#if you saw me post and delete this yesterday no you didnt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

garfinkelstingle · 10 months

Note

Hi! I absolutely love your fics, could you do a fake insta fic with timothee? The face claim being Rachel Zegler with she/her pronouns. Thanks!

pairing: timothee chalamet x fem!reader

a/n: nonnie there is no excuse as to why this took me so long apart from the fact that i was in a slump... but now i am (sorta) not! i hope you guys like it and have a great day & week xxx (also some of these "posts" are very self-indulgent AND i'm going to the eras tour twice next year so i'm just so excited aaahhhh!!!!!!)

masterlist

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, florencepugh and 2,391,382 others

yourinstagram miscast23 gala!! loved every second of it (and not just because i felt like a million bucks in this dress)

view all 328,382 comments

tchalamet how are you real???

*liked by yourinstagram

tchalamet like i'm serious it should be illegal to be this good-looking my gOd

yourinstagram babe stfu 😭

yourfan36 THEYRE SO CUTE WHAT

yourfan89 mommy? sorry, mommy?

haileesteinfeld hot stuff

yourinstagram 🫶🏼🫶🏼

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, zendaya and 1,382,932 others

tchalamet felt cute, won't delete later cause my girlfriend won't let me

view all 129,239 comments

timmyfan16 as she should(n't?)

yourinstagram can you blame me????

*liked by tchalamet

timmyfan38 y/n better be prepared to fight because d a m n

zendaya looking fine mr

*liked by tchalamet

timmyfan29 thanks for this blessing

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, taylorswift and 3,248,422 others

yourinstagram ERAS TOUR BABY!!!!!!! thanks for all the friendship bracelets guys <3333

view all 831,321 comments

swiftie13 y/n being a swiftie will forever be my favorite thing about her

tchalamet miss americana

yourinstagram & her heartbreak prince

yourfan78 im literally so jealous i couldn get tickets rip

timmyfan62 I WAS AT THE SAME SHOW I SAW Y/N AND TIMMY DANCING AND SINGING THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE SET it was insane

yournamenews

liked by yourfan92 and 28,492 others

yournamenews Y/N via her Instagram story yesterday

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yourfan73 she's so insane for this 😭😭

yourfan15 i thought this was fake at first but she even put it in her highlight????

timmyfan39 wish i had someone who looked at me the way timmy looks at y/n ughhh

yourfan26 oh we're being fed fed

yourinstagram

liked by dylanobrienfp, tchalamet and 5,218,329 others

yourinstagram breaking news: dylan o'brien spotted with fan

view all 1,323,429 comments

yourfan27 she's just like me fr

tchalamet we took pictures too?? why didnt you post them???

yourinstagram because you have yet to star in teen wolf silly

sadiesink ❤️

*liked by yourinstagram

timmyfan98 the fact that my two (three) faves had dinner together yesterday has done more for my mental health than my parents ever did

yourfan36 not y/n being a teen wolf girlie too omg

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, tomholland2013 and 2,492,449 others

tchalamet captionless

view all 52,443 comments

timmyfan26 it's the hand in the hairs for me

yourfan18 not y/n liking this the second he posted it my PARENTS

yourinstagram actual loml (maybe show your face next time so i dont feel so weird for saying that)

tchalamet so you DO only want me for my looks huh??

yourinstagram actually your bank account is a slightly bigger selling point 🤭

timmyfan15 this picture has no right to make me feel the way it does

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, haileesteinfeld and 4,238,329 others

yourinstagram oscars 2023 screaming crying punch me in the face?????? MY SPIDEY TINGLE IS STILL IN OVERDRIVE

view all 983,328 comments

tchalamet what's it with you and posting pictures with strikingly handsome men???

yourinstagram i would post you more if one of us didn't look like a fart in every single one of our pictures

tchalamet more wallpapers for me ig

*liked by yourinstagram

andrewfan84 MY TWO BABIES INTERACTED AAHHH

yourfan92 spiderman stan's really won today huh

tomholland2013 you never seem this excited to see me 🥲

yourinstagram ily to the moon and to saturn tom but,,, it's the AMAZING SPIDERMAN

*liked by tomholland2013

tchalamet

liked by yourinstagram, florencepugh and 3,492,294 others

tchalamet this is MY goofball girlfriend, whom i love almost as much as i love her dog. thanks for coming to my ted-talk.

view all 383,327 comments

yourinstagram you're so unserious for this what???

yourinstagram i do love u though and i'm even ok with you loving me less than rosco bc i will never love a human being more than i love that dog xxx

tchalamet 💔💔💔

timmyfan64 i love them sm

oliviarodrigo loving the rosco content yes!!!!

*liked by yourinstagram, tchalamet

yourfan87 if i'm not invited to the wedding i would 110% understand it but please invite me to the wedding

yourinstagram

liked by tchalamet, chrisevans and 7,324,432 others

yourinstagram how do u like the new haircut???

view all 1,483,432 comments

yourfan52 excuse me WHAT

yourfan98 i think i officially died and went to heaven

tchalamet personally i think that the earrings are the highlight of this picture

yourinstagram really? i feel like the painting of a square in the back makes my eyes pop

timmyfan25 what are they even talking about at this point???

florencepugh loving the chop!

