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#idk which he'd think is worse
brittlebutch · 3 months
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Desperately trying to make sense of Alex's motivations in Season Two and you know, I do eventually have to wonder if maybe Alex wasn't actually lying in the majority of those tapes.
Like, we tend to assume that Alex's motivations have been a consistent throughline since the college years, but do we actually know that that's the case? Do we know for sure that Alex was acting in deliberate, calculated ways in 2006; or could it be that he's telling the Truth on those olds tapes when he says he's blacking out and can't remember what's happening to anyone? After all, if we're assuming that Season 2 Alex's motivations are the exact same as his motives in Season 3, then it doesn't make any sense at all that he spend months working with Jay to try to find Amy; Season 3 Alex would have attempted to kill Jay like, on sight just to get things over with as quickly as possible and contain the spread of contamination as best as he could.
But, maybe, if Alex really had been separated from Amy after the events of the 04-04-10 tape, and if he really doesn't know where she is, then maybe that could make things start to make more sense. Maybe he really had been watching Jay's channel, and seeing Jay start going through the same things he went through in college without things devolving into violence and disappearances, and wondered if things maybe could play out differently this time. Maybe he really did send that tape to Jay to ask him for help, maybe he really was just trying to find Amy.
But then, instead of actually being helpful, Jay makes it extremely clear that he's a lot more interested in stalking Alex than he is in finding Amy. Alex asked for help, and instead there's a bunch of masked dudes on Jay's heels that keep attacking him, Jay is breaking into his house, stealing his things, leading the Operator right to him all over again, keeps trying to get other people (namely: Jessica -- if Alex is being honest when he says that his call reassuring her that Amy had been found was an effort to make Sure she stayed away from everything that was happening) involved; and instead of anything getting better, instead of anyone finding Amy, things are just getting worse all over again.
It's not until after the incident at the tunnel that things seem to start rapidly devolving. Rather than a calculated attempt to finally follow through with his need to curb the spread of contamination, this is very clearly an outburst of rage and terror. Alex's "I told you not to follow me" line in conjunction with Jay speculating that Alex didn't know who that guy was, to me, pretty firmly seems to speak to Alex having mistaken that stranger for Jay. From his point of view, Alex knows that Jay and totheark know where he live, have broken in before, he suspects that Jay stole a key to make it easier to get into his house, and he's been followed on the daily for months -- Alex is sitting at the tunnel because he doesn't know where else he can go without being constantly surveilled, hunted, and assaulted. And instead of getting a moment by himself to breathe, Jay followed him out there all over again (it feels like Alex looks directly at the camera in Jay's footage of him from this day; he knew for a fact that Jay was there), and then to make matters worse now 'Jay' won't even keep his distance anymore.
So Alex lashes out. And it's not until afterwards that he looks down and finally recognizes that this wasn't Jay -- it was someone completely innocent. Things have finally reached the low point he was at in college all over again; maybe even worse this time. If Alex doesn't remember attacking anyone in college, but he was at least partially conscious of it this time, then things have reached an entirely new rock bottom, they've reached an absolute point of no return.
He has no idea what happened to Amy, and he's spent months trying to find her with no hint of where she could be; he doesn't know where Jay actually is or what additional trouble he could be causing at this point; he does know that now innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire (in regards to the stranger in the tunnel, and also Jessica now that Jay has her phone number, and the untold number of people Jay got involved when he started posting videos to the Marble Hornets channel); things are spiraling out of control and there's no one left to ask for help. The situation isn't getting better, it's getting worse; things aren't getting easier to handle, they're just getting more out of hand; the negative impact is spreading and who knows how much further it can still go?
So, Alex decides to go scorched earth. He disfigures the body with the rock either to hide evidence or to make sure the guy would actually stay dead and not just get back up to start his own cycle of contamination in a few years. He tries to give Jay one last chance to back off, and Jay instead admits he's been talking to Jessica, acts obstinate and lies about not having Alex's spare key, and then breaks into Alex's house a second time (minimum). If Alex doesn't stop him now, who will? Alex met with Jay planning to kill the others, and then himself, so he could put a stop to this once and for all and keep things from getting any worse than they already were.
Maybe it makes a lot more sense if, rather than being a strangely incomprehensible detour on what should have been a straight path, the events of Season Two were the breaking point that put Alex on that path to begin with.
#N posts stuff#idk!!! I've been thinking a lot lately about the tendency to take Characters at Face Value; when they tell us things we tend to#automatically believe them despite what evidence we might have to the contrary. & like when it comes to deciphering what#went down during the college film project it's mostly totheark that posits that Alex was Definitely Lying and Definitely Acting on Purpose#(even Jay is largely ambivalent - wondering which way it leans and basically saying it could go either way)#but. do we KNOW that they know that? Do we Know that they're Right when they claim that? Or are they just Assuming based off#of their own rage and animosity towards Alex due to what happened? Do we Know for Sure that Alex Was Lying in s1?#i don't know if we do!! And so without Knowing that for sure; how can we speak to Alex's motivations in season one OR season two?#now TO BE CLEAR: I am not saying this in an attempt to claim that Alex is somehow completely innocent of all guilt and that like.#Jay is the 'Real Antagonist' of the series - not at all my intention. this is just More of my usual 'look. Everyone in this series is#all kinds of Morally Grey; no recurring character in this series is free of guilt they ALL have unique fatal flaws & trends towards#antagonism that makes things worse and dooms them all' shtick - a la 'everyone Thinks they're doing the Right Thing but No One Is'#BUT i Am wondering if this Does help to like. clear up some of the ambiguity/uncertainty of Season Two - and even Season One - and#lets the series as a whole read a little bit clearer? idk i know that Jay does Claim to think that Alex was bullshitting him#the whole time & was Actually planning on tying up loose ends the whole time but AGAIN it doesn't make Sense he'd wait so long#idk - Am i making sense? does any of this track? i'm trying to figure it out; i am open to comments on the subject to help#i haven't rewatched season 3 yet today and so maybe there's stuff in there that contradicts this whole theory lmao but i'm taking a break#and just posting this anyway; we'll see what happens lol#marble hornets#mh lb
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hella1975 · 9 months
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sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you
#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often#bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off'#but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting#bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her#like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around#like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life#but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met#and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM#like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him#but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years#& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite#he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs#he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house#he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent#or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one'#and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company#i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon#and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it#bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people#who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight#i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now#why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough#hella goes home#my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag
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coderzxd · 7 months
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When you create a boyfriend because you're all alone
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guideaus · 1 year
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something I really like about skip and loafer is there are multiple scenes that really hammer in how discussions in the work are intentionally inclusive. I think I remember three scenes (and maybe there are more) where a character goes out of their way to emphasize that they shouldn't think in terms of gender or whatever, but as people and I think that's really nice. mukai assures mika that a guy would usually be glad to receive a present and he reflects thinking he should've said "anyone" instead, another example, I can't remember exactly where in the manga, but the girls literally say they shouldn't judge by gender or whatever, and then mitsumi telling shima she'd like him as a person no matter what.
