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#i'm livin' on the edge!

igotsnothing · 2 months

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The extremely cool and talented @kuroashims whose style is unmistakable and unique, tagged me for this test and picrew thingie and all I have to say is that she wins the internet plus two mochis for being a real-life archer and having two bunnehs! Me? This is me. I’m actually a big nerd in real life, too! Heh!

🌘 quiz + picrew : your inner adventurer

You know who else gets tagged + mochi? These awesome peeps: @eljeebee, @lynzishell, @alinelie, @simarcana, @merrymomo, @hamasutaa, AND -BE STILL MY HEART- @damseljamsel, @moonfromearth, @crabbeychick, and am I forgetting someone? Hmm... Lemme think...Hm. KIDDING! @greighish

#non sims #tag games #i don't know if I agree with the test result #i'm not a boring goody-goody #like #i don't have a problem tearing the tags off the mattress #or jaywalking #livin' on the edge

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rheya28 · 7 days

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Ink Heart Tattoo Shop ♥ The Sims 4: Speed Build // CC

Ink Heart is a small industrial tattoo shop that combines urban edge with a welcoming vibe. The space features graffitied and exposed brick walls, giving it a raw and artistic feel.

➽ Rheya's Notes:

● Hello my lovelies! It's been a while since I last posted a build. I'm still quite busy with school until end of August, so build releases are gunna be inconsistent. I will try my best to upload and will notify you all if anything changes. ● Anyways, for this build I used Cepzid's tattoo mod! I placed this build as a generic lot type, but you can also have it set as a cafe!

➽ Important Notes:

●Please make sure to turn bb.moveobjects on! ● Please DO NOT reupload or claim as your own. ● Feel free to tag me if you are using it, I love seeing my build in other peoples save file ● Feel free to edit/tweak my builds, but please make sure to credit me as the original creator! ● Thank you to all CC Creators ● Please let me know if there's any problem with the build

➽ Speed Build Video

00:00 Beginning 00:02 Intro 00:25 Speed Build 10:55 Photos

➽ Lot Details

Lot Name: Ink Heart Tattoo Shop Lot type: Generic or Cafe Lot size: 30 x 20 Location: I built this in San Sequoia, but it could be placed anywhere

➽ MODS

● Tool Mod by Twisted Mexi ● Functional Tattoo Chair by Cepzid Creations

➽ CC List

Note: I reuse a lot of the same cc in all my builds, specifically cc's from felixandre, HeyHarrie, Tuds, and Pierisim so if you're interested in downloading past, present, future build from me i suggest getting all their cc sets to make downloading a little easier! other creators include Sooky, Charlypancakes, Sixam, Thecluttercat, Myshunosun, awingedllama, Peacemaker, kiwisim4. This will also ensure that the lots are complete and are not missing any items upon downloading ! Joyceisfox ● Simple Live pt [4] S-Imagination ● Nota Living Room [painting] Simlicy ● Sketches Sooky ● Abstract Framed Art Wooden frame Xtc ● Graffiti Pack House of Harlix ● Bafroom ● Baysic ● Harluxe ● Orjanic pt [1][2] Bbygyal123 ● Aesthetic Collection ● Martini FelixAndre ● Berlin pt [3] ● Chataeau pt [2] ● Colonial pt [3] ● Florence pt [4] ● Grove pt [1] ● Soho [all] CharlyPancakes ● M&S Construction pt [1] ● Sleepy Head Collection ● Soak Harrie ● Klean [all] ● Kwatei ● Octave pt [2][3][4] ● Spoons pt [2] ● Jardane ● Livin Rum ● Kichen Lilac Creative ● Jewelry Collection [sign] Little Dica ● Rise & Grind Myshunosun ● Arrie [laptop] ● Gale Dining [rug] Peacemaker ● Creta [Plant] ● Post Modern living [artwork] Pierisim ● Autie Vera ● Calderone ● Combles ● David Apartment pt [1] ● MCM pt [1][3][5] ● Oak House ● Stefan bedroom ● Unfold ● Winter Garden pt [1] ● Wood Land Ranch Mlyssmakescc ● Pufferhead [wall art] Ravasheen ● Art Attach Graffiti Sixam ● Hotel Bedroom [desk] ● Teen room [wall light] The Clutter Cat ● Sunny Sundae pt [3] Syboulette ● Contemporary Haven [wall art] ● East Oak [wall art] Tuds ● 2nd Wave [chair] ● Cross [wall light]

● Tray File: Patreon Page ● Origin ID: anrheya [previous name: applez] ● Twitter: Rheya28__ ● Tiktok: Rheya28__ ● Patreon: Rheya28 ● Youtube: Rheya28__

#ts4 #sims 4 #thesims4 #sims #thesims #sims 4 cc #simblr #the sims 4 speed build #the sims 4 build #ts4 build #sims 4 cc build #ts4 sceenshots #build #builds #sims 4 build #sims 4 tattoo shop

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samandcolbyownme · 5 months

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Summary: Anon request - "so can you maybe write a fanfic where the reader is in a relationship with Colby, but he cheats on her at a party, so to get him back, she cheats on him with Jake but when he finds them in a room getting busy he decides to join"

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, mentions of drinking and smoking (weed and cigarettes), arguing, mean/hurtful things being said, Colby cheating on reader, reader getting even, threesome, choking, biting, hair pulling, scratching, rough unprotected sex, cream pieS, just filth

HUGE disclaimer: I KNOW Colby is a sweetie and wouldn't do any of the things I'm about to write, same with Jake so please don't take any of this serious. I'm already hurting writing them as assholes but also kinda excited. I also made up some people to make the one shot go smoothly - enjoy!

Word count: 7.2k | not edited

Part two

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

"Y/n. Are you about ready? With the traffic we're going be late." Colby peaks his head inside the door, smiling when you turn around, "Yeah. I'm ready."

"Wow." His eyes move up and down your body, "That dress looks amazing on you."

You can feel the heat in your cheeks riding up, "Oh.. thanks." He walks in, hands sliding over your hips, "You picked a good one." He presses his lips to your forehead, "Now come on. I can't wait to show you off."

Your hand slides into his as he pulls you towards the doorway. The last few days, something has been off.

Something in your gut telling you not to go to this party, but you didn't want to upset Colby. You knew he was looking forward to this for a while now, so you pushed the feelings away and went anyway.

As you're in the car heading to the party, Colby glances over at you, giving you a smile, "Are you excited?"

You shrug, the feeling in your gut returning, "Yeah." You smile with a nod, "Kind of."

"Kind of? Do you not want to go?" He frown slightly and you shake your head, "No, I want to. I just have this weird feeling that I can't seem to shake."

"I'm sure you'll be fine when you get drink or two in ya." He lays his hand on your knee, hand gripping the wheel as he takes off from the red light he was stopped at.

"Yeah, let's hope." You laugh slightly and look out the window. As you pull up, you can already tell it's going to be a packed house party.

"Maybe that's why." You mumble and Colby looks over at you after he parts, "What's why?"

"There's a lot of people." You look at him and he chuckles, "It's all people you know, baby. Now come on." He gets out, walking around to open your door.

Everything was going good.

"Ayooo." Sam yells from across the parking lot, Kat hanging on his arm, "Hey, y/n!" She waves and you wave back, taking Colby's hand into yours as you walk towards them, "How are you?"

Kat nods, "Better once I've gotten a drink." You nod, "I know what you mean." You walk in with the small group, looking around as the music fills your ears and the smell of weed fills your nose.

"This is going to be so much fun." Sam kisses Kat's cheek, "I'll go get you a drink." Colby looks down at you, "Whatcha want, babe?"

You smile, "Surprise me."

"Ooh, livin on the edge. I like it." Colby kisses your head and jogs to catch up to Sam.

"You two seem to be doing very good." Kat smiles and you nod, "Oh yeah. Never a dull moment, you know." She laughs, sitting down on the small couch, "Yeah, with Colby you never know what to expect."

You didn't really think that applied to your relationship, but you'd soon figure it out.

"Ain't that the truth." You laugh and look over as the boys walk back with the drinks, "Here you go." Colby hands you a drink and you sip it, "Mm. That's good."

"Fruit punch and vodka." He moves next to you, laying a hand on your back as he continues to talk to Sam.

You look at Kat, "We may as well be dating because it sure seems like our boyfriends are boyfriends."

She laughs and looks over at Sam, laughing harder as he looks at her, "Who has a boyfriend?" She points between him and Colby, "You guys."

Colby laughs, "I mean.. I don't mean to brag or anything but.." you all laugh and you shake your head, still sipping on your drink.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

A little while later, you're inside, standing in a group with more people, Jake, Johnnie, and a few others you know well.

You've had a few cups and you were feeling tipsy, you had a small buzz going on. You were giggly with Kat and few of your other friends.

"Need another?" Colby asks and you look down at your half full cup, "No." you look back up at him, "I'm still good for now."

He nods, knocking back the rest of his, "Be right back." Colby walks away and Kat grabs your arm, "We should totally be partners in beer pong."

You nod, "Oh my god! Yes!"

She turns to Sam, "When Colby gets back, bring him over to the pong table so we can play against you guys."

He nods, "Okay. Where'd he go?" He looks around and nods when he sees him getting another drink, "Found him. Okay we'll he over."

Kat grabs your hand, pulling you over to the already set up table, "Okay, which end do you want?" You look and point to the other end, "That side."

You both move to the other end, perfecting the set up of the cups as they walk over, "Alright." Colby says with a smirk, "Who's ready to lose?"

"You guys apparently." You smirk, eyes on Colby, "Losers have to shotgun."

"Deal." Sam and Colby say in unison. Sam rolls a ball over, "Well shoot for who goes first. Good luck babe.”

Kat picks up the ball and tilts her head, "Thanks, you'll need it." She shoots her shot and makes it. Sam makes his and makes it.

"Alright. Our turn." Colby picks up his ball from the water cup and moves it around in his fingers, "Go ahead, babe."

You smile and shake your head, focusing on the cups. You make yours and Colby misses. Sam smacks his arm, "Dude. What the hell."

"Sorry. I was distracted." He winks at you and you roll your eyes as you smile, "Mhm."

Halfway into the game, each teach has two cups left and you've drawn a crowd, mainly for commentary on the playful and flirty trash talking.

Although, you're kind of distracted by Colby looking past you occasionally. You can tell he's looking in your direction, but not at you.

And that's not like him.

You glance behind you, seeing a girl with a smile plastered on her face. You follow her gaze and you know exactly who she's looking at.

You take a deep breath, focusing on the second to last cup - making your shot.

Kat shoots, missing hers, giving the guys a turn.

Colby shoots and misses, usually you'd say something to tease him but at this moment, you don't want to risk saying something that might actually embarrass him.

"What? No trash talk?" Colby holds his arms out to his sides and you just shrug. Kat nudges you and leans in, "Your whole mood just changed."

"I'll tell you then." You say as you catch the ball before it bounces off the table. You sniffle, holding the ball up to take your shot.

You miss and let out a sigh, "hurry up and end this game for us Kat."

They all laugh like you said a joke, but there was nothing funny about it.

Kat makes her shot, giving the boys each a redemption shot, which they both miss. You grab your empty cup, walking away from them as you make your way to the alcohol table in the kitchen.

"Hey. What's going on?" Kat follows you, walking up to your side, "You just got like really mad."

"Is it that noticeable?" You cringe and sigh, "Sorry."

"Whoa. Hi. Its me. Kat. I just won the game for us. Why are you-"

You cut her off, "Colby wasn't looking at me."

"What do you mean he wasn't looking at you?" She looks at you confused and you glance to the door, looking down at your full cup, "The girl behind us. He was looking in my direction but he wasn't looking at me."

"I don't think.." she shakes her head, "No. there's no way Colby would do that. Say something to him. Talk to him."

Sam and Colby walk through the door. Colby is silent as he nods his head for you to come off to the side. You take a silent breath and walk over, avoiding eye contact with him.

"What's going on?" His stare holds on you and you continue to stay quiet. He looks over at Sam and Kat, "Give us a sec guys."

They leave the kitchen and he rubs your arm, "Hey. Talk to me."

You look up at him, "Who were you looking at during the game?"

He looks at you confused, shaking his head slightly as he tries to comprehend what you just asked him, "Who was I what? What do you mean? I was looking at you."

You shake your head, clearing your throat as you try not to let the tears take over, "The girl.. behind Kat and I, she was watching you."

"Jake was standing behind you doing weird motions to try and throw me off." Colby laughs, "I can even go get him and have him-"

"No." You shake your head, "That's fine. I believe you."

"I only have eyes for you, y/n. You know that." He tilts your chin up, rubbing it gently with his fingers, "I love you."

You smile, nodding while his hand is still on your chin, "I love you." He leans in, pressing his lips to yours before leaning back, "Come on. Let's go watch Jake and Johnnie fuck shit up."

He lays his arm over your shoulders and you walk out with him.

Throughout the game, Colby would yell stuff to Jake and look down at you, rubbing your back as he smiled at you.

Maybe you overreacted?

Maybe you needed another drink.

You finish what's in your cup, "Do you need another?" Colby hands you his empty cup, "Please." He kisses your cheek and you smile, turning to go towards the kitchen.

"See." Kat says walking next to you, "Everything is fine. Plus, if he was looking at her, he was probably looking at how awful those extensions are."

You laugh, "Yeah, they are god awful aren't they?" You make the drinks, swirling them around a little to mix them up before you guys head back out.

Everyone is cheering as you walk up to Colby, "What happened?" Colby takes his cup, "They just made both balls in one cup which means they automatically win the game."

"Oh shit. Good for them!" You watch as Jake slowly spins with his arms out to his sides. He accidentally hits Johnnie in the head and you can tell he tells him not to stand there.

You laugh and shake your head as they walk up to you guys, "So. Who wants to play the winners?"

You look at Kat, "Why not?"

She laughs, "Alright. Well give it a go." She walks over to the table with you and Sam and Colby move closer to talk.

"Ladies first." Jake rolls the balls over the table and you smile, "Awe, how sweet of you ladies to let the prettier ones go first."

Jake's jaw drops and Johnnie looks at Jake, "You couldn't have just shot for the first turn? Idiot."

You and Kat laugh, making each of your shots and Jake stares at the table, "Oh fuck." He looks at Johnnie, "I think.. we're screwed."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

"And that's game." You look at Kat, "We're good at this."

Kat laughs and nods, "I'd say so." She looks at Jake and Johnnie, "Good game, fellas." She grabs her cup and walks away.

"Let me know if you wanna get screwed again." You laugh and pick up your cup, walking to go find Colby. You see Sam and Kat, but don't see him anywhere.

"Where Colby?" You look at Sam and sip your drink. He shrugs as he bops to the music, "Last I knew he was with a few people taking shots."

"Taking shots?" You scoff quietly and roll your eyes as you take a long drink, "Nice." You walk around, looking all over for him, but you still don't see him.

"Hey, have you seen Colby?" You ask Mason and he shakes his head, "No, sorry." You nod, moving back through the crowd.

You go back to Sam and Kat and lo and behold, Colby is standing there with two shots in his hands. He turns as Sam points to you and he smiles, clearly a lot drunker than when you left him to play another game of pong, "Hey baby! I got you this!"

