#i'd prefer the latter tbh
Text
goldenpunk doodle page i did a while ago when i was sad
#my art#before ppl start arguing abt their age they're both confirmed to be teenagers pls leave me alone#pav isnt 13 hobie isnt 20 pLEASE#they're both 15-17 i'd think#and people that age hobie up tend to do it to be super weird so#his age is 100% up to interpretation and if the choices are#either 1. age him up to oversexualize him or 2. ship him with ppl that are hinted to be around his age anyway#i'd prefer the latter tbh#spiderverse#spiderverse fanart#goldenpunk#this isn't even that inherently romantic#pls be nice <3#across the spiderverse#atsv#atsv fanart#across the spiderverse fanart#spiderman#hobie brown#pavitr prabhakar#goldenpunk fanart#hobie brown fanart#pavitr prabhakar fanart
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
swore i heard you whisper that you preferred us like that
joel miller x f!reader / 5,8k words
summary: you ask joel –the quiet, distant joel– to teach you how to ride a horse. they say the eyes are the window to the soul, and it must be true, because when he really sees you, it´s like he finally understands what you feel for him.
warnings: smut 18+ let’s pretend joel never left jackson, porn with plot, no use of y/n, age gap (reader is in her late 20s, joel is 56), grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering, masturbation, pet names, unprotected p in v (don't try this at home ok), dirty talk, soft!dom joel (sort of???), a bit of angst/feelings, joel gets all babygirl around reader, ellie appears for like a minute, mediocre attempt at recreating joel's southern accent (sorry in advance)
a/n: hello??? well this is my first fic ever so bear with me, i'm still new to all this. also english isn't my first language so i'm afraid there may be mistakes (mostly when it comes to collocations bc i hate them and they confuse me), buuuut i'm learning obviously and if you find anything that should be corrected PLEASE TELL ME thank you :) i'd appreciate if you told whether you liked this story (idk what to call it tbh) but if you don't it's more than fine! anyways thank you so much for reading if you come across this fic, i hope you like it! i've spent a week writing it bc finals season is killing me <///3
here's my masterlist in case you want to read my other works :)
"Oh, my drunken southern star / How you tried to hide in darkness / Slipped from orbit / Now you’re dangerously close / Come out, come out from all your hiding out / We’ll dig in our heels, salute the battlefields / Where our broken hearts were born."
What is it that he has?
You used to ask yourself that question every night as you went to bed. On some occasions, you couldn't manage to come up with an exact answer. There were too many reasons that disclosed why a man like him lingered on your mind, even in those moments that were supposed to be for you and only you. Sleeping more than three hours a day was definitely something you needed tremendously, but still, the not-so-rational voice inside your head kept on bringing his name up without fail, disturbing your rest.
Joel Miller. Was it possible to feel like this? Like you knew somebody without having exchanged more than five words with them? Sure, there wasn't a single person in Jackson who wasn't aware of his existence. From whispered rumors in the streets to stories that intended to give his reserved personality an explanation, Joel became a real talking-point among those in the commune. Years ago, when the world was still just a floating ball in space, he would’ve frightened you, being the kind of person your parents used to warn you about as you started to grow older.
He walked a certain way, as if he were holding the suffering of many lives in his hands. Always on guard, prepared to fight those who defied him. Hidden knives in his pockets, a gun between his fingers, the trigger too tempting to be pulled at any time given. His hair was a mixture of brown and gray, and you swore that the latter was only becoming more prominent as days went by.
Suddenly, your pillow felt too uncomfortable, your hands fisting the fabric of your t-shirt while you kicked the blanket resting on top of your bare feet. A sigh escaped your lips, the taste of something you couldn't even distinguish on your tongue, your unsteady breath being the only sound to be heard in that noiseless night.
You were having a hard time figuring out how you felt about Joel (if there was anything to feel in the first place, since he barely remembered your face and there you were, fantasizing about him instead of sleeping.) Maybe you liked how he presented himself, how bossy and persistent he looked the times you caught him patrolling around the zone. Or perhaps it was his character what charmed you in the first place, and the fact that, deep down, a different side from him remained completely unseen.
He was handsome, too. Tall, broad shoulders, aquiline nose. His arms looked majestic in every single piece of clothing he wore, his tanned skin shiny enough to reflect the very same sun. And his legs… you were sure they were muscular like the rest of his body, because of all the physical effort he did. You had heard that he worked as a contractor before the pandemic, which made a lot of sense. Once or twice you had paid attention to his hands and–
Then, a familiar feeling sinked in. Warm began spreading through your belly, your thighs involuntary clenching together. “Fuck,” you muttered in a low tone, keeping your hands glued to your sides. Another motive not to think about Joel: he made you feel… things. Certain things that you hadn't felt for anyone in a very long time. You preferred to think that it was probably due to the fact that you were touch-starved, and not because you found yourself deeply attracted to him. Never had you ever been a sexually active person, so why now? Why did the mere image of Joel in your mind turn you on?
He’s strong. I’m alone. I feel the need to find someone who’s willing to protect me. That’s it. No other reason.
Your internal monologue was lacking in arguments, but it was definitely something you could work with. As if on cue, you found it hard to keep your eyes open, your limbs not feeling as if they were yours anymore. Next thing you knew, you were asleep.
That night, you dreamt with Joel.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
In a small cabin, you taught children how to paint and draw. Maria believed it to be helpful for their psychological development or something like that, and you had agreed to do it. A good way to spend your free time– that’s what it was. Plus, you liked children; some would even choose to include you in their drawings, and that small gesture just warmed your heart.
There, you met Ellie, a teenager whose basic vocabulary consisted mostly of profanities.
And boy, you loved Ellie.
It was hard not to, actually. She was like a breath of fresh air, with her jokes and instant charm. You two became attached in a short time, and she reminded you of a younger version of you, just a lot braver. Although in this world it brought her benefits, you sometimes wished she wouldn’t have gone through all that shit. Those eyes, which squinted as she laughed if you tickled her sides, were the cemetery of many buried memories. You wondered how she managed to put a smile on her face despite her past and the horrible things she had seen, hoping it was genuine and not a mask.
“Look!” her voice brought you back to reality. Blinking in her direction, you realized the amount of paint you had dropped onto the floor, a red stain already forming on the carpet. “Are you okay? You seem off.”
“I’m fine! Just a bit sleepy today, that's all,” you got closer to where she was lying down, her fingers moving the brush you had gifted her in different directions. Squatting a bit, you placed a strand of hair that didn’t make it into her ponytail behind her ear. “So, what are you painting?”
She smiled warmly, and her teeth catched her lower lip momentarily. “It’s not finished, okay? Don’t freak out. I know you’re a perfectionist.”
“I’m not…” you tried to explain yourself, but ended up choosing to be defeated. “Maybe you’re right. Anyway, may I see it?”
The canvas was in your hands a few moments later. Ellie spoke beside you, her words mixing together in a sign of embarrassment. “It’s for Joel. Figured I could do something nice for him, you know? I don’t– I think I need to start over. His eyes look kind of strange, don’t they? They’re so close he looks like a cyclops.”
“Don’t say that, kiddo. This is… it’s beautiful,” your index finger traced the lines framing his jaw, the shades of his skin perfectly achieved. You held the painting even tighter, afraid of breaking it for a second. He wasn’t frowning like he normally did; Ellie had painted him smiling, and the crinkles by his eyes matched his age. Surely you must have spent more time than necessary staring at it, ‘cause then Ellie continued talking.
“Well, you know what they say: The student has become the teacher.”
You handed the canvas to her, a smirk taking place on your face. “Yeah, I guess I’ll stop teaching you if that’s the case.”
An hour or so later, someone knocked on the door. As both of your hands were occupied (a more formal way to say that they were dirty with paint), you screamed “Come in!”, and Ellie covered her painting with an old, muddy curtain you used to clean the tables in which the children worked. You were about to ask her why she had reacted in that way, until you turned around and saw him.
Joel was there, as every other Wednesday. In your cabin, standing right in front of you. And you didn’t even look presentable. His hair looked messy, a couple of locks stuck to his forehead with sweat. “Hi,” he said shortly, meeting your gaze and attempting to shake your hand, but you avoided contact.
Showing him your hands, you held your palms in the air as an indication of the still fresh paint on your skin. “Sorry. If I were to accept the gesture, I’d leave you a stain.”
He retrieved a bit, adjusting his glove. “It’s okay. Safety first.”
That was supposed to be a joke, you noticed tardily. The silence in the room persisted until Ellie appeared from behind your back, already putting her coat on.
“You were supposed to pick me up in half an hour, asshole.”
His mouth snapped shut for an instant. “I missed you too. How was the class?”
