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gubler-me-up · 3 years

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Dream’s in Motion

Request: Hi!! I was wondering if you could do something where the reader and spencer have been friends for a realllly long time & one night on the plane she ends up falling asleep on him or something and all the sudden it makes him realize his feelings & he’s like oh fuck i really like her and he ends up telling her and idk just something really cute??

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! Sorry this took AWHILE to write omg idek what’s wrong with me. I guess doing marketing work is taking all my creative juices away from me because by the end of the day ya girl be exhausted. That being said I’m glad I finally got to publish this cute fluff! Hope you enjoy!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: ~fluff~

Content warning: Like one swear word

Word count: 1.7

————-

Spencer walked up to Y/N’s hotel room door to see if she was ready to meet the team downstairs to leave for the jet back to Quantico. He knocked on her door and waited patiently for her to open up. Ever since they became friends five years ago when Y/N joined the team, they’ve made it a tradition to make sure they were both set to leave for the jet to go home.

Y/N opened the door with a huge smile already plastered on her face. She had her to-go back ready in her hand. Spencer smiled and held out his hand to her. She obliged and gave him her to-go bag. From the very beginning he would offer to carry her to-go bag out of courtesy. Before Y/N would refuse to let him carry it because she felt bad but he always insisted he would do anything to make her day easier.

“You’re such a gentleman, Spence. I don’t think I’ll ever get over how sweet you are,” she said as she closed the hotel room door.

He smiled. “You act as if I’m carrying you on my back.”

She giggled. “You might as well be.”

“I would if you wanted me to.”

“I’ll remember that next time I’m too tired to walk to the jet.”

They both laughed as they walked towards the elevator. The rest of the team was probably downstairs in the lobby waiting for them. They were always the last two to arrive which raised eyebrows and raised higher suspicions as to if they were just really good friends.

When they stepped into the elevator, Y/N was telling him something about what she was going to do when she got home but he found himself lost in her eyes. He found himself doing it often lately and felt bad whenever he did because he loved hearing her talk. He loved watching her smile once she remembered the little details in her story she forgot. He loved the excitement in her eyes whenever he had anything to add to her story.

Having Y/N in his life felt like an upgrade to him. They were always there for each other and understood each other deeper than anyone else. He probably spent more hours with her on his days off than he spent alone. The more they saw each other, the happier he was. It was unreal to him because no one person had ever made him feel a sense of euphoria before.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, they both could see the team waiting in the lobby. As they walked up towards them the looks already started to float around. Morgan’s eyebrow squiggled up as he gave Spencer a fascinated look. JJ tried to conceal her smile. Hotch looked at them unimpressed by their tardiness. Spencer and Y/N played every look off as cool as possible instead of trying to defend themselves.

“Nice for you two to finally join us,” JJ said.

“Better late than never,” Y/N said.

“Ten minutes late though?” Morgan asked.

“It’s been 10 minutes?” Spencer asked.

“We’ll discuss your time management skills on the jet. Let’s go,” Hotch said.

“Yes, sir,” they both said.

Spencer sat on the couch reading a book as everyone else on the jet was sleeping. It was the middle of the night by now as they were flying back to the east coast. He didn’t fall asleep like everyone else because someone was keeping him up. Y/N was still fighting sleep as she tried to finish her crossword puzzle next to him. He would quietly chime in here and there to help her out but she wanted to complete one on her own. She was still extremely grateful for his input as her brain slowly shut down.

She yawned for the fifteenth time within the hour. Spencer looked over at her to see her looking blankly at the crossword in front of her. He smiled as he placed his hand on the page. It took her a while to notice which told him she was even more tired than he originally thought.

“Y/N, I think you should get some rest. You’re really tired,” he softly said.

“But I want to keep you company,” she said through another yawn.

He blushed. “You just being by my side is company enough. You don’t have to be awake.”

She looked at him to give him a faint smile as her eyes could barely stay open. Without another word exchanged between both of them, she laid down with her head on his lap. Before she drifted off, she looked up at him with sleepy eyes as he looked at her surprised.

“You’re okay with me sleeping on you right?” She asked.

He nodded his head. “O-of course.”

She smiled one last time before making herself comfortable on his lap again. He picked up the blanket and draped it over her. He looked at her to see she had already drifted away. He felt the flutter in his chest again. He usually felt those flutters when they were alone. Even in a plane full of his team members and friends, she was the only one he focused on.

He put his book down and let out a deep sigh as he thought about this feeling inside of him. He looked at her peacefully sleeping on his lap. He liked how she was comfortable with him and he liked he could be the one to bring her comfort.

He sighed again as he took a moment to think about every time he and Y/N were together. The way she would look at him made him feel like the luckiest man out there. Every time they touched gave him a burst of energy. Her whole presence made him feel as if he was on another planet every time.

‘Oh fuck, I really like her,’ he thought to himself.

When he finally came to terms with it in his mind, he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it the whole jet ride. He didn’t even attempt to continue reading. No amount of words in his favourite book could distract him from the feelings he had finally come to terms with.

He looked down at her again. He brushed a piece of hair away from her face ever so gently so she wouldn’t wake up. Even in her sleep she smiled at his touch. He felt his face radiate as he saw her small smile appear and fade as she drifted back off to dreamland.

He stared out into space as he thought about her. He thought about how he would properly express himself to her without embarrassing himself. He didn’t even know if she felt the same fluttering feelings towards him. He pondered the whole way back to Quantico. Was telling her worth risking their friendship? Would she even reciprocate her feelings back to him? He understood if she didn’t but he secretly wished she would.

After a two hour flight, they were finally back in Quantico. It was the middle of the night so everyone was in a hurry to get in their cars and make their way home to get a decent night’s sleep. Spencer and Y/N walked to her car together as they hadn’t parked so far away from each other. Even though she was still tired, her profiler senses were still on point as she saw Spencer gripping the strap of his satchel tightly.

“Is everything okay, Spence?” She asked.

“Yeah, of course,” he said.

“I didn’t sleep on you too hard, did I?” She joked.

“No, not at all,” he chuckled.

“So, what’s up? You think I don’t notice you gripping onto your satchel for dear life or your nervous expression?” She asked.

Spencer immediately stopped gripping his satchel strap so tight and fixed his nervous expression. Well, he tried to. Y/N raised an eyebrow as she wasn’t buying his attempt to avoid her questions.

“Are you trying to avoid answering me?” She asked.

“No, I would never,” he said.

“Seems like you would since you’re doing just that right now,” she said.

“It’s just…it’s hard to express,” he said.

Y/N looked at him in shock. “Dr. Spencer Reid finding it hard to express himself? Unheard of. It must be something really complex.”

“You can say that,” he said.

As they reached Y/N’s car, she grabbed his hand which had found itself back on his satchel strap. She held his hand close to her and he could feel his palms getting sweaty. He felt his face getting hot again as well as she looked deep into his eyes with that smile he loved so much plastered on her face.

“Well, you can attempt to express it to me,” she said.

At the moment she said those words, Spencer found his hands grip the side of her face and pulled her into a kiss. Y/N didn’t even pull away to question it and wrapped her arms around his neck to let him know the kiss was well received. As they parted lips, Spencer looked at her with a face coloured deep red. Y/N giggled at how flustered he looked.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t even know-”

“That was really hot. Like really, really hot.”

Spencer looked at her in shock. “Really? It wasn’t weird or awkward?”

Y/N shook her head. “Not at all. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long while but I’ve been too chicken to do it.”

“Really? You like me too?”

“Like? I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you, good doctor.”

He chuckled. “Maybe we can discuss us over dinner sometime?”

“Only if we can do more of this.”

Y/N embraced Spencer in another quick kiss to seal the deal. When they parted Spencer couldn’t help smiling widely as he looked at her. He stroked her cheek as he got lost in her eyes.

“We can definitely do more of this,” he said.

“Finally,” they heard JJ and Morgan shout.

They turned to see they were both walking by on the other side. They gave them two thumbs up each with overjoyed looks on their face. Spencer and Y/N giggled as they watched how excited they were for them. They both knew they weren’t the only people who were waiting for a move to be made.

