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ruby-whistler · 3 years

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Alright curious anon here. All this is /dsmp /rp from here on out unless otherwise specified and is refering to characters. If i make any mistakes or am misinformed please let me know! So by the cat was nothing compared to mushroom henry i was meaning more toward the fact that the cow was killed as a punishment for something not worth or ok for it to be killed for at all and the fact that it belonged to tommy, wheareas the cat was killed more to annoy dream and belonged to tommy. (1/?)

alright then another lengthy reply, here i come! /lh /dsmp /rp

Dream also did not seem to mourn the cat much, shrugging it off with a "just more motivation to break out".

it was killed to hurt dream, not to "annoy him". it doesn't matter who it belonged to, c!dream was attached to it and it died, which had an effect on him and also further proved his point about attachments being weakness and caring getting you hurt, and it's still very sad.

you say that it was not ok at all to kill mooshroom henry, but the cat's death wasn't ok either, so i really don't see your point.

again, i disagree it was "nothing compared to" either way. i never meant to compare them in the first place, i was simply talking about the cat and c!dream so i don't see why it is in any way necessary to drag c!tommy and other dead pets into this. /nm

also, it isn't true he didn't mourn it. he is a very reserved person who doesn't show his feelings much, that's true, but the cat death still changed the way he acted afterwards, as well as the attempts he made to prevent it. he didn't "shrug it off", he yelled about it because he was understandably upset.

You mentioned that propganda was used to make dream seem like a tyrant, could you specify a bjt? Cus im a little confused srry /gen. Because the most i can remember from the lmanburg era at least is him being called a b'tch or other similar insults. You also mentioned how trauma responses can be differet which is true! I agree! Do you have any ideas to what caused dream the trauma?

wilbur would continuously make him out to be some sort of oppressive, tyrannical force, in front of his troops - a prime example of this being the lyrics of the l'manberg anthem itself and the l'manberg declaration of independence.

actually! here's a nice thread about l'manberg's establishment complete with links, timestamps and evidence :]

i also said in my previous post what could've possibly caused it, but since the character intentionally hides his emotions from the public, it would be difficult to see how things really affected him - which is why the way his spiral went is the majority of the evidence that would imply it, however it does make sense within the story as well with what i mentioned last time.

I would like to note that for sapnap at least had reason to leave dream. Some examples off the top of my head are dream leading an angry fundy to sapnap's pets on purpose, resulting in some deaths, dream assisting tommy in burning down sapnap's effiel tower where he got engaged to karl, and dream giving tommy either mars or the other fish at the battle of the lake. Idk about george tho other then the whole mexican lmanburg/el rapids thing and decrowning him

c!sapnap was actually at fault for most of this, and it wasn't really ever betrayal on c!dream's part.

c!dream is a mediator and he wants to stop everyone's conflict - c!fundy was angry because of c!sapnap's actions, and hence it made more sense for c!dream to centre him on c!sapnap's animals instead of running around killing everyone's pets (at that time, all c!dream knew was c!sapnap did something really bad and c!fundy wanted beckerson / mars from him, which were also his and c!george's fish).

c!sapnap was an instigator, and in multiple conflicts during the time as well as before he'd align himself against c!dream. he isn't "loyal" per se, he causes chaos and the reason c!dream helped c!tommy was because, c!sapnap, again, killed his pet. the first l'manberg war and then the 16th are signs of the fact that c!dream and c!sapnap were willing to fight together in actual war, but these small conflicts where c!sapnap continuously picked fights weren't about personal loyalty, nor did they seem to affect their relationship at all.

c!george was never really hurt by c!dream either. the dethronement was him very obviously being a guilt-trippy drama queen, but, well, that's just the character. he had stolen the l'mantree while he was supposed to be the diplomatic figure of the greater smp, which is why c!dream was justified in - very politely, may i mention - taking the duties off of him (seeing as he was also trying to keep him safe and c!techno had already assassinated him once).

Im pretty sure i remember cc!sam stating that his character never canonically physically tortured dream during his subathon but take this with a grain of salt as i am looking for the clip currently. So to the best of my knowledge dream did not have a physical contact trigger during tommy's visit which! I rewatched the vod and dream actually was first to hit tommy and i can give you my full writing downs but 10/12 of the phy-

you never finished this point because you had to go do something, but i'll reply to what is here at the moment (i suggest writing these down before sending next time, or even writing them out wholly before sending a single one could help avoid stuff like this).

i am 95% sure that the reason cc!sam stated this was because people were suspicious he had already been doing what c!quackity was doing after - torture within the storyline itself is associated pretty much only with what c!quackity is doing, so that's what he meant, just to clear up confusion - the starvation or terrible conditions haven't been retconned, but it was direct torture (like c!quackity is doing) people were asking him about.

i never said c!dream had a physical contact trigger at all, i don't think he had that, though he probably will after the torture.

huh, ok, i'm gonna have to rewatch then, but i remember c!tommy punching c!dream a lot and him just telling him to stop and only punching back to get him to stop. trigger or not, getting hit isn't very pleasant, if you know what i mean.

You mentioned tommy stealing dream's armor unprovoked. Do you have the vod or a general idea of the time so i can find it? Like before lmanburg after another event so and so because if you do not have it i can find it but any help is appreciated.

i am pretty sure you can find the video on cc!tommy's channel! there are also recaps of the disc war on youtube :]

I wanna talk a little on why the Final Control Room was so messed up. For starters, with the way the room was designed. It was small, and had labeled, empty chests with each person's name on them as a mockery. The next reason is that its bascially a kill box.

It's fairly inescapble with the stairs being ones you have to jump up, slowing anyone who climbs them down. The final reason it is messed up is that it is shown to have caused every person who died in it trauma. With tommy there are several examples, the time he saw it with techno, the way he refuses to go near it, the exposure trauma, etc. Fundy also appears to have trauma, as when the Red Banquet executions began, it can be seen as him being afraid of dying last again.

It can Be thought as tubbo having trauma because he buries most of his issues and pretends to be ok. Moreover this event took at least one of each person's canon lives, making it the most canon lives lost EVER in a dream smp event. (This is not hate on any of the ccs btw i loved this scene and its one of my personal favorites). Plus the fact Eret's betrayal just literally happened, giving at least Tommy and Wilbur canonic trust issues.

i wouldn't call the chests mockery? it was a trap. people had traps on the smp before. it was a trap in the middle of war, supposed to end said war by killing them all at once rather than individually which would be a lot more bloody and difficult.

i agree c!tommy and other people might have post-war trauma, especially if they were young during the time, but i think that's because the final control room was "messed up", moreso because the war itself was. it all happened fairly instantly as well? i don't think c!fundy would be able to realize he was the last one standing within the two second before he wasn't.

it "can be thought" and it can be interpreted like that but besides c!tommy there isn't much evidence for them "all" being traumatized by the final control room. of course betrayal would spark trust issues, i understand that.

The probation was humiliating in my opinion because dream was Sending tommy anatgonizing messages through out the whole meeting, plus he had to write a review of his day every single day, which fundy mocked him for.

i mean, it was definitely a strike to his pride, but he was being extremely uncooperative so i don't really blame the other members of new l'manberg trying to teach him to listen for once? of course i know c!dream was riling him up, and that should definitely be considered. i don't think it would be as humiliating if c!tommy didn't make it, is what i'm saying.

for the tommy being toxic to fundy? At least for the examples you gave, to me personally they come acoross as either in a meta way being the cc's bantering or in canon being the characters having banter. If you can send the post with the clips so i can read the tone better that would be cool but if not i will try and find em.

no, these were all in canon. canon isn't only when c!tommy is being nice, it's also when he's being a jerk. /lh

the first one was him threatening c!fundy about kicking him out of l'manberg and undermining his self-worth, and the second one was him trying to get c!sapnap to vote for them via bullying c!fundy.

i found these from a transcript focusing on c!fundy's character, so i don't know exactly where the first one is from, but the second one i am pretty sure is from when the elections were starting with the whole cabinet battle deal and all of that.

there are other instances, and all of them are canon. his personality was never being nice or compassionate, so i'm not really surprised? he still cares about the people he cares about and is very brave, y'know. but this part of his personality is definitely a valid reason for people to dislike him.

I hope the exam went well :). Hope u have a great day! (Ps i think theres something called a submission box to send in pictures? Am not entirely sure sry)

it would've gone well but my work-speed is a tad too slow for the schooling system (considering i'm three years younger than my classmates,,, probably that's also a factor) so probably not despite the fact i knew everything and would've aced it if i only had more time. i did as well as i could so i'm not worried about it, but thanks!

i think you're thinking submissions. sadly, i tested it and it doesn't work on anons, so idk how you'd solve that, maybe make a burner account?

Curious anon here one point you may wanna include in the redemption essay is that c!tubbo or c!tommy do not necessarily have to forgive him. What's important is that he recognizes what he did was wrong (exile, beating tommy to death, manipulating them both, etc) and does his best to make amends. Hope this helps! Can't wait to see your essay

it's out, idk if you've seen it yet, and i think i included enough of that so hope it's all good! :)

the mcc update video is out if you are an mcc enjoyer. It's very neat, if you wanna check it out

yeah! i am a fellow mcc enjoyer, saw it already, thanks for telling me though, i'm really hype for today.

Allo curious anon here sorry if the lots of asks bother you. I was just curious if i could share an interesting post i saw today about c!dream :0 (not necessarily negative i think? More of a statement of an often-confused canon)

sure thing! i don't know what you mean by often-confused since, the entire fanbase is very confused always, and often selection bias plays into the perception from both sides, but sure :]

you also sent in a thing for the other anon who said they didn't know what c!dream did that bad; pretty sure they couldn't really be alerted since, not sure if they watch my blog that closely, but i'll summarize your points just in case and add some notes;

the repeated blowing up of l'manberg (in my mind that's largely a positive since i,, despise that country, but fair enough), revealed c!ranboo as a traitor (they seem to be friends so i also,, think that might've been planned between him and enderboo), sent ghostbur away (i don't think c!dream knew it was dangerous for him and wanted to actually hurt him, but idk), participated in fighting against c!sapnap when he killed people's pets (that's only negative against c!sapnap and didn't seem to hurt him much at all), and then the whole vault scene where he was allegedly planning to steal people's things (though saying he would & being stopped beforehand and doing it are two different things, frankly).

so i still agree with the other anon that a lot of the hurt he did "to the entire server" (he only negatively interacted with like,, a half of them) is exaggerated both by the characters and the fandom, but i guess that's a consequence of most people seeing him as a threat to everyone's happiness rather than a complex personality.

Also he was aware of the butcher army going to kill techno but only got involved because he saw an opportunity to get a favor. (As he knew in advance due to him telling techno to get a totem, watching from afar instead of interveing or manipulating tubbo out of it)

i don't understand this at all, i'm sorry. how do you know he only helped techno in order to get a favor? last i remember he was only doing it to protect and strengthen his alliance, and techno came up with the whole favor thing entirely on his own. you might've not watched techno's perspective or their prior interactions, idk, but this really is a misinterpretation in my eyes. /nm

sorry if that is overly dream negative i just wanted to let yall know cus you seemed unaware -curious anon

nah dw, i watch the smp and i watched all of these things happen so, wouldn't say unaware, but thanks.

#long post #my asks #curious anon #tw torture #tw animal death #c!dream negativity in asks #nothing aggressive though #so safe to read

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itsallyscorner · 4 years

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so, I was watching the video that came out today and I was thinking about a age gap seb x reader around his friends like Jessica or maybe chace? And they're just hanging out and they both have this lovesick look on their faces and when she leaves the room for some reason they don't waste any time addressing how in love she is with him, and sebs glad bc they were kinda wary of her at first?

Hiyaaa babes! This is my first request so woohoo🥳 Since you mentioned the video, I literally thought of the pictures that were released while they were filming 355, and now I can’t get the image of Seb in Paris because holy shit he looked good. So I’m gonna be using Jessica❤️

- This came out so long, I’m a sucker for background info and can’t get past writing a story without one💀 Enjoy!💜

💌.

Lovesick

You and Sebastian were unexpected. Literally the chances of you guys getting together were so off and you guys were at different times of your lives. He was in his late 30s, already living most of his life as a successful actor. While you were in your early 20s still in college working on your doctoral degree to become a Pharmacist (It was the only major I could think of atm because it’s the one I’m planing on lol.) You guys met at the cafe near your campus. You always went there every morning and would spot him drinking his morning coffee with his nose stuck in a new script he was reading. You two would sneak glances at each other, admiring each other from afar. Until one day when the cafe was fairly packed and you needed a place to sit. You spotted his familiar face and asked him if you could sit in the seat across from him. Obviously he agreed and you guys talked, getting to know each other the whole time. When it was time for you to leave for classes, you guys exchanged numbers and kept in touch.

Which brings us to today. You and Sebastian have been going strong for about a year now and were approaching your second year together. Though you two are as happy as can be and are still in the honeymoon phase (even after a year), the first few months of the relationship were quite rough. There was an obvious age gap between you two, it didn’t bother you two as much, but the public didn’t react too nicely about it. Your parents weren’t too fond of the idea of you dating an older man, but after getting to know him they knew his intentions with you were well. Same goes for your friends and family. When it came to his fans and the media finding about your relationship, that’s when it went to shit.

The media made Sebastian look like some creep who was going through a midlife crisis for dating someone much younger than him. A few “fans” even claimed that he were a “groomer” after pictures of you and him heavily making out on the street were released. These issues caused some bumps in the road for your relationship, though after many arguments, you two realized that the only opinions that mattered were each other’s.

Now you two were staying at a hotel in Paris. Sebastian was currently working on a big project, “The 355”, something he was very excited about. This was one of the first projects that he was really involved in, from script to screen, he played a pretty big role in this project.

You were typing up a report for your class when Sebastian entered the hotel room. He was still in his set clothes, a light blue shirt, dark jeans, and a pair of Chelsea boots. He approached the bed where you were typing and pressed a kiss to your temple.

“Hey sweetheart, how’s school going?” He greeted you as he settled himself on the bed, laying on his side.

“Meh, it’s going...but I finished my report on time. Now I just need to proofread it.” You smiled as you finished typing the last sentence of your report. When Sebastian discovered he was going to film in Paris, he immediately told you, knowing you’ve been dreaming of visiting Paris. Luckily for the both of you, your school allowed you to do online learning (it probably doesn’t work like that but just go with it) and you were able to tag along with him.

“I’m sure it’s prefect, you’re a great writer.” He complimented, you hummed in response. Turning to him you run your hand through his short hair making him lean into your touch. You loved his fluffy hair but the short hair was starting to grow on you.

Sebastian turned his head and pressed a kiss into your palm, stormy eyes gazing up at you.

“How has your day been?” You asked.

“It was good. We got through a good amount of scenes without messing up, so I’d say it was a successful day.” He answered. You smiled at his enthusiasm. Sebastian’s face always lit up when he was talking about a project and it was one of the things you admired most about him, his passion for his work.

“So, you’ve been cooped up in this damn hotel all day. Why don’t you come to dinner with me and the cast tonight? You’ve been waiting to visit Paris all your life and you haven’t even been outside this hotel for days.” He suggested. It was true, you haven’t done much but do school work, order room service, and binge watch shows on Netflix.

