#idk what kind of image i project on the internet
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Hello friends from my pocket you don't know how much joy you bring me everyday and I'm so fucking grateful I got to know you thank youfor being you 💚💚💚
#bison talks#idk what kind of image i project on the internet#but i'm really an oddball#and i've been very very very alone most of my life#i love yall so much
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I can tell how much effort you put into your Narrator design he looks so cool (completely positive) (like goddamn how do you NOT mess up that goodly) (the man ever)
WAHH thank you so much!!!
A lot did go into him. Allow me to ramble for a moment about my inspirations for him:
1) Peter Jones
According to an interview with Kevan Brighting by Cressup on YouTube, he said he got inspiration for the Narrator's voice from Peter Jones in the original radio play of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. So I already had a good idea of where to go with my Narrator, specifically the vibe of a late 60s -70s radio host. Mixed with 80s work clothes as well.
2) Various 60s-80s work clothes.
I just looked stuff up on Pinterest but these first two pics of Gregory Peck and Clint Eastwood REALLY gave me a lot of the vibes I wanted to go for. (Also Harrison Ford in the 2010s but Tumblr has a 10 image limit 😭😭). I also thought Saul Goodman/Jimmy McGill fit the vibe as well. Moreso in looks than personality but Idk. Maybe that as well.
3) Stylization from other cartoons
And then to kind of stylize the look I wanted to go for, I looked at different characters and cartoons. Specifically, Ford Pines from Gravity Falls (especially him bc I thought it was funny that he had a brother named Stanley so I mean duh. Plus Alex Hirsch IS in Ultra Deluxe which is hilarious), a lot of concept art from Batman the animated series, and especially the Iron Giant. I'm actually planning to make a short animation with the Narrator and a scene from the Iron Giant for a class project! (Actually tbh, I definitely wanted to capture babygirl vibes that everyone's been talking about on Twitter and I know Saul Goodman and Kent Mansley definitely had those vibes XDD.)
4) Other internet artists
I don't want to repost their art without permission so I'll just mention names:
Forte-Girl7's/Forte7's Wheatley gijinka was actually the first gijinka I've ever seen for like anything and considering that the Narrator (especially in Ultra Deluxe) gave me more Wheatley vibes, I wanted to kind of pay tribute to her.
Also you've ever seen Bechnokid's Yokai Watch/Whisper art, that was also a big inspiration dhsjjsjs.
And of course there are the GOATs like MissAzura and CYM-K whose takes on the Narrator I've adored and actually got me into this fandom in the first place. Sooooo yeah!
There's also my own OC whom the Narrator reminded me incessantly of and he also played a part of my own Narrator design. And of course a biiiit of Kevan Brighting himself mixed with my pure imagination coming up with a simultaneously vague and particular image of what the narrator looked like in my head.
And of course, there were other things in game that informed the Narrator's character that I wanted to translated into his character design (i.e squarish shape language bc of his perfectionism and obsession with structure but also cuz of the exposed developer textures and of course the color scheme being close to the office colors in the game).
But yeah! There's more I could talk about in terms of the Narrator as a character but I'm saving that for later hehehheheh
#envy answers#envy blurbs#the stanley parable#tsp narrator#beyond the yellow brick road au#FUCK I forgot a bit of Miles Edgeworth#maybe even Gregory Edgeworth?
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i don’t vibe with jk lately mostly because i find him a bit cringe with this ´tough guy’ image he’s trying to portray but i find you so harsh
he’s still very young and didn’t really had the opportunity to go through his teenage years like any normal guy so he’s trying to find himself rn. I also have a feeling he desperately wants to try to fit in because he’s very self conscious about his ´quirkiness’, lots of Armys have been making fun of him even though that was light hearted jokes it has probably hurt him. it’s pretty obvious he’s still comparing himself to other members especially Namjoon. to me he’s overcompensating. I mean, usually the ones that keep repeating they’re confident, they finally found themselves or ‘being their true self’ and that kind of new age constant rhetoric aren’t actually that confident deep down. He’s not a bad guy, just lacks maturity
honestly i think the army will make him mature a lot in a good way, i’m curious to see how things go afterwards
I'm not harsh no not at all. You should see my old posts about him. Back then I was harsh because I had pent up anger against him. But yes you're right he lacks maturity.
Jk didn't want to be seen as a boy by the members he's always wanted to be seen as a man a tough man. Which is why he most probably got tattoos and started working out because that is how a typical strong man looks like. Maybe if I had seen something like this idk a year ago maybe I would have agreed with you but no anon.
I agree with you but to a certain point. You can't try to tell me that a 26 year old male is trying to fit in, to fit in where. Jk just looks like he doesn't have his life in order, he looks likes he's just doing whatever and going where the wind blows. He said he's always wanted to be a famous singer and he chose to audition at the age of what 13? 14?. He knew that he would miss out on his teenage years he was not forced to be an idol he chose to be an idol so blaming his job for his behaviour is not a reason valid enough for his behaviour.
And maybe yes he is comparing himself to some members of which he shouldn't. Idk what to say about him I've said a lot and nothing at the same time. He just baffles me because that's not how a 26 year old should behave. He should seek help or something because now he's spiralling out of control, he's going to self destruct. One of his stunts he keeps on pulling because he wants to be perceived as a certain person will make or destroy his career. He should release music that is good, something the public will actually like and not being forced to like.
He should just be himself he'll create a personality he won't be able to keep up with. And JK's chronically online he like projecting other people's opinions about him on him. I bet now if he could see something like him being with a model would break the internet he would actually do it. Idk idk
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I know I shouldn’t worry about next year, but I am. In 2023, all of Tom’s peers have back to back huge movies coming out. Florence has Oppenheimer and Dune. Zendaya has Challengers and Dune. Austin has Dune and more than likely an Oscar nomination lined up, and Timothee has Dune and Wonka.
With all four of them in one film as well… you already know people can’t keep his name out their mouths, and no matter what people claim constant negativity online that perseveres can start to affect your image on the outside.
Meanwhile, if The Crowded Room is released this year he will have to only hope for an Emmy nomination later on in the year to keep his name afloat through all that noise. I really hope The Crowded Room is released in early February with weekly episodes.
WHAT on earth is in the water this week?? 🥴 Chiiiile….I swear… 🙄
Zendaya winning another Emmy last week really has some ppl feeling some kind of way I see. 😏 👀
FIRST of all, none of the aforementioned actors you listed (i.e. Zendaya, Timmy, Austin, Florence, etc.) are competing with Tom. Not in the least. They are all just minding their own business and stay busy working, plain and simple.
Second, no media outlets care about fan “worries” or even stan wars like this. Silly stuff like this is not going to “ruin your reputation” or rob you of an Oscar nomination. So, there's no "noise" that needs to be "drowned out". 😒
Now a huge public SCANDAL might ruin your chances, but silly fan drama on twitter or internet blogs?? Pleeeaaaase….🙄 Tom already has a great reputation in the industry, and silly fans flapping their gums or punching their keystrokes to post negative stuff on Twitter isn't going to change that.
Tom is doing JUST FINE. Idk why some of you fans have made it your full-time job to worry about Tom’s career 24/7?? 🤷🏾♀️ It’s really weird.🥴 I literally don’t know of any other fandom that worries 24/7 about the career of their fave like this lol. Plus, have you all just forgotten about the Fred Astaire biopic film? Why do you all keep forgetting this movie?? 🤔 Tom has a big huge project (the biopic) coming up in the eventual future after he finishes TCR. One that might even get him an Oscar nomination. Plus, he might even get an Emmy nod for TCR.
I just don’t see where all of this constant worry from his so-called “fans” is coming from honestly. Literally NOBODY you mentioned above is competing or even trying to compete with Tom. Look, I’m happy for any actors/actresses who are doing great things in this business! 😃 It’s not an easy industry to be in. You hear “no” a LOT. It can even take a toll on your mental health and self-esteem after a while. But no offense, but what others are doing have no bearing on Tom or his future career. So PLEASE…Stop trying to compare him (or his career) to others.
There’s a saying that when you compare yourself to others (or pit people against each other in this case), you only set yourself up for disappointment.
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Hi Dr. Grey!!! How are you??
I think you’ve answered most but i havent seen 1 and 23 yet (if you did i’m sorry!!) but also… what’s a question that you haven’t answered yet and would like to answer? Do that one!!
hello friend <3
1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?
i started reading like....late teens? i was late to the game (and also didn't grow up in a place that had internet and didn't get access until I was in HS and school started switching over to having more online projects etc...) and then never stopped. Writing I only just started over a year ago! April 2021, I had the crazy idea to join AO3 and now here we are.
