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#i wrote a post about it on my main some months ago and i watched dead apple again recently so i decided to illustrate this ksjfdhkjgh

grippingbeskar · 2 years

Text

had you said the words

obi-wan kenobi x fem!reader

word count: 7.5k

warnings: ADULT CONTENT MINORS DNI (oral m and f receiving, general sexual content, obi-wan is a virgin but they don’t actually fuck but yeah) swearing, think that’s it??

a/n: obi wan i love youuUuUuUu. okay in honour of the show coming out i am finally letting go of this lil thing I made. i wrote it months ago but never felt like it was good enough to post but here we are!! im feeling okay about how it turned out so i hope u enjoy and if you didn’t just lie and say you did!!! also this is inspired by that one line from the clone wars u know the one. okay that’s enough goodbye!

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“This is ridiculous! You can’t do this!” You shout to the Jedi council. In front of you is some of the galaxy’s most respected members, the most seasoned generals from the clone wars, and yet not a single one seems to be able to see reason.

“We must. For the good of the Jedi.” Mace Windu says from the corner of the room, not meeting your eye. Your face drops, unable to comprehend their callousness.

“How could you? You know me. I would never jeopardise my career. This is what I’ve done my entire life! I-’

“This isn’t permanent, however the council has made a decision. We cannot afford to have a Jedi falter in their cause - not now, in the middle of a war.” Plo Kloon says, empathy guarded behind the crushing words. So that was that. All this over one decision.

You made one mistake.

One.

During the heat of battle, you lost sight of your focus, lost control, all because of one particular member of the council who sits in front of you now, saying nothing. Obi-Wan cant even look at you, and you dont know if its because of disappointment or if he just doesn’t care as much as you thought he would. Maybe he agrees with them. A sense of anger washed over you and you see him fidget in his chair, locking eyes with you for the first time since the council called session.

“He would have died.” Your voice shakes as you tilt your head towards Obi Wan Kenobi, leaving his gaze to find the rest of the council staring at you. “I saw the situation and reacted. I only did what I had to - to save him.”

“Had to, you did?” Master Yoda croaks from next to Mace, and you shudder a breath under his accusation, but nod.

“Yes.” The council all look at you, well, all except Kenobi, who’s knuckles are going white gripping the side of his chair, and nod. You bow your head, knowing you are fighting a losing battle, and spin to leave the room.

“You are one of the best of us, child. We know you meant no harm, but this is the Jedi way.” Kit calls and you dont get a chance to respond as the doors shutter behind you.

You were heartbroken. All day you had been turning over the events of yesterday in your head, trying to see a way out - another way you could have saved his life without compromising your career. There was none.

It started out as any battle did, the longevity of the Clone wars hardening most Jedi to become seasoned generals. Anakin and Ahsoka took troops around the back to catch the droids from behind, while you and Kenobi engaged the main platoon. It was going well - even perfect, you and Kenobi working seamlessly together, able to read each others minds, know the others thoughts without ever having to look at each other. It had been that way since he found you on Corellia, a teenager with a strong connection to the force and an attitude to boot. He trained you - in spite of everyone who told him you were a lost cause, showed you the ways of the Force and watched you grow into one of the best Jedi in the Republic - you were part of the reason he took a chance on Anakin.

Either way, no matter how well you knew each other, you never could have expected what happened next.

Breaking the droid lines, you breached their hold. This was the main prize, for it contained the systems that held hundreds of documents detailing the battle regiments of the droids entire army, including exact numbers, weaponry and AT-AT deployments. What neither of you knew was that they had one last surprise set up.

As Obi-Wan entered the hold, you could both feel something was off immediately. You told him as much, and said you should wait for Anakin and Ahsoka to arrive so you could go in together and scan for entities. Obi Wan was convinced there was no time, the droids already beginning to regroup outside the hold. He wasn’t wrong, you could feel them caging you in, but he had always taught you to be patient; to clear your mind before rushing into battle. The role reversal threw you off guard as he pushed forward into the hold.

You still felt uneasy, but you didn’t argue and stepped inside with him. It was huge, monotone walls shutting you into a sphere shaped room, two steel doors that shuttering behind you. As Obi-Wan took one more step, you both heard the click at the same time, heads snapping to find each other’s eyes, and you didn’t even think before you reacted.

Obi-Wan turned and threw himself at you before you even got a glimpse of the explosive. Within seconds you knew he would be blown to pieces, but his body would shield the blast from you and the board of computers behind you, which contained the information the entire mission was hinged on. Time stood still. This is what is was to be a Jedi - to sacrifice yourself for the greater good, the bigger cause, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Obi-Wan looked down at you, and his eyes were so piercing - so satisfied in his decision to die so that you will live, and you felt him through the Force, a warm longing drifting into your heart. You knew what he was saying; all the words you could never speak out loud, the thoughts you were too afraid to have in fear he would reject them. It was his final goodbye - and you couldn’t take it.

You threw out your hand, finding the explosive through the Force and flinging it behind you, right behind the computers main frame. The blast went off a split second later, shattering the entire set up and motherboard. The information would be gone, a shimmering snow of computer parts and wires falling around you. All you could focus on, though, was how Obi-Wans’ hand had come up to cup the side of your face, and how warm his skin was against your cheek, the failure of the mission worth every second of contact.

“You saved me.” He had said, voice a whisper under the still falling pieces of the destructed technology. You just nodded, and he didn’t move from on top of you, reminding you how it would have been the other way around had you acted half a second later, and he would have been dead.

His eyes were filled with an emotion you have seen a few times before, but you don’t know what it is. You only know that when he looks at you like that, your heart beat shoots into your throat, and every feeling you tried to lock away when you became a Jedi fights its way back to the surface.

Once Anakin and Ahsoka arrived, they found you both in amongst the rubble, and it wasn’t until the shock had surpassed that you realised you were both all cut up from the debris. They brought you back to the main base, and you weren’t thinking straight, immediately spilling about how you sustained these injuries. You put Obi-Wans life above the Jedi cause, and even though you knew you would get in trouble for it, you couldn’t hide from the truth.

What you hadn’t expected was Obi-Wans complete silence. He hadn’t spoken to you since you arrived back to base, and you were sure he was just preparing for the council meeting where he would back you, abide by your decision, or at the very least say something. He didn’t. Anakin and Ahsoka tried their best to influence the council, but neither of them held the power to do much. Anakin was still not yet a Master Jedi, and Ahsoka; although she had the attitude of one, was not yet a general.

So now you were marching back to your room, empty halls of the ship seeming colder and colder the further you get from Obi-Wan. You knew what you did betrayed the sacred oath you made the day you put on your Jedi robes. Jedi did not make emotional connections, the order had to be put first, and the good of the galaxy depended on it. You knew you risked countless lives by losing that critical information, and you knew you would be reprimanded.

You didn’t regret it though.

You were always a rule breaker, a little bit of a rebel in regards to the orders strict guidelines on that kind of behaviour - how were you to truly care about the galaxy if you had no one in it to protect? It was human nature to form connections - and practically impossible not to care in the case of Obi-Wan’s life. Did they expect you not to attempt to save him, even when there was a way to do so?

Obi-Wan was one of the many times you broke the rules. You were infatuated with him ever since you met him - he was significantly older than you, yes, although not by so much it would be deemed inappropriate. You were both adults, so it was more your occupations that kept you from admitting your feelings. He found you on Corellia, sacrificed his time and patience to mould you into the perfect fighter, fought for your right to train beside the Jedi even with your training being so late. He stuck up for you your entire life, and it made his silence that much more painful.

You finally trudged through the ship far enough to find your room, and as you go to enter, you feel two familiar figures come up behind you, and a female voice calls your name.

“We were waiting outside, but they made us leave after they called the session.” Ahsoka says, and she reaches out to hold your arm, careful to miss the bandage holding you together.

“It’s fine. Nothing happened we didn’t already know would happen.” You knew they would remove your titles - take away your leadership of your battlement. It was a glorified way of grounding you, sending you to your room as if you were a child.

“What of Obi-Wan? There has to be a way to change their mind. He has to be trying.” Anakin says, shaking his head. Him and his master have always gotten along, and their bond is one that rivals brothers, but you know Anakin takes after you in the attitude department, so as he paces up and down the corridor, you know he’s as pissed as you.

“What of him? He couldn’t even look at me. I don’t think he even blinked the entire session.” You scoff, and even Ahsoka shakes her head, more confused than angry.

“He’s going to have to speak up sometime.” Ahsoka says, and releases your arm.

“He will if I have anything to say about it. Padmè will talk to the council about the diplomatic influence, she’s already speaking to the other generals. We will have you back out there in no time.” Anakin’s eyes are fiery, and you smile at the man who was once a boy, small and unsure now so confident and clear.

“If he wanted to, he would of. Thank you, both of you for your help, but I’m just going to have to ride this one out. There’s nothing I can do about it now.” Both of them look at you with the same sympathetic frown, and you would laugh at how similar they are if you weren’t feeling so defeated.

“For what it’s worth, I would have done the same thing.” Anakin says, and he steps forward. You know he’s talking about Padmè, and you nod, a mutual understanding of the conflicting emotions of the Jedi way. They both turn to leave, and you can hear the hushed conversation of their plan as they round the corner.

You enter your room and fall onto the bed, the air rushing out as soon as your head hits the pillow. The past few days have been entirely exhausting, and you weren’t just thinking about the cuts and bruises that now littered your skin. This little incident has forced you to really own up to your feelings towards Obi-Wan. The way you felt when you were faced with the possibility of him dying tore you to shreds, and the strength of those emotions were impossible to draw up to just an admiration of a friend, or a small crush born of gratitude. You were in love with him, and you had been for a while. You knew it was wrong and you wanted to fight it, fight the feeling you drowned in whenever he was in the room, whenever he smiled at you or pulled you away to talk about battle plans, knowing no one else would understand the way he thinks but you.

It also forced you to think about how he may feel about you. He reacted so quickly, throwing himself on top of you when the explosive dropped, and the look in his eye told you he wouldn’t of regretted dying for you. His Force - the energy you knew so well felt different - like he was reaching into your body and touching everything inside you, giving you no option but to yield to him. The intensity of it - it was nothing you had ever felt before.

It made it hard to breathe, thinking about that. Would he have ever felt the same? He was one of the most accomplished Jedi in the galaxy, surely there was no way he would return those feelings, right?

It was impossible - you and him, for so many reasons, the main one being how you were now banned from fighting, banned from council meetings and practically shunned from the Republic just for presenting the idea that he meant more to you than you let on. One mistake, you said to yourself, but you weren’t entirely sure it was a mistake.

Your eyes began to close, and even with everything in your life being pulled apart, you can’t help but drift off. Your energy is drained, and maybe that’s why after you fall into a deep sleep, you don’t feel Obi-Wan’s presence at your door before he knocks, softly, almost as if he doesn’t want you to hear it.

You know its him as soon as you open your eyes, able to recognise his energy anywhere, but when he says your name, you throw the blanket off and move to open the door.

Dull lights from the hallway don’t show you any emotions on his face. It has to be the middle of the night. His hair is out of place and he looks so unlike himself. He is almost always put together, in his robes and armed with his lightsaber, but he stands in front of you in just a few layers and no weapon to be seen.

“Wh- What are you doing?” He shifts his weight onto the other leg and finally looks at you.

“I needed to see you. The council held me all day. May I?” He motions to behind you. Was he asking to come in to your room, at three in the morning? After what has just happened?

“I don’t know if thats a good idea, considering.” Your voice is small. The truth is that you do want him to come in, more than you’ve wanted anything. To have him in close quarters, all to yourself - it’s what you’ve wanted for years, and you hate that you have to sound even slightly hesitant.

“If you don’t want to see me, I understand. I’ll go.” He steps backwards and your hand shoots forward to grab the wrist of his robe before you can think.

“No! I do.” Damn, you folded fast under those puppy dog eyes he was giving you. You step out, looking left and right. The hallway is completely empty, and you dont have long before the skeleton crew of night guards come back through on their rotation. “Come.”

He moves swiftly past you and closes the door behind him, you going to sit on the edge of your bed. You sigh, trying to get a hold of the swirling array of emotion twisting in your stomach. It felt similar to wanting to puke. On one hand you want to scream at him, demand him to answer for the way he acted, or rather didn’t act in the council meeting.

On the other, you want to take advantage of this time. You have already lost the one thing that kept you from admitting your feelings to him, what more could you lose? You don’t get a chance to decide, because he speaks first, standing in front of you.

“I wanted to apologise. The way that I behaved today - it was cowardly. I should have spoken sooner.” You were nodding, but when he says sooner you look up at him and tilt your head. “When the council dismissed you, I felt the true consequence of my actions. I ordered a reconsideration.”

That makes your eyes widen a little. The thought of the Obi-Wan Kenobi arguing with the entire council on your behalf makes the heat in your cheeks heavier, and you look away, hoping he can’t sense it.

“A reconsideration?” You repeat, and he nods.

“Yes. I was afraid I may of found my bearings too late, but I explained how your actions were only fuelled by your respect for me, and that you would have done the same for any council member had they been in my place. I know how much you respect the order and your superiors, and I told them as much. We have a… unique connection, something other people might not completely comprehend. I explained as best I could.” You blink, trying to take in every word, but you are stuck on the first part. Your actions weren’t fuelled by respect. Your heart acted before your mind did, and he had just lied to the council for you, because he knew it too.

“I find it hard to imagine you had anything to say, considering you stayed so silent during the three hours of my own hearing.” Anger bubbles up your chest at his dismissing statement, and he rubs his hands over his face.

“I apologise. I was - not in the right mind to speak. I was afraid I would only make the situation worse.” His voice shakes slightly as he stops talking.

“So, you lied.”

“I did not lie. You deserve your place, on the battle field and on that council one day. I will not let this incident ruin your career. Not over something like this.” The unsaid words hang in the air, thick as smoke.

Not over me.

“You did lie. You told them I did it out of respect.” You can’t look at him, nerves starting to break up that anger you felt as his voice gets softer. He says your name again, and you take a deep breath, preparing yourself for his response.

“I also told them about what I did. You are not the only one who acted on instinct. I was unprepared; arrogant even. I should have listened to you.” You scoff and shake your head. “Tell me how I can make this right.”

“Look, whats done is done. Thank you for speaking in my favour, but the council has made up their minds.” Defeated, and convinced you weren’t going to hear what you so desperately wanted to hear, you move further away from him on the bed and let your back rest against the wall. He was quiet for a moment, letting you sigh and sink into the wall. Maybe he thought you were going to continue - he seemed to be anticipating something. After a while, though, he starts to fidget and shifts his weight to the other side again.

“I know you have more to say to me. Argue with me; yell at me, if you must. Just speak to me.” He finally speaks. You dont remember ever seeing him this unsteady. You sigh again and find his eyes, already looking at you, pleading.

“You threw yourself at me. You would have died today if I hadn’t thrown that explosive. Do you really expect me to believe you also did that out of respect for the Jedi?” His face doesn’t change, he doesn’t even move. “Because I didn’t. I didn’t think about the Jedi, or the information on those computers. I wasn’t even thinking about myself. I thought of you. I wanted to save you.” The confession sheds a weight of your shoulders you didn’t even know you were carrying, and your mouth is suddenly dry as Obi-Wan continues to stare at you. He goes to speak and his voice cracks, so he swallows hard and tries again.

“I wanted to save you too.” You think you stopped breathing. “If you had gone in first, you would have.... It would have been my fault. I couldn’t bare it; to lose you would destroy everything.” Your eyebrows furrow together and you slide off the bed, standing only a few steps from him.

“Destroy your plan to get me on the council?”

“It would destroy me.” You see it beginning to crack; the fragile glass ceiling that kept your deepest secrets below. You suck in a breath as his voice cracks and he keeps talking somehow. “What you said, about lying to the council. You are right. You know I respect you as a general, and I want all those things I spoke about for you. I want to provide that for you. To think you would lose that because of me - it couldn’t happen.”

It couldn’t happen.

This, the heat swirling in between you in the dimly lit room, it couldn’t happen. It would mean the destruction of both of your lives, and you knew that. You never expected him to say any of this in front of the council, but a small part of you dared to hope he would say it to you.