You take the shot class from his hand, "What is it?"

He takes his, "Just take it."

You sigh and take it, almost gagging when you feel the burn of tequila in your throat, "Oh my god. Colby! That's teq-uila."

You lay your wrist over your mouth and he purses his lips, "Fuck, sorry. You don't like tequila, sorry. I forgot."

You give Kat a look and she nods, "Why don't we go dance?" She nudges Sam, obvious that she filled him in on why there was tension in the air with you.

Sam nods, "Yeah, Colby. Let's go shake some ass, brother." Colby laughs, "Fuck yeah. Let's do it." He reaches for your hand and you take it, smiling slightly.

You make your way onto the dance floor as Yeah! by Usher starts playing.

"This is my jam!" Colby yells out as he grips your hips, moving his own and you can't help but laugh. Sam watches in horror as Colby dances and Kat covers her mouth to not laugh.

"Go Colby!" Sam yells, waving his hand in the air, "Go Colby!"

Soon everyone around you was cheering Colby on, chanting, "Go Colby! Go Colby!"

the song ends and you shake your head, laughing as he walks up to you, "why didn't you dance?" You lay your hands on his chest and you laugh, "You were the star of that song, babe. Good job though."

He laughs and sighs, "I need another drink, do you?" You nod, "That would be nice, do you want me to come with you?" He shakes his head, "No because I'm going to make you a surprise drink."

"No tequila please." You yell as he walks away and your attention is turned to Jake pulling Johnnie onto the floor and dancing around him like he's a stripper pole.

"These two fucking kill me." You say to Kat as you laugh. She nods while laughing, "Poor Johnnie."

Everyone starts cheering for Jake and he eventually starts laughing as walks off, leaving Johnnie to stand there clueless on what to do.

He soon walks off and you look over towards the kitchen, "What's taking him so long?" You mumble to yourself. You look to Kat, "I'll be right back."

She nods and watches you walk away. You walk into the kitchen - no Colby, but what you assume is your cup sitting there because it has the same color lipstick you're wearing printed on the lip of it.

"What the fuck?" You sigh, walking over to make your own drink. You turn around, looking side to side beside walking back out.

"Hey." You stop Jake and he looks at you, "What's up?" You look around, "Have you seen Colby?" You look back at him and he looks around, "I seen him go into the kitchen but not after that."

You nod, giving him a quiet, "Thanks." As you go to walk away, he grabs your arm, "Is everything okay? I've been picking up on some tension."

You laugh slightly, trying to make light of it, "You can feel that?"

"Honey, you can Scooby doo cut that shit like a pie and serve it on a glass plate." He tilts his head, laughing at his own joke, "Yeah. I can."

"Scooby doo that that.." you laugh, "Yeah that's what I was afraid of."

"Come with me." He turns and walks towards the sliding glass doors and you give one last look before following him when you don't see Colby.

"Have a seat, miss. Talk to therapist Jake." He sits down and pulls a cigarette out of the pack. He extends his arm out and you shake your head, "I'm fine."

"Suit yourself." He lights it and takes a drag, "Now, when did, whatever is going on, start?"

You laugh and let out a sigh, "When we were playing beer pong. I swear he was staring at a girl who was standing behind me. But I talked to him and he said you were also standing behind me doing stuff to distract him."

Jake stares at you for a few seconds, "I was force feeding shots to Johnnie. I meant I came in towards the end but I wasn't standing behind you guys. I was more off to the side."

You clench your jaw, "Huh.. okay. Well that makes sense as to why I didn't see you then."

"What girl are we talking about?" He crosses his leg over the other and rests his elbow on the arm rest of the chair.

"I don't know who it is. All I know is that her extensions are horrific and she should sue her hair dresser." You raise your brows and huff, "She has brown hair, it was half up, half down. Wearing, I think a pinkish purplish two piece dress thing."

"I think you're talking about Casie. And if you are.." Jake takes another drag, "You don't have anything to worry about. Colby can't stand her."

You nod, "Well, that's a good thing.. I think." You finish your drink and crinkle the cup in your hand, "I just.. okay. I had this really weird gut feeling about coming here tonight and I just.."

You sigh and look at Jake. He leans forward, "Colby would be the absolute, most dumbest mother fucker in the world if he did anything to ruin your guys relationship."

"Yeah." You nod, laughing as you convince yourself that you're just causing a bigger thing within your own mind, "You're right."

You sigh and stand up, "Thank you, therapist Jake."

He smiles and holds his hands out, "Anytime. Anytime."

You walk back inside and something is off. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that it's just you, you can't shake it.

You walk into the kitchen, making yourself another drink before walking back out. For some reason, something tells you to walk to the back of the house.

As you round the corner, you stop in your tracks. Your hand crushes the liquid filled cup, a constant stream falling out of the split sides.

Colby has that girl against the wall, hands on her hips as his tongue is in her mouth. She opens her eyes, smirking at you as he starts to kiss down her neck.

You see her mouth, "uh oh" and giggle as Colby leans away. He looks at her then turns his head, eyes going wide as he realizes that he'd just been caught ruining the once perfect relationship.

You turn, walking away before he even steps towards you.

"He- whoa. Hey. Hey." Kat holds onto your arm as she stumbles with you, "y/n. Hey. Wha-"

"Colby was kissing that girl. Kissing down her neck while pinning her against the wall." Your anger bubbles up more as you repeat what you just saw, "Fucking asshole."

Kat is as a loss for words and you sigh, "I need a minute." You pull your arm away from her and she immediately rushes to Sam to tell him the awful news.

You go outside, walking down towards the cars as you try to hold it together. You bend down, laying a hand on the back of a car.

It just so happens to be Jake's car.

"There better not be puke on my car." He laughs slightly as he leans out of the door, quickly coming to the realization that you are in fact not puking.

"Hey. What's going on?" He gets out, bending down to get to your eye level. He brushes hair from your face and drops his hand, "He didn't."

You look at him and nod, "Mhm. Had her.. pinned up again the wall.. kissing on her neck. She was absolutely loving the fact that I caught them. Exactly what the bitch wanted, too."

You scoff, looking away as you shake your head.

"I'm- fuck. Im so sorry." Jake drags his finger over the rocks, "Can I do anything?" He shifts forward, resting on his knees, "What can I do?"

You look at Jake, locking eyes with him, "I-" you stop yourself from saying something you might possibly regret later, but right now, you weren't looking to flip out on Colby.

You weren't looking to be made a fool in front of the hundreds of people that were here.

You were looking for revenge.

"I want.. to get him back." You keep your stare on Jake and he shrugs, "I mean, if that's what you want to do.. then go talk to him. Get him back, girl." He laughs slightly and you shake your head, moving closer to him, "No.. I want to.."

Your eyes jump back and forth from his lips to his eyes before grabbing his blank tank top and pulling yourself into meet his lips with yours.

At first he's shocked, leans away and stares at you. He licks his lips, a slow smirk growing on his lips, "Yeah, fuck him."

He cups your face, pulling you back in to kiss him. Your lips move with his, moaning quietly against his as you feel a sense of power wash over you.

"Do they have empty rooms here?" You lean back, tilting your head and he raises his brows, "Oh, you want to take this all the way?"

You nod, "Only if you're okay with it."

"I've done worse things. I'll meet you upstairs." He quickly gets up, shutting his car door and makes his way inside.

You slowly stand up, looking around to see if anyone saw what just went down. Luckily, you didn't see anyone, but a part of you wishes someone had.

You wipe under your eyes, your mind on one thing right now.

Jake waiting for you upstairs.

As you walk in, rounding the corner, you run into someone. You step back looking up and instantly shake your head as you see Colby looking down at you.

"No. Mm. Not doing this here." You go to walk around him to the stairs but he grabs your arm, "Please.. can we just talk?"

"Talk? You want to talk?" You scoff, "okay. Fine. Let's talk." Your voice isn't quite a yell, but it's enough to get the attention of the people that are close to you, "let's talk about how we are now obviously not who we used to be."

Colby stands there, looking from everyone staring then back to you, "Y/n."

"You wanna know why we aren't who we used to be? Because you had to go.." you step towards him, "..and fucking cheat on me."

Colby frowns at your voice cracking, "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? For what? Not remembering that you have a girlfriend?" You lay a hand on your forehead and sigh, "You know what. Fuck you. Fuck you." You push him slightly, "How fucking could you?"

The tears are now on the verge of winning and your heart shatters more when you see Kat standing there with tears in her eyes.

Colby is silent. Unable to find the right words to say, not like there is any.

"Now, if you'll excuse me." Your voice goes almost silent as you walk away. Quickly making your way up the stairs case.

All of the doors are closed and you just pick one and walk in, shutting the door behind you. You turn around and jump slightly when you see Jake sitting on the bed, "Long time no see."

You laugh slightly as you wipe under your eyes, "I just slightly lost it on Colby."

"As you should." Jake tilts his head as he leans back, holding his body up with his arms extended behind him, "Should have clocked him too while you were at it." Jake bites his lip, "Now that would have been sexy as hell."

You laugh slightly as you walk over to him. You stand in front of him, looking up and down his body as you slowly move to straddle his waist.

He moves one hand forward, placing it on your thigh, "What do you want to do here, y/n."

You slowly push his tank top up his abdomen, "I think you know what I want to do." You look up at him and he nods, "Yeah." His hand drags up and down your bare thigh, "I think I have an idea."

You lean forward and his hands move to your ass as he lays back. You flip your hair behind you and lean in to kiss him.

The slow make out quickly turns into a heated, full of passion and revenge make out.

His hands slip under your dress, squeezing your ass as you grind down on his growing bulge. Your voice is quiet, "Fuck me, Jake."

He can't help but smirk as you kiss back his jaw and down his neck, "please." You beg in a whimpered tone, "I need you."

He rolls over, laying his body over yours and your hands immediately move to help him undo his pants.

He frees his cock, pushing your legs open more with his hips.

He pushes your panties to the side, running his fingers up and down your folds a few times, "Shit, you really want this don't you?"

You nod, "I've always found you hot. I can admit that now, right?" Your smirk goes away as soon as he pushes his fingers inside of you.

You whimper, trying to moan quietly as he slowly pulls them out and pushes them back in, "You're so much hotter to me now."

He leans down, lips crashing onto yours as his fingers work in and out. You lay your hand on his cheek as you reach down with the other one, gently wrapping your hand around his cock.

He pulls his fingers out and leans up, spitting into his hand so he can coat himself before rubbing the tip against your pussy.

He watches his cock go into you before leaning back down, lips brushing over your cheek as you moan, "Fuck." Your nails dig into the skin his tank top doesn't cover and you drag them outward, "Jake."

He groans lowly into your neck as he starts to slowly thrusts his hips. He kisses up, making his way back to your lips. Your fingers lace in his hair, tugging slightly as your leg lays over his back, "Yes, yes, yes!"

You were so in the moment you didn't hear the door open then close. You look over Jake's shoulder, smirking when you lock eyes with Colby, "Uh oh."

Jake leans up, looking at you confused before he follows your stare and quickly gets up, covering himself.

Colby's stare is on you.

"What the fuck is this?" He points between you and Jake and you shrug, "What the fuck was that downstairs?"

Colby sighs, "That wasn't.."

"What? Wasn't what it looked like? Because, correct me if I'm wrong but.." you sit up, "That definitely looked like you were cheating on me."

"It was a fucking kiss, y/n. I didn't put my fucking dick in her."

"Yeah, but I bet you wanted to." You lift your hand and drop it, "That was the goal, right? From the moment you stared at her through me at the pong table?"

He shakes his head, "No. none of it was planned okay."

"Then why were you kissing down her neck, pulling her closer to you? Doing all the things you do to me?" You cross your leg over the other, leaning back on the bed, "I am just so.. fucking mad at you. I wanted you to feel how I felt."

Colby stands there in silence, you can see his anger bubbling up, and you knew what he wanted to do.

But you weren't going to make it easy for him.

Jake points to the door, "I'm just go-" he starts walking towards the door but Colby's words make him stop, "No. Jake. Stay."

"Yeah, Jake. Stay. I'm not done yet." You look over at Jake and bite your lip.

Colby chuckles, "Mm. I see what's happening here. You want to what, punish me? Fine." He motions to Jake, "Punish away."

Jake stands there, thinking about the situation.

"Was she a good kisser?" You look at Colby and he shakes his head, "Not even slightly good." You raise your brows, "Mm."

"Come on, y/n. I don't know what you want me to do." Colby scoffs, laughing slightly, "Do you want me to watch you fuck Jake? Is that what you want?"

You shake your head, "No. I want you to share me with him as you tell me just how sorry you really are."

Jake's eyes are on you, leaving you alone with Colby wasn't happening.

Leaving you in general wasn't happening.

He wasn't done with you, either.

"Well, are you going to try and fix this. Or are you going to go down and ki-" Your words are cut off by Colby over and pressing his lips to yours. You wanted to throw him off, push him away.

Anything, but you couldn't.

You needed him.

You needed Jake.

You needed them both so bad you were aching. If this was the last time you were with Colby, might as well make it a good one.

For Jake, not Colby.

Your anger didn't just go away, you still wanted him to feel like his heart had been ripped out.

"Need you both." You gasp out as Colby sucks a mark into your neck. You look over at Jake, reaching out for him. He comes over, taking your hand into his.

Colby's hand slides down your body, slipping in between your thighs. Jake moves to sit down next to you, his hand lays on your neck, squeezing slowly as he leans down to kiss you.

You moan into his mouth as Colby's fingers slip inside of you. Your hand moves to Jake's half zipped jeans, gripping the waistline of them, "Please."

Jake lets go of your neck, moving his hands down to undo his jeans.

Colby clenches his jaw, pulling his fingers out as he tilts his head, watching you watch Jake. His eyes follow your hand as they wrap around his cock.

He doesn't like it.

Not even in the slightest little way.

You shift around, leaning forward so your ass is in the air. Jake focuses on you because he knows Colby isn't happy.

But as he should be, right?

You stick your tongue out, dragging it up the underside of Jake's cock, earning a low moan from him.

Colby shakes his head, looking away as he cocks his jaw. He clears his throat and you pay no attention. You wrap your lips around the head of Jake's cock, moaning slightly as you take more of him in.

"Fuck." He whispers lowly as he lays a hand on the back of your head, "Just like that." He pulls his lower lip between his teeth, tilting his head back slightly as he looks over at Colby.

If looks could kill, Jake would be dead.

Colby looks away, walking around to get behind you. His hands push your dress up more, moving it to around your waist before sliding his hands over your ass.

His hand lifts up, coming down in a hard slap, earning a whimper from your lips. You continue bobbing your head, swirling your tongue, putting all of your focus onto Jake.

Colby pulls your panties away from your body, holding the over with his thumb as he works on getting his cock freed with one hand.

You feel his spit run down over your folds and it drips onto the bed. He moves forward, rubbing his cock against your folds before slowly pushing it, a groan leaving his lips.

You dig your nails into Jake's thighs, fighting back the urge to moan.

You lift your head, a string of saliva still connecting you to Jake. He wipes the corner of your mouth and gets down, getting on his knees at the side of the bed.