—–

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @bluerose512 @laneybobeczko-g

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dallonm-archive · 4 years

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So I Turned Church Mud Into A Novel Lol Oops | NaNoWriMo 2020

Folks the JOURNEY I have been on in the last 3 days. I’ve been on a great albeit chaotic Church Mud high and it led to? This?

For those who don’t know, Church Mud is meant to be a ~7k words short story for my writing dissertation (and it still is). I attempted to do Draft Zero over summer, completely missed the mark, pretended it didnt exist for a month and here we are. One thing I learnt from that attempt though was that there is a much wider story to be told than what we’d see in those 7k words. Back then I was content with it only existing as a short story, not having all the parts told, because I liked the idea of Felix and Dorothy existing in this small window with a happy ending that’d otherwise be temporary. But I cannot help myself :) I met my advisor on Wednesday and reaffirmed that I’m at a really good place with this story in terms of ideas, themes and character - what’s missing was just the plot. So that’s what I’ve been working on (and killing my sleep schedule over) since, and what happened was: I realise most of my ideas wouldn’t fit the short story --> But they’d work in a novel --> So I guess I’m writing Church Mud as a novel after I graduate? --> But I kinda wanna write it now --> But I can’t --> But I want to --> Chloe your dissertation --> Hey you want more novel content? Here’s chapter titles --> God I Can’t Wait To Write This As A Novel --> Hey that thing where you write a novel in a month is happening soon...could be a...perfect excuse to...….,,,

So I had a ~revelation~ at 4am: why can’t I write it now? NaNoWriMo coincides with when I’m meant to brainstorm this story, so why don’t I take what I have and pants it as a novel, intentionally #LoseNano2020 and use what I wrote to infer what the short story will look like whilst also have a Draft Zero to work with/finish/rewrite next year? I debated if this was a good idea because it felt ~unconventional~ but I realised that a) I want to write this as a novel anyway and b) this is where I’m loving the project and that’s what matters and c) makes it feel less like uni work lol I’ve spent the all day playing around with what Church Mud The Novel would look like, and not only am I o b s s e s s e d but it also taught me? so much? about the short story? I was worried it’d get complicated but from the vague plot idea I have, I have a clear vision of Church Mud The Short Story separate from the novel, but I also see how it would fit into the novel as a chapter, and seeing where it’d fit in has really helped me figure out where it sits in the twins’ lives and so many elements I hadn’t considered before. I believe very strongly in Writers Intuition and my intuition is telling me that this is the direction I need to go with this project. My only issue is Church Mud doesn’t fit as a title for the novel at all and was never going to be the title, but I really don’t care oop, I’m not titling it until next year unless I come up with a title so good I want to change the short story as well lmao. But other than that this is working so well for me and really catalysed the momentum I already had atm for this story. I’ve also wanted to rework how I share Church Mud things here and this is a perfect way to at least for the next month, but before I ramble more lets actually talk about where the story is!

CHURCH MUD

Genre: literary fiction Setting: California (+ probably some other states? Idk I’m not American wtf is a state), 1986 POV: third person present + retrospective moments, split between twins Felix and Dorothy The Vibes: hazy summers, hot air, 3am, saltwater breeze, grainy photographs, empty roads at night, the moon blurred by clouds, arms resting out car windows, abandoned churches, telephone boxes, getting lost on purpose, cigarette smoke, dust from an old Bible Deals with: faith & the weaponization of it to control others, identity, perceptions of reality, chosen family, independence v co-dependence, free will, trauma & what it means to “let go”

CONTENT WARNINGS: religion/religious imagery (specifically Christianity), trauma, toxic relationships, inferred addiction (all updates will be tagged with these/any more specific warnings)

This is still in very early conception, in the sense of it’s existence as a novel, but it’s definitely an expansion on the ideas I had for the short story, where these two seek to let go of their past together so they can live their own, new lives, and also restore their tangled relationship that could never be fixed through letters and distant contact. When Dorothy left the controlling religious cult she grew up in, she never gave herself a chance to properly process the complicated emotions that came with that decision, or the trauma she went through, opting to cope with it by putting all her energy into building her new life and embracing her identity. Watching her brother navigate the same new, confusing path she took four years ago forces her to look back on her own experience, and the repressed memories of events that prompted her to leave in the first place. When Felix catches up with her, he struggles with the realisation that adjusting to this new life and world won’t be easy, and whilst it was the right choice, his impulsive decision has ramifications. Trauma does not necessarily stay in the place you associate it with and for Felix, it’s like seeing all of it from a birds eye view, all at once, including everything he blocked out. With his faith, his sister, and his drive to be a good person, he has hope for himself and the world, but the pain and anger he harbours will not make it easy for him. ^by no means a pitch literally just the copy paste of the quick summary I wrote for myself lmao

The most exciting part of this to me is how different, yet similar the novel feels. This version of the story isn’t necessarily happier, it’s still rough around the edges, but it’s definitely from a different mindset and there’s this haziness to it that doesn’t exist in the short story. It feels like a grainy home video that they’d never let see the light of day. I wouldn’t call it dreamlike or softer because of this, but there is this distinct tonal shift from the short story to the novel that I can only describe through the aforementioned Vibes. As I said, I have an idea of where the short story would fit into the novel’s timeline as a chapter, but they still won’t be the same. The short story is obviously more restricted to one singular event, and that turns the intensity and tension up high. This difference is also 100% influenced by the fact that the short story is set only at night (bar for some potential flashbacks), and the night plays a huge thematic and atmospheric role. Of course parts of the novel will take place at night, but the presence of daytime changes the mindset to me? In the short story it feels like they’re stuck in this perpetuate-esque night, whereas in the novel you know that the sun will always rise.

This story is also very different aesthetically, but at the same time elements of the short story’s aesthetic come into play and clash with the unique aesthetic of the novel, where they coexist, but are also in conflict with each other. As you can tell from these two moodboards where you can really see how for the second I gave up trying to make it coherent lmao:

To me there are two distinct aesthetics, and they are both very different and exist in different ways, but they are both inherently part of the story, and it feeds into this idea of perception of reality and these two realities that the twins perceive: the “outside world” and the gated world they grew up in.

The stars of the show, my favourite disaster twins:

Not fragile, but not made of stone either

Loves very hard, sometimes more than she’d like

A protective and loyal soul, especially with those she loves, but she never wants to forget to protect herself

If I’m in love with my best (female) friend, no I’m not <3

-goes to the edge of the pier and stares wistfully at the ocean so everyone knows that I am the main character-

Loves her brother more than anyone else but is struggling to figure out his new role in her life. As teenagers she felt painfully tethered to him because they were always The Twins, and she had nobody else, as adults she hopes to find a balance between their deeply close bond and their harshly different lives

Arc driven by defining your identity and then redefining it, and facing the parts of it you’d rather lock far away. Also deals with her experience growing up as a girl in a religious cult in the 60s/70s, and the relationship faith has with her feminist identity.

As of now, there’s more focus on him in the novel, since the short story focuses on Dorothy and I feel to write him from an observer perspective I need to get into his head first

Just found out restarting your life completely is hard?

Trying to be a good person, wants to be a good person, but there’s an anger in him that he hates but it’s festering and it’s growing

But ultimately he is a sweet and soft person and that’s what he wants to be in life even though it’s hard, it shows especially with his sister

I think at some point he locks himself in a cabin and? I would too

Centred around perception of trauma and v influenced by my own experiences with that, where you think things will be easier as soon as you leave that situation but really it just makes you look at everything from a distance and be like “what the fuck?? that actually happened??” (which conflicts with the fact that you KNOW you’re in a better place and you would never go back, but it hurts and it’s hard especially understanding the placement of your trauma in this new space)

I need to give this dude and his sister a happy ending for my own wellbeing. I don’t know how that’ll look but these two will get their happy endings. I actually don’t think I’ve loved two characters more and I love all my characters deeply

And I think that’s all for now! This 100% was not the direction I expected to take but I am so glad I did, and I also love the opportunity to reintroduce this story because good Lord it’s changed so much (and this instance is the most change). I also think this is the perfect Nano scenario for me, as someone who’s never done it before, there’s zero pressure on me to “win” because I don’t expect to even finish this. I’m just going to see where it takes me and see what it’s given me at the end of the month. I’m also not outlining this at all lmao, one because me and outlines do not get along but also my Preptober is just. the work I have to do for my dissertation anyway, which is reading and gathering a lot of fiction/nonfiction about cults/religion, and all the weird and unhinged takes on it. It’s very slow but it’s also fun! My uni work this weekend is literally to read The Girls by Emma Cline so I think I won here?? I also want to dedicate the rest of October to the short stories I planned to write for Nano (I was going to work on my collection).