“I understand.” Your head drops, and you see his hand rise up, and a finger coming underneath your chin. Your breath hitches as he gently brings your face back up to his, the warmth of his skin a welcomed return. This was it. The crossing of the invisible line. It felt so much easier to do now that you were here. You resist the urge to press into his touch.

“I lied to the council, but I am not sure how much longer I can lie to myself.” His eyes search yours for any sign of confusion, or resentment, or anything other than the heavy longing that has been building over years and years of close proximity. However, its you who hesitates this time, although you dont pull away.

“Obi, this - I won’t let you risk your position for this. Mine is already at threat, we can’t - I know what the order means to you. I couldn’t - ”

“Had you said the words, I would have left the Jedi Order.” Your heart flutters and your stomach drops. Left? “I nearly lost you yesterday and I - I don’t know what to do. How can I continue on this path when I feel this way? The one thing that feels right - how can it be viewed as so wrong?” You step towards him this time, wanting to be closer.

“You mean you-”

“When I threw myself over you yesterday, it was because I couldn’t imagine living in this galaxy if you were not by my side. You are the only thing worth more than this. Any of this. I want - truely, I want to serve the republic - the planets, bring aid and peace where I can and protect those who cannot fend for themselves. It is all I’ve wanted my entire life. I never knew I could- that I would want anything else- until I met you.” You bring your hand to cover his own on your face, and he closes his eyes when your hands thread together.

“You won’t have to leave this behind. I swear. I’ll talk to the council, admit it was my fault. We can figure this out, together.” You can’t compute his confession, not yet, not when he’s going down this road of throwing everything he’s worked for out the vat - for you.

“You will do no such thing.” Your face is screwed up with worry and your anxiety of the danger of confessing your feelings is creeping up, but you feel his energy mixing with your own, and he is so calm and steady it makes your hands stop shaking.

“I care for you, too. A little too much, I think.” He smiles for the first time in days, absorbing the heat of your words and letting them sink into his skin. “We- we just need time. We can figure this out. Let this whole thing settle down first.” You nod at your own plan and hold his hand tighter to your face, not wanting the contact to end.

“Whatever you want, I will make sure of it. I will not silence myself again, I swear it.” You smile this time, and his thumb comes to run over your bottom lip. His eyes widen with the contact, as if he’s surprised by his own actions.

“I know why you did now. You didn’t want them to think it was true. Because you already knew how I felt about you, didn’t you?” You smile a little and he mirrors it.

“You were never all that proficient at hiding how you feel. It took everything in me to cover your anger during the session.” You think of how he was so concentrated, looking almost in pain as he watched you in silence. “But yes, I have known of your feelings for a while, although I wasn’t sure if they were aimed at me.” You step forward again, and you can feel his chest against yours, robes brushing your bare arms.

“How long?”

“A few months. My own - affections, however, have been stirring for quite longer, if I am honest with myself.” He almost sounds ashamed, and you want to punch every single council member for making him feel that way.

“If it makes you feel better, I have definitely had a crush on you for longer than that.” He breaths out a laugh, and you feel it on your cheeks.

“Is that so?” You loved this side of him, teasing and lighthearted. It was rarer these days, but it made you feel warm inside that he let you see it.

“Don’t let it go to your head.” You roll your eyes and grin at him, and he closes the distance between you. He doesn’t kiss you, but he’s close enough that if you stuck your chin out just a fraction, your lips would touch. Your legs feel like jelly and you are sure he can feel how nervous you are through the energy you must be putting out, but you never hide it. Not from him. You hear him swallow, and you keep your eyes closed.

Just in case.

“I don’t know what this is.” He says, his honesty making you feel a lot more at ease. Neither of you have any idea how to play this, of what is too far. All you know is how badly you want him to kiss you.

“Neither do I.” He nods and leans his forehead to yours. Now all you would have to do is tilt your head, and you could finally feel him against you how you have wanted to all these years. “We can just- go slow. Okay?”

“Slow.” He says and you can feel him sigh, and then he moves. He tilts his head. You stay deadly still, afraid to scare him off. As much as you both are completely inexperienced, you are pretty sure he has less an idea than you do. You were 19 when he found you, and didn’t become a Jedi until two years after, so you had some time to experiment in that department, but from what you know, Obi-Wan has been dedicated since childhood - something you admire about him.

His breathing picks up and his lips brush against yours. He was right there, all you had to do was move. He makes a small sound in the back of his throat and you cant contain yourself anymore. You move your head to capture his mouth in yours.

The kiss is as perfect as any first kiss you could imagine. It was sweet, no tongue, just slow, simple movements as you both explore the feeling of each other. His free hand comes to your hip on instinct, pressing you harder against him. He clearly wasn’t prepared for his own action again, a moan of surprise vibrating against your lips as your bodies come together. You move both of your arms around his neck, one tangling in his messy hair.

As you start to find a rhythm, the hand on your hip gets tighter, needing you to be closer, to touch more of him. You need it too, and as much as you wanted to rip his clothes off right now, your sense of urgency is dulled by the unknown of if this would ever happen again, so you were going to be as slow and explorative as possible.

You swipe your tongue along his bottom lip, and you feel him jolt a little under the movement. It sends warmth through your entire body to know how affected he is by you, and it only makes you want to give him more. You owed everything to him, your entire life, and you wanted to show him just how much you appreciated him.

He opens up to you and you slide into his mouth, the feeling of him moving against you making you moan. The sound mades him tense, and he gets a little more desperate with his movements, kissing you a little harder and walking to back you up against the bed. You spin and push him back, and his legs give out so he sits on the edge.

He looks up at you, chest heaving. He extends his arms and you take the hint, straddling him and bringing your mouth back to his. Both of his hands stay off your ass, one coming back on your hip, which you think he likes because he can create the tiniest amount of friction between you, the other resting on the small of your back. You keep your arms around his neck and he twists his head a little, inching your hand back up into his hair. You smile a little and oblige him, twisting your fingers through the soft strands.

You start to feel him harden underneath you, but you don’t want to push him. Instead, you just follow the grip on your hip and start to move when he does, grinding against him ever so slightly. He moans instantly, a deep, low sound that vibrates to your bones. You do it again, and he gasps, so you tear your lips away from him to let him breath. His mouth chases yours and you giggle.

“I don’t think I will ever get enough of that.” He murmurs as he kisses your nose. You roll your hips again and his spine straightens, capturing your lips in another kiss. “Or that.”

“So greedy.” He laughs and kisses you again, and you can tell he’s not really sure where to go from here as his grip begins to loosen on your hip. “Have you ever..?”

He shakes his head, and drops his forehead to your chest. You let the tips of your fingers lightly scrape against his scalp and he ‘hmms’ under his breath, enjoying the sensation but also hiding from you.

“Thats okay. We don’t have to do anything. I just want to be with you right now. Whatever that means.” He looks up and kisses you again. You know what this would mean, the final nail in the coffin for him.

Technically, its the emotional connection that the Jedi do not allow. The physical side of things is not forbidden, as long as there is no relationship, although most Jedi observe celibacy as a general rule. You have since you met him, it would have been impossible for you to have one without the other.

The movement of your hips is not the problem for him, though. It’s the fact that you both know there is more here than just a physical attraction. You admitted it. This would be breaking the code.

You only care right now if he does.

“I want- Maker. I want to. This is-“ He talks and cuts himself off by kissing you, never finishing a sentence. You look up and laugh and he just kisses your throat, turning to kiss your neck when you look to the side. You stop laughing when you feel his arms wrap around you tighter and a slight scrape of his teeth against the spot that makes you shiver. He pulls back to look at you, and then does it again, kissing and scraping his teeth, biting experimentally.

You can tell he’s enjoying it, and he spends a while moving himself up and down your neck, finding all the little places that make you gasp and hum.

“Oh, Obi. Shit.” Your head drops to his shoulder and your hips start to move on their own. He keeps kissing your neck, starting to suck and bite in the spot he seems to have deemed his favourite. He moans against your skin, and a small fire in the pit of your stomach sparks and warms your entire body. You pull on his hair again, and his hips buck slightly.

“This is okay?” He says against you and you nod and roll your hips again.

“Yes. Yes.” He continues, and that same shiver goes up your spine.

“You are so soft.” His nose drags along your throat and your mouth drops open.

“Can I- Can I touch you?” You ask desperately and he pulls away from your skin, nudging your head up to find your eyes.

“You want to?” He seems genuinely curious, and you nod. Your hands come to his chest and you slide them up to his shoulders, bringing the two layers of robes off his shoulders slowly, giving him ample time to stop you. He helps to pull them off, and then you bring his hands to your shirt. His eyes widen a little at the thought, but you see him try to regain composure.

“Do you want to?” He grabs the hem of your shirt and fists the material.

“Please.” He breaths out and pulls your shirt over your head slowly, goosebumps appearing where his fingertips brush your skin. When the shirt finally comes off he lets his eyes trail along your now exposed skin, just a small bralette holding you from him. You lean back a little so both of his hands can find your ribs, and they run strong lines up and down your sides.

“So soft.” He repeats and you begin to melt into his lap.

You bring your hands to the hem of his shirt, and he clearly is not as patient as you, his own coming over the top and whipping the shirt over his head. You have seen him without his shirt before, sometimes after training he would tear it off before he disappears into his room and you would get a glimpse of his back, but now you were up close and could look as much as you want.

He was built; bigger than he looks under all those robes, and you run your hands over the hard muscle, wanting to remember the feeling of every inch. He keeps one hand on your rib cage and brings the other to your chin to kiss you again.

“You are beautiful.” He whispers, and your heart sparks at the compliment.

“So are you.” You return and he smiles into the kiss. Your hand finds the hem of his pants, fingertips dancing along the seam and he sucks in a deep breath. “We don’t have to do anything. Tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

“Have you done this? Before.” As much as you want to tell him no if only to make him relax, you can’t lie to him. You nod your head.

“Not for a while. Not since I met you.” This sparks something in his eye, and you would never have picked him for a possessive guy, but it seems he likes the idea of him being the reason you haven’t.

“I have not. I am not sure I know-“

“Anything you do is perfect. Just relax, okay? Let me make you feel good.” He tilts his head as you slide off him, and sits up a little to come with you. You just stop him with your hands on his thighs, and slip your fingers into the waistline of his pants.

You aren’t sure how you manage to be so patient with the way he’s looking at you - eyes wide and bottom lip between his teeth, but you wait. Wait for him to say stop, or to bring you back into his lap and change the direction. He does neither, and you pull ever so slightly, revealing skin you’ve never seen before. You tilt your head up at him and he just nods repeatedly, moving his hips in a silent plea.

“Oh, Maker. What do I d-” With another deep breath, his eyes flutter closed and then back open, trying to figure out if he wants to watch or just feel you. You slide his pants down a little more and you can see how hard he is already. You look up at him again, and he’s staring so intently that you feel he would have said something if he wanted you to stop. His energy is warm around you, like nothing you’ve ever felt and it is full of curiosity and heat. You pull his pants down past his knees.

Sliding in between his legs you bring your face closer to his length, and your breath is hot against his skin. His pants drop to his ankles and he quickly kicks them off.

You start slow, placing a kiss to the inside of his thigh, and his hips jolt in response. You laugh breathlessly, and decide there will be plenty of time to tease him later.

You were going to make this so good for him that he will never be able to think of anything else when he looks at you.

You start at his head, kissing him gently. Then, finding his eyes you lick a long stripe up him from base to tip. He strangles a moan, and his eyes never leave you as you take the tip of him into your mouth and suck gently.

“I-oh maker. Fuck.” You can see the way every part of his body relaxes under your manipulation, and a rush of heat floods your body. Something about Obi-Wan swearing, coming undone because of you makes your own arousal begin to grow, but you try to focus all your energy on him. You stay there for a while, gently sucking and letting your tongue swipe over him, enjoying the little moans he makes every time you do so.

When your sure he’s relaxed, you look up at him again and spit, bringing your hand up to coat his length, making it as wet as you can. His eyes roll back at the image, and every time your hand works him his hips buck to meet you.

You take him into your mouth and hollow your cheeks, letting him fuck your face as much as he wants. He was acting off pure instinct, it’s still slow and a little uncertain but he starts to go a little deeper when he feels you moan around his length, a wordless plea for him to take what he needs. A hand finds your hair, not to push you down but just to hold, a reminder of where he is. The other arm supports his weight as he no longer holds himself up, and you pull off of him after a few strokes, saliva coating your mouth.

“How does it feel?” His eyes are squeezed shut and his abs are flexing so hard he almost looks like he’s in pain. You don’t know why it didn’t occur to you before, but he’s probably also never had an orgasm. It makes you want to work even harder, make him feel even better, so you take him back inside your mouth before he answers.

“So go-ah! So good. Stars- You feel so good. How are you so good?” He’s completely lost in his own pleasure and it makes you feel all tingly in your stomach. You try to keep your eyes on him and work him faster, grip him harder as you push to get him over the edge. You keep pumping him in your hand as your mouth comes off him to catch your breath for a second.

“I can make you feel so much better.” You take him back into your mouth, and the sounds of him inside of you are only muffled by how loud he is, moaning your name and strangled cries every time he hits the back of your throat. Small tears start to form in your eyes but you keep going, every sound he makes only making you feel hotter. You can feel him everywhere - and when you start to take him as deep as you can, he hits the back of your throat once and he shudders.

“Wait! St-stop. Wait.” Immediately you pull off him, and you can see how fucking close he was, the tip of him leaking pre cum and his entire body shaking.

“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” He nods, trying to catch his breath. You wipe your mouth with your thumb, and slip it into your mouth wanting to savour the taste of him.

“Something feels - strange. I don’t know wh-” He’s breathing so hard it takes him a moment to get the words out in a way you understand - but you know. You know exactly what he’s going to say, and save him from his clear embarrassment when you lean up to whisper on his ear.

“Good strange? Or bad?”

“I can’t- good. Overwhelming; I can’t feel a-anything else.” He sounds a little worried, but the pleasure is evident in how he drags out his words. He’s worried because he can’t feel the familiar safety of the Force when his mind goes blank.

“It’s- it’s okay. I promise. Relax, okay? I’m right there with you.” He nods rapidly and even though he’s noticeably a little nervous his body scoots further off the edge, closer to your mouth. You smile and lean in, and he instantly falls right back into his building orgasm.

You work him hard and fast, swirling your tongue and taking him as deep as you can. He gets louder as you get quicker, and you can’t help but moan around him as he thrusts into you with less composure.

“Hol- yes, that’s- right there oh gods-“ His entire body shakes as he cums in your mouth. His orgasm takes all the strength in his body and he falls back, arm giving out as he flops onto the bed. He says your name over and over and it’s like it hits him in waves, you just keep pumping him into your mouth and taking whatever he gives you. His abs are flexing every time you take him into the back of your throat and the slight reaction as he stops moaning your name makes you slow down.

His hand comes over his abdomen and you watch as he begins to come back to his body, the rise and fall of his chest becoming a little more even as you slide him out of your mouth.

“Come here.” He says, his voice so low and thick that you move faster than you thought possible. You come up next to him, and gasp as his hands find your wrists and he pins you against the bed, both of you vertical on the bed and your head perfectly centre on the pillows. He looks over you, completely naked and kisses you deeply, his tongue sliding into your mouth. He was a quick learner. The taste of him is still on your tongue, and the mixture of his mouth makes your head spin.

“Was that okay?” You ask under him and he presses a short kiss to your lips and then laughs.

“You are joking, right? That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt.” You blush at the way he looks at you, completely enamoured. “I want to make you feel like that.” You freeze and all the blood in your body rushed to your core. A look of determination you’ve seen from training covers his expression.

“You don’t have to, don’t feel like ob-“

“Let me make you feel good.” He purrs your words from earlier in your ear and your eyes flutter closed as he pulls your pants down your legs. He leaves your underpants on, and shifts so his body is between your legs. He hangs above you, and the way his eyes drop down to your underwear and slowly work their way back up to your face makes you feel hot all over. He stays like that, above you as he does something you can only describe as admiring you.

