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#i wonder how many people ive said this tag with
jrueships · 2 years
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21 minutes of keldon johnson CONTENT??? The spurs are SPOILIN me now !!
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sunbedo · 18 days
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Hey guys. gay rights
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#i already made the sonic one a while bc yknow. kinnie stuff youve all seen my blog theme#but then i was wearing my Fearless Year of Shadow(tm) shirt along with it and my irl bff was like.#'why are you wearing a sonic bracelet with that shirt if you love shadow so much 🤨' *#(he doesnt know much about sth stuff but ive infodumped abt shadow and his backstory to him many times)#and i was like 😭😭 BECAUSE I DONT HAVW A SHADOW KANDI BUT I WANNA MAKE ONE. I WILL SOON#so. now i do!! taking my ad/derall on the weekends always make me want to make more kandi. its great!#and yknow what else it makes me want to do...... talk more on here >:3333#me and my dad are gonna go to a local jazz festival this afternoon bc our jazz combo is playing at it!!#itll be fun. my dad said hes gonna get some food from this really good breakfast place on the way thwre#which is not the best part. the best part is outside the shop there is a wonderful kitty cat who hangs around the parking lot#bc hes owned by the ppl who own the bar right next door#its so great. everybody knows him (the cat) and loves him. the v/ape shop next door has a tip door set up for him even though the#bar owner ppl take care of him and take him to the vet nd stuff. my dad found a faceb/ook page somebody made for him#and apparently it just has pictures of ppl at the bar holding him. its so great and hilarious. this cat is so loved#by the v/ape shop people. by random people at this beachtown bar. by the breakfast shop people.#anyways uh. this post was abkut kandi wasnt it 😭😭😭 lol#cherry chortles#anyways the add/er/all also usually makes me want to look at and sort through my pkmn card collection. so imma do that#because my dads friend (and my friend too i guess! me and him exchange cat photos bc he has this adorable chunky cat named gremlin) that we#play bar trivia with on tuesdays (dw its not really even a bar. its mostly a restaurant) asked me abt my pokemon card collection#bc the final question was to put a few franchises (it was like. dora the ecplora and spide/rman etc. and pokemon) in order of revenue#and obvs pokemon was the top. bc of factors like the trading cards so thats how that came up#we didnt bet any of our points btw but we almost! got it right! the order was pk/mn dora spidamen friends (the tv seies) but we had spidman#as second. but we still won!! our team is on a two game winning streak!!! we always split the money so next week ill get another 8 dolla >:3#wow i havent hit tag limit yert#lol. yall'll open the 'see all tags' thing and boom. do you love the color of the sky type shit 😭😭😭#sorry that sounds too much like aave. i (white baby) cant be sayin that#cherrys kandi#okay well i had a tag with a verse from the ultimarw showdown bc i didnt know what else to say#but with my kandi tag and these two tags i have hit tag limit. thank you folks ill be here all night
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beetlejuicyy · 7 months
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Payback
Part 1 • Part 2
Bebe Gang AU
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Pairing: Gang member! Bada x reader
Synopsys: Bada takes you with her to a party. Her mistakes cost your safety as you're kidnapped by Wolf'Lo.
Warnings: none
Notes: im back!!! ive been wondering how to make this story more interesting so i hope you enjoy being kidnapped by chocol? hope you enjoy as always
Masterlist
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“That’s actually not as bad as I expected.” Bada sighed in relief when you came out of the room. She was lying down on your bed, scrolling through her phone while she waited for you to decide on what to wear.
“Do you mean I don’t know how to dress?” You asked. Still, you posed in front of her earning a wide and loving smile.
“No, I mean I thought you’d choose something more…” Bada waved her hand through the air as if searching for the word. “Racy? Is that a word?”
“So you thought I’d be a slut the very first time you actually include me in your mafia activities?” Bada rolled her eyes at you, as you checked your outfit in the mirror again.
“Don’t romanticize that.” She let the phone drop on the mattress as she walked behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist and looking at both of your reflections in the mirror. “I just know that I have a gorgeous girlfriend.”
“I can’t kick your ass in laser tag in a cocktail dress after all.” You said.
Your girlfriend had been very spontaneous when she asked if you wanted to go with her to a chill get together at one of the guys’ house that night. They were going to get a special delivery of laser tag guns and it was gonna be fun, she promised. You were almost euphoric when you heard her. Somehow, it felt like Bada was being more serious about your relationship, since she was willing to bring you in the middle of her friends.
You were anxious though. In the back of your mind you couldn’t completely ignore the fact that some of those people were dangerous. Of course, not to you in particular since you were Bada’s plus one. The people she introduced you to were a few sweet girls that, between dancing classes, were buying and selling guns and weapons on the black market. Your girlfriend was the one administrating this whole deal, and it took you a bit of time to wrap your head around the idea that the very dance academy they were working at was basically a money laundering scheme.
When you finally arrived to the place, you were left speechless. Bada grinned as she was undoing her seat belt.
“Am I in a rich people drama?” You mumbled to yourself and she giggled because that had been her reaction too when she came for the first time. Now it was quite obvious that you were at the head of the gang’s house. Because it was more of a mansion. It made sense now, how they could play laser tag at home with that much space. You got out, anxious knowing you were about to meet so many new people. But you were happy because Bada would be next to you at all times.
The moment you got in you noticed how something in her attitude changed. Of course, you thought, around all these people she was something other than the sweet and playful girlfriend. From the moment you saw her outfit, black ripped jeans, a tight crop top, a black and white racer jacket and a black cap, you thought she looked cool. There were times when she would effortlessly look like a model no matter what she put on and your heart fluttered knowing you could call this gorgeous girl yours. But now, in a room full of guys with sleeve tattoos and girls who looked like they could beat those very guys up, Bada had a much more imposing posture and an ever cooler air to her. She greeted a lot of people, high-fived some, said a few jokes here and there as you were making your way to the kitchen. She introduced you to everyone you met on your way but you would forget the names as soon as another person would pop out of nowhere. Some people would play cards at a table, others would do shots or play on the gaming consoles. In a room to the right you saw a ping pong table. You tried your best not to look at them in an inappropriate way, knowing you’ve never been to this kind of big parties with this kind of people before. But, as Bada was pulling you by the hand through the people, you knew you looked like a confused deer in the headlights and it was obvious by the way some people would look at you from head to toe that they knew you were an outsider.
The kitchen was thankfully not as crowded, except for some people who would just come and go occasionally. The chairs around the kitchen table were missing so you looked around awkwardly, not knowing how you should sit or act. Bada crouched down, opening a cabinet and reaching out to grab a can of beer for each of you. It looked like it was a secret place, because she waited for two guys to lesbe the kitchen disappointed they didn’t find any more alcohol in the fridge. You hopped on the table, finding it a decent spot to sit, as she leaned against the counter in front of you. You gulped down the beer, realizing how refreshing it finally felt to lessen the tension in your body.
“Someone was thirsty.” Bada said, looking at you and it seemed that only now when you were sitting on that table she noticed how good those low waist cargo pants were hugging your hips. You noticed her eyes quietly taking their time, resting on your bare shoulders as you were wearing that off the shoulder T-shirt she loved on you.
“It’s your fault for looking like that.” You said and she grinned, coming closer to you. She leaned over you, her hands placed on the table at your sides supporting her weight.
“We just got here.” She said and the visor of her cap pushed against your forehead playfully.
“Are we interrupting something?” Lusher asked, obviously knowing the answer already. Bada pulled back and fixed the cap on her head with both hands and you looked the other way in embarrassment. The girls giggled and Bada leaned against the counter just like before, folding her arms in an awkward gesture. She was always close to her girls, you knew that much, but she would always get shy when they would see her crossing the intimacy boundaries with you.
As Lusher, Tatter and Sowoen walked into the kitchen you noticed they were wearing the same jacket as your girlfriend. They really looked like a gang from the movies now. They chatted with you for a while, making sure you felt comfortable and spilling some tea on the people around. You also found out from them that Minah, CheChe and Kyma were on their way to bring the main attraction of the night, the laser tag guns. It was on Bada’s orders, Tatter said, because she trusted them enough to let them deliver some real guns to another gang in the area on their own. They must have already finished the exchange and should have been on their way with the toy guns for the party. You looked at your girlfriend who was rather silent, enjoying to simply watch over her girls chatting. Bada was a very good leader for them, you thought.
Dragged by Sowoen, all of you went to play some games. She was very excited because, apparently, it was her first time at this kind of party too, although she was more laidback and carefree than you since she was familiar with most of the people. It was impressive to see how every time you got close to some group people would greet Bada first and immediately offer to make room for you or simply give up the game for your sake. It happened with Xbox, twice with ping pong and some guys rushed to bring more chairs for you around the table where they were playing cards, even if you were just watching. Lusher winked at you playfully almost like saying I-told-you-so without words. You’ll see how popular Bada unnie is. She had told you in the kitchen. More than popular, you were amazed by how respected she was. She would only decline the favors once, in a very cheerful tone, mostly because that was the polite way. However, they would insist and she would always find a place for you first, then sit right next to you. Now she was playing cards with a few guys and you were quietly sitting next to her.
Outside, you could see a group of people smoking something thicker than the usual cigarettes and you guessed it was cigars. Tatter had told you there was no reason to feel out of place here, after all a lot of people were coming with their plus one. Looking around, you noticed a few couples getting a bit too touchy. You saw two girls hurrying up the stairs holding hands to what you assumed would be a bedroom.
“I’ll go take some air.” You leaned to whisper in her Bada’s ear and she only nodded, looking very concentrated on the cards in her hands.
“I’ll finish here and I’ll come too.” She replied.
The night air was cold but refreshing after spending so much time around so many people. It was almost midnight when you checked the time on your phone and decided to stay on the terrace where those guys had smoked before leaving. You could see Bada through the window, although she didn’t know you were watching her. You saw Lusher walk towards one of the guys and grab him by the hand, cards falling from his sleeve. Your girlfriend slammed her cards against the table laughing. She took her cap off her head and brushed her fingers through her hair, a habit of hers that you found very sexy. As grateful as you were that she brought you there with her, you really wanted to go home and get laid. Or maybe there was an empty room for the two of you right there.
At some point you heard the engine of a car, then you saw Bada stand up and joyfully greet someone you couldn’t see. Now she wasn’t in your view anymore but you guessed that Minah, CheChe and Kyma were finally joining the party with the long awaited laser tag guns. The music was still loud and you had no idea what was happening but you knew your girlfriend would come for you when she was done, as she promised. Besides, it was such a pretty night and you rarely got to be outside this late.
“The party’s inside.” You heard an unfamiliar voice and realized you’ve been too lost looking at the stars. At an arm’s length away from you was a woman with orange toned hair and brown eyes piercing through yours.
“I was… taking some fresh air.” You said, startled. It was almost terrifying to you that she could get so close without you noticing.
“You’re not from here, are you now?” She asked, a grin curling at the side of her lips. She took one hand out of her pants’ pocket in a greeting gesture, closing in the distance between the two of you. “I’m Chocol.” Her voice was low and relaxed and for a moment you thought that you shouldn’t be talking to people without Bada around.
“I’m y/n.” Pressured by the social expectations or simply by Chocol’s persuasive look you took her hand and answered appropriately.
“You really are not from here.” She repeated, making your heart beat faster. You felt threatened for some reason, although her voice was gentle and she never showed any intention of harming you. From her reaction, you could tell that your choice to take her hand and introduce yourself was the wrong one.
“I haven’t seen you around either.” You said, although it didn’t mean much. She let go of your hand.
“There’s a lot of people here tonight.” She shrugged off your comment and you couldn’t argue. “Let me guess. You’re… someone’s plus one?” Chocol asked. A part of you wanted to run back inside. But she gave you no reason to – besides her pressuring stare as if trying to read your mind.
“Yeah I’m here with Bada.” It seemed like the safest thing to do in that moment. You had just witnessed how respected your girlfriend was amongst all those people. Dropping her name would be your easy way to get rid of this uncomfortable situation.
“Really?” She grinned. She was quite good looking, you thought. Your instincts were telling you something was off but if you thought about it she had done nothing wrong. Maybe you were exaggerating. “You should stick around her then.”