His hands cup your cheeks, leaning in to kiss you as Colby’s hands grip your hips harsher. You whimper, failing at what you were trying not to do.

You moan into Jake’s mouth and push your hips back to meet Colby’s. Jake runs a hand through your hair, his other hand cupping your chin as his thumb lays over your lips.

You wrap your lips around his thumb, tilting your head back as Colby thrusts all the way in and holds himself there.

“You still want me?” Colby asks in a cocky tone. Your eyes meet Jake’s, “No. I want Jake.”

Jake looks at Colby and Colby chuckles as he pulls out, “I see, you wanna see who fucks you better.” You roll over onto your back, “Go fuck yourself, Colby.”

You reach up, pulling Jake down on top of you. Your knees resting on his hips.

“You know.. maybe I will.” Colby sits down and wraps a hand around his cock, “Go on. Don’t let me stop you.”

“You’re such a fucking asshole.” You roll your eyes, trying to focus on Jake and not let Colby get under your skin anymore than he already has.

Jake reaches down, holding his cock steady as he pushes into you with a low groan. You gasp, wrapping a leg around his waist as you moan, “Fuck.”

You really weren’t just moaning for show, Jake really knew what he was doing.

You can feel Colby’s heated stare on you as you drag your nails across Jake’s exposed shoulders.

Colby really didn’t like this, as to why he fixed himself and just sat there, but you both were too stubborn to just call it quits.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” Jake whispers in your ear and you move your head to kiss him, moaning against his lips.

Colby sat there in pure anger. Watching one of his closest friends fuck his girlfriend.

Ex. Girlfriend.

“Fuck, fuck.” You whimper, back arching off the bed, “so close.” You lace your fingers in Jake’s hair, tugging as you feel your orgasm roll in hard.

Your leg tightens around his waist as you clench his cock, pulling him closer to his own.

“Fuck, y/n.. you got-“ he reaches back taking one of your legs and pinning it up so he has room to pull out. He groans as his thrusts grow slightly sloppy, meaning he’s almost there.

You gasp when he pulls out, biting your lip as you feel his cum string over your thighs, running down to pool on the bed.

You turn your head, breathing heavy as you meet Colby’s stare with your own as Jake stands up to dress himself correctly.

“Are you happy?” Colby’s words are quiet and you laugh slightly, “You mean with Jake?” You nod as you sit up, “Yeah, I really am. He knows what he’s doing.”

“Mm.” Colby runs his hand over his face, “Can we have the room please. If you’re done.” He looks at Jake and Jake crosses his arms, “I don’t really feel comfortable leaving her with you.”

“I’m not going to fucking hurt her, asshole.” Colby shoots, “I just… we need to talk.”

“I don’t think we need to talk right now, Colby. Because the things I want to say to you, won’t be nice.” You wipe off and stand up, fixing yourself, “I just really want to go the fuck home. I should have never came to this fucking party in the first place.”

“Mm. So you’re just going to leave me here after the betrayal I just witnessed?” Colby scoffs, “I see how it is.”

“It really seems like you’re forgetting about what I witnessed downstairs.. if you really want to get technical, I guess it was a betrayal times two.” You roll your eyes, “I’m not doing this. Jake..” you turn to look at him, “Can you take me home?”

“You’re done? Just like that?” Colby asks and you look at him, “I was done the minute I saw you looking at her through me.”

You walk towards the door, Jake following you out as you make your way down the steps.

Eyes are on you, of course, and you hear people asking about the scratches on Jake’s shoulders, but you ignore it all.

You walk out, making your way to Jake’s car and getting in. You pull your phone out, laughing when you see the amount of missed calls you have from Colby.

Jake gets in, “So where to?”

“Colby’s, I need to get as much stuff as I can.” You look out the window as he drives forward.

“Then where?” Jake looks over at you and back to the road, “Do you have any family here or anything?”

“All a few hundred miles away.” You shrug letting out a sigh, “I’ll figure it out.”

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

A week later

“So.. wait..” Kat shakes her head, “You and.. Jake? In front of Colby?” She rests her fingers on her forehead, “That’s.. actually crazy.”

“Colby didn’t tell Sam any of that?” You raise your brows as she shakes her head, “Nothing. He closed up completely after coming down that night. He didn’t speak to no one. Not even Sam.”

“Wow.. you know he’s bad when he doesn’t even talk to Sam.” You chew on your lip, “Did that girl and him..” you trail off, eyes moving to look at her and she shakes her head again, “No. she went up to him but he ignored her. She threw a drink on him and that was when he made Sam take him home.”

“She threw a drink on him?” You scoff, “What a bitch.”

Kat nods, “It literally took all I had and a few people telling me not to make a scene. I was ready to go to war for you.”

You smile, “That’s why you’re my best friend.” You sigh, “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

“As long as you need.” She reaches over to pat your hand and stands up, “I have to go meet Sam for lunch, do you want me to bring you anything back?”

You shrug, “You know what I like.”

She nods, “Call if you need anything, even if it’s just to talk.” You nod, “I’ll be fine, but thank you.”

She smiles as she leaves and you lay back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Your mind goes back to that night, thinking about Jake and Colby. Together.

You shake your head, not really wanting to be upset right now because a part of you does feel bad, but an even bigger part of you is glad you did it.

You’ve been talking to Jake everyday, mainly him asking you how you’re doing and just chatting about his new videos that he’s putting out soon.

Anything to keep Colby off of your mind.

Your phone rings and you sit up. You reach out to grab it and you freeze up when you see Colby’s name across the screen.

“Fuck.” You whisper and take a deep breath before picking up your phone. Your thumb shakes over the answer button and you hit it right before the call is about to end.

You’re silent as you wait for Colby to speak first but he’s doing the same thing you’re doing.

“I don’t know why I called.” He chuckles nervously, “I-I’m sorry.”

“I take it Sam left you to meet up with Kat for lunch?” Your voice is quiet and he sighs in relief at you speaking, “Yeah. Yeah.”

You pick at your nail polish, eyes searching the room as you think of what to say next, but nothing comes up that’s worth saying.

“I’m sorry.” Colby’s voice shakes, “We shouldn’t have went to that party. I’m sorry. I should have listened to you.”

“Doesn’t matter anymore.” You mumble, quickly swiping away a stray tear, “Everything is said and done and I-“

Colby cuts you off, “I just wish I could go back to that night. I know I can’t change anything but I’m willing to do anything it takes, y/n. I fucked up.” Colby sniffles, “I fucked up, big time.”

“Yeah. You did.” You bite your thumb nail and sigh, “I’m not sorry about what I did with Jake. I need you to know that.”

“No, no I don’t expect you to be.” He laughs slightly and you sigh, “What’s so funny, Colby?”

“Nothing it’s just..” he laughs and sighs, “Nothing.”

“Mm.” You nod your head and he sniffles again, “I was pissed, of course I was pissed but at the same time..” he trails off and your heart starts to race, “but at the same time? What Colby?”

“I was so fucking turned on with it.”

His words catch you off guard, “What did you just say?” You sit up slightly and he sighs, “I’m not repeating it. You heard me the first time.”

A small smirk toys with your lips, “which part?”

“All of it.” Colby answers quickly, “as soon as I walked in… seeing him on you.. seeing him in you..” he pauses for a second, “I just.. I wanted to kill him but seeing him give you that mu-“

“What are you saying?” You ask, “Are you saying you want me to call up Jake and have him meet us for another threesome?” You laugh because you think he’s joking but when he doesn’t say anything it clicks, “oh,” you lay your hand over your lips, “You’re serious.”

“If it will get you to come back to me, I’m willing to share you with Jake. I’m willing to do anything, y/n. I swear.”

You go quiet as you push a few buttons on your phone.

“You there, babe?” Colby asks and you smirk, “Yep, hang on.”

You add Jake into the call, “Jake, hey.”

“What’s up sugar lips?” Jake asks and you laugh, “Colby has something he wants to talk to you about.”

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

Wowza. Okay. Please tell me how this was.. a part of me feels like it isn’t as good as it could have been but another part is like holy shit. I wrote this.

Love you all! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

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fillinforlater · 6 months

Note

It’s that time of the year again. What are some of your favorite smuts released in 2023?

Monday of Appreciation: Part 104

Hello everyone, Smite here!

2023 is coming to a close and it's been quite the year, a mixture of "this is a bridge year for greater things to come" and "WE LIVIN' NOW MF!" What is a bit different this year is that the highs weren't as high and the lows weren't as low compared to previous years---maybe that is just me getting older, maybe it's hindsight. Either way, I'm good and this year was good.

But some things are more than just good. I'm of course talking about these writers and their stories that I have featured today. All of them deserve special mention, but I want to focus on two of them specifically.

In a year of great, fantastic and already legendary fics, these two stand out.

Without further ado, let's dive into the final MoA of this year:

-1-

@fanfiction4sooya: Can't Save You Now ft. Chaewon, Kazuha, Sakura

I- I- I just read the damn tags and new I one day had to give this a shot. ff4sooya has crazy ideas, futa galore, different dynamics and kinks, which is SO MY THING. This has Mommy and Daddy involved in an absurd (and absurdly hot) threesome that I couldn't take my eyes off.

Now I definitely need to read more and you should too because I bet there are a bunch of Masterpieces in that long Masterlist!

-2-

@iznsfw: Drunken ft. Olivia Hye

Is it really a Monday of Appreciation post without IZ?

Seriously, what this genius is able to cook up in a commission or in the currently ongoing (HYPE) IZ DAYS OF CHRISTMAS is absolutely incredible. We have long stories with in depth characters and love drama that ends not only smuttily but sweetly. Who the fuck needs books, when you can just binge IZ?

With "Drunken", they have once again hit it out of the FUCKIING park. There is never enough Daddy kink fics, yes, but mine seem like nonsensical cringe porn compared to this beauty of a piece. I love how it plays with my heart, no I'm not crying---okay, now that is hot.

Let me change that: there is three very fucking special stories today!

(I think this might even be better than Levi's Hyeju, wtf)

-3-

@cataboliac: Enkindle ft. Wendy

Firstly: I LOVE YOU CATA, BIG QT!

Secondly: "Enkindle" feels a bit like coming home, like a day in Paradise, like the one person that shines so bright in your life that you don't want it to go. And you know, that is the great thing: this might be Cata's final fic, the farewell, but not only is his life gonna be great and he'll be super happy - we also get to read this again and again, and I'm sure I will one day.

Thank you, Cata, for hanging around!

Thirdly: I'M GONNA KISS YOU, CATA!

-4-

@writerpeach: Delectation ft. Wonyoung, Yujin

1.000 Notes, and it's still not enough for what is my pick for fic of the year (FOTY? FOOTY? There is a scene like that, yep). IZ*ONE truly never dies, but it is IVE and these absolute super stars, bomb shells with flawless faces and different, yet irresistible bodies that have us in a frenzy.

Talking about frenzy, all those 30,699 words are a frenzy. I thought Peach would set it up with a long and painful tease that has us edging the entire time BUT NOPE this has so much fucking smut, so many lines of neediness and horniness, it is impossible to finish in one try or two tries or... I dunno, seven-hundred tries?

It's detailed, it's straight forward, it's sex from every fucking angle, I can never get tired of this. I will go so far and say this is Peach's magnum opus, the GOAT fic by the GOAT writer. At least for that day, I can say this without a doubt.

Peach, you are crazy and thank you for that <3

#PeachPavedTheWay #AnnyeongzForDaddy

#kpop smut #female idol smut #girl group smut #ive smut #izone smut #male reader insert #male reader #idol x idol smut #red velvet smut #wendy smut #loona smut #loosemble smut #olivia hye smut #hyeju smut #wonyoung smut #chaewon smut #yujin smut #sakura smut #le sserafim kazuha smut

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blue-sadie · 10 months

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So i've seen this edit about quaritch and spider with that song "oh i love it and hate it at the same time, you and i drinking posion from the same vine" and just image it; reader who has an avatar and neteyam as her mate and she told everybody that her mom was na'vi and her dad was an avatar. When lo'ak and neteyam went to save spider they see reader in her human form and she thinks neteyam is dissapointed in her. Her avatar dies and she has to live with neteyam in her human form. The reader thinks he hates her or smtg. I thank you very much if you could write my ideea or just react <3

Sorry this might not be exactly what you wanted but I hope you like it 😁

Our Love Is Pure

Neteyam x Human Reader

Summary: sometimes our thoughts get the best of us causing us either failure or fortune

Warning: music = lyrics, reader death (kind of)

3rd person pov

Neteyam watched the horizon hoping and praying to see Norman's helicopter but every time he does his heart just breaks all over again.

Telling myself I won't go there Oh, but I know that I won't care

You saved him, you pushed him out the way and took the bullet, the bullet that would've killed him but it killed you instead.

He held your avatar as it died he pleaded and begged for eywa to give you another chance you deserved it while he didn't he should have protected you he should have taken it not you.

With each day passing no news or sight of you, his heart arches more and more he struggles to look after himself but what he didn't know it was the same for you.

Tryna wash away all the blood I've spilt This lust is a burden that we both share Two sinners can't atone from a lone prayer Souls tied, intertwined by our pride and guilt There's darkness in the distance

It took norm days just to get you to speak but with each word becomes more shakey, what is supposed to happen between the two of you.

You never really hung out with him in your human form mostly because of safety reasons would he still want to be with you.

Those thoughts were clouding your head most of the day you would spend in your room staring at the way norman says your eyes get duller by the day, your skin has become paler and your body thinner because of the lack of food and water.

From the way that I've been livin' But I know I can't resist it Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time You and I drink the poison from the same vine

Norman didn't know what to do he didn't know if contacting neteyam would help or just make it worse but what pushed him over the edge is when you came stumbling into the kitchen bearly holding yourself up.

You collapsed and he caught you before you hit the floor you blacked out, that was his breaking point they put you onto one of the med beds attaching an iv to your arm and made sure you were stable.

And once they knew you were safe he contacted jake to let him know about the situation and jake could almost say the same was happening there.

Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time Hidin' all of our sins from the daylight From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time

When jake finally told neteyam what happened with you neteyam finally expressed emotion other then sadness and finally did something other then stare out into the open sea.

He tried to get on his ikran but his father and mother tried to stop him and reason with him to stay.

He finally burst and let his emotions out shocking his parents screaming at them that he needs and too see you and how he would be dead without you

Tellin' myself it's the last time Can you spare any mercy that you might find If I'm down on my knees again? Deep down, way down, Lord, I try Try to follow your light, but it's night time Please, don't leave me in the end

He yelled about all the times you were there for him and now he's gonna be there for you, his parents let him go because either he was going back.

The ride was long and terrible his lack of food and sleep was making his ikran nervous and almost crash afew times.

He finally felt relieved when he saw his home land in the distance and he spoke to himself praying that you would hear him, I'm coming baby hold on.

There's darkness in the distance I'm beggin' for forgiveness (ooh) But I know I might resist it, oh Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time You and I drink the poison from the same vine

He dodged the floating rocks and ignored as some ikran riders tried to talk to him as they flew past he didn't care all he cared about was you.

When he landed he could tell something was off when norman came running at him and telling him you need him.