I don’t know if I’ll do a taglist for this - I have the og Church Mud one but like I said I’m rethinking how I want to share this story and updates for this will only be regular in November so?? But chances are I will be constantly on my bullshit for the next month and a half with this story, pretty update or no pretty update

My NaNoWriMo page is here, although fair warning I have No idea how this site works, this is my boomer moment. Excited to clown about this story though!

- Chloe

#first off my fatal flaw is interchanging between Felix and Dorothy and Dorothy and Felix #second off i would die and kill for them #writing #amwriting #writeblr #writeblr community #religion /#trauma /#nanowrimo #nanowrimo 2020

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fae-fucker · 3 years

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Zenith: Chapter 68-71

Chapter 68

Andi remembers how Kalee gave her a tour of her home and bragged about how she’d be ruling the place someday. Andi asks why her and not her brother.

Oh, Androma. Kalee had laughed then, tossing her head back in that glorious, carefree way that made everyone around her want to come closer. You and I both know that a woman can rule better than any man ever could. And I’ll look twice as good doing it, too.

Shinsay, voices muffled as their heads are stuck up each other’s asses: This is definitely, 100%, one whole, bona fide, authentic, organic, home-grown feminism that we just put in our book.

Also ... take a look at that weak-ass description that’s supposed to show us how good and cool Kalee is. When she laughs (in a way that tbh have you ever laughed? be real with me now), people want to ... come closer?

Wow! That’s like saying ... when I scratch my face, people want to call their mom. When I brush my hair, people may spontaneously feel the need to take a slightly deeper breath.

Talk about low standards. Hey fellas, you ever see someone laugh and just kinda sorta want to approach them but not really? Yeah, that’s the stuff.

Andi thinks about how Kalee would’ve been a better ruler than her dad, who doesn’t even bother coming down to meet his tortured son because that’s how incompetent and evil and heartless he is. I mean, Andi doesn’t know that Valen is the result of rape, but still. Idk if I’m on board with how the book demonizes the hell out of the General but tried to make whatsherface sympathetic. And by “I don’t know if I am” I mean “I’m definitely not what the fuck is wrong with these people.”

Dex tries to make some conversation and Andi says that nobody befriended Kalee, that only super duper special people were CHOSEN by her to become her friends.

I’m ... not sure how this is supposed to be better. In fact, I’d say it’s worse?

“Kalee chose the people she wished to let into her life. I was honored that she allowed me to be assigned to her.”

“Honored?” Dex asked, raising a bruised brow. “Or damned?”

“I’ll let you know after we talk to the general,” Andi said.

I’m gonna fiking piss. “I’ll tell you whether this important life event was honor or damnation, but like, later, after we have this appointment, ok?” Why is this so funny. Have I fully lost my marbles?

Andi foreshadows some escape tunnels that are hidden all around the estate so Dex has a logical way to save them at the end of the book. I’m sure there is a more elegant way of setting that up, but I can’t be bothered to find one, so let’s call it acceptable and move on.

They arrive at their destination and Andi notices that Alfie seems bummed out. She muses that he’s “capable of far more complex thinking than she’d originally guessed,” which, DOY, but ok, and then thinks about how he’s saved her crew and remembered Gilly’s Marketable Space Pet, which implies he has some “understanding of feelings and attachments.”

That hamster wheel do be spinnin’.

The “head Spectre” comes out to meet them and ...

It took everything in her to speak as the truth struck her.

“Dad?”

DUN DUN DUUUN, it’s Andi’s dad! Also, “the truth struck her?” What truth? That it’s your dad? Was that in doubt? Did you really need a moment to connect the dots, to realize this is your dad? Was there a moment where you saw this man, who is your dad, and thought that this wasn’t your dad, only for the truth to strike and OH SHIT THAT’S MY DAD!! WOW HOLD YOUR HORSES EVERYONE I NEED TIME TO PROCESS THAT THIS IS INDEED MY DAD.

Tbh if you strapped knives to a roomba it’d have more charisma and presence as the protagonist than Andi. And let’s be real, more intelligence.

Yet another chapter ends on a pointless cliffhanger only for the scene to continue exactly where it left off!

You’re just full of surprises, Shinsay.

Chapter 69 (nice)

Andi recaps everything that she’s gone through after the Kalee crash up to the fight with the big alien dude who got deus ex machina-d by Alfie and how she nearly kissed Dex, which gets written as extra special, just so she can make this point:

But this...her father, as General Cortas’s head Spectre?

This might actually kill her.

And aside from how generically melodramatic it is, I can’t help but recall this, from chapter 7:

The man in front of her was a victim of her foolishness. Beside her was the man who’d rejected her love.

The two of them, together? It was nearly enough to shatter Andi.

Andi has the same reaction as I do when in a room with multiple men. Except in her case I think it’s supposed to be deep and personal.

Anyway, self-plagiarism aside, Andi thinks about how her dad was always there for her but then one day wasn’t when he didn’t support her on her trial and how conflicted she feels about him, both wanting to demand justice but also wanting comfort. This is actually quite touching and feels very grounded and realistic.

General Cortas rubs it in that Andi’s dad, “Comander Racella”, has been very loyal and hardworking since he was promoted after Andi’s trial. Andi hopes that her father actually hates the general and was forced to work for him as some sort of punishment for what happened with their daughters.

The general says the situation on Adhira has been taken care of, and when Andi asks whether Xen Ptera attacked because of Valen and her crew’s presence on Adhira, the general says that’s classified. For reasons? Idk. Seems pretty obvious to me, or maybe he just doesn’t know?

Dex tries to yap but Cortas flexes his big dick and reminds Dex that he’s a Guardian now, and Dex is too much of a baby to risk his regained status so he shuts up. This is all spelled out for us by Andi’s inner monologue, because we’re idiots.

The general claims the Xen Pteran forces have been wiped out, saying how it’s probably all they had since there’s few able-bodied and willing people to recruit for war after their planet got fucked, and when Andi presses him for why the attack happened now and on Adhira, he says:

“War never really ends, Androma. The desire for revenge is often too strong to forget.”

“War never ends ... But me and my crew totes ended that war just now. They don’t have any more soldiers so this war is over.” Makes sense, sir.

Cortas says that queen Alara is safe and will be at the Peace Summit, which Andi immediately tells him to cancel because it would be the perfect opportunity for another attack. Cortas replies by saying that Arcardius is impenetrable and that the day the Olen System successfully invades will be the day “stars fall from the sky” which is a very poetic and not at all natural way to say something like this, so it’s there for ... idk dramatic irony? He also reminds her that the Summit is important because it celebrates the peace after the war and the unity between the systems and I’m here like ... for a guy who says war never ends, you sure seem happy to celebrate a war ending and don’t believe one is going on right now. But I guess these characters just exist to spout meaningless yet deep-sounding nonsense at each other.

Dex reminds the general that they’ve done their end of the deal, at which point the general conveniently decides to prolong it out of nowhere and essentially forces Andi and Dex to be Valen’s bodyguards at the Peace Summit by holding Andi’s crew and ship and Dex’s money and status hostage. Thanks for ensuring the main characters are there for the climax, sir! Appreciated!

Dex and Andi leave in a huff.

Chapter 70

We’re in Lira’s POV as she reminisces about her childhood with Lon while he’s recovering from his near-death-experience.

So she sat by [Lon’s] side for endless hours, until the warm clutches of sleep stole her away.

She dreams about flying on an “Adhiran darowak” but then DUN DUN DUUUN Adhira below turns into Xen Ptera and it’s horrible!

“No,” Lira gasped. Her heart began to crack. Fissures spread through it, reaching cold fingers through every valve until Lira felt darkness stealing her away.

So the editor just left that in, huh? Just let Shinsay use the exact same wording in less than 200 words? Must’ve been stolen away by the editing fairy for editing crimes while reading this.

