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inkskinned · 7 months

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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

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tibbycaps · 3 months

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people who dont want skizz on hermitcraft r wild because he would thrive. i know this to be true. i think its safe to say most hermitcraft fans’ favorite parts of the series are the shenanigans and interactions with other hermits right. you know how people praised tcg and decked out for bringing all of the hermits together more. now imagine if that was a Person. Skizzle man

#ur entitled to ur own opinion of course #but gawd i just know he would really get people to come together more and do silly bits #I NEED JOE HILLS AND SKIZZ IN A MINECRAFT ROOM TOGETHER

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muckyschmuck · 1 month

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theyre struggling

#ocs cosplaying cliche #if u remember me saying i wasgonna do this months ago ur entitled to. conpensation #fluffy art of the characyers who despise eachother 2 seconds before brawling #i love my girls who suck a (lot) little bit #i mean i love my nonbinaries who kind of suck a lotta bittle #suggestive #my art #oc art #digital art

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cpressmn · 1 year

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i’m about to start gatekeeping interacting with fic authors from a lot of y’all. u need to learn how to behave

“i need more” “pls continue this” “when are you posting the next bit” why don’t you try showing some proper appreciation for what’s already written before you go demanding more!!!

a lot of time and energy goes into each piece of writing and it is incredibly disappointing for the primary feedback to be “give me more!” if you’re trying to motivate authors to continue, this kind of response has the opposite effect.

you know what is motivating? specific praise.

let me break it down for you.

How To Leave A Comment Without (Unintentionally) Sounding Like A Pri- [GUNSHOT]

point out a few specific things you liked about the fic and why. how it made you feel.

highlight a line or two or three that stuck out to you.

if it’s an incomplete work, express excitement at seeing where they’re going — without a demand for more.

it’s quite simple, and it doesn’t even have to be a long thing. this can be done in a hundred words or less.

and yeah, it takes effort. takes a bit of time. but fandom is about mutual support. it’s about community.

fic authors are not celebrities who don’t even see your attempts to get their attention. there is a real person on the other side of that screen living a real life, and if you want to encourage them in their craft and properly motivate them to write, try treating them like a fucking human being.

authors put in hours to create content (that only ends up not being truly appreciated). i think you can spare a few minutes to leave a detailed, thoughtful comment in turn.

idk just a semi-friendly reminder that authors don’t owe you shit actually

#the entitlement is truly staggering sometimes #with all the respect that is due….what makes you think you get to ask for more content? what have you done to deserve it? to welcome it?#also if you’ve studied any kind of human behavior ever then you know that positive reinforcement does HEAPS better than whatever tf these #demands could be classified as.#shine talks #shine vents actually. WHEW #just a little bit worked up!! very upsetting to see talented people put in so much and receive so little in return.#this is my formal request for y’all to start doing better #.txt #fanfics #fanfic comments #and for anyone saying i’m being too harsh: i said unintentionally :/#if this is you then congrats! this is a safe space to fail at it. now’s when you learn and change your behavior. that’s all

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snarkythewoecrow · 1 year

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I had a friend come to me about a comment on their CLEARLY tagged fic, asking when it would stop being about X thing (that was tagged, and they were many chapters in), and these were my thoughts, which I hope will help show why that isn't the writer's problem, but rather, the reader's.

It's like, let me pick up this clearly labeled chocolate milk, that looks in every way like chocolate milk, let me drink half the glass, then look disgusted and ask you how much longer you plan to let this continue to be chocolate milk and not strawberry, because how could you not know that is the only type I like?

Now can't we all agree how entitled and silly that sounds?

So anyway, don't be that person. There are plenty of flavors to pick from, so go find the one you like and stop crying when something turns out to be exactly what's on the label

#ao3 #comments #lets try to be better than this #ao3 comments #some readers are getting a wee bit entitled #it's your responsibility to read the tags #curating your own experiences #fanfic #fanfiction

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pikahlua · 18 days

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So many plotpoints I just don't understand in this arc. Why have bkg die? Why have him fight afo? Why have izuku lose his arms? What purpose has any of it served???? At all???????

Todorki and ochakos fights were handled so well and streamlined and benefited their characters and arcs but bkgs and dekus have been a mess all bcus hori is a coward who won't just let them fight together bcus ig save to win and win to save meant nothing at all

Why have bkg die?

I think it's pretty clear from the way that whole thing was framed that the purpose of Katsuki dying was symbolic. This is a staple of Japanese drama running all the way back to kabuki. It is a trope for a main character to die to shed their mortal incarnation and come back to life as their deified form. Katsuki's death runs perfectly parallel to Tomura's from the PLW arc right down to the part where they are both responsible for their own resurrections. It's probably one of the best cases I can think of where a character's death actually did further that same character's arc without fridging them for the sake of someone else.

Why have [Katsuki] fight AFO?

Because AFO was set up as a "what if" scenario or cautionary tale for Katsuki, the other side to his "villains and heroes are two sides of the same coin" storyline. AFO in his physical form has a different character arc and story utility from AFO the quirk vestige. He provided a lot of backstory that allows us to infer the subtlety of how Katsuki is likely some sort of reincarnation of Kudou, the mechanics of which we will never need to revisit because they're unimportant. It was about karma and personal growth. It was about showcasing how Katsuki is an heir to many legacies, All Might's included.

Why have Izuku lose his arms?

Again, it's symbolic. It's been foreshadowed pretty heavily that Izuku would risk losing his arms in reaching out to save someone. This was a demonstration of his willingness to take on that risk. It also provides a moment for Eri to get in on the "everyone contributes a little bit to the fight" action all the other characters have been allowed to have. We don't even know yet what state Izuku will actually be in when this is all over, so it'd be premature to jump to any major conclusions about all of this. The story may still have a lot to say about this.

