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thinkingjasico · 1 year

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what if when jason woke up on the bus with piper and leo the only memory he had was the name nico di angelo?

The first and second part of this post rewriting The Lost Hero, Son of Neptune, Mark of Athena and House of Hades are in this link <3

Making BoO in a new post bc that one was already a bit long. So shall we finally finish this rewriting HoH with BoO? Walk with me...

Nico has gone with Reyna and Coach Hedge to take the Athena Parthenos, and Jason is on the ship with the others nearing the end of the mission.

For jasico shippers BoO already starts with the iconic "gods...nico" which is already so gay that I don't even need to change it.

The book starts with Jason’s POV extremely worried about Nico and we're going to pretend here that his arc with his mother ended in a better way. Maybe with Jason pretending to accept her proposal and staying in the Odysseus' Palace with his mother to see what else he can find out about Gaia's plans. Piper and Annabeth manage to get away and get to the ship. The rest of the crew gets a little pissed at Jason and wants to leave, but Piper and Leo explain to everyone that they have to stay and wait, that Jason must have a plan and must not have really allied with Gaia. So Jason gets all the information they need and thinks he's gonna have to fly or something like that until he finds the ship because he thinks they must have gone and left him behind (the abandonment complex this boy has...) and then Jason manages to scape, but Michael Varus, Beryl and other soldiers intercept him, Jason denies his mother that same way but makes a whole speech, he takes the stab but manages to fly, almost falling, and get out of there. He thinks he won't be able to fly for much longer to find the Argo II and will fall into the sea and die. At that moment he sees the ship in the distance and thinks that it's the first time that people have not given up on him and abandoned him. When he arrives everyone helps him and Jason, almost fainting, says he doesn't believe they stayed there at the risk of being attacked and Hazel, who doubted Jason the most, says that of course they did because they are like a family now and you cant leave your family behind.

Meanwhile, Nico is starting to feel weak from the shadow travel. Little by little he gets closer to Reyna and trusts her more. Nico remembers how Jason always said that when Nico felt ready to open up to friendships he would see how many people would like to get to know him better, not just Jason and Hazel. Nico found it hard to believe because he'd had a small crush on Percy when he was younger, which he saw would come to nothing when he found out Percy liked Annabeth, and for a long time Nico thought he wasn't worthy of love at all and felt guilty about his feelings for boys. His mother died, his sister too, his first crush not only didn't feel the same way, but he often actually seemed to hate Nico… and then when Nico allowed himself to start believing he could be loved by Hazel and Jason, if he actually felt the same for Nico—Jason was taken and placed as someone else's boyfriend. But little by little Nico begins to see that Reyna, like his sisters and Jason, doesn't expect anything from him. She doesn't want anything from him, except his friendship.

Gradually Nico talks a little with Reyna about Jason, but he talks about it like they're just friends and he's worried about Jason because he's feeling something strange. Reyna obviously realizes that it's not just friendship, as she always suspected, and tells Nico to try to get in touch with Jason. So Nico manipulates his dreams to get into Jason's. It's difficult because Jason doesn't have the preparation or powers to control his own dreams. But when entering Jason's dreams, Nico can feel that he is dying. Nico wakes up startled but before he can tell Reyna that they need to IM the Argo II— they are attacked.

Jason feels something strange when he wakes up, almost as if he's had a vivid dream—but stranger. He wakes up hearing Nico's voice, but he's not there. Feeling his presence and hearing his footsteps... but Nico must already be on the other side of the continent about to make the jump across the Atlantic. Jason feels the ship rocking a lot and goes to the deck. He offers to go down with Percy and that's when Jason gets better and makes the promise of the shrines to the gods.

Nico is in Portugal, very weak and almost dying, when he sees his father and Hades says the "I want you to be an exception" (I have a post about this line here 🥺) and Nico decides to IM Jason.

He's in the infirmary tending to some injuries with Piper when Nico appears nearby. Piper is startled and at least three light bulbs explode when Jason sees Nico there.

"Sorry I didn't mean to appear out of the blue but this thing doesn't have a ringtone or anything." Nico is a little embarrassed because Jason had his shirt up for Piper to bandage his abdomen. Jason drops his shirt in the same second.

"No, dont worry about it." He gets closer to the IM. "Did something happen? Are you okay? Reyna? Coach?"

Nico gives a small smile because that is how Jason is. He is the one in the infirmary tending to injuries, and Nico felt he was on the verge of death— but there he is worried about others.

"We are all fine."

"You don't look fine." Nico really is very thin, sunken-eyed and clearly weak.

"Look who's talking. I felt a strange thing as if you were dying, but I guess at least that didn't happen, right?"

Jason smiles. "No. I'm very much alive."

"That's great." Nico wants to look at him whole, ask more, tell about his conversation with his father, tell him about getting closer to Reyna. Tell Jason how every time he walks into the void filled with emptiness and he has to focus on the next destination, his mind betrays him and thinks about Jason and he almost ends up on the Argo II again with Reyna, Hedge and the Athena Parthenos in Jason's room. And Jason looks at him like he also has a million things to say.

Piper clears her throat and they both snap out of their trance and look at her. "I think your bandage is fine for now, Jason." She gathers a few things and throws them away. "I'll give you a second. Nico, please say hi to Reyna for me." And she leaves.

Jason turns back to Nico rather embarrassed.

"I've been thinking—"

"I wanted to know if—"

They speak at the same time.

Jason chuckles. "You go first."

Nico nods and tries to muster up the courage but can't look at Jason, so he looks down. "I've been thinking about not going to the Underworld if this war ends well for us."

"Really?!" Nico looks up and Jason has wide eyes and a bright smile.

"Really." Nico tries not to smile too, and he doesn't know why it's so hard to control his smile every time he's with Jason even if it's an IM being countries away from each other. But whenever he sees him, the skeleton butterflies in Nico's stomach want to come back to life. It's really irritating.

"And what made you change your mind?" Jason asks and Nico notice he's trying his best to control his smile. "If I may ask."

Nico shakes his head and looks away for a second to control his involuntary blushing. "Many things." Nico turns back to Jason. "Let's say one day a very annoyingly smart boy told me that it's possible to choose your family and have people in your life who care about you and love you for who you are and who make you want to choose to live and fight for those people. And I've been starting to think this might be true."

Jason's eyes that had previously been a little gray from the possible pain of his injuries, gleamed again as Nico saw it happen every time they were together. "I'm glad to hear that. I wonder if this smart boy is among those people."

Nico rolls his eyes but a small smile tugs at the tip of his lips. "Annoyingly smart, don't forget."

Jason nods, feigning seriousness. "Of course."

Nico shakes his head and hears Reyna calling to him in the distance. He looks for where her voice is coming from and sees that Reyna and Hedge are running to him.

"Holy crap." Nico says scared.

"Nico what..." Jason asks worriedly.

Nico doesn't even turn to him. "I have to go." Nico runs his hand over the message and it disappears.

At that moment they are attacked by the werewolves and Nico gets seriously injured. They make the next jump to escape and meet with the Hunters and Amazons (which means, Thalia). We're in Reyna's POV so she's shocked that Thalia is Jason's sister and wonders how Nico will react. Nico wakes up with the note that the hunters took Reyna and he gets mad. He goes out and buys the classic palm tree shirt and then meets Thalia briefly. She says that Reyna didn't know much about how Jason is but as Nico stayed longer on the ship she asks him if he doesn't know anything else, Nico is kind of embarrassed and Thalia doesn't understand why, so he just says that Jason was injured but that he seems to be recovering well. Nico tells Thalia about his theory about the end of the prophecy and Thalia gets serious and thoughtful, and says she hopes Nico is wrong, but they both know he's not.

With great difficulty they make the next jump and Nico soon finds Bryce.

On Jason's side and the Argo II, they are sure they need the doctor's cure or Jason or Leo will die at the end of the prophecy. Jason thinks it's okay if he has to die, as long as he at least gets to see Nico one last time, if only to tell him not to give up on his life and not go to the Underworld.

After killing Bryce in the most sinister way possible, Nico passes out and is unconscious for days. When he wakes up he tells Reyna and Hedge everything. Everything about him, about Jason... He can't look at them and really want to cry.

"It would be weird being two guys together. But it makes it even worse that Jason is…well, Jason, and I am me."

"Kid, I don't understand." The coach says. "You demigods complicate things too much. What would be wrong with two men together? It's natural for me as men and women, satyrs and nymphs…" Nico looks at them a little confused but hopeful. Reyna nods with a smile and Nico with teary eyes smiles weakly. "And another thing, the Grace boy is quite annoying but he's a good figther, you're the same. If he likes you and you like him, I don't know what could stop you." Nico and Reyna laugh a little.

Coach says he'll get things ready for them to go and Reyna stays behind to talk to Nico.

Nico looks at her embarrassed. "I know you liked him, I don't want to..."

Reyna holds up a hand, silencing Nico. "Nico I didn't like Jason— I liked the idea of him. The son of Jupiter, praetor by my side, very powerful demigod and a soldier like no other. I thought I needed to be with a boy like that, and I don't know, maybe I was wrong about that in many ways." Nico frowns in confusion and Reyna smiles. "You trusted me, and I'm grateful for that. After this madness is over and I can think about myself instead of a war, maybe I can understand what it was I had for Percy and Jason, and why that happened. Then I'll talk to you about it. But just know that you and Jason are two of the demigods who most deserve a happy life after all you've been through." She places her hand on Nico's shoulder and he was still processing the 'Percy' part of what she said. "We can die at any moment, you more than anyone knows that— Will you really let fear stop you from being happy and making him happy?"

Back to Jason.

They got the doctor's cure and are reaching Athens. Jason and Hazel tried to contact Nico again but couldn't, and the two are anxious and wondering if Nico died in that attack. Hazel says he's not dead, that she would know if he was, but they are still afraid.

Hazel and Jason are on the deck waiting for the others to finish putting on their armor. They are looking at the blue sea and Athens approaching at every second.

