#if you once talk about you being gay they piss themselves
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✨INCORRECT THE POLY! LOST BOYS QUOTES✨
(I’m back again for some more incorrect quotes- I know you guys have been liking them so what am I gonna do? Not do my school work and give you your lost boys fill for today! Like usual😊)
David, at Michael : You're my significant other.
Michael : Yeah I am!
David, at Dwayne : You're my child.
Dwayne : Yes boss.
David, at Y/N : You're my bitch.
Y/N : Yeah I am!! -wait, what?
David, at Paul: My bestie.
Paul: Naturally.
David, at Marko: HA, GAY!
Marko: Fuck you!
Y/N : *running towards David with open arms*
David: *moves out of the way*
Y/N : Hey, why'd you move?!
David: I thought you were going to attack me.
Y/N: I was going to hug you!
David: Why would you hug me?
Y/N: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
Michael : We’ll find another route, it’s not safe for amateur adventurers.
Marko: That sounds like a challenge.
Michael : I have to stress, that is not a challenge.
Marko: ...Is exactly what you say to dissuade the weak of heart from accepting the challenge. Well, challenge accepted!
Michael : There is no challenge!
David: Marko is taking credit for Dwayne 's work, getting him to deal with everything, and making fun of him! You know what marko sounds like?
Paul: You?
David: No, I meant... You know Dwayne . In spite of being clever and sarcastic he’s also... fragile and weird and hes having trouble fitting in. And Marko is taking advantage of their weakness! You know what that’s called?
Paul: A David?
David: ...Yeah, but I’m the only one who should be allowed to do that, okay?!
Marko: Come on, Y/N! How any times do I have to apologize?
Y/N: Once!
Marko: ...No.
Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent after catching Y/N stealing from the boardwalk.
Y/N: I choose to waive that right!
Y/N: *screaming*
The Boys: *pissing themselves laughing*
David: You have friends and I envy that.
Dwayne: You're welcome to share my friends.
David: *looks at Marko and Paul*
David: I don't want those.
Paul talking to marko: Money... Is like president trading cards.
Y/N: So what, now I’m just supposed to do everything that Paul does? What if they jump off a cliff?
David: If Paul were to jump off a cliff, he would have done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Paul jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Y/N: You jump off a cliff.
David: Gladly, provided Paul did first.
Y/N: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gonna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?
Dwayne not having it-: Why should I feed you if your just gonna die anyways?
Y/N:…
Y/N: I'll go make my bed-
(Ok so imma post this and then maybe write a little something for you guys, but it’s up to you who I write about, I was just planning on doing some head cannons! Stay safe and be kind to people- LOVE YALL<3)
@gxlden-switchblade
#the lost boys#the lost boys incorrect quotes#the lost boys 1987#david x reader#marko x reader#dwayne x reader#paul x reader#incorrect quotations#the lost boys x you#poly lost boys x reader#michael x reader#incorrect quotes
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"𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮?"
what is the unO main cast's ethnicity's and sexualities?
Sera
bi queen
the head of the bisexuals actually
perfect arc sera probably had a hint that she liked girls but shoved it so down into her soul that pretty much no one would've guessed
she probably tried forcing herself to like arlo but that lasted for like 30 minutes at best...
during cripple john, she probably didn't really care about her sexuality, only being able to finally admit she liked girls.
she's not in the closet anymore really, she just doesn't tell anyone about it unless they specifically ask.
she's never brought up anything sexuality related with her parents. leilah did once and it didn't go over very smoothly.
her childhood gay awakening was shego from kim possible
she's russian but lived in the U.S. for her entire life
she doesn't speak the language but can understand certain common words and learned multiple swear words from leilah when they were kids
John
omnisexual brat
he never really cared about the genders of people he liked
he'd just see someone and think they were hot, regardless of what they presented themselves as.
though, i think his kryptonite is most definitely boobs
he blushes pretty much whenever a pretty girl talks to him
when he was younger he had the teenest, tinest crush on zirian for like two months or so
but it quickly went out the window once he dethroned him
he also may have a thing for people stronger than him, both ability wise and physical wise
he was never really in the closet so to speak, he once asked his dad if it was normal to like both guys and girls and william was the most supportive dad ever about it all
he makes jokes that make it obvious he likes guys as well, but he'll only specifically state his sexuality when asked about it.
his childhood gay awakening was shang from Mulan.
he's half-german half-american, at least thats what his dad tells him
he only really considers himself american since he doesn't know his mom
william tried both learning german himself and teaching it to john but john got bored so fast that it was a complete waste of time
like sera, he knows a few swear words and will just shout them out randomly
Arlo
bi king
so far into the closet its actually insane
at least he's well dressed (unlike a certain joker cough cough)
he definitely didn't understand anything about being gay or whatever. his parents aren't too conservative but they definitely didn't teach nor tell him anything about same sex love, and not in a positive light anyway.
he barely had any girl crushes and almost never any guy crushes, so he didn't even think about his sexuality at all.
until he entered wellston and became a little too involved with a certain blue haired king (fly high rei)
he gay panicked so hard the first time he saw rei without a shirt on, like his entire body malfunctioned and started convulsing.
till tomorrow, he'll never come out. he might have some internalized homophobia and be concerned about how the people closest to him might view him, especially his aunt.
the closet is sealed shut and bulletproof at this point
his childhood gay awakening was both aladdin and prince eric
he's french and has all the audacity of a parisian
he speaks the language pretty fluently already and takes french class at wellston for the easy grade.
he lived in Paris until he was 7 and learned to suppress his accent a lot, though it comes out whenever he's extremely pissed.
he just screams in a raspy parisian accent and its either extremely hot or viscerally terrifying depending on who you ask
Remi
pansexual girlboss
she loves everyone with no preference at all
shes always just been really non-judgemental about everything and so kind
"omg he's so cute! wait he's non-binary? omg they're so cute!"
like John, she'd just see someone and think they were cute, regardless of their gender
she remembers having her first crush on a girl at 13.
remi: mom, can i start dating yet?
mama lightning: ABSOLUTELY NOT! no boys until you're 30!
remi: ...well do I have news for you
speaking of girl crushes, I think the wellston lesbians love her. like, she's friendly, pretty, and strong to the point where its intimidating but not absolutely terrifying.
evie probably wrote fanfics about her and posted them on ao3
this sweetiepie also might've had a crush on perfect arc seraphina for about a month, but she quickly got over it once she saw just how different their idealogies and personalities were.
her childhood gay awakening was calhoun from wreck it ralph
her parents are both canadians and she made trips to both vancouver and quebec to visit family very regularly.
she picked up a little quebecois and tried speaking it to arlo. she still remembers the absolute look of disdain he gave her.
