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notmyprey · 5 months

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G/t vore story!! (Idk how many words, but it's quite a few!)

Summary: Braise (giant) is cooking for Sadey (tiny), Sadey gets put on shelf so she wont eat all the food before Braise is done, but that does not stop her from trying to get to it. Sadey falls, and ya, I'll leave it there so the story is not spoiled.

Sadey laid on her stomach as she stared at the food on top of the table, blissfully imagining taking a bite out of one of the many baked goods arranged neatly across the table. From her vantage point, up on a counter just above the food, she was not only able to see the never ending mounds of sweets, but also able to smell the sweet aromas of all the fresh cookies and cakes as well.

Unfortunately, at this height, she was not sure if she would be able to make it down without injury. She couldn't ask Braise, her giant friend, because they were the one who put her here to keep her out of the food in the first place, and this was one of the few places in the house where the accommodation of a ladder was not installed.

Sadey sat back and huffed, practically feeling her stomach yell at her for breaking her one-sided stareing contest with the sweets. Standing up, she wandered around the shelf, searching for anything to help her get down. The search bared nothing, not even something that would break her fall in the slightest. "So much for that," she sighed, flattening herself against the counter beneath her so her could once again gaze down at the food.

A dull noise sounded from the right. Snapping her head up away from the food, she listened as a faint rithmic thumping sound echoed from the kitchen. Braise soon came into view, holding what appeared to be some sort of warm drink in a mug.

"ASSHOLE!" She shouted, quickly getting the giants attention.

Braise chuckled, setting down the drink in their hands on the table below her. Braise searched the counter, and since Sadey was so small, it made it harder for them to see her. "I had to keep you out of the food somehow," their normal talking voice much louder than Sadey's, even compared to her shouting, "and I assume you would not rather me keep you in my pocket?" Their eyebrows raised, as if to challenge her.

"No..." she grumbled in response.

Sadey sadly watched as Braise thumped their way back into the kitchen, wishing they would finish up with whatever they were doing so she could get down and eat.

The smell of warm chocolate had finally reached her, allowing her to identify the new addition to the smorgasbord as a cup of hot coco. Examineing it, the cup was deep, deeper than the ones Braise often used for tea at least. It didn't have any topings, no marshmallows, no whipped cream. "What a monster." She murmered, giggling at her own joke. The only thing she could give her giant friend credit for is that they filled the cup all the way to the top. With a bit of excitement, she realized that the cup is definitely big enough for her to swim in. Perhaps, once let down from her air prison, Braise may let her bask in the warmth of the warm drink.

Now that she thought about it, she was kind of cold. With a small shiver, Sadey's thoughts slowly drifted from food to not being cold. Something wiggled into her brain, a small idea, one that was quite stupid on her part, one that could go horriblely wrong, but one that would solve both her problems at once. If she could land in the cup, it's filled enough for her to swim out of and start her feast.

She scurried up onto her feet, taking a moment to assess her jump. Then, taking a few steps back to give her some momentum, her heart flew from her chest as she pummeled through the air and right into the cup.

In the kitchen, Braise was just now pulling the last piece to the neverending amount of sweets they had made today out of the oven. The smell of a sweet gooey lava cake lingered in the air, making their stomach growl in anticipation. Gently turning the container upside-down onto a plate, they gently shook and lifted until the cake slid perfectly out. Not wanting to linger on the growing pile of dishes, Braise gently, but quickly, tossed the container into the sink, making themselves focus on the masterpiece before them. They knew how excited Sadey had been for this. The thought of seeing their tiny friends' sunshine smile as she mowed down on the numerous number of desserts, all of which wede made by them, made Braise's heart flutter.

Moving towards the dining room, plate in hand, they started to think about how many left overs there would be. Would Braise have to make up for Sadeys' small size by eating this all? They didn't really like desserts as much as Sadey did, but wasteing food was not something they were fond of either.

The table shook, vibrating the cup and chocolate liquid Sadey sat in, as Braise returned from the kitchen. She hunkered lower, hoping that in a moment, they would go back to the kitchen so she could jump out and start her scavenging. But to her surprise, she heard the giant sit down.

Suddenly, and strangely close, her friend spoke. "Mmm, look at all this good food. I'm going to start eating it without you," they sang the last part, obviously trying to get a rise out of her. She felt herself stop breathing. Did they know she hopped down from the counter? She hadn't really thought about it, but if Braise knew she got down, would they no longer let her eat the food? A bit of worry set in at the thought that all of her efforts were going to be wasted, and that in the end, she wasn't even going to be able to eat the food!

Her world shook again, but this time, it wasn't the table moving, but the cup itself. She felt it get raised further and further off the ground until it was at mouth level with Braise. She was brought towards Braises face, Sadey didn't dare speak. Soon, she saw their lips appear at the edge of the cup, it wasnt until now that she realized just how red they were. Slowly, Braises lips parted, and they tilted the cup up, forcing Sadey to slide into their awaiting mouth. It didn't take long for her to be ontop of Braises soft tongue, though that didnt last long either, because not even a few moments after she saw the last bit of light fade from the closing mouth, she was forced into the tight confines of her friends throat. Engulfed by the ever moving muscles around her, she forgot about everything, the food, her worries, she didn't even stop to think about what would be waiting for her at the end of her decent, all she knew was that she was surrounded by a strange comfort, and that she had no intentions of leaving it.

Braise set the chocolate lava cake on the table, and they smiled again at seeing their hard work all laid out in one place.

"Mmm, look at all this good food. I'm going to start eating it without you," they teased. Picking up the drink they had set down earlier, the cup was still warm, making them think that the liquid inside was as well. They pressed the cup up to their lips, feeling the warm drink slip into their mouth, they felt a small marshmallow come along with the drink, smiling at the sweetness that came with the singular marshmallow. Only reveling in the warmth for a moment, they swallowed, sending the drink and marshmallow to their stomach. The coco had a sweet aftertaste, one that they had never noticed before, which almost tasted better than the hot chocolate itself.

"Oh well, none for you!" Braise called to the shelf, hoping that would be enough for their tiney friend to say something in response.

After a few moments of silence, they called out for their friend, increasing in worry. Standing up, they walk over to the shelf, panic setting in, "Sadey?"

The throat was so nice that Sadey almost felt like falling asleep, but, unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. The throat started to open up and slowly dispensed her into a larger area. The walls were not as tight as the throat but still tight enough that she could reach out with both arms and touch the sides. There was a liquid that sat on the floor, soaking her already drenched pants. The walls seemed to move, gently kneeding back and forth.

She leaned back, letting herself sink into the walls. They moved around her, almost like they wanted nothing more than to keep her close.

A voice echoed suddenly, making her jump. It seemed to come from all around her, but also so far away. It sounded like her name. She waited to see if it would happen again, but it didn't. Instead, everything started to move up, then forward, finally stopping after a few steps.

"Sadey?" Braises voice was even louder now. They sounded worried. She didn't really want to announce herself, some from the bit of embarrassment that was starting to take hold, and some from her will to stay. But she hated to see her friend panic, and that was worse than any sort of embarrassment.

"Uhm," she started, not quite sure how to explain herself, "I-Im alright?" She instinctively gave a sheepish smile, even though Braise was not able to see it. After a few seconds of them probably trying to figure out where the noise had come from, she felt the area around her tense up, and a small gasp sounded from above her.

Braises eyes darted across the shelf, only an hour ago, they had put Sadey down to keep her safe and out of everything, now, they couldn't find her. They knew she was small, but the shelf was mostly empty, and although it may be harder to see her from far away, they were certain they should be able to spot her from this close.

A strange feeling started in their stomach, the same fluttery feeling they had felt in their heart as they thought of Sadey smiling. A small muffeld noise came from below them, then, though faint, they hear Sadey speak, "I-Im alright?". She sounded uncertain, not as much in the fact that she was ok, but more in the fact of what was happening.

Braises eyes quickly bolted towards the floor, but upon inspection, Sadey was not there. Their brain searched for an answer, where on earth was she?

Looking back towards the table, they searched the food, looking for any movement, their eyes resting on the cup of hot chocolate. A gasp excaped their lips. Braise had never added anything to the hot coco. There were never marshmallows in it. It seemed like their stomach clenched instinctively, like a dog who snached some food it wasn't supposed to, trying to keep the food for itself.

They couldn't help but gag. They plopped down onto the floor, legs folding under them as they started lifing up their shirt to look at themselves. Nothing seemed to be different about them, but the little flutter of movement from within confirmed all they needed to know.

A gaging noise came from above her. Sadey brased herself as she felt Braise swiftly plop down. Their heart was audible now, thudding quickly, much like their feet when they walked on the floor. Braises breathing had started to become shakey. She needed to do something, or poor Braise was going to have themselves a panic attack.

She moved towards what she thought was Braises front and rested her hand on the wall of Braises stomach. It was soft and mushey, but still solid in a way. She pressed a bit and started to rub her hand up and down, not unlike the stomachs own movements.

A small amount of pressure pressed against her hand from the outside. Small sniffled sobs sounded from above her, showing her the shower of emotion her friend was going through.

"Im fine." This time, her words came out clear and calm. With this newfound confidence, she kept talking, "Braise, do you think you can sit back in the chair for me?"

They didn't say anything, but a sad, but agreeing, hum arose from Braises throat. Swaying again, but this time gently, she felt herself raise along with her friend. Again, softer than before, she felt her friend settle into the chair. She still heard the sniffels and small sobs, but they were quiter now, and their breathing and heart have slowed a bit.

Sadey took the opportunity to make herself comfortable again, moving around and squirming until she felt everything was perfect.

"..Sadey?" Braise squeaked.

"Uhm?" Sadey hummed in response.

"What... um... how... are you.. ok?"

"Im fine, I promise," she again started rubbing at the soft, deep red stomach that surrounded her, "do you want to start eating the desserts you made?"

".. they were mostly... for you..."

Sadey did really want to eat the food they cooked now that she thought about it. But she also really liked it here. Maybe she could convince them to eat her again?

"I kinda," she paused, her embarrassment coming back a bit, "do you think, uhm, if you let me out.... Could I come back after?"

Tears started forming in Braises eyes. They couldn't believe that their best friend had managed to find herself in their stomach. Sadey said she was ok, but Braise still felt horrible. There was a swelling need for them to puke, but they didn't want to hurt her. She was small, and out of all the fears they had had, this was never one they had considered nor planned for. They had no plan, and that was probably one of the worst parts.

They felt their heart and lungs speed up, and soon, the tears were no longer silent.

Braise started to feel like they couldn't move. They started to sob as they heard the whispers of their fears. The whispers hissed and spat, Sadey was too good for them, what a horrible friend they are, what normal person eats their friend? But among them was one whisper, more of a feeling, coming from their middle. Looking down, they soon realized that Sadey had started rubbing them from the inside. They placed their hand above where they felt her press against them, both in apology and partly because their friends' touch felt nice.

"Im fine." Sadeys' muffled voice erupted through the whispers. Although it did not silence the venomous words of their fears, it did seem to drown them out enough for Braise to move again.

Sadey instructed Braise to go sit back in the chair they were at before. They tried not to shake Sadey around too much. They eased their way into the chair, using their arms to slow down their decent.

After sitting down, movement started back up in their stomach. Though they tried to ignore it, with every little step, they couldn't help but notice how nice it felt. Their brain was split, on side screaming about how horrible it is that they ate their friend, and another enjoying the feeling that came with it.

After the fluttering died down, the feeling part of their brain faded, once again being taken hold of by the side of their brain that was in a complete panic.

"..Sadey?" Braise squeaked. Their heart was strangely calm, so although their mind was noisy, the rest of them said otherwise.

Once again, Sadey started rubbing their stomach, which made most of the interaction hard to concentrate on.

She said something about them eating dessert, it was for her though, and they think they told her as much. They didn't quite know. At some point, their hand drifted to rest over their stomach, not pressing against it, just resting there. Everything was kinda hazy. But something managed to get their attention quick.

"Do you think, uhm, if you let me out.... Could I come back after?"

Braise did not expect such a strange answer to their question. Come back after? Does she mean that she wants to leave, eat the food they made, and then for them to eat her again? They couldn't help the blush that ran to their cheeks.

"Why?" The question popped out of Braises mouth before they could even catch it. Of course, they didn't mean it in a mean way, just out genuine concern mostly, but that was not any way to ask. "Im sorry, Im just," they cleared their throat, "Uh, I just guess. Im sorry, I dont understand what's happening.... Im... I feel really.... weird... kinda hazey... like... a cloud?"

They felt Sadey start to move again, and their hand instinctively pressed her back down.

"Sorry I... oh god... maybe you should..." They started to stammer, now scared. What if their mind fades again? What if Sadey is trapped forever? How could they get her out without hurting her?