He didn't even let norman finish and dashed into the lab his eyes widening as he saw the many scientists crowed around you.

His heart clench and his body began to sway with dizziness he already lost you once and he wasn't gonna lose you again.

He crouched at the head of you bed looking down at your face you and your avatar were almost identical.

He slowly and softly caressed your small face with his fingers as he spoke to you as tears streamed down his face, baby please don't do this to me I can't lose you again.

He sat there even after the other scientists left he sat there staring at you his hand clenching yours He was to scared to let go.

To scared to lose you, it only took 2 hours before you woke you your face twisted in confusion as you felt someone holding your hand.

It took you a couple minutes to open your eyes but when they did they filled with tears, neteyam tried to hug you but all you did was push him away.

He felt rejected and hurt in till he heard you speak "why are you here" you sniffled he felt confused.

"W-what do you mean baby" he murmured trying to think of reasons you would rejected him.

"Neteyam my avatar is dead" your voice was strained and raspy "what does that have to do with anything" he asked sitting beside your bed.

You didn't know if was joking or just trying to fool you "n-nete i-" "do you think I'd just leave you because your avatar is dead".

It was like he could read my mind, I looked away from him ashamed "yn I fell for you, your beautiful personality not your body" he murmured caressing my face and bringing it to look at his.

"I fell for your clumsiness, your idiotic ideas that always get us into trouble I fell for you" his words drew a quiet giggle from you making him smile.

"I feel for your mind and heart"

Tag.List

@greekgods15

@sweetirilly

#avatar #avatar pandora #avatar x reader #avatar way of water #avatar x reader fluff #avatar fluff #neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam fluff #neteyam x avatar reader #neteyam x reader fluff #neteyam x avatar reader fluff

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angryrantsofdomesticity · 6 months

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Mic sits in his recording booth with a haunted look in his eyes.. Mic: Listeners..last night I made a grave error I won't soon forget... Mic: I'll start by saying..my husband..Eraserhead is fosterin' a LOT of cats. Mic: We got 25 in our apartment & they like to hang out in the livin' room. Mic: Some on cat trees, on the back of the couch, window sills, under the table....cats EVERYWHERE! Mic: Anyway, I came in late last night.. & it was quiet and... Mic:... I sneezed...VERY LOUDLY... Mic: & THE NEXT THING I KNEW..!!??? Mic: Arched backs, bottle brush tails!!! Cats soaring through the air like springs!! Burning out around corners!! Side-tables tipped, scratching-posts over-turned!!! A cacophony of hisses & yowls!! One cat on the ceiling fan, three on the drapes,& 2 climbing my ass!!!! Mic: And in the midst of all.. Shota emerged from the bedroom...First on edge..but then realization struck...& I saw the embers of rage ignite in his cold, dark eyes... Mic: And with each air-born feline that wizzed past his head...I knew...I'm sleepin on the couch for a looooooong time!!!

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mycollectionmylife · 4 months

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"I'm reckless and feelin' no pain You know I've got no need to control Livin' with the danger I'm always on the edge now With million dollar visions that I hold Livin' like this never ever tore my life apart I know how to maintain and you know I know my part"🎤🌹🎸🔫🌹🎩🎸🤘

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becca-e-barnes · 1 year

Text

I'm not really feeling like myself today so I'm gonna indulge myself a little.

I don't remember the last time I talked about anal on here but more specifically, I'm imagining Lee and his little innocent wife again (I know you've all missed Lee as much as I have 🥵)

I think anal would be something she wouldn't often ask for because I always imagine she's quite shy about asking for what she wants but anal becomes one of their mutual favourites very quickly.

The way Lee would dote on you before anal just makes me melt. He's not nearly as reckless and rough. It's all gentle praises and soft kisses, trailing his thick fingers against your soaked sex until they're well enough coated in your arousal that he can slide two into your ass.

He'd be so mesmerised by the way you enjoy it; watching the sweet, innocent woman he married begin to explore her own sexuality and slowly start to indulge in fantasies she'd never admitted to anyone else just does it for him.

Lee's not a stranger to toys in the bedroom but nothing makes him hard like the memory of the first evening he came home from work to his wife, a couple of days after he'd got you a cute little princess plug.

He's usually greeted with a brief kiss when he comes in the door but that night, you couldn't tear your mouth off his if you tried. He tastes faintly of the toffees he keeps in the car but his mouth is so warm and distinctly his, it's addictive.

"What's gotten into you, sweetie?" You've pressed yourself flush against his body, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him while your fingers hook his belt loops, pulling him closer.

" 'm sorry. I need you." You've been worked up all day, imagining how your husband will touch you when he gets home and now he's here, you don't want to wait. The dinner can burn for all you care.

You notice how warm his hands are as they shift from your waist, reaching down to squeeze your ass and when you whimper against his mouth, it all clicks for him.

"Livin' room, sweetheart." That's exactly where he wants to be right now, instead of cramped in your tiny little hallway and when you don't make a move, he scoops you up and carries you there before sitting down in his armchair.

"Turn around. Bend over." They're clear instructions. Your feet are planted between his as you follow his lead. He pulls the skirt of your dress up and your underwear down your legs.

"God, do y'have any idea how wet you are?" The sparkling end of the plug sits neatly between the cheeks of your ass but it's hard to miss the way your slick arousal seems to almost glisten on your skin in the dim lighting.

Your breath catches in your throat feeling your husband trail his thick fingers from your neglected clit, back to tease your soaked entrance. Your body resists him pressing into you though. Having one hole filled at a time is more than enough for you for now.

"Thought I'd try it this mornin'. Slipped it in before I started the cleaning." You might feel embarrassed at how exposed you are if you weren't so turned on. "Couldn't even think straight by noon."

"Such a good girl for me. Shoulda called, honey. I'd have come straight home" He taps the base of the plug rhythmically and even that's enough to make you squirm. With his other hand, he's palming his own cock through his work trousers but that's not his main focus in that moment.

"Let me take the edge off for you. I'll take real good care of you after dinner, how does that sound?" His fingers circle your clit with the kind of ease that only comes with practice while he taps the base of the plug with the fingers of his other hand. Your body flutters around the metal inside you, offering a pleasant reminder of how full you feel and you're quite sure nothing will compare to the evening you have ahead of you.

#becca's thots #becca writes spice #lee bodecker smut #lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker x reader smut #idk the whole innocent wife who's secretly as filthy as he is suits lee's character so well #I'm so convinced hormonal bc is the root of all evil #there was no good time for me to take a week off it so I've been taking it for like 3 months straight #and now I'm stopping for a week and I just know this is gonna kick my ass #everything I tried to write today was so sad #the dialogue all had a weird gravity that I didn't like #I'm working in my second job all this week though #so I'll get to reschedule my mortgage appointment #I've found an adorable little house that I really love #it's been totally renovated and it has a cute little back garden #I'd get my little vegetable plot 🥺#Belle would still be able to watch the birds out the living room window

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ananxiousgenz · 3 months

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TPP HADESTOWN AU PART 4

ANOTHA ONE. i am so sorry guys, but the muse has possessed me and i literally cannot stop writing. this is no longer a flash fic. i am now a slave to the au. this time will be a direct continuation of part 3 because honestly i wanted to keep writing that but i also just wanted to post it so consider this a kind of part 2 to part 3 if that makes sense

tpp mutuals come get your juice!!! @smidgen-of-hotboy @ceaseless-watchers-special-girl @urjover @one-joe-spoopy @waters-and-the-wilde

when he said his name, juno heard it.

ringing in the background like the hum of a crystal wine glass.

the song.

when peter nureyev said his name, the song echoed with it.

"your name has the same melody," juno breathed, eye wide and searching for some kind of answers on the face of this strange, beautiful man. how could his name have the song of spring laced through it?

nureyev shot him a sideways look and took a sip of his drink. "so. what do you do for a living, lady who's going to marry me?" he questioned, leaning back in his chair and looking juno over with a gaze he could only describe as skeptical.

"oh! well, I work here at the bar with rita. she's over there. but you've met her already so I don't know why I'm introducing her."

rita gave a friendly wave from her perch behind the bar.

"I also, um. I, uh. I sing. sometimes. not all the time. i'm not bad at it. typically when I do sing, someone will give me a couple bucks. it's nice. oh, and uh, I can play guitar too, but I haven't done it in years, and to be honest, I don't really want to-"

nureyev cut juno off, looking away disinterestedly and downing the rest of his drink. "that's nice. so you're like all the other bar workers in existence. that doesn't exactly sound like something I'd want to marry."

suddenly, the butterflies that had been gradually building in juno's stomach began to unexpectedly drop dead.

"heyyyyyyy, that's not very nice, mista nureyev. mista steel isn't like all the otha ladies you eva met! he's a very supa awesome lady who I love workin' with and-oh oh oh! mista steel! you GOTTA tell him about that song you're workin' on! it's so pretty! and important! I'm sure mista nureyev would LOVE to hear about that!" rita cried, bounding off the bar and hustling over to deliver another drink to the table.

"oh, uh, yeah! I'm working on this song to bring spring back again," juno said, feeling mildly embarrassed that rita brought it up with this man who was still basically a total stranger. "it's not done, honestly, it needs a lot of work. but, when i'm finished with it, it will hopefully fix.....everything."

"wait just a moment." nureyev's brow furrowed and juno's stomach twisted at the sight. even when he was skeptical and defensive and bone-tired, he was still so damn attractive. gods, what juno wouldn't give to just kiss him right now- focus, steel, he's trying to talk to you-

"so you say this song will bring spring back again?"

"yup! at least it should."

"that's...." nureyev placed a finger over his lips in thought. "I haven't seen a proper spring in at least a decade, maybe more. the world has been so wrong in recent years... I shudder to think where it would all end up without the return of warmer weather."

"well, that's the idea with the song. I want to fix it. all of it. when the song is done it should put the world back on track. more sunshine, springs, falls, rain and flowers. you know. all the stuff that's just sort of been missing. maybe you could help me out with it!" juno grinned a bit sheepishly.

"and why would I want to help?" his eyes were cold, almost as cold as the biting wind and frost outside, but juno thought he saw the beginning of a thaw at the edges of his facade.

"because, mista nureyev. he's real good at makin' people feel like life is worth livin' again with that music of his. also, he makes the BEST chocolate cake i've eva had! and frannie agrees with me!" rita chimed in, cleaning the bar top as best she could with her short stature.

juno snorted involuntarily, marveling at rita's ability to constantly be focused on food. "it's true, I won a local competition a few years back for that cake."

nureyev's face had half a smile on it now, and the butterflies in juno's stomach turned into a hurricane.

"so you can make people feel alive again? that's quite a gift, juno. but what else can you offer me?"

"huh?"

"say, for example, if we were to get married. who would pay for the wedding rings? times have been hard, and gold is scarce. how would you do it?"

juno thought for a moment. "the rivers. they've got plenty of gold in them, and if my song works, they'll give it all to us for wedding rings."

nureyev's eyes glinted with something juno suspected was either curiosity or suspicion.

"what about a wedding feast? or a bed? good food and better beds are hard to come by these days. what would you do about that, juno?"

"the trees would take care of the wedding feast, and the birds would take care of the bed."

"with your song." nureyev cocked an eyebrow as though it was a question.

"well, yeah, of course."

"you talk a lot about that song. why don't you sing it for me?"

a wave of panic stuttered through juno's mind. "I can't. I told you it's not finished."

"you said you wanted to take me home and marry me, is that true?

a sly smile crossed nureyev's face, and goddammit it only made juno want him even more. "yes," he breathed.

"then sing the song for me, juno."

juno hesitated, then nodded in spite of himself. he shouldn't be doing this, he knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't help it.

he was in love.

and lovers need the spring like a flower needs sunshine. so he'd sing the sunshine back for peter nureyev.

he stepped back, breathed in, and let the notes flow from him like water from a faucet. the song flooded the room, hitting the walls and rushing back to his ears in perfect harmonies, and for a moment, he was back in that wheat field with benten, strumming guitar as he danced like a pheonix rising from the ashes, spinning around and around and around like he was the center of the universe.

and then the song ended. and juno was back in a shitty roadside bar, holding a perfect dahlia in his left hand, with peter nureyev staring at him now, eyes wide and sparkling.

"that's...... you...... how did you do that?" nureyev asked quietly, standing from the table on unsteady legs and taking the dahlia to examine it with shaking hands.

"i didn't do that, the song did," juno muttered as nureyev gently touched the immaculate petals of the dahlia, still damp with dew. rita beamed at juno from the bar and gave an overenthusiastic thumbs-up. juno just rolled his eyes again.

peter nureyev looked at him then, all of the previous frostiness gone from his eyes and something like amazement and love and hope spilling through them.

juno decided that he liked it when he looked like that. it made him feel like he really could fix the whole damn world with that song of his.

nureyev seemed to come to some sort of conclusion and slipped the dahlia into the buttonhole of his traveling coat. "so, what time does your shift end, my dear juno?"

juno thought for a minute. "uhhhh, the bar closes around 10. why?"

his eyes gleamed like a pair of stars as a smile twinkled on his lips. "didn't you say you were going to marry me?"

#THERE WE GO #IT'S DONE #HURRAH #i look forward to seeing all of you screaming at me in the tags #if anyone has any notes for me feel free to drop them in the comments #as always #i love y'all <3 #the penumbra podcast #tpp #hadestown #tpp hadestown au

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thranduilsperkybutt · 5 months

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requirements.txt=unsatisfied

Pic source: 1

Pairings: Johnny Silverhand/V!Reader; Exceedingly minor Goro Takemura/V!Reader alluded to Warnings: Endgame spoilers; Arasaka!ending; I take liberties with the ending (everyone lives AU); yearning; fighting; nsfw banter (no actual explicit behaviors); angst with a happy ending; mentions of canon-typical drug use and violence Word Count: 9,936 words Reader Gender: Female Author: Meg Summary: Johnny always wants a lot of things--- a smoke, a good fuck, for you to turn the radio to 107.3 instead of that new age crap you like. In a perfect world, he'd like to have his own body back, too, but this isn't a perfect world. This is Night City, and he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to forgive you for going and doing this. Turns out that being in love requires being unsatisfied. A/N: Look. I finally finished playing the game as corpo!V and I will not live with these endings, alright? I'm gonna make my own.

“Think they make shitty motels like this just for screw-ups like us?”

You make a point to continue staring at the ceiling of the ‘shitty motel’ room, deep breathing the mildew and age-old cigarettes. He isn’t wrong, but you don’t want to hear it right now. He always has a way with words. Wiping your hands down your face, you do your best to ignore him, but Johnny wasn’t the most dismissible parasite you’ve ever had.

“’Parasite’s’ talkin’ to you, fuck-up,” he flicks his cigarette butt at you in retaliation for the thoughts in your head and it glitches through your thigh with a fuzzy tickle in your neurons. “Do ya’ really think Arasaka is gonna’ just let you waltz away after grabbin’ that stuck-up bitch princess of theirs? You’re fucked.”

“Was fucked before that, Johnny--- royally, if you’ll remember,” you groan, and turn away from him. He appears on the other side of the bed, leaning over it to glare at you. “Got you to show for it, after all.”