it just feels really nice because i know a lot of manga, anime, or whatever (mp*00/tr*gun/pers*na 5) will have a positive theme like kindness, love & peace, or not judging, but then still include content that inherently undermines their own message, and that always feels very disappointing. those instances always seem to preach a good idea, but then make it feel exclusionary with some joke or whatever, so it's nice to see skip and loafer not do that and instead go all the way with it's message of love
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jrueships · 2 years
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all the current rockets would’ve bullied me in middle school … except gup of course 🥰
oh most definitely BUT IDK IF YOU CAN KEEP HOLDIN FAITH IN GUP.... he looks like he points at people who tried wearing clothes outside their comfort zone telling them 'you thought you ate'
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dashiellqvverty · 2 years
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its like. yes EYE have known since season 1 or at least 2 that will has a crush on mike but like at this point in the narrative (mike and el being Fully Together and it being a jealousy thing etc) its like. one of the WORST possible ways to actually make will gay and i would almost rather they not do it
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southislandwren · 8 months
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okay i have ten million things to do before i leave for my event tomorrow. but for now im going to play games and chill out. i deserve it. also do you guys think i was appropriately pathetic and endearing when my repro prof was like "howd you do on the quiz" and i said 16/20 and he said "that's pretty good!" and i went "i wanted to do better" in the tiniest voice i could manage. i need him to pity me so i can pass
#i went up to him after getting my quiz back and was like dr. c? 🥺 how can a male produce spermatozoa but be considered infertile? 🥺#we'll see how todays quiz went. im more confident on girl parts because of the whole afab situation but i skipped yesterdays class#so idk. i felt good about it but who knows.#i saw P in the small conference room and she was like hows repro? need help?#and i am SO soft that shes looking out for me i love my dairy people :(((#but idk. its only week 3. its going to get worse.#next week we're palpating cattle which i am historically bad at#(remember when i went around to three different cows and couldnt feel a single cervix. yeah)#but who knows! im smart i'll figure something out#i have like 3 different major situations going on rn. cant wait to get sloppy drunk on sunday and complain to my internship boss's mom#astro prof really likes me and i really like her and i really like astronomy#and i skipped lab and the eclipse prep got cancelled#so the next time i'll see her is tuesday and im giving my constellation presentation#(also how fucked up is it that i got assigned libra and my tablemates got fucking auriga. which has capella. which is my favorite star.)#feels kind of cheap tbh#also clarinet prof also really likes me and he wasnt mean abt the fact i only practiced twice this week#and he was saying i had nice embechure or whatever im not putting effort into spelling that correctly#and whenever other music people came into his office for whatever reason#he'd be like 'this is Hope! shes a dairy science major! this is her second clarinet lesson and she made it over the break!'#idk. its crazy to think about how bad i was doing on monday and tuesday and now im like. basically fine.#like yes im sad yes i was crying about being stupid and worthless earlier today#but im not in crisis mode anymore#idk. sorry. gonna play a game. probably mariokart or something#diary post#school post
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sabertoothwalrus · 1 month
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make a farcille fankid. im a fankid fan and i think that adding to the whole complicated situation is great. the political ramifications of EVERYTHING about laios's country are fantastic and making it worse by adding more interspecies kids (shoutout to chilchuck's grandkids) is fascinating
great cause I already started drawing adjkfghdjfg
PLEASE READ THIS POST TO UNDERSTAND MY THOUGHT PROCESS BEHIND THIS
but yeah I !!!!!! really like the political implications of 1) having a half-elf (which the queen of elves doesn't recognize as people) as a royal court mage who is 2) gay married to King's sister who is 3) a chimera
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additionally!!!! I think Laios would pick his niece to be his successor, for several reasons:
I think he's gay. maybe aro-spec.
I don't think he'd MIND marrying a woman. He had a fiance (which ended when he left home, meaning he was engaged before the age of THIRTEEN) so I think he just always assumed he would get married at some point, regardless of his personal feelings about it
haven't decided if I think he would get gay married, get comphet married, or stay single. I think it depends on How progressive he thinks Melini should be, other countries' feelings be damned. (unless Kabru says no, actually, that's a little too risky.)
point being IDK if Laios would have any kids of his own
He LOVES Falin. He loves Marcille as well. He'd fucking LOVEEEEE their kid my GOD would he spoil her!!!!! Best Uncle In The World
He probably thinks any chimera traits she'd have Fucking Rule and would think it's badass for someone like that to have the throne
yeah so. uh. enjoy farcille fankid
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hannieehaee · 1 month
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Member walking into svt member x reader having sex
another member walking in on member and their gf
18+ / mdi
content: established relationship, being caught having sex, smut, second hand embarrassment, mentions of a crush in some of these, afab reader, penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 2156
a/n: idk if these even make sense i wrote them all at completely different times and i have no idea if i even repeated members oops also not proofread </3
masterlist
seungcheol -
knowing about seokmin's crush on you, seungcheol couldn't help but feel genuine annoyance as, out of all people, seokmin happened to walk in on seungcheol eating you out, giving him the perfect view of your unfiltered nude body along with the blissed out look on your face. what made things worse was that it had taken the both of you a good thirty seconds to notice the door had been opened by a gaping lee chan who just seemed unable to close his mouth nor move a single bone in his body.
