#i'm supporting someone through something awful that is also affecting me. just not as much as them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sea-buns · 5 months

Text

Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.

Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.

Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.

But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.

We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.

All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.

I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?

I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us

#i got SO carried away LMAO #i dont think ive ever written any posts about gorgug specifically #i made a lot about colin. and some about pib. and some more about zacs performances in general.#but never anything gorgug-focused. i just wasnt on tumblr at those other times that hed been on my mind like this #you can tell i still couldnt resist talking about colin lol #he was just so fucking good. a fantastic character all around. i cant imagine a better example to get my point across than him #when i do posts like this its all very much just me taking a vague idea and working with whatever comes out in the moment #so when i tell you i very much did not plan to get lost in the counterargument and had to stop for a second to remember what my point was #my point still stands but so does everything else #you dont realize it. how similar gorgug and colin really are. or how metaphorical the bug tunnel was.#or how gorgug IS the epitome of little details. small acts. quiet rights and wrongs. the faint causes and the even subtler effects.#u dont truly realize it until youre writing it yourself in a free flow fugue state and it all comes to a halt cuz youve blown your own mind #anyway i love gorgug and i love zac pcs and i hope this post makes sense cuz finding the right words was fucking hard hah #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fantasy high sophomore year #fhsy #gorgug thistlespring #the ravening war #trw #colin provolone #zac oyama

74 notes · View notes

socheckitout-mikey · 2 years

Text

these weren't requested but i'm still in love with brett talbot, so here ya goooo! (': <333 - mae

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Dating Brett Talbot Hc's:

° Ngl Brett can be a mean boyfriend in the sense that he likes to tease (bully) you playfully a lot of the time, but he never actually means it or wants to hurt you because he's really so soft on you™.

° If he gets too rowdy just tease him back ‘cause he secretly enjoys it! Banter is one of his only languages lmaoo.

° However, please speak up when and if he’s hurt your feelings: Brett prizes honesty over most things and he’d rather you be up front about something that’s bugging you. Otherwise he’ll figure it out for himself through other signals you give out - and trust me, he’s like a mother goose: He will find out!

° Always will apologise when he’s taken things too far. He’ll be extremely honest if something ever bugs him, but he’s got thick skin and not much can wound his ego: or so he thinks…

° Honestly, underneath all that hothead jock stuff is a real, genuine softie. He loves snuggles and affection! Practically demands it and becomes pouty when he doesn't get it. It's quite adorable!

° Just straight up flops his head on your tummy or lap for some head pats. He loooves it when you play with his hair, and can be a bit unfair when it comes to returning the favour because he’s a brat haha.

° You want hoodies and great big jackets much too big for you? Sweet, they're yours now! He loves you in his clothes and can't say no to you taking them, even if he's practically naked.

° "I'm guessing that you actually want me to be naked around town right? That's the fourth hoodie this month."

° "I don't know what you're talking about!"

° "You're such a loser. You have to just be a thief huh?"

° Bonus points if you wear his spare Jersey! Though not so much when he needs it.

° "Babe this is a problem-"

° "But it's comfy!"

° "I can't play without a Jersey! Cough it up you little thief."

° "Awe man!"

° Lmaoo you act like you're dying or something.

° “It’s only gonna get smelly and dirty…”

° Brett's pretty blunt/opinionated so he may mince his words a lot, but he means well, I promise! Even if he is a total savage.

° He’s known for having a protective streak, but he’s not particularly overbearing such as Derek Hale or Stiles Stilinski. However he would move mountains for you if given the chance. He’s the type to make sacrifices for the ones he loves: Just look at his sister Lori.

° Perhaps expect a bit of unsolicited opinions on other people in your life - especially newcomers. His intuition is insanely on point. He chalks it up to him just being a werewolf, which is partly true, but he’s got good judgement. He’s also got good people skills, knowing how to trust himself on pretty much everything. His protectiveness naturally falls into place when it comes to his pack and you. He may (will) bite if someone fucks with his loved ones.

° Hands down is willing to fight anyone and anything for you if it’s warranted. Regardless if it’s a supernatural threat or not.

° Lmaoo you gotta be there to stop him from wolfing out on the kid who gave y’all the stink eye when you were in line at the movies. He says he just wants to “scare him”, but we all know better than that, don’t we?

° Is a sucker for when you attend his practices and games, especially when you cheer for him. He appreciates the support, a happy grin dawns across his face, which is wholesome indeed.

° Once he attempted to show off in front of you during a game and he quite literally fell from grace. That mouthful of grass sure did pack a punch! Luckily he had his mouth guard on, but yourself and Lori still go on about that one to this day. It’s unfortunate for Brett who gets rather salty about it.

° Spontaneous late night drives that just hit differently. Sometimes they’re quiet, Brett’s hand smoothing circles into your thigh that make you lull off to sleep. Other times he’s blasting music with you, belting out the best tunes.

° It’s always a ritual for you both to get huge slushies at 7-11. His treat always. He won’t let you even put a cent towards them. Slushies are his treat and he always gets a bad brain freeze because he decided to inhale that stuff essentially!

° Slushies are his treat to get for you because you typically do a lot of things for him that make his heart melt. He’s usually very busy because of practices, games and studying - often extremely tired when all is said and done. Sometimes he doesn’t see you as much as he really wants to, but you always find a way to see him or do little things for him that just makes life that much easier. He wants to repay you back somehow. So paying for things on dates and such is his way of ensuring you know that he loves you most. As if the insistent cuddles and kisses when you are together didn’t already put that across.

° Brett always picks up your calls, even at 4am. His sleepy, "Babe?" rumbles into the phone and warms you up.

° If you're upset then it makes you cry harder, which wakes him up immediately. He stays up with you until you both pass out if he can't come to you for whatever reason. He's a werewolf, but his motor functions when he's tired will cause him to crash his car pretty easily. However, he wants to be there for you whenever he can. He’d really feel rotten if you didn’t reach out to him when you needed comfort or he didn’t answer.

° But often the calls are humorous yet he still answers them just in case.

° "What do you want?"

° "Did you know axolotls regenerate their limbs?"

° "Seriously? You called me at 4am for this?"

° "But it's important-"

° "I'm hanging up now."

° "No, I love you!"

° Lmaoo he just laughed and hung up! He did send you a voice message that went, "I love you, you dork." with a laugh to it.

° He loves you really though, I promise!

° Brett tries his hardest to keep you as separate from the whole supernatural thing as possible. It can be really challenging as both worlds often blur together alarmingly in Beacon Hills. However, it isn’t long until you find out his werewolf secret - much to Satomi’s displeasure of course. She just wants to protect her pack at the end of the day, so it isn’t anything personal. She understands that once you’re aware of such a secret, it draws in darker things. So she also wishes to protect you.

° The way in which you discovered his secret was chaotic, harmless, hilarious and quite frankly innocent. All I can really say is; you’d come over to his house only to walk in on Brett starting to fang out, his features warped into a grotesque expression with razor sharp teeth, fury thick sideburns appearing and glowing gold eyes piercing in the blue like of his computer screen. Lori had come into his room for the hundredth time that night to mess with her brother whilst he’d been playing a game on his PC. It was one time too many by the looks of it, the pair yanking the mouse back and forth between them with Brett snarling and snapping at his sister momentarily. Even the cable had snapped like a brittle elastic band. Yet they fought over the crackling mouse ferociously.