*liked by yourinstagram

selenagomez cuties

yourinstagram 💖

yourfan83 adopt me pls i'm not even joking at this point

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dailyjokerp5 · 6 months

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if you saw me post this yesterday then delete it no you didnt

#daily joker doodles

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huecycles · 1 year

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deleted the post because honestly, doing callouts was never something i'd envision myself doing, even if i was (am) very upset about the situation.

i also don't want the whole thing to spiral out of control, and i really didnt wanna make a public post in the first place. i was just at the end of my rope and have been for past few months. this literally all started due to me getting attacked all day long yesterday for posting trans utdr art to my youtube community tab, so yeah you can guess what happened. lots of blatant transphobia to deal with, and AGAIN the usual: people arguing with me on kris' pronouns, say i'm "disrespectful" and "shoving headcanons down people's throats" and "alienating" people or whatever bullshit, to like 41% jokes. i was understandably stressed out. so when i was informed about the post they made, i simply lost it. the coincidences were just too damn strong to ignore.

i still saw no reason to attack determinators for my own bad day and was willing to hear them out and hoping to god it was all a stupid misunderstanding. if they're telling the truth about the "dess theory stealing" not being about me, i understand the fact they didnt take any screenshots because of course why would they have. and i completely understand and relate to their paranoia regarding the 4chan incident, i really do. what happened to them was absolutely disgusting and inexcusable.

i am however done with this situation because i have way too much going on in my life right now (i will discuss these things more calmly probably through art or a video because.. i kinda want/need to and have been bottling it up for a while) and i honestly don't care anymore about whether or not the post was referring to me. it doesn't matter anymore, this isn't great for my mental health and making a callout post only complicates things as i'm not really on board with this stuff myself. so i deleted it which i think was the right thing to do, and want to leave this behind. that's all i have to say on this tbh

#txt #i'd really appreciate if they weren't attacked for this #like seriously. i dont advocate for that shit #making that post was a mistake and i'm fixing it now #i dont want to hear of them anymore however #not because i like hate them or anything #i'm just done with the situation it stressed me out #so please don't bring them up again #especially on my social media #thank you

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ankhisms · 9 months

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ok so the other day i was looking thru my queueuee just a little bit (not all of it bc theres 900 posts in there) and deleting some posts that i didnt really want to reblog anymore/retagging things and i saw this image again and i desperately want that red buster plushie. but my dillemma is that i KNOW that super sentai shows from the 2010s like gobusters didnt get cute marketable plushies like zenkaiger/donbros/kingoh have gotten. so i was like okay where did this plushie come from is it a custom order thing and i stopped thinking about it and then yesterday evening i had an epiphany. i realized that i had never looked up merch for the power rangers show they made out of the gobusters suit footage.

and it was a fucking treasure trove because first of all i found incredibly endearing old 90s power ranger plushies and other toys which were very wonky and very cute and i love them but also this is important to me because toei never made any action figures of my beloved computer freak duo sadly. i have scoured the face of the earth to figure out if toei and bandai ever made escape and enter suit action figures and im about 99.9% sure that they never did. but you know who fucking did? thats right baby

i choked on the chips i was eating when i saw these like HEY THATS MY FUCKING WEIRDO

but even more important than this are these right beneath the awful computer guy

THEY GAVE USADA CARROT GUNS AND A HELICOPTER FUNCTION AND THEY GAVE NICK A FUCKING BAZOOKA

so anyway that was my adventure last night. unfortunately i did not find any plushies for gobusters and i want the one in the original picture desperately so if you know where the hell i can get my grubby hands on one let me know thanks

#gobusters lb

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lolexjpg · 25 days

Note

logan is in a relationship?

its funny bc actually yesterday i made a post abt this speculation abt him dating this girl being talked abt a lot on tiktok, and then deleted it bc i didnt like the wording so now i guess i'll rehash it here?

its very interesting bc i NEVER saw this speculation cross over onto tumblr (until now, with the picture of her w/ logan at the football game, which is not really speculation just an objectively true thing that happened)

anyway before this there were ppl on tiktok were insisting theyre 100% dating, which annoyed me bc at the time it was Very Very weak evidence, and while we STILL do not know for sure, but the picture of them together at the hockey game at least forces to me entertain the possibility.

the evidence before today was mostly just her being in bali the same time logan was in bali and being at a few car events, which i would say, is circumstantial. idk i really dislike this modern sleuthing phenomenon to figure out if people are dating instead of um. just waiting for them to be openly public about it. it just feels like an invasion of privacy. (i felt this way abt marcus and lissie before they went public too)

ANYWAY i have just used this ask as a soapbox to complain about an internet phenomenon i dislike that is loosely related to your question. the answer is maybe? she was with him at this hockey game, and then there's a variety of circumstantial evidence on social media linking them together which you can interpret however you like. right now im in this 'im gonna start warming up to the idea of it NOW, and if it all turns out to be untrue, no harm done' mode. because i do personally find the picture of them at the hockey game together as rather compelling evidence towards them dating. but i do acknowledge it's not definitive proof either

so that's the sitch!! if any other logan scholars want to weigh in with more info feel free!!

#i also. was very adamantly AGAINST the lissie/marcus rumors right up until they hard launched #so maybe i'm just trying to get in on the 'ok maybe i do believe it' early so i dont look like a clown later when its hashtag confirmed #only time will tell!!!! we'll see!!!!#ask #f1dump

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pastanest · 1 year

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if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @dreatine - thanks so much!! ♡

Eleven Minutes

7:20…

Spencer’s phone dings, snapping his vision away from scrutinising his reflection in the mirror.

“Ok, Im now leaving, see you there!”

A text. That’s how it all started, a single text from you. He remembers it like it was yesterday, but he remembers every single one of the 14 days since, even clearer. After 7 months of no communication, you appeared on his phone.

“Just saw the cutest dog in existence”

Of course he hadnt deleted your number, and your text proved you hadnt deleted his either, or maybe you had, but you’d memorised it. He’d replied with a single perplexed question mark, and you sent him another text in seconds.

“Seriously, look, you wont believe it”

With that one, you attached a picture of the dog you’d seen, and he realised what you were doing. Breaking the ice in the least awkward way possible. And you succeeded. Everyday since, you and Spencer have been exchanging casual texts, picking up right where you left off but in a way he’d never expected.

