⚠️ sorta longass post

i like the characterization of Peepers' n Wander's dynamic where Peepers fucking hates Wander's guts n wants him dead i think its funny asf but also like. what if he doesnt. cuz Wander is a lot of things to Peepers, his boss' most hated enemy (that he needs to capture but doesn't half of the time cuz he sees it as a waste of time), an inconvenience to account for in his brilliant plans (which he doesnt do at first, ex. The Brainstorm, but later even incorporates Wander into his plans sometimes, ex. The Showstoppers, My Fair Hatey), the idiot friend of his Esteemed Rival, a tactical weakness("pure unadulterated love") that he needs to train the watchdogs out of, ect ect, but that's all through the lens of either his job or other people. i dont think Peepers actually personally hates Wander. if they existed in a vacuum bro would have no beef with him at all. and i don't think he does? id even say Peepers barely knows him enough to form a personal opinion abt him. i might even dare to say Peepers didn't even actually begin to acknowledge Wanders intelligence n the purposefulness behind his actions in The Prisoner. the fact that he continues to disregard n underestimate Wander (again ex. The Brainstorm n more) could suggest that him admitting that Wander is a "cunning, sly and crafty genius" back then was only to convince Hater to deactivate the self-destruct. n u could argue that his disregard of him is pretty reasonable especially compared to how outrageous Hater's concerns w him sound even if theyre real (ex. The Axe, The It, The Brainstorm n more) but i feel like it goes beyond that sometimes. Peepers refuses to acknowledge him as a real threat, refuses to see his strengths and, i feel like, refuses to actually get to know him. even from an enemy standpoint, yk keep ur friends close n ur enemies closer, n it probably has its roots in his shaky pride in his own intellect n hence self worth(i think its so fucking funny n also kinda pathetic how during That's how we'll get her when him n Sylvia were striking poses in the last chorus he pointed at his fucking head, oh he wants to be the brains to her brawn soooooo bad) that would falter if he admits to himself that WANDER of all ppl is a genius, n that's smth that comes to bite him in the ass often — but imagine if he did. imagine him starting to realize stuff abt Wander, begin to understand him, willingly or not. imagine him getting to know Wander, without the lense of everything else they got going on. i think that just has so much potential for enhancing their dynamic n is so interesting... n ill probably never actually do anything abt it but its rlly fun to think abt. like imagine. imagine that

regulus incorrect quotes

Sirius: Sooooo do you have a crush on anybody???

Regulus: The only crush I have is this crushing anxiety

Regulus: oh, and your best friend

Sirius: YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON MOONY?

Regulus:.... you know what? I'm going to leave and let you figure out that one on your own

imagine saying allat abt a woman who was proposed to in a FIRST DATE like let’s be so real rn saeko was being way kinder than i woulda been 💀💀💀

saeko handled that like a champion like a queen like a legend like an icon i'm number three saeko stan in the world

being a schizophrenic th fan genuinely fucking sucks more than anything ever

hi again

thinking about red valley. genuinely dont think ive ever listened to a podcast that understands the anger aspect of ptsd better than it does. warren godby is such a great character

Ed really havin a Flint moment huh

for how bad killing eve got the books are infinitely worse.

it always pisses me off when people start ghosting me and completely cut me off and think i'm annoying because I didn't ~get the hint~ all because they're too much of a coward to be straightforward and honest with me!!!!