“Are you sure they’d want me to come? I might be intruding.” Honestly you were nervous to meet the rest of the cast. You’ve met Jessica a few times but they were brief and she seemed like she didn’t like you. Though that could just be your thoughts making you paranoid, you were still nervous to meet the people Seb worked with. You didn’t want them to think you were using him for money or to travel around the world because you weren’t. You loved Sebastian for himself, not the money and the fame, you could care less about all that.

But they were still Sebastian’s friends and you wanted to have a good first impression on them. You didn’t want them to think you were just some immature college girl who needed money to pay off her college funds.

Noticing you were drifting off, Sebastian pressed another kiss into your palm and grasps it. “You wouldn’t be intruding, Jessica actually suggested you come along.” He mentioned.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, baby. Come on, let’s put this stuff away and get ready. We’re having dinner at the Eiffel Tower.”

“I— the Eiffel Tower?”

•

To say you were intimidated and scared shitless was an understatement. Here you were in the Eiffel Tower having dinner with some of the most talented women in Hollywood. Like seriously Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong’o, Penélope Cruz, and Diane Kruger. Of course Seb and Édgar Ramírez where there as well. Then there was you, NYC local college student. You didn’t wanna say you felt out of place, but you did. These were successful people who probably starred in some of the movies you watched growing up. Now you’re literally in the Eiffel fucking Tower having dinner with them.

Dinner was going smoothly, everyone was talking about the set, shared some funny stories, and you were keeping to yourself simply eating your steak. That was until the attention was brought to you.

“So (y/n), Sebastian mentioned you were in college, what are you studying?” Jessica asked. Everyone turned to you and you swear you felt like a deer in headlights. Seb nudged your thigh with his, a reassuring smile on his face.

“Yes I am! I’m actually taking a PharmD program at St. John Fisher to become a Pharmacist.” you answered.

“For your masters?” She followed up curiously, slightly leaning forward to you.

“No, for my doctoral degree.” You corrected her proudly. You didn’t want to come off as an ass, but you were proud of your work and you worked your ass off for it.

Everyone at the table was taken back by your response. Except Sebastian, who had a just as proud smile on his face. They knew you were in college but not studying something as serious as Pharmacy.

“St.John Fisher College? I had a cousin that went there, it’s a great college.” Lupita was the first to break the silence.

“So are you working in the field yet? For some experience?” Penélope chimed in. Sebastian snorted, “Oh she has experience, trust me.”

You chuckled as you softly smacked Seb’s bicep, “Well currently, I’m interning as a Pharmacy Tech at a hospital pharmacy. They’re thinking about making me a permanent one until I graduate so fingers crossed!”

As you answered all their questions about your personal life and your major, Sebastian couldn’t help but just admire you. Just like how you admired the way he talked about his projects, he admired the way you got lost in rambling about your soon career. The way your eyes lit up, how your hands moved while you talked, and that hint of a smile on your face. He absolutely adored every single thing about you.

Dinner continued, the last question for you about why you chose to do college in New York, which segwayed into a conversation about— well New York. As the others talked about their love for the city, Sebastian wrapped his arm around your shoulders. Your back was now pressed to his chest, both of you not listening to the conversation. You pressed a kiss to his arm and looked back at him.

“Hey you.” You hummed at him rubbing your thumb along his arm.

“Hi.” He gazed down at you with that smile that made his eyes crinkle. The moment was interrupted by your phone ringing. Quickly glancing at the contact ID, it was the hospital pharmacy you interned for.

“You should take that.” Seb whispered into your ear.

“No, Seb that’s rude. We’re at dinner, I’m sure it can wait.”

“I have a good feeling about this call, draga mea.” He coaxed you. Having a feeling that he might be right you excuse yourself from the table. When you’re gone the table goes quiet.

“Sebastian, you’ve got one hell of a girlfriend.” Penélope stated as the rest of the table agreed.

“She’s so smart! What the hell, a doctoral degree? Kudos to her because the amount of motivation I would need to even try!” Jessica followed up with an amazed look on her face.

“I think you guys are forgetting to mention how whipped they both are for each other! Those two were in their own world over there!” Lupita pointed out. The whole table laughed as Sebastian was turning red. Of course he was whipped, he knew he was.

“I love her guys, she’s, she’s something else. The spunk she has, her intelligence, she’s-,” Sebastian began to list but was cut off by Édgar, “Out of your league?”

The whole table burst into laughter as they agreed with Édgar. You were also coming back to the table after your call. Sebastian spotted you, eyes connecting to yours immediately.

“Everything alright?”

“They gave me the permanent job!”

draga mea - my darling

#ally’s requests #Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan headcanons #sebastian stan drabble #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan oneshot #marvel #mcu #avengers #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes x reader

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with-my-murder-flute · 4 years

Text

Initial sketch notes of my historical research on Islamic experiences of the Siege of Jerusalem during the First Crusade, posted August 6, 2020. This is the long version of “Why might Yusuf al-Kaysani, who is from the Maghreb, have been fighting at Jerusalem in 1099?”

Trigger Warning: Graphic violence, slavery, and genocide

Notes taken from reading Paul M. Cobb’s The Race for Paradise: An Isamic History of the Crusades and supplemented by Dr. Google. I’m reading Cobb’s book partly because it’s on audiobook (though it is a fricking Audible Exclusive) and partly because it’s written for Western non-Muslim audiences, which helps get me up to speed.

The Old Guard Through History video says Joe and Nicky met during the Siege of Jerusalem in 1099, so I’ve focused most of my research on that.

Historians generally agree that in the 11th century the Islamic* world did not have a “Muslims vs Christians” worldview like the one Christians were beginning to develop. Their experience led them to expect Christians to be allies as often as enemies. Around the 1060s Christians began a new paradigm of religious war against Muslims, which Muslims didn’t really realize at the time--they responded to times when Christians would choose religious affiliation over clear strategic gain as shocking and bizarre, a departure from the status quo

(*Islamic: Society predominantly defined by Muslim rule and culture, but containing people of many different religions)

The Islamic response to the First Crusade was decentralized and diverse. There were a lot of different groups in the Levant*, many of whom had deep divisions, rivalries, and feuds. They mostly saw the Crusaders as a new factor that might affect their existing rivalries with other Islamic states, and were used to being able to broker deals or treaties with Christian groups to turn local warfare to their advantage.

(*Levant: A term used to describe countries in the Eastern Mediterranean, especially those with traditional religious significance to the Abrahamic religions - modern-day Israel, Palestine, Jordan, Syria, Lebanon, and parts of Egypt and Turkey. Comes from the French word for “rising”, in the sense of “where the sun rises”)

Additional term I’m going to be using a lot: “Frank”. It’s the Islamic term for, basically, “Western European” (of both the pagan and Roman Catholic varieties). It’s easier than saying “the Roman Catholics” or “The Crusaders” (which is putting a later cultural construct on people who didn’t call themselves that)

The biggest division of Islamic society in this area is, roughly, the Seljuq Turks and the Fatimid Caliphate.

In the year 1000, the Fatimids were riding high: They ruled Egypt and North Africa stretching across to the Atlantic, much of the Levant, the island of Sicily, and bits of the Arabian Peninsula around the Red Sea.

Then in the mid-11th century the Seljuqs came BLASTING OUTTA NOWHERE like holy shit calm your jets and conquered a lot of Fatimid and Byzantine territory (we’re talking the yellow parts of the map, they’ll destroy the Byzantines entirely later)

In addition to losing land to the Seljuqs, the Fatimids also lost Sicily to the Normans (who don’t even GO THERE but anyway), and North Africa through?? Independence movements?? Sheer carelessness??? I’m not quite certain.

The Seljuqs were Sunni, the Fatimids were Shi’ite, I... am not gonna try to explain that whole thing. Here’s a video.

(Small note for Yusuf character reasons: A big motivation behind the move of Ifriqiya [modern Tunisia and parts of Algieria and Libya] out of Fatimid control was that most of their populations were also Sunni)

So the Franks left Constantinople and travelled through what is now Turkey but was at the time the Byzantine Empire, and then moved into Seljuq lands. Most of the fighting in the First Crusade was against Seljuqs--mostly against tribes who fought for themselves, I think? Although in Damascus (which was a huge city the Franks just breezed by in favour of historically significant ghost towns) there was a general jihad preached like “Hey somebody should do something about all these Europeans”, so some of the people fighting were like... random people from Damascus.

While the Seljuqs were distracted, the Fatimids thought they could win some land back from THOSE UPSTARTS, so they snuck in and grabbed Jerusalem. As Peter Konieczny reports, there are scholars who think the Fatimids thought, partly because they had a lot of experience ruling Egypt’s Coptic Christian population, that they could reach a mutually satisfactory alliance with the Franks, especially since it seemed like most of the Franks didn’t intend to settle in the area, but return to Europe once they ensured pilgrim access to Jerusalem, which had mostly been hindered by banditry in Seljuq-controlled areas.

When I read stuff just generally about the Fatimid army, it’s described as being composed of two groups:

Berber tribesmen (Kutama and Sanhaja) (I’m struggling to find more info about them)

Mamluks, who are... a cross between slaves and mercenaries? Basically, they were captives from non-Muslim territory (in the Fatimids’ case, mostly Circassia in central Asia) who were brought to Muslim lands and trained as soldiers, but once active as soldiers, were paid and hired by different groups, able to achieve freedom, often gained important government posts, and occasionally toppled the government they served and ruled the roost.

This next bit is based on fairly standard histories of the Siege of Jerusalem that rely a lot on Western sources, like this article by Michael D. Hull and this article by Michael Cartwright. Which... have to be taken with a grain of salt, because medieval military histories don’t tend to line up super well with archaeology or plain logistics. Generally, it isn’t wise to take medieval European sources at their word when they say “the army had 10,000 people” or “they killed every last person”. They’re often written after the fact and with clear biases, and, when it comes to the Crusades, with an imperfect understanding of the culture they’re describing. I’d like to have better sources, but this is where I’m starting from, especially since I have limited access to academic sources during the summer.

So, the standard history says that Jerusalem was taken in 1098 by Emir al-Afdal Shahinshah, but by 1099, governor Iftikhar al-Daula was in command of the defenses. and that he had a “garrison of Arab cavalry and Sudanese archers.” Cartwright reports it as “perhaps several thousand infantry and an elite cavalry corps of 400 Egyptians.” I currently have no way of knowing which of these troops were Mamluks and which weren’t.

According to Hull, when the Fatimids in Jerusalem realized they would have to face a siege, they expelled all Christians of any denomination from the city, as well as all Jews “except for those of a sect for whom it was mandatory to reside in the Holy City”. Cartwright reports it as “...all Christians were kicked out if the city. In contrast, the Jewish population were allowed to stay”. Cartwright reports that Jerusalem’s population, 70,000 at the beginning of the year, was lowered to 30,000 by the expulsions (though some people were also coming into the city to take refuge from the oncoming Frankish army). Additional preparations included poisoning wells outside of Jerusalem to deny the Frankish army water, and emptying the land around the city of livestock and people.

The Fatimids were also expecting the arrival of an army marching north from Egypt to help them out relatively soon, which explains why their strategy was mostly “hunker down and wait” with very limited attacks outside the city.

The Franks came southward down the coast to Jaffa, where they took the nearest port to Jerusalem, and then approached the city.

June 7, 1099: The Frankish army shows up at Jerusalem with about 15,000 people total and less than 1,500 armed knights. They split into two camps, one attacking from the south, one from the north. They were in rough shape and didn’t have any siege weapons, so the Fatimid defenders were able to sit up on the walls, taunt them, and shoot arrows. They enlivened the tedium by sending cavalry units outside the walls to harass Franks who were scavenging for food and water.

June 13, 1099: Some Franks on the north side of the city managed to scrabble together siege ladders and try to climb up and assault the walls; they were repelled pretty easily by the defenders.

June 17, 1099: English and Genoese ships land at Jaffa, carrying siege equipment and fresh supplies. Hull reports that the Fatimids dispatched troops, 400 Arabs and 200 Turks, to attack the supply chain between Jaffa and Jerusalem; Hull reports that the Franks only lost 5 of the force of maybe 150-200 knights, and “all of the archers” (about 50?)

It takes about three weeks to transport the supplies to Jerusalem and for the siege towers to be built; the Genoese played an especially large role in building the siege equipment, and their chief engineer is named as William Embriaco.

On July 10 the siege engines were finished and wheeled to the walls. That night everyone inside the city and out sat over campfires, showing each other pictures of their families and trying to humanize themselves for the audience to make their impending deaths more impactful

(I kid)

(mostly)

June 13-15: Almost continuous fighting between the Franks, who are trying to move their siege engines close enough to make it onto the walls of Jerusalem, and the Fatimid defenders, who were trying to fight them off and burn their towers down.

June 15: The Franks breach the walls and begin pouring inside, killing and looting its inhabitants. There is well-documented destruction of Muslim and Jewish holy places, where Muslims and Jews fled for refuge and were killed. This part is. Sickening. Tens of thousands of people dead; the streets running with blood.

The Fatimid governor and various others (possibly the remainders of the army? Possibly important citizens? Some Jews appear to be in this group?) took refuge in the Tower of David, and were able to negotiate to leave Jerusalem safely. The Fatimid soldiers who left the city that way joined the advancing Fatimid army at Ascalon, southwest of Jerusalem.

It’s unclear who the survivors were--the sources mention people left aside being made into slaves, being allowed to leave the city, or being ransomed by rich relatives outside the city. The fact that we have Jewish and Muslim accounts of what happened during this time means there were survivors

But let’s face it: The survivors were the minority. The majority of people, thousands of them, were slaughtered by the Franks as they took over the city.

Epilogue: The Fatimids tried to take Jerusalem back a month later, and failed. Jerusalem was in Crusader hands.

It’s taken me three days to write this up and I’m ending it feeling really blah and drained by the enormity of this shit. I...

The Race for Paradise has this bit that talks about two Western ways of talking about the Crusades:

The Traditional paradigm, where this was a great moment for Christianity, whew we kicked those guys’ BUTTS!

The Lachrymose (Latin for “full of tears”) paradigm, coming to popularity since the Enlightenment, where this was horrific mass slaughter caused by religious zealotry and it was bad and everything was bad

But the thing is, we can’t actually stop there. Or, that is: It’s not actually useful for our only narratives about the Crusades to be either “Christians kill everyone and it’s awesome” or “Christians kill everyone and it’s terrible”. It’s not true; it feeds into the overall false narrative of “European Christians only interacted with [Muslims/Middle Easterners/People of Colour] very rarely, and only when there was an atrocity happening.” It means we fail to acknowledge all the cross-cultural contacts that happened without an atrocity, and fail to realize that a lot of these atrocities came out of the context of incredibly warlike countries whose economies depended on warfare and conquest.

Another element is... during the 11th century, when all of this happened, the Normans also invaded England. Their conquest was absolutely brutal. England was ethnically and linguistically divided for centuries between a French-speaking colonial upper class, and the English-speaking peasantry. But over the centuries, these two groups came to live together peacefully and build a distinctly new society. Most peoples’ narratives of medieval England are not “a land of massacre, genocide, and ethnic strife”, even though those things definitely happened. We just have much stronger associations with medieval English art, literature, culture, fashion, and architecture than its slaughters.