7:22…

He checks his reflection one more time in the mirror, fixing his hair and your favourite tie of his, before texting you a reply.

“Im on my way!”

It was like you’d never broken up. Spencer coped with not having an explanation for 7 days, then he couldnt take it. The curiosity was eating at him until he finally caved and called you.

7:24…

Spencer remembered the way his heart leapt, hearing your voice for the first time in so long. It brings a smile to his face as he locks his front door and begins walking down the street.

“Spence…it’s 2am, what in the world couldnt wait just a few more hours?” He could tell he’d woken you from a deep sleep, and he felt terrible, but he couldnt put this off any longer.

“This cant wait. Please.”

You cleared your throat, sensing the seriousness of his reasoning without even knowing what it was. “Okay, okay, what’s up?”

The question fell from his lips in a hurried jumble. “Why did you start talking to me again?”

Silence.

7:24…

The streetlights guide him, and he cant help seeing the coincidence within them. Spencer only ever notices how bright the world he is when you’re around.

That night, he took a breath, about to speak, but you finally answered.

“I missed you.”

And that was all he needed. He didnt question any further, and the two of you talked on the phone until the sun came up. He knew enough, and you could always read him like a book; he knew that you knew without even asking, your feelings were reciprocated, always.

7:26…

It was light night that Spencer suggested the two of you meet up for the first time in what felt like an eternity, and it was you who asked if it would be a date. That, he said, was up to you. Well then, I guess it’s a date, he recalls you chirping, his mind replaying your excitement, causing him to light up. Spencer looks down at the ground as he walks, to hide his expression in case anyone saw him walking alone and wondered why he was smiling so widely to himself.

7:28…

Round the corner is the bar you suggested meeting at, because it’s so close to where Spencer lives, so it’s one the two of you used to visit regularly. Like old times, he thinks blissfully. You arranged to meet at half past 7, and he’s close by, he doesnt want to arrive early or before you, he doesnt want to seem overly eager, so he stops.

7:30…

Leaning against the brick wall of the building behind the bar, Spencer lets his head roll back to look up at the night sky. He’s mere seconds away from being where you want him to be, where he’ll finally get to see you again. He wonders how this will work, is he supposed to greet you with a kiss on the cheek, or a hug? And at the end of the date, what happens in this scenario? Is kissing you too forward? Too soon? Spencer knows you better than anyone, but in this situation, when the two of you havent been in each other’s presence for so long, he doesnt know how much of you still responds to him in the same way. He doesnt want his excitement to be replaced by nervousness, he shakes his head and tries to focus on the positives. Like seeing your smile, hearing your voice and your laugh in person, looking into your eyes, making you blush, performing his cheesiest pickup lines so that you dramatically swoon before the two of you collapse into fits of laughter.

Scenes play out in Spencer’s head, making him dizzy in the best way, opening the door of the butterfly cage in his stomach. It’s time. His hands begin to shake lightly at his sides as he takes a deep breath and steps away from the wall, turning in the direction of the bar. But Spencer only manages to take a single step before the sound of a gunshot pierces the air, and his blood runs cold.

…7:21

Your eyes flick down from the street in front of you every few seconds as you await his reply. He might cancel, right now, he could get cold feet or realise this is a bad idea, he could-

A gentle smile overtakes your features as you read the text from Spencer. He’s going to be there, you’re really going to see each other again. Your cheeks flush pink at the thought of him just smiling at you, you feel like a high school girl with a crush, not an adult woman going on a date with her ex. That phrasing is so bitter, you shake your head, this is a good thing! It’s going to work itself out. You two will be fine, like you always are.

…7:23

Tucking your phone into your bag and zipping it shut, you nod to yourself as a mantra of positive thoughts towards this situation flood your mind, reassuring you that this is the right thing to you.

Last night you booked a hotel room down the street so that you could walk to the bar rather than have to rely on public transport. You want to arrive on time, early even, so that you dont miss a minute of tonight.

…7:25

You clutch the strap of your bag with one hand, your other hand flattening your dress against the gentle breeze. The material of the dress is soft, it’s technically a summer dress, not entirely weather appropriate for a colder-than-average night, but it doesnt matter. Spencer’s eyes used to fall out of his skull whenever he saw you in this dress. On the summer nights when he was working late and you’d show up at his desk, gifting him with food you’d prepared for him yourself. You’d keep him company until he was done with his work, keeping the smile on his face that he couldnt find the words to thank you for. Lost in thought, you tuck your hair behind your ears shyly, as though he’s smiling at you and calling you beautiful now, rather than in a memory.

…7:27

Another cool wind caresses you, and you’re quick to wrap your leather jacket further around yourself. A summer dress and a leather jacket, the best combination to reassure Spencer that you’re still the same badass who’s very obviously wholesome too. Exactly what you’re hoping he misses, even if he didnt verbally confirm that on the night you told him you missed him. Doubting is pointless and will only make you insecure, you remind yourself, Spencer suggested to meet, he replied to all your texts, he called you at 2am because you were on his mind. Everything is going to be fine, this is right.

…7:29

The warm glow from the lights beyond the bar windows greet you as you reach the building, and you lean against the wall. Looking over your shoulder, you peak in the windows, knowing Spencer wont be there since you arranged to meet outside, but wanting to check regardless. Just in case. You take your phone out of your bag to check the time. He only lives down the street, he’ll be here any second. You turn to face the direction you know he’ll be walking from, along the same street the two of you laughed down countless times, tipsy and serenading each other with whatever song you’d favoured on the bar playlist that night. Tucking your phone back in your bag, you let yourself relax. This will bring the two of you back together, where you belong.

“Hey there pretty girl, what’re you doing all by yourself?”