You only nodded in agreement, hoping the conversation would end here. Maybe you would both go inside. The music volume inside the house lowered all of a sudden. You found it odd.
“Who knows what alpha males started fighting now.” Chocol yawned, noticing you looked worried. “I wouldn’t go inside.” She said, as if she could read your mind. She seemed to know a lot of things, after all it was obvious she was part of this world.
But she also told you to stick around your girlfriend. You pondered on those words for a moment. It had been a while since you were out and Bada said she would be coming for you but she hadn’t. Now it looked like something was going on inside and maybe that was keeping her busy. You decided to look for her.
Just when you were taking your first step towards the door, you felt Chocol’s hand grab you by the wrist. The sound of a familiar hip hop song was gradually getting closer and louder as a car passed the front gates. Before you could react, Chocol had both your hands behind your back and a hand over your mouth so you couldn’t let out a sound.
“Sorry babe. You’re just collateral damage.” She said and, as your back pressed against her body, you felt the rough edges of the gun she had under her jacked.
***
Bada was growing bored with the game. Maybe it was more rewarding to have you by her side as she flexed her popularity and skills because ever since you went outside she wasn’t really into it anymore. Lusher noticed it and did her a favor by pointing out the obviously cheating player and everyone dropped their cards. A few words about the situation were exchanged and then she could finally join you. By the time she was ready to excuse herself, three girls came in, followed by two guys carrying a large and seemingly heavy container. People got excited, the main attraction of the night was finally here.
On her way to you, Bada decided to welcome her girls and congratulate them for their first independent deal. She was always with them, guiding and protecting especially the younger ones, but it was time to put her trust in them, although some unfriendly voices had told her it was too early. Minah was experienced enough, she argued, to take CheChe and Kyma and seal a simple deal. After all, the biggest advantage Bada’s girls had was that, looking at them, no one would think they were smuggling guns. On many occasions their innocent faces and charms fooled the police and mafia alike.
“Look who’s here!” Bada’s excited voice covered the noise as she opened her arms to welcome the three girls in a warm hug. She was proud of them and they started talking over each other about who they met, how everything went and how scary Minah looked when she was serious. They laughed together as the guys put the container on the floor with a loud thud and opened it. “What’s wrong?” Bada asked as the murmur of people grew quiet and the mood seemed to change around them.
“These are not laser tag guns.” One of the guys said. Stepping closer towards the box to see with her own eyes, she felt her heart stop for a moment, realizing what was going on.
“Girls?” She asked hesitantly but they were already next to her, wide eyes looking down at the container full of pistols. “What are these?” She asked, in a scolding tone. However, it was obvious that more than mad she was growing worried.
“It’s… the delivery for Wolf’Lo.” Minah said in a low voice.
“And what did you deliver?”
“If the real guns are here…” CheChe muttered but the pressure of everyone watching, witnessing a mistake like this was too pressuring to let her finish the sentence.
“Didn’t you open the container in front of them? Who picked them up?” Bada inquired. She had thought that it was an easy task, they never had issues with the girls from Wolf’Lo and besides she was friends with Yeni Cho, who assured her she would pick up the delivery. Everything was supposed to go smoothly, it should have been an opportunity for her youngest members to gain confidence and experience on their own.
“Yeni Cho said it’s not necessary… That she trusts us.” Minah answered.
“You’re supposed to do it no matter what.” Bada said between clenched teeth. “You just sold toy guns to one of the biggest and oldest mafia network in the country.” She knew she had to do some damage control. Give some calls, assure people it was a genuine mistake. Although, in this world, people rarely cared. She only prayed that Yeni had the sense to check the guns before taking them to her team. The music coming from the speakers was long paused. As she was pondering in silence on what was the best approach in the situation, the growing sound of a hip hop track signaled they had company.
“I’ll handle it.” Bada said when a few friends of hers showed their support, ready to fight if necessary. Things had to be clarified as calmly as possible.
She stormed outside the house with more people following behind, the sound of charging guns clicking alongside their steps. Bada was grateful that you were not there at the moment, you were safer this way.
A black SUV pulled up right in front of the house. It was indeed the source of the loud classic hip hop song that stopped once the engine of the car stopped as well. Bada’s fists clenched as three people got out of the car and walked towards them in an almost insultingly relaxed manner.
“Bada Lee, now you have the decency to show up.” The woman walking at the front said in a cocky tone. She had short bleached blonde hair and an annoyed grin. Behind her, a girl with brown hair and gentle features was standing awkwardly, a totally opposite attitude.
“You know it was a genuine mistake, Halo.” Bada said with a calm and conciliatory tone. Halo only clicked her tongue in disapproval. “Yeni, tell her.” She pleaded. The brown haired girl kept looking down at the ground, gulping in guilt.
“Where there’s respect there’s no room for mistakes.” The third person said, a tall lanky even more threatening woman than Halo although she was half a step behind her.
“Tell her, Yeni.” Halo said mockingly. “Isn’t Baby Sleek right? Where’s the respect?”
They were just three women in front of tens of people with Bada in the front but, besides Yeni, the other two didn’t seem scared or intimidated. On the contrary, the power dynamic was the opposite of their numbers, judging by their attitude.
“We have your guns. We can give them to you right away. This misunderstanding can be settled.” Bada tried not to let herself be intimidated. Underneath the visor of her cap her eyes were piercing directly into Halo’s eyes. The more you showed them your fears, the easier they won. That was the first lesson she learned on the streets.
“And how do you settle the moral damage this misunderstanding has brought on us?” Baby Sleek asked back. Halo only nodded in approval.
“You must know that it is a very humiliating gesture. You sent your kids to meet our people and didn’t even bother showing up. Are we that irrelevant to you, Bada?” Halo continued.
“No.” Bada had no choice but to play by their rules. “What’s your price?”
“Three times as many guns. And our money back.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Yeni muttered behind Halo. She had been silent all that time. A part of the fault was hers, she knew, but Halo would never admit that in front of outsiders.
“It is a bit unreasonable for our part.” Bada replied.
“We take what’s ours, even if you give it or not. Although, for the sake of our future business partnerships, it would be nice of you to comply.” Halo was close to mocking her now. Bada felt like her blood was about to explode in her veins. How was she supposed to find that many guns and cover their expenses?
“Halo, please.” She asked again, with a stern tone. “You know it can’t be done.”
“Not even for the sake of your pretty girl?” Another voice ringed in everyone’s ears. Turning to the side, Bada’s eyes widened and all her tough act vanished. There you were, with a gun to your head, a woman taller than you keeping your hands behind your back roughly. You looked terrified, you could hardly breathe, and when your eyes finally met hers tears started rolling down your cheeks.
“Let her go!” Bada yelled, taking a few steps in Chocol’s direction. In a instant, the gun at your head clicked, ready to shoot at the next pull. All the people behind Bada took out their guns and pointed them towards Chocol, and you, or towards the other three women. Halo only laughed, her posture still very much relaxed even with all those guns pointed at her. “Drop the guns, idiots!” Bada’s voice was loud and angry and desperate as she gestured to her friends without taking her eyes off you.
“Good choice.” Chocol said. She pushed you forward, forcing you to walk towards Halo and the others, passing unnecessarily close to Bada in your way. “Don’t worry.” The red haired woman said winking at your girlfriend. “I know how to treat pretty girls.”
It was impossible for her to stand still. Her fists ached for violence and she wouldn’t stop until you were safe back in her arms. But she didn’t have that luxury now. Tatter and Lusher had to forcefully hold her back for your sake, as Chocol pushed you to walk towards the car. Halo walked up to Bada until they were inches apart. Although she was significantly taller than Halo, the shorter woman was dominating as Bada kept on fighting to free herself from her friends’ grip.
“You have until dawn.” Halo said. “Three times the amount of guns and the money back in exchange for your little bitch. Let’s see how much you care about her.”
With that she turned around and walked back to the car, getting in the driver seat. Bada watched as the car got smaller and smaller as it drove off, and she fell to the ground when Lusher and Tatter finally let her go. She was crying and hitting her bare fists on the asphalt, as the mass of people behind her had already started making calls at midnight trying to find the amount of guns necessary until dawn.
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stuffeddeer · 3 months
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hii hru? i have a fic request umm i have this idea thats been sitting in my head for TOO LONG... i need to get it out how would bsd men (your choice) react to a reader who is too nice of a person, basically an ANGEL but seeks love from people who treats them like shit.,,.,. n theyre always like "nono theyre a great friend" (i need to stop doing this though it happens too many times)
ok bye!! have a lovely day!!!!!!
if someone treats me wrongly i will treat them wrongER. i do not start shit but i will End It. i included Dazai, Ranpo, Nikolai, Atsushi and Chuuya :) ive never written for Chuuya and Atsushi but i just kept typing so umm mb!! don’t read the last two unless ur crazy
Dazai would be so frustrated internally. He had been one of those people you give such patience to, and he knows everyone else is only preying that kind nature. He’d subtly try and point out that what they’re doing is bad, but he has always preferred a less direct approach. Threatening. Okay, yes yes, Dazai has turned over a new leaf, but as long as he doesn’t hurt or kill it’s fine, right? Are mild and “empty” threats really that bad? He’d chase away those people easily, helping you to meet others like his coworkers at the Agency or reminding you of the good friends you have and how you should spend more time with them. If you’re the type to tolerate rudeness from others but Not tolerate it when people are rude to your friends, Dazai would lie and claim that these assholes wronged him in some devastating way so you never forgive them.
Ranpo would (metaphorically) hit you upside the head. What do you think you’re doing, letting anyone treat you as less than you are? Not because he cares for you (so he claims), but because you’re associated with him! By allowing these, for lack of a better word, losers to treat you so awfully, you’re taking down his image with you! How would people react if they knew that the greatest detective allowed his friend (..?) to be treated so horribly? That he of all people couldn’t knock some sense into you? He’d huff, reminding you that you’d only need him and the Agency anyway, so why waste your time with such imbeciles 🙄
Nikolai is the one who treats you like shit. He hadn’t originally meant to — not any more than usual, that is — but watching you defend horrible actions from people that didn’t matter made him wonder if you’d do the same for those that do (being him, of course). He’d change at the drop of a hat, doting on you and cherishing you to kicking you out and ghosting you for weeks. But when he messaged you once again, you’d find yourself back on a bus approaching his apartment. Because of course you are, how could you leave Nikolai when he’s been so kind to you? He said he was busy, and what reason did you have not to believe him?
Atsushi would see himself in you but it’d just be a cycle. You’d see others treating him poorly and get angry, and he’d see people doing that with you, but you both would defend your “friends” up and down until exhaustion kept you from continuing. Atsushi is used to being used, so it’s fine, and seemingly so are you, so you’re fine, and it just repeats forever. But, if Atsushi’s options are to hang out with you or those jerks, then you’ll just have to spend more time with him. And if your options are to hang out with him or those jerks, he’ll just have to spend more time with you. The cycle ends, but without any real confrontation, which is how the both of you would prefer it.
Chuuya: your loyal guard dog. If he can’t convince you not to see “those piece of shit, dumbass jerks” ever again he’d tag along. Everything except barking would be on the table - he’d growl when they talked over you or break a finger if he had to. This is the man you want by your side, because he’d fight for your honor when he needs to or take you back to his place for a soothing spa-adjacent bath with amazing scented candles and over the top bubbles, maybe a glass of expensive wine, to unwind and forget it all. Also he’d block their numbers from your phone and threaten them to never contact you again 💀
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onginlove · 10 months
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jealous 2
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pairing: 1610!miles + black!fem!reader
summary: gwen. it’s all about gwen. miles never even talks about you. gwen
warning: jealousy
a/n: the first part was supposed to be a little drabble bc I was bored but so many ppl wanted a part 2 tell me if u wanna be tagged in this series
this one is more story like so it is longer
im not good with second part stuff so sorry if this part is disappointing 😭😔
part 1 | part 3
taking requests for 42!myles and miles
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you just came home from school, vision academy. you wanted to talk to miles but he was wrapped around gwen’s finger.
you took your hair out of the puff it was in and did 4 parts, braided it, and put on your bonnet.
you hopped into bed, not wanting to ever leave, of course, you would need to though.
later on today is homecoming and you already have your stuff settled. but, you were wondering if you would even go.
you were planning on asking miles but he already asked gwen.
gwen.
