#idfk what this is but here it is i guess
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And I'll make you a promise. I will never forget you.
Spirit World #6 by Alyssa Wong and Haining
#OBSESSED with stories that end this way/have this element btw#i just..... omg 🥰🥰🥰🥰#blah#panelposting#wait whats the spoiler tag people in comic circles use#its with the day of the week right#tuesday spoilers#or was it#wednesday spoilers#comics spoilers#bro idfk. ill just slap all of them on here i guess#when you read so many backissues you forget what the spoiler tag is ✌️✌️✌️#spirit world#xanthe zhou
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Thinking about how Purple's the only other stick we see actually use King's staff while it has a Minecraft block inside of it. Like Yellow tried to use it but couldn't even get the command block to work it seems when they had it in e25, but Purple managed to call some of that... shadow energy?
Like bestie what is that. That'd kill someone. Oh man.
#self post#avm#musing#idfk felt like capitalization i guess. lol#im exaggerating about the death but we also havent seen anyone else get hit by that kinda stuff i think?#and like#it seems to be more... intent based on how the staff works. So what exactly was purple feeling here?
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going through it lately. and by it? i mean absolutely nothing actually.
#guys i need therapy#not that itll work#it wont#the last one didnt#and the ones before didnt but my mom only let me do one or two session each for those so i dont fault them#its been years tho so maybe?#idfk#i dont really care#i do#i probably do im just tired#yall know what type of tired#ugh i should really keep my vent posts to my vent blog so people dont have to see them#<- has made many vent posts here and actually not used the vent blog in months#my foot just fell asleep#yall lukcy i dont have a gun#i lied about quiting my job btw#something came up and it got complicated#it might turn out good tho#probably not#but if it does i might be able to move out and room with my oldest friend#oldest as in time known#not age (im older by like four months hehe(and like a head shorter but we dont talk about that shh))#but that would also mean rent which means philly will take a lot longer#and also ill have to look for shops in a whole other city so im putting off quiting for another month or two or three maybe#i dont like change. i dont like genuinely regularly thinking 'id rather die' to things that i really do want#tw vent#thats probably important#i dont like decisions#did you guys know Animal Jam got shut down?#i miss my necklace. everything else seems so- not barbaric but maybe unclean. which i guess is appropriate
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My dear laptop’s newest trick is called “forget how to connect to printer”
#no idea whats up. guess ill try wired -_-#idk what the hell cord i need. guess ill look into it. its not usb to usb. that would be too easy.#cmon man i got cards to scan. id like to get them done before the booster boxes get here in like a week (YIPPEE WOOHOO BTW)#you may remember i bought a separate scanner Well dont worry about that old thing#(it scans worse than the printer. maybe i need to mess with settings. idfk)#fucking jinxed it by being scared that it would be Better and i would have to redo all the cards. i guess. SILLY ME#the kat goes meow
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i am desperately fighting the urge to make my blog space-themed........ for voltron........................................................