“Why are you so chill about this? Takemura fucked you both by deciding to take a life-sized souvenir from your trip to Cherry Town---"

“Cherry Blossom Market---” he barely acknowledges your interruption; you doubt he cares about the situation past hearing himself talk either way.

“--- and you’re just gonna’ do what? Sit here like a ditched date, waitin’ by the phone for that ‘Saka scum to call?”

“Johnny,” you push yourself up into a sitting position, headache threatening a presence at the back of your skull. The edges of his shoulders have that glitchy quality you’ve come to know follows his movements at times when he crosses his arms, but his glare is clear as ever.

“What? Don’t like me callin’ him that?” he rolls his eyes as he certainly feels your annoyance spike, “Jeez, didn’t think you could ride ‘Saka’s dick any harder, but if you literally want to---”

“What crawled up your holographic ass and died tonight?” you bark back, and the glint behind his eyes tells you that this is what he wanted all along. A fight, interaction, anything other than you just melting into the stained mattress of this motel room while the fan drones overhead in excruciating monotony. Johnny’s at his worst when he’s bored or cornered, you’ve found.

“I don’t know, V, maybe the fact that while I’m livin’ in your head, I’ve gotta’ listen to all your disgusting little thoughts about that Grade-A asshole? I’ve never had a dry spell that’d make me wanna’ sleep with a corpo drone, but maybe old habits die hard for you, huh?” You try to ignore his jab at your corporate background, but you know he just can’t help himself, “At this rate, alert a joytoy pronto, because I think I’ll throw up if I gotta’ watch you eyefuck your ronin anym---"

“You’re so fucking annoying sometimes, Johnny, you know that?” you rub your temples, trying to bite back the heat in your cheeks. No telling if it was from embarrassment at his inevitable acknowledgement of your major-league crush on Goro, or an oncoming stroke. At this point you are wishing for the stroke.

“You say that, but you’re not havin’ to watch how pathetic you look waitin’ on Takemura to call. Shit, even that cop you turned down would be better than this guy.”

Rising to your knees, you point a finger directly against his chest, feeling the fuzzy presence of your fried synapses mistaking him for something real at your fingertips, “Know what? Maybe I will fuck Goro the next time I see him, just to screw with you. Maybe I’ll finally get some peace and quiet when you slink back to God-knows-where to hide in my head while I lay back and take it from the big, bad, ‘Saka scum.’”

“You wouldn’t dare,” he growls down at you, the fire in his eyes flickering from your own to your lips and back again. “If you wanted me gone, you’d’ve taken those omega blockers by now.”

“Don’t tempt me. I’d take a half-dose of pseudoendotrizine just so I could kick your ass, if it wouldn’t mean kicking mine, too.”

“Now, there’s a thought,” he reaches out, pushing you back by a phantom grip on your shoulder. Your body flings itself onto the mattress without a thought, “But I don’t need a pill to kick your ass, remember?”

“Asshole,” you grumble defeatedly, but his anger seems to dissipate, if only a little.

“Bitch,” he chuckles, and it’s a short sound of disbelief. “Don’t pout like a damn kid.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re kind of mean, Silverhand?” you look down to where he still stood beside--- no, knelt onto, now--- the bed. His lips are quirked into a slight smile, one brow raised like he doesn’t quite understand just why all your annoyance has seemed to sink away into the dingy carpet and rotting walls of this place. Maybe it’s the exhaustion settling into your bones?

Or perhaps it’s the uneasy feeling in your gut when he looks at you. Despite the mountain of resentment your soul screams that you have every right to have at him for stealing your life away from you with every waking second, you can’t seem to bring yourself to hate him.

He clicks his teeth thoughtfully, dipping his weight onto the knee he has on the bed, but it doesn’t creak under his weight or acknowledge his presence, “It may have come up, once or twice.”

He isn’t really here, the soft static framing his hard edges reminds you.

“Why, then?” Why does he keep falling into the same pattern? Why does he treat you like this? Why does he look at you like that afterwards?

You don’t ask any of those questions, but you don’t have to. He’s in your head, after all--- but you think he’d be able to figure them out even if he didn’t have a front-row seat to your every thought. You still aren’t sure how much of your consciousness he is privy to, but you know it’s enough for him to know more about you than any other person ever has.

At this point, he might know your mind better than you do.

You wish you could read his half as well.

“Maybe I just don’t like watchin’ you run head-first into what’s bound to be another shit-show’s all, choom,” he deflects, but his eyes don’t turn from your gaze. There’s something guarded in them, sure, but they soften all the same.

You sit on his bullshit explanation for a few seconds, tasting the thought on your tongue, “Is that what we are, Johnny? Chooms?” It’s an unsatisfactory descriptor, but you don’t know if there’s a word in the English language that can accurately describe what you are to each other.

“I don’t know, V. Are we?”

Before you can even think of an answer, the sound of your holo ringing breaks through your ears and Goro’s image appears in your optics.

Johnny huffs and just like that, any softness in his gaze disintegrates with a roll of his eyes, “Go on--- know you’re giddy as a schoolgirl to answer that.”

“Fuck you, Johnny,” you grumble, before picking up the line and watching him straighten up off the bed before disappearing from your gaze in a static glitch. “Goro---”

“V, meet me, quickly as you can. I’m sending the coordinates.”

---

Your fingers run over the markings of Johnny’s initials you’d just carved against the metal. It’s jagged, raw, and as good a headstone as he was ever going to get, given you’d probably never find where his body had been truly laid to rest. In a city like Night City, after so many years? He’s lucky enough that Arasaka had dumped his body at all, instead of incinerating it like most folks these days.

“There, how’s that for a marker?”

Johnny leans back from where he’d been moping and gestures to your makeshift headstone, “Say this was my real grave, what would you write? ‘Here lies Johnny Silverhand…’”

The words roll around your head in tandem with the pit of dread in your stomach. It didn’t feel right talking to him like he was dead, even though the rational part of your mind knew it was true. The real Johnny Silverhand died more than fifty years ago, and you were left talking to a ghost--- a copy that seemed close enough to the real deal, but you never would be able to know if he was a good one. More recently, though, he’s started to seem just as real as the ground you walk on and, while you know that’s something to be deeply worried about, you can’t help but have come to enjoy his company.

When he’s not being an asshole, that is.

For better or worse, he was, “The guy who saved my life.” You’d been through so much--- everything--- together. It hadn’t been intentional on his part; he’s only a piece of broken prototype tech going haywire in your head, but it was still true. He’s saved you in more ways than one, lately.

The words sink into him, dragging his shoulders down like the same ache you feel in your soul. His eyes meet yours beneath his sunglasses, holding you in a regret so deep that you think it will swallow you both with the knowledge that he’ll be the death of you.

Johnny reaches up, metal fingertips clicking on his shades in a way that’s so honest in your ears that it’s difficult to remember it’s just another one of your disconnected mind’s lies anymore, “You don’t know how much I want that to be true.” He pulls the barrier from his face to dangle between his knees as his free hand wipes at the perpetual dirt on his skin, “Listen, I realize I’ve fucked up a lot of things. Either let down or used every last person who gave me their trust--- blind, selfish bastard that I was--- but I’ve managed one thing, for now. Not to fuck this up. What we have.”

Johnny’s always wanted a lot of things--- a smoke, a good fuck, for you to turn the radio to 107.3 instead of that new age crap you like. He's rather demanding, day in, day out.

You've been privy to his every request as it flits through your shared head for long enough that he’s come to annoy you nearly as much as he's grown on you. He’s like moss overtaking a stone, so slow that you don’t realize it until he’s covered all of you. He’s changing you into something neither of you can quite recognize anymore, and as the days pass, you worry you’ll never be able to wash him away and return to the person you were before him.

Worse, you don’t know if you will want to.

“What do we have, Johnny?” you sigh, looking up at the light-polluted sky. You weren’t far enough out of town to see stars, just the dim void and flickering city lights reflected on the clouds above. Maybe if you were at camp with the Aldecados, you’d spot a star among the dusky sky. Maybe life would seem simpler, easier, “I don’t know what you want from me.” All you know for sure is that you were growing so tired of the fight. There’s this hurt in your chest; you can’t tell if it’s yours or his. Maybe it’s something you share. Maybe this is what he means.

Or something close to it, “Most of who I thought were my friends, well, it turns out they couldn’t hardly stand to be in the same room with me. But you?” You hear him pause, but you don’t dare to look at him. There’s a stammer in your chest, and you’re terrified at what it means, “You’re forced to be right fuckin’ here, twenty-four-seven, and you don’t seem to hate my living guts.”

This silence is something you can only achieve on the outskirts of the city, but you know it would be worse if you were further away. It’s almost excruciating, being alone with your thoughts--- being alone with his.

“There a point in there?” your heart aches for him, and you know he can feel it. It’s more than pity, more than friendship, but you try your hardest not to think of what it could possibly mean--- let alone, say it.

He knows, though. Of course he does. He has to.

“Just that… I think you’re my first real choom, even though you’re a real bitch sometimes.”

Your head lulls forward, and it takes all your strength to muster a glare at the pained smile dancing at his lips. There’s more to it than that, you both know it, but you’re grateful that he’s feeling somewhat merciful tonight--- it was something you didn’t know he had in him.

Maybe it’s only something he has in him when it comes to you.

“Chooms, huh?” tilting your head, you pretend to mull it over like it’s a proposition of eddies from a fixer. Playing it off with a shrug, you concede, “I could get used to being Johnny Silverhand’s choom, I guess, even though he was a total dick at first.”

“As if you didn’t deserve it,” Johnny smirks.

“Uh, remind me again, who’s been whining about missing his smokes since day one?” it’s a half-hearted blow, and his widening grin shows it. “Better yet, beggin’ me to get my rocks off?”

“My own personal hell is being stuck inside a non-smoker, and it doesn’t help that you’re practically a nun,” you toss a rock at him for that, and it goes straight through his chest like he isn’t even there. He isn’t, but he grins at you anyways, “Still… who’d’ve thought we’d make it this far?”

You sit there for a beat, feeling your own smile turn at your lips, before sighing, “You know, if you really want a marker, we could get you one at the columbarium.”

“For what, an empty box?” shaking his head, he puts his shades back on to perch atop his nose.

“Please, I have more of your stuff than even your most devoted fanboys. I don’t need it all. We could, I don’t know, ‘retire’ something of yours there. You know, as a symbol,” his gaze weighs heavy on you, and you can’t for the life of you understand what’s going through his mind. It frustrates you nearly as much as his stare seems to, and you shift your gaze back to the sky in your attempt to escape his holographic scrutiny.

“Let me guess, you’ll bring me flowers every day?” it surprises you that his tone isn’t mocking, but rather curious. “Would you visit his grave?” he seems to ask.

Trying to lighten the mood, you tease, “You know me, too busy trying not to die for all that.” You look back to him with a wink, “Plus, preem flowers are expensive these days, choom. ‘Fraid you’ll have to settle for the synth ones. Besides, you seem like a cheap date to me.”

“Bitch.”

“Just say, ‘Thank you.’”

It’s as close as either of you will come to what you really want to say.

---

From the roof of Misty’s building, it’s almost as if the troubles of the city no longer exist. You think you understand why Jackie found his choice up here. It seems as good a place as any to choose between life and death.

You would have to come to yours, too, soon. Maybe you already have, and you just don’t want to admit it.

The thought dwells in your head, and it feels like the only choice that makes sense.

“You’re not considering that. Please, tell me you’re not seriously considering going to those bastards again for help,” Johnny’s voice tears you from your dreadful stare over the neon Night City advertisements staring back at you. Promising everything from NiCola to the market version of the prototype Relic crammed in your head. “You’re trying to make sense of something that makes zero damn sense!”

You think he might wind up hating you forever, for this.

“Takemura said---” you begin, but he cuts you off as he stands from his spot on the ledge overlooking the city and takes up pacing.

“Fuck that guy!” Johnny rounds on you, fiery as ever--- but there’s something more terrible in his eyes; a grief that only comes from knowing he won’t be able to change your mind. “You’re just takin’ the easy way out! Those ‘Saka bastards won’t stay true to their word, you know. All they do is lie, and they’ll keep lying to you so long as it gets them what they want from you. You can’t really believe they’ll help you or me!”

The truth is, you’re too tired and you don’t know what’s worse: the taste of blood on your tongue, or the look of disappointment in his eyes.

You should be at least used to the blood by now.

“I’m dying, Johnny. Hanako is the only person who can maybe help us. Name someone else. Anyone! They made this tech---”

“They’re only gonna’ hurt you. We can do this a different way,” he stops pacing to stand so close that you can swear his boots touch yours. It’s as if you could feel the heat radiating off him, but that may just be the fever settling deathly into your skin, “Hell, give me the keys and I’ll get us to Mikoshi. I’ll burn this whole fuckin’ city to the ground to get you there and I’ll throw the pieces of you back together myself! I’ll gladly die trying---”

“But I don’t want you to die, either,” you fight back the tears at the thought of it, and he huffs down at you in utter exasperation, “can’t you get that?”

“Think they’ll do any better by me at Arasaka?” his chuckle is humorless, coming strained from the back of his throat. “You don’t believe that.”

“I can cut us a deal…” you look down, away from him, blinking out beyond where he stands towards the city lights. You don’t want to fight with him right now. You don’t think you can.

“With what leverage? Deals are only good so long as you have the upper hand, V,” he kneels into your eyeline, reaching out to grasp your chin in two silver fingers and turning you to face him fully. It’s gotten to the point that his hands on your skin feel akin to something real, dulled synapses firing with every spark of his hands on your skin. It’s how you know you’re close to the end. “Who is gonna’ be in your corner after they get everything they want?”

“Goro’s a man of his word.”

“You’re so fuckin’ naïve. Just as dumb as you were when you took that bullet to the brain from Dex, and I had to save your ass then, too,” Johnny growls your name like he hates you for it, but who knew how much you would come to welcome the end? Because when he frustratedly drags you forward by a harsh grip at the back of your head to eclipse his lips over yours, you can feel it. Him. In the burnt neurons of your addled mind, he is there against you--- kissing you with death on the edges of his lips, in all the heavy grief and anger that your choice has brought forth in him. It’s a terrible knowledge that pours from you into him of how much you’ve come to love him, and how desperately you know he’ll hate you for this, because maybe he’s right; maybe you really are naïve for wanting to believe in some way out of this.

He gasps against your lips like it wrecks him to the core; voice hoarse with the emotion as he curses, “Damn, you’re one stubborn bitch.”

“Inherited only your best traits, Johnny,” it’s just as dry on your tongue, and you lift your hand that has been clutching the omega blockers to your lips. You want to say it--- tell him in words how much you care for him. Instead, you murmur against his lips, “Please, don’t be mad,” and swallow the pills.

“I got a feeling you’re gonna’ regret this, choom, and I won’t be there to help you,” he leans away, and you feel the drugs start to kick in when his voice becomes more distant. “Don’t do this. Miracles like the one you’re hopin’ for don’t happen for screw-ups like us, you know.”

“Trust me.”