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it was 5:33pm and it starts at 6. you procrastinated on getting ready because you didn’t really feel like getting up (mood).
after you got your makeup, and hair done, you went ahead and put on your dress.
you went to the living room to put on your shoes and head out but you got stopped.
“aye, you didn’t think you were gonna walk there, did you?”
“mom, ill be fine.”
“no, im taking you. plus, I need to take pictures.”
she was taking photos until her phone said “storage full.”… yea..
you headed inside the car and you mom pulled out of the driveway and headed towards visions.
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on the ride there, you saw other people in their suits and dresses. they looked very good in their outfits while you thought you looked like a plum.
forcing yourself to, you texted miles.
-
m&m ❤️
”you at homecoming yet?”
read at 5:51pm
-
since he didn’t answer, you assumed he was with gwen already having the time of her life.
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you closed the car door, telling your mom bye. you walked up the stairs and entered the main area to see everyone dress up and decorations.
you quickly saw miles and waved but he was too busy laughing with gwen.
your smile turned into a small frown and you walked towards him.
“hey miles! i, uh, like your suit.”
“thanks. im matching with gwen.”
“I thought we were supposed to match.”
“oh yea, but then gwen wanted to do blue. plus, it matches the color dress I bought for her.”
“that makes sense.”
you guys just sat in silence while there was music playing and people laughing. everyone was having a good time besides you.
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about 1 hour later, you were having a semi good time. but, miles have been all over gwen and barely even noticed you.
“imma get punch. want some y/n?”
“no, im good. thanks.”
you understood why he liked gwen so much. she was nice and pretty and not you.
once again, you and miles sat in silence, until you broke it.
“why don’t you talk to me as much?”
“i- i mean, your always busy.”
“no, im not.”
“well, you never talk to me.”
“I try to talk to you but you just turn me away.”
“i- i do?”
“yes, you do.”
“I understand that you like her but you don’t have to shut me out.”
“I didn’t notice that i was..”
“you never do.”
“wait, y/n, I can explain-“
“no, it’s fine. i knew you never truly liked me.”
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MILES POV
I watched as she walked away. i didnt mean to shut her out. ive just been really worked up.
I tried to go after her but I lost her in the crowd of people.
“y/n? y/n!”
she left.
I knew I messed up big time. y/n is my best friend. how could I neglect her like that?
“hey, I got the punch. sorry it took so-“
“sorry gwen, I have to go.”
“but, homecoming isn’t over?”
“sorry.”
I dashed out the room, looking for y/n.
hopefully she’s close by.
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@simpfl369 @lalaisasloveudj @ch6ntt @anikaluv @luvvvjada
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zerobaselove · 7 months
Text
brain freeze | sung hanbin
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pairing: frozen yogurt worker! hanbin x regular customer! reader
genre: fluff, strangers to friends to lovers ?? kinda ??
word count: 5067
warnings: none i don't think! lowercase intended, not proofread, or even read or written in one sitting truthfully
notes: thank u to tiff for convincing me to write this after our zb1 as part time workers conversation, it's honestly rlly rough but i like the concept so :]] i hope u guys like it,, especially since ive been mia </3
"welcome to cosmic swirls! our frozen yogurt is over on that wall there and the toppings are just to the right! you can come up here when you're all ready and i can ring you up!"
the cheerful boy at the front counter beamed at you as you walked through the front door of the new frozen yogurt shop in town, gesturing to the other side of the store. you gave him a smile and a small thank you as you followed the bright-coloured walls towards the frozen yogurt. after a long day at work, you couldn't help but give in to the temptation of trying the new sweet treats just across the street from your work.
the shop was lined with bright purple and blue paint and star decals, a wall filled with every topping you can imagine, and the plethora of flavours of frozen yogurt that lined where you stood. there was a faint hum of whatever tune was playing on the radio, and you could faintly hear the cute worker shuffling around at the counter. you honestly weren't expecting it to be so empty, but how many people were getting frozen yogurt on a thursday night, right?
"hmm," you wondered aloud, browsing the options in front of you, unable to decide on just one.
"i recommend the cotton candy!" the cute boy chimed up, watching as you admired the machines in front of you. "ooh, i like the sound of that," you smiled, grabbing a cup and filling it with the frozen dessert. you added a few simple toppings before walking over to the counter where the boy stood.
after ringing you up and paying for your treat, the boy, who you've noticed is named hanbin, judging by his name tag, speaks up. "hope you like my recommendation!" a wide smile crosses his face, gesturing to the pink and blue swirled frozen yogurt in your cup.
"and if i don't?" you teased, giving hanbin a mischievous grin. "well," he pondered for a moment, "then i owe you a new one! but i bet you'll love it, scouts honour!"
you let out a laugh at the boy with his hand up in the air, "well i'll keep you updated." you laughed again as you went to go sit down, scrolling through your phone as you tried the frozen yogurt, pleasantly surprised at how good it was. i guess that's why everyone's been talking about this place lately, you thought to yourself.
finishing up your treat, you threw out the cup and walked back to the counter, getting hanbin's attention. "so?" he started, a smile on his face as he waited to hear your review.
"hated it!" you said, joking around with the boy as a laugh passed your lips. he feigned offence, a hand coming to his chest dramatically as if you had personally struck his heart. "no way!! how could you!" the two of you burst into a fit of giggles, drawing the attention of the lone couple in the corner before covering your mouth with your palm.
calming down a bit, you continued, "guess i'll just have to come back and try a different flavour next time!" you insisted.
"i guess you will!"
and you did. in the coming weeks, you found yourself returning to the shop more times than you could consider normal. every time, trying a new flavour than before. had to give it all a shot right? even if some nights left you with a cup of half-eaten frozen yogurt or more toppings than dessert in an attempt to drown out a flavour you weren't particularly fond of.
what you had grown quite fond of though was the boy behind the counter. hanbin. over the weeks you had gotten to know hanbin a bit; often you were there late, one of the last people there at that time, which gave you two time to talk and get to know each other a bit.
what you had learned was that hanbin was a dancer outside of his daily employment. most of the time his paychecks went to different classes with teachers he admired. something about "wanting to learn from the best." you also learned that he had a small hamster plushie that he kept behind the counter with him, even got him a miniature apron that you could only imagine he stole from a small doll. but sometimes kids would come in and he'd show off his little friend, loving to watch the way they got excited over the worker hamster. it was cute. he was cute.
and with that thought clouding your brain like an all too familiar brain freeze, you walked through the familiar front doors yet again, the jingle of the bell signaling your entrance had become something you were sure you'd hear in your dreams.
"on time as usual," hanbin smiled at your familiar face, "what flavour are you going to try today?" he questioned as he watched you saunter over to the machines, grabbing a cup before staring them down. "is the coconut any good?"
"never tried it honestly," he said simply, leaving you shocked. it was the first flavour so far that he hasn't had, "heard it's good though! you'll have to let me know!" his usual smile plastered on his face, you once again end up mirroring his expression, "guess i'll have to get it then!"
you found yourself at what you considered your usual table now, the one closest to the front counter. you like to tell yourself it was because it was convenient but you know it was just so it was easier to talk to hanbin. but that wasn't a crime!
a few minutes had passed and hanbin found himself sitting with you at the table, a now regular occurrence when there were no other customers around. "how is it?"
you plunged the spoon into the dessert, holding it up to the boy, "give it a try," you hadn't really thought about the intimacy of your offer, but hanbin didn't give it a second thought as he took a bite off of your spoon, letting out a hum of approval. "not too bad." he said, covering his mouth.
like many other nights, the two of you let your conversations run freely, only stopping to glance at the time on your phone; 11:05.
"shit hanbin," you quickly stood up, grabbing your phone and cup, "i didn't mean to keep you past close. i'm sure you wanna go home after a long day." you can't help but shake your head at your innate ability to get lost in time.
he let out a chuckle at your sudden urgency, "hey no rush, i honestly like the company, it gets pretty lonely here at night." his reassurance helped calm your guilt for a moment, "plus there's not much left to do to close up." he stacked the final chairs, the ones you had been sat at, as he continued. "but it's getting late, you should be heading home, no?" he sounded almost worried at you being out so late, and your heart swelled a bit at the thought.
"yeah i probably should head back," you let out a small sigh at the idea of ending the night with hanbin, "sorry again hanbin, and please get home safe." you gave him a sheepish smile as you turned on your heel to leave.
"make sure you get home safe too! what would i do without my favourite customer?" he joked, not knowing the way your heart skipped a beat at being called his favourite.
you were running out of excuses, or rather flavours; reasons to be at the frozen yogurt shop as much as you were.
"what are you gonna do when there's nothing new to try?" hanbin laughed, watching as you had narrowed it down to your last few choices of untouched flavours.
"die, maybe." you say nonchalantly, earning a laugh from the boy at the counter, finding your dramatics endearing. "you could just try every combination of flavours with every topping." hanbin suggested, a smug smile on his face.
you laughed, shaking your head, "hanbin that would take forever."
"and?" he questioned, "just means more time with me!"
he did have a good point, as silly as the idea sounded. you'd honestly do anything to give you an excuse to hang out with the boy more. except actually asking him out, of course.
what you didn't know was that despite the jokes, hanbin was honestly hoping you would take the idea somewhat seriously. one or two more guaranteed visits did not sound like enough time for him to finally gain the courage to ask you out, or even to get your number, so he felt like he needed all the time he could get.
you weren't the only one who had grown fond of your frequent visits. you had quickly become the thing hanbin looked forward to every week. it had only been a few months of small chats across counters and plastic tables, but hanbin could've sworn he was falling for you, at least in some capacity.
so instead of either of you asking the other out, you just sat together again like every visit, giggling and talking about anything and everything, sometimes even sharing bites of your dessert as you rambled on about an interaction at work that day. it was the least you could give him for listening to your rants.
instead of leaving when you were finished, you took it upon yourself to help with stacking the chairs, hopefully as an apology for always keeping the boy so late.
he couldn't help but smile at the gesture, "you don't have to do that y/n, i'm the one who works here not you." you simply smiled and shook your head, "but it gives me an excuse to stay here with you longer," you finished stacking the last table on your side of the room, "plus it's the least i could do."
"well i appreciate it," a shy smile spread across his face, trying to mentally stop a blush from rising to his cheeks at the thought of you wanted to stay with him longer. god i need to hurry up and ask them out. the thought echoed in his brain as he grabbed the key to lock up, walking with you to the door in a comfortable silence.
you both said your goodbyes, waving as you split off in opposite directions. you spent your walk home that night thinking more about the boy than usual, and as if connected telepathically, hanbin happened to have you at the forefront of his mind the whole drive home. not that he was complaining.
this was the time, hanbin reassured himself. this was when he'd finally ask you out, give you his number, get your number. something. anything. but as he watched the hands on the clock move at an agonizing pace, seemingly taunting him, he couldn't help but second guess himself.
in the midst of his self doubt, the familiar chime rang through the quiet store, right on schedule. and in you walked, dressed up nicer than usual. not that you didn't look great all the time to hanbin, but you looked particularly nice this evening.
"bad news hanbin," you said, walking up to the counter, "i have to take it to go tonight," your lips pressed into a frown. he looked quizzically at you, urging you to continue. "heading to my brother's graduation." you continued simply.
"and yet you still came in for frozen yogurt?" he questioned, a small chuckle escaping his lips. "well i didn't wanna miss my flavour this week," you exclaimed, as if making a very obvious point, "plus i don't think i could go a whole extra week without seeing you, c'mon now."
you kept talking as you filled up your first cup, one of the last flavours that you hadn't tried. setting it on the counter, you started grabbing the second, taking the opportunity to surprise your brother with some of the frozen yogurt you had been raving about.
tapping your card on the machine, and saying your farewell, you turned to leave the small shop and head on your way. but not before hanbin could stop you.
