#im fuckying back
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BITCHES AND HOES, ME, THE QUEEN KILLER, POSTED A NEW LUPIN III FANFIC, GO CHECK IT OUT, GO KUDO GO GO GO
#meme#funny#tumblr#lgbtq#gay#shipp#fandom#ao3#ao3 fanfic#fanfiction#famfiction memes#lupin III#lupin iii fanfiction#lupin x jigen#im back#im fuckying back#thank you for the support#archive of our own#archive of my own#accidental death note
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disarm. dismantle. disable.
#hi fi rush#chai hi fi rush#hi fi rush chai#my art#heh. disarm.#yes i have been amusing myself for the past 5 days thinking about this caption#I WANT TO DO THINGS. TO HIM.#MY BLOODLUST HAS BEEN GOING *HAYWIRE* OVER THIS PLANK OF DUDE#i want to concuss him. do fucky things to him. like i dunno upload a limewire virus into him. incapacitate him.#like exploding his arm.#im holding back so i dont sound completely deranged.#i have to chew on him. gnaw a limb off. for my enrichment.
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finished up the last of my comms and pried myself away from slime rancher 2 . kamal
#got a new tablet for chrimmy btw. just got it set up#pressures fucky im still figuring it out#first drawing of the new year AND with my new tablet. cool#HAHA BTW HAVE I EVER MENTIONED HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS GAME#smile for me#smile for me game#kamal bora#the last time i drew s4m art was waay back in 2019/early 2020#art
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(guy with chronic migraines voice) you will never guess what unfortunate circumstance has befallen me today.
#ow. :/#rimi talks#i want to keep working on the final scene in tcos ch3 but my eyes AND my fucky arm both want me dead. alas....!!!#i mean im still gonna do it but i need to manage to get myself. my laptop. my tea. and my snacky#all back to my room. im currently a lump on the couch in the living room with my laptop but he's almost dead.#tea is in the pot on the stove. snaccy is in the pantry. you see how this is many steps#AND on top of it all my poor dog will want to follow me but he hurt his paw and he's limping#and i feel SO bad going anywhere but the living room bc he wants to follow me but it clearly hurts him to do so!!!#and i cannot carry him bc he is 90 lbs 😭#this is a struggle household today
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Ofc he posts this shit when im in this fucky wucky ass landromat doing my fucky wucky ass laundry and got another fucky wucky ass 40 minutes waiting for ts to dry im so
#and NO i cant go home bc I live 30 minutes away and once i open that fucky wucky ass door im gonna have to turn my ass back around and come#right back im#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse
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really channeled my inner yassified!howdy today via being practically comatose all day due to Migraine, then as soon as i woke up i demolished so many tacos in one sitting. he's just like me fr
#also might i say that its fucking evil that i got two bad migraines in the span of three days#like what the fuck was that? who authorized it!#usually i get at Least a month between them!#but nooooooo this week in particular said Fuck Ya Life#and on Update Eve too smh....#i was ready to like... perhaps share excitement with people.... answer some asks with silly scribbles... nope!#for reference the migraine hit a little before 11 am#and the pain stopped around.... 6-7 pm#it took my whole day! the absolute nerve!!!#and now my brain's gonna be fucky tomorrow... On The Day.....#nightmare nightmare nightmare-#absolutely unprompted#no but seriously i was so fucking hungry. i INHALED those tacos like idk if i breathed#i had a very small teensy breakfast and then Pain Pain Pain and then a quick snooze to recover some energy#and then it was after 9!!! and i hadnt eaten Anything!!!#man i fuckin hate migraines...#it always takes a full day after to recover. steals two every time smh smfh#looking at butterfly!howdy: you're just like me... im just like you....#at least i finished a celebratory Art for tomorrow b4 the Graine! tis queued! idk if i like it but im posting it anyway!#now if yall will excuse me im gonna fuck around for a bit and then go back to sleep#i need my strength & energy for tomorrow
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i am not immune to girl sweat .