seungcheol would have to take matters into his own hands and yell at the boy to get the hell out, grumbling at knowing that seokmin's crush would likely just intensify after this. he'd have to take out these frustrations on you, making sure you were as loud as possible in order to at least assert some dominance.
jeonghan -
he's a fucking freak, he'd probably like it. you were facing away from the door, riding him as you threw your head back and had your eyes closed shut. he'd be able to see behind you, spotting minghao as soon as he accidentally walked in on you. he'd be shocked for a total of two seconds before smirking at minghao and inciting you into being louder for him (though without giving you any indication that a third person had appeared).
surprisingly to jeonghan, minghao wouldnt leave. he'd stay frozen in place staring at your form and hearing the lewd sounds of skin slapping and the pretty whines both you and jeonghan were letting out. it would take him a bit to slap himself out of it, suddenly leaving in a rush and shutting the door closed without realizing, thus finally alerting you. eventually jeonghan would let you in on what happened and continue to tease minghao about it for ever and ever.
joshua -
joshua was conflicted. one one hand, he felt mortified at vernon walking in on him ramming his hips against your ass in a desperation you'd only ever really see in a wild animal (specially since you were also in a pretty compromising position), but on the other hand, he felt kinda proud at drawing such an expressive reaction out of his usually stoic friend.
vernon was nearly impossible to scare, and almost even more impossible to embarrass. and the sight of you and joshua fornicating had just caused both at the same time. however, any semblance of pride left joshua as soon as he detected even the smallest trace of lust in vernon's eyes as his eyes remained on your form. what the hell was he even still doing here? after cursing him out with some very diverse language, vernon finally left with a hurried apology, leaving joshua with the task of putting you in the mood again after such a weird interaction.
jun -
even after all these years, jun had not yet grown used to the lack of privacy that came along with having twelve men around him at all times. he had learned to manage it, but there were instances in which he simply needed his very well deserved privacy. such as in his intimate moments with you. unfortunately, his brothers had grown too used to lack of privacy among each other, meaning that walking in on you was only a matter of time. and it had to be seungcheol of all people.
being the polite boy he is, jun was unable to even yell at the older man when he walked in and remained frozen without even thinking of making an immediate exit. he'd splutter a bit, barely being able to cover you up with a nearby blanket before coming to his senses and realizing it was completely acceptable for him to yell at his leader for freezing up at such an uncomfortable moment for you. upon also snapping out of his trance, seungcheol would apologize and leave, though the damage had been done. jun would now have to go to sleep completely blue balled because of his friend.
soonyoung -
sure, he was close with jihoon, but that didn't mean he wanted him to be privy to every intimate detail of his life, specially not what he got up to with you behind closed doors. even though he knew jihoon wasn't a perv by any means, and that him walking in on you had been nothing but an accident, he would still react exasperated in the heat of the moment.
he would immediately notice the new source of light entering the room as he railed you into the mattress. fortunately for him, you had been pinned down under him and your front was facing the door, meaning that all jihoon saw before soonyoung spluttered around for the covers had been him humping at you from above. an embarrassing image to share with a friend, but at least he kept the goods (you) to himself.
wonwoo -
a smirk. small but still fully present. wonwoo could've sworn he saw a smirk of satisfaction on jeonghan's face as he walked in and stopped in his tracks at the sight of you on all fours and wonwoo's hips going crazy against your ass. of course, of all people, jeonghan would find such moment amusing. he knew his friend to be a bit unpredictable in how he reacted to certain things, but wonwoo had not expected him to quite literally stop and stare.
wonwoo, like any reasonable man, had frozen in shock at the intrusion. it had taken him a few moments to actually pull out of you and cover you as much as his own bare body would allow. he also had to take it upon himself to yell at jeonghan to get the hell out. this instance would cause both you and wonwoo to feel awkward around jeonghan for a few days. the older man's smirk would not leave him during those few days, only making you and wonwoo even more sheepish around him.
jihoon -
had it been anyone else, maybe he wouldnt have had a problem, but it had to be mingyu. he already felt some type of way about the way in which mingyu would occasionally flirt with you (he knew his friend had a flirty personality, but still!!), so it did not help to know that mingyu now knew what you looked like in the throes of passion, much less the fact that the man in question stood there watching for a good minute.
in this situation, jihoon had to take whatever means necessary to protect your privacy (though it was already too late) throwing you off him without thinking and throwing a pillow on top of you to cover you as much as a measly pillow would allow. after this, like an idiot, he would grab his boxers and chase after mingyu, completely forgetting that he left you completely confused at what had just happened.
seokmin -
it's not that seokmin was a jealous man. nor had he ever felt insecure in your relationship. however ... having his very handsome friends around his very pretty girlfriend would sometimes leave him feeling a bit ... off. like now. specially now. an instance in which he had been making love to you, passionate in the way he thrust into you and licked into your mouth. up until your mouth left his own to look at the sudden intrusion that had just entered the room. wonwoo. a very shirtless and very wide-shouldered wonwoo.
after some moments of the three of you simply staring at one another in shock, seokmin finally took action and covered you up, disliking the way in which wonwoo's eyes had made their way to your nude body, and specially not liking the concept of you and his friend looking at one another (almost completely) in the nude, no matter if it was merely an accident. he would sulk about this for days, needing reassurance from both you and wonwoo about the unfortunate incident.
mingyu -
why did seungkwan have to be so damn nosy? why couldnt he just take mingyu's half-assed excuse about 'being sick' and let him go back to his hotel room to rest instead of joining the members in impromptu karaoke? maybe if he had just left the situation alone, he wouldn't have had to be chased out of the room by a very naked mingyu for screaming as soon as he saw mingyu folding you in half on his bed.