23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?
lol, so simple, so boring but--strangers to lovers. i love writing flirting. i love writing beginning flirting so much. though I will say that friends to lovers (in both NMTW and postcards) was very fun as well. its a fine fine line between a friend fuck and...not. ya know?
annnnndd dealers choice for the last one??? lucky me!
34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?
so i chose this one because i do get (unanswered) asks about this following full fics (especially after ten reasons and fault lines and a litttttttle bit after NMTW). and the answer is not a lot. i do use my brain vault for random little things, and very random tiny headcanons (ex: sirius using the walls to write on; ceramic knowledge in ten reasons; wedding knowledge for postcards etc etc) but much of my life or personal experiences is not embedded into the fics specifically except for a big overaching theme in a lot of my works which is grief/loss. i've talked about that on here a few times but grief is a big part of my daily life and its the one thing i can't escape, in all its facets. so i write love stories. but ya know, they're also grief stories.
and... uh idk what my readers image of me is? hopefully someone kind and gorgeous and competent and wise beyond their years <3
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okay yes this!! i sent the og one but im coming off anon because you are so correct and i agree wholeheartedly, don’t worry all of what you said make perfect sense
like i wrote the perv steve inspired by your blurbs and ive genuinely had a couple random anons say that it wasn’t perv steve cos he was genuinely creeping on the reader like?? i agree that it’s dangerous, and it does make me as a writer feel pressured to write more extreme shit for validation and to follow what everyone else is doing and it really is goddamn dangerous! i especially think it’s dangerous because these are characters people look up to and they’re being written in such extreme ways and everyone is just fine with it? i feel kind of bad saying it cos yeah write what you want to write if it’s got proper warnings on it etc but idk it’s uncomfortable and it feels like there’s something deeper going on with it, even over the last month stranger things fanfic specifically has gotten so much more extreme with kink stuff to the point that as a writer i feel like i have to do that to be ‘correct’ but like i don’t want to do that!!
and no you are so corrected with the fact that is it rooted in misogyny because so many people write like ditsy fem readers and again like write what you want but it’s ALWAYS that, it’s always that and a some dom man version of steve or eddie that first of all is nothing like the canon them and that always takes advantage of the less than intelligent reader and it’s frustrating and concerning!! because again it sets that standard as you said, i was exposed to similar things on the early internet and it genuinely does make you feel shame in vanilla sex and make you feel like it’s the norm to want extreme kink and it’s like no!! this in its own way feels like it’s just the next generation of desensitising a generation to extreme kink and instilling shame in healthy dynamics and vanilla sex because you’re made to feel like you have to want something more than that because everyone else seems to want more than that
apologies to rant and sorry again if none of this makes any coherent sense it’s just all straight from my brain but yeah, im just glad someone else is on the same page because i really do feel boxed in about it all, there’s no need to respond to this if you don’t want to and i apologise if i made you uncomfortable in any way at all
Omg no you didn’t make me uncomfortable at all!! I 1000% agree with everything you’ve written!!
Honestly I think people cling to the image and visibility of what character is popular at the time so they can project their fucked up abusive mafia boss OC or whatever onto the person who’s most attractive to the most people. And I feel like such a bitch saying it but like if these people genuinely watch the show and like these characters, I don’t think they could reasonably write them doing these sort of things?? It’s completely OOC and they don’t even acknowledge that
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4, 8, 6, 9
Did you really want to know the answers to these or--
4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw
My OC, Edward. I can never seem to draw him the same way twice.
Furthermore, since I'm primarily a fanartist, my usual modus operandi is to mostly emulate the style of the source material. There's no style to emulate with something that is entirely my own, so drawing him-- and any other of my fandomless OCs-- always (and automatically) makes the road to a finished piece a lot longer than any fanwork.
8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in
I don't really lose interest in projects? Motivation, yes, but I have some reaalllyy old projects still sitting in my WIP folder because I always think that one day... one day I will return to them t.t
I guess if I had to pick anything, it would be these Zoids-themed coasters I started back in 2020. I don't have any pictures, sadly. They're themed after an Alesaurer shirt I had made the same year and I intended to make 25 or so to accompany some custom-etched pint glasses to sell as a drinking bundle.
Well, I had already printed the coasters (the cheap cardboard kind you can customize and buy for weddings), ordered/applied a sticker to the back to make it "double-sided," waterproofed the entire coaster with Mod Podge sealer, and had moved on to the final stage of sealing the tops with resin, when... idk, I got discouraged or something. If you know anything about resin pouring maybe you'll know trying to control teeny-tiny pours on an inadequate surface is foolish. I had very little room for error and I could never get the pours to be even (which is... kind of important on a coaster) and just gave up after only a handful.
Maybe it wasn't a complete waste though. Incidentally, I use the very first "test" coaster regularly for any drinks I sip on while working at the computer:
6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)
Kinda ties in with my answer for #4! Emulating styles on the regular is a two-way street and I am inevitably influenced by the things I imitate.
The most prominent silent influences for the visual aspect of my art I can think of are all from my childhood (and by that, I mean anything pre-uni). Yu-Gi-Oh, Zoids, Detco, etc. I know Invader Zim influenced the way I handle lineart.
Music is constantly influencing me, too, but that's significantly more difficult to read from the viewer's perspective. My taste in music tends to be aggressive (not all of it, but most of it), on the wavelength of "if you pass the AUX cord to me I will give it right back," and I don't really doubt that the sound and lyrical content feeds into the thematic flavors I try to portray in any of my work.
9. What are your file name conventions
MASTER.psd/.pdf -> working doc
final.png -> finished image
final-tr.png -> finished image w/transparency (if applicable)
final-tr1000 -> finished image w/transparency (if applicable), 1000px across*
final-tr1000-bw -> finished image w/transparency (if applicable), 1000px across, in grayscale
final-tr1000-bw-watermark -> finished image w/transparency (if applicable), 1000px across, in grayscale, with watermarking
etc.
*This was necessary for my garbage internet to cope. It could barely handle uploading anything at 1000px, let alone anything bigger
---
Ask me weirdly specific artist questions!
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The Ways In Which We Love Each Other
9/1/22
I have no idea what I’m doing. But I think I can make something of this. It’s been 2 months since grandpa passed. I have a lot of things I’m processing, and it’s all jumbled, but it’s there. I just need to clear away the excess stuff- not less important, just not strongly tied together. I have a lot of writing to do.
9/6/22 Week 0
Lots of jumbled thoughts still. My writing just feels like rambling, but it’s like I know there’s a thread in there that I can pull and it will untangle all of it. I can’t really gauge how my presentation of my project proposal went- Everyone was so quiet. did I make a mistake in picking this? I just kept talking because I didn’t know what else to do. Does everyone think I’m weird for doing (yet another) project on death? I hope I didn’t. I hope this was a good choice.
9/14/22 Week 1
Got my project schedule laid out. Notes and quotes all organized. Blog set up. More nonsense ramblings. Part of this is identity, and how a person’s impressions of someone else’s identity may be just a snapshot of who they are, and how like... that transfers to the info someone may put online, and how that’s a fragment of who they are, and how long will that memory last. idk. That will double as my glass self portrait project too.
9/21/22 Week 2
I remembered the book Ghostland by Colin Dickey, it talks about hauntings and story and how that connects to the times these stories originated from and how it all connects. I’ll have to dig that out and reread it. Add it to my research materials.
Writing version 1: done
it sucks and I hate it. That’s all. Onto #2.
9/28/22 Week 3
Definitely behind schedule. V2: Done.
Next week? idk
I’m overwhelmed. Tired. Working through it. Still a bunch of jumbled thoughts. Slowly getting clearer I think.
10/7/22 Week 4
Glass self portrait due in a week. I’m sandblasting sheets of glass with an image of my face layered so it’ll look kind of ghostly? Gonna call it “here then gone again”
A snapshot of what someone else sees in me, and its impermanence or permanence in someone’s mind. I’m a ghost flickering through their lives.
10/12/22 Week 5
Had no idea what to show for my studio practice midterm presentation yesterday but I definitely almost cried. Glass critique went so well I almost cried in a good way though. I was smiling when I left Sherman.
I haven’t even started filming yet and I have like... 4 weeks left now? It’s... slowly getting there.