One of his hands brushes over your stomach, fingers tracing aimless lines along your skin. You try to stay as still as possible, but the way he looks at you, how he runs his hands so so close to the hem of your underwear, and then slide away to explore somewhere else. It isn’t long until your squirming underneath him.

“Please, Obi-Wan.” He blinks a couple times, focusing back on what he was doing.

“Sorry. Your beautiful.” He leans down to press a kiss to your stomach, and then copies what you did to him, moving down your body, kissing your thighs and it making your back arch. “Show me.”

“Wh-what do you want to do?” He looks up at you and, after seeing you smile at him encouragingly, slowly drags your underpants down your legs, making sure his fingertips touch all the exposed skin they can on the way. Then he lays down between your legs, and looks up at you, awaiting instruction. “Fuck. O-okay.”

You open your legs a little more and let your hand tangle in his hair. He leans into that touch, and he ‘hmms’ again as you run your fingertips through it. He kisses your thighs again, and his tongue darts out to lick the skin there a little bit. You realise he’s still waiting.

“Just- anything. Please touch me.”

“Hmm. You never were a good teacher.” Your jaw drops open and you laugh without making a sound, way too distracted with how sexy he looks between your legs.

“Give me your hand.” He does as you ask, and you run his hand down over your stomach. His hands are softer than you thought, and when you bring one of his fingers over your clit, you let out a long moan of his name.

You show him how you would touch yourself, but somehow it feels a hundred times better with his hand. He follows your motions and you let go, fisting the blankets as he copies you. It takes him a moment but he never takes his eyes off you, watching as each time he touches you right your body reacts, and faster than you were prepared for he starts to build a perfect pattern.

“Like this?” He applies more pressure and you arch further off the bed. Of course he would be a fast learner. You feel him move closer, his breath hot on your arousal. You nod frantically and moan in a loud, long release. “What about this?”

“Oh fuck! Yes, just like that!” He flicks his tongue over your clit. You don’t remember a time you’ve been this sensitive so fast, but then again you’ve never had someone as incredible as Obi-Wan Kenobi between your legs. He swirls his tongue in the same pattern he was creating with his fingers and the feeling intensifies, your nerve endings buzzing with pleasure.

“Need more. Wanna feel you.” You break out between gasps and he unfortunately takes his expert mouth off you to answer.

“Okay, darling. Show me, okay?” He brings his hand up again and you quickly bring two of his fingers into your mouth and suck on them. He never takes his eyes of you, the image of you sucking his cock earlier surely running through his mind. You run his hand back down and guide them to your entrance and he slides them into you.

“Move them- oh, shit - up. Just a little.” You prop yourself up on your forearms but your head drops back as he curls his fingers inside you, and you practically sob when he does it again while returning his mouth to your clit.

He starts slow, and you are too enveloped in your own pleasure to give him instructions, but it’s like he reads your body. You both work so in sync with each other on the battle field and in meetings, it makes sense he would be able to give you exactly what you were so desperate for without having to speak. He can feel every time he does in the right way, when his tongue and his fingers sync up, and he chases the form every time.

Once he figures out a pattern that makes you squirm he goes faster. The pace makes your eyes roll in the back of your head thinking about how good he makes you, and only you, feel.

“Right there. Oh m-“ He takes your clit into his mouth and sucks. If you thought he was loud, you were definitely louder as you cry out, begging him not to stop.

“So- stars; so pretty.” He says and you can feel the heat of his words on your wetness. “And so wet. For me?”

“Yes. Always for you.” He groans and goes faster and faster, his entire mouth exploring the taste of you while still hitting that spot that makes you cry out.

“So fucking warm. Thought about this - feel perfect.” The lewdness of his words make your legs begin to shake and you can’t see - can’t feel anything but the earth shattering sensation filling every part of your body.

Pleasure builds faster than ever and you can’t prepare for how hard you cum in his mouth. Everything flashes in sparkles of heat and melts your mind until you can’t think - pulling his hair and riding his face through your pleasure.

Your leg muscles were sore already and you manage to open your eyes to see your thighs have seized up around his head, keeping him in place. He doesn’t seem to mind, and although he has taken his fingers out of you his mouth remains, aimlessly tasting you seemingly for his own enjoyment. He has no idea the effect he’s having on you, and his tongue brushes over your clit occasionally, the overstimulation making your lungs burn.

“Oh Maker. Obi please come here.” You say, and your shakey legs drop open from his head. He looks up at you, and takes a final taste of your pussy before crawling up your body, kissing you.

“You taste sweet.” He whispers into your mouth. There’s something about how dirty the words are mixed with how proper and polite he always is that makes your legs shake for a different reason, and you pull him down next to you, curling your body into his.

“You are amazing.” It’s his turn to blush, and you see a little red come across his cheeks in the dim light of the room.

“Hardly in comparison, my love.” Your heart is slamming in your ears. That was your favourite nickname, you think. He brushes the hair out of your face, a finger tucking it behind your ear so he can see you better.

“Can you stay?” He shouldn’t. You know he shouldn’t, because if anyone sees him leaving tomorrow everything you both said at the council meeting will be worthless.

“Of course I will stay. As long as you want me to.” You smile into his neck as you bury your face there.

“I want you all the time.”

“Then I will stay all the time.” You both smile, enjoying the simplicity of this moment, knowing it will not last.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now, okay?” You can sense his worry - and you are relieved you sense no regret like you were so sure he would feel. His muscles relax under your words and he nods, pulling your back against his chest so you can feel his slowing heart beat. Somehow - as if it was possible, you feel more connected to him that before. Your energies were always intertwined, but now it’s like they were fused. You could still tell who was who, and they could be taken apart, but together they formed something greater - stronger; and you knew he could feel it too.

You both fall asleep soon after, knowing tomorrow will bring forward a thousand new challenges, with a million new consequences.

You don’t care.

The world could burn down around you, and you would happily watch it, as long as you could do so in his arms. There will be nothing they can take, nothing they can say that will diminish how you feel, and no Jedi Order could convince either of you that what you felt for each other was wrong.

If anything, it made you stronger, and maybe one day you could prove it to them.

#obi wan x y/n #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan fanfiction #obi wan kenobi #obi wan x you #kenobi x reader #general kenobi #star wars fan fiction #star wars fanfiction #obi wan fic #obi-wan x you #obi-wan x reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan kenobi x you #star wars tv #star wars #obi wan series

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shadow-pixelle · 4 months

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Help the snippet grew legs

I did more snippet. I actually did more snippet checks nearly two weeks ago now, but then things went to pot a bit and I didn't post. Because I am a living disaster.

But yeah the last DCxDP snippet I wrote has grown legs. In fact it has grown so much legs that I know where it starts as well as where it goes from the last snippet onwards for a while.

I don't know how we got from the start to here, but that's not my problem right now.

This however is not the start. This follows up directly from this post from a month ago.

Jason had been on edge since getting back to Gotham. The sort of on edge that made him want to go patrolling Crime Alley, just to make sure everything was alright. Which was ridiculous, because he’d only been gone for a week, and more importantly he was exhausted and patrolling when he was this tired was asking for trouble.

Mostly, he just wanted to go home and sleep, but he needed to head to the Cave to check on some information regarding this case, just to make sure it was closed and stayed closed, so he turned his bike to go and do that first. At the very least it would be quiet there, since it was just late enough in the night that all the Bats would be swarming out on their own patrols.

So of course Babs patched herself into his comms not two minutes after returning.

“Hood.”

“Hey, O.” He said, because he couldn’t really be mad at her for any length of time. And it wasn’t like it was her fault he was on edge right now. “What’s up?”

“Are you heading to the Cave?”

“Yeeesss...?” Jason frowned slightly, leaning forward. “Why, is something wrong?”

“No, just need to warn you, we’ve got visitors.”

Jason jerked in surprise, then swore as he regained control of his bike. He pulled to a stop so that Babs wouldn’t lambast him about it, before replying. “Visitors?”

“Red Robin made some friends while you were gone.” She told him, with an odd tone in her voice. “They’re doing something involving the Lazarus Pits.”

Jason went cold. “They’re- what?”

“The Pits.” She repeated. “They- Hood, we don’t know anything about them. But Red Robin says they’re trustworthy, and yes we checked for mind control and things. There’s nothing. But they know more about the Pits than anyone we’ve ever met.”

Jason laughed, strangled. “What, really?”

“Really. I think they might know more than Ra’s does.” Babs sounded nervous, he realised with another cold flush, and he started his bike again and pushed off.

“That’s not suspicious at all.”

“No, it isn’t.” Babs sighed. “But Red trusts them, for some reason, enough to bring them to the Cave for whatever project they’re working on. The others are there too, he’s not alone, and we’re keeping an eye on things, but…”

“Yeah.” Jason knew. They were Bats, paranoia was in their nature. The fact that none of the Bats that had come into contact with these unknowns seemed bothered at all was… intensely concerning. “You want me to take a look or avoid it?”

“...You can come by, if you want. I’m watching remotely in case we need a League alert or something, but…”

“I hear you.” He sighed. “Who’re we dealing with?”

“They all look to be about mid-twenties. The main guy calls himself Phantom. The other two defer to him on just about everything, so he’s definitely the boss. No real description, he’s not human and only sometimes has a human shape. Fairly middling height and frail-looking when they do, white hair and glowing green eyes. Most the time he’s wearing a sort of hazmat suit of some kind, but that shifts sometimes. When he’s not human it’s pretty much impossible to describe him, but I guess the best way to put it is that he looks like space.” Babs immediately filled in.

“The other two seem to be some kind of subordinates. The man goes by Duulaman, he seems to be a mix of tech guy and magic. Phantom also seems to know his way around technology pretty well, hardware while Duulaman does software. His magic is Egyptian themed for the most part, and seems linked to his technological ability otherwise. Fairly tall, dark skin and blue eyes with a green shimmer, black hair. He wears glasses but I’m not convinced that they’re actually necessary rather than being some kind of device for either his magic or technology. Also, we can’t hack him.”

“What, at all?”

“Admittedly I’ve not tried too hard, I don’t want to make them hostile if they’re not going to be, but I think he uses his magic to amplify what his technology does. Just what little I’ve seen is incredible.”

“Huh.” Also concerning, but in a different way. Though if Babs wasn’t trying too hard then it might just be that Duulaman’s tech seemed harder to deal with than it is. “And the third?”

“A woman, Caucasian with black hair and mostly violet eyes. Little bit of a green shine there, too. She’s the tallest of the lot of them, pretty thin but not as frail-looking as Phantom. Not sure of much more about her, she doesn’t seem to have the same sort of technological abilities as the other two and she’s mostly been standing to the side like a guard or acting as an extra pair of hands whenever either of the males need something. Name seems to be Belladonna, but both males have been giving her a few different plant-related nicknames, so I’m not certain which one’s real.”

“Great.” He sighed again. “Don’t suppose there’s any way to get an idea of that?”

“Not likely. Other possible names are Nightshade, Overgrowth, Foxglove, Yew, and Daffodil.”

“Daffodil?” That didn’t quite fit the theme, though the fact that the woman had a theme of poisonous plants was concerning. Then again, neither did Overgrowth.

“Daffodils are poisonous, apparently.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

Babs went quiet for a while after that, letting Jason drive, and only spoke up again when he reached the entrance to the Cave.

“Be careful, Hood.”

“Always am, O.” He replied, slightly nervous despite himself. A part of him wanted to just run back to Crime Alley and go to bed, not deal with whatever disaster Tim had apparently brought into the family trying to study fucking Lazarus Pits, somehow. He just… didn’t want to deal with this.

But he had to, because if there was any chance the other Bats were under some kind of subtle mind control, they needed someone outside to go and take a look, and with Jason knowing about it ahead of time, there’d at least be a chance for Babs to call in the League if she saw a change.

The Cave was surprisingly quiet when he entered, though in a way Jason wasn’t surprised. The place was practically made to amplify certain sounds, and his bike roaring in was definitely one of them. Plus there was the fact that there were three unknowns in the Cave, so no-one was going to be talking about anything private or secret. Still, it was disconcerting to enter the Cave when it was so quiet, with none of the others calling out a greeting and no sounds of sparring on the mats. It just felt wrong, and Jason felt a chill run down his spine even as he stopped his bike and headed further in.

The chill only got worse when he saw the group. Most of the Bats were just hovering around the Cave, doing nothing in particular and obviously only there to keep an eye on the unknowns. Red Robin was the only one over by the workbench that had obviously been hurriedly pulled together from about four other smaller workbenches, leaning over it with his back to Hood. One of the strangers was with him, and Hood could suddenly understand why Oracle had said Phantom was difficult to describe. For the most part, he definitely looked like Oracle had said, a black hazmat-like outfit and white hair. Given the way he was leaning over the table next to Red Robin, it was hard to see much of him, but he did look fairly frail.

Except when Hood blinked, the man suddenly looked… well. Not human. At all. He could see what she meant by looking like space, because he just… cracked. Like a swirling void full of stars.

Then Hood blinked again, and he was back to normal, and all three strangers were straightening. The woman, maybe-Belladonna, looked up first from where she was hovering- not literally, unlike Phantom, who Hood now realised was literally floating at Red Robin’s side- behind Duulaman, met Hood’s eyes despite the helmet, and paled sharply. Duulaman looked up next, and both their eyes flashed a bright green- a toxic green, one only a few shades off being very familiar- before both swore sharply.

That was when Phantom turned around.

Hood froze. Not just from the sudden chill, fear biting down his spine in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time, but from the look. Something about Phantom seemed familiar, in a dangerous way. Floating slightly in the air, white hair waving like it was caught in an invisible breeze, and eyes shining a just as brilliant green as the other two but solid rather than mixed into their apparently-original colours. The being- because he wasn’t a human, no matter what he looked like most of the time and no matter what the other Bats thought, that wasn’t a meta or even an alien, he was something else- stared at him, a hazy mist of breath clouding in front of him, eyes wide.

There was a crackle of something like electricity and machinery starting, and Phantom disappeared. Hood suddenly felt like he could breathe again.

“Oh Ancients.” Duulaman murmured, looking pale. He was still staring at Hood, as was Belladonna, both of them looking horrified.

“Phantom?” Belladonna called, eyes darting upwards for a moment before returning to stare at Hood.

Slightly uncomfortable with the attention now, Hood looked up.

The Cave roof had been replaced with a starry sky. Based on… everything else about this situation, that was probably Phantom.

The electrical sound came again, somehow sounding apologetic and Hood had no idea how a noise like that could sound like that, and Duulaman sighed. “English, Phantom. Or at least something living, please.”

“Sorry.” The mass of space on the roof said, with an undertone of electricity and ice. “Just… Ancients.”

Belladonna laughed, a small, horrified sound. “You’ve got that right.”

“What happened to you?” Duulaman asked, and out of the corner of his eye Hood saw the rest of the Bats stiffen.

His focus was on the mass on the roof, though, which slowly crept down- like some demented dripping tap of space, Hood thought hysterically- to settle between Duulaman and Belladonna in a mind-twistingly strange blob.

The shape shimmered, and Phantom’s human form appeared, the space-blob folding away like it had never been there. He looked at Hood again, then winced and deliberately turned his head to focus on Duulaman as he leaned into his side. Light flickered again, and then-

Phantom shifted.

White hair swapped to black, the strange hazmat suit disappeared in favour of jeans and a long sleeved shirt- which looked immensely out of place compared to his… partners? Underlings? Outfits; Belladonna had a dramatic black dress lined with vines and pale flowers, and Duulaman leaned into the Egyptian theme with an outfit like a pharaoh. Compared to them, Phantom looked incredibly normal. Like a regular guy in his mid-twenties.

He looked over at Hood again, eyes now blue with only a faint green shine, and Hood shivered. No matter that he looked normal, something about the being still screamed unnatural.

“Phantom?” Both his partners asked, sounding surprised.

“Sorry.” He said, in a raspy voice. “It’s- easier, this way. Kidnapping isn’t exactly a good idea right now.”

“Kidnapping?!” Several of the Bats chorused, and Hood saw Batman stiffen ready to lunge.

