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powerfulblob · 4 months

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puts on my clown hat

behold, as requested: The Trans Franky Essay. Like most of this is still jot notes and I wrote this when half-asleep so like. I don’t know

Please don’t shoot me.

Section 0: Most importantly...

Due to the Somerton stuff, I really am trying my best not to plagarize.

Unlike TikTok user @theyboss._.franky, I’m not planning to talk about if he’s trans based on physical features, personality, etc.

I’m here to talk about the narrative in particular, and allegory.

also kudos to @punkitt-is-here

[ID: A screenshot of an X post by @punkittdev that reads “this is also partially why i am a franky one piece trans man truther” It features Franky, a cyborg with a shirt that reads “I HRT”.with a sun between the words “I” and “HRT” Franky is a tall man with tan skin and blue hair, and has part of his arms replaced with blue metal with a star at the end. end ID]

Section 1: Cyborgs are inherently trans

I’m literally just going to link The transgender cyborg: an inexhaustive primer because the article does a much better job than I can, but to summarize:

Trans people are not only cyborg-adjacent because of the transphobes who call us that, but primarily because we are used in the same way cyborgs are in text: As a talking point, a disruptive metaphor about humanity as a whole.

That brings us onto the next place...

Section 2: Cyborgs are extra trans in this case.

The reason why I latched onto this in the first place is this character’s backstory.

Franky, who eventually becomes the Straw Hat’s shipwright, starts as a joke character in the Water Seven Arc.

He’s a 40-ish year old man who runs around in a speedo and shoots lasers at people, making a living off of dismantling ships.

However, as more information is revealed, the story starts to humanize and give him a backstory.

quotes from Chapter 358:

“My body got wrecked and parts of it weren’t working anymore... So I transformed myself using scrap metal. It’s how I survived!”

“Waste wood, scrap iron... I fit right in. First I’ve got to... ... Do something about this useless body of mine!”

What do these have in common? Retrofitting the self, and rebuilding the body. I think there’s something trans there but IDK

Deadnames (partially joking here): As said by another character “Cutty Flam of Tom’s Workers is dead. As long as you don’t use that name... ... There’s nothing connecting us” (for context, Franky was changing his name to evade government capture, but shhh let’s just pretend we’re talking about deadnames)

Actual Section 2: The Boats are trans now

speaking of the self as a construct...

I think it would be giving Oda too much credit for doing this on purpose.

But, he also accidentally created one of the best analogies I’ve ever heard for gender identity and against gender essentialism:

And of course, it has to be boats.

chapter 353: “Franky, there’s no such thing as blueprints for a pirate ship!! If the sailors who board that ship run up a skull-and-crossbones, then it’s a pirate ship. If they fly a seagull flag, it’s a navy ship. Build whatever you want to build, Franky.”

Like again: It’s the idea that there’s no instructions for a person, it’s what you decide to create out of oneself?

Alright. So, in terms of most manga, he actually does a rather good job. One Piece is primarily a series about misfits and outcasts: The series is goofy and over-the-top as a rule. So, one could argue the extreme way in which he portrays trans people up until the Wano arc is just a part of the series.

yeah idk

#franky #one piece #I guess #i don't know what the fuck I’m doing with this I hope it's good #will probably edit this later

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rotpupmutt · 6 days

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━━━━━━━━━ ✦ 𝑻𝑴𝑩𝑻𝑬 ✦ ━

ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ɢᴏᴛ ɪᴛs ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴ ᴍᴇ

✦ 𝑨𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕: hi, i'm rot! here to be unhinged. i block liberally, my block lists run super long. nine times out of ten, it's not personal, it's just for my sanity or mental health. please don't block evade to ask why you're blocked, you'll just be blocked again. i dabble in art, writing, and oc's. most of my oc's are fantasy based such as shifters, drow, witches, etc. obviously i'm a sleep token fan, but i also enjoy bmth, bad omens, and i see stars! very big fan of bg3 and skyrim as well.

my profile is pro kink, anti harassment over fictional content, darkship and comship friendly aside from a few things that just make me uncomfy. yall do your thing but away from me. just like i do my thing but away from people who don't like it ♡

pro choice

pro palestine

trans rights are human rights

pro kink

anti harassment

ʙᴜᴛ ɪ'�� ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙɪᴛᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴀɴɢᴇʀ

✦ 𝑰𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚

| Pronouns: he/him/it

| Orientation: queer

| Gender: idk a creature

╰ ➤ Birthday: 12/02/1999

ɴᴏ ᴀᴍᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴏғ sᴇʟғ-sᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ғᴜʀʏ

✦ 𝑫𝑵𝑰 𝑰𝑭

| Loli/Shota

| Zoophiles/Pedo

| Constantly posts drama, bewares, vents w/o warnings.

| MINORS. GO AWAY.

ᴡɪʟʟ ʙʀɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʟᴏʀʏ ᴏғ ɪɴɴᴏᴄᴇɴᴄᴇ

✦ 𝑺𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒔

| Toyhouse: rotpup

| Discord: rotpup

| Twitter: _puprott_

╰ ➤ 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈~

━ ✦ 𝑺𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝑻𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 ✦ ━━━━━━━━━

// Template by Kabukiiimono#3090 //

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maddmuses · 9 months

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mun is superior, pass it on.

Basics

Name: Madd, Maddlynn Maddithan, Maddie, Maddster, The Maddest, Waffles, Maddwaffles, Maddest One Around Age: 27+2 we ain't countin' them COVID years Gender: pebsi (fluid)

Favorites

Food(s): Barbacoa, Tacos, Tomato, Steak, Corn on The Cob, Salsa, Mint Ice Cream, Stroganoff, (still true af untouched except ig we can add caldo de res which I have been really about lately) Drink(s): Bepsi, Milk even tho it hurt me, Coors, Vanilla Bepis (even tho I can't fucking find it) Book(s): The Legends of Drizzt, Percy Jackson and The Olympians, The Heroes of Olympus, Assorted D&D Manuals, Any decent Graphic Novel, Strong Manga series; Hajime no Ippo, Eyeshield 21, Boku no Hero Academia, Bleach, Dragon Ball, Hikaru no Go, Yu Yu Hakusho, Yu-Gi-Oh/GX, Naruto, Slam Dunk, karate shoukoushi kohinata minoru, One Piece. We also addin' Chainsaw Man Favorite Author(s): R.A Salvatore, Ed Greenwood, Akira Toryiama, Tite Kubo, Masashi Kishimoto, Oda, Rowling (Pre-TERF) nah fuck that bitch not even pre-TERF she was wildly overrated, Tolkien Song(s): We don’t have time to be here all day, I’ll list some recent listens; Ocean Avenue - Yellow Card, No Flex Zone - Karmin and Watsky, I’m Something Else - SomethingelseYT, Dammit - Blink182, Punk Rock 101 - Blink182, Almost - Bowling For Soup, Stan - Eminem feat. Elton John, Absolutely - Nine Days, Simple Plan - Summer Paradise, So many Ninjasexparty songs, Rambe - Slow, Rambe - Don’t Greed, Zombie Love Song - YFM, Maroon 5 - Sugar, Reunion - Busted, Year 3000 - Busted Honestly those all slapped so imma add a few more recents: Montero, Good 4 u, My Nonfiction, Boyfriend Complex, anything by the nerdcore rappers

