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wlntrsldler · 2 months

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poisoned mercury | end up here

a/n: i'm going FERALLLLLLL over this chapter. enjoy poisoned mercury's debut album hehe.

iv. end up here by 5sos

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“your band name doesn’t even make any sense,” you argued, eyes narrowing at the boy in front of you.

luke crashed your secret spot, again, and refused to let you smoke in silence until you gave him a detailed explanation of how your day went. he knew you didn’t smoke every day, only on days that were particularly hard. he noticed that your bad days always had something to do with your dad, but it didn’t feel like the right moment to bring that up.

anyway, you got fed up with his badgering and that stupid smirk on his face because he knew you were about to crack, and decided that if he was going to act like a toddler, you would too. hence, why you were now bringing up his band name.

luke took offense to that because he thought the band name was cool. he was the one to suggest it. he crossed his arms over his chest, trying not to let his hurt show on his face, “what do you mean? poisoned mercury is a sick name.”

“mercury is already poisonous. your band name is like redundant or some shit.”

“then why did so many people in history ingest it?” luke asked, recalling the one thing he remembered from his high school history class before he dropped out. he took a drag from his cigarette, turning his body a bit so the wind didn’t blow the smoke directly in your face.

“they fucking died, castellan,” you replied, deadpan.

“oh,” he blinked, staring off, “i didn’t know that.”

you rolled your eyes, a habit that you’ve picked up whenever you were with him and sat back down on the bench. luke joined you, silent as he thought about what you just said. he really needed to stop zoning out during lessons, but since he was already out of high school, he guessed it didn’t matter anymore.

as much as you hate to admit it, luke castellan was growing on you. sure, he got on your nerves like nobody else– the boy just doesn’t quit– but, he wasn’t half as bad as you originally thought. not that you’d ever tell him that though.

when you got back to the cabin last week after helping with concert prep, the cabin was spotless. there were no empty red bull cans in sight, the table tops were free of crumbs, floor vacuumed and mopped, and there was even a candle burning on the counter. you approached your bedroom door to find a post-it on the handle. luke’s messy writing was smudged around the corners, but you could still make out what it said.

“five star,

i snitched on the boys and my mom will have a stern talk with them about their cleanliness. can’t promise that people will stop talking about me, but i can promise you won’t have to live in the dojo casa house mojo or whatever it was.

ps i’m using the spot tomorrow, just thought i should let you know. maybe we can set up a calendar for reservations.

luke :)”

the cabin hasn’t been as messy since. whatever may castellan told the boys worked like a charm. there was still the occasional trash, but nothing crazy. it smelled better in the cabin too, still like a boy, but it smelled like expensive cologne more than anything. cedarwood and pine.

and thankfully, the luke castellan hype train was starting to run out of steam, with many people finally realizing that he was also just a human being and the surprising revelation that luke castellan was not entertaining anyone during his time at camp helped with it as well. you still heard whispers about him here and there, but you were glad the topic of conversation was beginning to switch to something else.

you and luke walked to the gym and back home every morning together. he and the boys sat with you and clarisse during meals. they tagged along for music lessons and spoke to the kids, which they really appreciated. they helped the older campers with writing music, luke particularly. you’d been around a few musicians in your life and many of them only kissed ass when your dad was around, but poisoned mercury was different. they were passionate about their music. that was clear.

after a conversation with clarisse, where she managed to convince you that not all musicians are like your ex, you began to let loose a little bit. you hung out with the boys more, partly as an excuse so clarisse could hang out with chris without causing too much suspicion, and found that you actually enjoyed their company. and luke castellan? well, he wasn’t half bad. that doesn’t mean he got off easy though.

you took a hit of your vape, facing him, “are you done interrogating me?”

“for now, yeah,” he smiled as you shook your head. “are you coming to the concert tonight?”

“well, i did help organize it.”

“a simple yes would’ve sufficed, five star,” luke teased, relighting his cigarette. it was burning unevenly and luke was never one to waste his cigarettes. “you gonna watch us play?”

“don’t have a choice. dad wants me there the whole time.”

“you can act a little excited,” luke ran a hand through his curls, “we are pretty good, you know.”

“i know,” you hummed. the sun was beginning to set and there was a slight breeze in the air. goosebumps formed on your skin, the t-shirt and denim shorts you wore didn’t offer much comfort. you shivered, “i have listened to your music.”

“are you cold?”

your teeth chattered, but you shook your head, “i’m fine.”

luke took off his hoodie, tossing it in your direction, “take it.”

“no,” you tossed it back to him, “told you i’m good.”

always so stubborn, luke thought.

“if you catch a cold, that’s not on me,” he placed the hoodie on the bench between the two of you. “which songs have you listened to?”

“kilby girl, of course. it played on the radio so much when you guys first dropped it,” you said, remembering the days where you and your hometown friends would blast it in the car. it reminded you of high school, reckless decisions, life-long memories, and the thrill of knowing you were going to be playing the sport you’d worked so hard to excel in at a d1 level in the fall. you looked at him, sincerity in your eyes, “i really like family line. it might be my favorite.”

luke’s eyebrows shot up. not many people talked about family line. it was probably their least streamed song. they never performed the song on tour because it was difficult for luke to sing it. it was a personal song to him. it was inspired by his relationship with his father, or lack thereof.

when poisoned mercury first got signed to olympus records, luke sent a message to his dad on facebook. luke hadn’t tried to contact him since he was ten, not since his father returned his letter to him unopened, no response but a “return to sender” stamp plastered over the envelope. but after the small congratulatory party his mom set up for the band after they signed, luke felt like a little kid again, a kid who wanted to share the great news with his dad, so he found his dad on facebook, made an account, and sent him a message.

he didn’t get a reply, which was expected, but it felt good for a second to pretend that he had a father to tell his good news to. luke thought he didn’t care about whether or not his dad was proud of him, but when his message went from “sent” to “read” a few days later, he was brought back to those moments in his life when he cried and wondered why he wasn’t enough to make his dad stay. he wrote family line in one sitting, on his bed in his bedroom in connecticut, looking at the little league medals on his wall that seemed to mock him.

he originally didn’t want it on the album because he felt like it didn’t fit the vibe of the rest of the songs and that it was too real, too vulnerable for a debut album, but then he played it for his mom and she loved it. she cried when she first heard it and luke knew that even if people didn’t like the song, he was going to put it out for his mom.

“huh,” he cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure, “wasn’t expecting that one. thought you’d be more of a crash my car type of girl.”

“i like that too,” you shrugged, “but family line. that song. i don’t think i have the words to describe it.”

“thanks, five star,” luke looked down at his feet, taking a puff from his dying cigarette. “that’s my mom’s favorite, too.”

“did you write it?”

luke nodded, looking to face you. there was a new expression on your face, one that you’d never used with him before. it was a mix of disbelief and awe. he tried not to get offended that you didn’t think he could write something like family line, but he couldn’t blame you. he didn’t really portray the type of person who would be able to be that raw and vulnerable on a song. “me and trav write the lyrics for our songs, mostly. chris and connor help too, but the bulk of the lyrics are me.”

“you need to stop doing that.”

he cocked his head to the side, crushing the cigarette butt on the hardware of the bench, “doing what?”

“surprising me,” you shook your head, “i don’t like it.”

“i don’t know what to tell you,” he chuckled, leaning back on the bench. he looked out into the lake, watching the sun disappear behind the mountains, “i have layers. you just gotta give me a chance.”

“how do you do it?” you sat criss cross on the bench, leaning against the arm rest. “how do you write like that?”

you’d always been curious about music, even if you weren’t good at it. your dad was never one to answer your questions, especially because you were interested in lyrics more than anything, and that wasn’t his forte.

luke mimicked your actions, “i dunno. personal experience, i guess?”

you frowned, thinking about the lyrics of family line. luke never talked about his dad, but spoke highly of his mom. was family line based on his own life? if it was, his dad was an asshole.

you relented to the cold, grabbing the hoodie that he left in between the two of you. you ignored the triumphant smile on his face when you draped the sweater over your bare legs, shielding them from the wind chills.

he continued, “sometimes things happen to me that get me worked up and i have to write a song about it. sometimes, it’s based on my imagination. it depends.”

you wanted to ask him about his dad, but you didn’t know if he considered you guys friends yet. it’s not like you made it easy for him anyway. you could deal with the banters and annoyance, but you didn’t want to push him to talk about something he wasn’t ready to. you could be a dick, but you weren’t cruel.

you changed the subject, “okay, let’s play a game.”

“21 questions?” luke bit his bottom lip, trying not to laugh. he waggled his eyebrows, dodging your arm that reached out to smack him.

“you’re gross,” you gagged, knowing the implications of the game, “no, i’m gonna ask about the songs on your album and you tell me if it’s real life or from your imagination.”

“alright, go for it five star,” he beamed, propping his elbows on his crossed knees. he loved talking about music with anyone. he could go on and on for hours.

“18.”

“real,” luke snorted, remembering the first time travis pitched the idea for the song to the band, “but not my experience. it was trav. he met this girl at one of our gigs in new york, right after we got signed, and he was obsessed. she was a freshman at nyu and she kept telling him he was too young for her, even though she was just less than a year older. trav was hooked.”

you could picture it. it was definitely something travis would do. “okay, another one of my favorites. only angel?”

“not real,” luke shook his head, a slight blush creeping up on his face. “if you tell anyone, five star, i will vehemently deny it, but i had a crush on jade west from victorious and i wrote it about her.”

there was something about jade west that made luke like a love-sick puppy. ignoring the fact that she was hot, her attitude was something that luke was attracted to. she had a tough exterior and acted like she didn’t care about people, but she had her moments where she was soft and kind to the people she cared about the most. luke liked that. the idea that someone could be sensitive but only to the people they deemed worthy.

he’d spent so much of his life trying to be worthy, in whatever way the stage of his life defined it, and he craved it– a pat on the back, an approval, a confirmation that he was worthy of it.

you threw your head back laughing, surprised by his ridiculous confession. the sound of your laughter rang across the woods, making luke smile. your voice echoed throughout the trees and he his senses were surrounded by you. it hit luke like a truck.

he sucked in a breath, taking out his phone. he jolted from his seat for more than one reason. “shit, five star. we gotta go.”

you took out your phone too, checking the time. your eyes widened as you got up from your seat. you threw his hoodie over to him, “fuck, we’re late.”

the two of you raced out of the woods, arriving to the concert venue with flushed faces and rapid breaths. you could feel clarisse’s knowing eyes on you as you got ready for the concert. you tried your best to ignore it. you were going to deal with that later.

–

“and for the final event, i know you guys are looking forward to this one,” your dad laughed into the mic. the sun was long gone and there were disco lights illuminating the stage. a smoke machine was on either corner, making it difficult to see the bottom half of the stage. you and clarisse stood in the front row, listening to the deafening cheers of the campers. “ladies and gents, welcome poisoned mercury!”

the screams got louder which you didn’t even know was possible. travis entered the stage first, sticking his tongue out as he expertly twirled his drumsticks around his fingers. connor came in next, smiling and waving at the crowd as he plugged his guitar into the amp. chris walked in with his bass strapped around his neck, eyes immediately finding clarisse and sending her a shy smile. you nudged her teasingly, enjoying the way she blushed under the lights.

then luke castellan walked in. he ditched his hoodie and t-shirt and walked in with a white tank top on, messing with the curls on his head. he tugged on the silver necklace around his neck as his eyes scanned the crowd. he threw a wink to the group of the older girls in the back, turning to travis to let out a laugh at their reaction. the lights on the boys were blinding and a thin layer of sweat already began to form on their skin despite the bite to the air.

luke took center stage, picking up his guitar. he leaned over directly in front of you, fingers pretending to mess with the wires connecting his guitar to the speakers, “hey, five star.”

he straightened his back before you could reply. clarisse’s eyes darted between you and the boy, now nudging you like you did to her earlier. you rolled your eyes, smiling at the rest of the boys as luke began talking on the mic.