Blyke
demisexual malewife
he never felt anything like love at first sight, even towards remi
it takes a lot for him to begin liking someone, even platonically. he isn't the nicest guy and wasn't all that interested in making many friends, especially very surface level ones.
that said, he didn't really think much of it. his sexuality wasn't ever really on his mind.
it wasn't until remi that he knew what it meant to really, truly like someone. from the way they blinked to the way they breathed.
it was like his eyes were opened for the first time in a long, long while.
that said, he was low-key kinda afraid to tell his mom about it.
he just didn't want it to change anything, didn't know if it was important enough that he should even waste his time on telling her.
but when he did finally, it didn't go how he expected.
blyke: mom, I think I'm like, demisexual... or something...
blyke's mom: demisexual and still can't get a boyfriend nor a girlfriend? bless your heart
blyke: that's not even what it's.... y'know what? idk why I bother
his childhood gay awakening was Danny from Danny phantom
WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER?!?!? 🦅🦅🦅
american born and raised in the mid-west
he was really confused the first time isen came over to his dorm and blyke slapped his hands on his knees and said "welp, guess it getting past my bedtime." and the dumbass responded with "it's like 7:00, are you a child?"
he then reverted to saying get the fuck out
Isen
queer prick
the most non-committal person to ever exist
went on a tangent about how "gender and sexuality constructs make people feel inclined to label themselves as something to fit into the boxes society sets up for them-"
blyke started fake snoring just to piss him off.
he's out of the closet only to his close friends like remi and blyke
his parents are conservative so he pretty much assumes that they wouldn't support him.
he isn't as upset about it as he was when he first figured it out, he guesses that's just how the world works, and he got the short end of a straw.
he's gay panic personified. he kinda thought arlo was hot after the fork incident, but it multiplied by like 100x when his growth spurt hit.
he's equal parts terrified and equal parts enamored.
same thing with cecile, there's no way he didn't show up to the press club on his first day, get absolutely berated by cecile for a shit article he showed her, and then came back for more the next day.
for some reason I always saw him as latino.
like he'd just randomly start cursing people (arlo) under his breath in spanish.
blyke will ask him for notes and he'll say okay just to write it all in spanish.
blyke: what the fuck is this dude. you fucking know I cant understand this shit
isen: sounds like a skill issue
#unordinary headcanons#unordinary seraphina#unordinary john#unordinary arlo#unordinary remi#unordinary blyke#unordinary isen#unordinary hcs#michixoxo#unordinary webtoon
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My headcanon of He Cheng/Qiu backstory/current relationship. It could also be an AU idea.
It's quite vague at the beginning and gets a little more detailed and nsfw at the end.
Ever since he was a kid, He Cheng was put through intense physical training.
When he was 15 he met Qiu who was his sparring partner (maybe he was the son of the man training Cheng but I also picture him as an orphan). They were training together for years, became somewhat close and comfortable with each other but friendship would be too big of a word.
When they reached 20, Qiu was hired by the family to be He Cheng's bodyguard. There was still nothing going on between them, except for He Cheng having some weird gay thoughts sometimes when they would spar or take a shower after training. He would quickly shake those feelings off because obviously he is not gay and Qiu isn't either. In fact he's a womanizer, not wasting any chance to bring some hot chick back to his place.
Some time later, when he's around 25, his father orders He Cheng to kill the dog that is so precious to his younger brother. He doesn't want to do that, doesn't know what to do at all, so he goes to ask Qiu for advice.
Qiu lives in a small condo at the back of the bar owned by the He family. He Cheng doesn't bother to knock (he's the boss after all), opens the door to the bedroom where Qiu is lying on the bed, some chick riding him. Guys' eyes meet for a split second and as He Cheng starts to leave with a stone expression, Qiu suddenly says "Hey... ". Cheng stops but the other guy is speaking to the girl "... What would you say about him joining us?". Without hesitation the girl agrees. He Cheng, on the other hand, seems to be hesitant, his expression unreadable. Qiu gestures for him to come to the bed. Eventually, without a word, He Cheng takes off his clothes and situates himself on the bed behind the girl. He places his hands on her hips and reaches over her to kiss her. She has to lean back to make it possible. At the same time Qiu fondles her tits and lets her keep riding his dick. When He Cheng proceeds to fuck her in the ass at the same time, in all this heat, and sweat, and heavy breaths his eyes meet Qiu's again. They come almost at the same time. They never talk about it later. But the scenario repeats again and again. And the girl or girls (different ones every time) kind of become an excuse for them. Their eyes start to meet more often and watching each other lasts longer. One time while dp the girl they kiss. It happens every time after this. They need to focus in order not to neglect the girl completely. They go from dp to dpp so their dicks rub against each other.
Another time Cheng storms into Qiu's bedroom again, he's exhausted from all his responsibilities and pissed off at his father, and his brother and just can't take it anymore. Qiu is fooling around with a girl again but this time, when he looks at Cheng he knows something is off so he tells her to go and when she leaves he let's Cheng lie down on his bed. While his boss lies on his stomach Qiu straddles him, starts giving him a massage and eventually fucks him and Cheng doesn't protests or doesn't say anything because he just wants to clear his mind and relax for once.
I imagine they do it more often and switch at some point when Cheng is more angry and frustrated than depressed so he can release these boiling emotions by roughly fucking his underling/friend.
Eventually each time they fuck it's only the two of them but Qiu keeps fucking women whenever he wants.
I picture Cheng as the first one to catch feelings and being emo about it and never admitting it and Qiu kind of being in denial too. I imagine at this point in the canon that they have sex casually and don't put any labels on themselves but Cheng is clearly jealous when Qiu flirts with women. I think Cheng doesn't have sex with anyone else so he's also very much sexually frustrated xD I try to imagine what would eventually make them confess and be exclusive. In my head Qiu has strong feelings for Cheng but maybe it's harder for him to admit he's gay/bi so he needs women to validate himself as a hetero Alfa male or sth.
#sorry if there are any errors#I just copied it from my draft I wrote long ago#19 days#he cheng#brother qiu#chengqiu#headcanon
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Some late Halloween recommendation
(Seizure Warning)
Happy happy Halloween,
Halloween,
Halloween,
happy, happy Halloween,
fuck you Dobson!
Well, haven't talked for a long time, haven't I?
Things got busy again the last couple of weeks and with the sort of posts I am working on being rather long + spending my off time from work on other things than somethin Dobson related, I couldn't bring much to the table.
That said, next month something really big is in the making, starting from November 2th. Other than that, I kinda thought I want to do something small, non Dobson related for the holiday..
So in case some of you are looking for some Halloween related fun to spend the next 24 hours with, I thought I recommend some minor movies and other horror related things you may hopefully enjoy.
So let's start
Creepshow (1982) & Crepshow 2
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I am a huge fan of horror anthology movies and Tales form the Crypt like stories (comics and tv show), so when I heard that Stephen King wrote a script for a comic like horror movie in the 80s, directed by George Romero, I was kinda hooked up.
Creepshow is something of a hidden gem people are becoming more aware of nowadays thanks to the internet, popculture and the fact, that on Shudder there has been a tv series based on the concept, that currently runs for 4 seasons. And while the quality of some episodes is varying, it is a lot of fun to watch. Particularly the one episode that is literally Bob Ross fighting the Deadites from Evil Dead.
As for the movie that started it all, separated in five little stories, the movie has something from everyone. From a multibillionaire finding himself attacked by cockroaches in his apartment, a zombie wanting cake for father's day, to a henpecked husband exploiting a weird monster to deal with his bickering tramp of a wife. I know the movie was once on completely for free to watch on youtube, but unfortunately I couldn't find it for this entry as quickly. That said, have the still good, though moref flawed sequel here
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The Night of the living dull
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still one of the funniest jabs at really awful fans, related to my favorite cartoon from the 90s. If you can find more of the Nightmare Ghoulery online, I highly recommend it.
