#i've been thinking about this a lot
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anakin likes to put his hands on either sides of your waist to pull you closer and thrust impossibly harder into your cunt the same way he would a fleshlight.
#i've been thinking about this a lot#nai's thoughts!#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker smut#anakin skywalker x reader#st4rfckerz
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Entertaining the possibility that Mike’s struggles with Will and El are exactly what was shown to us on screen
i.e. looking at Mike's perspective through the lens of his insecurities rather than internalised homophobia. This is going to be long, but I've tried my best to properly articulate and connect all my thoughts!
Starting off with,
Mike being unable to tell El that he loves her (4x2) because to put it simply, he’s not in love with her (anymore at least) but he loves her enough that he can’t lie about it, and neither can he let her go. He’s not fallen out of love because of El, but subconsciously because of who he’s become when he’s in a relationship with El. We see early on in season 4 that El has been pretending to be someone she is not in her letters to Mike. We see her breakdown when Mike handles the roller-skate-to-Angela’s-face situation badly because that’s the confirmation she wanted to know that Mike may not be appreciative of who she truly is. El was under the impression that she was a monster in that scene. She is not, but she was worried Mike would react negatively to her and he did. El even compares it to Brenner’s reaction to a traumatic incident she repressed and believed was her fault. What Mike said later is probably true - that he just reacted that way out of shock, but he also couldn’t tell her he loved her right after, so El heard what she wanted to hear. Pretending to be someone else wasn’t working for her anymore. If we observe carefully, we’ll realise that El hasn’t been the only one pretending in this relationship.-
-Mike has been pretending to be someone else too. Perhaps for longer. Through season 3, he acts like he’s moved on from DnD, games, hanging out with the party, and all the little things that make him his nerdy self. Everyone (Hopper, Lucas, Will, Dustin, and Max) points out that there is something off about Mike and El’s relationship - that he's keeping her to himself and that he's ignoring his friends to be with her. In contrast, we have Lucas and Max who balance their relationship and their friendships. Mike later picks a fight with Will that feels irreversible when Will calls him out on this behaviour in 3x3. That entire fight could be Mike projecting, but he was especially projecting with the “What did you think? That we were going to sit in my basement and play games for the rest of our lives?” line. When El moves away, we see Mike join Hellfire Club, indulging himself in his interests once again. We haven’t once seen Mike talk about these interests with El outside of season 1, where she ignored him:
gif by @beaulesbian
He feels embarrassed at the end of season 3 for getting excited about presents. The costume designer for s4 even confirmed that it was scripted in the Airport scene that Mike was dressing up a certain way out of his norm to fit in. All this coupled with what Mike says in 4x8 in the van - “someday she’s going to realise that I’m just some random nerd who got lucky” further proves that he thinks he’s not worthy of El unless he’s someone who is not just a random lucky nerd - which is what he was, technically in that moment (but he is also so much more, and we will circle back to that in a bit) Mike has spent so much time trying to be someone he’s not that he isn't sure about his feelings for El anymore, because-
-Mike is scared he’s lost Will -his best friend- in this process. This is the third time Mike has lost Will and this time according to him, it’s his own doing (“I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something.”). The fight from season 3 and the ending of season 3 are two of the Mike and Will moments that stand out before the Byers move to California. In the fight, Mike indirectly tells Will that it’s time to grow up and move on from DnD, and in the finale, Will is shown to have sort of moved on from it. He gives away his stuff and says he’ll just use Mike’s set when he comes back - that is if Mike still wants to play. And Mike for a moment feels reassured that Will didn’t take his comments during the rain fight to heart. He thinks they’re separating on good terms and that their friendship has been mended, except he’s going to realise soon that it hasn’t. Will starts to pull away and doesn’t reach out, as Mike accused him of in 4x2. Will thinks that if he has to lose Mike, he should do it quickly, like ripping of a band-aid. But Mike doesn’t know that this is because Will has romantic feelings for him and that it’s Will trying to deal with his own struggles. Mike genuinely believes that something he did (probably said, during the rain fight) is the reason he’s lost Will. And this hurts because Mike has always been authentically himself around Will.