"I wish I had spoken to him one more time." Hazel says and Jason looks at her. "In case we don't make it out of here."

"We're going to get out of here. This is just the beginning of the battle, we still have Gaia ahead of us." Hazel nods and looks at him very seriously.

"I know you guys don't talk about it with others. But back at Camp Jupiter I knew you guys spent all day together while I did my training." Jason’s eyes wide a little. "Every night I saw Nico arrive at the barracks with a silly smile on his face that didn't match his sadness and distance of the rest of the time. He didn't even have to tell me much other than silence when I asked if he liked you for me to understand everything."

Jason couldn't help but smile a little. "I've been remembering more and more things. Like coming home with a silly smile too." Hazel chuckles but Jason's smile fades little.

"What is it?"

Jason shakes his head. "I don't know. It's weird that I didn't have my memories altered to think that all of this happened between Piper and I, like it was for her. And I feel guilty about that. I know it's crazy—"

"Jason you shouldn't feel guilty about losing your memories but not having false memories of her. It was bad enough for you to forget your life and who you are. It's Juno's fault that this happened to you guys, not yours."

"I know, it's just..." Jason lets out a weary breath and looks back at Piper helping Annabeth with her armor. "I know it was hard for her, and I can't help but blame myself. And at the same time I don't understand why Juno tortured her with these false memories and left Nico's name in my head and didn't put Piper in my memories of him." He looks at Hazel who seems to be paying close attention to the matter.

"Mist is complicated Jason. Maybe even being a goddess Juno didn't have full mastery of it."

Jason nods thoughtfully and looks away and now Athens is even closer. Jason’s heart races. "Hazel, please promise me something."

She nods. "Sure, what is it?"

Jason looks at her. "Maybe at the end of the mission I will die—" Hazel opens her mouth to speak but Jason continues. "I know we have the cure, but I've been thinking... We only have one cure, what if Leo and I die? I'd rather you use the cure on him." Hazel frowns. "And if that happens, I just want you to please promise me that you'll be with Nico, that even though he's on one side of the country at Camp Half-Blood and you're on the other at Camp Jupiter, that you'll be family to each other, and that he won't be alone."

Hazel smiles and takes his hands. "Nico may be on the other side of the planet and I will never abandon him. And you will not die, you'll also be with him and we'll all be a family." Jason looks down feeling his chest tighten. Nico could be in danger right now, maybe the seven won't even make it back to Camp Half-Blood no matter how much Jason tells Hazel they are. Maybe when Jason arrives Nico will be dead, maybe Jason will die in the end... it's a one in a million chance that this will have a happy ending.

Nico arrives at the camp and finds Will, Lou and Cecil. They go together to try to infiltrate the Roman army. And Nico realizes how little are their chances to survive this war.

The Argo II reach Athens and they fight the Giants alongside the gods. In the end Zeus blames Hera and Apollo, and Jason defends Apollo. They are heading towards the ship but Jason stops for a second beside Hera while Leo and the others prepare the ship. Hera looks confused by Jason's approach, but happy that he wants to talk to her after all.

"Weird that you being the goddess of marriage broke so many hearts with this plan of yours." Hera's smile disappears instantly.

"Jason..."

"With all due respect my lady, but I don't want to hear any excuses. The only thing I want to know is why did you leave him in my head? Why did you leave Nico's name and his presence in the memories I'd forgotten?"

Hera looks at him confused. "Jason I didn’t let him in your head." She rolls her eyes and huffs. "My original idea was for you to have your memories altered for the Aphodite's daughter and for Percy to have his memories altered for the praetor at Camp Jupiter. It was my chance to ruin the happiness of the two demigods I detest the most, Annabeth Chase and Nico di Angelo. But... I was doing it all alone, hidden, and in such a hurry... So whatever it was, you two managed not to let your memories be altered and remembered them."

Jason was too stunned to notice Aphrodite nearby until she giggled and Hera turned to her. "'Whatever it was' of course. Meddle in these matters and hurt my daughter... You have a lot more to worry about now than with Zeus."

Jason feels the fight coming in the air and leaves to join the others with his head spinning.

It wasn't Hera, it was him. All this time Jason was feeling weak and vulnerable without his memories, but he wasn't weak. Jason managed to dodge a goddess messing with his mind.

Everyone gathered on the deck with Leo yelling for them to hold on tight. Jason saw his dad give the ship a slap. But Jason’s mind and heart were racing faster than the Argo II flying across europe and the Atlantic.

The Argo II arrives at the camp. The battle is insane on the ground and Leo yells for everyone to leave while the ship is on fire, Jason doesn't want to leave him but Leo tells him to go with Piper. None of them are happy to leave Leo behind but Jason grabs Piper and flies off into battle.

Here I don't even need to change the canon because, again, it was already very gay. "Jason’s heart lifted when he saw Nico di Angelo on the front lines with the Greeks, slashing his way through a crowd of two-headed men."

Jason goes down with Piper and Reyna goes to them and when Piper goes out with Reyna, Nico sees Jason and the world feels like slow motion. Nico runs towards him killing monsters along the way in a matter of seconds. Jason's heart will come out of his mouth, he's sure of it. All around him the world is ending and he can't seem to get rid the hum of his pounding pulse in his ear. Nico comes to him and Jason opens his mouth to say something— but Nico kisses him. Jason feels the heat of battle all around him, but it's nothing compared to his body on fire. A very loud thunder rumbles through the sky as Jason pulls Nico close to kiss him back "To storm or fire, the world must fall" and that was the storm. It had to be, because Jason felt he could decimate the world if he felt Nico's lips on his a second longer or if he pulled away.

Nico pulls back a few inches, breathing hard and his face is grimy from the battle.

"You're wearing glasses." Is the first thing he says and it makes Jason smile like an idiot.

"Nice shirt." Jason says and Nico smiles wryly as Jason remembers he loves to see.

Before they can have a conversation, battle calls out to them and they are attacked.

They pull back fighting the monsters. "Where are the others?" Nico asks.

"Everyone's here, just Leo..." Jason swipes at a monster that turns to dust and looks away at the sky. The ship is falling like a fireball.

"Shit." Nico says. "He'll survive, but just in case— for Leo!"

"For Leo!" Jason says and they find themselves fighting back to back against Gaia's army (this art has my heart already). And Jason's brain can assimilate his fight reflexes and still feel his lips tingling and Nico's taste in his mouth. At the same time that he is worried for his life and worried about his friends, Jason feels that his body is going to explode with happiness. The insane mixture of complex and intense feelings mixing like cosmic dust in a nebula getting so absurdly dense that it needs to become a star.

"Nico!" They listen and turn around. Will from cabin 7 is coming over there. He says something to Nico that Jason can't hear but Nico looks worried.

Nico nods to Will and turns to Jason. "I have to go." Jason is confused but nods. Nico pulls Jason down by his shirt and presses their lips together hard and fast. "Don't die." He says simply and Jason can't come up with anything smart enough to answer other than a simple,

"Yes sir."

Nico must have thought Jason is silly as usual, because he smiled and ran off in his red palm tree shirt.

The rest of the battle takes place as in the book. Octavian dies, Leo "dies". After it ends they are talking and Hazel tells them about Leo's plan. And Nico stay with Hazel that night because she's feeling guilty.

The next morning Jason shows up at Nico's door with his glasses crooked and messy hair, and here Nico reaches out and fixes his glasses. It's Nico's POV and he notices that Jason is clearly embarrassed and not knowing what to do.

"Hazel is still sleeping, can we go for a walk?" Jason nods and they walk off together slowly.

Jason asks how Nico felt about Leo's death and Nico says he felt as if he had died, but that he's not sure now. He feels that Leo did take the cure. Jason is all happy and goes to hug Nico but stops in the middle of the movement.

"Sorry, I don't…" he blushes and lowers his arms.

Nico frowns. "'You don't'... what?"

Jason puts his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. "I don't know if what happened yesterday in the battle was just because of the battle or if—"

Nico can't help but laugh a little. He looks around and there aren't many people around. It will be a while before Nico is ok with public displays of affection— other than in the middle of a battlefield, ofc.

He approaches and hugs Jason by the neck looking him in the eyes, and Jason's blue eyes, just like when Nico kissed him in the middle of the fight, now again have an intensity like lightning stirring inside his irises. Jason relaxes around Nico's arms in the same second. Nico opens his mouth to speak but hears Will calling him. He and Jason look and Will is close by with his hands on his hips.

"You can date later di Angelo. After crossing a continent and an ocean with a statue the size of a building you will stay in the infirmary at least for today." Nico huffs and rolls his eyes. "You can bring a companion." Will jokes and chuckles.

Jason pulls back a little and takes Nico's hand uncertainly, but Nico intertwines their fingers and Jason smiles a little. "I'll see if I'm needed around the Camp and talk to Chiron about quests to search for Leo, but I'll have lunch with you in the infirmary ok?" Nico nods, wanting to tell Will to get out of there because he wants to stay with Jason, help in the camp and look for Leo, he doesn't want to be stuck in an infirmary all day. Jason gives Nico a lingering kiss on the forehead that makes him close his eyes. Jason pulls back a little. "See you later." Nico nods a little lost and Jason gives one of the most charming smiles Nico has ever seen on any boy and walks away a little, but a simple kiss on the forehead caused Nico to be stuck on the ground and unable to move. Jason turns around walking backwards. "Just to know, how do you feel about surprises?"

"Public, no. Quests, no. Just you and me, yes."

Jason gives the same smile, nods and leaves. Nico stands there watching him walk away and feeling his heart melt to the floor like it's standing on quicksand.

"Hello? Do you want me to wait here all day while you daydream?" Will says reminding Nico that he was still there.

Well, Solace was annoying but maybe one more friend for Nico's friends list that now included Reyna, Hazel, Jason, maybe Percy and the others from the prophecy, wouldn't be that bad... Yeah, Nico was going to open up to accepting these people in his life. After all, he didn't regret opening up to Jason or Reyna.