It is still better animated and way funnier than the actual Tiny Toon reboot we got last month. As evident by that opening alone
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Franken Fran
Imagine if Frankenstein created a slightly cute teenaged girl who is a masterful surgeon and biologist/genetic engineer, who tries to help other people with her operations. Only for things to go ever so slightly wrong for the people involved in it. Partly because Fran doesn't care for either good or evil, just science, partly because they kinda deserve their ironic fate.
For friends of horror anthology stories and people who want to laugh at Kamen Rider in a certain way, for free to read here
This
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considering I am on tumblr, I don't think I have to introduce you to Helluva Boss. So let me just more or less out myself as a fan of it too. I may think it is in part flawed (the people behind it certainly love to overindulge themselves in musical numbers and gay fluff, while I just wished there was a bit more cartoonish killing), but I have quite a bit of respect for the quality of the animation and some of the ideas going into it. Plus, related to the linked episode itself, "2 Minutes Notice" really slaps and it is obvious, that Alex Brightman has a lot of fun here. So alone for that I recommend you watch the episode.
Deadstream
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Imagine Evil Dead 2 mixed with your average youtube douchebag prankster getting his comeuppances. One of the best movies I watched last year, Deadstream is about Shawn, a failed youtuber trying to restart his career by spending a night in a haunted house. Only problem, not only is Shawn something of a slightly dumb piss ant who recognizes red flags way too late, the house really is haunted and the ghosts are certainly not friendly or in need of help at all. While "low budget" by certain standards, the movie has some really great practical effects and decent scares, but also some really great black comedy and slapstick mixed in, without ever really going into full on Scary Movie cartoon-esque antics. Also one of the few movies, where the concept of "livestreaming" is actually utilized extremely intelligently for the sake of the movie's style. As far as I know it is watchable on Shudder, so please. go see it
Negaduck
He is the terror, that schemes at the night.
to wrap this post up, a little still ongoing thing in the world of cartoon related comics. Currently published by Dynamite Entertainment in colaboration with Disney, Negaduck is a tie in series to the current Darkwing Duck comics, focused on one of Darkwing's most popular villains. His personal archrival (and I think multiversal evil counterpart, to me they were always a bit vague with that in my opinion) Negaduck. surprisingly well drawn, this comic manages to capture the cartoonishness of the cartoon in vibrant colors and makes Negaduck a lot of fun, when he tries to come up with an ultimate scheme and in his quest ends up going on a treasure hunt for King Midas' gauntled. You can read the first two issues of more hopefully to come here.
Now with that said, I am off to a party with friends and playing some Luigis Mansion 3. HAPPY HALLOWEEN AND HAVE SOME CANDY
#halloween#happy halloween#helluva boss#creepshow#negaduck#adobsonsartwork#andrew dobson#soyouareandrewdobson#syac#Youtube
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Hello yes. Your soulmates name is literally on your body but with the ninja dads: we are go
2:27 AM · Jan 6, 2018
Kohari is like "oh my" bc she knows the brat, while her husband is like "oh geeze" bc that brat has attitude and honestly, isn't someone he wants his precious baby interacting with
Is Sakumo alive to bare witness to the name on his son's skin? If timed correctly, probably. He'd know who it was and be happy ab it bc they're fantastic ppl
But if not, Kakashi was probably very bitter ab it. "Dad u asshole u never even got to see my soul mate" but then he quickly "got over it"
Now here's the thing
Iruka has probably heard all about his soul mate his whole life. He's always hearing shit ab how cool and strong Kakashi Hatake is.
He attempted to introduce himself to the guy once but was brushed aside like he didn't matter
So since Kakashi hasn't gone out of his way to meet him - they're in a very small community, everyone knows everyone, Iruka is salty af and kinda pissed
So! Iruka has decided he doesn't want a soul mate if it means being matched with this asshole.
Kakashi just kinda ended up thinking he wasn't worth a soul mate bc if all the death he's faced, plus he assumes "Iruka Umino" doesn't live in the village - he's long forgotten Kohari's surname
So it's another couple years till Kakashi clues in that Iruka Umino has been here the whole time. Are they on the same team? Does Hiruzen mention it in passing? Doesn't matter how Kakashi learns the facts of this life, just that he does
Minor break down. Gai suggests he just goes for it. Tenzou is like "sempai you've already denied him before, how else has he ignored you for this long? You're famous." "Tenzou pls."
So they figure at some point in the past, Kakashi was rude to Iruka.
Why else wouldn't they be married by now?? ?
They do the magic ninja equivalent of Facebook creeping and determine 1 fact: Iruka is too good for Kakashi
Kakashi dies inside
So Kakashi keeps his distance until he thinks he could somehow remedy his soul mate business. Plus he's still kinda wary ab it, death fucks you up
So Kakashi watches as Iruka positively interacts with Naruto - and at first it's just buckets of salt into his wounds, but he decides it's better this way bc no way could 16 year old him raise a child and Iruka is wonderful
The Mizuki bs happens and he's like, not in town, and arrives to news that Naruto passed his genin exam and Iruka's in the hospital bc he was protecting Naruto
Kakashi frets over that for hours, he cleans his house twice, bathes the dogs and rereads his fave smut six times until Hiruzen summons him to tell him he's gonna be Naruto's jounin sensei
Iruka hates it bc Kakashi is rude.
Naruto telling him all about his new teacher doesn't really change his opinion on the guy but he's less hostile towards the very thought
Kakashi hates it when Naruto talks ab Iruka.
He loves it of course, but feels cheated.
Plus he didn't care this long, why start now, not like Iruka will seek him out now
They meet for the first time in years at the ichiraku ramen stand.
They use their full names when introducing each other. Iruka is calmly seething. Kakashi has his dumb smile on.
Wouldn't it be funny if Naruto took a peek at Iruka's soul mate mark? Hilarious, it would be. The sudden dawning at the ichiraku stand, as his cool teachers introduced themselves to each other
He'd scream and everyone would know.
"You guys are soul mates!!!!"
Sakura and Sasuke would call him rude
Kakashi would have that fake smile "it's true" internally ready to flee
"Eeeeeeh? But why aren't you already together then if you know?" Says Naruto or Sakura.
"Kakashi-san had decided he was t ready for a soul mate is what Iruka says
The kids grumble ab that bc SOUL MATES
And Iruka looses his appetite and apologises he forgot something at the school and leaves
Naruto blames Kakashi for that and Sasuke agrees, "you re a pretty bad soul mate, not trying to get to know the other half of your soul"
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You know, as a bi person, I really kind of hate the aggressive pissing on hetero ships by virtue of it being hetero and not for the actual faults of the couple or characters.
Mind you; this is not the same problem as homophobes people who insist they don't hate gay stuff but have 0 gay couples and fight headcanons saying that they're gay. Those people, even if they don't know it; are homophobic. Their stubborness to face the fact that they're bigots makes them even more bigoted because bigotry does not inherently = being mean, but is about the inability to accept or think of other people. It's scary how many people earnestly think you have to shout some Westbro Baptist Church bs to be actually homophobic, and all that's before you get to internalized bigotry within the LGBTQ culture. Speaking of which...
I saw a thread where people were hating on Friendship is Magic because Pinkie Pie canonically gets with Weird Al's ponysona. --Obv I'm biased because that being made canon was the only part of the finale I liked as obviously I loved Cheese Sandwich for being his own character apart from Pinkie Pie and Weird Al-- but, BESIDES THAT; The complaint was talking about how some characters were "forced into being straight" by the writers and...really? You're incapable of headcanoning Pinkie and Cheese are bi or in an open marriage or just invalidating Pinkie now because she's the only one of the mane 6 who canonically had a kid with a stallion? Really?