Lira is woken up by Alara, who got here so fucking fast she must be part-Sonic on her father’s side. You’d think a planetary leader would have more to do after a sudden and deadly attack on her home planet, but I guess Adhirans are so chill they’ll just let their leader fuck off to take care of her angsty teenage niece instead.

Lira says that she’ll do anything to make up for bringing Valen to Adhira, to which Alara says that the only thing Lira will do is “follow her heart,” which is sweet of her to say but also really convenient and makes this whole decision easier for her.

I mean, it’s nice that Alara is so supportive, but 1) narratively, it removes the conflict that was introduced only a few chapters ago 2) it makes Alara seem like she’s only there to be the supportive cool aunt and the Good Queen, without any expectations or wants of her own. Like, wasn’t the pressure from Alara something that gave Lira actual conflict? Idk. Seems too easy, is what I’m saying.

Lira didn’t let go of her aunt until the tears dried up. Until they sat down on either side of Lon’s bedside, held his hands and spoke of happier times. The beauty of a family that could come together, broken, and still find a way to become something whole.

You’re one step away from “Ohana means family” over here, Shinsay. Stop spelling shit out. WE. GET. IT. Also, whose narration is this? We’ve mostly stuck to third person limited, so ... is Lira thinking this? Is she thinking this shit while it’s happening? About her own family and situation? What the fuck?

Shinsay couldn’t keep their suspiciously sticky fingers out of their own writing and let it breathe so it comes out looking like God’s mistake.

Anyway, Lon wakes up and Alara tells him what went down on Adhira.

Chapter 71

We’re back with Andi, who just got out of a bath and is bitterly admiring her “private quarters” when she’s interrupted by DUN DUN her dad! He’s been waiting for her!

It’s all very tense. Before they can really start talking, though, we get a flashback. No, really. This whole tense reunion between father and daughter is interrupted by a lengthy flashback brought on by Andi watching her dad and Remembering.

Because Shinsay.

It’s a flashback to Andi in a cell, the day before she was supposed to be executed. Her dad tells her that her mother is "not well” and we find out his name is Oren. As they’re saying their tearful goodbyes, Oren slips Andi a key and tells her “Bay Seven. Tomorrow at dawn.”

The flashback ends with Andi’s cell standing empty the next morning.

Very cool and all that.

Back in the now, Andi rightfully chews her dad out for being a cowardly little bitch and throwing his teenage daughter under the bus for the sake of status. Something he freely admits to doing. He says he and her mother had to struggle to rebuild their reputation after she ruined it, and that he believes his daughter died with Kalee and that whoever he saved in the cell was already the Bloody Baroness even if she didn’t know it yet. Then he fucks off.

It’s all extremely silly. It would’ve been heartbreaking in any better book, but instead, it just feels like it’s tacked on for the sake of adding even more angst to Androma’s character. In fact, she’s not even upset at this. Instead she just carves some more tallies into her swords, dances some more with the dead, and then sneaks out.

No really, it’s written like a list.

She waited for the tears to come. But they never did.

Instead she sat alone, adding more tallies to her swords. Dancing with the dead inside her head.

Why is this so funny! I think it’s because both the tally-carving and the ghost-dancing is supposed to be these deep and haunted things she does that’s given a fair amount of weight and focus, but then it’s just written out like this like it’s just some generic routine shit she does like brushing her teeth or wiping her ass.

Yup, there she goes, doing her generic angsty shit one after the other. Emotional whiplash glossed over for the sake of moving the plot along. She’s in such a bad mental state that we simply MUST ignore it and move on.

Also, I want to highlight how convenient it is for Shinsay to already have Andi suspect and previously coming to terms with how her parents don’t love her before this confrontation. Like, we see her father save her tearfully, yet Andi has almost no hope that he still loves her. Or, she does, but when it’s squashed, she just ... accepts it? Because hey, she already processed that trauma years before! Makes it easy!

Wouldn’t it make it more impactful if all these years, she’s hoped that she has a home to come back to? That her father’s final act of saving her meant they love her still and want her to come back? And now she finds out that they never even mourned her loss? Wouldn’t that be heart-wrenching? And also add to the idea that Andi wants to return to Arcardia, both because it’s her home planet but also because that’s where her parents are? Instead we’re led to believe Andi wants to return, but when she does, she hates it here, she knows nobody wants her here, and she wants to leave immediately.

I seriously question the inclusion of this subplot and these characters. It adds nothing, changes nothing, and is just there to make Andi more angsty, which she already is, so ... why is this here lmao?

Shinsay really went “let’s squander all our potentially interesting ideas and concepts for the sake of more cheap angst and making our protag a cool emotionless badass who don’t care for no thing.”

#eff reads: zenith

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kpopfromtheblock · 6 years

Text

a/n ⇾ okay, so I went ahead and re-edited this bc there were some… concerns about the use of “oppa” so I took out the word completely… I hope you all can understand and accept the new version of my story! thanks for reading! 💕

LIFE WITH BANGTAN | ot7

001

genre ⇾ mostly fluff? I guess, polyBTS! bts crack? idk lol.. it’s a goofy mess.

pairing ⇾ bts x fem reader

summary ⇾ you shaved your legs again and you’re very proud of how smooth you were able to get them this time around so in result, you force all seven of your boyfriends to touch your legs.

warning ⇾ implied smut, dirty talk? (jhope & jimin are hornballs) and I think there’s some swearing in here.. idk

words ⇾ 1,2k

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . * ⁺

With one leg up on the edge of the tub, you slowly and carefully slide the razor up. Going all the way to the top of your thigh, removing the hair and shaving cream in one go.

For some girls, it easier to shave in the shower but for you, not so much. You can’t see what you’re doing and you hate stepping out of the shower to find that you’ve missed a spot of hair on your leg. You like to be as thorough as possible when shaving anything on your body. Shaving your legs outside the shower with your leg propped on the side of the tub ensure that there is no stubble left behind.

You take your hand and run it across your now smooth and hair free thigh. You smile to yourself. Both of your legs are softer than a baby’s bottom and you couldn’t be any happier about it. “Perfection.” You say as you gaze at your shiny calves.

You wash the razor off and toss it in the trash. You waste no time swinging the bathroom door open with force, causing a gush of wind to blow past Seokjin who was walking by. He stops in his tracks, jumping slightly upon seeing you open the door so abruptly.

You look up at him and smirk. “What?” He asks, confusion written all over his face. “I did the thing Jin.” You say proudly. This caused Jin to tilt his head to the side, even more confused than before. He had no idea what thing you were talking about. You stretch your leg out in front of him, trying to give a hint as to what you’re so pumped about. “Y/n, what are—“ You cut him off before he can ask his question.

“Go head, touch it. Feel how smooth it is!” You say happily. “Ahh, you’ve shaved your legs again…” Jin says in realization. He chuckles and lifts his hand to run it up your leg. You can’t hide the shiver you feel when he touches you but, you try your best to ignore it as you have a very important task at hand. “Smooth, isn’t it?” You ask eagerly and Jin smiles at how cute you always are when you’re excited about something, even something as simple as shaving your legs. “Very smooth Princess.” He compliments you sweetly. You smile gratefully at him.

“I have to tell the world!” You shout as you run off down the hall to Yoongi’s room. Jin watches you, a fond smile graces his face as you disappear around the corner.

You make it to Yoongi’s bedroom door. You don’t even knock, excitement making you forget your manners. You twist the knob and push his door open to find him in bed, the covers pulled up to his shoulders. Is he sleeping? You think to yourself.

“Yoongi…” You whisper, not wanting to disturb his rest but also wanting to show him the master piece that is your hair free legs. “Mmh” He hums in response and you smile brightly and hurry over to his bedside. “Yoongi?” He pulls the covers down a bit. You can now see the back of his head. You smile even wider at his messy bed hair. He’s so cute. You think.

“Were you sleeping my love?” You ask sweetly, suddenly feeling bad for waking him up. “I was about to.” He says, not budging to turn around and face you.

“Okay, I won’t keep you too long… I just want to show you something.”

“What?” He grumbles sleepily. You prop your leg up on his bedside table, your foot hitting the tabletop with a bang, rattling the contents of what’s on the surface in the process.