Ellie lifted her shoulder in a half shrug, looking in your direction and proceeding to jerk her thumb toward Joel. She didn’t want him to see the painting. “Fine as usual.”
“Can I see what you’re–”
“No fucking way!” she accentuated the word fucking, drawing him closer to the door.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not done.”
“But–”
“No more questions, Joel. Let’s go! Say bye!” Ellie handled him like a baby, which made you giggle.
Though you saw Joel raising his eyebrows, so you stopped laughing.
Soon, they left and the cabin returned to its familiar quietness. A sigh erupted from your chest, and you allowed yourself to fall on top of a chair.
At least you could say you had actually talked to Joel for once.
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
It didn’t surprise you that you wanted to see him again.
Not in the “you-turn-me-on” way, but in the “you-seem-interesting-and-i-need-to-find-out-why” one.
He had something. Something so magnetic and indecipherable that kept pulling you towards him. Something that made you look for his presence in every crew, and not sensing what it was only made your wishes to dissect him grow bigger. There was a tiny probability that he was an idiot with a pretty face. Who knew? You definitely didn’t, and that needed to change. You deserved to know if pining over that man was worth it or not.
That chain of thoughts led you to look for him the next day, almost trembling with eagerness as you asked him the most stupid and unexpected question you could have imagined.
“Would you teach me how to ride a horse?”
He looked at you as if you were out of your mind, opening his mouth a few times and then closing it before he actually replied to you. “You’re tellin' me you don’t know how to ride a horse?”
“Tried it a few times, but failed and now I really want to learn to do it properly,” you swore his eyes were trying to decipher if you were saying the truth or not. “Ellie told me that you could probably make some time to teach me?”
“So Ellie's in charge of my schedule, I suppose?” you froze on the spot, and he must have noticed it because then his expression dulled. “Sorry, sweetheart. It was a joke. I've been told I'm not the best humorist.”
Sweetheart. You could’ve died a happy girl.
“Look, why don’t we meet up tomorrow after lunch? I'm sure it won’t take us much time. Not a difficult task, y’know?” he stroked his beard, apparently thinking you understood what he was talking about.
“Sure. Thank you, Joel. My name’s–“
He didn’t let you finish. “I do know your name,” and before leaving, he repeated: “I’ll be here tomorrow. You know where to find me.”
To say that you slept without interruptions that night was an understatement. Each hour seemed to become longer the more you glimpsed your watch. Your heart drummed inside your chest violently, and you feared that someone else would be able to hear it if they got close enough to you.
After having lunch in the same spot as every other mundane day, your legs took you to the stable. You took a shaky breath, expecting him to appear out of thin air, but fifteen minutes went by, and there was still no sign of Joel. Pressing your forehead against the wooden door, you wrapped your arms around yourself. “What was I even thinking?”
“Hey.”
You looked to your side and– there he was, already getting inside the stable and inviting you to follow him. Joel petted one of the horses, clicking his tongue. His fingers caressed the animal’s back, and when he shot a glance at you, he didn’t ignore your disturbed expression.
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of horses.”
“I’m not afraid of them,” you laughed awkwardly, eyeing the horse, which stared at you with those big and strange eyes. You raised your hand to mimic Joel, but that just made the animal move further away from you. “I guess it’s mutual. We don’t like each other.”
Joel smirked, guiding you outside. “It’s a damn horse. I don’t think you can tell whether he likes you or not. You gotta change that attitude of yours,” he murmured as he got on top of the horse, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Treat him well and he’ll be nice.”
At first, Joel taught you the basics: how to position yourself for balance, get your legs in the right position, hold the reins properly. A little bit of help coming from him was needed for you to mount the horse. He got down on one knee, patting it as if it were a mounting block. “Come on. Step on it.”
No need to ask me twice, you thought as you did what you were told, and once you were grabbing on those reins for dear life, you observed him with curious eyes. “Now what?”
“Now…” he pressed his hand into one of the horse’s sides, and afterwards, the horse began to fucking trot and you cried out, a high-pitched shriek slipping from your mouth. Joel laughed maliciously, almost hypnotized by the scene. “Now is when you learn how to ride a horse!”
“This isn't funny!” you screamed, the horse still very much entertained with the way you were jerking on top of him. “Stop!”
You couldn't believe how he kept… cracking up. Joel touched his stomach, shaking with laughter. “You’re a natural, can’t you see it? I’m havin' the time of my life here.”
“What I can see is that you’re an idiot! Cut the cackle and help me!”
But he didn’t move a single muscle. Instead, he remained still, that smug look never abandoning his features.
The bastard. “You’re gonna make me beg? In this situation?”
Crossing his arms while teasingly grinning at you, he added: “Wouldn’t hurt to try.”
“Joel Miller, will you help me? Pretty please?” your hair was getting in the way, and you could taste it as you insisted. “Is that enough for you?”
It was, actually. He helped you get down from the horse, his thick fingers digging into the mushy skin of your waist. It shouldn’t have felt that good, but it did. You were supposed to be angry at him for setting you up and still, by touching you for a microsecond, he had transformed you into something malleable.
Sadly, that feeling didn’t last much longer. “Didn’t know you were a man of manners. Should’ve told me beforehand.”
“Didn't know you could scream like that. I hope you didn’t freak anyone out.”
The two of you continued to practice until nightfall. A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man. Everytime you tried to quit, he stopped you, making it impossible for you to rest. You stared at him, rubbing the back of your sore neck with a grimace. “I’m tired. Can we go back?”
“One more time.”
“Joel–”
“Trot a couple of meters just one more time, and that’s it for today. Can you do that for me?”
You tried not to pay too much attention to his choice of words, although it was basically non-viable. He looked sinful, and you longed to shut him up with a bruising kiss. Again, a hopeless option. Your hands itched to touch him, to feel his stubble, rough and coarse under your thumbs. How could you stay focused when the man you had been daydreaming with for the last couple of months was bossing you around?
Despite your inability to clear your head of any of those thoughts, you managed to accomplish what he had asked you to do. “Well done,” he offered you his hand to dismount the horse and you accepted it, sighing as you stretched out your arms. “We should take him back to the stable,” Joel suggested, giving you the impression of being pleased as you told him you were coming with him.
Inside the stable, he relocated the horse into one of the many stalls. Unbelievably, the place didn’t smell like absolute shit, which was what you were expecting from a barn. “Thank you for the lesson,” you told Joel once he was done with the horse.
“Anytime,” he scratched his jaw, the dim light making his dark eyes look, if possible, even darker. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”
“No. You were right,” your heart thrummed with every word that he blurted. His presence was addictive. You were never the one to have any bad habits, but deep down, you recognized that he easily could develop one. “I thought you were less talkative.”
“So did I,” for an instant, he pressed his lips together, forming a tight line, as if he had said something he shouldn’t have in the first place. “I think I didn’t ask you this before: but why now? I mean, why did you wait so much time to learn how to ride a horse? Everyone in Jackson seems to know how.”
You cleared your throat, his piercing eyes peering at your movements. “I guess I thought it wasn't necessary back then, before all this. It's one of those things that you don't even consider until it becomes inevitable. I used to believe I had a lot of time left when I was younger,” you had never talked about this with anyone else. There was something so intimate about this conversation, how Joel stood seemingly tongue-tied in front of you, as if he were taking notes of what you were confessing to him. “I remember being a kid and not wanting to use my toys sometimes because I kept waiting for the right moment. But then…”
“You realize there’s no such thing as the right moment,” he finished the sentence for you, and you bowed your head. “Life can end at any moment, especially in a world like ours. That’s why you always gotta do what you wish to. We never know what’ll happen tomorrow.”
“Live for today, hope for tomorrow? That’s your creed?” you tried to mock him, the tension in the stable far from evident, but he didn’t move.
“It’s the way I try to live my own life. I don’t like being left with the desire to do somethin’ I could’ve done earlier. Too old for that.”
Maybe you were gradually losing it. Perhaps just a little. It couldn’t be a coincidence, right? Had he noticed how you acted around him? Were you that obvious?
“So, you would advise me to just…”
“Do whatever you feel right, sweetheart.”
That raspy sweetheart made you give in.
His eyes. His penetrating, gleaming eyes scrutinized your face at the same time you closed the distance between your bodies. From there, you were able to see every freckle, every small detail that you hadn’t previously acknowledged. He parted his lips, as if to speak, but no words other than your name came out. One of your hands made its way up to his cheek, cupping it, feeling the warmth his skin radiated. His head immediately leaned into your touch, like a moth into a flame.
You kissed him, unable to keep waiting. It took him what felt like ages to kiss you back, his fingers tangling in your hair. He absorbed your whimpers, pressing your back against the nearest wall. Maddening– it was the perfect word to describe how being kissed by Joel felt like. When you thought he was going to draw away from you, he just held you tighter until your lungs implored for some air. Your knees had never felt this weak, and you found yourself grabbing onto his shoulders, already feeling the places where his stubble had left its trace in flames.