There's being queer baited and wanting more gay couples that are also main characters and not off to the side cyclops police. And then there's getting mad that a character without a canonized sexuality is in a hetero relationship at least once in their life. Not even that they themselves are for sure straight, just that they're married or w the opposite sex.
Naturally, I only have women shippers to talk about. I can't quite talk for gay men or m/m shipcourse. Whenever I see lesbiansapphics be all "even canonically straight characters should be made gay"/"this ship would be fine if it were lesbians"/"this character should have gotten with this character so I can have lesbians", I do know it's all just joking. At least, I'm pretty sure. I know the reason you want more lesbians -I want more lesbians too because lesbians are great! You are right in how and what kind of scrutiny is held against you for liking women and like fiction women liking other fictional women...but...maybe don't be so judgemental of the ladies on your side who happen to like some m/f ships more than your appointed 'good' ship?
"We're not judgemental. You're the one who's judgemental for not being able to take some light rubbing abt your ship being straight."
Am I though? When you hate on a m/fships because seeing people support them in ANY WAY means you have to make fun of them just to validate your own feelings...idk pardon MY autistic arse for feeling a tad bit picked on or lumped in with the really not okay straights. Am I excluded from defending myself because I'm not the ideal lesbian? I'll never survive the sapphic hunger games if I don't have specific standards for my gay couples vs my straight ones?
I've seen people adore The Owl House for being gay because it is but absolutely hate that Willow/Hunter is implied and then be mad that Luz didn't get with Willow because "Amity is a bad girlfriend". It's not Dana's fault that Luz got with the "wrong woman", the show was written with Lumity being endgame and Hunter being an important side character because he's related to the main villain who is a man. Cope. I've seen people hate on MysteryElk because Elktaur/General has a standardly attractive' hunky design; I've seen people hate Edred from Unicorn Warriors Eternal for being an icky 'generic' guy. If you actually know the characters and the relationships in question with their lovers, you'd know that the fact that they're a man is the LEAST problematic thing they got going on! No, the men in these couples being women would not "fix" anything not just for shippers but in the actual show with the relationships. Like, you DO get that the problem is Nowhere King is the aggressor and that Edred is clingy and unsupportive, right? That those are the actual problems with these couples? And GOSH do I now hate Clone High's insistence that JFK is actually a decent person because he's not a 'pick me' like Abe. I hate that, in the wake of the internet realizing how bad tumblr sexymen nice guys really are, we apparently have to pick out the men who are "salvageable" or obsess over the problemed ones problems because they are men. Which- come to think of it, isn't that part of the issue with SnapeWife-types who stan flawed male characters like their the second coming but antagonize women characters for being flawed? Shouldn't we, idk, maybe encourage people to love characters for their flaws and not because we can 'fix' them somehow or hate them because they exemplify a person you hate irl?
Overall, the (hopefully) ironic demand for gay couples all the time like it's a supremacy is kind of irritating to me. I'm just not into living with the "this majority group are all the things wrong"-mindset, or even a "you deserve to feel the bigotry I already experience because that's cathartic for me". I know exactly why people are in pain. I know that pain because a lot of it is the same I have to go through. The reason I'm 'biting back', not at the gay community I'm in but at this specific mindset? Yeah it IS because I'm obsessed with people judging me, but I think it's because I'm self aware of this problem I have that I don't want to indulge the part of me that wants petty payback at all. When and if I like my petty payback, I want to make sure it's not at the people who might be judging me vs the people who actually, honestly are.
TL;DR: I love me some 'straights are not okay'-jokes, but there comes a point where I can not hear them when you clearly don't mean it as a joke.
No amount of active bigotry in this world will make the toxic absolutism you got as a result of that bigotry something I need to deal with as the butt of your anger. I and other bi/pan/ally people are not your stress dolls, inherently. The straights (a group) are not okay, not the straights (individuals), k?
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I have an AU in my mind that's just Barnaby and Ryan being roommates at college like American style or smth. They're like rich people roomies too and have two floors for themselves and Ryan lives on the 2nd one.
They really are friends but Ryan also pisses Barnaby off all the time bc he always has someone over and Barnabys trying to study but he can hear a rhythmic thumping sounds from upstairs so he's blowing up Ryan's phone but he has it on mute, and Barnaby has to go study in the library.
Meanwhile Barnaby gets no bitches bc he's just not interested. He gets really mad when Ryan makes out with guys at parties though (he hosts them at their apt without Barnaby's permission) and Barnaby's like am I homophobic?...
However his issue is that he isn't actually attracted to Ryan but he is the only guy he knows really well bc he has psychological issues and has no friends so he doesn't know it is he himself who is gay. He tried talking to Ryan about it once who was like whuh... I'm not gay though. Barnaby's like right...you're bisexual.
Ryan's like eh... but everyone feels this at our age nothing like that:/ But I've seen you looking at guys dude. Do you wanna kiss to try aha? (He's just being difficult but he's suffering of similar circumstances as Barnaby where he's friends with a lot of people but doesn't actually know anyone as well as he knows Barnaby bc he's always putting up a front kinda even if he also just is like That.)
Barnaby considered it and then became deeply disturbed by every part of this offer and also by kinda being called gay by Ryan.
So that didn't help... Together they have 2 brain cells. Sad! Nothing else happens or is important btw. They don't get along after that bc they have issues. Then Ryan drops out of college entirely and they fall out of touch
#tiger and bunny#barnaby brooks jr#ryan goldsmith#gabriels ramblings#laughed reading this post in my drafts
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Hello There, Showtoonz!! I just wanted to let you know someone has talked about your post about HB and let's just say some die hard fans aren't taking it well in the comments, and saying shit like, "Oh, well Viv is much better and talented than you!" Or "Don't watch the show then" ect ect, it's like you can't criticize ANYTHING without the fans going after you for it, and also calling you homophobic if you don't like the show. Apparently, you can't talk about criticism or say one negative thing on the series, when it comes to the HB/HH Fandom. 😒
https://twitter.com/Norelzahr1/status/1589926236591370240?t=SjRBUVbjNklc7S3zxzPPsg&s=19
Glad the OP agrees, but I honestly don’t care what the fans think lmao. I still stand by what I said, I heavily dislike how literally like….80% of the HB fandom and the creators act like being gay and/or female automatically means you’re a good writer who doesn’t need criticism, trust me, I’m not pulling that out of my ass, I’ve seen people act like this everywhere.