“I wish I didn’t trust you at all,” he sounds just as tired as you do when he says your name one last time before you blink and he’s gone. The bitter aftertaste of the pills tastes like betrayal on your tongue, and you already know Johnny will haunt you for the rest of your days.

You’re quickly reminded of why you’ve always hated taking the omega blockers.

It takes everything you have left not to sob at the feeling, like you’ve lost a limb--- gone numb and tingling painfully with the ghost of where he was. It’s as if everything is muted, including the deepest parts of yourself. You’re in a bad way, and you know you don’t have much longer now.

So, you find yourself committing to the desperate choice you’ve made, but you don’t call Hanako.

Instead, you call the only corpo you trust besides yourself, and hope it isn’t stupid to do so.

Takemura.

---

He is dressed in all white when he comes to find you at Misty’s Esoterica, looking like a harbinger of death in every sense of the word, “You… look like shit.”

“Don’t look half bad yourself, Goro,” you chuckle, but it turns into a wracking cough that leaves you with a more urgent taste of blood at your lips.

“Are you in any shape to negotiate?” he wonders, but it’s not threatening--- more of a genuine concern displayed with the arch of his brow. Johnny may disagree with you, but you still dare to think him a good man.

“Not in much shape to do anything, anymore, but I know exactly what I’m useful for. My eddies are on Hanako knowing this, too,” you lean on the arm he offers when you stumble on your way to the car. “After all, she sent you. Smart woman.”

“I would have come even had she not,” Goro confesses, pausing with his metal-laced fingertips on the back door. When you shoot him a questioning look, he offers you only a simple, “We have done much work to not see this through to the end, yes?”

“Who’d’ve thought we’d make it this far?”

Goro nods in agreement, before you’re sliding into the car behind Anders Hellman and hoping the Swede knows half of what he thinks he does about your condition, “Agreed.”

---

There’s something to be said for dying. It’s not always as bad as people make it out to be.

Some people would consider you dead. You always find yourself wondering what Johnny would think, these days.

You absentmindedly turn the Rubik’s cube in your hand with no real aim at solving it, letting your mind drift in the overly sterile room Arasaka’s finest clinicians have sequestered you to.

“Barbaric,” Goro called it once, but that didn’t stop them from putting you right back here again. The news plays softly on the screen you’ve been allowed to have after they determined it wouldn’t exacerbate your oversensitivity, but not even the privilege of phoning what few friends you have left can eat away at the boredom that’s settled into your bones in this space station. What was there to say, anyway?

Hi, it’s your favorite lab rat again! How’s it going in the real world? I’m going insane up here!

You can’t help but dwell on the thought that maybe Johnny was right about it all. Maybe it isn’t worth living if life is going to be like this.

Arasaka made no guarantees past what you had signed for on the dotted line the day Hanako had again sent Goro solely to break the news that your body was dying even after Johnny’s Relic had been extracted from your mind. It would seem the soft spot you’d held for Goro was well known by the Arasaka heiress. The woman is nothing if not strategic.

Hell, you’d gotten yourself a worse deal that day than you’d gotten for Johnny at the start of this. After all, you’d had nothing left to bargain with by then.

You were technically a construct, now. A lab experiment dreamed up by Arasaka’s best bioengineers and a team of physicians lead by Anders Hellman. Your current body was a multi-billion eurodollar joint Arasaka-Biotechnica venture that had only been put at the top of Hanako’s list when implanting her father’s construct into Yorinobu had gone awry. You’re convinced she would have been content to let you rot on a biochip in Mikoshi for the rest of your existence otherwise. After all, your contract never said when they had to provide you with a body, only that they were obligated to when the technology existed to allow it.

Turns out, rewriting someone else’s psyche does more damage to the physical body than anyone in Arasaka thought it would. You don’t know why it was such a surprise to them all when Yorinobu’s body couldn’t handle it, considering what it did to you. Maybe they just didn’t care, with how desperate they’d been to get any semblance of leadership back.

All you know is that Johnny Silverhand probably rolled over laughing in his grave, wherever it is, when Saburo Arasaka died a second, painful death.

They were using you as a top-secret prototype for Saburo 2.0, as you’ve come to call what will inevitably be the body they attempt to stick him in next. Sure, Arasaka as a company is facing charges in the New United States on Yorinobu’s death--- something about human testing that everyone knows will never stick--- but that will be swept under the rug much like any bad press Arasaka has gotten over this past year, with either cash or bullets dispensed.

“Shit,” you curse as you grow frustrated with the cube, tossing it onto the thin hospital mattress they kept on your bed. Rubbing your eyes as you try to refocus, it still feels strange to not feel the metal embedded in your skin. Worse still, you had to get used to what a fully ‘ganic body felt like again.

“You even human anymore, with all that chrome?” you can almost hear Johnny’s words to you when you got a new set of mantis blades from Vik’s clinic right before heading out for the oncoming fight at Clouds with the Tiger Claws. It was so long ago, now, but it doesn’t feel like it. That’s what Mikoshi does to a person, you figure. It’s hard to fully comprehend that so much time has passed.

Sometimes, you think you do hear him in more than just a memory. Like he’s still there, in your head. The doctors say it will pass with time, but they’ve been wrong before. Safe to say, Johnny literally changed your brain chemistry.

At least some part of you hopes they’re wrong, because you don’t know how you’ll make it in this world without him if Arasaka doesn’t stay true to their word.

It’s like you’ve lost a part of yourself, and you regret it more every day that you’re forced to live in this white box of a test tube that they’ve put you in. You should have died with him at Mikoshi. Gone out in a fiery blaze of glory and torn it all down with you, if only it would’ve made you feel a little better right before the end.

His last words to you had been as you went under the knife, right before they carefully excised him from your brain like a tumor.

“If this plan doesn’t work, Johnny--- If you wind up being right about Arasaka---” you had called to him through the code, as it weaved and curled around his form. It created and destroyed him all at the same time, but Johnny’s frown was still clear as day to you.

“I’m right about Arasaka,” he sounded nearly as exhausted as you had been on that roof the last time you’d talked. Defeated was something you’d never expected to see on him, “See? You haven’t changed at all. Still think you can outsmart the whole world, when you’re really just out of your depth.”

You didn’t want to think of this as a betrayal, but that’s what it was starting to feel like as you marinate in his sadness, “Look… I just want us to part as friends, for now. Just in case I don’t get to see you again after this, I wanted to tell you goodbye as proper friends.”

“Not sure that’s possible, anymore,” cut you to your core.

You wanted to reach for him, through the flickering code, but you didn’t dare. Heartbreak tastes a lot like blood on your tongue, even here.

“That’s what we are, aren’t we?”

“I don’t know, V. I just… don’t know.”

It was all you could remember of the interaction, though you’re certain there had to be more than that. Sometimes, when you dream instead of sleep, bits and pieces of it come back to you. That’s what you think it is, at least.

It’s far too real to be any normal nightmare.

It sounded too familiar when he said things like, “I just wish you’d stayed loyal to yourself,” or, “Those ‘Saka docs are cutting out a piece of us. Something we’ll never get back. It’ll leave a hole,” in those horrible dreams where memory emerges from the subconscious.

Perhaps this is just what you deserve. Your penance. The price you’ve got to pay for your choices, and the deal you made with the devil.

After all, nothing in Night City is ever free.

Multiple lifetimes of suffering, of being forced to go on without him? It’s almost poetic, in a Shakespearean tragedy sort of way. If this body fails, Arasaka will just test your construct in a new one until they get it right.

You’re company property and the Biotechnica cloning program is only in its infancy. Anders Hellman had told you as much himself when you’d asked.

“You’re one of the first successful cases, so far,” was, specifically, what he’d told you. It wasn’t much; Arasaka clearly wanted you in the dark.

You’d already proved too much trouble when left to your own devices, historically.

Have they brought you back before? How many bodies did you live and die in before this one? They could’ve wiped your memory of it, or maybe cut your engram into a million different pieces until something fit. You would never know the truth of what’s been done to you, most likely.

The door to your room slides open with a whirring noise, breaking you from your thoughts when the same scientist who you’ve come to understand is one of your daily handlers walks in, “It’s time for your daily tests.”

You try to not let the sarcasm drip from your tongue, but you’ve been failing at a lot of things these days.

“Always a pleasure to see you, too, Suki.”

You are dead, and this is just purgatory.

---

They eventually shipped you back to earth, “in accordance with the great progress you’ve displayed over these past few months,” as Anders had told it.

Earth was exhausting. Even though the Arasaka lab they had put you in had all the comforts of home, save for the overly-clinical aesthetics, it still took weeks for your body to become accustomed to its own weight. It was only then that you realized the space station’s simulated gravity was slightly less than that on earth, to allow for less pressure on your new joints and bones as your mind settled in. It’s perhaps why you had been able to relearn walking in the first place, because on earth you were much clumsier than you remember ever having been before.

There were bruises on your legs from the amount of times you’d tripped down or stumbled into something. You’re surprised they hadn’t yet put you in a padded room, but you must’ve been making progress, because eventually they sent a familiar face to see you again.

“おはようございます,” without translators installed into your body’s cyberware, the words that fall from Goro’s lips as he offers a slight bow take a moment for you to mentally decipher.

You don’t rightly care, because you’ve not seen a familiar face other than Anders since waking up in this body. Let alone, anything close to a friend.

He stiffens and freezes when you step forward to drag him into your arms, holding him in a tight embrace that almost has you melting against him with how much of a relief it felt to feel another person. It’s too forward, and you’d never have done it under normal circumstances---

But you’re so relieved to see him.

“You have no idea how good it is to see you,” you murmur as you release him, catching the slight tinge of a flush at his cheeks. He straightens his shirt, donned in black from head to toe. His hair isn’t pulled back, for once; it’s a little longer than when you had seen him last, “You look great, Goro.”

He seems to relax slightly at the familiar words, as if he hadn’t been quite sure what to expect of you at first. You watch as he takes you in, optics dilating as his settings switch with the distance you put between you again. It makes you slightly self-conscious under his scrutiny.

You know you look different. Sure, the core basics of yourself are the same, but you’re slimmer than you were before in this cloned body. Your cyberware is gone, as are the scars from a lifetime of mercenary work. Any tattoos you had were no longer etched into your skin, including Johnny’s. Then, there’s that new Arasaka logo brandished behind your ear that matched his own. The only good thing about your new appearance was that your hair had finally grown long enough to cover the logo when you left it down.

“You look like shit,” he cracks a smile after a second, “but it is good to see you, too.”

“What are you doing here?” you wonder as he walks further into your designated quarters, hands clasped behind his back, “Don’t tell me you get to tell a girl she’s dying twice.” He observes the room not unlike he did when he’d visited you on the space station, though seems less displeased with your living situation this time.

He doesn’t say, “barbaric,” at least.

It’s your words that earn his chastising side-eye, this time, “You should not joke. I do not want to do that again.”

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense,” the prodding does nothing to urge an explanation from him as he moves towards the desk on the other side of the room. The metal on his fingertips glints with sunlight as he moves the papers lying there--- some of the most recent status reports you’ve been given on your performance in Arasaka’s testing. A lot of it was redacted, but you were given just enough to know you weren’t dying currently.

That, they seemed to be taking as a win.

“How are you feeling?” he asks as his optics dart back and forth on the papers, reading them quickly. Surely, he’s had a briefing before he’d been sent to see you. Maybe he just doesn’t trust it was a full picture, or he wants to know what parts of it you know.

Settling into the couch, you reach for the tin of mints you’ve been hoarding recently. Popping one into your mouth, you turn it around as the fresh flavor bursts through your skin, scent sparking in your nostrils.

“Playing doctor now, Goro?” that gets him to look up from the papers to shoot you an unamused look that said just answer the question. You sigh, nail tapping the tin as you take a moment to get his answer, “Well, I’m tired and sore all the time from the physical therapy, and hypersensitive to almost fuck all. Oh, and they still won’t let me get any chrome installed--- even the minor stuff like optics.” You sigh, and the minty feeling tingles on your tongue, “Do you know how much deliberating it took for the white-coats to finally decide I was ready for an operating system update?”

“And the nightmares?” Goro turns away from the desk to instead lean on it, crossing his arms as he looks towards you. So, he had a more thorough briefing on your status than you expected.

You avert your eyes. It was bad enough having to talk to the mandated shrink about them. You really didn’t want to get into what plagued your mind with Goro.

“They’re nothing. It’s the physical symptoms that Arasaka cares about. That’s what’ll get Saburo a new body or not, right?”

He doesn’t let you off the hook that easily, “Arasaka has underestimated the impact of the mind on the body once already, at great cost. I do not think your mental state is considered ‘minor’ to your doctors and scientists, V.” After a moment’s pause, he confirms what you are thinking, “It is not considered something to be ignored by Arasaka’s board, either.”

“Is that what you’re here for?” you can’t help the irritation that seeps into your tone, “To give a first-hand report back to Hanako Arasaka and the board on my progress? Came to see the test subject for yourself instead of just reading the memo?”

“V…” his brow furrows, frown settling onto his lips as you turn your body away from him on the couch.

“Well, you’ve seen me! I trust you’ve gotten all the spicy details you need for your report on my mental status.”

“くそ,” he swears under his breath, as if exasperated with your antics. There is a stillness that comes with the silence between you after that, and you don’t dare turn to him. Instead, you focus on the tin in your hands and the mint in your mouth. Anything other than the pit in your stomach at the remembrance of the nightmares that plague you more nights than most.

There’s a shuffling of clothing and the sound of footsteps approaching as Goro comes to stand beside you, “You are… hypersensitive to words as well, it seems. Look at me, V.” You refuse to do it, and he sighs. In your peripheral, you can see him move to sit beside you on the couch, “Hanako-sama does expect me to relay your progress upon my return, but that is not the sole purpose for my visit.”

“Why’re you here, then?” it may be childish to still refuse to look at him, but you can’t bring yourself to. You feel as if nothing will be as it was before--- like even though you’ve fought terribly to return to normal, there would never be a moment when you felt like yourself again.

“You are being released.”

Your head snaps up to look at him when he says that, utter shock undoubtedly on your face. His own expression remains level, rock steady as he always seemed to be. You can see the truth of his words in his eyes; he has no reason to lie to you. You doubt Hanako would put him in a position to knowingly do so anyway.

“Released?” you breathe the word. You can’t quite believe the truth in his eyes.

“Hellman’s team has decided you have progressed as much as can be expected in a clinical setting. They think you are ready to return to a more ‘normal’ routine. I am here to tell Hanako-sama if I believe they are correct, based on what I know of you… who you were, already,” Goro holds up a hand, quelling the excitement he undoubtedly sees blossoming in your eyes. “This does not mean a return to what your routine was before. You cannot return to mercenary work.”

“So… I’m to live as a civilian, then?” you shift your whole body to face him, legs folded beneath you.

“In a sense… you will still be under Arasaka’s supervision, expected to meet every scheduled appointment and test. If you miss even one, you will be collected and returned here. There are other requirements, but I will leave those to be explained by your care team,” Goro watches as the news sinks in. He looks away, admitting, “I am maybe not the best to answer any questions you have about this.”

“Will I be staying in Tokyo?” is all you can think to ask, mind racing at the prospect of even a little freedom from this quarantine.

