#i told her what days im available and FUCKING. NOTHING.
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I keep trying to make this post about how shitty the dissolving of a close personal friendship has been for me lately but I cannot form the words. It's all just absolute shit, do not recommend
#not knowing why its happening and being given morsels of hope for an actual human conversation that never comes into fruition#is probably the worst part. shes moving states and even with her still living in my town. i havent seen her in a year#she moves in 2 weeks and she semi recently told me we can talk or hang so i can say bye#i told her what days im available and FUCKING. NOTHING.#this is a person who knows me way too well to be going about things the way she is. closure is everything to me#at the end of the day. no one owes me anything. but at the same time. i want fucking answers for why ive been discarded#i feel completely stunted in my depression recovery and just. in general. i want to move on but i cant
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I just want to say, I'm so sorry that you guys are having to deal with this, I know how scary this can be, I know I wanted to just hear someone say that it's sucks you're dealing with this,
So Im sorry this is happening to you, it sucks, it's a shitty situation,
My anxiety is making it bigger than it is, but its truly fucking shitty.
One of the things that's eating at me is that, short of having enough money to simply buy a house in cash, these problems are not solved by throwing a wad of cash at it.
Because the problem with buying the house was not that I didn't HAVE enough (I did have enough, but to simply buy the house would deplete my entire savings and I would have no way of clawing out of that) it was that I didn't MAKE enough. So the solution to that problem is to get paid more. I have a raise coming in August, but theres two months in the summer where I make nothing. So I got a summer job for those two months and I did the bunny thing, but that's only 5K more than I made last year and I'd still be short about 10k to meet the barest minimum for an FHA loan, according to the guy I talked to on the phone.
Okay so Plan B was to find an apartment at a lower rate since the roommates are moving out soon. But every time I applied to an apartment I would either:
-get beat out by someone with a faster clicker and who doesnt need a cosigner
-would go to apply only to be told that there were no units available
-the scam alarms go off.
Clearly its just a bad time for me to move. So to save my mental health a little bit because looking on Zillow was turning into a form of self-harm, we decided to stay in the rental house we're currently in and hope that the month-to-month upcharge won't eat away at my savings.
But.
Our rental is through a property manager, which means that any communication to the landlord has to go through our agent who appears to have her own schedule. I asked her on March 30th for some options and after emailing her every day for the past week she called me back on April 19th with 'I'll have to ask the owners, I'll get back to you tomorrow.'
And then she didn't get back to me.
And that's what I've been writing to my senator about because fuck this shit.
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JOHN WICK 4 SPOILER ALERT?
Just me talking like a weirdo about how much I loved The Marchese as a character how it made me felt during the movie and my personal thoughts, nothing interesting to talk about the movie itself, so yeah, keep scrolling if u were searching for that!
(sorry the caps im just too happy and excited because today was such a great day) btw long writting
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SO
Today I watched JW 4 because YES, MARCHESE AND MY PERSONAL WANT TO WATCH ANY MOVIE HE CASTED FOR THEN, ME, TO MAKE MEMES ON MY HEAD ABOUT HIM WITH ANOTHER CHARACTER HE STARED IM HYPERFIXATED TO DEATH ON (you know who.) (Tho he wasn't the only reason because Keanu is always a massive W and I liked the trailer too)
And when I tell you:
That this man artistically slayed on every fucking scene
He was just so iconic at some point
Almost completely feelling like he was that character but with another charisma and attitude on obviously another universe, but aware and still having the little vibe
Im being extremely serious, no jokes there.
Everytime he spoke I couldn't help but love him as a character and the nostalgia he could bring me from that other character was just magical (not only with him, but with other of his characters as well)
(Very weird example) Its like- when you listen to a vocaloid song that isn't from Miku but if you close your eyes and remember her, you get happy because she's your hyperfixation and what you are listening is technically really related to your hyperfixation and you get hyped because of it
I also watched the movie on the spanish dub because there wasn't any English function available at the theatre, sounds irrelevant, right? Well what if I told you. That the dub actor for the Marchese.. was THE SAME VOICE ACTOR WHO DUBBED THAT OTHER CHARACTER???
I know he is not even a bit of related with Stephen's king universe and he's just a character from another franchise, but I still will get hyped for this and my dramatically mysterious AU scenarios
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#john wick 4#the marquis#john wick 4 spoilers#Marchese de Gramont#marchese#personal thoughts#my personal thoughts#btw I like his temper#some people (or just one) said he was like Roman godfrey but with bad French accent#I cant say anything about the accent because im not French and I watched it dubbed#BUT I DO CAN SAY THAT THE ROMAN GODFREY SHIT IS A LIE (Personal opinion dont mean to harass)#I mean- HE IS EVEN MORE LIKEABLE CHARISMATIC AND FUNNY THAN ROMAN#no joke#Tho im not saying this is his best character because we all know who that is but FOR ME he is a good massive W#marquis de gramont#bill skarsgard#bill skarsgård
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2020 Indy 500 Prank
Some pranks are done and forgotten almost instantly. Some become sagas, stretching out over days and weeks, past the actual race. Here is one of those.
The Indy 500 in 2020 was delayed until August due to the pandemic. But this did not deter the pranks from happening. The Off Track with Hinch and Rossi episode where this was discussed is not easily available anymore but it was a good listen.
August 19, 2020
Alex Rossi, despite having a bus, does not sleep at the track except for the night before the Indy 500 and perhaps the night before qualifying. He’s said he prefers to sleep in his bed at home. This fateful morning, he was sent a pic of his bus.
He went PitFit, the gym many drivers use, and immediately accused James Hinchcliffe of being involved, going so far as to demand Hinch’s phone so search his texts for evidence. He found nothing.
As per Hinch:
“I’m standing in the gym, minding my own business, and Alex walks up in right behind me, gets really close into my ear and just goes “You’re fucking dead,” said Hinchcliffe, who needed “the better part of an hour” to clear his name. His innocence sufficiently was proved after allowing Rossi to look at various text conversations with Andretti Autosport employees.
“He was like an angry girlfriend,” Hinchcliffe said with a laugh. “‘Show me your phone!'”