Movie(s): The New Guy, Spider-Man Homecoming (okay just that whole trilogy was best honestly), Spider-Verses too, Star Wars: A New Hope, Ed, Edd, ‘n Eddy: Big Picture Show, Hairspray (Musical)

TV Show(s): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Ed, Edd, ‘n Eddy, The anime adaptations of most of the manga I listed above, Ash Vs. The Evil Dead, King of The Hill, South Park (It fell off), Community, One-Punch Man, Gravity Falls, Scrubs, Venture Bros., Bob’s Burgers, Futurama, Daria, Star Vs. The Forces of Evil, The Boondocks, Saturday night Live when it’s decent, King of The Hill, Futurama, The Conners, As Told By Ginger, The Bear

Band/group(s): Busted, Blink 182, Maroon 5, Sum 41, Bowling For Soup, Ninja Sex Party Solo Artist(s): Rambe, Owl City, Billy Joel Place(s): Oregon, San Diego School Subject(s): Drawing, English, History Sport(s): Boxing, Karate, Football Male Actor: ?????????? Female Actor: ???????????? I CAN LIST CRUSHES I GUESS BUT YOU DIDN’T ASK I DON’T THINK ABOUT ACTORS THAT MUCH

Life

Best Friend: Brandon (no longer roommate, he still isn’t on tumblr) Significant Other: Am the Single Pringle ;'( Siblings: TONS Dream Job: Online Content Creator, Teacher, Professor Tattoos: Nada Piercings: Nope Languages: English, Spanglish, Spanish Lite

Tumblr

Reason Behind URL: Well Madd is a component to my standard web handle maddwaffles, for prefix being appropriated from an ex while we were dating (it was a cute thing because we matched) that just hasn’t really evaded me. When it was yallneedahero I would have a more clever answer for you. Reason Behind Icon: I love Isane Nami and you should too # of Posts: 20,535!!!! HOLY SHIT BEFORE IT WAS ONLY 5,235 I SCALE SO HARD Why You Joined: idk!?!!?!?!?!? # of Blogs: P much just this one now

tagging: @pick-your-poison-please @burdenedreverance @midnightactual @waspandr @thundertempo @linklewinklewoman @rangikuxmatsumoto @baiika @auburniivenus @badassbarmaid tagged by: stole from @orihimex and stealing again

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zzztobi · 2 years

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i dunno if ur reqs are open if they arent ignore this!!

but if they are, do you have any headcannons for komori? hes my fav 😫 they can b anything lol thank uu

a/n: my reqs are always open!! <3 tysm for this! since you didn't specify the gender i stuck with this, hope it's okay.

pairing!: komori x afab!reader

warnings!: a bit of spanking :p, clit play, kind of bondage? idk just a little of jealous komori <3

awww my sweet, cute and kind komori!! never thought about writing for him but here we go!

okay, first of all we all know that his soul is as pure as one of an angel. he's just too good, so sweet and kind to everyone. i don't think he would ever hurt a fly honestly!

next to his cousin, he's like the personification of the sun, with a smile so bright that could blind eyes and lighten anyone's mood. but, like everything in life, there can't be light without a bit of dark, right?

you, out of all the people that surround him, know it the best, especially when it's just the two of you together, alone. his charming smile and the creases around his eyes turn into a heart-stopping smirk and half lidded eyes.

his expression is so dark and serious that he doesn't even look like the komori you knew, or thought you did. sex with him has always been pretty vanilla honestly, what would you expect of him anyway? but that's something that changed today, when one of his cousin's friends, atsumu miya, got a little closer to you than necessary:

“you enjoyed the attention, didn't you? having miya flirting and telling jokes to you. laughing and giggling like a silly teenager.” komori said, looking down at you. your body was splayed on top of his thighs, your wrists locked in a tight grip with his belt on your back and the lower part of your body completely naked and exposed.

you shook your head, “no 'mori, i just talked with him and your cousin” komori landed a loud smack on one of your ass cheeks, leaving a red print and a tingling sensation. “what did i tell you about lying, baby?” he tsked.

his right palm soothed the burning skin, and slowly traced two of his fingers on the crease where your butt and thigh met. you shivered under his touch, goosebumps appearing on your skin. “i'm sorry 'mori. ” you whimpered.

“if all you wanted was attention, you could've come to me. all you had to do was ask” another hard slap. you tried to wriggle your way out but with your wrists trapped and his firm hold, you could not scape.

and what komori said was true, all you had to do was ask. for him, there was nothing impossible to do or get in this world if it was bond to make you smile. he would bring you the moon and the stars if you asked.

his fingers moved dangerously to your core, where wet folds were waiting for him. “fuck baby, you're soaked” he purred. komori touched your pussy teasingly, evading your throbbing clit. his fingers caressed every fold and crease, teased your hole that clenched around nothing pathetically.

“ 'toya please, touch me” komori hummed in response, and obediently started to draw steady circles on your clit. “see? all you had to do was tell me sweetheart. you know i'll give you the world”

your legs trembled when he fastened his pace, watching how wet you were and fascinated by the way your desperate hole clenched. it didn't take you too long to cum, not with all his previous teasing and the steady pressure he had on your clit.

“that's it, that's it. you're such a good girl, hmm? my good little girl.” his fingers didn't stop even after your orgasm, prolonging it as much as he could.

this was a new façade of your boyfriend that you didn't know about but were glad that you did now. after all, komori is a intense lover, not at all possessive or jealous, but a passionate one nevertheless.