Nico spends the morning and afternoon at the infirmary and Jason shows up with a chocolate brownie smuggled from the dining pavilion, and tells Nico that Chiron has approved that after the camp is fine, they all get together to make groups to search for Leo (as it should have been, honestly Riordan...). A nurse appears to bandage the werewolf injurie that Nico has and Jason sees it. Nico explains the story a little embarrassed, but Jason says.

"If you turned into half wolf then we would both be half wolves." Which makes Nico laugh, and everyone around looks at the son of Hades finding it strange to see him like that, but he ignores them.

Nico snaps his shirt collar back into place. "It's a very ugly scar."

Jason turns his head and shows where the bullet hit him. "I got this one."

Nico looks at him in disbelief and speaks quietly. "As if it doesn't make you even more cute."

Jason shakes his head, his ears a little red. "There are others, not so 'cute'." He gets more serious. "Inside and outside."

Nico understands immediately and his eyes water a little. "Inside and outside." He echoes.

Jason looks at him warily, knowing full well that Nico has literally been to hell and back, not to mention everything else. "They won't go away, never. But we can learn to live with them as best we can."

Nico nods and wipes his eyes quickly. "Do you think it's possible?"

Jason looks at him with affection and certainty. "I'm sure."

At night Jason shows up to pick up Nico with a mischievous smile.

"Should I be scared?" Nico asks walking beside Jason but doesn't have the courage to take his hand with so many people walking around the camp, and Jason notices and doesn't try anything.

"You'll like it, I'm sure."

They reach cabin 1 and go to the back, where there is no one around. Jason approaches and his eyes seem to glow in the dark, the air suddenly feels heavy for Nico with Jason's close proximity.

"May I?" Jason asks quietly and puts his hands close to Nico's waist but doesn't touch him. Nico nods, focused on the eyes next to him watching him as if they can see his soul. In the next second Nico feels Jason's hands gripping his waist and his feet floating off the floor. Nico for a second thinks it's in his head because that's how he feels, but then he notices they're actually flying slowly and he gasps and wraps his arms around Jason's neck and feels Jason chuckle. "I got you." Jason says and gives Nico a kiss on the head.

They reach the ceiling and Nico feels Jason release him carefully. "We're here." Nico let go of him and look around. On the roof of the cabin there is a blue towel, some candles and some bowls with food. In front of the towel is a telescope.

"What...?" Nico tries to say.

Jason takes his hand and begins to guide him to the towel. "Remember that at Camp Jupiter you said you liked to see the stars and I took you to the field of Mars at night to show off teaching you the names of stars and constellations?"

Nico chuckles. "I'm surprised you remember."

They stop in front of the telescope. "While we were building the ship I remembered that day, and it was that memory that made me think we were dating, because I got confused with what was a memory and what was my imagination." Nico looks at him confused and Jason blushes a little, and intertwines his fingers with Nico's. "That was the day I realized I like you. And I realized that because as much as i love to look at the starts, I wanted to spend the whole night looking at you." Jason gets closer and runs a finger caressing Nico's cheek near his eyes, making his breath quicken. "Because they are my favorite night sky." Jason kisses Nico's eye lightly and Nico's brain feels numb. Jason pulls back just a little and with difficulty Nico opens his eyes and tries to focus again. “That's why I got this telescope for you. I wasn't sure who you were, or if I'd ever meet you again, if we were really together, or if you felt the same way about me. But I knew I wanted to show you all the stars you wanted to see."

Nico couldn't wait any longer, and kissed Jason with the calm that their first kiss didn't have. The calm of knowing everything was fine now, and they could finally be each other's without fear, without rushing, without anything but them. But even calmly, with every second, every time Jason's tongue met his with the care of feeling each other like they needed to memorize every taste, or every time Nico sighed between the kiss or felt Jason's warm breath on his cheeks, or Jason's fingers roaming up his back, over his face, into his hair, and Nico pulling Jason closer by his shirt as if it were possible to be closer—Nico's heart raced and was filled with a certainty. And that certainty made him pull away for a second from Jason, just enough to look into his eyes.

"I love you." Nico said and Jason seemed lost, looking from one of Nico's eyes to the other as if to make sure this was real and not a made-up memory. Nico held tightly to the back of his head and looked sure at his favorite morning sky that always had a calm rain that could turn into an unsettling storm at any second. "I love you Jason Grace. And I'm not sure of anything else in the world like I'm sure I love you with every cell in my body."

And Nico saw around Jason's head little blue rays crackle like pure energy, and Jason was breathing hard and unevenly. "I love you." He said it with as much certainty as he could put into his voice. "And all I want is to be in your life in the way and for as long as you want me to."

Nico could have a goddess messing with his memories, go to Tartarus and back, or go through a thousand more wars if he had to, because those words would stay in his mind as a fresh memory and let him know that whatever happens and wherever he is— he has a home to return to, and now he was this home for Jason too.

#crying real tears #thinking about rewriting TOA too #and making it be in that way of a post i made with apollo and ares being punished by zeus #and maybe make jason die.... and then they get a whole book of Nico getting him back...#maybe maybe #anyway this was fun and i like this HoO a lot more 🤭#theres still a lot to fix in it liks leo and calypso #and a lot more but maybe if someond turn this into a long fic that is possible #i really just needed to make jasico canon here lol #jasico #nico di angelo #jason grace #rewriting heros of olympus #thunderworld #percy jackson #heros of olympus #hoo

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noihavenosanitythanksforasking · 6 months

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so I finished link click s2 yesterday and i'm losing my mind

So imma ramble

alrigh so when powers are activated, the user's eyes turn a different color. cxc's/whoever he is possessing(?) turn gold, Li Tianchen's turn red, (I assume smth happens to tianxi's eyes too, but it could just be that she needs to have her eyes closed as thats the only way we see her. Though it could be that her eyes turn milky like Qiao Ling's do after tianxi's death). Anyways so when lu guang activates his power his eyes turn blue. But allegedly, he's been going into the past over and over again to try and save cxc. This is confusing to me. If Lu Guang has been through this timeline multiple times over and over, would he not know whats going on already? Even if things do change every timeline, after going through a certain amount of times an incredible amount of time, its easily plausible that the changes that would occur wouldn't be too hard to predict. Like Lu Guang said multiple times in season 1(i forget where) time has these node things which i think of as like check points in time. The way the explanation made sense in my head was almost like some sort of binary code. The Node either happens or not. So with this reasoning if lu guang when through the time line enough times to create every possible combination of these happened or it didn't happen moments, he would be able to "predict" the future. (that would also mean that lu guang is suuuper old because there are so many of these checkpoints that could happen in 4 years) Anyways, at this point im not sure what i believe about lu guang's ability anymore. If he's gone through the timeline so many times, couldn't he just have the knowledge of whats going to happen in each photo through his connection with cxc? His eyes turn blue, and we see flashes of the photo, but how do we know that its not just his memories from a past timeline.

Speaking of memories from a past timeline. Does qiao ling have all Lu guangs memories? That wouldn't make sense at all and if she doesn't why did she see the one of cxc dying? Was it because it was particularly traumatic? Why that particular one because allegedly cxc has died multiple times.

also-

my current theory about the death thing is that the node isn't necessarily for one person, but just a death in general. For example, in this timeline, Li tianxi died and cxc lived. but if cxc died would tianxi also die? in the scene where cxc is trying to talk emma out of unaliving herself, lu guang gets all surprised that it seems to be working(also side note, talk about trauma. give the boy hope and snatch it away) but she ends up dying anyways. What if the only way to save someone from dying in the past is to kill someone else. So if emma lives, cxc would have to die. And bc cxc is a self sacrificial idiot I could see him doing that to save someone else, possibly on accent but i could see on purpose too. (Lu Guang ofc wouldn't let him do this cause he's in love with him but i digress)

Which leads me me to another idea, which is the scene where Lu Guang gets stabbed right.

He was not expecting that from what I can tell. But he accepted it. Almost like he was thinking that maybe him dying in this time line would save cxc from death. It didn't work, bc he survived but still. Lu Guang getting stabbed must have been a node he hadn't come across before, which means that he had to go in blind for the entirety of season 2. This contradicts my Lu Guang power theory but that wasn't a super strong theory anyways so idk.

One of my main questions is why the hell wouldn't lu guang just do smth about tianchen before it becomes a problem. Even if he didn't come across the node of him getting stabbed before, he would still know whats going on to some extent and be able stop it right? Unless my idea about cxc sacrificing himself was the real main issue. (which will make me cry if thats true i will not survive)

Also last side note, where did lu guang originally come from? If he just popped up in their lives because he was trying to save cxc, how did they meet originally?

simple answer: he's god.

idk if any of that made sense.