Hood just couldn’t stop staring.

He was aware, faintly, of the conversation going on around him. More than aware, really; he was a Bat by training, he didn’t just… tune out of important conversations. Everything that was being said was being catalogued for later, held in the back of his head for evaluation once he had time. But at the same time, it was just… difficult. As much as he was aware of the conversation, he wasn’t really listening. A part of him just… couldn’t stop watching the three. Even as Phantom very deliberately looked away from Jason, almost like he couldn’t bare to look at him. As Duulaman put his hand on Phantom’s shoulder and Belladonna leaned into his side like they were anchoring him, while neither of them looked his way for more than brief glances that every time warped their faces into grimaces.

He was fully aware that the other Bats were interrogating the three. Something they really should have done long before this, before they brought them to the Cave because they were doing something with Lazarus Pits and knew too much about them. And he was well aware that none of them were making getting the information difficult. They talked easily, like none of it was a secret- and maybe it wasn’t. These Infinite Realms, these ghosts, everything about the Ancients and the halfas that Phantom apparently was, maybe none of it was a secret. Or maybe it was just that none of them cared, because-

Phantom looked him in the eyes for the first time since the start of this whole thing.

“Pariah Dark was a monster, and even he would consider what was done to you unforgivable.”

Jason jolted, pulling away from that horrible chill and the feeling that there was something incredible in front of him- something horrifying, something nightmarish and awful. And he listened, really listened, as Phantom laid out as best as he could what it felt like to look at him. It felt like drowning, almost, and somewhere in the back of his mind past the crystal haze of shock it felt like he was screaming. Jason just listened and stared as the three of them laid out how things felt to them- how he felt to them, and wasn’t that just hilarious, that there was something so deeply wrong with him that even these strange beings, these half-dead and partly dead people, were able to look at him and know immediately that something is wrong here.

He wondered a little if it was like the uncanny valley. If looking at him made these people, who were apparently ghosts or at least close to it, unnerved because there was something wrong here, something not quite correct for what it should be.

Of course he would be fucked up. He was already well aware that the Pit had done terrible things to him. What was one more?

Phantom glanced at him only once more, then focused on Batman.

“So,” he said, in a firm voice obviously used to being obeyed. “I’d quite like to know who did that to him. Because my next step is going to be to call the council, get war declared on them, and then erase them.”

Neither Belladonna or Duulaman objected. In fact they seemed like they agreed, or possibly they just didn’t intend to contradict the person that was their leader.

Jason wasn’t sure. He was still too busy being shocked, lost in a hazy daze of… something. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted too, and all he could do was stare at Bruce as well, waiting to see what was next.

Batman didn’t speak.

He wasn’t sure he was surprised.

The silence stretched, reaching a minute, two. Phantom continued to stare at Batman, who stared back, a firm line in what Jason could see of his mouth. No-one else moved.

Jason took a shuddering breath, and a step back. It was more of a stumble, really, and it broke the holding pattern the rest of the room was in. Eyes snapped to him.

The three- ghosts? Realms beings? Whatever they were- looked directly at him with only a slight wince. Phantom tensed slightly, like he wanted to spring, and both Duulaman and Belladonna did the same in response, hands grasping at their leader as if to keep him in place.

Jason took another trembling breath, and bolted.

Someone- Dick, he thought, but he couldn’t quite tell over the shuddering sounds of his own breaths and heartbeats- shouted after him, but Jason didn’t stop. He just ran, going straight for his bike and leaving.

The chill lingered in the back of his chest the entire time. Jason couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so cold.

He hadn’t even realised he’d been warm, until he saw Phantom. Now there was just the chill, slowly seeping into his bones. He wasn’t even sure that was Phantom’s fault, though.

After all, Bruce had been silent.

Why would Dad tell them who hurt him? It wasn’t like Jason was his son, or anything. It wasn’t like it was only the League, like it was only the Joker, like it wouldn’t deal with so many of their problems without them needing to do anything.

He somehow wasn’t surprised.

So Jason ran.

#dcxdp #fic writing #my writing #random scenes from the abyss #except this au actually might be a Thing now so it's kinda not that #idk it can keep that tag until it figures out what it's doing #danny phantom #sam manson #tucker foley #jason todd #honestly this is probably going to be a really interesting thing to mess around with #i don't know where it's going or where it's coming from #but hey doesn't that just make it more fun?#(no but it does make the writing a lot more disordered)#braided fates au

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kiefbowl · 8 months

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I've been embarrassed so I haven't been blogging about it...but I've been watching himym for the past couple months. but the reason is not because I like it (bease pelieve me I'm crying), but because I find it a fascinating cultural artifact, and I wanted to write a more thorough post on tv and misogyny than the one offs I wrote oh like 2.5 years ago when I watched a couple episodes.

but gyns, I can't get though season 8. I can't do it. I've gotten this far and you might think oh it's just a little further...you can do it but season 8 is straight up hot garbage. truly abysmal. how did anyone hang on. Even though I've been pacing this little project over months to not want to krill myself, season 8 is taking corporeal form and strangling me and laughing about it. It's not even the ~wacky rape jokes~ that are doing me in. I knew that was 80% of the show and the bulk of barney's character. I was prepared. It's not even that jason segal looks weird and seems to be astral projecting himself back to the freaks and geeks set every second he can to take back his life of acting for a quiet career as an accountant to avoid this miserable, god awful job in the future, though he makes every horrible scene he's in just that much horrible because of it. It's because I can't fucking stand to watch robin's life slowly be picked apart for shit by these four loser friends. I just can't do it anymore. The writers HATE ROBIN. They hate her. The main love interest. Of two men. They think she's wrong. They think she's stupid. They think she should be punished. Even though they write her, and center her, and she's the linchpin of this entire stupid fucking show.

And when the writing is this abysmal in season 8, a show that has been sometimes okay, a lot of times mid, many many times already awful, I just can't watch her character be assassinated for the sake of sitcom concepts like "let's host a game show in our apartment to decide our baby's legal guardian in the event of our deaths" or ideas like what if barney picked up a random dog. can't do it. Can't do it!!! this is my essay, I'm deleting all my notes. This show Sucks. I was going to give it a teeeeny bit of credit at the end for some things, but fuck that. Fuck you for writing Robin in episode one so you could gleefully dismember her piece by piece over nine years like some sort of spit pig in service of ted and barney's rape escapades. truly fuck this piece of shit show.

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boundbysand · 7 months

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never so much blood pooled through my veins (scarian)

i'm getting very excited about my overly convoluted and long scarian au so i decided to post a blurb of a part that i wrote! reblogs and any other support are always welcomed <3 fic below the cut!

Grian has had a front row seat to illusions of others' deaths for years. He's grown used to it, come to accept how fleeting his connections with people are due to it, and is relieved to simply still be alive. His world begins to shift when he meets Scar, and subsequently starts realizing the extent of his visions.

cw for violence/light gore (not present here) & derealization (somewhat present here) <;- subject to change/additions

The scarred man is in the store again.

Grian thinks he should be used to it by now, but he isn't. He doesn't know when or if he ever will be.

The man, with a tilted grin and fluffy hair, his skin littered in scars of varying sizes, has been coming into Grian's bookstore multiple times a week for about a month now. He always checks out a different book, oftentimes sitting in the shop to read even though he already paid to take it home. Grian's beginning to wonder how long it'll take him to breeze through the entirety of his inventory.

When Grian first saw him, he could only think that he was annoyingly pretty. He observed the man as he skimmed through titles, lightly running a finger across the spines until he found the one he wanted. He watched the man open the book and flip through the pages until the sight before him changed.

It was quick, ten seconds at most, but Grian watched the man die. He fell into a hole, deep and dark and seemingly unending, and when Grian leaned over the hole to see what happened, he was met with the undeniable view of the void. The man fell to his death into the vacuum of space.

Grian felt his wing twitch, and he was back in the store. The walls lined with books and plush sofas and chairs scattered around were the same as usual. The only difference was the man standing by one of the shelves, but he was there before. He was still alive.

A single shaky inhalation followed by a smooth breath out brought Grian from his daze. It was easy to shake off the visions nowadays. They still stung, and some of them still clung to him during bad nights or in his dreams, but they were commonplace enough for Grian to be able to brush them aside in the moment.

That had been weeks ago. Every time the man has come into the store, Grian has seen him die. It's different every time, never the exact same cause of death, but they all end the same way.

What's odd about this man in particular is that Grian is always somehow involved in his deaths. He sees the man die, and is always moving to stop it before it even happens. His lips form the shape of a name he has yet to be able to remember, his hands reach out in a feeble attempt to help, he feels like he's actually there when he dies.

Grian had long ago become accustomed to feeling like a constant audience to death, but being a participant seems to be exclusive to this man. It's unnerving, quite frankly, and the main reason Grian has yet to make conversation with his most frequent customer.

That, and Grian refuses to make a fool out of himself.

So he decides that he is content just observing, or at least that he has to be content this way. Visions this frequent and abnormal, however slightly, surely can’t mean anything good. Grian has gotten far enough in his life not challenging the rule of his existence or making it worse, and he’d be damned if some random guy with interesting scars changes that.

Unfortunately, Grian has always been a glutton for punishment.

thank you for reading!! i hope you enjoyed and im very grateful if you made it this far :) this is just the very beginning bit of a (seemingly very) lengthy au fic im working on rn in nonlinear order. i give no promises as to when im posting the actual fic, all i can say right now is eventually,,

#yes the title is from a ludo song #yes i slightly altered the lyrics #scarian #hermitshipping #trafficshipping #gtws #grian #my fics #fanfic #tw derealization #castor.exe #never so much blood

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akslz · 7 months

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"You must be an angel"

---- Hello!! this is my first post here so apoligies if its not formatted well. Regardless; here is a mediocre ( orignally written on a03 by me, linked here) story I wrote on a whim, about a broken family put back together once they move to Nockfell after an incident with Knives (our main character) and her mother. She and her brother meet the gang and silliness ensues. AKA a shitty modern day SF fanfic because head full, this is a self-insert character so sorry no y/n. she is loosely based off of me so blah blah ok here backstory time & yes there is homestuck refences and NO I do not care ☹ let me do what I do #autism !! English is a poor language for me so apologies for mistakes!! None of the fanart/ images used are mine, credits to owners!-----

CHAPER 1:

End of the Beginning

what seem like decades ago, Knives lived with her semi put together family in the ever so urban Houston Texas. With her twin brother Vinnie (or Vin) and her eldest brother Silas everything was just peachy. That was until their father had died of heart complications when Knives was just 11.

After that sad excuse of a day the widowed Miki became a pathetic shell of a mother. She lived by her ever empty bottle of wine or shitty canned beer. To the point where she became more of a roommate than a mother. Knives had to do something about this.

She wasn’t going to sit back and watch as her older brother work his senior year of high school away at some mediocre grocery store just so Miki could blow most of his minimal paycheck on alcohol. On April 14th, just days away from knives & Vins’ birthdays, knives decided to confront her mother. Here’s how the interaction went down. (First person pov)

“You crazy bitch who do you think you are?!” you mother slurred as she quickly tried to grab the bottle of wine that you started to pour down the drain.

“Me? Crazy? Please.” You said in a monotone voice as you finished dumping out the bottle and swiftly moved out of the way of your monstrous mothers’ grasp. Your brothers used to go onto the roof when things were easier, they taught you how to fight, or ‘strife’ they called it. You had gotten well at defending yourself over those couple of months. even being able to use your newfound skills against a creep at the mall.

“Please don’t do this, I just want to help you momma I promise!” you said grabbing her hands and looking up into her glazed eyes.

“Let go of me! You brat! I’m an adult and I can do as I want! Do not tell ME what I can and can’t do!” she said as she pushed you forward; causing your smaller body to hit the counter behind you.

As brush your long hair out of your face and you steady yourself you look back to your mother to see her lunge at you. You could never hurt your mother. Not ever. She’s just a little girl who’s distraught over her husband and best friend of 16 years dying. You couldn’t punish her for lashing out. She’s just scared.

You feel warm now, you have a stinging spot on your head so instinctually you went to scratch it. Then comes the pain, it’s almost everywhere; you groggily open your eyes to look at your hand as it feels wet, blood. It was blood. You jolt up, now realizing you’re on the dining room floor. Your full vision slowly comes back, and you’re horrified at the sight. Chunks of your beautiful hair is sprawled around you.

Your hair that held the last memory of your father. You used to crawl into bed with him and your mother in the mornings that you woke up before them. He used to always tuck your hair behind you bejeweled ears and hum you back into a light sleep. You grasp a chunk of the mangled hair and spread it between your fingers. Slowly beginning to cry. The pain on your extremities was nothing compared to this. You just slowly lowered yourself back onto the fake hardwood floor and cried, cried because you didn’t know what else to do.

You wanted nothing but for everything to go back to the way it was. You starred at the entrance to your apartment, watching the very minimal light from the peep hole shine in, casting light on the dust particles in the air. It felt like the world was spinning in slow motion. You were dreading the time Silas and Vin come back from the music store. You cried for what felt like hours. You eventually sat up and noticed the keys to one of the two cars your family had owned was missing. You weakly stood up and hobbled to your mothers’ room, seeing drawers strewn over the already messy room.

“Great. Pansy ass bitch.” You said as your voice cracked. Crying again as you realized your mother had fled.

You didn’t care though as you heard your brothers obnoxiously loud keys jiggle the lock open. You shuffled into the dining room, quickly observing the scene left behind. A broken wine bottle, small spots of blood with of course your white hair scattering the room. You dropped to your knees and touched your head for the first time since you woke up. You began sobbing again. The rest was a haze. You vaguely remember your older brother cupping your head; asking what happened. The only thing you could mutter was ‘’ Momma”. That’s all he needed to hear.

After that it’s a blur. Due to your mothers fleeing and your brother being freshly 19, he gains custody of you and your twin.

CHAPTER 2:

Beginning of the End

~Time skip: 3 years after incident, age:15~

You innocently lean against your bed, plucking mindlessly at your well-loved bass. The vibrations running through your fingers.

“yo“ Vinnie says as he comes into your shared room, pushing up the shades he always adorned and swooping his platinum hair out of his face. You found it funny, you rarely see him without the sunglasses.

“Hey man, did Bro mention anything about what school we’ll be goin’ to after we move?’’ you questioned as you shut off your amplifier and faced him fully. He sat down at his desk and kicked his feet up on the nearby bedpost.

“Yeah, actually he did, it’s near the shithole surprisingly, so we could probably skate to & from the hellhole instead of riding in the bus” He referred to the apartments we planned to live in as the ‘shithole’ because in all honesty, it wasn’t lavish. On the website it looked quite old, but it’ll do for the three of you. The real name of your new crib was ‘Addison Apartments’.

You set your bass down as you glanced at your mostly packed room. The stacks of cardboard boxes occupying most of the free space.

‘’I can’t believe this our last weekend in Texas...” Vinnie sighed and got up to stand next to you as you turned to glance out the window of your Highrise apartment. You’re not going to miss the hustle and bustle of urban Texas; the constant traffic and shouting kept you up frequently. You leaned onto your brother as he comfortingly wrapped an arm around you and sighing.

“I know, it’ll be a nice change though, Nockfell looks chill.” He said rubbing circles onto your arm.

Later on you go into the bathroom to take off your makeup, when your mother defaced you she gladly didn’t do as much damage as you initially thought. Your long hair now was medium length with layers. You honestly loved the change of appearance. You also decided to dye the tips of your hair a dusty rose because you’ve always liked the idea of a colorful head of hair, even if its just a little.

“Finally, I finished packing the moving van with my and my brothers’ shit’’, you thought, never understood why they needed so many electronics, turntables, keypads, electric pianos, they had it all. They sure did love their pop music. You, Knives, on the other hand liked all music types, but you really loved heavy metal. The way that Sanity’s Falls bass shook your head every time you listened to it just make your love for metal grow. You laughed at how ironic it was that your name was Knives, AND you liked heavy music, how metal is a name like that?

Vin stumbled out of the entrance to the apartment building, his headphones sitting heavily on his shoulders as he chucks his skateboard and your roller skates in the back of bros’ pickup. You had all finished getting ready for the drive, you and your twin glances at each other and then to your guardian.