“Joel…” you mumbled against his lips, detaching your mouth from his. Your erratic breaths seemed to sync together like a melody, and you tugged at the collar of his jacket.
He knew, could see it on your features. “Wanna go to yours?”
Joel took you home. The moment you set foot in the cabin, he closed the door behind him, his hand lingering on the handle as he contemplated you from a distance. You took your coat off first, starting to unzip your pants. There was silence long enough to hear crickets in, the moon up in the sky being the only bystander of your meeting. His eyes roamed the newly exposed skin of your legs and you observed him gulp.
“Did something happen?” you asked him, a flush crepting up your face. Taking a step forward, one of his hands came to rest on top of yours.
“No, it’s just that– Are you sure you want this?”
Crinkling your nose, you uttered: “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I’m just too old for you,” he warned you, running a knuckle down your cheek. “You should be with guys your age, y’know? Not with an old man like me.”
“I want you,” reassuring him, you got rid of your t-shirt, and the fact he was still dressed up from neck to toes lit some kind of fire inside you. His calloused fingers fiddled with the strap of your bra until it slipped off your shoulder. “This is what I want. Please, Joel.”
It turned out that Joel Miller certainly was a man of manners.
You couldn't help but moan as he grabbed you by the waist, dragging you to the couch by the window and straddling his lap, his hard-on finding its place beneath you, pulsing and in need of more. His tongue brushed yours ever so often, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his teeth latched onto the skin of your throat. Joel groaned, the sound, low and primal, having its desired effect on you, your hips involuntarily grinding against his in a delicious but tormenting rhythm that already had you on the verge of tears.
“Joel, please,” you managed to plead, not knowing precisely what you were asking for. His hands cupped your ass, imprinting his fingerprints on the soft flesh, forcing your hips to go harder and harder. The harsh fabric of his pants was definitely going to leave a mark on your cheeks, and thinking that helped you realize that you were the only one –almost– naked. You reached for the buttons of his denim shirt, your lips hovering over his. “Take your clothes off?”
He did the rest himself, throwing his jacket to the floor. When he got to his jeans, he cocked his head. “Why don’t we move this to the bedroom, if you’re so goddamn needy?” The few guys you had been with had never been very talkative during sex; there was even this one specific boy who had asked you to not make a sound while he fucked you.
But Joel wasn’t like them. It was just starting and you had already realized that he had a dirty mouth, an expectant look on his face every time he waited for your reaction to his words. “Now you’re quiet, huh? Thought you wanted me to fuck you, darlin',” one of his fingers pressed down on your clit, stimulating it through your underwear. He sighed, stopping his movements and pressing the damp pad of it against your lower lip, urging you to taste yourself. “You’re wet, baby. So fuckin’ wet. Have you been like this all day? Bet you would’ve let me take you right there in the forest.”
“Oh my God,” you whined next to his ear, your whole body trembling with desire. “Take me to bed,” you begged him, and next thing you knew, he was grabbing you as if you weighed nothing and heading towards your room.
Not knowing how, you kept your hands to yourself until he placed you on top of the bed. Joel shoved his jeans down and you didn’t think twice– you stroked his length, the fabric of his boxers only making the slow drag of your hand more satisfying. His long fingers circled your throat, and you moaned as you kept eliciting exquisite noises from him. “Let me take care of you,” his dilated pupils carved holes in your being, his grip doing nothing to cease the ache between your legs. “Please, baby. I need to make you feel good. Been thinkin’ about this for so long.”
“What?” you slowed down your pace, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “You wanted me?”
“Why do you think I began to pick Ellie up from your classes, huh? Because I’m a good, generous man?” Joel parted your knees, getting closer to where you required him the most. “I’m sorry to ruin this, but I’m far from good. Just wanted to see you and your pretty face. Didn’t know if we were on the same page until you came lookin' for me, askin' me to teach you how to ride a damn horse,” you hadn’t noticed your bra was missing till he cupped one of your breasts, flicking your nipple between his fingers. “I’m sure there were many other people you could’ve asked to teach you, but you chose me, didn’t you?”
“Don’t want anybody else,” your lips chased his, a drop of sweat already rolling down your temple. “I didn’t– didn’t know you noticed me.”
“How could I not? If you could only look at yourself like I’m doing right now… You’re a sight, sweetheart, all spread out for me,” removing your panties, he kissed the skin where your inner thighs met, his tongue darting out to draw imaginary figures on your flesh. His mouth was just inches away from your cunt, and you had to tell him.
“Joel?”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ve never– nobody has ever done that for me.”
He seemed to understand what you were referring to. It made you tense a bit, despite the fact that you were completely naked in front of him, basically begging him to tear you apart. Still, the realization that you weren't as expert as him hit you out of nowhere. Yeah, it was all fun and games, kissing and touching probably the hottest man you had seen in your almost three decades of life. But said man was a lot older than you, and he had lived his best years in the real world, not this fucked up version you grew up in. You were sure he had been with many different women, which wasn’t a problem– you two were nothing.
“Nobody has ever tasted ya’? That’s what you’re tryin’ to tell me?” you nodded quickly, shoving a strand of his graying hair back away from his eyes. Joel chuckled languidly, squeezing your hips. “Do you want me to? It’s okay if you don’t. We can try somethin’ else.”
“Please,” you’d have time to embarrass yourself later, thinking about the amount of times you had repeated that word. But certain moments were to be lived only once, and though you hoped it wasn't the case, you had to take the chance. “I want you to.”
Four words. It took Joel four words to disappear between your legs, licking a hot stripe up your folds. You nibbled on your bottom lip, a loud moan filling the void of your dorm. He drew sweet patterns in your cunt, discovering a part of you that no one else ever had, and you couldn’t help but to grind against his face as he dipped the tip of his tongue into your entrance. Breathing wasn’t a necessity anymore. You felt as if all the air in the world was being punched out of your lungs, the knot in your belly growing tighter the more Joel spent his precious time keeping you entertained.
At some point, he focused his attention on your clit, circling it over and over again, making you shudder. Suddenly, the pad of his middle finger tested the waters, and he slowly slid it into your cunt, earning a strangled whine from you. Burying your hands in his hair, your glossy eyes looked for him for a second. You shouldn’t have done that, because as you took in the sight of Joel with his own eyes closed, browns knitted, your nostrils flared, and you wondered if it was even possible to want somebody that much.
“Joel, wait, I’m– fuck,” your jaw went slack and you scrunched up your face, two of his thick fingers nudging that spot that made you see stars. “I’m close.”
“That’s a good thing, sweetheart. Don’t know why you say it in such a dry tone,” his mouth curved into a smile, his chin and stubble shining with your slick.
Your chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “I don’t want to come yet.”
“But you will.”
A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man.
“Joel–“
“I’ll make you come with my mouth, and then with my cock,” dizziness was starting to blur your vision, your eyelashes fluttering with every hard thrust of his fingers. You glanced up to the ceiling, tears filling your eyes. “Think you can do that for me, be my good girl and come twice?”
You bobbed your head. It was official: he was going to make you come.
Drawing in a long breath, you could feel the unbearable pressure in your core. His name sounded like a prayer on your lips, chanting it in the same way some people expressed their devotion to a certain God. You had your own personal deity, whose tongue accomplished to push you to the limit, licking every drop of your release as if it were a special kind of forbidden elixir.
Your shoulders sagged and you relaxed under him. Joel kissed you, an open mouthed and filthy kiss crowning that moment as you panted. Through the cotton fabric of his boxers, you felt his hard-on poking your thigh. Shoving his underwear down, you took him in your hand, hot and just big, stroking him for real this time. You twisted your wrist at the tip, and he slumped forward, almost crushing you with his entire body weight, his breath dampening your neck. “Wanna fuck you, baby,” he croaked, his hips chasing your touch.
Out of all the scenarios you had ever imagined, none of them included being split open by Joel. You had a very vivid imagination, but no amount of creativity would’ve prepared you for what his cock would feel like inside of you. He bottomed out, his arms shaking where they rested on each side of your head. Joel’s breath quickened as he pulled out, just letting the tip, and then thrusting into you again.
“Fuck,” you didn’t recognize your own voice. It was even hard to decipher if you were still alive or dead from how magnificent he felt.
“So good, sweetheart. You’re so good, such a good girl,” he groaned, fucking deeper into you. His cock pulsed inside you, your cunt squeezing him. “Can’t believe how– how tight you are. You’re gonna make me lose my f–fucking mind.”