Mike is now stuck pretending to be someone he is not in a relationship, and as a consequence, he thinks he has lost his best friend, with whom he could always be himself. And all this pretending because-
-Mike has put El on a pedestal. This could be because of her powers, or because of who he thinks he should be in a relationship with a girl because she is canonically the first girl to have shown interest in him.
The first ever character description of Mike Wheeler states that not having a girlfriend is one of his insecurities.
This also explains why Mike lashed out at Will in the most hurtful way he could think of when Will called her “some stupid girl” he was ruining the party to swap spit with (3x3). But as we’ve seen over and over again, Mike and El are just not compatible in their interests. Normally, that is something couples can easily work through together, but Mike has been trying to mould himself into someone that he thinks is compatible with El - straying further away from who he is, and El has been doing the same for Mike - both of them losing themselves in this process.
I think by the end of season 4, it’s very evident that both of them are tired of pretending to be someone they’re not. Because El got a taste of individuality. She has learned from Max and Owens and even Brenner that the choices she makes doesn’t define whether she is a monster or a superhero - but who she is as a person. She has realised that she is content in being a good person and not a superhero.
Meanwhile, Mike spent all his time away from El in Will's company in season 4, understanding that in their time apart, Will never stopped considering Mike as his best friend. Mike realises that Will is just as devastated as he is about their withering friendship (4x2, rink-o-mania fight) and that he is still able to be vulnerable and his true self around Will (literally every heart-to-heart they had in s4). Mike, for the first time in almost two years (apart from his time in Hellfire), has been able to experience what it’s like to be himself again because he's never felt the need to change himself to be around Will.
Mike can’t balance his relationship with Will and El because he is two different people around each one of them.
Will’s veiled confession turns out to be exactly the way Mike wished El (or anyone) loved him - like he is their equal, and like he is worthy of the person he loves. This is why he reacts this positively to Will's words:
Except that is not El's truth. That’s not how El feels (because El has been putting him on a pedestal too) ("Everyone looks at me like I'm a monster. You look at me like I'm a monster"). They’re Will’s feelings.
Will and Mike at this point in canon, consider each other as equals while Mike and El consider themselves inadequate to be with one another.
Everything that transpires after is just an unreasonable amount of chaos for drama tbh. They could’ve made Mike be honest with El in a moment of calm and talk out his insecurities if they wanted to fix that relationship. Have him reassure her that they can fix what’s broken with proper communication, but instead, Mike’s love confession during yet another high-stakes situation is laced with half-truths and him bringing back the whole El being his superhero concept (In direct contrast to Jonathan and Nancy describing how good the both of them are as people in their 4x1 love declarations while talking in sync to Fred and Argyle). This is followed by El decidedly not talking to Mike properly for two days after that monologue nor seeking comfort in him when she's just experienced one of the worst losses in her life. Mike is still drifting towards Will at the end because now that he’s got a taste of what being himself around his best friend feels like again, he’s finding it hard to let go.
Both Mike and El seem a little done with each other just before the final byler heart-to-heart, and I can only imagine that they’re going to break up at the beginning of season 5 because both of them have realised that they deserve better and that’s it’s neither of their faults. They’re kids who are learning what they want in life and that’s okay. They jumped into a relationship when they were 13 and it didn't work out for them. For them to rebuild a friendship instead would be monumental because they truly do make a great team when they don't have all this relationship drama suffocating them.
Where does this leave us with Mike and Will in season 5? Imagine Mike finding out that the Van scene confession was from Will himself. A possibility he’s never thought of because he believes he’s not lovable just the way he is. Mike finding out that the person he feels like he can be himself around the most loves him romantically, and that the same person also feels like a mistake except when he’s around Mike, because Mike makes him feel safe. And this person is someone who has seen the ups and downs of Mike for almost a decade. I don’t think Mike is going to take that very lightly. In fact, I think it’s going to rock his entire world. Because Mike will finally realise that Will never ever gave up on them. That Will’s been secretly and silently hoping for them to be more for a long time and reciprocation doesn’t feel like a long shot to Mike because loving and being around Will is so, so easy.