You roll your eyes at the voice behind you.

“Try to flirt with me again and I’ll rip your midget dick off.” You say without bothering to turn around, still waiting for Spencer to round the corner.

The voice behind you laughs. “I dont think it’s you that should be making threats here, sweetheart.”

The click of a gun takes you out of your badass state of mind. You slowly turn around, clutching the strap of your bag, annoyed at yourself for putting your phone away. Back when you and Spencer were together, he helped teach you how to call him with your phone behind your back. But that’s useless now.

“What do you want?” You ask, your voice less sharp, more negotiable.

The man tilts his gun towards your hip. “Your bag, it looks pretty expensive, and I need a ticket out of here, fast.”

You shake your head and take a step back. “No, I cant. There’s nothing of value in there, just sentimental stuff. Please, go, I wont tell anyone I saw-“

He cuts you off. “BULLSHIT! Give me your fucking bag!”

You nod and hold your hands up. “Okay, okay, calm down, let’s do this slowly. Im going to pass you my bag, but please lower your gun so you dont accidentally shoot me.”

He scoffs, but lowers his gun as you hold your bag out to him.

…7:31

He reaches for your bag, the moment seeming to pass in slow motion, until you take your chance. You yank your bag back to your side and make a run for it, knowing Spencer cant be far, he’ll protect you. A gunshot sounds before you make it round the corner, and before you have time to process it, you’re lying on the sidewalk.

Spencer runs down the street, reaching you in a few steps. He sees the man running down the street, the way your hands are still clinging to your bag as you lie on your side, and he puts the pieces together in less than a second. Crouching at your side, he gently takes ahold of your face with shaking hands. He’s always been so careful with you, but now so more than ever. Your eyes are closed, but you smile in recognition.

“(Y/N), stay with me, please!” Spencer pleads desperately, tears already cascading down his face at a rapid rate.

His hands make quick work of taking both of yours in one of his, which he then presses to the bullet wound in your side, while his other hand reaches for his phone and holds it to his ear. His report to emergency services is brief but informative, done in less than 20 seconds, before his full attention is back on you.

“I-I cant lose you again, not like this! Please, dont go!” Spencer sobs, using his now free hand to carefully move your hair out of your face.

“There’s something for you…in my bag.” Your voice is so quiet, so weak, as the pool of blood grows beneath you.

Spencer’s free hand digs through your bag, ignoring the feeling of things he expects to be there, like your house keys, until he finds a small piece of paper that’s folded in half.

“Open it.” You whisper, opening your eyes as much as you can, an exhausted squint watching him as he unfolds the paper.

Just in case I didnt have the balls to tell you tonight-

Spencer shakes his head. “I dont need to read this, you can tell me once we’re at the hospital, after a nap, okay?” His voice is as soft as yours, weak in an entirely different sense.

You smile up at him. “Even if that’s what happens next…I want you to read it. Didnt think I’d get to see your reaction to it, so I’ll take this chance. Please read it.”

Spencer sniffles and nods, reflecting your smile. “For you? Anything.”

He unfolds the paper again.

Just in case I didnt have the balls to tell you tonight, I still love you, Spence. I always have, and always will.

Spencer’s chin wobbles as fresh tears with an entirely different meaning fill his eyes. He doesnt waste another opportunity to verbally reciprocate feelings, and he clears his throat.

“I love you too, (Y/N). Always have, always will.” His voice is hoarse and shaky.

You grin up at him with everything you have, moving one of your hands away from your wound, Spencer having to loosen his hold on your hands in order to let you go. You lift your bloody hand to his cheek and he holds it there, nuzzling into your palm, neither of you caring about getting your blood on his face.

“Nice tie.”

Spencer parts his lips to reply, to tell you that you look beautiful in the dress he’d noticed you wearing as soon as he saw you, but your eyes flutter closed. He hadnt noticed just how big the pool of blood had gotten, it’s soaked through the knees of his suit trousers. His shaking hand goes to your neck, his fingers checking your pulse, desperate to detect any sign of life. But he doesnt feel anything. Except he does, he feels every aspect of his very being shatter, leaving him a shaking, sobbing mess. The gentle smile stays on your face, blue lights from the ambulance casting a glow on your beautiful face that makes you look even less alive. But Spencer doesnt hear the sirens, not over his own agonising screams. You are gone. If he had just walked around that corner, if he hadnt been so caught up in making a good impression on someone he already knew, he could have saved you. Or he could have taken your place. He’s without you, again, but this time in the worst way possible.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #imagine #imagines #x reader #criminal minds #fanfic #fanfiction #headcannon #Spotify

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zeltqz · 7 months

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no ms girl its actually true i dmed you some posts to see the evidence 😭😭 i dont blame you for not knowing because i didnt believe it either but i dug around and found out its true!!! e

yes omfg i saw the dms and i feel so dumb bro. i got mad yesterday bc this happened to my other mutual not even five months ago they got their name falsely accused and they ended up deleting their account and i havent spoken to them since may ☹ i had to contact them on WATTPAD....

so i thought this was another case of salty anons being petty and rude asf for no reason to drive creators off the app. i was projecting more than i shouldve and i realise that now so im sorry <3

i feel like sucha dumbass man i took down the posts bc i didnt wanna instigate more than i shouldve but i know now and ew...such nasty behaviour from her end 🤢🤮

its just a fanfiction app idk why ppl have to be so rude to each other all the time

from now on ima stay out of drama until i know more so if ur gna be like the previous anon and tell me any drama going on show me evidence before i make an opinion on something i dont wanna come off as rude or bitchy again ��😭😭

#this app stresses me tf out sometimes man #so many ppl getting exposed and driven off for what reason #i might take a break soon anyway every day i log on more shit happening and more of my mutuals are disappearing #not even fun anymore