"How about this." Sadey spoke with authority, "You puke me up, I stay out for a bit and eat the food you prepared for me, and then I come back later?"

"But.. I dont.. I dont wanna hurt you..."

"What?"

"You know.... your small and like... I dont know.... what if my throat... you know?"

"You know you swallowed me right?"

"Well yah.."

"I will be fine. Ok?" Her words echoed, etching themself in stone in Braises mind. It served as a quick reminder through the fog, they trust her more than anyone else. They needed to trust her.

"Hang on.." Braise finally breathed.

Maybe this will actually turn out alright.

They heaved.

Maybe eating her again after this is ok.

She started to enter their throat.

It was nice to have her so close.

And now their mouth.

Perhaps she's right.

Grabbing her, Braise lifted Sadey out of their mouth and into the palm of their hand.

They examined her, she was breathing, soaked in a weird mix of stomach acid and hot chocolate, but she was ok. She was smiling at them. She was alive and well, just like she said she would be.

#safe vore #sfw vore #soft vore #sfw g/t #g/t

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historia-vitae-magistras · 1 year

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Did their mother leave Rhys the sword specifically? Or How did he get it?

This is based on the very vague idea that religion and displacement killed Britannia, and this is probably the second wave of Anglo-Saxon invasions, so I refer to the Jutes to try and be specific but eh???? This takes place as the Germanic invaders come to close around the family hillfort, I fucken guess. Idk, There was one Celtic British tribe called the Brigantes in Ireland, Scotland and England and maaaaaybe in Wales. It's a fucken reach, but I'm basically writing fantasy at this point anyway. But anyway, as the Romans pulled out in the 5th century, that transformed into the Kingdom of Rheged in what is now Northern England and Southern Scotland. Arthur is about ten, Rhys is probably sixteen, Alasdair and Brighid about 18. Alasdair has been stabbed, and Brighid was sent away to her her own territories. None of this makes fuck all historical or chronological sense ngl but this scene gripped me by the neck and wouldn't let go until it was on paper. TW for offscreen violence and... consensual implied???? murder.

The Jutes breached the steep sides of the earthworks on the seventh day. The carnyx made their harrowing cries, and Rhys shoved a Jute down and pried his sword from the man's neck, whipping around as the carnyx blew two short notes and a longer third, the signal to summon him to mother. Arthur was on the inner walls with the other archers. Rhys saw his youngest brother flick blood from his fingers as he nocked another arrow and slipped between the maze of stone battlements as fast as his legs would allow him. Arthur glanced down, a frown on his face as his arrow flew, and then he was off the gallery, hanging from the beam and running next to Rhys for home.

"Go back," Rhys said. "Go back, I'll come for you after."

"Mother summoned you," Arthur said, keeping pace. His tunic was wearing thin at the elbows, all the wear of firing, and Rhys ached. He would have to find his baby brother a new one soon and find his cloak before winter closed in.

"Yes," Rhys said.

"I'm coming."

Rhys slowed, stopped for only a moment, his momentum nearly tipping Arthur over as Rhys gripped his arm.

"They breached the walls." He said and Arthur nodded, his too-large eyes watering.

"I know."

"Do you understand what comes next?"

"I... I want to say goodbye. Please. I'll go if you say, but I need to say goodbye."

Rhys squeezed his eyes shut, taking a breath, pain he had ever scarcely imagined twisting in his body. "When I say go, you go."

Another nod, more tears. Rhys held his brother's trembling hand. He was still so young, sandy hair still fine. He kissed his brother's forehead.

"I won't let anything happen to you today." Rhys said fiercely. "But you have to go when I say."

They moved again. In the stone hall, they found mother on the yew throne before the altar where she had once been worshipped.

"Mother!" Arthur leapt into her lap, crying freely now. Her hair was loose, streaming over her shoulders in firey spirals, so like Brighid's. He sobbed into her arms, and Rhys could barely keep his grip on his sword. Not even his own, Alasdair's old one. He'd lost his brother in the fray and Alasdair had not responded to the call. His mother cradled her youngest son and stared at Rhys, searching his face.

He nodded, and his understanding of his duty seemed to give her more strength than she'd had in decades. She gripped Arthur tighter.

"Don't go! Don't leave." Arthur cried and then in a much smaller voice. "Don't leave because of me."

Mother cradled his face, her war torc glinting. "It is not your fault. This is not your fault, sweet boy. All things must journey beyond the sunset. It is only my turn now."

"Where?" Arthur trembled. "Where will you go?"

Rhys had to close his eyes. The world had changed so much, Arthur could not immediately recall where they went in the end.

"West, my love. Beyond the sea and the sunset. With all those gone and all those yet to be. West."

Arthur clutched her tunic in his small, trembling hands, but his small mouth set in a line.

"Someday," She said and kissed him. "In some form. You will find me again, my love. My sweet boy. I love you. I love you so much. Find your cloak, find your bow and live, my sweet boy. Stay alive." She set him on his feet again.

"No," Arthur shook his head and his control broke complete, sobbing. "Mother no, please don't make me go."

"You must," She touched his cheek. "You must find your siblings and you must go. I will see you again."

"Wait for us, Mama." He cried. "Don't go too far west, please. Please."

"I will see you again." She said firmly, and her tears broke over her cheeks. "Go, my boy. Go now."

He wouldn't. He screamed and kicked. Rhys had to lift Arthur as he beat on his back and tossed him from the hall, slamming the doors behind him as he howled. His mother was in tears, beautiful and trembling. The great golden war torc around her neck glinted.

"I am sorry," She said and she gripped his hands. "I am so sorry I have to ask this of you."

"I know." He whispered.

"I won't die under the hooves of the Germans," She said, fiercely, her nails puncturing his palms. "I will die as I lived."

"I know," He said again, unsure how he had managed to keep his sobs boiling in his belly and not rising to spill out.

"You have to keep the peace, my love." She said. "You have to keep the peace between all of you."

"I will." He said and that was what broke the sob open. He dropped Alasdair's old sword. "Don't hate me when I fail. Please. I'll try but I---"

"Never." His mother flung him on her and held him like he was newly weaned and tiny again, clinging to her as all light and life and warmth in the world. "I will never hate you. I will love you and your siblings still when the fire in the sky goes out, Rhys."

The cacophony had grown louder, shouts and screams and clanging metal. She gripped him.

"My torc goes to your sister. What's left of the gold you can divide amongst yourselves." She lifted her hands from him and he went cold without them. She reached behind her seat and lifted her sword. "And this, this will have to be yours."

"Is this..." He stared at the leaf-bladed sword he had watched her wield all his life.

"Yes." She said and pressed it into his hands. "Through my heart, my love. The blood will soak the soil, but my cloak can cover the wound. Wait for your sister to bury me in the barrow. It's cold enough. You know where."

Rhys sobbed. They poured out of him in the rush of the great rivers. One, two, three great gulping sobs, and then he shook his head, rubbed his eyes and looked at her, breathing hard.

"It is time. Remember what I told you." Her dreams of her youngest son, her wisdom for Rhys, her love for all of them.

"Keep the peace. Arthur will one day build impossible iron ships. You love us."

"More than anything, I love you." She said, and he knelt before her on her throne. Her hands were white. She opened her cloak to reveal her tunic, and he lifted the sword.

#hws brittania #hws england #hws wales #my writing || cacoethes scribendi #Arthur || stone set in the silver sea #Rhys || my word for heaven was not yours #Eirian || into the nightlands #Britannia and her children || they made a desert and called it peace #historical inaccuracy? in my historical fantasy? more likely than you think

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thedaytheworldburned · 8 months

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'Chasing That Feeling' MV First Reactions

Guys, I'm reacting. The blog isn't dead. I'm just also going to the Wild Kpop Fest in Sydney, so had to get ready for that. It was fun and I enjoyed seeing all three groups, but especially New (ahem, bias altert, ahem).

But let's have a look.

First, this MV pretty obviously follows on from 'Good Boy Gone Bad,' 'Sugar Rush Ride' and so on. It also has what I interpret as some nice Magic Island references, but I may be completely wrong (as always). So let's get into it!

I feel like this ray of light depositing TXT on Earth is a pretty obvious representation of them being expelled from Magic Island. It shows how violently they have been expelled after abusing their power, and it conveys how they, like Gfriend and unlike BTS, were born on the island, as such, and thus are basically supernatural non-human beings.

Also, the rubble and water are reminiscent of 'GBGB' and the Japanese MV for 'Sugar Rush Ride' - instantly visually connecting this storyline to the heartbreak and insanity one which those MVs discussed.

And, of course, we have the continuation of the star and the number 5 - there are 5 tunnels leading out of this hole, 5 colours in the light, 5 lights they chase, 5 points on the star, and so on.

There's also a nice contrast with the idea of angels coming down from the sky, and TXT being dressed in black - reminiscent of when they went crazy and were decidedly not angellic, despite being supernatural.

This is also emphasised by the fact that they are styled with tattoos.

Also, as always, TXT's choreographies are great.

Don't ask me to colour analyse the colours of light each membr chases - it would take far more time and research than I have today to do that in depth, and is thus better suited for a proper MV analysis. The most I can say so far is - Kai is gold - since he is the 'angel', Gyu has been associated with green before, especially in the webtoon through plants, and Yeonjun gets the other side of the cat - blue and green, thus he gets green.

A lot of this MV is them further abusing their powers, since they clearly didn't learn their lesson. Also - note that there are a lot of cars featured in this MV - cars being something we have seen in Magic Island arcs before, and which is generally a symbol of transit - as TXT are continuing their journey.

Interestingly, only Gyu, Yeonjun, and Taehyun seem to actually attain their power in this MV - Kai and Soobin are just constantly chasing it. We know Kai is in an internal battle, so it makes sense why he chases. Soobin is also being held back by doubts and the glass box the cat put him in. Yeonjun, Taehyun, and Gyu are all very firm in their beliefs - whatever those might be, and whether they're good or evil - so they can grab that power and feeling since they know how.

Trains are back - another way to get to Magic Island. They also emphasise the sense of danger in this MV.

Also, are you wondering why no one - except for the people Yeonjun LITERALLY RAN INTO are reacting to them in this MV? I'll discuss that more later.

I also think this scene is the best visual representation of the longing and desire they feel in the MV - Soobin reaching forward for power, for love, for literally everything he could ever want, but forced ackwards by the momentum of the train and his own doubts.

Like, look at this face!

Also - note that the tattoos on his neck look a little like the branches/veins V had on his neck during 'ON' era - a coincidence? Idk, but it's interesting.

So here we see that Taehyun has his power, and, like the rest of them, he is wonderfully misusing it.

Same with Gyu - although in a far more dangerous way.

Yeonjun too.

I'm not entirely sure if this is supposed to be Kai having his power or just grabbing a lift to try and catch up to it - but since there's no golden light, I'll assume he doesn't have the power.

I don't think this has any point other than to show how he's cool, how he's using his power, and possibly associating him with Gyu considering the light is green.

Star time again!

They've unified - making them more powerful, as expected. But interestingly, in this explosion, I only really see the red and blue, and, by proxy, purple. Was there a reason for this? Soobin, Taehyun, Yeonjun - generally but not always portrayed as good - vs Gyu (who smothered Taehyun) and Kai (who has a demon inside him)? Maybe I'm completely wrong.

So the Dr Strange stuff going on here is interesting because it shows that their abuse of their powers is literally breaking the universe/breaking reality. It also made me think that they were moving between dimensions - you know, since it's the mirror dimension. Which brings me back to people ignoring them and the light falling from the sky - it's possible that they have been shoved into another dimension, either by their own volition or because of the harm they did to Magic Island. This is a nice use of visual shortcut and also offers a potential explanation for why they are suddenly in some random city in America or England - I thought it was London but my knowledge of these places is almost nonexistent so please forgive me for not knowing.

I also find it interesting that they suddenly snap back to reality.

And also an odd shot to end on. The only thing we would think we would get from this is seeing the boys leave, but we also see the cars, the people walking, and the buildings. I have no doubt there is hidden meaning or are hidden detailsl, but the only thing I can really point to is that it reminds me of 'My Fair Lady,' and that the steam rising up could be considered the damage left over from the world knitting itself back together after going all mirror-dimension.

So that's the end of the MV!

I love the choreography, as always, but that is best analysed in a different video. Interestingly, I think it does little (compared to their other choreos) to tell the story, and instead is just cool and portrays the mood of the song.

Let's talk about the lyrics for a moment.

We've of course got the mandatory mentions of the night and moonlight, and of the highs of being in a 'loving' relationship.

The 'thief that keeps on stealing' is interesting, because there's the obvious meaning of 'stealing my heart,' but also the implied meaning of stealing power etc.

Then of course, the idea of miracles. Lightning is also often associated with a dangerous form of love (See Romeo and Juliet for what is probably the oldest example of that). And the kalidescope and butterflies are of course related to the butterfly effect and the fracturing of the world through the mirror univserse/dimension.