I’d always been a Mike is dealing with internalised homophobia truther, but I’m starting to think that Mike might actually just be more emotionally repressed and insecure. To the point that he’s constantly pretending to be someone he’s not. I don’t think he’s scared of being perceived as a queer person (seeing as how he always stuck with Will and defended him strongly against the homophobic bullies. And how in the beginning of season 4, he feels comfortable being seen by his high school classmates as a nerd or a freak) but I think he’s worried he’s never going to be enough for the person he loves. And Will has already proven that Mike just as he is, is everything and beyond to him. Will thinks he’s a nerd(very affectionately), he’s a leader, he’s his the heart, he’s Will’s safe space, he’s Will’s go-to person, and he’s Will’s forever (“We can just play DnD and Nintendo for the rest of our lives”)(“I’ll always need you, Mike”). Mike feels the same way about Will too. He’s just going to realise that oh, all this will stay the same and maybe be even more incredible when they shift their friendship to a romantic relationship.
Mike is going to fall harder than ever once he finds out that Will is in love with him and I honestly think Mike is already halfway there. He just can’t seem to put it together because he’s always loved Will this way. Mike is finally going to realise that he can spend the rest of his life in a loving relationship with the person who understands him best. The person he understands best. Who cares what the rest of the world thinks because holy shit, Will Byers loves him (and vice-versa)
I also think it would be incredible for Will (who deals with internalised homophobia in canon) if Mike, his partner, is more confident in his queer identity because having Will by his side gives him the strength and courage to be who he is. I think it would neatly wrap up both of their self image issues. Will unconditionally loving Mike for who he truly is and Mike unconditionally loving Will, through his gay struggles and all.
#byler#mike wheeler#will byers#byler endgame#byler evidence#stranger things#stranger things meta#i've been thinking about this a lot#and i can see them going for this tbh#mike wheeler i know what you are#thoughts
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Some thoughts on Knowing You Are Loved and Bodies (2023):
I find it really interesting that Know You Are Loved is what Mannix's entire plan hinges on. It's the fulcrum on which his plan pivots.
Obviously it's a clear and not-even-disguised allegory for the cycle of abuse: it just so happens that in this case, and through time travel shenanigans, the cycle of abuse is being perpetrated time and again by a man towards himself as a child. Being and feeling unloved is what leads to the bomb in 2023 and Mannix's rise to power in the future (and the past), which is what leads him to what he desperately craves: feeling loved, however false and helped along by power and fear that might be. So he engineers his own upbringing to be as unloving as possible, in order that he might continue to be. Because genuine love would ruin that.
But what has really been scratching at my brain the last couple of days is the phrase "Know You Are Loved". Obviously, it's the calling card of a cult. But nothing about this cult is loving, not even this phrase. If we look at it:
Know You Are Loved
It is so passive.
No one here is saying "I love you". The love here is not active, and I just think it's amazing hearing that - cold, casual, passive - and having it compared to the vital and active love we see throughout the series: with Shaharah and her son, with Karl and Esther, Alfred and Henry and his family. And yes, those loves end tragically (in one timeline at least), but there is no argument that they do not make the characters' lives richer.
And then we look at what Mannix is doing to those around him and his younger self: he gathers people around him, but we can see there is no actual love there. He never tells them "I love you", they never say it to him. To the extent that Mannix mocks Hillinghead for sacrificing himself for love, which Hillinghead rightfully calls him out on.
"Know You Are Loved."
But not by me, and not I by you. It's just enough of a sign of affection for people to feel momentarily comforted by it, but it does not stand up to any kind of scrutiny.