“I SHAVED!” You say enthusiastically. “Feel it.” Yoongi groans. “Seriously?” He asks. “You’re disturbing my sleep for this?… Again.” You pout at him, not that he can see it but you’re sure he can hear it in your voice. “You weren’t sleeping yet!” You semi shout.

Yoongi groans again in response, he grabs his covers and tries to pull them over his head but you stop him, pulling the covers from his grip before he can hide from you.

“Just feel them! You won’t regret it.” You say confidently. Yoongi sighs and turns to face you. He looks at your leg on his table then looks up at you. The look on your face makes his heart twitch in his chest.

Yoongi can never resist you. Not when you look at him the way you do. Your eyes are so bright and full of happiness. He knows it’s a ridiculous thing to be excited about but you’re excited nonetheless and he won’t take that away from you.

Yoongi takes his hand lazily from under the blanket and runs it up your leg quickly, going over your knee towards your thigh. “How does it feel?” You ask. Your voice is hopeful. “Soft…” Yoongi mumbles.

“Very soft”

“I know!” You beam at him and he can’t help but smile at you for a minute before kicking you out his room.

“Now go Kitten… So I can sleep.”

“Okay!” You say obediently. You lean down and kiss his cheek. “Sleep well love.” You say before exiting his room.

You bounce happily down the hallway to find your next target. You make your way into the open living room and kitchen area. The first person you see is Hoseok, standing behind the kitchen island.

You clear your throat to make your presence known and he looks up. You smirk at him and he raises a curious brow at you. “What’s that face for Angel?” He asks and you waste no time striking a pose. You bend your knee and point your toe like a ballerina, to show off your smooth leg. “I shaved…” You say. Your voice is low and the words come out more seductively than you expected them to. “Do you wanna feel them?” You say, before throwing your hair over your shoulder confidently. You wiggle your eye brows at him flirtatiously and you can’t tell from where you’re standing but Hoseok’s breath stops for a second because of your actions.

Hoseok was used to this behavior from you but every time you showed him this side of yourself… This flirty, sexy side, it shocked him and made his heart flutter like it was the first time he was seeing you act this way.

All he could do was nod his head eagerly in response. You beckon him over with your finger and he was quick to move around the island to walk over to you.

Hoseok stands in front of you and you instantly lift one leg up and wrap it around his waist. He takes his hand and places it under your thigh. He slides his hand down, following the curve of your leg wrapped around him. “So soft baby.” His voice is almost a growl and the sound of it shoots right down to your abdomen. “Thank you.” You whisper back.

You don’t realize how close the two of you are until you feel his breath fan over your face. You look up at him to see that he is already gazing down at you with hooded eyes.

“I bet they’d feel so soft against my face while I buried my head between them.” Hoseok says and you gasps at his sudden filthiness. “Will you let me test my theory?” He asks while gripping the back of your thigh, using it to pull you closer. “Hoseok” You say breathlessly. He smirks at you then leans down towards you, his lips graze yours and just as you lean forward to seal the kiss, a loud voice booms through the room.

“YAH! NOT IN THE KITCHEN!” Namjoon shouts and both you and Hobi turn your heads to see Namjoon stepping out of his bedroom across the hall. Namjoon’s voice gets ahold of everyone else’s attention.

Jimin steps out of his and Hobi’s shared room.

“What’s going on?” He asks.

“Namjoon is scolding Hobi and Y/n for having sex in the kitchen.” Jungkook fills Jimin in before pressing playing on the video game he has hooked up to the living room tv.

“Again?” Jimin asks. You can tell by the tone of his voice that he isn’t in the least bit shocked by what he’s hearing.

“Are you kidding me?” You say in disbelief. You can’t believe how dramatic Namjoon is being about simply kissing Hobi near the kitchen and you can’t believe that the rest of the boys are believing him so easily.

“First off, we weren’t even having sex.” You defend yourself and Hoseok. You hear Hobi mumble “Not yet.” beside you but you say nothing about it, not wanting to bring more attention to misunderstanding at hand. “And secondly, we’re technically not even in the kitchen… We’re around it… So you’re wrong!” You say, directing your attention to Namjoon.

You unwrap your leg from around Hobi and he groans at the loss of contact with you. You kiss his cheek as an apology and walk towards the other boys.

“Since I’ve gotten everyone’s attention! I have exciting news.” You say, clapping your hands together wildly. “What? Did you shave your legs again?” Jungkook asks nonchalantly, not taking his eyes away from the tv screen. You look at him in shock.

How does he always know everything I’m about to say?

You’re convinced that Jungkook is psychic but of course he denies it whenever you ask, telling you he just has common sense.

“How did you know?” You ask raising an eyebrow at him. “Well, word travels fast in this house…” He starts. “Plus, I heard you when you asked Hobi to touch your legs so I figured.” He explains. “Oh…” was all you manage to say.

Jimin laughs in the corner at the disappointment on your face. “He’s not psychic baby. Let it go.” Jimin reminds you and you roll your eyes, choosing to ignore the obvious and think what you want instead.

“Why do you always force us to touch your legs after you shave?” Namjoon asks, bringing the attention back to your seemingly never ending task, which was to get all seven of your boyfriends to feel your smooth, freshly shaved legs.

“Force you? Don’t act like you don’t enjoy running your fingers across all this smoothness.“ You pose again, kicking your leg out earning another laugh from Jimin.

“You don’t ever have to force me to touch you.” Taehyung says. “Come here, let me feel.” Tae sits up from his lying positions on the couch and pats on the spot next to him. You smile and make your way over to him, plopping down beside him. You kick your legs up on to Taehyung’s lap. He instantly begins to run his hand up and down your legs. “Wow…” He says dramatically.

You know he’s being this extra just to make you happy and you appreciate it more than anything. “Smooth right?” You ask, already knowing he’ll tell you exactly what you want to hear. “The smoothest and prettiest legs in the world.” You smile at him and remove your legs from his lap.

You get on your knees and scoot closer to him. You place your palms on Tae’s thigh to balance yourself before leaning forward to leave a sweet and short kiss on his lips. “See this is why you’re my favorite.” You say loud enough for the others to hear. Tae gives you his signature boxy smile before kissing you again.

“HEY!” Jimin and Jungkook whine in unison. You look at Jimin first then at Jungkook.

“Well maybe if you guys appreciated the hard work it took to make my legs this smooth then I’d have no favorites.” You say jokingly.

“I didn’t say I didn’t appreciate them babe.” Jungkook pauses the game and crawls over to where you’re kneeled on the couch. He lifts his hand and runs his long fingers over your thighs. Jungkook gasps at the feeling of your smooth skin under his finger tips.

“How’d you get them this soft?” He asks, genuine curiosity in his voice. “It’s a secret.” You say teasingly. “I want to feel them!”Jimin requests in a child-like manner before walkinf over to where Jungkook is still rubbing your thighs admirably. You smile and move away from Jungkook’s feather like touching to stretch your legs out for Jimin.

Jimin uses both hands to rub up and down the whole length of your legs. When his hands come back up, he slides his fingers into bottom sides of your shorts, wanting to feel as much of your skin as he can. “Soft enough to kiss…” He leans down and plants a small kiss on the skin above your knee. “And lick…” He adds. Jimin dart his tongue out his mouth, ready to lick up your thigh but Hoseok voice from the other side of the room, stops him.

“Don’t even think about it Park Jimin. I’ve already requested my face be buried in between her thighs tonight.” Hoseok says from the kitchen. He’s leaned against the counter, watching the scene play out in front of him with his arms crossed over his chest. Your face heats up a bit at his bluntness. “No fair. You and Taehyung had her last night.” Jimin pouts and your eyes light up at how adorable he looks in front of you at the moment. You can’t resist kissing his plump lips so you don’t. You lean down to peck his lips. “You can always come join us Chim.” You whisper so only he can hear. Jimin smirks at you and you give him a wink in response before looking back at Namjoon.

“You’re the only one who hasn’t touched yet.” You say to him.

You wonder what’s taking him so long to get a feel but you’re determined to make him touch your legs before the night is over.