However, this did get me thinking, I will admit that I think I worded that one tag wrong, mainly the problem was I didn’t know HOW to word it. Fill free to disagree with me if y’all want, but when I said “The show shouldn’t even be labeled as a “queer show”, it’s a dark comedy with gay characters yes but that doesn’t mean it’s meant for gay people I don’t get it”- in one of the tags, what I was trying to get at was that I personally don’t understand why everyone keeps labeling the show as such when the original premise and tone of the show had nothing to do with what the show seems to be now, an emotional rollercoaster about relationships, wether gay or straight. In my opinion, I only think you should label your show as a “queer show” if your MAIN purpose and premise resides on telling a story following the such. Helluva Boss’s main premise wasn’t about that, it was about demon assassins going to earth to kill humans while Stolas (a SIDE main character-ish) acted like a horny perv who had possession of the book. The reason why I said this was mainly to once again jab at the people who act like having gay characters in your show means that it’s magically inhumane to criticism. Most importantly, when I said “it has gay characters yes but that doesn’t mean it’s for gay people”- I should have said that differently, because want I MEANT was that just because there are LGBTQ+ characters in your show, doesn’t mean it’s ONLY for them. This is a jab at the fans who keep saying “But it’s a queer show, it’s for queers”- whenever we try to critique Stolitz as a couple or the other relationships. The show never presented itself on the characters sexualities and how they’ll be telling about their loves lives and personal lives, again….it was SUPPOSED to be a dark comedy about asshole demons assassins, and ever since Stolitz took over the show because Viv is obsessed with it rather than taking time to develop and expand her other characters, everyone now is acting like Stolitz is what the show stems on and what this show was supposed to be about. They also act like LGBTQ+ characters can’t be written badly as long as the creators are gay themselves, (they also act like just because it’s told from a “queer perspective” that apparently means that the writing isn’t bad, but that we just won’t get it because we’re not queer) and that’s not true?? Again, I don’t care if you’re gay or straight lmao, bad writing is still bad writing, that doesn’t make me homophobic for saying so, I’ve literally expressed multiple times how it pisses me off how Viv portrays most LGBTQ+ people, mainly her gay characters cause all they act like are hollow shallow stereotypes as if they were written by dumb men from the 70’s. Again, there are better written gay characters out there. I should also say that I don’t mind it when a show wants to dive into the romantic side of the main character, because Blitz at the end of the day still IS the main character after all, I’m just tired of fans acting like the show is only about his and Stolas’s relationship when it should be about the entire IMP crew as well. So Helluva fans, please stop saying “It’s a queer show”- whenever someone opens their mouth to critique something. I’ve seen Queer shows that have better writing than this fan fiction of a show and my sexuality has nothing to do with it lmao.
#vivziepop critical#spindlehorse critical#helluva boss critical#anti vivziepop#hazbin hotel critical#helluva boss criticism#viv sucks at writing gay characters yeah I said it be mad lol#vivziepop criticism#helluva boss critique#anti Stolitz#anti Angel Dust#reply#ask#helluva boss
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Squid Game season 2 thoughts and feelings, I'll mention when I will say spoilers
So at first I hated it, like, it is so fucking tone deaf. You create a game show to win money, based on a show criticizing how people are forced to play a game to survive to win money? You created what the show was angry about, without the risks or heavy impact. That being said, I found, and this is hard with how much they cram it down your throat that is Squid Game, but if you don't view it as Squid Game but just another game show, it becomes better. They attached it to Squid Game for the IP and notoriety, that is all, it's a cash cow, so if you remove the identity I think it is a lot better
I also feel that way about the contestants. At first I found them insufferable, like they cheer like maniacs when they pass the first challenge and see all that money fall into the pig, once again, super tone deaf and lacks all sympathy and recognition for the show and those lost. But as it goes on, that also (mostly) improves. They start to see it in the way of the show, instead of it being money going up, it is people dropping and friends lost, and sure like in the show they aren't dead, but it feels more respectful and better gets across that idea of, hey, this isn't money, it's people's lives
I also like how the show changed games and added some, so both viewer and contestants were left wondering what would be coming and were surprised by the new additions. That being said though, I hate how it was all pretty much nothing but luck. It was luck if you got chose to take part in the trials, it was luck if you got chose not to be evicted by someone in the trials, it was luck depending what the trial was, it was luck if you would survive or be eliminated. And then even the games themselves, it was almost all pure luck, so little, if anything, was skill or logic based, and some of the games/trials were worse than others
Now onto spoiler stuff:
So I am pretty happy over all that 287 won, don't get me wrong, there were many who seemed in need of it and to deserve it, so many (if their stories were true) struggled and had hardships and that money could have made all the difference. But I do also sorta wish 016 made it, besides the gay connection, losing his family through death or hate, the pain he was clearly in and the struggles he has faced, he also coulda been worthy. But really so many seemingly faced traumas, so many faced financial difficulties, there was many who could have been worthy. I'm just glad the hypocritical and manipulative bitch 278 didn't win
Also one thing I noticed, so when the women alliance so briefly formed, they constantly spoke about having all the women there, but it was all the white women, any woman of colour wasn't there initially but they kept talking about being a group and how they were there for each other when it was all white
So yeah, I think as long as you try to consciously not think of it as Squid Game, it's serviceable, but viewing it as a Squid Game successor is insufferable. Still pissed about 301 and 278's bullshit.
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You have a very clear, very intentional negative bias against Misha, and Vicki. Of course you’re going to see certain situations and twist them to fit your narrative, often seemingly taking away the agency of the others involved, including (but not limited to) the fans he met at a club (nearly 8 years ago) who were consenting adults.
Regardless, Misha doesn’t have a record of anything with fans — beyond being open and genuine and giving with his time and self. Oh, and apparently the kind of behavior from those who might as well call themselves fans since they’re so obsessed with his every life detail and trying to paint him in a bad light for merely existing differently.
He wouldn’t be as popular as he is, have the stellar reputation in the industry that he does, or have the many fan-beloved close friends he has (Jensen, Jared, their wives etc) if he was truly the horrible person some people seem to wish him to be.
He doesn’t have a stellar reputation but the things he’s guilty of aren’t things that the people around him have any problem with. Misha told a story about Vicki pissing on the side of the street next to a strip club and yelling at the people walking around them “don’t go in there, I’ll show you for free!” While exposing herself and that is enough to be arrested and charged as a sex offender in literally every state. The girls who were at that club and he made out with and tried to hook up with were over 18 yes but they were only 19, teenagers who weren’t old enough to drink legally but we’re drunk by their own admission. Misha is well aware of how little it takes to be black out drunk because his cute little story about hooking up with Vicki for the first time was when they were both black out drunk as teenagers, and she had bruises all over her thighs but neither of them could remember how it happened.
i don’t think being friends with Jared and jensen means anything for his character. Jensen said that he would want Benny to return recently but the actor that played Benny got drunk and made out with people in the audience at the first convention he went to. Rich denied giving him real alcohol so ty accused the fangirls of roofing him. I don’t trust Rich either though because there is there is another fan photo with misha we’re these girls were saying that they found him with Rich at a gay bar, and Vicki’s book gives gay bars as a suggestion to go prowling for the perfect hookups because queer people are more willing to play with the straighties. Everybody is so supportive and cutesy about Rob and Ruth’s relationship but the first photos/videos we have of them where they were looking like a couple was from before Rob got a divorce. Misha’s poetry book talks about being a married man who pursues other women and the title of the book is named for the poem that describes lying to his wife after they both congratulate themselves for being honest with one another. He literally romanticizes cheating on her, doesn’t that sound scummy?
jim beaver is probably the only person that I have any trust in. He posted his condolences after misha said that he got mugged and then deleted that once everyone showed what he was actually doing that night. It makes total sense to me because I just posted two other videos where he is clearly drunk and the fan described him as smelling heavily of booze.
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Thank you CRT for posting. I am the mother of a gay son. The prejudice here is real. He is Captain for a big airline & doesn’t look or act gay. He has a partner & people respect him. I don’t get why people have this hang up! It doesn’t matter ladies.