It was just too much. You hadn’t even recovered from your last orgasm before Joel started pounding into you like his life depended on it, the obscene sound of skin slapping skin ringing out in the room.
“You gonna come, huh? Gonna make a mess?” you could sense he was also close, his pace faltering as seconds went by, words slurring together. He pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his fists and taking in a sharp breath. “Fuck. I’m not gonna last much longer, baby.”
Come inside, you wished to tell him, to feel his seed dripping out of your greedy hole, painting your walls. But you weren't on the pill; it was also the first time you were sleeping with Joel, and you didn’t know how he would take the… suggestion. “Close,” you yelped instead, tears shimmering in your eyes as Joel’s body hovered over you like the most perfect eclipse.
His thrusts became more frenzied, if possible. “That’s it, darlin’. Come for me,” your gaze fixated upon him, his eyes flickering with hunger. “Wanna see you when you soak my cock.”
Your body went limp, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. Soreness took place in your throat as you moaned his name through the aftershocks, fireworks exploding behind your eyelids. Going rigid, you let go of Joel’s shoulders. He pulled out, mumbling something you didn’t quite catch. You fisted his cock, trying to give him the release he so yearned for. Joel kissed you, messy teeth and saliva taking part of it. Heavy on your hand, his dick twitched as you squeezed the base, roped of his warm cum splattering your belly. The scene reminded you of a painting; he was the talented painter, and you his blank canvas, waiting to be signed with his name.
It was the turn of silence now. None of you said anything for a while, until Joel used his boxers to clean up his cum from your stomach, smiling apologetically at you. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” your fingers delicately traced the contours of his chest as he reclined, enveloping you in the embrace of his strong arms. “Will you stay?”
Please say yes.
“Only if you want me to.”
Moral of the story: learning how to ride a horse can actually be nice if your teacher happens to be Joel Miller.
#joel miller#the last of us#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller x female reader#the last of us hbo#joel x reader#joel tlou#joel the last of us#joel miller x you#Spotify#tlou series#joel x y/n#joel x you#pedro pascal#pedro pascal joel miller#joel smut#tlou fic#tlou hbo#tlou joel#joel miller x y/n#joel miller pedro pascal#the last of us joel#pedro pascal the last of us#pedro pascal fic#joel miller story#joelmiller#joel x female reader#joel x f!reader
3K notes
·
View notes
Note
My friend dragged me back into hetalia but I offer you- in-universe meme thought of just Alfred's tiktok. He's linking an 40 page google doc of Matt's crimes in his bio. Gilbert also has one but it's literally just Britney Broski's tiktok but Gilbert.
haha, I've had the headcanon for awhile that Alfred is legally not allowed to use tiktok or any other social media site that isn't American-owned and operated. there's already a federal law banning installation of tiktok (specifically tiktok, not just foreign social media) on government devices, and imo re: hetalia Alfred would be explicitly included in that bill. it would be the' No TikTok on Government or Alfred F. Jones's Devices Act' lol. sorry baby boy, the Senate said NO.
he could have other social media though, and he's probably a very regular user. he also likes to livestream a lot; he'll go down to the National Mall in DC and basically do a livestream tour of the Smithsonian and federal buildings/monuments etc. and the zoo. and wherever the hell else he feels like provided the Department of Defense doesn't yell at him for it.
also he has a podcast with Matthew except instead of it being a proper podcast in a studio, it's just a recording of their conversation during fishing trips. one episode was two hours' worth of Alfred trying to convince Matthew to go catfishing with just his bare hands or, as it is regionally known, noodling. I think Matthew would prefer the bio link to a 40 page document of his crimes tbh.
I can't comment on the latter for Gilbert because I don't have tiktok and don't know any tiktok content creators ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I like to portray Gilbert as largely blind, so I'd have to go pester the visually impaired community with questions before answering because I'm really not sure the details of how some social media sites compare to others when it comes to accessibility.
#ask#anon#hetalia headcanons#hetalia hcs#hws america#hetalia hc#alfred f. jones#there's something to be said irl for congress being so concerned about Chinese-owned social media companies but not domestic ones#but that's for another time#hws canada#hws prussia
29 notes
·
View notes
Note
I haven't legally changed my name, but I have been pushing my chosen name in my university - writing it down on quizes and tests, using a personal email instead of the assigned uni email that has my dead name, introducing myself with my actual name, just to name a few.
Also my native language requires a suffix at the end of the surname to indicate feminine gender so by removing the feminine suffix, leaving it bare and making it masc./neutur, it becomes pretty clear something is up, everyone in the country will either think you were born outside the country or you are trans if there's other factors (first name change, appearance) if you lack/add the suffix later in life.
Some professors have taken it well, very well actually. Some had a harder time because the name I go by can be seen as a nickname and not a full name - and I'm too scared to go by the full masc version of my name without legally changing it first - but they either got used to it or a simple change in pronunciation of the name made them more comfortable.
And then there's the ones that either cannot comprehend what's happening or are malicious about it. The first type is a professor to whom I literally wrote "prefered name: Name" in an attendance/topic sheet she gave us for one of the projects we needed to do. Ignored. I sent an email from my non-uni assigned email. She saw and replied to it. Ignored. But not only ignored, she used my government name. Which was extremely weird. She keeps forgetting my name, so I reintroduce myself and then she keeps ignoring me and uses my government name. But I still think she isn't too malicious about it.
Unlike the latter type - the straight up transphobic ones. I've had just two professors like that so far. The first one was easy to ignore, especially because we had the majority of our classes online with her. Again, she'd ask my name, I'd reply and she'd get grumpy about it. I know it was malicious because of comments shes made about trans people and neutral language.
And then we have the second one who also can't seem to remember my name, asks, I say my name and she makes a point to say the other name. I tried the different pronunciation trick and at first she accepted that... Until she figured out who I was and again made a point to say my legal name loud and clear for everyone to hear. In addition to that, she's been giving a little too many examples to definitions and the material we are studying that have been low-key transphobic.
Tbh if there were more people attending her seminars I'd straight up ignore her until she gets my name right, but because of how few we are, I don't want to start shit. Especially because we'll only have her for this one semester.
So yeah, academics can be a lot while being trans and not having access to medical transitioning. Still, I'm extremely glad my department is lefty and open minded and the majority of the people are chill. Yes, the negative experiences can sour the mood but I like to remind myself of all the good and understanding people around.
i’m really sorry to hear that some teachers have not been accepting, but the good part is that those teachers seem to be the minority of your college experience.
remember, there are always more good people than bad people.
#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#transmasc#queer#ftm#trans#trans guy#trans man#trans boy#trans masc#trans male
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
what better way to procrastinate than to write random stuff
reviewing the works that the abilities were based on
Part 1: Armed Detective Agency
I just realized that I've finally read all the works attributed to the abilities of the author's BSD counterparts, at least for the ADA. I plan to do this for all organizations in the BSD universe so I can direct my reading and actually finish something HAHA
DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert on literature, let alone Japanese literature, and my short reviews are solely my opinion as a casual reader. These are all for fun so please don't take these so seriously!
Nakajima Atsushi
Ability: Beast Beneath the Moonlight
Original Work: Moon Over the Mountain
This short story has the vibes of a folktale but with existential dread sprinkled throughout. The prose is calm but the agony still reverberates. I liked this more than I though I would, perhaps because of how clean it felt. Honestly this would be one of the OG works I'd recommend to a BSD fan who wants to try classic Japanese literature.
Dazai Osamu
Ability/Original Work: No Longer Human
This is probably the one novel/work most BSD fans would pick up first - and for a good reason. The themes are pretty universal albeit heavy, the tone of the narrator throughout the entire novel is gripping, the translation by Donald Keene is very readable, and it's just in the most general sense a summary of Dazai-sensei's own life. The last point must be taken with a grain of salt, however, as he's a master liar - something you'll find out if you dig more into his life and other works. If you'd like to see depression in book form, this is for you.
Kunikida Doppo
Ability: Doppo Poet
Original Work: Doppo Collection (probably)
Here's a case of "I can't really find the original work so I'll be reviewing something else instead"
Reviewing: Those Unforgettable People
I chose to talk about this one since it's the one found in the Penguin Anthology. It's an interesting mix of forms: technically, it's a short story. However, the elements of poetry and even of the essay are present - mostly the latter, tbh. Of course the whole "ideal" thing is such a Kunikida-sensei thing that it appears it almost every story he wrote, yet somehow in this one you'll have to squint a little bit more to see it. The point of this story-essay-poem thing is at the very end (the first half is quite dragging imo) is what gives it a little oomph, but honestly I much prefer his other works (specifically Old Gen and Death).