#link click #link click season 2 #lu guang #cheng xiaoshi #qiao ling #li tianxi #li tianchen #link click theory #link click spoilers #shiguang dailiren #link click s2

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sovpologist · 1 year

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ok finally went ahead and caught up with the season and here are my thoughts!

hmmm... i like the season's concept but not the execution sadly. it feels bad to have an entire season where the central question is "how do you be more than a weapon" and the answer to that question is "kill yourself to save others" i guess????? rasputin didnt really get the chance to live as more than a weapon and ended his life AS a weapon but its okay and "growth" because he's being a weapon... for people he cares about this time? idk, i'm not one of those people who are like "you don't owe anyone anything" because i think helping other people is a beautiful thing to do and i love destiny's focus on community, but i feel like rasputin's ending was more about denying him community if that makes sense... he never really got the chance to experience humanity and be human unless you count his recouped felwinter memories

i feel like there were so many interesting routes we could have gone with a fully mobile and "human" rasputin that i guess the writers were just not interested in exploring... im not a rasputin loremaster so if there was precedence for rasputin being inseparable from his warsats please lmk but it genuinely felt like it came from nowhere that rasputin HAD to die to shut down the warsats. until now they had been treated as something completely separate from him (they were able to operate remotely even when he was shut down for god's sake, although you can argue gameplay elements don't equal canon)

even when ana says "there has to be another way" rasputin's response seems to indicate that it doesn't even matter because somehow someday someone will eventually get hold of the warsats and use them for harm so he might as well just die now, which again is like.... such an unhealthy and negatively self-sacrificing mindset!!!!! it is genuinely really sad to play through all the seasonal missions at once and do a speedrun of rasputin going from confident to completely depressed and questioning his purpose in life if he can't be a weapon and use force to overpower his enemies, and then to have that arc just NEVER be resolved bc he immediately decides he needs to die for the good of others. it was just a completely unsatisfying arc

there are a billion other ways the writers could have sufficiently nerfed rasputin so to not have to deal with an overpowered war god of a character who can call in an airstrike anywhere at any time and can hack every computer in existence simultaneously (listen, i get it, it would be hard to write around that) and i have to believe the destiny writers aren't stupid so i guess they genuinely just really thought rasputin had to die, probably because they wanted something "big" and "shocking" going into lightfall. and i get the meta reason is that this "chapter" of destiny is wrapping up and we have to get rid of some dangling characters and plot threads but idk i don't think that should stop me from being able to critique HOW they decide to shed characters. have rasputin lose access to his warsats and databases and decide he wants to fuck off to felwinters peak to do some soul searching if you really just dont want to have to deal with writing him into lightfall and final shape!

it just feels like such a waste as a character and i'm not even a huge rasputin fan. what really frustrates me is the wasted potential. you barely actually get to meet the "real" rasputin and he's gone, which is why the whole "emotional death scene" fell very flat for me. the ending cinematic was very gorgeous, no doubt about it, but it wasn't as emotionally moving to me as it was to others and i assume thats because i didn't play d1 so i wasn't waiting seven years for this character to actually show up as anything other than ominous backwards disembodied russian voicelines

but i dont want to be totally negative, there were a lot of small character moments i really liked. the bray sisters stuff was great and i loved mara and osiris' conversation, it was nice to see the game acknowledge that they're friends. oh and i genuinely liked rasputin's poetry! submit this man's work to the poetry foundation! it was also nice to see the mid season operation missions get changed up a little too, they felt fun and unique, and seraph station was sooooo fun! i feel like the gameplay elements of this season were great; i just didn't love the direction they took the story in the end

#chatter #seraph spoilers #long post

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afaramir · 4 months

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for the ao3 wrapped!! 1, 6, 28! (also you are not alone in believing you can finish one more thing. i am also doing that :P)

happy (newly i guess, for u!) new year anna!!! waving at u NOT from the google doc! we did it! we finished the one more thing! [ao3 wrapped]

1. How many words have you written this year?

nearly 14k (13,924 to be exact) published and at least 6-7k more of wips! tragically my least prolific year since uhhhhhhhh a long time. 2017? but thats ok it was a hard year all that matters is that i survived<3 im proud of myself for what i did bc im in that kinda moment where im relearning how to write and reengaging the creative part of my brain. and next year will be better!! i have a lot of plans and a wip list as long as a cvs receipt<33

6. Favorite title you used

this one is actually your body drowning in gravity! i havent reread it in a long long while (aside: wow i was a totally different person when i wrote that (i published it jan 3)) bc my brain has temporarily been caught by other things. but it was an idea that i'd been turning over in my head for over a year at the time when i wrote it and i think i saw the richard siken poem that the title is from (it's "the dislocated room" btw) on my dash in the middle of the writing process and it was like. Perfect. like i choose all my titles very carefully but this one really knocks it out of the park. when the fic is literally about tanner thinking mallory is the one that's fallen from the top of the cns building at the end of spectre and not knowing until the body hits the ground.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

OUGHHH this is hard. Ough. ok i DO think it's just so long as this thing's loaded. im chronically an "i wrote this for me but you can read it if you want" guy bc i have rarepair disease. if i want to read it i have to be the one to write it. but this fic was really an exercise in like. getting weird with it. remembering that u cannot judge ur creation by any possible bad faith interpretation of it. letting myself write the kind of wildly unhinged horny possessive devotion that eats the inside of my brain but ive never been able to put on the page bc of the Fear of like ohhh that would be sooo bad in real life. dude theyre. not real. idk im not good at that sort of thing the panopticon inside my mind is sometimes kind of crazy. but like yeah actually they do think the power dynamic is hot. yeah nick made jasper fake betraying him obviously here is this situation where jasper comes back to nick after his faked death and both of them are pretending not to know the betrayal wasn't real. its just roleplay 2 them. sorry to quote a line in this already extremely long answer but like "The only thing he wants to keep is right here at his side and hasn’t that been the point of all of this, the knife to his throat and the blood in his kiss and the slow simmer of barely leashed desire. Jasper has come to him like this, the traitor slinking his guilty way home, to show Nick the lengths to which he would go for him. To which he has always gone for him, giving up everything to play Nick’s triple agent, just what the Director ordered." is literally the thesis statement of the whole thing. Anyway

also its the kind of fic where every line is trying to be The Line which...is a quirk of my writing style that comes out every now and then that im usually (for good reason tbh) always trying to cut back on. but this...Needed It. sometimes the prose DOES need to be purple. and i had fun. it was really fun dude lol i had a great time

#from the inbox #potatoesandsunshine #this is sooooo long sorry #i just love 2 talk about my fic.....#my writing

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beldaroot · 1 year

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anita,,,,,, episode 11,,,,,

if you haven’t watched it yet pls ignore !!!! but if you have…..

OH MY GOD!!!! this episode was so insane i was literally crying within the first 2 minutes 😭 my heart hurts so bad for rei… and i can’t believe they did that to misaki!!! i knew that SOMETHING was going to go down but i was not expecting for THAT especially so soon T^T im so glad that rei figured out what was going on and called kazuki and that kazuki was able to get there in time to save miri but……. OTL misaki did not deserve that :( i know she hadn’t been the best mother up until this point but i truly think that she wanted to change and you could tell that she really loved miri! i am so so so not looking forward to when they have to tell miri what happened……..

and as if i wasn’t already crying hard enough, at the end when kazuki and rei were like “this isn’t a pretend relationship anymore, we’re becoming a REAL family now” T^T MY HEART…… they love miri so much,,,,

it also really !!! squeezed my heart !!!! to see how much they were showing rei’s love for miri in this episode. ofc it’s been a few episodes now that rei has been slowly revealing how much miri means to him, but for some reason this episode hit even harder!!! like when he was sleeping with miri’s rubber duck at his side???? i was sobbing!!!!!! and you could hear the fear & panic in his voice when he called kazuki telling him to go get miri……. ohhhh my god this anime is going to kill me. i believe episode 12 is the last episode, and im so nervous for what’s gonna happen T^T

yes i did watch it and i had the same whirlwind of emotions as you!!! that picture truly sums up exactly how i felt after watching HELP

i actually kinda enjoyed seeing kazuki and rei all miserable in the beginning LOL it just really drove it home that these two love and care for miri so much and feel utterly at lost without her :(

but i am slightly disappointed in how they handled misaki... i know she wasn't the best mom, but you really could see that she regretted her past actions and wanted to change for the better for miri. it's just unfortunate that she didn't get to do that successfully at the end and that she essentially had the same fate as miri's father? she didn't deserve that (especially when rei and kazuki got the opportunity to change but she didn't)! i honestly can't wrap my head around it without getting a lil bit upset lol i do hope the ending lands well bc that whole arc felt so rushed and unnecessarily brutal :/

but the ending! yes, it made me so happy how it was rei that pushed for the family to stay together! you can see the guilt he has for being responsible for killing both of miri's parents and that he wants to "atone for his sins" (though i don't think he's the main person to blame). it was just v nice to see that he accepted and wanted to change! and all of this came naturally bc he truly does love miri with his whole heart and would rather give everything up just to make sure she's safe! and the way it was so easy for him to convince kazuki bc even though he knows a foster care system would probably be safest for her, he also knows that what's best for her now is being a family together! i loved how they said it wasn't going to be a fake family anymore - everything about their relationship will be real and true! though i'm still concerned if they're planning on lying to miri about her parents and their role in their deaths or if that's something they're going to be truthful about. she's only four, but i don't want this "real" family to already start off with lies, ya know? i'm v v v curious on how this show will end! it's crazy that they're wrapping everything up in a single episode OTL that's why i'm hoping for some type of ova or something! more than anything though, i need to see rei take his family and that creepy "last words" dude out! i cannot rest until those people are gone and no longer a threat to miri!

#anyway thank you again for coming into my inbox with your feelings! it's good to know we're all on the same page lol #i'm really interested and nervous in how this will all end - i just want them to all be happy OTL #bd #bd spoilers

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marvelsvision · 2 years

Text

okay, so-

i haven't written fanfiction in ages, and im not too fond of the way i write, but I've had this idea in my mind all day and i needed to write it down.

I'm sorry if there's any errors, english isn't my first language. also i wrote this on my phone so I'm not sure how it looks like on desktop.

a little context: this is a college au, but Peter and reader are the same age as Otto and Norman. set in the 2010s kinda like the 2017 spiderman cartoon, except Otto is just a student instead of Peter's professor.

also this is lowkey nsfw?? so be aware of that

(using this gif of Hugh bc that's how Otto looked like in college, fight me)

Regarding his intellect, Otto Octavius wasn't insecure; he was only 19, and yet he knew how brilliant he was and the bright future that awaited him.

However, when it came to social interactions, especially romantic relationships, he was lost. He was awkward and shy, and always preferred to stay in his dorm than going to parties with his roommate.

So when a girl from his class needed a tutor and asked for his help, he was too afraid to say no. And when they met in her dorm and she put her hand on his thigh, he was gone. She was the first girl to ever show interest in him and he fell hard and fast. He was ecstatic when she agreed to go out with him, even if she wanted to keep it a secret for the time being, while she was "ready to tell her friends". He tried not to care too much when she missed their study sessions, because she would always make it up to him with cuddles and kisses, and he didn't mind. He even made her final project for her, and that's when everything went wrong.