10/19/22 Week 6
Way behind- adjusted schedule to “fly by seat of pants.” Will adjust as necessary. I had this visual out of nowhere of a graveyard full of identical numbered tombstones, but as the camera zooms out it shows each tombstone is actually a USB stick plugged into a hub. Each one is a bit of information a person left on the internet, anonymous, left behind as they move on.
(Danvers State Hospital info)
Need to model some tombstones.
10/23/22 Week 7
I think I finished the written portion. Think anyway. I went out and filmed and shot at the Grove City and Greenlawn Cemeteries. It was nice to spend an afternoon with the dead. Peaceful. I also had to take a moment to consider that their participation in my project, but their lack of consent. These were all people once. Their stories aren’t mine to use. I don’t want to commodify their deaths, nor their family’s grief. I need to consider how I’ll respect their privacy, and their family’s too without disrespecting them.
10/31/22 Week 8
Happy Halloween + Blessed Samhain!
Final edits being made to the written/spoken portion. Going to record on wednesday and finish editing the video by next Monday.
Tombstones are finished. They’re cute. I accidentally printed them @ 6.8mm instead of 68mm. I have 49 comically tiny tombstone USBs that I have no clue what to do with. Maybe I can have a little dish of them beside my work and offer them to people as take-aways?
Gonna build the tiny cemetery hub tonight!
11/6/22 Week 9
I’m done.
And I’m
proud and
tired.
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Hi Hazel! Same question as previous but with FE drivers if that’s ok?
oh sure. this one is easier because I speak to them all the frickin time. or, I guess. I used to. ow.
so basically all the FE drivers are really nice. I can't really think of any of them that have been anything but nice to me apart from Sam Bird has a slightly aggro tendency that you can't read anything into. (he gets super stressed sometimes and will be snappy but there's nothing like, personal or bad about it. it's just like if a cat gets stressed and has a screechy moment. (he also for whatever reason just does not like being interviewed by me so I try to avoid it unless absolutely necessary)
JEV can be a pain in the arse to journalists (apparently) but he is absolutely an adorable kitten with me and has never been anything but extremely sincere and willing to discuss anything. he made me cry on the Saturday in Berlin because as we were leaving the media centre to go to media pen he hugged me and said he had to win the race for me tomorrow, if it was my last - he didn't but that's irrelevant. idk if drivers are attached to journalists like that in other series. tbf idk if they are attached to other FE journalists like that. oh no now I've upset myself, my stupid blorbos I miss them.
if you get Sam in a non-aggro mood he's also very sweet and patient (I totally understand the aggro-ness, definitely don't want to make him sound unpleasant because Sam Bird is A Genuinely Very Good Man) and has given me some really heartfelt answers over the years.
Lucas has never been anything other than hilarious and friendly and very kind to me. he's awesome to talk to and contrary to what his internet persona might project, really good at listening and understanding things that are new to him. asks a lot of questions.
Pascal once gave me a tour of his house on Zoom because he was, idk, just a bit bored in lockdown. Mitch is just an endless joy to interview because he gives incredibly long answers and is like, fervently sincere about them. Nick Cassidy gets super anxious about giving good enough answers - I did a podcast with him that I need to edit and put up and he was so nervous he wasn't doing well enough but so friendly and sweet, he's really lovely.
Edo is the genuinely most sincere man alive. Alex Sims is so nice, the absolute nicest man. all men should either be Alex Sims or Jake Dennis, ideally, who is also incredibly lovely.
idk, I could list all of them really? Seb Buemi is genuinely lovely, not at all the image you'd get from the infamous clip. the Olivers (collective) are all very down to earth, generous people. Antonio Giovinazzi gets in that goddamn travesty of a car every weekend and does it with a smile and with nothing but generosity towards his team and the fans. I mean, I literally could pretty much list all of them tbh. even Lotterer, who I had a bit of a conflagration with in season 4 and took quite a dislike to, has mellowed and is honestly lovely.
there is one of the drivers I have never seen anything but total mardiness from even when I told him he'd scored a point but I don't see any point in calling him out for it as he clearly has either no intention of or no ability to change and already has a reputation for it.
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Acquaintances
Pairing: Wanda x Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluff
Description: Wanda meets someone who doesn’t treat her like a villain, but she doesn’t know who you really are.
Notes: I promise it’s fluff and not a trap. Also sorry about my hiatus, I’m just super unmotivated to do anything. So here’s my feeble offering to try and get back into writing.
- - -
Wanda groaned at the sight of a man with a camera. All she wanted was to pop down to the shops, buy some paprika, but alas, even a shopping trip was gold for the paparazzi. Maybe if she hid behind an aisle he would leave. But she heard the door open behind her. Ducking quickly behind a stack of tuna cans, she scanned the rows for the precious package.
She knew she wasn’t the favourite of the public, and the guilt of what she’d done ate her alive every night, but she was sick of being blamed. All she did was try her best, but this was the kind of thanks she got.
She frowned a little when she saw the man round the corner. She steeled herself, not wanting the tears to spring to her eyes. Turning around to face him, she- There was a person talking to him. You had a shopping bag in your hand, so you must have been another customer. Dressed smartly with a blazer, but paired with jeans and sneakers, you looked friendly, but the cold look you gave the man said otherwise. You exchanged words quietly with the reporter, and he seemed to refuse you, turning back to look at her. Realising that this was the perfect stall to get out of the store, she resumed her search. Cumin, Ginger, Paprika! Quickly glancing back to see how long she had, she saw you hand the man a business card as he hurriedly shuffled away.
“Sorry about that,” you turned to her, looking genuinely apologetic.
“Why?” she asked, it coming out harsher than she meant for it to. “It wasn’t even your fault.”
You shrugged. “You don’t deserve it.”
Wanda frowned again at this. She didn’t even know you, but you helped her out, so the least she could do was be polite. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” you smiled. The two of you started to walk towards to counter. More like she did and you kind of happened to as well. “What are you cooking with the paprika?”
Sliding the bag to the cashier, she turned to face you properly. “I was making a traditional Sokovian dish.”
“I’m a big fan of trying different cuisines,” you replied, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “That sounds delicious.”
Wanda’s not really sure why you’re trying to make conversation, but you didn’t seem to have an agenda, so she indulged you with a response as the two of you walked out of the store. “It is, my mum always had the best recipe.”
“Ah well, my parents weren’t around much, so I can’t say the same,” you laughed, throwing your shopping in the back of what must have been your car.
Wanda hadn’t even realised she had walked with you to your car. That was embarrassing. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I should be going now,” backing away as quickly as she could without making a fool of herself.
“Wait,” you called, “do you need a lift back?”
“You’re a stranger.”
“Well I know your name is Wanda,” you grinned cheekily, opening the passenger door. “And my name is Y/N. Guess we’re not strangers anymore. So, what do you say? It’s the least I could do, with that man bothering you.”
She’s not sure what compelled her to agree, but she found herself sitting in a plush leather seat as you adjusted the rear view mirror. Tapping the dashboard screen, you pulled up a map to Avengers Tower and backed out of the parking lot.
You didn’t seem to mind that she didn’t make conversation, bopping your head gently to whatever pop song was on the radio. Instead she spent the time trying to figure out who you were and why you were being so nice. “It’s rude to stare, you know?” you winked at her.
Wanda felt the heat rush to her cheeks. “Wha- No, sorry,” she mumbled. She’d done it again, made herself look dumb. You giggle, returning your eyes to the road. Trying not to stare at you this time, she observed the fancy watch adorning your wrist, and the sleek interior of the car. You must be a businesswoman of some sort, since this clearly wasn’t your average suburban car. But you were wearing jeans. Maybe a lower level employee than?
She sat there musing, until the door suddenly opened. “We’re here,” you smiled, gesturing at the grand tower that was now her home.
Why couldn’t she stop being so awkward? This was the third time. Unbuckling the seatbelt, she stumbled out, clutching the paprika to her chest. “Thanks again.”
“Anytime, Wanda.” And with a small wave, you hopped back into your car and drove off.
- - -
Heading straight to her room, Wanda abandoned her plans for paprikash. The whole interaction was quite frankly, baffling. No one was ever nice to her, except for the Avengers. But you clearly knew who she was, driving her back to the tower without an address. Tossing her jacket on her bed, she sighed. It’s not like she’d ever see you again. That’s when she noticed the card peeking out from the pocket. There was a phone number printed neatly on it, and a cursive scrawl underneath. “I am actually interested in the dish though. Could I have the name of it?”