#smut #haikyuu smut #hq smut #motoya komori #komori smut #motoya smut #[📁 andrea writes]#haikyu smut

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dany36 · 2 months

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well, i did it! i finished the main story for granblue fantasy: relink :) junk thoughts below (with spoilers)!

first, the things i liked!

the gameplay. i love love love how dynamic and fast-paced it is! i'm boring and my main character throughout the entire playthrough was djeeta: i tried playing as katalina but idk lol i think i was just too used to djeeta to fully switch to her. plus i think her CPU does a much better job of playing as her. when i played as io during one of her sidequests was also pretty fun but i just had to stick with djeeta! leveling up her Artes and then going ham on enemies with them all leveled up never got old. also doing link attacks and skybound arts is soooo satisfying, especially when it would deal the final blow to a boss! i have to admit at first it took me a while to get the hang of it, especially dodging/blocking enemy attacks and i kept going into critical condition or whatever, but once i got better at it, doing quests and fighting bosses was something i would really look forward to.

the bosses. ok i gotta say, granblue fantasy:relink has some of the best boss fights in a video game i've ever played. i mentioned it in my previous posts but i swear almost each boss had a different interesting gimmick instead of it just being "keep attacking until it's dead". i think my favorites were excavillion, when you fight the machines using rolan, fighting as bahamut, and of course the final battle where you're trying to rescue Id. like the boss battles were just so insane and a lot of stuff would be happening at once especially when they'd go into overdrive, but running around jumping trying to evade their attacks, although intense, is part of the fun of these battles!! idk i'm just really impressed with how dynamic these boss battles were and just gotta say hats off to the team that designed them, just super fun and satisfying to play through.

main character selection. ok as someone completely new to the series and not having looked up anything about this game beforehand other than what i saw in the official trailer shown in one of the state of plays, i had no idea you could choose the gender of the main character, so this was a pleasant surprise! i mean, other than her atrocious first outfit before you get to chapter 4 or whatever it is when you get your real armor, it's cool that you can just decide what gender your character is cus i mean, it doesn't really affect the story in any way so at least i'm not stuck with the default silent male protagonist :P

the music. coming from having played the last few entries of the tales of games, it was definitely great to hear some music that actually makes me feel something and isn't just background noise. i'll have to give the full OST a proper listen without me being distracted with a fight, but yeah for sure looking forward to reliving the experience with the music! edit: ok now that i'm listening to the OST with headphones on i can honestly say this is one of the best video game soundtracks i've ever heard in a game. like, i knew it was good and i knew there were some bangers in there but my god i just wasn't paying enough attention to it because i was too focused on the battles. like yeah the folca theme and the first forest section you entered i remembered being so good but like. excavillion primal III. managarmr primal II. seedhollow castle battle. ruined city vallion battle. and i'm not even done yet. what the hell what the hell the OST alone is enough to make this into a fantastic game holy shit.

post-ending content?? ok i only did the first quest as Id but i thought it was cool that, although the main story only took me 19 hours to complete, it looks like there is a LOT left to do as part of picking up where rolan left off + new quests?? plus i still need to finish the side chapters for the characters i'm interested in, so yeah, even though i finished the main story, there's still much to do!

rolan. what a cool chill dude. i mentioned in my post that i thought it was really neat how he turned out to be one of the most powerful characters in the game (i thought he was going to betray us or something), and was so sad when he first "dissolves" when fighting angra. i thought it was Id who was going to be sacrificed at the end but, glad that Id joins the party even if that means that rolan is now...floating in between dimensions or whatever. but don't worry, we will save you, mr fix it dude!

the story. again, as someone completely new to the series, i think the game did a pretty good job at catching you up with what happened in the previous game and giving you the background story of each of the crew members that are already there. and even so, the main story that develops throughout the game was interesting enough to keep me hooked. i mean it's nothing out of this world like i'm used to with other JRPGs i've played: there wasn't really any character development other than Id and MAYBE Rolan (Zathba also?? idk), since the crew that you're traveling have already traveled together in the previous game so they all know each other and whatever development had to happen happened in the first game (from what I understand), so i mean, i guess that was also different but can't complain too much since it looks like this game was born from a mobile game.

ok just something i thought was cool was in the final battles where your former enemies (i forget their names...it's the sword lady and the huge dude) join you in the fight and THEN zathba + other people you helped along the way bring their ships and help you against angra...like...damn, that shit was cool! another instance of these boss battle keeping it interesting!!

and now....for the things i didn't particularly like + other misc. thoughts.

the character side chapters. ok i think the first two or so of each starting character are great for catching up us newcomers, but then after that....idk, i wasn't really interested in the story that they'd be trying to tell. like, i know i'm not done with all of the chapters for any of the characters, so my mind might still change, but so far, not really impressed lol. they aren't really engaging enough for me yet and can...actually be quite boring with the storytelling! but oh well, we'll see if my mind changes once i'm done with the starting characters quests!

the overworld. i can't say i really missed having an overworld that would connect all of the levels. thinking back, most of the overworlds of other JRPGs i've played are quite boring to traverse through and the only reason you go through them is for treasure or finding new armor, which here in granblue you get them through quests. so, while not having an overworld is not something i'm used to, i'd say for this game it was fine not to have it.

the town sidequests. i mean, they're your typical fetch sidequests/defeat X monsters which don't really involve any interesting engagement with the NPCs that are requesting your help, so i'm a bit disappointed that that's all these sidequests are instead of something a bit more appealing.

the characters talking during boss fights. A LOT. like, i decided to play it in japanese and man, sometimes it'd be hard to keep up with what they were saying + paying attention to what's going on in the battlefield. especially in the last battle lol rolan was going on and on about...idk SOMETHING and i'm out here trying to stop Versa from fucking destroying the world haha. i mean just a minor nitpick but yeah

ok this is getting longer than i thought it would lol but despite the few negatives there at the end, i gotta say, i'm now a fan! i DOUBT i'll play the first granblue since...it looks like it's a turn-based game and i am terrible at those, but i'm really looking forward to where the series goes from here! i'm glad i decided to pick this up and kinda regret not getting the deluxe edition lol but oh well! there's always next time! :) but heck yeah, just overall had a pretty damn good time and can't wait to do more quests!