“At first, but I believe the goal is to reintroduce you to Night City should you continue to progress---” his words are choked off when you quickly grasp hold of his shoulders, pulling him into another hug. Just like before, he freezes, though this time he recovers enough to loosely hug you back.

“Thank you, Goro, for everything.”

---

The Corpo Plaza apartment didn’t feel like home, but it was closest to Arasaka tower and the Biotechnica building--- both of which you have to visit frequently. Well, at least it was less frequently than when you’d first been sent back to Night City, but it still wasn’t worth the constant drive from a different district.

Your fingers trace along the metal outlining your face as you glance at yourself in the mirror, having just finished a shower. The cyberware embedded in your cheeks is similar to what you had originally, though slightly different. You like it all the same, even if it had to be approved by Arasaka first. Every day you felt more like yourself, but you doubt you’ll ever be 100% you again. Too much has changed for this sense of newness to ever leave.

Even when you had reconnected with Victor, he looked at you like something uncanny. A dead woman walking. Misty could barely manage to look at you at all. Panam and the Aldecaldos had migrated; you were still waiting for her to return your call to figure out what they were up to these days. Judy was long gone, but getting out of Night City was maybe the best thing she could’ve done after everything.

Only Johnny’s old contacts seemed to remind you of who you were, and perhaps that’s because they’d never truly gotten to know you too well. Then, there was the feeling of loss that still gripped your soul. The ghost of Johnny Silverhand haunting your every thought and plaguing your dreams at night. You doubt you’ll ever be free of him. You hope he never fully fades from your psyche.

As much as it hurts, you still love him.

In hindsight, that’s probably the real reason why it would never work out between you and Goro. You’re still holding a torch for a dead man, and you’ll never be truly satisfied with anyone else.

In the end, Johnny has truly ruined you. Maybe it’s his last laugh: your complete inability to move on.

Your deal with Arasaka at the beginning had been for them to save him. To put him away into Mikoshi for the rainy day that the technology existed for a body suited for him to be a reality. The contract required them to release him into Night City after he had been deemed healthy, but you knew as well as anyone that contracts like these had loopholes even with the best lawyers pouring over them. Arasaka could truly do whatever they wanted with him once he was out of your head, other than destroying his engram.

When you had asked them the status on them holding up that end of your bargain, you had been met with cryptic answers. Hanako refused to meet with you, and you were in no shape without your combat cyberware to hunt her down yourself.

You’re terrified, honestly, at the idea of never seeing him again, nearly as much as you fear facing him.

Sighing, you step away from the mirror to move towards your bedroom while you towel-dry your hair as best you can. Tomorrow you were to report to Arasaka for your end-of-the-year testing and physical. Hellman would probably personally chastise you for the pizza you’ve ordered tonight. It was far from the approved meal plan, but it wasn’t as easy to find food that fit the diet and still tasted good outside of Japan. Finally, you understood Takemura’s issue with Night City’s synthfood.

Still, if one slice of pizza was going to kill you, you figure it’s a good enough way to go. Anything beats being an Arasaka pencil-pusher for the rest of your days.

“Night City Legend, Felled by PieZ,” the headlines would read, and it wouldn’t even mention the billions you’d cost Arasaka if you died.

Water drips down your jaw and you wipe it away with the towel before tossing it into the hamper. Scooping up an oversized sweatshirt that screamed support for the debut album of SAMURAI, it soaks up the few water droplets you’ve missed when drying and effectively covers the dog tags against your chest. Looking down at the hamper, you wish that Arasaka would sign off on you having a pet finally. Nibbles was doing fine at Victor’s, but you missed that furless cat.

The sound of your holo ringing is accompanied by Goro’s face flashing in your caller ID, and you pick up after a few moments, “Yo?”

“こんばんは,” Goro appears with his hair pulled up into a bun, and you could’ve been fooled that it was the old days if not for the few extra gray hairs he seemed to have now. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

“What? You worried I’ll disappoint?” you roll your eyes at his pointed look. “You know I’m doing great now, practically would be back to my old self if they’d ever let me get my combat cyberwear.”

“And you know that Arasaka has invested too much in you for you to involve yourself in a Night City street fight. Do not think they will approve all your requests tomorrow, V, regardless of your progress,” he speaks reasonably, and maybe that’s what grinds your gears the most. You know good and well that Arasaka has everything riding on you. If you successfully keep from pushing daisies they’ll move forward with Saburo’s resurrection. Hell, maybe they already were. For their one and only living test subject, you’ve been doing relatively well, if not a little hypersensitive at times still.

“Not every fight in Night City is one you pick. What if I need to defend myself, huh?”

“Do you feel in danger? Has something happened?” Goro’s voice has an edge to it, concern, and you shake your head.

“I’m just making a point. Most folks who die in this city are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. My combat chrome would give me an edge again. Call it an investment in keeping me alive,” you snort, and Goro’s lips quirk upwards at your dry humor.

“You can plead that to the panel tomorrow after you pass all their tests. I think you should… what is the phrase? Not get your hopes up?”

“Did you call me just to bum me out, Goro?” you sigh, moving through your kitchen to rummage through your fridge and find a NiCola.

“Only to discuss reality.”

“I think you’re just scared I’ll kick your ass with all my chrome one of these days for how sassy you are,” the sarcasm drips from your tongue, and this time Takemura does sound thoroughly amused.

“I would like to watch your attempt at that, but I think you will need to remove the pizza from your diet first, V,” then, he hangs up. Never one for drawn-out goodbyes. You think you prefer it that way.

“I could’ve kicked your ass while on an only-pizza diet, once,” you grumble to the apartment around you, taking a swig of the NiCola. The ring of the doorbell breaks you from the thoughts of just how you can get back at Goro for that comment, “Speaking of pizza…”

Barefoot, you stroll towards the door, hoping the delivery guy followed your instructions to leave your food at the door. You don’t want to deal with awkward small talk with another human right now. Not bothering to check the cams to see if your instructions have been followed, you let the door slide open with a swipe of your hand against the key screen.

The door is barely halfway open when a hand catches your throat and forces you back into the apartment, a body forcing you up against the entryway wall as you choke out a startled noise under a firm grip. Terror claws at your skin as you grab at the arm attached to the hand before you manage to get a good look at him when he stills against you, breathing hard. It takes a moment for wide eyes to take in enough of his features to recognize the dark eyes staring back at you.

“J---”

“You couldn’t help yourself from being corpo scum again, could you? Selfish, that’s what this whole thing was--- what you are,” his voice--- oh, fuck, his voice, it rings in your ears in a way it never has before. Deep, familiar, and real. Strained with anger and choked with a breathless fury, but something else breaks against the fire swirling in his eyes--- some relief that settles nearly as devastatingly in your bones as his skin lays heavy and warm against yours.

You can’t believe it. You must be hallucinating. You’ve finally cracked and lost it. Something was malfunctioning in your head, certainly, because there’s no way he’s here.

Your fingertips shake as they reach out, away from the firm grip he still has on your throat, to ghost against the slope of his jaw. The scruff of a beard still remained there, but was shorter than how he had lived in your head. The scars on his face were gone, along with the tattoos on what skin of his you can see beneath the leather jacket he wears. His left hand was at your throat, and it was made of flesh and bone, not metal.

He swats at your hand when you finally touch him, a hurt in his voice that was so real that you couldn’t trick yourself into believing he was just a hallucination, “Did you ever think about what I wanted, huh, when you chose this?”

But you still can’t get past the sight of him, finally managing, “Is… it really you?”

“Fuck yes, it’s me. What’s wrong with you?”

“Johnny,” you gasp his name, nails digging into his pristine forearm, tears nearly blinding you as they well in your eyes at the overwhelming emotion that surges from your chest. You can’t hold it together, trembling against him, and only then does his grip soften at your throat.

His voice sounds devastatingly mournful as he growls in the quiet of your apartment, “You sold us both to fuckin’ Arasaka, V. Look what they did to you. You’re their property. Doesn’t it make you sick? Some things are worse than death, and I doubt ‘Saka will ever leave us to it, now.”

You hear what he’s saying. It sounds just like him, and your heart breaks at the sound. At the warmth of him, and the way his dark hair ghosts around his cheeks slightly shorter than you remember it being before. He’s really here, and he hates you.

His voice cracks, “Why are you crying?”

“I-I missed you,” you confess between the sobs, trying to swallow up the emotion. Damning yourself for not holding it together better than this at the sight of him, but it was such a shock, and only one thing could run through your mind as dreadful regret sank into your soul, “a-and now you’re going to hate me forever.”

He looks at you like he’s stunned by the words coming from your mouth, or maybe he’s shocked it’s all you’re capable of saying when you’ve betrayed him as thoroughly as he perceives.

“Shit, V,” he murmurs, reaching up to drag his thumb against your cheek and wiping away the messy tears that trailed there. He looks down at you like he’s almost annoyed at you for crying, but there’s a strange look in his eyes that you can’t fully place. “I wish it was something as easy as hating you, but I just can’t seem to catch a fuckin’ break.”

The confusion at his words nearly stuns your tears into small hiccups as you breathe, “What?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to hate you,” it sounds like dread on his tongue, like fear and grief for the situation you’ve both found yourselves in. It sounds like a confession, from his lips, “I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive you for what you’ve done to me, either. I haven’t felt right without you since I woke up in this damn useless body. Feels like I should still be in yours.”

A breathless huff escapes you, almost akin to a laugh, as you realize what he’s trying to say, “You missed me, too, huh, rockerboy?”

“You’re the only thing about this damned city I missed,” he crowds you in, pressing you fully into the wall with his own body. “Not drugs, not alcohol, not music--- I came back here for you. Bein’ clean and having to put up with those ‘Saka corpo-drones has been the worst time of my life, by the way, but I did it because they said you were alive.” He looks at you, a hint of incredulousness in his eye, when he asks, “What the hell kind of a deal did you make with them?”

You’re terrified to tell him, but you can’t lie to him. Not after everything.

“I’m the reason Saburo Arasaka will live.”

Johnny curses, fury twisting his face, but the defeat is worse, “I should hate you. Fuck, why can’t I hate you?”

“I’m sorry---”

“Don’t lie to me,” he cuts you off, biting, “you’re not sorry. You don’t care if Saburo Arasaka lives or dies so long as we get to live.”

“Fine, you’re right,” anger flares in your own gut, exhausted annoyance lacing your tone, “but is that such a crime? I want to be okay again, Johnny! I want you to be okay, too!”

“And you’ll sell our souls for it?!”

“God, you’re such a dramatic asshole!” you nearly scream, slamming your eyes shut in your distress, “Go ahead and blame me for falling in love with a dead man, too, then! I should’ve known it would kill us both, but I couldn’t stop myself from loving you, Johnny! I wouldn’t have been able to go on knowing I’d left you to die, okay? That’s why I did this! Call me a selfish bitch if you want to; maybe you’re right---”

“Yeah? Well, I guess maybe I’m to blame for falling in love with a selfish bitch,” he growls, so close that his nose touches yours, and your eyes snap open just as he leans in to crash his lips against yours. It’s not wholly unlike the last kiss you shared with him, when he was just sparks on your neurons, and yet it’s entirely different.

There’s a taste to him now, but it’s not the cigarettes you had expected, but more akin to nicotine gum. Has he stopped smoking? He smells like leather and some sort of amber-scented cologne that has you weak in the knees.

But the way he kisses you is what nearly scrambles all coherent thought. He’s so warm and firm against you, the reality of his touch, tongue, and lips against yours desecrates the memory of the slight stimulation your neurons had simulated when he’d been in your head. Johnny seems to be in no better a state at the feeling of you against him, gasping into your mouth when your hands find his hair to drag him closer, and all the while all you can think is how happy you are that he is alive here and now.

It barely feels like it should be real.

He parts from you, catching his breath and staring at you with a look that sends heat rippling down your spine, flushing your skin in its wake.

You blink at him, head lulled back, and whisper through the feeling of having him back, like some piece of your soul coming home, “Fuck, I missed you, Johnny, so much.”

“You’re probably the only one, choom.”

“That’s not true. There’s Rogue, and Kerry---”

“They got their closure when I was hitchhiking in your skull. How can I just waltz back into their lives now?”

You tilt your head at him, “It can’t be that the Johnny Silverhand who was never afraid to die, is actually scared to live?”

He scoffs, leaning away from you with a roll of his eyes, “Is that the kinda’ psychobabble your ‘Saka shrink has been feeding you?”

“Could be,” you shrug, and a glint of the light at the metal around your neck catches his eye, “don’t mean it isn’t true.”

“What’s this?” he invades your space again, dragging a fingertip to loop at the chain at your neck, leading beneath your sweatshirt, and tugging it until the necklace drags into view. Dogtags clink in his hand and his eyes snap back up to yours in shock, “These--- you still have ‘em?”

Your cheeks heat with the find, and you don’t know why it’s so embarrassing even after you’ve told him that you’re in love with him. Of course you would’ve kept his dog tags. It only makes sense, but you want to defend it. The words crawl up your throat, and it takes all you have to swallow them down.

Instead, you reach up to begin to remove them, “You should probably have them back, now.”

Johnny’s hand catches yours, stilling it, “I… don’t know if I’m ready to step back into ‘em right now. ‘Sides, maybe I like the look of ‘em on you.”

You search his gaze, but he seems sure enough about the decision, “Alright. I’ll keep them, for now.”

“Good… It suits you,” a ring of the apartment door breaks you from whatever scrutiny weighed heavy in Johnny’s eyes. “The fuck is that?”

“My pizza this time, I hope,” you huff, pushing him back just enough to escape from between him and the wall. “I don’t know if I can take two of you showing up at my door tonight.”

Johnny trails after you, watching you open the door and pluck the pizza box from the ground where the delivery guy had left it as instructed, “Good news, there’s only one Johnny Silverhand.”

Turning towards him, you smirk, “Luckily.”

“Screw you.”

“You wish.”

#johnny silverhand fanfic #cyberpunk 2077 fanfic #robert john linder fanfic #cyberpunk 2077 female reader insert #female reader insert #newstuff female reader insert #author meg #fanfiction #fanfic by me #nsft #trigger warning #trigger: drugs

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 1 year

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Ruggie, Rook: How Tongues Twist

I was late for Vil’s birthday but on time for Ruggie’s ✨ By chance, the third chapter of the Episode of Savanaclaw manga dropped (in Japanese) today. It’s like the TWST fans also got a birthday present!

It sure must suck for Ruggie to be stuck with Rook as an interviewer 😂 (At least his bouquet isn't all yellow like the weirdness of Trey's/Sebek’s all green bouquets-) Ruggie’s Groovy though 🤡 You see where his feet are???? How the pitch of the heel is riding on the broom handle… Dude’s livin’ life on the edge there, I worry he’ll topple off!!

***Note: I use the Japanese term "madol" for TWST's currency; it is the same as "thaumark" (EN). I also use "Magical Shift"; it is the same as "Spelldrive" (EN).***

A Boy in Bloom, and his Flowering Future.

"How do you spend your spare time, Monsieur Dent-de-Lion?"

Ruggie stiffened, his eyes narrowing with suspicion. "... This isn't some kinda trick question, is it? Knowing the weird stuff you do for fun, you already know the answer."