"wait!" he called out, quickly jogging up to you with a napkin in hand, "you might need this, for the road," a hand came to the back of his neck, rubbing sheepishly. "and uh, one minute." he quickly rushed to the back of the shop, where you assumed he kept his things, reemerging from the back door with a jacket in hand. "it's cold out there, staying warm is important, especially if you're eating frozen yogurt."
he lightly placed the jacket around your shoulders, letting the fabric drape along your frame. he took a second to catch his breath, partially from the running back and forth, and partially from the sight of you in his jacket. he quickly tried to peel his eyes off of you before his thoughts got the best of him, and luckily, that led hanbin to miss the way your cheeks heated up at the gesture.
after a moment of silence and thumping hearts, you said your goodbyes once more, accompanied by a thank you from yourself as you headed out the door.
as opposed to the usual, this time you found yourself sitting with your brother indulging in the sweet treat. "since when did you wear jackets like that?" your brother inquired, glancing over the clearly oversized mens jacket. you tried to shrug the question off, attempting to act nonchalant, "since today i guess." you brought the spoon up to your mouth to take another bite, avoiding any further answers.
"y/n, how dumb do you think i am." your brother chuckled, shaking his head at your poor attempt at an excuse, "who gave it to you?"
you quickly gave up on the facade, knowing you couldn't lie to your brother. "just the guy from the frozen yogurt place," your voice trailed off as you watched a shit-eating grin spread across his face. "i've never heard of a frozen yogurt place lending jackets to customers, or any business really." he said sarcastically, laughing at the way your face quickly heated in embarrassment, only stopping to continue teasing you.
"so do you like this boy?" he asked, as if your reaction hadn't given it away. you gave a shy nod as you hummed a confirmation, not only admitting it to your brother but also to yourself. "well as long as he treats you right, i approve, otherwise he better watch out, i bet i could take him anyways."
you couldn't help but laugh at your brothers weak attempt at intimidation, even getting a bit of frozen yogurt on your face in the process, causing your brother to erupt into laughter himself. "hold on," you reached into the pocket of the jacket, pulling out the napkin hanbin had given you as you were leaving, only now you had noticed something you didn't earlier.
there was something scribbled on the napkin. a number. hanbin's number, next to a small scrawled note reading, "in case you ever want to get some real food." a small heart outlined beside the message, even a small tear where the pen had ripped through the thin napkin.
you couldn't wait to get home that night. as soon as you had gotten into the comfort of your room, you grabbed the napkin again, quickly unlocking your phone and typing in the series of numbers messily written across.
"hey, it's y/n ^^" you typed simply, hoping the emoticon didn't feel too awkward as you couldn't stop your heart from beating out of your chest. the feeling of unstoppable palpitations only amplified as you watched the typing bubble quickly appear on the other side of the screen.
the seconds seemed to slow as you watched the typing bubble disappear, only to reappear once more before a message rang through.
"y/n! how'd your brother's graduation go??"
you quickly typed back a reply, giving a positive recollection of the night, selectively withholding the small confessional about the boy you were texting.
you spent your night getting ready for bed at a slower pace than usual, every minute or so your phone would ding with a message from hanbin, and you couldn't stop yourself from reaching for your phone to respond.
before you knew it, hours had gone by and through blurry eyes you faintly read out the time; 3:47am.
"hanbin,," you typed, pressing send on the short message for suspense, "did you realize it's nearly 4am"
his reply came faster than you thought, "shit don't you have to work in the morning?" you thought it was endearing that despite you both being awake, he was still worried about your wellbeing and rest.
after saying goodnight and tucking yourself into bed for the last time that night, you let yourself drift off, thoughts of the boy still swirling around your brain as you fell into a deep sleep.
after the longest friday of your life, you finally got to return to the comfort of your home, and you couldn't have been more thankful. checking the time and noticing that hanbin would still be at work, you decided to do a bit of self-care. as silly as it sounded, you just wanted the time to pass so you could talk to him more.
a nice hot shower and face mask later, and your phone dinged with a message.
"guess who's off for the weekend!" hanbin's name and photo popped up accompanying the message.
"hmm, me?" you typed, laughing as you pressed send, getting an excited "no way!! you too??" in response.
you spent the rest of your evening texting the boy while you listened to the white noise of whatever tv show was quietly playing in the background. that was until, hanbin asked if you wanted to call.
with an overly eager yes, you watched his name pop up again, this time your finger hovering over the answer button as you heard your ringtone blare through your speakers.
"hanbin~" you dragged out, nearly hearing the boy smile on the other end. "y/n~" he mirrored, a small chuckle escaping his lips after.
the conversations carried on into the deep hours of the night, yawns interrupting your thoughts as the time went on, leading hanbin's voice to become laced with concern.
"are you getting sleepy?" he questioned softly, his tone almost putting you to sleep in itself. you responded with a faint hum and nod, even if he couldn't see you. "go to sleep, love. don't let me keep you up." he muttered, keeping quiet as to not wake you.
in your tired state you couldn't quite process the pet name, but you were sure it would plague your mind once you were more awake.
you attempted to mutter back an argument, but before you knew it, your eyes had fallen shut to the sound of hanbin mumbling about something you couldn't quite make out.
hanbin thought it was cute; your faint snores and soft rustling in your sleeping state. he stayed on the call for a while before hanging up, leaving you to sleep peacefully. deciding it was time to head to bed himself, he got comfy in bed and opened your messages for one last time that night.
"sleep tight <3 didn't wanna accidentally wake you so i hung up." he pressed send, hovering over the keyboard for one last message, one that left his heart pounding through his chest. "and uh," he typed out, "if you're free today, maybe we can go to that diner downtown, or anywhere really, if you'd like... okay goodnight!"
he breathed out a sigh as he sent the last message, worry and self doubt taking over his mind as he considered the possibility of you rejecting his offer. but it was too late now, the message had been sent and now all he had to do was wait.
what would usually be a peaceful morning was anything but; as soon as the morning fog in your mind cleared, the night before had flooded back to you in a flash, embarrassment taking over as you failed to remember hanging up or saying goodnight before falling asleep. the only thing your brain could remember was a faint "go to sleep love" echoing over and over in hanbin's soft voice, driving you to near insanity as you opened your phone to a few notifications from the boy himself.
it only took a moment of skimming past the words on your screen before you were eagerly typing a response, accepting the offer to go out followed by a brief apology for falling asleep.
instead of a typing bubble appearing on your screen, it was a call answer screen, which you answered without much thought.
"morning~" you singsonged, hearing hanbin shuffle before responding with a raspy, sleep ridden "good morning y/n."
you swore your head was spinning at the new tone from hanbin, an unexpected change from his usual cheery voice. you took a moment to collect your thoughts before speaking up again, "d'you just wake up?"
he hummed in response, hearing his run this hand through is hair. "then why'd you call me silly?" you questioned, wondering if he had considered just typing a response when he was more awake.
"wanted to hear your voice," he sleepily mumbled, not quite aware of his own confession until it had already left his lips. you muttered a small "oh," taking another moment to process what the boy had said before attempting to come up with a response. you stuttered out a small chuckle and a teasing "well here i am" before switching the subject.
once hanbin was a bit more awake, the two of you confirmed your plans for the day; deciding that hanbin would come pick you up around 5pm and you'd go head out to a diner for some food. "it's a date," you exclaimed, your smile audible through the phone, causing hanbin to smile in return, unknown to you.
"sounds perfect," he hummed, "see you then y/n."
anxiously checking the clock for the nth time, you read the seemingly unchanging time; 4:55pm. you couldn't help but fiddle with the hem of your jacket, or rather hanbin's jacket, in an attempt to calm your nerves. the faint lingering smell of his cologne on the jacket helped ease your mind as you awaited the boy's arrival.
a few minutes had passed while you were lost in your thoughts, only pulled out from your endless what if's by a knock at the door.
you opened the door you had been pacing in front of, leaving the boy to come into view. what you hadn't considered until this moment in time was that this was your first time seeing him out of the bright-coloured uniform and apron he usually adorned at the frozen yogurt shop. instead he sported a loose fitting white t-shirt, a light wash jean jacket atop his shoulders. he looked good.
"oh hi," you managed to stutter out, trying to pick up your jaw that was hanging open. "you look nice," you muttered, eyes trailing over his frame, stopping for a moment on a tattoo that hadn't been visible in his usual attire. a delicate celestial scene placed between his collarbones, lying between the chains of a dainty rose necklace that lay on his chest.
he let out a shy chuckle at the compliment, taking notice of your wandering eyes, "hey that's my line!" he said, almost flustered as he looked over your figure hiding in his jacket yet again. "but really, you look great y/n," he smiled, "you might look better in that jacket than i do."
you simply scoffed in denial and shook your head before the boy spoke up once more, "oh, these are for you," he gestured to the flowers you only just now realized were in his hands. a small bouquet decorated with carnations and roses, small blooms of baby's breath scattered between.
a small gasp escaped your chest as you admired the bright flowers, "they're beautiful hanbin, thank you, you really didn't have to." he simply smiled, muttering a "but i wanted to," which caused you to blush as you welcomed him inside for a moment.
"let me just put these in a vase and we can go!"
hanbin took a moment to admire your cozy home. the walls adorned with simplistic art and photography, small succulents littering every surface you could find room. it felt so unapologetically you, and he loved it.
"your place is gorgeous," he smiled, his eyes, and subsequently his legs, following behind you into the kitchen. you muttered a small thank you, chatting briefly about a recent piece you had thrifted for the quaint apartment, and hanbin couldn't help but smile at the joy radiating off of you as you talked about something you loved.
once your new flowers were safe in a vase on your counter, you followed hanbin out to his car; the boy even opening your door for you. "what a gentleman," you chuckled, smiling and speaking a soft "thank you" as you looked around the car. it was nice; the air freshener smelled like citrus and sitting snug in the cupholder was none other than the small hamster plush you had seen at the frozen yogurt shop, no longer adorning the small apron.
"so you really do take him everywhere," you let out a small giggle at the boy's surprisingly adorable antics as he got into the drivers seat. he only smiled sheepishly in return, "well of course, i can't leave him at work that wouldn't be fair, now would it?"
the two of you burst into a fit of giggles as the car started up, the radio beginning to quietly play some r&b tune; you even found yourself bopping your head to the unfamiliar song as you and hanbin made easy conversation, as usual. the only difference this time was your eyes were trained on hanbin's hand on the wheel, the other resting on the console between the two of you.
you couldn't lie; watching hanbin drive so relaxed, his gaze shifting from the road ahead to you periodically. it was nearly enough to take your breath away. it was hard to believe that months ago, he was just the guy who worked at the frozen yogurt shop you decided to stop in to check out, and now you were here, in his car, on your way to what you hoped was considered a real date.
it wasn't long before the two of you had arrived to the diner; hanbin being the gentleman he was, nearly raced out of the car just to come open your door for you. it was endearing.
"finally some sustenance," you laughed, eyeing up the plate of food in front of you, "can't live off of frozen yogurt forever."
"i always wondered why you're in there so often," hanbin let his thoughts slip his mind and past his mouth, "not that i'm judging though," he quickly continued, " just seems like you'd get sick of frozen yogurt by now"
he was partially right; there was only so much frozen yogurt one person could handle. only so many brain freezes one could endure. "honestly," you popped a fry in your mouth, "i kind of am, that's why i always get a different flavour," you said matter-of-factly, "but it helps that you're there," your voice trailed off at the end, almost embarrassed by the words leaving your mouth.
hanbin seemed rather happy with your answer, a smug smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, "are you saying you've been coming to the shop to see me?" the confident tone in his voice made your brain spin, watching as he proudly took a sip of his milkshake as he awaited whatever response you could come up with.
you nervously bit your lip as you tried your hardest to form a coherent thought, "well i mean," you paused, "look at you, i'm sure you're a huge draw in for customers," you pushed out a small laugh to prevent yourself from humiliating yourself in front of the boy.
"y/n," hanbin smiled again, somehow more smug than before despite his cheeks now flushing a light shade of pink, "are you calling me attractive?"
the accusation nearly made you choke on your drink as you realized the implication of your earlier statement; and sure, it's what you were thinking, but it's not exactly what you meant to say.
deciding there was no going back now, you simply muttered a quiet agreement, hoping that would be enough for the boy. it wasn't.