okay, backtracking a little ... maybe mingyu was the first one to scream. but he wasnt expecting any interruptions during his alone time with you, okay?? he screamed in shock, then seungkwan screamed in shock, then he's pretty sure he heard soonyoung screaming from the front door of the hotel room, which had been enough for mingyu to act on a whim and throw a blanket on top of you, grabbing some boxers and chasing seungkwan (and seemingly soonyoung) back into their rooms all while sporting a boner.
minghao -
why. why did he forget to lock the door again. that was his immediate thought at soonyoung excitedly running past his door without considering that minghao mightve been busy on the other side of it. and he was. as he was currently pistoning into your cunt from behind, having you arching your back for him in a way that gave him a delicious view of your ass. a view that was meant for him only.
hoshi became embarrassed and sheepish almost immediately, realizing that, yet again, his enthusiasm got the best of him and put him in an awkward situation. he'd sheepishly make his way out as he avoided eye contact. minghao would simply sigh and face palm internally, giving you no time to react as he began fucking you again. hoshi would have some trouble making eye contact with either you or minghao for the following week.
seungkwan -
not him. anyone but him. chan? did chan, of all people, have to become privy to the inner workings of your figure? something which was meant to be reserved for seungkwan's eyes only? he'd notice chan's presence immediately, screaming at him to get the hell out as he scrambled to cover you up. in the meantime chan would be frozen in place, with his eyes very clearly zoned in on your tits, causing kwan to grow even more frustrated.
in what felt like an eternity (but was actually under two minutes), chan would finally exit the room and leave a very exasperated seungkwan behind. he'd be too bothered to finish what you guys were doing, now needing you to calm him down from the annoyance he felt at chan, knowing that the boy whom he bantered with every day could now add the image of your nude body to his spank bank.
vernon -
he would be far too lost in the pleasure he felt as you rode him, eyes closed and face buried in your tits as he bit licked absentmindedly. you'd be the one to notice jun's sudden appearance, widening your eyes but making no other indication of shock. jun would react similarly, though his eyes would swim from your face to your tits (or what he could see from them through vernon's head in the way) to the way you ground against his friend.
for some unknown reason to both you and jun, the two of you would maintain eye contact as you started rutting against your boyfriend harder and faster, making him groan and moan against you as he reached his peak. jun would leave when he felt like he couldnt handle any more, now thinking of you in a completely different way. you'd confess what had happened to vernon afterwards (after he inquired as to what made you fuck him so animalistically ..), which would surprise him and weirdly turn him on.
chan -
chan had never expected that joshua's usually confident demeanor would finally crumble at the mere sight of your blissed out appearance as chan knelt between your legs. your entire body was facing the door from which joshua had come in, your breasts were bare, your eyes were crossed, your mouth was agape, your body was contorting itself at the pleasure, your cunt was obstructed by chan's mouth as he desperately sucked and licked at you, moans going in tune with your own. the sight was out of any man's dream.
but it was interrupted very quickly. chan immediately felt a new source of light, making him get up without a second thought and cover you up as much as he could in the heat of the moment (even if it meant exposing himself in the process – you were the priority). chan had never seen joshua so sheepish as he tried to smoothly make his way out of the room. joshua had never seen chan so serious as he cursed at him to get out (nor had he ever seen chan's girlfriend look so enticing ...).
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mikareo · 3 months
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“ ࣭⸰ ★ HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU . . . ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 呪術廻戦 ; gojo satoru x fem reader (1k)
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⊹ ⠀⠀ valentine's day is approaching; and with a valentine comes love...or for worse...heartbreak.
contains; gojo satoru x fem reader, angst, mentions of fluff idk, there’s some swearing i think author's note; happy (almost) valentine's,, i’m projecting
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1 day, 9 hours, and 47 minutes.
your last conversation wasn't anything out of the ordinary. there was no dry spell. no plateau. no failure to communicate. just you and satoru, plus the typical banter, talking about something as simple as what you were planning on making for dinner; to be more precise, what you were trying to make for dinner. you're a pretty awful cook according to him.
everything seemed to be going so well...really well...almost perfectly well— and with valentine's day right around the corner, you'd instinctively assumed that he'd ask you to be his. instinct is a difficult emotion, though. is it even an emotion? you're not quite sure, but your heart believes it is. your heart— which is practically pounding out of your chest at the current moment, stretching your skin, eager to feel the limitless fresh air and freedom that comes with floating on cloud 9— instinctively wants to believe satoru is your soulmate. you love him don't you? is the answer yes? it should be no.
you've known him for...what? four months? four months of your twenty years of life is seemingly small. that's only one point six-seven percent of your entire lifetime...one point six-seven percent of your life that you wish you could relive forevermore.
...he isn't going to text you back is he?
2 days, 2 hours, and 15 minutes.
each second passing is another flicker of hope that misses the candle wick. instead of lighting the path that leads to your eventual relationship, it lights a fire beneath your feet. your socks feel warm. there's coal beneath them. hot, burning coal withering away the sense of feel in your toes; breathing in the aroma of heartbreak until it becomes a roaring fire that consumes all of you.
why is he doing this? what did you do wrong? you haven't done anything wrong. he's just a man. a man who can't seem to stop playing with your heart.
you can hear his voice in the back of your mind. the part of your mind that connects to your heart. "can you facetime, right now? i'm having a bad day and i just want to see your face." he had to have meant that. "you don't need to apologize for talking over me, i love hearing what you have to say." a guy wouldn't just say that to say that. "don't be too hard on yourself, i know you'll figure everything out becuase you're you. you always know what to do." it couldn't have all been bullshit.
it can't have been bullshit.
because if that's all it was, then you're just a fool in love.
and fools in love are no better than clowns.