° You stood there frozen like ice, unsure of what you were seeing. Honing in on Brett’s appearance. It was the erratic beating of your heart that let the pair know someone had intruded on their wolfish argument. Brett just about had an aneurism when he saw you - Lori squeaking out an, “Oops!” just as she let go of the mouse.

° This movement sent Brett flying backwards onto his bed, somersaulting onto the floor and splatting his back into the once pristine dark green wall. He sat there dumbfounded, drywall speckled in his hair, coughing with the wind knocked out of his lungs.

° You were like 👁️👄👁️ before pointing at him and saying with the utmost conviction, “I KNEW YOU WERE A FREAK!”

° Waaaaaay to break the ice dude! Lori almost peed her pants laughing whilst Satomi stormed up the stairs to see what the hell was going on. To say she was unhappy was an understatement.

° That was how you realised werewolves existed! It was definitely not what Brett had anticipated, but he wasn’t complaining. Your instant acceptance made it easier for you both to move forward. Honestly, he’d actually expected you to wuss out, running away and screaming. When he told you that, you may have put salt in his coffee as payback.

° Though moving forward became a thorn in his ass when a bunch of useless questions came firing out of your mouth all the time. We’ll never forget the, “If your butt gets itchy when you shift, do you slide along the carpet like a dog?” You honestly did deserve the pillow that got launched at your face lmaoo.

° Your relationship is definitely not all sunshine and rainbows. Where it is teasing and light loads of the time, it can get pretty heavy and serious. Arguments between the pair of you are pretty unbearable. The area is cleared by everyone else because words can get quite brutal. You both can also be quite stubborn, so reuniting, communicating and putting things behind you can be quite difficult at times: Especially on Brett’s behalf, because he always wants to be right and definitely thinks he is the majority of the time.

° But he does wave his white flag of surrender. You always know that an apology is on the tip of his tongue when he sits beside you quietly, fiddling with the tips of his own fingers. His apologies are sincere and he does his best not to repeat the same mistakes twice. He’s good enough to admit when he’s wrong, and he expects the same in return.

° Despite how he may appear to most people, Brett is incredibly loving, kind, sweet and considerate. He puts those that he loves first always, doing his best to protect them. You’ve got a ride or die kind of guy here, but he won’t let you or anyone walk all over him.

° It’s pivotal that you get on really well with his younger sister Lori. She means the world to him, meaning that she isn’t going anywhere. It is a great thing that you guys get on so well: Lori tells you all sorts of soft things Brett says about you. Also sometimes she tells you embarrassing things he did when he was younger which makes him go bright red with embarrassment! Don't worry, he chases after Lori, giving her the noogie of a lifetime as payback before she shoves him off a little embarrassed herself, because, “Great, now I stink of your smelly armpits!”.

° Brett is an amazing listener. He doesn’t seem like he would be, but he is. He’s always observing other people around him and it’s just natural. His silence may seem daunting, but he’s really just letting you vent out your frustrations, disappointments, hopes, dreams and so on. If you want his advice then he’s happy to give it to you, though be prepared for possibly encountering something you weren’t quite expecting. Brett tells the truth, but will try to say it as respectfully as possible. He’s also your biggest hype man, offering lots of praise and sweet nothings.

° Brett’s a good secret keeper. Lots of his friends and pack tell him their secrets. Once it’s been entrusted with him then he’s keeping it safe: Not another soul will be told unless for safety reasons I suppose.

° He loves it when you fall asleep on him. Sometimes he’s mischievous and pulls a small prank on you. Where there is Brett, there is usually a prank about to go down. They’re usually quite harmless when it comes to you. However he is known for playing dirty.

° Brett never forgets a date. Be prepared to be showered in gifts and to go on the cutest planned out things for special events, etc. He’s very thoughtful and gets the gist of what you like and don’t like. Sometimes they go wrong, but he always saves it in the end. He’s smooth after all.

° You always return the favour, doing things for him that makes him so damn happy! In fact, you’re always reminding him to pace himself, ensuring he eats properly and whatnot because he often forgets with his busy schedule.

° Surprisingly you’ve protected him more times than he can count when it comes to the supernatural side of things. Despite being human yourself, you pack quite the punch. We won’t forget the time when you decided not to run in Sinema after Brett got slashed in the stomach trying to protect Mason.

° “Just get outta here!” He’d snarled at you.

° “In your dreams, Talbot. You think you get to steal the show?”

° You were lucky that Liam and Scott had turned up when they had with Kira, because you weren’t faring well with a bloody bar stool in your hand!

° Boy did Brett give you hell for that one. He made you promise never to pull a stunt like that again, but when the time comes again, there’s not much left to debate. You just react. You’re just as protective of him and Lori as he is.

° What is left of his pack loves you very much. You even him out and he seems to make you feel more sure of yourself. Satomi is happy you humble him lmaoo.

° Cuddles galore! Y’all are so gentle with limbs intertwined. Usually one of you will fall asleep. The amount of photos both of you have of the other sleeping is cute! Obviously Brett catches you in the act more often.

° After every game, win or lose, he gets a kiss from you both before and after. Before is for luck and after is either for celebration or comfort. You get crushed in the biggest sweaty hug ever. You never get used to that one haha!

° If you go to Beacon Hills, he playfully calls you a “traitor” - and so do all of your friends. Coach Finstock has a personal vendetta against you for “dating the enemy” and constantly asks you for inside secrets. You’re the only one besides Scott McCall that he can stand. Being friends with Liam may result in both a disgruntled Brett and Liam. Both are disgusted: Liam being very vocal about it and Brett being just as vocal, but respectful-ish nonetheless. Who you’re friends with isn’t Brett’s business unless they hurt you.

° If you attend Devonford, just know that you’re both the it couple. Man you guys are gorgeous! A lot of people are jealous of you ngl. Who wouldn’t be? You’re dating freaking Brett Talbot!

° You guys stick together through thick and thin. It’s very sweet. And as you age together, you grow up to be better people.

° BRETT AND LORI DO NOT DIE! CANON PULLED A PRANK ON US!

° Instead you saved the pair, stopping them from climbing the ladder out of the sewer system just in time. Luckily Brett pulled through after almost succumbing to his wounds that Deaton wasn’t sure he’d survive. You never gave up hope - even when other people told you to give up.

° With each dark period that settled over Beacon Hills, Brett became more protective over you. But he wasn’t scared to face those adversities, which made you decide that you weren’t either. You found more courage in being with him, finding where you belonged in this new world and pack available to you.

° After highschool is said and done, Brett is adamant to take you and Lori as far away from Beacon Hills. It’s challenging to fight the pull towards such a prominent place, but you manage it. A weight lifted off of your shoulders. It’s easy for you all to blend into the city or town that you choose to settle in. As they possess the gift to hide their scent, other creatures are kept at bay: The siblings are able to control their shifting - teaching you such arts that Satomi had once passed down to them.