i'll keep asking about a thing or when we are hanging out or try to converse with them, because their response is always excuses and not straight up "no" so how am I supposed to know?! either short responses of 1-5 words that I can't really respond to or things like "I'm busy this weekend/I'm too tired today/I forgot about it/we can try next time/I'll get back to you and le you know" are apparently all hints and lies to hide the truth. what they really mean when they tell me this is "no, stop asking. stop talking to me. I do not want to hang out with you or talk to you anymore"

why can't you just say that?! it will save you the annoyance of me asking you 20 times because i took your words at face value. your excuses sound temporary and you didn't get back to me so maybe you forgot. there are rare times people say these things and it's the truth or they really did forget!!!! when I say it, it's the truth. I also have a bad memory. you can't just suddenly ghost me for that! it's on you if you aren't being honest with me. it's up to you to be straightforward and tell the truth so you don't waste both our time. (what's worse is this is usually one of the first things I tell people when we meet. that I need then to be straightforward and honest. they promise they will but that's also a lie)

ghosting is so cruel (when the other person has no bad intentions/isnt causing harm). more cruel than telling me to my face you hate me and never want to speak again! i actually prefer that, so i at least know and can give up on your useless ass and stop wasting my time. don't give me false hope when i'm really excited to be friends and hang out, don't waste my time and energy and efforts, and don't lead me on with lies only to crush my entire soul when I find the truth much later. just say it and get it over with!!!! it's your fault if I annoy you by "not taking the hint" because there was no hint, lying isn't a hint. spill the truth and don't blame me for it!!!!!!

this is why i've given up with people and now only give attention to the ones who contact me first every time continuously, and I put little effort into anything anymore. I know that will end up making some people give up on me by thinking i dont care. but I'm tired of wasting my time and energy on the people who put no effort into me. you must prove yourself and keep doing it or I won't try at all. the people who ghost me and hurt me are to blame. yes, I live a very lonely existence with maybe one friend I talk to once every week or two for a total of 5 minutes at most. yes I wish I had more connections or closer ones. but i'm SO FUCKING TIRED. i'm tired of trying so much and so hard just for people to shit on my efforts and disrespect my needs and boundaries!!!!!!

why should I keep trying when it always ends bad and adds yet another layer to my trauma.

I've acquired a bit of an old man sleep schedule. I can't stay awake till 11 most nights and usually wake up naturally around 445-530. Not that I'm complaining, I am much happier as a morning person than I was as a night person, but it is a bit funny.

sometimes it feels like ppl on here think ppl who are stern and assertive are shitty and its like... im sorry but ive been walked on all my life, if im not stern and assertive ppl treat me like shit. 

good morning. individuals. i hope you are well today. i am experiencing post lancer shock syndrome and my throat is hoarse cuz i think i actually started screaming super frantically and my brain is fried at the implications that come forth after finding out there is someone who looks exactly like sigourney working for the ungratefuls. it's her. it's exactly her. but she's got both her eyes. and it throws yves for such a loop he starts crying in his mech and panics and panics and panics.

its such a bizarre feeling when ur suddenly necessitated to acknowledge a thought process that a. u didnt even notice was there because its so natural to u and b. that other ppl dont think like that

when i end up posting a 10k word ramble on main about the power of fandom spaces in regards to comfort and trauma etc, someone better give me a hug bc i've probably gone insane by then and need it

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howd u feel about the fob album mania? i didnt like the music but i thought the purple was fun

Okay, okay, I actually have a lot of complex feelings about mania. It was the first new album I ever got on vinyl, and it was the first album that I was able to experience as it got released after getting really into fob (I remember when srar and ab/ap came out but I wasn't REALLY into them, and fad came out when I was only allowed to listen to christian music lol). There are only 3 that I don't really like (stay frosty, champion, young and menace), most of the rest are okay but I do love to sing, but last of the real ones and bishops knife trick are some of my favorite songs of theirs (I also think that the line "these are the last blues we're ever gonna have / let's see how deep we get" is, among other things, a callback to the hum hallelujah line "I'll sing the blues and swallow them too" which. I'm obsessed with "intertextual" references like that). I can definitely see why some people don't like it or are ambivalent to it, the songs as a whole don't have a lot of conceptual cohesion, the lyrics are...... A little all over the place sometimes, and it does kinda feel like they went digging through Pete's old livejournal (I think?) And said "you could make an album out of this!" But like. I still love it. And I do agree, the purple was very fun.

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Wtf was up with the llamas tho????