With Alex’s tweet, news of the prank had spread wide and far, and it was a huge topic of conversation, both online and in interviews at the track. With Hinch cleared, Conor Daly was the next prime suspect, along with Colton Herta. Alex told all of the crew members (and likely anyone else who would listen) that he suspected them. This caused Conor to panic and he called Colton, not knowing that Alex was with Colton and listening on speakerphone. The conversation went as follows.
"Aw dude, how'd he find out," Daly asked Herta. "He knows it was us."
"Yeah, man," Herta replied. "He came into the engineering room and he looked right at me and said he knew it was us. And I didn't know what to say."
"Well, did you tell him?" Daly asked Herta.
"Nah man," Herta said. "But I'm not a very good actor."
Alex, now knowing that Conor was his target, attempted to procure Conor’s keys.
Rossi learned Daly would be on a date that night but didn’t know the woman or have her number. They talked after he reached her via an Instagram direct message, but she was unable to find Daly’s keys.
So Rossi went to the restaurant where Daly and his date had dinner and received permission from the parking valet (who was a friend) to search Daly’s Tahoe — fruitlessly — for the keys.
Rossi later learned the keys were in Daly’s right front pocket.
“The moral of the story was I couldn’t get the bus keys,” Rossi said. “I did everything I possibly could and couldn’t make it work.”
Conor also hid his golf cart somewhere on the grounds of IMS, no doubt aided by his stepfather, track President, Doug Boles.
August 22, 2020
Alex attempted his revenge, aided by Colton. This also failed.
August 27, 2020.
Conor attempted to defend himself with this tweet.
Colton denied involvement...
and went on to threaten to release Conor’s phone number.
Someone else, in a tweet now deleted, DID release Conor’s phone number.
The next day, Tim Durham, producer of Off Track with Hinch and Rossi decided to join in, aided by others, releasing the first few numbers of Colton’s social security number. This was not as dire as it sounds as those numbers are based on location and year of birth and apply to millions of people and can be deduced by knowing those two pieces of information, which for Colton, is public knowledge. It’s the last few digits that are the true identifiers so Colton was never in any real danger of identity theft as Tim and the others likely did not even know the rest of the digits.
The prank faded into the mist at this point, nearly forgotten until 2022, when Alex finally got his revenge. But that is another story.
#indycar#indy 500#Indy 500 pranks#alexander rossi#conor daly#colton herta#That unnamed date wasn't trying hard enough to find the keys#just saying I would have found them
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im just glad i remembered to go over everything with my doctor this time. i mentioned the itching in my ears and she looked at them and said yeah they look runny but there's nothing indicating an ear infection, and it's probably allergies and linked to the sinus infection.
i updated her on finally getting the testing scheduled for the gut issues. she asked about the urology thing and i was like "i don't know because i emailed one of your girls with info from my insurance but it looks like the only other urologist around is also tied to [doctor that fired me] so i'm not going to be accepted there."
but i asked about a uro-gyn since most of my problems are related and i kind of hit a wall with the normal gyn because she kept defaulting to "that's urology". there are literally NO urologists around me.
the only issue is that the uro-gyn is in jax and i don't trust taking my car on the interstate or that far rn. i hope next week i can finally start getting the tires replaced on the car, and then after that get the inside work done for the a/c and such.
i just. thought it'd be pulling full time money by now and i'm not. i fucking. asked our scheduler "hey [store manager] and [my direct supervisor] told you i can come in and close any day of the week now right?" and she fucking said no.
no one told her i now have open availability and that i was trying to get more hours.
so what's the point of talking directly to the people in fucking charge lmao.
as now i'm just waiting to get this testing over with because i know the anesthesia is going to fuck me up for a few days and i took time off for it. by the time the testing is done and i'm back to work the schedule for the following few weeks should be out. i reminded our scheduler we'd been talking about me getting extra hours in bopus and that i'm still wanting to do that, so we'll see.
they just fired someone in there so there's a gap and i know they need coverage. i'm not expecting two of the people at the desk to last for much longer so i'm just :\
if nothing's changed once the end of feb/beginning of march schedules drop i'm gonna start looking at what else is hiring for full time closer. i don't WANT to because the other issue is the FMLA thing and if i can get full time where i'm at i'll meet the hours requirement in a few months versus having to wait over a year at a new place.
also for the most part i genuinely like where i'm at and the people i work with. but something has to give because i have expenses i can't keep putting off (the car) and i need to start pulling money so i can start saving to fucking move and get the fuck out of here.
i just feel like i'm spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere but it's a matter of solving these digestive issues. i've gone from eating one small meal a day to only being able to eat solid food every 3+ days. it's not sustainable.
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you said you had some stories about your ex you really wanted to tell? (if you’re comfortable with that, ofc- feel free to ignore this)
Edit: THIS IS LONG AS FUCK IM SO SORRY- don’t read unless you want trauma(?) dumping about my ex :) this was a straight up therapy session, I broke all the “don’t trauma dump on the internet” rule. I apologize. Still posting it tho. Good luck :)
👀 which ex- the one I was talking about was my most recent, our relationship lasted a year and a half, we met online and met about 8 months or so in our relationship maybe less, I saw her twice in a matter of a year and a half, both for a week at a time I stayed at her house on whatever break I had available at the time, I think it was fall break and winter. SO NOW THAT BACKGROUND IS OVER.
She had a HUGE issue with me going to school- like any time I talked about it she was mad, any time I talked about wanting to go to college she would try and convince me not to go saying it was useless and it would be idiotic to go because education doesn’t matter because you die either way. We didn’t have many issues (at least ones that were brought up at the time we dated) but this was one of them. Just… me going to school. When I would try talking about it she said VERBATIM “don’t talk about school it makes me sad.” Because she dropped out.
Another was me working. I started worked at 16 and I’m 18 now. 17 when we broke up. I started working and applying to jobs when we were dating, this was when we started to have issues. I’d text her at work, I’d call at school but it never seemed to be enough, she needed to have all of my time or it wasn’t enough. It was getting to the point when I would literally count the minutes of the day I had alone. I still remember. 10 in the morning, 7 when I walked to work, if she didn’t call, and maybe 15 minutes before she called when I got home. This wouldn’t of been an issue but whenever I wanted to go to a school event or work an extra hour or just go out with friends it became a fight and I isolated myself so bad that my friends legitimately held a literal intervention. Sat me down and told me something had to change because I wasn’t my self anymore.