° Brett has rugged scars that didn’t quite heal after his near death experience from Liam’s mixup. He’s a little self-conscious, he can’t deny it, but they don’t deter you at all. The jagged, scarred tissue where the arrow went straight through is mesmerising to you, something you subconsciously trace whilst you lay in his arms at night.

° Nowadays Brett has trouble healing from the amount of wolfsbane he’d been given. It doesn’t stop him from acting the same way - snarling and snapping at prominent threats. He’s your wall of guardianship, but you help him understand that it’s okay to take a step back once in a while.

° If mates were a true thing, that would be yourself and Brett. You’re made for each other, able to sooth each other yet grow excited together. You match each other’s energy at the drop of a pin! Silliness runs rampant - a kind of love that blossoms in all the experiences that you both endure together; both good and bad. It’s the kind of love that isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. There’s an understanding between you both. You know what the other needs. You’re not clingy or dependent on one another. It all just flows perfectly. It feels like home. Home is where the heart is.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: closed!

#bretttalbot #brett talbot #brett talbot headcanons #brett talbot imagines #brett talbot x reader #teen wolf #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf headcanons #teen wolf brett talbot #teen wolf brett talbot imagines #teen wolf brett talbot headcanons #teen wolf brett talbot x reader #sfw #i hope you enjoyed these <3

350 notes · View notes

ryker-writes · 11 months

Text

Rybek relationship thoughts

Did anyone ask? No. Am I going to write about my relationship with Sebek because I'm so in love with him anyways? Yes. Will I be writing more in the future? Most likely. I present you with: Rybek

man I love him so much

my angry crocodile boy <3

we are very very opposites

one prime example of this: he's loud and I'm quiet

so there are times when he becomes my voice and is able to speak up for me because I mumble and sometimes stutter or trip over my words with new people

"What did you say?"

"Huh?"

"He asked if you could repeat your statement!"

he's also a lot taller than me

and he becomes my personal shield in social situations

Sebek is perfectly fine with it too <3

someone new approaches or someone I don't really like and I kinda just hide behind him or press myself into his side

it fuels his protective side

we also have very different temperature sensitivities

he doesn't do well in the cold, meanwhile I thrive in it!

I'm naturally very warm so I can help him when it gets cold...with cuddles!

so when it gets cold I will be very close to Sebek

I also listen to him talk about Malleus a lot! And in return he listens to me talk about flowers or writing things

we ramble and get lost in conversations together about our interests all the time

seriously if no one stops us we will be there for hours talking

on that same note, he also puts up with my randomness in conversations

"Would you love me if I was a crab?"

"Why would you become a crab?"

"Like if some magic accident happened and I got turned into a crab, would you still love me?"

"I would take care of you and search for a way to turn you back!"

"Awe, thank you. I think I would be a cute crab though."

"I prefer your human form."

he doesn't understand my friends much, but it's the effort that counts

it's mainly Idia that he struggles to interact with , but that's also because Idia is scared to be near him

Sebek does better with Ruggie and Silver

but he does try to keep me away from Leona and Grim

mostly because of my cat allergy

"Hey Ruggie, can you bring this to Leona for me?"

"Seriously, why can't you do it?"

"Leona will kick up my allergies."

"You're just handing something to him."

"Absolutely not! If you need something to be delivered to Kingscholar I would rather do it than you having your allergies bothering you all day!"

I go and watch him during his equestrian club activities

even though horses scare me sometimes I would try to get over that fear for him

I also completely support him in becoming a knight and defending Malleus

I even call him my knight sometimes!

I absolutely love holding his hand, giving him hugs, cuddling him, and generally shower him with affection

I also love to run my hands through his hair, but that requires fixing it afterwards so it stands again

there aren't enough words out there to describe how much I love his smile and I will do anything I can to keep that smile on his face

#ryker simping #shameless self shipping

14 notes · View notes

burningtheroots · 9 months

Note

I'm glad I discovered radical feminism when I was 13. I'm 14 right now. But it's so painful to see how misogyny affects teenagers so much. Especially the early stages. I wish I was in a all girls school and have a girlfriend. Life would be so much better if I was ignorant and was attracted to men. It's hard. I can't find anyone who shares the same opinions as me especially at my age.

At some point when I was 10-12, I would support men's rights because I was watching those incel male youtubers, which kinda affected me. It still does. There's almost no radfem youtubers I can watch, i only read books and go on reddit occasionally for info. I've also been having negative thoughts. I can't trust men no more, not even my father or male relatives. My brother, who is about 10+ years older, is the only one I can trust and talk to, but he doesn't take anything seriously. My mother is terrible, she called me trans because I said I liked girls. It was painful. Every time I talk to a boy. I get reminded of how he probably watches porn, makes inappropriate jokes with his friends, and hits girls. I hate living on this earth. Hopefully when I get older I'll have more freedom and be happy. But it's hard.

Sorry for the vent, but I love your blog. It's one of my favorite radfem accounts. Love you lots ♡

Hey!! <3

First of all, thank you very much for your kind words and support, I appreciate it!

I‘m really sorry for what you‘re going through! Especially at your age, it must be very difficult to navigate through all of this. :(

You can be sure that these incel YouTubers don’t have any truth in their words, and I hope you can heal from this horrible experience. It‘s not your fault!

I don’t know your relatives, if they‘ve been abusive or something, but I understand that you‘re distrustful. I don’t really know what to do in this situation, since I don‘t have the full picture — and I don’t want to give any advice that might put you into trouble. I just really hope that you‘ll eventually find someone who respects & understands you, and supports you. I know that it can seem impossible, but it won’t be like this forever.

With some time, I‘m sure you‘ll find happiness. You don’t have the support you need right now, and the misogyny & homophobia you experience is awful to say the least, but there are women who understand your experiences and you won’t be stuck in this environment forever. You‘ll be able to surround yourself with the people you feel safe with, and you won’t be alone.

Just as a little suggestion, be careful on Reddit, and generally online. I‘m sure you already are, but social media and especially platforms like Reddit aren’t safe especially for your mental well-being. When you found a few women-centered subs which help you, that‘s amazing, I just recommend not to interact with the rest of Reddit, since it‘s infiltrated with incels. I also only check on women‘s subs and one fandom. :)

Anyways, take care and stay strong, you got this! I‘m wishing you the best ♥️

And thank you once again, it means a lot!

#women deserve better #radical feminism #anon #misogyny #homophobia #protect girls #fight patriarchy

15 notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 1 year

Note

I had a friend (G) give up on me an another friend (E)'s friendship over 2021. At first I didn't realize, since it was the hectic pandemic days where everything was kind of starting to go back to normal but also, it wasn't.

Both E and me had a hard time adjusting to crowds and people going maskless, as well as being invited to events at people's homes and hanging out inside restaurants instead of terraces or parks. G, on the other hand, didn't understand our hesitance and was ready to take over the world partying since she had just moved out of her parents place, and she was also recuperating from a hard depression episode. She needed to go out.

This is context to present what happened. She felt we weren't supportive of her, and started making plans with the rest of our friends without telling us. Said friends didn't think anything of it, since they felt they weren't telling us because they knew we wouldn't be interested due to COVID reasons. Basically we were isolated, and only realized when we overheard our friends taking about plans we knew nothing about.

