#in which case i will try to make it clear im not in the mood to talk or youre like making me uncomfortable or something
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| His Foresight - Simon “Ghost” Riley X Medic!Reader (Part 1)
Word Count - 3k
Summary - Doc (y/n) is a medic at a base camp when they meet Lt. Simon “Ghost” Riley, when they meet for a second time it is because he’s been injured. During the two weeks it takes him to fully recover they develop an unspoken friendship. Simon’s next assignment is to escort a convoy across enemy lines, which would have been a walk in the park if they weren’t a part of that convoy. Even worse is when his worries and fears become real.
Tags/Warnings - Blood and Injury, Depictions of war and violence, Explicit Language, Character Death, Trauma, Opioids (they’re prescribed but i just want to add this in case), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut
A/N - im working on part 2 rn but it may take a little time for me to finish and upload but im in the middle of finals and have been busy with studying so please forgive me
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The first time Ghost came through your tent he was bringing in his comrade, Soap, for medical attention. It was a gunshot to the arm but nothing detrimental. A clean shot and the bullet had gone right through.
Ghost had remained quiet and observant but answered any questions you had about the wound.
“When did this happen?”
“Half an hour ago. Give or take.”
“Any meds?”
“Shot of adrenalin.”
You had sewen up the gunshot and nursed Soap back to health. However, Mr.MacTavish had been a difficult patient and after a week you discharged him early just to get him out of your hair. On multiple occasions you caught him trying to escape, claiming he was fine and ready for combat at least once a day. Most special ops were deluded like that, most thought they were superhumans. In a way, they kind of were with the speed at which they recovered. You would never tell them that. It would just go to their head.
Your tent has since been upgraded to a deployable field hospital. With a total of 50 beds and 15 staff members.
The second time Ghost made his way your way was on a stretcher. It was a deep and disturbing stab wound to his side, and if it were even an inch deeper it would have punctured his lung. It took you the whole two weeks he needed for recovery to get the full story out of him. Apparently, it was a series of unfortunate events which resulted in a hand-to-hand scrabble. He’d dominated his opponent and came out victorious but not without injury. He’d been all on his own for hours before finally making it to Exfil. In those few hours, he lost a lot of blood and was without any sort of analgesic until he was in the helicopter on his way here. Whatever the field medic had given him for the pain was enough to completely incapacitate the beast of a man. All the same, it was doing its job and controlling the pain. Your team had to do an emergency surgery at the base camp because he wasn’t stable enough for a medivac to a major hospital.
The man was in a foul mood when he awoke the next day. He wasn’t rude and uncivilized, but he made it clear the last place he wanted to be was bedbound in a field hospital. When it was mentioned he was going to be sent back home for recovery, he downright refused.
Strangely enough, it was also the first time you saw his entire face. When he first came in you were so amped on adrenalin and stressed that you didn’t register that his mask had been removed. It was immediately established that no other personnel apart from the small 3-man team already working on him would be allowed to interact with him to ensure his identity remained confidential. It was more for their safety than his if everyone was being candid. Even in his charts any identifiers were redacted and replaced with “John Doe”.
Two days post-op he insisted he be relocated to his barracks because he “could handle his own”. You compromised and told him you’d allow it under the one condition that he lets you come and check on him at least once a day. He did, but he didn’t exactly have a choice either because you would have shown up anyway.
That was where you were right now.
You knocked and waited for a response before letting yourself in, your supplies and kit in hand. It was just after noon when you arrived. You scanned his room. It was clean, almost barren. His blinds were half open, and the window cracked to let in the cool, fresh air. The clothes he was wearing when he came wounded were still in the biohazard bag we gave him when he left. The tray of food on the desk beside his bed was left untouched, and judging by the food variety it was from breakfast.
Upon hearing your arrival Ghost had forced himself into a sitting position. His face flushed with the change of position. His dark eyes were rimmed red from a lack of sleep, and his facial hair was growing. He was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants with the insignia of his old company and a plain black shirt. The shirt was loose and thin, but it did nothing to hide the muscle hiding underneath.
You rolled your eyes, blew out a breath, tossed your bag onto the bed beside him and pulled out the rolling chair at his desk to sit in front of him.
“You look like shit,” you knocked his elbow in a silent demand to lift his arm.
He grimaced but did it without complaint, “Ya, well I feel like shit.”
You lifted his shirt to get a look at the bandage underneath. There wasn’t any shadowing or blood seeping through so you gave him a quick nod before dropping the shirt, “Have you taken anything?”
He jerked his chin to the little orange bottle on his desk, “One of those.”
You picked it up to read the label, Oxycodone 10 mg OD.
“Nice, but you should be taking it with food,” you tilted your head in the direction of the untouched food. He merely shrugged, his eyes weary. His eyes turned the same golden brown of a whiskey glass in the sunlight.
You discreetly took his respiratory rate before moving on, “Any side effects? Nausea? Headache? Upset stomach?”
“Nope,” he said in exasperation. He leaned back onto his elbows, his long body stretching out across the width of the bed with his legs still hung over the side in preparation for you to change his dressings.
You gave him an unimpressed look, before pointing to the garbage bin he had at his bedside. There wasn’t anything in it but it was placed here in preparation, “If you aren’t going to be compliant I’m going to bring you back to the infirmary.”
“It came and went already. I’m fine,” he moved to lift his shirt, hinting at you to hurry up get the dressing change done and leave.
You scooted the chair closer, preparing your materials and supplies on his bedside table. When you removed the bandage and revealed the stitches you clicked your tongue, he hadn’t pulled any of them but the fact that it was still bleeding made it apparent he’d been more active than he should have been.
“How’s it lookin’ down there, Doc?” He rolled, his gaze following your movements with predatory grace. You glowered at the nickname.
You hummed, “Mhm.” and started cleansing the wound with saline before donning gloves and cleaning it more thoroughly. He hissed at the contact and you looked up, he had pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. His body tensed, and his muscles taut. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find him attractive. Alluring even. Especially when he was in this position, and had that look on his face.
“Are you going to survive?” You asked pulling back slightly.
“Just cold s’all.”
He made it through the rest of the dressing change without so much as a flinch. In fact, he might have fallen asleep near the end for a second. He didn’t open his eyes until you finished securing the gauze with the last piece of tape. His lids were heavy and his mouth was pulled down into a slight frown.
“You going to eat lunch?” you tugged off your gloves and threw them into the bin beside you.
He nodded sluggishly and laid back on the bed, folding his hands over his abdomen. Maybe the Oxycodone was making him drowsy, but he looked like he desperately needed rest.
“Did you sleep well last night?” You rolled back on the chair, giving him space. He shook his head. You quickly finished cleaning up any remaining supplies or trash before filling out his chart, “Maybe if you didn’t keep reopening your wound you’d be healing faster and sleep better.”
He replied with a quiet, almost boyish chuckle, “I’ve been behaving, don’t worry.”
“You’ve been nothing but extra paperwork,” you retort, tapping his leg with your foot. You stood with a snap of your notebook. “What do you want to drink with your lunch?”
“Just water,” his eyes remained closed and you made your way for the door, bringing his cold breakfast with you.
You returned with a new tray of food, this time you picked foods that would be easy on the stomach. The damn fool must have smelt it as you walked down the hall with it because before you could knock he was opening the door and stepping aside to let you in.
“Such a gentleman,” you tapped his shoulder as you passed.
He seemed to perk up at the brief contact, “As always.”
You placed his tray on the table before picking up your bag to get ready to leave for the day, “Any last request?” When you turned to face him your cheeks heated at the way he regarded you. His face softened, melting into something akin to respect. He was so expressive and you didn’t think he was aware. Perhaps it was because he had grown accustomed to the protection of his mask. You almost didn’t wait for his answer before taking your leave, making an excuse that you needed to report back. You did, but it wasn’t anything urgent, you just needed to get out of his room. Away from him. If only to remember how to breathe.
The process for the following two weeks was the same, only each day you stayed a little longer. You talked a little more. Despite his reputation, he was… normal. He was a little aloof and standoffish at times, and horribly, criminally unfunny, but he grew on you. You were slightly upset and maybe even a little scared you’d never see him again when you officially discharged him. Even worse, you were scared to see him again. Only, every time he returned from a mission he would come to pay you a visit. You might have considered calling him a friend. Might have considered wanting more from him.
Soap would sometimes occupy Simon, having made a connection with you of his own. A different type of connection, but a wholesome one. Soap had made a jest about just recruiting you as the 141’s personal field medic instead of bothering you at work every other week. Simon had shot the idea down like water on a fire, and the topic was never brought up again. He simply stated, “Never letting that happen.”
He had his reservations about you entering an active warzone, let alone going on assignments with a squad like the 141. He’s never outright said it but he developed a soft spot for you. Over the months he had unintentionally carved a hole in his chest just for you; a place where he could protect and watch over you. His fondness for you only made it all the harder when he received the 141’s next assignment. It was a regular convoy escort but he felt sick when he read your name on the list. He even went so far as to double-check the itinerary with Captain Price. Went so far as to try and get you removed from the assignment. When you learnt of what he was doing you cornered him and chewed his head off. You understood his trepidations and his actions, but both of you knew he was out of line when he tried getting you booted from the mission.
The convoy, mainly consisting of medical personnel, equipment, and supplies, would be moving right through enemy lines to get from your current base to a new one a few towns over. It would be dangerous, you weren’t naive, but you were your own person. You were simmering, but you couldn’t help the twinge of regret for yelling at him.
In the days leading up to the mission Simon had grown distant, but remained watchful of you. He kept quiet, but you could see it in the shadow of his eyes, and in the muscles between his shoulders that he had a lot to say.
There was a total of 5 medical personnel that were being transported, yourself included. You would be a vehicle with Butters, who was elected as the head medic for the new base, and your driver was going to be none other than Captain Price.
As everyone was preparing to leave and loading up the last supplies, you caught Price and Simon in a quiet conversation, you couldn’t hear their exchange but you could tell it was heated. Price rolled back on his feet, fixing Simon with a tight-lipped smile before shaking his head. With that Simon backed away from him, pointed a finger at him saying one last thing before he turned and stalked towards the vehicle he would be in, obviously unsatisfied with Prices’ response.
Butters sidled up next to you, his pack slung over his arm and offering you yours in his other hand, “There has been a slight change of plans,” he sighed, “Our voyage is now split into two days, we'll be staying overnight in a town in between. Our route hasn’t been completely cleared yet.”
You turned your attention to him, your brows furrowing, “So they want us to have a sleepover behind enemy lines?” You almost laughed at the ridiculousness of it.
Butters shrugged, seemingly unbothered by the turn of events. Butters always seemed to keep his thoughts and feelings close to his chest, but it was clear very little invoked thoughts and emotions out of him. He enlisted when he was 18 years old; he was 32 now with a wife, 3 kids, and another on the way. There was a high probability he would be asking for leave in the next couple of months so he could be there for his next child's birth. It sucked because he was the only other medic you were close with. You’d miss him.
Butters and you jumped into the back seats of one car with Price, you’d be in the middle of the convoy, Ghost, Soap, and another medic in the other would take the rear, and Gaz and Roach would be in another vehicle at the front. There was also a total of five transport trucks. The convoy would be a giant target as we passed through, which is why the 141 was tasked with our protection.
Price explained that the ride would be slow-moving and briefed the two of you on what to expect. He instructed you both to stay alert and that there was a chance of running into a hostile.
The first couple hours were incredibly boring, but Butters alleviated some of it by tasking you with going over the manifestation of everything you guys were hauling with you. You also made conversation with Price about his last leave, he had returned home and “sat on the patio and smoked cigars” for two weeks.
The sound was louder than anything you ever experienced in your life. You didn’t even have time to scream before the force of the detonation knocked you unconscious.
It couldn’t have been longer than a couple of minutes when you finally regained consciousness. The vehicle was now completely upside down, the wheels still spinning as they faced the sky. The seatbelt was the only thing keeping you from landing face-first into shattered glass and rubble.