#granblue fantasy relink #granblue fantasy #gbf #gbf relink #junk

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ktae · 8 months

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i think i've been worried that i only think i'm trans bc being a man would be easier and that it's like a manifestation of internalized misogyny or something. or just the recognition of misogyny and an attempt to evade it. but even if that's the case (which like, most cis women today don't consider medical transition just to escape misogyny), so what. there are examples of people in history doing just that, and their identities are debated today bc it's not clear whether they were trans men or just trying to escape the confines of their assigned gender. so they lived happily as men. and of course i'm devoted to eradicating misogyny, but it's just not going to happen completely in my lifetime. so...idk. even if it IS a tactical decision (which i don't think it is, but i carry an unfathomable amount of self-doubt), if HRT would enable an easier and more comfortable life for me, why wouldn't i choose that path? i'm already so uncomfortable with my gender presentation and my body, i can't imagine hrt making it any worse. the self-doubt about whether i'm Really Trans or not has been holding me back but i think regardless of my gender identity i would be happier living as a man. and that's more than reason enough to just go for it after longing for it for so long

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blueskittlesart · 1 year

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do you have thoughts on 25ji

yeah currently my thoughts are that this mizuki card is fucking EVADING MY GRASP and i have farmed my account to death so im in hell. i need them so bad

ok actually though i think 25ji are REALLY well-written especially considering they're. in a vocaloid idol game. like holy shit how many idol card gachas can say they accurately portray disassociation?? mafuyu's entire thing is very well done imo and it's cool how they used the context of the rest of the game to portray her struggle. I think the empty sekai is SUCH an interesting dark take on the entire concept that this game has going. it's like, a dissection of the game within the game itself. VERY cool!! the one thing that's kinda sad to me is that even after completing the story and event segments the sekai still stays empty and sad forever :(( i wish they could somehow make it improve as mafuyu gets better :(( and mizuki is. agh. whenever any feminine character uses they/them pronouns i go insane but mizuki is SOOOO. AAAAGH. i'm really glad they decided to localize mizuki's pronouns and gender nonconformity the way they did in the eng version of the game. i honestly do not give a shit what their agab is or anything bc they are a feminine person who uses they/them pronouns which is something i did not know was allowed when i first started questioning my gender and it's so cool to see a realistic portrayal of what being a trans/gnc high schooler is like!! (the way the girls in mizuki's class are nice to their face but talk about them behind their back really. hit close to home. el oh el) the only member i really could go either way on is kanade (the literal leader of the group. lmao) idk she just doesn't really do it for me. i don't hate her or anything i just think she's kinda boring compared to the others tbh LMAO. also i find it hilarious that the only canonical vocaloid producers in the game all want to kill themselves. like. so true. way to know your audience sega

#i also cannot for the life of me keep their roles straight in my head. kanade composes ena does the art mizuki edits the videos...#what the hell does mafuyu do?? does she arrange and tune?? is she the lyricist?? if she does the lyrics who mixes and tunes???#i want to know which one of these bitches sits in front of their computer drawing curves for hours. a kindred spirit #asks

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cookingwithtoil · 2 months

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history of sexuality vol1 quotes and notes

"the pleasure that comes of exercising a power that questions, monitors, watches, spies, searches out, palpates, brings to light; and on the other hand, the pleasure that kindles at having to evade this power, flee from it, fool it, or travesty it. The power that lets itself be invaded by the pleasure it is pursuing; and opposite it, power asserting itself in the pleasure of showing off, scandalizing, or resisting. Capture and seduction, confrontation and mutual reinforcement: parents and children, adult and adolescents, educator and students, doctors and patients...all have played this game continually since the nineteenth century. These attractions, these evasions, these circular incitements have traced around bodies and sexes, not boundaries not to be crossed, but perpetual spirals of power and pleasure." pg 47, the repressive hypothesis - the perverse implantation

above foucault discusses one of the functions of power exerted from sexuality that are distinctly different from repression/prohibition. i think this speaks to the idea of "transtrenders" and "everyone thinking there's 13839 genders"; there is a pleasure we get from beiing able to decipher the "meaning" behind a person's sexuality. it is pleasurable to know, to categorize, because it means you are wielding the power of knowing

"it is possible that the West has not been capable of inventing any new pleasures, and it has doubtless not discovered any original vices. But it has defined new rules for the game of powers and pleasures."

^calling out biological essentialism as it's own fetish, it's own pleasure? idk but that feels right

"the obligation to confess is now relayed through so many different points, is so deeply ingrained in us, that we no longer perceive it as the effect of a power that constrains us; on the contrary, it seems to us that truth, lodged in our most secret nature, "demands" only to surface; that if it fails to do so, this is because a constraint holds it in place, the violence of a power weighs it down, and it can finally be articulated only at the price of a kind of liberation. confession frees, but power reduces one to silence; truth does not belong to the order of power, but shares an original affinity with freedom: traditional themes in philosophy, which a "political history of truth" would have to overturn by showing that truth is not by nature free--nor error servile--but that its production is thoroughly imbued with relations of power. The confession is an example of this."

i find this quote extremely confusing but he did have me in the first half. we are compelled to speak our truth as though speaking our truth sets us free; in reality, our truth is just a product of our circumstances and it in and of itself cannot free us of our circumstances. but we put emphasis on self-confession as if the practice of naming is what gives us power, but it only allows us to single out the lane of power relations that will then be imposed upon us. like, did i free myself by coming out as bisexual? or did i self-select the section of sexual rules and regulations i should be judged with? this also makes me think of the discourse around coming out; should you have to come out? it doesn't just matter if you're gay, you have to also say you're gay. the not saying/saying becomes part of your identity, your biopolitic

"it is no longer a question simply of saying what was done--the sexual act-- and how it was done; but of reconstructing, in and around the act, the thoughts that recapitulated it, the obessions that accompanied it, the images, desires, modulations, and quality of the pleasure that animated it. For the first time no doubt, a society has taken upon itself to solicit and hear the imparting of individual pleasures" -pg 63, scientia sexualis

so, while bitches have been fucking forever, the act of analyzing why or who we fuck is a relatively new phenomenon. like now, it's like, oh you didn't have a strong father in the home and that's why you want to fuck dudes whereas in Greece you fucked dudes and nobody tried to look inward as to why

"let us put forward a a general working hypothesis. the society that emerged in the nineteenth century--bourgeous, capitalist, or indsustrial society, call it what you will--did not confront sex with a fundamental refusal of recognition. On the contrary, it put into operation an entire machinery for producing true discourses concerning it. Not only did it speak of sex and compel everyone to do so; it also set out to formulate the uniform truth of sex. As if it suspected sex of harboring a fundamental secret. As if it needed this production of truth. As if it was essential that sex be inscribed not only in an economy of pleasure but in an ordered system of knowledge. Thus sex gradually became an object of great suspicion; the general and disquesting meaning that pervades our conduct and our existence, in spite of ourselves; the point of weakness where evil portents reach through to us; the fragment of darkness that we each carry within us: a general signification, a universal secret, an omnipresent cause, a fear that never ends. And so, in the "question" of sex (in both senses: as interrogration and problematization, and as the need for confession and integration into a field of rationality), the two processes emerge, the only always conditioning the other: we demand that sex speak the truth (but, since it is the secret and is oblivious to its own nature, we reserve for ourselves the function of telling the truth of its truth, revealed and deciphered at last), and we demand that it tell us our truth, or rather, the deeply buried truth of that truth about outselves which we think we possess in our immediate consciousness. We tell it its truth by deciphering what it tells us about that truth; it tells us our own by delivering up that part of it that escaped us...causality in the subject, the unconscious of the subject, the truth of the subject in the other who knows, the knowledge he holds unbeknown to him, all this found an opportunity to deploy itself in the discourse of sex. Not, however, by reason of some natural property inherent in sex itself, but by virtue of the tactics of power immanent in this discourse." pg69-70, scientia sexualis

okay okay okay. it's not the sex is wrong or forbidden. sex says something about you. and whatever it says, it's unavoidably true, and therefore dark and evil and worth examining. sex is so true that you might not be able to face it head on, so you have to zoom out and examine your sexuality in the context of others to make sense of it for yourself, and in learning more about other's sexuality, you learn more of a deep hidden truth in yourself. so it's not that sex itself intrinsically has all the meaning, we have assigned it meaning and in doing so created meaning.