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frosnpls · 1 year

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cw rhory (and suicide) talk again and general mental health talk

following on from that post yesterday i do definitely need therapy because as much as i convince myself ive healed (and to be fair i have, his death may have been traumatic but its incredible how quickly you realise you were being abused when youre... not being abused anymore) i do sometimes miss him and i hate it. ill see things like accounts from others who've lost people to suicide and it triggers that deep emptiness i felt when he first died despite the fact that he essentially ruined the first few years of my adult life

part of me wishes id never even met him but then i dont know if i would be as close to the friends i have now without him having been there (most of them anyway, if we pretend he didnt have one my best friends blocked because he would get jealous of how much fun i had speaking to her) and i also think he would have. died a lot sooner if i hadnt met him. his brother in law once told me it seemed like id afforded them two more years with him alive and i think it was meant to be grateful but in a way it was just upsetting because it made me feel guilty for all the times i had wished i didn't know him. it felt like i couldnt even afford a theoretical past version of myself that release. i know ultimately his death wasn't my fault and in fact i actively prevented it for a long time but it always always feels like i should have done something else. i feel like i shouldve told his brother that he was actively suicidal again but id come to his brother about it so many times that i think he just didnt think anything of it anymore.

and like despite how much i suffered through everything i dealt with with him i. do miss how we were sometimes. not him specifically, but the relationship we had when it was good. sometimes it upsets me that i cant even remember most of the positive times despite there being so many of them for the first two years we knew each other. sometimes i catch a glimpse of the tattoo on my arm when im getting out of the shower. the tattoo of one of his drawings, one of the only ones i managed to save when he deleted every single message he'd ever sent me. and sometimes it makes me feel like shit because i have this constant reminder of the boy who abused me emblazoned on my body, and nobody's first tattoo at the age of 21 should be a memorial to their boyfriend who killed himself, and it just makes me feel like shit because under everything else i really did love him and thats why i never walked away. thats why i didnt give up on him even when i started realising how damaging it all was for me. i loved him so much and i fucking hate saying it because logically i shouldnt have. its. a lot and its so complicated and nobody but me ever, ever saw it because he masked it around other people or would just dm me instead of saying anything out loud, and i could only tell people very nervously in private and i never had a way of proving it.

i think the hardest part is that my aocial circle now is almost exactly the same as it was when he was in it. all of our friends mourned that loss just the same. some of them know about the abuse now, but most of them don't, and the grief they will occasionally express (though never directly around me, which i appreciate) is so plain and easily explained and i almost feel jealous that i can't grieve the way they can. without any of the complicating factors. and that sounds so horrible but i wish my feelings about him were just SIMPLE.

i have a floater in my left eye. when i was with him, i developed stress stims. i would bash my hand against my head or bash my head against the corner of my desk. floaters are caused by head trauma. im consistently reminded of what that time was like every time i move my left eye in the right lighting.

i remember one particularly bad night where i cried for four hours straight because he just refused to talk to me like a normal person, blamed me for everything that was happening between us and told me to leave him alone and never speak to him again. i knew if i agreed to that he would kill himself as soon as he could. i knew i was the only thing keeping him alive, and that he resented me for that. i used to get acne on my nose and sleeve burns on my eyelids from crying so often and for so long each time.

it was fucking horrendous and i can't even vent to anyone because most of them grieved his death too. we don't even say his name - if he comes up it's always "you know" or "someone else, you know who i mean". so i think i... should really do a proper therapist hunt.

#personal #delete later just need to. put my thoughts down rn

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ghostlyheart · 2 years

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"Eaten by a tiger" | 1x04/1x10

Shh I know that's not a tiger but same difference

#so yeah i DO think stede was thinking about ed when he chose to do this 🥺#also if you saw me post this in different format yesterday and then delete it no you didnt #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death spoilers

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eternalwormdevouringconneticut · 3 years

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[id: digital art of iroh from avatar on a yellow-orange background. he is wearing tinted aviator glasses and a striped long sleeve button up shiit and a slight smile]

hippie but he's a war criminal

#if you saw me post this yesterday and then delete it no you didnt #iroh #avatar #has id #art tag #my art #stonebutchzuko blues #glasses!verse

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doctorstethoscope · 2 years

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Yes, Mr. President || The True Story

art by @multiverse-mxdness

if you saw me post this yesterday and then delete it bc it had a typo no you didnt <3333

story summary: Scandal! AU– your mentor, David Rossi, has recruited you to make Senator Aaron Hotchner the next President of the United States. Once described as a political nun, the Senator helps you see that maybe you can mix business and pleasure.

Read previous chapters of this fic here!

contains: discussion of terrorism, guns, hostages and bombs

wordcount: 2.4k

“She just released six hostages,” the CIA director, Sally Langston, explains to President Hotchner. “SSA Beene is on the ground coordinating the FBI response, and he has an update for you as well.”

“We’ve got half a dozen snipers in place, Mr. President,” Cyrus explains over a video feed into the situation room. “If we can get a clean shot, we’d like to take it. On your orders, of course.”

Aaron grinds his teeth. He’d much prefer for her to come out peacefully, without the use of force, but there are innocent lives at stake and he worries that he doesn’t have the time for moral qualms. “If we take the shot, what are the chances that the bomb goes off?”

“Given the type of bomb… if her hand is on the detonator, we like our odds,” Beene says.

The President swallows heavily. “Take it,” he says, spitting the words out as if it would make them carry any less gravity.

“That’s a go, Agent Beene. Prepare your team,” Director Langston says.

In Congressman Struthers’ office, tensions are just as high.

“This was a mistake,” Mary rants as she paces, her thumb far too close to the detonator for your liking. “We shouldn’t have released the staffers.”