Bro wiped sweat from his forehead and adjusted his pointy shades “Alright y’all let’s get this show on the road, its a long drive so let’s get started. I wanna make it at least halfway by tonight.”

You and Vin were going to drive the pickup while Bro drove the chunky U-Haul. Although you both couldn't legally drive, your brother decided on a whim to teach the both of you a couple months ago so you had a general idea of what you were doing. You were nervous to make the lengthy drive because you had a fear that if you got pulled over that you and your brother would both be sent to juvey.

Regardless, you made the drive. The 48 hour journey was taxing but when you stepped out of the car in Nockfell you realized that this place was way different than Texas and you had no clue what was to come.

After reconnecting with your eldest brother after the long drive you made your way into the lobby as your brothers unlocked the moving van. You realize that there was no receptionist desk only a small mail cubby area. you remembered that Bro mentioned you would be staying in unit 403. So you made your way over to that cubby and you realized that you needed a key to unlock. \

You did not know where to obtain such key so being the genius you are you stuck your smallest fingers' nail into the key slot and tugged & wiggled out a little bit to see if it was unlocked and thankfully it was! you grabbed the few pieces of junk mail that had already gathered and threw them away, then picked up the thin envelope that contained the apartment keys and gently opening it and removing the keys

you made your way to the elevator and hit the button for your floor you jogged quickly to your apartment and unlocked it. You push open the door to see a glum looking room with a green-gray carpet that held a few stains.

You scrunch your nose due to you smelling heavy cleaner and bleach, but at least it was clean, you quickly set down the keys and make your way out leaving the door open so you and your siblings can easily go in and out without having to worry about the door.

After you brought up all the boxes with your name on it and set them in your room you put your hands on your hips, sighing, and glancing around the room. You were excited to finally have your own room away from your brother, but it would be a change because you had been bunking with him since you two were little. Reminiscing about all the times you had spent together was making you feel nostalgic.

Vin and Bro had made a quick run to the grocery store so they could stock up on some essentials for the fridge. You sat down and sliced open one of the cardboard boxes that was labeled “CDs” you were rummaging through it when you heard some mumbling coming from outside your room and heavy footsteps. You were surprised because you thought it would take your brothers a longer time to arrive back home, so you brushed yourself off and pushed the door open.

Your eyes widened in shock when you realize that the two people you heard in your apartment were in fact not your brothers but two strangers. One being a tall male with tanned skin and long brown hair having deep set eyes that carried bags heavier than anything. This person wore a cannibal corpse shirt with a beat-up flannel and gray jeans. The other person that you couldn't assume the gender of had electric blue pigtails hanging from each side of their head & wore red ripped jeans with fishnets underneath, combat boots along with a black crew neck, you also noticed that this person wearing what looked like a mask, you didn't think twice though because a lot of people these days were very expressive. It looks quite cool.

“uh…. hi...” you said sweetly but quietly, slightly hiding behind the door frame because you didn't know if these people were a threat or not. Just in case you reached over to your desk and put your hidden hand on it to feel for the box cutter you had laying on it.

“Oh! Hey man” the tall one with long hair said as he lifted his ringed hand and waved “sorry to intrude like this dude just wanted to give an introduction because we were told that a new tenant would be moving in, I’m Larry, Larry Johnson.” He took a step closer to you holding out his dominant hand for to shake.

“Hi... I’m Knives, yeah me and my brothers just moved here, nice to meet you” you reluctantly grabbed his hand your long nails accidentally brushing against him.

“Knives? Like the utensil? That's a cool ass nickname!” He said smiling noticing the gap in between his two front teeth. It kind of made him look like a Bunny.

“Thank you! But that's my real name.” You said awkwardly smiling leaning your head fully against the door frame of your room.

“Oh, and uh this is my friend Sal, but you can just call him Sally face! It's kind of like his nickname.” Larry said elbowing his shorter friend getting a low toned laugh out of Sal.

So, the mystery person is a guy, good to know. You could tell that you and Ben would get along well with them both.

“So, you said you had brothers, right? Where are they?” The bluenette questioned while stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“They went to the store I think but they should be back soon. How old are you guys?” you questioned. Quickly stuffing the box cutter into the backside waistband of your shorts and quickly tucking your Motley-Crue band shirt over it. You swiftly moved away from the door frame and took a step right outside the door and leaned against the wall, kicking one of your ankles over the other while withholding eye contact with Sal.

"we're both fifteen, how about you?" Larry questioned eyeing you

"same. My twin is fifteen too, His name is Vin, I think you two would get along well. He likes cannibal corpse." you lied straight through your teeth, not knowing why. Vinnie never really liked metal. Hopefully he'll lie as well to cover your white lie. You were never good with people.... safe to say you're nervous for what's to come.

CHAPTER 3:

Every story starts somewhere

Hi hi I somehow forgot to mention that this story is NOT following canon events, i.e. no cult, just some vague paranormal activity !All original characters belong to me, none of the canon characters mentioned are mine and do not have the rights to them!

You had spoken with the two for about 15 minutes before they saw themselves out. After they’d left you had mentally slapped yourself for being so socially inept, Vin and Silas would definitely make fun of you for this one.

“Hey hey Knives! We’re back with some food!” Silas said as he loudly slammed the door with his foot.

“And we bought apple juice! So come get some before I finish it all.” Vinnie barked as you made your way out of your now unpacked room.

“Thanks bro!” you said smiling widely at your older brother as he messed up your hair

The three of you lingered in the kitchen as you unloaded the groceries and unpacked the kitchen essentials.

“Something really weird happened earlier-“you said turning to face them both, you were met with darkened plastic sunglasses awaiting you to continue speaking

“These two guys from the apartments came to introduce themselves, Larry and Sal, surprisingly they were very chill. I kinda lied about you liking cannibal corpse to Larry though vin...” you said sheepishly smiling and covering your face with your hands.

“ Man what the hell why? I don’t dig metal that much” Your twin asked jokingly.

“They were just so… intriguing! I got embarrassed and it just slipped out!”

“Chillax sis its alright, don’t sweat it. So, these guys are what? Hardcore church burners?” Vin said making the demon horn motion with both of his hands.

You and Silas laughed as he obnoxiously headbanged.

“No not really, at least not from what I could tell. They were very nice. I’m pretty sure they go to our school since we’re all the same age. “Vin nodded for you to continue.

“Larry is a tall dude with what I have to say is the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen on a man” you said throwing your hands up in defeat. Both of your brothers scoffing sarcastically.

“Then there’s Sal- “you began to remember the sight of the boy, something about him captivated you. Whether it was his unique hair, His killer style, the tone of his voice…...or the way his hands looked with all those rings on them… and the way you thought they’d look on you…

Girl, what the hell are you thinking?! You just met him? Stop being weird. You seriously needed to stop letting your hormones take control of you like this.

You’d realized your brother was looking at you strangely.

“Hellooooo? Anyone in there?” Vin said waving a hand in front of your face.

“Is she having another episode?” Silas asked, setting down the box he was moving and walking over to you.

“What? Oh sorry, No I’m fine, I just got lost in thought you guys don’t worry” you nervously laughed as they back away from you, relaxing their attention.

“Shit man you really worried me for a second…Anyways continue with what you were telling me about this Sal girl” Vinnie sighed now sitting on the counter across from you.

“Sal is a guy- “you said rolling your eyes “– but anyways. He’s sweet, he has this bright blue hair that’s really dope. He also wears this mask? I’m not sure what its about but it fits him, he has the same style of Larry he’s just a liiitttlllleee short…” you said making a “small” motion with your index and thumb.

“Hey, it’s not like the little guy can control it!” Vinnie said getting off the counter and poking at you.

You and he laughed as you made your way to his room to help him unpack his belongings.

The next day was Saturday. You were making your way down to the lobby with your brother to explore the area when on your way out of the dingy elevator you bumped into someone, accidently knocking something out of their hands.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry!” you apologized quickly kneeling to pick up papers and a purple school folder off the ground.

“It’s okay! I should’ve been looking where I was going” the feminine voice said giggling.

You handed the girl what you assumed was her schoolwork.

“Hey…are you new around here? I’ve never seen you before? And I think I’d remember someone this pretty” the girl said.

This girl was also quite pretty. With long brown hair and piercing green eyes, she wore a long purple shirtdress with purposely torn black tights. Along with a chunky black choker and heavier makeup, you started to really like this girl already.

“Thank you so much! You’re pretty too, and uhm yeah! Me and my brother just moved here recently, My names Knives. This is my brother Vinnie.” You said gesturing to Vinnie who threw up a weak wave to her as he seemed in awe.

“Knives?! That’s so awesome! My name’s Ashley but everyone just calls me Ash. Do you have insta or anything like that? You seem realllyyyy cool and I’d love to get to know you-“she said as she pulled out a lavender iPhone from her sleeve “- but I’m supposed to be tutoring with my friends right now and I’m already late, I’m afraid they’ll think I’m dead if I’m any more late” she said holding her phone out to you.

“Yeah, I do! Also, no problem I understand, you seem pretty chill as well!” you said slightly smiling as you typed your username into the search bar and then clicked on your profile as it came up. You handed Ash her phone back, she waved goodbye and jogged into the elevator.

“she seems nice, It seems like everyone here has awesome hair…” you said looking to Vinnie

“DID SHE FOLLOW YOU YET? LET ME SEE YOUR PHONE NOW, GIVE IT GIVE IT GIVE IT” he said reaching for your phone which was in your hand.

“Jesus man here fine, have a look god!” You laughed handing it to him. Vinnie snatched it out of your hand and flying to Ash’s’ profile.

You looked over his shoulder as he looked through her pictures, she had about 15 posts. Most were landscape but there were some of her and her friends. She was friends with Sal and Larry! That’s convenient! Vinnie swiped through the post of her and the guys on the 4th of July, there was also a pair of boys you hadn’t recognized yet. Safe to say you were excited to meet them both as well.

“Yo are these the guys you were talking about yesterday?” Vinnie said clicking on the profile mention on the picture, pulling up Sals’ account.

“Yeah! That’s cool that they’re friends. Makes me excited to hangout with them.”

Your brother finally handed your phone back after sending Ashley’s account to himself, you internally laughed at how eager he was to swoop this girl off her feet. You somehow made your way back to those pictures of Sal and everyone else on the 4th. You admired Sal, eventually tapping onto his profile, your thumb hovered over the ‘Follow’ button and you hesitated.

What if he thinks I’m a stalker? He didn’t even mention his socials so what if he thinks negatively of me just following him out of the blue? What if-

Then your eyes glance up at the notification you’d just received,

“New follower: @TheOG_SF – Sal Fisher”

CHAPTER 5 (4 was an update on the story):

Why is everything different now?

Heyyyy, finally got this damn story updated, my apologies, im learning more English now so they should be more frequent!

Holy shit, you thought, quickly swiping up the notification to dismiss it.

Were you hallucinating? You truly hoped you weren’t.

“ Yo are you alive?” you glanced up to Vinnie with a wide eyed expression

“ah yeah sorry…don’t know what washed over me, lets go” you said walking past him to the main doors to exit

You and your brother had eventually made your way into a nearby resale/music store. The both of you going to see if you could replace some of the CDs you’d had before you moved.

Unfortunately for you and him some of the discs were snapped or scratched up during transit from Houston to Nockfell. The two of you slowly made it outside; you rummage through your cluttered tote to get the keys to the truck. You eventually find them and toss them to vin.

Once we pulled into the parking lot of the music store vin took the keys out of the ignition and glanced to you. You were chewing on your fingernails again, that’s something you did when you were nervous. Or in deeeeeepppppp thought.

You just kept starring at the follower request, not knowing what to do. You’ve combed through all of ash’s’ friends’ profiles except sals. You were just…too nervous. You were never this nervous.

“Dude just follow him back, it’s been like 20 minutes.” Vin said leaning over to watch your phone. “Absolutely not! What if he thinks I’m weird? Or what if he just did it on accident, or what if-“ you kept talking as your brother slothed his arm over and gingerly accepted the follow request. You sat silently in shock as he shrugged. “Well alright... ill just leave my phone in the car I think” you said hooking your purse over your shoulder. Overthinking everything that could happen if he didn’t accept your request.

You rummaged through CDs, you only had a couple stuffed in your hands; Bring Me The Horizons’ “Suicide Season”, Pierce The Veils “Misadventures”, Madonna’s ‘’like a virgin’’, and finally Dark Thrones “Transvilaian Hunger”. Quite opposites if you ask me, you thought to yourself as you maneuvered through the thin isles of the shop. As your sifting through discounted vinyl’s you hear the chime of the electric doorbell, the one that annoyingly chimes every time someone enters or exits. You decide to ignore it and continue looking.

“Speak of the devil” Vinnie breathed out quietly and smirked as he gestured to who entered the store; Of course, it was Ash and her group of friends. One of those friends being Sal. You swiftly turn back to the vinyl bin. Pretending to be interested in its contents to seem busy.

“Oh hey! Look who it is” you heard the deep grungy voice of who you assumed was Larry. You still didn’t look up, frozen from anxiety. You never really felt like this… you didn’t understand why everything was changing so suddenly. You reluctantly turned around and smiled. “Hey knives! Looks like you discovered our best kept secret” you heard ash giggle as she threw her hands up in defeat.

“yeah” Sal laughed “This record store is one of the only good things in Nockfell” he continued. “Oh yeah? Well, I’d have to say its awesome, glad I found out yall’s ‘little secret’ “you said making air quotations.

“Believe me, we have better secrets than this.” Said an unfamiliar voice. “Well its nice to finally meet you, only today had they mentioned meeting you and trust me, they were all eager for me to meet you, I’m Todd” A shorter ginger boy with rounded glasses appeared from behind the other three. “Well, it’s nice to meet you too, Todd” you smiled; “Also, this is my partner, Neil” Another guy emerged, the same height as Todd. He waved sweetly and grinned.

“You having a party without me? Unbelievable.” Your brother jokingly scoffed as he finally came to take some of the spotlight off you. “Yo, nice to see you guys in person, I’m Vinnie, but I just go by vin.” He said as he shoved his rap CDs into your arms to go fist bump your new friends. “Nice to meet you man! I heard you liked cannibal corpse, right?” Larry said enthusiastically as he looked at vin.

“Yeah man...I love them…!” Vin said side eyeing you through his shades. Making you giggle

“Oh word? That’s sick, I love them too.” You heard Sal say to your twin. You caught yourself starring at Sally. He was just a lot to look at to be fair, not in a bad way. In a way you’d look at a renaissance painting, just taking in the intricacy. The guys were all conversating about what-not, you noticed how Sal spoke with his hands a lot. That’s funny, you do that too….

“Knives? You alright?” Ashley said waving a hand in front of your face, Todd furrowing his eyebrows confused while waiting for your response. “Huh? Oh yeah sorry I was just starring off into space.” You said as your eyes widened. You catch Todd exchanging a look to Ashley, and she returned that look; you had no clue what language they were speaking with their eyes.

You and your group checked out with your minimal items, you and Vinnie ended up leaving with the group. The five of them somehow walked to the record store? They must really like this place. The six of you have to somehow fit into Silas’s truck. Vinnie and Larry in the front seats, Ashley, Todd, and Neil in the back seats… Where were you going to sit? Where was Sal going to sit?! They definitely did this on purpose.

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Chapter 6 coming soon, thank you!!!

#sally face #sally fisher #sal fisher #larry johnson #fanfic #homestuck #shitty post #sal fisher x reader #self insert #original character #modern day au #twin flame #slow burn

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absolutebl · 7 months

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Hello! So, I have a LGBTQ/ BL question (I first got obsessed with BL a few months ago and am still learning a lot of things!)

Anyways, I just watched Semantic Error and loved it, but I want to know: is it a thing with most KBLs where they act like being gay is a non issue? For most of the series I assumed it was one of the barriers to them getting together—like internalized homophobia/ lack of social acceptance—and then at the end it seemed like that wasn’t an issue at all. That’s also been true of the (very few) other KBLs I’ve seen and I wonder if that’s pretty typical?