She hadn’t exactly interacted with anyone else, so it must’ve been you. Running her thumb over the ink, she was hit with a renewed sense of energy. Grabbing the paprika, she dashed back down the stairs.
- - -
You’re spinning around in your office chair when your phone goes off. Clicking on the message, a small smile makes its way into your face.
Unknown Number: this is the dish i was talking about
Unknown Number: *image*
Unknown Number: it’s paprikash
- - -
“Hey Wanda,” Tony called, a carefully wrapped package in his arms, “this came for you.”
One look at the scarlet wrapping paper, and she knew who it was from. “Thanks Tony,” she said, grabbing it and running to her room.
Setting the package gently on her bed, she untied the ribbon and unfolded the wrapping paper. Nestled in the middle, a box of cookies.
She grinned to herself. Wanda’s been texting you for a couple of months now, and now she could really say that you’re not strangers. She knows that you can’t cook, but you can bake. You’re a businesswoman “of sorts” you say, and that you’re a pretty busy person. But regardless, you hang out with her, chilling in the local coffee shop, going shopping, even just a stroll around the park. She also knows that this happiness she gets when she sees you is definitely not platonic.
Opening the lid, the chocolate aroma wafts into her room. Her favourite of your baked goods. There’s a note tucked into the side of the box, and she delicately pulls it out. “Be my girlfriend?” she read, the handwriting obviously yours. Wait. Be my girlfriend? She sat there dumbly for a couple of seconds before it hit her. You’re asking her to be your girlfriend. Wanda scrambled for her phone, snapping a picture to send to you.
Y/N: those cookies look delicious, who sent them?
The witch rolled eyes at your antics, but played along.
Wanda: idk, but i just got asked out
Y/N: whoaaaa, did you say yes?
Wanda: yes you dumbass
Y/N: okay, under other circumstances that would’ve hurt, but i’m too excited to care right now <3
Wanda: ...
Wanda: did you try to bribe me with cookies?
Y/N: it worked, didn’t it?
Wanda: i can’t believe i actually like you
Y/N: honestly, me too
Y/N: sorry it’s a busy day, but you wanna come over for dinner?
Wanda: sounds good <3
Y/N: i’ll come pick you up, see you then girlfriend
She didn’t want bugs in her room, so Wanda grabbed the box to put in her kitchen cupboard. Balancing a cookie in her mouth, she was about to close the lid, when a hand pinched one. Eyes immediately glowing red, she locked onto Sam as he backed away, half eaten cookie and hands up in surrender.
“Do that again and I will give you nightmares.”
The Falcon whistled lowly. “Okay. Protective over cookies. Got it.”
“There’s cookies?” Bucky asked, strolling in.
“No.”
“Oh okay.”
- - -
The heroes were sprawled on the couches playing a game of UNO when Wanda came down the stairs.
“What are you doing with that hoodie?” Tony asked sharply.
Wanda furrowed her eyebrows. “This.. hoodie?” she replied, tugging on the drawstrings of the soft item of company clothing she was wearing.
“Yes! That’s my enemy’s!”
She didn’t really want to get into whatever nonsense the genius was spouting again. “My friend lent it to me.”
“You have friends?” joked Sam.
Steve gave the man a warning look. “It’s good that you’re adjusting to life here.”
“I think the important question here,” Natasha said from her spot, “is where are you going?”
“Dinner,” she replied, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. She tried to fight the silly smile that crept into her face whenever she thought about you, but she mustn’t have hid it well enough, since the red headed spy gave her a sickeningly sweet smile.
I hate you, she projected.
Nat winked back.
“Based on the way Miss Maximoff keeps anxiously glancing at the door, there is likely to be someone waiting for her,” Vision piped up. “I have searched the Internet databases, and from what I have gathered, your casual outfit means that you are going with someone you are familiar with. The sharing of clothes is usually reserved for close friends or romantic partners only.”
Of course the android had to get involved.
“Your heart rate seems to be speeding up Miss Maximoff. Are you okay?”
“Wanda Maximoff,” Tony asked slowly, “do you have a boyfriend?”
That’s when all hell broke loose.
“Who is he?”
“Is he hot?”
“Where did you meet?”
“How did you even get a boyfriend?”
“Can we meet him?”
“What-“
“Okay,” she groaned. Well it was bound to happen eventually. She just wished she could’ve gotten even a few months without the teasing. “I have a girlfriend, yes she’s hot, yes I’m going to have dinner with her, and I’ll ask about meeting. I’m going to go now.” With that, she stepped into the elevator.
“Don’t think this conversation is over witchy,” called Tony, as the doors slid shut.
- - -
“Hey,” you smiled as she slid into the car. “What took you so long?”
“The Avengers found out.”
You chuckled at that. “What, did they interrogate you or something?”
“Something like that.” She paused. “They want to meet you.”
“Are you sure?”
“They’re my family, and they’ll love you as much as I do.”
“Cute,” you grinned, “but I don’t know about Tony.”
“Trust me, they’re a mess a lot of the time, but they’re good people.”
You checked through your phone. “I haven’t got anything on around lunch tomorrow. I can come by then, how does that sound?”
“So you’ll come?”
“Anything for my girlfriend.”
- - -
Her green eyes locked onto you amongst the bustle of suits in the lobby.
“Hey.”
You adjusted the grey fabric of your pantsuit. “Hey yourself.”
“Did you wear the suit to impress me?” Wanda asked, delicately tugging on your tie.
“Actually, I’ve got a meeting with the investors later. Gotta make an impression, you know?”
“Well consider me impressed,” she whispered against your ear.
Blushing, you allowed Wanda to lead you to the elevator.
- - -
Clint wasn’t sure what to expect with you. But if Wanda liked you, you were sure to be one of the good sorts. So maybe like a cute girl she met at the cafe or something. He sure as hell wasn’t expecting the confident girl dressed in a suit to step out of the elevator.
All of them were lined up in the common room and he’s pretty sure any normal person would have been intimidated by the sheer amount of Avengers in front of them, but you stepped up to them absolutely unfazed.
“Mr Rogers,” you offered your hand to shake, “a pleasure to meet you.”
Steve was expecting to have to take the lead with introductions, but here you seemed to be handling yourself fine. “Likewise.”
“Is Mr Stark here today?” you asked him.
“He’s a bit busy at the mo-“
Clattering and a string of curses interrupted him. And of course, the man himself stepped into the room, Iron Man debris in his wake.
“Tony,” Steve scolded.
“What? Did you think I’d miss meeting the girl who stole the heart of our cold antisocial emo?”
Wanda tossed a couch pillow at him, but he brushed it off.
“Tony Stark,” he declared.
You shook his hand politely. “I know who you are Mr Stark.”
“And you are...?”
“Y/N L/N.”
The genius might have been singed from his armour, but the moment that name fell from your lips, he yanked his hand away, as if he was burned.
“L/N. As in L/N Corporations?”
“That’s me.”
Abruptly he turned to Wanda. “Do you know who this is?” he hissed. “The greatest rival to Stark Industries. I thought you were introducing your girlfriend.”
You gave him a winning smile. “I am her girlfriend Mr Stark. And you may have made me your rival, but I can assure you that you are not mine.”
Sam snorted.
“What are you doing here then? Are you here to try and steal data? You can’t...”
You paid him no mind as you winked at Sam. Spotting the metal arm, your eyes widened. “You must be Bucky, right? Princess Shuri told me she’d been working on some vibranium projects. I’d love to take a closer look some other day if you don’t mind?”
“How do you know Shuri?” Stark spluttered.
“You think that she only talks to rich boys who need her help? Sorry to burst your bubble.”
Nat couldn’t help but smirk at this.
“Oh and I’ve actually been working on some prototype Widow Bites as a bit of a free time project,” you added. “If you’re interested, your opinion on usage would really help me to refine them.”
“Of course.”
“Traitor,” Tony glared.
It’s at this point your phone began to ring. Glancing down, you offered a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, I’ve really got to take this.” You turned to face the wall as your friendly tone turned professional.
The Avengers huddled together as your call went on.
“Is she using you for information?” Tony scowled.
Wanda scowled back. “She’s my girlfriend Stark. Not everything is about you.”
He looked as if he was going to say more, but Steve interrupted.
“Look Tony, she seemed like a perfectly lovely girl.”
“Yeah I like her,” added Sam. “She can keep your ego in check.”