“They were scared, Mary, and they weren’t a part of this. They were kids, just like Chris,” you remind her, appealing to her humanity, or what was left of it. “It was the right thing to do.”

“Then why don’t we have the file?!” She asks angriily, her whole body shaking with the intensity of her emotions.

“I’m a member of Congress, and it takes me weeks to get a document I’ve requested. Even longer if it’s classified,” the congressman pipes in. “You’re making much quicker progress than I usually do, that’s for sure.”

Your phone rings, and it’s Derek. You answer it immediately.

“You okay?” He asks.

“Fine. What did you find out?” You ask in turn, all business. You’re not fine, of course, but there’s no time to get into any of that.

“They’re gearing up for something out here,” he explains gravely.

“Something, like, potentially bringing up the file?” You ask hopefully, knowing full well that that’s not what he means.

“Not unless the file looks like a sniper,” he confirms your fears. “They just went into the building.”

“How many?”

“Four, it looks like,” he answers you.

“Plus however many they have outside,” you theorize, and then the stomping of boots pulls you out of your train of thought.

“Mary,” you say, hanging up on Derek as soon as you realize what’s happening. “Mary, you need to stay calm.”

“They’re testing me,” she says, drawing up the blinds. “Why are they testing me?” Do they think I won’t do it?” She says, brandishing the detonator in the window, and that’s when you see the red laser dot square in the middle of her forehead.

++++

“Mr. President, we have a visual through the window,” Agent Beene reports to President Hotchner.

“A visual on who, exactly?” He asks.

“We believe it to be Mary Nesbit, but we’re not yet confirmed,” he explains. “Locked in on the target, and ready to engage on your orders.”

“Absolutely no shots fired until we’re certain we’ve got the assailant, understood?” He demands.

“Yes, Mr. President. A team is also headed into the building to see if they can get Ms. Nesbit to come out peacefully. We’re prepared to show you the visual we have from the window.”

“Alright. Go ahead,” he says, and the protector turns on, showing a grainy image of the side of the Capitol building, and a shadowed woman with a bulky vest on. The hand holding the detonator raises.

“Mr. President, on your order!” Beene barks out, and it no longer sounds like a request. Aaron is just about to say the word when he’s sure he’s having some sort of panic induced-hallucination, because your face appears in that window, reaching out towards Mary.

“Everybody stand down, now!” The President barks. “That’s a civilian hostage in the window, stand down.”

“What in God’s name is she doing in there?” Rossi asks, and the President realizes he’s not hallucinating. His stomach lurches.

“Somebody get me a line into that room. Immediately,” Aaron says, masking his grave concern with a seething tone.

“Mr. President, a word,” Rossi says, gesturing towards the door, and the President follows him into the hallway. “You cannot speak with her,” he says in a resolute whisper.

“Like hell I’m not,” Aaron argues, nostrils flaring. “She could have been killed in there.”

“Which was stupid and careless, and we will now all do our level best to not blow her up. But you will not call her, because there is no way your presidency survives if the two of you share a headline for the third week running.”

“Share a headline? Are you listening to yourself?” Aaron asks incredulously. “Get me a line into that room, Rossi, and consider brushing up your resume while you’re at it.”

“Mr. President,” Director Langston says, poking her head into the hallway. “I hate to interrupt, but we have a line into the Congressman’s office set up for you.”

When Aaron walks back into the room, he realizes what a bad idea this was. He needed to talk to you, but he hadn’t considered he’d be doing so in front of a room full of people. He steadies his jaw and strides in, calling your name into the speakerphone.

“I’m here, Mr. President,” you say, and he can tell that you’re trying to sound strong for him, sound professional to cover for him in this room full of people, and he hates it.

“How are you doing, is everyone okay?”

“The Congressman and I aren’t harmed. Mary only wants her son’s file.” You explain.

“We’re working on that, I promise you,” he says, trying to infuse every ounce of comfort he could into the professional declaration of facts. “It’s difficult.”

“Respectfully, Mr. President, I really need you to make it less difficult.” Your voice breaks in the middle of your sentence, and Aaron thinks he’s about to burst down the door to the Capitol himself.

“I know, Ang–I know,” he catches himself. “Would she like to speak to me about the situation? If I assured her that we were working on it—”

“Mr. President, I really can’t advise—” Sally starts, but he silences her with a hand.

“No. She doesn’t want to speak to anyone. She says I have to hang up now.”

“Alright. We need you to stay calm in there. Try not to let yourself get too anxious— think about that place in Vermont we saw on the campaign trail, okay?” He says, a desperate edge to his covered half-truth.

“Yes, Mr. President. I have to go.”

++++

“Did you know that my son hasn’t even been buried?” Mary asks you and the congressman. “None of the funeral homes would even take him, because they think he’s a terrorist. He’s still at the city morgue.”

“Let me make another call, Mary, this isn’t over yet. We’ll get you that file,” you assure her, pulling out your cell phone and dialing the one person in the city who almost certainly doesn’t want to hear from you.

“I just saw your face on the news, what the hell are you doing?” Joey asks when he picks up on the first ring. “Does your fixing extend to terrorism now?”

“This one wasn’t exactly a choice, Joseph, the C4 just fell into my lap,” you spit out through gritted teeth. “I need a favor.”

“Well, you know, call us old fashioned, but over here at the Department of Justice, we do our very best not to aid and abet terrorists,” he scoffs.

“The FBI raids a suspected terrorist’s apartment, kills a man, and the investigation is sealed, no questions asked. When questions are asked, a team of lawyers, sixteen Freedom of Information Act requests, and an inquiry from a member of Congress are all ignored. This is what’s happening in America right now, under your watchful eye. If that feels right to you, if that feels like justice, go ahead and enjoy a power lunch at Le Diplomate. If not—”

“Understood.” Joey cuts you off. “I’ll see what I can do. Stay safe in there, okay?”