In front of you, Price was already pulling himself out the window and onto the street. He looked back into the cab and for you and said something.
Nothing was processing right. Not his words. Not your thoughts. Not the sight before you. Everything was foggy, as if it was a dream.
Price reached back for you, bracing you with an arm before releasing your seatbelt. Your knees cracked as they hit the roof, the glass ripping through your uniform. The pain didn’t even register. Price hauled you out with him before going back in for Butters.
Only he didn’t.
Instead, he returned with his gun. Before he could stop you, you crawled back in for Butters to get him yourself.
You froze. There was no saving him. There was almost nothing left.
He was on the same side the anti-vehicle mine went off.
You slowly backed out, shaking your head not believing your own eyes.
Price was crouched beside you, his back to the vehicle, his eyes revealed no emotion.
You looked back down the road you had just come down and the transport truck that was tailing you had stopped before entering the intersection. Beside them was the truck that Ghost and Soap were in. Ghost was jumping out, his gun drawn. Soap slid from the passenger seat to the driver's side. The medic they were escorting jumped out the back and ran for the transport truck.
It was then you noticed that Price was shooting at something down the intersection. You could see the flash as the bullets left the barrel and smell the gunpowder, but you couldn’t hear it. You couldn’t hear anything.
You brushed your fingers to your ear and when you looked at them they came away red. Blood.
The sheer force of the blast ruptured your eardrums.
You watched as Ghost applied suppressing fire and sidestepped in time with the truck as Soap rolled it into the intersection.
Price looked over his shoulder at you, his mouth moving. You could see it in his eyes the moment he connected the dots and caught that you couldn’t hear he turned to Ghost. Who jerked his head towards you and met your gaze. His eyes were wide, panicked. He ditched the cover of the truck and sprinted over while Price took over the covering fire. He slid into you, his gloved finger coming up to grab the sides of your face. He was gentle but urgent as he turned your head from side to side to inspect the damage.
You caught your reflection in one of the side mirrors, and couldn't recognize the person staring back at you. Their expression cataonic. Blood leaked out their ears, down their neck, and blood dripped out of their nose. Their teeth had gone through their bottom lip from the impact of the blast.
A low ringing began as sounds started to come back to you. Then it turned into an agonizing peal like you had stuck your head in a fire alarm. Ghost didn’t give you a chance to cover your ears because he was already pulling you into his chest, pressing one ear into his chest, and covering the other with his free hand. Using his remaining hand he raised his gun and pulled the trigger.
Soap pulled their truck up next to yours, making a barricade with them. He slid out, being careful to keep his head down and ready to join the fight.
Ghost started walking back towards the buildings behind, using his body to shield you from stray bullets. He smelt of gunpowder, sweat, and dust. He smelt familiar. His hard body against yours felt familiar. You felt the reverberation of his voice in his chest as he yelled something. You stumbled back with him as he moved, but he was practically carrying you at this point so you wouldn’t fall. His gun dangled at his hip. Soap was at the door to the nearest building, kicking the door open, the lock shattering.
The ringing in your ears was still present but you make out their muffled yelling as the rest of them filed in. Ghost sat you down at the far wall and behind rows of shelving units. Price and Soap guarded the entrance.
Price started talking into his radio, “Gaz! We got enemy fire coming from southwest of the fire hall. We’re down one and another has been wounded. We are fresh out of wheels, they planted fucking mines,” he yelled into his radio over the sound of oncoming and outgoing gunshots.
“We’re on our way,” Gaz’s voice replied through the Ghost radio that was attached to his shoulder.
Ghost then knelt back down in front of you and swore. His hands shook as he reached for a rectangular pack at his hip, a little red insignia printed on the front. A med-pack. He dumped its contents onto the floor, rummaging through it until he found what he was looking for.
He lifted your leg and started wrapping your thigh, but not before you saw what he was swearing at. There was a two-inch gash in your leg exposing raw flesh and muscle underneath.
“That’s not good,” you breathed. It felt like your throat was torn to shreds; as if you had inhaled the explosion itself.
“You’re fine,” he didn’t look up as he wrapped. It was tight enough that it hurt and you could feel your heartbeat crashing against the pressure. Despite that, the bandage wasn’t going to last.
You choked a laugh, “You might want to get out your, ‘I told you so’s’ while you still can,” You meant for it to come off as nonchalant but your voice quivered.
“You’re fine,” he repeated.
“I left a kit in the back seat,” You sucked in a sharp breath when he pulled the gauze one last time to tie a knot, “I don’t know if it survived though.”
Because it was right next to Butters before the mine tore through the side SUV he was on.
Before I could say another word, Ghost was moving towards the door. Requested for an update, then asked for covering fire before exiting the door. He returned moments later with the kit. When he brought it over he made sure to place it behind him so you couldn’t see the condition of it. You imagined it to be macabre.
As the adrenalin pumping through your body drained it began to tremble, cold rushing into your bones. Blood was already starting to dot the surface of the bandage.
“Powder,” You instructed Ghost. He moved fast, cutting the bandage away with the blade he pulled from its sheath at his thigh, and tearing open the packaging. It was a quick-clotting powder used to stop the bleeding.
You were no doubt in shock because you couldn’t feel the pain anymore. He rewrapped your leg; somehow, it was even tighter than before. You heard Gaz give an update over the radio, asking for more details and you could hear Price relaying the plan.
Your breaths became shallow and sedated, your strength ebbing away. You fought the urge to close your eyes in fear of never opening them again.
Ghost tapped a hand on your cheek, “Don’t be falling asleep on me, now Doc.”
You were barely able to ground out a “Sir, yes, sir,” before your chin hit the front of your chest and succumbed to the darkness pulling at you.
Part 2
Masterlist ❤︎
#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley fanfiction#ghost mw2#ghost x reader#MW2#mw2 x reader#cod ghost#cod x reader#cod fanfic#soap mctavish#captain price#MistyGhosties
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Hey there, I just found your blog and hope u have great day! May I request Gojo x small boobie reader since yk.. 🥲 u can add comfort if u want or not its up to u though 🤷♀️ i guess hes a canon tit guy due to his wallpaper was Waka Inoue but still i wonder how he'd react to his partner. Stay hydrated and take care of urself 🙏
SMALL BOOBS? NO PROBLEM!
warnings: smut, angst, unprotected sex, cunnilingus, fingering, dacryphilia, whimpering, insecure reader, p in v sex, praising, nipple biting, biting words: 1k.
A/N: is this me crying bc of one of my insecurities?, no, that's not me.
The first time you saw his wallpaper on his phone, it kinda broke your heart. You didn’t understand why of all the girls he has met, he chose you.
A man as handsome as him could easily get a girl with a big chest. So when he asked to be your boyfriend you thought he would just play with you.
The both of you already had sex some other times ago without making anything official.
So when he planned to become your boyfriend he noticed your demeanor turning quieter, almost like you’re scared of something happening.
He tried to ask what’s wrong but you would always say anything is fine and give him a kiss to make him forget about that.
Which worked really well, until you became distant, not totally, but him watching you not wanting to be part of his go outs with friends, or not even going out with him, it caused him to be insecure of this relationship.
And he started noticing you covering up more of your body with clothes bigger than you. He didn’t like that. He loved your body.
So when things started to heat up one day and you said you weren't in the mood he finally broke down.
‘Baby what's wrong? You’ve been so different these days, am I doing something wrong? Did you find someone else?’ His voice sounded like it was about to break, never in his life he felt so vulnerable, the fear of losing you was eating him alive.
‘Please tell me what’s wrong,’ He cupped your cheeks with his hands, tears forming in your eyes, he looked at you, ‘I’ll fix it baby, please.’ His face changed from fear to sadness when he watched you break crying. Without a word he hugged you, keeping the comfortable silence in the room, ‘I’m sorry ‘toru…’ he pulled apart from your brace and looked at you confused. ‘What do you mean?..’ Your hiccups trying to remain your cries broke his heart. ‘I-im not the type of girl you want.’ It’s like his heart was cut into a thousand pieces when you said those words, ‘What? You’re totally the girl I want, why do you think that?’ He cupped your face again,
‘Y-your wallpaper.’ You made a gesture pointing his phone with your chin, your gaze immediately looking away from Gojo. ‘What’s wrong with my wallpaper?’ His brows furrowed, moving his body to grab his phone from the nightstand and then showing it to you.
It was a picture of the both of you. You are hugging him, face hidden on his chest while he smiles from teeth to teeth, eyes scrunching and hugging you back like his life depended on it.
The background was full of trees, you remember it was the day he asked you to be your boyfriend. On the right side of the picture there’s a heart with your initials next to it.
Tears formed again in your eyes, turning his phone to search for anything related to his favorite actress, you saw his clear phone case with a polaroid he took of you one day the both of you went for a walk. You were eating an ice-cream, probably laughing at something Gojo said.
You looked so pretty.
You broke down crying again, feeling guilty. You explained to your boyfriend why you were acting like these and the insecurities you had, making you hide your body from yourself and him.
He broke down crying too, he immediately hugged you, thinking what he did for you to make you think that down of him. ‘I’m so sorry baby, before we were together I was scared to use a picture of us since maybe you felt uncomfortable, my eyes belong to you, I don’t care if you have small breasts, you’re the most precious thing in my life. Every part of your body was made for me and it’s perfect that way, you don’t have to hide it from me.’ He connected his lips with yours, making you leave an unexpected moan.
His kisses started marking your neck and continuing what you were up to before. Í’m going to show you how much I love you baby.’ His hands traveled down your body and got under your shirt. Pinching your right nipple with his thumb and index finger, making you whine at the sudden action. ‘I’m so sorry princess, i’m so sorry for not telling you everyday how perfect you are,’
He undressed the both of you while giving you quick pecks which made the both of you giggle, his kisses on your neck went to your chest and he inserted one of your nipples inside his mouth. You moaned, while his free hand played with your other nipple, ‘So perfect f’me’
His free hand slandered through your body until it met your wet lips and started playing with your clit, teasing your hole, making you moan. His mouth switched to the other nipple, inserting his middle finger while he rubs your clit with his thumb. ‘My pretty girl, mine and only mine.’
You whined at the sudden lost sensation of his fingers inside of you, but that whine turned into a silent moan when he inserted his cock inside of you. ‘so ready and wet f’me. This pussy is mine. Your body is so beautiful my love.’
His thrusts were slow but hard, every thrust followed by a praise after it. Sloppy kisses between the both of you, and him just exploring your body with his hands like he didn’t do it a million of times before. But this time it was appreciating it, leaving his touch for you to remember how much he loves you no matter what.
‘Cum baby, mph-’ His words were interrupted with a whimper when he felt your hole clench at his words, ‘Let’s cum at the same time.’ His rhythim suddenly changed into a quicker pse but still hard thrusts. Whimpers felt out of his mouth, tears also forming on his eyes, all you could do was moan and say his name like a prayer.
‘A-Ah! So pretty… so perfect.’ The last thrust sent a sudden electric shock between the both of you, all you could see was white, legs shaking, he groaned in your shoulder before biting on it. His cock strips of cum coming out and filling you up.
‘I love you baby, never forget that.’
#gojo satoru smut#gojou satoru x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu gojo#gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru fluff#request open
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hi!! idk if u take requests for fan fictions…but im curious to see how gojo would react if reader (his s/o!!) ate one of sukunas fingers, also i love your works :)) keep on going!
-raccoon anon :3🦝
Omg my first thought was that he'll be like "what have you done...what the fuck have you done...?"
Yeah sure I take requests but depending on my schedule It'll take some time. And thankssss it really makes me happyyyy >.<
∞ ┊ 『A Special Case』
❀ Summary : You ate one of Sukuna Ryomen's fingers...by accident
❀ Warnings : Nothing,just worried and overprotective Satoru :),Satoru Gojo x fem!reader
The white-haired man runned his hand through his hair as he cursed under his breath. It wasn't everyday that Satoru Gojo was irritated...but this is a special case.