#Bodies Netflix#Bodies 2023#i don't really know where i'm going with this I just needed to blurt the thoughts out#i've been thinking about this a lot#to the extent that I had a conversation about it with my hairdresser on thursday when it turned out she'd watched it#are my posts going into the main tag? i cannot see them#know you are loved#op
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Imagine eating with your f/o. Maybe eating and food is a touchy subject for one or both of you. Maybe one of you can't seem to get yourself to eat much. Maybe you're insecure about how much or how little you eat. Maybe one of you have a trauma associate it with it. Either way, you feel safe and vulnerable enough to eat around each other. . Eventually, you're both at a comfortable weight, not starving. Everything seems to melt away when you share food together.
#i've been thinking about this a lot#my f/o is so skinny and i feel like it's due to stress#weight gain as a sign of healing my beloved#self ship#self shipping#selfship#selfshipping#f/o
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I feel like we as a fandom don't show enough appreciation for the dregs being named the dregs. a dreg of society quite literally means "a group of people in society who you consider to be immoral and of no value." it just plays into the factor of people only thinking of the crows as criminals who don't know right from wrong, as rejects who don't contribute society. it may seem as though they're just some random teenagers but they saved the world and earned their place in it
#i've been thinking about this a lot#can you tell#i love them more than life#shadow and bone#six of crows#grishaverse#shadow and bone season 2#crooked kingdom#ruin and rising#siege and storm#wylan hendriks#jesper fahey#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#nina zenik#matthias helvar
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when I was in college, my Brazilian Literature professor told us this story about an author who wrote weekly adventures for some newspaper. as one would expect, the author was paid peanuts.
as the series grew in popularity, the author started pressing for a raise, and was always denied or told he'd get his raise after x or y issue. so he kept on writing, and funneled the story into a series of amazing plot points, only to reach a cliffhanger that had readers writing letters to rave about it.
he asked for a raise again, and got told no. so he quit, and no one thought much of it. only they couldn't find another writer to continue the original story. "too many loose ends", "no way to rescue the protagonist from this literal cliff", no one could do it. weeks went by and readers were getting impatient.
the newspaper reached out to the author and offered him more money. whatever would get him back, and the story out of the corner. naturally, the writer accepted it, but at this point everyone was curious to know how he'd keep the protagonist from meeting his grisly death. how could he possibly solve all those problems he had created in the narrative?
the following week, a new issue was published, and the story continued: "once all those problems were behind him..."
you see, this was just meant to be an entertaining story about how fiction was published in the olden days, told by a professor to future teachers. I like to think my professor was also trying to encourage us to try our hand at writing, seeing as he was a published poet himself and passionate about it.
it's been a decade since, and I think about his story often. in particular when I've been sitting in front of my computer for an hour and can't find the perfect way to end this chapter or introduce this new plot point. writing seems so complicated, and so many people have so much to say about it. what's right, what's wrong, what works, what doesn't.
but it's really simple, isn't it? start a new line, put all those problems behind you. if nothing goes right, go left. sometimes the simpler explanation is the best one. maybe there are better ways to go about it, but a patch is better than a hole.
go and open that wip, the one you gave up on writing because the plot seemed so convoluted or too difficult. press enter. put the problems behind you and keep going
#virgil chats#adventures in writing#needed to rant#i've been thinking about this a lot#so often i avoid writing because it doesn't feel right. doesn't feel perfect#but imperfect action is better than perfect inaction isn't it#plus. no one lives in my head but me.#i am the only one who knows where this story goes#all i have to do is convince you this is exactly what i had planned from the start
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Will Croshair find out about Tech's death, or will they keep quiet about this, just as they kept quiet about Fives' death when Echo was found?
#I still believe that tech is alive but still#I've been thinking about this a lot#the bad batch#the bad batch spoilers#the bad batch crosshair#the bad batch tech#tbb#tbb season 3#arc trooper fives#arc trooper echo#tcw#the clone wars
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Maybe, Forever, is about
Memories
Not about
People
#deep thoughts#feelings#quote#love#healing#you#memorykeeping#memories#people#i've been thinking about this a lot
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Can we talk about when 9 asks Sonic what he thought would happen to him when the world comes back together?
Sonic simply responds that he wants 9 to love the world and his friends as much as he does.