"sorry what's that? i couldn't hear you," he teased, enjoying the way your ears turned bright red under the dim overhead lights. this time you lightly cleared your throat, repeating the confirmation at an audible volume. "god you're cute," hanbin muttered, lightly shaking his head at your endearing antics.
you let out a laugh for the nth time that night, "is that what you tell all your customers hanbin? that's quite the way to get sales." it was your turn to tease the boy, wanting to see just how serious he was about it all.
"only the customers i have a crush on," he said plainly, smiling as he watched your jaw drop at the blatant confession. it was as if your brain had effectively shut down, or maybe short circuited. some other form of brain freeze, perhaps? you couldn't decide as it took what felt like forever for your brain to come up with a quip.
trying to keep the light atmosphere, you continued joking around, "that's not going to get you employee of the month, you know."
hanbin only reached across the table, placing a hand on top of yours; and you could've sworn your skin was on fire at the contact. looking up at you with a sincere look in his eyes, you struggled to keep eye contact with the pretty boy sitting in front of you. it felt like you were melting under his gaze.
"well i have other priorities now," he breathed out, his voice quieter than before, "and number one on the list is making you mine."
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I think that the switch from reddit to tumblr is particularly difficult for me so far, and i know it's just been a few days, but i wonder if other people are having these issues as well, so i thought it might be a decent idea to write out my thoughts here.
-first off, i was a lurker almost exclusively on reddit. Much more introverted, and i only spoke about things i knew or if i knew id get karma for it (being a person with RSD, i kind of hated downvotes, regardless if they were just "useless internet points" or not).
-tumblr requires you to be more interactive and speak out more with its etiquette, by reblogging and so forth (ive read in a few places that comments sections werent used much before the refugees invaded tumblr, which i think seems like a cool positive)
-while there arent any downvotes, i still feel anxious to talk/put myself out there. Am i reblogging right? Are my tags funny? Is my blog a big uninteresting mess?
This isnt a problem with the site itself, but with me obviously. But we are talking about my difficulty here, so it still needs to be said.
-the communities arent built in here like they were with reddit, so you sort of have to find it, and the regular posters who have the kind of quality content you want. This is pretty cool, but vastly different from reddit and im having a tough time getting used to it.
-there's definitely a few people i missed from the reddit communities i was in, and i wish i knew if they were here or not. (Talking about you, u/nepalman230)
All this being said, holy hell, its wild. Im putting my thoughts out here right now, and while it does feel....uncomfy, i think its more because im not used to it. It feels more like shouting out to the void. Maybe itll talk back. Who knows?
But i think this site is very neat, and i love love LOVE how much more inclusive tumblr is. Im straight and a cis male, but there were a lot of toxic communities that would just not let people be who they say they are, and im so glad that all my LGBTQ+ friends have a more inclusive place like this, and that so many have migrated over here. I wish i wouldve come here sooner.
Im also very grateful to all you veteran tumblr users putting in the effort to help us out. Youve put so much out here for us, to help us better understand how to navigate these new waters, and honestly? I'd have been really screwed without the help ive received, because tumblr is really kinda chaotic.
Its good to be here, and i'm hoping i can get over all my dysfunctions and really enjoy this space you've shared with us.
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exhuastedpigeon · 2 months
Note
hiii, i just saw your tags on a post about catholicism and I know you watch 911, so i was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing your thoughts on how you'd like to see 911 handle the whole Eddie is a lapsed catholic and has catholic guilt and is now dating a former almost-nun. do you think eddie's going to have a moment of "oh, actually i want to do mass and confessions again because thanks to my lovely girlfriend marisol, ive found my faith again"?
ANON I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED! I'm going to put some of my own experiences under the cut at the end of this ask because I think the context is at least a little important.
I think someone like @monsterrae1 will also have a ton of insight into this as another recovering Catholic and as someone from a Latin Catholic background that's probably similar to Eddie's.
Now to my take:
When they brought in Marisol's backstory of being a novice nun I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair and then I got really excited because bringing religion into Eddie's story is, in my opinion, the most obvious path for Eddie's queer awakening and an arc where Eddie unpacks a lot of his catholic guilt and repression.
If Eddie goes back to Church, which I think he might based on Bobby's advice not because of Marisol, I don't think it's going to be a 'oh wow I missed this!' moment, I think it would be the start of a journey where Eddie realizes how impacted he is by Catholic guilt and how even if he hasn't gone to church in years, it's impacted so many aspects of his life.
Eddie saying he's a manchurian catholic and has a reservoir of catholic guilt he didn't realize was there was so funny to me because that man doesn't even realize how his catholic guilt has impacted his life. Every time he ignores his own feelings for other people. every time he tries to do what he thinks people want of him instead of what he wants. every time he shoved down his feelings to 'do what's right' that's catholic guilt, baby.
My personal feelings on it are that Eddie is going to realize that he's been repressing a lot about himself... like maybe his sexuality. He's been comphet coded for years. From the panic attack of Ana being called his wife to saying dating feels like a performance to what he said last episode about the church being a big reason he and Shannon got married. (This isn't to say he didn't love Shannon because he did, we know how much he did even after their relationship was dead in the water).
I think we'll probably get an Eddie/Marisol breakup in the next few episodes - likely triggered by Eddie realizing he's maybe not straight and maybe he needs to figure himself out. Or maybe because he still can't get it up around her because of the nun reveal. Or maybe for some other reason - like maybe Marisol is a little homophobic.
They're setting up a perfect 'queer repressed Eddie' arc. They've set it up since before the move to ABC, even if they didn't do it on purpose.
I don't think it's going to be an easy journey for Eddie though. He's probably go so much internalized homophobia inside of him. He's got so much to unlearn and so much he needs to learn to love about himself. That's one of the reasons I hope Tommy sticks around - he's someone Eddie could lean on and learn from because he came out later in like - he came from a similar background with the military - he's someone Eddie could trust with that.
Now, a little backstory on my own relationship with Catholicism before I dive in - I was raised very Catholic, church every Sunday, Catholic school (uniform and all) from kindergarten all the way to high school, I was confirmed, I was my sister's confirmation sponsor, I was an alter server, I was a lead in my high school's church choir.
But my Catholic background is also not the exact same as Eddie's. He specified he comes from Latin Catholics and that's an important distinction because different cultures have a different approach to Catholicism. I'm originally from the states and while I'm not Irish-American or Italian-American but, I was raised in a very Irish and Italian neighbourhood (lots of first and second gen immigrant folks) and have probably a more 'Irish-American/Italian-American Catholic' perspective.
I am not practicing anymore and have gone to so much therapy for what my therapist calls 'religious trauma' because Catholicism, my teachers, and some of my priests, made me hate myself for existing even before I knew why I hated myself. Catholicism and the way they speak about queer people and the way they speak about sex is extremely regressive and when you learn about it from a very young age, you internalize that.
I also experience guilt when I do basically anything for myself that isn't beneficial to other people. You're made to feel selfish for having needs. I just... don't like organized religion because of my experience with the church.
I spent like 21 years hating myself and feeling tremendous guilt about my feelings towards women and every time I would kiss a girl I would play if off as 'oh haha it's just for laughs' because Catholic. One of my best friends in university once said to me, "I'm gay, but I'm catholic so I'm straight". He's now married to a woman and has a kid and every time I see him he looks worse and sadder. He struggles with addiction, likely because he's trying to numb himself. I think any religion that makes someone feel that way is toxic.
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kaeyapilled · 1 year
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hey! your kaeya takes are so real!!! I was wondering if you had any good fic recs?? I want to read something that has good kaeya characterization (+bonus if it's ragbros that isn't just them crying and hugging it out like you were talking about) and am tired of scrolling through tags
!! omg thank you im so honored to hear that people like my takes lol
fic recs huh!! i have some!! do you mind it if most of them are about child kaeya? (i hadnt realized how many of my bookmarks focused on his childhood until i went through them all lmao) hopefully it isnt all stuff youve already read before! here goes:
A Horse Makes for a Stable Life by FollowerofMercy – Wanting to test the boundaries of his host’s goodwill, Kaeya asks for a pony for his birthday. He didn’t expect Crepus to deliver. Or, the story in which things get uncomfortably real for young Kaeya.
do you like kaeya and crepus interactions!! because this fic explores their dynamic in suuuuch a nice way that felt very refreshing to see portrayed!! perfect ratio of hurt to comfort in my opinion. overall quite lighthearted compared to my other recs though lol. good exploration of kaeyas inner conflict since a young age. yeah i love it and recommend it
I'm gonna miss your love when it's gone by imaginarypasta – A selection of scenes from Kaeya's childhood related to his relationships with his fathers, and all they have led him to be.
this one is so good!!!! i feel like its rare to see kaeyas biological father portrayed as anything other than a heartless asshole, and this fic explored kaeyas relationship with him in such a nice manner that makes for a very melancholic and. i guess bittersweet story that takes into consideration the nuance of the situation in a way that i really dont see super often. the parts about kaeyas relationship w crepus are also really well done i love it. oh and the khaenri'ah lore the author takes some liberty with is really really interesting!!
not bad for a walk on death's doorstep by b_attery – Fear is a knife’s edge. Fear is a killer. Fear is how you know you’re still alive.
my bookmark of this work said "literally the best kaeya character study ive ever read" and honestly i still stand by that. the word flow is great and the exploration of fear as such an intrinsic part of kaeya's life and as the driving force for most of his actions and feelings and responses. it's so good!!! this one contemplates kaeyas childhood both before and after his arrival in mondstadt and goes until after diluc's return. absolutely recommend it!!
Hundred-Watt Light by pepperjuice – A story about ten years of contingency plans and holding your own hand. (Because how else are you supposed to live with a weight too big to hold all alone?)
this. this rewired my brain forever. this holds the title of best kaeya character study ever along with the previous one i talked about. definitely mind the tags because it primarily deals with suicidal ideation and thoughts so, if that's a trigger then it's best to not read this one lol but still it is SO good and it explores kaeya's inner conflicts and awful coping mechanisms after having such a heavy burden thrusted upon him at an extremely early age with no good support of any kind. i absolutely love this fic it's very dear to me and i think about it sooo often it truly altered my brain chemistry
things fall apart by kernsing – Happy eighteenth, Diluc.
finally some ragbros content! sadly it isnt the reconciliation you asked for it's about when things fell apart. this is one of my favorite ever renditions of how it all went down on That Day - it reshaped some of my own headcanons, actually. this one is more from diluc's pov than kaeya's, and it's written really really well, and explores diluc's grief over his father's death in SUCH an amazing and interesting way!! and the way it parallels kaeya's own emotions and that is exactly what causes them to fight is extremely tasty i loved it. read it it's good
okay i can probably find some more but this is enough for one post i think. deeply sorry for not delivering the good ragbros reconciliation content.. i tbh haven't gathered a lot.. but i hope you and whoever else reads this enjoys these! thank you for the ask <3
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Eddie, rockstar, who goes on tours and gets raunchy letters from his fans. it also happens to make his wife jealous. she decides she's gonna show him how much better she is than some stupid explicit fan mail 🤷 or something i know that's specific
omg I love this!!! And who doesn’t love rockstar Eddie 😍
I got a little excited with this one so I wrote a fic about it :p
I was thinking about doing something smutty but tb him a little burnt out with smut since its all ive focused on writing for the last couple of months and it's been pretty difficult to work on since I’m constantly around people
But I hope you enjoy this!
No Exceptions
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Genre- Fluff
Warnings- None :)
Tag List- @imagine-all-the-imagines, @esme-viridian, @munsonology
Word Count- 1.5k
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You glanced over at Eddie laid on his bed in the back of the tour bus as you heard him try to hide a little giggle. He and the other guys were in their separate quarters, opening and reading all the fanmail they had been sent over the last few weeks. 
Being a rockstar was a lot different than they had imagined it would be.