"Just...what have you done?" His voice is hoarse and his anger is clear as you can see how the vein of his neck sticked out. He took off his blindfold which led to his crystal blue eyes staring at you,his white lashes hovering just above them and he's frowning intensely.
"I-it was an accident!" You mumble with a nervous tone.
"You ate one of Sukuna Ryomen's fingers by accident!?" He sighs heavily. "I sent you with another first grade to prevent such accidents!"
"You didn't send me with any first grade,she wanted to take the finger and negotiate with you!!" You cross your arms in front of your chest and huff. "I'm so sorry that I wanted to help you!"
"Look..." He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I don't want you to do anything for me..." He runs his hand through your hair before it caresses your cheek,his touch tender,as he looks at you with those now softened crystal blue eyes. "I'm the one who's supposed to protect you,not the other way around."
"I know,but..." Your voice trails off.
"Maybe I should've sent you with anyone other than Mei." He chuckles,trying to light up the mood.
"Maybe you should've sent me alone. Have some faith in me,Satoru!" You frown.
He laughs before pinching your cheek. "But I don't want anything happening to you!" His expression then changes into one of seriousness as he looks at you like he's looking through your soul with his six eyes. "Good,looks like it hasn't messed up with your soul yet." His face softens as a smile appears on it. "I'll see if Shoko is up. We have to get it out of your body as soon as possible." He pulls out his phone out of his pocket and dials a number.
"Wait...what do you mean!?" But he's talking with his phone,not answering you.
"Great,she's up. Let's go now." He says as he hangs up,grabbing your wrist and pulling you out of the room. "I'll teleport us,since it's urgent."
"Wait,Satoru,what do you mean by getting it out!?" You stumble,trying to keep up with his long steps.
He doesn't answer,though. He keeps pulling your wrist until you're out of the building and he teleports you and himself to Shoko's workplace.
✐ᝰ.divider by @/saradika-graphics
#⟦✂---Shin's Inbox✓⟧#〔𖤐Shin's work༉〕#《𖥔Shin's pop works♪》#satoru gojo deserves the world and more#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu kaisen#anon ask#「Racoon Anon🦝」
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Regarding the 2020 discussion, I do understand what anon means and how someone could watch some of the content during that time and come to a similar conclusion. At one point, I was really considering it myself. However looking back, I don't think it can be specifically applied to Taekook.
Between the period of 2018-2020 (with a couple of outliers during late 2017 and early 2021) there were moments where Taekook appeared sometimes distant and different on screen. I remember being so confused because I'd see these moments and wonder if there was a problem but then there were also more 'hidden' and off screen moments where they seemed just as close, if not closer than ever so a lot of things weren't making sense.
And even within the same content (like Run eps for example) Taekook could seem to blow hot and cold (though we've all, I'm sure, seen clear cases of editing when it comes to pre-filmed content)
As a Taekooker, my thinking at the time was that there might have potentially been a break up but even that didn't make sense because those moments of closeness we did see contradicted any on screen distance and awkwardness. It didn't make sense how they'd be so awkward on screen because of a break up or shipping yet manage to drop that awkwardness in their private time.
Then after rewatching a lot of content at a later date and with less of a hyper focus on Taekook, I realised that Tae was, at times, coming across as a little disoriented and disconnected in general. Anon has only picked up on Taekook and Tae and Yoongi (which personally I don't see as the greatest example of what I'm talking about because unless im getting my timelines mixed up, I think they had some of their closest moments during that period) but Tae's relationships with the others also didn't seem to be running at peak either.
And I'm not alluding to anything malicious or speculating about major fallouts because we saw the guys trying to rally around him. We saw Jimin trying extra hard to make him laugh and put a smile on his face, we even saw RM ask him in a live to reach out to him more and hugging him and talking him out of negative self criticism, we saw moments of concern from members about Taehyung potentially bottling up his feelings, we had the guys so desperate that they even used an interview format to practically beg Taehyung to come to them and offload on them when he felt burdened and was suffering. We saw moments of JK being hyper alert to his moods (which is one of the things that confused me when put up against the 'not close/breakup theories)
It was clear to me even then that Taehyung was going through something seriously with his mental health though I didn't like to speculate openly at the time. However, he's recently spoken about it hinself at this point so I feel comfortable in saying that I think a lot of that awkwardness and disconnection we were picking up on was him struggling to get through his duties, emotionally numbing as people do during depression, disassociating etc.
For a long time, it seemed like only JHope and to a lesser degree, Jin, could crack that shell a little during content and I really do think it's by force of their personality alone and easy going nature. While probably even closer to Taehyung, JK is one of the most easily affected by the others moods and Jimin is a natural problem solver.
If we're hyperfocused on Taekook then we're only going to see a distance between them compared to the fun and mischief and boundless energy we used to see between them but if you look at the bigger picture, you can see Taehyung being withdrawn, reserved and having moments of disconnection in general---not just with the members but with himself and whatever he's engaging with at the time.
As a fan from very early on in the group the change in Taehyung's emotional state was jarring, concerning and pretty drastic. I also saw the impact on his interactions with the other members. Again, I'm not claiming that anyone did anything wrong or anyone was to blame because we also saw how loved he was, how hard they tried to lift him up, build his confidence back up, put a smile on his face, keep an eye on his moods etc. It's just that sometimes what you need isn't what you want when your mental health is suffering.
And he got through it because as surely as I saw the change in his mood back then, I started to see it positively shuft again by 2021 and, not coincidentally, we had people talking about how open and bubbly and energetic and engaged he seemed again, how he seemed more like 'the old Tae' (though I loathe that saying) and how he and JK had never seemed closer and how Vmin was rising again etc.
I know we rely a lot on the timeline as a counter in some of these discussions but that because whenever there's a moment where you could make a valid arguement that Taekook broke up/aren't close/are distant/fell out etc---there's something in the timeline that completely contradicts that idea.
I've been caught out and surprised myself a few times thinking I knew what was going on only to see it countered in black and white when seeing the timeline.
I've been so sure on a Tuesday that their relationship is broken only to have my eye wiped by Thursday's post that shows them being as close as can be.
So while I do understand anon, I also think some Taekookers, including myself, are more susceptible to being a little narrow minded and tunnel visioned when it comes to their relationship and that sometimes, it's best to take a step back from Taekook and look at the bigger picture overall.
Hi anon!
I absolutely agree with what you’ve said here. It’s a tough thing to talk about, because it’s such a delicate matter and we really have little knowledge about all the reasons why and the full extent of Tae’s mental health issues.
Standing by and watching a loved one struggle with depression is so hard. It’s not comparable with how the person actually suffering feels, but the feeling of powerlessness and constant worry is huge. I recognize what you have laid out here from situations in my own life.
There’s so much more to a person than the relationship they’re in. Yes, we do look at Tae and Jk’s interactions a lot, but to understand them we need to understand as much about their lives as we can. People aren’t static and the way they interact and respond to things may vary from day to day and from moment to moment even.. it just depends on so many things.. we will never be able to deduce what exactly went on.
To me Tae and Jk also make sense in the bigger picture. At times the ‘greatest love story’ comments irk me a bit, because yeah.. I think their love is of the greatest kind, but at the same time I would have wished things to have been so much more easier for them. I think Tae’s mental problems must’ve been so hard on Jk and your ‘jk being hyper alert to his moods’ definitely rings true for me.
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to the anon who requested this, i hope u like it! it’s my first time getting a request so im kinda nervous hsjdjdj
pairings: suna x gn!reader
genre: fluff (i think,,,)
warnings: swearing
a/n: not proofread! also youre playing fade & suna is playing yoru btw; in case it isnt implied well enough hsjdjd mb !!
“fuck! my bad, i whiffed. viper’s lit 78” you sigh into your mic.
you press ‘tab’ to look at your kda. 7/11/12 honestly isn’t that bad for someone who just started the game a couple weeks ago, but you just couldn’t help but feel like shit over your gameplay today. your frames were horrible and you were whiffing. a lot.
“oh my god, fade. you’re so fucking trash at this game” your team’s omen snaps.
you’d be lying if you said you weren’t expecting to hear stuff like that. you hear this kind of bullshit almost every single time you play, whether it’s directed at you or at another teammate. you close your eyes and take in a deep breath in an effort to calm yourself down.
you let out a soft “sorry”, hoping that the omen would just accept it and let it go.
“wait. why the fuck are you apologizing?” suna speaks up, annoyance clear in his voice.
suna always gets very heated whenever someone is being rude to you, simply because you don’t deserve to be treated like shit. he knows you won’t stand up for yourself, so he always takes things into his own hands.
you know what he’s about to do, and even though you kinda like it when he defends you, you aren’t really in the mood for conflicts today.
“rin, it’s fine—” you try to stop him, but suna interrupts you.
“omen you literally got knifed like four rounds ago. how about you shut the fuck up and play the game instead of being a toxic little bitch?”
there’s a short silence before the omen responds. maybe he’s backing off? you think to yourself, until you hear him snicker, “aw, is that your duo, yoru? i feel bad for you dude. you should find a new duo”
you can almost hear something in suna snap from miles away, but before you can even get the chance to say anything to intervene, suna spits, “and i feel bad for whoever has to deal with your annoying ass. don’t talk to me again unless you’re top fragging. y/n, just mute him.”
suna doesn’t talk for the rest of the game. you know he’s focused on trying to top frag so that he can make his point. he teabags the omen after getting an ace, which you found really amusing (and kinda cute).
“fuck you, omen” he scoffs after defusing the spike, getting your team the winning point.
#haikyuu hcs#haikyuu headcanons#suna hcs#suna headcanons#suna rintarō#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#suna x reader#haikyuu x reader#suna valorant
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i would say overall i don't really agree with psychiatry but i also kinda disagree with some common antipsychiatry views.
in my experience, psychiatry has been extremely helpful, but only in the case where the professional didn't prescribe to diagnosis as a solid thing, and instead adopted an approach of treating symptoms that affect me, acknowledging that diagnoses have a lot of overlap, and many of the boxes aren't fully accurate to reality. basically like, acknowledging that i have symptoms of Bipolar, BPD, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, Major Depression, and Social Anxiety, and each of these can have significant overlap, so rather than treat me as having a specific disorder, they ask what my problems are, what i want treated, and how i want to treat it.
they give me suggestions mostly. my official diagnosis from my latest psych was Bipolar, but she didn't have the full picture of my symptoms, now knowing my previous diagnosis was Borderline. but like treatment now is "these things might help stabilise your mood (they have), but your main course of action is therapy"
i've been basically using self-help stuff online to therapy myself, tho, lol
idk it's just i've rarely actually seen doctors and therapists who prescribe strictly to the DSM. i've had some, but most i've had actually criticise the DSM and think a patient-first, therapy-based approach is essential, with medications only being there as a sort of "safety net" that can help with negative mental effects like mood swings and psychosis.
and like. i agree. i was off my quetiapine for a long time, and i can see the effects it's having on me now that im back in it, clear as day. like i wanted to try it again, unsure if it would work, but after a week of being on it, my ability to use techniques i learned in therapy has increased DRASTICALLY, and my mental health has been improving significantly with a combination of medication, therapy, reading of case studies, etc.
a lot of the antipsychiatry i see is (i think rightfully) focused on anti-diagnosis, which is a stance i agree with wholeheartedly, but also that medication wan entirely ineffective and often harmful approach to treatment, which i disagree.
it's like the anti-chiropractic. i'm anti-chiropractic myself, but SOME chiropractic is shown to be effective In Combination With Ither Treatment, with the chiropractic often improving outcomes.
medication is, in my experience, like that. it's like. augmentative to therapy-based treatment. it doesn't like, fix your problem, and it's not supposed to be the only thing you're doing for your treatment, with almost all psychs and therapists i see taking an almost wholly nurture-based approach to treatment, where some chemical imbalances can exacerbate problems, but treatment of just the chemical imbalances doesn't fix the problem, it's like a cane. it helps you keep walking so you can exercise the problem, basically.
and i really like that comparison.