Also, I’m curious what you think about this. I can see why it could be considered a move in the right direction, because it normalizes the gay experience and not every story needs/should be about how hard it is to come out. But also, I live in Korea (I’m not Korean but am married to a Korean), and I can say that this is nowhere near close to reality. Homophobia is basically still the norm here, and to me, avoiding the issue completely feels pretty false and maybe like an attempt to avoid discussing anything controversial?

But also, if I’m being completely honest, my desire for Semantic Error to bring up the issue had a lot more to do with plot development than with representation… I feel embarrassed to say this as a cis-gender, straight female, but I really like the forbidden love aspect of BL. It’s one of the main things that draws me to it, but I feel guilty saying that because it’s sort of like I’m using people’s real lived experience and suffering as a plot point? Or romanticizing it or something? But also, a lot of Semantic Error was about how Sangwoo has to acknowledge and accept his feelings, which would have had a whole nother layer against the backdrop of a homophobic society. Anyways, I’m curious what you honestly think. I won’t be offended if you think my obsession with forbidden love in BL is problematic.

And I don’t mean to say that EVERY story has to be that. I really enjoyed Bad Buddy, for example. Although, I do think it’s kind of funny that in order to keep the forbidden love aspect without making social acceptance of being gay a stumbling block, they basically just reused Romeo and Juliet, probably the oldest forbidden love story there is… lol. I feel like there’s a reason this trope has withstood the test of time. In every love story there has to be SOME barrier to them getting together, otherwise it would be extremely lame 😂

Anyways, I’m really curious to hear what you think!

Short answer, yes. We call the the KBL bubble. I talk about it here:

Here's an older post I wrote about BL and honest queerness (and it's pretty much coming true... except in Korea).

#asked and answered #welcome to the fandom #Korean BL

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greaseonmymouth · 5 days

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tagging games

hokay so I've been tagged in a bunch of these over the past few months weeks, by different people, so let's have some memetic fun

1. fanfic writer's bingo

I was tagged by @mslanna !

well, i did get one bingo! I have never commissioned fanart but I have received it. i debated whether to tick off that last square - 'wants to be a professional writer some day' because eh, i could take that or leave it? i do write original fiction and i have at times dreamt about getting it published, but also, i don't actually care. i write because i enjoy writing and getting paid for it i think is highly likely to make me hate it, so.

2. get to know you better game

I was tagged by @love-lays-bleeding !

get to know you better game! answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to know better.

last song i listened to: Danser Med Drenge - Alt for at beholde dig. it's on my Carl x Assad playlist but also Danser Med Drenge are just genuinely enjoyable in general

currently watching: 9-1-1, Grey's Anatomy, and Station 19. clawing at my face waiting for new episodes for all three shows. aside from that, nothing really, though I think I'll watch Dead Boy Detectives when it drops

currently obsessed with: 9-1-1, Afdeling Q.

3. nine people to get to know better

I was tagged by @foxesonstilts ! some repeat questions, but we'll manage.

last song: TV-2 - De første kærester på månen. this is also on my Carl x Assad playlist which makes no fucking sense because this is a song about teenagers in love and first heartbreak HOWEVER it is a banger and when spotify queued it up after my playlist finished, I was like, you know what, I'll just put it on the list.

favourite colour: considering how many blue items i own it must be blue. honestly though i love a lot of colours and am also partial to green, yellow, orange, pink, red, purple

currently watching: see above

sweet/savoury/spicy: all of them? they each have their time and place but most of all they belong in my mouth

relationship status: single and not willing to mingle

current obsession: finding a pair of hiking boots/shoes. i had ordered a pair THREE WEEKS AGO but UPS lost my parcel so i finally got refunded today but i'm leaving on holiday in less than a week and i still need fucking hiking shoes and i'm losing my mind

last thing you searched: "outdoor sport store london"

4. 20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @palavapeite !

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

117 on my main, but not all of them are fics and not all of the fics are written by me, or just me (some are fanbinding posts, some are fanart, some are collaborative works). including my other two accounts, we're talking 224 works in total.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

on my main, 867,037 words, but that includes about 120k not written by me.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently: Afdeling Q, BBC Shetland. though for the latest yuletide I went back to Volstovic Cycle for a stint and i wrote my first ever Ocean's 11 fic after years and years of only reading.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

that's 4 Harry Potter fics plus one Avengers/Batman crossover I wrote in 2012 on a whim after seeing the Dark Knight Rises and which became unexpectedly popular for a bit. I still love that fic though:

How to become a superhero and gain a family (minus the picket fence) - 7k, Tony Stark & Bruce Wayne, Steve/Tony. 2,758 kudos

the HP fics are:

Don't Blame Me (It Was All a Blur Last Night) - H/D, 7,468 kudos I'll Tell You a Secret (Just Don't Tell) - H/D, 5,209 kudos Here Now, Gone Yesterday (or Back to the Future) - R/S, T/J, 3,078 kudos Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) - H/D, 2,607 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes, usually. I stopped responding to comments on my HP fic a while ago because I couldn't summon the energy to engage with them, and more recently I turned off all comments for HP fic so that I wouldn't have to bother at all. I'm glad people are still able to enjoy these fics, but I need some distance.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I've written some dark fic in the past and I think what comes closest is this old thing I wrote for HP nextgendarkfest back in like 2011, in which some of the nextgen characters (including Harry's sons) were criminals who staged their own murders to cover up a heist they did but it implies that Harry was on to them, nearly caught them in the act, and was devastated about it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

almost all of them??? most of what I write has a happy ending because I want happy endings, damn it. if by happiest you mean 'least complicated' or 'unadulterated joyful' or something like that, then maybe...I don't know, god, I could name at least 50 fics like that just off the top of my head.

You know what, let's do the most recent one:

Et Afdeling Q Julemysterie - this is pure fluff and happy ending and it makes me smile like a fool in love, so.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not in a while - I used to get some nasty comments on this one old HP fic that had a nextgen teenage character working out his sexuality, and some people took offense at the character being asexual/not being asexual enough/turning out to not be asexual in the end. like, make up your mind about what the problem is at least? I also got nasty comments on another HP fic which featured aromantic polyamorous Harry in a V relationship with Ginny and Draco (and Ginny herself was in a V relationship with Harry and Blaise) for various reasons, including but not limited to people not understanding that one can in fact be both polyamorous and aromantic at one and the same time. by the time i posted the everybody is trans HP fic I was anticipating nasty comments so I turned comment moderation on for that fic.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

sometimes. in the past I would include it (and hate writing it) because I thought you had to, but these days I only write it when I feel like it. more often than not it's some kind of character moment rather than a horny thing, though I do usually try to approach the smut writing from the angle of 'what would this character enjoy about having sex with this other character? what are their focus points? what are they horny for? what are their coherence levels? what are their sensitivities? how well do they know their own body? their partner's body? how do they communicate? etc. etc.' you'd think that leads to some very unsexy smut writing but if i'm honest i think those bits of writing actually wound up being both the horniest writing i've ever done AND the most true to character (according to my interpretation of the characters anyway).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

a few - crossovers don't hold a lot of appeal for me in general, so when I've done crossovers there's usually been a 'what if?' spark that set if off.

aforementioned how to become a superhero fic, Avengers/Batman crossover, in which Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne are longtime friends.

it's pure filth that i hide (time for genocide) - Volstovic Cycle/Pacific Rim crossover (or possibly just fusion?). Volstovic Cycle characters pilot jaegers and fight kaijus, no pacrim characters appear.

Dragons - Volstovic Cycle/Harry Potter crossover (...or...fusion?) I can never remember the difference between crossovers and fusions. Harry Potter characters ride dragons á la Volstovic Cycle, no Volstovic Cycle characters appear.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! the full list of translations (and podfics) of my fics is here. I've had fics translated into Russian and German.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes. @palavapeite mentioned this but we co-wrote an absolute deranged behemoth of a 'social media' fic (really, it was a 'livejournal' fic, but same difference) back in like 2008/2009 and it was honest to god some of the best fun I've ever had writing something and also, it was a work of ART.

I have since participated in fests like big bangs and reverse big bangs where I've written or made art, which is not quite the same as co-writing. I once ran a collab fest where I co-created a comic with three friends, which we cowrote and each drew various bits for, which was a lot of fun. and! with @gkkri we co-wrote (and illustrated) a R/S fic (but really it was a Sirius & Regulus fic in R/S disguise) back in 2017 as our last hurrah to the Remus/Sirius fandom as we were both feeling like we hadn't anything left to say for this ship and let me tell you, that co-writing process was like a dream and I'm still really proud of what we made.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't have one??? I'm a multifandom person, I enjoy a LOT of ships for various reasons and I don't think I have an all time favourite? some ships I cycle back to over time and some ships I never even write for, just read a shitton for. like I enjoy Steve/Tony still even though I haven't written any fic for them in over a decade? and I mean, despite my misgivings about JKR and general HP fatigue, I will never not love Remus/Sirius. and so on and so forth. the beauty of fandom is that there are so many great characters and dynamics out there to love

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

er, wellllllll there's this one Matt/Foggy wip languishing in my gdocs drive that I'm not convinced I will ever finish, but I really want to. I'll cycle back to it eventually probably. I also have this one Space AU for Caius/Al that I have officially abandoned, but I still think about it!! and yet!! that wip is probably approaching a decade old at this point. I don't know man.

I only have one active fanfic wip atm and that is my current Afdeling Q wip and I WILL finish it, I swear to everything that is beautiful in this world.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I have a lot of strengths and I'm not too humble to admit it, but I think my number one strength these days is that I Do Not Care what other people think anymore, I will write whatever I damn well please, the way I want to. if other people like it: great! if they don't: okay!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plot sjkdgkfljsgd especially of the crime solving variety. I will never ever be a crime fiction writer. I'm also not great with action-type of plots because....well, I like reading plotty stuff but when I'm writing? I don't care, I just care about my characters and their dynamics and arcs and development and I will hang it on the thinnest scaffolding possible I can get away with to make the story go.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

the kind of another-language-dialogue i see in fic most often seems to be weirdly pointless or out of character, just dropped in (usually by a monolingual English speaker) who thinks it adds flavour to the character, when really, that character has never once in canon slipped into their other language in dialogue. because, well, most multilingual people don't? speaking as a multilingual person I'm far more likely to say something like 'shit what is that called in English' than just say the word in Danish. i mean, tell me you don't understand codeswitching without telling me you don't understand codeswitching.

as a counterpoint to this actually i read a Buck/Eddie fic the other day where Eddie had lines in Spanish, and that I had no issue with because a) he speaks Spanish in the canon b) with his family 3) who also speak Spanish. in the fic he spoke Spanish with his family, who also had lines in Spanish. that author did kindly provide translations but tbh I didn't check the translations because the other thing about this fic was, it was clear from context what was being said without the translations because the dialogue followed canon-levels in this regard.

generally though, my preference would be for the tried and tested "A line of dialogue here," said character A, in Language. "The dialogue continues." it gets the point across.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

band RPF. before that I was writing fanfiction without knowing it was fanfiction or what fandom was, for stuff that Didn't End The Way I Wanted It To or similar. but first actual fandom writing? band RPF. it's backed up on a secondary ao3 account now, but this shit was first posted on forums and livejournal a billion years ago.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

listen. 224 fics written (that I know of, because the heavens only know what's been lost to the sands of time at this point) and you want me to pick ONE favourite? absolutely fucking not. also, recency bias is a thing.

i don't know man. let me pick at random:

Of Gilded Wallpaper and Meddling Dragons - Temeraire, 5,068 words

No Archive Warnings Apply, William Laurence/Tenzing Tharkay, William Laurence, Tenzing Tharkay, Temeraire, John Granby, Iskierka Augustine Little, Romance, Fluff and Humor, dragons being dragons, bisexual awakening, agony aunt!granby, an excessive amount of gilded wallpaper, laurence blames the weather for his being hot and bothered, Laurence POV, tharkay brings sexy back

Summary: Laurence and Temeraire have been living with Tharkay for a scant two weeks when Laurence sends Granby a letter that essentially boils down to hi John how did you know you're gay also plz help I am in trouble.

5. animal crossing picrew

I was tagged by @dejlige-dage !

i have never played animal crossing but this was fun

i am tagging: YOU. if you've read this, you're tagged.

#memes

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madamemaximoff06 · 1 year

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Void State Progress

So I want to start sharing my void journey on here and just be more active with posting on Tumblr (in general)

How I found out about the Void state was from Instagram back in 2021 I believe (I’m also into reality shifting, so I’m using the void to manifest my dream life and to shift realities) I found it under some shifting account so I decided to dig deeper to find out what it was. I then joined tumblr and I wasn’t on it as much then I decided hey why not look up the void state and the amount of success stories I found, liked and then rebloged was insane.

so I’ve actually entered the void twice BUT both times I woke up in the void and I had no idea I was in the void, I woke up in the void both times. And for those that will be asking I don’t remember exactly what I did, it was months ago, but I think I just affirmed “I am in the void” as I was falling asleep or just really drowsy then woke up there.

The first time it happened I was lying down on my couch with my family as we were watching a horror movie, normally I would be sitting up right but I decided to lie down (because I stole my sister spot, it’s like this long piece of the couch that’s not sectioned off like how newer couches are) I would occasionally affirm that I was in the void every now and then but it wasn’t my main goal, I didn’t even mean to fall asleep then I did then I woke up in this black void, I couldn’t hear or feel anything and I was confused, I just figured that hey maybe I woke up with my eyes closed (I know sounds stupid) then I would wake myself up more and leave the void.

the second time was when I was in my room, i can’t remember if I was listening to a subliminal or something, but I was in this drowsy state (and kind of bored) so I took a nap and I woke up there, Once again had no idea that I was in the void) then I woke up more to go to a birthday party.

I actually replied to a post that I saw that described this exactly and it made me realize that I entered the void both times without really realizing it.

Basically I wrote that I’ve been experiencing exactly what this person has been experiencing, and later on in the months I’ve found that a lot of people also have this same problem, being in the void but not knowing it then waking up from it. Basically what would happen to me is I’ll be affirming then I’ll fall asleep then I’ll “wake up” and I’ll just be in this state of being awake and also unconscious (if that makes sense), I would just be in the blackness, not feeling anything, not hearing anything, not like a floaty feeling but just I’m just here in this moment feeling, existing (probably sounds confusing) I would just think that I woke up with my eyes closed and I would forget to affirm because I didn’t think that I entered also because I would wake up and have no thoughts in my head (which is a sign of the void!!!) so I would just wake myself up.

I’ve been honestly kicking myself after realizing that I’ve entered the void two times, but I think I know what works for me, a few things that work for me:

Attempting while I’m tired during the day which will cause me to nap (this is where it happened the second time I entered and I might have entered it a little bit yesterday while also taking a nap, I’ll get to that story in a bit!)

listen to submlinals (or really just anything that’ll be background noise as I fall asleep) and affirm while being in a sleepy state

keep going over my void list (stuff I want to manifest) for motivation also it’s just fun to add stuff

and to never give up, I’ve already entered it twice! TWICE!!! Even if I didn’t know it at the time I still entered the void twice. It’s real, I know it’s real, because I’ve been there. so my experience yesterday was that once again I was in my room, watching a YouTube video, getting tired (normally I never take naps but the past week has been rough) so while I was falling asleep I was affirming not a lot but saying “I’m in the void” or “I will wake up in the void” then I woke up in the void for like a few seconds before I realized that I was “asleep” (I wasn’t asleep I was in the void again!) I panicked and I woke up because I thought that I would be late for my college classes (I’m doing high school classes and college classes at night) so I woke up thinking I was late once again NOT REALIZING I WAS IN THE VOID!!! i’ll get my act together one day but I think this is good for me, I mean I’ve been having doubts about the void and how easy it seems that everyone else is entering it (but also keep in mind I’ve been putting it off for awhile so that’s my bad for being lazy) but I’ve realized how easy it is to enter or tap into. I just hope that next time when I do I’ll remember to affirm for my desires and I will of course be updating on my journey and if anything else happens. thank you so much for reading all of this and reading about my journey, I know it’s a lot but I’m just excited to be sharing my journey and when I do enter I’ll share my success story to help even more people. (Also one day I will learn to make my posts look more fancy 😂) but for now, I’ll see you when I see you ❤️

#loa #loassumption #void state #the void state #void state success #manifesting #manifestation #law of manifestation #manifest #master manifestor #i am state #void state journey

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 months

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Linzi’s 2023 Thank You Post!