Since then, my friends apologized and we are back to normal. G also told them she didn't want to be our friend anymore because she felt E and me had been a disappointment to her in her hardest days. The rest of our friends don't agree with her, but they also still hangout (I'm not bitter about this! They are friends, which I respect and would never ask anything of them that would hurt them).

G never bothered to tell us about her feelings or her decision. She just simply started to ignore us and go on with her life, completely disregarding everyone else's feelings (since the friend group is pretty much broken at this point, I'm trying to say I wasn't the only one affected here).

The funniest thing to me, though, is that she's repeatedly said to another friend that she's okay hanging out with us now, she doesn't mind. When I was told of his, I felt awful. I'm still hurt. The world doesn't revolve around you, G. There were consequences to your actions and you never bothered trying to talk to me.

The grown-up thing to do would be reaching out to her and talk it through. But I couldn't give a fuck about mending any kind of relationship with someone so self-centered.

The actual grown-up thing to do is to evaluate whether it's worth it, realize it's not, and not bother. How long before she does something similar again?

47 notes · View notes

kitausuret · 2 years

Note

Comics asks: 15, 24, 34. Any or all!

15. Tell me about a plotline that could have been interesting if anyone else wrote it.

I already answered this for one thing, but you know what? I'm gonna do the other story that I mentioned in this post but I'm going to elaborate, this time for Spectacular Spider-Man (2003) #1-5.

The thing is, I don't even think that "The Hunger" is that awful of a story arc. It's kind of an interesting premise in an era that the last significant thing that had been done with Eddie Brock was fridging his ex-wife and an uneasy reunion with the Symbiote. I've also spoken before about how much Eddie's cancer arc actually means to me and how, as messy as it was, I don't want it retconned whatsoever. THAT SAID... Paul Jenkins clearly did not understand anything about Eddie Brock or the Venom Symbiote. He's not a bad writer, in my honest opinion, and I do by and large enjoy how he writes Peter. He writes a pretty solid Peter Parker and in a Spider-Man comic that's all you can really ask for.

But there was so little nuance in how he wrote the symbiote and its relationship with Eddie Brock that I can't help but feel disappointed. He set into motion a bunch of things that would affect Venom lore, both for good and for bad, for years and years to come. Could someone have done it worse? Sure. Look at Daniel Way. But Jenkins also couldn't even be bothered to look up that Eddie Brock lived in San Francisco until he was at least 18. That's a pretty major oversight.

24. Ship that makes me cringe.

I'm gonna be mean here because I'm running out of answers for this one: Norman Osborn/anyone. "But Kita, you love Bastard 4 Bastard." Yes. But I have limits. And I'm not going to like, go into a fic and read Norman having a fulfilling or even UNfulfilling relationship. I have no interest in that. I don't care if other people ship him with whoever, Ship And Let Ship and all that, I just don't want to see it myself. I want him miserable and alone. And also I think literally all of the rest of Spider-Man's rogues gallery is too good for him.

34. Which retcon do you hate the most?

(CW for discussion of childhood abuse and self-harm below.)

This is gonna be kinda general, but honestly? Almost every single retcon that was put forward in Venom (2018) by Donny Cates. I'm not even kidding. Every single one. I'm very serious when I say that 95% of the time, if David Michelinie has established something about Venom lore, I take it as law. That includes Carl Brock's three story mansion in San Francisco. That includes what Mrs. Dempsey said about how Carl raised Eddie. That includes everything about Eddie having been an incredibly well-behaved and overachieving student!!

But more than anything, I haaaated how Eddie was literally retconned to be... more like Flash. (Especially with the drunk driving thing, and Carl being turned into being physically abusive.) That was not the point, that was NEVER the point of his character. Do you know what the point of Eddie's existence, of Venom's existence was? It was to be the flip coin of Peter Parker. Because Eddie was raised in wealth with all the resources he could have, he was raised by a father who gave him everything except what he really needed, which was affection and encouragement and someone to tell him they were proud of him. Peter grew up flat broke and without parents but he was LOVED and supported and cared for.

Venom: Lethal Protector (1993) #3

All of this is why it was considered so tragic when Eddie's life came crashing down around him all at once. It's why he was ready to take his own life in that church the night he became Venom, because he didn't know how to deal with loss. He felt he had no one to turn to, and honestly I think that tragedy is lost when you say, "oh, well, he'd been a fuckup all along through his whole life ever since he was a teenager." No. Stop that. I do not see it.

More than that, I hate this kind of... pervasive idea I see in some modern storytelling where it's implied that emotional abuse isn't like, "bad enough". That's bullshit. It can be just as hurtful as any other kind of abuse, and you don't need to retcon someone into being physically abusive just to try and make your character more "sympathetic".

#asked and answered #lol these got kinda long #I have 1000000000 thoughts about the Cates retcons particularly about eddie's childhood #i forgot to talk about the stuff with anne but that sucked too!!!!!#venom #eddie brock #peter parker

15 notes · View notes

ehlnofay · 2 years

Note

thank you so much for writing that piece about Glarthir. i hated how he was treated in the game and several of the lines in your writing really resonated w me as someone who has struggled with delusions before. "never alone and always lonely" is what got me weepy lol. anyways. thanks again for writing that and sharing it; i keep rereading it and it's very kind and lovely. i think you've made something really special.

I truly can't express how flattered I am. this is so sweet and I'm so happy that I was able to write something that resonated with you in this way.

while I've never struggled with delusions myself, I have been both mentally ill and fascinated with the psychology of mental illness since I was a child, so fictional portrayals of it feel very personal. the thing that bothers me most about the elder scrolls' portrayal of mental illness and glarthir as a microcosm of it - beyond the obvious awful stereotypes and blatant inaccuracies - is the hopelessness of it; it feels like there is no softness and characters are presented as just being Like That, with no consideration of how it affects them and no chance of getting better. psychological disorders are obviously very difficult and isolating things to experience, and without portrayals of people learning to live with and manage their symptoms or receiving support it's very easy to feel like the bad times are all there is. the glarthir piece was partly because I really like his character but also because I believe so strongly in the importance of realistic yet hopeful portrayals of mental illness and felt like I needed in some small way to refute the bleak outlook held by tes and so much other media. I'm so endlessly delighted that this came through.

truly, thank you so much for this lovely message, I'm going to treasure this ask For All Time. I hope you have a wonderful day!