“You’re missing out Joonie!” You try to encourage him. “I’ve touched your legs a thousand times before Babygirl.” He reminds you and you cross your arms over your chest, not happy with his answer. “This time is different! They are ten times smoother.” You protest. You turn your body around so that your back is facing Taehyung. You lay back, resting your head on his lap. You then throw one of your legs up in the air, pointing your toe again. “Come on Joonie. You know you want to.” You say teasingly, wiggling your foot in the air.

Namjoon chuckles and shakes his head at your antics before walking over to you. He reaches his hand over the back of the couch and runs his finger up your calf. “You’re right Babygirl, they are ten times smoother.” He says, smiling down at you. You grin widely, eyes closing tightly as you nod your head.

Mission accomplished and you are so content with life right in this very moment.

“Told you so!” You beam. “Ahh, so cute!” Taehyung says while looking down at you. He leans down to kiss your forehead.

“Okay, you’ve shown everyone your smooth legs… Time for me to play in between them.” Hoseok says, walking over to you. He grabs your hand and pulls you off the couch before the other boys could protest. Hoseok has already made it to his bedroom door with a tight grip on your wrist. Before you make it all the way inside, you stop in the door way and turn back, locking your eyes on Jimin.“You coming baby?” Jimin’s eyes widen slightly before they fill with lust. He jumps over the back of the couch and runs to you. You giggle at his eagerness. The three of you disappear behind the door. “Why did she only invite Jimin?” You hear Namjoon complain before the door closes. You quickly poke your head back out. “Because Namjoon, Jimin appreciates my shaved legs!” You shout then turn around and close the door.

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bytheanchorarchived · 5 years

Photo

Hey, guys, B here. 2018 has been a pretty bumpy year for a lot of us, including me. It was an year of many battles, and some disappointments, and yet full of trying and hope. It has also been the year when I met, or got closer to a lot of people who’ve made me so happy, and helped me through the way, in real life, and also just inspiring me on this blog, and making me feel appreciated and talented. I know a lot of people make this distinction between internet, and real life friends, but I wanted all of you to know I never have, and I never will. Friends are friends, it doesn’t matter to me how we met, or how we communicate. It was thanks to them that I’m still here and that I grew to feel confident enough on my portrayals to love them, and a bit more of myself too. And that means everything. From those, some, are not around anymore, or might not be for a while, but I still wish them to know one day what they’ve meant to me, and take that feeling with them as they move forward. That’s all I can wish for all of you, that I can be a part of any happy memory you have in the future.

I also hope 2019 can be a happier year for all of us, and that at least we all get closer to our dreams, one step at a time. And as a last note, I hope you can forgive me any screw ups I might have made, or just still remember the good things too, and hope to be better myself on the coming year.

Happy New Year!

there's glitter on the floor after the party .

✲ @angelavenged ✲

dani, thank you so much for coming into my life, and helping to light up the end of this year. thank you for reminding me why i love isabelle so fiercely, and for speaking out about her when this fandom needs it so much. thank you for listening to my ramblings about the lightwood siblings, and for boarding the crazy ships with me, that i’ve always secretly loved in my heart. thank you for sharing headcanons with me, and discussing minute details of the book that mean the whole world to us, and making me feel like there was someone there with me to treasure every bit of it. thank you for being a light as bright and bold as isabelle, and i can only say i hope you will keep on writing her, and lighting up our dashes with her on the next year and for a long while yet.

✲ @cateyeswarlock / @headarcher ✲

i’ve said this a few days ago, and the more time i get to spend with you, the more true this becomes, but you are one of the gentlest persons i’ve met. we haven’t talked for long, but you are a bright, enthusiastic presence on my dash, that always makes me smile. thank you for listening, for being kind, for being so engaging and easy to plot with, and just try new things with. thank you for sparkling like magnus on our dashes, and being as comforting as alec to have around.

✲ @dnteverdoubtme ✲

andy, meu amor. i’ll always be thankful to min for introducing us. you waltzed into my life, when i most needed to feel wanted, and it was exactly what you did. at first i was afraid to mess it all up, but the more we talked, and the more we interacted, the more at home i felt. you filled my days, and long waking nights with magic, never turning any idea away, building new worlds with me, new characters, making me feel excited, and happy to be here. you gave me purpose, and kindness, and made me feel alive in days when i just really didn’t. you made me love creating aus again, and brought back the joy of rping for rp’s sake, and just having the pure joy of knowing your portrayal was loved, and that there was someone always willing to explore it with you. you made me smile when i was heartbroken, listened to me without judgement, and gave me endless stories to read that we created together, whenever you weren’t around. you encouraged me to dream, and plan, and try new things, and even if some of them didn’t work out, you made me feel strong enough, and like i had someone to lean on, so that i could be brave to want them in the first place. you truly made me feel like my jace has a home, and like maybe i did too. i love you beyond words, and hope you can know that, and know that you and your alec hold a precious spot in my heart, and i’ll always carry you with me.

i'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day .

✲ @edomsmagnificent ✲

we’ve only just started, but what’s more wonderful than talking with someone for the first time and feeling as though you’re just meeting an old friend? since we started really talking, and interacting, this end of the year, you’ve immediately made me feel comfortable, excited to write, heard, and supported. thank you for being so open and easy to talk to, plot with, thank you for being just as excited as i am about ships, and being so willing to share your talents with me. i hope we go on to write a lot more together on the year to come.

✲ @erosbuilt ✲

cy, i don’t know if i was ever able to give you back even half of the excitement, care, joy, and encouragement you’ve given me, but i hope i was at least able to make you feel a bit as loved. when you met me, i was going through one of the hardest moments of my life yet, and for the first time in a long time you gave me back the spark to write. you made me feel praised, cherished, and like my portrayal was somehow unique and special, and that so was i. we spent so many nights up together, just writing, and talking, and sharing, and developing new worlds at light speed, and i rediscovered what it felt like to truly love a fandom based otp so much it hurt. i found that passion again with you, and it was truly when jalec latched onto my heart, for good, and for months i could not think of them without thinking you and i. you made me excited to lose sleep writing. you made me proud of every little line i was creating, and as though what i was doing was important, and it mattered. you shared your life with me, and made me feel as if i knew you better than anyone. you made a terrible patch a lot easier, and i know it wasn’t always easy for you either, but i truly hope somehow i might have eased some of it too. you listened to me, even when it was hard for you, and you made me feel special, and actually worthy of some kind of admiration, like i hadn’t believed in for a long time. i will always be grateful for meeting you, and for everything you’ve given me, even in a short time. i know i wouldn’t have come to feel competent, or even mildly like i know what i’m doing in writing in this crazy language, if it weren’t for your encouragement, and i hope you know that, even if i can’t always be as equally deserving in everything. you’re someone whose strength i admire, and you’ve come so far on your own hard work, and i know you’ll keep doing so on the time to come. i hope you always remember those first couple of months when we lived and breathed a ship and bonded fast over screaming headcanons at each other, and mutual cherishing. i know i always will.

✲ @erchommai ✲

so, though i’ve seen you around for forever, we haven’t really interacted until lately (apart from the middle of the year when you first reached out to me, just to be nice, and comfort me, and if that doesn’t say everything idk what does), and all i can say is, what a waste of time that was. i was so intimidated, but from the first time we started talking, all i felt was welcomed, and that somehow you were as excited as i was about writing together, or just talking the books and headcanons and theories with each other. there’s no better feeling to get us bubbly and happy, imo, than finding someone that allows us to express ourselves and responds with the same openness and enthusiasm. it makes us feel less alone, and like we’re anything but dumb for liking what we like, and treasuring what makes us feel good. so thank you for being already such a great rp partner, and for being just such a sweet person to talk to. you definitely made a hard end of the year better for me, and that is everything. i wish for a new year of hopefully more writing for us, and for getting to know you better, and for you a year of happiness.

hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you .