One day he finally gave in and agreed to go to a party with Norman, to surprise her. To show her that he was willing to try and be more extroverted and have fun, maybe even have a few drinks. And there she was, straddling another guy's lap, making out with him like there was no tomorrow. And Otto's world came crashing around him; he left the party and didn't look back, fighting back tears and ignoring Norman calling his name.

So when the next semester you came into his life and showed interest in him, he couldn't believe it. It was too good to be true. He wasn't gonna let himself be fooled and have his heart broken again, the physical affection was just not worth it.

And yet he always felt the need to be around you. He loved to hear your laugh and see you smile at him, and he absolutely adored the way you said his name. But whenever he felt his heart beating faster when you were next to him he always left, saying he had homework or a project or a study session with Norman. He even started avoiding you to try and stop his feelings for you to keep growing; but when Peter told him that you were worried that he was mad at you, he felt terrible.

Next time he saw you alone in the library he sat next to you and explained everything, finally allowing himself to open his heart with someone. And he will never forget the way you looked at him, full of love and honesty when you told him you'd never break his heart if he gave you the chance. And he did.

And now there he was, laying almost naked on your bed with you on top of him, kissing his neck. This was all new to him, god knows he never did anything like this with the other girl, which made him even more nervous. What if you were playing him as well? You were studying english literature, so you didn't need help with classes, but what if this was a bet? What if someone dared you to make him fall for you and then you'd laugh in his face when you finally told him the truth?

And even if it wasn't a bet, you could still do so much better than him. He thought about all the cute boys who approached you at coffee shops or after class, unashamedly flirting with you and asking for your number even when he was standing next to you. He thought about the looks they gave him when you politely declined their advances, holding his hand and telling them that you were taken. Even they couldn't believe you'd be with him.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice you stopped kissing him, giving him a concerned look because of his frowned expression.

"Otto?" you said, trying to get his attention. "Otto!"

He looked up at you, a light blush on his cheeks. "Sorry, i was distracted"

"I could tell" you said with a small laugh. "Want to tell me what's on your mind?"

His frown accentuated and he looked away from you, and you immediately knew what was going on.

"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you" you said caressing his cheek. "You're perfect in my eyes"

Otto looked at your face again, trying to figure out if you were lying, even though deep down he knew you weren't. He wanted nothing more to tell you how much he loved you, but his insecurity wasn't something he could let go easily, and you both knew that.

Still, you were always so patient and loving to him, he couldn't believe someone as amazing as you was in his life, choosing to love him out of all people.

He gently cupped your cheeks with his hands and you leaned in to kiss him. You pulled away after a few moments and he smiled, his face going red when you started to kiss his neck once again, one hand on the bed to keep you steady and the other slipping in his boxers, rubbing his erection.

He closed his eyes and did his best to ignore his brain, just focusing on you. On the way your hands felt on him, on all the small praises you whispered against his skin while you left a trail of kisses from his neck to his chest.

"My beautiful, beautiful Otto"

You nipped at his skin and he let out a small moan, feeling your mouth getting closer and closer to his crotch.

He genuinely doesn't know what he did to deserve you. And even though it may take him a while to accept it, he already trusts you completely. After all, you could easily be with any person you wanted, and yet you're here with him, touching him, telling him how much you love him.

And he knows that with you by his side, everything's gonna be alright

#sorry if this sucked lmao #also i haven't posted here in ages and i come back with a fanfic #haven't posted anything about otto here but I'd die for him #i guess you can tell by now #otto octavius #otto octavius x reader #doc ock x reader #doc ock x you

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awsugar · 2 years

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mack i have a deranged question and i don’t have a rational explanation. what’s the timeline of nigel like when did he show up and when did he fully dissipate???

omg well let me see...

i think its partially hard to pinpoint bc of gerard's use of makeup and also his penchant for sunglasses but. nigel appeared first in possibly late 2004?

i think thats a HINT of nigel there under the makeup and teal roots was around thanksgiving 2004 i believe, so im gonna say thats around the time that it showed up

nigel was still in full swing in late 2005

still there in 2006

and early-mid 2007

and late 2007

and july 2008

and really thats the last instance of it that i can find. bc mcr was on haitus so he wasn't really making appearances and they did a little bit of promo for cw in like feb 2010 but all the magazines would have photoshopped it out if it was still there and then i do think it was gone by late 2010 when dd started bc i have never tagged a dd pic with nigel. so thats my best guess! probably late 2004 to sometime in late 2009...which is a long ass time for a burst blood vessel to stick around?? i think? but idk. anyway yea im always down for deranged timelines <3 hope this helped

#anonymous #asks #nigel

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gunmetal-ring · 3 years

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I'm actually looking forward to next week's episode tbh like I know so many of us are dreading it and are having a lot of anxiety but I have a rly hard time believing that Leah will be introduced independent of the reapers, meaning that she'll likely rip off her mask and dramatically be like "daryl... the group that just killed some of your group... They're My Family"

meaning that Daryl will internally be like, in order

A) omg wait Leah is alive?!

B) wtf?!

C) wait why is she with the bad guys?!

D) wait she called them her family?!

E) she's voluntarily with them?!

F) why?!

G) hang on she's been hunting maggie?!

H) oh shit she's probably still pissed that I bounced

I) she's probably double pissed that I chose Carol- uh, um, I mean Rick/and now Maggie over her, even tho it was only temporarily, but she doesn't know that bc she bounced before I came back

J) oo and she's probably triple pissed that I didn't bother looking for her the way I looked for Rick #BromanceOverRomance (and only decided to stop looking for Rick when Carol asked me to, whoops i mean -)

K) hmm alright how am I gonna survive this one

Then, knowing twd, the end credits will roll, and then the next time we resume that storyline it'll be

L) alright well maybe I'll ask how the hell she's still alive where has she been what happened etc you know, all the awkward run-in-with-the-ex catching up they have to do

M) probably gonna get some snarky remark because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and then he's gonna be like well you know what I gotta stay alive for this bc how else will I ride off into the sunset with Carol?

N) so he'll say "hey psst secret is that I hate Maggie too, i was trying to kill her too I super swear, let's join together and do it also I love you 5ever Im totally telling the truth I super duper swear for real pinky promise"

O) and internally he'll be like not only will this keep me alive so I can ride off into the subset with Carol but it will also help me to accept the fact that my value as a person does not rest on whether or not I can save people

P) bc as we know, the girl was cuckoo for cocoa puffs back when they met, and has probably only turned cuckoo-ier since she bounced, seeing as how she's on a murderous rampage with a bunch of dudes in creepy Halloween masks

Q) and then he'll realize that She Can't Be Saved And TBH Wasn't All That Great To Begin With, And It Probably Wasn't A Great Idea To Date Her In The First Place Anyway, Especially Since I Was Actually In Love With Someone Else The Whole Time whoops I mean -

R) and then she'll die or fuck off forever somehow and Carol will be like omg Daryl I'm so sorry that your creepy woodswoman long lost love is gone for good, it's probably my fault to some degree, just like your its-not-like-that long lost love is gone for good also because of me

S) and he'll be like um jsyk when I say "It's not like that" I mean "it's not like that" so no I don't love Connie it just sucks that she went AWOL for all the normal reasons, and also have you considered the fact that the thing I loved about leah was that she had Dog and gave me a sense of purpose while I was failing to find rick bc if I can't find him at least maybe I can save her from herself

T) and Carol will be like OK well and Daryl will be like no okay well just LISTEN to me the main reason I didn't love either of them is because I love YOU always have always will

U) then Carol will start crying and he'll gently wipe away her tears and be like BTW I know you love me but I get it if you can't be w me bc of all your trauma and whatnot

V) and Carol will be like yes I love you I've been repressing it for the last six or seven seasons bc i thought you didn't love me but you know what I'm working thru my trauma as best I can

W) and he'll be like oh great so.... this means I can kiss you right

X) and she'll be like um duh lay one on me

Y) they kiss

Z) they ride off into the sunset and star in a spinoff all about middle aged dating in the zombie apocalypse when it's just the two of you out on the road all alone for the rest of your lives the end

#went off the rails a bit there #but ladies #keep the faith #caryl #caryl is endgame #caryl positivity #twd s11 spoilers #twd s11 speculation #twd

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dellinah · 3 years

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Ik yall are tired of me never shutting up about thylacines. So have one more post about thylacines

Ok let's get this over with

They released the pics for the lastest alleged thylacine sighting

*siiigh* i'm tired of this, man

I'm sorry but this just doesn't cut it for me. I joked in the past about how every sighting is done in a 2005 camera and it shows anything BUT a good position of the animal and... yeah. Hardly a joke now

Now I'm not saying this isnt one and I am FAR from a wildlife expert and I don't mean to claim I am or that I am better than the people who devoted literal decades of their lives to this. I am not disrespecting their work which I am sure is a very difficult job and fruitless as well. Im literally a furry who spends too much time on the internet i should by definition lose the right to say things what do I know

But I do think it's pretty shitty to claim you have proof and anounce you found one and then release... that. It is just not conclusive at all. You can't look at it and say THYLACINE. It could be something else. The other expert said it's a pademelon. If you say you're sure you found one i expect at least a pic of its face, or body in good view

Tasmanian tigers had very long, thin muzzles that were already present in the babies who were pretty much just adults in smaller sizes. I find it hard to believe you wouldnt see at least the tip of it from that pose as the head is a bit sideways. It makes the muzzle seem too small?