“what’s up, camp half blood?” luke screamed into the mic. the crowd roared. “we’re poisoned mercury and we are so happy to be with you guys here this summer. before we close out this awesome concert, i wanna introduce our lovely band.”

“on drums, we have the one and only, travis stoll!” luke turned around to applaud travis as he did a little drum solo, head banging as he hit the drums. he turned to connor, “on lead guitar, we have the amazing connor stoll!”

connor strummed his guitar, leaning over on the left side to soak in the applause of the crowd. the girls beside you swooned as he unleashed one of his award-winning smiles.

luke faced chris, “and on bass, we have my very best friend in the entire world, my 4lifer, chris rodriguez!” clarisse cheered loudly for chris as he played a tune on his bass, mouthing, “love you, brother,” to luke as he played. the crowd quited for a second as luke addressed them again, “and my name is luke castellan. we’re poisoned mercury!”

you turned around to look at the crowd. the size of the crowd tripled when the boys got on stage. everyone had a smile on their face, excited to hear them play.

“the song we’ll be singing for you guys today is from our debut album,” luke adjusted his mic on the stand. he got closer to it, lips touching the metal, “this is only angel.”

you couldn’t help but let out a laugh at their song choice. this was not the song they were supposed to sing. they’d been rehearsing kilby girl for the past week. luke saw your reaction, laughing along with you.

the instrumentals began and you nearly missed the beat drop because of the cheers from the crowd. as the song progressed, the boys were one with the music. you watched luke sing, working the crowd like a pro. his skin glistened under the spotlight, beads of sweat tricking down the side of his face. he approached chris when the chorus started, dragging his mic stand with him. he swung his guitar around so it rested on his back as he sang the lyrics. his curls were sticking to his forehead, eyebrows raised in glee as he performed.

you couldn’t take your eyes off the lead singer, not even when the rest of the band had their own solos in the song. your eyes were glued on luke; how his adam’s apple was on full display as he threw his head back, getting lost in the music, how his arms flexed as he wrapped the mic cord around his fist, how his thin tank top stuck to his body and how it raised when he lifted his arm up to bring the mic closer to his lips. you saw the outline of his abdomen and his v-line.

but what really got you was his face. he looked at peace on stage, a wide smile on his face, full lips pink and glossy as he licked them in between verses. he looked incredible up there, like that was where he belonged. he was born to be on stage like this.

“fuck,” you mumbled, applauding at the end of their song. luke’s eyes found yours as he sang the last bit of the song, smiling at you. you hoped clarisse couldn’t hear you talk to yourself. you looked down at your feet, tugging nervously on the collar of your shirt, “i get it now.”

#frances writes #poisoned mercury #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan fanfic #luke castellan #luke pjo #luke castellan x yn #luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan x you #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson

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ohmygs-blog · 3 months

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omg i havent been going on tumblr much ugh i miss u . gonna look thru ur whole blog again in a sec but i got my first nct 127 album teehee.. i got the fact check album (chandelier ver) and pulled jungwoo!!! thought id update u since i have been getting more into nct in general ^^

HOW ARE YOU!! are you doing well?!!? what have u been up to! is there anything fun coming up?!?#, tell me all abt it if u want 😈

- 💌

hii i missed youuu bae!!! how are u doing??

omg yay thats so excitinggg i still haven’t gotten a fact check album lolll :( i keep meaning too and then i spend my whole paycheck in a day :/

im doing good! i honestly don’t do much lol my schedule is wake up, go to work, eat dinner n then lay in bed 😭😭 i am going to the mall tomorrow tho so yay

i feel like i’ve been saying this for so longggg but i’m really just trying to catch up on all my requests n talk to u guys more!! (i literally have over 300 messages in my inbox)

and ive gotten quite a few done so im aiming for like maybe a post a day for a while?? and for the ppl that follow my wattpad i’m planning on posting more frequently on there and i’m working on a new little fic thing sooo !!

#💌

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fluffnflightillustrations · 7 months

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I just need to get it off my chest.

Another vent post, since this month has been just... terrible, really.

So we were doing well, paying the bills, even making a little extra... then my roomie quit her job on the spot without a backup job on the rear cooker... right before my birthday.

maybe its selfish, but im really frustrated and pissed about it? she got a small job after jobhunting for two or three days and they let her go the next week, so once again, we are out of more than half the bill payments. usually, if i were healthy, i would be able to try to float us for a bit, but im just. not. healthy. at all.

i cannot afford my medication i desperately need to maintain myself, and my paranoia is getting so much worse with all of the stress piling higher and higher. for those unaware, i am diagnosed with PTSD, OCD, GAD, and Psychotic depression... that last one is basically super intense depression, but add on some hallucinations and a lot of paranoia.

I cant get enough sleep and i keep waking up with tachycardia and night sweats and feeling weak and i dont know if its my paranoia as usual or if its actually some new heart condition and its freaking me the hell out

I'm working as much as i can at my new job and i still don't think im going to make ends meet, so I opened commissions but the guilt from being able to finish them fast enough is eating me alive and i feel like im really falling into a huge hole i cannot crawl out of

i want to disappear and hide from it all... i wish it would all just disappear. the world, the bills, the stress, the hallucinations, the anxiety, the loneliness. my entire life. im not going to act on an attempted... unaliving, since ive tried and failed too many times to have any faith in myself to be successful, but im so... so tired. so exhausted.

We had planned a trip to New York, even bought nonrefundable tickets and a hotel a few months back when we were doing well... but im going to have to go and spend the whole time working, and my friends i was going to meet might have to cancel, and honestly.. part of me just doesnt want to go anymore. its hard to feel any excitement for a trip that will just be spent being anxious and feeling guilty for not working in that time period.

My friends are all busy, so i don't have really anybody to get it off my chest to, and then another few friends i suspect of actually hating me, but maybe its my anxiety speaking... im just tired of it all. i want it all to perish

anyways... commissions are open. ill post about it tomorrow probably when i feel better, if i feel better

#fluffvent #tw:suicidal thoughts

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ickmick · 6 months

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Inktober days 11-15!!

I PROMISE I DIDNT FORGET TO POST THIS, I HAD IT WRITTEN AND EVERYTHING BUT YET TUMBLR DIDNT POST IT??? So erm.... I scheduled it for 'today' at like... 2 pm i think? my time, that is... LOL (turned out the queue didnt work! so its 6pm!)

so anyways, I'll upload yet again on sunday (tomorrow!) since I also need to post on Halloween!! oh boy!! so theres my uploads for the rest of the month, if you want to check back :D

I've actually gotten further than I thought I would! very proud of myself! and you should be too, even if you've only done a few days!

heres week one and week twos posts!

this one actually has the doc drawing >:3c

plus some other fun ones! its all under the cut, enjoy!

heres the key as always, referring to my prompt lists!!

wh = welcome home

hc = hermitcraft (I have 2!)

ink = official inktober

gore = goretober

(actual gore will be triggerwarned! so far none has any blood or violence!)

Day 11

wh: butterfly

hc: mischief

ink: wander

life: lava

oh noooo... our local pesky bird!! he fellll... (attempted a new perspective!! a lil wonky but I tried lol)

and can I just say I LOVE how peaceful grian is in the last drawing? hes so pretty and soft looking!! i surprised myself!!

Day 12

life: soulmate

I got that major life series brainrot... if you cant tell, haha... and dont even get me started on secret life!! more on that in the final notes >:D

also I didnt finish bigb im sorry BFMSVSSB

Day 13

hc: fashion

life: safety

GRIAN IN CUTE CLOTHES !! feat mumbo in the corner to make up for the last few times of neglect rip

also, was low on spoons and unfortunately did not finish the potentially adorable moment between the buttercups in grians wings... smth... xD

Day 14

hc: hermit with a background

gore: parasite

ay more like parasyte, am I right? *ba dum tiss*... ... yeah ok sorry LOL that was def more of a meme drawing ngl

AND THE FABLED DOC DRAWING!!! I posted it on its own already because im unbelievably proud of it!! listen... i know it meant to draw a bg... like a forest or smth... BUT!! i thought it was kinda funny... and I swear i was going to actually di the prompt right! but I ran out of spoons XD

Day 15

ink: dagger

life: spyglass

gore: fungi

another low spoon day, alas! but hey, at least we have some AHAA shenanigans (simply grian giggling) and a not so scar safe object!! (a dagger!! who gave him that?? /silly)

whew, there we go!! i think this weeks set was pretty good! (not that I actually drew any THIS WEEK, but thats not the point XD)

also, thank you for all the love so far!! you guys are very sweet :D

Im especially blown away from this post of tango, because it was rushed!! but im appreciative still because the post is sort of funny!! <3

*vauge talk of first secret life episodes!!*

PLUGS OVER LISTEN.... SECRET LIFE? THE SYMBOL? JIMMY POINTING IT OUT? AHHHHH!?!? /VPOS

its so good already omg... ive watched quite a few of the povs lol... i wont say anything specfic because I havent properly spoiler warned! so I will leave you simply with the wise words 'the fanfic writes itself' /silly (and oh my god scar giving grian the dang blocks ACK /pos /pos /pos)

heres week fours, 5.1s and the last post (5.2)!!

okay!! have a good week!! and remember to be easier on yourself!! I hope to see you next sunday for the next week of drawings!! 💜

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shushthisaintmytumbla · 2 years

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a year in the books - 8/9/22

It always just amazes me how much can change from the previous time I write here. I have definitely neglected this space for quite some time (longer than usual) as its been almost a YEAR! It’s always so insane to see how much has changed and where i am now from where i was in the last post. I truly don’t even know where to begin, but I guess i will just state the fact that tomorrow is my one year anniversary of living in NYC.... HOWWW?! So much has happened over the past year. New friendships, self growth, hurt, feeling lost, finding myself, you name it its happened. Its crazy to read my last post and see how un settled this city made me feel. I can now leave my apartment and get just about anywhere by memory. I have so much to say and update on so I guess we shall start with a big part of my last post. D.

Wowow i don’t know what to say but girlllll you were just getting started with this heartbreak. To say being in a toxic relationship is difficult is just an understatement. Its definitely been one of the biggest struggles from the past year. I have been hurt countless times, but yet i still find myself stuck in the same place. From where I was a year ago, I’ve been back and forth and pulled in every direct. From a genuine relationship to a hook up to a toxic friendship to friends to enemies and back, we still gravitate towards one another. Our relationship makes zero sense to me, but id like to think my mental state of the relationship has begun to take positive steps out of the toxicity. It’s hard to say what the future looks like but all I can hope is that I find a way through this muddy path. I know I am capable and I hope to continue to work on finding my way out... I guess thats all I can really say.

other than THAT! lol so so so much good has happened. Sometime after this post I pushed myself out of my comfortzone to make nyc MY city with MY friends. It took some trial and error, but through a literal friend dating app I found my best friends who I now could not imagine life without. Were literally going on our second trip together this weekend like thats how freaking amazing they are. They make NYC home and I couldnt be more grateful. Not only do I have them, but ive been able to connect with people who I barely knew im college, I have molly and her friends and I even had brooke (who unfortunately just moved back to LA) for so much of the past year. Once i got out of my comfort zone this city really openned up to me. My friends here are the reason I love new york as much as I do and for that I am forever grateful.

Not only have my relationships changed, but MY JOB changed. This I never thought I’d be saying a year ago, mostly because I thought my job was going to be the coolest thing ever. It was at first, dont get my wrong, but once things set into place i realized the scam that is reality TV lol. I am now at a new job that has been one of the most challenging ones yet. Hold onto your seat bc you wont believe this... I AM SO BUSY. I thought i was cursed w boring jobs hahah but not the case anymore!! I really really struggled the first few weeks, but id like to think im getting the hang of it now. Its still in influener marketing which I enjoy, but now i do everything from sourcing talent to contracting to runnning a full campaign. I hope to stay in this role for a bit and grow at the company because it definitely seems like there is a ton of room for it. Im excited to see what the future holds w this career path.