A, left this message on your post that was discussing Sam’s past history and his confusing behavior to some people. You would think that A would respect Sam’s truth just like everyone else’s. He clearly was pissed off and extremely mad that people continue to spread the false conspiracy theories that he is a “hidden gay” because to him it’s a lie. The proof is that he dates women and not men. Do you think it’s homophobic or prejudice for people to trust Sam and believe what he said when responding to all of the speculation about his sexuality? He did that several times because of the harassment he received and the same with the women he has been with too. I don’t think so and many other people don’t think so either. I don’t get people in this fandom. Thank you for telling your story as well, because I’ve experienced something similar! I was bullied and harassed in high school. Accused of being a lesbian because I was awkward and didn’t have a boyfriend or a date to the prom. I had guy friends but I didn’t have a real boyfriend until I was 25 years old. The mocking and false accusations from people I didn’t even know hurt me real bad and I still have issues trusting people. To this day, I am still not married, without children and currently single. No one should have to go through any of this. The whispers and talking behind one’s back, especially from peers or anonymous people on social media. You, me, Sam and so many other people who remain silent.
"The proof is that he dates women and not men".
It's not proof Anon, it is what we sometimes see when randomly caught on video or what we are supposed to see when papped. It's a view a number of people have what seems most likely, but others see it as a distraction. Whatever it is we have no proof he dates women nor do we have proof he dates men.
I don't think it is homophobic or prejudice to believe what Sam said, nor is it homophobic to think he isn't telling the truth. He told a number of lies over the years, he simply doesn't always speak the truth or, as C once said, he never let the truth stand in the way of a good story. That at it self gives people enough reason to question his words and see it as truth. it hasn't got anything to do with homophobia. You are entitled to believe him, others are entitled to not believe him. It's up to everyone themselves.
I'm sorry to hear you were bullied and still have issues with that. Even though there was talk behind my back that I knew of, it didn't affect me, I rather thought it was cowardly to not say it in my face so I can react to it. I do not remain silent, but I also don't feel like it affected me badly and I have to stand up or something like that. It's more like thinking 'whatever' people talk and that's what happens. I better get on with my life as it pleases me, and just let them. And when in discussions like yesterday and today, I will say 'Hey, there's also another side to consider'.
I do agree though with A that there is still too much prejudice about gay people. I truly wish we could just really be and feel equal and have no taboos left about it. I live in that country where gay marriage was allowed first, I had gay friends since I became aware about sexuality. For me there is no difference (I sometimes even prefer them). But I do realize there is still a lot prejudice on it, we all in the world have to work on.
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I wish I could explain to my family how much they’re hurting me without them immediately listing off everything I’ve don’t wrong ever.
I legitimately can’t tell if I’m a bad person or not sometimes.
They tell me I’m making too harsh of moral judgments on people who think it’s controversial to be anti genocide. They feel like I’m bossing them around when I try and tell them how we should all be anti genocide.
I can’t tell anymore am I some irrational social justice woke loser?? Am I a depressing presence because genocide pisses me off?? Am I only allowed to be upset about something once? Is grief not allowed to rear its head at inopportune times??
Am I being disrespectful because I shut myself away from my family when they shut me down? Am I a burden because I make people feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me??
If only they knew how I am filled with anger towards Zionist AND sadness and wish they didn’t have their humanity robbed from them.
I want my petty revenge AND for these people to come to learn what they did was hurtful and heal themselves.
But they just think I’m bossing people around demanding them to think the right way and am I?? Is wanting people to be anti genocide some sort of Orwellian nightmare?
Is me being upset that more people aren’t boycotting some wrongthink enforcement?
I even said I don’t think people who don’t boycott are bad people I just am disappointed they’re not.
And mainly because I’m not asking them to boycott everything. They hear me ask for a boycott and then say it’s unreasonable for me to demand people think about their purchases all the time.
Boycott something. One thing. Just one. Can’t even boycott the homophobic chicken place for your gay son.
I’m not trying to police them, they’re free to do whatever but am I not allowed to be a little disappointed that they’re dismissing me and say it’s too hard?
I know I’m not immune to propaganda. But my family isn’t exactly recognizing that they’ve been radicalized towards inaction while they say I’m becoming radicalized.
I don’t know. I don’t know.
Am I a bad person and an unpleasant to be around am I full of love and hope and empathy? Yes. Maybe I am a fucking bad person. But at least I have hope and love and empathy.
Maybe it is shitty how I’m judging people but people are judging me all the fucking time pardon me for not being a fucking saint.
You call me too judgmental when I try and tell you about transformative justice and the solution to violence is not to lock up all the homeless people.
You accuse me of saying that I’m not allowing you to be happy but i am happy and I still think of genocide because I have hope. I grieve those facing genocide but I celebrate because I know they are resilient.
I just want to fucking talk about things and have a “wow that’s really terrible I can see why you’re thinking about it because it hurts to hear so it helps to share” rather than “you’re trying to make the rest of us miserable”.
Cause at this point, I do want to make the rest of you miserable. I want to grieve together. I want to cry together. But instead no. Instead we are barred from love.
Fuck you intergenerational trauma.
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The Power of the Gay Following | News | BET
https://www.bet.com/article/i3jvuj/the-power-of-the-gay-following
The Power of the Gay Following
Is the love some artists give the LGBT community genuine or just about garnering a strong fan base?
By Starr Rhett
June 30, 2011 / 4:00 PM
"On one hand, we live in a society that is still very homophobic despite some small progress. But ironically, the gay community drives some of pop culture’s leading trends. Even Samantha Jones in an episode of Sex and the City once said to budding actor Smith Jarrod, “First you win over the gays, then the teenage girls, then Hollywood will follow.” Tyra Banks, Kimora Lee and Naomi Campbell learned how to walk from a man, “Miss J” (J. Alexander). Patti LaBelle has a huge gay following, which was no surprise since her style borrowed a page from the book of drag queens. Derek J is one of the leading celebrity hairstylists in the country, probably the world, and the list goes on.
My point is, having a gay following can be beneficial to an artist’s career and while artists in the past may have gained said fans unintentionally, divas like Nicki Minaj, Lady Gaga and even rapper Lil’ B, have purposefully made it work for themselves. Here’s why: People will like them for being pro gay, which opens up chances to perform more places, and people who are anti-gay will still track their every move because they want to track their enemy. In other words, it’s a hate crush.
Most celebrities in today’s pop culture get famous because they either hopped on any bandwagon that rode by or because there’s some shock factor attached to their schtick. Lil’ B named his debut album I’m Gay, which in theory could be career suicide for a rapper. However, it turned out to be a smart marketing move because Lil’ B’s whole existence is based on outrageous behavior. By declaring that he is “gay"—which he has explained that he means it in the original sense of the word (“happy")—he is taking away some of the stigma that the word has developed over the past few decades. However, he still managed to piss some people off in the process. Lil’ B’s plan is working, albeit disingenuous.
Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj are probably more sincere given each of their backgrounds, but in today’s blog culture it’s "cool" to be outspoken. Therefore, more artists will probably champion LGBT rights whether they are genuine or not. It’s a smart move either way you look at it because not only will they draw more attention to themselves, but it forces more people to talk and face issues (and their own feelings) that affects the gay community today, primarily marriage and bigotry. What better way to do it than through music, the language of the world?