"renounnce yourself or suffer the penalty of being suppressed; do not appear if you do not want to disappear. your existence will be maintained only at the cost of your nullification. power constrains sex only through a taboo that plays on the alternative between two nonexistences." pg 84, deployment of sexuality

"let us not look for the headquarters that presides over its rationality; neither the caste which governs, nor the groups which control the state apparatus, nor those who make the most important economic decisions directthe entire network of power that functions in a societt (and makes it function); the rationality of power is characterized by tactics that are often explicit at the restricted level where theyy are inscribed (the local cynicism of power), tactics which, becoming connected to one another, attracting and propagating one another, but finding their base of support and their condition elsewhere, end by forming comprehensive systems: the logic is perfectly clear, the aims decipherable, and yet it is often the case that no one is there to have invented them, and few can be said to have formulated them" -pg 95, deployment of sexuality

i think this is a precarious statement from a white man but i agree with the premise that the search is not for blame, but for understanding how these systems work, practically. it's not like one dude said these Blacks are lusty savages and everyone believed him, but that by believing Blacks are lusty savages they were able to justify the sustained oppression of a group of ppl. i like how he says it bc i think the haters will get it

"just as the network of power relations ends by forming a dense web that passes through apparatuses and institutions, without being exactly localized in them, so too the swarm of points of resistance traverses social stratifications and individual unities." pg 96

just good writing there. go off michael and patrick mooney. and THAT is what chris jamal evans is. a point of resistance traversing social stratifications and individual unities

"In a specific type of discourse on sex, in a specific form of extortion of truth, appearing historically and in specific places (around the child's body, apropos of women's sex, in connection with practices restricting births, and so on), what were the most immediate, the most local power relations at work? How did they make possible these kinds of discourses, and conversely, how were these discourses used to support power relations? How was the action of these power relations modified by their very exercise, entailing a strengthening of some terms and a weakening of others, with effects of resistance and counterinvestments, so that there has never existed one type of stable subjugation, given once and for all? How were these power relations linked to one another according to the logic of a great strategy, which in retrospect takes on the aspect of a unitary and voluntarist politics of sex?" pg 97, deployment of sexuality

michel really asking the hardhitting mf questions here

"discourse transmits and produces power; it reinforces it, but also undermines and exposes it, renders it fragile and makes it possible to thwart it" pg 101, deployment of sexuality

spittin

"Sexuality must not be thought of as a kind of natural given which power tries to hold in check, or as an obscure domain which knowledge tries gradually to uncover. It is the name that can be given to a historical construct: not a furtive reality that is difficult to grasp, but a great surface network in which the stimula- tion of bodies, the intensification of pleasures, the incitement to discourse, the formation of special knowledges, the strengthening of controls and resistances, are linked to one another, in accordance with a few major strategies of knowledge and power." pg 106

banger fucking definition here man

"On the contrary, the most rigorous techniques were formed and, more particularly, applied first, with the greatest intensity, in the economically privileged and politically dominant classes. The direction of consciences, self-examination, the entire long elaboration of the transgressions of the flesh, and the scrupulous detection of concupiscence were all subtle procedures that could only have been accessible to small groups of people." pg 120

tea tea tea. keep this in mind.

"one also sees it [sexuality] becoming the theme of political operations, economic interventions (through incitements to or curbs on procreation), and ideological campaigns for raising standards of morality and responsibility: it was put forward as the index of a society's strength, revealing of both its political energy and its biological vigor. Spread out from one pole to the other of this technology of sex was a whole series of different tactics that combined in varying proportions the objective of disciplining the body and that of regulating populations." pg146

respectability

"Broadly speaking, at the juncture of the "body" and the "population," sex became a crucial target of a power organized around the management of life rather than the menace of death." pg147

we don't really fear death in and of itself, but the imagined death of life as we know it. eh? is that something?

"We must not think that by saying yes to sex, one says no to power; on the contrary, one tracks along the course laid out by the general deployment of sexuality. It is the agency of sex that we must break away from, if we aim-through a tactical reversal of the various mechanisms of sexuality-to counter the grips of power with the claims of bodies, pleas- ures, and know ledges, in their multiplicity and their possibil- ity of resistance. The rallying point for the counterattack against the deployment of sexuality ought not to be sex-desire, but bodies and pleasures." pg 157, right of death and power over life

teaaaaaa

#foucault #michel foucault #history of sexuality volume one #sexuality #philosophy #notes #chris jamal evans

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monstrouslyobsessed · 3 years

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If we're allowed to request based on the concepts, can you please do more kitsune/fox-demon? Since kitsunes can shapeshift, maybe something slice-of-life. Person is walking around town trying to run errands or do chores in the house. Rescued kitsune is following after them in cute fox form (or whatever) being a trickster gremlin to people who are a little too friendly to their human. —anonymous

tw / tags: gender neutral reader, stalking, isolating, implied gaslighting, implied assaults, general yandere themes, sfw, unedited featured character(s): bara fox headed creature / kitsune

—note: i’m v so-so with this one but its all w/e. hope you enjoyed anyway~fyi idk what kind of deal they made so thats up to your interpretation(s).

》you’ve tried not to show it that you knew —knew that the fox was ruining your life —and there’s not a damn thing you can about it.

》ever since you were forced to make that deal with him, —just so you can live the same life you’ve always been living, —he all but moved in with you, hogging that empty room in your home you intended to make an office/studio out of. —…bastard.

》your area didn’t have that many foxes, even though it was so close to the eerie forest filled to the brim with them. —but there had been multiple sightings of a stray fox running around lately, laughing and crackling that awful iconic fox cry. —causing chaos by scaring the elderlies and children and leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. —no matter how hard the animal control officers tried to capture, it—he always evaded them. —you kept your lips sealed, of course. —no one would believe you that it was no ordinary fox. —better them as his main source of entertainment than you.