The next thing was therapy. She had.. issues which I won’t share on the internet but they were major and she needed help, something I couldn’t provide her, that I was probably too young to handle at the time, honestly anyone would be too young to handle, including her. Anyway 💅🏻 there were always two sides, I didn’t have it bad enough to need therapy and I shouldn’t go and that she needed it for years and never got it and I just got it when I asked for it OR that I was bipolar and impulsive,m and “crazy” when I did stuff like dye my hair or hang out with friends.
Lol this is long as fuck I’m sorry-
When I tried to tell her that I was gender whatever the fuck I am. Basically tried telling her I wanted to buy a binder and she told me as soon as the words left my mouth that she just couldn’t handle that and it was too much for her.
There was other things like this, like I was expected to handle everything she threw at me and basically got into trouble when I couldn’t handle her breakdowns or mental issues and tried my best but didn’t know what to do, but she always told me my depression or anxiety was nothing and there was no reason for me to have them. And when she told me I didn’t have enough trauma, and then I told her more, she said it was too upsetting to hear.
Also I’m 99% sure she cheated on me. She definitely emotionally cheated on me but I think she also slept with someone else.
WHICH IS JUST A WHOLE OTHER STORY, should I tell it? Hmmmm? Ask me if you want me to share it idc I will. No filter. Not one.
She slept with someone else 12 hours after we broke up and then called me crying about how this other girl didn’t like her and how bipolar she must be because “how can you sleep with someone but not like them.” And how much she liked her and then I asked why the hell she was talking to me about this when we had JUST broken up. We broke up, I went to bed, got to work and she called me doing this- it was weird. She also stayed at her house for two or three days before this happened 🫠
Some other stuff that didn’t bother me as much is that she smoked and did drugs, she’s actually the one who introduced me to weed. But she did it in excess, like every 30 minutes she would get high, every few hours she would smoke a cigarette, every other night she would drink. Her and her friends would get smashed. She was 16-18 when I knew her.
ALSO WE WATCHED YOUNG ROYALS TOGETHER AFTER WE BROKE UP, I WATCHED IT LIKE FIVE TIMES BEFORE THAT BUT WE LIKED IT TOGETHER AND I HATE THAT.
she also texted me 6 months after we broke up saying I was a dumb bitch.
The funny part is my first girlfriend, my other ex, WAY WORSE 🥴
I have some wild ass hookup stories too. I’m bored and willing to share everything on the internet so WHY NOT-
I feel as if you were probably looking for fun light hearted stories- sorry anon! I think I have some if I look hard enough in my file cabinet brain!
#can you tell z is sleepy and bored as fuck#z needs to stop sharing their entire fucking business on the internet#enjoy my shitty ex#tw mention of depression#tw mention of just fucking shitty ex number 2
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Hi I was wondering if I could get a match up? I hope I give the right amount and the type of info that’s helpful I was hoping for the Batfam and/or the young justice team if you write for them as well. I’m a nonbinary Pansexual I use any pronoun but most use she/her or they/them. I’m an April Taurus so bill headed can be an understatement at times. When I want to do something or feel like something needs to be done I will not take no for an answer but that can also cause tunnel vision as well. I’m 5 foot 2 1/4 inches tall and I’m a tad on the chubby side but I also do weight training so I hope some it that is muscle. Some people think that since im on the shorter side my height will stop me from telling taller people who are being dicks to can it. But im not I will looking up at them look them dead in the the eyes and tell them to not fuck with me or anyone I care about or I will beat the shit out of you!!
When it comes to personality I’ve been told I’m quite eccentric loud and hard to miss. I’ve had several cases of people i didn’t know in high school coming up to me and use my name and talk to me even though I had no idea who they were. I do stand up for those who can’t I’ve got into a lot of fights at school for underclassmen especially those who were part of the LGBTQA+ community, I never pulled any punches I’d kick their ass I don’t care how big you are fuck that noise! Even though I’d beat the shit out of people that deserved it I did make it clear to others that I never had my phone on Do not disturb since I was always available to talk to people in crisis i didn’t care who it was or who they got my number from if you needed someone I’d be there no matter what hour of the day. I want to make sure people are comfortable around me so I do ask people to let me know if something I do or say bothers them so I can correct it accordingly. I unfortunately suffer from a handful of health issues both physically and mentally, mentally I have anxiety, paranoia, depression and bipolar disorder I’m on medication for all of them but I’m still working on those things. And physically I have an autoimmune disease as well as endometriosis and have gotten surgeries to hopefully help. But I do take time to write some of my stories as well as drawing/crafting. I’ve developed a strong love ans passion for cooking and baking always find and trying new recipes and fixing them here and there nothing makes me happier than seeing other enjoy my meals and desserts so I make plenty for others to have enough for left overs so people leave my place with full bellies and some grub for later!
Sorry if this is too much info or just flat out doesn’t help I appreciate you’re writing and I’m excited to see if who you’d match me with!
CONNER KENT
no because he would literally appreciate you so muchs like literally just your personality makes me automatically say him because it would be such a great paring. also he would always be down to help you with mental and physical things going on. he would admire you for how good you are to people but also always ready to kick ass.
i am literally so sorry this took so long i had long term covid and it really kicked my ass this summer. but i am much better now !!! always thank you for saying you appreciate my writing it means a lot !!!!