And that's pretty much it. A nice simple set of lyrics for a short little song.

Conclusions

It follows on from the previous MVs and storyline. Although slightly different themes are explored in each MV, they seem to be very obsessed with the 'high' phase of the relationship, rather than, you know, the fallout and the healing from it. Maybe they're serially dating toxic people. Psychologically that would make sense. Storyline-wise? Not so much.

That said, they probably like keeping the romance for the title tracks since that sells well, and keeping the funky mind-bending curse stuff for award shows and bside MVs, since the fans love that, and it makes jaws drop in award show season. In fact, they released this basically just in time for award show season - was that for a reason? Or is that a conspiracy theory of mine?

As a matter of interest, this (generic title tracks and crazy bsides) is something that exists in the whole industry but ESPECIALLY in HYBE.

#txt #tomorrow x together #txt theories #mv analysis #the name chapter #tnc #the name chapter: freefall #chasing that feeling

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catelyngrant · 6 months

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2, 8, 10, 15 - for the writer asks! XD

2. How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!) Oh man...I have notes and little bits of two paragraphs here, a page or five there, but most of those will never go anywhere and I'm sure I've forgotten most of those ideas already but for knowing that they're in the depths of my Google Drive.

I published 10 (which is way more than usual for me!) and I've worked on/started four that I feel committed to finishing and posting eventually, as well as one more that I'll either write in the next week or watch it disappear into the ether (pretty sure there's not gonna be an in-between option for this one). This has been a year of hyperfixation whiplash, which, combined with ADHD, has had me spiraling all over the place with ideas and then promptly getting distracted and losing the momentum.

8. Did you write for a new fandom or ship this year? You know, I didn't—this was actually the year of me returning to some very, very old roots! I've written and posted my first 24 fic since, Christ, idk...2006? And then my first BSG fic since 2011, my first Doctor Who fic since 2012, and my first Star Trek fic since 2013. I wasn't expecting this but it's been pretty wild and fun! The TNG cast reuniting on Picard and then having David and Catherine back as the Doctor and Donna on Doctor Who were extremely inspiring external factors, but BSG and 24 were basically whims. I signed up for a BSG exchange in honor of the 20 year anniversary because I thought it would be fun to dip my toes back in that pond and then absolutely panicked when I realized I had to actually write BSG fic in the year of 2023, and then I started the 24 fic during a rewatch awhile back and @starg8rocks reminded me of it a few months ago and inspired me to finish it.

So, in short: no new fandoms, but lots of old ones!

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? I mean, the blood sacrifice (aka the Succession yacht vs. orca crack fic) was pretty entertaining to me personally. I'm also just having so many feelings about Doctor Who deciding that the 2023 message is "rest, recover, and reconnect with all of your friends". So, while it was quite bittersweet and partly the result of me actively rejecting the premise that Sarah Jane Smith is dead in-universe, it was mostly just lovely and cathartic to write what falls away is always and offer two characters I adore a soft, quiet moment of care and connection.

15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023. The two fics that I agonized over most this year were let your faith die, bring your wonder (BSG, Laura Roslin gen) and we even flew a little (Succession, post-s3 but pre-s4 Roman/Gerri). Between one being in an older fandom and being gen vs. shippy and the other being posted just before season four of Succession started and catapulted the entire fandom, me included, into a new era of fic, I'm not shocked that neither of them got as much love (comparatively) to others I posted this year, but I like them. They're both fics I'm a bit self-conscious about and felt unhappy with when I posted with but I think that's largely because they took so long and stressed me out more than anything else I wrote this year—I liked them more upon revisiting.

my fic from this year send me 2023 fic questions!

#my fic

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azikarue · 8 months

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I think it's time to admit that I'm not going to be posting my fills for the TyHil Love Countdown on time. 😞 Life is full of things that require my energy and attention right now, and I simply don't have enough time to craft the story I want to craft.

I'll post some more details under a cut for anyone who is genuinely curious, but rest assured: I will still be working on the fills these next few months because I'm truly so excited for them, and I'm going to do my best to support the others participating in the event in the meantime.

Hopefully giving myself the time I need means that my fills will be worth the wait. 🤍

For anybody who craves details:

A few months back I made this post mentioning an idea for a multi-chapter story that I had. When the poll came out for the TyHil Love Countdown, I was secretly hoping the set of prompts we ended up with would win, because I knew I could work them into that very same multi-chapter story I already had swimming around in my brain.

And here we are!

I'm really excited to write this story and share it, but I've never come close to finishing a proper multi-chapter story with one overarching plot before. I told myself that, if I ever wrote a fic like that, I'd write the entirety of the story before I even thought about publishing it. I'm not comfortable with posting on the fly because I know myself and I know I'll want to edit the story as a whole unit before posting it. I overthink too much not to lol And there's always the possibility I'll be the only audience for my fics, so I want to be 100% happy with what I put out there.

Since my life is so nuts right now, I definitely will not be finishing this story in the next two weeks. I might not make any progress at all, idk. But I'm going to try, because I'd love to post it early next year.

Soooo, currently accepting tips on maintaining momentum for multiple chapters. And sorry if anyone was looking forward to TyHil from me sometime soon. I don't think it's in the cards, but I hope you enjoy my upcoming fic, whenever it gets to actually coming. 🙃

#i have an obsession with posting under a cut currently #in my head it feels like giving people who don't want to listen to my rambling permission to sit it out lol #azrupdate #azikarue #azikarue394

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amerasdreams · 2 years

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Novelember Day 5

2900 words today!! (I think it was 2990 but I didn't make myself go yo the end bc I'm not making the main focus be word count. It's just cool to find out how many words. But it's the quality that matters and if you are having a good time)

I got like 8 hrs sleep yay! I was sleeping really heavily when my alarm went off. Rainy out. I ran out to visit pets, then back to write!

Even with notes it took me a bit to get into it. Maybe bc the stakes are so high. This is the edge. Overwhelming.

I edited all I wrote yesterday (of course need more editing before posting) so... maybe it didn't take me that long. I drank some caffeine so I would be at optimum. I was a bit tiredish yet, or mind not awake, maybe the meds or catching up sleep or weather or mind felt like need a rest (kinda felt like the last one)

Anyway. Once I got to writing... actually the 1st part I changed from what I thought yesterday. I had to get into Gray's mind and see how he would really react, not impose any preconceived actions on him. Ended up in general with what I was thinking of. A sort of low point to be able to think a certain way....

Waiting game for a bit. Dealing with what happened. Suspense. I realized suspense fan be created when characters aren't in the action but know something is going on, and there is nothing they can do about it. Nothing they should do about it.

Then--

Some action and then I couldn't type fast enough. I had ideas jotted down on my notebook and filled them in writing... wrote down so wouldnt forget/organize complex ideas/actions to keep straight in my mind, keep authentic what's happening offscreen so I can write the reaction authentically.

Some minor characters (bit parts) get killed. I even feel sorry for them bc they had lived now it's cut off :(

Chapter 50 is finished!!!

Yay!

Now I'll post it (soon)

It ends on a cliffhanger

I'll write what happens next in the next chapter bc I want to know. Don't want to lose momentum.

This is it

When getting lunch and watching a show I was actually shaky. Idk if it was the cold, the caffeine, or the excitement of the story-- finally heading toward climax, the events lining up generally anyway. It's been a long time leading up. I'm entitled to excitement (long time leading up, foundation, leads to lots of finale suspense as well)

#writing #adventures in odyssey #fanfiction #novelember

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yourfriendanniefish · 4 months

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ok assorted Destiny 2 thoughts because not enough people follow me here for it to really matter (lmao)

thinking about 2022 for the game and how, even on the off season (plunder), the game felt good because we were also getting the 2.0 subclasses. so even if season of plunder was weak (and in hindsight... idk, man, was it?), there was still arc 2.0 to gas up the game.

but okay, let's think about the last year of destiny 2. every season's had some kind of bum note to it—

defiance was okay but the defiant battlegrounds didn't feel as hot as the psi op battlegrounds or the warmind ones (old idea, not really iterated on), the AVALON mission is cool but weirdly divorced from the rest of the season? and then there's the whole Holliday Thing, a weird fridging that doesn't even have the part where people get emotional about it (though having that happen right after Lance Reddick died irl made for one bizarre moment of watching his character kneel in front of a shrouded body). but it's a bad story beat that didn't feel earned at all, coming off of an expansion that absolutely destroyed all the momentum of the year before. so it feels like an extra rake in the face narratively when the game really couldn't afford it.

then after that we go to season of the deep, which feels like maybe it wasthe worst season of the entire game? like, i was maybe the only person primed to be pumped for Titan to come back, but did it really? the "salvage" missions were fucking terrible, lazy and boring, just jumping around Titan trying to find something to do to get... well, idk what it was there for, even. then there were the deep dives, which were great in theory, but they were saddled with the need for every one on the team to agree to make it as hard as possible, in a matchmade activity, with randoms. that just... wasn't going to work, and it often didn't, or at least became extremely frustrating if you actually wanted to do something. i never even played the entire dungeon, which is kind of a drag, and it's just as much through my disillusion with the game as it is the mix of "i can't find a full fireteam" and "my clan got mean at me" and "swimming sounds terrible."

sigh... i guess i'll finish this later... i have to go to bed... i wish this game didn't get weirdly bad!!!

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thisdreamplace · 2 years

Note

Hey ... So I'm having this problem that's. Not really a problem. But I just idk. I'm in a very confused phase right now. I kind of had this mild realisation earlier today after reading some of your posts. Like this very small epiphany that yes, I really am god, I really am in charge. But it was more like "ohh, I just need to acknowledge this fact and live in it to fully step into my power and start living the life I want" kinda deal, not an ACTUALLY acknowledging my power, living in it, fully stepping into it kinda deal. I've wanted to go into the void for a while, months actually, and I realised - hey, wtf? This is the law of ASSUMPTION. Just live in your imagination, become totally deluded and convince yourself that you're going to go into the void tonight or that you go into it every time you fall asleep or that it's just ridiculously easy for you to get in. Even if it doesn't happen at first, so what? You're supposed to ignore the 3D and live in the 4D. Just persist in it and, because you're pretty good at manifesting despite your constant spiralling and doubts and questionable self concept, within a few days the 3D will conform and you'll get in. Then you'll set the intention for every single desire you have from your very long list, then you'll shift to one of your fun little DRs and stay there for a few days before coming back to this reality and THEN you'll begin living the life of your dreams and finally enjoying yourself and being happy. It's so simple. Just change your thoughts.

And then I didn't do any of that.

Idk. I don't know why I didn't. It's night right now where I am and in a while I'm going to sleep and I'm going to try to go into the void again and fail because I didn't do any of it and I'm very tired and I don't know what to do and I'm also confused because why am I making this so hard for myself? The void is literally within me. I already have the assumption that it's easy to enter the void and that I'll get in after 5 minutes or less of affirming. I didn't succeed before because I didn't actually try - I got stuck on the part where you're supposed to find a comfortable position to stay still and relax in. I flopped around for hours trying to get comfortable, until eventually I got so tired and frustrated that I said fuck it and went to sleep. This happened a few nights in a row. I have (strongly suspected) ADHD and I fidget a lot, especially at night when I'm laying down and trying to sleep, and it helps me focus and relax. But you're supposed to stay still when affirming for the void so that just sucks. Two nights ago I tried for the void again and for the first time I actually got symptoms - my calves felt like they were floating or expanding and I got really excited, but then I think I just lost focus or something because it stopped and then I lost my momentum. I KNOWW you don't need the void to manifest and trust me, I don't put it on a pedestal or anything (or at least I try not to) and I do believe that it's easy to enter. Just not for me. And I know how to fix it hence the entire first part of this incredibly long and annoying message but for some reason I choose not to. Also it might be worth mentioning I had about two mental breakdowns this week and I've just generally not been feeling the greatest, so that might be having some effect in my manifestations and mindset. In fact the only reason I'm writing this is because I was feeling really bored and depressed and hopeless and I just wanted some advice about ... Literally anything. All I want to do is go to the void, manifest my dream life, and dip. After I get all those things I want, including being cured by what can be considered a disability, I'll finally be happy. That's probably a damaging way to think. But anyway.