The ears are also not exactly the same shape (tho maybe it's bc they're folded) and the fur seems a bit too puffy (that could be bc it's really young, but thylacines were not puffy at all)

They also released this one

The pic with the babies shows the babies had very distinct stripes all the way down the butt like adults, and while you can't say this one doesn't have them, you'd think they'd be more visible. Theyre supposed to go till the very base of the tail and that base seems a bit bare

Unfortunately the ankles are not clear in that one which makes it hard to tell. Thylacines had extremely low ankles, and it's the first thing to look for when a sighting shows a thylacine's body, bc half the time you can tell if it's a dog/fox/dingo or a thylacine by how low or high the ankle is

It's literally like 1/5 of the leg, while dogs' ankles are almost half their legs

The butt seemed a bit too round to me. I wasn't sure how they would look from behind so I checked the footage from 1936 to see if i could get a shot. And I was like... I'm kinda right? It's less round than their pic

Thylacines were very thin and stiff animals, the tail barely moves. That animal is thin, but it seems a bit too round still. Maybe it's bc it's a baby, but again... hard to tell

Also their other pic looks like this

Whyy

Some experts said it might be a thylacine, one even said it's a 50% chance and a safe bet. So it's definitely the best one we've had! And maybe there are some thylacines there still.

But it's not conclusive

I wish they'd set up cameras in different poses in the same place to get more clear shots, ans FACE shots. I hope they do it now! And either figure out options this animal could be or prove once and for all that thylacines managed to survive

Till then... I'll say they're gone and the animal in the pic is an animal from behind we can't identify. I never claimed to be an expert bc im not, but... I don't see a thylacine

And its still shitty to claim you found one when even experts cant agree. So... dont do that. Im sure he was excited bc he is sure but that cant be confirmed

So yeah. If you ask me, till PROVEN wrong, Thylacines really are gone

As we are they once were, as they are so shall we be

#thylacine #tasmanian tiger #tasmanian wolf #thats my theory anyway #maybe im wrong #but idk those pics aint enough #extinction got to them bc of us and it sucks

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boobookiss · 2 years

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I think the WAY that mark does his tricks...or "SURPRISES" always works just bc he is 1. A master bullshitter, 2. A good actor when he wants to be.

Like I've been watching Mark since Heist, I've watched almost every video put up since then, gone back and watched his twitch streams, listened to his podcasts, etc etc. He does that thing where he rambles on and on about nothing and stalls LOT, like once you catch onto it, you will notice it every time. The whole "Im gonna tell you guys something, its very important. So you need to listen. Im gonna tell ya right nowc are ya ready? Because it's gonna blow you out of the WATER-" and he can continue that for. 40 minutes straight.

But somehow it still ends up working just because of the...precise measures he takes with it to keep us guessing.

Like...As soon as he started talking about the frog in the water, I was like ok... is he bullshitting. Hmm. And it kept going, and he did exactly what he wanted to do, because even when I was like OH OK NOW I K N O W THIS IS BULLSHIT. He still MADE ME WANNA BELIEVE IT! Because like he said, if it is true, I don't wanna be left out. I'm curious.

Even when I was on here saying GUYS I DIDNT SEE AN Y T HING AM I CRAZY? 😭 I still put trust IN HIM. Because well, he wouldn't go all the way out of the room to get a hard drive and make a joke about IT with markiplier if he DIDNT have something to show right? He wouldn't be so rude about people NOT seeing a change if there wasn't one, right? Maybe he made a mistake....

Like, even my logical brain knew that it was a trick because my eyes physically SAW NO CHANGE, but I still got tricked! And yk I get it. I get it. I get the appeal. I think it's pretty silly. I'm enjoying myself.

#markiplier #myposts

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hhuta · 3 years

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every day i think about how they changed the le bien qui fait mal and l'assasinphonie choreography so salieri wasn't dancing close with sexy half naked men. do we know why. i have tried and failed to pinpoint an exact time. i feel like im going insane. they no homoed a dance

anon.. i think about that daily too... im so happy someone else loves the original choreos like i do 😭 it took me a while to reply cuz i was on a mission to answer ur questions as best as i could. so... finally... here is what i found out:

first of all if u wanna read my rant about the changes, in general, here are the posts about le bien qui fait mal and l'assasymphonie

second of all "do we know why" is a good question. meaning i dont have an answer dlkjaskl i just now started to learn french so if they ever talked about it in a video, or something... i missed it. so right away im telling u that i can only offer my guesses.

///

starting with LE BIEN QUI FAIT MAL, as i said in that post i linked, i tried to figure out whether they only degayed it for the 2011 proshot or not and i found out that no, the changes were also present in live performances.

then an anon told me massimiliano (the dancer who manhandles salieri) couldnt be at the 2011 proshot recording. i checked the video and he really wasnt there at all, but that still doesnt fully explain things, bc as u will see from my extensive, very professional research, unlike in the 2011 proshot, in live 2011 shows massimiliano was there, performing, in other parts of the musical. just not during lbqfm. i know he is an irreplaceable icon, so much that i couldnt find a single video where he wasnt the one manhandling salieri (even tho other dancers, from other parts of the choreo, kept switching), but to me its now clear that that was not the case. they really just decided to change the choreo.

so now lets see how it all progressed

for that its helpful to know the dates of mor performances. based on that i was insane enough to watch as many videos as i could to try to pinpoint when the choreo changed. except it wasnt that simple. i quickly found out that a loootttttt of other changes happened before that major one, before massimiliano left. so here it is

THE LBQFM CHOREO CHANGES I NOTICED

03.01.2010 last PDS performance, still the original

6, 26 february 2010 original

11 march 2010 original (massimiliano's skirt fell off 😭)

20 march 2010 original

8 may 2010 original

9 may 2010 not so much the original anymore. this is the first change i've noticed. @1:28 originally its a male dancer who bends back salieri and then there are 2 men and 2 women who .. idk how to describe it, but do that push and pull motion. here one of the guys is not there

(10, 11, 12 no performances)

13, 15, 16 may 2010 now the other guy is gone too, only women left (but the dancer is not really gone. im pretty sure hes there, doing another thing next to them)

(cannot find a video from the 17th, that was the last performance in lyon)

performances at zenith de saint etienne begin at the 21st but i couldnt find a video from it

22 may 2010 original again (sidenote salieri is really unhinged here)

27 may 2010 change. female dancer who's usually interacting with salieri during the first verses isnt there, just massimiliano. not sure if its the same woman who calls him during the bridge and moves him thru the dancers but anyways shes also not there, he walks around alone. so when the Climax happens, again, only massimiliano is there grabbing him

31 may 2010 and 6, 10, 13 and 19 june 2010 another change. the female dancer is back, but during "j'adore l'avoir dans la peau" usually there are two dancers next to him mimicking playing a harp with their bodies but not this time

now the dates that matter the most i cant find a single videeooo 🤡 which are the performances in limoges (25, 26 and 27 june 2010) so all i can say is that

3 july 2010 is the first time i could find that massimiliano wasnt there. aka the degayed choreo. but i cant say if it is the first. also the original choreo for the "j'adore..." part is back again. thats the only performance they did in nancy and its also the last tour performance from 2010. a bunch of people were at the curtain call, even albert cohen was there, so its very weird that massimiliano was absent. im so mad i couldnt find those videos from late june bc all i got is just one video of him not being there, which makes me think he just couldnt be there so they had to change the choreo

9 november 2010 they are back in PDS and its the original again (also this is just for me but he still has the original cravat here. im trying to kill two birds with one stone)

2 december 2010 original (salieris beautiful cravat is gone 😔but this is one of my fave videos)

5, 11 december 2010 still the original

12 december 2010 changes again 😭 "j'adore..." harp dancers are gone again

14 december 2010 they are back <3 (funny video bc mikelangelo forgets to give florent the score)

18 december 2010 NOW HERE ITS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING. a little change. massimiliano is there at the beginning, he drags salieri around but then hes gone before the first verse starts! and he doesnt come back !!! harp dancers are still there tho lmao

19 december 2010 massimiliano is fully gone 🎻 yamin even replaced him during la mascarade, like it happens in the 2011 proshot. i think since this date this change became the standard for a while, before they went back to the original. in the meantime, im guessing its when they shot the 2011 proshot

26 december 2010 still just the female dancer

4, 8 january 2011 still just the female dancer

9 january 2011 still just the female dancer but because it was the last performance in paris, before going on tour again, she has a whip for funsies. also they added, at the end, 2 female dancers sorta removing and quickly putting back salieris coat

28 january 2011 first tour performance, still just the female dancers. and i was not paying attention to this before, but i noticed for the first time in this video the 2 women dancing together, like they show for 2 seconds in the 2011 proshot. lesbian rights <3 i dont think it was part of the original choreo? its hard to tell exactly when they added that bc people usually record salieri, not the dancers, and hes not next to them when it happens (its before the bridge)

4, 5, 6 february 2011 still just the female dancer. but unlike before, this time (but idk exactly when it began) massimiliano was there for other parts of the show; yamin and other people didnt replace him (on the 4th: im pretty sure hes present in l'assasymphonie) (on the 5th: hes in la mascarade, le trublion, etc)

so. they really just changed it. massimiliano not being able to perform wasnt the case. we have to accept that they made a mistake <333 ldkajslk

19, 20, 27 february 2011 the original is back

19, also 19, 20, 23, 26 march 2011 it changed a little again but massimiliano is still there. no one bends salieri back and just one guy and one woman do the push and pull motion. also i think around here they removed the two women dancing together? maybe i just cant see it

20 mai 2011 original back once again

01 april 2011 .................... clearly an aprils fools joke bc massimiliano is gone again. i randomly picked this date cuz i knew it would be cursed dlkjaslk.. also again salieri doesnt get bent back and just 2 dancers do the push and pull... u knOW IT !!! WE GET IT !!!!! ok but i love him dramatically sighing and falling on the floor at @2:58 hes doing the most to make up for the flavour that got lost

03.06.2011 original again

12.06.2011 just massimiliano, no female dancer. im obsessseedddd with this video fully bc of the things massimiliano does!! obsessed with his evil smile @0:48, obsessed with salieri forgetting to throw the score on the floor, so massimiliano grabs it from his hand and forces him to kneel and stand up again. can u tell im a massimilianator and the choreo without him has no chance to please me?