It's not a direct answer, but Sonic doesn't think any of the people he's met will dissappear or just become part of who they were.
He may call OG tails the "real" tails, but that's because he's starting to think about 9 and the others as "not tails" and as their own people?
9 expected that he was being gotten rid of, to become something other than real as soon as Sonic was done with him despite the growing trust and friendship.
But Sonic expects to have more friends on Green Hill, to go back and help rebuild the jungle as soon as his home is stabilized. It's the reason he won't leave any of the worlds behind or let anyone on those worlds suffer.
Because they're not just copies to him, they're people who need help, his friends new and old.
And more and more he calls these people by their names rather than by the names of his friends.
9 wants to build something new, something better, without anyone there to change it but him.
Sonic wants to create a home so all his friends can be together, he wants green hill because that's what almost every world holds as sacred.
Look how hurt he is by 9 taking him calling OG tails the "real" tails as 9 not being real.
I hope Sonic really thinks about this in season 3 and why he called his tails the real one.
#sonic prime#sonicprime#i've been thinking about this a lot#sonic prime 9#nine#ramblings#sonic prime spoilers
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I know where I’m going. And I don’t want you to go to the same place.
“...Whatever has happened, the road that she has gone down, she loathes herself far more than she has ill feelings about him. It’s about herself.” -Rhea Seehorn
#barry#barryedit#better call saul#bcsedit#kim wexler#sally reed#myedits#tusersahar#tuserdaniela#ryancoogler#usergif#userkk#usertelevision#tvedit#dailyflicks#junkfooddaily#i've been thinking about this a lot
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Hey what happens when they finally play Everybody Wants To Rule The World, and it's on the very last episode on the last scene, maybe its a pan out from just the street to seeing the Party riding their bikes, then pans out more to show the town (obviously in repairs from after the final battle, kinda in symbolism to how all the people effected by the upside down are now truly able to heal?)
anyway the shot flies by influential places in the town in sort of snapshots, it finally zooms back into the Party, you can faintly hear them talking, everyone's joking around and stuff, then as the scene draws to a close you notice they're biking up a small hill (the same one Dustin and Will when racing down the night everything went down) and so they're going up, growing up, and moving away from the upside down, all of this whilst a total banger that makes me sad plays loud enough to hear the lyrics
All for freedom and for pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
what then? what then???
Edit: leave your thoughts about this here
#idk my dudes#i've been thinking about this a lot#logically i know it won't end like this but still...#it gives me very many feelings#it also goes without saying all my little gay ships are canon#stranger things#will byers#max mayfield#el hopper#mike wheeler#lucas sinclair#dustin henderson#byler#lumax#elmax#elumax#everybody wants to rule the world#tears for fears
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Shaun tryiing to stop me losing my shit over the new photos of him in Laos...
Gotta be honest babe... not going to work
#shaun evans#itv endeavour#endeavour morse#I love new shaun content#and need more#moustache mondays#morsetache mondays#plus he's in uniform#who doesn't love a man in uniform#especially if that man is shaun#I'm not sure seeing him do this#would do anything to calm me down#maybe it works better with horses#I'd still be losing my shit#how does anyone stay calm when they meet him#I've been thinking about this a lot#just in case I ever do#and i've decided I would be utterly not cool#and just lose my shit completely#and completely embarass myself#its probably for the best i never meet him#I mean its not like its that likely anyway#it could be funny#or weird#probably weird if I'm honest#he'd probably run away screaming#and I'm back to probably a good idea if I don't#oh god my tags are writing themselves again#sorry...not sorry#hot damn evans
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the longer i study narrative theory the more I become absolutely convinced that "character traits" are a lie.
Real people don't have character traits--they have certain patterns of behavior they're prone to, yes, but that behavior is defined by a combination of motivations, mood, emotions, and external context. You cannot point to any one behavior as a singular "character trait."
And yes, characters aren't real people, and it's useful to have a shorthand to fall back on for quickly sketching out what a character might do in a given situation, but overall I'm beginning to believe that over-reliance on traits is unnecessarily limiting and makes for less organic characters. You build a character's personality over time, by revealing things about that person in the context of the narrative, and not by deciding ahead of time that this character has [x trait], [x trait], and [x trait]. People are built in real time by their active choices.