What am I doing wrong?

hi. tbh bestie this is kind of going to be tough love bc honestly speaking

you said a lot of things here but what stood out to me the most was this part:

“I KNOWW you don't need the void to manifest and trust me, I don't put it on a pedestal or anything (or at least I try not to) and I do believe that it's easy to enter.”

with all the love, and this isnt just towards you but many others, you need to get real. lol it has me gagged that so many of you sit here sounding like, “life is so hard. im very ugly. no one loves me. im so depressed. my self concept is really good though so like where am i going wrong 💔” like lmfao…….

there’s not one bit of you in this ask that has me convinced that you actually know the things you’re claiming. you don’t need the void, you don’t put it on a pedastal… and yet you send me this ask where you’re obsessed with it. okay…

so let’s just start there. honesty with oneself is the first step. in the law especially, lying to yourself actually never works because like it says in the bible god will not be mocked. this means that you can pretend to be some type of way, but the god within knows what you’re REALLY saying within yourself. don’t be surprised when your real story you believe in keeps showing up in your life.

second thing that stood out to me:

“After I get all those things I want, including being cured by what can be considered a disability, I'll finally be happy. That's probably a damaging way to think. But anyway.”

those who wait for happiness wait forever. because it was always within, it was never a destination. it was always there and they ignored it. i think we try to write things off by pretending we’re acknowledging it “that’s probably a damaging way to think.” no, it actually is the reason why you’re in a self sabotaging doom loop. i’m not really sure what you want ? the law is driven by the self and only the self. either you’re in charge or you’re not. either you take control of your life or you keep thinking the universe may come in and save you. choose one because it simply will never work both ways.

when people come to me honestly, i will truly do what i can to help you no matter how hard it gets. when people come to be complacently, i’m not sure what to do. if you sit here and say you know everything and you just refuse to do it… then… alright. no one said you have to get what you want in life. it is completely optional for some of you. for me though, it’s the only path i see. thats why i stay committed and devoted to myself everyday because i deserve it all. and i know there’s plenty of you out there who feel how i do and wake up everyday to do your best. i do what i need to do to make sure i’m taken care of, because i love me and look out for me. if you’re gonna treat yourself like a second choice, and can’t even be bothered to turn within yourself and be the support you need then… i’m not sure what i could do for you. the law is fully based on self and only the self.

also it’s not always as easy as just flipping thoughts. it works for some people, sure. but that has nothing to do with those of us who it doesn’t work for. lol there’s other paths in this than just flipping thoughts and relying on the void like it’s ur lifeline. so if i was u i would lighten up a little and explore and learn myself and do what actually feels good to me and not what the entire online community is telling me to do.

i think sometimes some of us have actual old stories we have to work thru first. like your choice to just keep doing nothing isn’t just bc. there’s something inside u that is actively making it this hard. i also had this type of similiarity i had once had to sit down with and confront and accept about myself so i could let it go. so yeah. i’m not into the idea that you can just… bypass ur deeply engrained old story. it’ll keep being the place u operate from until u properly acknowledge it and allow urself to shift. note how none of this about force. it’s just about allowing. on my blog u have more than enough advice on how this is done. (pls check #i am and #allowing tags)

anyway i hope this helps you to maybe take on a new perspective and move forward in a way you would want for yourself. sorry it it was ever harsh but i do think its important to share this, for others who can relate to you. 💞

#i am

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moririki · 3 years

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⤷ SAFETY NET

FATGUM & HAWKS X READER -> 1.1K when partnered with another pro hero, expect them to look out for you and have your back when in danger )

REQUEST -> n/a CONTAINS -> pro hero reader, reader falling off a building but not like that, reader thinking they might die for like two seconds in hawks' but they do NOT, fanon hawks(?) kind of im sorry, lazy plot MORI'S THOUGHTS -> idk remember that tiktok trend around january where someone pretends to fall off a building and then make a swift getaway???? yeah it's just that basically

❍ FATGUM

-> "hey, get back here!" you ignored the angry voice, sprinting harder as you made your way to the roof of the building while cursing under your breath

-> when you clocked into work this morning, you didn't expect to be infiltrating a villain's headquarters in order to steal some documents to be on the agenda

-> neither did your partner fatgum

-> you shared an incredulous look before being given directions and a debrief

-> since fatgum was a rescue hero, there was an agreement for him to linger behind as backup while you went inside

-> though your quirk was nowhere near suited to this mission, you were still the better option to do so

-> you spoke into your earpiece quickly as you threw open the door to the roof, getting hit with the fierce wind

-> "you better fucking catch me, toyomitsu," you muttered to yourself, clutching the documents to your chest

-> you ran to the edge of the building, sucking in a deep breath as you saw how high up you were

-> but if you were to squint, you could make out the faint yellow blob that was your partner

-> "i'm right here, y/n," he chirped through the earpiece. "well, i'm a few stories down"

-> despite the adrenaline coursing through you, you giggled a little. you were about to respond when the door to the roof banged open again behind you

-> you turned to see several men, with guns, run out and surround you

-> well, it was now or never

-> "you've got nowhere to run, hero," the ringleader snarled

-> you tried to sound confident, racking your brain for any witty one-liner

-> "maybe not run, but..." you trailed off, raising your hand in a mock salute before steeling your nerves and taking a step back off of the ledge

-> you would have laughed at the way the ringleader's eyes looked like they would boggle out of his head, but the horrifying feeling of freefalling invaded your senses

-> maintaining your death grip on the documents you had risked your life to get, you shut your eyes and curled in on yourself as you braced yourself for any impact

-> sure, fatgum said he was here, but the wind rushing through your hair and the way the roof got further and further away wasn't instilling much confidence in you

-> but after those worst moments of your life, you felt your body hit something soft

-> it happened fast, but one moment you were gaining momentum, and the next you were safely engulfed in the familiar warmth of fatgum

-> his arms were wrapped around you, and you sucked in a breath that you didn't realise that you were holding in

-> you didn't move, just letting your heartbeat return to normal and for your senses to come back

-> you vaguely became aware of the way toyomitsu was patting your head in some attempt to comfort you, and you clung to him gladly

-> "right now, you're probably my favourite person in the entire world." you finally let out a breathless laugh, and you heard the comforting rumble of fatgum's in return

-> "well, i'd be a terrible partner if i didn't catch you. i guess i'd feel bad, too." you giggled as he finally set you down on your own feet, though he still stayed close

-> "now, how about we go get something to eat?" he suggested

-> "you read my mind," you beamed at him

❍ HAWKS

-> when you, two young aspiring heroes, had initially been assigned to work as partners there was a great protest

-> both you and the winged hero were adamant about working best on your own, but it was out of your hands

-> so for the past few months, you adapted to having a partner during your hero work

-> the amount of squabbles that the two of you had over which one of you was the sidekick was exhausting

-> with your quirk being accustomed to land and his to air, it was a bit of a mystery as to how you were supposed to work together

-> but you made it work

-> both of you were extremely capable as heroes, and quickly adapted to each others' quirks

-> there was a reason for you both being placed in the top ten, after all

-> but when hawks wasn't taking down villains, he gave no indication of being ranked 2nd in the country

-> "aw, c'mon, y/n, don't tell me you aren't hungry," he complained

-> "keigo, we aren't going to the fried chicken place"

-> the man almost pouted

-> "why not?"

-> "the last time we went there i had to sit and watch you eat them until you were sucking on the bone. i'd rather not have to see that again, ever"

-> hawks opened his mouth, probably to sulk, when you both heard a some screams from around the corner

-> exchanging a quick look, both of you prepared wordlessly and started to approach the scene

-> from what you could see, there was a villain stood outside of a jewellery store, with several civilians scrambling for cover

-> you couldn't see any major damage, but your eyes widened as you saw how one man in a suit was suddenly launched high into the air by the villain

-> "looks like i'll handle that," hawks muttered, quickly taking flight and catching up to the guy

-> you sprang into action too, helping to evacuate the area while the villain's attention was diverted by your partner's flashy wings

-> you had just ushered a woman to safety when you felt the ground slip away from beneath you and start to shrink as you were flung away at an alarming speed

-> well, fuck, you thought. i guess this is it.

-> as you reached the apex of your trajectory, you felt your stomach drop as you began to return back to earth

-> you felt a bit pathetic as you pictured the headlines- "number three hero dies from being thrown too hard, did nothing to prevent fall"

-> but when the slam of concrete never greeted your body, and an arm wrapped around your waist and jerked you swiftly upwards again, you were reminded just why you had been stuck with a partner

-> "geez, was a bank robber too much to handle for the number 3 hero?" you heard hawks' smartass comment, and you glared at him in return

-> "you really left it until the last second, huh?" you poked his shoulder in annoyance, and felt him laugh as he readjusted his grip

-> "maybe if you agree to go to the chicken place after arresting this guy i won't drop you"

-> "deal"

take a look at the menu - ,, 🍡 ·˚ ༘ ꒱

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space-blue · 2 years

Text

Kenobi thoughts.

It's okay. It's not bad, but it's not great. I'm not sure if it'll end up being good, but it errs dangerously close to being boring and forgettable, right now.

More thought bellow the cut for spoilers.

Why is SW so obsessed with everything being for 6 to 12 year olds?

Why are every bad guy cringe and incompetent? Run into branches and do lame parkour?

Why is the cameraman making Reva pov of grabbing a pipe, cutting in the middle of her assassin creeds backflip to go to a dog-like move? Why is there a minute long cut of Obi-Wan and Leia goofing around while she's doing the cringe parkouring, killing any sense of a chase or momentum?

Why is everyone dressed in sheets and cheap tasteless costumes? I'm not usually one to nitpick costuming, but I'm also not usually one to *notice* it. Grab a tan sheet!! It's trendy!

What about internal consistency?

"the jedi failed you!" Reva says to the people of Tatooine. I beg your pardon? The planet never left Hutt possession. The Jedi were a tool of the Republic. They only came around to scam you and slaughter the locals.

There is so much tell with no show. The grand inquisitor monologues about hunting Jedi to people terrified of him, because as per usual Tatooine is treated not like a remote planet, but the poor neighborhood in a small galactic city.

Why would these people know what inquisitors are? Why would they care about Jedi? And if they know, and care, then why do you feel the need to monologue at them?

Why won't you *show us* that Tatooine is a backwater shit show? Why not open with the inquisitors crashing a slave auction? Why wouldn't the people tell the arrogant goth newcomers to piss off their lawn, only to be cut down? SHOW US dammit. Monologuing to a crowd doesn't count!

Also, if Obi-Wan knows that Vader = Anakin just from hearing the name... erm... how come a stinky little Mos Eisley pub owner can know about inquisitors, but Obi-Wan somehow never heard about *Vader* before? It's been 10 years! Bail works in the Senate, and he came IN PERSON to see you, how is Vader not discussed???

As for Leia, the actress does a great job for being this young. She delivers her lines very well, and she has some really sick burns. Fun! But WHY was she written to go from 14/10 logic to 2/10 just for plot convenience?

She can shame an adult with her sharp words and flawless logic, but when thinking "they kidnapped me to bait you out", her conclusion isn't "he must really be a Jedi then" but "I should totally run under live fire and make this impossible jump there's no way I can land."

Why? And why does Obi-Wan, a grown ass man who raised Anakin and co-raised Ahsoka, somehow fail to catch a 10 yo waddling next to him? Why cut your show the way you did, if you want to make her trotting away realistic?

Why did using the Force look like shitting a brick? Since when does one get so rusty it hurts? Why couldn't they show an emotional/psychological toll, from being instantly outed to all the inquisitors, instead of making it look like he was pulling a tendon flexing a shriveled muscle?

Bail Organa, how easy is it to get into your backyard? Why are the villains all Looney Tunes levels?

It wasn't bad! But it was... Not great. Not riveting. Not breath taking.

Worse, it felt like a short story. Done. I got what the trailer advertised. A Kenobi adventure. I have NO idea what next episode will have, but not in a fun, speculative way. Not "what's next on this journey?" More "Whatever the fuck is this show about then?"

If I weren't a clown platinum member of this circus fandom, IDK if I'd be motivated to come back for more?

Severance had me more edge of my seat than this, two episodes in, and it's about dystopian office work. Like—

Sigh. I'll keep watching. Who knows, it might go towards *good*, but right now it's just watchable. Nothing as bad as BoBF was even 2 episodes in but...

WHO THE FUCK IS SO INTO LAME PARKOUR AT DISNEY??? Can we get them off of this cringe trend? The director of photography CLEARLY doesn't know how to handle it. Just stop!

On the positive side, it was nice to see Breha and Bail... Leia's actress is great... Ewan is handsome, so is Owen. That Clone trooper didn't get the time he deserved and I hope he/others will show up again. Everyone tried their best.... The jawa was cute. Obi calling Leia his daughter was cute.... That's it. Ah, and Order 66 was great again as usual.

Here's to hopping nobody steps on a rake or runs into a fake tunnel next week.