“Work fast,” you implore him.

“One hour,” Mary warns. “Your guys have one hour left, and then I blow us all to bits.”

“Mary, we really can’t rush this. Declassifying documents—”

“One. Hour.”

+++++++

The phone rings with three minutes left on the clock. You’re so relieved that your knees almost buckle when you stand to answer it.

“Here we go,” you say with a deep breath, more to yourself than to anyone else as you answer the phone.

“Is everyone in there still okay?” Aaron asks.

“Yes, Mr. President,” you answer.

“Good. I’m standing here with David Rossi, Joseph Rosen, and Director Langston of the CIA. What I’m about to tell you is classified information,” he explains. “For your own safety, I need you not to respond to what I’m about to tell you, can you do that for me?” he says, and while he’s trying to remain neutral, you can hear the covered desperation in his tone.

“Yes,” you answer plainly.

“Mary is right,” he confesses.

“I’m sorry?” You say, your voice breaking.

“Chris Lawrence was not a terrorist. Chris Lawrence was CIA. He infiltrated the Al-Qaeda network at the highest levels and brought other CIA operatives into the organization as fake recruits. Chris Lawrence was an American hero, perhaps one of the greatest heroes our country has ever had, but you cannot tell his mother that,” he explains to you.

“You can’t tell anybody that, because if you did, the 57 men and women that he recruited, who’s very lives depend on maintaining their undercover identities as enemies of the United States— they would be tortured until they died, and a decade’s worth of intelligence gathering would die with them,” he underscores.

“Chris Lawrence was killed by the FBI because they did not know his true loyalties, and that….” Aaron concedes a pregnant pause “was a terrible mistake. But it made him a martyr to Al-Qaeda, and a hero to the United States. I am so sorry that his mother will never know the truth, but 57 lives depend on it. There are 57 other American heroes whose names their country will never know, and it’s our job and our duty to bring them home alive. Do you understand?”

“No,” you answer honestly.

“No?” Aaron repeats, aghast.

“But thank you, for the true story,” you say, loud enough for Mary to hear.

“You absolutely cannot tell her the true story,” Aaron commands.

“Don’t make me do this to her,” you whisper, turning your back on the mother who’s intuition was going to land her in a federal prison.

“57 of our bravest assets, is the truth worth their lives?” He reminds you.

You take a deep breath. “I have to go now,” you tell the President.

He calls after you by your full name, as if you were a child. You hope he says it again in front of you, and not just at your funeral. “Do not hang up, I need you to acknowledge—” Aaron yells after you, but you drop the phone back onto the receiver.

When you turn around to face Mary, she’s practically beaming. “That was the President,” she smiles. “What did he say?”

You take another deep breath and swallow heavily. “Mary, I am so, so sorry.”

Her face falls in an instant. “No. No,” she cries. “No.”

“Your son was a terrorist,” you explain.

“No! No he wasn’t!” She continues to interject.

“He was a high level Al-Qaeda operative, higher than they wanted to make public,” you lie, and she collapses to her knees. “That’s what was in the file, that’s what was classified,” you explain, kneeling in front of her on the floor and holding her head in your hands as she continues to cry. “I am so sorry. I’m going to see you through this, Mary. make sure you have the best defense possible. Our work isn’t done, you’re still my client,” you assure her. “And now it’s time to go, okay? This starts with us all walking out of here, safely.”

“Okay,” Mary sniffles. “Okay, I’m ready,” she says.

The Congressman goes first, heading towards the door where they’d heard FBI agents camp out earlier.

“This is Representative Struthers,” he shouts. “We’re coming out peacefully.”

“Nice and slow, one by one, hands raised,” An agent instructs, opening the door.

The Congressman is closest to the door, and he follows orders, stepping out at a glacial pace until given the go ahead to move faster.

You turn and look back at Mary, give her a reassuring nod. “It’s going to be okay.”

She smiles. “I guess now that I’m a terrorist, too, my son won’t be alone at the morgue,” she says, shoving you through the door and slamming it shut.

++++++

“Mr. President, we have a visual on the hostages and Mrs. Lawrence leaving peacefully, if you’d like to watch,” Rossi informs the President, and the projector kicks up again. Congressman Struthers leaves without incident, and Aaron breathes a sigh of relief when he sees you, still unharmed. He’s no sooner let all the air leave his lungs when he sees Mary shove you out the door, and even worse– you turn around and try to force your way back in.

“No, Mary! Mary, open the door!” You yell.

“Pull them out,” Aaron instructs, trying to stay calm.

“Ma’am, we need to move,” An agent tries to guide you away, but you continue gripping at the handle to the locked door.

“Get them out of there!” Aaron yells. He watches as an Agent manhandles you— physically picks you up and starts to carry you out, but then there’s an explosion, and the feed cuts out. “Someone talk to me!” He barks, somewhere between a growl and a yell, turning into the comms device. It’s all static.

tagging: @arsonhotchner @shyhotch @dadbodhotch11 @call-me-mrsreid @angelfxllcm @the-modernmary @rousethemouse @skyler666 @gspenc @wheelsupkels @ashhotchner @mintphoenix @infinite-tides

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner x reader fic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch #hotch fic #hotch x reader fic #hotch x you #hotch x y/n #scandal #scandal au #criminal minds #criminal minds fic

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godofmanifesting · 2 years

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tysm for ur posts !!

ive been in a huge slump over the past year about manifestation, and as much as i got "lots" of results in a year, i struggled a lot with self concept, persisting, and ignoring my reality until i decided to go on tumblr for manifestation advice and saw u.