“If Wanda likes her, I’m fine with it too.” Clint said.
Wanda gave him a thankful look.
A cough came awkwardly behind them.
“I really hate to cut this short everyone, but something’s come up back at the office. Investors are a pain.”
“Yeah go on back to your investors then,” spat Tony.
“Wow” you drawled, heading back to the elevator, “is the rich card the only thing you can play Stark?”
The light on the wall indicated that the cab had arrived, and you stepped inside the carriage which would take you back down, as Peter stepped out.
“Oh hey Y/N, what are you doing here?”
“I was just leaving Pete, but swing by later, alright?”
“You know it.”
“Oh and I heard you liked the hoodie I gave Wanda, Mr Stark,” you called. “I can grab you one as well, since it’s my company. But I really do gotta run now. Nice to meet you all!” The metal doors slid shut on your grinning face.
There was a silence, before Tony turned on his protégée. “How the hell are you on a first name business with her?”
“We’re friends?” Peter offered.
“Friends?”
“She went to college with me. She was super smart and we hung out and stuff. You know, what friends usually do.”
Squirming under his mentor’s gaze, he continued. “She was too smart for college though, so she dropped out and started her company. It didn’t mean we stopped being friends though.”
“Why didn’t you tell me Underoos?”
“She figured you might overreact, especially with the web sho-“ The boy’s eyes widened, and he made a mad dash for the stairs.
But Tony grabbed his wrist. “What were you saying?”
Peter sighed, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “She helped me out with my web shooters in college, and since then, she’s been developing them with me.”
“What?”
“She knows I’m Spider-Man and I work with her on my tech,” he said slowly.
The man surveyed his teammates, making deliberate eye contact with each and every one of them. “Traitors, the lot of you,” he huffed.
“I mean you gotta admit it,” laughed Sam. “She’s college age, and built an empire to rival you. Not to mention that she’s pretty, smart, has better PR and actual time management skills-“
“Okay I get it,” the genius cut him off.
“Don’t be upset,” Clint smirked, “you can’t lose if you’re not her competition.”
Tony stomped off.
“Don’t worry about him, he’ll come around,” Steve said gently, nodding at Wanda who was fiddling anxiously with her rings.
“She was cool,” added Nat. “Tony can be a pain in the ass, but he knows she’s a good person.”
Her phone buzzed in her hand.
<3: i’d say that went pretty well
Wanda: cannot believe you didn’t tell me
<3: i’m really sorry babe, please don’t hate me
Wanda: i could never
<3: just didn’t want him to stop you from fraternising with the enemy or whatever
Wanda: i’d break the rules for you any day
<3: how romantic
<3: so miss rebel, you coming over tonight?
Wanda: depends if you’re still wearing the suit
<3: anything for you ;)
#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda marvel#wanda x reader#wanda maximoff x you#scarlet witch#marvel#mcu
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peculiar prompt: soulmate au where your dick is the same exact length as your soulmate’s (i guess everyone has a dick in this universe idk 😂) anyways drarry discovering they are soulmates in whatever convoluted way you would like!
Nine and Three Quarters
Summer weddings were an unlikely tradition for a family that ran high to freckles and sunburns, but Harry didn't mind. Usually.
This wedding, though, he'd have just as soon not attended. It wasn't that he harbored any romantic intentions toward Charlie, but seeing him so bloody happy made Harry keenly aware of his own solitude.
Charlie and Constantin fed each other forkfuls of cake and grinned. They were perfectly-matched. Identical white short sleeve dress shirts and gold waistcoats, sparkling blue eyes and mirrored grins as they threatened each other with blobs of icing, much to Molly's horror.
Their matching gold rings felt like an extension of the tattoos on the underside of their left forearms. Charlie's was a dragon, of course. Constantin's was a crouched hippogriff. They were exactly the same size, but different designs and colors.
Forearm tattoos abounded among gay wizards, but it had taken seeing Charlie and Constantin together for him to notice the pattern. A plate of cake floated to his table and set itself down in front of him. He picked it apart with his fork, separating the layers of frosting out from the the cake, then mashed the fluffy cake down into a pellet.
A breathless Charlie flopped into an empty chair next to him and surveyed the wreckage on his plate.
"Got a grudge against that cake?"
"Huh? Oh. No. Sorry."
Charlie slid Harry's cake away, probably for its own good. Constantin and Fleur fox-trotted past, and one of them reached out to ruffle Charlie's hair.
"No date?"
"Nah." Harry licked his fork clean, rolled the bits of cake around in his mouth, and wished he'd have eaten the slice.
"Still doing the playboy thing, eh?"
Harry shrugged. "I guess."
Charlie huffed a laugh. "You guess? What else would you be doing at clubs?"
Harry shrugged again.
"Well, if you get tired of it and want the name of a really good soulmate tattoo artist, let me know." Charlie wiped up a dab of frosting off Harry's plate and popped his finger in his mouth. "Until then, enjoy hunting in the dark."
Charlie rose to leave, but Harry reached out and grabbed him by the buckle on the back of his waistcoat.
"Soulmate tattoos?"
--
--
"But I thought the tattoo went on my arm."
Harry kept his hands in his jeans pockets, just in case the man decided to help him disrobe.
"It does..."
Bushy grey eyebrows rose in speculation, and the man's brown eyes squinted at Harry, unsure of whether Harry was playing a prank, playing dumb, or playing at nothing.
"So why would I take my trousers off?"
"Riiiggght," he said slowly, gently spinning back and forth on his stool. "Why don't you tell me what you do know about soulmate tattoos."
Harry hooked his thumbs in his pockets and looked around the tattoo parlour for clues, but there was nothing but drawings on the walls. Pictures of forearms, too, all with differing sizes of beasts and creatures on them.
"Uhm," Harry started, "they go on forearms." The man nodded and motioned for him to continue. "And... they're... magic?"
The man shook his head and sighed. "The death of gay wizard culture, I swear. I blame that app."
"Wait, there's an app for-"
"Soulmate tattoos are the size of the wearer's dick."
Every tattoo Harry had ever seen ran through his head at once, and he stood slack-jawed for what felt like hours.
The man continued. "And so part of getting one is getting your dick measured. Professionally."
"I... Uh..."
"Men lie on the app. That's why all these boys are running around thinking they don't have soulmates, but older men know better. Back in the day, we'd just walk up to a bloke, line our arms up, and pair off."
Harry looked at the ceiling and tried to imagine a scenario in which that didn't sound both terrifying and oddly comforting.
"Why would you line them up?"
The man stared at him for a long. fucking. time.
"Soulmate dicks match, kid." He grumbled something about the Internet. "Now do you want the tattoo or not?"
"I... Uhm... Maybe later?"
"Suit yourself."
--
There had to be a better way to do this.
Harry balanced on tip-toe, focused on his dick with one eye, and dipped his quill. His tongue peeked out a corner of his lips as he concentrated on tracing around his shaft.
Was the quill angled accurately? Was the nib too far from his skin to be accurate? Was width even relevant?
He let out a held breath and dropped down to his heels. The paper on his desk was an embarrassment.
"Looks like a fucking caterpillar," he grumbled to himself.
Maybe they made enchanted quills for this.
--
The nook of art supplies at Flourish and Blotts was overwhelming, but it smelled good. Needle-sharp enchanted nibs sounded like a terrible idea. Image-grabbing paper sounded equally dangerous. What if he got his dick stabbed or absorbed into a piece of paper?
Someone cleared their throat behind him.
"Can I help you?"
Draco Malfoy met his eyes with a hesitant smile. He looked strangely at home surrounded by paper and ink. He wore a rumpled black t-shirt that advertised in bold white letters "Truth Quills: The Reign of Error Ends Here".
"Uhm... maybe?"
"What kind of project are you working on?"
"I'm... just... tracing something?"
Draco nodded and reached up to grab a pack of nibs just above Harry's head. The Dark Mark on his forearm caught Harry's eye. It wasn't a Dark Mark anymore. The skull wore a crown of red roses, and the snake had been filled in with vibrant yellow and blue markings. Harry decided it looked a bit like a Grateful Dead album cover. But prettier.
"These are good for most projects if you're just starting out."
Draco handed him a plastic box with more thingamajigs than he had any idea what to do with.
"Uhm, okay. Thanks."
"No problem." Draco's eyes wandered down to Harry's forearm and his smile faltered. "Anything else?"
"No, I think I'm good."