#sw #star wars #kenobi #kenobi show #obi wan kenobi #spoilers #kenobi spoilers

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skzfelixity · 3 years

Note

The request I'm about to do OH HONEY ISTG ITS GOING TO SOUND RIDICULOUS AND STOOPID BUT I'LL TRY (maybe a bit long?) So it's basically a Harry Potter X True beauty (Han Seojun) like the reader who has studied in Hogwarts for a while decides that she also wants to experience like the normal muggle school (the reader is a muggle but never got the chance to like go to the normal school and had to go to Hogwarts) so she starts at they school and like Seojun takes an interest in her and they start dating but Seojun still doesn't know that she is like a witch and one day a situation had come up where the reader was with Seojun and she like HAD to use her wand. She likes starts telling him about her Hogwarts house (mine is Gryffindorput you can pick which everyou want💕), like the wand, potions, flying brooms, Diagonally and stuff. PLEASE THIS REQUEST SOUNDS STUPID BUT IDK WHY I LIKED IT😭

This idea was so creative, it’s not stupid at all! Plus, I love crossovers. I got so excited to write it and I am a gryffindor too! But hear me out, Hufflepuff!Seojun-

Magical Girl | Han Seojun [True Beauty]

Muggle!Seojun x Gryffindor!Muggle Born!Reader | Harry Potter AU

Summary: You decide to leave hogwarts and attend a school full of muggles. Meeting a very interesting muggle, you find yourself falling for him. No one knew about your secret until you had to help your boyfriend.

Warnings: none

You liked Hogwarts, you really did. Your friends, teachers and the places were amazing but you felt the need to attend a muggle school before graduating. It would be your 6th year if you didn’t leave. Your parents were so glad to have you back, you could spend everyday together. They didn’t have the chance to see you grow, at least they will be by your side for the rest of your school years. You missed them too and the friends you’ve lost since you left for Hogwarts.

You used to meet up with your old friends from elementary school when you came back home for holidays but after your 3rd year you stopped talking to each other. No particular reason, it’s normal for friends to drift away without realising it. According to your parents, they didn’t live here anymore so you surely had no one familiar to look forward to.

The day to go to school quickly came. You wore your Gryffindor scarf around your neck, it felt weird not wearing your usual robe that you were so fond of. Well there’s always Haloween for that, don’t worry. Your wand was inside your right boot, there was a risk of it breaking but you took it anyway. You weren’t going to leave the wand alone at home, that’s way more dangerous than having it with you.

You made your way through the hallway, girls and boys stepping aside for you to walk pass them. You didn’t really pay attention to their looks of jealousy and admiration since you were too caught up in the thought of your backpack being heavy. You didn’t really need to carry a bag at Hogwarts so this was new to you as well. Seojun, who was munching on his milk bread, wondered what all this fuss was about.

“Did you see the new girl?”

“Yeah, she is really pretty!”

New girl? He got his hopes up at the mention of a new student. He had been waiting for a girl who would finally interest him, could this be his lucky day? Nah, he told himself to not overreact but when he saw you, oh god, butterflies. His stomach did a double back flip twice. You were for sure the prettiest girl he had laid his eyes on.

He complained to his mom yesterday about not liking anyone from school, coincidence? I think not.

He rushed to you, fashion model catwalk and hands in his pockets. “Hello there,” he smirked at your surprised face. Well, you didn’t expect anyone to talk to you that fast. You got nervous because someone talked to you, that someone was a guy, a really tall and handsome guy. You managed to greet him back, your hands gripping tightly on your backpack, which seemed to be getting heavier and heavier.

Seojun obviously noticed how uncomfortable you were and got the backpack off your shoulders in order to slide it to his shoulder, “Let me help.”

Taken aback by his kindness, you stopped walking. Seojun panicked when he didn’t see you walking beside him, too afraid that he invaded your personal space. He needed to play it cool though.

“Oh right, I didn’t introduce myself,” he turned to you and gave you a small smile, “Han Seojun.”

You stepped closer to him, shaking the hand he had out for you, “Y/N L/N.”

“Nice scarf, by the way.” You thanked him with a shy grin. The scarf meant a lot more to you than he knew and you didn’t expect anyone to compliment you on it. Everyone was more focused on your face but he wasn’t and that was what made him stand out. You led the way, letting him carry your bag until you reach your classroom.

“My desk is that one in the back. No one is sitting on my right so,” He winked at you as he handed you your bag. You thought that wink was the hottest and cutest thing combined. You were too affected by it to hear the teacher entering and calling your name, “Y/N?”

Your head snapped at the teacher’s direction, your cheeks turning pink. Seojun chuckled at you, he noticed the affect his wink had on you and noted to try it again later.

You ended your speech, everyone clapped and told you how pretty you looked. You sat in the back, next to Seojun. You turned to look at him, only to find him looking at you already. “What?”

He shook his head and looked at the board ahead of him. There was just something different about you, he could feel it. He wanted to find out what that something was and get to know you better. Great, you’re stuck with a goofy simp.

You found yourself falling for him and you started pushing him away once you realised. Dating a muggle was something that you never had to worry about but now you were stressing over it. It wasn’t like he liked you back, he had a lot of people that would love to hang out with him but he chose you. He walked you home almost everyday, he ate lunch with you, he bought you snacks and he was always by your side. These were enough to assume that he had a crush on you.

You looked at him as he fooled around with Chorong in the hallway. You definitely have a crush on this boy too but you were scared at the thought of dating him. You were different from others and dating a muggle was more difficult than it sounded.

You needed to know if he really liked you though. The question was bothering your chest, maybe because you liked him a lot. You dragged him away from his friends, finding somewhere quiet to talk.

“What are you doing?” Seojun raised an eyebrow at you. You never approached him so it felt weird, he always talked to you first. Let’s just say his heart was about to explode. You slammed him on the wall, making his eyes widen. He couldn’t have done something to make you mad. Then why did you seem mad?

Your expression softened, realising that you didn’t dragged him here to use avada kedavra on him but to ask him if he liked you.

“Do you like me?” You looked into his eyes, watching him relax as the question fell out of your mouth.

“You scared me, I thought I did something wrong!” He let out a sigh of relief and placed a hand on his heart. You must have been a little intimidating but you couldn’t help it. The whole thought of liking and dating him had been eating you away for some weeks now. You were angry at the fact that you couldn’t be completely open with your significant other. That’s why you avoided him, you didn’t want to have feelings for him.

“And yes, I like you,” he admitted as if it wasn’t a big deal. With your assumptions proved right, you turned to leave. One part of you wanted to stay and ask him out but the othert told you to run away. However, Seojun stopped you from doing so, “I know you don’t like me back but you shouldn’t just leave like that.”

You froze and turned to face him. He really thought that you didn’t like him, that was your plan anyway. You managed to keep your feelings to yourself but it didn’t feel right. Pushing all of the fears and doubts aside, you impulsively decided to tell him how you felt too. It would only be fair if you were as honest as you could be with him, “I actually like you too.”

He didn’t believe what he heard. All the time you pushed him away, told him to leave you alone and not bother you meant that you liked him? He didn’t understand other people’s feelings anyway but that was far away than what your actions told him.

You started dating, spending more time together. Dating him wasn’t as hard as it seemed before, he was a gentleman after all. Your worries grew bigger though, what if he found out that you were a witch? What if he found out and break up with you? You had to push those thoughts away to be able to enjoy time with him. You should focus on him, you will worry when the time comes.

You were walking home from school, hand in hand. You were talking about your day and how boring classes were when you heard a cat meowing. You tried to find where the sound came from. Seojun nudged your side and pointed at a tree near you, a white cat was stuck on a branch. “Should we call-”

“Don’t bother, I can save it,” Seojun walked to the tree with you following behind him. When he was about to climb up the tree, you grabbed his shoulder, “It’s dangerous, you will get hurt.”

“it’s okay, I got it,” he started climbing up the tree, which was a kinda tall one. As he was about to grab the branch, his other hand slipped. You were prepared with your wand behind your back, there was no way he would climb up there safely.

“Arresto Momentum!” You yelled out with your wand in hand. Seojun was prepared to hit the ground but he didn’t feel anything. He opened his eyes to see that the ground was a few inches away from him. “I got it my ass,” you let him down slowly, making sure to not hurt him. Seojun’s eyes were wide open and they landed on the wand in your hand. “How did you do that?”

“I am a witch,” you straight up told him. There was no point in finding excuses, he saw everything after all. As he took his time to process what you said, you rescued the cat using your wand.

“A w-witch?” He didn’t say anything for a long time so you expected him to run away but you were far wrong from it.

“That’s so cool! Can you teach me too?” He stood up from the ground and ran to you. You chuckled at him, relieved that he wasn’t weirded out or frightened by you. You had been worrying for nothing. “I can’t teach you dumbo, I can tell you about the world of magic though.”

He nodded his head enthusiastically and sat under the tree that the cat was stuck on a few minutes ago. You sighed and sat down, this was going to be a long evening.

“Letters to attend Hogwarts, the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry are sent to kids who are considered magical when they reach the age of 11. Neither my mother or my father are wizards so we were really confused when I received mine. They were reluctant to let me go there but I ended up going. I don’t regret it even though I spent all my years there apart from holidays, I learnt a lot.”

Seojun was carefully listening at you, curious about the new world he had learned about. “You lived there?”

“Yes, Hogwarts is divided into 4 houses. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. I am a Gryffindor!” You smiled proudly at the memories with your friends and all the wins in Quidditch your house had got. “Each house has its own colour, animal and values.”

“Which house would I be in?” Seojun asked you, the excitement in his eyes was so clear. You had known him for a while now and you have thought about his Hogwarts house a lot. “Most likely Hufflepuff,” even though you weren’t the sorting hat, you were sure Hufflepuff would be his house. “It values loyalty, justice, patient and hard work. Its colours are canary yellow and black.”

“I would love to go to Hogwarts, it sounds like an amazing place!”

“It really is. There is also Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. Diagon Alley is a shopping area. There are restaurants, shops and you can get all the supplies you need for Hogwarts from there. Hogsmeade is a village, where we go for our school trips. It has everything your stomach desires! I love the sweets there.” You laughed at the memory of one of your friends stuffing their mouth with sweets from Zonko’s Joke and having a stomachache the next day.

“Do you think I can go there?” He asked definitely hoping for a positive answer. He sulked as you shook your head, “Muggles are not allowed.”

“Muggles?” He frowned at the foreign word, liking the way it sounded.

“Normal people, we call you muggles.”

“Aren’t you a muggle too?” His question brought back the memories of others asking you if you were a muggle born. You sometimes envied halfbloods and purebloods. They didn’t have to get teased for being who they are. “I am considered a muggle born.”

He stayed silent as he noticed your change in mood, he will remember to question you later. He desperately tried to find something else to ask so you wouldn’t be thinking about it any longer.

“Do you really fly with brooms?” He was pretty sure that the flying broomsticks was a myth but he couldn’t find something better to ask. Better laugh at him than being upset.

“Yeah, they didn’t let us transport with them in school.” He widen his eyes, so it wasn’t a myth? He was shocked that people for once were right for something they hadn’t seen.

“What a bummer, I bet it would be nice to move around in a broom.” He won’t tell you but he used to ride brooms when he was little, pretending that he was flying. You agreed with him, it would make your feet hurt less for sure. “Can you show me a spell?”

“Someone might see, idiot!” you reminded him and playfully smacked the back of his head. There was no doubt that if he was a wizard, he would have been caught by muggles.

“Right... tell me about your favourite spells then,” he still wanted to learn about spells even though you couldn’t perform them.

“Well I have a lot. There is Lumos, a charm that illuminates the tip of the caster's wand, allowing the caster to see in the dark. There is also the levitation spell, a charm used to make objects fly. I like amortenia, it’s not a spell but a potion. It’s a love potion and it smells differently to people according to who they are attracted to.” You felt so proud being able to explain so much about magic. When you first started learning, you never imagined you would be explaining these to someone.

“Can you make the potion? So we can smell each other...” You laughed at his ears getting red. “I don’t think we need it but I can try,” you caressed his cheek as he blushed more.

“Can I see your wand?” You nodded and handed him your wand. You wouldn’t give it to anyone but you trusted him enough to not break it, he isn’t Ron Weasley. “Do you need wands to cast spells?”

“Not really. However, casting a spell without a wand requires a lot more concentration so we use wands a lot.” You remembered the time when you tried to cast a spell without your wand and made everyone in the room disappear. You never tried it again.

“Are you really fine with me being a witch?” You asked him as he handed you back your wand. He gave you a small smile, “Of course, why would I not be?”

“I don’t know...”

He really liked you, the fact that you were a witch wouldn’t stop him from being with you. “If anything, I like you more now!”

You held his hand and you both stood up to leave. In the end, you had nothing to worry about. He still liked you the same, no changes in his behaviour. Loving this certain muggle definitely made your life easier.

“Do you think our kids will get their letters for Hogwarts?”

“Probab- OUR WHAT?”