✲ @fairisfair ✲

d sweet. i know we haven’t written in a long time, but how is it that it’s so easy still to just get back into the universe we created together and start typing? you’ve made me so happy for such a long time, and even now just seeing you on my dash feels like being home with an old friend. you treasured my characters in a time when i wasn’t sure they were all that treasure worthy. you welcomed all of my headcanons, and character build, and gave me yours, and somehow made it all even better than when i’d started. you helped me consolidate so much of my portrayal of seb and sidney and made me feel like they were truly loved, and for that alone i will always love you. i wanted to say thank you for coming all this way with me. thank you for never forgetting me even when rp drifted us apart, thank you for still after all this time making me feel treasured and loved and wanted around. you helped me improve my writing like no other with endless complexes threads, and your replies always gave me a reason to smile. it’s like from day one we were dancing a dance we both had already rehearsed and when we write together it’s magic. that is so special, and so rare to find, and i hope no matter what we can stay connected in the times to come. i love you, always, and wish you to feel just as treasured as you go on, as you’ve made me feel. thank you for all of it.

✲ @fierccisms ✲

you were one of the first people to listen to me babble on about my childhood lightwood headcanons. you talked to me about their inner relationships, and you let me strengthen floating ideas into actual portrayals. you talked to me about izzy, and helped me build mine up, and make her strong. you were so kind and such a good presence on my dash, and so easy to talk to. i know we haven’t talked in a while, and sometimes things get hard for both of us, but i just wanted you to know that you are such a wonderful person, full of enthusiasm and generosity. and i truly hope you go on finding more people that will treasure that and make you feel as welcomed and happy, in life, as you’ve made me, in a strange fandom. thank you for everything.

✲ @heartguided ✲

clary, sweetheart. i adore you so much. i know it’s been a while, but i hope you don’t forget it. you were the first person to make me feel like my jace portrayal was any kind of special, or different. you were the one who opened the doors of the fandom for me, when i was still tiptoeing my way in, and trying to figure it all out. you made me feel valued, and gave me strength to be bolder and reach out to people i was too scared to reach out to, before. you made me feel like i was a part of it, and i’m certain i would had never made quite a few of the friends i did if it hadn’t been for you giving me a chance. you are such a talent, and such a wonderful person, and were always only kind, and loving to me, and i will always carry that with me. thank you for sharing your alec with me, and i can’t tell you how happy i am that you’ve found your own happiness this year. you deserve all of the love and joy in this world, and i truly hope the years to come only bring you closer and closer to that happy ending. i love you.

please, don't ever become a stranger .

✲ @heosphors ✲

bekah, fierce warrior princess. you were such a beacon of light, and an inspiration to me in this fandom, but also in life. you are so young, and have so much more grit and maturity than so many people i know. you made me want to strive to better myself as a writer, as an rp partner, and as a person. you made me want to be brave, and rise up, and protect the things i loved, and share my voice, without being scared of what someone that didn’t like it might do. you made me feel courageous for the smallest little steps i took in real life, towards a life you were already building for yourself, even being so much younger than me. i have no doubts you’ll go far in life. and if you see this, i hope you know you are a wonderful, incredible, survivor, who deserves nothing if not the best in this world. thank you for sharing with me your light, your thoughts, your headcanons, your writing, your support, your example, and just the privilege of seeing your passion for the things you love.

✲ @heronsofprey ✲

javi. i know it’s been a while, but i also know you check on this blog every now and then, and i wanted to tell you how loving and incredible you are. it’s not always easy for me to be as supportive as i wished i could be, but i hope my shortcomings don’t keep you from always knowing what amazing times you’ve given me. you’ve shared so much love in writing with me, and so many times you’ve made me feel like a rockstar. you listened to me several times when i needed someone, and you made me feel like someone understood, even though you, yourself, always had so much more in your plate than i ever did, you never made me feel like an imposition for it. you are such a brilliant soul, and i wish with all my heart that you find only happiness, and love going forward. i know your creativity, talent, and generosity, alone will get you there.

✲ @idumean / @parabates ✲

monroe ♥. raziel’s beard what a waste it was to spend so much time intimidated as i did, and too shy to reach out, or even follow you, afraid of ghosts in my head that never came true. you are a joy to have in my life, and i want you to always know that. you are one of the best writers i’ve ever met, in any fandom, and i could only wish i had realized sooner that you are also one of the best people i’d ever have the pleasure to meet. so much undeserved crap was thrown your way this year, and yet, you continue to be such a source of light, understanding, caring, gentleness, that i can only be in awe of you. already you’ve listened to me in moments i thought no one else would, and you helped me through a couple of the worst nights i’ve had this year, and i can only hope i’ve managed to help you too. you’ve given me this welcoming feeling and made me excited about this blog again. you made me want to write when i thought i had lost my muse, and made me feel special when i wanted to quit. i still don’t understand how someone as great as you can be this humble, but i can only hope you never let it overpower you knowing how amazing you are. how deserving you are of all good things in life. you are so quietly strong, so beautifully resilient in the face of so much, and often i just sit here and wish there were better ways for me to express how much i love and cherish you. i look up to you, as a writer, and as a friend, and if nothing else sticks, i hope this does. i love you. i wish for a new year of writing together, and getting to know each other even more, and you always know that when you’re with me, you’re with someone who thinks only the best of you.

i’ll stay when it's hard or it's wrong or we're making mistakes .

✲ @inkfated ✲

moony, love. i don’t think i ever told you just how much i cherish you as a writing partner. i can’t begin to tell you how many times i thought of just giving it up, and you would come around with wonderful replies that made my heart full again, and made me excited to write again. you are so freaking delightful to write with, not only because of how amazingly talented you are at every single one of your portrayals, but also because you don’t just ditch things halfway through, or easily gives up on plot whenever there’s a bump on the road. instead, you take those and make the plot even greater. you listen to my simplest ideas and give them so much richness, complexity, and layers, in your writing, that i am always, always excited to write with you. you put so much detail and thought, into every single thing you do, and damn this fandom is just so lucky to have you?? i know we don’t always chat ooc that much, but i also wanted you to know that i often just stare at your posts on my dash, and smile, and it makes my heart warm, and i hope you know i think of you as an old friend. i hope you never stop writing your portrayals because they really are so special, and i specially hope we can keep writing together for a long time and you have as much fun with it as i do. i am thankful for every single plot we’ve ever had, and no matter how many times you hop blogs i will always follow you, because you make my rp life so much better every single day. thank you for keeping our verses, our threads, for always being up for new things, for bringing up your own new amazing ideas, and never making me feel like you’ve grown tired of our pairings, or that i’m the only one excited to write them. it means everything to me. thank you, and i hope you feel as cherished as you are in the year to come!

✲ @magnusbanedfromperu / @aestheticdriven ✲

nanda bee. i’ve said it a thousand times that i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, but how literal that has become through the last three years. i know we’ve had our ups and downs throughout it, but i honestly believe (and like to) that it’s only made us stronger, and you, of all people, know how much that means to me. so many of my relationships crumbled under the smallest obstacle, but somehow we manage to stay together and stay strong, no matter what. even when i want to give up on everything, you never give up on me, and i don’t know what i would have done the last years if it weren’t for you. you are someone whom i genuinely find myself trusting will be around, and likes being around me, and enjoys more than writing with me, and that alone is so much more than i’ve often had through the years. you are wiling to listen to me, even when it’s hard to, and you want to hold on to me as much as i want to hold on to you, and that makes everything easier. i don’t think i’ve ever had someone want to be my friend as badly as i want to be theirs, before you, and for that feeling to last for as long as it had, i hope you know how much i hold it dear. you’ve brought me so much happiness since we met, and made me feel strong, and heard even when i was hurt, or didn’t think that i could be. we’re so different in so many regards, but it just seems to make things better, and more often than not matter at all, when at the end of the day, we just want to be friends, and nurture what we have, above everything else. i am so grateful to you, repeatedly, and you gave me the strength and understanding i needed to even start to progress any, for the first time in my life. and, of course, you are one of the best writing partners i’ve ever had. with you, it doesn’t matter how long it takes, because things never go stale, never lose the excitement of writing, and it doesn’t matter how many new shining things we create, we never stop treasuring the first plots and verses that brought us here. you not only helped me feel like i even could write the characters i do today, and strengthen them, but you actually managed to make me feel as though our crackship is the most special one in the world, much more than even our canon otps, and how many times can you find that? that alone would have earned you a spot in my heart forever, even if it weren’t for how lovely you are, and always try to be, to me, no matter what. i love you. happy new year, and plenty times of accomplishments and happiness for you.