--
He wasn't good. He was nowhere near good, and he had black ink all over his dick. Also on his hands, and the table, and the floor, but those were less important.
"Looks like a goddamn Holstein dong."
--
"Alright," Draco said, and his smile was bordering on a smirk. "But what's the reference? What are you trying to trace?"
A dozen dick-shaped things came to mind, and Harry blurted, "A banana."
Draco did not laugh. Not with his mouth. Just with his eyes. His t-shirt today said "Blink Ink: Drier than your ex" in jagged black script.
"Mm hm," Draco squeaked through his nose. "Is accuracy important?"
Harry let out a relieved sigh. "Yes."
Draco cleared his throat and schooled his face. "Here."
He handed Harry a Truth Quill. "That ought to give you an accurate outline of your... banana."
--
"Hot damn!"
Harry held the outline of his cock up to the light. Damned if it wasn't perfect. He laid it face-down on his forearm and frowned. How was he supposed to get it onto his skin?
--
Draco faked a cough and covered his mouth and nose with his hand. "Pardon?"
"I need to transfer it."
"But a backlight won't work because..."
"Uhm... it can't... light can't go through the... other... thing."
Draco's t-shirt today had a frilly, looping font that said, "Nearotica: Almost There."
"Dare I ask what material you're transferring this banana onto?"
Harry focused on Draco's forearm, and the curve of the roses, and the sinewy body of the snake.
"Uhm... leather?"
Draco shot him a challenging look Harry didn't understand. "I suppose you'd want a cautery tool for that."
"Uhm... okay."
--
He wasn't okay. He had two burned dots on his forearm, and a hole in his paper at the base and tip of the outline.
Over a hundred galleons spent, and all he had to show for it were what looked like two mosquito bites that were exactly one penis-length apart.
The hell with all of it.
--
Harry dropped bags of barely-used art supplies on the store counter, and Draco's chin snapped up. He cocked his head and looked at the bags while Harry read his t-shirt: "Thrill Your Darlings: Tropes and Nopes."
"Didn't work out?" Draco asked.
Harry bent down, rested his elbows on the counter, and shook his head. "Can I return it?"
Draco shrugged. "Store credit, since it's all been opened."
Harry buried his face in his hands. "I'll take it in coloring books."
"I'll throw in some markers."
Draco shot him a pitying smile and stood to collect the bags. His eyes caught on the two burn marks on Harry's forearm. He set his elbow next to Harry's and pressed their wrists together.
"Huh," Draco exhaled. He rolled his tattoo against Harry's forearm. The peak of the rose crown touched the mark nearest Harry's wrist, and the snake's tail met the other.
Harry stared at their arms, wide-eyed and panicked in the best way.
"Is it-" Harry started. "Do they, uhm..."
"I... do believe so. If your banana outline was accurate."
Harry gulped. "It was."
"Huh," Draco repeated. "Well, in that case, there's a giant mandala coloring poster I've had my eye on, but it's a bit much for one person."
Harry let a grin spread across his face. "Consider it sold."
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Jeremy Dooley Twitch AMA May 27th
NOT verbatim Jeremy talks a lot and I don't have that much time on my hands. He also goes off on a lot of tangents between answers that I didn't write down so watch the VOD for those.
Q: Which of the 1551 songs that you've written is your favorite?
A: That's a tough call - Going Down Swinging is a lot of fun - Nobody Gets Left Behind is another one of my favorites. It's a really good one.
Q: How is it being a 29 year old infant?
A: Well that's not for much longer, I'm only 29 for another week. And then I'm the big Three Oh.
Q: Have you ever been to the Big E in Springfield, Mass.?
A: No I don't think I've ever been to Springfield, Mass.
Q: What's your best memory with Fredo and Trevor?
A: The three tall guys bit in Off Topic 200 + In live shows we would do improve stuff together and we'd do Whose Line type games and it was a lot of fun.
Q: If you had to pick would you rather be stuck in a space station with Darryl the alien or necromorphs.
A: I don't know if I can really answer that because I've never played Dead Space. Necromorphs sound awful because you don't just die, Darryl would just kill you.
Q: If you couldn't live in Austin or the North East where would you live?
A: Australia.
Q: Do you plan on having kids?
A: I don't know. As of right now, no.
Q: Will you still go see the new office?
A: Yes, absolutely I will.
Q: Why did you tease Uranium(?) in Go Nitro and then he disappeared?
A: He's an overarching enemy in Go Nitro and will pop up in later stories.
Q: Any new music projects?
A: Just working on the new album right now!
Q: How you likin' the mustang?
A: I'm liking it a lot!
Q: Was the kitty situation a factor in staying home?
A: No it was not, this has been a long time in the works.
Q: Do you collect pokemon cards?
A: I used to!
Q: Have you checked out the DLC for Borderlands 3?
A: Some of it!
Q: Purple or orange?
A: Purple over orange.
Q: Will you do a meet and greet in Mass?
A: Yes I'd love to do more meet and greets! We just have to be more careful nowadays.
Q: What do you do when you get writers block?
A: I would go for a walk and put myself in a situation where I can't write, and talk to myself as characters talking to each other in the book and it would get me excited to write again.
Q: Who's your favorite member of the post team and why is it Jerren(?)
A: I don't have a favorite post team member they're all great!
Q: How long did it take you to write your book?
A: I've been writing Go Nitro one since I was in the 3rd grade, so it's hard to answer.
Q: If you were the supreme leader of a cult what would it be called?
A: Do As I Say Not As I Do
Q: 1551 songs are fun to try and play.
A: PLEASE UPLOAD COVERS ON YOUTUBE AND SEND THEM TO ME
Q: Favorite state you've lived in?
A: Mass!
Q: Are you gonna be doing more private streaming with you being less involved with AH when they go back to the office?
A: That's a bridge that we'll cross when we come to it type thing. The short answer is yes. I'm not leaving AH but I'll be more of a contract worker like Ify is.
Q: Do you have a P.O. box?
A: Yes! (Note from Logan: Idk the address sorry LOL)
Q: What happened to the second mass effect vod?
A: There were some edits I wanted to make to it, there were times I got up and left and I wanted to cut that down, I took the video I edited a bunch of stuff and then uploaded that and took it down from twitch.
Q: Next tattoo?
A: Compass rose on my chest. I also wanna get mom's knife from Binding of Isaac and a creeper face.
Q: Who will do dumb stuff like marshmallow spiderman :(
A: I'm sure people will be stepping up to do stuff like that.
Q: Best Linkin Park song?
A: impossible to say
Q: Will you be playing Returnal?
A: yes i want to but i have so many games to play right now + achievement hunter stuff
Q: How long did you have the tall desk?
A: two or three days before i was like please i need life back
Q: Any updates on Go Nitro?
A: Not right now! When I have more time to write I will.
Q: Favorite Three Days Grace song?
A: It's too hard to pick just one song. Animal I Become, Just Like You, Riot, are all some favorites.
Q: Do you plan on playing Subnautica?
A: I plan on it!
Q: New musical artist you recommend?
A: No, but listen to Syler(???) if you haven't.
Q: Do you ever get tired of playing video games all day for work and then playing them on stream/for yourself after work?
A: Yes and no. I don't play games I like a lot at work usually so I don't get sick of them.
Q: With the announcement are you still going to make it to RTX?
A: Yes!
Q: Are you staying with AH and just working remote?
A: Yes.
Q: If there is a season 3 of Haunter will you be in it?
A: Yeah if i'm invited!
Q: What's the best food you ever had and where?
A: I don't know how to answer that, that is such a wide spectrum of stuff. A food I've only had once is caviar. Also when I was in South Korean I had abalone.
Q: If given the opportunity to do so safely would you pet a sea monster?
A: No I don't wanna touch it but I'd like to look at it.
Q: What is your favorite thing to cook?
A: Steak and mashed potatoes.
Q: I'm playing one of your songs at my wedding what do you suggest for dancing?
A: Please do not play 1551 at your wedding (he was laughing here)
Q: Is there a dream car if not another high ticket dream item?
A: We have our mustang, but I'm not a super car guy?
Q: Are you going to stream more once you do less AH content?
A: Yes that is the plan, the number of days I stream will go up.
Q: Are you still playing pokemon go?
A: Nope.
Q: Favorite city in Mass?
A: Burlington my home town!
Q: Do you think you could persuade Chilled to join in AH among us?
A: I mean if he has time, Chilled is an insanely busy person it's kind of hard to like, book him.