3 days, 14 hours, and 22 minutes.
you did what you hate doing. the thing that makes you want to scream into your pillow at the mere thought. the very thing that screams desperation and neediness and clinginess and insecurity all in one. you sent another message.
in the past, you've never had feelings strong enough to elicit such a response. your heart hasn't tied itself to another person's with a red satin bow. the fated string of fate hadn't found you yet. it allowed you to maintain a stable head and remain grounded with no hopes of love on your radar. you hadn't yet learned how to fly; until that day you met satoru and suddenly you had a hundred pilot lessons lined up day-after-day.
it was so easy being with him. everything was so easy.
for the first time ever you had no doubts. you weren't afraid of waking up one morning to find him gone. disappeared. nonexistent. you full-heartedly believed he'd never leave; and you believed he reciprocated those thoughts. now, though...now you may never know what bits and pieces he reciprocated— because your plane crashed. turbulence flew beneath the wings and drove the flight off course. the oxygen masks bellowed down upon the passengers, every seat being filled with your pounding heartbeats, and each and every one of them blew out of the window with no parachute. he didn't even try to cushion the fall.
4 days, 1 hour, and 39 minutes.
if there's one message you never expected to receive, it's surely 'seen 14 hours ago'.
you'd given him space and assumed he'd been busy with a million other things and hadn't had any time to send you a quick message. your last text wasn't even anything out of the ordinary, just a quick "are you okay?", you think that's pretty reasonable. it's reasonable, isn't it?
something could be seriously wrong with him. why else would he leave you on read? he's never done this before. usually, you're the one who's more distant between the two of you. that's how your relationship began, after all. he'd send five texts in comparison to your two; which later evolved into five rivaling five, and now to zero rivaling two. the scales have tipped. how do you rebalance them?
you trust satoru. there must be a perfectly good explanation for this odd irregularity that's occurring in your otherwise perfect relationship. after all, all of your friends love him— they think he's the greatest catch of the 21st century. he's never done anything in the past to warrant such strange behavior. this is simply a difficult week for him...and you'll be there whenever he's ready to vent.
5 days, 22 hours, and 7 minutes.
a broken heart isn't for the weak...but unfortunately, you're not one of the stronger warriors.
he's at another girl's birthday party. he hasn't messaged you back in almost six days...and he's with another girl? celebrating her? he could be holding her close and you wouldn't even know, because god knows he wouldn't tell you. he won't even say good morning anymore. he won't even answer your fucking three word message that you sent out of desperation and concern for his well being. instead, he's at the club with his friends, getting drunk and taking shots, having the time of his life; and you're sitting in your room watching his social media stories...believing that everything that went wrong is all your fault.
but it's not your fault.
it's not your fault you fell for someone like that.
someone like satoru gojo.
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hella1975 · 1 year
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hella I keep getting edits with some sort of original version of waiting room?? on my fyp and I'm gonna be honest waiting room wasn't a song that did me in quite as badly as the rest of you but this version I keep hearing literally rips my heart straight open😭😭 like I've been planning on fixing the no waiting room on spotify issue by taking it into my own hands🏴‍☠️ but now I know it's gonna have to be this version I'm not even bothering with lost ark waiting room. it's just gonna be waiting room og bc what the fuck?? "I never grew up with you, and you're not my waiting room" what the fuck??? with the haunting background noises literally WHAT THE FUCK????????
OMG IVE SEEN THAT ONE everyone keeps going on about the vocals of 'and you're not my waiting room' but i really cant get over 'i never grew up with you' like what??? WHAT??????
#for some reason i rlly connected this song to a childhood friend of mine that im pretty sure ive at least vaguely mentioned on here before#but basically we were INSEPERABLE for years of my childhood and he was about 2 years older than me#so i think i was 5 and he was 7 when we met and we stayed friends until i went up to secondary school so SIX YEARS#and we literally spent all day together we'd play in the gardens and run about the place and we were both really outdoorsy#and obvs it was before proper tech really started coming in so it was when kids literally just got shoved outside for the day#and left to their own devices and it was GREAT like i remember him and that time so fondly#but he was also really messed up like he'd come from a lot of foster homes and he'd had every kind of abuse#and he'd finally been adopted by the couple on my street who just couldn't handle him bc their answer to his issues#was to spoil him and give him what he wanted so he just got worse bc he had a real violent streak in him#and obvs if you let that grow in a boy they're not gonna wake up one day and it'll be gone like. it's going to get malicious#and low and behold he started getting like actually dangerous like he choked his sister once and he got kicked out of school#bc he threated to BEHEAD A GIRL WITH AN AXE like really fucked up shit#but i was in a pick me moment bc he was always really nice and respectful to me until he wasnt#and even then ive never ever blamed him for it bc we were both young and he was so traumatised#and sooner or later we stopped hanging out and my mum was relieved bc that's how bad he was getting#and ive literally never spoken to him again. but he's just one of those people i think about all the time????#like idk if it's bc of what went down or bc of the age i was but he was a HUGE deal to me and my development#and for some evil fucking reason i think of him when i listen to waiting room especially the 'i know it's for the better'#bc i KNOW it's for the better i got away from him before he got really bad but still i so desperately wish i couldve helped him yk?#especially now i understand what abuse actually means and what he'd suffered which i had no idea about at the time#SO TO ADD 'I NEVER GREW UP WITH YOU' WHEN I FEEL LIKE I ABANDONED HIM AS CHILDREN?? STOPPPP#PHOEBE PLEASEEEE#anyway unnecessary rant over rori pls pirate this song for the masses pls pls the world needs you#ask
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ghouljams · 4 months
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I was just rereading the cowboy AU, and the way Simon is with his girls, I feel like he has a rough time with them getting their baby vaccines, the old softy.
Idk if you know this, but usually for the infant ones, doctors have the parents hold their kiddos as they do the shot.
So yeah, Mary cries and screams during her baby vaccines and Simon is having a HARD time trying to be strong for his little girl. Then Duck tells him that John cried when Goose got her first vaccines as a baby
He's such a big baby about his babies. Of course taking them to get their shots is his least favorite activity. There's nothing that makes Simon feel worse than holding his infant daughter while she screams and cries. He knows she needs the shots, knows that she'll be ok afterwards, but damn he hates it. Hates sitting and listening to the doctor tell him what to watch out for, hates the way his baby looks up at him with a wobbly lip when she sees the needle, hates every part of it.