Another big thing is I started therapy this year! It is something ive always been so scared to do, but something i really needed. I am so good at venting to an online portal, but actually seeking a mental health outlet has been so good for me. Sometimes i doubt my progress, but ive been able to open up a lot more and id like to think its made me more overall healthy.

I feel like thats a pretty lengthy update on the life status for now, but i hope to come back soon w even more life wins and not go so long without writing here! I am so so excited to see what the future holds, how my nyc life will progress, and what new challenges will come my way to make me even stronger.

xx,

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chronicals-of-top-surgery · 2 years

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25 days post OP 6/20/22

Jeez, five days have passed already?? Time is FLYING by.

Well, a day or two ago I took a nice hot shower and because I wasn't super concerned about water getting into places it shouldn't (which was a concern when my nipples weren't fully attached yet) I was able to get everything cleaned. Sadly, I need to exfoliate because just rubbing my shoulders made a ton of gross, dead skin fall off.

Speaking of gross dead stuff falling off, the hot steam got the scabs really loose. My right nipple has almost no scabbing now and my left lost a TON. It's seemingly very healthy and pink and perfect under there. The top is weirdly not super smoothed down to the skin or flush, it's raised around the top edge but I think it'll smooth itself out and be fine.

Though, while I was gently lifting away the scab bits that were flaking and falling off anyways, one bit of scab gave a weird amount of resistance. Turns out, there's a fuckin SUTURE hiding under the scab!! Like a whole stitch, hiding, totally missed by the doctor 2 weeks later. I sent him a text and showed some pics and he said I'm healing up perfectly, I look amazing, and that the suture will dissolve and fall away on its own so just don't bother it and it'll be fine.

I only have 6 more days of wearing my chest wrap too. Ive been taking breaks for a few hours at a time. Just letting everything breathe and relax a little, especially when the wrap is just not cooperating and is rolling up and sitting on my scars weird which hurts. My sides do hurt but I think it's from the wrap and laying on my sides. I've been able to sleep on my sides a little but I keep just rolling back over to sleep on my back again.

Everything is super sensitive. Especially in the center of my chest between the two scars and like in between where my breasts used to be, it's just really tender to touch. Like touching a super raw sunburn, or (and maybe only my fellow autistic folks will really get this one) when someone pets or rubs you in the same spot over and over for too long it starts to hurt? Yeah that sensation. Really uncomfortable. It feels better with the wrap on it and nothing brushing up against it but my whole chest is just sensitive in a bad way

For some reason, right below my nipple and a little to the outside, it's hard as rock. Idk what that's about bc the rest of my chest is more squishy. I'm guessing it's muscle?? Or part of the suturing? Idk, it doesn't hurt, just a little strange note. It's on both sides, mostly the left, so I'm assuming it's normal.

I still am trying to not really stretch, I still haven't done any heavy lifting, pushing, or pulling. I plan to keep it that way for another month, hell, until I'm moving out for college (3 months total healing). I want to be CERTAIN I don't cause any damage and I want my scars to heal as pristinely as possible, and right now I have the luxury to do so. Besides, as of right now, if I stretch a bit too far or push a bit too hard, it does hurt. I haven't had anything besides a twinge of achey pain or a quick pinch but id rather listen to those little hints of pain telling me to stop while I'm ahead and not push it further.

Ive got my online college orientation tomorrow so I have that to look forward to. I also need to start talking to my boss about when I'll be returning. But I can worry about that tomorrow. I still have 10 days before my leave ends, I'm not on the very last second of planning. It's still flexible and calm and I'm not gonna freak myself out over a minimum wage job. The only reason I haven't quit is because I want to transfer to a store in the college town and take advantage of tuition reimbursement.

So yeah! It's going good, I'm taking it easy still, healing is nice, I'm no longer stressed about my nipple because it turns out it's scab was just a LOT thicker than my right one, and everything is healing good! Im outside of the scary zone now, no more fear that a nipple will fall off or that something will get infected. Now it's just a gentle waiting game for the sutures inside to heal and dissolve away and for my scars to settle and start permanently healing. It won't be completely healed for like 3 years (the deep scar on my hand took about that long to go from reddish pink to my skin tone) but I just need to make it to the period where I'm safe to work out again which I think is like 3 ish months? I'm fine with that honestly. I'm not going to start working out again until I have the campus gym accessible to me.

I'll keep updating this periodically! Im really fond of this blog and all like 3 people who follow it, and it's a great archive for myself and my memories. Somehow being in Miami simultaneously feels like yesterday and a year ago. I miss my companion, I miss how much he doted on me and cared for me. Of course my mom dotes on me too but that's a good mom for ya, I love and appreciate it but I still yearn for him too. Little bit of gay yearning never hurt anyone yeah? Yeah. I'll keep updating here as I go along and heal! Until the next post!

#ftm #lgbt #top surgery #top surgery recovery #trans #transgender #transmasc

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mojavepumpkin · 2 months

Text

monday, march 4th

today was good. i dont feel i did much, which is how i feel everyday, so that is not exactly an accurate gauge of whether or not i actually did do much. the school day wasn't so bad, it was good, actually. we did have a poorly planned quiz in english, though. i made an 85, i hope she curves it in my favor.

after school was much more eventful than before-school. i didn't have anything to do post school so i asked L, because he is always occupied with something. and as i expected, he was doing something, which is when i asked to accompany him. i need to start packing clothes in my car, so im prepared to go walking after school, because thats a newfound preoccupation of mine. but before the walking, today we volunteered at the library, which was fun. just sorting books and talking, we finished quickly, and it would've been quicker if there hadn't been some bluey extravaganza. so we walked after we volunteered, and that was as good as it normally is. only 6 miles or so, but still good enough for me. we found a playground and fooled around on it for some time. we ate after, and it was glorious. truly the best burrito ive had in some time. we saw another mutual friend of ours and had a brief conversation. he needed to get yogurt and milk from the store so we drove there and got it. we were stopped by a train on our way back to the library to his car. i got home at about 7ish. i returned the book i got that i never really intended to read, and searched for a new one that i might actually read. i want something on mindfulness and meditation, but the book i was looking for was not available. i wanted another book on digital minimalism, but it also was not there. i am developing quite an extensive reading list, almost all nonfiction or- i guess they would be called "self help" books. i don't love that title. though i am trying to help my self.

i need to get my car serviced. i have a beta meeting tomorrow, which i am not looking forward to. but apparently there will be donuts. so i will be in attendance. i think i have a biology quiz, which i should be studying for, i made a 60 on the last one, but unfortunately i dont care much to. i have public speaking tomorrow, i dread it to no end. i will be at school for like 8 hours. UGH. idk if im supposed to have that draft done or not, and once again, i do not care much to figure it out. i wonder if i can do something after school tomorrow, i hope i figure some kind of plan out. i like staying busy.

im stuck on country music. OLD stuff. today i listened to hank williams sr. exclusively. it's good music. if he had lived longer i think he'd have been a bob dylan figure. same vain as buddy holly. i spose by the age that williams had died dylan had already released a few classic albums. i still wish he hadntve died so young.

#blog #post #r196 #girlblogging #blogger #reblog #tumblog

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tarosin · 3 years

Text

the great adventures of y/n tommy jack and tubbo

requested: yes/no

an: part 4 of the great adventures series

pairing: platonic y/n/tommy/jack/tubbo

warning: cursing

It was the afternoon before your new adventure with your friends. you had no idea what to expect, however everyone else knew even ranboo, and he wasn’t even joining you all. you would be lying if you said you weren’t nervous, especially after hearing some of tommys plans for future uploads. tubbo had been trying to drop hints about what was going to happen. You honestly couldn’t tell if he was excited or nervous, either way you could tell it was going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity and boy were you excited. the sound of knocking pulled you from your thoughts.

“hi y/n! sorry for the unexpected visit, i tried to call you but it wouldn’t go through.”

“oh god sorry, tubbo, my phones on charge upstairs, ive just finished babysitting my friends twitch chat.”

“that’s okay, tommy wanted me to see if you want to stay the night as i can take you with me now. he said something about it saving time tomorrow as jack won’t have to go as far and we can get there earlier, i honestly just think he’s slightly nervous and wants to spend time with someone.”

“i’ve not prepared a bag or anything as i was just planning on grabbing everything i needed in the morning, but i’m down to go with you. i’ll pack a bag real quick, make yourself feel at home. you can stay down here or come upstairs with me.”

tubbo followed you upstairs, and helped you pick which outfits would be the best to wear for the trip. around 10 minutes later you finished packing your bag and turned around to see a very pale tubbo, dropping your bag to the floor you pulled a chair up to your bed sitting opposite him.

“you feeling okay tubs?”

“just nerves, I'll be alright, are you ready to go?”

“ready if you are!”

the journey to tommys was relatively quick, you spent it talking about group plans for when ranboo comes to the uk.

tubbo: almost here!

tommy: yes! want to stream for a bit later, just something small could do laugh and the stream ends. i’ll go talk to my mum now!

•••

tubbo: please open the door

tommy: on it

the pair of you stood at the door waiting for tommy to unlock it

“TUBBO! Y/N I'M GLAD YOU COULD BOTH MAKE IT!”

not too long later, you and tubbo had put everything away and sat with tommy planning out a small stream.

“so i was talking with my parents and we can do an outside stream, and set fire to marshmallows!”

“as much as i love fire tommy i don’t think your parents will appreciate arson in the garden.”

“it’ll be fine now grab a jacket, we need to go walk to the shop.”

the three of you set off determined to get to the shop and back before it got dark, tommy and tubbo walked on either side of you as they want you to feel safe. thankfully the shop was only around the corner so you were all only out for about 20 minutes maximum, you probably could have made it back earlier but you stopped every time you saw a pretty rock.

“y/n come on we still need to stream!”

“did you tweet that you were streaming?”

“no he didn’t.”

“then come and look at this pretty rock!”

tommy and tubbo couldn’t help but laugh at how many rocks you managed to pick up.

•••

“guys i think i’d rather just spend time with you all rather than stream.”

“that’s fine, tommy!!”

the three of you sat around the fire updating one another about plans and opportunitie, coming. the conversation swiftly came to an end when tommy had set fire to a stick claiming it was to make the fire grow. you laughed as you heard his mum yelling at him to stop trying to set you and tubbo on fire.

“sorry about that everyone, but look the fire is big again.”

it got colder as the sun went down, so the three of you sat with a blanket draped over you all. his mum offered to take photos for you and you happily accepted, the pictures looked amazing and you posted it to instagram with the caption ‘i am cold and no one is telling me what’s happening tomorrow.’

it was around 11pm when the three of you agreed it was time to go back inside and sleep.

•••

you and tubbo stayed downstairs and tommy stayed in his room. the sound of tubbos alarm woke the pair of you up.

“turn that fucking thing off!”

“this is the fourth time it’s gone off and you’re still not up?”

“that’s because i’m tired.”

“please get ready jack will be here soon enough.”

realisation finally hit today was the day you were finally about to find out what this once in a lifetime opportunity was. tubbo advised you to wear sensible clothing and not wear the zodiac necklace you always wore, so you decided to wear the hoodie ranboo sent you a week ago and leggings.

“y/n you might wanna tie your hair up.”

“tubbo are you sure you’re feeling okay? you genuinely look ill."

“i’m fine.”

jack: right i’m outside so whenever you’re ready

lani: we’re making our own way later on as the hotel we stayed at is closer

y/n: will someone tell me what we’re doing

ranboo: no

y/n: you’re not even joining us how did you get in the gc

ranboo: magic

y/n: fuck off give me a clue

ranboo: i’ve said it since you dyed your hair neon f/c you’d be able to see from way up in the sky

y/n: what the actual hell is that supposed to mean

•••

soon enough you met up with everyone else and lani started recording.