So basically: The challenge for us in the 21st century is to develop a richer understanding of the past. We know a hell of a lot about battles and armies; we know way less about merchants and farmers, and about the long decades between battles and armies. Military history tells us about waging war, but if we can look past that, we can find out about waging peace.

Now I’m going to go collapse into my bed, and in a day or five I’ll write up a TL;DR version about what I think the likeliest backstories for Joe are (Briefly: probably a Fatimid cavalry soldier or an ordinary person who thought it was safe to be in Jerusalem at the time, and had to defend himself and his servants etc when the city fell)

#medievalism #my stuff #the old guard #nicky/joe #yusuf al-kaysani

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thesims4blogger · 3 years

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The Sims 4 Paranormal Stuff: Developer Blog (Part 1)

SimGuruConnor has released part 1 of the Sims 4 Paranormal Developer Blog series.

Hello Simmers! Welcome to a small 2-part Dev Blog about our newest Stuff Pack, Paranormal Stuff! This pack has been an absolute blast to work on, and I’m excited to share what this pack is all about!

I’ll try not to reveal too many spoilers for the pack either, so I’ll keep things somewhat brief. Our topics for today are the new Scared Mood and the Haunted House Lot Type, plus an interview with our Audio Artist too!

Get Scared

Sims can now relish in the mortal dread of the Scared Mood! The Scared Mood affects Sims in a variety of ways, with my personal favorite, the new Scream Incoherently interaction, where a Scared Sim runs up to another Sim to scream their lungs out. This can result in the other Sim calming down the Scared Sim, or resulting in both Sims becoming Scared. This can create a Scared Mood wildfire if you’re not careful!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, it's okay!

Sims afflicted with the Scared Mood also have trouble communicating with others, the urge to panic-run everywhere, and are slightly more prone to accidents. If no other Sims are around to help calm down a Scared Sim, they might just have to Hide Under The Covers for a while.

But if being Scared just isn’t your Sims style, consider purchasing the new Brave Trait. This Satisfaction Reward Store Trait will rapidly reduce the incoming fear a Sim feels and help Sims regain their composure faster. While no Sim is totally fearless, this trait should help mitigate some of those creepy feelings.

The Scared Mood and the Brave Reward Trait are all base game features coming with the Paranormal Stuff patch on January 21st. Tons of previous Uncomfortable Buffs are now becoming Scared Buffs, such as the “Startled By Ghost” Buff or the “Thalassophobia” Buff from Island Living.

While being Scared might not be a common occurrence in your everyday Sims life, living in a Haunted House is a whole different story…

Happy Haunts

Introducing the Haunted House Lot Type!

The Duplantier Dwelling, created by Doctor Ashley! This “canon” Haunted House will be available in the gallery!

They’re like regular houses, only haunted! Although unassuming during the day, at night, these places get super weird. Your Sims may notice things like flickering lights, pipes rattling, or even creepy dolls staring at them in the corner. All are totally normal occurrences in a Haunted House, but it may take some time for your Sims to adjust to their new surroundings.

Sims living in a Haunted House will also be introduced to floating apparitions known as Specters. They’re cute little critters, but their motives aren’t entirely clear. You can try talking to them, or even offer them presents in hopes of establishing a good rapport. If they like you, they’ll drop special loot for you and your family. If they don’t like you, well, you’ve been warned.

o o o (> ‘ u ‘ )>

Learning to get along with your new ghostly inhabitants is crucial in a Haunted House. Things like botching seances, neglecting Specters, or letting accursed objects invade your house will have a negative impact on its spiritual serenity. There is a delicate art to co-existing with the entities of the house, and thankfully you’ll have an expert on the matter to assist you!

Meet Guidry

Claude René Duplantier Guidry was a seasoned Paranormal Investigator in his previous life, but now he exists to help anyone brave enough to live in a Haunted House! You’ll probably run into him eventually living in a Haunted House, but don’t worry, he’s a nice ghost!

Guidry will gladly offer his wisdom to those who seek it. If you’re confused, alarmed, or slightly uncomfortable by your new haunted surroundings, give Guidry a holler and he might be able to help. He can also offer valuable objects to help your Sims, too; all you need is to reach out!

Still got it.

All Guidry wants in return is to crash at your place for the time being. Sounds like a fair deal, right? But if you’d prefer to fly it solo, you can always disable his nightly visits—he won’t be too upset, maybe.

As mentioned before, Guidry was a Paranormal Investigator before his untimely demise. If he sees potential in you, he can certify you with a Paranormal Investigation License, granting access to the Paranormal Investigation Freelancer Gigs. Only those who are qualified enough can join the ranks of Paranormal Investigators, but more on that next time!

Be Brave!

Living in a Haunted House adds a layer of risk and reward for your Sims, and each successful night yields Reward Store Satisfaction Points for everyone in the Household. Specters can also drop treasure that can also be collected, consumed, or sold to an Oddity Collector. So although your Sims might go through a bit of peril, they’ll thankfully be compensated.

One of my favorite pieces of haunted treasure is the new Sacred Candle. Not only do they look cool, but they also help protect Sims from paranormal influences. Place them around your house to make sure Sims are properly shielded!

A properly protected Sim.

Things like Sacred Candles and performing ceremonies at the Séance Table are integral to keeping your Sims happy in a Haunted House. Without using these paranormal tools, the entities of the house might get a little bossy.

And while it might be in your Sims’ best interest to keep the spirits of the house in check, watching things go horribly wrong in a Haunted House can be just as fun too. So whatever works for you!

Like Tiny Homes, this Lot Type can be toggled on or off at any time. So whether you’re a casual thrillseeker who wants to spend a couple of nights in a Haunted House, or a seasoned Paranormal Expert who wants to take on a new challenge, this Lot Type should offer something for you!

Crosspack Stuff!

Pets get to share the fun too! They especially love the accursed objects that show up!

I think they’re gonna get along great.

As mentioned before, a ton of old Buffs from multiple packs are now being converted to the Scared Mood. I think 70 something Moodlets were converted? Honestly, I lost count. Anything that seemed more appropriate for the Scared Mood was transferred over.

Oh, and you might remember an old Lot Trait from City Living called Haunted. For clarity’s sake, it needed a name change, so now it’s the Spooky Lot Trait. It also benefits from being combined with the new Haunted House Lot Type and will have an increased chance of spawning Ghosts at night. So use both for maximum haunted-ness!

Audibly Frightened

Last but not least, I’d love to turn it over to our Audio Artist for this pack, Briana Billups! She did a killer job bringing Haunted Houses to life! Trust me!

Conor: Can you tell us what an Audio Artist does on The Sims 4?

Briana: Big, broad picture: an audio artist decides what everything in The Sims 4 sounds like. We record, create, and edit sounds to the art and animation of the game. Little, very detailed picture: creating the actual sounds is usually one of the smaller aspects of our job. We are meeting with other departments, like design, animation, and VFX, to understand the overall vision of new game features and how we can fit in sonically. We are meeting with each other to make sure all our new content still keeps the very fun and quirky vibe of the Sims. We come up with new tools and implementation where necessary.

Conor: What sort of things go into the creative process for creating audio?

Briana: Every audio artist/sound designer has their own creative process, but I like to make a “sonic mood board” of sorts. I typically like to have a good idea of what I want something to sound like in my head before I record or edit it, so it’s nice to have sound effects or music to refer to that represents my original inspiration or ideas. When I was in college, I would make Spotify playlists for whatever I was working on. I would listen to them once a day, adding and editing as necessary, so when I actually got to work, I was in the right headspace. Now I’m usually less formal about this sort of stuff, but for this pack, I would refer back to things like Vincent Price’s demonic laugh from Thriller or Casper the Friendly Ghost Cartoons and the looping soundtrack from the queue of a horror ride at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk (Ghost Blasters)

Conor: What were you most excited to work on for this pack?

Briana: Definitely all the haunted house sounds! Good sound design is the crux of so many horror movies and video games, so even if we were keeping things more “Casper” and less “Poltergeist,” I still wanted to give a good scare here and there. I actually scared myself one day while playtesting another feature in the game!

Conor: If you had to choose, what is your favorite audio clip you’ve ever added to The Sims 4?

Briana: I would say my favorite SFX were the sports arena loops in EP08: Discover University. When you visit the arena for the soccer/esports match or graduation, you can actually listen to the whole game or ceremony. It was great to craft a whole story from start to finish using just sound. I also snuck in a lot of developer names when writing the scripts for our voice actors.

Thanks, Briana!

More To Come!

That about covers this first foray into the Paranormal Stuff Pack! This pack has been a ton of fun to work on, and watching my Sims flee in terror has been more enjoyable than I’d like to admit.

Next blog, we’ll focus on the Séance Table and developing your Medium skill, as well as the new active freelance career Paranormal Investigator.

Big thanks to the Stuff Pack team for helping this pack come to life, and thank you, Doctor Ashley, for building our featured Haunted House!

Until next time, SimGuruConor

#news #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 paranormal #stuff pack

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thesleepysphinx · 3 years

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Tokoyami x (fem)Reader - Agoraphobic pt. 1: I love when it rains

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But I love when it rains 'cause I'm agoraphobic

- Corpse Husband

Tokoyami turned the page of his book, letting himself sink further into the couch of the dorm commons. He had been one of the first to rise this Sunday morning and relished in the comfort of making his tea in a silent kitchen. He sipped his tea every other page, content in a slow pace. Every once in a while, he glanced towards the elevator to see if any others were approaching, and when he found no one, he would look to the windows to see if it was time to greet the sunlight. Just as the promise of sunlight was approaching, a drop of rain fell. Then another. Until rain overtook the sun for the day.

Tokoyami smiled fondly at the rain, finding comfort in it and in the fact that it meant it was unlikely he would be asked to leave the dorms that day. He was indeed content to stay alone, at home, with his book and his tea. But the alone part did not last for long, as he heard the doors to the elevator open. Out you walked, still in your pajamas, stretching your arms up over your head as you yawned. Tokoyami watched for a moment, waiting for someone else to follow behind you, but no one ever did. So now, he was alone with one other person. He looked away back to his book, tracing his finger along it to find where he left off.

You noticed Tokoyami once you finished your stretch and yawn. You knew Tokoyami well enough to know he prefers a more silent than chatty company. So, as you passed by the couch he was sitting on, you offered a simple, “Good morning, Tokoyami.” You continued your walk towards the kitchen, not sticking around to pressure him for a response.

“Good morning, (y/n).” He turned the page of his book. He paused to see if you wanted to say anything else, but found you had nothing to say. Tokoyami was appreciative of your silence, but he was never opposed to conversation with you, a luxury he did not have with very many people. After a few seconds of silence, he spoke again. “There should still be some hot water in case you wanted tea.” He didn’t look away from his book as he spoke, almost anxious to look at you. Something deep within him just wanted him to hide.

“Oh, thanks!” you said with a voice too chipper for the early morning. You started to hum as you prepared your preferred tea, a tone much more fitting for the time of day. Tokoyami couldn’t pin-point the exact song, but it had a somber tone, one that he might find himself entranced by. He kept his eyes on his book, but found that every time he read a page, he’d have to reread it again. He was constantly getting lost in the beat of your hum.

Eventually, the hum stopped, and he continued his reading. But in his peripherals, there you were, standing at the window he had been looking out of all morning. You held your tea in both hands as you looked up at the cloudy sky, sipping it here and there. Tokoyami soon noticed that his eyes had moved from his book to you. Why did he find himself looking at you when he was so anxious to just a moment ago?

The moment Tokoyami moved his eyes back to his book, you started to mumble out a song. He couldn’t make out any of the lyrics but recognized that the beat was much faster than the one you were humming earlier. Tokoyami felt like it should have been a total mood shift, but for some reason the mumbling still felt somber. His curiosity was piquing, but his anxiety was fighting to hold him back. But as you kept singing, the mumbles turned into actual words, and Tokoyami made out the words “I love when it rains ‘cause I’m agoraphobic.”

Tokoyami raised his head to face towards you, finally giving in to his curiosity as you began to hum the beat you were before. “What song is that?”

His question made you jump, almost dropping your cup of tea. You caught it, though just barely, and turned to face him. “It’s called 'Agoraphobic', by Corpse Husband. The rain just reminded me of it.” You looked back through the window with a smile, appreciating the rain just as much as Tokoyami did. As you moved your head back towards Tokoyami’s direction, you pulled your phone out of your pajama pocket, navigating over to YouTube. “Here, let me show you!” Again, your voice was very chipper, and Tokoyami’s feathers ruffled a bit as you made your way to sit next to him and show him the music video.

Tokoyami tried to calmly move his bookmark into his book, closing it so he could give his whole attention to the music video. You seemed so excited about it that he would feel bad if he didn’t. As you started the music video, the beat you hummed before played in instrumentals. You hummed along to the video, and Tokoyami had to push down the urge to divert his attention to you rather than the music video. Without everyone else around, he felt somehow drawn to you, and he just couldn’t explain it.

As Tokoyami continued to listen, a deep voice began to sing very quickly, at the rate you had been mumbling before. He could hardly register the lyrics as they came, but he was able to read them as they popped up on the video. He spared a couple of glances in your direction, finding your lips mouthing the lyrics, but you never sang them out loud.

As the song came to a close, repeating the lyric “I’m not okay,” Tokoyami felt a sense of catharsis. He found himself relating heavily to the song, though he had one question.

“If I may, what does ‘agoraphobic’ mean?”

You stopped your mouthing of the lyrics to answer. “It’s a fear of crowds or leaving the house.” Your eyes went soft as you continued. “The artist has to deal with it a lot, that’s why the song has so much feeling to it.” You sipped your tea once again. “It’s just been stuck in my head lately. Sorry if I bothered you.” Your face turned somber as you pocketed your phone and leaned back on the couch, drinking your tea with both hands.

Tokoyami’s feathers ruffled once again at the sudden change in your mood. Why does she look so… sad all of a sudden?

“Not a bother at all.” He sipped his own tea. “In fact, I enjoyed the song. The book was not holding my attention.”

You let out a hum that sounded more like a sigh. You considered for a moment if you should continue the conversation. Does he want to keep talking? I don’t want to make him uncomfortable or anything… But is it rude if I don’t respond? After one more sip of your tea, you came to a decision. “What’s the book?”

It wasn’t until after you asked that Tokoyami realized he had wanted you to. He passed the book to you as he explained, “Pride and Prejudice. It’s an older classic. I’ve been told it’s one of the best novels ever written. Though, I cannot speak to the validity of that claim.” He stuffed his hands in his sweater pockets as you propped the book up against bent legs and analyzed the cover and some pages. You found that he was somewhere around half-way through according to his bookmark.

“I’ve read it, actually. Elizabeth Bennett is a whole mood.” You giggled as you remembered the character. “But it’s hard to get through classic literature.”

Tokoyami nodded in his agreement. “The diction is most definitely a struggle. But I’ve always appreciated the challenge of classic literature.”

The two of you continued your discussion of literature, anxieties fading as time went on. You found yourself enthralled in Tokoyami’s company, and he in yours. Your half drank tea had ended up on the coffee table next to his, both of them going cold. You had kept the book on your lap, forgetting its existence. The tapping of the rain drops outside complemented the conversation, shutting the two of you out from everything else. That was, until the elevator doors opened again, this time to much louder company. Nearly half of the class poured out of the elevator, chatting loudly with each other as they made their way towards the commons. Among them was your best friend, Toru.