#true beauty #true beauty kdrama #seojun #han seojun #han seojun x reader #seojun x reader #hwang inyeop #inyeop

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anerdyfeminist · 2 years

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My Feb-April (maybe May? And on?) this year are strangely busy...IDK how to live like this anymore, I'm already spent 😅

My 2020 SXSW badge got deferred to this year (in early 2021, we had to guess if we thought we'd want to do in '22 or '23, so here we are!) I'll be doing the film fest w/ Ronald for the next week and this is all so fucking weird...but also good? I guess? Like today is the very day 2 years ago when I officially began to take the pandemic seriously because SX was officially canceled. I simultaneously I feel like I've time traveled 2 years from that moment to this one to do the fest that never was but also like it was the longest 2 years of my life getting here. I'm just rambling because this is all surreal.

The really sad part is that we bought these badges way back when because Ronald had several industry meetings set up for his next project (when people were going to be in town anyway.) And all of his hopes for that situation vanished before our very eyes. So now we're just doing SX film fest stuff for funsies, I guess? I know that the pandemic took much more important things from the world than the momentum in my partner's career coming off his very successful festival run in 2019 for his feature, but all of this just has got me feeling feelings today.

#personal #this is not a post to re b l og thanksss #mine #likes/comments always welcome

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sweetestlamb · 3 years

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Unexpected

Summary: Accidental relationships are the worst.

Author's note: A silly little drabble(it's like 5k so idk if it's a drabble lol) I created based on an image @prodmina made for me, this is not related to BMTL at all-it's just a side dish I'm offering to my Junjin lovers. A few days ago we both noticed that these two don't really get much fluff without some angst(I'm guilty of this too so no judgement just an observation) Hence this was created, it's just a one-shot because this idea wouldn't leave my mind. This community is well fed but here's some more food for the hungry. And yes my page break this time is Sujin's sexy leg, I have no regrets.

They've been in the same school for as long as she can remember, her striving to be the best student only second to one and him seemingly showing up to drool on the nearest surface and give the female population heart palpitations. She's thankfully not one of his victims- having actual standards and a fully functional hippocampus; ergo while most girls are drawing hearts on their notebooks with Han Seojun opposite their name, she is turning her nose up at them judging them for their lack of foresight. A pretty face would only last for so long.

They stay out of each other's way, the only thing they have in common is Lee Suho- her childhood friend of many years and his best friends despite their varied differences. She and Suho haven't been spending much time together ever since she moved out with her mother, but he was still one of her oldest friend and someone she cared about. Long story short, they both spent years imprisoned with a monster and now they were free.

Her life was looking brighter, more technicolor and staying away from a thug like Han Seojun was only adding to its quality.

Which is why she's dumbfounded when they run into each other, at the most inopportune of time. She's walking home after her academy classes, being a pediatrician isn't going to be child's play and she has to take every possible advantage to make her dreams a reality. Without her father’s money backing her she has to accomplish this with her own merits, she is looking forward to proving him wrong.

Airpods in, she doesn't notice the group stalking her until it's too late. One by one they begin to surround her, leering at her body like she's a piece of meat on display- it makes the hairs on the nape of her neck raise in trepidation and disgust.

"Isn't it too late for a pretty girl like you to be wandering all alone outside?" The one she assumes is the leader croons, voice dripping in faux concern as he rubs his hands resembling a villian out of a 1940′s comic book.

She immediately begins to catalog how many of them there are, strategizing the best way to take them down. Fifteen of them. She can't fight them all, the best she can do is distract a few and make a run for it.

"Isn't it too early for vermin like you to be wandering the streets?" She replies snidely, rolling her eyes when they all whistle at her jab. This is such a pathetic end to her day, it's honestly beneath her.

"I'll make you regret that comment, you bitch!" Already with the name calling, this guy really was a cartoon villian and he couldn't even construct something creative to call her. instead choosing the most generic insult in the book. With a sigh she moves into a fighting position, fists raised guarding her face and legs apart.

"Let's just get this over with, you're sucking up all the air with that snout you call a nose." All she sees is his sneer and eyes huge in rage before he lunges at her, his movements are so predictable and she sidesteps kicking at the back of his knee swiftly. Then she grabs another arm that comes flying at her face cruelly twisting and flipping him over her body, his groan of pain music to her ears. She easily taking them out without breaking much of a sweat, she had been fighting since she was young and they were all clearly not trained fighters, just bumbling idiots playing gangster.

But then she hears the cold metallic click of a knife uncoiling. A shiver races down her spine. They really were low-lives, she hadn’t expected them to actually pull out a weapon.

"You need a knife to take on one girl? Can you even call yourself a gang?" The words are exactly the ones that are in her brain but she's not the one who utters them, a new voice has entered the fray. A familiar voice at that.

This day just keeps getting worst.

"Han Seojun, how about you mind your business we found her first she's ou--"

The rodent looking asshole never gets to finish his sentence as her leg comes flying at his face as she executes a perfect roundhouse kick, slicing through the air and landing devastating blow on his cheek sending him flying to the ground in a heap.

"Damn Sujin! And you call me a thug! I think you killed him." Seojun cries sputtering in disbelief motioning at the motionless body on the ground but she notes the impressed raise of his eyebrow. Like she needs him approval.

While the rest of the band of idiots are helping up their leader she realizes this is her chance, without a word to Seojun she takes off running. Easily jumping over one of her fallen attackers and stepping on his shoulder for momentum, he cries at her harsh treatment.

Turning back she sees Seojun deck a guy in the face knocking him out before he starts chasing after her, his long legs eating up the gap between them in no time, she's temporarily grateful that he's not the one chasing her the damn beanpole.

"Are you secretly a ninja or something?" She snorts at his terrified face, chucking when he keeps looking waiting for an answer as if he truly believes she might be. Nosy idiot.

"If I tell you, I'll have to kill you." She answers straight faced, watching as horror blossoms on his face and her musical laughter saturates the streets as she runs faster, he shakes his head at her smirking in reply.

It's the beginning of the end, but she had no idea.

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Somehow it becomes the catalyst they need to break the seal between them, she expects everything to go back to its rightful place- them ignoring the other’s presence as they've always done and only speaking when they had something rude to say, their normal. But as she's walking in the hallway she hears him shouting her name behind her, immediately all eyes in the hallway dart to them.

"Kang Sujin! Yah! I'm talking to you!" He garners the attention of everyone in the vicinity and she turns around, annoyance purposely all over her face. He needs to know that she is not amused with him.

"Yeah, people across town can hear you. What do you want?"

"Are you calling me loud?" He cries defiantly, obnoxiously even louder than before. The smirk on his face letting her know that it’s intentional, she aches to kick it off his face.

"Is the sky blue?" She sarcastically responds, waiting for him to catch up as they walk side by side.

"A better analogy to use would be is Han Seojun handsome?" She gags as he starts posing with a finger under his chin, in the distance she can hear high pitched squeals of his name.

She picks up her pace, regretting even giving him a moment of her time. She must have lost her mind for a moment, it wouldn’t happen again.

"No wonder you're single. Who could compete with your love for yourself? I have something to do so I'll leave first." She doesn't wait for his response, leaving to do nothing but that's none of his business.

But it doesn't end there, they just keep orbiting into each other. Their groups converging at lunch and when the boys are having a heated argument about who's the best character on Dragon Ball Z, they both passionately shout out "Vegeta!!" In unison making everyone turn to face them in shock that they've agreed on something. They stare at each other as flabbergasted before Seojun pushes his hand out, palm flat and expectant look on his face.

She simply stares back blankly, considering leaving him hanging just to see that stupid offended look he always gets around her but in the end she slaps her hand firmly against his, at least he was smart enough to know that Saiyan prince was the best.

Clap!

"Someone mark it on a calendar! Seojun and Sujin agreed on something!" Su-ah exclaims clapping her hands and smiling brightly, they both argue when several members at the table pull out their phones to commemorate the special occasion. She wrestles with Jukyeong, who's surprisingly strong and breaks free from her hold while sticking her tongue out.

"You're all so annoying!" They both explode again simultaneously, Seojun hanging off Chorong's arm as he tries to confiscate his phone, she glares at him for giving them another reason to laugh at them and Su-ah cheerily calls out, "Add that to the calendar too, they're so in sync!"

It's the worst lunch of her life, she kicks Seojun under the table. This was all his fault. Glaring when he kicks her back and they end up kicking each other until the period ends, oblivious to the stares around them.

🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵��🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼🦵🏼

At the end of the day she's eager to go home and do nothing, which is exactly when she feels someone tugging at her backpack forcefully dragging her backwards.

"Yah! Let go of me!" She cries out, slipping her arms out of her bag and turning around in a fighting position.

"At ease super soldier, it's just me." He replies as if that means anything, but she does lower her fists; marginally. To let him know she's ready to go at any minute.

"What do you want now?" She grumbles peering up at him and when he turns walking away with her backpack still in his arms, she chases after for that reason alone.

"I'm going to the arcade. They have the new Dragon Ball Z game."

She should go home and study, she promised herself she would review her notes from class today. She couldn't afford to slack off if she wanted a good life after all.

She opens her lips to say all of this, to remind him that they can't all be pretty boy models like him some of them actually had to work for a living but instead she hears, "Fine. You're buying me something to eat."

He begrudgingly agrees after complaining, "Aren't you rich? Why do I have to buy you food?" She skips off ignoring his rationale, only stopping when she sees his motorcycle parked in the lot. She's always wanted to ride a motorcycle.

"Let's take your bike." She says confidently, not leaving him any room to refuse.

He looks at her unimpressed before a cheeky smile spreads across his face, "You've always wanted to ride with me huh? Do you have dreams about it at night?" He teases her and she lazily watches him before walking up to him, looking directly into his eyes. He unconsciously takes a step back and she smirks, stepping closer again.

" Are you nervous? Scared I might really be having dreams about you?" She watches his Adam's apple bob apprehensively before smacking him quickly on his cheek, he jolts in surprise.

"You wish pretty boy. Now get the keys, I don't have all day."

He gulps before snapping back to reality, wordlessly starting his bike.

The entire school watches as they ride off together, her arms wrapped tight around his waist the wind whipping through her hair. She's never felt anything so exhilarating.

Their lives become entangled, it's the only way to describe it somewhat accurately. She goes to his house for weekly dinners and sometimes her mom comes too, his mom is a great cook while hers can barely boil water. It's a win-win scenario. They also study together, his grades aren't horrific but they could be better. There isn't much ceremony, he stomps over telling some boy he needs that seat and she watches as the poor kid scrambles, grabbing all his book and running away apologizing the entire way.

"You have good grades right?" He says matter-of-fact less of a question and more of a statement before he pulls out actual textbooks from his bag. She rolls her eyes before nodding and turning back to her own studies. They study every Tuesday and Wednesday, he's always on time and treats her to tteokbokki. so she allows this transgression.

She knows immediately why he asked for help when she sees his math test magnetized to his refrigerator door, big red A- circled. His mother brags about his score all throughout dinner, even cheering for her when Seojun informs her that she got an A+ on the same assignment. They both blush as she gushes about how smart they are.

When the nightmares get too realistic and she can’t handle it alone anymore, he drops her off to therapy sessions and brings her to the gym after so she can release all her anger on a punching bag. He never asks her what's wrong but he drops her home after and the silence is comfortable between them.

They both never mention their dads but she goes to the cemetery with him and stands quietly as he pays his respect and takes him to get ice cream after, the dinner with his family after is somber but she wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

They never discuss what exactly is going on between them, they're just there for each other and that's enough.

At least she thought it was.

It's stupid but ever since they became...closer he's been getting more confessions than usual even for him they pour down like rain. Multiple girls a day sometimes as if they took numbers and decided to go in order, she dodges them at every turn but there's always a tinge in her chest and she contemplates going to the nurse because there must be something medically wrong with her.

She can barely taste the fried pork as she watches another girl shuffle over to their table, giant red heart box pressed tight against her chest as she approaches Seojun. His friends all notice and are chanting his name, elbowing and shouldering him excitedly.

“Han Seojun! Han Seojun!”

Su-ah suddenly places a warm hand on her knee, she looks at her in shock. Fear gripping at her as the other girl stares at her with gentle comforting eyes. She pushes the hand away. She doesn’t need comfort, she is fine. Fine.

Her throat tightens as the confession starts.

"Han Seojun, I-I've liked you since last year. Willyougooutwithme?" This isn't new, they usually lose their nerve at the end sputtering out their feelings all over him. She never sticks around long enough to hear his answers, but this time she has no choice; if she leaves that would be suspicious. It would give people the wrong impression.

She swallows her blueberry milk, he'd tossed it at her this morning saying he bought the wrong one. Coincidentally that was her favorite. It taste like chalk now on her tongue.

"Sorry, I'm not interested." He answers truly sounding apologetic, she shifts in her seat, pointedly staring at her food. Stifling her smile by stuffing cold noodles into her mouth.