“we’re skydiving, you ready tubbo?”

“WERE DOING WHAT? HOLY SHIT!”

you honestly couldn’t wait to do this. it was something you had wanted to do for a while, tubbo on the other hand clearly didn’t agree, which was evident through his whining.

you stood with tommy laughing as tubbo sat alone questioning why he agreed to this.

“look at him.”

“he’s is not happy.”

you sat next to jack and tubbo watching the video demonstrating what you will all be doing soon. you let out a nervous laugh, as although you were excited, you couldn’t help but be a bit nervous.

“you could fall into the engine and get chopped up.”

“tommy stop scaring tubbo!”

“what if the parachute doesn’t work?”

“free fall to your death.”

“y/n you’re not helping!”

you stood recording tubbo laying on the floor once again whining.

“tubbo there are so many people behind you!”

“i’m sure the parachute won’t fail tubbo, but if it does it was lovely knowing you!”

“uuuuuuugh!”

“i fully agree bo.”

soon enough you tommy and jack joined tubbo on the floor.

“look at the clouds.”

“we’re going to be in them soon.”

“hell yeah!”

“ughhhh!”

you tried not to laugh trying to calm tubbo down a bit before you all jumped out a plane, which worked until you left him alone with tommy whilst you spoke to jack for a while.

“to be fair that looks quite fun.”

“and dangerous!”

“STOP!”

“well sounds like tubbos thrilled to be here.”

the four of you sat on a bench talking about what’s going to happen, and laughing at tubbos nerves trying to make light of the situation.

“look it’ll be fun, tubbo, provided we don’t die there’s a chance we’ll be in more vlogs.. okay so ignore the black cloud of smoke!”

“that’s not a good omen.”

“shut up!”

you wrapped an arm around tubbo trying to make him feel comfortable and reassure him it’ll be fine, only to be interrupted by jack and tommy bickering about eating before jumping from the plane.

•••

the four of you went to the briefing, at this point you were struggling to contain your excitement, and couldn’t help but laugh out of pure joy.

“no, they are listening, they're just excited.”

after doing training for the jump, you stood with tommy whilst someone questioned him about how he got 9 million subs.

“I just went around being incredibly cool.. doing minecraft.”

you and jack burst out laughing whilst tommy went on to make jokes about how much money he was earning.

•••

it was now almost time to jump out a plane. it was around now nerves were kicking in, so you all went around messing about till you were told it’s time to make your way to get ready.

“let’s go gamers!”

•••

“are you a skydiver enjoyer?”

“i am.”

“well that’s always good... please, don’t let me die!”

“y/n are you scared?”

“no, my ranboo merch will protect me, but if i die can we blame tommy for coming up with this?”

“ranboos not going to believe that you’re wearing the jumper he sent you to jump out a plane.”

a few minutes later you over heard a worker say they’re nervous causing you to tilt your head and blink again, trying to process what was said.

“heh???”

it was now time for the four of you to put the equipment on, so you were ready to jump. jack started talking a lot more than usual at a quicker pace due to the fact he was getting nervous. tommy pointed it out and jack trying to argue he wasn’t made you laugh.

“y/n keeps making a lot of jokes about my parachute being shit.”

“sorry manifold should be fine...more than likely...hopefully. only time will tell really.”

“how you doing buddy?”

“i’m feeling okay. i feel my insides doing inside bits.”

“wonderful!”

you were now all waiting to go as a worker jokes about forgetting something.

“y/n you’re going with him!”

“okay, but why?”

“well you said your ranboo merch will protect you..”

someone went by going rather fast causing you to stare in awe.

“we don’t go that fast, do we?”

“no not unless something goes terribly wrong.”

you all stood there laughing.

“stoppppp!”

“y/n, i’m now thinking you should go with them instead!”

“are you trying to kill me off jack?”

•••

you all set off towards the plane, a mixture of excitement and nerves began kicking in.

“tubbos on a lead.”

“oh i’m really nervous jack.”

“look at y/n!”

lani began to record you, who was now way ahead of the others, so you stopped and waved at lani.

“BYE LANI! HOPEFULLY ILL SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!”

the others caught up and everyone had their equipment checked again.

“oh dear.. should be fine.”

“i’m alright, don’t worry my ranboo merch will protect us!” you got on first and that when you realised they set you up, so you jumped last as you were more confident and tubbo was jumping first so he could get it out the way.

you all sat on the plane and waved at the camera.

“hi there!”

“hello!”

“hi!”

“please don’t let us die!”

“we’re really jumping out a plane with a dream stan.”

“this is the highest we’ve ever been.”

“gamers in a plane whatever will they do...hopefully not die!”

“Y/N!”

“sorry tubbo!”

you were currently at 2,000 feet and sat looking out the window waiting to reach 14,000 feet. jack turned to you and tommy, “i can’t believe you’re jumping out the plane in philza merch and y/ns jumping out in ranboo merch.”

“if i die at least ill look great doing it.”

12,000 feet later it was now tubbos turn to jump, he looked back at you all.

“YOU GOT THIS TUBBO!!”

you watched as tubbo went.

“GOOD LUCK TOMMY!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN GOOD LUCK? Y/N?”

“BYEEEEE!”

you laughed as tommy went.

“see you later jack!”

you gave jack a high-five and watched as he went.

“holy shit they actually did it!”

“are you ready, y/n?”

“hell yeah, let’s do this!”

you laughed as you jumped, you couldn’t believe you actually got to jump out of a plane, you waved at camera.

lani met the others as they landed and began telling them about it.

“wait where’s y/n?”

“there they are!”

“Y/N!”

the others ran up to you as you landed.

“i’m glad you didn’t die!”

“thanks jack!”

•••

“would you all do it again?”

“yeah.”

“no.”

“maybe, i’m not sure.”

“i reckon so.”

not too long later, you were all given certificates to celebrate the fact you had jumped out a plane.

“yay it made nearly dying worth it!”

“you’re so dramatic!”

•••

you thought the day was over and that you were going home, little did you know that wasn’t the case.

“were not done for the day.”

“what?”

“heh?”

“you’re tilting your head again.”

“i know it’s because i’m confused!”

“anyway, what do you mean we’re not done?”

“you know george, he’s arrived!”

“gogy!”

“GOGY!”

“can i have a nap in the car please? i’m so exhausted."

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y

#mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt writing #mcyt imagines #mcyt imagine #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit x y/n #tommyinnit fluff #tommyinnit imagine #tommyinnit x reader #tubbo x you #tubbo x y/n #tubbo fluff #tubbo imagine #tubbo x reader #jack manifold x you #jack manifold x y/n #jack manifold fluff #jack manifold imagine

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peaceisadirtyword · 3 years

Text

Move On IV (Modern!Ivar/Reader)

A/N: Hello!💕 I don’t even know how I managed to finish this with the crazy week I’ve had💀 I had 3 exams, a huge paper to hand in and a presentation. But somehow, I did this too and I wanted to post it as soon as possible🥰 I’m quite happy of how this one turned out considering I hadn’t that much time to work on it. So I hope you like it!♥️ There’s not many parts left (2 or 3) but I have an idea for a “sequel” so if you guys like this one, maybe when it’s done I’ll work on that!

Now enjoy, stay safe and enjoy the holidays, even if this year isn’t the best one for celebrations😅 See you soon🥰

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex, angst, implied Hvitserk x Reader, don’t kill me for this lol

Words: 4179 (I’m sorry)

Move On II III

gifs belong to @therealcalicali and @honestsycrets

You actually liked to go shopping. You enjoyed walking around the shops and looking at beautiful clothes and shoes. You didn't like to try on the clothes, though, because the comparisons between the model on the photos and you were awful.

"Aren't you gonna try that on, Y/N?"

Torvi's voice startled you. She just got out of one of the fitting rooms, wearing a beautiful silver dress that made her look even better than the model. You widened your eyes.

"I... Don't think this will fit me" you glanced at the clothes they made you pick. Party clothes; tight dresses, short skirts, low cut crop tops... "I'm more of a comfy sweatpants and oversized hoodies girl" you raised an eyebrow.

Torvi chuckled, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

"Come on, Y/N, I want to see how you look on them!"

She looked at herself on the mirror, frowning softly. You looked at the pile of clothes on the wooden table and wondered why you agreed to go shopping with Torvi, Gunhild and Lagertha when you could be at home, eating cookies and watching Disney movies with Hvitserk.

They insisted on going shopping and then go and grab lunch. As you barely had any social life anymore, you thought it'd be a great idea. Then they entered one of those expensive shops that you could only admire from afar and glare with jealousy to the people that exited the store with a couple of bags.

"Okay, I think this is the one" Torvi shrugged happily "What do you think?" She turned around and you smiled softly.

"You look beautiful"

"Thank you" her smile widened "You're the sweetest, Y/N"

"Are you girls done?" Lagertha's voice startled you, her head peeked through the door.

"Nearly" Torvi winked at her "What do you think about this dress? Y/N likes it"

"I think you look perfect on it" Lagertha smiled at her ex daughter in law. You were still amazed with the narrative of that family, but it wasn't your place to judge "What about you, Y/N? Did you try anything?"

You opened your mouth to speak, but Torvi interrupted you.

"She didn't, I keep telling her she should, but she won't listen" she raised an eyebrow and you groan, rubbing your face.

"Come on, we're not leaving until you try something on" Lagertha chuckled.

Sighing, you rubbed your face and grabbed the clothes, rolling your eyes as you entered the fitting room, making Torvi and Lagertha smirk in victory.

_________________________________________

"So... We could go out" Torvi looked excited as you stared at your lunch. You had nothing against modern, expensive restaurant but you weren't sure if it was legal that they asked that amount of money for that.

"We're already out, Torvi" Gunhild chuckled. Out of all of them, she was the one you could relate to the most, she was the most calm, the quiet, but also as fierce as Lagertha if not more.

"I know" Torvi rolled her eyes "But maybe we should go out to a nightclub, you know, I haven't been out in forever and I want to, this whole 'plan the perfect wedding' thing is stressing me out"

"You don't need to plan the perfect wedding, every wedding is perfect when you're in love" Lagertha raised her cup of champagne softly, and you chewed at your food slowly.

"I know, I know, I just... Ubbe is the one, you know?"

"We know, Torvi" Gunhild smiled widely at her "But you see... My own wedding with Björn was quite rushed, and still... Magical" she blushed softly, looking down.

You smiled, remembering her wedding. You had attended with Ivar, who wasn't too excited to go to his half-brother's wedding and was nearly obligated by his family. The two of you left very early, but not before having sex on the limousine Björn had rented.

"I know you will have the same thing with Ubbe, I can see it" Lagertha caressed Torvi's hand over the table.

"Okay stop getting emotional, I know what you're doing" she narrowed her eyes at them "Can we go out, please?"

They laughed, and even you chuckled softly.

"Y/N, I trust you, don't leave me alone" she pouted at you "Tonight?"

"I'm afraid I work tonight" you smiled apologetically "But you all can go out! I'm sure you'll have a better time without me"

"No, we need you" she sighed "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I suppose tomorrow is fine..."

"Perfect!" She giggled.

"I'm afraid my time on nightclubs is already over, girls" Lagertha laughed "But I wish you have a great time, enjoy your youth"

"I think I can" Gunhild nodded "But I'll leave early"

Torvi looked satisfied.

"Okay, I can call Sigurd's new girlfriend too"

"Sigurd has a girlfriend?" You raised an eyebrow. You didn't know anything, but as you barely talked to him due to his bad relationship with Ivar, it didn't surprise you.