i binged all the accounts you would recommend for an hour or two, deleted my subliminal playlists, and started new. i took ur advice to heart, and applied it. everyday, id affirm that id be a master manifester and that i was a powerful human being (even making affirmation wallpapers for me to wake up to yk?)

just 2 days using ur advice etc, i was doing a challenge to not use a mirror at all (i found that the root of my obsessions was mirrors, so i decided to treat the root of it instead of trying to just 'force' remove it) and within 2 days im stunned 😭😭

like here r my results. i can even give some pics to u personally if u want since there are some appearance related ones:

- dropped toxic friends i didnt want to drop b4 (i was clinging to them, i didnt think i deserved more)

- amazing self concept seriously. like everyday life seems so easily natural for whatever reason, and i dont feel like manifesting is a weigh on my shoulders, its just there and ive gotten rid of so many unconscious thoughts and beliefs i didnt even know i had 😭

- manifested a youtuber sharing my post AND over 100likes and nearly 1k views just by affirming and visualizing ONCE while i was showering. this was yesterday. im still stunned bc i visualized someone sharing my post, it getting lots of views n likes AND IT HAPPENED JUST AFTER I GOT OUTSIDE THE SHOWER

- okay this i have pics for btw!! my jawline is 10x sharper, literally. ive been visualizing my df and just generally affirming stuff like "im so pretty i cannot" etc and took pics today of myself and i was unrecognizable almost. my jawline like 2 days ago was NOWHERE close to now. my nose bridge got sm higher as well so now it looks like a perfect s-line as i visualized.

- also despite looking in the mirror every once in a while, taking pics, looking at my view counts etc MY MINDSET DIDNT CHANGE AT ALLLL like if i tried doing this back then id be crying, sobbing, complaining, and generally negative being like "whatd i do wrong" 💀💀 BUT NONO I STILL HAVE THAT MINDSET THAT I HAVE MY MANIFESTATIONS ETC

also THIS WAS IN 2 DAYS. imagine like in a week, month, year.. ilysm and just ty for ur posts atp. ive never seen advice like this ANYWHERE, no matter where i go and bam. im so glad i went here

i’m VERY glad to have helped. this is literally amazing, you accomplished this much in just TWO days. this goes to show that nothing is impossible and that you can manifest in a short amount of time. this past year i’ve been in a slump too as well, but i’ve just recently (almost a week now) stopped being inconsistent, got tired of my own shiet, and just start applying consistently and i’ve seen shifts already, even since the first day! i’m like so glad that my posts helped you and i hope that your success story helps another! and keep up the good work, i can’t even imagine the progress that you’d have made by a month! and congratulations!

#law of assumption #neville goddard #manifestation

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vldkeith · 2 years

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(i have read the faqs don’t worry!! )

why is it that you don’t like the dirty laundry fanfic? is it just not your type of ff or?

gonna copy and paste my answers from some older posts bc i mostly still agree with what i said then!

from one post i made before:

the whole fanfic was written by a white person, so their intense focus on portraying lance’s family as homophobic is….kind of racist? like just because it’s something that actually happens doesn’t mean white people get a pass to write an entire story centering around it, a story that is honestly just angst porn wrt lance’s family. like. it’s one thing for a hispanic person to write a story like this, but quite another for a white person who has not experienced it to do so, because they’re kind of just working off of stereotypes. i dont think the person who wrote it is racist at ALL but i do think that what they chose to write and how they chose to write it kind of exemplifies the racist dynamic of america & how many white liberals view hispanic people as hopelessly conservative wrt things like homosexuality. it’s really not their place to comment on it. there are also hispanic people who agree that it is racist, so it’s not like im going against the grain here.

and from another, earlier post:

i read this like….back in 2017 when it was still semi-new (and was there to see it replaced with the bee movie script after it got so much flack, and then when it was deleted altogether) and i have to say…as literally the FIRST klance fanfic i read (i always sort by hits/kudos) it was such a BAD INTRO TO THE KLANCE DYNAMIC!! like! god ok i don’t remember it being written that horribly but the plot points were just WHACK like. kenzie mentioned yesterday the like car fight thing?!?! what the hell was that??? and lance’s family being homophobic?? lance not rly accepting keith’s “love letter” (writing the words “keith’s love letter” was painful bc keith would never DO THAT) but then trying to make up for it by like…serenading him in a mcdonalds or smth?! idk if im remembering right and tbh the most i remember from the fic was like, the roadtrip and even THAT i don’t remember a lot bc it was kind of boring and bad characterization but tbh it was just so overhyped. ppl were like “wow this is the klance fanfic this is what the fandom is founded upon” and i just don’t see it and even back then i don’t think i saw it, though i acted like i did bc i was 17 and just wanted to fit in. again it was also one of my first experiences with klance so i didnt rly have a strong frame of reference yet but man….idkidk i dont think it deserved the intense hate it got but the vaguely racist(?) (stereotypical might be a better word? racist seems a bit intense but i cant think of another word rn) undertones of how lance’s hispanic family was portrayed definitely rubs me the wrong way thinking back on it now and i just dont think the author was equipped to handle such widespread popularity given that.

i think i was actually too easy on it with this answer ^ from 2020 lmao.

it just plays into soooo many racist stereotypes about hispanic families/people and about the "drama" of gay male relationships (they get out of the car just to physically fight each other at one point like i mentioned up there) and if that wasn't enough to convince people it's just not a good fanfiction, the characterization of both keith and lance is very Off imo again as i outlined above. overall just a product of early klance fandom that is best left in the dark shadows of history, only to be resurrected as a demonstration of what you probably should not do when youre writing a mlm relationship between poc

#thanks for reading my faq gkfdshgdsfk #maybe i should include smth abt dirty laundry there ....#also thank you for the kind tone of this ask!#op💢

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