Tanizaki Jun'ichirou
Ability/Original Work: Sasameyuki
You like a slow burn? You like pain? Familial drama? Maybe you'll like this. Maybe you won't. It's a mammoth of a book that feels like a series of extremely detailed telenovela episodes - not that it's necessarily a bad thing. I enjoyed it despite the length because the way it ends, although hardly strong at all, ties the themes and messages of the novel cleanly into a single scene.
Miyazawa Kenji
Ability/Original Work: Be Not Defeated by the Rain
It's a poem every Japanese elementary student would know. The message and style is so simple yet beautiful (I read Sulz's translation). It's joyful and so sunny... until I read the background on it. I cried over his work. Again. (Night on the Galactic Railroad PLS) Man I just love this author so much. But I'm not really a poem person to begin with, so take this review with a grain of salt HAHA
Yosano Akiko
Ability/Original Work: Thou Shalt Not Die
The only complete translation I could find is written in painfully archaic English, so I won't comment on the style HAHA. But I do think the original was just as pointed in its words and message; its anti-war sentiments and middle finger to the Japanese emperor and military (at the time) so characteristically Yosano-sensei. It's sad she'd support WW2 later on - come on sensei WHY
Personally, however, I prefer her shorter poems, specifically the ones from River of Stars. But I'm not really a poem person to begin with, so take this review with a grain of salt HAHA
Izumi Kyouka
Ability: Demon Snow
Original Work: Demon Pond
It's been a while since I've read a play, and perhaps that's why I had a hard time getting through the first half - either that or it was quite lackluster as most of the actual story happens in the second half. Its influences from folktales and traditional Japanese theater (i.e. kabuki and noh) are very apparent - I wish I could have seen it instead of read it because of that. I think this is the first work of Kyouka's that I actually liked (I've read some of his short stories and one of his other plays) so I'll definitely recommend this one if you want to start with this author.
There's also a movie adaptation of it that I haven't watched yet (but I do plan to). I think it could be much better than just reading it as is because of the visuals and mood setting, but a review on that soon. Maybe.
Fukuzawa Yukichi
Ability: All Men Are Created Equal
Original Work: An Encouragement of Learning (Sec. 1-2)
I couldn't be bothered to read the whole thing, but the essence of the ability only comes from the first two sections (which I'll be reviewing).
It's an essay that imo serves as a good introduction to Fukuzawa's philosophy. His views and arguments are built primarily on morality with logic acting mostly as a way to expound on his points. It's interesting, nothing really new for a contemporary reader, but at least it gives a nice background on the changing environment during the early years of Meiji-era Japan. Of course there are personal biases here (specifically the one with China - one of the greatest criticisms against Fukuzawa, even though he was supposedly progressive for his time) but imo that reflects some views of many Japanese at the time - not that they're right, of course.
But what about our special non-gifted boi?
I guess let's look at what one of the episodes was based on instead lol
Edogawa Ranpo
Episode: The Murder on D. Street (S01E05)
Original Work: The Case on D. Hill
I will tell you now: they have almost NO similarities whatsoever. Doesn't mean it's bad tho...
Okay ngl I was pretty disappointed HAHA. It's the same type of disappointment I had with Poe's Murders on the Rue Morgue (which was ironically referenced in the story) but it at least had some sense to it. I blame myself for not seeing it coming tho, given that this story is very typical of Edogawa-sensei. If you do plan to read it, however, be warned that there are implicit (?) themes that may be uncomfortable for some readers (this warning applies to most of Edogawa-sensei's work not made specifically for children HAHA).
#bsd#japanese literature#dazai osamu#nakajima atsushi#kunikida doppo#edogawa ranpo#yosano akiko#miyazawa kenji#fukuzawa yukichi#tanizaki junichirou#izumi kyouka
46 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello there! I'm Eden :D I LOVE your renders! I've been rendering for well over a year at this point, however I only stuck to the super basic stuff since it took me a year before that to even know how to do it at all. I've wanted to up my game and get to where you are now. I'm SO SORRY if this question was asked already (I haven't gotten too far in your posts yet), but;
How do you personally edit your renders? I understand you use photoshop, but how do you do it exactly? Your renders have that kind of digital art style, like you drew them yourself. Feel free to be as descriptive or brief as you'd like!
Hi Eden!!! Thank you so much! 🥹😍♥️
I've followed you back and glad we're moots! I'd love to see some of your work!
I'm not sure if I've answered this before but I'm happy to answer it again! Also I haven't advertised it in a while (and I really need to try to get up a new tut, maybe soon), but my alt account is a Render School where I post tutorials, with plans to post editing tutorials in the future!
But honestly as far as my editing, I really don't do much.
Actions are my secret weapon, and I have a few favorites/go-tos I'll link! A few are by simmers and a few are just action sets. I'm in a family of photographers, so I have access to a wealth of resources for my editing.
Sonder set by @intramoon
Cold Water set by @intramoon
Retro Prime photoshop actions
Indie camera photoshop actions
But my "secret weapon," as it were, and the set of actions that I think most helps me accomplish that digital art style is a set of actions that are sadly expensive and hard to find now.
My favorite set is by Totally Rad! and I think in recent years it's been folded in to this Pixel Sugar product on their website. I know that's a steep price point but it's possible you can find it around the corners of the Internet for less, or if you can't, you might be able to find "dupes" of the better ones, which imo are:
Technicolor dream world
Super Fun Happy
Bullet Tooth
Grandma's Tap Shoes
As for my method, I know a lot of simmers paint over their renders, and I've done that a few times but find I'm too impatient tbh. My goal is always to have to do only minor touchups over my renders and some color/vibe adjustments before the finished product. My "raw" files are always exactly what blender spits out for me, unaltered in any way except to resize them for Tumblr.
To get that digital art style, I'd recommend rendering with alpha details if you don't already. If your computer can't handle alpha cc in the game, DM me and I can give you some pointers (sneak peek info for a future tut lmao) on how to accomplish it without bogging down your game.
When I go into photoshop I adjust the brightness and contrast, as I tend to personally prefer high contrast pieces that contain dark subject matter but you can still see the details. Then I'll paint/blur/clone/adjust anything that needs it, then I'll "stack" and adjust a handful of actions before applying edge blur and vignette and any other color adjustments (levels, curves, etc).
That's a very oversimplified rundown of what I do, but really overall my editing process is simple. The bulk of my work happens in blender itself. I find that the more time I take to perfect the lighting and shadows and angles in blender, the less frustrating the editing process and the happier I am with the end result. So, that said, be sure you're spending a lot of time in blender getting the light and shadows to be exactly where you need/want them to be before running it.
I know this is a bit long I'm sorry! If any of it is super confusing or you'd like a more in-depth look at any of it please let me know! I do plan to do editing tutorials for my side blog, but the latter half of this year has kind of run over me like a train, and for now I'm just trying to get by day by day. But I'm happy to help if you have more specific questions!
& thank you again!! ♥️
#replies#thank you so much this literally made my day#I was having a bad one too ugh I needed this#mini blender tutorial#tutorial ish#sims 4 blender tutorial#sims 4 render tutorial#sims 4 editing tutorial#I can't tell yall how happy it makes me when yall love my work#legit holding back tears#♥️♥️♥️
18 notes
·
View notes
Note
ship bias for drummer & martha !
ship bias meme / @galaxye
camina drummer !
okay so no. 1 has to be camina & her polyambelterfam - this is her one canon romantic "pairing" and it's just handled so wonderfully by the writers and gives camina so much interesting development from s5 onwards. i'm not sure if i'd say i'm the biggest fan of the way her and oksana's relationship turned out, at least in terms of her specific dynamics with the other main crew members of the dewalt, but i do like what that dynamic achieves for camina's characterisation in addressing that she has so much anger and trauma to overcome in order to accept love from others. it's just so nice to see polyamorous relationships depicted on screen too.
i also have to give a mention to camina & naomi lmao. it should have been canon. they did polyamory with camina and her crew, so it would have been easy to accomplish with naomi & holden too. i'm not sure i necessarily ship camina with holden, i think in an ot3 situation it would have to be a dynamic with naomi at the centre ( as she deserves ), a little like how the writers pitched it during the latter half of s3, but i think they are both incredibly important parts of naomi's life and she deserves to have them both tbh.
then speaking exclusively about the telltale game, i absolutely ship camina & maya. they did everything right when it came to maya ( and one day i'll replay the game so that i can actually save her because rip, that hurt my soul ), camina canonically falls for/chooses to orbit around visionaries and idealists and i think it makes a lot of sense for her to have an early romantic relationship with someone like maya to help inform the sort of preferences she has during the show timeline.
those are my only canon pairings for camina, i think she is way too sharp and savvy for any of the men she spends her time around ( i just can't picture it with dawes, fred or ashford ). but i will always ship her with happiness + people who can look past her scary, tough exterior and appreciate the heart of gold that she has hiding underneath.