It was a wonder that you were able to be such a calm person with a best friend like Toru, the biggest ball of energy. Unlike you, Toru was already dressed for the day in a yellow sweater that fell off her invisible shoulder and a pair of leggings. She jogged her way over to you excitedly chattering too fast for you to know exactly what she was saying.

Tokoyami started to feel like he was intruding. He rose from his seat, grabbing his cup of tea. “Excuse me.” Without waiting for an answer, he moved to the kitchen to wash his cup.

You watched him as he left, sad to have lost him so quickly.

“Hey, (y/n)!” Toru called to you, “When did you become friends with Tokoyami?”

You watched him walk around the crowd of students back towards the elevator. “Today, I guess.”

Toru took his place sitting next to you on the couch. “He’s so quiet and mysterious! What did you even talk about?”

You kept your eyes glued to the elevator, hoping that maybe he’d come back down soon. “Music and literature.” Usually, you’d say more, but your mind was completely occupied.

“That’s, like, completely unspecific.”

You finally gathered the control to look towards Toru’s invisible face. “I showed him the song 'Agoraphobic' and he showed me he was reading Pride and-.” You suddenly looked down to your lap, remembering the book that had made its way there early in the conversation. “Damn, he left so fast that I didn’t even get the chance to give him back his book.” You grabbed the book and rose from your seat. “I’m gonna go give it back, I’ll be back down in a bit. Movie marathon later?”

Toru’s shirt sleeves raised in the air to show her arms were raised in excitement. “You bet! Ojiro said he’d watch too!”

“Kay, I’ll be down in a bit!” You waved back to your friend as you made your way up the stairs, deciding not to wait for the elevator. Besides, this would get your blood pumping. But as you reached the second floor much faster than expected, you felt an anxiety rise within you. What if he just wants to be left alone?

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Hi, yes, I am writing a whole new fic when I haven't updated my last one in eons, but I felt much more motivation with this one. I love me my bird boi. I do intend for this to be a slow burn (maybe a friends to lovers? 👀) so I'm excited for this :) Please harass me if I take forever to update. Seriously. Harass me about it.

Also, all the love to Corpse Husband <3 check out his music if you haven't :)

#mha #mha x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #tokoyami x reader #tokoyami #fumikage tokoyami #fumikage x reader #fumikage #agoraphobic #bnha fluff #x reader fic #mha fanfiction #my hero academia #my hero x reader #corpse husband #x reader #mha fluff

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thefloorisbalaclava · 4 years

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pragma - part twenty-three

Pairing: Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales x F!Reader

Warnings: light smut, talk of death, and the rest is fluff

A/N: I haven’t updated in so long and I feel so bad. I hope this makes up for the long wait!

Summary: Frankie is happy with how much his life has changed and he believes it’s all because of you.

[pragma masterlist]

Leaving was the hardest thing to do after spending any amount of time with him. You never liked saying goodbye so it was always ‘see you later’. Frankie liked that better too.

Once you got home, you called to tell him that you got home okay, but it turned into you two being on the phone with each other for almost an hour.

You were in bed wearing one of the hoodies you had ‘borrowed’ from him as you spoke. “We should go away,” you said.

“We went camping a few weeks ago.”

“I mean away away. Across the country. Out of the country. Somewhere far away together.”

“What brought this on?” he asked and, for some reason, your eyes filled with tears. He seemed to always know. “Babe…what is it?”

“I hate being away from you,” you cried then tried to laugh it off. “Sorry, I’m being silly.”

“Shh it’s okay. Talk to me.”

“I lost you once. I don’t wanna lose you again.” You sniffled and wiped your eyes.

“Why do you think you’ll lose me?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I told you I was being silly.”

“Your feelings aren’t silly though. Not to me. I want you to be able to tell me everything.”

“I had a bad dream a few weeks ago…about when I left all those years ago. But this time when I did you…you…” You couldn’t say the words. What if speaking them made it come true?

“Died?”

“I can’t stop thinking about it, Frankie. I shouldn’t have-"

“Yes, you should have. I was no good for you back then. Hell, I’m still not good enough for you now.” He paused. “But I know I love you and that I’m not going anywhere.”

“Me neither. Never again. I promise.” You cried and he let you. He couldn’t quite hold you but hearing his voice and being wrapped up in his hoodie would do for now.

“Wanna talk about something happy now?”

“Yeah…are you excited about starting your new job?”

“I’m nervous as hell, babe,” he confessed. “I may have to call you tomorrow morning for a little pep talk as I get ready.”

“You get to play with puppies all day. I’m jealous!”

“I’ll take pictures.” He went quiet for some time before speaking again. “Baby…remember what we talked about when we were dancing?”

“Yeah.” Your heart was beating out of your chest. “Why?”

“I…um…you know what? We’ll talk about it when we see each other again, okay?”

“Okay. You should probably get to sleep. You need all the rest you can get to keep up with a bunch of puppies.” You smiled as he chuckled on the other end.

“You’re right. I’ll call you first thing. Love you, babe.”

“Love you more.” You hung up and rolled over, falling asleep easily.

Your phone rang with a video call from Frankie at 6 am. You blinked against the brightness of the phone as you answered sleepily.

“Morning, my love. Do you think this is okay?” He showed you his outfit as you yawned and tried to keep your eyes open.

“That’s fine, Frankie.”

His face appeared on the screen again and he smiled apologetically. “Didn’t mean to wake you up. Wanna go back to sleep?” he asked, walking through his house drinking coffee.

“I will after we’re done.” You smiled to reassure him.

“You look so adorable all sleepy and wrapped up in my hoodie. Makes me wanna come take it off of you.” He winked.

“Is this really what you should be talking about before work, sir?”

“Talking about morning sex with my girl before work? Hell yeah! What a motivator.” He pouted. “I can really use that right now, to be honest.”

“God, Frankie…” you sighed. Honestly, you could too. “Don’t tease me.”

“You wanna…you know…” He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked.

“Over the phone? At six in the morning?”

“What? You’ve never had phone sex before?” he asked.

“Have you?” You waited for his response but he only gave you shifty eyes. “Oh my…”

“Are you upset? Don’t be upset.”

“Why would I be upset?”

“It was only when you were-"

“You don’t have to explain, Frankie.” You laughed and shook your head.

“And you’re not mad?”

“No. Now go finish getting ready for work and call me on your break or something. Good luck, hot stuff.” You blew him a kiss.

“Love you, sugar,” he said before hanging up.

You knew that he’d still be thinking that you’re upset with him so to prove to him you weren’t, you pulled up the hoodie you were wearing and snapped a quick picture. You had nothing on under it. Thinking it might be too distracting to send right as he was getting to work, you waited a few hours to send it.

Around 12:15 he called you.

“Babe…I really don’t think it would be good for me to pop a boner while working with a bunch of dogs,” he said and you snorted.

“Just wanted to give you a little surprise,” you started, “How’s it going?”

“I love it. You gotta come by someday and meet everyone.” It was nice hearing him so excited. “Are you gonna send me another picture?” he asked.

“You’ll have to wait and see…”

“Are you still…just wearing my hoodie?” he asked, his voice low and slightly needy.

“Well, I’m actually wearing one of your shirts now. I just threw it on after my shower.” You sat down on the couch and smiled at the small sound he made.

“Which one?”

“Hold on…” You took a few pictures instead. “There.”

“There what?” Then you could hear him moving the phone to look at the message that you had sent him. “Holy…the flannel button up…was wondering where it went.”

“Do you like it on me?” you asked innocently.

“Babe, you could be wearing a trash bag and I’d think you look great. The fact that it's my shirt does make it a little hotter, not gonna lie.” His voice was even lower but you knew you couldn't keep talking about this, at least not while he was at work.

“We’ll talk more about it later. Tell me about the dogs.”

He was so excited and you could hear it in the way he talked about what he did. You were incredibly happy and proud of him. It brought tears to your eyes.

“So, you're happy?” you asked.

“Very happy.” He was smiling. You could hear it.

“Good. Make sure you call me when you get home so you can tell me more.”

“Okay and make sure you send more pics. Love you. Bye.” He hung up quickly so that you couldn’t scold him and you laughed. You love him so damn much.

You were settling down in front of the TV and waiting for Frankie’s phone call when someone knocked on the door. You groaned and stood up again to answer. Checking the peephole, you gasped and opened the door excitedly.

“Surprise!” Frankie said. He opened his arms and you ran into them.

“Frankie baby! What are you doing here?” You kissed, running your fingers through his hair. “You’re wet.”

“I showered before coming. Smelled like dog.” He walked inside with you. “Wanted to tell you about my day in person. I brought food!”

“I’ll grab some drinks,” you said walking to the kitchen. “Beer?”

“Yes please.”

“So, tell me, how was it?” You bent to get the drinks out of the fridge. “Frankie, tell me how-" When you stood up again and turned, you saw the way he was looking at you.

“You’re still wearing the shirt,” he murmured, looking you over.

“None of that until we eat and you tell me about your day.”

He pouted. “Fine.” He sat at the table and took the food out of the bag as you walked over with the drinks.

“Don’t pout,” you said before bending to kiss him. He smiled brightly. “Ah, there’s my Frankie.”

“Your Frankie would like to see what’s under that shirt.” He gave you his best puppy dog eyes. Usually you’d fall for them—those big, brown eyes captivated you—but you sat in the chair beside him and rolled your eyes.

“Am I allowed to eat first, sir?”

“I guess,” he huffed. “Here.” He handed you his phone so you could look through the pictures as he scooped some food onto the plates.

“Oh my god, look at them! Look at you!” He had taken selfies with some of the dogs. “God, you’re cute…wait what’s this?” You turned the phone so he could see.

“Oh, a hammock,” he said nonchalantly, taking a bite of food before feeding you some.

You chewed and swallowed the food in your mouth before speaking. “You made a hammock…for the dogs?”

“Yeah and they loved it!”

You looked at him and smiled. “I ever tell you I love you?”

“Ehhh…maybe a few times,” he teased, feeding you some more food.

“You’re so good to me.”

“Nah, you’re the one who’s good to me. I’m a whole new man because of you.” He wiped your mouth with a napkin then kissed you. He pulled you onto his lap and laid his head on your breasts.

“I don’t want you to be a whole new man though…”

“You know what I mean. I’m…better because of you.” He looked up and smiled.

“And I’m better because of you.” You touched his face and he closed his eyes.

“I’ve been thinking about you in my hoodie and shirt all day.” He gave you a dreamy smile making you laugh.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. I told you what that picture did to me.” He slid his hand up your thigh as he spoke.

You gasped as his hand slid between your legs. “You wanna go upstairs?”

“Not really.” He watched you as he fingertips finally found what they were looking for. “Don’t think I can make it that far.”

“So…you wanna…right here in the chair?” You smiled as you pushed against his fingers.

“Will you keep the shirt on?” he asked, pressing his fingers firmer against your core.

“Y-yes,” you whispered, looking down at his hand.

“Good. You still hungry?” You shook your head. “Okay.” He pushed the food out of the way and sat you on the table.

“What are you doing?” You ran your fingers through his hair as he kissed up your thighs. He looked up at you as he hooked his fingers on the waistband of your panties. You lifted your hips for him and he slid them off then dropped them on the floor. “Frankie, you…ah!” You felt his tongue on you but couldn’t see him very well because of the shirt you wore. You bunched it up to your stomach and immediately met his eyes. “Oh my god…”

He pulled away and grinned at you. “Dessert.”

“You’re so naughty sometimes. Wonder where you get it from.” You pulled his hair a little and he closed his eyes. When they opened again, he looked at you with a sort of hunger. He took no time in delving back between your legs, tasting you and letting you know just how much he was enjoying it with all the sounds he made. “Come here, Frankie.”

“Mm!” He pulled away from you and kissed your thighs again. “I wasn’t done.” His hands slid under the shirt you were wearing before he slid them back out and started to unbutton it.

“I thought you wanted me to keep it on.”

“It’ll stay on. I’m just unbuttoning it to get a better look at you.” He smiled slyly as he stood to reach the rest of the buttons. You pulled at his shirt and he let you slip it up and off. He admired the way the shirt hung off your shoulders now that he finished unbuttoning it. You were laid bare to him and almost felt shy.

“Are we really about to make love on my kitchen table?” you asked, pulling him to you.

“Yeah, I think so,” he said, smirking.

It didn't take long before Frankie had all his clothes off. The food had long been forgotten as he pressed into you slowly, kissing along your collarbone. You held him close as he made love to you. He took his time and you savored each minute. It was clear you both missed each other.

After a bath, you both laid in your bed and looked at the pictures and video he had taken on his first day at work. You learned the names of most of the dogs and looked at Frankie with such admiration as he talked about them. It was hard not falling in love with him more every time he spoke.

“I'm so happy for you,” you told him and he put the phone down to look at you.

“I owe everything to you.” He laid his head on your stomach and you played with his hair. He looked up at you with those big brown eyes that enraptured you every time.

“Give yourself some credit, Frankie.”

“I don’t think I would’ve done this if you weren’t back in my life,” he confessed. “I never really had any direction since leaving the army and losing my license…and losing you.”

“You found your way,” you reminded him.

“No, you found me again. You helped me find myself. You helped me find the guy I was all those years ago—the guy you fell in love with. I had lost him for a while.” He took your hand and kissed it.

“And you helped me in more ways than I can ever say. You saved me. Don’t you ever forget that.”

It was quiet for a time before either of you spoke again. “Do you believe in fate?” he asked. “I never used to before. Thought it was a bunch of nonsense…but then I met you and my mind changed about a lot of things. I think we were meant for each other even if I’ve done fuck all to deserve you…”

“You deserve me more than anyone. And yes, we are meant for each other. I’m never letting you go…again,” you added quietly.

“I hope I never give you a reason to again.” He looked at you as if to say ‘I won’t let you down'.

“You’re stuck with me,” you said.

“Well, ain’t I the lucky one?” He smiled at you then nuzzled your stomach, getting himself more comfortable. You hoped he knew how lucky he made you feel.

[twenty-four]

pragma taglist: @cable-kenobi @saltywintersoldat @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @pedrosdoll @psychobillybunny @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @keeper0fthestars @mrsparknuts @thinemineours @huliabitch @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @mrscrain-x7 @fioccodineveautunnale @gooddaykate @themilkface @ms-dont-care @mus1caln0tes @awesomefandomsunited @seawhisperer @virtualxjournality @badassbaker @lokiaddicted @forever-rogue @sloantravels @javier-djarin @longitud-de-onda

permanent taglist:

@demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @tiffdawg

@cryptkeepersoul

@heresathreebee

@jawabear

@agirllovespasta

@opheliaelysia

@thisis-theway

@huliabitch

@sammiesweet

@pedropasscals

@katlikeme

#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #francisco 'catfish' morales #pedro pascal #triple frontier #pragma #headcanon

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dust-and-lilies · 3 years

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vulnerable

I feel like my mind is a mess right now and the main thing is that I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just so demotivated with everything my whole existence. I stay up late so much, I don't wanna see people, I don't like socializing but then I'll just end up going out and drinking most nights. I've always been so on top of how i feel mentally, I always purposely manipulate my perspective on situations to make me see it in the most positive way, and it might make me slightly delusional.