I feel like every year I get here and wonder how the heck it got to December 31st! And yet, here we are again!

Funnily enough, as I read back my 2022 thank you's I told you this blog would be changing a little... and guess what? I never really got that done! Maybe I will in 2024! (I suppose you can watch this space!)

I did however, actually write so much more this year, and posted a lot of it too, so I can say that goal was accomplished! And I hope 2024 brings more of that inspiration! To my fellow writers also! 🤗

I would like to say thank you to everyone for being here! For still enjoying the fics I wrote years ago, and my new work too! For those of you that have commented or DM'd me! Or for those of you that I have messaged (one of you for the first time, despite being moots for 11 years!🤯)

I would like to thank @sagitariusrising and @sufferthesea for their continued support in everything! You two always push me to write better than I ever have before, and I value your friendship and encoragement

@alotofrandomfangirling - I mean, I don't have the words to express how much the past few months has meant to me - it's been so fun idea swapping and curating with you and just getting out all the ✨FEELINGS✨ towards some of these idiot swordsmen we are catching feelings for (and their actors, too!) Thank you for being there any time I've thought "Wait, but does this even work!?" 🤣 Doubtless, there will be more times like that!

@mandy23b - Hard to believe it's going to be 5 years next year [again, you're never getting rid of me!😜] Thank you for always being someone understanding, who I can talk to about the good and bad things in this roller-coaster of a year! (And for sharing yours with me too!) You truly are my best friend, and I can't wait to see what adventures we get up to in 2024!

And - what you're really wanting to see, of course! 😉 - here are my Men of 2023! Either because I spent a lot of time with them in my head... or writing for them... or letting them live rent free in my mind (Looking at you, Serge! Your movie isn't even OUT yet!) or because I supported them this year in there respective sports (or maybe a little of all of those! 😁) What I can say for sure is every single one of them brought me joy in some capacity, and isn't that the main thing?

I'm looking forward to whatever 2024 brings! Here's to a good one! 🍾🥂

#Linzi 2023

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boogleboot · 4 months

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One year since Fateheart

A year ago I posted Fateheart: A Starless Seaquel to Ao3 (link here) - the mammoth fanfic sequel to Erin Morgenstern's The Starless Sea.

Fateheart has had an incredible year, and has completely changed my life, by all measures. Posting it has connected me to so many wonderful people and helped bring together a genuine community over on the Starless Sea discord (which you should join hey here's a link) who have supported me through the last hellish few weeks of uni assignments as well as months and months of creative projects and ambitious fic writing.

So on this blessed solstice day, here is a lil update for those who are following the slow progress of the unofficial Starless Sea canon as developed in Fateheart.

Oh that's right, baby. It ain't just one fan sequel. It's gonna be uhhh (checks notes) at least four.

I really really wanted to get the next book out at this year mark - on the solstice and year anniversary - but despite hitting that 50k mark for NaNoWriMo last month it just didn't happen (it's been a rough couple months - I am currently doing a master's course that is kicking my ass).

But I am determined to get Fever Pitch, the next full-novel-length follow-up story, out in full as soon as humanly possible. Toward that end I have gone ahead and made a posting for it. The first few chapters are done and have been done for a while, so I shall slowly be posting them as I work on the rest.

Watch this space!!!!

I never really intended Fever Pitch to be a fully-fledged sequel. Mind you, I didn't intend that with Fateheart either, but in a different way. In my mind the next book in the sequence is and always has been a story called The Lotus Flowers. Nearly 180k words of that one exist, but it is too important a story not to get right. So I'm gonna give it as much time as it needs - and it may need quite a lot.

But in working on Lotus Flowers, I came to realise that a lot of the world-building and character development which I was taking for granted was in fact not as obvious to the reader as it would be to me - LF is, after all, set ten or so years after Fateheart, and considering all of The Starless Sea (at least for Zachary and Dorian) takes place in about two weeks, ten years is space enough for a LOT of story.

So in order to strengthen my sense of where Zachary, Dorian, and Kat have found themselves by the ten year mark, I started noting down some of the more important moments from that decade of time. And then just kept writing. And writing and writing and writing until a handful of them were fully fledged novellas.

I have put up the polished ones - they are collected together on Ao3 as 'Fateheart: The Extended Canon'. Which is. A bit pretentious. But whatever. (Also I'm not kidding myself that all the fics in this collection are vital plot points, but there are a couple standout ones which are Canon Events in my mind, that will be referenced in later full-length fics. Namely A Heart That Won't Break, Death in the Valley, and The Man Named Sky.)

But one of these short (aspirationally) stories seemed as I wrote to have particular space in it for so much of that world-building and exposition, and that was Fever Pitch.

Fever Pitch takes place five years after the birth of the Harbour, and the events of Fateheart, and is an Alice-in-Wonderland themed story which explores the lives of all the main Fateheart characters (Zachary, Dorian, Kat, and Leander, namely), introduces some new players (shoutout Tabuzae and Kirsty Baudeville), as well as establishing the limits and life of the Harbour they live in.

I'd say a solid sixty percent of this story currently exists, and I'm gonna amp up the pressure on myself to complete it by posting it as I go - something I've never done before, so bear with me.

It means so much to me that there are people out here who care as much about these people and this little world on the Starless Sea as I do - even more so that so many people have loved my offerings of more story. The above photo is of my christmas present from a housemate who was one of Fateheart's earliest readers. It's so beautiful it makes my heart leap.

We rise, we fall - as stories do.

I am committed to seeing this story through, by the way - all the way to the end - and that is gonna take years. But we start here - with the next book in the series. First few chapters to appear over Christmas.

Until then, happy solstice. To seeking x

#The Starless Sea #Zachary/Dorian #Fateheart #fanfiction #TSS #Starless Sea #Zachary Ezra Rawlins #Dorian

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scarisd3ad · 4 months

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And I love you, Evangline. - Promptmas day 5

Pairing - tteab!daryl Dixon x tteab!reader

Warnings - none

(A/N) - still don’t know when this takes but def after Glenn’s death. Also so sorry for the delay in yesterday and todays posts I had been so busy on Sunday I had entirely forgotten to write days 5 and 6

Promptmas ‘23 masterlist

Main masterlist

Taglist

After the world had ended, Christmas was quite different. There were no stores to buy gifts from, no mall Santas to take pictures with, and most traditions had died along with the old world. However, with two children in the house, we made an effort to keep the traditions alive. There were still gifts under the tree, and we left out cookies for Santa. Casey even wrote a note telling Santa all she and her new little sister wanted that year.

Evangeline Sophia Dixon was born just a few short months before Christmas and was the absolute light of our lives. She had bright blue eyes just like Daryl. her hair was bright blonde just like Daryl’s had been when he was younger.

We all sat around the tree, Casey closest to the tree with 4 presents in front of her, and Daryl and I am little further away with the baby cradled in my arms. 2 of the presents in front of Casey were from Daryl and me, 1 was from Carol, and the last was from Glenn which was just handed to us yesterday by Maggie. She said he must’ve gotten it for her just weeks before his death. “Can I start? Can’t I start?” Casey exclaimed excitedly as her eyes flicked between each gift. “Yup, go ahead,” I reply with a nod. She immediately goes for the biggest box, which was from Daryl. when he put the large box under the tree two days ago. I asked, “What is it?” and he just shrugged before walking away. So, I still did not know what was in said box. She shakes it a few times before excitedly opening it. She gasps as she peers into the box. “Really?” she looks up at Daryl, her eyes wide with excitement. He gives her a nod before she pulls out a kid’s sized crossbow.

I don’t even know where he got it from, let alone one small enough for her. “Daryl” I muttered disapprovingly. She already had five million weapons. She had a gun, more knives than she could even count, and now a crossbow. “Will you teach me?!” she asks, as she examines the crossbow in her hands. “Yup.”

After opening the three other presents, which included some new clothes from Carol, a stuffed bunny from Glenn, and more toys from Daryl and me, we moved on to Evie’s gifts. Most of the presents for Evie were from Carol and Maggie. Each present from Carol was magnificently wrapped with the words “To Evie Sophia from Aunt Carol” written on them. Daryl unwrapped each present and then showed them to Evie, who was sitting on my lap. Though Evie didn’t seem to care about any of the gifts, Daryl still made the effort to show each one to her, cooing, “Look, Eve, it’s socks.” After Carol had told him that it was good for babies’ brains to talk to them as much as possible, he started talking to her about all sorts of things.

It was cute watching him take up the role of a father. Though he had been taking care of Casey for a few years, I had never seen him in the baby stage. He was so nurturing and caring, which was surprising to see in a man like him. Evie had already stolen his heart, even though she was just a few months old. It was truly adorable.

Promptmas Taglist

@nezukos-number1fan @thatemophoenixgirl @gleefuleve @narryl0ver @syynnaaah

Tteab taglist

@rivversin @soul4death @furiousheartpoetry @silicone-bonez @nezukos-number1fan @your-shifting-gurl @maziejay08 @oi-itse @rhaenryawhore @kimbunnysstuff @blipblopper @ramielll @ilyhannah @daryldixonnn @delicatebearpandaopera @crypticmushroom @daryldixmedown @duckybird101

#x reader #fem!reader #the walking dead #daryl dixon #female!reader #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #daryl twd #twd daryl #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead x reader #twd #christmas

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toodrasticallydumb · 6 months

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20 questions for fic writers

Oh! Hello! I was tagged by @pinkytoothlesso11 ! Thanks for thinking of me pinky! I’m kinda new to the whole fanfic scene so i really appreciate it! This was already a long list of questions to begin with but i fear i may have made it worse…

OH WELL HAVE FUN SPORT :}>

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Unfortunately just 2, though I do plan to add a few more in the future as ideas flow. Might take me a minute ‘cause my schedule is just a little bit kinda sorta really swamped down with my main child which requires let me you, A LOT OF CARE DONT SIGN UP TO ADOPT KIDS PEOPLE IT’S NOT—

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Phew. ummmm it changes very rapidly (because i’m a girl w suspected adhd and can NEVER be told to shut up) with every chapter but as of this moment is 228,665! wow! i don’t really know how great of a number that is but i’m sure it’s a lot! I told you I can never shut up! (-whispers- Hey kid, u want some dRuGs? i mean- an update? That itty bitty word count is about to take another not regularly scheduled mini-skyrocket so get ready for it ehehe ;})

3. What fandoms do you write for?

For now, just Trollhunters/Tales of Arcadia, mainly Trollhunters despite the fact that the first of the Tales of Arcadia shows that i watched and really enjoyed was actually 3-Below, but oh well my man is in Trollhunters sooooo oopsie but i DO have some random snippets of fics for Miraculous (rewrite), the Star Wars sequels (rewrite), Batman, some for the Dream SMP, and weirdly enough also Raya and the Last Dragon (rewrite). All of which i prolly wont ever post because i wrote them a while ago and yeaaaahhh not my best writing but if i get enough people other than my best friend wanting me to post them, i might…

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

uhhhh i dont actually HAVE five fics to my name, so i’ll just…put em in order (w their long-ahh title names):

Trollhunter!Strickler: Destiny's Ill-fitted Chosen

'A MiStAkE' because I haven't updated in ages--A Stricklake month 2023 prompt collection

but i am so happy for the people who have left so many kudos on my work it really warms mah little heart ❤️

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. At first, I sorta struggled with it (who the heck am i kidding i STILL do) but since my fic USED to be two times a week updates i would feel like i couldn’t respond to a comment left after i posted a new chapter so i might’ve left some comments in the earlier days unanswered, super sorry. Nowadays i make it a point to reply back to everyone in the order that they commented in because (anxiety makes me think if i don’t respond they won’t comment anymore and know that i love reading their comments and that they’re so amazing for actually taking the time to write something back AND I DO LOVE IT I PROMISE IT JUST TAKES ME A WHILE TO RESPOND—) …because it’s pretty chill to geek out w em and see they liked stuff that i loved to write! I do have a backlog of comments to get to i just end up overthinking everything to match the person’s energy to be sure they know i love em.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Unfortunately, i haven’t actually finished a fully-fledged fic to say it has the angstiest ending bUt definitely a contender would be chapter 1 of my 2023 Stricklake prompt collection because i just leave it on the sad note and don’t do anything about it because angst and because spoilers for my actual story fic that will eventually make it to that point.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest ending, huh? I like to say that most of the things i will/have chosen to write end happy/hopeful because i hate when books/tv shows end bittersweetly it’s like i have enough with life itself being bittersweet most of the time let me be happy LET THEM BE HAPPY. But that doesn’t exclude me from providing the proper banquet of angst that ends in caretaking, my absolute favorite trope.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh heck no. I would be devastated honestly, but thankfully everyone who comments is always the sweetest and kindest people ever and really encourage me to keep going, for that i am only thankful.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Just no. I love romance but i am a minor, so i’ve never consumed smut nor intend to ever write it. Give me a soft romance and loving gestures, I can allude to greater happenings but not details.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don’t, sorry. I don’t know something in me just doesn’t sit well with crossovers, for the life of me I don’t know why. Like genuinely i wish i could get into them but maybe it’s like food on a plate? i don’t like the foods touching each other so maybe the same rules apply??? yeah i’m drasticallydumb

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that i know of, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so, and if someone did they’re in for a heck of a lot of work there…

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I’d like to sometime but i have no idea how one even goes about making a co-written fic, on top of which i am a very sporadic person in terms of motivation and random ideas produced by a song i’m listening to while writing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Stricklake obviously is a really big contender if not the winner, the ship that brought me to AO3, writing fanfics, and tumblr. But, if i had to pick other options i’d say Eugene and Repunzel from Tangled would be one of my ogs, another might be uhhh Chris and Aviva from Wild Kratts the og of the ogs.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Chapter 3 of my stricklake 2023 prompt collection, it just has a lot of moving parts and me and my best friend are chronic procrastinators and with the month pretty far gone it might just end up sittin’ there for the foreseeable future 😞 but who knows

16. What are your writing strengths?

Phew, that’s a dozy mainly because i’m not super sure. I’d like to think one of my main strengths is descriptions and really putting you in the mind of the character, i don’t really like spelling things out and i like a little investigating to get you where u end up, u know? I like to think my writing FEELS a little more like a show on a page rather than a true book, most to blame would be my maladaptive daydreaming taking up a lot of time in my planning for my writing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Ah. How the turn tables. I would say that my weaknesses in writing mostly consist of me going a little *too* far into detail on meaningless things or making it too convoluted for people to understand, sometimes spelling it out is better in certain scenarios and i just really need to get myself past that. Another one i would say is that i go REALLY into detail not only in a sentence/chapter sense but also a complete STORYLINE sense, i hate time skips and i shoot myself in the foot wanting to completely document every moment of everyday w a character and hence it seems like a lot of time in universe hasn’t gone by. Trying to improve and grow tho 💪

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Can’t wait to do more of it! Especially with Claire and her family (including NotEnrique) speaking spanglish w each other automatically mainly because i am hispanic and completely fluent in Spanish and live in a similar household so i just love to add a little ✨personalization✨ to my dialogue and interactions in that way. Other languages………….yeaaaahhh i’m not super good will prolly use google translate and hope.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Trollhunters, my gateway into AO3. HOWEVER. if you promise not to tell, the very first fandom i read/wanted to write a fanfic for was actually, as far as i can tell, Wordgirl. don’t ask why. don’t ask me how. it just kinda happened. But, officially, it’s Trollhunters. (maybe with a side of Warrior Cats).