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I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF LIVING WITH MY MOM!!!! I'm in university and I work from home 3-5 out of 5 days of the week (i'm called to the office pretty randomly) for 6 hours, 8 hours when I have days off from school. obviously I can't afford to move out otherwise I already would have. today i broke down crying. i struggle with time management so bad bc i'm always exhausted, i have hashimoto's disease and i can totally be functional but i have little energy and if i don't manage it well i can end up virtually useless by a certain time of the day. last year i pretty much neglected my health entirely while working and studying: i wasn't sleeping or eating well, i was sedentary, etc. the last few weeks i've been finally FINALLY getting into a routine of excersising at home that works for me. today I put time aside during my lunch break to do a short but intense cardio workout I promised myself I would try to do at least once a week to see my endurance level. My mom calls me as I'm just starting out to tell me she "forgot" she ordered a package and it should be home in 10 minutes. I almost broke down fucking crying. I had to cut everything short and shower to be ready when the package got here. Of fucking course it was delayed so I wasted my break waiting for her package. I can't take it anymore, she always does this and I always tell her i have ZERO ISSUE if she wants me to recieve a package she orders, but to PLEASE check in on me so I can schedule my day around that, or so I can let her know if I'm not available. I have no problem waiting for a package or the plumber or whoever if I'm home but I need to KNOW. she always tells me 10 minutes before "oh btw i called a painter for the kitchen" or "i called a plumber for the bathroom". there was one time when i was SO exhausted after finishing an assignment from school, i had literally not slept for days and I had taken a vacation day from work so when i got home from class i could nap (i was at the level of exhaustion where i knew even if i napped i'd be tired enough to sleep well at night). as im finishing some chores and laying down on the couch she calls me like "oh btw i know i said the painters weren't coming today but i told them yes they can. they're on their way". She NEVER checks to see if i'm available and NEVER checks in on what's going on with me in work and school and basically assumes i'm just in the house all day doing nothing. i can't even go out for a walk or to get coffee during my break bc if i miss something she gets pissed at me and says i'm unreliable. i decided i'm moving out with a friend by the end of the year even if it's a one room apartment, because she won't change. she's grown and she has clearly communicated she does not give a shit about my time (we have discussed this multiple times and she's like yea yea okay i'll let you know and she doesn't change). i don't know how the fuck i'm going to move my desktop computer to wherever the fuck i move to (i don't have a laptop, cannot afford one if i want to move out soon, and i 100% need a computer for work and school) but i don't care. i'll figure something out.
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Saturday-long run-
My runs are getting longer and taking more time. An hour - i was running about 35 minutes. my music still will not play when im running. ive tried to figure it out to no avail. it's so frustrating. i'm left alone with my thoughts. my breathing- my shoe was making a weird noise today- and i had to blow my nose on a leaf... i forgot tissues again. i checked the temp before i headed out and it was 35-- warm.. hahahaha.. 45 is hot. 20's cold.. i thought of my uncle chuck today and how when i was little her taught me the right way to paint my finger nails. that was the type of kid i was- i didnt ask how to do things.. i just did them and figured it out.. from a very young age. there was no one paying much attention to me. my mom always said children should be seen and not heard.. i dont even think they saw me. i was a good kid.. i dont even know if my uncle chuck is still alive. i wish i cold thank him.. for seeing me and teaching me how to paint my nails.
i spent some time with Mads today. always a good time.. mostly always. she likes working 3rd shift.. so far.. next week will be the real test as she is scheduled like really overnight. i'm glad she is happy.. but ughh.. i feel better knowing she is home,safe with me at night. i really do not like her out all night. she said the people are weird. i am done Christmas shopping and looking forward to a relaxing day tomorrow and Monday- i'm working a few hours on xmas. today was a good day. i feel blessed- happy - peaceful- my car is acting weird again.. months and months of it running good and today the dash decides to light up. madison said something about aunt paula.. we started taking about paula and how she basically hated kevin.. i was telling madison how it was normalized- the brothers being assholes was normal.. ohh thats just the way they are.. im convinced paula is an abused person. without a doubt.. it brings up a lot of things for me. once you see the truth you cant unsee it- how is it that i spent over 20 years with someone and knew nothing about him. i dont think there is much to know- he was and is just a shell of a human. nothing real to get to know- he of course knew nothing about me- his made up version of who i was/am.. bipolar like her mother. i can hear him say it. i have come to terms with my role in michael and meghan's life. i'm sure there will be a time when the pain of what is brings me to my knees- again.. i dont know much about anything but i do know that the pain does stop and i am able to find my peace again. acceptance- how many times in my life have i wanted things to be different how many times? ive spend decades wishing things were different- things are the way they are. i think of madison and how she has handled things. i know it hurts her. i'm proud of how she's handled herself and the pain she feels. i hope Michael and Meghan can heal themselves and live with the decisions they have made. how can 1 man cause so much damage to so many people? if i didnt live it i wouldnt believe it.
Madisons friend was telling me how her family has needed a kitchen table for years. I told her that someday htey would get a kitchen table- it takes time- i waited over 20 years for a dining room table. sometimes it take time. I feel bad for her friend. its just a bad situation. the mom doesnt food shop.. there is never any food in the house. maddy's friend had to have her hours cut at work because her mom would get less welfare. how is anyone supposed to better themselves? an uphill battle for a young girl that already has years of trauma behind her. i thought about x today more than i have in a long long while.. maybe because of the conversations i had wiht madison.. he actually told my children i was a sex addict.. i wanted to have sex with my husband.. who the fuck tells their children that. its difficult to not blame yourself when the person you're married to doesnt want to have sex with you. there must be something wrong with me..
someday.. someday.. he will get what he deserves.. eventually, we all do.. tomorrow... run.. i need new sneakers. i'm running longer and my feet are swelling up. i'm not sure-i'm hoping its normal.. i'm gonna need to do something. i dont think ill be running 13 miles by spring. i finally figured out how to use my fitbit.. to actually track my run. hopefully i'll remember to use it tomorrow. i'm excited for tomorrow- tomorrow feels like Christmas to me. i heard someone say my name at work.. i actually said who called my name.. no one..
one of my co workers gave me a bottle of wine.. i gave it away. my mom asked me if i wanted a bottle of champagne wiht out even thinking i said no Mom i dont drink. she said oh good.. i do worry that in the dating world not drinking can be seen as a red flag.. i'm not dating but if i was.. if someone does think not drinking is a red flag,i guess they arent my person.. alcohol is actual poison.. i think not working out it a red flag so there's that.