Not to mention Simon hates doctors. So when the pediatrician tells him to relax so the baby doesn't think something is wrong, that doesn't happen. Simon is stock still like he's holding position for sniping, he isn't going to budge until this is over and the doctor isn't going to change that by asking. He can hardly look at himself after his daughter calms down, giggling and cooing at whatever toy the pediatrician waves in front of her as if she wasn't crying seconds ago. Simon buys her a stuffie just to make up for being the worst father in the world, and you have the nerve to laugh at him when he tells you that. ("Why's Mary got a new bear?" "Because I'm a terrible father")
It's worse when they're older and he takes one of them to get a vaccine. Holding his daughter in his lap so she doesn't try to run and being told "I hate you daddy" through big rivers of tears. It breaks his heart, he actually tells you that he won't be taking the girls for any more. Which is ridiculous because they can't not get their vaccines.
Your mom tells him how bad it was for Price. How he came home pale faced with you asleep in your carrier and told her he'd rather get another rabies shot, or the smallpox vaccine, than take you for another round of shots. Men who have seen the worst of combat and can't handle their poor child's tears. Big softies.
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willowser · 1 year
Text
the day of the opening, you text izuku thirteen times.
most of which are met exactly how you'd hoped, in a way that should settle the nerves steadily brewing in your gut:
izuku: i will be there @ 7pm sharp!! ( =^ω^)
izuku: did you finish your speech yet?? we can go over it in the car otw!!
izuku: i'm going to grab flowers??? (///∇///) idk if that's okay?? but it's a big night!!! i think you deserve them!!!!
you should be relieved at his excitement, appeased enough to know that he has plans, that he's looking forward to this, too. genuine promise threads his words—and yet you only feel the pinpricks of doubt.
when he doesn't show, you try not to take it to heart. it's not his fault, you tell yourself, angry that you're angry. the life of a pro-hero is a whirlwind, and after knowing izuku for so long, one would think you'd become accustomed to the sound of his voice-mail and the rain check any and all events are given.
maybe it hurts so much worse this time because he didn't show up and he didn't call. didn't answer, either.
maybe it hurts because you're standing in front of the vision of all might in acrylics, your painting style soaking through the canvas; alive in his creases and curves. despite the fact that this is your first time in a gallery opening, ever, you think you were more looking forward to izuku's enthusiasm, than having your face in the local paper.
your smile feels tight across your mouth, as thick and forced as all might's. you hope it doesn't show through either of you on camera.
what would you say your biggest motivator is?
you take a long pause before answering, reminding yourself to rid your speech of any unplanned uh's and um's, and when what you've recited slips off your tongue, you can hear the words crashing into the hardwood below. shattering.
"the truth is that i wouldn't be here without the support of my best friend—"
(in the movies, this is when izuku would come bursting through the gallery doors, sweaty and disheveled in a suit jacket too large for his shoulders despite how broad they've become. people would be awed by the sight of him, glittering in the remnants of his emerald lightning, and he would turn to find you across the floor and he'd smile sheepishly, apologetically, and say—)
"the parking y've got here is shit."
but it's not izuku. it's bakugou.
it's impossible to have grown up with one and not the other, but—where izuku was quirkless—you were a girl, and that made you even more detestable. you weren't invited to any of his sleepovers or birthday parties at the arcade, and his nose always wrinkled at the sight of you and your pink butterfly clips, the dresses your mother loved to doll you up in.
even now, you see him and a strike of fear jolts your heart, instinctive, after watching the beat-down your best friend endured for so long. the only thing that softens him in this moment, for the first time, is the black, mock turtleneck he's wearing, and the bouquet of pale red carnations in his hand.
immediately, the interested party in front of your exhibition is stolen by him, dynamight, though his face twists hideously as they make to crowd him. you know that look, all too well, and you steel yourself for the bite of his words as he snaps at them.
"alright, alright, get the fuck outta my face before i blast all this frilly art shit to hell."
your anger spikes, fed by his own, though you can feel yourself shrinking behind the red-hot look he gives you, snuffed out as quickly as you'd caught ablaze. why, you wonder, why of all people would it have to be him? if this is izuku's way of apologizing, you'd rather have struggled through the event alone.
he stomps when he walks, like an overgrown child, and when he comes to stand in front of you and your small display, he doesn't even offer the flowers he's holding. instead he considers your work with a frown, eyes darting to and fro without so much as an inkling of enthusiasm. and then he takes in you, too—the soft cotton sweater you're wearing, the way you cup the sleeves with your fingers—with just as much disinterest.
and then he says, "thought you were s'pposed to have five pieces."
you were, but you and your nerves pushed your final painting to the last minute, and then you couldn't get any of the colors right, nor the movement. it was choppy and ugly and you hated it—and so you'd just gone without.
but you're not going to tell him that.
"what are you doing here?"
again, his face twists, as if he's sucking on a lemon. "doesn't exactly sound like a 'thank you', for showing up to your—whatever the hell it is."
"it's an art show, don't act dumb," you frown as he sucks his teeth and turn your stare to the flowers, how they're already wilting. petals drooping. your eyes sting as you look back up at him. "where's—"
"the hell do you think?"
it's not his fault, you tell yourself—but your anger has gone, blown out with the wind. the loneliness that always comes after letdowns like these joins you, faithful in its ache. you wrap your arms around yourself and step back further from him, forcing yourself to look away, at the other artists, so that maybe he won't see the gloss in your eyes.
it surprises you, what he says next: "...shitty nerd would be here if he could."
"i know," you say, defensive suddenly, like you always are with him when it comes to izuku. the bite in your tone deepens his frown and he, too, eyes the flowers. he holds them up wordlessly, handing them off to you with more care than you could have ever expected from him. "thank you for bringing these," you murmur.
bakugou shrugs, shoulders hiking up in a way that is as foreign to you as the light pink dust settling over his cheekbones. "don't know shit about flowers, so. whatever. congrats, i guess."
you frown again, brow crinkling. "but—izuku knows, doesn't he? he told you what to get, right?"