"Yeah, I met her when we had dinner with them to tell them about the wedding... She's cute, and nice... It looks like our dear Sigurd finally settled down... Ubbe was relieved to hear about her, he was really worried that the rockstar life was too much for him"

Even Sigurd, the now semi-famous musician that girls pursued after his gigs, the soft and sweet Sigurd that had had nearly as many girls as Hvitserk, had settled down. He had an stable relationship. You, on the other hand, had a shitty job and spent your nights watching Disney movies.

You kept eating as Torvi talked about her favorite clubs, trying to decide which one was more suitable for a girls' night. But suddenly, someone entering the restaurant, and your eyes widened. Torvi stopped talking and Lagertha raised an eyebrow, turning her head to look at the door.

Of all the people you'd think you might run into on a posh restaurant, Aslaug wasn't one of them. She looked as beautiful and flawless as always, with her hair tied on an elegant bun and her subtle makeup that made her pretty eyes stand out. Ivar had his father's eye color, but the shape was much more similar to his mother's. They resembled each other, and it made your stomach turn.

She looked around the restaurant, and when her eyes found yours, she looked surprised. An strange expression crossed her face, but she flashed you a sweet smile. Aslaug seemed cold and distant to most people, but to you she was always sweet and caring, treating you like the daughter she always wanted but never got.

Her smile turned a bit stern when she looked at Lagertha and Torvi, ignoring Gunhild. Then she turned to the bar, smiling politely at the waitress.

Then the eyes turned to you. You cleared your throat nervously and avoided them. It was true that, out of Ivar's family, the only people you had a close relationship with were Hvitserk, Aslaug, Floki and Helga, and sometimes Ubbe, even if that changed when he decided to get closer to his half brother and Lagertha. Now things had changed, and you still felt a bit out of place in this new social circle Alfred had introduced to you, but your link to the "enemy" was much stronger.

"I... I'm going to say hello" you muttered.

No one said anything, and you nearly felt sick. When you arrived to the bar, Aslaug was talking to a man next to her. You hadn't even realized he walked in after her, like her favored son, she had the gift of making everyone aware of only her presence by just walking in a room.

"Hi, Aslaug"

She turned to face you, her face lightened up and her smile widened. This time it reached her eyes.

"Y/N, my sweet girl, hello" she hugged you tightly, and you sighed, hugging her back. You missed her "I was wondering if you'd say hello... How are you, my dear?"

"I'm fine" you nodded "How are you?"

"I'm good, honey, I'm so happy to see you, I was worried when you..." She licked her lips, nervously "I called you a couple of times, but you didn't pick up"

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that... I kind of neglected my phone for a few weeks"

"I understand" she nodded. If anyone in the world understood exactly how you felt, it was Aslaug "I truly do, Hvitserk has been talking to me about you, I'm glad you haven't completely cut off communications with my family, we need you"

"Of course" you giggled "Hvitserk is one of my closest friends, and that won't change"

I hope, you thought. You kind of felt very replaceable.

"I'm glad to see you" she repeated, the smile never left her lips "Remember you will always be welcome in our home, Y/N"

"Thank you, Aslaug" you nearly teared up "I think I should go back now..."

"Yeah, go and have fun, dear" she caressed your cheek softly, not even mentioning the people you were with "Goodbye"

"Bye, have a good day" you shot her another wide smile.

______________________________________________

Thora looked impressed when you arrived to the cafeteria with Torvi, Lagertha and Gunhild. She was polite to them, but it was obvious that she was surprised to see you hanging out with them.

'Wow' was the only thing she said once they left, making you promise you'd wear the dress you had bought that morning to the club the night after.

"Don't even mention it" you groaned, rubbing your face as the both of you got ready to start your shift.

"I didn't take you for someone that had brunch with these people" Thora held back a laugh, and you hit her arm playfully.

"They're really nice" you muttered "They're just trying to make me feel better"

"Yeah, they seem nice, but... Are you sure you fit in that group, Y/N?" She raised an eyebrow "Don't get offended, but I never pictured you in there"

"No, I don't" you sighed "As I'm seeing Alfred now, I suppose they see me like one of them"

"You're seeing..."

"Not like that" you glared at her "Shut up, we're just friends"

This time she didn't hold back the laugh.

"I went on a date with Hvitserk" she cleared her throat, and you looked up at her again, interested.

"And?"

"Nothing, he's just not my type" she shrugged, making you groan.

"He likes you, I know it" you winked at her.

Thora shook her head.

"Hvitserk is the kind of man that likes everyone" she laughed "It's okay, he's nice and fun, but not what I'm looking for... I have another date tonight, though, with a guy I met on Tinder"

"You're on Tinder?" You frowned as you kept drying the coffee cups.

"Yes, and you should too" she giggled when you widened your eyes at her "Come on, Y/N, you're young, hot and cute, stop thinking about a boy that didn't appreciate you, you deserve to spend your nights having orgasms, not chocolate ice-cream"

"But I like chocolate ice-cream" you muttered.

"More than orgasms?" She chuckled, and just when you were about to answer, she interrupted you "Don't answer, you're weird" she rolled her eyes.

Hvitserk surprised you at the end of your shift with a bag full of beers. He had brought his car and offered you a late night with beer, chips and reality shows. As it was probably the best plan you could have, you said yes, and opened one of the beers even before entering the car. You saw Hvitserk glance at Thora as she stayed to close the cafeteria and wait for her date, chatting with a girl she knew from university that visited her at work.

"You should work a bit for it" you said, raising an eyebrow at him as he drove to your home with a poker face.

"She's not interested" he shrugged. As Hvitserk wasn't used to having girls reject him, it had hurt his pride.

"But you can make her interested if you do things right" you chuckled "You Lothbrok boys are always waiting for girls battling their eyelashes at you"

Hvitserk laughed.

"You're right, what can I say? I'm surprised you didn't battle your eyelashes at me yet"

"I was busy with your brother, Hvitty" you giggled "Until he got tired of me"

Hvitserk's smile faded slowly, and as soon as he could, he put his hand on your thigh, turning to look at you.

"How are you, Y/N?"

"I'm fine, it's okay" you muttered, shrugging "I saw your mother today"

"Yeah she told me" he nodded, his attention back to the road "She also asked me not to say anything to Ivar" he sighed "It's because she doesn't like Freydis, she came home for dinner the other day and I could swear she would have loved to sink the knife on her neck" he held back a smile.

God, you loved Aslaug.

"Why? What happens with Freydis that no one likes her?" You asked, curious.

"You've seen them together, haven't you?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, briefly... Alfred and I left immediately, I barely talked to them"

"Ivar is infatuated with her" he sighed "He's lost his mind, Y/N, he's not even rational now, his whole world is Freydis, it's not love, it's... I'm worried about him" he frowned "He's changing, he can't see anything past her"

"Have you tried to talk to him? Maybe he needs a bit of big brother guidance"

"I can't talk to him, he's... He doesn't listen. No matter what I tell him, he doesn't trust me"

"Ivar has a hard time trusting people" you said softly "Maybe..."

"Don't defend him" he glared at you "I know what you mean, but he's known her for a few months, Y/N, and he's pushing away every single person that was important to him, he's not even going to physical therapy anymore"

You frowned a bit. Ivar hated therapy, but he always understood he needed to do it. Suddenly you felt the need of texting him.

"Stop worrying about him, Y/N" Hvitserk narrowed his eyes "It's my job to worry about him because he's my little brother, but you can forget about him now"

When you arrived home, Hvitserk went directly to the kitchen to heat up the sandwiches you had taken from the cafeteria and put the beers in the fridge as you entered your bedroom, sighing tiredly.

"I'm going to take a shower" you raised your voice, and after Hvitserk hummed, probably with his mouth full of food, you entered the bathroom, closing the door and taking off your clothes.

The warm water relaxed your body and you were able to finally stop thinking, leaving your mind completely blank.

It didn't last, though.

As soon as you left the shower, you unlocked your phone, looking for Ivar's contact. The last text messages you had exchanged were from the last days of your relationship. Ivar didn't like to text, so he usually only replied with monosyllables and then called you to hear your voice, but in those last weeks he hadn't even replied. In that moment, you had tried to convince yourself that it was normal, that he might hadn't feel like texting you, but then he had broken up with you. Scrolling down the messages, you could tell exactly the day he had realized he wasn't in love with you anymore -if he had ever been in love, which you started to doubt-. You let your throat ache and a couple of tears run down your cheek before wiping them away and writing the message you had in mind.

Hi Ivar. Are you okay?

You didn't think he'd reply. But after hearing people saying how weird Ivar was acting (even more than the usual) and how Freydis had changed him, you started to wonder if he was okay. No matter how much he hurt you, he was still someone you cared deeply about.

A knock on the bathroom door startled you.

"Y/N? Are you alive?" Hvitserk sounded a bit worried as he knocked on the door. You cleared your throat and dried the few tears on your face.

"Yes! Sorry! I'll be out in five!"

____________________________________

The beers didn't last as long as you thought. It was past midnight when Hvitserk convinced you to open the bottle of vodka you had bought months ago and already forgot why.

It resulted on a blurry night, as the both of you started feeling more and more happy, you watched stupid movies and laughed at them. You forgot about Ivar, the text and the ache in your chest. Hvitserk was the only one that could make you forget everything and laugh so much.

"Come on, that never happens" Hvitserk groaned, rubbing his eyes with his voice already a bit unsteady. The brothers had a high alcohol tolerance, but Hvitserk was always the one that got drunk first "The girl never runs back to us, we're the ones that have to chase them"

You giggled drunkenly, hitting his arm.

"Yeah, we have to make you work for it"

He rolled his eyes, drinking directly from the bottle now.

"It's always easier to go out to a pub and have sex with another girl"

You giggled again. For some reason, every single thing he said felt like the funniest thing ever.

"Yeah, we can do that too" you smirked "For example, as you don't want to work for Thora, she's now out on a date and probably having sex with another guy while you're in my apartment getting drunk and criticizing terrible movies... Who's losing now?" You raised an eyebrow, smiling in victory. Hvitserk frowned and glared at you as you laid back on the couch.

"Are you saying I should go out and find someone to have sex with?"

"No" you giggled "I'm saying you should call Thora tomorrow"

"Anyway" he scoffed again "You should be the one going out to have sex"

"Me?" You laughed "Why?"

"When was the last time you had an orgasm, Y/N?"

You closed your eyes and pressed your fingers against your temple. It was hard to think when you had that... Noise in your head.

"I can't remember" you muttered "Probably before..." You hummed. He knew what you meant.

"What?" He widened his eyes, and his jaw dropped "It's been months, Y/N, what the hell?" He groaned "You didn't even touch yourself?"

You were so drunk that you didn't even flinch at his question.

"I don't have time for that" you frowned.

"Well, now I know why you're always pouting and looking like a lost puppy"

You opened your eyes to glare at him, even if you only saw a blurry bulge on the other side of your couch.

"I don't pout" you scoffed "And I'm just not ready to get to know someone new, Hvitty"

"You don't have to know them, you just need to fuck them" he shrugged "It works, you know, it helps to move on... In fact, this is what you should do; you should go out, pick someone, take them to my flat and fuck them on Ivar's bed"

You couldn't help the burst of laugher that brought tears to your eyes. Hvitserk looked amused.

"I'm serious, that should teach that asshole a fucking lesson, he needs it"

"I miss him" you muttered when the laughter died down "I texted him"

You couldn't see it, but Hvitserk sighed and rubbed his eyes. He moved then, startling you when he laid down next to you, hugging you softly. It made you smile.

"You need to stop, Y/N" he whispered then, and the lump in the throat came back "You really need to move on, you're amazing, and there's so many people in the world that deserves you much more than my stupid brother"

"I know" you sighed "But I want him"

Hvitserk hummed. He knew the feeling. He also knew you'd get over it, with time, but now it was difficult.