I just don't think I'm okay and I don't think I've been okay for a while. Obviously my last breakup has been a massive thing where I've just felt like not in my life since then. I can't put it into words it's like my experience with life is just really weird. I just have no motivation to do anything.

But you know the worst thing about it is I'm like simultaneously just numb to everything so I don't even know what it is in my own head. It's like I'm hypersensitive to everything but I'm also numb to everything.

I've just lost my spark, like a massive spark and a massive part of who I am recently. I just feel so disconnected from everything going on but I'm also too numb to actually care and it feels like I'll never figure out what it actually is that making me feel this way. I guess there's just so many things happened since last year like I've gone through so much this year, it's ridiculous.

I feel like everything I have in my life I'm gonna lose. Like it used to be a situation happen and I'd cry about it and then I'd get over it and I wouldn't cry about it again, but now I cry and I don't know why I'm crying. I'll be watching youtube videos at 2 am and I just breakdown, I don't know why, it's like I'm not in control of my head anymore. And then after that intense crying session I just snap out of it and I'm back to life and I'm just numb again.

Maybe it's just everything that happened this past year and how I lost people i really loved in my family and now I just feel like I'm gonna lose everything and everyone. But I get it, I get that that's the beauty of it, like the risk that comes along with it makes it more amazing and beautiful and something to really treassure the fact that it might not be there forever. But it just makes me scared to get to that position in the fist place because I'm scared to just lose it again afterwards and if I don't put myself in that position to begin with then I've got nothing to lose. So I purposely just push everything out of my life that I'm most scared to lose.

I think that I feel a lack of love in my life, I guess it's quiet lonely when I don't talk about it and I just live in denial in my own head I'm just so numb and I can't be bothered to think about it. I think that something can get taken away so easily and it kinda does mess with you a lot. It's like dangerous to love because it can just get taken away so quick.

I don't feel like the same person that I was and in some ways good and in some ways bad. I feel like the good way is that I'm realizing a lot and I'm learning and I'm growing but then I'm also so stuck because I'm so numb to everything that happens. It doesn't get easier, a lot of people said that I'm a strong person when I'm actually not, I'm so fragile and I just feel like crying all the time.

Speaking to guys and stuff like that makes me scared like they'll be making an effort with me but I'm just like "If I stay in control and I don't let you in then I can't lose you and you can't leave my life if I don't have you or love you in the first place then I can't lose you and be sad about it because I never had any emotion for you to begin with" and I don't like that, but then at the same time I've had people leave me. It's like losing someone you love so much, so like where do I go from there?

I've never felt this vulnerable before. I think I'm also deeply insecure as well, that's something that I've realized recently because when people show interest in me a lot of the time if they don't know me very well I'm just like "no, you're gonna get to know me and then you're gonna hate me" even though I don't know why I think that because I don't think I'm a bad person like I think I'd be quite a nice person to love like I know I have a really pure heart and always have good intentions especially to those who I love but it's just hard for me to show that recently. I'm just so tired with everything I just wanna curl up into a ball and be hugged forever.

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astrologista · 4 years

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Kristoph Gavin Character Analysis I

Part 1 of... fucking infinity, I hate this bitch so much lmao.

Well, it's Halloween time and I just thought, why not. So let's answer this question.

What makes Kristoph Gavin a scary character/villain? A soft spoken gentleman with a deadly secret... the Devil, who lives in his hand, that crazy evil scar thing, his creepy music theme... damn, he’s a scary dude. But scariest of all? His psychology, as we all know. (This is mostly gonna be headcanons. but ya know what, I have a license (hands you a piece of paper that says ‘i can do what i want’))

Kristoph seems like a person who is very aloof, particularly when it comes to personal relationships. At first he kind of just seems like the typical anime glasses guy whose main emotion is like whooa he does the glare thing with his glasses sometimes. But... what is he really about?

You know, let me digress for a moment, what's really interesting to me about the AA characters is how much depth they have in their writing. Case in point, Adrian Andrews. There's a character who you assume is just going to be the typical "anime glasses girl" who is a career woman who don't need no man, and is very aloof, cool, and as she says, not concerned with irrelevant topics or things. Later you learn about the true depths to her personality. The fact that she is codependent, that she needs other people telling her what to do in order to survive. Just because she masks these emotions doesn't mean they don't exist. I felt that really gave a lot of depth to her character and added another dimension that stories in this genre don't often address as boldly or fully (especially when it comes to a female character). So the quality of the writing is always really top notch with only a few exceptions. Take this as context...

Now getting back to Kristoph Gavin. Typical anime glasses dude, right? But no, though. One of the reasons why he's so interesting to me is how his emotional understanding of personal relationships really works. Or seems to, anyway. Based on the endgame testimony and his crimes, Kristoph Gavin is extremely dangerous because, should you get involved with him in any way, he will never, ever let go of you, ever. Once you are entangled with him he wants you to stay entangled, not unlike an overbearing parent who refuses to let you go. It's partly that he thinks he knows what's best for you (that is, to stay completely loyal to him). And also partly... because he is pretty dependent on what other people think of him. So he needs to keep them around him closely.

Kristoph's biggest fear was his lying being exposed for what it was. That Phoenix was really the honest, straightforward attorney, and not him. Kristoph would do anything to perpetuate his own false reality. He kept it going for seven years. His absolute worst fear of all was losing his reputation. Being seen for what he truly was in front of others. He could never accept that. That fear drove all of his murders. Fundamentally, he sees himself as benevolent... when nothing could be further from the truth of how he was hurting everyone who had the misfortune of crossing his path.

Kristoph has a need to perpetuate this false identity of himself above all else. A very adjacent second goal to that is to keep all of his personal associates very close and under his control in order to keep the first goal intact.

Reject him and he will stalk you until you are dead. By his hand, or otherwise. Slight him, and he will get you at the first opportunity, case in point, Zak Gramarye. (He only had to get a quick glance at the guy and his fate was sealed. Turnabout Trump is a chilling case.) Replace him, and he will tear your life and livelihood up into little itty bitty pieces. He will then continue to stalk you aggressively for seven years while pretending he is your best friend. Case in point, Phoenix Wright.

Create false evidence for him and you become a loose end. So does your daughter. Like I said, just don't get involved with him. If he feels threatened, Kristoph Gavin will not hesitate to end you. It's definitely an obsession. I mean the first word that comes to people's minds when it comes to Kristoph usually isn't "obsessed", because he gives off the aura of being calm and uninterested. But he is, he's obsessed. You have to be obsessed to do what he did. This shit consumed his every waking hour, and that's what he won't admit. That he was so sick, he completely lost the plot. Phoenix was already living in his head rent free the day he ordered the forgery. And even though Phoenix wasn't physically present at the Misham trial and was only watching everything by video camera, you can bet Kristoph was seeing Phoenix. Hallucinating him, images of him. Probably multiple images of him. That's how obsessive. Imagine letting something or someone control you to that extent. Imagine thinking that you're so important, that Phoenix taking Zak Gramarye's case at all was meant to be a slight against you personally. (It's funny because Phoenix mentions not even knowing Kristoph at all until after the disbarment. So Kristoph's own logic in thinking that Phoenix was just out to shame him absolutely doesn't track. Ob-sessed, dude.)

It's actually pretty astonishing that someone like Apollo made it out alive. On a side note, I really think Kristoph enjoyed having someone to mentor. He sought someone like Apollo out. Someone naive and new to the field for him to indoctrinate. And maybe I have a post about that later, cuz that's a whole 'nother barrel of monkeys right there. (It kind of involves Apollo’s naivete (also, daddy issues, hello.) being a huge reason why he would gravitate towards having a mentor known for having a “caring” personality. And I think Apollo genuinely liked that about him, which makes the end result so much more awful for Apollo to deal with because to him, that was real.)

But now think of Klavier, right. Being forced to grow up with that. To live with that your entire life. To have a familial relationship that is that smothering, that suffocating, that strangling. That controlling, to criticize every single thing that you do or say right down to the way you say it. And remember... He's never letting you go. I would go on a world tour as a rock star, too. Anything to be anywhere he isn't. This is horror movie tier stuff. (now im imagining a horror movie trailer for aa4 focusing on gavins stuff... eep!)

And Kristoph Gavin markets himself as someone who simply doesn't care. He's the coolest defense in the west and he doesn't care for what you may think about it. Except... he does care. It totally consumes him. Your perception, your opinion, is everything to him. He has shitty self esteem, deep down, because he knows Phoenix is better than him. And tries to mask it with narcissism as the two duke it out. Appearances are everything, evidence is everything. What people think is true is the only thing that matters, truth doesn't. And it makes sense that his closest contacts and associates are the targets for his constant narcissistic abuse and gaslighting. Their opinions matter even more than the common crowd - of course, Kristoph hates them. Which makes it even worse for him when the jury decides unanimously that Vera is innocent (and by implication, he is therefore guilty). The jury verdict was kind of like the ultimate confirmation that guess what, the evidence doesn't matter. The common and boorish masses have passed judgement, no matter how "mindless, emotional and irrational" they are, even they can see behind his crappy little facade. Even a blind woman like Lamiroir can see that insecurity; even a common person can understand it just by looking at the facts. That's what absolutely wrecks him... that his “poker face” couldn’t hold a candle to Phoenix’s. And he loses the “hand” again (because of his “hand”... get it??).

The identity that he needs to maintain is part of how he sees himself in his mind. As Phoenix's protector, not as his stalker. As Klavier's benevolent big brother, not as his abuser. As Apollo's teacher and mentor, not as someone guiding him into ruin. He lives in a false reality.

Try to bring this up in any way, shape, or form and he will write it off. You're just imagining things...

Because at some level, Mr. Black Psyche Locks himself doesn't even realize. (I feel like that might just be basically canonical fact, based on Pearl’s explanation of how black psyche locks are supposed to work.) That’s pretty freaking terrifying.

At the end of the day this is a big part of the reason I think his character is just so interesting. In a very messed up way, Kristoph is one degree away from being such a good person. He could've been obsessively protective of Klavier - the way a big brother is supposed to be - instead of abusive, could've actually been very caring of Phoenix instead of manipulative. Terrible people can have good traits, just as good people can have awful traits. His attention to detail and understanding of psychology (like getting Vera those gifts she would like so much) could've been used for genuine good. He could've been someone who cares deeply about other people because he does care deeply about other people. But only in terms of their relation to himself, what do they think of him, how are they useful to him.

Maybe this is why I kind of like his character. Intelligent, semi-neurotic protective characters are just my ish. But, no, he has to have a narcissistic bent that skews everything into complete abuse. That’s what makes him awful... that he’s devoid of a moral compass or true compassion for other human beings.

So in closing, fuck off, Kristoph Gavin.

Postscript, he's also such a good foil for Phoenix for this reason. Kristoph does everything for himself. Phoenix does everything for Trucy, because he's a dad and he understands the weight of what it means to really care for someone. Kristoph couldn’t understand motives like that. And Phoenix can't help it if he's an order of magnitude smarter and more mature than Kristoph is. He was just born like that. Classy as fuck. You know what, Kristoph Gavin is like the dollar store version of Phoenix Wright as an attorney. Has many of the same functions but actually doesn't have a leg to stand on and will fail you when you need it. And is revealed to just be a cheap knockoff of the real thing.

#kristoph gavin #aa4 #apollo justice ace attorney #im just thinkin thoughts here #dont know why im in such a creepy mood right now #maybe halloween has something to do with it #srsly i need to do some analysis on some other characters lol #and ignore this rat man #btw im totally up to analyze specific characters and interactions #lmk #maybe nahyuta?#or phoenix and trucy #or phoenix and apollo...aaa

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adikospodcast · 3 years

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EP. 2: THE ABDUCTION OF EUROPA [TRANSCRIPT]

hello everyone and welcome back to adikos, a true crime podcast, or welcome in case you're new! my name is arete, i'm your host, and first of all i'd like to thank you all so much for all the support you've been giving me on my first episode: i'm obviously still really new to podcasting, it's something i only do in my spare time, but i'm really, really glad you guys enjoyed it, and i'm definitely gonna keep going with your support!

so, today i wanted to talk to you about a case that is really old and really well known, but that surprisingly few people actually know the ending to: i'm talking about the story of the abduction of europa here, and i feel like most people are tangentially aware of that, since she is the woman who gave the name to europe, but not many people actually know the full story beyond like, the moment she got kidnapped, and they don't know that this case actually has a happy ending, which is lovely to hear about for a change, with all the terrible and grim stories that are so common in true crime!

now, before we go on talking about this case, i wanted to give you a bit of background on europa's actual family history, because there are a lot of players at hand here, and i just wanted to make sure that basically you know who they are, even though i'm going to keep reminding you just in case throughout the video. so we have her father, agenor, who was born in memphis, in egypt, to poseidon, the god obviously, and to libya, but he left egypt to be ruled by his brother and he settled down in what would become phoenicia, and he founded the city of tyre. in tyre he met a naiad whose name is telephassa, though some people report it as argiope, but i'm gonna refer to her as telephassa since it's the most commonly used name, and the two married and together they had four children, who were: phoenix, who would become the heir to the throne, cadmus, cilix, and europa, who was the only girl in the family, basically. now, in this case we have another element, another participant, whose relation to the family is really unclear, and i wanted to try and clear up, basically, his presence in the whole story: he is thasus, and he's said to have basically a different connection to the family in pretty much every source i looked at; he has been said to be the son of agenor, the son of cilix, or even the uncle of europa and her brothers! so the one thing that we actually know about him for sure is that he is somehow, someway related to europa, which will be relevant later on when we get into the actual events of this case, but i just wanted to give you this basic, real brief overview of the family tree, so you can have that in mind basically throughout this story.

so, europa grew up in tyre, surrounded by her family and by plenty of friends: by all accounts, she was an extremely beautiful young woman, and she was really kind and sweet, she really got along with everyone she met. she and her brothers were really close growing up, and all three of them were really protective of their little sister, but she also had lots of female friends, aside, of course, from her handmaidens. so, according to one source i read, the night before everything went down, europa had a dream that really deeply shook her to her bones: she dreamt that she was being contented between two lands, which were personified as women, and one was dressed as basically was the custom in europa's culture, she was clinging to her, saying she belonged to her, but the other woman was dressed in foreign clothes that europa had never seen before, and she was violently tugging on her, and she ripped her away from the other woman, saying it was the will of the "bearer of the aegis" for europa to belong to her. the aegis is, as you may know, the legendary shield of zeus, it's basically his symbol, and in my opinion this may have been a prophetic dream of sorts that the fates may have sent to her, seeing what was going to come in her future.

europa woke up terrified and shaking, she was understandably really afraid of this dream; she called for handmaidens and told them everything about the dream she'd had, and they suggested going down to the beach together, to* help her clear her mind out, basically. now at this time it was nearly dawn, the palace was still asleep, besides the girls, and europa and her handmaidens just snuck out in silence, headed down to the beach without being escorted by anyone, but without even telling anyone, which is obviously a really unsafe thing to do – please always tell someone where you're going, in case something happens – but europa didn't want to have to wake anyone up, understandably, and besides, they thought, they were not completely alone: they were quite a large group of girls, so in their minds it would be a bit hard for anyone who wanted to harm them or sneak up on them to actually do something, because they were so many.