martha jones !
so can i preface this by talking about what i absolutely do not, under any circumstances, ship ? martha and ten lmaoooo. no thank you no way. don't get me wrong, i looove ten, he is my favourite doctor and i have so much nostalgia attached to david's run as the doctor, but i have Opinions about him where martha is concerned and frankly would like her to stay away. i do think their dynamic is interesting for very specific reasons, but the further i can pull martha away from her unrequited love plot, the better imo. i'd be even happier if i can just pretend it never existed in the first place. i think this also rules out shipping martha with any other iteration of the doctor too, i'm just Not Interested in really going there, y'know? i prefer doctor who when it's not all about the romantic tension.
martha & mickey is an interesting one. it's the way that martha's story canonically ends and i'm extremely ambivalent about it, probably because we are given absolutely Nothing and no reason to really care about the fact that they are together aside from a quick scene during david's last episode. do i think they could be a good fit ? yes, definitely, do i like that they shafted tom milligan ? nope, not at all lmao. so it's not something i would auto-ship but i absolutely could ship it with the right person, they both have similar experiences of being shafted and dismissed repeatedly by others and both had to prove themselves, so i think on paper it could work really well and i would one day love to explore it.
martha & jack. again, i wouldn't auto-ship it, but i have shipped it in the past and i do love the idea of them together under specific circumstances. do i necessarily think it could work out long term ? i'm on the fence, i'm not sure jack could give martha what she ultimately Needs ( stability, love, a safe home to come back to ) long term. however i love how protective jack is of her throughout both dw and tw and it's obvious that he really really cares about her and her family. and martha is flirtatious, this is a canon fact. so i find it difficult to believe something wouldn't happen between the two of them at some point, however fleeting it was. i think they could learn a lot from each other.
also a quick shoutout to martha & jason ( @synchronzed ) because i always have to credit rat for writing spectacular ships with me and this is one i'm really excited about. martha deserves a silly boy who simps for her, that is all.
and lastly, martha & happiness is up there too. the girl deserves someone who think she is a goddess among mortals because she is and i will not accept anything less for a queen like her. she takes care of everyone around her and it's only right that she has someone who will take care of her in return. i also hc her as bi, so this needn't be restricted to just boys too. i think her dynamic with miranda raison's character in dw ( the showgirl from the 30s ) is super interesting when looked at through that sort of lens.
#galaxye#* / be yourself. everyone else is taken ( ooc. )#ahhh my sci fi ladies !! thank you so much for this !!
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
holiday tag game!
> it's festivus for the rest of us so grab your chanukah bush, your mistletoe, your pagan ritual or whatever brings you joy and come gather round the fire 🪵 and celebrate your pocket friends 🤶🏻
i was tagged by @creepkinginc, @lovekenney, and @guinguin1984!
🔠 favourite nickname you’ve ever been given:
i don't have a nickname tbh...i'm just leinth
🗺️ where are you located?
the bluegrass state in the USA
🥶⛱️ what season is it where you are now?
winter, with all its glooms attached
🥳 favourite tradition this time of year:
being a non-christian in the bible belt is a tradition in and of itself quite honestly :p
🥧 favourite holiday food:
my homemade chocolate chip cookies or my wife's chocolate truffles. either way they're delicious.
☕️ mulled wine, eggnog or hot apple cider?
fuck that, i'm drinking bourbon!
🍗 turkey, ham or nut roast (or tofurkey?)?
ham, preferably
🏔️🏖️ would you rather spend the december holidays in: a cabin in the woods surrounded by snow, or a house on the beach with sun and sand?
cabin in the woods!!! i'd love to follow my favorite winter fanfic trope of getting snowed in and having to snuggle for warmth
❄️ are you pro-snow or anti-snow?
pro-snow, anti-ice (we get way more of the latter than the former around here)--as long as i don't have to drive in it i'm happy!
⛄️ have you ever built a snowman?
i mean, when i was a kid sure, but not any time recently
⛷️ skiing or snowboarding?
i could never do either or i would very likely die
🎍 do you decorate for the holidays?
yes but only because my wife enjoys it. we do have a lovely black holiday tree with red lights and a satanic tree skirt tho so it's fun for a household of godless heathens
🎬 favourite holiday movie?
die hard, the green knight, and nightmare before christmas!
📖 favourite holiday fanfic?
i've only ever read the one so we'll go with Notes on Optimism by grayola
🎥 if you were to star in a hallmark movie, who would be your love interest? where would it take place?
give me a hot older lady witch who wants to celebrate the yuletide season like old school pagans? idk i've never seen a hallmark movie in my life but let me get swept off my feet like that~
tagging @m4ndysk4nkovich, @redwiccanrobin, @svetlanayevgenivna, @diemarysues, @bees-flowers, and anyone else who wants to join in
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
really interested in your thoughts on jonathan tbh! I'd love to know what happened in the latter seasons that made you change your mind about his character
hiii <3 so i think what happened was i never really liked jonathan and i simply convinced myself that i did. to be clear i don’t think jonathan is like a Problematic character or anything and i don’t mind at all when i see content/posts about him!! it’s very much a to each their own thing so pls no one yell at me this is just my personal preference <3 to me jonathan is most compelling in season one where he’s dealing with this weight of will being gone and not understanding why his mom won’t accept the truth and feeling like the responsibility of dealing with what happened falls on him completely. to me that storyline presented jonathan as a unique character with very grounded and real issues! but then jancy happened and jonathan just immediately gets stripped of his own storyline for the next ….. literally 3 seasons. once his storyline revolves so much around romance in s2 and 3, it makes him just less interesting and less compelling in my humble opinion. i was excited for him to be separated from nancy in s4, hoping we could get back to some of his storyline from s1, but instead he really just has….nothing going on in s4. at least nothing thematically or resembling any sort of arc. i do feel for jonathan (and charlie heaton) because i feel like he just got fucked over by the storyline and the writers kinda losing interest in him. now beyond everything i just said in which i tried to be objective about writing and characterization and stuff, i will now be petty and say 1. i do not tend to like alt artsy male characters who say stuff like “i’ll be home listening to the talking heads and reading vonnegut” or “i’m dressed as a guy who hates parties” or the entire scene where he attempts to apologize to nancy for taking creep pics of her and then ends up lecturing her on how she’s “just another suburban girl” etc. i just don’t like the way his dialogue is written! and to be Extra petty….and i know this makes me a rabid steve girl……i officially gave up on trying to like him when he said that “who else would’ve been in charge? steve?” shit because to me it kinda proves that jonathan doesn’t really ever develop or change. he’s the exact character he was in season one except now he like smokes weed. and to me that’s just boring. i think the version of jonathan that i liked was really like an idealized characterization that i Wish the writers would give him, but it’s clear by now that they won’t so…..to the chopping block he goes
63 notes
·
View notes
Note
happy birthday and happy wincest wednesday!! inspired by the survey results, what are some more particular flavors of shameless bottom dean you'd like to see more of? or write more of?
hello bud happy wincest thursday bc i was out of commission all day yesterday due to cold meds
but now here i am
aaand that's an interesting one. I guess my answer would be -- and I try to write this more often now (when I scrounge my act together to ever write anything these days) -- shameless bottom!Dean of the variety where he, himself, is literally shameless.
I am alll for self-shaming Dean, it's one of my favorite modes for him and it's basically the whole plot of the fic that more or less launched my spn fic career, but there's something truly delightful indeed if he just literally likes the feeling of stuff up his ass and that's all there is to it. Or, in the broader definition of 'bottom' aka bottom energy aka 'just let me lay here and be done unto', a Dean who's just a hedonist and wants to be made to feel good and isn't stressed about that. Come over here and do stuff and let me drift in a sea of delights, unhindered by concerns. Happily, my preferred choice for someone to take him to that sea of delights is a latter-seasons Sam, who is coast guard certified. Or some metaphor like that. (The cold meds are still in full effect tbh.)
Anyway, that. The mewling kitten who stutters through shock at Sam's baseball bat dick isn't actually what I like, though it for sure falls under the category of 'shameless bottom dean' stuff. I've probably written it a few times, lol. But yeah -- less of the LL style shuddery ravishment and more of the "hey, you've got a fat dick and I've got nothing to do tomorrow, let's get it done" vibe is what I'd like. Easier to do with established relationship, though. ...So I'd also like more established relationship fic, lol.