#:'))))))))))))))))))) I'm going to like. stick this to my wall or something oh my gosh #ask

9 notes · View notes

greylunar · 2 years

Note

Hey, can I ask you an device in something very personal? I recently had some sucess with my art and is on track to becoming a career which makes me incredibly happy. But, like, I was born in an upper middle class family. I graduated high school at 16 and got into college at 17. I changed majors so much that now, at 24, I'm no close to graduate that I was back then, I actually just gave up engineering(my like 6th major). I've been very depressed since I got into college, actually, because yes I wanted to make money but I also really really wanted to like what I do for living and the only thing I ever liked was art but I never had the courage to take that risk which is so stupid. But, my point is, I don't deserve to be able to live off my art, you know? Im lazy and a fuckup. There are so many more deserving people out there. Even doing this, coming here and whining about it, just proves how out of touch I am. And I know this. I know this and I think i should step aways from the arts, I think it's not right for me to occupy a place there. I know all that people will talk is how I only succeeded because I didn't had to work(more like couldn't get work) until 23 and because my parents supported me(which fuck they are abusive asholes but they did). Look, I don't know, I know that if I say this stuff my friends will say that I'm crazy on giving up a dream but I just want to hear the truth from an unbiased person. I'm 24, never worked until 23, live with my parents still, a college dropout who spent 7 years fucking around in college with an existential crisis. There's people who suffer through uni, I just gave up. There's people who work awful jobs, I just rely on my shitty parents. There's people who worked harder, deserve it more, right? Besides, I tend to be so delusional. I told my friend I was self-made, can you believe it? That because I wrote my book and it was sucessuful then I was self made. She did right and pointed out all my privileges, and she had a point. A very valid point. Now I'm asking around for strangers opinions I guess bc I don't know what to do

Long reply under the cut c:

Alright, upfront I’m going to be honest friend, I don’t know if I’m going to be the person who’s able to give you what you’re looking for here. Even if this small look into your life allowed me to make some sort of unbiased evaluation of your situation and merit, I don’t think I would. I don’t think I have any right to do that for anyone. So this isn’t going to be like some sort of point evaluation of wether or not you tally up enough personal worth to deserve to do what you’re passionate about for a living, because blanket statement, you do. You’re not evil, you’re not unworthy of happiness, you’re not a fuckup, you’re literally just some guy who’s had a couple privileges but is obviously still going through a lot. That’s like half the population. It doesn’t make you an asshole, it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy. It just means you’re a person. You’re just a person. And I think people deserve inherently to try and find what makes existing less shitty for them.

I’m going to be real bud I think it makes a lot of sense that you’re struggling with this. Like you graduated so early and it’s fucking insane trying to know what direction you want to go with your life when you’re 19 and 20 and in college, already it’s unreasonable to ask of someone and you started trying to do it when you were 17. No one could be ready for that. It doesn’t mean you were lazy or stupid it means you were 17 and scared and overwhelmed. You were just a kid. And of course throwing a kid in that environment would affect your depression, of course you’d be stuck in what felt like an endless existential crisis. There’s nothing wrong with dropping out. It’s not because you weren’t strong enough or determined enough or anything like that, it’s being honest with yourself and brave enough to acknowledge that college was not helping you, that in order to take care of yourself you had to admit that it wasn’t the right time for it. Relying on your abusive parents for money and housing? One, that’s a problem in its own right for you like it sucks to be financially dependent on your abuser. Two, fuck them, if you have the option yeah take their money. Three, having the privilege to not have to work is just that, a privilege. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person inherently. You being able to rely on your parents for financial help does not equate to “and so they don’t deserve to have an art career.” You’ve had a shitty couple of years. You don’t need to turn away a career that would make you happier as penance for stuff that was already shitty. I think you deserve this chance. I also think you deserve to give yourself a break. Self esteem sucks and I know it’s not as easy as just saying that, but maybe talking to a therapist would help if that’s an option for you. You’re beating yourself up for just trying to exist man. We’re all just trying to exist. I mean I changed my major a bunch, I dropped out (twice), I’m unemployed right now. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you don’t think it makes me a fuck up who’s unworthy of something good. The same goes for you, it’s just harder to see it when it’s yourself. I dunno if this will help at all, but even if it doesn’t I guess I hope things get better for you soon friend. In some ways I hope you let them get better for you. Take care of yourself, and try and be gentle with yourself, in the moments you can.

4 notes · View notes

oceanmoonstarz · 2 days

Text

The Valkyries frienships

Someone asked about it and i got way too much into it so i'm also making separate posts lol (you can find the original post here)

【 Marlene & Mary: 】

Meeting

They actually meet in the line for the sorting hat, as they came out one after the other, and so ended up sitting next to each other for the meal since people made space for them at the same time. They talked a little and you can see a relationship bubbling, but at that time, Marlene is really struggling with befriending girls and so it doesn’t really goes anywhere.

Their relationship strengthens when they discover they’re roommates, but Marlene is mostly spending time with James and Pete those firsts months of first year and so Lily & Mary really get close and she doesn’t really know how to include herself.

Dynamic

They’re very masc4fem. I think around second year, Marlene develop a little bit of a girl crush on Mary but never really act on it (and doesn’t even realize it really? She just think she’s jealous because she wanna be Mary bestest friend yk) and so it pass without affecting their relationship. Lily and Mary really teach Marlene like, girl friendship. The sleepovers, the giggling and gossiping, judging the boys because they’re immature, etc. Mary especially is the one that really introduce her to makeup and teach her, as she’s learning herself, which make them have some.. interesting looks.

After Mary date Sirius, they love making fun of him for that, because he was an awful boyfriend, and don’t hesitate to bring it up every time they want something (it works sometimes).

Marlene teach Mary how to fly on a broom, and she loves it, but not enough to join the team. They often go for rides on the weekend while Lily is studying. Once Mary manage to get them a mini radio and they figure out a spell to get signal, they attach it to Mary’s broom and spend hours in the sky listening to music and talking about everything.

One night, Marlene was crying about some family issues and Mary just joined her in her bed and gave her a hug before putting on a silencing charm as to not awaken Lily, they didn’t talk that night, but Marlene fell asleep holding onto Mary.

I think Mary develop a little bit of a crush on Marlene once she starts to express herself more. When she dye her hair, Mary start behaving weird but quickly get it together before it fuck over their relationship. There’s always the what if, but once they grow up, they realize they wouldn’t have worked out together and probably would have lost years of friendship along the way, so it is for the best.

Marlene and Mary stays quite close even with the war, as Marlene got a harder time trusting Dumbledore and really doesn’t wanna lose her friend. Mary on her side doesn’t feel as strongly about Marlene joining because she understand that this is fully her world and she can’t leave it behind, so the riff is less intense. When they talk, they don’t really mention the war or the order, but Marlene update Mary on how Lily is going.

Mary was the first person Marlene told when she thought about asking Dorcas to move in together, and Mary had to hype her up so she doesn’t choke and never address it lol

They would often go for tea time, Marlene introducing Mary to the wizard version and she loved it! They tried to go at least once every 2-3 months, even after they left Hogwarts. Marlene loved the cucumber sandwiches, they were her favourite, and Mary hated them, so the other girl always had double the portion because of it.

Mary brings back rollerblade one summer, and she end up teaching Marlene who becomes Obsessed with them. Mary brings her a pair as a gift after winter break, and they start racing each other’s in the corridors. Rollerblade are quickly put on the DO NOT list, by Minerva.

Angst

They don’t have much angst for me. They mostly go through school supporting each other’s. If they disagreed on something they would just not address it, and so other than very minor situations, they didn’t fight at all in the entire time they knew each other’s. Mary was there for Marlene when she was sad about her family, even though she didn’t have much context because Marlene wouldn’t really say why she was crying; and Marlene would support Mary through the rough patch with Lily and the bullying by Mulciber and Barty. The blonde would start hexing people on her behalf after 5-6 year, going to detention with a grin.