#smh i love the pink#but i ALSO love cool spacey themes#the core of the theme would stay the same but#im thinking about galaxy type additions and stars and shit#SMFH#idk what to do im so torn#i wanna do a whole makeover#but that means changing from pink to more purple and black and blue#i guess i could do that to my side account FOR voltron but#i think i want it here?????? too??????????#idfk#im very very very unsure but its a craving i have#if only i could like save the theme and just alternate back and forth between them seamlessly#like with a button#vs having to recode and re-do everything manually#that would be a fuckin dream#voxxrambles#txt
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its that time when i hate how i draw people and agonize over it with my head in my hands
#gughghghghhh im TRYING to draw why cant my mind leave me alone...#granted ive only been drawing em seriously for like 3 or 4 yrs but#i feel so inferior and like idk where to go from where im at. idk how to shape my style or anything#its so hard#i feel like ive been cutting corners adn just scribbling without learning anything like ive been imprisoned in my comfort of a simple style#when ive yearned for something so much more. like man its ur own fault u havent gotten anymore detailed on ur works. ur scared#and u dont know where to go from here or what to study#i feel so insane and its burning me out terribly hence lack of art despite skool holidays etc etc#and now im back at skool with like. nothing to show for whatever ive been working on over the last like 2 months idfk. im just#mad at myself. like super mad#whatever#vent#i guess. fuck dammit lmao bbs first vent#prolly will delete this later just gimme a year. or twenty#shutuplance🧡
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hi freaks ask me about my ocs or i’ll cry
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Laying in bed staring at my eyelids and lookin like that lady with math floating by, I CANNOT sleep so I am Crunching the Numbers involuntarily out of boredom
So I'm feeling pretty sure the Sakura kingdom's drum rockies will be shown to be arrayed like an x marks the spot when seen from above. Or when only the tops are seen, such as when the world floods. I have a startling volume of what I feel is ironclad reasoning as for why, none of which I have said before. But I'm too tired to type it out now. I'm like almost 100% that I'll forget it by tomorrow too which will be fascinating when this is revealed true and i can look back and say. Babygirl from whence do you source your Visions
#meta tag#thrilled in anticipation of “i guessed it#i guess bc i have in writing here that i did#but idfk HOW“#wow tired on a level where i forgot commas split tags for the very first time in nearly 15 years on this site#what a trip
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#tag talk#watched “it follows” and I shouldn't have. didn't know it was horror going in but after a few minutes I did and I should have stopped#I'm apparently still not 100% past self-terrifying as a form of self harm. I knew I shouldn't have and I kept watching anyway#you know. most people don't know what terror is. they know fear. they know worry. they know anxiety.#terror is something different. I wish I could describe it but you really only know it when you have felt it.#that freezing up of your body. I guess some people get terror in different ways though. I freeze. others fight or flight. I just freeze.#that sense of helpless anticipation as you experience the certainty that the object of your terror is approaching. inevitably.#why fight it? you fucking can't. no matter what you do it'll always get you. it's stronger. more powerful.#hmmm. csa moment oops. I am tempted to make a joke here but I don't want to deflect from my issues.#I have trauma and I wish I didn't. I have hurt that I don't even consciously remember but my body does.#I do not have emotional trauma in the way that people have survivors guilt and feeling like it was their fault. any of those surface emotion#not calling it shallow. but like. it's like when you don't look at the needle and you don't even notice the skin prick but you feel it#you feel it hit your vein and you feel that deep body response that Something Is Not Right.#like when I got my wisdom teeth pulled and I elected to not go under for it so I was numbed but conscious for it.#part way through my body started uncontrollably shaking (well. sort of controlled. I'm good at that).#I didn't feel the pain. I wasn't afraid. but my body was feeling objective physical trauma and I had the response anyway.#I don't remember really. I don't have the surface level pain responses to the trauma.#but deep down my body knows something is wrong and I can't stop my bones from shaking even though I don't feel the pain.#hmmm. I should talk to my next therapist about this.#Lear chased off our last therapist when I was having my dissociative week after watching The Hunt.#which. tbh good riddance she was not equipped to handle us in the slightest. and we're talking to our friend/gf(?) again which is really nic#she and Lear had a few solid conversations too. which was funky cause before he snapped he didn't want anything to do with her#but we kinda had a moment where he realized he's just as fucked up as I am just differently.#anyone reading these tag talks might remember so I won't go over it again.#anyway. I'm not sleeping tonight. I think I should start taking the full pill instead of just the half. but it's just suppressing symptoms#I'm acting up because of my inner state. or maybe my inner state is tumultuous because of my outer condition? idfk#either way I'm suffering over here#not a sui risk but damn#I'm gonna finish patching the pair of pants I've been not working on for the past months