"what?" bakugou's nose twists, suddenly seven years old and offended by your proximity. "ain't talked to the fucker all night, just heard the call over the radio 'fore i left."
"wait, what?" you blink and take a step towards him, without thinking, and the action has him rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. cheeks darker, you think, in the low ambient light. "how—did you know to come then?"
and when he looks back at you, eyes molten and metallic, you think it's maybe not offense in his stare, but something else you've never seen on him. "nerd's been talkin' about it all week." he shrugs, and what he says next feels like an answer to more than just this question, here. "came on my own."
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i-cant-sing · 9 months
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What happens to Teen Fushiguro in the Shibuya Arc after Kenjaku & Mahito kidnap her?
Ah yes, I forgot about this one. Okay, so I imagine that they take you underground or wherever their lair is and like idk... cast spells on you to keep you from using your powers against them. You continue to threaten them, hurl insults at them and they find it amusing because 1. You're a child 2. You don't even know how easily they could kill you. 3. You're a child, why are you trying to fight the boss fights??💀
Anyways, you grow on them and they do end up becoming yanderes for you too. I mean, Kenjaku is like grandfather/guardian figure to you, and if like Getou is still alive/concious inside him, then he's like an uncle/godfather figure to you. They're bothe very protective, Getou more than Kenjaku, while Kenjaku is more like those veteran granddads who want you to become the best version of yourself and be independent, so they don't help you unless they absolutely do need to step in, but nevertheless love you. And once you do learn whatever skill/lesson he wanted you to, or actually become independent, he does not want you to use those new skills or become independent and stop relying on him for "protection" (even if u don't want it in the first place) or leave him/try to replace him. Nuh uh.
Same goes for Getou too, only he's far more gentle with you. Of course he wants you to be stronger and independent too, but he's far more likely too jump in to help you way before any true harm befalls you. He's softer in his lessons, always has that gentle smile on his face as he dodges whatever attack you launch on him. Encouraging words as he pats your head while you're on the ground trying to catch your breath.
As for Mahito, he's much more like an annoying older brother who bullies you for shits and giggles but God forbid if anyone else hurts you. I mean he'd still make fun of you for getting hurt, but rest assured whoever harmed you is now obliterated.
Your time with them is spent with Kenjaku provoking you and finding whatever it is that makes you tick and then having you spar with curses or with Mahito (who takes great joy in being a jerk). And sure, compared to all of their other victims, you're in "paradise," but in reality, your mental is taking a plunge very fast. Because Kenjaku and Mahito have realised your trigger point-
Abandonment issues.
So they use that against you. Everyday, they tell you that your father left you, that Megumi never fought hard enough for you because he didn't like you, that Gojo knew Megumi had a sister but he didn't take you in with him, and that the Zenin clan did consider you a nuisance which is why they let Gojo take you to Jujutsu High, just so that Gojo can use you as a weapon.
And sure, you'd argue that none of it is true but when a lie is told enough times, it starts to feel like the truth. So with the constant feed of negative words and being cut off from the outside world, reader couldn't help but believe all those lies, and that's how her self esteem and mental health took a turn for worse. She becomes more isolated, more quiet, more... dead. She lacks the energy to fight off those curses, not even fazed as they come a little too close to actually killing you (obv Kenjaku or Mahito step in before they can). And this is the point where they think that now that they have broken you down, they can start building you up again... and have you join their side of the battle. Of course, you're still against that, just not putting any actual effort into reacting to them, but then... they bring Megumi.
Or well, Sukuna occupying Megumi's body.
You instantly recognised them both- recognised the shift in the energy, recognised the monster who was disguised as your brother and you broke down. Fell to your knees, sobbed hard enough for your body to shake until Sukuna gathered you in his arms and moved to a private space, away from prying eyes.
You cried and cried, and Sukuna didn't need you to actually say anything for him to understand. You were mourning for your brother, who you knew has a target on his back now that he was Sukuna's vessel, who wouldnt be leaving him so easily. He just patted your back and assured you that everything will be alright if you just listen to him, made you remember how he promised that he'd always be there for you, made you promise to stick by his side and nothing bad will ever happen to you.
"Sukuna?" Your teary voice croaked, the curse king hummed in response. "Promise you won't hurt Megumi? Won't let anyone else hurt Megumi?"
Despite everything, you still cared for your brother. You didn't really need him, but the way you begged... Sukuna didn't have the heart to say no.
"Okay. Only if you listen to me." You nodded, sniffling as you rested your head against his shoulder.
From there on, I think that Kenjaku will continue to help you weild your powers to become the perfect vessel for Sukuna (who has actually no intention of using you as a vessel, no he just wants you by his side for eternity, all for him to spoil and pamper). You follow Sukuna's rules, stay indoors and only come out when he let's you accompany him, sometimes he'd let you enter his domain expansion so that you could meet Megumi, who tries to convince you run for your life and don't worry about him.
Now, I like to think that a point comes when Gojo is finally free from the prison realm and is now ready to beat everyone's asses, and that's when Sukuna mentions how he has been having a good time with you, which only provokes Gojo to fucking murder him and even Megumi, before he finally decides to just beat his ass and look for you (probably when you stop Gojo from killing Megumi) and that's how Gojo ends up snatching you away as you scream for Sukuna to not kill Megumi, beg Gojo to let you go because Sukuna would kill Megumi if you're not there. And all of this sounds like Stockholm syndrome to Gojo and the gang, who again, keep you under lock and key.
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HIIIW HOW ARE YOU? i’ve got a another request for you (i did ask a question a few weeks ago but i’m not sure if you saw it, it’s fine though)
imagine the yan! beasts and the yan! ancients (separately) with a reader that’s very stoic and calm, that has a reputation as a warrior or chief or something like that (something that has to do with fighting or getting or hands dirty.. or numbs? idk cookies don’t necessarily have hands) to hold so they have no room to be soft for anyone, but if you get them a little tipsy, they become more open? y’know how people get cuteness aggression from pets, yeah that’s reader, they become a totally different person when in private.. or tipsy, of course they still have control over themselves but still have like.. major cuteness aggression, but once a day passes, they act like it didn’t even happen
I don't think I ever got that? If you want to resend it, you can!