》but, the fox made for a great roommate, oddly enough. —as invasive and obnoxious as he was, the fox always cleaned up after himself —and did all kinds of chores so you’d be surprised with a sparkly clean home —and he was actually a great cook! —you never asked where he got some of his ingredients from. —you were 100% positive you never brought fresh out of river fishes —…or octopuses when those were relatively rare and expensive to purchase in your area.

》when you said invasive, you meant invasive. —the fox did not know the definition of personal spaces. —he always had to know where you are —he’d even break in your private bathroom time, just to see you! —the fox wasn’t very technologically aware, so he didn’t know how to use a phone —but he had his ways to bug the hell out of you. —his laughing howl was one of them, warbling out your name. —and showing up in where he was most unwanted, looking for you. —at your workplace, in grocery store, shopping mall, didn’t matter where, he’ll show up anywhere to hunt for you. —the fox was one hell of a clingy bastard.

》…give him some time, he’ll figure out how to use a phone though. —he might actually put a tracker on your device when he figured it out.

》as confident and bold as he looked, he did not tolerate having your attention being on someone else all that well. —he wasn’t as bad with visiting family members (if any) —but with friends and potential suitors…? —he’d grin and bear it, fooling even the skeptical you and… —tricks and hallucinations on them for days. —why, he would even go as far to shapeshift into a beautiful human figure (regardless of gender) just to seduce them —and pull all sorts of slanders on their person from what they “supposedly” did together.

》after several incidents involving (ex) friends and being ghosted, you started pointing your finger at the fox and accused him. —“i’m hurt, why did you think it was me, dear?” —you felt guilty more hurt he looked, he was so convincing. —feeding you half-lies and questions enough to make you to be sure he was innocent and you were wrong for blaming you. —after all, he only enjoyed pranking the animal control officers and some rude children. —there were nothing to be gained from isolating you, he said with that pearly white grin.

》it was him. it was him all along, standing over you —grinning cruelly at your wounded attacker —his claws and teeth were bloodied —and he said, “this one is mine and mine alone—a fool like you trying to take what’s mine, would only belong to worms and maggots.”

》the fox was hellbent on keeping you all to himself. 》and you realized that far too late.

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year2000electronics · 2 years

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also top 5 stupendium songs? if you dont mind sharing, i need them for inspiration reasons

this list is very bias.

1. fiend like me- i think there’s a couple of better ones writing wise but it’s my gender anthem, my credo if you will, where evil grows 2, also i really like the lyrics esp in the chorus (if all the worlds a stage, then i shall play my part~)

2. room for improvement- how the fuck is this so catchy.

3. losing my patients- the lyrics and vibe here are so fun esp to sing along to and the vibes of the music video are decadent

4. don’t let the bellhops bite- idk there’s just something about the syncopation of the chorus that gets me right here. easily a song about a hotel

5. nook line & sinker- they say of the fable that businessmen croon that dog may eat dog but he pays the raccoon filling u-

(honourable mentions: the other animal crossing songs (they’re good), it’s a joy (i like the verses a bit less but the chorus being styled after the beatles is REALLY clever), why did i say okie dokie (accidentally listened to it much one time so it’s evaded my top 5)

#mothra answers

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shadamyheadcanons · 3 years

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Birth, Uncle Eggman, and Shadamy Kids headcanons

This is all based on this post btw.

((Edit: I think you might mean this submission? Correct me if I’m wrong))

Pregnancy: So after 9 months of glorious, glorious pregnancy their due date finally came. Egg man actually showed up to the delivery room claiming to be Shadow‘s relative. It confused the hell out of the nurses as well as everyone else in the waiting area. The delivery was relatively smooth. Amy was a trooper although she immediately passed out after and gave Shadow a heart attack when he rushed in. He cried so much, even when Amy reassured him that she was fine. Eggman crashed in a second later immediately demanding saliva samples from the baby before being escorted out by security.

Uncle Eggman: Astounded by the little baby, Eggman immediately set to work giving the baby little tests. He promised Shadow that they were all safe and by no means would result in anyone getting hurt. That was the start of their bond or how Eggman dubs it, “partnership”. As much as he hated to admit it, the little baby was starting to grow on him.

Maybe later in their teen years, they prefer to spend time with Eggman because he’s a bit more lax on rules and “understands” them so to say. They pick up a little bit of robotics and Eggman’s starts to refer to them as his “protege”.

Shadamy Kids:

1st - “Thorn” (that’s their name now because I can’t keep calling them baby lol also the gender is up to the reader) was healthy and had already had their eyes open. Big, bright ruby eyes that mirrored their father’s. This only made Shadow sob more, bringing Amy in tow. The Thorn’s quills were still soft and had yet to be hardened. They shot downwards at the moment but some tips were starting to point up after they started to dry.

Thorn is indeed immortal and shares their fathers power of teleportation. Shadow taught them how to control that spark and was utterly impressed when Thorn managed to evade several of his attacks. Thorn is as speedy as their mother and can sense chaos energy which they honed in with the help of Knuckles.

2nd - “Thistle?” By now Eggman has improved his little experiment and managed to give the same process to the shadow and Amy’s second baby with only a small injection. The baby shared his mother’s green eyes this time with dark fur and bright stripes along his quills.

Since Shadow has some sort of psychic sense, Thistle has limited telepathic ability. He also shows a remarkable talent for tracking and hunting.

–

((It’s a little funny to me that Eggman literally is part of Shadow’s family, considering Gerald called Shadow his son and all.

Although Boom!Eggman is too soft for my taste, I do like the idea of regular!Eggman mellowing out somewhat and cooling it on the world-dominating attempts after a while, and having three super-powerful, immortal hedgehogs around to permanently stop him would probably lead to that. He’s got to have a soft spot in there somewhere.

Idk about anyone else, but thanks to the repeated use of singular “they,” my brain now thinks of Thorn as nonbinary. Hope you don’t mind, haha. I also particularly like their names because thorns and thistles are prickly and sharp–consistent with hedgehog quills and Shadow’s demeanor–but thorns grow on roses and thistles are flowers, so they go with the Amy Rose motif, too! And with Thistle having telepathic abilities, you can tell which family branch is headed in Silver’s direction, too ;)

Love these. Thank you!!))