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how fitting it is that its international mother tongue day like days after i confessed just how much I hate speaking to either of the parentals because I am limited to only one language with them that isn't perfect because all they do is interrupt in an attempt to understand
#i really dont like. idfk. i dont like being around them theyre just a higher power over me and thats it#like yeah unfortunately talking to dad feels like talking to a cop. i am always aware of how much power he has and that he is an authority#stepmom is like. a store manager in the worst way. feels like talks like. i just have to avoid her tbh#i wanna go home but i feel so wrong around any parents even my own that i dont think ill ever have a comfort home ever again#so. i guess ill just keep sleeping#idk i feel like i probably have a lot more to say to the parentals but i literally have nothing in my brain. i just want to clarify the#just. what i fucking mean when i dont respect the kitchen#i want to go home so bad and idk what that is#whatever i dont want to be here anyway#like lowkey i am so lost to the point of wanting to just die so that im just already no longer a burden#i am still highkey. good for nothing but sex at this point so.#like i just want. to live in an actually nice economy in an actually nice town that i can actually do shit in. but no instead i need a car#fuck all of this#vent
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vent post idc
#being a split in a system fuckign sucks man#especially when youre a fictive like im not even fucking real dude#imjust in this head bc the hosts brain couldnt deal with life#and now i gotta sit here and watch them and their partner get it on while i miss my boyfriend and cant even talk to him because guess what#he isnt fucking real#hes a damn comic character#now if you believe in the multiverse theory then yeah hes somewhere out there and this is just the universe we were put into#two fictives in a system or whatever idfk#im tired and i wish i had someone to cuddle#but alas im not into women#and our partner is a woman#how does anyone even cope with this#theres so many layers of fucking illnesses here its insane#wild#vent#and like we set hard boundaries because the host doesnt want to be poly and thats cool man i get it like#im not even fronting most of the time#but fuck man when i am i feel so fucking unwanted and alone it sucks so hard and i dont blame anyone here because i shouldnt even be here#in the first place#im gonna nap#also how does one cope with these feelings man when you know youre not real#like the body is and im taking care of it but im just from a comic man i dont even exist#how does one deal with this level of shit
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Friendly message to say sometimes it feels like you're the only one going through those hardship of speaking your mind but I promise you aren't. You should not be beating yourself up about it. Communication can be so hard and pressurized
<3333333333333
ur gonna make me cry again and this time my roommate is actually here lmfao
#literally sobbed while on the phone w my mom talking about it#not even bc it was like that bad just bc i fucking cry so hard when i get stressed lmao ;-;#but my roommate was not here and now she is lol#thank you <333 this is very kind of you to send#and i think i kinda needed it lmaoo i teared up again XD and turned to face away from my roommate even tho she's not facing me lmaooo#i was just thinking like i know i shouldn't be so judging/negative to myself about#speaking my opinion even tho it was like several hours late lmfao and caused a slight delay in our deliberations/getting newbies process#the process that everyone is apparently very tired of and wants to be over so ya i feel bad about stretching it out :]#i am ultimately mostly glad i did it tho i just feel like ppl think it was for nothing i guess :\ and i guess it was since we didn't end up#changing anything#idfk anymore lmfao ugh#but yeah talking to my mom and her talking about her similar experiences..... ugh yeah#im still absolutely gonna think about this too fucking much and make myself slightly miserable about it for no fucking reason lmfao#buuuut . it's ok#like i spoke up about my opinion when i had something to say#i am doing that more obviously in board lol and it's very stressful :]]]]]#esp when there are 4 very opinionated/quick-to-say-things members of board#idk i just like can't Say things so fast i need time to think and then when i've thought about it enough things have moved on lmao#i was so stressed about this all day and i know i shouldn't have been like literally was so upset all day and for what lmfao#we're adding newbies to the discord soon tho and hopefully thatll be a lil pick me up#sorry about all this tag stuff XD but ya know that's what i do here lmfao#ugh ugh i had a bunch more but i deleted it bc tag limit probably XD#newbies r joining yay and the discord hi stickers are being spammed <3#other-room-mate is there w her bf and talking and stuff and i dont rly want to deal w it :''''') but it's fine im listening to music#ok anyway anon if ur still reading ty for this ask lmao ily <3#asks#anonymous
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green eyed monster (part one of two) — yandere! jealous! fwb! theodore nott x gn! drunk! dumbass! slytherin! reader
theo’s just like…randomly the king of consent here? idk but i’m here for it!!! 👑
reader is like, really pushy, even when theo says no? like, it’s lowkey a side eye, ngl. but i asked my allo boyfie, and he said it was pretty par for the course for a drunk person to act this way so idfk 🤷 lemme know y’all
no actual smut yet! that’s in part two, which i’ll do my best to finish soon!