In spite of the pointed accusation, Rook's grin persisted. "Non! All that I am aware of is your enduring loyalty to Leona-kun. I've witnessed you many a time headed to the cafeteria or to the Mystery Shop to fetch his desired goods.

"Why, just yesterday, you obtained a deluxe menchi-katsu sandwich at 12:43 pm, only to spend 2 minutes and 31 seconds picking out the lettuce shreddings from it--on account of Roi du Leon's aversion to vegetables. On the way to deliver the meal, you happened upon a 1000 madol bill and so giddily swept it up, humming a merry tune on the rest of the walk."

"Dude, talk about a crazy amount of unnecessary detail!!"

"Fufu. I can see that you like to keep yourself busy. There doesn't appear to be much spare time to speak of in your daily life."

Ruggie sighed, but he didn't press the matter further. Protesting never did him any good with the huntsman. "I guess you could say that. Between my part-time gigs and Magical Shift practice, that doesn't leave me a lot of wiggle room for myself. I do manage to squeeze some in though, 'specially if there's free stuff involved. Gotta take what I can get, nishishishishi!"

"Oh la la~ What dedication to your work. Your tenacity is truly something to behold. It's as though you were a single red rose blooming in a barren desert in defiance of Mother Nature's harshness."

The birthday boy shot Rook a confused stink eye.

"Anyway," Ruggie continued, "I have to beef up my resume if I wanna land a good job after graduation. Extracurriculars and work experience will definitely help with that."

Rook gave a brief laugh. "No doubt that your linguistic abilities will also be a great boon to you. You already possess proficiency in a number of animal languages, as well as knowledge of common phrases in some human tongues from the jobs you've taken up at resorts and hotels over school breaks."

Ruggie's eyes bulged. "... And how exactly do you know that?"

The huntsman's lids lowered, his irises concealed half-moons. His smile, too, turned just as mysterious, even if his tone was still bright as day.

"Call it a lucky guess!"

"There's nothing 'lucky' about that!" Ruggie cried out in exasperation. Sheesh, this guy's nothin' to sneeze at.

He took a breath, settling his frazzled fur and wrangling his nerves. Calm collected, Ruggie threw an impish response at his interviewer.

"You're not too shabby with animal languages yourself. Not surprising, seein' as you spend so much time around animals. You know the language of the City of Flowers too--I heard it when you were talkin' to some of the street vendors on our outing." He brought a curled hand to his mouth. "So you have a connection to that part of Pyroxene or what? Go on, I'm all ears."

Again, Rook gave a laugh. This time, it was accompanied by the slight furrowing of his brows.

"Oh, it's just something I picked up," he said dismissively, then pivoted. "Language can open up new avenues of exploration and communication. In learning such skills, you're thinking of the future, not solely your immediate needs."

"Obviously. Cuz if I get a fish, then I'll eat for a day--but if I learn how to fish, then I'll never go hungry." A corner of Ruggie's mouth went crooked. "Back home, we had to get by day-by-day, but here at Night Raven College, I've got the chance to prove my mettle and make something of myself. If I work hard, then Granny and the neighborhood kids can..."

He didn't finish the statement, but his face shone like a star, as bright as the yellow of dandelion petals.

"Ah, Monsieur Dent-de-Lion!!" Rook gushed, clasping his hands together. "Your heart is as big as your appetite!!"

"Hah?! N-No way, lay off with that!!" Ruggie frantically waved his broom at him, as if sweeping the suggestion under a rug. "The financial security's just nice! I don't wanna worry about where my next meal comes from ever again!!"

"Fufufu, d'accord. I hope that you are able to recognize that dream of yours, remembering your roots and all."

Ruggie rested the handle of his broom on his shoulders. He leaned into Rook, cocking a brow, teeth bared in challenge.

“I got this in the bag.”

Rook's eyes glittered with wonder. "Come then! Show me the unconventional flying technique you've gleaned from your hometown. I wish to engrave your skyward visage into my mind!!"

“Do you really have to make everything sound so dramatic? No matter how many languages I learn to speak, I dunno if I’ll ever fully understand you.”

There was a soft chuckle. “Perhaps that is next on your list of languages to acquire!”

“Not from you for sure though.”

Ruggie shrugged and dropped his broom. It landed with a clatter on the stone staircase, red and purple and yellow petals flittering into the air.

He grinded his heels on the handle, determination welling in his chest. Ruggie gave Rook a look full of cheek.

“Whatever! If it’s a show you want, it’s a show you’ll get. Check this out… a new move I’ve been workin’ on!!”

The birthday boy threw his arms out to his left and to his right. On cue, his broom ascended in a sea of warm, golden sparks.

Rook’s hair flew in his face from the kickback of the takeoff. Clutching onto his feathered hat, he raced after Ruggue. Bewildered, bewitched.

Joyful howling filled the huntsman’s ears. Ruggie teetered only slightly on his ride, arms still splayed wide as he expertly balanced atop of it.

Colorful petals rained down on him like pieces of confetti. Fur and fabric swaying in the wind, Ruggie was like a dandelion seed, the fluff of it dancing in the breeze.

Living life, loving it, and wondering where the wind might carry him.

A hyena surfing throughly the sky, spotlighted and celebrated by sunshine—imagine that, Rook mused.

His tongue, tied at the very sight of it.

#twisted wonderland #twst #Rook Hunt #Ruggie Bucchi #twst imagines #twst scenarios #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #spoilers #Ruggie birthday takeover #something no one asked for #disney twisted wonderland #Rook voice: rats are difficult to communicate with!#Michard Mouse in the mirror: um. hello????????

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just-ornstein · 2 months

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🦋URL SONG TAG🦋

Got tagged by @f1shart ! Thank you, and sorry it took a while to get to this lmao! Imma do both my URLs...

L - Livin' on the Edge • Aerosmith

I - I Come With Knives • IAMX

S - Silver Lining • Hurts

S - Slipping • Dr. Horrible

P - Paranoid Android • Radiohead

E - Extreme Ways • Moby

E - Exogenesis Symphony • Muse

D - Dangerous Game • Jekyll & Hyde

J - Juliet's Dream • Abel Korzeniowski | Romeo & Juliet

U - Undertale Yellow • Undertale Yellow

S - Sundial • Lemon Demon

T - The Dark Side [Alternate Reality Version] • Muse

O - Ordinary World • Duran Duran

R - Remedy • Undertale Yellow

N - November Rain • Guns N' Roses

S - Smalltown Boy • Bronski Beat

T - The Spirit of the West • Roy Edwin Williams

E - Ejale • The Sims 2

I - Insomnia • IAMX

N - November • Max Richter

I'm tagging:

@kamiiri @huecycles @scrawnytreedemon @thesimquarter @thesims2comics @eilyca @creamecream @sprout-tower @devilrose

#lizzy speaks #tagged #tags

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celestie0 · 2 months

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Hi Ellie!😊 I was wondering if kickoff!Gojo has a routine? Like rituals he usually does every day and little interesting facts about him.

And I also wanted to say that I started writing a fanfic about GojoxReader, about history. But now I hope I don't get bored and abandon the fanfic. 🤣

Bye~

hiii my dear!! ouuu yes strangely enough i feel like he...doesn't really have many routines?? LMFAO like he's more type b personality than type a, i picture him to be a hella procrastinator so every day he's just chillin until like last minute he crams for exams in like three days or something, and then once finals are over he's just. chillin again LOL like i think he's just naturally smart so he doesn't have to have a study routine or anything like that. he probs enjoys not having each day be like the one before yknow livin life on the edge. BUT he has hella discipline when it comes to soccer fs he doesn't take anything soccer related lightly

similarly when it comes to morning routines, day time routines, before bed routines, i don't think he has many of those either since i'd picture he's got a really unpredictable schedule? like w practices n frat events etc, sometimes he's getting like two hours of sleep n other days he's like...sleeping in until noon or something haha. i picture he falls asleep pretty fast n tries to get some shuteye wherever he can n suffices on mini 15 min naps throughout the day. but yeah anyways i don't think he has like a oh im up at 6am everyday n go to bed at 10pm everynight sort of thing

in ch7, there was a scene where suguru was like "ohh never skip the pre game ritual man" or something like that when gojo said he was going to skip his run. yea i would say the only ritual he does without fail before every game is go for a run!!! i think it helps him clear his head and he likes the runner's high lol. he's also giving me wellness podcast dude vibes i feel like he does wimhoff breathing or meditation or some shit like that before games HAHAH

OMG sorry this is so long i'm in like a weirdly imaginative state rn plus im on pc n i always type a lot when im on my pc haha. but thanks sm for the question <33 this was fun to think about

aaa im so happy to hear you started to write your story!! if you ever decide to post it i'd love to read it :) and yess lol it's such a struggle to not abandon fics hahah

#kickoff #asks #rideofthevalkyriess #[queued ask]

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pancake-breakfast · 9 months

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This is it, everyone. The last volume. The final week. The end of an era.

I'm not ready.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 14, Chapters 1-3 below.

Chapter 14 Covers

Mind Games, huh? I think Nightow is playing his own mind games with the readers with this bright-and-cheerful fully-blond Vash image here.

Oh, he just HAD to sneak a tiny Wolfwood into the joke cover. Rude.

The back cover is Vash doing his whole love and peace thing. But will this manga end with love and peace? Guess we'll be finding out real soon, huh?

Haahhaha, Chibi Legato looks terrified he's going to fall. It's cute.

GET THAT FEATHER, KURONEKO-SAMA! GET IT!!!

These titles are all so dramatic.

Chapter 1: When Rivalry Comes To An End

CW: Body horror

Gotta get that full ensemble shot in here before the end. I particularly appreciate that the way he drew Livio suggests Razlo is there, too. Though I'll note even here we're not allowed to see Wolfwood's full face.

"I've been livin' by my gun longer than you've been alive!" Hahahahahaha, that's what YOU think.

LOL, Vash's whole reaction to this is gold. He's so casual, and then he realizes the sheer level of discordance with his looks versus his age when people think he's human, panics, and rapidly changes the subject.

I feel like it's unfair to call this a rivalry. The whole of the rivalry is located in Legato's head.

Ugh, them fighting with all the debris falling around them. It's crazy. I wonder if we'll get to see this animated in Stampede.

Vash isn't gonna have any energy or power left for Knives at this rate.

Look at him. He looks so happy.

Yeah, Legato's right. This seems like a severe lack of foresight on Vash's part. Legato was literally giving him trouble back at the beginning of all this before Legato gave him the activated box.

*sigh* Vash is really into burning this Last Run juice here, isn't he. Idiot.

Dude, Legato, now you're polar opposites? I thought you just decided you and Vash were kinnies in the last volume.

I have no idea what's going on here. Legato is screaming. I got that much. I think maybe he destroyed Vash's prosthetic arm?

Awww, is that Little Elendira? What, did Knives just find a bunch of bitter, bitter children and decide to raise them to be bitter, bitter adults??

If Vash pulls the trigger, he simultaneously loses and wins. But... I know how this fight ends.

Heh. And here Vash is, still refusing.

Legato, honey, baby, my boy. Don't. It's ok if you don't get shot. It really really is.

Welp, that's grotesque and terrifying.

Godsdammit, I know how this is gonna play out, but part of me really, REALLY hoped I just heard wrong. It wouldn't be the first time. But the pieces are all in place now, and set up in the right positions, so....

Legato, you asshole. How dare you reduce Livio to only having worth as a tool! I mean, I get it. It's how Legato sees himself, and thus it's how he defines things, but it still stings.

And suddenly Vash is faced with a trolley problem he's not sure he can avoid or solve by other means.

WhAT is THIS??!!!?!?! Sudden Wolfwood?!

Chapter 2: Overkill

Oh, this isn't even Livio here. It's Raz. Not that the result wouldn't be the same.

Did... Vash shoot?

Yeah.... Yeah, he did. I like how Nightow doesn't focus on the violence of it, but instead on the grief of it. Just the simplicity of Vash's knee hitting the ground in defeat, and the place where Legato should be standing or kneeling or whatever in front of him is empty, instead replaced by just his feet and the edge of his cloak.

Just the way he couldn't let humans die because Rem gave her life to protect them, Vash can't let Livio die when Wolfwood gave his life to save him. He's still mourning that he had to make this choice. He still hates this situation. It's not a deed done with a clear conscious. It's just the path he can live with better.

Aww, Livio's trying to get Vash out of there. He knows Vash is in a bad place. I honestly think he could figure that out even if Vash's hair hadn't gone so dark.

Meanwhile, all Vash can think of is Wolfwood.

Meanwhile, it looks like Knives has gone to space to meet his new friends up close and personal.

Either whatever he's paying attention to is REALLY important or he's just lying a trap for them. Maybe both?

Well, if the Earth Fleet can't stop itself, then I guess Knives will have to stop them.

Heh, Milly having to call Meryl by her actual name to get her attention.

They've found Vash! And Livio!

Oooh, Meryl just took one look at this situation and already knows how bad it is before Livio starts explaining.

This panel is... I dunno. This panel is feels.

Is Vash having a bit of a breakdown? What's he gonna shoot at??

Bless Meryl. She's doing so much for him right now. She's probably been thinking about this sort of thing since they parted ways before. She's ready now, and she's going to do her best. Just because it's a non-combat maneuver doesn't mean it's not important.

Six ships all aimed at each other with Knives in the middle, going for a smoosh move? Welp, this is bad.

Wait, are they talking to the Plants Knives has absorbed?? Silly me, I thought they were just gonna chat with the bulbed ones.

Chapter 3: Side By Side

What in the zombie wasteland even are these first few pages??

Knives looks very unconcerned by his supposed impending smooshing.

Are these flashes to just after the Great Fall, maybe?

Gods, these random dramatic floating feathers are so late '90's/early 2000's. All you kidses don't even know. Personally, I blame CLAMP.

OH THEY ARE CRYSTALLINE FEATHERS??!! WANT.

Hahahaha, this kid got biffed on the head by one. Also, there sure are a lot of them. Is this the Plants bleeding themselves off of Knives, maybe?

Oh, the Plants are making the people resonate with each other the way the Plants resonate with each other. That's... a thing.

Ah, yeah, these are definitely flashbacks. The town is growing up around the Plant.

Oh, NOW Knives decides to pay attention to his whole body going all vibratey.

"We need the support of more people." This reminds me of Horton Hears a Who. Like, they just need more individuals making noise and then the Plants will hear them.

Yeah.... Really, it doesn't even take 100 years for abuse to leave a very nasty mark that might be impossible to reach past.

"Be on the lookout for any retaliation." Knives looks VERY ready to retaliate.

This Plant just wanted to help, but everything kept dissolving into violence....

...but there were good people, too. People who wanted to help and to learn and to teach others and to give thanks.

Hahahahaha, this is the "more people." They're the people in the past. This feels soooo much like Vash remembering the people of July and thinking that, regardless of what else they were or could have been, there were so many he knew that were just... kind.

Dude, this guy here just telling Knives off. Not sure if he's got balls of steel or if he's just ignorant or if he's just dealt with enough renegade Independents to call them as he sees 'em.