What purpose has any of it served???? At all???????

To entertain me specifically.

Bold of you to assume you've read the final chapter in the story yet.

#anon ask #ask pika #my hero academia manga spoilers #final arc spoilers #at this point i'm just gonna have to get snarky about all of these sorts of asks #if you guys won't stop to think about this story and find the answers to your questions yourself why is that my problem #you're entitled to your own opinion #but jeez #one sloppy chapter and you all go off the deep end with it i swear #as if every story out there doesn't have a bit of this going on #seriously #is this sort of reaction really merited just by the fact izuku's arms are being healed???#if you need context just know i've been getting a ton of asks like this lately and i'm pretty sure they're not all from different people

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peaches2217 · 25 days

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Grr! How DARE Nintendo not force Charles Martinet to continue performing Mario’s voice until he drops dead! How DARE his successor not sound exactly like him, down to every last tonal nuance! HOW DARE A FORTY-YEAR-OLD SERIES UNDERGO CHANGE 😤😤😤

#he literally sounds fine 😭😭😭#have y’all ever heard martinet’s pre-64 mario voice? it’s pretty different from what we’re familiar with #and his voice has changed quite a bit as martinet’s gotten older too — compare his odyssey voice clips to his 64 voice clips for God’s sake #afghani’s literally only voiced mario in one game and a handful of promos so far. give him time you entitled fucks 😭#this blog is violently pro-kevin afghani by the way. in case that wasn’t clear 😂#super mario bros #smb

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utilitycaster · 2 months

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re: the term parasocial, specifically because it's come up in my notes a few times after I reblogged the post about dropout: I'm extremely guilty of this and should work on being better but "parasocial" on its own is a neutral term. It just serves to describe relationships where you know about someone but do not personally know them.

The issue is really that unhealthy aspect of it, which in my experience usually boils down to when people feel entitled to the responses of someone they know socially from someone with whom their relationship is only parasocial. It's feeling like someone you don't know is obligated to agree with you or validate you or, frankly, to acknowledge you exist. Parasocial relationships are inevitable unless you never hear of or see people without engaging with them socially. It's not bad to relate to or feel a connection to a celebrity especially if they share personal stuff; in fact it can be really positive! It is a problem when you expect them to have a specific response (or tbh any response) to you.

#i know this is a little bit 101 but like the problem with dropout is specifically that fans put it on an IMPOSSIBLE pedestal #and also have like...looked the other way over SO many things they've lambasted other shows (cr especially) for #like the fans are SO entitled in a way that yeah feels like a balloon that's gonna burst sooner rather than later #also. i think people forget that parasociality isn't just celebs but the fandom itself.#like imo toxic positivity/elevation of fanon within a fandom is often an unhealthily parasocial problem #a how dare you not think everything every fan does is perfect mentality

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allbridgesburn · 3 months

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How would Coriolanus seduce Lucy Gray? What was their relationship like before?

Ohhh boy. They were so disgustingly cute back then. We got a glimpse of them in the last chapter (well, if you ignore the murder part of that dream). Young and hopeful. The trauma of the games in the back of their minds, but they had each other to chase away the tears and the bad dreams. There was that precious trust between them, and it felt safe? To be together? Even though they weren’t allowed to be?

Coriolanus was sneaking out of his quarters at night, constantly, much to Sejanus’s amusement. There were so many jokes. Lipstick smears on shirts and hickeys peeking from beneath his collar. A shit eating grin on his face, during most mundane moments.

Lucy Gray wrote him songs. Sang him songs. He would sit reading by her side, while she strummed her guitar, practicing cords, the sound of trees rustling to the wind its own melody as summer turned to autumn. She told him about her childhood. He told her about his own. She told him her fears, her dreams, her hopes. He didn’t tell her his.

In the winter, they sneaked out to the cottage in the woods, making a pantomime of a home there. Coriolanus returning from his shift, Lucy Gray cooking the most pitiful of vegetable soups, skirts swishing as she turned, saying “What time do you call this?”. Him wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck, insisting that she should rest her legs. The soup burnt, so many times.

They celebrated Christmas with the Covey, caroling around the district, kissing under the mistletoe. Even when the mistletoe wasn’t there. She cut his hair for him and stitched his clothes. He made sure his mother’s scarf kept the chill from her bones.

When spring came, he told her he loved her. He believed it to be true, and maybe it was— as much as it was possible for a man with a frozen heart. Lucy Gray’s happiness was almost a physical thing, surrounding her like a halo of gold. She shined so bright it almost hurt to see it.

She hoped it would never change. She didn’t know any of his plans.

And then—the guns. Sejanus. A snake, sinking its teeth into Coriolanus’s hand. A gunshot in the woods.

The rest you know.

#fic: wasteland #snowbaird #ask #there were also the bad parts #coriolanus picking up fights with men who looked at lucy gray a bit too long for his liking #or persuading her to ditch covey rehearsals to spend time with him #feeling entitled to her time and space and presence #she thought it was cute at first #but........ it wasn't

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possamble · 12 days

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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

#asks #she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too #with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect #and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive #but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards #I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi #you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent #and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too #not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat #but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment #and regrets it deeply #and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear #and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed #I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just #immediately arrives in Melini #and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out #and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille #on account of the crimes and all #marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down #'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood #but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear #and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately #it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking #and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance #marcilleposting #marcille donato

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