Having a gay following can lockdown the longevity of an artist. So, all you up and coming pop stars, R&B divas and the occasional hip hop head, be good to the LGBT community and you might have a career like Janet Jackson, Chaka Khan, or Diana Ross."
Janet Jackson is all good, but my girl Chaka Khan has been a Scientologist for decades. Diana Ross' daughter? Is in American Fiction.
Meantime, Kim Cantrell is NO role model for women, if she can go along with encouraging us to give up our power, in such an underhanded fashion. Women invented fandom.
#Kim Cantrell is NO role model for women. She can encouraging us to give up our power#She encouraged women to hive up their power#Women invented fandom#Lady Gaga#Scientology
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about school life : ) ) )))
CW: abuse and torture(according to my therapist idk)
mainly just talking about quiet rooms/time out rooms that they used to take care of misbehaved kids or dysregulated autistic children
so you know resource rooms at schools right? the place they send autistic children and misbehaved children kids with adhd and such? I was sent to one of those most of my school life. one of them had a VERY special item in the room, it was a small closet sized room with a door that only had a handle on the outside that was basically a handle you push down that kept the door shut as long as it was held...
So this quiet room/time out room was where I'd have to see multiple teachers dragging both angry kids or kids screaming and begging to be let down before getting locked into that room. I remember the screams and the banging, I remember the sobs and pleading. I remember the sobbing slowly fading into whimpers and sniffles until it was silent, only once it was silent would you be let out, I had to learn to turn off my emotions and shut off my brain, I would shut out the world completely and go completely blank until a teacher would tap my shoulder.
the times I remember being angry and yelling at teachers and getting dragged in, being locked in a room you can't get out of, first was anger, screaming at them angrily and kicking and body slamming the door, punching and trying to break out, my therapist said that was the fight or flight instincts because your body thinks its in danger and that's why its torture. eventually you realize it won't stop, you would start sob and beg and please and apologize, but that wasnt enough for them if you were crying and begging you were still upset so they wouldn't let you out, you'd have to cry out until you just go limp and lay there. I remember the sound of the light of the room waiting to be let out, I remember the echoes of my screams and other kids screams. it was the worst feeling in my life and terrifying and I'm realizing now why I get so anxious when I enter a closet that the door will shut behind me and lock me in, every time I brings back those same feelings of fear. I don't think I can properly ever describe how awful it felt
sometimes students would piss themselves, once one tried to kill himself using the outlet which they later covered up. my therapist told me someone she knew found out about the room once coming to the classroom unannounced and hearing their kid screaming and then shoving the teachers out of the way to pull their kid out and home schooled them after that.
it terrifies to think that these rooms still exist in this buildings and still might be used. the other quiet room at my high school was not a closet was larger and had desks and an ex bodyguard buff as fuck guy to sit there to make sure you didnt try to run, they'd also drag kids in there so you;d have to duck sometimes as kids kicking and flailing were dragged pass you and forced to sit down. one time while sobbing and crying when I realized I was forced to go that place instead of high school and was mad I tried to push back him when he was blocking the doorway. he grabbed my by the neck and slammed me into the wall and looked me in the eyes and said "Don't you ever hit me again" because I tried to push him out of the way??? the fact that this is how students with different needs are treating in school systems terrifies me, and the fact that politicians claim that the real issue is somehow the "Gay agenda" "trans agenda" as children are literally being traumatized for life.
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it disappoints me a bit to still see (mainly over this past school year) so many high schoolers calling each other gay as a general insult /HAHA YOU’RE GAY HAHA NO YOU’RE GAY/😬😬😬, along with the usual slurs and whatever other related homophobic insults they come up with
to be extremely fair, now that I think about it, this behavior was mostly limited to the underclassmen - who are basically middle-schoolers in most ways due to remote learning for 1.5 years. so there’s hope they will mature soon.. but it’s just really out of hand; sometimes it seems like there’s no progress at all from my classrooms 10+ years ago.
They (it’s usually the boys doing this but not exclusively) are very clearly interested in learning or talking about homosexuality. Not only bc of how much they’re bringing it up unprompted and like saying these graphic things to each other in class “oh you like to ..[specific description of a sex act] etc” (for some reason today they started talking about pissing in mouths….. parents may have ended up being called tbh. and again this is usually the guys talking Loudly to each other, they’re not even saying anything on this level to the girls for the most part - which is one improvement at least lol, it’s not AS predatory). But their interest also comes across in the “silly” questions they would try to ask the bio teacher like “are gay people clones?” when on the topic of cloning, and one just asking me and the teacher “what do you think of gay people?”.. I mean the teacher said “no” and “they’re just people” which is good/correct but. idk. I feel like there’s still just a whole general vibe of .. [students pov] gayness being some deviant mystery that Anyone Normal must quickly and loudly distance themselves from, and of course [teacher pov] there can’t be any real discussions about it to help students form a more realistic view of the world! and possibly themselves! Gotta stay on topic haha [teacher proceeds to battle the students (who had been momentarily engaged with honest questions!) to stay off their phones for the remaining 20 minutes of class, in which he manages to cover 6 bullet points across 2 slides]
Look Obviously no teacher wants to get parents up in arms over them being “some kind of activist” so I understand the difficulty in addressing a whole built-up culture. And I’m not trying to take the place of a Health/Sex-Ed teacher, obviously they can have a huge and crucial impact here. I just really want, once I have my own lil math classroom next year🤞🏼, to have *something in mind* for the seemingly simple, too-common issue of how to address students calling each other gay as an insult. I KNOW and SEE that they are open-minded, and frequently just need some new framework for understanding and living w respect, or better language to use. Pleaseee submit your suggestions in the replies ⬇️ thank you
{ e.g.. do I just reprimand them for inappropriate language and then explain that using gay as an insult is inappropriate? I feel like I can/ need to find something a little stronger than that. Like i just want them to call each other barnacles and say that’s barnacles lol but I can’t see this conversation going anywhere but “why?”x5 and then they keep doing it. thank you if you read all this }
#homophobia#school#education#lgbt#my diary#I know I say my diary but feel free to reply reblog whatever it’s both for me and to hear any other thoughts
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Pairing: La Squadra x GN! Reader
Warnings: language
La Squadra harem
Risotto Nero
Risotto, as a leader of the hitman squad, immediately notices the change of atmosphere among La Squadra once Y/n appears. Albino, to his huge dismay, understands that he’s not the only one who’s developed feelings for Y/n. Albino knows every member’s habits and usual behavior, capo is the first one of all hitmen who figures out that everyone is his rival now (but only when it comes to Y/n, he’s still their leader and he respects every member equally)
Risotto is more of a father figure to Y/n. He warms up to you shortly, pampering you with his attention and genuine care, always being there for you. You’re hungry? The two of you are going to the nearest cafe for you to have a proper meal and Capo won’t take “no” as an answer. You’re stressed and something messes with your pretty head? What a poor thing, come here, Risotto is always ready to listen. Others immediately catch on the change of Capo’s treatment, every day it becomes even more obvious that he has a huge soft spot for Y/n