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very fucked up that build-a-bear made my gift to my mom so hard to achieve. like okay
so my mama has this lavender-scented cat plush for her anxiety. she's very emotionally attached to it, very sentimental; she's had it for less than a year, but the lavender scent apparently helps her a lot
BUT it's rapidly lost its lavender scent (again. has had it for less than a year). she's tried essential lavender oils on it, she's tried lavender drawer-scent baggies, everything, she finds fault with every method she tries
so im like "well, one of my friends got a Toothless from HTTYD Build-A-Bear and got it scented in cotton candy. it apparently has kept its really strong scent, despite having gotten it before my mom got her cat." so i wanted to get her the "Lavender Scentiment" as its called, but i knew my mama would pout about having seam-rip and sew up her cat, esp if this was a process she would have to repeat. so, instead, i got a little build-a-bear "wristie", which is a plush item your build-a-bear can hold via whats basically a rubber-band; and it'll be easier to comvince her to seam-rip and sew up for a scentiment to go into a wristie than it will be her cat
now, i dont care about surprises, so i told her all this and she is excited, because it sounds more promising than anything she's tried
we figure out which wristie she wants (weirdly: a Girl Scout's cookie wristie. it barely even looks like a cookie. but okay.) and i go to buy it for her
now. i have assumed lavender would be a scent they'd have in-store because, y'know, it's a basic, common scent. buT NOPE. SHIT IS ONLINE ONLY
which is a problem because they only allow scentiments online to be sold if you also buy a bear. and even then, it cant be any bear; they have several that are off-limits for scents/sounds. so, after seeing all the plushes i would want, as well as ones my friends would want, are ones on the "do not customize with scents/sounds" list, i go "fuck it" and have to buy the cheapest bear they got to donate to Goodwill after i get the lavender scentiment out. so a $5 scentiment is now being purchased with a $14 bear and enough shipping/taxes to make the entire thing fucking $30. on top of the $8-or-less Girl Scout cookie wristie or whatever
"but shwarmi, why don't you just look online for someone selling the lavender scentiment from build-a-bear?" bECAUSE I DID, AND I FOUND NOTHING. AND I MEAN THAT: I FOUND NOTHING. i found the usual store scentiments (cotton candy, birthday cake, bubblegum, and strawberry), i found fucking pumpkin spice as a scentiment, i found fresh cut flowers scentiment, i even found scentiments that no longer are sold like peaches and blueberry and coffee and roses and whatnot. buT NO FUCKING LAVENDER, ANYWHERE. i checked google, ebay, amazon, depop, mercari, poshmark, and all that shit but NOPE. un-fucking-available
hence, me buying a $30-something bear i plan to donate to get my mama a lavender scentiment that should have only cost me $5 if the build-a-bear website was not cruel to me. like. what the fuck
also: i did this the day after fighting with my mom. we have been fighting for two days, a different fight each day (first day: how she always prioritizes my abusive father over her children. she refused to acknowledge her inaction/decision to stay with him impacted my pysche and sense of self-worth. second day: she accepts me using they/them but is pouting over using those pronouns in front of dad bc he will, guess what, be an abusive pill about it and she doesn't want to deal with that. that one, at least, we came to an understanding about where she will just have to deal with it). never say i dont love my mama, even when she fucking SUCKS. jfc. someone rich marry me and take me away from this bullshit, i would like to be pampered and prioritized for once please and thanks
#me#shwarmi#delete later#diary dump#i like my mom when i dont live with her. which. guess i now do. fuck. [song meme voice] taKE ME AWAAAYYYY A SECRET PLAAACE
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took two tabs of acid 12 hours ago and im still reeling. today has been a chaotic rollercoaster of laughter, tears, and anger—so much fucking anger.
i don't know how I would have managed to make it through the day if it weren't for the two people who understand me and see me and resonate with me the most. they grounded me. especially when i couldn't handle my trip going south when their shitty mom came home and fucked up the vibe.
anyway i wanna sort of get out what happened tonight in this post so i can essentially look back on it later 🤸🏽♀️
also, every one of our seven cats avoided me like the plague while tripping and that made me so fucking sad, until i realized i was probably freaking them out lmao which is understandable and if I were them I'd have told me to go fuck myself too tbh
ok so when i initially took the tabs, i was already twenty minutes into watching I Am a Hero which I lowkey was expecting to be horrific—boy was I fucking WRONG 🤡🤡🤡 this movie was too fucking funny FOR WHAT?
—had me crying about what I would do if the only foods available during the apocalypse were all the ones I hated (i would simply die bc ain't no way im eating eggs or pork or seafood like what kind of shit is that?? 😵🤮🤮) THEN I started thinking about the mfs who would get bit and not say anything! like BITCH HELLO????? WHY MUST WE SUFFER BC YOU WERE THE WEAK LIIINK???!! but then I was like lol same 🤭 bc fuck you lucky mfs. yeah, im butthurt and y'all ain't gon know until it's too late oop 💁🏽
there was also some weird "i shouldn't be a creep bc she's a high schooler and it's a crime" type moment which led to me giggling about how Hideo really almost became a meal for copping a feel??? idk shit was funny in the moment really and hearing HOW the girl got bit before all that, made it so much funnier (spoiler: it was by some stupid baby lol what a loser. to get turned by someone with six baby teeth lmfaoo couldn't be me. anyway...)
there's only one zombie I have to talk about—THAT FUCKING ATHLETIC ONE. bitch ain't no way mans was training that entire time for that fucking hard, and no one put it together???!?! I saw dude's caved in head and how he would THROW HIMSELF onto his head FOR FUN and I just KNEW we needed to keep an eye on that mf. he killed that shit tbh 🤣🤣
anyway by the end of the movie i had already cried twice about having to eat eggs if zombies were running rampant lmao and i damn near had a stroke laughing at ol girl becoming half a zombie bc of the six baby teeth that scraped the back of her neck. LIKE????? idk. fortunately, 10/10 recommend watching on acid / would do again! maybe! 👉🏼👉🏼
*just gonna throw in here that we started watching Robin Hood Men in Tights immediately after this, and if you've seen that movie, you KNOW that shit was hilarious! throw in an acid trip and it's a fucking masterpiece 💀 unfortunately we didn't get through it all because shitty mom showed up and pissed everyone off bc she refused to eat anything all day and decided it would be everyone's problem! we made her food, she didn't eat it. her husband bought her food, she didn't eat it. instead, she cried about feeling nauseous, picked a fight with her husband over nothing, then told us she was leaving to her mom's house. 😐😐 After reassuring me they were ok, I made my siblings go to bed and spent two hours talking myself down I was so fucking livid. I'm still very much wide awake and functional, but I really don't want to be soo I'm going to force myself to crash I guess???