now, basically, the beach that the girls had gone down to was somewhat close to the palace, and it was at the base of a hill; and at the top of the hill was the enclosure of agenor's cow herd, which really just gives you an idea of just how old this case really is, this was still a time where having a big herd of animals was what made your wealth, what made your affluence. so, because this was right at sunrise, the cows were beginning to stir, obviously the herd was beginning to wake up, and suddenly they started acting up, for no apparent reason: they began pushing against the enclosure they were in, they even broke down the fence that was holding them in, and they set themselves free basically, and then the entire herd began running down the hill and running towards the beach that the girls were on, which is obviously really frightening, i don't know what i would have done if i was one of those girls.

now, at this point the girls were just lying in the sand, playing on the seashore, enjoying themselves, looking at the sunrise in peace, but when they noticed the herd of cows that was barreling towards them, obviously they got really scared, and they tried to move out the way so they wouldn't be trampled; however, once the herd actually got to the shore, it began to calm down, and the girls were able to get close again, and some of them even began to play with the cows, petting them. and when they were interviewed, europa's handmaidens reported that europa herself got really close to this one specific big white bull she said she'd never seen before among her father's animals, and she began petting him, and weaving him a flower crown, and the bull just sat there patiently and tolerated all that she did to him, just everything that she could do, he just to let her do whatever she wanted with him. now, the situation that the girls were in was obviously a bit unusual: obviously it's not every day, and it was not every day at the time, that you would go to the beach and be surrounded by cows, but they weren't really worried, you know, they had no reason to be; as long as they didn't anger any of the cows, any of the bulls, they thought they could enjoy themselves for a bit, then head back to the palace and tell agenor that the herd had escaped; however, they could never have imagined what was about to happen, obviously.

once europa was done leaving her little flower crown for her bull, she showed it proudly to all her handmaidens, she was really happy about it, and she climbed on the bull so she could reach him better and put it on his head. now, according to what the girls said when they were interrogated, in that moment, when europa climbed on him, the bull got on his legs, with no sort of warning whatsoever, he took off running straight into the sea as if he was taken by madness, and europa was obviously powerless to do anything but try to hold on and not fall off into the sea. she called for help, she screamed as if she was being murdered, but obviously the other girls couldn't do anything: they risked getting seriously injured if they got too close to the animal, and they thought they were too far away from the palace to get help there and come back in time before anything had happened.

now, what happened next was even crazier than that, and that is that once the bull actually hit the sea in his run, he wasn't stopped by the water, he kept galloping straight ahead as if he could just easily travel across the water, and europa obviously held on even tighter, she was terrified that she might fall into the open sea, she didn't know how to swim all the way back to the coast! and at that point, the handmaidens lost all sight of both her and the bull, and they realized that something supernatural or divine was probably afoot, so they rushed back to the palace, they called on to agenor, told him what had happened; now, many of the people who originally were reporting on the investigation when it was still ongoing were quite suspicious of the fact that the girls hadn't gone to call for help while europa was being taken away, but only after she had been lost, only after her traces had been lost, and some even insinuated that they may have had something to do with the disappearance!

now, obviously i can understand that you want to follow every possible trail you have and consider every single suspect during the search and the investigation for a missing person, especially when it comes to the last people that saw her, but i don't think that this suspicion really holds, or even held at the time, any water whatsoever: the girls, the handmaidens, were europa's closest friends, and there was no enmity between them that could motivate them to do something terrible to her and invent a lie to cover their tracks, and this is not even to mention the fact that they were a bunch of young girls on a beach, they had no tools or anything to even harm her or hide her body, even if they had wanted to hurt her. and to me this is, at least, the case of someone witnessing something terrible and being traumatized, shell shocked, and unable to do anything until it's over, and if i try to put myself in their shoes, though hopefully i'm never going to be in the same situation, i can completely sympathize with their behavior.

thankfully for the girls, agenor and his family had always known them and their families, and they were ready to believe their terrified account of what had happened, especially when they saw that the herd had been let loose and the fence was torn down in a way that couldn't have been done by them, even if they had tried. everyone in the palace was extremely scared and really upset at europa's disappearance, she was a lovely girl and all those who knew her really could never have hoped for something like that to happen, and everybody both in and outside the royal family offered to help look for her.

agenor, since he was the king of tyre, he was aging, he was getting really old, he made the incredibly hard decision to not go search himself for his daughter, but remain alone to rule the city on his own, as he was afraid he would be more of a hassle than a benefit to the search efforts; but he sent his sons, who were europa's older brothers, to lead the search parties that would look for her, and he made them swear on the gods and on their life that they would never come back home unless they had found her. telephassa, europa's mother. was absolutely distraught at the loss of her daughter, of course, but she vowed that she would find her no matter what, and she left tyre to look after her herself, alongside thasus and a small search party of their own.

all the brothers said their goodbyes to their native land and vowed to find their sister no matter what, and they left with all the volunteers who wanted to help look for the princess; they took different ships and sailed in various directions, so they could try and cover as much ground as possible, and whenever they encountered land, whether it be an island or a coast, they would explore it and usually interrogate the locals, if it was an inhabited place, on whether or not they had seen any girl in the likeness of europa, wearing the usual tyrian attire, possibly with a bull or with another animal, or even with a god; but no matter who they asked, all they received was no after no, and europa just seemed to have completely vanished into non-existence. now, these search efforts went on for years, and they explored practically every island and every coast in the eastern mediterranean, which is obviously a massive area to cover. i cannot begin to imagine what europa's relatives were going through, knowing their sister, their daughter was gone, and desperately looking for any sort of closure about what had happened to her. and the brothers were obviously interviewed many times on this case, later in their lives, and cadmus said that they knew their sister was still there, just barely out of their reach, as if the gods were taunting them or something, and that their failure to find her had deeply traumatized them for the rest of their lives, which to me is terrible to even think about.

eventually, even though they were being eaten up by guilt, by sorrow, the brothers had to settle down somewhere, after years and years of fruitless searching. cadmus ended up settling in boeotia, he founded the city of thebes and married the goddess armonia; cilix found himself in the south of anatolia and he conquered the area, the area we know as cilicia, and he gave origin to the population of the region, which we know as cilician because of him; thasus and telephassa had taken to exploring the northernmost parts of the coast, and they ended up in thracia, which is really far away, and they settled down in the very small island of thasus and they founded a colony there, and this was the farthest away from their homeland of tyre of any of them; as for phoenix, what ended up happening to him is one of the saddest parts of this whole case, in my opinion.

so, you remember how i said that agenor had forbidden his sons from ever coming back to tyre unless they had found their sister? well, the brothers took that really seriously, and for good reason: agenor was one to stick to his promises, no matter how outlandish they were, and none of them wanted to risk what may have happened if they had dared to come back. only phoenix, who was the heir to the throne, dared to come back years after the events, to reclaim his rightful place in the city; and as soon as he and his ships even set foot on the land of tyre, agenor spared his son no mercy whatsoever. at first, he thought that maybe he had actually found europa and brought her back, but once he saw that his sister was not with him he threatened to kill him, kill his own son, if he did not leave immediately, and that he would not be so kind the next time he saw him. and obviously phoenix ran away with his ships, with his people, but he didn't go really that far from home: he settled down in the northern part of the coast, and when his father died and the throne became empty he wasted no time going to tyre, snatching it up and conquering it, and basically conquering all the neighboring territories, and creating the area which we now call phoenicia in his honour.

now, you might be thinking that this story is sad enough on its own, it's one of the sadly many cases of a girl getting kidnapped, disappearing, and her family never knowing what happened to her despite their best efforts, and even falling apart because of her disappearance; but in this case, we actually do know what happened with europa after she was kidnapped away by the divine bull, and i think that once you hear what happened you'll find it a bit ironic, to say the least. so, once the bull took off into the sea with europa on his back, he actually landed in crete, and he brought the girl to the highest point in the island, in the middle of the woods on top of a mountain, so that nobody would notice what was happening and where, which actually means that she was probably not so far away from her brothers when they were first looking for her, since crete must have been one of their first stops, i assume, being so close to the coast.

obviously europa was really terrified, and she had no idea where she was, what was going on, but she had also caught on to the fact that this bull was probably a god, or at least some sort of supernatural creature, and she just froze and let him take her where he wanted, obviously she didn't want to anger him. when they reached the mountaintop, the bull tossed europa to the ground and he revealed himself in his human form; he introduced himself as zeus, the king of the gods, and told her that he had been beguiled by her virginal beauty as soon as he had set his godly eyes on her, and that he had brought her to crete to seduce her and then give her a husband which was fit to marry zeus's lover.

europa was understandably quite shocked: it's one thing to joke around with her friends about seducing zeus, and it was definitely another thing to be actually abducted by him, with the very real possibility of being violated by him. she balked at first, refused to do anything with him, and when zeus saw that forcing himself on her would be of no avail, he went for a different route to get to her heart instead: he gifted her a lavish golden necklace, sculpted by hephaestus himself, and promised her more gifts to come if she were to accept him. and seeing how far he was willing to go to seduce her, to have sex with her, europa thought she had no choice but to accept his advances; she gave up, she let him take her, do whatever he wanted with her, and when she was, later in her life, interviewed about her relationship with zeus and the children she bore by him, she stated that when he would come to seduce her she would just lay down, dissociate herself from what was going on, think of anything else that could get her through the encounters.

every time that zeus came down from the skies to visit her, he would bring a new present, and each one was more miraculous, more enchanted than the last: the first was talos, an animated bronze giant which moved of its own will, and whose entire original purpose was to actually protect europa from being kidnapped or harmed, which i think is quite funny; the second gift was laelaps, a hunting dog which always managed to catch its prey, and the third was a magic golden javelin which never failed to miss its target. and all of those objects have actually gone down in history, and you may have heard of them before, because europa actually kept them, even after the end of her relationship with zeus, as she passed them down to her sons, after all they were still magic items gifted to her by a god and they may turn out to be useful one day.

speaking of europa's sons, her relationship with zeus actually gave her three children, minos, rhadamantos and sarpedon. obviously she couldn't be left to raise them all alone in the woods, but she also couldn't publicly reveal that she had slept with zeus and had his children, which would risk unleashing the wrath of hera on herself, and also the judgment and disbelief of everyone around her; and of course zeus himself knew this, he had done this countless times before, and even to europa's own ancestor io, who you may know as the woman who was turned into a cow to protect her from hera. so, zeus introduced europa to asterion, the king of crete, and through his intermediation the two of them got married, and asterion even adopted arapa's three sons, since he had no male heirs of his own. and all of them, minos, rhadamantos and sarpedon, would go on to become really important figures, especially minos, who would actually ascend to the throne of crete, and europa was able to live a long, happy marriage with asterion and with zeus's blessing, though she never was able to see her brothers, or parents, or friends, or even just her country again, and they in turn never really know what came of her.

so, this was the case of the abduction of europa! i think this is a really peculiar story, like you don't hear many of them nowadays, and this is for a few reasons. obviously this case is extremely wrapped up in its supernatural element, of course, it centers the abduction of a girl by a literal god, and i feel like it just goes to show how far back this case dates to, to the point that the gods were still mingling with humans on a daily basis and engaging with them, both in the positive and, obviously, in the negative ways. and i think that cases which directly center the gods are far more tricky to handle than the ones where everybody is human: like, with the case of procne and philomela, which i talked about in the last episode, all the people involved were humans, they all had the same standard of morality, more or less, so we can more easily empathize with them, say what they did was right or wrong; but the morality of the gods is so deeply different from ours that we can think something is wrong by our standards, but we will never know the actual reasoning behind a god's actual action, we will never know what their morality is, what the moral value judgment of that action is for a god, and i think that's what makes cases like this really tricky to handle, and why i think i'm going to focus more on human-dominated cases in the future, if that makes sense.

another reason why this case really fascinates me is how bittersweet it is: obviously we know, from the reporters who tracked europa down years and even decades after the event, that she ended up being fine, living a long, happy life, but her brothers, her father, her mother never got to know that, and it's not like europa could exactly reach out to them or vice versa, and that is what really makes this whole story stand out to me: it's not every day that you get a case where everybody's fine in the end but they don't know that, and they are still haunted by that uncertainty; it's the way we, as bystanders from centuries and millennia later, are able to get a closure that the family involved was unfortunately never able to get.

i hope you guys enjoyed today's episode, leave a like if you did! let me know what you thought of this case in the comments down below, and if you have any suggestions or any cases you'd like to hear me talk about, and subscribe if you'd like to never miss out on another true crime episode of this podcast. always remember that every tragedy is born of man's hubris, and i will see you guys next time!

#podcast #tagamemnon #true crime #greek mythology #myth retelling #transcripts #europa #abduction of europa #zeus

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ariana-amidala · 3 years

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We’ll Meet Again Pt.1 (Sam Winchester X Reader)

Hey look at that an a actual series. So in the title it does say Pt.1 so that means there are definitely more parts to this story. I’m hoping it could go on for like 5 chapters but I have the whole plot planned and it looks like it might be a 20+ chaptered fic. Should this be on AO3 as well because if so please comment on it. Also if you want more series for other future characters (they don’t have to be supernatural related characters) let me know! I’ll definitely need your opinion and a basic plot that you have going on to make it but my inbox is open!!

Sam wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. He wanted to avoid everything and everyone, including his brother Dean. He wasn’t fast enough to get to her, he was too late.

“Sammy come on let’s go home,” Dean said waiting on his younger brother. Sam stood in front of the collapsed building. She was in there, tied down to a post and wasn’t responding to him or any of his brothers calls.

“We can’t just leave Dean,” Sam said quietly. He felt like he was disturbing her peace if he would’ve spoke any louder. “It’s my fault she ran in the first place,”

“No it isn’t and you know it isn’t,” Dean said. He didn’t understand how his brother felt. Sam had lost Jessica and now after knowing you for 6, you left him too.

“Why does this always happen to me?” He said turning around tears pooling in his eyes, threatening to spill over. “All I do is good and I’m rewarded like this,”

“Let’s just go home and we can get you something to eat okay,” Dean said walking up and hugging his younger brother. Dean distanced himself a long time ago from people he’s loved. His mother was the only woman he ever held on for but death can’t reverse it for him either.

“I just want her back Dean,” he mumbled. Sam never felt this angry to the universe, angry that they had to take away his peace.

“I know buddy. I do too,” Dean replied grabbing his brother and directing him to the impala. Sam started to tear up more from what you said to him prior to your death.

“It’s like she’ll always be our home,”

“Home,” he whispered getting into the impala and sniffing your jacket that you had left in the backseat. It still smelled like you and he felt safe.

“Do you want road food or do you want something from the bunker?” Dean asked. Sam thought about what you would’ve picked.

“Bunker food please,” he said thinking about how after every hunt you used to make the boys something.

“Mind if I stop to get pie?” Dean asked. He generally didn’t know if Sam wanted to go straight home or drive about.

“That’s fine Dean,” he said snuggling your jacket and leaning his head on the window trying to fall asleep to what was left of you. It was your favorite jacket too, the one you bought when the two of you had that off day, it was a soft pink with a crown on the back. Sam loved it as well, made you look like a fluffy bear.

“Sam,” Dean said shaking him awake. Sam shot awake immediately.