They thought it would be nothing but parties, girls, drinking and getting high whenever they pleased while just being able to hang out and jam for work. Instead it was full of long days of music writing and practicing, long drives to new venues, and barely any time for girls and weed. But Eddie didn’t need any other girl by his side while he had you. 
You always trusted him while they were out on the road, he wasn’t the type to cheat or lie to you, but usually the gigs they had were only a state away. A few hour drive maximum. This was the first time they were supposed to have a show nearly halfway across the country. And Eddie insisted you go along with them.
He was so happy that he was finally living his dream of being a rockstar, and with all the support you always gave him he wouldn’t dare want to experience this without you. The guys had no protests to him bringing you along, they loved having you around and always treated you with kindness and respect. Not to mention you could help find them the perfect girls while they’re out on tour. 
But over the last few hours the only stops they’ve made were at truck stops, gas stations, and fast food joints. Now they were just doing their own thing after getting a little bit of cabin fever and starting to get sick of constantly being around one another. They knew that was inevitable, especially being stuck on a cramped bus for hours on end, but for now they were all occupied with reading the dozens of letters they had gotten from their fans. 
They were excited to read them all and see all the wonderful things their fans had to say about them, not to mention how excited Gareth, Jeff and Grant got when they saw how many girls were DYING to see them and detailing all of the things they’d love to do if they ever got the chance. Eddie on the other hand always laughed at the letters he got that said things like that. 
Though Corroded Coffin was still a newer up and coming band, they had their own little group of fans that knew all about you and Eddie. 
You were that little groups power couple and they adored it whenever they saw you at a show, cheering on your man from right up front on the stage or watching him with loving eyes from backstage. Unfortunately, like all fanbases, there were a few girls who thought they would be able to steal Eddie away from you. Those were always his favorites. And lucky for you, he was giggling at the latest one he had just opened.
“What’re you giggling at?” You asked him with a smile before taking the letter from his hands and reading it to yourself, not being able to control the giggles in between nearly every word,
“’If I had the chance to spend just one night with you, I’d show you how insignificant that little groupie is and let you see what a real woman can do’?” You nearly burst out laughing just from reading it. 
“Wait, you didn’t even read the best part, look down at the bottom.” Eddie said in a fit of giggles as you laid next to him on his bed. 
You glanced down at the end of the letter and you could feel the tears start to prick the corners of your eyes,
“’From your most devoted fan, Sandra Murphy. P.S. I may be 44 but I promise I have the stamina of a 20-year-old.’” 
The two of you were laughing so hard your stomachs were hurting.
“I think she might have a better shot at Wayne than with me…” Eddie said as he tried his best to calm himself.
Those were always your favorite types of letters.
It had nothing to do with their age, how many shows they’ve been to, or how many times they’ve met the boys after a show, there was always that one handful of people who thought that no matter what they would be the one exception Eddie would make during your marriage They somehow assumed that he wanted anyone other than you. And that meant one of two things:
Eddie would ignore the letter and keep it in his collection of favorites, pulling it out whenever he needed a good laugh, or,
He would let you write back to them if they started to get threatening and always made sure to include a polaroid of the two of you.
He had his own little collections of all those letters.
He always kept all the letters from the fans that told him how much they looked up to him and all the little kids that would write to him and say how they wished they could be a rockstar just like him when they grew up. Letters from parents saying that his music was corrupting their children and turning them into satanic savages. Letters from crazed fans who were absolutely obsessed with him (those ones were usually put into a shredder). And of course, his favorites, the letters written to him by all the girls that thought with enough convincing they could get Eddie to leave you for them.
This one was definitely getting saved.
You slowly were able to calm yourselves down, a sharp turn made by the bus that almost knocked you both off the mattress was a big help for stopping the giggles, but you just couldn’t help it.
“I don’t know Eds, she sounds pretty convincing.” You said to him as you handed him back the letter, 
“Think you’re gonna take her up on her offer? I mean, I don’t want to step in between you and your ‘most devoted fan’.”
Eddie finished his giggles and tossed the letter away onto the floor as he grabbed at your waist and pulled you in close to him, the both of you secured on the bed to keep you from nearly tumbling off again,
“Oh please, its not the first letter I’ve gotten like that and it definitely won’t be the last,” He held you close to him, arms draped around your waist as your arms went around his neck, his lips sweetly kissing you as your bodies shook from another bump in the road, “and like I said, she seems more like Waynes type than mine…” 
You giggled once more and kissed him back, your hand moving up to gently hold the back of his head, your fingers carefully tangling into his soft curls,
“Maybe you should do him a favor and let him be the one to write back to her. You never know, they might really hit it off.”
Eddie smiled,
“You know, you’re right. I might have to give him a call at the next stop.”
“You’re gonna call him at the next stop no matter what!” You lightly slapped his chest, “You said you would call him at the last stop to check in and you never did! That was almost three hours ago Eds.”
“Alright, fine, I’ll call him when we get to the next stop.” Eddie raised his hand up, “Scouts honor.”
“Sweetie, you were never a scout, you can’t keep saying that.” You said with another giggle at your lips.
“Hey, if no one knows, it doesn’t hurt anything.”
You smiled with one another as you lay in bed, holding each other close in your arms as the gentle rocking of the bus was starting to lull you both off to sleep. It had already been such a long drive, and you knew you had a long while to go until you reached your destination. A nap couldn’t hurt anything. Eddie could always wait a little longer to call Wayne, he knew he’d be alright. 
For now, all he wanted to do was enjoy the scene unfolding around him.
Laying in bed with the woman he loved, on a tour bus with his best friends on their way to a new gig at a new venue in a new place. He was finally living out his dream and though he knew there was always a price to pay when it came to fame and fortune, specifically having to give up the freedom of his personal life, but as long as it meant he got to spend the rest of his days with you it didn't matter.
All those fangirls would get from him is seeing how much he loved and adored you.
And being able to show you off to everyone he could was his favorite part of his new rockstar life.
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spitdrunken · 3 months
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currently i'm really busy with writing for my thesis, which unfortunately leaves me with little creative juice... ive been engaging with other people's creations a lot more rather than writing for myself, but have some assorted thoughts on things ive enjoyed recently below, for anyone who is interested. feel free to send me asks about anything that's mentioned, but because of the above, might take me a bit to get back to u <3!
these aren't really x reader thoughts, just rambling! if you read this, thank u, i am giving you a kiss on your forehead/hug/fistbump/handshake/whatever words of affirmation you have been wanting to hear today. pick your favorite!
(Pokephilia mention) Pokémon Legends Z's announcement!! It'll be forever until it's released (which, as a true Pokémon fan, I'm very happy about BAHAHAH), but I'm so excited! Very curious how they are planning to implement, what seems to be, citybuilder elements... If Emmet shows up in this game, I'm going to be super delighted, but I honestly doubt it. Either way, it's made me think a bit more about the twins, and Poképhilia stuff in general as well! It's such a shame/pain the main tag is blocked... one day I will start and stick to my intention to write, like, porn about all the Pokémon, haha. A dream...
(cannibalism(????) monster eating??? mention. consensual!) Dungeon Meshi really was as much fun as everyone mentioned! Don't really see myself writing fic about it, except for a very specific idea I had... I like the thought of Laois 'obsessed with eating monsters' Touden got to meet a monster (AKA Reader) who is equally obsessed with the idea of being eaten!! Maybe a mermaid, or something like that? It's his one chance to eat a humanoid monster! Though the others probably won't believe him when they tell him that it was 100% consensual, and are judging him harshly LMAO
Welcome Home updated! Very happy about this. Though I don't connect them publically, I actually have written quite a bit of WH fic and my sfw sideblog for it used to have more followers than this one LMAOO. Maybe one day I'll write NSFW works for it, but I dunno if there's interest... Plus, I very much fall underneath people the creator would consider 'unwelcome' in their squeaky-clean fandom or whatever, but they have like a quarter million followers now, lol. Anyway, Wally is, as has been said many times before, the Most! He draws me in <3
And also, poor Eddie, lmao. It's very interesting to me, with the inclusion of the Narrator, that the characters seem to be forced to steer in a specific direction, if that makes sense? To upkeep a certain mask. I wonder if 'as above, so below' is a reference to that, in the sense that whatever is dictated by the stronger forces of narrative, is what shall occur 'below'-- In their world. Like, the animosity some of these puppets have for each other!!!!! Some of them are just straight up Not Friends, lmao.
I need to play more of it, but if anyone is reading this, go play I Was A Teenage Exocolonist. I expected it to be waaaay more popular, especially on Tumblr, but it's so underrated? The writing is wonderful, the characters are well-defined, and the art is breathtaking! Please take a look at the trigger warnings, cuz there are a few that are definitely applicable, but it's soooo good... If it has to be said, I romanced Dys first, lmao.
I am watching The Apothecary Diaries right now, just started today, and can I jsut say... I'm such a fan of all the women in this show!! I love the perspective it gives on court life a lot! Maomao definitely is pulling in all the men AND women, huh.... i appreciate that. Jinshi also 100% wants to get degraded by her, huh. Maomao is the sexywoman of this show.
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elviraaxen · 6 months
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im new here, so im sorry if this is a question youve answered before but tumblr's search bar failed me in finding this to be previous answered but.. uhmmm
c... can we make ocs/personas for Felt World? or would you rather we not or we hold off until further in?? bc i would love to make a puppet give our cowboy a smooch before he is, i assume bc he is a fucking catch and a half, taken off the market in canon lol i assume he wont still be single by the end. im a tad bit too embarrassed to ever post such drawings, but i wanted to know in case i ever did become brave enough to make them public if such you would be welcome to be tagged in or if that would make you feel uncomfortable
and also, for that purpose: as someone with disabilities, im really curious how disabilities are translated into Felt World? obviously not all of them, that'd take forever. but i was curious if they use mobility aids just like ours or if they use ones we could not have (an example of what i mean could be like "seal-chairs" in "Witch Hat Atelier"? they are chairs with hooves that run and jump, as opposed to wheels). and i know you said music is really powerful in this world, in both singing and instruments, but i wanted to also ask how in a world with so much focus on sound are the deaf/hard of hearing accomadated? deaf/HoH people can still play instruments, obviously (the most famous example being Beethoven), but i meant other than that
(also, if i recall accurately you once said that "the puppets have to speak to be considered sentient beings"? i was wondering if in the future could that be amended to "have to be able to communicate"? because i assume nonverbal puppets would still exist, as well as puppets who just dont speak much (whether thats a facet of deafness or nonspeaking shutdown or just a quiet personality). or would that break Felt World's world-building's logic in some way? that's a genuine question. i wasnt sure how to word it in a way that would minimize the risk of one being put on their back-foot, but i tried my best, it really is a genuine question)
(also, because i never like to assume fluency in disability-knowledge: if you need a resource on media portrayals of disability at any point, i highly recommend the youtuber, Oakwyrm. they do a lot of really cool analysis videos on disability. i do apologize if i am overstepping, and you are already largely fluent in disabled portrayals in media and/or already aware of Oakwyrm's existence. i just like to shout at least one resource out because i know many people have no idea where to look to learn more about general disability representation advice and whatnot. you do not have to watch their videos if you do not want to ♡)
also a bit of a tangent, idk if this is just a "for now" aspect of Donna due to her adjusting or if this is a core pillar of her personality but... just, thank you for making a feminine character who cries a lot and is emotional with Big Feelings. ive always felt more connected to the Dorthy Gales, Cinderellas, Clarisse de Cagliostros kind of heroines who are a bit of a "damsel in distress" (tho i do think that term reduces a lot of their agency and bravery) and i feel a bit lonely that we dont see many emotional-vitality-driven heroines who need some help as much as badass heroines or sassy heroines, both of whom are fully capable of getting shit sone alone. makes my cry-baby disabled ass feel a little pathetic (im very physically weak because of my chronic health issues, and am the type of Autistic ADHDer who is very sensitive to getting big feelings), even tho i know those types of heroines are valid and needed. i resonate a lot with AJR's lyric about "But I'm weak. And what's wrong with that?" even though i know im taking it out of context
and im sure Donna will prove herself capable of being on her own and having her own agency, same as all the heroines ive listed, i dont assume she will be stagnant, but i just wanted to really thank you for making a character that i relate to. i dont get that often. it makes me feel a bit abnormal and strange, and i mean moreso than the "well youre neurodivergent and sickly" kind of abnormal that would be implied. like. Weird Kid sitting alone at lunch kind of strange. so its really cool to see Donna and feel less lonely, is what im saying. i wish there were more heroines like her for people like me nowadays, rather than the archetype being reduced to "archiac stereotypes" (which i both do and dont understand the logic of. it depends on context and the example given) and therefore shelving a type of heroine we dont see in a lot of contemporary media (in exchange for a heroine we didnt get to see often (if at all) in past media, the sassy and badass ones, i do get it, and im glad theyre being used more as they should have always been. there are a select few of both camps that feel like "women have to be as stereotypically masculine as possible to be worthy of being called 'a strong character'" when i think strong characters have less to do with personality and more to do with "do they direct the narrative's plot? do they have agency?". but i could be wrong about that and i am getting off-topic)
but yeah. just. overall: thank you for introducing Donna to be like she is. it means a lot to me to see a heroine like her in contemporary media. im really excited to see what youll do next ♡ but yeah, i know im babbling a lot here and you dont need to reply to this half, i just really wanted to stress my thanks and WHY you have my thanks ♡♡♡ i really appreciate having Donna sit at my metaphorical lunch-table with me, even if she has to go sit somewhere else later. its been really nice to be beside her
thank you ♡
ps. i wasnt sure how to format this Ask because i know some people like to have each section have their own Ask for compartmentalizing/tag-organization reasons, but others like it all to be together so they know its all from one person as opposed to the anxiety of "ahh why did i get so many Asks all at once, did i do something wrong, do people hate me-- oh. its fine. i went through that rollercoaster for nothing. dear lord, am i drained now". so i tend to rather assume the latter, just in case; but do feel free to screenshot and section these out into their own posts if you are the former, i wont mind if youd rather do that ♡ have a nice day!!