#submission #shadamy #shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #sonic the hedgehog #anonymous

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morwensteelsheen · 3 years

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this is such an unnecessarily niche bitch

a lot of the trans faramir takes on here drive me nutso because they’re so… thoughtless? like, i have no beef with doing a trans faramir reading — and in fact think there’s a lot of worth to be explored there —, but there are so many weird transphobic elements to a lot of them that i don’t think people really think about? like there’s this notion that slapping a “trans” sticker on a character means you are absolved of engaging in transphobia, but i really don’t think that’s true and I think a lot of the implicit gender essentialism that goes on in specifically insisting that faramir must be mtf bc (movie!F, at least) is shown as visibly quite emotional is… not great, Bob, not great.

a far more interesting and far less politically fraught take is to talk about faramir as ftm, or wholesale nb! that, then, evades this weirdness about equating emotional availability with inherent femininity or whatever, plus fits more appropriately with his canonical portrayal. like, ftm faramir going guns blazing on gender, marriage, etc. in the same way he goes guns blazing on literally everything else is a far more justifiable take imo, and makes his and Éowyn’s relationship super fascinating and not — tbh — like some sort of weird “fix-it” for éowyn/LOTR generally not having “enough” women around. now obviously people can do really well thought out takes on everything so im sure there is a good take possible here, but it really feels like the vast majority of the ones ive seen are surprisingly thoughtless w/r/t dealing with the reality of transness and gender. idk. niche complaints from someone who spends too much time being a weirdo about their own gender tbh lmao

#emily vs the fandom

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4lix · 4 years

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hello, i’m so happy you’re making a comeback. since you’re in the mood to write abt chan, may i request a best friends to lovers trope?

friends to lovers ★ bang chan ↳ gender-neutral. fluff.

okay so falling in love with ur best friend is a big L but its one u are more than willing to take for christopher bang

first things first, chan loves people with his whole mf heart.

whether its family, friends, or romantic interests

so when it comes down to him falling for his best friend? idk if he’d really realize it unless someone literally spelled it out for him, he’d just mistake his affection towards you as just the same kind of best friend love he has for ˙his group members

he’d never think much about the fact that most of his song lyrics these days were getting oddly too specific in detail about a certain someone

or how whenever he felt down his gut reaction was to call you up because the sound of your voice seemed to make everything better

or how he really really likes cuddling with you after long days of practice

and when you stop by the studio when he’s stuck on a track and just pull him to the couch to lay down for a while to get a break from staring at that damned screen, he’d instantly relax in your hold, sighing in content as your fingers twirled around his curls

and yeah his stomach is filled with butterflies and his ears are all red all that corny stuff but you’re his best friend and best friends cuddle sometimes too right?

best friends also feel the urge to kiss one another on the cheeks? perhaps sometimes they fantasize about what it would be like to kiss each other on the lips?

ok maybe not.

chan knew some of his thoughts were a bit odd. but you were really pretty so it was understandable. you were his safe place and the closest thing he had to home besides his members.

unbeknownst to him, you were honestly no better, a bit more aware of the fact that you could possibly be in love with the idiot but you were still in denial nonethless

whenever felix or hyunjin would tease you about your relationship with chan you’d feign disgust like he’s my best friend that’s weird! but your cheeks are red anyways and you’re kind of stuttering and hey is it hot in here or what-

when you had tough days chan would spam you with encouraging texts, a million obnoxious emojis, memes, just anything to make you smile and it always always worked, just the sight of a notification from chan always made you light up but that’s what best friends are for right?

friends make the world seem brighter, that’s all chan was to you, a friend.

and chan cared a lot about his friends, so it only made sense..

but unlike his other friends, you always got special treatment

he’d give you gifts for your friendship anniversary despite all the suggestive looks from his group members, kissed your forehead when bidding you goodbye and always sent you good morning and good night texts each and every single day

he’d go out of his way for you always and all of that just seemed normal, natural to him. because he loves with his whole heart and he doesn’t even realize it

he wouldn’t really come to terms with things until one of the members like screams at him to just stfu already because he won’t stop talking about you and he somehow makes everything about you and it’s driving them insane

they’d be like we get it you’re in love with y/n shut up already

and he’d just be a stuttering mess like !! no im not !! and yet his heart is racing in his chest and everyone looks at him with an unamused glare

changbin would be like “everything you’ve written these last few weeks are all about them-”

felix would chime in like “you killed your phone battery texting them all day and then used my phone to call them so you could talk for three hours straight.”

jisung is like “yeah and you bought like ten different gifts for your friendship anniversary but you gave me a set of socks for my birthday-”

huh wait maybe he is in love with you.

“those socks were knitted and really nice.” would be his only line of defense

the rest of the afternoon the members would just tease him about all his lovesick puppy habits that he was completely unaware of

like how his face lights up the moment you walk into the room

or how he can never go shopping without picking up something for you because hey y/n would look really cute in this!

and that he even mumbles your name sometimes when he’s sleeping lord help the boy

things kind of go to hell because now he can’t look at you without blushing and stuttering

he’s panicking because how the hell could he have fallen in love with his best friend who probably only sees him as a brother? if you liked him back surely you would’ve let him know by now, i mean if he was as obvious as his members said he was with his feelings there’s no way you weren’t aware of his infatuation with you.

but you were on the same boat really, to you, it seemed as though chan was affectionate with everyone, he smooched jeongin’s cheeks every now and then, and the socks he got for jisung’s birthday were kind of nice? you weren’t that special right? there’s no way chan could fall in love with someone like you anyways... right?

you knew him better than you knew yourself so his odd behaviour definitely did not go unnoticed even tho your sheer lack of brain cells prevented you from realizing why he was acting odd in the first place

the good morning and good night texts stopped, the spams of memes stopped, it was just radio silence for a few days and it was starting to freak you out but it was close to the deadline for the new album so he could just be stressed and you could just be overreacting

you figured you’d stop by the studio at like ass o’clock like always with some takeout for chan because you knew he never ate much when he pulled all nighters, you even threw in some of his favorite snacks and energy drinks, bringing your laptop with you to get some work done of your own hopefully

you did your signature knock on the door before entering but chan still jumped at the sight of you, weirdly startled by your presence, avoiding your eyes and only managing to cough and give you a tilt of a nod in greeting before gluing his eyes back to his computer screen

your first initial reaction is did i do something wrong :( and you intend to ask chan about it but he puts his headphones in and seems rather busy, you remind yourself again that he’s just focused on the new album he’d never purposefully ignore you.

you’ll ask him later, taking a seat on the couch, scrolling through social media mindlessly as your thoughts can’t seem to drift away from the boy across from you and how fluffy and soft his hair looks today.

after a good fifteen minutes pass, chan still hasn’t touched the food you brought which leaves you no choice but to annoy him to ensure he takes proper care of himself. calling his name multiple times to no avail, you tap the space bar, pausing the track before removing his headphones.