17.06.2011 back to the original again

now im gonna skip to the very last performance from this production bc im honestly tired lkdajskl

10 july 2011 its the original thank god

TL;DR: 19 december 2010 is when the degayed choreo became the standard for a bit and on 19 february 2011 the original returns.

im confident that watching all those videos in a short period of time gave me brain damage but .. anything for science <3

ANYWAYS i started to do this to figure out why they changed It only to realise they changed A Lot of other things throughout performances (some things i didnt even mention, like the dance the woman does next to salieri during the first verse changes a lot) and they kept going back and forth to the original choreo. i think i can safely say not a single part (involving salieri) remained the same throughout the whole thing (not even the bending him back part was always there. i could swear it would be but!! no!). my guess is maybe because a certain dancer took a break or maybe they just wanted to do something different

in conclusion i figured out the exact dates but i cant tell u why massimiliano wasnt part of lbqfm for a while. i couldnt even find people talking about it on forums but, again, maybe bc im not fluent in french. to me it was a big loss, the whole thing loses its spice, i obviously prefer the original by miles. no idea why they simply didnt chose someone to replace him bc the other dancers changed all the time.

maybe it was in florents contract that only massimiliano was allowed to manhandle him <3 dlkjaslk im half kidding bc who knows? maybe it was a legal thing, maybe massimiliano invented this part of the choreo and only He could do it 😭 but honestly. my real final guess is that they simply wanted to change things to make it New and Fresh. as we saw, massimiliano leaving wasnt the only lbqfm choreo change.

///

moving on to L'ASSASYMPHONIE thank god bc it will be a lot easier to pinpoint when they changed the choreo. i believe they changed it and never went back to the original </3 god knows why </333 so when i find the new one ill stop looking

03.01.2010 last performance from "season one", at PDS (before going on tour) and also the last time they used the original choreo bUT ! THERES A BONUS! MORE MEN !!! LKDJALKS they said we will degay it later but u can have more naked men as a goodbye gift <3 really caught me by surprise, its the first time i watched it. but u wanna know whats really weird? this blurry shaky video is the only one i can find?! i even had to scroll a lot on youtube to get to it... conspiracy theory dove is trying to hide the original choreo. but honestly it makes no sense bc it was a Special day..... i cant find it anywhereee not even outside youtube... this is a hate crime. this is offensive. this is the heresy salieri sings about in the song.

the only thing i found was another performance from the same day but i think its the morning or afternoon performance and not the very last one. its for sure different than the one i linked first. i dont think there are 100 men onstage but at least we can see he had black nails 🥰 anyways... if anyone knows a better shot video of the very last performance... let me know... im really upsetklfdjalsjdal I FEEL SOOOO ROBBED...

and im even more mad now, remembering that from now on we get this new choreo. it began on their first tour

04.02.2010 2010 tour begins, first time we see the new choreo

and i have absolutely no idea why they changed it. again, i never saw an explanation and i dont have a single guess. i cannot imagine why they thought the new one was better. if i have to say one nice thing about it is that i like the background, the moving curtain that kinda looks like flames. they should absolutely drop the stupid flashing lights and just leave that background for the Cool effect and bRING BACK..... THE HALF NAKED BLINDFOLDED MEN (HNBM) ........... THEY CAN REPRESENT SO MUCCHHHHHH... I LOVE THEM....

thats all i got to say otherwise ill start repeating myself.. if u wanna read more about my opinions on the hnbm and why i prefer the original l'assasymphonie choreo its all in the second link of this post..

anyways big thanks to anyone who read this, hope u enjoy all those videos. even with the dagayed choreos, florent and the dancers always deliver amazing performances. so, regardless, its a good time to watch them. lastly if anything is wrong, if i put down the wrong date or something, my bad, but it was .. a lot.. to go through, so if anyone sees a mistake let me know !

#mozart l'opera rock #asks #mor ref

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dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years

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good evening caro mio, it's very lovely to see you~!! 💞🌹💫 oh my, i was gone for a little bit wasn't i? i apologize if i made any of you worry/wasn't there to help brighten your days like you say i do!! i was taking a little bit of a mental health break, and i feel a lot better now!!! i'm so happy to be back here, i missed you all so much!! (especially you morgy! ❤) (1/???)

"i hope your first day of school went alright,, i know how much it sucks, but i'm here alongside you to get through it all!! hopefully this school year can be at least a teensy bit easier on everyone,, but we do have to take it one day at a time, or as i say, baby steps 🌠 i should probably address this now so i can get the serious bits out of the way, but i assure you all that i'm alright!! that incident was just unfortunate, and my family made me take a rest from working because of it,, (2/?)

plus, that kind of situation is common for me unfortunately, so i'm used to sudden panics like that,, but i feel quite better now!! and i'm happier more than ever to be back again 💖💖💖 (3/?)

i do truly thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of your patience, kind words, and support!! i'm honestly extremely surprised at how sweet everyone was about this,, it's such a nice change from daily life,, i have no idea how to put my utter gratefulness into words, but please know that i love you all so so so much!! i wouldn't trade any of you for the world, you matter so much to me 💌 (4/?)

it seems that so much has happened while i was gone,, all of these picrews (which i absolutely adore!) and quinn getting into my account?? ahhhhh oh gosh,, that's a lot!! i'm gonna have to scold her! i can't believe she would submit such candid pics of me and other stuff,, quite embarrassing! but i wasn't expecting such a positive response to me and my one cat,,, who knew that all you anons find me sleeping cute??? it's confusing to me, but i find it quite funny hehe 😖❤ (5/?)

luckily i was able to be a little more productive lately, even if i have been exausted!! i've been cooking, cleaning, modeling, sewing, dancing, and editing videos for people,, so much work! i do think it's worth it though, it helps distract me from the bad things in life, and other people end up happy,, i'd consider it a win-win for me!!! my dad also taught me how to fix up an angelo azzuro,, which is a cocktail i didn't learn yet! (6/?)

it took two days of hard work and practice, but according to him, i "nailed it right on the head" my papa is always my go-to for mixology, he taught me most of what i know, and he's always the first person to try my drinks! apparently it's a very interesting concept to my other friends, since they have so limited access to spirits,, it does make sense though! (7/?)

we italians just don't care about drinking ages hehehe, as long as we're responsible and cautious with age, it adds to our lifespan ;) during that short break, i suppose my narcolepsy flared up a lot since i was falling asleep left and right! it was awful having to constantly wake up with either a migraine, extra tiredness, or even a bruise or two,, thankfully though i had my family to watch over me,, at least i was finally able to make up for lost sleep hehe 💫 (8/?)

i also got to play a lot of minecraft hehe,, my friend and i actually spent a full day doing a speedrun world, and we killed the ender dragon and wither within only 2 1/2 hours!! it was crazy,, i guess me and him just make a dynamic duo (but i dare to say,, not quite as dynamic as you and me 😉) speaking of minecraft, over the weekend i decided that i'm going to start streaming on twitch soon as a hobby!! i'm very excited for this, it's something i've wanted to do for a very long time now (9/?)

all of my friends and my siblings are very supportive of it, which i'm super glad about!! i've always found little bits of joy in my favorite streamers, so why not give back to that community? an artist friend of mine even drew me a pfp as a gift, it's so cute! all i have to do is figure out a balance between school, personal life, and streaming, then i'll be set,, i'm always happy to get a new hobby 😊✨ (10/?)

oh my, it's almost 23:45 now!! sadly, unlike today, tomorrow is full of classes and work,, so i should probably get going to bed! i'll hopefully see you tomorrow then, darling! goodnight, and as always, sweet dreams,, make sure to rest extra when you can 💗- much much love and extra hugs, waifu anon xoxo 💗❤💖💞💓💕💘💌 ps: you say that you'd come all the way to america just to say such kind things to me?? it looks like i'll just have to return the favor then darling 💘 (11/11)"

This do b kinda late ngl since im assuming i literally leave for school just as u send those in💀💀💀 things r kinda hard w school here but today was actually one of the few decent days i had in what y e a r s??? Me n my friends went out after classes and spent the entire afternoon sipping boba tea (it was my first time having it since boba places r rare here and we had to travel in the opposite part of the city and holy shit my third eye opened bruh i A S C E N D E D) and talking abt anime and simping and basically clowned eachother constantly jahahhdkf

B u t enough of that bc i see u had some nice days goin on as well😳😳 as i said many times before i'd kill a man to taste the cocktails that u do and one day we finna do that on g o d 😩✌️ and STREAMING? DROP THE LINK WILL YA DARLIN ME N THE CLOWN ARMY WILL BE THERE IN A H E A R T B E A T HDJDJSJ honestly streamer waifu is such a nice concept....i myself dream of streaming but sadly i dont have the time, space, money and overall neccesary equipments for it which is lowkey depressing ngl💀

Either way im glad to hear u been balancing things out and taking breaks dear, i myself am t r y i n g to make time for other stuff too since i really wanna write and watch anime (u know what series i just finished and had a 🅱️REAKDOWN 🅱️ REAKDOWN over one hour ago🤡🔪) but the schedule do b wacky ngl....

And as always i say: of c o r p s e everyone had positive reactions?? W h y w o u l d n t t h e y-

#JESUS HAS A R R I V E D #also wow dear...bein a smooth criminal again i s e e👁️#the confessional

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grapehyunshair · 5 years

Text

Infidelity pt.3 // JJH

It has been 6 months since you walked out of the house and to say those months have been hard would be an understatement. Trying to forget Jaehyun was harder than you thought it would be, seeing as his face was literally everywhere around you. At first you couldn't bear hanging out with the other boys as well and you had stopped picking up their calls or answering their messages. That was until Mark and Hyuck almost broke down your door one day and demanded to "get your ass up and hang out with them". Ever since that day you have become much closer with those two than you ever were, both of them making sure that they never mentioned Jaehyun's name around you. The older members made sure to check up on you as well. Taeyong and Doyoung regularly swung by and made food for you, Johnny and Taeil took you out on walks, Ten had dance parties with you, while Jungwoo, Sicheng and Yuta took you shopping at least once a week because according to them you needed to up your dating game. That's how you found yourself getting ready for a date one Saturday night with one of Johnny's friends who was visiting from Chicago for a week. You really didn't want to go, claiming that it was pointless since he would be leaving either way, yet Johnny insisted that you at least try seeing what going on a date would be like considering that you hadn't really gone on many dates before dating Jaehyun. So with that thought in mind you hesitantly agreed and now you were regretting everything because you were really, really nervous. You walked to the restaurant you would be meeting Minhyuk (YES IM IMAGINING MINHYUK FROM MONSTA X FITE ME) -Johnny's friend- thinking that some fresh air would make you losen up a little bit and it did; it really did until you reached your destination and saw him waiting for you. You had to admit he was very handsome and you wished in this moment you could get Jaehyun out of your brain and give this guy a proper chance so that's what you tried to do. You approached him with a smile and said a small hi.