Oh my goodness what a long message!!! 0.0!!
I had to take a few hours to think about everything to make sure I answered everything. But I should start off by showing my gratitude for the amount of time and effort you put into formulating this! So thank you, this was a really cool ask to receive <3
As for OCs, absolutely you can! I've already had a few who've made theirs, and I have no rules at all when it comes to shipping or self inserts or anything, as long as everyone is being respectful towards each other ^^
As for the disability aspect, I have a few key points that I want to explore in regards to especially deafness and muteness (is it called that? muteness?), but that's further along the story and will be introduced later! Also how song vs instruments work in this world is a part of the lore itself that'll be explained further down the line too, so no need to worry about our fellow mute or deaf/hoh peeps!
I have of course thought about mobility aids and other disability accommodations (because they can be born with defect, illnesses, and be injured pretty much like us, their bodies are a bit more fantastical but there are still rules) but i must admit didn't think further other than to give them similar mobility aids that we use. But clearly it would make more sense to make something more fantastical! I'll give it a thought! That's probably gonna be a fun design exercise ^^
I'm not sure if I can answer the entire ask in a way that does it justice, it's quite frankly the coolest message I've gotten, I'm gonna try and not let it get to my head (lol),
but i'm so glad you and seemingly many others seem to like Donna and appreciate her specifically for being sensitive and reacting strongly. It shouldn't be but it's really daunting to write female leads because as we know people just don't like women in media generally, but I eventually just got over it because I realized I was starting to write a character that demanded the audience cared and respected, rather than showing a story that I had fun telling, in a world worth exploring.
And not to spoil but I've already decided I do not want Donna to go through an arc where she's forced to abandon her emotions or go through something physically traumatic in order to "become tough" to be respected, that's not only overdone but lame and harmful wish fulfillment. So no worries in that department!
But anyways, I don't think I can properly say how appreciative I am of this ask!!! It really warms my heart that you and other people are going out of your way to send me asks about my little story that I came up with on a whim!!! It's truly the best compliment as a creator.
<3
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suffarustuffaru · 9 months
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Reading your tags about how people miss the very obvious "there's some fucked up shit boiling underneath" regarding Otto, just gave me a sudden realization. Otto is the only character I know in fiction where they act all innocent and drive up the "clumsy", "just in the side-lines" and "straight-man (heh)" persona. When. Like no one's in the EMT camp is buying it. They know he's way more capable than he let's on. Meanwhile, the tomfoolery is completely brought on by the Western audience.
Like Otto is failing miserably to make other characters believe that he's not up to mischief, Roswaal even thinks it can bring his downfall. But the audience, who even sometimes *sees* his fucked up thought process, is buying it.
*head in hands*
no u bring up so many good points bc ive been really thinking about this for a while T^T its such an interesting phenomenon in the difference in perception otto has between the japanese speaking half of the fandom vs the english speaking half which can be explained by—yeah. media illiteracy mainly. im also putting my head in my hands anon T^T
because—okay sorry wkdndn im gonna get into meta again but hear me out bc this pattern of the fandom underestimating otto is interesting bc i kind of sort of i cracked the code maybe??? o.o i think the nature of otto is a character is that youre SUPPOSED to underestimate him at first, just like what happens sometimes in universe. i mean wayyy back then i definitely wasnt expecting him to get more depth added to him in arc 4–which was a pleasant surprise—which is also the reaction the vast majority of people have to reading/watching arc 4, along with the other vast majority reaction which is being a bit endeared to ottosubas friendship and respecting otto for being a good friend. and then its easy to underestimate otto bc of 1. all the chaos going on in rezero at any given moment and 2. hes almost always overshadowed by other characters doing worse shit or being more insane than he is and 3. otto of course damn well knows hes easy to underestimate and counts on that. thats what he did against roswaal in arc 4. plus—i mean even aesthetics-wise hes 100% DESIGNED to be easy to underestimate. his outfit and physical features make him look either friendly or frazzled or soft. so i think that the point is that we were supposed to be kind of fooled—at first.
because yeah, we’re endeared to otto. we respect him for helping subaru the way he did. we think that hes a nice person and we now support his actions especially after feeling sympathetic towards him after learning his backstory. (or at least the average audience member will think this wjdndn.) but like—you dont even NEED to look at any side content at all for it to dawn on you that theres something Wrong. with him. like all you need is main route arcs 3-8 aka ottos entire screentime thus far, because at arc 4 its so easy to overlook otto unless youre thinking a bit deeper (for example—he gets violent with subaru. like yeah its entertaining, its played for laughs a bit, yeah subaru needed to be snapped out of his own head, but was it 100% necessary??? why did otto have this response??? bc if you just look at the main timeline otto really decided to beat up subaru first. and bc this tendency is now Less Funny in arc 8).
but even if youre just looking at rezero face value, when you get to arc 5 its starting to get even more clear that ottos weird in the head. like we already saw him being very good at scheming and planning in arc 4–in arc 5, we find out about otto hiding the tome for a year. we find out WHY hes been hiding the tome for a year. the tome then leads the witch cult into priestella, so like—in the sense, otto is RESPONSIBLE for arc 5. but theres STILL a tendency sometimes for the audience to continue underestimating him even though by this point we’re getting more clues and many characters around otto, like you said anon, KNOW hes very capable. i keep wondering why this is, but arc 5 is, again, FULL of chaos and different storylines happening at once, so its so easy to almost kind of forget otto there in the background until he occasionally pops up again. plus otto serves an additional role as comedic relief sometimes—he spends all of arc 5 being bitchy and whiny (i say this affectionately HAH) about his camp being full of disasters, for example, so i think the natural response from the audience tends to be “aw otto!! what a silly guy!!” sometimes. you know? so its like. i think at this point some people tend to be like “yeah fair that otto was wary of roswaal and thats why he saved the tome…. anyway ooooh whats going on with these other plot points” wobsbss. its so fascinating bc—ok this might be my own personal experience but anyone reading this pls tell me if you agree or not—i dont think ive seen a lot of people actually even MENTION otto bringing the tome into priestella attracting witch cultists. and the english speaking fandom LOVES to go into certain characters’ wrongdoings so why gloss over otto????
the only explanation i have for this is that from arcs 3-4 underestimating otto is. kind of the point of his character UNTIL you get to arc 5 and the clues in the main story start seeping in even more. and also the western audience DOES have media illiteracy a lot. theres that too. just look at rezero content on youtube or reddit or fanfic sites or other things of that sort T^T but no yeah i think ottos nature as a character exacerbates it. youre supposed to start asking questions about him. youre supposed to start connecting the dots and then SUDDENLY its now EXTREMELY obvious in arc 7-8 and even while theres so much chaos going on its basically shoved in your face. arc 7-8 is just delivering on all the leadup that was arcs 3-5.
and i think that youve gotta be media illiterate for sure to NOT get that otto is not squeaky clean and innocent BY ARC 8. i think that ottos the deconstruction of the loyal best friend trope, and also a mirror into what subaru couldve been like if he decided to be more ruthless instead of jumping right to forgiveness and saving everyone, except sometimes that flies right over the audience’s head wkdndnd. it confuses me bc ive seen some people completely miss the point or completely agree with otto and overlook the Bad Parts of it or, you know, STILL think ottos perfectly sane—like T^T please.
and yeah so back to what you said about otto Not being underestimated In Universe—its such an interesting detail bc hes ALWAYS been simultaneously pathetic and Very Competent wjdndnd. but yeah no all of his friends have seen various hints and clues and evidence of what hes capable of. like even though he hid the tome from them successfully and even though hes hiding info now its INEVITABLE that its gonna blow up in his face one day. like you got characters like garfiel who literally saw otto punch the wall and break his hand in an unhinged fit of rage, julius who got snapped at by otto and while julius is a Bit naive definitely knows somethings off there, anastasia whos smart as hell and definitely knows not to underestimate otto, and roswaal who, like you said anon, literally went out of his way to stop otto from breaking his hand in another unhinged fit of rage and warned otto that he will literally be destroying himself if he keeps going on like this. its this fascinating dichotomy bc otto is NOT fooling anyone around him but at the same time his current schemes are mostly unnoticed—for now—which yeah i havent seen that in a lot of media!!! its an interesting balancing act bc people around him realistically know hes competent after seeing the Proof of that for the past couple arcs, but otto is still finding ways to try and Win…
which—again, the anger and violence is an extension of arc 4 otto!! this is the same guy!! hes always been like this!! ottos kind of stayed the same, deep down, this whole time and as an audience its ONLY shoved in our face with a big gigantic spotlight on it FOUR ARCS LATER, but it was hinted to all this time. and like you said anon—we LITERALLY see ottos fucked up thought processes. literally what sane person thinks any of that shit. its spelled right out for the reader HAH T^T which—yeah. media illiteracy…. and also this whole ask was a longer way of just saying that otto is VERY easy to see at surface level if youre media illiterate. but at the same time it should be very easy to figure out otto is A Bit Fucked Up bc tappei underlines it in bright red print!!! i think people sometimes just hang onto soft awkward silly otto and forget about the rest T^T either that or they dont think he cares about subaru at all. which. that phenomenon of thinking characters that do care about subaru Dont Care is also interesting to me bc why????? we’re at arc 8 and you STILL dont get it??? o.ooooo
but yeah apart from that….. i said this earlier but yeah sometimes some people agree with ottos realism in arc 8 which is. understandable, but the whole point is that he is EXTREME. with it. hes Not in the right here, but the same crowd that wants wanton revenge in rezero is gonna agree with that kind of stuff T^T ottos been lurking in the background so much so that tappei made it meta by doing the whole “walking in darkness” part of his character, so i guess people just. dont see ottos ACTUAL worst traits and instead think he would ditch subaru at the first opportunity or something. but at the point we are now, arc 8 ottos problem isnt that hed ditch subaru. his problem is that he would sacrifice the world for subaru. his problem is that he gets extremely angry at subaru for trying to do good. his problem is that hes trying to micromanage everything around him and is willing to sacrifice anything necessary to get what he wants. but sometimes people dont get that bc otto doesnt look sound or seem like a character thatd do that. the Underestimation part of his character is doing too well on. certain audiences. please T^T the soft and awkward and silly parts ARE part of his character just like all the Darker parts are!!!