“Where is she?” Sam said groggily. Only as he said that he realized where he was and what day it was. Immediately frowning again still holding the jacket close. He saw Castiel at the door frame, he had this look on his face when he was confused with what he was doing because he still didn’t full understand humans.

“Aren’t there supposed to be three of you?” Cas asked as we approached him in the general area of the bunker.

“Let’s not talk about it right now buddy,” Dean said handing Cas a duffle bag. Your duffle bag.

“Where is she?” Cas asked quietly trying to keep quiet and not set Sam off, but he had heard the question.

“She’s gone,” he let out breathlessly. His head hung low as he walked into the bunker and heading for your room.

“He’s not taking it very well,” Dean said to Cas. He did his head tilt, something the angel always did when he didn’t understand human emotions.

“We can always get her back,” Cas said unawaringly. Dean shook his head.

“I’m not gonna mess with the laws of time again bud,” he said walking past his friend and into the kitchen heading for the fridge.

“Dean, if she’s in heaven. I could get her back,” Cas said quietly. “If it meant that much to Sam,”

Dean coughed on his drink of choice for the night. He had a somber look on his face. If you did come back Sam might think a deal was made and it wouldn’t help. Another reason was because he always had a motive of ‘what’s dead should stay dead’, he loved you dearly as a little sister but he also knew messing with time never went well for them Winchesters.

“You could get her back, but Sam would be running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off,” He replied to his celestial friend.

“Why would Sam be a chicken?” He asked not understanding these human references.

“It’s just a saying Cas,” Dean explained as the two of them talked Jack had left his room to great both brothers but stopped short when it was just Dean and Cas in the kitchen.

“Where’s Sam and Y/N?” He asked.

“Sam’s in his room kiddo,” Cas said letting his surrogate son know where his other father figure was. As Jack heard that he was about to dash off to great the youngest Winchester and ask him to watch a movie he turned around again.

“What about Y/N?” Jack asked bracing just in case anybody started yelling.

“She won’t be coming back kid,”Dean said treading lightly. You were the closest thing Jack had to a mother, he always asked you to go to the ice cream shoppe down the street from the bunker and play video games with him.

“What do you mean she’s not coming back?” Jack asked, poor guy was still too young to understand death.

“He means she’s gone buddy,” Sam said entering the kitchen, eyes red and puffy, your reindeer blanket wrapped tightly around him, your favourite bracelet on his wrist now. Dean took one look at his baby brother and knew it wasn’t going to get any easier for him.

“She’ll come home soon though right?” Jack asked hopeful. He knew you’d never leave the boys for long. Sam couldn’t say anything about it because he didn’t want to upset Jack either.

“Yeah, she always does,” he said chocking back a sob. “Is there any mashed potato salad left in her bowl,” he whispered to Dean. He nodded opening the fridge and handing Sam your bowl and a glitter infused spoon.

As soon as he had left the kitchen Cas was already on his way to the outside of the bunker preparing himself to get back into heaven.

“Cas?” Dean and Jack both said following him outside.

“I can’t stand seeing him like that,” He said before he was gone with a flutter of wings.

“Dammit,” Dean said walking back into the bunker and dragging Jack with him. Dean quietly told Jack to stay in his room until either Cas, Sam or him had knocked and Jack understood. As Dean walked passed his little brothers room he could hear light talking coming from Sam.

“We’ll meet again sweetheart. I promise,”

__________________•tags•

@samsgirl93

#sam winchester x reader #jared padalecki x reader #thank you supernatural #supernatural #source: supernatural #DEANCAS #Destiel #supernatural family #supernatural quotes #sad sam #sam x y/n #jared padamoose #SPN Family #spnfandom

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lesbeet · 3 years

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wait I would love to know what you think is wrong w oceans 8 I'm v curious I really loved that movie

i’m so sorry in advance but you’re basically getting the word-vomit version of the hypothetical script i would write for this hypothetical video essay so it’s gonna be long lskdjfksjd

but i mean don’t get me wrong i find ocean’s 8 entertaining and i’ve seen it a good number of times, but honestly i kind of consider it like. entertainment junk food lmao

i’ve never seen the original ocean’s eleven that the 2001 remake was based on, but i grew up watching the remake with my dad and i’ve always loved it (i’ve only seen ocean’s 12 and 13 once each and didn’t really care for them, though), so that’s also a factor, but not necessarily in the way you might think

most of the criticism i’ve seen of ocean’s 8 is either 1. along the lines of the criticism disney has (rightfully) been getting for rebooting/remaking/etc all of their older movies just to make money—except considering the 2001 remake is just that, a remake, i feel like that particular critique doesn’t really hold up in this circumstance—or 2. “why do we need a remake with women, this is just ghostbusters all over again, blah blah blah feminism bad” which again like. yes i think the motivation for making the film was more to jump on the trend of #girlboss remakes than anything else, but that doesn’t necessarily result in a bad movie, and i don’t think that was where the movie fell short. in other words, my problem with ocean’s 8 isn’t that it’s a remake, nor that it’s a remake with women

i spent some time this morning watching certain clips from both the 2001 movie and from ocean’s 8, and i think if anything the problem is that ocean’s 8 tried so hard NOT to be a carbon copy of ocean’s 11 that it ended up losing the emotional core that i personally think makes ocean’s 11 so interesting, and more than just a heist film (ok from here on out i’m just gonna call them 8 and 11 bc the word ocean doesn’t even look like a real word to me anymore)

i like that 8 mixed up (some of) the characters’ roles and personalities in comparison to 11; i would’ve been really annoyed if nine ball, for example, had basically just been a female version of livingston, or if constance had been a female version of linus, etc. my biggest gripe in that department is that they clearly tried to make lou (cate blanchett’s character) the female version of rusty, and she just...does not cut it imo. debbie is hardly a female version of danny, but i don’t think they were as overtly trying to paint her that way, which makes their attempt at framing the debbie-lou friendship as analogous to the danny-rusty friendship seem lazy

beyond the characters, the writers (et al) of 8 basically had two other aspects of 11 to evaluate, and to decide how similar or different they wanted their version to be: structure/style, and substance. i think they emphasized the former over the latter, and i think that was the mistake

i wouldn’t necessarily always classify structure and style as a singular aspect of a work, but i think in this case it makes sense, if only because those are (imo) the more recognizable aspects of ocean’s 11, and ones that are most readily available for someone wanting to make a parody or homage or remake or whatever—primarily, the plot beats and the stylistic elements like the visual editing and the soundtrack

in vague terms, the plot is almost identical (excluding the bloated ending of 8). the film opens with ocean convincing a parole board to release them from prison, where they’ve spent their entire sentence plotting the heist. then ocean seeks out their blond best friend and tells them about the elaborate heist, blond best friend tells them they’re crazy but is quickly convinced. ocean and blond best friend travel around to collect old associates and/or other recommended con artists. the group plans and prepares the heist. blond best friend finds out that there’s a hidden element of revenge in the plan and confronts ocean. the plan more or less goes forward as it’s been presented to the audience. then it turns out that there was a whole secret plan unbeknownst to the audience, and we get to see how it plays into what we already knew. the heist is pulled off successfully, including the secret revenge plot by ocean against someone who wronged them. (here’s where 8 departs into what i find to be a really slow-moving and unnecessary thing with james corden the insurance man who does nothing lol)

likewise, imo 8′s aesthetic comes across as a fair ~feminine~ met gala equivalent to 11′s vegas aesthetic, including some similar jazzy guitar/bass action in the score, and the screen wipe transitions

but ocean’s 8 has no substance. that’s the problem.

i referred to a secret revenge plot in my summary, but honestly that’s less my own interpretation than the interpretation i think the writers of 8 were working from. debbie’s secret plot is revenge against whatshisface who wronged her, but danny’s secret plot is to win tess back. he obviously fucks over benedict both romantically and financially in the process, but his primary motivation for everything he does with his heist is to win back the love of his life.

tbh i probably would’ve been annoyed if they’d made debbie’s secret plot an attempt at winning back an ex bc that’s boring and too on the nose for a remake, but in their attempt at not making a carbon copy of 11, the writers of 8 lost the heart of the story. debbie isn’t doing anything for love. (what i think they should’ve done is had it be related to danny somehow, especially bc they killed him off instead of having george clooney make a cameo for some reason). she’s done all this for money and self-satisfaction and revenge, which makes the emotional stakes more or less nonexistent.

we want danny’s heist to succeed because we know how much he loves tess and how desperately he wants her back. we’ve seen benedict treat her like shit and even though danny wasn’t the best husband, he obviously truly cares for her and is putting everything on the line to prove it.

the audience has no reason to cheer debbie and her team on aside from like... #girlpower. the rest of the ensemble is made up of pretty flat characters—which is fine, imo, as long as SOMEONE is the emotional backbone of the story. but in ocean’s 8, there’s none.

like honestly i think community’s ocean’s 11 homage episode does a better job of referencing the structure and style of ocean’s 11 while still rooting itself in its own unique pathos (the study group realizing the dean had been kidnapped bc they realized the real dean loved them and would never have expelled them, and subsequently planning their heist to rescue him (and greendale as a whole))

so ocean’s 8 feels like junk food. it’s flashy and fun and entertaining to watch, but there’s no heart. there’s no reason to root for the protagonist and her team beyond the fact that...she’s the protagonist, and it’s her team. it’s empty calories.

#once again i am so sorry i really got carried away lsdfjsdkf #it's been one of those days!#megantheeface #answered

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a-crimson-lion · 4 years

Text

A Look At Bakudeku’s Development (Based On That One Instagram Post): A Photo-Narrative Analysis

Word Count: 4,287 (Yikes…)

[This got long. Like, REALLY long. Don't expect too many colors. There's a lot to get through...]

For those out of the loop, I recently came across this Instagram post during unhealthy hours in the morning. The purpose of this post, I’d assume, was to debunk any negativity aimed at the Bakudeku dynamic/ship, claiming it was indeed not abusive and that the antis in question are ignoring canon in favor of playing Bakugo’s suicide instigation on repeat. Before addressing the post in question, I would like to state two things:

I am not stuck on Chapter/Episode 1 in the series. I have been caught up proper with every story arc up to the JT Training Arc and am roughly familiar with everything past that point. I don’t just take Katsuki’s now essentially forgotten suicide instigation into account; I’m taking every part of his actions well beyond that moment and how they reflect on him, internally justified or otherwise.

While I’m among the people who believe that Bakudeku as of the latest incarnation of the manga (up to Ch. 280) is indeed abusive, I am open to discussions on why it is not. In any case, however, I cannot ignore the fact that the dynamic/ship is incredibly problematic besides the skeletons in both Izuku and Katsuki’s closets.

So, in order to address this issue to the best of my half-awake brain’s abilities, I will review the screenshots within said post and break down how they factor into the Bakudeku dynamic and the overall development. Be aware that there are some manga and movie spoilers, and this is just MY OPINION. I could be wrong, and I’m okay with that. If you wanna talk without patronizing me, the comments are open. I also apologize in advance if I myself come of as patronizing. All the screenshots I’ll be discussing can be found in the video link above (or here).

Well then, no point in beating around the bush...

1) Izuku Taking Katsuki Out Of The Final Exam Gate (Anime Screenshot)

The first piece of “evidence” used to show the merit of Bakudeku comes from the Final Exam arc, shortly after Katsuki succumbs to All Might’s assault, only for Izuku to come in and deck the #1 Hero in order to grab Katsuki and carry him to safety, allowing them both to pass.

However, this photo marks a recurring trend throughout some of the other photos: they speak more about IZUKU as a character than Izuku AND Katsuki.

Izuku getting to save Katsuki is a major development… for Izuku. One that we’ve seen before. Think about it. The first time Izuku saves Katsuki towards the beginning of the exam, he has to punch Katsuki in the face because he was considering throwing the match just for working with Izuku. And after he’s been saved, Katsuki blows up (figuratively and literally) before aggressively kabedoning him. In this scene though? Katsuki got knocked the f*** out, so he really has no room to protest if Izuku comes in to save him a second time.

Plus, this isn’t really anything NEW with Izuku. We know that he’s aware in an abstract sense that what Katsuki did to him was “wrong,” but he doesn’t hold a grudge or any animosity to him towards that. He’s one of Katsuki’s biggest defenders and supporters, assuming Katsuki allows it. So really, him saving Katsuki isn’t really surprising or a major step forward, ‘cause he was always willing to do it from the get go. And again, Katsuki isn’t conscious during his second rescue, so we don’t really know if he would have let Izuku save him again or if he would have protested.

There’s nothing new here, and nothing balanced to the overall dynamic. Just Izuku being Izuku.

2) All Might Acknowledges The New Bakudeku Rivalry (Anime Screenshot)

Deku vs Kacchan 2 was a big moment for the Bakudeku dynamic. I’m not saying it’s a positive moment, nor am I saying it was necessary, but it was big. And in the aftermath of that fight, where Izuku and Katsuki are having a back and forth, All Might thinks to himself that the two have become true rivals now, or something along those lines. And it’s nice that he’s willing to spell this out for the audience and all, but uh…

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: show, don’t tell.

All Might is essentially telling us that Izuku and Katsuki are rivals now. What does the story have to show for it? A brief conversation during their house arrest, followed by a massive stall due to the Shie Hassaikai Arc and Cultural Festival Arc (albeit with one more instance we’ll cover later), and then what essentially equates to Katsuki yelling at Izuku a lot during the Joint Training Arc.

...that’s ...not much.

And yeah, you could expect me to be a good bean to the author and wait until the later arcs, but even then, the execution… just falls kinda flat, at least for me. Going back to that particular moment with All Might’s thought process, it kind of reminds me of Eraserhead essentially acting as a mouthpiece for the Ochako vs Katsuki fight during the Sports Festival, but that’s a can of worms I won’t be indulging today.

What I’m getting at is this: All Might letting the audience know that Bakudeku have reached rival status is great! Now if only the series could deliver more on that...

3) Standing With Two One For Alls (Heroes Rising)

Okay, seriously, if you haven’t seen Heroes Rising yet, I implore you, GO. WATCH IT. It is an incredible film and I would recommend it with warm words. And I’ll admit, it gives us a better incarnation of Bakudeku compared to the rest of the series.

Yes, I said “better,” not “great.”

Look, I’m all for Izuku and Katsuki working past their differences and the clusterf*** that was their childhood, and maybe Horikoshi not being as integrally involved with the film’s writing as people think he is has something to do with it, but uh… you do not say “put myself as low as to working with Deku” or something like that and expect to be casually tossed aside, at least if you’re me. And while I’m glad there was some genuine emotional tension as Izuku gave Katsuki OFA, some part about it feels… off. Like, nothing was really truly resolved. Katsuki wasn’t given OFA as a sign of forgiveness, as an acknowledgement. Katsuki was given OFA because there was an AFO level villain about to wreck the place and kill some peeps and oh look, the narrative made it so that Katsuki was the only convenient holder around! It kinda stings when you look at it that way.

Not that it matters, because a big thing most people forget is that at the end of this movie, THE ENTIRE THING IS ESSENTIALLY SWIPED ACROSS THE DESK AND ON THE FLOOR. Even if it was going to have some level of effort towards the development of the dynamic, that effort is essentially GONE because Katsuki doesn’t remember SQUAT, and what happens to OFA after the fight is NEVER DISCUSSED. It’s just a hard reset, BOOM, back to normal. *Sigh*

Really, the whole double OFA thing was for convenience, less so for any emotional leveling up that could have been done. And even then, Izuku is still somehow the one putting more emotional input into the entire thing than Katsuki.