Mary was one of the last person Marlene saw before her death, and she was the first person -after the order- that Dorcas called to break the news before the papers can get a hold of the story.

Every few months, Mary would go to Marlene grave with tea and biscuits and sandwiches and eat there while telling her about her last news. She would always leave her a cucumber sandwich.

Their song:

It was literally changing all the time, depending on their vibe and how they felt about each other’s. Every summer and winter break Mary would come back with a new album and they would find their favourite out of it. One of their favourite to sing thought was Mr. Big Stuff because they would always sing it to Sirius lmao

#marlene & mary #marlene and mary #the valkyries #starz yap #marlene mckinnon #mary macdonald #marauders hc #the marauders girls #marauders fandom #marauders era #Spotify

1 note · View note

darklingichor · 6 months

Text

How To Be Champion, by Sarah Millican

Well, I did it again, I have too many books and not enough year left, so time to post and extra entry!

I recently discovered Sarah Millican's stand ups and I love them! In one of them, she mentioned her book and I knew I had to read it.

It's fantastic! Other than Jenny Lawson, I don't think I've related so much to someone's writing.

How To Be Champion is part autobiography, part essay collection, and part advice column. In this book "Champion " is slang for good, okay, content, happy.

Ms. Millican is from the North in England and like every geographical region, has its own slang.

Me being raised in the PNW in the 90's the closest equivalent would probably be "How To Be Chill". But I like Champion better, doesn't have the demand of calmness.

Anyway, Ms. Millican goes through her childhood with supportive parents and people at school largely being twatwaffles and this was my experience too.

Something I absolutely loved and I think should be on posters in schools across the globe is when she said not to worry if you don't have a romantic relationship when you're in school, you're there to learn.

I had that viewpoint when I was in school, why do I need to worry about dating when I'm having enough trouble with algebra? I couldn't care less if I had a date on Friday, someone help me understand why someone put the alphabet into math!

She discovers in school that she can write well.

She details her life working hard at several jobs, and getting married young and then getting divorced, before getting into stand up.

Some of the chapters I liked best were ones where she went into how she found wonderful friends who supported her though developing her act as a comic, and the ones where she let's it rip on beauty standards, and life expectations of women.

Ms. Millican has commited the sin of being a woman above a size 2, who doesn't have aspirations of becoming a size 2 and (rightly) thinks that how she looks has nothing to do with her worth as a person or a comic. She has a career, a new loving husband, and pets but doesn't want kids. How dare she make a call like that regarding her own life?

Honestly, I find her inspiring. As a woman who is also bigger and is okay with it most days, it's nice to hear about this from someone who isn't just "love your body" but also "Why the fuck does it matter??"

She wrote about the time she was nominated for a BAFTA and found a dress, and prepared for a fun night out with her husband. This happened, but afterwards she was insulted on the internet and in the press proclaiming that the dress that she wore was awful and she was fat and ugly.

This is just so crappy. And unnecessary, why attack someone like that?

She wrote publicly about how this affected her and how she would just wear that dress again the next year. She happened to have been working the next year, but wore that dress to her show. Hell yeah!

By the way, I was curious about the dress, there's a pic in the book showing part of it, but I wanted to see it full length so: Google. My first thought was: "I want that dress!" It's so pretty!

And Ms. Millican looked damn good in it, but the important thing was that she said she felt good in it, and it's unfair that some people try to take that away from others.

When it comes to kids, it was also cool to read about someone who is open about not wanting kids, and also open about how annoying it is when everyone tells you that you will change your mind, as if other people know what you feel better than you do.

It isn't just the parts that I related to that made this book great, it's also fucking hilarious

From interactions with her family to vacations and outings with her husband to her recipe for cake, this book made me laugh out loud so many times. I adored it!

#books #book #book blogging 2023 #sarah millican #how to be champion

0 notes

kierancampire · 11 months

Text

Also I won't say too much as it's their personal life and not mine

But I have a friend who I genuinely do really like and we get on well. But an issue I have with him is that he comes toe a lot for support and help with things, ideas and such. And he does offer me that in return, but he fucking sucks at it. You can write him 8 paragraphs of an issue and his "support" is going "That sucks" or "I'm sure you'll figure it out" and that's pretty much it! And the thing is, I'm getting kinda burnt out lately as I noticed literally EVERY time I spoke to someone, it was them venting at me about something or wanting support with something, and it was exhausting, but part 2 of the issue is yes, no one's there for me in return, and the people who offer just never give me good advice or make me feel cared for, and I'm kinda getting at my limit of constantly being there for everyone's problems, yet no one being there for me, especially when some of my shit has been exceptionally heavy

Anyway. It was a relationship issue, and I could tell by the fact he hasn't spoken to me that it's not good, but then I saw his most recently played song on the PS4 is "Since U Been Gone" which yeah, it tells you how that worked out. And the thing is, I feel bad ignoring him, I feel bad not reaching out, I don't want him to hate me and I don't want him to be alone in pain. It was quite a serious relationship that had progressed quite far. But I know the moment I talk to him it's just gonna be all he wants to talk about and I'll be the therapist friend again. Which, he should talk about it, it'd fuck anyone up and he's going through a lot, I dunno what his housing situation is like right now, his job, anything, it was all tied to the relationship, so he has the right to be upset and want to talk about it, and I wanna be there for him. But I really just can't handle another conversation where all someone does is vent at me and expects support

I'm drowning in my own shit, I have been for years, I have had to go through so much of this alone, almost no one has helped with a single part of this housing process, in fact, others bogged me down by repeatedly telling me to give up. I need company. I need support. I need care. I need affection. I need a friend. But so many people have just expected that from me, yet not a one has given it back in return. I feel like an awful person ignoring him when I know he is in great need and probably is waiting for me to reach out so we can talk about it, but I just can't keep being this person for everyone, it's gone on for so many years, yet I have gone through so much alone. If I got even a piece in return for all I give, I could stomach it, but I can't keep taking on everyone's pain then being left alone with it all

#personal

1 note · View note

thelasttime · 1 year

Note

bestie i may need some advice. my best friend is dating a guy right now who seems perfect in every way, everything she wants, etc. i've met him, and he seems loyal, kind, and devoted to her. this is especially great bc she was in some pretty bad relationships before this so a genuinely good guy is appreciated.

but then almost every day she calls me and tells me about how she feels unloved, how he doesn't have time for her, etc. i'm constantly talking her down and telling her that it's going to be okay, and he always ends up reassuring her, but then the same thing happens a few days later. on one hand he seems like a great person but on the other hand i don't think this is how a relationship is supposed to be? i feel like if she feels this way something is wrong and i don't know what to do.

hmm, i will say that relationships can seem really great on the outside but actually awful on the inside like it's very easy for someone to appear like they're a great partner but in actuality they're pretty bad. i think in this situation, it seems like your friend and her boyfriend, who might seem like a great guy, aren't on the same page like she might need more affection and time with a partner while he's either not realizing that he needs to do that or he just doesn't want to do it.

either way, i do think there's an incompatibility issue where if she's already told him multiple times that this is something she cares about and he's still not meeting that expectation then there's a problem. i agree with you that this is not how any relationship should be and it should be something that gets resolved so that they're not constantly going through this cycle.

obviously this is up to you if you think they shouldn't be together. i will say that you shouldn't go up to her and just say "you guys should break-up" because it seems like your friend is still trying to stay with her boyfriend and that could end super badly (trust me, do not tell anyone to break up with their partner .. it never ends well unless they themselves are already thinking about it).

i would maybe suggest asking her about the relationship like as she's telling you these things and saying something along the lines of "hey, i want to be here for you as your friend and i appreciate that you trust me enough to talk about these issues. as your friend, i want to know if you still think that you want to stay with this person or if it's causing you too much distress that you think otherwise." this way you can give her both options where you're going to support her either way but .. floating the idea of a break-up .. into her mind

also i will say that you're doing a great friend for supporting her when she calls you everyday. i'm sure it's not easy to always talk someone down from their feelings and it's most likely a heavy burden for you to carry. i hope this answer helps!