I use a cane to take weight off my bad hip, and to help me keep my balance when walking, because my bad hip causes me to over-rely on my knee on that side, which causes buckling.
but using the cane isn't healing my hip. dedicated exercise and physical therapy is.
stopping the cane would make me more likely to fall and get hurt, but i can do the physical therapy without my cane. the cane just makes me less likely to get hurt, which means my progress will be more linear.
and that's the view i and my psychs have toward medications and psychotherapy.
my biggest problem with psychiatry, personally, is involuntary commitment.
i think that inpatient care NEEDS to be ENTIRELY voluntary, regardless of the condition of the patient, because, in my experience, being trapped in a facility with shifting release dates is not helpful for my mental health, it is demeaning. being made a prisoner for wanting to hurt myself doesn't help me.
if commitment was always entirely voluntary, and included one-on-one therapy for the patients, it would actually give a place for people who are in too bad a spot for just outpatient a place to go for safety, where they can control their treatment in a place where they can feel safe from themselves, without feeling like they are trapped, or under surveillance.
but like, the capitalists would probably think ppl who "didn't need it" would use those facilities basically as places for free food or something, covered by their insurance, and i think insurance would try to not cover entirely voluntary commitment like that, especially if it was "too frequent."
anyways these are the thoughts and observations i've come to based on my extensive experience as a patient (20+ years) in and out of psychiatric care.
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hey, just wanted to let you know that i also wasn’t trying to start a debate, which is why i was using tags to express my thoughts instead of replying to you directly. in the circles of tumblr im usually in, using tags to reply to someone else’s tags isn’t seen as “rude” but rather as a way to react to something someone said without starting a full-out conversation where they’re obligated to reply to you. i apologize that it came off differently. my intent was to express confusion and explain why it isn’t a case of infantilization. and that remains my opinion—i believe it’s a different situation than the examples you gave in your reblog—but as you said, you clearly have thoughts that go beyond what you tagged, so i don’t have a full grasp of your own opinion. that’s another reason that i only replied indirectly through the tags, because i wasn’t trying to argue with something that i obviously didn’t have a full picture of. i just want to make it clear that i was not commenting in the tags to be rude or to start a debate, rather the opposite
thanks for clarifying <3
also, i was in an especially bad mood yesterday when your reblog popped up in my notifications, and. well. A Reaction happened.
(never got the hang of 'mail'; why no private reply option? 'answer' is just a new post… ah well. i can delete/make private if you wish so.)
#… i can't even find the 'mail' thing in the menu now?? wth tumblr#and i call it 'mail' because uuuh isn't this what was formerly 'fan mail'? which was weird but
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hi lemony. Hoping u could take my request.
Are you in a mood for angst? it doesn't matter what the plot is. im just really looking for some angsty fics of Kakashi x fem reader.
hello, my dear. thank you for stopping by & i hope you are doing well! now, you sent this right after 🏳️🌈 anon sent this song to my inbox. i know now they didn’t intend for this to be a request, but at the time, i thought they did.
i hope neither of you mind that i’ve combined these two into one little ditty with a gender-neutral MC. <3
here is a link to the song in case anyone would like to listen to it.
Title: Cursed (AO3 Link Here)
Summary: Kakashi Hatake knows he is cursed even if not everyone can see it.
Word Count: 3,344 (that includes the lyrics and i’m too lazy to see what it is without them as;ldfjd forgive me)
Warnings: gn!MC, mentions of suicide, references to depression and death, some suggestive language
.
There's a fire in my brain and I'm burning up
Oh my, oh my
Keep running for the sink but the well is dry
Oh my, oh my
Kakashi changes after his team falls apart. His posture is too straight—his jaw too tight. Even with the mask on, it’s obvious he’s always grinding his teeth.
Though he tries his best to let the cruel and cutting words roll off him—Friend-Killer, Cold-Blooded, Murderer—they settle over his skin like a painful exoskeleton of preconceived notions. It is a comfort in some ways because he knows no one will ever bother to look beyond it.
Someone does, though, even if he doesn’t notice right away.
They don’t see him crying in the night, don’t watch him rush to the kitchen sink to scrub the persistent, imagined blood from his fingers, but they know Kakashi suffers in the wake of Rin’s death. They visit her grave, make small offerings. They hope seeing the evidence of someone else mourning will remind Kakashi he is not alone.
He sees the flowers over Rin’s name and feels alone anyway.
Every word I say is kindling
But the smoke clears when you're around
Won't you stay with me, my darling
When my walls start burning down, down, down?
Kakashi is too good at what he does—too precise and neat and dedicated to his craft. It might be a more admirable trait if his trade were not plied in violence. He buries himself in it, dives elbow-deep into the viscera of his enemies just so he doesn’t have to remember what is waiting for him at home.
Or rather, what isn’t.
Slowly, he realizes there is a comrade who sticks a little closer, that they linger after all the reports have been filed, sit next to him in the locker room. Their efforts pay off when his gaze begins to slide over to them increasingly often.
It’s a silent sort of companionship; the distant warmth of another shoulder or the soft clearing of a throat across the room.
Still, it anchors Kakashi a little on the worst of days. He lashes out at them sometimes, cutting words flung like kunai across a hallway when they stand a little close.
But they only smile in response and hope the fog in his brain lifts a little at the edges.
This house says my name like an elegy
Oh my, oh my
Echoing where my ghosts all used to be
Oh my, oh my
Kakashi knows he can’t stay here. He sleeps in the barracks more often than his own bed already, which leaves plenty of fodder for gossip. But there are ghosts in the Hatake Estate and he is tired of trying to outrun them. No matter where he sleeps, they creep in between the crevices, the cracks in the wood.
Always find him.
So he shutters his childhood home, as if he is winterizing a vacation house. He has no plans to return to it, no reason to ever go back.
He finds a bare-bones apartment, a single room with space enough for a large bed. He needs it so the dogs will have a place to sleep when he summons them in the night, when the terror seizes his chest and he wakes clutching at a pounding heart, afraid he is about to die.
He knows he won’t, though; dying would be far too great a mercy for a man like Kakashi.
And he’s always received plenty of attention. Men and women offering to keep his bed warm by his side, to provide some much-needed relief on extended missions.
He turns most of them down. But the one he doesn’t is a mistake because this person knows him too well, knows when he is hiding. They’ve been standing too close for years and they keep looking at him.
Now they draw maps across his body with their teeth like they are marking him.
Like he is theirs even if they know he will never allow them such a claim.
It is a dangerous thing, Kakashi knows, to think you belong to another person.
Other people die. They break.
But they promise him they won’t—that they are strong enough to withstand whatever agony he might thrust upon them. It doesn’t stop him from trying, though. His words are cruel, his actions sometimes more so. But every time he returns from a mission, they crawl into bed beside him and allow him to take his fill without complaint.
They hold him afterward, kiss his temple, even though they know come morning, he will shove them away.
Kakashi doesn’t dream so much when he’s with them. It’s almost as if they know a secret for keeping the ghosts at bay.
There's still cobwebs in the corners
And the backyard's full of bones
Won't you stay with me, my darling
When this house don't feel like home?
When this house don't feel like home?
Despite his best efforts, the apartment never feels like home. In desperation, Kakashi returns to the Hatake Clan’s farmhouse searching for that feeling of belonging somewhere he has missed for so long.
The floors are dusty, the closest ruled by spiders, each room achingly empty.
He stands in the place where he found his father’s body, curls his toes against the tatami mats, so fresh and new compared to those around them. He knows if he lifts them up, there will be a dark stain in the wood beneath that he could never quite scrub out.
And he wonders if one day his fate might be the same. If he remains so untethered to his life, will he return here to find peace and purpose in a blade?
After he leaves the house, he takes an unfamiliar path through Konoha.
It is the first time he visits another person’s bed. Though their body is second nature to him, now, the surroundings are strange. It’s exhilarating and beautiful—like a vacation from his existence, even if it is only a single evening.
They are surprised when he climbs through the window. This person who has followed him for so long, waited patiently for him, given of themselves to him without receiving anything in kind—they jump when he steps onto their floor.
But in an instant, their shock fades to elation and then concern.
“Is everything okay?”
It isn’t, but he nods. “Fine,” he says, closing the distance slowly; like a predator. His gaze is intense, both pupils tracing the lines of their face as he approaches.
“How did you know where I live?”
He wants to laugh. Admit he’s known for years where to find them at any given moment; they are like a beacon—a landmark he cannot escape even when he wants to.
Kakashi isn’t sure he wants to anymore.
He never answers their question, knows that doing so would reveal too much of his own feelings. Instead, he squeezes the last centimeters of air from between their bodies and claims the feeling of belonging he has so desperately been searching for without remorse.
They are more than happy to oblige.
Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust
The devil's after both of us
Oh, lay my curses out to rest
Make a mercy out of me
Kakashi should have known his penance would come in the form of flesh. The children assigned to him—the delicate lives balanced on his palms—reflect so acutely back at him.
Obito, Itachi, Minato-sensei, even Rin.
The ghosts are back, he realizes. He never should have expected to outrun them forever.
He throws himself forcibly into the role of teacher. He’s not very good at first, but he thinks he finds his footing eventually.
And after a long, cold while, there is warmth in his bed again—that same familiar person drawing maps. He tells them in a post-coital haze one night that he is cursed. That the eyes of Sasuke and Naruto, Sakura’s misplaced optimism, are his penitence for failing those who came before.
“That isn’t true,” they whisper, “you don’t owe anyone your contrition, not even the dead.”
He shrugs them off, then, even as they try to drag him back under the haze, under the blankets. But he showers instead, tells them gruffly they should be gone before he’s done.
They have never denied Kakashi anything he’s asked of them, and this time is no different.
When Kakashi walks back into the bedroom to find it empty—their clothes gone from the floor, shoes no longer by the door—he is disappointed.
As their scent fades in the cool night air, drifting lazily out his open window, Kakashi realizes he should have asked them to stay. Knows they would have if he had.
Maybe he is not cursed after all, he thinks, maybe he is the curse.
This tired old machine is a-rumbling
Oh my, oh my
Singing songs to the secrets behind my eye
Oh my, oh my
He pushes them away. How could he not?
Kakashi has failed in every role he’s ever taken—student, commander, son, friend, sensei. How could he risk also falling short of lover?
It’s unfair, and so he stops playing coy with his distance. Instead of feigning disinterest, he shoves it at them. They arrive at his door and he slams it closed so quickly it hits their nose. He avoids their gaze when he sees their black eyes the next day, but they still wave at him. Still smile in his direction.
Subtle, heartfelt promises that everything is okay.
Kakashi does not understand why.
He wants to apologize, to hold their face between his hands and tell them it was an accident. Yes, he meant to close the door, but he was too distracted to realize they’d taken a step forward.
It’s just another example of his curses; everyone who gets close to him is lying unawares in the path of a tsunami. His disastrous lack will drown them one day.
They don’t mind treading water while they wait for him to be ready.
Kakashi watches Naruto disappear off with Jiraiya, pushes Sakura to train with Tsunade, and allows Gai to lose himself in his students. All while he himself retreats from the bonds he’s forged. He is cruel to his comrades so they will no longer invite him out for drinks after a mission. He keeps his window closed so no one will appear in it uninvited, asking if they can climb into bed next to him as they have countless times before.
And they recognize the distance for what it is—the grieving of a broken man—but they do not push. They watch him carefully from a distance, as they once did, content to keep a watchful eye out for any changes; to return to his side the moment he requires it.
Kakashi summons his ninken when he sleeps and they crowd around him, lie over his chest. It’s suffocating, but familiar. A comfort against the ceaseless darkness of his dreams.