4) “I Thought You Were Gonna Get Ahead Of Me!” (Anime Screenshot)

Katsuki’s methods of motivation are… admittedly not for everyone. They seem to work fine for Izuku, as seen sometime after the Cultural Festival Arc, but again, that’s just Izuku. We know how he takes Katsuki’s words and turns it into motivation, but why does Katsuki bother at all?

Well, maybe this comes with desperately trying to find reasons to like a character but progressively despising him and his narrative placement more and more as time progresses, but here’s my angle on it: Katsuki just doesn’t want Izuku dragging his weight for nothing.

Keep in mind, we’re talking about the same Katsuki who held a grudge against Shoto for holding back during the Sports Festival. The same Katsuki who wanted the #1 Hero to go all out and would continuously press to fight him. The same Katsuki who wanted to fight a deadly villain even after being instructed to get back to camp for his own safety. The same Katsuki who challenged Izuku to a fight to finally determine where the gap was, and who was frustrated when he won because the power Izuku possessed was All Might’s, so clearly he shouldn’t have lost.

In short, Katsuki doesn’t like it when people don’t give it their all. And I believe it’s been stated once or twice that once Izuku makes One For All his own, there’s a good chance they’re gonna fight again. So it’s in Katsuki’s best interest to make sure Izuku isn’t half-assing anything, because he wants to prove he can beat Izuku at his best, thus proving that KATSUKI is the best.

So it’s less so for Izuku’s benefit as it is for Katsuki’s own.

5) One Giant Leap (Heroes Rising)

Arguably one of the best moments of the entire Heroes Rising film amongst the fandom is the big handhold scene between Katsuki and Izuku as they make a last gambit effort to take down Nine with two One for Alls. Admittedly this is one of the best if not the best moment throughout the entire progression of the Bakudeku dynamic thus far. I’ll give it that much.

...which makes it all the more frustrating because again: MIND. WIPE. The audience knows it happened, but in canon we never know if Izuku discusses it with Katsuki or if anyone else was aware of the moment in greater specificity. IT ESSENTIALLY NEVER HAPPENED, and I’m starting to legitimately wonder whether or not it was for the best...

6) Datte Atashi No Hero (Anime Screenshot)

First off: how? Second off: huh?

Believe me, the second ending of Season 3 is an absolute bop, don’t get me wrong, but uh… again, it provides NOTHING balanced for Bakudeku, once again relying on Izuku’s perspective on the entire matter. I once read an interesting meta about this ending and how it could be interpreted (take this with a grain of salt), but the biggest contender is that this is in fact Izuku’s fantasy. Think about it:

Izuku is a humble traveling warrior, with nothing to distinguish himself in his own opinion.

Ochako is a magician because she’s alien to Izuku, an unheard of phenomenon.

Tenya being a knight, Shoto being a prince, and Momo being a warrior princess all correlates to their high standings in society, heroic or otherwise.

The reason Katsuki is a barbarian king is because he’s familiar to Izuku in an ancient sense; he’s known him for a long time. The list goes on, but you get the jist.

With this in mind, it’s not difficult to understand that even Katsuki willing to work with Izuku would be another aspect of Izuku’s fantasy: to be able to stand beside his childhood friend once more. And remember the ending of that scene, when Izuku does that big sword slash? That’s him having fully mastered OFA. Both are things that could happen given the manga’s recent direction, but still have yet to happen because this is, again, a fantasy.

And apparently Datte Atatshi No Hero is a reflection on Izuku’s feelings towards Katsuki. Take that as you will, but again, this does not speak for Bakudeku as a whole. Just Izuku’s feelings on the matter.

7) Win to Save, Save to Win (Manga Screenshot)

Since I’ve already penned myself into a short story at this point, might as well take the time to look at this famous phrase from the story.

Personally, I consider it bulls***. It harms both characters overall; yes, I said both. It excuses Katsuki’s need to be a blunt powerhouse that only targets villains, and it redundantly demands Izuku do more of what he was already doing, albeit with less sympathy. I know it sounds corny to say saving is more important than winning, but in the heat of the moment, what gets to the civilians in danger more often? Seeing a guy in a cape deck the latest disaster right in front of them or from a distance? Or said cape guy risking life and limb making sure that this person gets to see life another day?

There’s no perfect answer to it, but that’s my stance.

And this quote, “Win to save, save to win,” justifies the one thing that keeps Katsuki from truly outgrowing his past: his need to be the best. If winning is on the same level then saving, and Izuku has an innate capacity to save, then that means it’s okay for Katsuki to have to win all the time, right?

No. It’s not. And that’s not speaking for all the “Gary Stu” crap, either.

Because being pressured into being the best is what caused Katsuki to hate any kindness offered to him by Izuku. The desire to be the best had him bully Izuku for a decade to ensure that Izuku remained the loser and Katsuki remained the winner. That desire characterizes arguably the worst aspects of Katsuki’s character, and those aspects aren’t gonna fly in the Pro Hero world. Because if Nana Shimura, Shota Aizawa, the Pussycats, Mirio, Sir Nighteye, and a handful of other incidents have taught us anything, it’s that even at their best efforts, heroes don’t win all the time.

Katsuki needs to learn this, or it will crush him in the long term. But he hasn’t. The narrative has kept letting him rack up wins, and his current actions in the manga were spurred on by the fact that he still has yet to truly take a loss.

Say what you will, but I don’t like this line. For what it says about Izuku or Katsuki.

8) The Only One Who Can Accept His Feelings… (Anime Screenshot)

Me @ #7: Wanna see me go off?

Me @ #8: Wanna see me do it again?

Izuku’s perspective on the entire Bakudeku situation is a major reason why most fans condone it. “Izuku doesn’t appear obviously bothered by Katsuki, so that clearly means it’s not abusive/problematic, so just shut up!” or something like that. Well, I’m no psychologist, so I won’t go into a spiel about people ignoring their pain for the sake of others or people trying to excuse others in order to place fault on themselves whether or not it be accurate.

Really, all I can say is that NONE OF THIS should be Izuku’s responsibility.

I’m not blaming this on Izuku because he hasn’t had actual friends or a healthy support system in a long while, but the fact that he decides to take on and enable Katsuki in his element just… doesn’t sit well with me. The logical conclusion would be talking, not throwing hands. I don’t care if they’re “distressed teenagers,” neither of them should be doing this, and Katsuki was fully aware that the teachers would stop them in the first place; that’s not simply adults meddling in what isn’t their business. Katsuki should have really figured out by now that maybe the best course of action is to actually vent to someone without blowing their face off, and I get that he’s absolute s*** at feelings, but really, that’s more of a red flag that he needs to actually get help. And if you think a little too hard on Izuku’s feelings of the matter, well…

Imagine being ostracized for so long that you lose all sense of self worth.

Imagine being told time and again that your worthless, which checks out for you because clearly if your worthless, the guy that enabled that mindset is obviously better than you, and he’s entitled to use you for his own ends.

That’s what I get from this scene.

And again, this is all from IZUKU at this point; virtually NOTHING from Katsuki.

9) Double Detroit Smash (Heroes Rising)

I’ve already said my piece about the film. At this point, it’s beating a dead horse with a stick. Moving on.

10) Word of God (Miscellaneous)

Here’s the thing about Word of God in fandom: the general consensus is that it’s nice to get confirmation from a credible source, but unless it is portrayed in canon, it’s just more words which may or may not be true.

In this case, Kohei Horikoshi, the mangaka for BNHA, is saying that eventually, Katsuki will have to apologize to Izuku. Eventually.

As in, it still hasn’t happened yet.

As in, Katsuki still has yet to decide that what he did in the past was wrong and he should try to fix it.

As in, it currently shows no bearing towards Katsuki’s current character nor the overall Bakudeku dynamic.

Sure, it MIGHT happen, but in another interview (or mayhaps it’s the same one), Horikoshi stated that Katsuki originally wasn’t intended to get as much screen time as he did. Both of these situations are different of course, but with the recent turbulence of the War Arc shaking up the manga, is it really so hard to believe that an apology might slip away from Katsuki’s thought process?

On the bright side, an apology could happen. But until it’s canon, then it’s only a possibility, and therefore can’t be used fully for the intended argument.

11) X-Catapult Handhold (Heroes Rising)

I bet some people working on the movie and some fans on the movie felt spoiled when they included not one, but two handholding scenes for Izuku and Katsuki.

And while the first handhold is certainly a marvel of battle tactics, again, there isn’t much else going on with it. Is it nice to see Katsuki working with Izuku again? Yes, but contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t go past that. Katsuki’s just willing to work with Izuku, full stop. He’d probably be willing to work with anyone because Nine is f***ing tank. And sure, getting a handhold tease is nice, but it’s only to facilitate Katsuki’s subsequent yeeting of Izuku at Nine in an attempt to do damage. Nothing more pressing about the circumstances of their past or anything like that.

12) A Bit of Advice (Anime Screenshot)

Look, this is one of the tamer, better looks at Izuku and Katsuki’s relationship. He’s willing to put his pride aside and give Izuku some advice. But remember what I said earlier in #4?

It’s not just to make sure Izuku gets better, but so Katsuki can feel like it’s a complete win when he beats his ass.

And if we take the line “It pisses me off” into account, we can look at that flaw from the same angle. Remember, Izuku has All Might’s power, the #1 Hero’s power. To Katsuki, that means he shouldn’t have the luxury of making mistakes. But Izuku does. He makes mistakes, and Katsuki sees them and he doesn’t get to exploit them. He still wins, but not because of those mistakes. And part of that pisses Katsuki off. Izuku shouldn’t get to slack. So, Katsuki gives him some advice. Advice that will no doubt help Izuku in the long run, for his (and Katuki’s) sakes. It’s a good outcome from a not very good reason...

13) Have You Made That Borrowed Power Your Own? (Manga Screenshot)

Yeah, no.

I don’t care if Izuku is used to this treatment, it still isn’t reinforcing an overall positive tone.

I don’t care if Katsuki acknowledges at some level that Izuku’s power is becoming his own, he still has the gall to say it was no wonder he passed BECAUSE of his power. Which may be true, but it’s not like Izuku was relying on it 100%, and lowkey comes off as Quirkist.

All it tells me is that Katsuki is starting to acknowledge Izuku, in the “gadfly I can’t get off my back” sort of way. Is this the “best development” y’all are rooting for? Basic acknowledgement of another human being?

14) Outta My Way Punk! (Manga Screenshot)

Katsuki reflexively tells Izuku to get out of his way.

Izuku is used to it, again, that does not excuse it.

Once again, Katsuki reverts back to his usual behavior instead of showing a more subtle approach to show the audience that maybe he’s changing beyond what a chorus of other characters saying “he’s changed!” has to offer.

...even if it’s not abusive, you can’t really say that’s a “good” relationship, either.

15) Blackwhip Training (Manga Screenshot)

Katsuki willing to train with Izuku to help him master his Quirk(s) is nice.

Still blatantly in his element with lots of needless yelling and dominance assertion, but still nice.

And keep in mind, right after it’s clear they aren’t getting anywhere and Izuku tries to rationalize it, Katsuki decides to dip seeing as it’s not worth his time anymore. And even before that, at least in my translation, Katsuki seems to be more interested in beating out Blackwhip instead of having Izuku get a handle on.

Again, maybe not abusive, but not exactly supportive, either.

16) ??? (Anime Screenshot)

I personally have no idea what they were going for with this screenshot, but if I had to guess, that’s after Katsuki gives Izuku an escape window whilst he faces off against All Might alone during their Final Exams.

While I understand that this is early on in their dynamic’s development, the fact still stands that Katsuki still wants to fight for fighting’s sake. He may have been willing to at least give Izuku a chance, but he still sees Izuku’s retreat as cowardly, even though it’s a perfectly valid way to pass the exam. He still just wants to fight.

There’s no mutuality in that sense.

17) Quote from Justin Briner (Miscellaneous)

I don’t have much of an opinion for Izuku’s English VA, but for what it’s worth, I think overall he’s a really cool dude. The same, however, cannot be said for his quote.

I can buy into Izuku wanting to get stronger because of Katsuki, since that is a major plot point. I can’t do the same for Katsuki seeing the good in people because we don’t ever see it, really? In fact, it’s more like people latch on to Katsuki and he just tolerates them until they’ve completely wormed their way into his life. There’s no scene where Katsuki considers someone a good person because of something Izuku did, or anything even vaguely along those lines, at least to my knowledge.

As for their relationship, there have been more downs than ups, and it isn’t relatable to me in the slightest. Maybe that’s just ‘cause I don’t get the overall appeal, but their friendship never really strikes me as a… well, friendship. You could argue that’s the point and that’s what makes them different and interesting, but I would much rather we see more concrete proof of their relationship being at more understandable highs and lows while actually demonstrating it was mutual.

But again. That’s just me.

18) Joint Training Pep Talk (Manga Screenshot)

I’m basically repeating myself at this point. Katsuki might be keeping tabs on Izuku, but again, it’s not entirely for Izuku’s benefit. He just wants to make sure his new “rival” (successor to the #1 Hero, I might add) isn’t dragging his feet through the mud and actually getting s*** done so their eventual third clash will actually be worth his time.

...this relationship is so one-sided in two entirely different ways, I swear.

19) Speaking With Kacchan So Naturally (Manga Screenshot)

Why are we congratulating Katsuki for adding one more person to his already (surprisingly) sizable tolerance pile?

Why are we congratulating Izuku for bridging a gap other people managed to cross with little to no effort even though he didn’t do anything wrong?

Izuku is essentially saying “Good job on me for finally getting the same treatment as everyone else from that one person after over ten years.” Good on him, but uh… that’s not exactly a landmark worth framing the way the fandom does...

The relationship might not be outright abusive, but HOO BOY the bar has never been set lower...

20) “You’ve got a good friend in him” (Manga Screenshot)

And finally, the pièce de résistance. Which is really more narrative mouthpiece-ing.

Even before that, Katsuki yet again can’t take a compliment from Izuku for whatever reason. Yet again, Izuku just shrugs off all of Katsuki’s discouragement, intentional or otherwise. And I love me some Dadmight as much as the next guy, but really, does he have a good grasp on relationships? His only friends in his life were David and Naomasa, and he’s been shown time and time again to not be the infallible man many think he is due to being the Symbol of Peace? But suddenly he goes “Bakudeku rights” and y’all jump on that with no room for argument?

Katsuki has yet to prove what All Might has been saying. Again, telling rather than showing, therefore removing the meaning from the entire thing. Unless Katsuki proves otherwise, I call bulls***.

-------------------------------------------------------

So, my final verdict? Bakudeku is fine. It’s just not as great as the rest of you are making it out to be. I’m not gonna dictate whatever you ship or what you enjoy, that’s not my place, but at least keep these perspectives in mind. You don’t have to believe them, but just… stay aware, y’know?

Alrighty, I’ve wasted enough of your time. If you’ve read it until the very end, then… thanks. Carry on.

-Crimson Lion (10 August 2020)

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