"That's why you need to go out there and enjoy your youth, Y/N" he drank from the bottle again, making you laugh "Get drunk, have sex and stop living like you're fifty and getting over your second divorce"

"Sounds easy when you say it" you giggled turning around to face him.

"You just need to do it" he muttered. Your eyelids already felt heavy, and when you opened your eyes, you saw Ivar. You didn't even know why, Ivar and Hvitserk didn't really look alike, but in that moment you saw him, his deep blue eyes staring at you, his pouty lips, his cute nose... Even that nervous expression he had whenever the two of you were alone. Your heart started beating faster and faster, and you felt his arms around you. You could even smell him. Oh, gods, you missed him so much. You would give anything, your own life, just to be able to kiss him again, even if it was for the last time.

So you just leant in and kissed him.

He kissed you back, but that kiss didn't feel like Ivar's... This one was much more rushed, it was good but... It lacked Ivar's passion and intensity. It wasn't the same.

Anyway, you kept kissing him, as his hands roamed up and down your body. You might knew you were kissing Hvitserk, but decided to ignore it. Maybe he was right and you just needed someone to move on.

_______________________________________

Ivar just glared at his phone. He had been glaring at it for the past two hours, since Freydis left, saying she was meeting some friends that night. Then he checked his phone and he nearly dropped it when he saw your name on his screen. Why were you texting him now? He thought you hated him. It was easier that way.

He rubbed his face, groaning and laying back on his bed. His legs hurt so much that day... No matter how many painkillers he had taken, how much he rested. He was feeling like someone just ran over him with a truck.

Hvitserk didn't come home either. Not that it made a difference. The long nights they spent drinking cheap beer and talking about family and life were long forgotten. They weren't as close now. He was probably fucking someone he just met, or getting drunk. Did he mention he'd go to your house to see you? Maybe. Ivar had stopped listening whenever your name came up, trying to avoid that rage he felt the last time he saw you, getting all cozy and giggly with Alfred. The fucking Alfred.

You always insisted he was only a friend, but he knew better, if he hadn't left you for Freydis, you'd probably have ended up leaving him for Alfred. He was better for you anyway.

Hi Ivar. Are you okay?

Why did you care? Were you thinking about him and suddenly wanted to know if he was okay? Did anyone say anything to you?

He had to hold back a smile when he saw your profile picture. It was you in Iceland, hugging one of the huskies Floki had on his house in Skógar. Freki, the husky you had fallen in love with, was infatuated with you, too, and Ivar found very amusing how he would follow you anywhere, trying to get your attention. It reminded him of himself, actually, annoyed when you diverted your attention to something that wasn't him. Ivar had a serious talk with the dog, explaining him that he wasn't allowed to get into bed with you, let alone cuddle you in your sleep, the only living being that could do that was Ivar.

He took that picture one morning you decided to take Freki for a walk. The husky had been so excited to see you that he had knocked you down to the floor, making you laugh. The picture had you looking at the camera, hugging Freki as he tried to lick your cheek.

When he locked his phone again, the warm tingling on his chest disappeared. It made him sigh, closing his eyes. Freydis was perfect, wasn't she? She was beautiful, sweet, she loved him. She made him understand he was special, that he needed no one but her.

She was perfect. She was the one, and she loved him as much as he did, she always said it. At least a few times a day, she smiled sweetly and said that she loved him, so that meant she loved him, right? You didn't say it that much. But then again, you would have never left him alone knowing he was in pain.

Shaking his head, he unlocked his phone again and wrote a quick text.

Yeah, thanks.

Then he deleted your number. He didn't want to see that photo with Freki, smiling at him, he didn't want to think about you or about what you would have done. You weren't part of his life anymore.

Tags: @mblaqgi @alicedopey @lol-haha-joke @hallowed-heathen @naaladareia @tephi101 @captstefanbrandt @love-hate-love @titty-teetee @readsalot73 @moondustmemories @thevikingsheaux @therealcalicali @blushingskywalker @awkwardfangirl02 @gruffle1 @justacripple @love-dria @heartbeats-wildly @letsrunawaytotomorrow @inforapound @sallydelys @hellogabysblog @hecohansen31 @youbloodymadgenius @xinyourdreamsx @funmadnessandbadassvikings @eteramfools @tgrrose @flokidottirsstuff @lovessce @tootie-fruity @didiintheblog @alexhandersenx @belovedcherry @fantasydevil2002 @xceafh @astrape-the-weatherwitch @destynelseclipsa @poisonous00 @littlebear423 @xbellaxcarolinax @soleil-dor @geekydane-post @katarokkar11 @crackhead1-800

I hope I didn’t forget anyone :( if I did please tell me

#ivar imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar x reader #modern ivar #vikings #vikings imagine #modern vikings

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strawberryteaprincess · 3 years

Text

The Class Group Chat: Part 2

(sorry for not posting yesterday. i forget date .-.)

20 03 Thursday

Alya: i need help

Alix: hey alya. sup?

Alya: anyone know how to solve question 5 on the math homework?

Alix: WE HAD MATH HOMEWORK????

Alya: -_-

Max: @Alya You need to use the Pythagoras theory to solve for c before finding the area and then using it to find the area of the rectangle.

Alya: ohhhh, thats what i do?

Alix: WHATS THE MATH HOMEWORK?!

Alya: pg 103 of our textbook, numbers 1-10

Alix: 10 questions?!

Alya: and they have kids

Alix: what??

Max: She means they have sub-questions.

Alix: DOES MADAME LAURENT WANT TO KILL US?!

Lila: actually, she's MADEMOISELLE Moulin now. She got divorced a few days ago.

Alya: SHE GOT WHAT?!

Max: Are you sure Lila?

Lila: at least, thats what i heard from aurore

Adrien: Hey guys! what are we talking about?

Alix: WHO KNOWS HOW TO SOLVE QUESTION 1A

Adrien: Oh, it's a quote from the extract on line 5 of the first paragraph

Alix: what extract???

Alya: Adrien, its 5.4 litres

Alix: THANK YOU!

Adrien: oh, you meant for the math homework

Adrien: I thought you meant the literature homework

Alix: WE HAVE LITERATURE HOMEWORK????

Alya: WHAT?! I DIDN'T KNOW!

Max: You didn't? I did.

Lila: oh, i did too but my rare illness needed a surgery so i was unable to do the homework

Adrien: oh the lit homework isnt that long Lila. im sure youll be able to finish it if u start now

Lila: ... thanks adrien

Adrien: anytime 😇

Marinette: why are all of you chatting so late 😑

Alix: MARINETTE, WHATS THE LITERATURE HOMEWORK?!

Marinette: um, i dont remember. pg 18 i think?

Alix: THANK YOU!

Lila: @Marinette actually marinette, its page 27.

Marinette: i dont remember being the one who asked

Lila: wow mari u dont have to be so mean

Alix: Wait, so what page is it???

Adrien: actually Lila, marinettes right. its page 18. u should check ur sources before giving Alix the wrong info. just some friendly advice :)

Lila: ...

Lila: oh, thank you babe

Marinette: COUGH COUGH, EXCUSE ME???

Lila: oh, i didnt tell u. adrien and i are dating

Adrien: no were not

Lila: yes we are

Adrien: no were not

Lila: yes we are

Adrien: no were not

Alix: STOP SPAMMING THE CHAT AND TELL ME THE ANSWER FOR NUMBER 1B!

Marinette: oh, well bi is sandstone while bii is convergent

Alix: ??????

Max: She means for the geography homework.

Alya: WHAT DID U JUST SAY?!

Adrien: wait, we had geography homework?!

Lila: oh, i knew about that one too, but i like i said, my surgery took a lot of time so i couldnt do it

Alya: why dont u stop texting and start writing then???

Lila: ...

Alya: u know what, why am i even online?!

Alya: Marinette, whats the geo homework?!

Marinette: page 54, numbers 1 to 15

Alya: FIFTEEN?!

Marinette: Mr. Lavigne gave us this last week. why have none of u done it -_-

Rose: wait! whats all this about homework???

Kim: wait, we had homework? 😨

Alya: IF ABSOLUTELY ANYONE KNOWS WE HAVE ANY HOMEWORK LEFT, TELL US ALL NOW

Juleka: has anyone else done the biology homework?

Alya: MERCI LE DIEU. something ive done

Alix: ERROR! DID U JUST SAY BIOLOGY??!!

Kim: WE HAVE HOMEWORK???? 😱

Marinette: yeah, its an essay on the alimentary canal

Alix: Marinette im freaking pissed right now so quit speaking chinese and tell us the homework in english

Marinette: -_- that was english dummy

Alix: MAX!

Alix: TRANSLATE NOW!!!

Max: Write a 200 word essay on the digestive system.

Alix: Lord have mercy

Lila: oh, i couldnt do that one either because of my surgery

Alya: WAIT, IT WAS 200 WORDS?!

Alya: I THOUGHT IT WAS 50!!!

Nino: why the heck are you all still awake

Alya: Nino you better not tell us we have more homework

Nino: more homework?

Nino: oh, u mean the ones due tomorrow?

Alix: TOMORROW??!!!!

Rose: please tell us whats due Nino!

Nino: wait a sec, im reading the chat

Nino: oh, well, all the ones you've mentioned actually

Nino: due tomorrow

Ms. Bustier: I just saw the notifications from the chat and decided that you students need a reminder. Please remember your Literature, Mathematics, Geography, Biology and Physics homework are due tomorrow.

Juleka: oh no. im not done with my physics

Marinette: wait, physics was the diagram right?

Marinette: i totally forgot! im not done!!!

Adrien: 🙀

Rose: @Juleka im coming to ur house. we arent sleeping tonight

Alya: @Nino I AM COMING TO YOUR HOUSE. UNLOCK YOUR DOOR!

Alix: @Nino PLEASE LET ME COME TO!!!

Nino: @Alix sure but hurry up, im locking my door a few minutes after alya gets here

Kim: @Nino can i come too????

Nino: @Kim sure, just hurry

Max: Nino, if I may, may I attend this impromptu event? My assistance may be needed.

Nino: yes please

Adrien: @Marinette can i come to ur house? pwease??

Marinette: sure but ya better hurry up

Lila: wait, why is adrien going to marinettes house

Lila: hello?

Lila: does no one think thats suspicious?

Lila: guys?

Ms. Bustier: Lila, you've done all your homework?

Lila: actually ms bustier, due to my surgery, i was unable to do any of my assignments. its very disappointing and im incredibly sorry. i wish there was more time for me to get it done.

Ms. Bustier: Oh, it's okay Lila. Just send a scanned copy of your discharge papers to my email and I'll take care of the rest.

Lila: my what?

Ms. Bustier: The papers that tell me you've been discharged from the hospital. I'll send you my email if you need it.

Ms. Bustier: Lila?

Ms. Bustier: Are you still there?

#lilas currently fuming #and finishing five books of homework all by herself #also i wonder what marinette and adrien are doing #just studying?#i think not #not implying anything tho #miraculous #mlb #miraculous ladybug #miraculous lb

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fairlyspnfanfic · 3 years

Text

The Ties That Bind Us - Part 7

Summary: When your past comes back to haunt you, who will prevail? Hunting had been your life since you were 4 years old. The monsters that started you on that path were resurfacing, and you knew what you had to do. But nothing is ever truly secret, and nothing is ever that cut and dry with the Winchester’s in tow.

A/N: This is a new one that is coming from a few requests. I’m not going to post the actual requests because…well because it would spoil the story line and I’m pretty into this one.

A/N 2: This is some fluff for you. Just wait. We aren’t quite done yet.

Words: 2381

Warnings: Trauma, medical terminology, stress, hospital waiting room

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR PART FIVE PART SIX

I opened my eyes slowly as I raised my hands to my face, gently rubbing my eyelids and pulling the sandy bits of sleep out of the corners of my eyes. My entire body was sore, and pain radiated its way from my back straight through my abdomen as I quickly wrapped my arm around my waist, wincing as I attempted to sit up straight.