That's why nothing a character does at the beginning of a story can be "out of character." You've just met them--they're necessarily a foundation, a blank slate. I might do something radical and start leaving character design out of my planning process entirely: allow the characters a core motivation, but otherwise let the narrative do the heavy lifting. I think I'll end up with fundamentally more organic individuals.
#writing advice#narrative stuff#i've been thinking about this a lot#some of this thought process is absolutely coming from a place of#'i have ocd and ruminate entirely too much on having 'perfect' characters so maybe if i just stopped it would hellp'
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I know we’ve talked a lot about what the OI boys smell like, but what are the scents they’re attracted to? Like what perfume are they smelling at a bar or a club or the grocery store and are like “damn I need to ask them out” - if that makes sense 💜
Santiago I think is most susceptible of all the boys to getting lured in by a sexy perfume. And he loves Black Opium by YSL. and Good Girl by Carolina Herrera.
Steven likes Vanillary by Lush and Egyptian Musk by Kuumba Made
I don't really see Marc being into scents. He might appreciate something light and natural like Aesop's Tacit, but its not turning his head.
Jake. Good Girl Gone Bad by Kilian. All the Kilian perfumes honestly. Angel's Share, Love Don't Be Shy, etc. Like catnip to him.
Nathan probably doesn't like anything that smells too strongly. I think he appreciates a close to the skin scent like Ghost In The Shell by ELDO, 11 11 by Lake and Skye, Not A Perfume by Juliet Has A Gun, or North Bondi by Ouai and only small small doses on the wrist.
Poe is a sucker for the caramel pistachio-y Bum Bum cream scent, Brazilian Crush Cheirosa 62 by Sol De Janerio.
Blue is a freak. the 1970's formulation of Shalimar by Guerlain or Chanel no 5.
Leto has a great appreciation for MFK scents, he can sniff out Baccarat Rouge 540 and will inhale your neck like the bouquet of a fine wine. He's also partial to MFK's Amyris Femme.
Jonathan- he likes sentimental, uncomplicated scents. Clinique Happy or CK One.
Jack from Mojave - Angel by Mugler. or just eau Naturale, brother.
#im sorry this took me months to answer#I've been thinking about this a LOT#frag HCs#Oscar Isaac Characters
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@impulsivefanwriter OOOOH a verrrry interesting concept!! I don’t think I’ll go that route with it but that’s a very good idea
in terms of Nadakhan shapeshifting I was thinking more along the lines of breaking down Jay’s mental state and trust that his friends will save him by shapeshifting into his friends :D
bc if Nadakhan can look like his friends whenever he wants, why would Jay believe that it really IS his friends when they do finally show up? >:333
#hehe#i've been thinking about this a lot#a really cool concept! but i don't think i'll have nadakhan infiltrate the group rn#ninjago#cabinet man au#jay walker#nadakhan
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ID: A three tweet thread by @/Imani_Barbarin reading:
“People keep saying that disabled people should vote for progress, but fail to realize that things have gotten considerably worse for us during the pandemic.
You all are killing us and are outright hostile because we continue to exist despite your best efforts.
Services were cut off during the pandemic and disabled people struggle to get supports. Our services have never been fully funded and that led to our deaths during the pandemic.
We are in the midst of a direct care worker funding crisis and it’s going to kill many of us.
We have been shunned from society because you want to “move on.” And now with the CDC dropping mask recommendations for nursing homes and medical facilities to mask, many of us will be cut off from our healthcare as well.
And not only do you not care,
You seek to extract from us the only thing you deem valuable in us for ourselves: our vote-all while not making any efforts to ensure its safe and accessible to do so.”
END ID
#voting#us politics#covid mention#ableism#cdc#mask requirements#like i have a lot of thoughts about voting#but#i've been thinking about this a lot#systemic ableism#chaotic shit#imani barbarin#accessibility#disability
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