There is a long silence as the cafeteria watches, all waiting for the girl’s reaction. Usually there are tears, loud wailing cries and pleading for another chance, but sometimes they are silent as they walk off heartbroken, friends waiting to soothe them.

The girl sighs, but unlike the others who usually scurry away, she speaks again, "Can I ask why? Do you already like someone?"

A thrumming energy fills the room following her question, girls all looking around at each other, preening hopeful that they've captured the heart of the resident bad boy. She just wants this uncomfortable moment to end already, it's giving her indigestion.

"Yes. I like someone."

It feels like a sledgehammer to her chest, ignoring Su-ah's hand clutching at hers she stands up grabbing her tray. Nobody pays her any mind besides her two best friends, she weakly smiles at them, "I'm all done. I'm gonna head to the library I'll see you both later."

She tosses out her tray viciously, forcing herself not to look back.

Avoiding him isn't easy, he's always there waiting for her or texting her to ask why she isn't coming over for dinner because his mother made her favorite. She's never lied to him before but she finds herself doing just that, feigning illnesses and late night classes. Which only results in him offering to bring her soup and give her a ride to said classes. Like she said their lives were for lack of a better word, entangled.

But she sticks to it, keeping her distance from him as she tries to understand why exactly she's doing this. He's her friend she should be happy that he likes someone, he was an idiot but it was probable that the feeling was mutual. He would finally have a girlfriend, someone to fill the spot she had been temporarily occupying. Someone he could bring home for dinners and someone to accompany him at his father's grave. Someone to talk to late at nights when he had a nightmare about losing his family and couldn’t fall asleep. Someone, not her.

"I'm happy for him. I should be feeling sorry for the poor girl he likes." She whispers to herself, aimlessly scrolling on her phone. Instagram has been a great source of distraction lately. As soon as she opens the app she sees a red dot pop up, a notification. She taps it seeing that she's been tagged in a photo, then another notification pops up and another and another and they start coming in too quickly for her to keep up.

"What the hell?" She admonishes aloud, clicking randomly on one of the notifications ready to see what's causing such an uproar.

It's a picture of her.

She remembers the day clearly, Seojun had forced her to go with him to a new diner that specialized in American cuisine, all so he could stuff his face with pancakes. She had no clue he'd taken a picture of her. Something that feels butterflies flutters in her stomach as she reads his caption.

How do you get a princess to forgive you?

Was this some kind of joke? What the hell was he thinking? She bulks at all the likes and comments on the photo after only two hours, she'd never gotten that much attention on a photo but she rarely posted pictures of her face. There were a lot of creeps online.

Nervously she taps to view the comments, it's a mixed bag of reactions. Girls she's never met before cursing her very existence as if she's a threat to their imaginary relationship with him and the very same creeps that caused her not to post selfies on her page posting disgusting sexual comments.

She instinctively taps to reply to rip them to shreds before she realizes that Seojun has already replied to every comment from a guy, threatening them explicitly and a few comments are even accusing him of deleting comments. There are a few comments calling her pretty but those are few and far in between and usually they are attacked in their replies by other jealous fan girls.

Anger bubbles in her gut, what the fuck was he thinking posting a picture of her for all these vipers to see?

Impulsively she taps the screen harshly, fingers flying across her keyboard.

Delete this now. Are you insane? Who are you calling a princess?!

Almost immediately she regrets her rash decision as comments flood in.

How dare you talk to oppa like that?

Oppa see she doesn't deserve you!

Who is this snotty bitch?

You're not pretty enough to be this stuck up honestly, no offense.

You should be happy a hot guy is posting you, ungrateful.

She's tempted to reply to each comment, who did think they were talking to, she wasn't some pushover, let's see if they would have this much gall to say this to her face. She'd taken on a gang of would be thugs, she had no problem beating some sense into some bitches.

But they're not worth her time or energy.

Swiping the app close, she takes a calming breath. Counting to three. Then five. Then ten. Then twenty. When her anger is nothing but a low thrum beneath her skin, she opens her contacts going to get favorites and clicking his name, bringing her phone to her ears.

"Finished ignoring me princess?" He answers smoothly, sounding far too relaxed for all the trouble he's caused. She wants to wring his neck.

"Have you lost your mind?" She cuts to the chase, huffing angrily as her phone buzzes with more notification. "Han Seojun you better delete that picture right now!"

"You've been ignoring my calls and texts and pretending you don't see me at school. What else was I supposed to do?" She can hear the strain in his voice, but he doesn't sound angry, no that's his hurt voice.

"I've just been busy. You didn't need to do something this... extreme."

He scoffs, clearly not believing her excuse. It sounds weak to even her own ears, they'd gotten too close they made time for each other, doing the most mundane things together, he even helped her clean her house sometimes and she would regularly help him shop for groceries.

"Come open your door. I think we need to talk."

He hangs up after his statement, leaving her to stare at her phone in shock.

"That little piece of shit." She curses, running a hand through her hair before she hops out of bed, running to open her apartment door. She slows down as she nears the door, not wanting him to think her too eager. She's not.

Running her hand through her hair again, she slowly pulls open the door. A breath swooshes through her lips at the sight of him, she's been avoiding him so much it's overwhelming to be staring at him directly like this.

They stare at each other, the air unexpectedly charged between them as their gazes meet.

"It's rude to leave someone standing outside." He quips finally, pressing past her before she can reply to his complaint, she huffs in annoyance stepped aside to give him entry.

Familiarly he toes off his boots, putting on the slippers her mom had purchased for him after his presence became more constant. Then he strides across the small space of her living room, sitting on her couch and glancing at her expectantly. She closes her door with a sigh, walking over and sitting in the single love seat. He stares at her hard. She struggles to keep his gaze.

"What did I do? Whatever it is, I'm sorry. If you tell me what it is, I probably won't do it again."

She's so taken back by his immediate apology that she stupidly focuses on the least important word in the sentence, "Probably?"

He shrugs in reply, "I like pushing your buttons. You like it too. So I can’t make promises until I know what I did.”

She can't argue with his assessment, they did have a very unusual relationship built on mutual sarcasm and backhanded compliments. They both were masters of never truly saying what they were thinking or feeling, too scared of rejection to make the final jump of fate. So they just kept crashing into each other, prodding and poking without recognizing why.

"I'm not mad at you." She admits, she has no reason to be upset. He hadn't done anything besides like someone else, that wasn't a crime. Unless the judge was her heart and then he had committed the most heinous of crimes.

"Then why are you avoiding me?" The crux of it all, she was avoiding him because he forced her to acknowledge the secret she'd kept so hidden even she was unaware of it until it hit her over the head.

"Why do you care so much?" She counters defensively, feeling naked under his penetrating stare.

He laughs coldly, "Answering my question with a question. Never took you for a coward Kang Sujin."

She bristles at the snide remark, who was he to call her a coward?

"If I'm a coward why are you here? Why post my picture on your Instagram? Don't you like someone, why are you here bothering me!" She hisses at him, each word gradually increasing in volume until she's screaming at his blank face. Then he starts laughing, pure unhindered laughter from his belly that stings her ears. She made herself too obvious.

"Aren't you supposed to be smart?"

"What do you mean by tha-" He cuts her off before she can finish shouting, "How do you not know that I was talking about you?"

Her voice drains like water slipping down a sink as she hears the words he said, she blinks before her mouth falls open in shock.

"Was I really letting you tutor me? What was I thinking?" He laments to the ceiling, mocking her but she's too riled up now already climbing out of her seat and striding over to him. He jolts backwards as she places her hands on his shoulders, searching his face and delighting at his wide eyes before climbing into his lap. He wheezes but his hand immediately latch onto her hips. She stares at him closely, eyes trailing from his hypnotic eyes, down to his lifted pert nose and lingering on his full plush lips.

"You like me." She states, watching how his eyes flutter shut before landing on her own lips.

"I thought it was very clear. Who else could I have been talking about, I spend all my time with you."

He's right, they did spend a lot of time together prior to her self-preserving decision to avoid him like the plague. She hadn't realized when her feelings for him had changed, thinking they were simply friends the entire time. A friend that she thought about constantly, who she wanted to spend all her time with and sometimes she's idly imagine kissing or holding his hand. She certainly hasn't expected anything.

But here he was offering. She wasn’t a good enough person to turn it down.

"I'm going to kiss you. Stop me if you don't want that." She states boldly, now that she knows this is on the table, he's on the table she is practically starving and all her doubts have transformed into the desire, the desire to touch and be touched. He glances at her, his patented 'are you stupid?' stare and she laughs before smashing their lips together. It's hard and a little uncomfortable, with their lips just roughly pressed together and she wonders if they're doing it right before his hands stroke her cheeks, tilting her head as he slows down the kiss until it's sweeter and softer and oh, is that his tongue? He swipes at her sealed lips and she only hesitates for a moment before slowly opening and allowing him entrance.

This takes the kiss to another level, as her head swims at his flavor- something spicy and earthy irrevocably Seojun that she finds addicting and she eagerly sticks her tongue into his mouth, licking at his moist cavern. Wet smacks fill the air as they suck at each other's face, his large hands nearly circling her waist entirely she shivers at the touch, feeling small and delicate in his arms. He reaches up a hand to caress her hair and she mimics the move, pushing her hand through his thick hair tugging at the end of his mullet. When they break apart, panting into each other's mouths she feels like her soul has been set ablaze.

"Since you're so smart I guess I don't have to tell you how I feel." She says trying to regain her composure and her breath, her lungs feel winded like she's run a marathon.

"Of course not. Everyone likes me, you're no exception." He replies cockily and she groans in exaggerated disgust pushing him away and clamoring out of his lap, but he tightens his grip with a deep chuckle easily manhandling her until they are laying on her couch, her back to his front. His breath is hot on her neck.

"My mom will be home soon, we can't stay like this." She warns reaching back to move his arm which is digging into her back, dragging his arm over her waist and squirming until she's comfortable.

"I know. We still have an hour. She's working overtime tonight."

Of course he knows her mom's schedule, she tries to smother her smile. She fails but nobody seems so she'll take it as a partial victory.

He reaches over her, grabbing the remote before switching on Netflix and putting on a movie they'd started before but never finished because she had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He had complained about her drooling on his favorite sweater the next day at school, as she shushed him and people looked over at the odd pair.

"You're gonna delete that picture right?" She asks, only barely focused on the movie too distracted by his warmth behind her. She has to smother a moan when he starts stroking aimlessly on her waist. His fingertips igniting her skin in a warm burn that travels to her heart and lower.

"Humph why can't I have a picture of my girlfriend on my page?"

She turns around immediately, "Girlfriend? Who said anything about that," she rebuttals watching his eyes narrow until they're barely slits. She doesn't hate that look on him.

"You kiss someone who isn't your boyfriend like that?" She blushes at him mentioning that, the kiss still very vivid in her mind, her lips still tingling.

"Shut up." She huffs punching him in the chest, but he catches her hand and yanks her close until they're chest to chest, noses almost touching, lips a hair's breadth apart.

"I'm going to kiss my girlfriend, stop me if you don't want it." He echoes her earlier words, gripping the back of her head as he stares at her a clear challenge, smirking when she doesn't move away before he devours her lips again. She groans around his tongue in her mouth, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as their lips slide wetly against each other.

When the jingle of keys sound several minutes later, she tumbles off the couch frantically as her mom pushes the door open. She wipes her lips, before looking up at Seojun; he looks wrecked- hair tussled and sticking up in different directions, his cheeks are burning red looking hot to the touch and his lips are sore and wet. Her heart does a somersault in her chest at the sight.

Fuck. That's my boyfriend.

She lets him keep the photo on his account in the end, it keeps the hungry fan girls away and guys leave her alone for the most apart. She ignores his smirk when he sees her comment under the photo.

To everyone who has something to say, Han Seojun is mine. If you have a problem with that, come say it to my face.

Nobody ever comes to say it to her face.

“You’re cute when you’re jealous princess.” He teases her, and she scoffs at him, “You’re one to talk, didn’t you almost get into a fist fight today because someone commented that they wanted to ‘tap that’?”

He growls at the memory of that, only the principal strolling in had stopped him.

“You guys are perfect for each other, both deadly and gorgeous.” Su-ah adds gleefully pushing her way between them and linking arms on both sides.

She pushes his hand away when he immediately reaches for her, “Yah! Give me back my girlfriend!” He whines desperately trying to circumvent Su-ah and grab her hand, whining loudly about third wheels and people trying to get in the way of true love.

She’ll never get tired of hearing that.

She was Han Seojun's girlfriend and he was her boyfriend, everyone could stay mad.

#true beauty #true beauty kdrama #han seojun #kang sujin #junjin #junjin superiority #the power they hold #I would kill for a season 2 focused on them #fluff #first kiss #park yoona #hwang inyeop #idiots to usdiots

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survivor-all-stars-blog · 7 years

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EP 9: “I'll Be a Fucking Pawn For Y'all If It Saves My Ass" - Carson

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WHEN WILL THINGS ACTUALLY GO MY WAY? NEVER. :/

This sucks so much, y'all are awesome for getting Kait to her SECOND win.