The sharingan remembers everything it has ever seen, and it replays his failures in cruel clarity. Even those events for which he did not yet possess the eye seem to rewind themselves behind his lids as he sleeps, a blistering montage of the worst moments of his life.
There are someone else’s flowers on Rin’s grave. He sweeps them off and crushes the blooms underfoot.
Still, they bring more flowers and lay them over the stone. Say a prayer for the living as well as the dead.
All my aching bones are trembling
And I may yet fall apart
Won't you stay with me, my darling
When the war starts in my heart?
When the war starts in my heart?
Kakashi is prepared to die in the war. Part of him, he thinks, might welcome such a thing. The hope that he will not have to endure any more losses, that perhaps he can sacrifice himself to save the students he has failed so miserably, pushes him forward. Soothes his anxiety.
And so does the familiar whisper of a voice against his ear one evening as they prepare their battle plans.
The invitation he offers in return which is accepted.
They have waited so long for him to be ready and even if it’s only a brief moment, they leap at the opportunity.
Their body is warm and familiar, their teeth just as demanding and sharp as they have ever been. And Kakashi gives himself over to them, seeks his pleasure only distantly. What he really needs, tonight of all nights, is someone to hold him afterward; guard him against the approaching dawn.
He doesn’t say this, of course. Instead, his hands are rough and his voice level when he says, “Just this once. Just in case this is the end.”
“Of course,” they say, “this can’t happen again.”
He groans, pushing forward, forcing them down onto the mattress beneath him. They welcome his weight with a chorus of sighs, pulling him close.
Kakashi knows they are right—they both are. There are so many reasons this is a mistake. He does not need another person relying on him, cannot stand the idea of letting yet another precious person down. But their voice makes him shiver, and the way their hands smooth over his body so lovingly stirs something primal in him; some need to be cared for. To love.
They try to carve their affection into his skin—like the bruises and lines left by their nails might be enough to make Kakashi finally accept that he is worthy of them. They tell him how good it feels to be with him again and every word is a sacred truth.
Kakashi smothers the instinct to be soft and buries himself in lies as well as their body, takes what he can while giving so little it is a miracle they can take from him at all.
They find plenty to take for themselves, even if Kakashi does not realize it. He is more open here than anywhere else, more readable. Every word he’s never uttered with his mouth is said with his body, read clearly in his eyes. But they know he is not ready for the things he can’t say, so they keep those secrets closely guarded, even from their originator.
And after, they kiss his temple and run their fingers through his hair. He tells them he is a curse and they laugh, the sound vibrating against Kakashi’s ear from somewhere deep in their chest.
“If that’s true, Kakashi, then I’m happy to be cursed.”
They shouldn’t be, but he’s glad.
Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust
The devil's after both of us
Oh, lay my curses out to rest
Make a mercy out of me
Kakashi reels in the weeks and months following the war. The revelation of Obito, the return of Sasuke, the near-death of Gai.
It’s all too much. He buries himself in rebuilding alliances, strengthening them. He does not want to be made Hokage, but he knows the other options are limited and some of them are offensive. Regardless, duty dictates he accept the position and so he does.
Besides, he thinks, it will give him purpose. And it is clear he cannot live without something like that. He knows without being a commander and a sensei over the preceding years, he likely would have returned to the room where his father died long ago to join him.
There is a familiar presence as he prepares for his inauguration. Almost imperceptible to anyone but him.
Always close, but never intruding. Ever supportive and available, but hardly seen or heard unless specifically requested.
The entire process of taking office is horrific—the false smiles and lavish dinners. It’s everything Kakashi has never wanted.
Once he’s officially Hokage, he buries himself in paperwork to avoid meeting dignitaries as often as possible. He works himself ragged just trying to keep his head above water. He can’t stop thinking it should be Obito, not him, wearing the robes.
He receives a visitor one evening, someone who knows that arriving unannounced on the wrong night will invite derision. But they do it anyway because it’s obvious how exhausted he is, how much he has denied himself the rest he needs.
The same person who watched Kakashi grind his teeth after Rin died watches him do the same beneath the heavy brim of the Rokudaime’s hat and they know they must intervene on his behalf.
“Hokage-sama?”
Their voice is like honey dripping into tea—smooth and sweet. When he looks up from the budget reports he’s been glaring at for half the day, Kakashi finds a familiar figure standing before his desk with takeout in hand.
“Did I request a meeting?” he asks, genuinely baffled and assuming he did but forgot about it.
They only let the apparent rebuff glance off one shoulder before they recover fully. “No, Sir, but I thought maybe you could use some company.”
It starts like that—begins again, really. They share late-night meals and swap conversation.
Slowly, Kakashi starts expecting their visits without feeling guilty for doing so.
And they, in turn, start looking forward to them without feeling selfish.
One night, they go home together. And then every night after, they do the same.
Kakashi watches his students forge their paths, find happiness in their families and fulfillment in their careers. He watches Sasuke make as many amends as he is able, and hopes that will be enough.
Gai recovers as well as he can and even a crippled leg cannot stop him from seeing only the best in the world around him; even the loss of Neji does not dull his enthusiasm for long. Because he has always known there are always other students to support, other friends in need of his boundless love.
Kakashi thinks for the first time maybe home does not have to be a place without ghosts. Maybe with enough help, he can learn to live amongst them.
Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust
Tell me I am good enough
Oh, lay my curses out to rest
Make a mercy out of…
Us.
It’s a strange word, still; heavy and awkward on Kakashi’s tongue when he says it. But slowly growing more familiar as he uses it in his daily life.
“I’ll pick up groceries for us on the way home.”
“Gai invited us to dinner.”
“Naruto has asked us to watch Himawari.”
Every time he says something mundane about the life they have managed to build together, his partner beams. They know it has been a difficult road; that life handed Kakashi a harsh path to follow.
That he has done so and chosen them to remain at his side as he continues to brush the cobwebs of his past away from his periphery, is a feat worthy of every accolade. Never something to be taken for granted.
The house Kakashi grew up in slowly fills with new memories. And though the ghosts never truly leave, they quiet themselves a little. Perhaps that is because Gai’s voice is loud enough to drown them out, or maybe because there seems to always be a shoulder next to Kakashi’s radiating warmth instead of a deathly chill.
Either way, the house changes and he is glad he’s given it another chance.
As they lie next to Kakashi, they turn to look at him in the deepening dark.
“Do you still feel like you’re cursed?” they ask.
Kakashi isn’t sure how to answer. Doesn’t know for certain whether the curse of him could ever really be lifted.
But they are here, beside him, so even if it’s still there, it feels a little lighter.
He kisses their temple the way they do for him when he wakes from a nightmare. He never answers aloud, but they understand what he wants them to. And they are happy to spend the rest of their days proving to Kakashi Hatake that he is not a cursed man.
#lemony scribbles#kakashi hatake#gn!reader#kakashi fanfiction#kakashi angst#third person pov#angst#angst with a happy ending#song fic#tw depression#tw suicide mention#tw death#tw suggestive#it's not really a reader insert but work with me here okay a;ldskfjasfd
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Law and Order thoughts for tonight
as per usual, here we go. honestly tonight, I was NOT into the other shows but svu did me good!
Okay, here we go.
Already completely forgot what happened on OC last week thank god for that recap LOL.
A (potentially) evil woman in an all white power suit!? Yes please
Okay, if she doesn’t turn out to be the mastermind I’m gonna be a little disappointed because she’s got balls and power and knows what she’s doing and he’s a little dweeb man…
Boss ass bitch is a boss ass bitch. Why do I always end up rooting for the bad guys wife? What is this show doing to me? Lolololol
“I just lost a UC last year” uh… Ayanna… are you two for two?
Oh… okay… we *were* talking about Gina despite that being in s1? Okay. What happened to Nova? Is she still alive?
Also this guy showed up in jail, started stirring the pot and got shanked, what did he expect?
Yeah pearl’s the one in charge and I’m so here for it. (also she definitely pegs him and you cannot tell me otherwise)
Oh but he’s got dirt on her? Great. Fuck this shit
Big shock. I’ve already completely stopped paying attention. Is it svu time yet??
The guy playing Russo has been on svu multiple times as multiple characters lololol. Including as Kim’s pimp in s17…
New guy’s hot… I’ll give him that LOL (is he though? Or is it just because he’s been on screen with stabler all episode?)
My stream cut out… wtf…. Im doing this legally…. LOL
Okay, got it back but now the subtitles aren’t working… *sigh*
Onto the mothership!!
Bro. this first suspect was on svu already… lort (I THINK he was the perp in the ep where the perp’s dad was olivia’s old partner/the guy from ER lol)
WHY is this girl wandering around in her underwear?? Like is this not a full fledged apartment building?
I do love Kate. Like, her and Samantha are the best part of this show. Would love to get to see Kate more in action, or have her pop up on svu to work with benson. Bad ass superior women. We stand.
Mehcad has a bomb fucking suit. Lookin bomb sir.
“I stopped listening when you said I was right” LOL. That’s a mood. Also I dare you say that to Melinda warner.
SAM FINALLY IN THE CORTROOM SOLO?!?! THANK FUCK (I know it’s just arraignment, but still…)
Everybody got blue suits this ep… im here for it.
God. This jerry guy is pissing me off. Then again, I always take the lawyers side, like 90% of the time because THAT is how things get solved/people get punished and justice is had like, ffs, how hard is it to do your job properly??
There’s 15 mins left in this ep…. I don’t think we’re going to get to court… hopefully SVU takes us to court tonight?? Cause I NEED SOME COURT ROOM IN MY LIFE.
Oh okay, here we are… but like… still.. not enough. We need more courtroom pls.
Oh good fucking GOD. WHY. I HATE THIS GUY. I get it, you want to make things right after fucking up the car search but THIS IS NOT THE WAY. Uuggghhhh. Is it svu time yet?!
“we” found it!?! NO SIR YOU!!!! Found it. Ffs. I hate it here.
He gained points by kicking him out I will not lie.
OKAY FUCKING FINLALY SVU TIME.
Grace looks amazing with the high pony, already into this.
I’M SORRY NO FUCKING STRAIGHT WOMAN HOLDS A CUP OF COFFEE LIKE THAT. MUNCY IS BI AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.
Omg all the wardrobe remarks are killing me. Does olivia not remember how she used to dress??
“do I look like the kind of girl who gets a pedicure?” I rest my case.
“oh yeah with which hand?” HAAA MUNCY GOING FOR THE KILLS HERE YESSS.
Yeah these two have major brother sister vibes PLEASE don’t force them together.
THAT BEING SAID… I do need the BOTH of them to *destroy* me and im not gonna complain if it’s at the same time…
Muncy really out here proving she’s fucking bomb
OHKAY GRACE PLEASE!! YOU ARE SITTING ON THAT DESK LIKE A FUCKING LESBIAN. I SWEAR TO GOD IF THEY TRY TO TELL ME SHE’S STRAIGHT!?? I WILL RIOOOOTTT
Imma have so fucking much to gif from this episode, jfc.
Okay they did a slightly better job of clearing this crime scene but its still not as good as Chicago.
YEEESSS WE STAN A SMOL KWEEN TAKING DOWN A GIANT PERP! FUCK!
Muncy’s getting sassed to wear a blazer meanwhile velasco’s wearing a dress shirt as a blazer… ffs
Jesus CHRIST amanda’s cheekbones…
Muncy back in a hoodie at the end of the episode lololol. Girl. You should’ve bought more than one blazer.
Olivia’s hair looks bomb!
Kelli… your side boob is showing…
Okay, that was a fucking good episode. I KNOW I was just complaining about the lack of court scenes, but this needed a full episode of just working the case/cases. And it gave us a little insight more into the new characters, gave us some personal lives, and the like. So… I’m here for it.