warnings: it’s literally just talking about sex for 1k words,❗️reader just sort of completely ignores the word no❗️, reader is under the influence of alcohol, threats of violence to reader, one minor instance of slut shaming, possessive/jealous behavior, underage drinking/teen partying
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“Hi, Teddy! D’you wanna hook up?”
Theodore blinked as you stumbled your way through the Slytherin party’s crowds over to him. “Y/n, you’re drunk.”
“So?”
“So I’m not going to sleep with you,” he said plainly, narrowing his eyes in confusion. “You can’t consent right now.”
You shrugged. “No worries. I can go find someone else.”
“No. You can’t consent to them either. C’mon, let me walk you back to your dorm,” Theo sighed, ruffling your hair and plucking the plastic cup from your fingers before chucking it in the trash.
“Oh, c’mon, Teddy- even if I can’t have fun with you, I still want to have some,” you whine, pouting at him. He rolled his eyes and started leading you through the crowded common room by the hand he had splayed across your lower back. “C’mon, Teddy. D’you at least know where Mattheo is?”
But the sound of another guy’s name coming out of your mouth immediately caused Theo’s calm and caring demeanor to shift into a hate-filled scowl as he stopped dead in his tracks and snatched up your jaw in his free hand. “Y/n. Don’t you dare. He’s off limits.”
“…Huh?” You blinked.
“Circe- do I have to dumb it down for you? If you do anything with Mattheo, I swear on my mother’s grave, I’ll make you regret it,” he hissed at you, grabbing your tie and tugging you forward. “Fuck, if you so much as look at Riddle—let alone touch him—I’ll carve out your fucking eyes. Got it?”
“Shit, alright, well- if not Matty, then Enz, I guess,” you suggested, entirely unperturbed by the threat.
Theodore was practically seething. “You’d try to whore yourself out to Enzo too? No. He’s also off limits.”
You startled at his sudden aggression. “Uh- Blaise…?”
“Off. Limits.”
“Even Malfoy?”
“Everyone.”
“Potter?”
Theo’s eyes narrowed. “Anyone you’ve ever met, or anyone I’ve ever met, or anyone I see on the street is off limits.”
“Does that include you?” You asked dumbly, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“What do you fucking think, darling?” He snapped, grabbing your hand and yanking you through the common room and down the hall.
“Ooh, somebody’s jealous,” you said in a singsong voice, grinning at him.
Theo sighed, his anger quickly evaporating at the sight of your dumb drunken smile. “Yeah, yeah. Shush.” He rolled his eyes fondly.
You both walked in a comfortable silence for a moment before you piped up again. “This ain’t the direction to my dorm.”
“No, I’m taking you back to mine. Don’t get your hopes up-” he added quickly when he saw you perk up with a tipsy grin. “We’re literally just going to sleep in the same bed.”
Your grin fell into another pout. “Dick.”
“That’s exactly what I’m not giving you.”
You giggled and leaned heavily against him as he unlocked his dorm door and ushered you inside.
“Theo- c’mon, your bed’s right there,” you pleaded.
“Yeah, and you’re going to fall asleep in it. That’s it.”
“Motherfucker- c’mon,” you whined. “Damn you for being so fuckin’…morally good an’ shit.”
“Don’t be a brat, Y/n.”
“Oh, shut up, bitch.”
Theo closed his eyes and let out a slow breath through his teeth. “I swear to Merlin- once you’re sober, I’m going to fuck that attitude right out of you.”