#I dont fucking know what im doing i just slapped shapes&colors back there#it was just a quick thing for my wife#it’s still fucky sorry#scary#my art#self harm tw
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Horror warning for the first image!
and for a full 180 from my last art post, a bit of sketch concept work for some other designs in Aitheaca LMAO ft. ideas for Merina’s eldritch form and an early draft of Mianite, the keeper of the refuge and Dianite, the banished god :D
+ Bonus initial sketches for Mer! I feel like I can be looser with pencil than in digital so a lot of my design work usually starts off on paper before i do a digital version. The main thing I wanted to get was the many eyes motif I see in a lot of the watcher!grian designs i was inspired by, and I landed on the notion that maybe the scales turn into eyes? Idk
#mianite: the tales of aitheaca#merina coraldragon#tw eye horror#cw eye contact#cw eye strain#cw eyestrain#tw body horror#lots of fucky elements in this design if i missed a tag lemme know#she uses both forms.. imagine being flash and waking up to one of those things DUDE#lord mianite#lord dianite#im still workin out the lore for these two but the gist is that#mianite runs the refuge where cass guys live#dianite’s locked away in a similar fashion to how Ianite was in S1#i wanted to give him a lava liquid form as well that he kind of can go back n forth from#and mianite like a water form#thats how theyve learned to hide from Ianite#lots of little details in Mia and Dia’s design#im sorta prepping to do the gods lineup like how i did the 4 cast#lafakiwi draws#gkm arts#anyhoozers enjoy <3 since i promised these#sketches#mianite au#concept art#worldbuilding#character design
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@us-costco-official EXPLAIN??? https://archiveofourown.org/works/51574567/chapters/130357339 /pos
#WHEN SOMEONE WRITES SOMETHING BASED OFF UR WORK#I HAVENT READ IT BECAUSE IM SHAKING SO MUCH I QUITE LITERALLY CANT#IM SO FUCKI HMM G EXCITDD FOR WHEN I Cn#trobed#TRANNY BARNZALEX#AJSKLDKDKDKD#FUCK WHYS PIERCE X KURTIS THERE????#SCREATCHING#I CANT EXPRESS HOW#AlSo 3 works in troy/danny so slay#KSKSKS THE TITLEvvvv???? CALL BACK TO MY FANART#slay
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Im going to give my parents shaken baby syndroms Im- hhhhhhhh vent :3 (gonna put any warning stuffs in tags)
I am so just- am eepy. I want to sleep. It is fucking 2:30 in the morning. But I cannot! Because I am hungry! And my body is fucking not doing good! And I can not do anything about it because I do not have food.
But for whatever reason!! My mother!! Who eats the least in this household!! Continually has her stuff stocked!! She fucking- eats like two of the jif to go cups of peanut butter for lunch. And that is like- her lunch. And that just fucking works for her. Which is because she got fucking weight loss surgery.
Im
Hhhhhhhhhhhh
I do not have enough food. And honestly I probably havent had enough food in months. Because instead of eating i sleep. Because my body shuts down. And I am trying *so hard* to get across to my parents that I need food. I am- hhhhh honestly prolly qualifying as anorexic speaking strictly on eating patterns. Which ik for sure my mom is.
And also my irl friend keeps talking about hes gonna starve himself. And im- hhhhh. Theres so many fucking tjings going on with him and theyre bad and I havent talked about them and im going to fucking lose my mind. But thats not even what im focused on right now.
I dont know if i can continue physical therapy. Because it is not guaranteed that i have food. And my parents say that money is tight. But my mother is constantly getting a bunch of stuff. And we have so much shit. And im- i camt handle all of this.
I cant ask for anything without being told that im asking for a lot. My mom ordered in dinner for me and my brother the other night bc she got a thing through work and i asked for what I know would be enough for me and I got told that thats too expensive. Which i understand. The cost of shit is fucking insane. But there is so much fucking focus on cost and portion size and “oh tjat costs too much” “oh youre asking for a lot” “dont forget that this is what a portion size” and even fucking talk of like calories and checking even though i ask for that to not happen.
People tell me to take some of their food because they have plenty and I get it but Im fucking terrified. My mom had locked up a shit ton of food when i was a kid including freezers. Which to this day still have the locks by them. And if im caught she wont hesitate to do it again. I cant go through that again.
I know I cant really get out. Im genuinely scared of my parents. I- cant. I cant get out. I cant leave stuff. Im terrified. Fuck i don’t remember ever not being scared of my mom in some capacity. And my dads way more passive but sometimes he yells and I just- cant do it. And i hate that what they do works. I get shoved into being this fucking doormat of a person.
Honestly I dont think I ever really got to be a person. I still dont super feel like one. I dont have complete control over myself. I dont feel like i have free will. Which sucks. I wanma be my own person. I wanna learn what itd feel like to be able to be myself for even a day. Im- just lost a lot of the time.