additionally im also wondering if western audience perception of otto is also clouded by the fact that otto looks and sounds more feminine / androgynous and he doesnt have the appeal of Overt Power either……. he cant Really be waifu-ified… and he cant be used as a weird self insert like subaru…. and you Have to look at him closer to understand him…. and for some reason people dont tend to hate on him so aggressively, if anything people cant even see his actual canonical flaws half the time wkdndn so if youre not paying attention otto CANT be aggressively hated on bc theres nothing there if ur not looking at it….. and if youre not paying attention otto seems more “boring” compared to the others…… (not that people arent allowed to not have otto as a favorite character bc thats totally fair but im talking about the tendency to think hes Saner than he actually is.) but yeah these are just my guesses. i have no clue the western fandom is a little T^T some people unfortunately cannot read.
anyway. big thank you to the japanese fanbase for understanding ottos character more and making so much wonderful fancontent for him T^T also i think that we as a collective fanbase should stop underestimating otto in general bc its exactly what he wouldnt want and i think itd be really hilarious. <3333 make him explode with rage please
#rezero#ask#yeah sorry this response was so long wkdndnd but yeah ive been thinking on this for a while…#like ottos a very key side character thats given a lot of focus and yet hes?? largely ignored in english fanbase#but also rezero is a special case i feel bc for some reason a LOT of people misread it so easily. all the time. even fans thatve made it to#arc 8. why???? T^T rezero is so divisive i feel and for what??????? why?????? why do people miss this the story makes it obvious what its#about??? not to mention the LITERAL anime episode called THATS WHAT THIS WHOLE STORY IS ABOUT WNDNDN#tappei basically slamming u in the face with otto being fucked up fr too HAH….#its like ottos falling into almost the same kind of stuff that rems perception by some people does. which is u know ignoring her problemati#traits of Being Obsessed With Subaru. shes a loyal ‘waifu’ and ottos a loyal friend but he cant be waifuified so easily and hes not front#and center in the sense that rem was also the second main love interest skdndnd#which i think might be the common fandom problem also of overly focusing on romance bc people notice rems loyalty more than they do otto at#this rate. bc rems the waifu. ottos only the friend. hes ‘less important’.#its interesting to me. bc why??? with other characters ppl either erase all the good or the bad out of them but with otto hes just in stasi#hes just kind of. there.#rip otto the bad luck made him cursed to always be in the background#it just confuses me so much T^T the difference between jp fandoms perception of otto vs english fandom is STAGGERING#otto suwen#the other day i accidentally got dragged into an argument on reddit bc someone tried to correct me on otto and i was like ?????? WHAT SANE#PERSON DOES ANY OF THE STUFF ARC 7-8 OTTOS DOING…???#they were like ‘otto wouldnt do anything for subaru’ and i was like ‘lmao whys he trying to have louis killed then 😭😭😭😭’#‘whyd he try to let 50 million ppl die then?? 😭😭’#‘WHY DID HE DIE FOR SUBARU THEN’#like ottos not gonna indulge subaru with everything thats not what i mean by he would do anything for subaru. he would do anything as in he#would sacrifice so much for subaru. but some people just see subaru doing it then ignore otto trying to do the same thing but in a differen#font???
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my-castles-crumbling · 2 months
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Hi Cas :) was wondering if you would be able to offer any of your wisdom (or really just read my ask, I think I just kind of need to get it out, please don’t feel pressured to reply).
So my issue is that I think I might have a crush on my best friend. We are both nearly 15 and both female, which is where the bulk of the problem arises. I’ve been suspecting for a few years now that I’m probably queer, and probably bi or pan (not really going with a label right now, I’m not out so I see no reason to, but I’ve also just been sort of pushing it to the back of my mind).
Ive known my best friend since we first started school together in our first year of school, and I know she’d be supportive of me if I came out to her. But lately whenever she’s been talking about some guy or wanting to get a boyfriend or whatever I’ve been weirdly jealous, and once or twice I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to kiss her. To put it simply: if she asked me on a date, I probably wouldn’t say no.
I feel really terrible about this and want to tell her, but know it would completely compromise our friendship, and I really don’t want to do that. I also feel like I really shouldn’t like her, like I’m commuting some social crime. I’m like 95% sure she’s straight, so I don’t see any reason to tell her, but i still feel guilty about it for some reason.
And then I feel guilty that I even think I like girls at all, because part of me thinks I just want to be part of the LGBTQ community - I don’t have many good friends and the queer community seem to be one of the few communities that are really accepting, and I wonder if maybe I’m just identifying with them because I’m considered an ‘outsider’ as well.
I’m sorry to dump this all on you and I don’t even fully know what I’m asking. It kind of just feels good to write it out and know there’s a possibility of someone reading it, so, thanks?
Anyway I hope you have the loveliest day :)
Hi!!!
So a few thoughts here, okay?
First of all, it is literally so common for people to think they're like...faking being queer. But the thing is, you're not faking it. You literally took the time to sit here and type out this long message to some stranger on the internet. You're not faking.
Second, you're not breaking any rules or being weird by liking your friend. You can't control who you like, and it's so normal to end up with feelings for a friend. There's no reason to feel guilty at all! Objectively, being liked is a compliment!
As far as telling her your feelings, that's where it could get a bit tricky, because sometimes things can get a bit awkward if feelings aren't returned, no matter what genders people are. If it was me, I'd probably start by coming out to her (you said she's a safe person) and seeing how she reacts. If she starts to act more affectionate, then that could be a sign that she returns feelings, you know?
I hope this helps. Remember, your feelings are so valid and I'm here if you need to talk!
(Also I am naming all the anons who write to me in case they want to write in the future, and I am using a random positive affirmation generator to do so. So I dub thee: admirable anon. Enjoy your free tag!)
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stylo-999 · 1 month
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5 songs I've been listening to lately, tagged by wonderful girlfriend @digsdigsdigs
Bud Powell, “Tempus Fugue-It” (Jazz Giant 1951) - as a wannabe jazz pianist ive really been trying to absorb Bud’s sound, and this record is what made his appeal click for me. bud is always playing a little faster than he practiced for, but that insistence and driving pulse is what draws me to him - the seat of the pants thing, and he pulls it off in a way no one else could. “Celia” is also really good, i drive around playing that song on repeat trying to sing along in time with all the triplets bud throws in - always when you least expect
Julian Lage, “Tributary” (View with a Room 2022) - this song single-handedly made me believe in guitar tone again. for many months i was in a fugue state convinced that jazz guitar would always be a boring soulless affair, but Julian Lage healed me with a simple application of “touch” and “treble” and “p90 pickups”. they say with guitar , your left (fretting) hand is what you know, and your right (picking) hand is what you are. like a football striker might be said to have a “cultured left foot,” Julian has the most cultured right hand. got put onto this by nashville guitarist and youtuber Rhett Shull who said it’s the greatest guitar tone of all time
J Dilla, “The $” (Ruff Draft 2007) - dilla is such a god of soundscapes. knowing his tragic early death, the way he summoned these sounds out of the long-gone vibrations of ancient vinyl records, it’s almost like he was connected to the main line - like he was plucking frequencies out of the air at will to create a collage. his vocals mix and mush together to become part of the aural melange. he’s so fuckin good man
Barry Harris Trio, “Ornithology” (Breakin’ It Up 1958) - people say Barry is a Bud Powell acolyte but he’s definitely got a different sound to him, lighter, bouncier, cleaner. i’ve been taking group classes with a teacher who studied under Barry, one of the words he uses most is “pretty” and you can really hear that in this record, vs. Bud who’s a little more ramshackle and skin-of-the-teeth (which i prefer tbh)
Thelonious Monk, “Blue Monk” (Thelonious Alone in San Francisco 1959) - i kind of love that twitter morons think monk is bad at piano or whatever, because this is a master class on how to repeat a motif and keep it interesting every time - rhythmic variation, harmonic “out”ness, dissonance, addition of smaller motifs, all solo and live on stage. this is my favorite monk record also, there’s something about the reverb that really gives the feeling of being there in the hall (fugazi hall in san francisco)
tagging uhh @rgr-pop @sivavakkiyar @aviatrix-ash and you
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philtstone · 6 months
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
thank you so much to the lovely @tllgrrl for tagging me! without further ado ...
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
as of this one, 197! i have been on these fanfic streets for roughly ten years, it all tends to accumulate
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
1,056,672 ..... do with that what u will
3. What fandoms do you write for?
yall, this is a prolonged list. i dont think theres been a source material ive written for once that i dont randomly write for again every so often. i have 1-2 big phases per year, usually. just go look at my ao3 dashboard sdlkfjldskf
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
to the surprise of absolutely no one, all five are from the age old skywalker happy trash family au. thanks for being so consistent star wars fandom, ur all real ones <3 but also my writing has improved so much since then that occasionally the hingeless urge to go back and re-write every fic in that verse is real
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i try my best to! every so often life gets in the way, but especially in the last few years, i really try to engage with comments as much as i can. ive also been lucky enough to write in pretty small fandoms for the last couple years (ironically, given ive been in my second m*rvel era) so replying to comments has been a lot more intimate and friendly anyway
6. What is a fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
i was going to say "i dont know" because for the most part -- and especially my more recent fics -- everything ends up pretty consistently bittersweet. then i remembered vintage phil: "we want to live by each other's happiness", or the b99 captain america au
7. What’s a fic you've written with the happiest ending?
i tend to very consistently write things with shades of happy and sad. that said, some of my favourite purely "happy ending" fics include:
"easy, easy (my man and me)"
"i found a dream"
"hark the bluebells"
"i believe in you and in our hearts"
8. Do you get hate on fics?
eh, not really. i dont generally write chapter fic with controversial enough plot points and the unresolved nature of updating chapters to generate true "hate". i have gotten some really bizarre comments where one has to wonder what was going through the commenter's head when typing it all out, but most of those are not things that stick.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
not me feeling emotional abt my ao3 tenure .... 15 yr old me would have such a different answer ...
i write often and (i hope) as authentically as possible about lived-in romantic relationships, and as ive gotten older it has felt more and more organic to include scenes in and around sexual intimacy where appropriate. i dont think most people would classify that as "smut", though.
10. Do you write crossovers?
if i am writing an au, it is a true au, with the single and sole exception of the force sensitive claire au, which is, on a technicality, a crossover
it also is, on much less of a technicality, unfinished ...
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of and i certainly hope not!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
not to my memory
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
the closest ive ever come to this was, actually, writing the b99 cap au with maya Back In The Day. our tumblr messages used to just be draft upon draft of scenes evolving in real time. but never formally. friends are an integral part of the fic writing process tho
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
the world should know i am an anne-gil truther. blueprint if there ever was one
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
sadly, probably "happiness, like those palaces in fairy tales"; my beloved small time constance-centered parks-flavoured musketeers au .... my writing style has just changed so much since, and it was such a huge undertaking. i still have half of the unpublished anne/aramis flashback chapter saved in my google docs though.
16. What are your writing strengths.
ive been told im good at prose! and writing from childrens' pov, which i am fond of doing, though in a tragic turn of events i havent done much of it recently
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
as i see it, sometimes i dont know when less is needed for a fic to be more. often, this comes from a lack of clarity on my end re: what the fic is trying to be -- OR when im trying to write about something i dont really know. at the end of the day, though, this problem recurs because fanfic is supposed to be fun, so something being a bit too messy and a bit too long is not a huge deal to me. hopefully its also not a huge deal to my readers!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic.
u can pry doing this from my cold dead hands. & are also always free to criticize my phrasing and translations, lol, except for that one time i made bucky barnes speak farsi, which is a language i actually know
19. First fandom you wrote for?
star trek aos, baybeeeee
20. Favorite fic you’ve written.
IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION. i love many of my children equally!
here are some all-timers from those fics which i have not mentioned yet:
hopeful./summertime
and there's a keepsake my mother gave me
then she'll be a true love of mine
just to hear the nightbird singin'
my daddy was a prominent frogman
**
thank u so much for the tag my friend! i had heaps of fun. tagging @firstelevens, @sesamestreep, @sennenrose and @flyinghome-againstthewind as well as anyone else interested!
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