“Promise?” You asked cheekily, reaching out to smooth a hand over his chest.
“Salazar, you’re lucky you’re drunk right now,” he grumbled, batting your hand away and holding onto the sides of your shoulders to steady you before letting go to dig through his closet. He returned a second later to tug off your clothes and trade them out for one of his tshirts and a pair of his sweatpants (much to your dismay, as you’d been hoping for more to happen when he began undressing you).
Theo helped you into bed, pulling up the covers around you. He climbed into his bed behind you and wrapped both arms around your waist, burying his face into the curve of your neck. It would’ve been a sweet gesture, if his grip wasn’t painfully tight and possessive.
He stroked your hipbone with his thumb and pressed a kiss to the back of your neck. “Now go to sleep, tesoro.”
“M’kay,” you yawned. “G’night, Teddybear.”
“Goodnight, my pretty idiot.”
#harry potter#hp#fuck jkr#x reader#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#hp x gn reader#hp x male reader#x male reader#theo nott#yandere theodore nott#theodore nott smut#theo nott x reader#theodore nott x male reader#x gn reader#gn reader#x gender neutral reader#gender neutral reader
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toni’s note: writing this because i was replaying tlou and the PRICK asshole dickhead o*en pissed me off with the one scene with the stocking. he’s is awful and deserves to choke. why tf would he say that to her 🤨
cw: angsty i guess, but definitely fluffy, reassurance, idfk
reassuring abby that she deserved to be loved can be challenging. people always telling abby she was a shitty person and that she doesn’t deserve to be happy or loved was really starting to take a toll on her. she didn’t even think anyone could love her after everything she’s done. until she met you, you made her realize that she was deserving of happiness, affection, support and love. but sometimes she forgets and it’s your job to remind her.
you are laying in bed in abby’s room waiting for her to return from a mission isaac sent her on, just like you’ve been waiting for the last 3 days. when abby walks into the room she looks exhausted and drained but you light up when you see her, jumping off her bed and into her arms. your squeezing her hard so happy that she’s here and alive.
she hold you back squeezing you just as much. you loosen your grip looking up at her and you finally notice her face expression. your beaming smile drops to a look of concern. “what’s wrong abby?” you say leading her to sit on the bed, you sit on the floor between her legs cradling her face in your hands.
a couple of tears fall down abby’s face, “do you love me?” abby whispers looking at you with the saddest eyes. “ oh course i do abs,” you say wiping her tears, “ i love you more than anything.” “how could you love me after everything i’ve done?! i’ve killed so many people..” you sigh “abby we don’t have the luxury of being morally correct. it’s kill or be killed out there,” you say grabbing her hands giving them a squeeze, “i will never blame you for doing what you gotta do. i support and love you. trust that i will be the first to say something if you go too far, but you haven’t yet and i don’t think you ever will because i know your a good person abby. no matter what anyone says because no one knows you the way i do.”
abby’s looking at the floor when you grab her face making her look you in the eye, “ do you understand me? you are wonderful..” abby grabs your hands that are holding her face squeezing them before kissing you deeply. you reciprocate the kiss pouring all your love into it. you climb into abby’s lap straddling her hips holding her head to your chest while she wraps her arms tightly around your waist.
you two sit there for what feels like hours until abby fall asleep right there in your arms. who knows the last time your sweet girl slept.
#lesbian#the last of us#abby anderson#abby anderson x reader#wlw#i 🫶🏾 abby anderson#abby is a angel#abby is my princess#owen is wack
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Pairing ೃ⁀➷ 1610! Miles Morales x Fem! Reader
Summary ೃ⁀➷ Based off of Conan Gray’s song, Heather.