Q: Any plans to return to Stardew?
A: I think that's run it's course and we have a lot more games to play.
Q: Was Roulette's play with all them getting replaced with Rainbow Six real or fake?
A: First of all they were getting replaced with Battlefront. There might have been some tomfoolery in that.
Q: How did you feel when you started getting famous on the internet was it a surreal experience?
A: Yeah! Yeah - It's weird. It was a weird feeling the first time someone recognized me, or I did a signing and people were there. The first time it really kicked it was we were about to go out and do like an off topic at rtx or something, and it was very shortly after I had been pulled in as part of the main cast and the crowd started to chant "lil j" for no reason and it was so weird.
Q: If you could have one thing behind you while your stream what would it be?
A: A neon sign- You know those neon signs that depending on what colors light up its a different image? Right? I want one that pertains to what alcohol I'm drinking at the time.
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it's a bit of a pipe dream to think i would be well known one day, but i would hate to become known as a 'british animator' or 'british writer' whose work reflected on the vibrant culture of this shithole of a dead empire. if my work doesn't say on some level "this country is an unmitigated evil in the world and all its institutions and traditions must be violently overthrown" I'm doing something wrong! this seems to be true of e.g. most of the interesting british comics writers. being british should be seen as an unfortunate fact about my background, like, 'oh this explains a lot about how depressing her work is' lmao
anyway this makes me kind of think... obviously i am into a lot of japanese animation and games, and i certainly don't want to make some silly claim that every anime creator i like is some badass radical because that's obviously not true, but also like, promoting an image of 'cool japan' is a literal policy of their seemingly eternal far right government and i don't really want to enable that! i would hate to sort of shackle someone to a nationalist project they don't uphold in appreciative critical writing.
a couple weeks ago i saw an fairly big name webgen animator on an animator discord expressing resentment about being held up as an up and coming filipino animator when, in his eyes, he had seen no support from his country and taught himself everything through the internet. he saw his community as international web animators. and while i don't want to be idealistic, his attitude appealed to me. i feel much more comfortable thinking of myself as a creature of the internet, with all the flaws that entails... i can't really remember a time where i didn't spend much more time reading and talking to people in other countries (mostly Americans, but also a lot of people from other European countries on the old Blender forums) and i guess that played a huge part in my particular path of 'socialisation'.
one thing I've found quite striking since getting more involved in the like, 'indie animator subculture' is that there the balance of countries ppl are from is much more south american and southeast asian, much less USian, than most online communities I've been in, which is honestly a p welcome change. it's a bit of a cliché but i do feel like the internet really is demonstrating its potential to create certain kinds of international connections not mediated through mass media localisation in the way of the last hundred years of capitalism, and as much as corporate near-monopoly media production - The Industry - still dominates the landscape in so many ways, it's still really exciting to see what sort of art movements are going to grow in this ecosystem...
but of course, i realise this feeling of being part of a cosmopolitan international culture or w/e is such a class thing. the UK, by virtue of its place in the world economy and the last few centuries of colonial plunder gets both the most modern comms infrastructure and the benefits of its language being widely considered the path to wealth and privilege, a structure which perpetuates itself long after the period of direct rule... especially since its immediate successor as "top dog empire" also uses English. the people i talk to are either from other rich countries, or often the comparatively well-off people of colonised countries who are coming to speak to me in my language rather than the other way round. there's not much i can immediately do about the distribution of power in this situation, but i don't want to have illusions about it. and if i can figure out the right, sustainable means of motivation, it would be really good to learn to visit the non-English-speaking parts of the web.
what is to be done about all this? idk. just mulling this one over. i very much admire someone like @anarcha-catgirlism who seems to pick up languages as easy as breathing out of an intrinsic love of it (i'm sure she finds it harder than it looks from the outside lol), but I've never had that facility and comfort with language learning the way i did with, say, maths.
it's very hard to figure out how to get a proper habit of practice going the way i have with drawing and animation lately. what happens is, i think one day, oh no, not done this in a while, let's make an effort to get back into practicing kanji, knock a couple hundred off my wanikani queue, and then it won't occur to me to do it again for like, weeks. other languages I've tried i have fared even worse; at best i get a period of hyperfocus and then it collapses, or the excuses for language classes you get in british schools. i don't know how to summon the determination that keeps me coming back to draw even when I'm unsatisfied with my skills. I'm certain it's possible to learn languages even with unmedicated 'adhd', but i haven't figured out the trick of it and continue to be an embarrassing monoglot...
anyway, enough moping. time to draw.
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we're making a project on how para-social relationships have affect on people. and we want people's views on it, so yk, if you'd like to say something about it
also! im waiting for the hockey explanation JSJSJDJD
dm me! for the hockey thing.
i mean, for parasocial relationships i think i know as much as the average person who's spent....jeez almost a decade online?
i remember very vividly, the first time i ever fully had to reckon with a celebrity i liked doing something...bad? for lack of a better word. i was a big aziz anzari fan, i watched his show, i followed him, i watched his interviews, i thought he was super funny and talented
and during the metoo movement i was a little...idk, kind of relieved, that no one i liked was being named, but then a woman came out with her accounts of an incident with aziz anzari and i read it and it was disgusting and vile and made me really disgusted with myself too, for ever liking him as much as i did.
but it also wasn't my fault, nor hers, nor anyone's besides him. and after that I've tried my level best to not get too caught up in how talented or hot or cool someone has seemed, because it's not real. public image is exactly that, it's an image.
just like how john mulaney has gone from being the internets golden boy to being sort of questionable, what with the divorce and the new girlfriend and the baby. (im not saying i see him this way or that i dont, im saying that I've noticed the vibe around him shift quite rapidly.)
but people w parasocial relationships are just so...sensitive for lack of a better word, again? because i do think it's something you need psychological help for, because you start to conflate reality with fiction. it's fake. any online persona, no matter how real it seems, is fake. because it's online. even if someone is crying their eyes out and seems genuine, it's still somewhat fake, because they get to decide to post it, they get to edit it, they get to title it and add a description or they get to explain the context however they want. you can't do that in real life.
and yeah, ppl w parasocial relationships are rlly sensitive, imo. because they've tied themselves to that person, and i feel like esp online celebs like utubers and streamers theres a certain air of "oh, i understand this person, and other people don't. only i get this person in This way." and then by default, they feel bonded to this person that they've never met, and doesn't know that they exist. so when you insult this person, or critique this person or simply even view this person in a possibly negative light, they get defensive and angry and feel the need to Protect not only that person's image, but also to maintain the careful image that they've built up in their mind.
and when these people do something wrong, or something worthy of criticism, these fans will look at the image they have and say either "no, you're wrong or" "you're right, but here's why it's not so bad." and even if those bad things keep piling on, these people cannot adjust their reality to what is literally happening, because they're still convinced that only They understand the Real person, and that everyone else doesn't. they're still committed to the idea they have in their heads.
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what did you think of milk fed ! killing for your literary analysis tbh. also happy new year lol
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ur so sweet, ty for asking 🥲❤️🔥 i'm putting it under the cut so i dont clog the dash (fr don’t click ‘keep reading’ unless u wanna unleash never-ending paragraphs) & for ppl who haven’t read the book, there will be spoilers and **TW** for eating disorders, body dysmorphia, sex, fatphobia
ok i’ll tell u right off the bat i thought it was a flop and the more i think about it, the more i hate it!! i should’ve expected this bc most of my problems with these buzzy contemporary fictions lie in how they feel like they were written with a twitter audience in mind, ykwim? & seeing as melissa broder’s first release ‘so sad today’ (haven’t read) started from her sadgirl prose twitter account under the same name (1 million followers & counting), she’s clearly well-immersed in that corner of the internet and therefore very in on what’ll trend/shock/etc, which is not to say people who are OnlineTM can’t come from a genuine place or that there’s something Bad about being informed by online trends—which are inescapable at this point—but i personally feel unmoved/bored when it’s This transparent in the writing style, yk? like i might as well just follow your twitter at this point but ANYWAY
this article about ‘the millennial/unlikeable woman’ in pop culture sums up my main problems about these kinds of lauded #Feminist works way more eloquently than i could, but there’s a specific phrase “glossy, politically toothless world of high literary society” that i feel this book falls under with how it touches on all these controversial subjects without fully developing any of them. like a revolving door of mommy issues, eating disorders gratuitous sexual fantasies, religion, and even dances around the IDF / israeli occupation of palestine and you’re like ‘WOW this book is GOING THERE!!’ but actually no it’s not bc none of the above are fully committed-to or realized by the end (which was so rushed / unearned btw) so it feels hollow and more like a ‘look what i can do!’ moment rather than anything substantial or subversive
another issue i had was miriam’s characterization, but it’s like What characterization dfkasd bc miriam was hardly a character but instead a projection of rachel’s fear and lust, her body weaponized as a grotesque consequence to rachel’s binging, but also idealized as this dreamy utopia of what she can’t have/be and soooo sexualized to the point where i was like... am i reading fucking bukoswki or what!! manic pixie dream girl, but rated R!! and i Get that this is meant to reflect rachel’s own dysmorphia (all the golem allusions and whatnot) but after reading interviews with broder and seeing that rachel is Very much tangled up with herself, i can’t help but feel like 🤨 what are u Really trying to say 🤨 but actually u don’t even have to dig deep to find the connection with her views bc half the interviews i read included this excerpt from so sad today:
“I really love a zaftig female body. The women I am most sexually attracted to are considered obese by today’s (and yesterday’s) standards. I don’t watch a lot of porn, but a typical search term for me is “fat lesbians.” That is a beautiful fantasy. To be accepted and embraced and adored as your biggest self, the most you. That, to me, is freedom. The ultimate letting go. It’s sexy as fuck. It really turns me on.”