#answers#happy wincest wednesday#seriously my face hurts so i hope this is coherent#but i hope you know what i mean#no to phoththnus in lethe#yes to... grownup who knows what he wants and gets it
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
ep 9 notes
haven't checked the tag yet, need to sort through / document my thoughts first.
i'm a bit... disappointed, i guess? but i think that's owed to my expectations. after a week of collective theorizing i was (not so) secretly hoping for a sauruman VS gandalf style face off and so what we got felt a bit... pedestrian?
so i guess the gardener did hurt him after all, just not the 'shears-in-your-body' kind of inury? i honestly thought he'd stick to stalking.
speaking of which, i'll be disappointed if it's really garden dude using nayeon and not the other way round. nayeon being skilled in black magic and just using / playing men left and right to reach her own various ends and satisfy her needs would have elevated the character immensely. feels a bit disrespectful tbh.
speaking of disrespect, i suspected as much, but still... how can they have the mother not know? like honestly? how can her asshole husband tell the woman his son just broke up with about the illness but not his wife? i reeeaaally want hj to hex him... like, make him step on a lego everyday of his life. or have shampoo get into his eyes. something like that.
back in ep. 3 when sy saw hj in the dress and just last episode, we focused on his right hand. same happend during the proposal scene in ep. 5 and yesterday in the hospital with nayeon. i guess that holds significance?
were sy and ny ever intimate with each other?
i liked how they filmed the nightmare hj had.
also, how ambigious jg still feels. though i'm leaning towards ally who hasn't realized yet that he missed his shot. (also, does jg know the mayor is dirty? the mayor is dirty, right? playing footsie with the haum ceo? is that why he poached sy? to take on the mayor? and if he doesn't know, doesn't that just really undercut his character?)
did garden dude hit sy with some magic to make him black out? did that magic bring back his past memories? i thought he remembered when he woke up in the hospital.
but then i really don't understand the artistic decision process behind the scene in front of the hospital. that scene made (makes) me think i must be mistaken? how can he remember loving / killing her 300 years ago and the first thing he asks about is the in house messenger? (yeah, i know, he wanted her to go back on her word...) but even if he wanted to not let on, where were the longing / pining / loving eyes from last episode? the whole thing just felt very bland and weird.
also, poor rowoon. they obvs. didn't find hospital pants long enoug for him.
also, pls. don't push sick / hospitalized people. you don't know what tubes / needles they have sticking in or out of them. drama writers, find other ways to initiate physical touch. (just as lazy as drunk alley dude in ep 2).
i cared about ma and go for the first time. that scene was funny. i don't appreciate that once again show insinuates that a man is needed to keep a home in order, but since ma is freshly divorced it is plausible. for a moment i thought he was gonna choke her out or pass out himself. lol
also, re the hug, 'what kind of man asks that beforehand?'. the kind that respects boundaries and gives you the chance to say no? uncool ma, uncool show.
i guess no tentative friendships at work, but passive-aggressiveness?
loved the fireworks and the traditional music. was my favourite part of the episode. that slapped. wished they would have kept that music for the romantic scene.
there's still the option that him wholeheartedly embracing his feelings for hj brought upon the past memories. in which case that must be one long-ass hug. still, i'd prefer that scenario over the hospital-dream one. embracing his feelings because he remembers cheapens it a bit imo. its prob. the latter though seeing how he asked his mom about past lives.
his parents' bickering is getting on my nerves.
this episode felt really disjointed. i understand the cuts / edits were to not reveal too much, but at this point i'm just really annoyed by it.
for that reason bridge scene didn't have the impact it prob. should have had since i wasn't really sure what was going on?
spell scene too short, dress not as strange / pretty. but loved the music. also, what spell did she use? seduction?
i liked the child actors surprisingly much. i liked it even more that already as a child she had shaman capabilities.
i know tall people fall in love too, but man those hugs looked uncomfortable.
there's many other thoughts in my head but lastly: i guess only him remembers the past out of the two of them. i don't like that. at all. after 8 episodes it finally felt like they were on somewhat even footing when it came to knowledge about magic, spells, curses.... having only him remember once again means he knows more and is the proactive one, whereas she is only reacting and being driven by him. (but, if only him remembers, how can we as an audience see the things that only she can know? being brought to the shaman as a child? her premunition of the bloody hand?)
on that note, i hope the next kiss is initiated by hj. would be nice to see her express her desires / feelings. 3 kisses in and it's always him planting one on her. reciprocity is hot!! gimme gimme gimme!
#destined with you#ramblings#zippy can't zip it#stream of consciousness#free flow#i like this writing exercise#might need to keep this for other things#episode 9 and still more questions#i couldn't help but feel the writer doesn't like women very much?#like some decisions just felt really disrespectful#bordering on misogynistic#saving grace is that the dudes are unsympathetic as well#poor wookie#shin-yu was really harsh#but he wanted to see his women#needs to do it in secret though cause technically he's still two-timing#also rowoon looked huge in the crowd-shots on the bridge#did hong-jo's hair change?#it did no?#i wish we could have seen a bit more of her falling for him#i really want a hong-jo / nayeon and shin-yu / haum ceo showdown
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
[ooc post]
wahoooo intro post time
edit: I DO NOT GET NOTIFS FOR ASKS OR MENTIONS!! if you send or answer an ask to/from this blog, please LIKE one of the posts so I get a notif and am prompted to check this blog because I have too many.
i saw people making rp blogs + didn't want to be a total clone + like angst. so this happened.
im @2-kakimiko-1 i run @junior-high-ena-official @riho-hasegawa-official and @jail-x-break-official too
the mod is autistic and a minor and uses he/it and a handful of neopronouns listed here :3 you don't need to overuse tone tags or anything but I struggle to tell tone sometimes so I'd appreciate it if you used them !! my timezone is est if it matters
i'd prefer if you used he/it/they for the character! Ngl I used to say no shippy interaction but I genuinely do not remember why I felt that way so. its allowed now yippee
for all intents and purposes this blog is set around the end of Rui's 3rd year of junior high/the summer of his 3rd year of junior high. :3
ummm headcanon time because I'll be playing by those. he's pan, aceflux, transmasc and he just figured that out, and autistic and bpd. he knows the former not the latter. bad at taking care of himself but that's a given. yeah 👍
this blog has and will continue to cover heavy topics, mostly bullying and occasionally sh and sui related things. they will all be tagged and if I forget please tell me! you are also always welcome to ask me to tag anything, I'll tag common triggers if I remember but if theres something I miss or something you need tagged again T E L L M E P L E A S E
ummm dni. basic dni criteria racist MAP or w/e homophobic transphobic ableist etc um I think that's it tbh uhh dni if youre weird (/neg) about rui and think hes a violent cannibal yandere whatever the hell. since I did mention he has bpd I think this needs to be picked out even though it falls under ableism get the actual fuck off my blog if you can't be normal about cluster b disorders.
uhhh be nice to rui hes sensitive be nice to the mod i am also sensitive/hj
edit: my rp style!! I feel like I should clarify it!!
ooc is the double slash! → // like this
unformatted text indicates speech! → like this
italics indicate actions! → like this
italics with brackets indicate internal thoughts! → [like this]
tags:
#ooc post - ooc post
#rooftop whispers - everything in-character
#rooftop mewls - funny other in-character tag for when he gets turned into a cat by anons. this will likely become a regular occurrence.
#tw ____ - trigger tags
picrew used for cat icon
--
arc tags and respective warnings:
#kamishiro family angst - series of events catalysed by several rui clones experiencing negative things at once, mrs kamishiro collapsing under the stress of taking care of that all, and as one thing leads to another, other kamishiro family members end up injured and hospitalized. warnings for: hospital related things, overworking, fainting, car accidents, mentions of brainwashing and torture (on exthief rui), descriptions of injury ranging from minor to more graphic to gory.
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello sharpie!!
just wanted to drop by and ask,,, how do you think yuqi and minnie fuck? i see them being total vers switches and fighting for dominance tbh,,,,
minnie would get super physical and tease the other girl’s sensitive spots until her whole body is hers to use!! and as for yuqi, she’d totally start degrading minnie and spitting harsh words at her until the latter obeys and acts like a good girl for her mommy,, then they fuck the end❤️
Hello to you too anon!!
Oh you're bringing back my Minqi brainrot right now GRAHH
Now you're absolutely right about them being verses but I do think that usually Minnie prefers being the one receiving, domming or not.
Yuqi is.. well. Yuqi. Her voice GRUAGAU I'd say she usually manages to win Minnie over by the simple power that is her voice. I mean.. it's HAWT as fuckk who wouldn't just fold at her dirty talkin LIKEEE she may be a huge loser (compliment BC I'm also a loser) but God damn can she talk dirty 😵💫😵💫
But Minnie's like also very good at dirty talk and much less lewser than Yuqi.. more confidence and all and blah blah blah. So I'll say it's a balanced fight, probably...
Now I personally see Yuqi as too loser to degrade Minnie because she goes "why would I insult the one I love 😢 that's mean!!" And Minnie's just like "fucking loser" and Yuqi just folds like "...but when it's the other way around-"
Minnie absolutely teases Yuqi with no mercy though that's absolutely right..