#law and order#law and order svu#law and order mothership#mothership#law and order organized crime#law and order spoilers#spoilers
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hihi! could I request a romantic matchup for 'The Arcana' (′▽`〃)?
i use they\them pronouns and I'm pan^^
my mbti is intp. I'm a very shy and reserved person in public, I try not to cause too much attention but also express myself openly. I suffer from anxiety ( I don't take meds or anything so I'm usually on edge) and overthink about people/other things. If you get to know me, im a huge extrovert and cheerful person. I love making jokes and laughing <3 I'm airheaded and clumsy, I hit my head or trip on air too much smh. I'm a very random person too, more eccentric for sure. I do the most offwall things because I'm bored ( like jumping off things or asking off-putting questions). I love talking! About anything I'm hyperfixated on atm ( as in old interests or new ones!) and I can go on for hours tbh. I'm pretty childish, but mature and mother like when I need to be. I love physical affection (even tho I say I hate it) anything like hugs is nice for me! I'm a caring person and mostly a listener. Very sassy (which people say it's "cute" from me) and sarcastic, with a whole lot of blunt. I'm a flirt too, but anything flirty from someone else gets me shy (like Julian lol). I get very bad mood swings and it is causing trouble for me to make friends or keep them, since I'll just isolate myself from them- I also have insecurities regarding my looks (particularly my body) so I get v sour when I think about that. Alot of the times you can tell when I'm in a mood bc I get quiet. ANyway I'm a lazy, procrastinater and plainn lmao.
my interests r playing the piano, reading/watching anime, romance novels (love triangles are my life), alternative/gothic fashion and music, hard rock and metal, stuffed animals and playing videogames!!
if it helps I pursued Julian to the very end ╰_╯!!!
hello! first of all, thank you sm for requesting, you are the first person that asked for a matchup so I hope I do it well. I don't want to leave you disappointed.
soo I ship you with Muriel!
Firstly, if anyone would understand your need to withdraw and not always be surrounded by people, it's Muriel. If you want to spend time alone with him, not doing anything in particular, he's there for it. If you don't even want to be with him and want to be left alone, he can understand that too. He won't get mad, offended, or sad, he'll just know you need some you time.
But in case you completely cut contact with him suddenly and isolate yourself, at first, even though he'd be worried, he'd think that maybe it's best he leaves you alone, and let you come back when you want to. But I feel like his worry would get the best of him and he would definitely check up on you. If you let him in, perfect, he now knows what he needs to do. If you don't he would truly not mind you coming back after a few days, weeks, or months and continuing where you left off.
With Muriel, there would be fewer reasons for you to overthink and panic about his true intentions or thoughts as it would be clear he sees you differently from other people. Although his ways of showing love wouldn't be the most open ways, definitely not always conventional they would be clear. If he loves you, you know it.
Also, I feel like both of you wouldn't like public displays of affection, but when you are inside, alone, you would get as much physical contact as needed. Both you nor Muriel aren't someone that would outwardly ask for cuddles, even though both would want it, so at least at the beginning of the relationship, you would be the one to initiate it.
Neither of you would get into a relationship without knowing someone well beforehand, so your extroverted side would definitely come out by the time you were dating, and he'd love and understand that one just as much as the introverted one.
The first time in what felt like a century since he laughed, it was on one of your jokes. Since then you probably would try to make him laugh as much as possible.
It's good that he has good reflexes as you said you were clumsy, but don't worry he's there to catch you every time you trip on air, or put a hand between your head and a cupboard, or guide you through a big crowd.
Your off-putting questions would at first surprise him and he'd never know how to answer them, but I feel like you'd always find a way to get the answer out of him. By the time you are deeper in the relationship he'd get used to them, and usually was able to see them coming and is more open with his answers. Though sometimes you'll still see him blush and take some time before spitting it out.
He'd also like the fact that you can talk for hours, and for all those hours he'd listen to you intently. Sometimes he's not sure if he's interesting enough for you as you have so many things you like and are good at whereas his past stopped him from that. But there you come in with your long talks teaching him about this and that and introducing him to so many wonders of the world. That would definitely be one of his favorite things about you.
Regarding your looks, he'd just never really think about it until you mention you are insecure about them. From the moment he met you he saw you as stunning and beautiful, so hearing that you don't like it came as quite a shock for him. He'll probably at first express his love for your body physically but he knows words are needed too, and he'd put in all the effort to find the right ones to explain to you just how gorgeous you are in his eyes. He knows that won't make your self-image go away so he'll make sure to compliment you more in the future, till you start believing him. You are the one that made him see good in himself so he'll make sure to at least return the favor.
He'd love you being blunt. He's not always good at interpreting the hidden meaning behind someone's words so just saying it how it is would make it a whole lot easier for him. And if you always say it like that it would also make it easier for him to express himself.
He is not good at flirting, and he'd get super shy every time you openly flirted with him. Before you dated he never knew if you were joking or if you'd actually want to have something with him, but either way it'd leave him a blushing mess.
And AAA I can already see you playing the piano and him sitting on the stool next to you, slightly leaning towards you, scared to do it fully so he doesn't interrupt you in any way and end the alluring music. He'd love it every time you play and once he's relaxed he'd often ask you to do it for him.
OMG, I CAN ALSO SEE YOU READING TO HIM. Imagine laying in bed, cuddled up, you with a book in one hand, the other hand in his hair, gently playing with it as you read to him. He's scared to fall asleep, so you don't think you bored him but once you tell him it's okay it'll be the best sleep he's ever had.
And as he knows you are reading romance books he might think you have big expectations as to what couples are supposed to do, or are simply more knowledgeable than him in this entire matter, so he'll consult one of your books and try doing something from it to win you over.
He'd adore the way you dress, and do your hair and make-up. And once he trusts you enough, which is pretty fast compared to how he feels about other people, he'd let you do his hair sometimes or put some makeup on him.
He'd make you stuffed animals and then like leave them somewhere in your house for you to find or like on your porch because he'd be too shy to give them to you in person, but you'd know whose it's from.
In any way, you'd make each other feel comfortable, safe, and cared for. The roles of the caregiver and care receiver would be equally divided and would switch.
Regarding you and Julian I can also see that, but to me personally, I see it more as friendship.
I can see you two dressing in romantic gothic fashion together. Being dramatic together. Having all sorts of fun. He'd definitely like listening to your stories and having a myriad of his own to share. Imagine introducing him to metal! That'd be super fun. He'd still flirt with you, but most of the time it would be jokingly, he'd just like to see you get all shy.
I really hope this is okay, once again thank you for requesting!
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Not to nitpick on a personal rant, or revive your previous annoyance, but you've mentioned that Anders refers to Hawke as "one bright light in Kirkwall", instead of "one bright light in [his life]", but it was actually both! Former being a response to Hawke agreeing to get Ser Alrik's ass (unromanced) and the later is from Questioning Beliefs from Act III (romanced). 1/2
It my native language, "the light of one's life" is a very popular pet name, when conveyed by a single word, that translates to "[my] sun". It's also considered to be one of the most endearing ones. I've never seen someone find it repulsive before, leave alone if that someone is your partner of 3 years (unless they simply just hate pet names). I'm bringing up this random funfact because I feel somewhat guilty for this entire fandom stir, as it was my ask that OP was responding to 😔😔😔. 2/2
OH YOU'RE RIGHT!!! thanks for the correction! i forgot about that particular instance in act 3; it's been a while since my da2 pts, im currently redoing an origins run for Mood for my wip lol
hopefully this doesnt stir more stuff bc im content to let it lie now (like im annoyed but ive already blocked op so whatever), but i'll place the next bits after a cut just in case
for context: when he calls you the one bright light in his life in act 3, it's after the quest, justice, where he's setting things up for act 3's finale. specifically, that quest starts with him giving his valuables away to varric -- a clear indication of his suicidality/expectation that he's going to die by the end of this. he tells you, on the friendship romance route, you are the most important thing in my life, but some things are more important than my life. the entire speech is him trying to explain himself in a roundabout way, so that when things play out, you don't blame yourself for his actions or for not stopping him, so that you don't think you didn't matter to him at all/never mattered, because you did. he tells you, "you are the one bright light in my life. never blame yourself for what will happen." after like. four years together. seven years of knowing each other. he thinks he's going to die -- and in some pts, DOES die -- and he tries to make sure you know that you were really, truly loved, that he meant everything he said to you about caring for you, that this relationship mattered to him. like... every time that quest plays, i have to pause and take a breather or else i'm going to cry. lit just thinking about it makes my heart hurt.
i genuinely can't see how it's manipulative, or toxic? is it just me??? this is literally his goodbye to you, unless you spare him in the end and he goes with you to the gallows. this is what he wants his last words to be to you; a reminder that he loves you and that you shouldn't blame yourself for his actions.
i have similar petnames in my mother tongue, too. and i agree re: it being the most loving term of endearment. (u should also. Drop the term of endearment. if u want. so we can collectively adopt it for a/nders.) but the way OP phrased it doesn't seem to indicate any issues with petnames but rather the fact he said it at all which is really...
it's just really... aggravating? weird? idk? to me that this person cherry-picked it as "he calls you the one bright light in his life which is soooo toxic"
........ like. the implication here is that it's toxic because he's depressed? and depressed, suicidal people who tell you that you're the only thing keeping them going is some kind of.. terrible, awful manipulation tactic and not a desperate cry for IMMEDIATE help? as though he's holding his mental state over you, threatening you with it in order to get compliance or something? like if this is the friendship romance route, it's so weird that the apparent critique here is that anders... expects you to care about him/and cares about you? they just like. ignored the entire context around both times. even in my first blind da2 pt (my first romance was bela), when i got to that scene, i IMMEDIATELY felt concern on his behalf not alarm that he was somehow manipulating me?
and most of the post is like that. just... cherry-picking random things and blowing them out of proportion/making it out to be something he's not. like the entire post was just... shitting on an/ders for being a romance option? like. if you hate all the romantic aspects of the andersmance, you literally have four whole other options for a romance -- and we already know exactly who op prefers because they can't seem to stop themselves from constantly comparing the two romances, or rather, specifically, using the apparent "toxicity" of h/anders to prop up fe/nhawke -- like. go romance someone else then lol
also. i dont think you should feel guilty for anything. its kinda obv from OP's post that they'd had this in their mind for a long while (even tho it's not a fresh take by any stretch of the imagination) bc i saw other posts on my dash that i rolled my eyes at from them w similar phrasing for how they believed h/anders was toxic [in comparison to f/enhawke] & the implication that h/anders was somehow inherently inferior to f/enhawke as a ship. so. ultimately, disappointed but not surprised. this was likely inevitable the moment their blog gained traction by interacting w proa/nders blogs & content lol
#op was literally like *asks a/nders out on a date* hm. toxic of you to say yes :/#JUST ROMANCE SOMEONE ELSE LOL#'i acknowledge jen hepler did some ableist shit when writing him but im also going to parrot that ableist shit and pretend it's acceptable#bc it comes from a ''fan'' this time'#well whatever i guess there's no accounting for taste#thanks for the ask. i have SOOO many feelings about anders and rewatching that scene gave me a cathartic cry after a shit day#HENNYWAYS. back to fic see u guys later#asks#vee.txt#suicide ment /#depression ment /#ive been bad abt tagging shit like this properly im so sorry
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happy new moon in pisces all you gay people in my phone 🫶 a couple weeks ago i posted about refreshing my money bowl for the new moon, and in that posted i hinted at something else i had done that day but wasn’t done yet. this is that thing! for the February full moon i thought it would be the perfect time to craft some love oil! i wasn’t totally set on the intention when i put it together initially, so i’ll showcase how i kinda set up a loophole or a ‘just-in-case’ element to this as well. read moreeeeee 👇
so first and foremost i wanna preface this by saying: this is a self-love spell. i really do not recommend doing love spells on other people without their consent. generally not a great idea and ultimately will probably just end in you being disappointed. of course there’s a difference between trying to attract someone unspecific/someone who has shown interest in you vs a spell with the intention of making someone you like develop feelings for you in return. dont do that last one. you will only end up hurting yourself. (not personally speaking from experience but. yknow. trying to affect the lives of others via witchcraft has gone terribly for me in the past so i cant imagine itd be much different here)
SO WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY!!!! here’s the breakdown:
everything used here is really basic kitchen ingredients. i used olive oil for the base, and for the herbs used three different kinds: lavender (love and serenity) chamomile (love, protection from negative energy) and cloves (passion, attraction)
first i cleanse the altar space and the container im going to use. after lighting the cherry blossom candle i burned for this spell (v romantic scent, also associated with rebirth and new relationships) i do this with lavender & rose incense that i lit via the candle flame. next i hold the herbs i want to use in my palm one by one and infuse them with my intention. i ask the lavender to help me appreciate and love myself, the chamomile to deflect any negativity i may face, and the cloves to draw in “whatever is meant to be”. this is what i meant by the loop-hole thing. cloves are great for manifesting & abundance but i only added a little bit, less than i usually would. i wasn’t sure whether or not to try and invoke the prospect of meeting someone new, hence ‘whatever is meant to be’
once all the herbs are in the jar i pour in the oil and seal it up! ready to soak up that full moon energy 👍 i set it up on my outside altar, surrounding it with pieces of driftwood rubbed in black salt. this is to protect any unwanted energies from leaking in. i place some amethyst and orange selenite with it, very good self-love crystals
that big stick with the rose quartz on the end is something i made that i call my mood rod. i use it to directly channel the moon’s energy into whatever im making (which is just moon water most of the time)
and after the night is over, i take it back inside and place it in the bathroom at my self love altar to steep for two weeks! whenever i think to i pick it up and swish the herbs around a little bit and sing a lil song about how im awesome and i love myself 🫶
fast forward to last night. its been steeping in all that self-love, its time to finalize my intentions with this spell! but i need a little bit of guidance before i can make a final decision here. whenever im unsure whether or not a spell is a good idea/how to go about it, its time to consult the tarot.