like?! idk she’s mentioned her past eating disorder in interviews so i have no place judging how she deals with body image in present day, but when it bleeds into her fiction in the way of a fat character being endlessly objectified as this symbol of sexuality and indulging and “letting go” of all structure and care, it’s leaves a bad taste in my mouth. like, is it empowering to be fetishized/put on this pedestal u never asked to be on? to have these gratuitous sexual fantasies written about your stomach rolls and your tongue being compared to fat liver or your nipples compared to clits and generally just the most garish metaphors ever UGH which brings me to the ‘erotic’ aspect 🥴 for a book so acclaimed for its eroticism, the sex scenes and descriptors were sooo embarrassingly unsexy to me like when she describes the vagina smelling like a basement, the hand-holding thing where her fingers were supposed to be a dick, “frankencock”... just uncomfortable to read like trying to be grotesque and bizarre but missing the marks entirely BUT ANYWAY!!
all this to say i didn’t like it but can understand how/why people would like it or find it cathartic But also will likely not be reading her other books <3
#sry im late i decided to completely rearrange my room yesterday hashtag new year new look new paige#u said 'literary analysis' + i said 'u got it professor 🤓' LMAO#ew this is kind of emabrrassing actually pls don't let me write this much on here ever again RIP#c speak#asks
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Saki Sanobashi/Go for a Punch (Warning: Mentions of violence and suicide)
Alright, the first post for my new blog. Teach, if you’re reading this than hi :). Okay, lets get started!
Go For A Punch (also known as Saki Sanobashi) is a supposed lost anime that is speculated to have been made in either the 80′s or early 90′s that only have a sub available.
The first mention of Saki is on a 4-Chan comment on a post in 2015 asking about what was the most messed up thing found on the Deep Web. The comment in question said that they (the one who told the internet about this and will be called OP) they found the Deep Web. OP went on to describe how, in 2011 they found a subbed anime OVA called, at least on the site, ‘Go For A Punch’. In it, they described what it was about, so here’s the brief description:
Nine girls are trapped inside of a bathroom with no way out, they have debates over whether or not they’re going to get out. After days of starving, and being naked for some reason (honestly idk either), all of them commit suicide by either bashing their heads in against the floor/clawing at their throats, with one girl with a bright -almost white- hime cut being drowned by another girl in the sink because she couldn’t do it herself. ( below is a reference image of the hair cut.)
The OP mentions that it was 80′s-ish in quality, most girls had short bushy brown hair (there was also the hime cut girl who might have white hair, there’s a red-head and apparently a blonde?), the eyes were small and far apart, strange camera angels, a scream that sounded like the scream Dies Irae from Stanly Kubrick’s The Shinning, the player on the site is similar to the modern Bing Player, and that there really wasn’t any music. People questioned OP as the whole thing sounded interesting, and defiantly stood out from the troll and basic ‘I saw real gore’ posts. One of these comments is where the name Saki Sanobashi came from.
The search went on for 5 years as of when I’m writing this, blowing up after YouTuber Whang posted a video on November 21, 2019 as apart of his ‘Tales From The Internet’ series, which brought more attention to it as part one has 779k views at the current time of writing.
One thing I would like to note is that many people have claimed to have seen Saki, some going into details that OP didn’t list, but sadly the majority of those posts have been proven false, with one admitting that their lie was only made to show how gullible people are, and will believe that anything’s Saki.
Many people were hoping to find this lost anime, one person made a series where they go over manga/anime to see if it’s Saki (the series is on YouTube with a least 50 parts). There has been many false leads, one of which includes the profile pic I’m using claiming the girl was from Saki, but it’s not. Another reason for why the search got crazy was because of all the gore filled anime from back then. Like seriously, there’s a lot there some are more known than others. Also, side note, Saki Sanobashi/Go For A Punch has it’s own TV Tropes page, which is how you know it got big.
But on December 22, 2019 someone claiming to be OP made a post on one of the many sub-reddits.
They said that they made it all up for laughs since they thought the creator of the original 4-Chan thread was an idiot for expecting a serious answer, and OP’s coming forward since they feel bad for how crazy this all had gotten. Their proof was screen shots of the hime girl (which is above and why I chose it) and a book spine which was OP’s pic for the very first post on 4-chan, both screenshots dated for 2015, as well as the Bing player, and the Dies Irae scream.
Now, many people, like myself, are assuming that this OP might not be the real OP. One of the main reasons being why would they still hold onto those specific images, for nearly 4 years at that point, if it was for a troll post. This OP said it’s because they don’t delete downloaded pics, which sound off to me. I will delete pics on my phone if I don’t see a reason to keep it (example: I’ll keep a pic of the Halloween Timeline so I can keep track of which films are on which timeline, but delete a screenshot from a BuzzFeed quiz). But, never the less, some people gave up on the search, leading one of the sub-reddits to become nothing but memes, and the other ones had to pick up the slack.
One group on the sub-reddit is claiming to be making the OVA themselves under the title Team Saki, the trailer’s on YouTube so I suggest that you look it up yourself. I’ve also heard of a possible Visual Novel being made of Saki on one of the sub-reddits. Also, there’s tons of fanart of Saki out there, so if you wanna see how some see it then go ahead search if you want to, there’s a whole sub-reddit dedicated just to artwork. On TikTok, there’s plenty of lovely cosplays as well.
Another thing I feel like mentioning is that there’s a music video made by a J-Pop (Japanese Pop) group, that some people claim is inspired by Saki. I kind of see that, I mean, the art shown at the start looks 80′s-ish, and there are some basic similarities. But, that being said, I’m betting it’s all a coincidence, and we have no clue what the Lost Media scene is like in Japan as Lost Media is different in every country (as the Lost Media ice-burg, made in Spanish, has shown). I’ve Googled if it was, and I’ve seen some sites claim that, but I’m sticking with it’s a coincidence until there’s an official claim from the band themselves to confirm the inspiration so I’m not going by word of mouth.
Here’s the music video if you wanna check it out and there’s also (fake) blood as well as a suicide scene in it, so just to let you know so you’re not caught off guard when it happens. They stay dressed though, with only the pantyhose getting cut. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kBK33DvIoM
So as of when I’m writing, all we have is the mentioned teaser, concept art on the sub-reddit for both the animation and visual novel, an odd half live-action half drawn recreation clip made October 30, 2019. As well as just loads of dead ends. Some people hope that if we find it, or at the very least Team Saki turns out good or it leads to the real deal comes out because of something like a copyright claim or something.
I personally believe that it could exist some where out there, but maybe under a different name and somewhat buried on the internet. I meant if something that was banned such as Shoujo Tsukubki can find it’s way onto YouTube (aka the Surface Web/ Clear net) then it’s honestly possible it’s out there.
Either that or I just wasted your time with reading about something that might not even exist, so here have a kitty!
GO FOR A PUNCH/SAKI’S CURRENT STATUS:
Existence unconfirmed, but fan projects are being made.
#lost media#go for a punch#saki sanobashi#internet stories#first post for the blog#tw violence#tw suicide mention#internet things
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