#asks #asking you this*#anonymous

1 note · View note

mothergamer28 · 2 years

Text

Doing My Best

I've been struggling with my anxiety a lot today. It happens sometimes. I've been living with anxiety and depression a long time and now recently SAD (seasonal affective disorder) so it's been overwhelming sometimes. I've also been kind of anxious about recent events in content creation because again and again it shows that sometimes people who have power let that power get to their head and treat others with terrible cruelty.

I'm Filipino and queer and while my relationship is not a queer one because I'm married to cis hetero man, I'm very much queer. Ron is kind and understanding when I talk to him about issues with racism and erasure of my identity that I have struggled with in the past and issues I deal with in the present. He's been honest about how he knows he can not know what I'm going through because he recognizes his privilege, but he can listen and he can be supportive. He has done that for me for almost 15 years and it's helped me get through some of my toughest days.

To say I'm disappointed that someone from our community (LGBTQIA+) who had a lot of reach and power repeatedly talk over and dismiss black people from our community who tried to talk to them about how something they said came across as ignoring the constant hate that they deal with is an understatement. It was awful and they doubled down, they behaved really unkindly, they didn't say anything about people from their community actively harassing anyone who spoke up until it got to be a problem too big to ignore, and then gave a very half assed non apology. It did not help that white people accepted that apology that was not meant for them and proceeded to tell them they did nothing wrong. I wish I could say I was surprised by it, but I wasn't. I learned that lesson when I was a kid by my mother. The system is not built for people like us, it never was. So to see someone from our community double down on ignoring fellow community members trying to educate them on colorism and bigotry within our community and how we must work together to do better and change that so all feel welcome is just disheartening and frustrating.

Frankly, when I see white/white passing people do that, it makes me wary of them. It lets me know that I am not safe in their community no matter how much they claim it's a safe space and inclusive. Their actions showed me who they really are and I believe them. I can't risk my safety and well being or my community's. I don't think they're a bad person, but their actions were not great. It's why I just keep my circle small. It's why I tell my community don't put people on a pedestal and that includes me. I am not perfect, no one is perfect, and I have to hold myself accountable. I'm doing the best I can because that's all I can do. That's all any of us can do.

We must show up for everyone. We don't cherry pick who is the more "marketable" person to show up for. We show up for everyone in our community because everyone matters and we're fighting against a system and people who hate us simply because we exist, because we're just living our lives. So today I'm anxious and worrying about everything, but I'm still here, still doing my best, and holding onto hope. I love you all. Please do your best to be kind to yourselves and each other.

#mental health #anxiety #social issues #lgbtquia+#mothergamer #twitchstreamer

1 note · View note

the-boy-with-round-glasses · 2 years

Note

Jesus I'm sorry you're going through that, workplace harrasment can be awful, is there an entity like HR that you could reach out to? Maybe a union? Sending you virtual hugs i hope you find a way to cope with this sitty situation

Honestly I do not know how I could put this out in harrassment to HR because it isn't exactly that because I can't prove that folks are weird around me for that reason, yes some people may think I'm a lesbian but they don't really act terribly around me or with me, they never even talk anything relating my sexuality(like asking me if I have a boyfriend, that one is highly intrusive but never happened so I can't go there for that reason!), they certainly can be weird but as long as it's through not being invasive like the example I have here it isn't something I can really bring to HR as a reason.

Problem is letting me go from work for that reason though, that's highly a practise in jobs, but there isn't much I can do about it anyway, my contract ends the end of this year, just makes me question how much opportunity do I have if they actually hire me, like what if they hire me and I work only for five months and get fired for whatever reason they can come up with to cover the reason is me being LGBT

Now with my supervisor who is weird but also is with everyone but specifically goes a lot to me, for reasons I can only think as either "keeping tabs on the newbie" or anything else really. I truly feel that trying to go anything HR gonna turn my relationship with her much more complicated and the HR of my workplace doesn't seem to really be good you know? Too many problems within them

Today I'm just irritated to be honest, one is always afraid on how much these things actually may affect your professional life you know? And I can not tell if might or not be a problem because people may not really know how to interact with someone LGBT but not have anything really against them but it's something that feels so out of their bubble world that they don't know how to be normal around someone who is, the old either ending up coming up as weirdly super supportive or trying their best to not sound offensive

The only thing I actually have as a proof as something that really makes me weirded out is how a lot of things I specifically am put to work on as my queue workline are related to LGBT, Womanhood and at times even Trans magazines/books, and accounting how this place has a lot of different magazines and books the fact that I'm almost always paired with that specific subjects just makes me slighly distressed, reason why I'm really on my nerves for some time now, is this paranoia? Am I overthinking this?

Also the folks who think I'm a lesbian are pretty alright and said that outside of the job, I didn't really feel uncomfortable but it did distress me more for professional reasons than anything outside of that it is cishet people being cishet people and their compulsive need of putting labels on anything that doesn't enter heterosexuality in their eyes. Quite annoying but not exactly something that makes me hate them but certainly makes me hate living in a world where this happens where something so silly and not at all that much, can be considered such a "big deal"

1 note · View note

non-binharry · 2 years

Note

Hello asia! I'm going to title this essay "Why Boyfriends is about Louis - and that's okay!" by a friendly neighboorhood trans larrie. So let's give some background shall we? If you look at lyrics in the LCU (Larry Cinematic Universe) we can all see the main problem that has come up in their relationship: communication. I'll get into specific examples later but that's what it boils down to. As someone who has been here since 2012, I don't see anything in their lyrics to be about cheating, abuse, etc. So after a few listens of Boyfriends and reading the lyrics, I came to the conclusion that it's definitely about Louis and it's all about the lack of communication Harry felt he was getting during a difficult time. But what time, you may ask? Well, dear reader, in my humble opinion all their relationship troubles are not about cheating, feeling abused, break ups w.e angst wank people seem to think gay relationships can't get through like straight ones. No, imo it lies in a complicated mix of two big things: closeting, and Harry's gender identity. *for disclaimer purposes to cishets already offended by now: saying Harry is trans could mean a variety of things. His pronouns could be he/they/she but there is no denying that in the past 12 years of Harry bring in the spotlight, his relationship with gender is there and something that trans fans have picked up on, just like the gay ones who picked up on their relationship. This is just one person's interpretation of their songs so if you don't agree please ignore it. And be kind*