so with my intentions for this pell in mind, i ask the tarot if its wise to try and invoke the manifesting aspect of the cloves
pretty loud and clear! anyone who can read tarot will know this is a “dont do it” answer. without going too much into detail about the cards individually, the first two are of the wand arcana (associated with fire and therefore passion) and are being shown in the reversed position. the card in the middle represents speed, so to see it reversed in this case means the opposite (not every reversal has a completely opposite meaning to the original but in this case it does) and the last card is the major arcana justice, which is pretty self explanatory like idk if i can explain the concept of justice to you sorry. basically in layman’s terms what this is saying to me is to just be patient. fighting an uphill battle wont do me any good right now. just focus on yourself and in due time things will turn out in your favor! duly noted! those cloves are there just for me now. my cloves
setting her out under the new moon! this time ive adorned her with seashells (pisces energy) rose quartz (love) and unakite (self love, discipline, and in this case, bond severing)
the next day its time to strain the oil into an eyedropper!!!!!! an arduous task indeed
👆the face of intense concentration. its hard to do this without making a bit of a mess. hence the plate.
BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS HOW YOU MAKE SELF LOVE OIL BABY!!!!!!!! i’ll use this to annoint things in future love spells OR just as a topical when i need a confidence boost. its just straight olive oil so it double as a moisturizer Too 😋 thanks for reading!!!!! everyone love each other and most of all love urself!!!! 🫶
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Rules & General Guide (mobile)
this may be updated as needed; excluding when i just nitpick the wording/fix typos etc, i will announce the changes. thank you for reading through.
NOTE:
THE MUN AND THE MUSE ARE BOTH OVER THE AGE OF 21, AND REQUIRE THAT ONLY MUNS OF THE SAME MINIMUM AGE INTERACT. This rp blog will heavily pertain to darker themes, and may not be for the squeamish.
The Basics
Canons from fandoms and OCs are both welcome. I will be selective in following back, especially with highly active multimuse blogs. If I don’t follow back you’re more than free to send asks and respond to opens IC. I might continue our threads, but mutuals will be prioritized and threads with non-mutuals will be shorter.
Feel free to post starters or IC banter at me, toss something in my askbox, etc. whenever you like. Inform me if you do so just in case I miss it; and yes, by all means plot OOC with me! No need to ask permission or apologise to drop in my IMs, the door is open my friend.
I don’t expect people to match my post length. It can range from a sentence or two to a novella. If you’ve a preference in length, be it short or long, do let me know.
Courtesy, OOC Conflict, Etc.
If I decline something you suggest to me (such as a plot or a meme you send in, a relationship dynamic) and you nag me to change my mind or anything similar, I will not appreciate you for it. If you worry I’ve forgotten or lost interest in a thread, be kind and ask me. If it’s not fault of memory it is likely a simple lack of muse, or motivation.
Don’t godmod, don’t metagame, blah blah blah. Common courtesy and all that shit. No hostility or passive aggression, no drama. Be straightforward with me. If I’ve done something to upset you or you have genuine criticisms, I want to hear them crystal clear.
I will avoid engaging in callouts though will observe the situation for my own. I do not condone purity culture and consider it extremist. If you have any grievance with me, please just communicate with me. Be straightforward and actually talk with me through the problem. I’m tired.
Romance, N.S.F.W. Content
I am open to shipping, but I ask we discuss it OOC beforehand and write out the development IC. And know ahead of time that Revelation is not in a state of mind or circumstance to be a good/healthy partner. It will be a drag if you’re here for instant cuddles and steamy times. I like writing relationships that are complicated if not outright toxic, but I’m also soft for warm and fluffy romance as well. Variety is what makes the soup taste good. And patience.
Intimate relations will be awkward on Revelation’s end. Do not expect my explicit writing to be highly graphic, or to solely focus on said graphic content. I will still focus highly on the behaviour, psychology, and chemistry of/between muses.
Mun Activity, Disclaimers, Etc.
I will not always be active, due to IRL matters, chronic disabilities, and sometimes I’m just not in the mood for a certain muse or even rping in general. Feel free to remind me about our threads etc. but again please don’t pester or guilt me. It will not spark the muse back alight.
I welcome constructive criticism and advice, and am more than happy to offer my own if asked. To learn and to teach is a wonderful thing. Let’s tend one another’s creative gardens.
I am comfortable writing most any kind of serious/heavy concepts, any and all of which I try to approach with tact. I understand that you may have different limits and boundaries in this matter.
Note that any scenarios, and character mindset/beliefs/actions/etc. are meant (if meant for anything significant) to inquire and speculate the nature of humanity and the universe as a whole. I explore this far more deeply in my personal writing than roleplay because it is easier that way to be avoided by those who do not want to consume such stories. It may be delved into to some degree here of course, so again I warn that this muse may not be for hearts that feel the hurt strongly.
That’s a lot of serious blather, I swear on my LIFE that I love love love lighthearted scenarios and comedy as well! In fact I kind of thrive on blanketing all the doom and gloom with hilarity. Revelation might not be aware it’s comedy though.
Common Tags for TS ( will be “#[word] tw” i.e. “#bunnies tw”):
If you need anything not listed above tagged, please let me know. The list will be added to as needed. Bolded are topics that will be delved heavily into regardless of how often, italics mean it will/may be frequent. Both means Beware! Look Out, Oh Shit It’s Everywhere!!
Anonymous Asks
As with my feelings on conflict between muns please be courteous. If you are upset, angry, or hurt by anything I have done or said, I want to meet on equal ground, no weapons of the word needed from either party.
I do not want to turn off anon. I understand the fear of backlash without that privacy. If it is repeatedly proven that it cannot be used in a reasonable and peaceful manner, I will revoke that privilege. Please, I implore all, be communicative, not combative. We can be better at building than breaking.
If you have any questions, want to establish a plot or IC connections, my askbox and messages are open. 💙
I don’t require you send me like a cryptically-specific message to prove you read the rules, I trust you to locate and read through either the desktop or mobile version of this.
But you Should send me spiders.
For good luck.
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Tot Newbie: I hope you’re doing well and taking breathers too!
I finished the first episode and it was a learning curve (trying not to be too descriptive for anyone else who hasn’t began playing) in the first major battle.
I started episode 2 and got so far as picking up the next big case, but I’m trying to pace myself from clearing it in one day! (And resisting getting currency for the gacha with *my* currency. This and Genshin is testing my will.)
hi love 🥰 it makes me so happy getting your updates hehe & thank you so much for thinking of me!🥺💖
it took me a while to get used to the battle stuff & knowing when to level up what with the cards or the way the trails worked so i totally feel that. i tired to watch some videos/read online & it kinda helped ?? idk there wasn’t much out there anyways but after playing for a while i think it gets a lot easier & made more sense so hopefully it’ll be the same!💕
ITS A WHOLE MOOD, my wallet says pls no more but the top ups in the games tell me it’s okay dhdkdkf 😂 plus just like genshin im like always broke in game after leveling shit up lmaooo
TELL ME (only if you want ofc!) which male lead are you leaning towards 👀 im so curious hehe
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The world isn't meant for people like me. Even if I wanted to work and live I would have to get two jobs.
Im physically weak, and mentally weak. My body and soul are not capable of working in a society such as this. I will have to 'check' myself into a institution. Both options of institutions are scary. I was initially going to go down the homelessness route of just moving around but the food problem would end any shred of fuel in me.
I can't end my life due to the essence of my being being too important. Knowing I'm alive is enough for my family to not be in too emotional state to work, depressing that I even have to think of that.
I think I shouldn't exist. It tends to seem like I'm in a dark comedy show. Everything lines up for me to fail repeatedly. When I'm at my breaking point, and only then, does my life start to, at least, feel better, for an hour or so.
The world isn't meant for people like me, who are able to see, and objectively view it, for all it's 'qualities'. It just isn't a world most want to live in. We just convince ourselves, or others in some cases, that 'it' will get better, which in some essense, and depending on who you are, is true but that 'happiness' will eventually 'grow old'. Either ending or we become used to it. The physicality of the world and the mental pressure of the human psyche are two problems of the same coin.
In turn, this can mean helping one will help the other, which I believe others have realised this, knowingly or not. The only problem is the lack of 'togetherness' and motivation to work towards this goal. I don't intend this to be motivational as this goal can never be achieved, I'm simply using this post as a stress relief, as I miss another day of college.
Do not fret, I understand I am not helping myself in any way, except clearing and improving/reinforcing my views. I understand that the way I'm heading towards my 'future' is dangerous, for myself and others. I simply do not have enough 'courage' or 'motivation', in any sense, to change. I choose short-term answers to ease the stress of the long-term problems. If only I could be a robot, devoid of any emotion, so I can just work for someone without thinking. To just let go of my pride and self-preservation for someone who doesn't think of me as a person but as a collective of workers.
Shame is subjective, obviously, but I have a hard time trying to convince myself that I am not ashamed of myself. When I look back, I see very few things that can not be shameful, to my standards, and that are 'pure', and can be viewed as 'prideful'. I, nowadays, have a double meaning for doing a task. How will this benefit me? How will this affect me? It's tough trying to convince yourself that you are neutral, in whatever way you would like to be, in this case about shame. Kind of obvious, for if it was simple I would be a mindless robot, already working in some factory for twelve hours a day, whilst a sense of fading happiness shoots across my face when I realise I can take a fifteen minute break.
I was going to begin this next paragraph by saying 'I'm lost...', however I'm not. When you begin to adopt these 'depressive' views people tend to assume "You're wrong", without having a closer thought, and so people like me, who have these thoughts, tend to assume we are 'lost', in a mental philosophical way. We aren't. We just have views that put others in a bad mood, and so they refuse the idea that these views may be correct in some nature.
I want to be 'lost', however. If I am then my views will be shifted to something else more positive. I tend to make an attempt at convincing myself of this notion that I'm lost, so that I am capable of being 'saved' by guidance of some sort. But my thoughts and viewing are as clear as others.
