#in his pockets
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Alright but Blanc keeps putting little things in his pockets because “oh this might be useful later” and Philip is beyond exasperated with his husband collecting the stupidest shit because “you never know when you need a broken watch you found under a bench Philip” and Philip is tearing his hair out because he’s the one emptying Blanc’s pockets on laundry day and throwing everything away like “jesus Blanc this used to be endearing but you’re literally a fucking crow”
#benoit blanc#benoit blanc/phillip#glass onion#knives out#the glass onion#Blanc ran around the glass onion for half the movie with hot sauce and pure hydrogen#in his pockets
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"all men are evil" is radfem/terf rhetoric, but clarifying "all cis men" because you want to signal that you're not transphobic doesn't work because it's still deeply rooted in radfem beliefs. It's saying you believe there's something inherently evil in being born/assigned "male", and you carry it over in how you treat ppl who transition in or out of that gender. "All cis men are evil", is gender essentialist and you can't get around that.
Fucking tired of ppl who think their terf soundbites with a fresh coat of paint are sooo progressive
#grumble grumble#refollowed someone who always gets lauded as such a great activist hoping hed moved past his bullshit#but nope hes still insufferable in his weird pocket gender essentialist way#unfortunately like so many ppl are
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Tonight my partner got pulled over. And let me walk you through this tale!
First, meet my partner. E (not his name). He’s got three adorable face tattoos, and is 5 foot 4 inches tall. He’s got a buzz cut that has melty smiley faces dyed/painted on. 14 visible face piercings, and countless other visible tattoos. His jacket matches his hair perfectly, and he’s got a Gomez adams played by Raul Julia mustache.
He’s driving the speed limit, after a long day of work. He gets pulled over.
Officer approaches. Maybe they’re Latino? E described them as attractive, slicked back high Ponty Tail. Feminine enough to call E hun and it seem nice not weird.
Officer points out expired registration, E explains financial hardship. Head of a household of 4 (me and the 3 cats, these details he left out to the officer). Officer says she smells… marijuana. She says she sees green flecks in the car, and asks E if he’s ever smoked before?
What? Weed? Never officer, E says. “No, I’ve never smoked. And don’t smoke marijuana in my car.”
E is asked to leave the car, and about weapons. E hands over some rainbow brass knuckles, a fancy pocket knife, and a workman’s Home Depot pocket knife. Explains there’s his kitchen knives from work in the front (he’s a chef in the city).
Officer searches the car and Dearest Readers I share now a photo of what this officer theoretically found in the car (this is a staged photo of CBD yes sir legal CBD)
Photo taken 2003 yes sir look at that Patina or whatever
Officer gives a look at E. A good long look at this man before her with red green and yellow smiley face hair.
“Go home, clean your car.”
This state is not a legal state
Readers I hope you all find this kind of luck on the roads this evening, and clean your car.
#story time#police#pulled over#e said in response to “clean your car#it’s a federal offense not to clean your car?#officers said it CAN be with strong emphasis#e took 3 hours later to get the point#the officer also saw the mascara#and crystals#and three bic lighters#in his pockets#and a cinnamon stick
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off in some alternative universe theres a cosmic office comedy with some romantic undertones taking place
#adventure time#fionna and cake#prismo the wishmaster#scarab the god auditor#cosmic owl#prohibitedwish#cosmic owl is the type 2 shove handfulls of cutlery and sauce packets in his pockets at a restaurant just so he doesnt have to buy any#cosmic diner my beloved#cosmic office romcom#this is such a nothing au but it means the world to me#theyre all late 30s newly employed and overworked at their job but they manage
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spideypool but it's a comedy of errors
#peter parker#wade wilson#spider-man#deadpool#spideypool#peter is going to have a long hard look at himself in the mirror about his spidey sense not triggering#(you know what else is long and hard—)#wade: see that metro bus over there?#peter: yeah....#wade: i save. you film#peter: save it from wh—#wade pulling explosives out of his pockets: grab your camera babe we're on a time crunch here#who will write this for me#mine
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i love him
#fanart#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#gojo buys at his flower/bakery shop after volleyball practice#geto playing hard to get so he can empty gojo's pockets bc good for business
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"Well, Dean always carries a blade, why don't we have Cas come take the blade out of my pocket and he can use it and we go from there?"