So, you might say, what do you mean, dear anon? Gender in the LCU? More likely than you think! I want to preface by saying that I analyze LCU songs on what I believe happened between them: they were feeling the restraints of their closet early on 2012-14 and were bad at communicating their feelings about it (Louis personality makes me think he's very much the "lets ignore our problems so we dont dwell on them" type man), but during all that Harry was also dealing with gender dysphoria and felt like Louis was shutting him out so he had no one to talk to. So when Harry finally opened up about it, Louis felt awful for not being there for him. Too Young reads as a big apology for all of that but I'll get back to that later. Take Walls and how its about Harry. Verse 1: "nothing wakes you up like waking up alone, and all thats left of us is a cupboard full of clothes" (very clearly referring to a closet with "us") "the day you walked away and took the higher ground was the day that I became the man that I am now". Now bear with me here: imo this entire intro is Louis describing their relationship as they deal with Harry's gender identity. Why? Because look at the word "higher ground". When do you go to higher ground? When flooding happens aka water disasters. Water, which has literary themes of rebirth when you emerge from it, is a big theme in Harry's music videos. Specifically with Falling with him underwater lamenting about his identity. He's drowning, feeling worthless, "what if I'm someone you won't talk about?". I believe Falling is about Harry feeling the lows of being trans, overthinking how it affects Louis, and the music video reflects that. Now back to Walls. The day Harry was able to escape the drowning (gender acceptance and euphoria) and take higher ground was the time Louis finally felt like they solved the worst of their communication issues and Louis could be "the man that I am now" in being an ultra supportive partner. The high walls Louis sings about is the way he used to box himself in from trying to deal with their problems (that he only thought was closeting but instead much deeper) but in the end they all came "falling" (*pointed stare*) down for Harry. Thats why he laments about "hurting who you love and no amount of words would ever be enough" when its literally the love of his life "you were my because". Louis has always been supportive of the trans community so I think he was kicking himself for a long time for not noticing what was happening with Harry. That's why the "thank yous" are so bittersweet. It was a painful but necessary wakeup call of not being there for his partner but they both grew from it. Perfect Now was born out of Louis giving Harry gender affirmations. Always You and We Made It are celebrating that they got through it together. But what about Too Young and Defenceless? Fear not! Because this is how they tie into Boyfriends. (2)

Boyfriends reads as Harry feeling unsupported Louis. In fact, think of it as Harry talking to a mirror about his problems after a hard day. Verse 1: "boyfriends, they think you're so easy, they take you for granted" The you is himself of course. Because of the lack of communication in their relationship, Harry felt like Louis wasn't paying attention to him. "They don't know they're misunderstanding you". This line speaks volumes to me. When you use "misunderstanding" it means that someone isn't understanding you correctly. But the boyfriend does not know that he's not understanding Harry correctly, right? Sound familiar to past themes in songs? As stated before Too Young feels like a big apology song by Louis for not being there for him. "I wish I could've seen it all along" stands as a mirror to the misunderstanding line. "I'm sorry that I hurt you darling" again for all the pain the lack of communication caused and not being there for Harry. And the rest of Too Young follows this apology theme that answers Boyfriends. The last line of the verse ends with "you, you're back at it again" and means Harry realizes the way the problem keeps coming back and he's just back to crying about it without solving it. (3)

Next verse goes "weekend, when you get deep in" could talk about how they both aren't working at the end of the week and Harry has time to get lost in his thoughts ( reminds me of "harry you're no good alone" from As It Was). "He starts secretly drinking, it gets hard to know what he's thinking" = Louis drinking with his lad friends where he's able to vent about their problems, but Harry wouldn't know about what they're saying because Louis doesn't vent to him. "You love a fool who knows how to get under your skin" Harry lamenting that Louis isn't open about their problems and goes to talk to others instead of trying to solve it themselves (Imo Defenceless tells Louis side of the story to Boyfriends with nod to "sleeping on our problems like we'll solve them in our dreams" and feeling shut out by Harry too). "You, you, you still open the door" when Louis comes home yet still not talking about their problems and it eats him inside. Verse 3 goes "you're no closer to him, now you're halfway home, only calling you in, don't wanna be alone, no and you go, why? You don't know". Again the theme of Harry not wanting to be alone, yet not feeling close to Louis, and questioning why he still goes through with it. Harry also sings is as "half way home" like the space in between that's just like the song Louis registered. I wouldn't be surprised if Louis Half Way Home song will have the miscommunication theme too. Verse 4: "Boyfriends, are they just pretending? They don't tell you where it's heading" and this reads like Harry feels as if Louis is just pretending to care for him at that point, and questions what's going to happen to their relationship. "And you know the games never ending, you, you lay with him as you stay in a daydream" and time for a "she" throwback! At this point everyone must know that She is all about Harry's gender journey. "She lives in daydreams with me" is a clear reference to this daydream line. Harry truly feels himself in those daydreams that Louis doesn't know about. And someone might listen to "boyfriends" and think "well why doesn't Harry just tell him?". If it was only so simple. Harry being trans could have made him scared of what that meant for his relationship with Louis. Would Louis break up with him? Would he look at him different? Would he not support him? Again this is the love of his life since he was 16. It can be incredibly scary to think Louis would leave him because he found his true self. It's very clear that Harry tends to think of worst case scenarios when he's hurting, and the fact he couldn't talk with Louis openly added onto those fears. They were already having problems because of what their closet put them through, so imagine Harry thinking it would be worse with a gender crisis. That's why he tells himself in the mirror "you're a fool, you're back at it again". It becomes a cycle of hurt once again as long as they don't talk. (4)

So now as this essay comes to an end, someone might ask "well who is to blame for their problems?". Let us not forget the real villain of the story: homophobia. The closet due to this gave them their biggest problems, and we can't even begin to cover what the homophobic world has done to gays mental health. Also Simon Cowell can burn. Now as for Harry and Louis? I think they both realized how bad their communication was and were able to solve it with each other. Louis tried to keep them happy in their closet by not talking about their problems caused by it, and while it was with good intentions, it ended up leaving Harry alone to deal with his gender identity. Harry's gender journey ended up (to no one's surprise) being fully supported by Louis once he knew, and it ended up making their relationship stronger. I believe Lights Up was born right after this, with the themes of "never going back" and the questions of "do you know who you are?" recurring about identity and feeling joy about finding yourself. It fills me with joy to know that Harry has a partner in Louis that loves him truly and was able to give him so much support over the years (that is obviously reciprocal you heathen rads). I truly believe Harry wouldn't be here without Louis. They are it for each other and always have been. So thank you Louis Tomlinson for being the partner all of us trans folk would want in our lives someday. No wonder H is so much in love with you.

#i'll post my own interpretation of the song in another ask which doesn't go nearly as in depth as yours does here #so honestly it could be like... along the same lines but without so many words #but i absolutely love the way that you have put this much thought into this song #and that it has been tied into other songs by the both of them #there are interpretations within the interpretation I personally may not agree with or really put into consideration into #but yeah this is so well thought out and i think it'll definitely resonate with others #lovely lovely interpretation ❤️❤️❤️#anonymous #mensaje mensaje

280 notes · View notes