The only good thing I know for sure is coming out of this is that I know my depression medication works. Im pretty sure most of my issues with functioning are from malnutrition issues. And im def not suicidal or having thoughts of sh which is really nice!! Plus I know I have a very supportive group of friends online that I love very much
Wuheiwhe speaking of friends- angy about irl friend. He fucking- complained to me that he gets upset when i vent about shit at home cause hes gonna get kicked out when he turns 18. Which likw- i get it. The threat of being homeless is horrible. But if your thought process while you have fucking unwatched access to a credit card and can essentially have whatever the fuck you want while im saying i dont fucking have food at home is “well at least you have a home” IS FUCKING INSANE. Especially because you have already gathered almost $1000 in cash amd still have like 11 months to figure shit out. Your future situation sucks but that should not take away empathy for my current situation??? Where i am??? Not getting fed enough???
I understand that your homelife is shit and your family is fucked. However, you almost never get told no. Which is really fucking obvious!!! Because you wont take any of my nos for an answer!!! And tbh youre kinda financially abusive!!! I hear how you talk to your bf which is fucking insane and i hate it. And when you talk about how you pay for gas when im using my parents cars and they need to be filled and i say were driving around too much and using a lot of gas you go “well its my gas” No!! It isnt!! That is not how that works!! And just because you pay for the fucking gas WHEN YOU HAVE ME DRIVING FUCKING ALL OVER THE PLACE BECAUSE I LITERALLY CANNOT GWT YOU TO UNDERSTAND IM SAYING NO does not kean you pay for the rest of the fucking car!!! You also!! Make jokes about taking back gifts!! Because you paid for them!! Which is shitty as fuck!! And its not even your fucking koney its your grandmas money and you got fucking pissed and bitchy when Ive mentioned that when talking about it being different when one of our friends took advantage of us for money because you are just handed it and the stuff i had i workwd for, in a job that started the decline of my physical wellbeing. Its not the same fucking thing.
Im
Shaking. I want to scream. I cant. Handle everything. I dont want to have to be here and dealing with all of this.
And anothwr fucking tjing about ky friend- he gets pissy when me or his boyfriend accidentally leave garbage in his room. Which i get a little but then he doesnt take care of it either!! And then he has shit there all the time!! Including multiple unfinished starbucks drinks that have grown mold!!! Why do you keep getting the biggest fucking size when you know damn well you wont drink it.
And you keep fucking- i cant play therapist for you. You cannot constantly come crying to le about your bf and talking about how you should break up with him AND THEN GET KAD AT ME FOR SUGGESTING YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM
Im not- i cant. Im
Im violently angry. And i want to sleep. Amd i wamt to be able to have food. And i want my oarents to love me and understand me. Or even fucking- to try. At all. I want my physical wellbeing to matter. But it doesnt. In multiple different ways. And its all just so bad all the time and i try and tune it out but it slips through.
Im having trouble remember things. Its bad. Im- i cant use my brain as well as i know i should be able to. Im- idk. I just cant fucking deal with this. Except im still going to. Im complaining but theres mot kuch i can change.
I hate feeling like im breaking all the time. I want to be able to be loved and be a person and have a home!!! I have a roof over my head. And i appreciate that so much. But this is absolutely not a home. And its very much not welcoming for me. And I just- I perpetually have the feeling of “i want to go home” with no home to go to. And its been like that for most of my life. And I just- really want to have a home.