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That could've been cleaner. Yikes.

This vote obviously put me in something of a weird position. I was never going to vote Kait because of our alliance. And yes, I firmly believe she'd side with me over the alleged Malay-cult. She and I have been closer than a lot of allies I've had in these games so far. We're in lockstep, we're keeping each other sane, and we're not even talking exclusively strategy. The best alliances are formed by people who like each other's outlooks and attitudes, right? That's me and Kait right now.

I was also never going to vote Jack or Lydia because of our awesome Thotse quad with Wes. And I was not likely to vote Steffen unless there was a critical mass going his way. That left us with Ruthie (immune,) Carson and Jakey (on Kabru with me.) So, shit.

Anyway, I told MJ I might try to protect Jake if I could because they both want to work together. But the momentum started swinging his way, and it became even more locked in when he started targeting Kait. His best play would've been to target Steffen or Carson, and even then I'm not sure he could've rallied the votes.

Not wanting to be totally screwed on Kabru after a blindside, I didn't really engage with Jake too much. He came to me asking me to vote with him, almost as a last resort I feel? We hadn't talked since the swap, and he only came to me at 6:30, even though I know for a fact he was talking with others throughout the day. He told me he had Ruthie, Jack and Steffen locked in. I knew the latter two just weren't true. So rather than give him false hope, I checked with the latter two that their votes hadn't changed, then told Jake the votes weren't as locked in as he thought.

And he, somewhat predictably, lost his shit. He didn't want to accept that, telling me that if I voted for him, he'd stay... that my vote was the difference maker... that I was too far up Kait's ass to see it... that I needed to grow a fucking backbone... that I'm pathetic.... that I'm terrible at the game...

Yeah, I've played enough games by now to know nothing good comes from engaging in someone who's resorting to personal shots. So I disengaged. And I think Jake may have forgotten there's a second game going on, in his blind rage? As a multiple-time pre-juror, I know for a fact that it's so not worth getting upset over. Shit happens, the game doesn't break your way. But attacking people over it accomplishes exactly nothing. From what I hear, it sounds like I got off easy too. Apparently he ripped hard into Carson, Kait, Lydia and Jack too.

I don't like when people are sore losers. I don't like when people go for personal shots in a game that's meant to be fun. But I especially don't like when people do both of the above to my friends. Fuck that noise. Any chance of me wanting to work with Jake on Kabru went out the window with that, and I'm sure he feels likewise based on that vote. If it makes sense, I might vote with him as a matter of necessity, but he's not long for this game if I have my say. Bye Felicia.

Normally I would've been more upset about the vote being delayed a few hours, but between the extenuating circumstances out of the hosts' control and the fact that Jake still would've been in the One World chat anyway, nothing noticeably changed. So, fuck it, what's two hours of waiting?

Anyway I like slither.io. It's not my best game, but I enjoy it. Can't wait to put up a high score and show Jake that he's not God's gift to competitions. "Oh mind you I’m the best competitor on this tribe. Not tooting my own horn, just looking back at past performances."??? Like, fuck you? One unnecessarily long endurance run in an early comp doesn't mean we should all just bow down to your *~clear challenge superiority~*. Different people are skilled at different things.

I'm so glad nobody responded to his diatribe in the OW chat. The last thing he needed was to be enabled. His perspective is just that – HIS perspective. It's clear he doesn't really have a grasp of how this game is playing out, or else he might not have been the one to go last night.

Gage is super duper cute! But he never responds to my messages, so I am super duper not happy about that! Like, Gage, please. C'mon, Gage. Get it together. C'mon. I sent him what I did in the adventure, and you know the response I got? It was a riveting, rambling silence. Like...? What!? Didn't Gage WIN once or something?? How did he manage that??? Did he sleepwalk there, or were the other people in the final tribal council just that bad? I am completely befuddled.

Oh MJ really just threw me under the bus eh? I can't believe I got the full Olympics experience in one night. Choke.

Oh not me getting one of the highest scores on both my tribes for a flash game!? What a foreign concept.

safe in both games, so i have time to work on RELATIONSHIPS and read my book on how to win survivor so i can win this!!!!

please help

mj and pat treating me like pawns for the adventure! love it.

ill be a fucking pawn for yall if it saves my ass but an idol or something WOULD be nice.

In other news, Jimmy is the bee's knees. Yes, he is! He is so very cool! Yes, he's hip!

me and kait on call

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i think theres an imbalance of trust between mj and i.

i trust him wholeheartedly as hes my only close ally, but he sees me as expendable from what i get from our conversations. he barely responds and i obviously seem to be of lesser priority? but idk maybe im just paranoid, but im holding on for dear life

me pressuring mj into sending his screenshots of his latest chats and seeing almost all of them are about the game! how iconic.

LISTEN I REALLY WANNA KILL THE OA TONIGHT. LIKE I WANT OWEN TO LEAVE. i'm just in this STUPID FUCKENING SPOT in the middle of jenn and jimmy and LOGI-WAN????????? IS LEAKING SHIT TO JENN THAT I WANT JENN OUT ??? OR SOME SHIT LIKE WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT SDGJSDKLSD; GOD.

i have more to say but i will wait for after class but i'm still like i legit don't know what i wanna do

i'm gonna need a pair of cargo shorts for all the people logi-wan thinks i have in my pockets!!!

Sorry that I've been kinda AWOL but it's because I've been feeling pretty shitty about my position in the game as a whole. I'm very lucky to have Matt in the game who is always willing to have strategic conversations that I know will provide me with a secure outlet that's not going to make my position even worse. I told him I planned on making a fake idol but idk if I'll go ahead with exposing that I have an "idol" to my tribe due to current changes in circumstances that I'll talk about later. Jakey's exposing of the tight Malaysian core alliance has made them change their tune which I'm really happy about because I'm sure I'm the target tonight (thanks Owen, you suck), but thankfully Jimmy exists and wants to work with me to pull off some move because the Malaysian's are going whack and he is thankful I saved him all that time ago back in Easter Island? I- I didn't do that much except kill my own game but thank you for willing to switch shit up!

It looks like their might be a chance I will stay tonight, however there are several different stories being played out on this tribe. Logan told me flat out it's me. However Jimmy told me Logan approached him and Jenn to vote out Gage? I don't get why when clearly Gage showed him loyalty? I'm not complaining cuz it means the vote would not be on me. But I think it's gonna be on me since Jenn reassured that it probably was. So it would come down to MJ voting with Jenn/Jimmy over Owen/Logan. Alternatively I could be a total bitch and expose a plan if I'm totally unsure what to do, or 10 minutes before tribal I could post my fake messages and idol that I found to hopefully send them into a panic and switch their votes off me and onto someone not me. It's a tough position to be in cuz I don't want to reveal I've an idol and for it to backfire somehow, but also how it may look untrustworthy to my alliance if I "had" an idol and didnt "play" it. So hmm. I'm concerned because Gage seems to be going after Logan now but is trying to get Owen? I fear this is where it could blow up. 4 of these people are going to both tribals so it's a very tricky situation. If the plan falls apart, the votes might just all fall back onto me because I'm the "easy vote". I have to see what happens and make a calculated decision before tribal that will work in my favour.

It could be game over, or game on.

So like, I want Gage to go home. He is going to both tribals like Jenn, Jimmy, and Owen. Lydia and Owen are in the minority in Game B, so I'm thinking they're going to be easy boots because Gage is close to Kait. Well, I don't want that to happen, obviously. They're both my allies. But I'm also on good terms with Jenn and Jimmy, so I don't want them to go. Kait isn't an option because Kait isn't going to both tribals, and no one wants an angry, scorned Kait in the game. That's like leaving a provoked bear in the game. No thanks! Plus I'm good with her, too. That leaves Gage, and he made it super easy for me to want him gone by not speaking to me at all, lol. I sent you the receipts of my adventure, the least you can do is respond! Rude!!! Anyways, yeah, Gage should go. Also, he is trying to target me, I guess? Which is also not cool. Good Guy Gage is going down.

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please god

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WHOA I WON THAT IMMUNITY HUH!!!!!! im honestly not that worried if we lose just bc ik i have mj ruthie and matt on my side no matter what and that would at least tie it. but basically i tried to go on call with owen and kait to smooth over some relationships... i rly intended to work with owen if he would let me but he went and told kait the one piece of information i told him which was that i heard that lydia and kait made a deal to stay.. owen u rly know how to piss me OFF huh

i had a pretty good call with kait and i hope it was enough that if mj did keep me if we lose on tribe b, she wouldn't flip her shit and come after mj. mj is literally the saving grace of my game and ill do anything for him in this game. if that means i gotta be fake with kait and pretend like i wanna smooth things over and work together then ill do that. anyway ruthie is a legend and will win this season bookmark THAT

I've been laying SUPER low. Like, I apologized to Kait and told her I was close to voting her out because she scares me as a player or whatever, but that I really wanted to work with her because we didn't get a chance to work together in Trashy, and then I also threw in how my good friend Ashley Sarah liked playing with her so much when Kait was catfishing in Canaries and hopefully we bonded a bit. SHE FREAKING TERRIFIES ME but if working with her keeps me around longer, I'm all for it. I'm not going to try to make anymore big moves for awhile because as much as I want to, I don't want to piss off the rest of the people in the tribes.

My goal now is to stay close with Steffen, Steve and keep talking to Pat because he's just so nice. He's genuinely the nicest person playing in my opinion. I'm also going to stay close to Jakey, he's my number one, and I'm going to stay close to Carson as well, and just try to stay on his good side and stuff. I don't want to take Carson to the end, there is no way. As much as I love Steffen I'd rather not take him to the end either. Jakey I could see, going all the way with but we both have to stay in order for anything like that to actually happen.

I don't know if I made the right choice in putting my foot down about voting Jimmy over Gage. Every option seems bad in my opinion, but I think I've made it pretty clear I want Gage around, just to turn my back and vote him next time... I don't know. This will probably bite me in the ass somehow, like maybe Gage is lying to me and Lydia will end up going, or idk god knows what will happen....

Nobody has really talked to me since I went to dinner at 6:30... So part of me just feels like I'm getting clocked on both tribes. Either way, I guess I'll see what happens.

I don't want this to be the end, really, and I don't know if it's smart to try and take control in a game where everything spreads like fire and is painfully obvious. I just gotta keep crossing my fingers, huH!

Time off???? from this game????? A concept! I don't know what to do with my hands.

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gage is leaving????? maybe.... even tho i'd prefer owen leaving but... everything is so risky and shaky at this point im so KJDFHJKDHS NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

This may be my last confessional! I decided against playing the fake idol card because I didn't want it to blow up the plan currently in place. If it goes how I hope I should survive but I've still got low expectations. Secondly, I'm a bad explainer of things and I didn't want to get caught out and laughed at because I made a silly idol. It's a card I'll keep in my pocket if I survive. If not, I'll be thankful to those who tried to keep me in the game and I'll wish my allies luck in surviving. But fingers crossed and all the other stereotypical survival things to say. Lets goooooooo

I guess Gage is coming for me, so I had to switch my vote against him. If he knew how much I'd been doing to protect his ass, maybe he'd think differently.

It's a shame when people's stupid decisions prevent others from doing the right thing. Oh well! STUPID.

I had three calls the hour before tribal with Jenn, Lydia, and Owen and they were all concerned with getting Gage out, and then he gets voted out unanimously in both games. I'm glad all that time I spent trying to get him out wasn't wasted. Bye-bye, Gage! Don't target me next time, okay?

Whew I am so happy I survived but extremely sad that it came at Gage's expense. I really would've loved to work with him because he's honest, caring, charming etc. He's just a all round good guy and buddy. I'm also interested that suddenly I'm making a whole pack of new friends? Kait (although drunk) is talking to me for the first time since day 1 and secondly Owen has found his voice to chat to me! So I'm very interested to see what position this could put me in. I'm also shook that Matt thought my idol was real? I told him it was fake before I made it gdfihgkol. Maybe I should pull it out if it's convincing enough! Also I'm surprised Lydia came to me and goes "you're welcome". Um. I'm not sure you swung the vote on my tribe to Gage considering there was talk of it being him at lunchtime today? Like. I'm crediting Jenn and Jimmy for that one so sorry this isn't Port Royal and I'm a different player. Just cuz I'm in a shitty position doesn't mean I'm not beginning around for whatever scraps I can find. I HOPE this tribal is turning point for me, but you hosts are sending us all to tribal again so I'll probably get taken out as the easy vote, but I trust Jenn/Jimmy to at least tie it for us.

#confessionals #ivebeenbamboozled

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