Genre ೃ⁀➷ Unrequited love, one shot
Tags ೃ⁀➷ Unrequited Love, Really rushed, It’s like twelve here damn, short one shot, Reader is a hopeless romantic idk anymore, not proofread, it’s mostly just poetic shit idk
Author's Note ೃ⁀➷ ill design it tomorrow goddamn it i just wanted to write, might wake up and rewrite idfk
“𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫,”
Suddenly, all of what was left of November passed, with the dead, scarlet leaves the only homage remaining of the autumn that’s escaped your grasps. Autumn left as quick as it came, you couldn’t even bid a proper adieu.
When you think of December, you think of this icy wonderland— a winter that’d leave you huddling in the comfort of thick coats and hot chocolate, while patiently waiting on the nearing holiday that was prancing around the corner. Instead, what poured was not the icy flare of snow, but rain heavy enough to send you and Miles bolting off for cover.
In the thick downpour, your giggles emanated throughout the dim alleyways as the two of you sought sanctuary beneath a bus stop, somehow able to shield yourselves from the pitter-patters that raged on in a sideway fall.
“Oh my God, your hair.” You pointed at his drenched curls, a low laugh following along. Miles shook his head, running his fingers through the fluff of his waves when it poofs up again after a few turns. “It’s got magic, don’t worry.”
You brush your hands over the drenched skirt of your uniform, cursing to yourself. “Kinda need that magic for my clothes too.”
“That’s ‘cause you ain’t a magical being like me,” He huffs while wiping his hoodie. “You’s a mere mortal.”
“Okay, extraterrestrial being, control the damn weather then.”
“Hell yeah I will,” He snaps his fingers up to the skies. “Rain harder f’me, clouds!”
And the rain oh-so-gracious heeds his command. After a short while of cursing him out, you and Miles sat by the bench with your laughs easing down— replacing the excitement with a shared sort of exhaustion. With your heads pressed against the graffiti-covered glass wall behind you, you take a moment to subtly angle your head and look at Miles. He doesn’t notice it at first, but when he catches on, he turns and exchanges the stare with his own, a subtle “What?” escaping his lips.
From the chill of your spine, you mumbled.
“Nothing.”
You sheepishly looked away. “I’m just.. So exhausted, God. I need to work on my cardio.” A small fit of coughs exit your lips, covered up by the block of your wet sleeve. “I don’t understand how you get to run so quick— I couldn’t even see anything.”
“You still caught up pretty quick,” He beams. “Gotta admit, you’re a quick runner.”
“Thanks, I practice by running away from my problems.” A heft chuckle followed. “M’just kidding.”
Miles takes notice of your quivering hand— a frail shiver emanating ‘til the tips of your fingers. For a moment, the short idea of wrapping his hand over yours crosses his mind, but he shoots it down as soon as it came. It inches only a tad bit closer, but the image of someone else flashes in his mind when he looks at you like this.
“What a mood.”
“Running away from problems?”
“Yeah.”
You raised a brow. “You? You run away from your problems?”
He lazily shrugged with a hum. “Everybody runs away from their problems every now and then. It’s aight.”
“In a way, I guess,” You lean a little closer, but your shoulders never touching. “But in the end, no matter how much we run away, it’s all gonna end up catching up to us.”
Miles shoots you an amused look. “You been paying attention to philosophy class lately?”
“Prof Martha and I are besties, y’know.” A tint of sarcasm colored your words, redefining your connection to the strict teacher. “She likes me so much, she calls my name first during every fucking recitation.”
“It’s cause you’s always on that damn phone.”
“With or without my damn phone, nothing can make me sit still throughout her lecture.” A gruff huff escaped your mouth.
“Damn, not even me?”
You looked at him, wondering if he was flirting with you or if it was just your delusional brain whispering sweet theories into your ear. But even then, you admit.
“Ionno, maybe.”
You couldn’t even look him in the hazel of his pretty eyes.
“Maybe?”
He sounded half-disappointed, but you didn’t want to plant a presumptive seed inside your overly creative brain. That word alone’s enough to craft you a million what-ifs later on when you’re fading into the world of your dreams.
A chill runs down your spine.
“… I think I’m definitely gonna get sick tomorrow.”