The dim, unflattering glow of the fluorescent lights above my bed lit up just a small portion of the hospital room, but it was enough for my eyes to land on and focus on the slumped over form in the chair that was pressed up to the side of my bed. Sam’s long hair was draped over his face as he slept. Small, discernable breaths coming in and out of his mouth which hung open. I laughed as a loud snore echoed throughout the room. My laughter only served to increase my pain and I yelped in surprise as a sharp twinge of agony shot through me.

Sam woke almost instantly, falling out of the chair as his feet hit the floor and his hands rested on the side of my bed. “Y/N,” he questioned. “What’s wrong?” His hand flew to my forehead, and his eyes searched mine for any indication of what was going on.

I took a deep breath, gasping at first, but calming myself within a few breaths. I shook my head. “I’m fine, it’s fine.” Slowly, I propped myself up and leaned against my pillow, sitting up as best as I could.

He looked at me suspiciously. “I’m gonna go get the doctor,” he said, pointing his thumb behind him towards the door. I nodded silently as he stood up and jogged out the doorway.

I couldn’t hear the name he was calling as he went down the hall, farther and farther from my room. But I was struggling to care. My memories were flooding my head. The image of my mother making dinner, eating dinner with my parents, lounging on the beach with them, the comfort their voices brought me. Turning my head, I looked out the window down into the parking lot. It was cold and gray out and the windowpane was coated in raindrops that were continuously falling. I watched them fall, feeling my chest tighten and seem to drop into my body as I choked back tears.

It wasn’t long before footsteps were coming through the door and heading for me. “Ms. Y/L/N, it’s good to have you with us.” The doctor’s cheery voice was high pitched and more excited than I could muster to pretend to be. Sam lingered in the hallway, his phone held up to his ear as he paced back and forth, his eyes fixed on me.

“How are you feeling?” The doctor looked at me, chart in hand.

My eyes drifted over to her face, struggling to fixate on her. I shrugged noncommittally. “Are you in any pain?” She walked over to the machine that stood next to me, monitoring my vitals and pushing fluids through my veins. Her hand reached out to the control box, pushing a few buttons as she did so, before looking back down at me.

“Some,” I muttered, my voice gravelly. “It’s fine.”

She frowned slightly. “The goal is to have no pain for you. You’ve got a lot of healing to do. I’ll have your dosage updated.” I watched as she made a note in my chart before setting it down on the side table. She drew her stethoscope off her neck and placed the buds in her ears. Leaning towards me, she placed a gentle hand on my back, encouraging me to lean forward, as she pressed the stethoscope just below my shoulder blade. I took an instinctive deep breath, choking as my throat constricted, feeling as though I was drowning.

“It’s okay,” she said, lighting patting my shoulder as she moved the diaphragm of her stethoscope to my chest. “You don’t have to take deep breaths. Just breathe normally,” she said. “You were intubated for quite a while. It’s going to take a bit for your windpipe to heal.”

Sam had taken a few steps into the room when my coughing had begun, and he was staring at me still; his cell phone pressed to his ear, but the microphone piece tilted closer to his chin. I nodded at him quickly, closing my eyes reassuringly. He nodded back and stepped back into the hallway, continuing his conversation.

The doctor finished her exam, poking and prodding, palpating and moving every part of my body that she could, and left the room, promising more pain medication and physical therapy. Once she had gone, Sam peered into the room again, making eye contact with me as he ended his call.

“Hey,” he said, just above a whisper with a hint of sympathy in his voice.

“I’m fine, Sam,” I insisted as I turned my head back to the window and the falling raindrops.

“Cut the shit, Y/N.” Sam’s voice was tough and firm now. My head snapped quickly back at him, glaring at him.

He held his hands up as if in surrender. “Hey, I’m just saying what I was told to say.” I cocked my head quizzically at him.

Sam rolled his eyes at me as if to tell me I should know what he was referring to. “Dean,” I asked. Sam nodded curtly. “Where is he?”

The last that I could remember, he had been lying next to me, his hand gently stroking my arm as I fell into a fitful sleep.

Sam dropped his head and sauntered over to the chair next to me once again, turning it around and taking a backwards seat in it. His arms leaned across the high back of the chair, creating a makeshift pillow with his forearms which he instantly leaned his chin against. His eyes were locked on mine, but he said nothing.

“Sam,” I insisted, my eyes narrowing as I urged him to speak. “Sam don’t make me yell. Everything hurts, and it’ll suck. But I’ll do it.”

He forcibly closed his eyes, irritation evident in his sigh as he pried his eyelids open and glowered at me. “He’s on his way.” I nodded, drawing my legs slowly up towards my torso, attempting to fold myself up into a ball.

“Y/N,” he began. “This was reckless.” I rolled my eyes in response. “I mean it. You ran out there without backup, barely armed, on foot, no getaway plan. It was reckless. You could’ve been killed.” He was getting louder now but kept his voice as even keel as possible. “You almost died, Y/N.” His eyes were glassy as he spoke, the words penetrating through my brittle exterior.

I took as deep of a breath as I could, holding the impulse to cough back as I dropped my head and wrapped my arms around one knee. “I know,” I said, the words full of hope and envy.

“You don’t exactly sound happy that you survived.” His words were a statement; accusatory in all the words he left unsaid. I slowly lifted my head, making eye contact with Sam once again as tears began to flow down my cheeks unbidden.

Before I could speak again, a nurse was coming through the doorway, a vial of clear liquid in hand which she quickly connected to my IV.

“This will help with the pain,” she assured me, as she slowly depressed the plunger.

Minutes passed by after the nurse left. Minutes that passed in silence as Sam continued scowling at me and I left him unanswered and unaddressed. My eyelids began to feel heavy, and the room seemed to be slowly spinning. I shut my eyes, leaning back again and spreading my legs out in front of me once more as I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up, feeling slightly groggy but the pain had dissipated. Sam was no longer sitting in the chair next to me and I could see that the sun had gone down outside. Slowly, I kicked my legs off the bed and felt my feet hit the floor. My hands pressed down on the bed on either side of my hips, pushing me up until I was standing on my own. The ache in my back was dull, but still present, and I could feel the weakness in my knees as soon as I put weight on them. But still, I reached out my hand, grasping the silver, metal pole holding the IV bag and took a few steps, each one shakier than the last. My breaths were labored but I was determined to move around. I reached my free hand around my back, ensuring that my gown had been sufficiently tied and that I wasn’t about to moon half the hospital. I held it secured between my fingers just in case.

My foot had just passed the end of the bed, and I turned toward the door when a familiar voice began chastising me.

“What the hell are you doing?” Dean’s worried voice rang out deeply as he walked through the door, his steps quickening as he reached for me. With his right arm wrapped around my waist, he gently turned me back towards the bed, muttering the entire way. “You trying to give me a heart attack? Stubborn as a mule. Gonna get yourself killed.”

I smiled silently, enjoying the familiarity that was Dean’s castigation. “I’m fine, Dean,” I assured him in my froggy voice. “See?” I held my hands up. “All parts attached and everything.” He sat me down on my bed slowly, taking care to lift each leg and tuck them underneath the comforter.

“The nurse said I would be able to go home tomorrow,” I stretched the truth. In reality, physical therapy was due to start tomorrow and I would possibly be discharged in a week’s time.

“Yeah, you’re not full of it at all, are you?” His eyes had a glow to them as he gave me half a smile. His hand was wrapped around my calf as he gently moved it just enough so that he could sit on the bed next to me; his left leg bent and leaning on the mattress as he leaned forward, staring at me.

“How are you, really?” All signs of teasing were gone now, and his expression meant he was serious. I swallowed hard, unwilling to tell him the truth. I settled for truth adjacent.

“The pain isn’t too bad anymore. I could go with being a bit stronger on my feet though.”

“Yeah, you know that’s not what I’m asking about.” His eyes were pensive as if he were trying to draw the truth from me like a salve. I gave him a quizzical look, unsure of what he was referring to.

“Y/N,” he whispered my name, almost like a prayer. “You said you wanted to go back. Before. When you woke up. That you’d made your choice and you were supposed to stay.” He stared at me, expecting me to fill the silence that loomed over us both. But I couldn’t bring my eyes to meet his, let alone form words to explain everything.

He reached his hand out, gently stroking my chin as he pulled my attention to his face. “Dean,” I whispered, pleading for him not to continue down this line of questioning.

“Tell me what’s going on,” he asked. “Please.” He was begging now, his eyes glassing over and desperation evident in his tone.

“I can’t,” I muttered, my voice trembling. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than the guilt and heartache that would be plastered on his face if I had told him the truth. If I had admitted to him where I was, and where I had chosen to stay.

Dean leaned forward, bending over himself in order to press his forehead against mine as he sighed in exasperation. “How did I know you were going to say that?”

I smiled shyly, letting a small, forced breath out through my nose as I reached out for his shoulder, nudging him to lay down next to me. He did as I had wordlessly requested, uncrossing his leg and leaning himself ever so languidly down next to me. His hands were clasped together on his abdomen, and his feet were tapping stressfully as he crossed his ankles at the foot of the bed.

“Everything’s fine,” I told him, nuzzling my chin into his shoulder as he grunted his disagreement with my statement. I took a deep breath in, enveloping myself in the calming scent that was Dean Winchester. Closing my eyes, I began to drift off, staying as aware as possible.

“Y/N?” He asked sheepishly as he turned his head to face me.

“Mm hmm?”

“I need you to stay with me,” he admitted. I opened my eyes, looking directly up into his caramel-apple orbs. The ones that were so comforting in their warmth, and now so eager in their desperation.

“Okay,” I returned.

“How do I get you to stay with me?” I shrugged in response, unsure as to what the right answer would be.

“I need you to tell me. Cause I’m pissed off all the time, I’m rude and dirty, and I get so sick of all the crap in my life. But you?” His words were rushed and panicked. “You make all that disappear. Even when I'm an idiot.” He paused for a moment; his eyes still stuck to mine. “I need you to stay with me. No matter what. Doesn’t matter what it takes or what I have to do.”

I swallowed hard in response; my mind blank and my heart rate accelerating as evidenced by the rapid beeping from the monitor behind me.

“I’ll stay,” I whispered, my voice cracking as I did so.

He nodded swiftly. “Good,” he whispered in return. “Cause I’m about to make it really hard for you to leave.” His words threw me for a loop and before I could fully process them, he had perched his hand on my chin and was pulling me closer towards him as his gentle, warm lips pressed against mine, dancing together to a tune we both seemed to know by heart.

To be continued….

Part Eight

Taglist (Tag requests are open):

@vicmc624 @waywardprincesa @heyyy-hey-babyyy @carissime72 @deans-baby-momma @formulafun @woodworthti666 @yetanotherreader @crashlyrose @hobby27 @gabby913 @jxackles @polina-93 @supernaturaladdictsblog @fandomoverdose666 @deans-baby-momma @deanwanddamons @tazzi-baby @acertainhero @lilulo-12 @wonderfulworldofwinchester@wonderfulworldofwinchester @slamminmine @mimaria420

(Desperate attempt to get my faves to notice me) @thinkinghardhardlythinking @smol-and-grumpy @wonder-cole-reads @watermelonlipstick @that-one-gay-girl @waywardbaby

#spn fanfic #spn fanfic series #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfic series #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #sam winchester #dean x reader #sam x reader #supernatural #fluff #angst #slow burn #reader insert #reader imagines #oneshot #fairlyspnfanfic #the ties that bind us

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rosieroxy117 · 3 years

Text

All seven dorms x Fem!Reader | The beginning...

This is a series that will be divided into different parts because of how long it is, and because it will be based of what happens in Twisted Wonderland. (Events not included)

But I will not be making chapters about chapter 6 and 7 until they are released, so I know what happens for the overblots :>

I’ll be adding my OC’s, I will most probably make art of them and add the pictures of them in the story as it progresses.