“channie, you can ignore me if you want to but i won’t let you ignore getting your vitamins and nutrients. i know you didn’t eat dinner. so eat.” he’s still not looking at you, just nods, clearing his throat awkwardly before turning over towards the takeout you brought for him and taking a seat at the couch.

you follow behind him, sitting right beside him. just a week ago you were here with chan laying on your chest, watching tiktoks of cats but now here you were, in the same spot but this time chan was silent, closed off. the complete opposite to his usual warm and bubbly demeanor.

he didn’t even bother to deny the fact that he was ignoring you, he just ate silently and fear starts to consume you because maybe chan really was upset with you?

before you figured he was probably just stressed and overly focused on the track he was working on but now it seems obvious he’s blatantly ignoring you, not even sparing a thank you for the takeout which was really unlike him. he always thanked you for taking care of him with tight hugs and sloppy kisses on your forehead. now he didn’t even look at you.

half of you was agitated that he was giving you the silent treatment instead of just being honest with you about whatever was bothering him but the other half of you really wanted to smooch his chubby cheeks filled with rice because wow he looked really really cute.

as annoyed with him as you were, you couldn’t help but appreciate his bareface, it was you favorite look of all, when he didn’t look like a famous idol, instead just a regular boy with blemishes and unruly hair in grey sweats and a hoodie.

a grain of rice hugged the corner of his lip, you fought back the urge to kiss it away. he was so unfairly attractive it made you want to punch him

you lean forward, reaching out to him to wipe the stray food away but he evades your touch, leaving your hand raised awkwardly out in front of you in rejection. now he didn’t even want you to touch him?

“did i do something wrong?” you didn’t realize how hurt you were by his silence, by his disgust of you, how he felt like a stranger these days. you kicked yourself inwardly for sounding so broken but the tone of voice seemed to strike something in chan because he finally met eyes with you for the first time in what felt like forever.

“w-what no not at a-all what makes you think that?”

“chan you’ve ignored all my texts for the last three days. you haven’t talked to me in nearly a week and now you can’t even spare a hello when i come in? you’re even avoiding my touch like i have the plague or something.” guilt washes over him immediately and he puts down the plate of food and looks at you with those brown eyes that are all sad and regretful and you forgive him before he even opens his mouth because you’re just that helplessly in love with the idiot

“i-i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to, really, i just have a lot on my mind right now and i just...” he turns to look away again but you place your hand to his chin, turning him forward to meet eyes with you again, he doesn’t shy away from your touch this time

“chan if i said something or did something wrong that bothered you, y’know you can always talk to me right?” you said earnestly, cupping his cheek in your hand, he leaned into your touch, humming gently. relief enraptured your heart, along with warmth

“you didn’t do anything wrong, i promise.” his eyes don’t leave yours, nor does his voice waver, so you believe him

“then why are you ignoring me?”

“because...” he tries to get the words out but his brain is going a mile a minute and you’re really close to him. you’re turned to face him, sitting criss crossed, knees bumping against his, he can feel your body warmth and it’s kind of sending him into overdrive

��because?” you urge him further, unable to help your lips from curling downwards in worry. he’s silent still, biting his bottom lip anxiously and you consider giving up for a moment but then he pulls your hand away from his cheek, instead holding it tight in his.

“i realized something. the guys, they made me realize some things.” he starts, eyes flittering past each and every single one of your features, admiring them silently to himself. how did it take him so long to realize he was in love with you? you were beautiful, his best friend, his whole heart, his muse.

earlier, his eyes were glued to the screen because he was rereading the words he’s written over the last few weeks and he couldn’t quite believe he wrote lyrics that were literally entirely about you and he had no idea, just assumed he had some new rush of creativity or something.

of course he was in love with you, he always been in love with you.

“yeah?” you rub your thumb over his hand slowly in an attempt to ease some of his anxieties. whatever it was he needed to tell you, it was clearly taking a toll on him, he was fidgeting, sighing over in over again and shaking his head trying to clear his thoughts. you felt a bit bad, perhaps you were prying too much?

“look i just–– i know we’re best friends, and the last thing i want to do is jeopardize that so if what im about to say makes you uncomfortable or something j-just forget it ever happened okay?” unknowingly, you hold in you breath, fear for his next words knocking the wind out of you.

“i... i like you. like like you, and- i don’t know how to deal with it so i’ve just been avoiding you and i’m sorry- wait why are you laughing?” his eyebrows are all furrowed and his cheeks are bright red and he’s squeezing your hand in confusion and you just look at him and just die of laughter

why were you laughing? you weren’t sure. maybe it was relief? joy? just pure utter love for the idiot in front of you?

“channie-” you attempt, but your laughter still has control over your lungs so you just cling to the boy helplessly, looking up at him with so much happiness in your eyes that he can’t help but feel a bit hopeful that maybe this laughter is good laughter?

“why are you laughing! i just confessed to you, put my heart out on the line and your response is laughter?” he’s smiling despite the confused tone of his voice, nudging you playfully but you pull him into you, shoving your face in the crook of his neck trying your hardest to get out the last of your giggles. with one last deep sigh, you prepare yourself to finally give him a proper response

“i’m sorry for laughing channie i’m just really happy. and relieved.” you finally pull away from him, resting your forehead against his, cupping his face once again in your hands.

“i like you too chan, i’ve liked you for a really really long time.”

the smile that lights up his face is one you’ll never forget, his eyes practically disappear, his dimples protruding through those precious cheeks of his and you can’t help the small laugh in happiness at the sight

“thank god i was actually losing my mind you know, changbin and jisung have been making fun of me all week, clowning me for being a lovesick puppy.”

“is that why they’ve been wiggling their eyebrows whenever i walk by-”

“unfortunately yes.”

“chan you should’ve just told me!”

“yeah well! i thought you saw me as like a brother or something!”

“what- no! i’ve literally been in love with you since the moment we met you idiot-”

“yeah well i’ve been writing songs about you for the last month, songs that you helped with and you didn’t notice a thing-”

at that you just :O bc realization hits u like a train n yea wait a minute he was pretty obvious..

he just gets all red again and then you smile at him and he’s smiling back at you and with the dopiest grin on his face he’s like

“can i kiss u..” and u dont bother to reply you just grab his cheeks and connect your lips with his

the kiss is kind of a mess tho bc you’re both just so ridiculously happy that you can’t stop smiling so yea its not a proper kiss but its filled with giggles and each time you pull away chan only leans forward to peck you again and again because he cant seem to get enough really and he’s just so elated that he can finally do this as many times as he wants

in conclusion chan loml<3

requests are open! :) ↳ notes: tysm for all the kind welcome back msgs ily all sm omg <3 i ended up combining two requests as they were a bit similar i hope thats okay hehe <3 also sry if this is sloppy this is my first post in a long time & im kind of rusty .. whew

#bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan scenarios #bang chan imagines #bang chan requests #stray kids

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