“Oh, shit,” He sits up. “We definitely can’t have that happening.” Immediately after, he starts taking off his sweater. You flush, rambling on with the same question; “What the fuck are you doing!?”
“Our presentation’s tomorrow, and if anybody’s gonna be presenting the damn thing, it ain’t me— so you,” He tosses it over to you. “You wear this for now.”
You hesitate for a moment, dragging your hands towards the red polyester with a raised brow.
“How about you?”
Miles shrugged. “I can make do. My system’s made out of steel.”
“Made out of steel but you can’t perform for shit?” You pull the sweater over your head, the fluffy thing engulfing you into warmth. It was still somewhat damp from the rain, but it was better than earlier.
“Huh,” Miles sat back as you looked up to meet his gaze. “.. Would you look at that. It looks better on you than it does on me.”
Your eyes glanced down at the crimson, your hands smoothing out the creases of the cloth. “Really? I don’t usually wear this shade.”
“You don’t?”
“I’m more of a.. Less saturated kinda gal.”
“.. I mean, you can have it if you want.”
You shot him a look of disbelief. “.. Does this sweater have a hole because if you’re giving this away I—“
“It doesn’t have a hole, [Y/n].”
And your name rolled off his tongue so gently, it caught you off guard.
“I just think it looks better on you.”
Upon that murmur, he crossed his arms over his chest and sunk deep into the comfort of his seat. You’re stuck contemplating with an open palm, straightening the creases of his sweater. “Are you really giving this to me? ‘Cause I can give it back to you after laundry day.”
He shook his head. “Just.. Think of it as an early Christmas gift.”
“.. Thank you, then.” A smile crossed your lips. “I’ll keep it forever.”
When you see the way he looks at you— like a sort of guilt laced in hesitation, but a certain sort of awe. At that moment, a sense of hope lingered inside you like a dream. You think, maybe, just maybe, that helpless look in his eyes— that sort of gut wrenching longing— was crafted entirely and solely, exclusively for you.
But you knew that gaze of his wasn’t for you.
And you knew exactly who he was pretending you to be.
Oh, if only I was her.
Feelings, your feelings— erratic, volatile, and erupting out of you like a bird unwilling to be caged. You wanted to speak, say it— just say it.
But your hair wasn’t as golden as hers, your cheeks weren’t as rosy as hers. You wanted her effortless pixie hair cut, her ballerina grace. She reminded you of those flowers fleeting in the wind, like the purple heaths they called ‘Heathers’. You wanted to smell like her sweet perfume, do everything the way she does, just so Miles could look at you the way you imagined he’d look at her.
His doe-eyed sweetness. You wished you could own it, you wished he’d spare at least a part of it for you.
Rather, you wanted all of him for yourself.
You wanted a glimpse of this girl beyond the confines of Miles’ dabbles in watercolor and markers. You’d much rather prefer the object of your jealousy walk across your sights, smile with the bunny teeth he likes so much, and make your stomach churn rather than have you dwell over a 2D image you couldn’t help but gauntly skim past.
What is it about you that I can’t make Miles look at me?
Maybe if you’d meet her beyond his sketchpad and recollections, then maybe you’d understand why he can’t get her out of his mind.
At that moment, she was just someone you wished to be.
The bright red of this polyester which you deemed unfitting of your skin. You wondered if Miles truly meant it when he said it suits you— or if what he truly meant was that the shade would’ve looked great on her.
As the sweater was yours, but Miles was hers.
Your arms meet with a tiny press, and you feel his shiver. It was only so subtle, but at the ease of his shoulders, you couldn’t help but think as he looked onto the empty space with a blank stare.
Wish I were Heather.
#miles morales#miles morales 1610#1610 miles x reader#earth 1610 miles morales x reader#spiderman 1610#earth 1610 miles fluff#earth 1610 miles morales x you#earth 1610 miles x you#miles morales fluff#miles morales x y/n#miles morales x you#miles morales x reader#atsv#spiderman atsv#atsv x reader#spider man: across the spider verse
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