~Jensen Ackles
I can't believe we got THIS scene because Jensen Ross Ackles in his infinite wisdom was like: of course Dean would have a knife in his ass pocket. And OF COURSE Cas would know about the knife in Dean's ass pocket,
#fellas is it gay to know your buddie carries a knife in his ass pocket????#normal show for normal people#spn 15x18#destiel#supernatural#spn#jensen ackles
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he's both the prettiest and the frenchest he's ever been and i don't know if i want to kiss him or slap him or look like him
#he's the literal definition of pretty boy#wish i looked like that ngl#i love his red outfit honestly he's so#*screams* *goes insane*#i want to put him in my pocket#one piece#black leg sanji#one piece film red
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sorry
#i'm going to fail my molecular bio exams for this#baldur's gate 3#bg3#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#astarion#astarion ancunin#my art#bloodweave#bg3 fanart#oh damnit i promise that's gale's suit pocket that's opened bcs of the creasing. not his#one of the most embarrassing things i've drawn but drawing comics gives me such a sense of satisfaction
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The farmer I buy hay (and some firewood) from hasn't had time for deliveries yet, and he texted me yesterday to ask what I needed most urgently, hay or wood. Selflessly, I said hay.
That /is/ the gate for hay deliveries! Great memory, Pirlouit. I see what are the important spots in your mental map.
I hope you realise that I'm sacrificing myself for you. By telling our neighbour to prioritise your food over my comfort.
But even if I didn't, I would prioritise you and your hay because I love you. I would freeze to death to ensure you are fed
Would you share your hay with me, though?
I see.
#crawling along#i think of gollum's ''what has it got in its pocketses?'' every time pirlouit tries to raid my pockets with mounting frustration#your big nose doesn't fit in my coat pockets!! stop trying#and you don't even like mints#i tried to give him one once for a taste and it was too minty for him and he spent 30s panting with his mouth wide open#like my baby cousin when she stayed over and forgot her kid toothpaste and had to use my grown-up one#same look of betrayal
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People say Jason was being over dramatic becoming Red Hood instead of just going home to Gotham after coming back to life but honestly if Talia had even one recording of any of the unhinged insults Bruce canonically said about Jason while he was dead I think it becomes completely understandable if not a mild reaction
#jason todd#red hood#Batman#bruce wayne#slandering Jason was his only emotional for a decade#not even a joke#if I had a dime for every time Bruce said I love you to Jason in a issue I’d have ten cents#but if I had a dime for every time Bruce said something out of pocket about his dead son I could make a car payment
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Bro is GORGEOUS 👹
gnawing on the bars of my enclosure
#Im going to fold him and put him in my pocket#Im going to gnaw on his leg like a feral cat#Transformers one#Transformers#Megatron#transformers g1#tf g1
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downtime 🩵
#cod#call of duty#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soapghost#my art#simon may or may not be debating if he can smuggle a pigeon into his pocket#and johnny's currently roughdrafting their wedding vows on the spot#no I will not be accepting criticism on simon's choice of footwear ✋
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I think people are not understanding that to get Astarion’s approval up you don’t have to be mean you just have to be chaotic. The man is a toddler let loose off his leash for the first time in 200 years he doesn’t care about being mean he cares about being funny
#like yeah he would approve if you punched a child in act 1 but not because its mean because its so out of pocket#he gets to make his own choices for the first time he can remember and he’s using that freedom to start a career as a slapstick comedian#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#astarion
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headcanon that percy and annabeth routinely swap weapons in battle. it's not a concious feat. it's just that they consider themselves a single unit when fighting for their lives. so their partner's weapon is also their weapon.
#sometimes riptide appears in annabeth pocket by mistake#so when percy loses his pen#he just has to locate annabeth to get it back#also#im just envisioning these two fight an enormous monster and their weapon gets flung from their hands#so they just pick up the other's weapon and don't notice it until they kill the monster together#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#percabeth headcanon#percabeth fluff#percabeth being the cutest couple to ever not exist#don't fuck with percabeth
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⊹ animation (logo) headers ɞ..
like or reblog if you save
don't repost
#headers#header#simples#headers simples#totally spies#winx#polly pocket#hi hi puffy amiyumi#powerpuff girls#pucca#hello kitty#bratz#namaria
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