This is a happy ending version bc many of u guys asked for it uwuwu I'll write an alternative angsty ending in a while ily guys

"Oh, you must be Y/N. You're even more beautiful than Johnny described." He grinned and gave you a hug, making you blush in return and hug him back. He had a beautiful smile, with one small dimple popping up making him look adorable. "Shall we go in? I hope you're hungry." He said gesturing the door.

"Yeah, I'm actually starving." You laughed. He chuckled and held the door for you, so you could get in. You walked in and both of your jaws dropped in shock. The restaurant, Johnny's pick, was fancier than you had ever been, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, gourmet plates on each table, while the floor was made from marble, gold details decorating every corner. And that would be fine you see, if Johnny had actually told you where you guys would be going but no, he kept it to himself and let you both be completely underdressed for the situation.

"Um, Minhyuk, I don't think we're very fitting for this place." You said, nervously, while glancing at him.

He turned to look at you and said a small, "Hey, wanna get out of here?" to which you smiled and said, "I though you'd never ask."

So this is how you ended up at McDonald's, sitting in a corner booth, eating chicken nuggets and fries, laughing your hearts out at little stories you both shared with each other.

"I can't believe they actually did that." Minhyuk said, choking up from laughter.

"Honestly, it's Johnny and Taeil, what would you expect?" you replied, raising your eyebrow at that, while popping a fry in your mouth.

"You're right, I should know better." He agreed, "Hey I'll go get myself another milkshake so I can dip my fries, want one?"

"Nah, I think I'm full, I should probably stop eating." you said and he laughed getting up and going towards the cashier. Your eyes followed his back and you couldn't help but the small sad smile that creeped up your lips. You were having so much fun, but you know that you couldn't offer him anything other than friendship at this point and you knew he knew as well. You could tell by the way he didn't try anything with you, something you appreciated a lot. You sighed and your mind drifted back to Jaehyun as you wondered what he was doing. You suddenly heard familiar voices making your eyes go wide and your heartbeat increase. One was Johnny's and the other one was no other than Jaehyun's. At first they didn't notice you sitting a few feet away from them, until they reached the cashier and saw Minhyuk waiting on the line. Johnny's eyes went as wide as yours and he quickly scanned the place to see if you were there as well, freezing when he saw you looking at them. Jaehyun alarmed at his friend's reaction, looked at the direction of what made Johnny white as a ghost and mirrored his expression when he saw you sitting there. He looked bad. Really bad. His face looked like he had aged at least five years, black circles decorating his beautiful eyes. His appearance was dissevered, almost as if he hadn't left the house in days. He reminded you of yourself, when you were alone in your house, dealing with your thoughts. Could it be..?

Minhyuk seeing the whole situation, quickly greeted the boys and skipped towards you in attempt to get you out of the place as fast as he could. To be honest, he really liked you and had fun with you, besides knowing that your heart belonged to Jaehyun still. And he was okay with that, he would cherish your friendship a lot if you were willing to give this to him. Johnny had filled him in with the information earlier, so he knew that you being in this situation right now would not be good for you, that's why when he reached you he took your hand, pulled you on your feet, asking you if you were okay softly.

"Can we get out of here please?" You croaked out, voice too weak to be heard.

"Yes, yes of course." He said and took your bag, guiding you out. You hadn't even walked two steps out of the door when you heard your name being called out. You froze and pretended that you hadn't heard anything, while you kept walking.

"He's calling for you." Minhyuk said, trying to keep up with you, a task that was kinda difficult considering it had started snowing while you were inside. That wouldn't stop you though, because your desire to be away from Jaehyun right now was bigger than any difficulty you were facing.

"I know. I just can't face him right now. I'm so sorry for ruining this night." You said apologetically, looking at the ground.

"Hey," he said softly, reaching for your elbow with his hand and stopping you from walking away, "you didn't ruin anything. I think it would be good for you to talk to him though, see what he wants. I know you still love him Y/N, you will always love him." He said, kissing your head and ruffling your hair. This action, gave Jaehyun the time to reach you guys, panting, nose and ears red as a tomato.

"You should talk to her, however if I hear you are causing trouble I won't hesitate to step in." Minhyuk said sternly, giving Jaehyun a threatening pat on the back, while he went to sit on a bench nearby were Johnny was looking at the scene unfold.

"Hi." Jaehyun said, hesitantly, "How have you been?"

"Good. You?" You replied curtly.

"I'm okay, I guess. I don't even know." He said, fiddling with the ring on his fingers. The ring you had gifted him on your one year anniversary.

"Y-you're still wearing that?" You said, in disbelief. To anyone that passed the street, the scene probably looked romantic. A young couple, that tried to shrug off the nerves of the first date probably, but the truth was far worse than that. You could feel yourself breaking the walls that you build once again and you hated that. You hated how he could barge into your life at any point and take your heart by storm.

"Yeah. I am." He said, scratching the back of his neck. "I see you're dating again. I hope he makes you happy." He said, a hint of jealousy lacing his voice.

"Me? Oh no. Minhyuk and I are just friends. He's leaving in a few days either way." You said, shrugging. Jaehyun looked almost relieved at that, leaving you very confused.

"Hey, can we go sit down for a while?" He said pointing at a bench under some cherry blossoms a few feet away. "I need to say something."

"I don't know Jaehyun. There isn't really anything to say." You said, not being completely sure of your feelings at the exact moment.

"Please. 5 minutes. That's all I ask." He said, desperately, his eyes looking for your eyes, in attempt to convince you. And he did, so you sighed and said a soft okay.

You walked to the bench in silence and you took a seat as far away from him as you could. Ah, stupid Y/N that was a bad idea. You could smell his perfume, a smell you missed incredibly much, giving you a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. You both stayed silent for a while, unable to find words to say to each other until Jaehyun broke the silence.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I didn't know what I was doing Y/N. Everything was so much at the time. The practices, the hectic schedule, the fact that I almost never saw you. I thought I didn't love you anymore, when in face I never stopped. I just missed you and instead of thinking about it, I acted carelessly." He said and you turned around to face him, not believing what you were being told.

"You missed me? You still loved me? Then why Jaehyun? Why go and fuck around?" You said, the anger of the past coming back up. "I missed you too, yet I stayed faithful to you."

"I know. I know you did. I know I'm an asshole and that I don't deserve you. I'm not trying to take the blame off myself, I know I'm the only one to blame. I just was so lost. I felt that I wasn't good enough for anything. I wasn't good enough for you. I took my own insecurities on you and hurt you. But you were, and are, the only person who knows me better than I know myself. I was ashamed of my thoughts and I knew that you could see right through me. So I distanced myself from you, at first, to keep this image of myself hidden from you. At least until I could stop being like that. And then I missed your love and affection, and that was when I started looking for it elsewhere. And it was never the same, but I was so confused that I was okay with it. I didn't even notice when I became that person. I'm- I'm so sorry." He said, his voice breaking, tears rolling down his cheeks.

You were in no better condition. You didn't even notice when you had started crying, both from sadness and love for the boy in front of you. You instinctively reached out for Jaehyun's hand, the warmth feeling familiar, calming you down a bit.

"Jae.. I really don't know what to say. Nor what to do. I tried so hard to forget you Jaehyun. I really did. And I can't do that and it breaks my heart. But I don't know what I should do about that, I don't know what would be best." You said, your thumb caressing his palm.

Jaehyun looked at you and placed his palm on the side of your head, you leaning your head to rest on it.

"I love you. I never stopped. I understand if you don't want anything to do with me and I'll respect that, but if you could give me a second chance I promise you, you won't regret it." He pleaded, getting closer to you. You knew you should have gotten up and walked away. You knew those beautiful eyes had the power to hurt you again and leave you more broken than before, but for some reason you couldn't bring yourself to move from your spot. Truth was, you missed Jaehyun so much. There hasn't been a day those past 6 months, when you didn't think of him. Your love for him was so big that you were willing to risk your sanity just so you could wake up next to him one more day, as stupid as that made you look.

"I want to Jae. You have no idea how much I've missed you. But I don't know if I can trust you again. It's going to be very hard and I don't know if it will be worth it in the end." You said, letting go of his hand and placing it on your lap.

"We'll take it slow. We'll take it as slow as you want to take it. I'll do anything to make you trust me again. Just, please. Please be mine again. I miss the way you look every morning with your hair tangled up and your cheeks muffled in the pillow. I miss the way you scrunch your little nose when you are confused. I miss the way you make fun of me when I have my "practice" face on. I miss your smell. I miss the way taste of strawberries from your chapstick when I kiss you. I miss you. Please." He said and you started crying all over again. God, you needed to get a grip of your emotions smh.

"Are you willing to wait for me? Wait till I can trust you again?" You said, with a small sigh.

"I'm willing to wait fifty years if that means you'll be mine again." He said caressing your cheek and wiping away your tears.

"Okay then. I hope you don't make me regret it." You said, trying to smile through the tears.

"You won't. In fact, let's start all over again." He said and got up. "Hi, I'm Jaehyun, is this seat taken?" He said and gestured next to you.

"Hi, I'm Y/N. No, it's not you can seat here." You said laughing. Jaehyun grinned, his dimples full on display, while he took your hand, pulling you up towards him, while he hugged you, spinning you in circles, the snow falling all around you.

In the distance, Johnny smiled at the sight, hoping that none of you would break each other's hearts again.

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