#shut up rae#dont do drugs kids#lmao#jk don't listen to me#do what you want#but be safe#or don't#i don't know nor give a fuck just do u bro#bro i love acid lmao#psychedelics make things better#ok its 7am i need to sleep omg#bye
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hiiiii!!
Can I please request a rafe x reader based on that song need to know by doja cat.
Basically the reader heard rumors about the rafe’s and he’s past with his ex. Basically all saying how he was a 10/10 on bed. The reader is furious but sad and quickly confronts the rafe. You can choose the ending. Smut or fluff ending!!
Also pls post the rafe x reader, jj fic with the 19 chapters plsssss!!!! I beg you!
Need To Know ; Rafe Cameron
masterlist
#Part 1
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader
Summary: The reader confronts Rafe about his past
Warnings: Straight smut, hella angst, substance, swearing, Rafe being a total dick
A/N: this one shot’s too long but i hope you will love it. i poured all my love into this however this isn’t my best work and im sorry!!
p.s, i’m always open for requests <3
“Hey! thanks for coming,” Topper smiled, hugging Rafe’s side before kissing (Y/N)’s cheeks. He ushered them both to the middle of the ongoing party, to the centre where all of Rafe’s friends were hanging out.
(Y/N) is never a fan of parties, especially the ones that she will have to tug on Rafe’s collars for them to finally enjoy the night alone. However, she passed up the chance of watching netflix with her partner tonight to go to Topper’s birthday party, since, it was, well, Topper’s celebration.
If it had not been for Topper, she wouldn’t even bat an eye to this party, especially when she knows the amount of girls silently crushing on her boyfriend of 6 months now. Rafe’s incredibly handsome, with his hair messily parted and his blue eyes shining everytime they’re exposed to the glowing sunlight of Obx. . . (Y/N) couldn’t justify why he would even choose her.
“What are you thinking?” Rafe playfully groaned, pulling his girlfriend’s waist near him. His fingers played with the hem of her dress, giggling when she hissed, swatting his hands away. “Seriously. You’ve been quiet since we got out of the car.”
“I just don’t like the attention’s you’re getting tonight,” she sighed, rolling her eyes when Rafe poked her, an amused expression plastered on his face. “I shouldn’t have told you that. Now you’re this proud prick.”
Rafe laughed, throwing his head back, his hands still around her waist. She waited for him to regain his posture before kissing his cheeks.
“Go and find Topper. I know you want to kiss him.”
“Not as much as I want to kiss you,” Rafe replied, laughing again when (Y/N) stuck her tongue out at him before walking away to go and get some drinks for herself. In truth, Rafe doesn’t understand why she would feel so inferior towards other girls; she’s simply the most beautiful girl he’ve ever laid his eyes on. No one can ever compare to (Y/N), and that’s for sure.
(Y/N) muttered a thanks when someone handed her a beer, standing on her toes to search for her friends. When she couldn’t see any of them, she began making her way towards Rafe and Topper. She decided that instead of waiting alone in the resting area of the club while everybody else is socialising, she would rather listen to whatever Rafe and his friends were conversing, knowing that somehow she’ll find something interesting in the discussion.
That was when she bumped into a figure, causing the person to drop the drink they were holding onto her front dress. (Y/N) groaned, not liking how she was already ruining the branded new dress she bought with Rafe. The smell of strong alcohol wafted into her nostrils, causing her to scrunch her nose.
“Watch where you’re going,” the person said, and (Y/N) rolled her eyes before finally leaving the scene, not wanting to stir any unnecessary drama. She knows it will always end up dirty and Rafe will have to calm her down in the car.
(Y/N) pushed her way through the swarm of sweaty bodies as the dress reeked with alcohol clung onto her body, and she momentarily regretted her choice of wearing a skin tight short sequin dress to a club where dropping drinks on someone is just something that is bound to happen.
She sighed when she finally reached the bathroom, quickly washing her stains with the cheap toilet paper. It left some white bits on her dress when she finally removed them, and she groaned again before washing the fabric under the running water. Her day was going totally bad, and she dreamed of the night she could’ve spent with Rafe if only Topper wasn’t born on yesterday’s date 19 years ago.
“That’s what I’m saying!” a loud voice shrieked, followed by group of shrill laughs. “God, I really wish I’m still with him.”
(Y/N) raised her brows at the familiar voice, but thought none of it. Topper wouldn’t invite Rafe’s ex, he knows what she did to him. There was no way she was allowed to be in the private part of the club, unless someone had brought her as their plus one.
(Y/N) shook her head at the thought, trying to focus on the stains that seemed to be making everything hard for her.
“He has this habit of running his fingers through his hair when he’s receiving head,” the voice continued, and (Y/N) stopped in her tracks.
That’s exactly Rafe. Whoever the voice was, she was talking about Rafe. Rafe has this habit of running his long fingers through his hair while he’s whimpering, and it always drives (Y/N) crazy.
She thought nothing of it, thinking about the possibility of another guy doing the same thing. It’s a common thing anyways; she wasn’t going to pull the crazy jealous girlfriend card that night.
She turned to pull another tissue paper, her ears still intently listening to the group of friends who seemed to not mind receiving any attention from their bold topic.
“Now he’s with that (Y/L/N) girl. I honestly don’t get why he would be with her. Oh and-” the voice squealed, “Do you know that Rafe called me when they were talking?”
What?
“What?” her friends asked in disbelief, and (Y/N) didn’t move a muscle. She pressed her back against the tiled walls, listening close. Her heartbeat beat faster, and she could feel her head getting lighter.
“Yes! It was like, the first month they started getting close? He told me he couldn’t get over me and that he tried everything including finding me in her.”
(Y/N) felt the walls closing in, and quickly got to her feet to splash some water onto her face. She felt like dying right then and right there, but she knew she had to at least hear more to, now identified, Rafe’s ex girlfriend.