✲ @ofdemonicmagic ✲

richard, richie, our magnus incarnate. you know, i’ve said this before to a lot of people, but i’m not sure i ever said it to you. there are very few characters i love as i love magnus bane, and you, darling, are the most magnus bane person i’ve ever met, and as a result, i love you just as immensely as i would if he were real. you are bright, happy, talented as hell, loving, generous, always willing to help, extravagant, wonderfully excessive, amazingly bold, and beautifully full of life, and does that remind you of someone? i could not be luckier than to get to write with you, and, honestly, if it hadn’t been for you, i don’t know where my alec would be today. you helped me strengthen him, and make him into something solid. you made me feel like i had something special with him, and you gave me your jaw dropping portrayal in return, as though it was entirely natural that i could keep up. you’ve made me smile every single time we talked, ever since i met you. and though we’re not always as close as i’d wish us to be, i’m never sad about it, because every time you are around, you make it feel like we never stopped talking. more than verses, you helped give my alec a voice, no matter how extravagant our threads got, and that has brought me more joy than i can ever say. so thank you. thank you for listening to me when i needed. thank you for sharing your life with me, and being such a pleasure to have as a friend. thank you for making me feel like i had a real magnus bane in my life, and just thank you for existing in this world. you’re one of the greatest people i’ve ever met, and just the happiness of having you be yourself around my dash, would already be worth everything. i wish you a coming year with more love than ever, and that your life keeps blossoming with all the colors and happiness you deserve.

and I will hold on to you .

✲ @ofgoldenblood / @lilithblooded / @runedarcher ✲

min, sweet min, protective, incredible, stupidly talented min. i have never told you this, but you are the person that has made me feel safest, in a very, very, long time. it’s no wonder you play our shadowhunters so wonderfully, because you are just as fierce, strong, and protective as they are (except jon when he sucks). you’re the kind of friend i wish i’d had from earlier in my life, when i so needed to feel like there was someone who would defend me, and be there for me, no matter what. you are the kind of friend i will always wish to be closer to, and will always long to give back to all the support, care, encouragement, and loving you’ve given me. even when i didn’t know how to handle being cheered on, you were there. when i slipped on not knowing what i deserved, you were there. and when i thought of someone i adored with all my heart, you were there. you introduced me to amazing people who have made me so happy, and you shared them with me, without ever requiring anything in return. and most of all, you gave me yourself, your friendship, your loyalty, your compassion, your strength, and lord some of the best writing i’ve ever had the joy of reading. every portrayal you have, is at the top of my list, and for that alone i am so grateful. thank you for welcoming me into a side of the fandom i don’t know that i’d ever have reached if it weren’t for you. thank you for always being sweet to me, every time. and thank you for being one of the strongest, bravest, people i ever had to look up to. i wish you a happy new year, and for the days that come to only bring back all the rewards you deserve, for every bit of hard work you put in your life, and for everything you do for everyone you love.

✲ @pianokeysandbowties ✲

j, my angel. it’s funny how lucky i’ve been that so many people i’ve met are so much like the characters they cherish, and that i love. i have seldom in life met someone more suited to bubbly, loyal, happy, kind, talented, go-getter, strong, blaine anderson than you. you spoke to all my seb sides from day one, and never there’s been a day when you’ve showed me anything to doubt it since. you’ve been a happy presence in my life for i’m pretty sure over 4 years now, and you can’t go through that much time writing together, and talking to each other, without ending up treasuring that person in your heart. i know things get hard sometimes, and we both get a lot on our plates, but whenever we stop to talk to each other, it always feels like stopping to breathe. you make me feel like the most incredible seb that ever existed, and i hope you know i hold you just as high as my forever only blaine. you are one of the sweetest persons around, and i truly wish you to have a next year filled with light, and happiness, and care, and friendship, and the good things you deserve. i love you, j, happy new year.

✲ @seesbright ✲

dezz. lord almighty i think i need one of jace’s speeches to even try to start telling you how much i adore and love you. since i started on this website jace and i searched for our clary, both in writing, and in person, and though we found amazing people who were good fits, none of them were as instant, and perfect, as you. you truly are the bright, creative, loving, warrior of our hearts. just as jace can’t believe he has such a infinite good in his life as clary, i also still often wonder what i’ve done to deserve feeling as cherished and admiration worthy as i do when you’re around. you are so soft and loving, whenever we talk, and whenever you talk about your life, and the things and people you are about, and yet you can be one of the fiercest people i’ve met when any of those things or people are threatened. you carry all of clary’s best features, and the best one of all, is, no matter what life throws at you, it only makes you stronger and brighter. and how i admire you for it. you never give up, even if at times you might want to, and that goes to yourself, and also to the people you love. whenever we talk, i feel like you’ll never give up on me, and from someone who’s seen so many people walk out, it’s the best feeling in the world. you always make me feel good, and wanted, and cherished, and i truly hope i can make you feel the same. it’s a privilege writing with you, and with your perfect clary portrayal. it’s a privilege talking to you, plotting with you, building headcanons together, and being able to call you my friend. i hope and know the new year will bring you everything you deserve, and you will find yourself being the happiest yet. i love you.

you and me forevermore .

✲ @seraphinam ✲

em, i know we haven’t talked for a while, but i wished you to know you are one of the kindest people i’ve met in my life. i am so proud of how far you’ve come in your own real life, how hard you work, and how many downs you’ve made into ups by sheer strength of character, and bravery. you are an incredible writer, and even more incredible person, and i know no matter what, you’ll do well in life. you treasure the important things, the things that make you happy, you look on the positive side of things so gracefully like i never could, and you enjoy each victory and achievement in the way we all should do. thank you for letting me know you, and letting me write with you, letting me rant with you, and being this bright star to everyone around you. happy new year, friend.

✲ @silvcrtm / @berkilausihir ✲

faith, i know you’ve said your goodbyes, and i don’t know if you’ll see this, but i wanted to say mine as well. i wanted to tell you, for all the time i’ve known you, you have never, ever, been anything but sweet and kind to me. you listened to so much of my character rambles, you talked them out with me, you answered my questions, you made me feel important and special, and you encouraged me when i most needed it. and i am genuinely so happy for where you are now, and the love you’ve found, and the future you and taylor have ahead of you. you both were so protective and kind and warm to me, every time we chanced to talk, and you’ve given me plenty of happy memories to appreciate in my heart. i wish only the very best to the both of you, in all the new years to come. happy new one, for now, and all the love!

✲ @vcrlac-archived ✲

talia, sweet friend, can you believe i was ever afraid to talk to you? there was once a time when i wouldn’t have thought you’d give me the time of day, and how wrong i was, and how glad i was to be wrong. i think there are very few people as genuinely kind as you are in this world, and there is nothing i wish for more than that you never lose it, and that you have every bit of it rewarded in your life. never once, ever, since we met, have you made me feel judged, or lesser, or like i was annoying you. on the contrary, you have made me feel the most welcome, comforted, and so damn understood, when i was most hurt and in need of a friend. whenever i look back on our talks, be it about meta, books, life, or trials and tribulations, all i feel is warmth, and i will always cherish you for that. there are so few people in this world that have never made me feel scared, or afraid, and you are most definitely on the top of that list. even when you couldn’t understand what i was going on about, even when you disagreed, you never did so in harsh way, you never made me feel like that meant i wasn’t doing good enough. you always, always, had a sweet word for me, and you made me want to be a better, gentler, friend, every time we talked. on top of that, you have more talent in you than you could ever know, and for all of it i can only be grateful for having met you. thank you for being my friend, and teaching me about patience, tolerance, kindness, and gentleness. thank you for being one of the loveliest people i’ve ever met. happy new year, and that your years to come become busier and busier with the success you deserve.

don't read the last page .

people i’ve yet to really meet, or hope to get closer to in the coming year, people i admire, fangirl over, and hope to come to be good writing partners with one day. happy new year to all of you!!

✲ @argentelectrum ✲ @deservesthis ✲ @enoughrunning ✲ @inkedsnack ✲ @hellraiised ✲ @mossofash ✲ @snakedhand ✲ @stephenxherondale ✲

#𝕤𝕖𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕒𝕟 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙 ↬ b talks #happy new year 2k19 #please forgive me any typos this was a very long write #ily all #happy new year to all my followers and anyone reading this

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