#vent#tw vent#this was originally about ky parents but it tirned into a generalized thing#ummm#tw disordered eating#tw eating issues#financial abuse#fuckinggg#emotional abuse#???#shit gets fucky idk#my brains not- doing well#also im actively running away from server friends in this post#i love you guys#just#being vulnerable is hard and i hold back as much as i can#when were on call or whatever#scared of complaining too much and pushing people away again#pls dont leave lol
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I <3 transmasc Wendy because it adds another thing to the kid who does not know how to handle anything being thrown into everything pile but instead of a thing like dead sister it's the prospect that he kind of likes having short hair and the idea of being a guy and it still makes him feel like the world is ending until suddenly the ppl around him are just like fine with it and everything is like cool actually and he melts over that too until finally he's just a normal baby trans person and can get back to being bad at coping with his other hashtag issues again
#rat rambles#starve posting#like I do have dead serious wendy trans thoughts tm even some that actually relate to his quotes high bar I know gkfndkd#its just so fun reading him as a trans egg thats one breakdown away from being smashed#and also gives me some yummy tasty thoughts abt both wendy and abby and the inivertable fact that as time goes on the only remnant of#abby's face is going to shift and change more until it can no longer even be a reminder of what was lost#which must be a Horrifying idea to wendy even if chances are he hasn't rly internalized this concept yet#and for abby especially if you're like me and go for a more silhouette style ghost design for her youve gotta imagine how fucky it is to#watch your twin grow up and change in ways you never will#Im also a agender abby who will likely never realize believer because shes just like younger me fr#like shes low key just me as a little kid but without the anxiety disorder#anyways back to the topic of wendy genderism Im honestly surprised Ive never seen a he/him wendy hc before#Im not surprised at not finding any trans guy wendys but there rly isnt much variety in nonbinary wendys despite it being fairly common#I just like trans guy wendy cause he gives me those vibes#its the weird little girl to cringe fail trans man pipeline or smth idk#give him a couple years eventually he'll be a grimy lil freak of a teenage boy#if abby didnt die and knew abt gender stuff itd still take her 30 years minimum to even consider she might be not a girl maybe#not because she's hard in denial abt gender stuff shes just is in the classic headspace of 'well I dont Think I care so I must be cis ig'#same with my aro abby hcs but walter is super not helping#as Ive said before they are aro echo chamber besties dont try to tell them romance is real they will not believe you#hey better then whateve the fuck wendy would have to go through if one of the trans men around him offered solidarity#I would rather die than get advice from wilson are you kidding me#the only somewhat normal trans guy there is warly but hes french so it cancels out
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decided to cave and name my nergi plushie after vodrem. that was, predictably, a Mistake
#mar.txt#oc tag: vodrem#his tupper thing on discord uses the nergi plush as the icon so like i associate it with him as is. so like i was like Why Not#and there was this little voice in the back of my head that was like 'lol you shouldn't do that giving his name to the plushie will give him#power' a la supernatural entities#lo and fucking behold after i decided to start calling the plushie by his name red dead online starts being fucky (vodrem ate an entire#fucking train on the bounty mission my friend and i were on. Just The Train he deposited the people on the track but the train? gone)#and then my wifi shat itself for no reason later on#shitpost#stupid fucking eldritch horror im going to name a horse after him in rdo and it's going to be a Mistakr
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doodling kon supernova outfit ideas with important side-notes such as "he HAS to be the most fuckable person at the alien invasion!!!" and "tim drake found dead in miami"
#the problem with drawing. is that my fucky wucky arm does Not appreciate my attempts at doing it for long#so ive been picking at these doodles for days#tonight i outlined them in ink between dbd matches and im pleased though. its been a longass time since ive used my drawing pens#well. one pen. i used one pen tonight.#im not like........... GOOD at drawing bc i cant practice it too regularly. but i do have fun with it B)#anyway points at kon. if he cant have a slutty little back window whats the point#rimi talks
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i have a front tooch gap btw. if you even care.
#ollie rambles#yes ive had braces no they didnt work out#because my facial structure a lil fucky so my chin is farther back than it should be assumedly a birth defect#but it doesnt show besides in my side purrofile which is odd#im really self conscious about it because my mom used to say it was ugly
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went to an appointment to feel out getting contacts, knowing that my eyes are fucked up and i would need to special order something, and knowing it would be bad
found out that it's extra bad, lads
i didn't even know they MADE contact lenses that last for a whole year in just one pair. lenses that you might need to take somewhere to get POLISHED?
#rgps#rigid gaspermeables#I've tried gaspermeables before bc my eyes are fucked and thats what they did at the time for fucky eyes#and i was 11 and they hurt and they got stuck once so that put me off them#tried again a few years back and managed to get over my fear enough to take them out and put them in consistently#but didnt end up getting more than the sample#bc i was told that theyd need to special order my prescription#and knowing that i COULD wear contacts was enoufb#enough of a victory for me#and i was content to stick with glasses and not pay more money#anyway my eyes are fucked twice so i need Extra Fucked Lenses#i have Real Bad Astigmatism and i have Real Bad Negative Vision (like -12.75 and -13.25?)#if it was just one and not the other theyd still need to be special ordered but they wouldnt be as weird#theyd be like. yknow. every other type of contact ive ever heard of. wear out after a month or so.#but bc its both. i need a special prescription for my special eyes.#and oh boy is it costly#but i think. im gonna try it. with hesitance and consternation.
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cali and I on our starkgaryen propaganda, as always
#♛ ooc. ⊱ ❝ 𝘖𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘪. ❞#parallels parallels parallels#the world NEEDS them to be balanced#I’m just saying!! things didn’t start getting mystically fucky again until they started killing the targs and starks !!#suspicious timing of the Others coming back!! IM JUST SAYING !!!!
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