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Eternal Sugar Cookie would more than likely get you purposely tipsy more often to see this side of you, which she believes is reserved only for her. She'll always play it off the next day, acting like she doesn't know what you mean about her always carrying some alcohol.
Mystic Flour Cookie finds it endearing how you open up during events like this, but she never forces you to drink. No, she'll just.. gently persuade you. After all, it's only you two. There's no harm in it!
Burning Spice Cookie, surprisingly, wouldn't take advantage of it. While he'd love to see you more open and closer with him, despite his twisted obsession, he wants that to happen naturally. So getting drinks with him is far and few between, but whenever you two do, manipulation is often involved.
Silent Salt Cookie is similar to Burning Spice Cookie, but he won't hesitate to offer up to glass to you if he feels like you're hiding something from him. Getting you to be more open is a tough thing, so he'll savor the moments where you'll be too tipsy to remember what you tell him.
Shadow Milk Cookie can't help but be a little.. conflicted. While on one hand, you drinking and getting tipsy and being open is great for him, he can get to know more about you! But on the other hand, he wonders about if you'll find out. What will you do? He really doesn't want to have to control you with his strings, but if he has to..
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Hollyberry Cookie is probably the reason why you were drinking in the first place. Maybe a game she challenged you to, or just a night out between you, too. Regardless, she's fully aware of what you're like during this, and she takes it to her advantage. She'll learn everything she can about you in that time frame. Say, how about another outing sometime soon?
Dark Cacao Cookie probably doesn't drink that often, meaning you don't either. But when you do, he insists to anyone else that he'll be the one to take care of you. Guiding you to a private room, he'll gently pry information from you. How you feel about him, about others.. all to help his plans of making you love him.
Golden Cheese Cookie probably encourages you to drink. Every time you've gotten tipsy or worse, she's always been there and always there to help you calm down.. while asking questions to you that seem obvious, but to her she needs answered. After all, she can't have you panicking if she keeps you in the kingdom indefinitely..
White Lily Cookie rarely, if ever, drinks, so to see you get tipsy around her is a surprise. And the thing is, she might have not even been around when you first started drinking. She merely stumbled upon you and, well, decided to take advantage of the situation at hand. Just asking some questions, that's all. She just needs to know how you feel about her..
Pure Vanilla Cookie would try his damn hardest not to ask you anything while tipsy, but his obsession would win out. He'd start with small questions before they slowly ramp up in intensity and desperation. Cookies always say that you speak your true thoughts when you're intoxicated, so surely you mean everything you're saying. (He's so delusional.)
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running-with-kn1ves · 10 months
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What do you think about a yandere male that only turns yandere during the full moon?
Doesn't necessarily have to turn into a werewolf, but every full moon, it brings out the possesiveness and psychotic urges.
Like, I imagine that he's the sweetest and fluffiest and softest bf ever. A gentle giant. Couldn't harm a fly. Then as the full moon gets closer, they start to slowly change. Maybe, they start being more aggressive around others? Idk go crazy 🤣
(Maybe add some pervertedness/nsfw if ur up to it? no pressure ofc)
I really like the idea of yanderes being almost like a different breed of creature, gradually getting worse as each full moon draws near, going practically mental once it finally occurs and nearly mauling their darling.
It's worse if he's a so-called gentle giant-- that gentleness is ripped away, only to leave an empty husk of a man that has the power to crush you. He's normally the sweetest thing, kind to all those that you pass, and acts completely enamored with you-- he's so soft, you almost think that if he weren't his current intimidating size, he would be bullied for his passiveness.
He's not very verbal in expressing clinginess or needs during his stages of normal self, and may hesitate to bring up something he's upset with, whether it be seeing you with someone he finds threatening or if you reject his advances of physical comfort. He's able to tolerate such things in everyday life.
but once the moon's nearly at its routinely wholeness, there's a change in his behavior; he's become... temperamental, irked with every move you make that he doesn't like. Whether you forget to kiss him goodbye in the morning, or you tell him that you're going out for drinks after work with some overly friendly coworkers, he's become agitated and upset, getting jealous that you'd choose them over him.
Once the full moon finally reaches its completeness, getting out of the house will be a struggle within itself. He's not letting you go anywhere-- the emotional manipulation is drawn up to the max, and he can't help but use fake tears or past injustices to keep you with him. He can't help but ramble on how much he loves you-- how its because he loves you so much; he can't take it.
All he wants is for you to kiss him and make it better, to let him keep you suffocatingly close, to pay attention only to him. And if anyone dares get in his way, then he'll make them pay hell.
NSFW under the cut
For our yan boyf its not if, but when he pounces on you. He's so easily prone to getting too handsy with you in public, no matter the company kept near. You've made the mistake of bringing him to a party, and had to make some lame excuse to bring him home early, your boyfriend undoing your pants buttons moments in from the front door.
The deep bitemarks on your shoulders were painful, but there was a certain lull to the way he loved you when he was like this. He always gripped you so tightly, like he was afraid you'd slip away if he didn't keep you close enough. Whether it was an arm wrapped around your waist as he pounded inside you from behind, or two hands gripping your thighs as he kept you bouncing atop of him, he was always leaving bruises, most of which were unintentional.
You're truly lucky his sex drive isn't utterly relentless, though its definitely far higher than you ever expected. Usually, it was averagely persistent, never so much that you felt used. But during these episodes lately, he was consistent-- and insatiable, it seemed. You refused to go out on a date with him during these times, knowing he'd always need to find a place to fuck you midway, too entranced by your sex appeal, and too ticked off by those who decided to stare at you.
But the deeper he gets in taking a hold of you, the more regretful he becomes. He mutters "I'm sorry's" over and over, though keeping his relentless thrusts in play. He has little patience for foreplay, and understands how rough he can be when these episodes occur; he doesn't always remember how much strength he has, leaving him to mumble sorrowful apologies the rough morning after.
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