“He drove to my house and we just talked, you know. . . and then he told me something, and I refused. He got mad, I guess, and we fought like always, and he left me to be with that girl until today. Kinda sucks to be her, you know? Like the second choice kind of thing?” she continued, an amused tone lacing in her voice.
At that point, (Y/N) had heard enough. She walked towards the exit as fast as her heels could take her, not stopping to stay goodbye to her now approaching friends. She could feel her hot tears crashing down, but she didn’t feel like crying in the club and having random strangers coming up to her to soothe her down.
When the night breeze hit her square on the face as she finaly exited the suffocating club, she let out the hardest cry ever as she tried to find any available taxis through her tears. There were none, seeing that it was only 9 p.m. and people had just starting to arrive, so she decided to walk to nowhere until she finds any yellow vehicle.
“Hey, (Y/N)!” a voice called out from behind her, and she turned when a hand pulled her shoulder. “What the fuck? Are you okay? Where’s Rafe?”
“Kelce, I’m not feeling good. I just want to go home, okay? Please, oh my god. I can’t do this right now,” she cried, covering her eyes with her palm. Kelce pulled her into a side hug, allowing her tears on his new t-shirt. When she finally soothed down, he tried to find an answer in her face again.
“What happened?”
“I can’t tell you now, I just-” she took a deep breath, “I just can’t. Can you um, call a Uber for me, please? My phone’s with Rafe.”
“What? Why would your phone-” he sighed, taking out his own phone. “Borrow my phone. It’s safer this way. Call a Uber, get home, and don’t do anything stupid. Okay?”
(Y/N) nodded, kissing Kelce’s cheeks before ordering a Uber, waiting by the sidewalk impatiently. She was scared Rafe would come out to look for her, and she didn’t feel like talking to him.
She felt like shooting him in his ribs until he’s begging for her to stop.
When she got home, her fingers trembling and her dress now ruined, she stripped out of her clothes and got under her covers. Her mother tried asking her about why she had come home earlier than expected with a running mascara and a smudged lipstick, but decided to let it pass when she didn’t answer, knowing that something has indeed happened.
She felt like screaming. She had trusted him so much, and he was even the first guy to take her virginity. Now she felt disgusted, thinking about how she had allowed herself to the sweet words he had given her before.
She couldn’t ignore the memory of the night she first experienced sex with him, and the whole sweet care he had provided after.
It was Friday the 13th, and Rafe decided it will be a good night to watch some type of a horror movie. (Y/N) agreed, being a fan of horror, but until one point, she was bored with the super-slow plot and boring characters.
She played with Rafe’s fingers, intertwining them with hers, before she got an idea midway of the female character’s scream that echoed throughout her bedroom.
“Rafe,” she said, and Rafe hummed in response. His eyes were fixated to the screen, not paying any attention to her. She whined, “Rafe. . .”
“Yeah?” He finally looked down to her, and laughed when he saw the face she gave him. “What the hell is wrong with you? The best part’s coming up. Watch it, the guy’s going to- fuck.”
(Y/N) had slipped her hand into his basketball shorts, teasing the outline of his v-line. Rafe’s breath shuddered, and he grabbed her hands before things escalate.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He grunted.
“I just wanna try something,” she replied innocently, and Rafe swore he felt like his heart stopping right then and right there. She was that sweet girl, and he has never saw this side of her.
“Can I?” she asked, and with a tiny nod, she continued her movements as Rafe’s eyes stayed glued on the television screen, though his mind was already on cloud nine.
She was so good, and Rafe couldn’t explain the feeling inside of him when he watched her palmed him, her mouth slightly open and her hair falling down to her shoulders. Rafe felt like attacking every inch of her, wanting to give anything that she desired.
“Stop,” he said, closing his eyes. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum from just your hands.”
“I want you to,” she said, and Rafe cursed. He liked, scratch that, he loved and is obsessed with the way she did anything to him, with her innocent eyes and her teasing smile. He felt like fucking her numb every single time she purposely brushed her hands against his buldge in the restaurant or bumping her bottoms against him when playing golf.
And when she would deny her actions, god, he felt like giving his all to her until she couldn’t walk.
“Rafe,” she said again, with that gint in her eyes. She leaned onto him, and he shievered when he felt her lips brushing with his earlobes.
“I want you to fuck me.”
Rafe groaned, not wanting to look her in the eyes, afraid that he would do things he will regret the next morning. He felt her fingers around his chin, forcing him to look at her.
“Please.”
“You told me you wanted to wait,” he said softly.
“I’m done waiting,” she had said, and that was enough for Rafe to crash his lips against her soft ones, pushing her lightly to her queen sized bed. He felt her hands playing with the hem of his shorts, and being an impatience fuck like his dad, he guided her hands to his already hard penis, craving for her touch.
“Fuck,” he groaned, closing his eyes to the euphoric feeling starting to form in the pit of his stomach. His fingers fumbled with her shorts, trying to untie the waistband, and grunted when he couldn’t gues the knot.
(Y/N) giggled, untying the ribbon, sliding her shorts to the edge of her bed as Rafe waited with his eyes staring at her hands eagerly, like a prey waiting to attack.
Once her shorts were off, Rafe didn’t waste anymore time to place kisses from her stomach down to the sides of her aching core. (Y/N) couldn’t take it anymore, after so many nights of trying to picture this exact moment in her head whilst fingering herself, pretending like it has been Rafe’s fingers instead of herself, she wanted to feel him around her so bad.
“Please, Rafe,” she begged, looking at him with the innocent eyes again. She moaned when he inserted his fingers in her, pleasuring her the way pornstars would from the many porn videos his cousin had taught him to watch since he was 10 before.
“Oh my god,” she screamed, not able to comprehend the strange feeling in her stomach. She tried to close her legs, only for Rafe to gripped them apart tightly, his eyebrows furrowing.
“Do that again and I’ll leave you hanging.”
It was the way he had said that that left (Y/N) all red, pushing herself against him to reach her end. She felt a sudden feeling approaching, and gripped Rafe’s wrist to tell him.
Rafe laughed when she had came around his dingers, feeling her juice soaking up his fingers and her bedsheet. (Y/N) sighed, still heaving from her high, making a mental note in her head to love this other side of Rafe Cameron.