Has her in a chokehold istg (she has me in a chokehold too I mean what?? OMG WHO WROTE THIS?!!)
Mommy kink is very much one of my kinks idgaf about what people say anymore I want a pretty girl to call me mommy!!!
Yuqi would absolutely have a mommy kink as well and Minnie is about to make fun of her like hell but then gets into it as well 💀
"You have a mommy kink? That's so cringe" Minnie then when Yuqi calls her mommy once she does a full 180 and goes "wait that's kinda hot.."
With that being said... begging is definitely Minnie's thing when she doms as well GODD hearing Yuqi whimper and beg desperately for her is better than any music to her ears like!!
Yuqi definitely sends her voice messages when they're away from one another to tease her and get Minnie all hot and bothered ❤️❤️
Dirty talk is obviously not a small thing and very much a hugeee thing with them.. I have a feeling Yuqi is a bit into being called Minnie's toy, or doll 😵💫
Praise kink praise kink praise kink!!! Lots of praise I swear it's a hugee thing with them like I just see both of them having praise kinks and it goes both ways really; they like being praised and they like praising the other. They're in love, your honor!!
Thanks for the ask anon 🙏🙏🙏
#sharpie on drugs#sharpie thinks#(sharpie)i dle#yuqi smut#minnie smut#gidle smut#minqi#kpop gg#sharpie answers
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've spoken about how op was jealous of Megatron and projecting, but I never actually went into any detail. Tbh, I'm not certain it's truly jealousy. It's more of a "Do I want to be her? Or do I just want her."
I can read so much queer subtext into the aligned op and meg plot lines.
Quickly brushing over Megatron, he's actually not a very jealous person. He readily admits to himself his jealousy about Soundwave, in that Soundwave was s triple changer who could fly, but he was also awkwardly jealous of his relationship with his minicons- either because he couldn't do the same, or of the quasi-family type bonds a deployer and minicon share. I'd bet on the latter because when Megatron is jealous/envious, he sets out to get it. He wanted to fly. He gained a jet mode. He wanted a family, he found a "brother".
Orion Pax, however... doesn't. There's not actually much we see orion pax go out of his way for aside from contacting megatron. He usually just obeys alpha trion and offloads most of his thinking to him. In the covenant, it's not until alpha trion praises him for being idealistic that "For the first time he considered himself as something potentially worthwhile, -a bot who had something to offer the world instead of one who awkwardly negotiated with it." Which is just sad. From there, he helps name and catalogue the cybertronian ages, but there's a limit to that.
Orion doesn't set out to fix the world until he comes across Megatron, and even Alpha trion can't really shake him from admiring Megatron.
His jealousy is a natural thing to follow from here. Megatron has a purpose, Megatron believes in his own ideals so strongly he'd kill for them. He has physical strength, is apparently mesmerising in a fight, has connections across the planet, and tons of devoted fans and followers who obey his every command.
Orion to his credit does start combat training and gaining curious fans of his own, and is flattered when Alpha trion asks him to give an opinion for the council, but all of this is prompted because of his connection to megatron.
There's room to grow resentment here, even in the strongest of friendships... but there wasn't much of that to begin with.
Weirdly, though Orion risks a lot by warning Megatron, by breaking travel laws to see him, by continuing their acquaintance even though Megatron is a criminal and then a suspected terrorist, Orion is always unsettled by Megatron's gestures of friendship, first by the title friend, then upset even more by the title "brother".
You see where I'm going with this.
When orion gains the primacy and becomes Optimus, he doesn't get what's happened and at some point to Ratchet calls it jealousy. Because Orion would have been jealous if Megs was acknowledged by the council in the same way.
Even when Optimus has everything he was jealous of. A cool new title, a bigger alt mode, followers, etc. He doesn't feel like he has any real power, making him a bit sensetive to any signs of disrespect. In spite of this, He prefers Jazz's way of interacting with him (with the nickname op,).
But the title of brother still bothers him when Megatron starts using it again, though he never denies any of Megatron's claims of an unbreakable bond between the two of them.
...
I'm saying Optimus is deep in whatever cybertronians have instead of a closet.
36 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm curious as to what outfit they're gonna give Brave F!Corrin; i'm pretty certain it's going to be either Hoshidan Noble, Vallite Noble from Cipher, or just her wearing Mikoto's outfit.
I'd personally prefer for it to be either of the latter two, since her getting Hoshidan Noble would imply M!Corrin'd only get his version of the Nohrian Noble outfit if he wins a CYL, something that won't be happening anytime soon, which would also be a shame because Nohr Noble M!Corrin is far and away the best outfit Corrin's ever had imo.
Anything other than just Hoshido or Nohr Noble tbh. Which I think there won't be any worries on that front cuz of how those outfits are used anyway.
But also same, I'm glad there's fellow Nohr Noble M!Corrin enjoyers, it's such a good look on him 😭❤️
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
1 - 23 :3
cracks knuckles
okay
1. how would you describe your art style?
uhhhhhhhh, maybe "safe" is the word rn. whenever I think of my art style, what comes to mind is just how little I've been pushing things with it. I wanna change that ;D
2. what's your favorite thing about your style?
I realize I like to use semi-realistic proportions, its cool how comfortable I've gotten with drawing faces and bodies
3. what's your least favorite thing about your style?
It's so static man. same thing I said for the first question, I don't think anything really looks bad, but it just is lacking in creativity in comparison to the older art that should be looking worse than what I do now. I prefer my older stuff ;D (looking at you inktobertale2021.. where did it all go wrong)
4. favorite thing to draw?
regular ol people. human characters are def more in my comfort zone, which explains why I keep hitting skeletons with the humanization ray (also I prefer to draw feminine characters)
5. least favorite thing to draw?
I can't even say I rlly dislike it cuz of how rarely I even do it, but I am procrastinating so hard on learning backgrounds..
6. warm colors or cool colors?
cool colors are my fav, but i find it easier to work with warm ones (I used to put a cool overlay over all my warm toned drawings hgdhfg)
7. show us a WIP
behold, the wip ever. this drawing... was supposed to be posted on august 2022. and then, it was supposed to be posted on dec 21st, dream and nightmares birthday. (atp if I do end up wanting to finish this idea again, I'll probably just scrap it and start over)
8. what's the most fun and least fun parts about your process?
most fun is flat color and rendering. (though I rarely do the latter anymore) and for least fun, tbh a lot of the sketching part tends to be difficult for me, sometimes its cool tho
9. show us a finished piece alongside the original sketch
example from when sketching was fun
10. how many different sketches do you usually have until your piece is finished?
I think I do need to make more of at least thumbnail sketches tbh.. I usually just make one and keep editing it, trusting the process. (and that fails like 70% of the time. woww wonder why sketching isnt fun for me-)
11. show us the last thing you drew, be it a finished piece or a small doodle
can this count,,
12. show us an old drawing
first deltarune drawing. here's the redraw I later made of this :3 (also old hsgdhgf)
13. how long do you usually take one a piece?
depends. I'll have like 276478923 wips started, and then I get a random idea that I just have to do right at that moment, and I'll get it done in like 1-4 hours. meanwhile old sketches start to rot and maybe if its lucky I'll revisit it before my motivation dies and my style is too different to wanna continue from where I left off
14. digital or traditional?
digital all the way, i've gotten too dependent on the transform tool + liquefy ;D (and many other things tbh but I'd be here all day if I tried comparing them more jhdjdf)
15. if digital, what program do you use?
procreate, the layouts on other drawing programs scare me
16. favorite media to work with when drawing traditionally
pen on paper (am I understanding this right wdym media-)
17. what do you love getting compliments about?
I like when people enjoy the humanizations I come up with, and also original designs in general
18. are you satisfied with the attention your art usually gets?
hmmm yeah
19. how often do you draw?
very often, I just don't have finished things to share most days
20. a piece from this year that you're really proud of
:3
21. something you would like to improve on
the dynamicness (well, the lack of it) of everything, as said before
22. what inspires you?
Ink sans and a ton of creators in this fandom (also animated shows and movies, I love animation)
23. what's something you hope people notice when looking at your art?
idk tbh, just notice it at all and I'm happy :>
#shy rambles#ask game#long post#twinribbonz#yaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#another sign to look for more references#my problem may be going from imagination too often
8 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
gumdropwater
용연주 ♡
eloskodok-dvdrip-teljes-filmek
[Film-Magyarul] Eloskodok [2020] Teljes Filmek Videa HD
packdenkoffer
PackdenKoffer
i-had-a-dream-with-you
I had a dream with you
turpinhillslane
Turpin Hills Lane