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Not hard at all! My pride and joy, my youngest baby in the grand scheme of my writing journey, Trollhunter!Strickler: Destiny's Ill-fitted Chosen! A surprise to absolutely NO ONE. It’s honestly so amazing to both write and see people read and enjoy as much as I do, he’s my little man ❤️ And doing so much rewriting and character growth and having so much written and planned for the future, it’s just my absolute fav

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flowers-of-io · 1 year

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Inspired by the tags under this post by @ninerivens <3 I wrote the majority of this fic back in Haunted and kinda forgot about it whoops, hence why I’m posting it at such a random moment.

Read on Ao3

When the H.E.L.M. was being designed, there was one room tucked under its left wing that had a table with two chairs and a coffee machine, and many blinking monitors covering all of the widest wall. It turned out to be a good place to sit and talk when the main area was occupied, or just to and gather thoughts over a cup of awfully bitter coffee, and Zavala liked to watch it transform over the months of use: an Imperial banner looted from the Halpheas Electus strung over the kitchen counter, some spare parts left by Corsairs and gathering dust in the corner, a third chair brought here by an Eliksni technician when they were celebrating Crow’s “rez-day” here, back when things were simpler. Several mugs in significantly differing sizes clutter the cupboard. There is even a bedroll tucked behind the table, one Zavala has found himself sleeping on more than a few times lately. Crow has been talking about bringing more of those, maybe even a bunk bed, maybe some more folding chairs or a clock or a microwave. A Cabal-sized ottoman occupies one corner, next to a pile of blankets.

It is quiet here, now, save for the soft buzz of monitors and Crow’s measured breathing as he slumbers on the bedroll spread out under the opposite wall, curled around Glint like a cat. It must be horrendously late by City standards, but Zavala still holds a cup of fresh coffee, huffing on the surface and feeling hot vapour caress his face. The monitors blink—shifting images of the Leviathan’s rooms from different angles, awfully familiar by now, making his skin crawl all the same. He barely registers the quiet rustle as the door behind him slides open.

“Zavala,” the voice is soft, but he almost spills the coffee with how abruptly he turns around.

“Ca— Empress,” he stumbles, because this is an official space, even with all the mess and his lead scout currently snoring in the corner; but she only gives a weary shake of her head and he settles on, “Caiatl.”

“Could you… spare me a moment?”

“Always,” he moves to give her some room. With how small and cluttered the place is, her arm almost brushes against his shoulder when she comes to stand beside him.

Tension radiates off her, he can see it in how stiff her back is and how she clasps her hands in front of her, knuckles white, in the stained expression on her unhelmeted face. Worry curls in his stomach, but he doesn’t rush her—only watches as she stares at the monitors for a moment, then finally turns her gaze to him.

“The severance ritual,” she begins.

“Are you… alright?” An impulse makes Zavala want to put a hand over hers, but he resists it. Caiatl draws in a breath.

“Ghaul’s… the phantom’s words…”

“They’re lies,” he says immediately.

“They’re my own thoughts.” She looks away, and speaks slowly, as if every word was being pushed through her lips with great effort. “My own doubts. I… I fear putting the lives of my men in the Guardians’ hands. Every time, I’m second-guessing myself when I send them under someone else’s command.”

“That is a reasonable concern to have.”

“I fear I’m not taking something into account and will end up with a knife in my back, just like my father. I’m weighing the Guardians’ motives. The Red Legion razed your City; sometimes I have nightmares about my armada burning, a fair vengeance for that war.”

Zavala watches her wring her fingers, rings clicking against each other. Her hands must be warm, even in the coolness of the H.E.L.M., and they are soft and wide and safe, and he is trying not to think about this now but cannot help himself.

“Some time ago you said, ‘trust is still being built’.” He looks to her face half-turned away, blue streaks on her profile flickering in sync with the monitors. There is no accusation in his tone as he continues, “Are you worried I will betray you?”

“No,” she says this instantly, and then frowns, as if considering the words only after she had uttered them. “No, not you. I would lay my life in your hands.”

This is not spoken like a vow or a confession, but Caiatl is looking at him now, and something warm and so very soft coils in his chest without a warning. He puts the mug down.

“I wanted this to be clear between us,” she presses on, “and that what you heard—”

“It doesn’t change anything,” he interrupts, and shakes his head when she opens her mouth to speak. “You’ve never given me a reason not to trust you. We all have fears, but they’re not who we are.”

She sighs, “Zavala…”

“Caiatl.” He moves, because the tension is unbearable, because she keeps looking at him like she wants a way out but can’t find it, because her eyes glow dimly in the darkened room and he couldn’t break their gaze even if he wanted to. His hand touches her forearm and he marvels at the softness of her skin, at the electricity upon contact that has nothing to do with the Light. Caiatl’s shoulders slump, and she reaches back, her fingers brushing the side of his face.

From there it is easy to lean in, his forehead coming to rest against her chestplate and her chin atop his head, and then her arms curl around him, and he breathes in the mixed scent of musk, iron and herbs. They stay like this for a long, wonderfully warm minute; until a soft chuckle escapes Zavala and Caiatl hums at this inquisitively.

“You’d think it would be harder. This,” trapped in the embrace all he can do is shrug unhelpfully, though Caiatl’s gentle nod suggests she understood. “But frankly, I’ve found it quite effortless.”

“Easier than most things lately,” the small scoff she breathes out is almost a laugh. He shifts to look up at her, at her golden eyes and glimmering ring-bands, the long carved tusks casting strange shadows across her face.

Facing the risen Hive. Losing his faith. Falling in love. Losing his son, again, in a whole new and terrifying way, almost losing himself in the process. That moment in the Hangar when he watched Caiatl storm towards Crow and for one horrible second was ready to kill her.

He wants to speak but finds himself choked up.

Caiatl releases him and takes half a step back, though her hands still linger loosely on his shoulders. Her gaze wanders to Crow, curled up in a fetal position on the bedroll, his face smooth and calm under the few strands of hair that fall over it.

“I envy such peace.”

Zavala follows her eyes and for a moment they stay in silence, listening to the Hunter’s measured breaths. He moves slightly, only once, and his arm curls to hold Glint tighter to his chest.

“Sometimes I worry the only peace he ever gets is when he’s sleeping,” Zavala says quietly.

“And you?” She turns back to him, assessing him with her gaze.

“Hmm?”

“Have you been sleeping lately?”

He opens his mouth and stumbles, because it’s hard to lie straight to her face, “…there was a lot of work.”

“I see.”

“I’m fine, Caiatl.”

“If so, why are you making excuses?” She tilts her head, humour twinkling in her eyes. “Another thing I told you was that a true warrior knows when to fight and when to rest. Do not make me doubt your prowess, Commander.”

From his corner of the room Crow gives off a single, definitive snore, and this seals the spell. Caiatl chuckles, a warm and rumbling sound, and Zavala suddenly realises just how heavy his limbs feel—between coffee and the crutch that is Targe’s Light, he really hasn’t been sleeping for days. The Cabal otoman in the corner now looks incredibly appealing.

“Maybe I should heed your advice more often,” he says with a small smile. Caiatl lifts her tusks in amusement.

“You’d better.” The hand ghosting over his shoulder moves to scoop up his palm, and he squeezes her fingers. “See me tomorrow?”

“With pleasure.” A cynical voice in his mind whispers that the rate of crises as of late would have them meet whether they’d like it or not, but he brushes it away. They linger like this for a moment, until Caiatl lets go of his hand and pointedly gestures to Crow with her chin.

“Go rest. It must be late for you.”

She leaves with a smile in her eyes, and the warmth of it settles inside Zavala’s chest somewhere between the lungs, making him breathe deep and easy. He sinks into the otoman, head turned away from the blinking screens that buzz with a pleasant white noise. It is oh so warm, warmer still when he pulls a blanket over himself, and his bones all but melt into the plush as he drifts off. Crow mumbles something in his sleep. The measured footsteps of security frames come from the other room. A sensor beeps, somewhere far enough not to care.

And then there is no sound at all.

#my fics #caiatl/zavala #season of the haunted #caiatl #zavala #our little brother #destiny 2

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birchbow · 1 year

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@owl---feathers yeah I've posted about it on,,,, my main and my pale sideblog before, maybe? I wrote some bits in college of a fic where Gamzee gets captured by the Felt, presumed dead--then I forgot about it for years, then a few months ago somebody told me they always hoped to still read it someday, and I started putting in the work trying to get it postable. Ofc now that it has plot, instead of just like 15K words of bad shit happening to Gamzee, it's ballooned to almost 100K words and still isn't done. But that's my trademark at this point lol.

I'm genuinely such a sucker for "the guy I love is back but he came back Wrong but I still love him" and also "this person is deeply traumatized about being A Person and needs to learn how to be a human being that people love again", so.

The rest of your team is filtering down after you. You should be listening to them as they talk, debriefing, talking over your next moves; you’re the leader, it’s your job. But you can’t. You can’t do anything except stand at the observation window and stare.

Gamzee was always thin, no matter how much you tried to feed him up, but now he’s fucking gaunt. The beds in the holding cells are just inset bunks in the walls with mattresses riveted down onto them; the cuffs attached on either side of them aren’t long enough for him to leave the mattress but he’s making a solid fucking effort, thrashing and struggling at them, making vicious, animal sounds of fury. His eyes are washed over featureless purple, his lips are cracked and chapped bloody, the soft brown of his skin has gone a pale, ashy gray-brown except for the blotchy flush of rage on his cheeks.

“Motherfucking cowards!” he screams, and slams against the cuffs as hard as he can, wiry muscle straining in his arms and chest, tendons standing out in his narrow throat. “You’ll die and DIE AGAIN, you walking corpses! My mission is holy! MY MISSION IS HOLY, MOTHERFUCKERS! I won’t be fucking swayed from it! You’ll live to watch my Lord eat the marrow outta your bones, he’ll boil you fuckers alive in your own filthy motherfucking blood—!”

“Fuck,” says Eridan, heavy and thick with horror. There’s still red smeared across his lips, and he’s leaning hard on Feferi’s shoulder. “Should’ve been able to take him. Woulda been able to take him before. Fuck.”

Gamzee is laughing now, horrible, harsh laughter, like the horrific shit he’s describing is funny. You don’t answer, because how the fuck could you? What the fuck would you say?

“This is what they wanted to turn us into?”

“Eridan,” says Feferi, tightly.

“Fuckin’, berserk murder machines—”

“Eridan.”

Eridan presses his lips together into a thin, unhappy line and looks away, sniffing hard.

“You think I don’t feel you out there?!” Gamzee snarls, and twists, thrashing at the cuffs. They were made for the others, when they came back from the Scratch—the shed chitin of whatever you’re fused with is worked into them, and they don’t give. Gamzee howls in fresh rage and stares wildly at the one-way mirror, eyes round and blank, nothing behind them but light. “Smell you,” he hisses. “Taste you. Scared of me, motherfuckers, as well you fucking should be. Scared what hell you’ll be sent to when I dig your hearts out with my hands and make you fucking eat them—! Oh I taste it already, brothers and sisters, repent, it won’t fucking save you—”

“I can’t believe that’s him,” Kanaya says—quietly, flat and soft. “What have they done with him?”

Whatever the fuck they wanted, you guess. Six years. Six fucking years.

#ask time!#this AU needs a better name because the working title when I wrote it six thousand years ago was 'in cold blood' and i am older and wiser #and irritated with my younger self's habit of naming things with prepositional phrases #ANYWAY it's going to be hugely long and kind of intense and I'm very excited to post it.....someday.........

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floriographylesbian · 1 year

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LGBTQ+ Representation: Beyond an Unreasonable Doubt

I wrote a thing about something annoying that I noticed in queer media representation a while ago and I decided to post it here, because I feel Tumblr is where it belongs. I might have gotten the details of some of the shows wrong, as I haven’t watched most of these in while.

Whenever someone tells me to watch a show because “It’s gay,” I ask them two questions. “Is it gay beyond a reasonable doubt?” and, if they say yes, I ask “Is it gay beyond an unreasonable doubt?” The first question is my standard for something being gay enough to warrant that particular sales pitch. The second question is to determine if it will be 100% certified grade-A representation. Now, to explain what I mean by all of this, I need to talk about some gay anime skater boys.

The anime “Sk8 the Infinity” is an excellent example of something that is gay beyond a reasonable doubt, but not beyond an unreasonable doubt. “Sk8” is an anime about using the Power of Friendship to break the laws of physics in dangerous underground skateboarding competitions. The first episode introduces us to Reki, our protagonist and the archetypical teenage skater boy. And Langa, a 17 year-old Canadian snowboarder who moved to his mother’s hometown of Okinawa after the death of his father. The main cast of the show also features a sassy pre-teen catboy, a very buff Italian restaurant owner, and a wealthy calligrapher with an A.I. skateboard. Throughout the first half of the show, Reki and Langa are implied to have romantic feelings for each other, mostly through visual language, which isn’t quite enough for less observant straight audiences to pick up on. In episode 8 while Reki is sulking because of an argument he and Langa had in the previous episode, Langa participates in a skateboarding race for which Reki was not present and realizes that skating isn’t fun without him, because when he skates with Reki his heart races and when he skates without him, he feels nothing. The two reunite in episode 10 with a reunion that my original, chaotic draft of this post described as “very cute and gay.” The final (twelfth) episode, ends with a narration monologue by Langa mirroring Reki’s monologue from episode 1. In the opening narration, Reki talks about happiness and expresses the idea that there is something scary and unknowable about the question of “What is your happiness?” He says that he knows what his happiness is, and it’s implied that his happiness is skateboarding, as the sentence is visually punctuated with a shot of Reki skateboarding. In Langa’s version of the monologue, he also claims to know what his happiness is, and the shot visually punctuating the sentence is one of Reki, implying that Reki is Langa’s happiness. I don’t know what kind of friendships you’ve all been experiencing, but the relationship between these two skater boys seems more than platonic to me. But they don’t date, or kiss, or say they’re gay, so the show has been deemed queerbait, which it effectively is. There are still some people who think these characters are straight, but those people had to do some impressive mental gymnastics to come to that conclusion. Those mental gymnastics are what I mean by “an unreasonable doubt”.

One of my personal favorite examples of something that does meet the threshold of being gay beyond an unreasonable doubt is “The Owl House,” which is so gay that Disney shortened the third season to three extra long episodes spread out by several months. The main character, Luz, is explicitly stated to be bisexual in season 3 episode 1, “Thanks to Them”. Even before that she had been officially dating another girl, Amity, who kissed her in season 2 episode 20, Clouds on the Horizon. No amount of cognitive cartwheels can deny that these girls are not straight. The Owl House also has a non-binary character named Raine whose identity is never named, but everyone refers to them as “they” and no one ever uses any gendered language to describe them. No one could in good faith assume that they’re a man or woman because nothing in the text at all implies they are either. They are non-binary beyond an unreasonable doubt.

Lastly, an example of something that I think is gay, but isn’t quite beyond a reasonable doubt. “Infinity Train” is an anthology series, where each season follows a different set of protagonists in the same setting. The fourth season is set in the 1980s and follows Ryan Akagi and Min-Gi Park, repairing their relationship and re-forming their band. The relationship between the two characters can easily be interpreted as romantic, but I can see how someone might interpret it otherwise without any psychological splits. Gay, but not beyond a reasonable doubt.

This method of categorization is a problem, albeit a somewhat unavoidable one. It shouldn’t have to work like this. Queer media should not have to include a kiss or someone outright stating their sexuality to “count” as gay. Even things like Sk8 that are practically beating you over the head with how gay they are aren’t considered cannon representation because they don’t include that explicit confirmation. The lack of queer representation combined with the prevalence of queerbaiting has made it so we have to gatekeep queer content by drawing arbitrary lines. Some people say that anyone who looks at media without explicit confirmation and comes to the conclusion that the relationship between two male characters is romantic are “destroying platonic male friendship by making everything gay” or something. The more you hear those mental gymnastics the more it gets in your head, and queer people start doubting themselves whenever they interpret something as queer when it isn’t outright stated. I have no idea how to solve this problem, or if it’s even possible, but I can point it out and give it a name, which might help smarter people than me to think of a solution or a deeper analysis.

#queerbait #queerbaiting #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #the owl house #infinity train #infinity train book 4 #lgbtq+ representation #beyond an unreasonable doubt

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