We don't have a purpose, as far as I'm concerned. A 'greater' purpose, that extends past any 'human' goal, such as being a slave or servant of some kind. Instead, I believe we assess meanings within our own mind, whether being influenced or not. This way of philosophical thought of value assigning isn't 'harsh' or 'unfair' like others are. However when you take this way of thinking and you take a person like me who has low self-esteem and low self-preservation, as small as imaginable, this way of thought only worsens their conditions. To make sure you understand, yes, I am saying that seeing the world in a 'real' light is a mental health issue, which will cause others to hibernate.
I'm not young, nor am I old. I am only a teenager. I would say that my destructive nature can only last so long before a large event will cause me to make a decision which will alter my life in a positive light, a negative light or a combination of the two however there is a chance that this doesn't occur. That I continue to live my life in this, objectively terrible way. I don't know which option is scarier or that I would rather.
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what about,,,, the slashers reactions to getting properly hugged,,,, like no words, just pure affection and support,, like im here for u its okay to be vulnerable w/ me,,, if you didn't do it already obviously!!
The Slashers’ reacting to being properly hugged:
Thomas Hewitt
This man needs a hug! But he won’t feel comfortable initiating physical affection until you’re in a relationship and he knows for sure that you’re comfortable with it. Then, he’s vert affectionate.
This means that he needs affection but isn’t going to ask for it.
But you knew this because you knew him. So, you sighed before wrapping your arms around his waist, resting your head against his chest.
You just wanted to offer him some love and support, to let him know that you are there for him if he needs you.
Thomas was surprised by he absolutely melts and he certainly isn’t going to push you away.
He’ll wrap his arms around you, holding you securely but not too tightly against him.
He won’t pull away until you do.
If it happens when he’s more comfortable and confident in your relationship, he will lift you up and move to somewhere he can sit down, he’s probably been working all day and is tired. So, he can just hold you like his own teddy bear. Not that you mind at all.
He could just cry the longer you embrace him. He didn’t even realise how much he needed this until now. But now he’s going to need at least a hug a day, please just make this man feel loved and cared for!
Michael Myers
Michael, of course, hadn’t done anything to prompt your sudden act of affection. But you knew that he was a little more human that people tended to assume, and that meant that he needed affection too, he would just never ask for it.
So, you wrapped your arms around his waist and held yourself close to him. Holding yourself against his chest, you couldn’t get closer if you tried.
Your eyes were scrunched shut, unsure of how he would react to the embrace.
He did give you a small push away but you just tightened your hold. You just needed him to know how you felt, that you were there for him, and you hoped he understood what the gesture meant.
Michael isn’t likely to wrap his arms back around you but his mind is a mess (a rare thing for him) as he allowed you to hug him, his arms still by his sides.
He does understand your message...he’s just unsure of what to do with it.
Jason Voorhees
It doesn’t take you long to figure out that Jason needs a real good hug. He needs somebody to accept him, to love him, to be kind to him.
And what better way to tell him all of these things than a proper hug?
It’s when he comes back to the cabin, and you know what he’s been doing and you know that he doesn’t feel great about it, more because he feels like he’s dragged you into this.
You let him clean up and as soon as he enters the room you’re in again, you walked up to him and wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a silent hug.
You didn’t need words, you didn’t need to say anything. You hoped he would understand what you’re telling him. He did.
Your embrace caught him by surprise but he still carefully wrapped his arms around you, still so worried about hurting you.
The gesture was exactly what he needed in that moment, something that just reminded him of your love and acceptance.
He won’t pull away until you do, the two of you just standing in the middle of the room in an embrace. There is nowhere he would rather be.
Brahms Heelshire
This is exactly what he needs! And he knows that this is what he needs.
Ever since the two of you started knowingly living together, all he’s wanted is for you to show him genuine affection, more than a chaste kiss goodnight.
He wants you to love him and show him that love, he wants you to care for him and hold him.
You had just noticed that he seemed stressed lately, which is actually because he wants your attention but he attempting to be a gentleman about it, not pushing you too far too fast.
But you knew what he wanted, what he needed. So, you have it to him.
You had patted the seat beside you and, of course, he was quick to sit with you.
He just wasn’t expecting you to silently wrap your arms around him, pulling him into an embrace.
Brahms isn’t going to pass up the opportunity though! He will instantly wrap his arms around you even tighter that yours were, making himself comfortable.
Will bury his face into the crook of your neck or into your hair, unable to get too close to you. And don’t think you’re going anywhere anytime soon.
He always knew that he wanted/needed your affection, he just was aware of how much a simple hug would mean to him. You were the only person to accept him in so long, maybe you really would love him just like he needed.
Bo Sinclair
This man needs a proper hug (or any sort of affection) way more than he would ever let on, or even think he does.
When you first embrace him, arms wrapped securely around his waist, he faltered for a moment.
He’d probably pat you on the back or something before trying to pull away or push you away, assuming you just wanted a hug.
But you didn’t let go. So, he’s sigh and wrap his arms around you, expecting that to satisfy you.
But you still don’t let go...
The longer you hold on to him, the less he can pretend that he’s annoyed with it, the less he can pretend like he isn’t enjoying this.
For a moment he actually lets his walls down, tightening his hold slightly and resting his chin on top of your head, making you smile to yourself.
He’ll even close his eyes and just let it happen. Unless one of his brothers comes into the room, then he’s pushing you away, clearing his throat and pretending none of that happened. But you know.
Vincent Sinclair
It’s been a long day. Bo was in a bad mood and taking it out on him. You could see the draining effect it had on Vincent and you knew exactly what he needed, some love.
So, once the two of you were alone and you knew that you wouldn’t be disturbed, at least for a little while, you wrapped your arms around Vincent and just met him in a hug.
Vincent returned the embrace despite his surprise, never being one to refuse you, especially when it came to affection.
He had expected a quick hug but you just stayed put, your embrace making him feel warm in the best kind of way.
He isn’t going to argue with it, resting his masked cheek against the top of your head.
He’ll probably lose track of time, staying there like that for as long as you’d let him.
It’s like Bo had beat him down with his shouting and ranting, but you were building him right back up with your love and support.
Lester Sinclair
Lester had just returned home from visiting his brothers in town, and you know that he either had a pretty good time or it would have been pretty rough. They’re the usual two outcomes of his visits.
Apparently, this was a rough one. You could tell from the sigh he let out as he shut the door behind him.
You didn’t hesitate, walking up to him and wrapping your arms around him, quickly pulling him into a loving embrace.
He didn’t hesitate either, instantly wrapping his arms around you in return and burying his face in your hair.
He loves coming home to you but he loves this even more. You holding him like this, making him feel so welcome and loved, he would never get tired of this feeling.
After so long, will probably ask if the two of you could just cuddle on the couch for a while instead. Standing wasn’t very comfortable but he wasn’t ready to let go of you just yet.
Bubba Sawyer
Bubba is never ever going to turn down one of your hugs.
So when the two of you finally get some peace and quiet and you pull him into a loving embrace, he instantly lets out various happy babbles as he wraps his arms around you, holding you close to him.
He’ll happily stand there for as long as you let him, just holding you. But he would prefer to sit down with you, so I suggest guiding him over to the bed or a seat and then pulling him into a hug.
He just loves you so much and can’t get enough of your love.
Just something as simple as a hug makes Bubba melt, just the love and attention you are giving him.
Making him feel so close to you, like you’re right there for each other because you are.
Billy Lenz
As soon as you guide him into a hug (guide, don’t pull), he will latch onto you and refuse to let you go.
God, when was the last time he had a hug? And he’s never had one this good!
It does make him a little emotional. You’re not letting go of him but he doesn’t feel trapped, he doesn’t want you to let him go. In your embrace he feels so supported, so accepted, so loved. He can’t get enough!
He didn’t think he needed this so much, he never thought that something as simple as a hug could make him feel so good.
He’ll nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, mumbling so quietly that you can’t understand what he’s saying. But, just know, that for once it’s not anything lewd.
An extended hug isn’t enough though. The two of you are probably going to end up cuddling on the couch or bed for a little while afterwards.
Just hold him...please.
Asa Emory (The Collector)
You have to catch him by surprise and that is very difficult to do. Just when he isn’t expecting it.
Maybe he’s just come back from the hotel, expecting you to be asleep.
But as he’s quietly undressing to join you in bed, you get up without him hearing and pad over to him.
You wrap your arms from him from behind. He’ll let out a small sigh, asking why you’re awake, but you just shrug and tell him you’re glad he’s home.
He’ll turn around and wrap his arms around you but is a little confused when you don’t pull away. At first he thinks you might be upset about something but that isn’t the case...whatever it is, he’s got nothing else to do.
So he’ll hold you for a little while, slowly coming to terms with how nice this actually feels.
But you both need some sleep, so he’ll mumble something about going to bed. And if you don’t comply, he’ll just pick you up and carry you over to the bed anyway.
Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)
He’s just come back from a ‘business trip’, he always comes back in a good mood from this sort of thing but he tired from travelling.
You had greeted him at the door but saw it on him, he was tired.
So you just wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him, hadn’t even thought anything of it at the time.
The embrace was tight, a welcome home but also some reassurance that everything was alright and he was home now.
He wouldn’t turn down a hug, so he wrapped his arms around you, a hand holding the back of your head as if cradling you to his chest.
When you don’t pull away, neither does he.
He loves what he does and if glad you accept him for it. But the travelling can be tiring and he does find himself missing you.
So he lets out a silent sigh before lifting you up into his arms, making you smile as he carries you up to the bedroom. It’s good to be home. He might have to start taking you with him.
Otis Driftwood
Get him when he’s tired. It’s the best chance you have for a hug to just stay a hug, and for him to accept it without fight or question.
When he’s tired and alone in his room, join him. Crawl up beside him, wrap your arms around him and just hug him.
He’ll raise an eyebrow at you, confused and curious, but he’s not going to stop you.
When he’s tired like this, he’s more likely to let those softer, human, emotions show.
He’ll wrap an arm around you and hold you against him.
But the longer you just stay there, the more he relaxes and starts to make himself more comfortable.
You make him relax, and he may never understand why.
Don’t comment on it when he lets out a sigh, wrapping his other arm around you as well as he shifts, nuzzling his face into your hair. Don’t comment on it, just smile and let it happen.
Baby Firefly
You’re pretty sure Baby never stops, almost constantly upbeat and full of energy.
So if you were to hug her, she would just eagerly hug you back, smiling widely before slipping from your grasp to drag you away somewhere.
Get her when she’s angry with another member of the family, when she’s pouting or ranting about them.
Just pull her into a loving embrace. She’ll continue to complain but will still return your hug.
She’ll slowly calm down and relax in your hold, her embrace becoming secure but soft, affectionate.
You have a good effect on her, she just can’t be mad when you’re around and she knows it.
She isn’t quick to break the embrace now, just holding you makes her feel better so that’s what she’s going to do.
Yautja (Predator)
Probably the only one in this list who doesn’t need a hug in some way or another.
But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t enjoy it! He definitely does!
At first he’s a little taken back when you wrap your arms around him, head resting against his torso.
But he certainly isn’t opposed to this.
He’ll return your embrace, even starting to purr, which is always a good sign. He’ll probably start to stroke your hair as well.
Now that he’s gotten a taste of the affection that humans likes to give ad receive, he doesn’t think he could ever go back to how things used to be for him.
What would he do without all your little kisses, your hugs, your gentle touches. He couldn’t be without them now!
#thomas hewitt x reader#michael myers x reader#jason voorhees x reader#brahms heelsire x reader#bo sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair x reader#lester sinclair x reader#bubba sawyer x reader#billy lenz x reader#otis driftwood x reader#baby firefly x reader#yautja x reader#predator x reader#slashers x reader#slashers#slasher#my writing#asa emory x reader#the collector x reader#jesse cromeans x reader#chromeskull x reader#slasher x reader
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