I'll also be adding in my AU where there are a few female students in NRC that arrive the same year as Yuu and there is two dorm leaders of each dorm. One female, one male.

I originally posted this on Wattpad because of a request but it was more like an OC x All seven dorms. So I decided to upload the reader insert on tumblr.

But I will keep that part that stipulates that

(Y/n) is very tall- taller then Malleaus even-

I don’t think there is anything more to say so have fun reading!~

_______________________________

(Y/n) sighed dreamily as she stared at her screen filled with the twisted wonderland cast.

"Oh how I wish you's were real... Or how magic actually existed! That would be so cool!" (Y/n) giggled as her (h/c) hair shimmered in the light.

(Y/n)’s eyes suddenly became droopy as a sudden drowsiness overcome her.

'Why am I....... Feeling tired all of a sudden....' Were her last thoughts before falling unconscious.

Welcome (Y/n) (L/n)..

To the villains world....

(Y/n) opened her eyes slowly, hearing nothing but static, feeling pain in her head as well.

She slowly blinked noticing how the atmosphere had changed.

'Where am I?' (Y/n) thought as she looked around, she was in a hall, somewhere that looked oddly familiar.

To her side was a big brown door, the door was probably twice the size of herself.

'I wonder if I'll be able to find anyone in there- wait...' (Y/n) thought as she furrowed her brows.

'Is this some sort of isekai!?- COOL! IVEALWAYSWANTEDTOBEINONE!' She thought as she stood up from the ground with stars in her eyes.

'Wait- back on to the subject at hand... I don't actually know where I am...' She sweat dropped as she looked around.

She shrugged then decided to open the big ass door.

A few heads turned her way as she took in the appearance of the new room.

There was a fountain right in the back with people behind it. And there was a large mirror above the fountain.

There were also a bunch of chairs before the fountain, a vast majority of cloaked humanoid figures sat on them.

But what caught her attention the most was a male in a school uniform and a familiar raccoon cat like monster in the center of the room.

"(Y/n)?" The male asked dumbfoundedly as he let go of the cat.

"Yuu? What are you doing here?" (Y/n) asked but then finally processed the whole situation.

The mirror...

The cloaks...

The raccoon cat like monster....

This was Twisted Wonderland, and she had seemed to be in it along with one of her childhood friends Yuu.

Her eyes then glistened as she then ran towards Yuu.

"O MY GOSH THIS IS SO COOL!" She jumped up and down with a happy grin.

Her hoodie had fallen down because of her jumping revealing her (e/c) eyes and (h/c) hair.

"Wait.. Do you know where we are?" Yuu asked hopefully.

"Yeah! It's that game I was talking about long ago!" (Y/n) huffed as she stopped jumping up and down.

"Fngaaah, this girl is so tal- WAIT HOW IS THERE A GIRL HERE!?" Grims jaw dropped.

"MAGIK!" (Y/n) cheered with jazz hands while Yuu sweat dropped.

"Sorry to ruin this little reunion you's seem to be having... Can we get along with the ceremony?.." The headmaster asked as he eyed them suspiciously.

"Um... I don't even know what we are supposed to be doing..." Yuu said while rubbing the back of his head nervously.

"Youstandinfrontofthemirrorandthenit'llaskyouforyournameandyoutellityournameIt'sprettysimpleyaknow." (Y/n) said making Yuu confused.

"wha?- I want to go home, I have an important match tomorrow...” Yuu said.

"Huh.... You do.... Oh well!~" (Y/n) cheered.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN OH WELL!?" Yuu shouted back making (Y/n) giggle.

"We are in a world of magiiiiiic~~~~ So that means this place is so much cooler then our world!" (Y/n) whispered with stars in her eyes.

"Nope, I'm going home." Yuu said as he held his kendo stick(sword?) beginning to walk out.

Grim then used his flames to creat a scene so all eyes were on him, which was quite successful as Yuu stopped moving to turn around.

"Then I could take his place!" Grim cheered. The students began to whisper and laugh at Grim.

"What do you think your doing!?" Crowley shouted.

"Unlike that dumb human, I can actually use magic! So let me in the school instead!" Grim grinned.

"Dumb!?" Yuu growled angrily at Grim who waved him off.

"I can show more proof that I'm very capable at magic as well!" Grim said as he began to use more of his flames to ignite the room.

The students were all yelling from how their cloaks were burning or how the fire hurt.

"What the!" Yuu shouted as he watched Grim use his flames.

While (Y/n) was just watching in innocent delight.

From what (Y/n) knew, Riddle was supposed to come over and stop Grim. Just a few seconds after she thought of that Riddle stood up and began walking towards the cat.

(Y/n) just watched in awe as he made his way over to the cat, glared at Grim as he shot fire at Riddle.

Unexpectedly, Yuu ran over to Riddle and tackled him to the ground.

(Y/n) snorted before starting to laugh at Yuu, making him look back at (Y/n) with a dumbfounded look.

Yuu just shook his head then looked back at Riddle.

"Are you okay?" Yuu asked as Riddle just blinked a few times before turning angry.

"JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOUR TALKING TO!?" Riddle shouted before pushing Yuu off of him.

Riddle then stood up but just stared in slight surprise as the cat was now eating tuna.

(Y/n) giggled as she was crouched beside Grim while petting him.

Yuu got up and just stared at her with an angry look.

"You could've done that long ago!" Yuu shouted as (Y/n) just looked up at the with a blank face.

"But that would've been boring... Plus I knew you were going to tackle Riddle so I didn't do anything." (Y/n) giggled.

"WAIT SO YOU KNEW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!?" Riddle asked furiously as (Y/n) stood up and dusted her cloak off.

"Ye- oh my gosh your shorter then I imagined." (Y/n) said as she stared down at Riddle who just stared up at her with a red face. (From anger)

"Awe! So cute! Your always so angry but your still cute!" (Y/n)’s eyes glistened.

Riddle blushed (but it wasn't noticeable).

"I AM NOT CUT- WAIT! Who's that cat!? Because Laws of the Queen of Hearts : number-"

"Number 23 'One shall never bring a cat into festivals'." (Y/n) cut Riddle off with a mocking tone.

Everyone just stared at her with a dumbfounded expression.

"Your such a weirdo- how do you even know that?" Yuu asked.

"Who do you think I am! Even a idiot would know that rule-" (Y/n) gasped dramatically.

Riddle scoffed as they continued to bicker, he made his way towards Grim who was now sleeping and pulled his pen out.

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!-"

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" (Y/n) and Riddle said at the same time, a collar appeared around Grims neck as everyone stared at (Y/n) with a weird look.

"Don't even ask! I know everything and anything!- well not really but I do at the same time!" (Y/n) cheered as Yuu sweat dropped.

"Wha-" "Can you at least not say what I'm going to say every single minute?.." Riddle squinted his eyes at (Y/n).

Riddle then walked towards Yuu and pointed his pen at Yuu.

"And you! The audacity of the likes of you to insult me! That is the same as insulting the Queen of Hearts herself! I shall have your head if you ever were to insult me again!" Riddle glared at Yuu making him gulp.

"Understood?.." Riddle said, Yuu nodded frantically.

Riddle then walked back to his spot by the Dorm leaders while Yuu slowly made his way behind (Y/n).

"Why didn't you get in trouble?" Yuu sulked.

"Because I'm just cool that way." (Y/n) stated proudly.....

"Sir, you mentioned before that you had no magic. But does your fiend have magic?.." Crowley asked.

"Nope, at least I don't think I have em. Unless this is a isekai and i now have powers- that would be so cool!" (Y/n) gleamed as Crowley sweat dropped.

"Then I'm afraid the both of you will be sent back home. Come to the mirror and picture your homes." Crowley said as the two of them walked towards the mirror.

(Y/n) walked confidently since she already knew that they wouldn't be able to return.

They stopped in front of the mirror and pictured their home......

"O mirror of darkness... Guide these ones back to where they belong!" Crowley said.

"Hmmm... Nothing happened." (Y/n) said.

"Because it is nowhere to be found young one." The mirror replied.

"Huh?" Crowley asked dumbfoundedly.

"That can't be true! We were both picturing it!- why isn't it working (Y/n)!?" Yuu asked in disbelief.

"Erm, no one actually knows at the moment." Yuri said nonchalantly.

"And where exactly are you two from?..." Crowley asked inquisitively.

"From Japan!" The both of them said.

"Japan? Ive never heard of a place such as Japan... I am of course well aware that come from every corners of this world. You two aren't lying are you two?" Crowley asked.

"If no one knows about Japan then we'll go back by oursel-"

"It's helpless... We can't return." (Y/n) said, Yuu froze in place when he heard (Y/n) say that.

"What do you mean!?" Yuu asked with wide eyes.

"Well- it's not that we can't actually leave it's just that I don't know how to leave yet. Hell we could be stuck here forever because of that." (Y/n) said.

"Why you seem a little happy about that don't you.." Crowley said.

"It's because where we are from it's quite boring. Although I'm going to miss my figurines and games.." (Y/n) cried.

(Y/n) sighed then looked to the side to see that Yuu had left.

"Wait- where is Yuu?.." (Y/n) asked with a dumbfounded look, she then looked back at the big ass doors to see them slightly open.

(Y/n) began rushing towards where she had thought Yuu would've gone to. She didn't have to go too far as he had came back.

"Did you find your way home?." Crowley asked as he walked over.

"No..." Yuu said as he dropped his sword (His kendo stick, thing-)

"Have you tried contacting a friend?" Yuus eyes lit up at that and he hurriedly tried to call someone.

"I have no signal..." Yuu grumbled.

"Have we truly transported worlds?..." Yuu said as he looked down.

"Yea, duhhh. That's what I've been TRYING to tell you this whole time!" (Y/n) said.

"But your a bit too calm.." Crowley said inquisitively.

"It's because I know what's happening, I know what's going to happen as well." (Y/n) said.

"Are you telling the truth?.." Crowley asked.

"Yeah, just can't tell you what does happen because that would cause the butterfly effect." (Y/n) cheered.

Crowley nodded then put his hand up to his chin in thought.

"There is a vacant building that was once used for a dormitory! I could lend it to the two of you if you two want!" Crowley said.

"Oh how gracious I am!" Crowley laughed.

"It's the best place we have for the moment Yuu. Gonna have to say yes." (Y/n) said.

Yuu only nodded with a sigh.

"Honestly! How did the opening ceremony end up like that!" Riddle said as he walked with Cater and Trey on his sides.

"Now now, everything was settled in the right?" Trey answered.

"Well it could've been settled if that girl had done something sooner as well!" Riddle huffed making Trey chuckle.

"She was pretty cute yeah? She looked really nice too!" Cater cheered with a grin.

"We should hurry! All the first years are at the welcome party!" Cater said again.

"Thank you, but is everything ready? Is the venue prepared according the Queens of Hearts rules? Are the roses painted sequently in red and white?" Riddle asked.

"Natura-" Cater had been cut off by a student hopping towards their way, they wore a very large top hat while gold fluffy bunny ears sticked out of it.

They just eye the figure for a little while as they passed them seemingly going the same way as them.

"Okaaaay.... As I was saying! Everything is ready!" Cater said with a raised brow.

"Very well, let us head to the dorm. If any trouble occurs, you'll be losing your heads as well. Got it?" Riddle said.

"Yes prefect!" Cater and Trey said in unison.....

"What a charming.... building?..." Yuu said as he stared at the rundown building.

"It is isn't!" Crowley said, the three then entered the building.

"Could use a little lady's touch..." (Y/n) sweat dropped as she looked around at all the old paintings, spiderwebs, and broken furniture in the hall....

Don’t worry- there will be more parts sooner or later ;))))))

PEACE OUT!-

#twsited wonderland #x reader #self insert #ocs #romance

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