Least favorite rival: Melone. Risotto hates how smooth purple-haired is around you, how he is open with his flirting, how sincere all of his words sound. Nero wishes he had at least half of sans gêne Melone has. He’s a Capo and he has a reputation to uphold, but behind closed doors Risotto has tried flirting with Y/n and it was so so clumsy and awkward, it’s just… not his style
Prosciutto
The second father figure for Y/n, but if Risotto is more of a sugar daddy, indulging you with expensive gifts and foods, Prosciutto mostly acts like a real father would, scolding you for going outside at winter without your hat on (tho he never wears a hat himself) or for petting stray animals on the streets
Even despite all of his parental sternness, Prosciutto is really caring and attentive towards Y/n, even more that Risotto is. You got scratched accidentally because of your clumsiness? We gotta clean the wound up and patch it, don’t even try to protest; it may be a simple graze but what if some dirt got in it? Your shoulders ache after a long tiring day? Come hither, your dear Prosci will rub all the pain away
Least favorite rival: Risotto. Prosciutto doesn’t hate or despise albino, no. Risotto is a capo, and he got this status for several reasons, so blonde man still respects his boss, but both man have pretty familiar tactics of charming Y/n, and that definitely annoys Prosciutto
Formaggio
Formaggio is one of the most oblivious of all La Squadra men, he doesn’t realize that he’s not the only one having interest in Y/n and even when other guys flirt openly with Y/n in front of him red-haired just thinks that his teammates just try to be friendly towards a newcomer
He’s definitely that type of macho from all the cheesy movies - attractive, excellent smooth talker with constant flirtings. Formaggio is not opposed of using all possible cringy lines what annoy everyone in La Squadra, even Risotto has hard times restraining the urge to roll his eyes at all those shitty teasings. But Maggi is an easygoing guy, it’s so easy being around him and even all his pick up lines don’t repel you from him
Least favorite rival: doesn’t have one. As I said, this man doesn’t notice that other guys try to get Y/n to themselves, the thought of having possible rivals doesn’t even cross his mind
Illuso
It’s not a secret to anyone that Illuso is a little nasty bitch with a huge god complex and all his wooing is no better. “You wanna spend time with me? Shit, you’re such a pain in my ass! Okay, I guess I will indulge you this time, but that’s only because of your cute face” - doesn’t sound so appealing, does it? And that’s exactly the way brunette flirts with Y/n (well, at least he tries to)
Illuso wants to make you crawl to him, to make you crave for his presence and his touch, you make you fall in love hard. Brunette wears his best outfits, uses the best of his perfumes make up stuff just to show you that he’s better than all of his teammates. Surprisingly, even his behavior changes slightly when Y/n is around - he’s not that unbearably churlish towards you, on the good days he may even compliment you - “Your hair… looks good today, I like it”
Least favorite rival: he hates all of La Squadra equally. Illuso is certain that he’s the only one who truly deserves Y/n’s attention, he’s the best partner for you and only he can treat you properly. Doesn’t even try to hide his hostility towards teammates - why would you want spending time with such a trash?
Ghiaccio
Ghiaccio is a tsundere, do I even need to explain why? Is obvious to everyone in La Squadra that he’s head over heels for Y/n, but he still aggressively denies everything if someone points that out. He’s also very protective of you, if Formaggio or Melone or Sorbet try to flirt with you in front of Ghiaccio - they’ll get their nose bleeding soon (blue-haired gets scolded for that by Risotto often)
Blue-haired tries his best to hold all his outbursts in front of you. Even when you ask the stupidest questions, Ghiaccio would clench his fists til his knuckles turn white, grit his teeth, try doing breathing exercises - everything just to remain calm and not to get tantrum in front of you. And you guess that means really a lot
Least favorite rival: Sorbet and Gelato. Those guys (gays, lmao im sorry) don’t even try to hide their interest in Y/n, pinning for you, prying your attention only to themselves. They flirt so openly with you, some of their lines and allusions make even Melone feel slightly uncomfortable, so Ghiaccio sees those almost as if two husbands were shamelessly molesting Y/n
Melone
Melone knows that at times he may be a little bit… too much, so he turns it down for as much as he can so his “strange” tendencies won’t scare Y/n off. For the first few months purple-haired is nothing but sweet and caring, looking pretty normal, just like an average man that doesn’t think of breeding and all possible kinks every two minutes of his time
Even though, he acts like a gentleman with Y/n. Carrying heavy bags for you, giving you a hand when you get up, and if you’re studying medicine he’s up to help you if you have problems with understanding something. Melone had been studying for almost four years at medical uni but got kicked out for having sex with his cogrouper right in the uni. So he may be pretty helpful if you don’t get something or if you’re just interested in medicine
Least favorite rival: I can’t say that he cares much about other guys from La Squadra, but if he had to pick out one it’d be Illuso. It’s not about the way brunette tries to charm Y/n, purple-haired from every beginning didn’t like this guy. All of his conceit and arrogant behavior - it all just pisses Melone off
Pesci
Pesci is so so timid with Y/n, every time you walk by him, saying hi or just smiling at him, poor boy’s heart twists into tight knots. How are you so sweet? How are you so perfect?
Despite all your friendliness green-haired is still incredibly bashful, he is simply afraid of approaching Y/n. It doesn’t matter how much he likes you, Pesci just can’t force himself to try and initiate a chat. Sometimes Prosciutto helps him out with that a little (even though he doesn’t realize that he helps), but blonde is still careful with his actions, not letting even his precious Pesci get too close to Y/n
Least favorite rival: Formaggio. This guy is so noisy and vigorous, every time Pesci finally pulls himself together and finds the courage to approach Y/n this guy seems to appear from fucking nowhere, hogging your attention all to himself and leaving green-haired an angry blushing mess
Sorbet and Gelato
At the very beginning it feels more like you are Sorbet’s and Gelato’s child and they’re your parents fretting over you. They often take you with them on some trips, Gelato helps you with your school (if it’s something he knows about), Sorbet picks you up from work/school and drives you home etc
Sorbet is more of a tease, playing around with you, shamelessly flirting with Y/n, littering with not so pure compliments and comments. His touches are a little bit too long, his gazes are slightly too intense, even stupidest one would notice brunette’s longing for Y/n. Gelato is way less intense than his husband, blonde is way easier with his words, charming you with his sweet talking and constant doting. He’s more of a pillow that eases the expression Sorbet gives you
Sorbet’s least favorite rival: Risotto. Brunette hates how calm and well-composed Capo is, what if Y/n thinks that albino is cooler than he is? But Sorbet immediately makes a new plan in his head: if Risotto is more of a dad to Y/n, always doting on you and being so kind, Sorbet’s going to become your daddy, making you fall for him and Gelato, make you hungry for their attention
Gelato’s least favorite rival: blonde is pretty acknowledged that everyone in La Squadra tryies to get Y/n to themselves, he sees everyone (except Sorbet ofc) as his rival. Man dislikes everyone, seeing them as his opponents, but he doesn’t have a least favorite one. Yes, other members are hella pain in the ass, but blonde is pretty sure that Y/n will end up in his and Gelato’s arms anyways, so there’s no need to jangle his nerves
Masterlist | Smut Masterlist
#risotto nero#risotto nero x reader#prosciutto#prosciutto x reader#illuso#illuso x reader#formaggio#formaggio x reader#ghiaccio#ghiaccio x reader#melone#melone x reader#sorbet and gelato x reader#sorbet and gelato#pesci#pesci x reader#la squadra#la squadra headcanons#la squadra di esecuzione#jojo’s bizarre adventure#jojo#jjba#jojo headcanons#jojo part 5#vento aureo#jjba headcanons#vento aureo headcanons#golden wind#la squadra x reader
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