“Suck,” he said, placing his two soaked fingers in front of her face and watched her as she sucked on them like a little girl who’s licking off a lollipop that her mother had bought for her. He felt like cumming just from the sight of her face.
“I want you inside me,” she had said again, and Rafe groaned to look away, not wanting to be a regret she had made the next morning. He looked at her again when she sat on his lap, looking at him with puppy dog eyes.
“Please?” she whispered, and before he knew it, she licked his ear to the the side of his lip before placing a soft peck on his lips.
Rafe has never removed his basketball shorts as fast as he did that night, not even when he had felt an animal crawling in his pants in the pet shop when he was 8 that resulted Sarah into having a laughing fit when they found out that a hamster had gotten into his pants.
He positioned himself in front of her slit, waiting for any new demands for him to stop now that she had changed her mind. But there was nothing, only (Y/N) demanding for him, and without wasting any more time, he slowly slided into her, strecthing her hole.
He grunted when she felt her closing in, knowing that if she kept doing that, he’ll finish straight away. (Y/N) screamed as he fucked her with a quick pace, causing him to quickly pull her head close to him to whisper into her ear.
“Shut up, princess. Don’t want mummy and daddy to wake up, do we?”
(Y/N) shook her head, wanting to reach her end soon. She moaned against her mattress, smelling Rafe’s scent from it, and liking the way he would whimper when he hit her g-spot.
“I’m so close, baby, fuck-” he cursed, his pace getting sloppier. His fingers with his cold rings intertwined with hers as he slammed into her for good measure, and pulling out to aim on her face as she tried to regain her breath.
(Y/N) felt a shot of hot load landing on her face as she finally looked up to him, his sweaty chest heaving from the ungodly practice they just did. Rafe groaned, feeling himself getting hard again from the sight of her with his load all over her, and quickly turned away to grab a clean towel to clean her up.
That night, with a soft lullaby playing from (Y/N)’s record player that Rafe had bought for her in Italy, he ran his fingers through her hair as she snuggled close, watching the moonlight brightened the ocean.
Rafe sighed, now wrapping his arms around her, forcing himself to not touch her breast in any way. “I’m sorry if it wasn’t what you had pictured in your mind.”
“Are you kidding?” she turned to face him, “God, Rafe. That’s exactly how I wanted it with you.”
Rafe chuckled and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, “God. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Riing! Riing!
(Y/N) wiped her tears with her fingers before pressing on the green button, bringing the phone to her ears when she saw Topper’s name. She decided that he deserved an explanation after she had ran off from his birthday party.
“Tops?”
“Hey, baby, you didn’t pick up my call. I have to use Topper’s phone but, um-” (Y/N) heard the crowd sang happy birthday, “But um, are you okay? Kelce told me you were crying and I-”
“I’m fine. You should sing happy birthday to Topper.”
“I’ll be there in a bit,” he said to a voice in the background, and tried to talk to her again. “What is it, baby? The line’s kinda shitty here. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Okay. I know you’re not. Can you please tell me what happened?”
“It’s nothing, Rafe. Go and enjoy yourself.”
“God, (Y/N), don’t pull this shit on me,” he sighed, and she waited until the background noise lessen. “Okay, I’m at the smoking area. Can you please tell me what happened?”
“You used me.”
“I’m - what?” he asked, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I heard her talking about how you drove to see her and you told her that you tried finding her in me,” she finaly confessed, her voice breaking. A tear slowly rolled down her red cheeks and she quickly wiped them away.
“Baby, it’s not how it sounds like.”
“Then what is it?” she yelled, clutching onto Kelce’s phone like it was her life support. “Fuck, Rafe, I gave you my everything.”
“Baby, I swear, it’s just-”
(Y/N) waited for him to finish his sentence, and sucked in a breath when she heard the voice that had caused her this misery.
“Rafe! What are you doing here?”
“Fuck, (Y/N), I’ll come by to your house, okay? Please, don’t do anything stupid, I’m coming back home-”
(Y/N) pressed the end call, letting go of the breath she was holding before finally throwing her head back against the pillow.
#Part 2
add yourself to the taglist!
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagines#rafe cameron x reader#rafe obx#rafe cameron smuts#outer banks#outerbanks#outerbanks imagines#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey smuts#outerbanks x reader
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Woah!!! Part 2 to Reader getting in an accident after an arguement with Gray???
{part 1}
there were many moments in grayson dolan’s 21 years on earth where he felt incredibly blessed to have a twin brother, especially one like ethan. from being his best friend and number one supporter in anything, to sharing food and girl advice, learning and growing together and being grayson’s right hand man through life, he had never been more grateful to have ethan by his side in this moment.
that and the fact ethan had purchases a car that can exceed a speed of up to 199.5 mph, meant they wasted no time in getting grayson to the hospital to be reunited with you.
as he sat in the passenger seat, legs bouncing uncontrollably with fear and anxiousness, tears softly rolling down his cheeks, he clutched tightly to the stuffed animal in his hands. a sight for anyone who would laugh at a 200 pound man, crying and cuddling a teddy.
petal, your stuffed elephant, was a childhood teddy your mother had given you the day you were born. you never slept without petal, she was a third wheel in your relationship with grayson as she offered you the same comfort he did every night being away from family home. home was anywhere grayson was, but petal was also a piece of the family you left behind when staffing a new life with the man you loved.
grayson knew you better than anyone and he could guarantee that when you woke up, because he wholeheartedly knew you were- his strong brave girl and you couldn't leave him- that petal would be the first thing you would want to see as much as his angel eyes. the stuffed animal also brought grayson a sense of comfort and reassurance having her with him.
grayson didn't even allow ethan the chance to drive into the car park of the emergency room before he was taking off and sprinting to the reception desk. teddy in hand as he panted out your first and last name. shocking the nurse at his panicked state, dishevelled appearance and the continuous fidgeting on the heels of his feet.
“y/n-y/n y/l/n… she’s in a coma. pleas-please i need to see her. she needs- she needs me.”
“may i ask your relationship to the patient?”
growing impatient, grayson raises his temper to the next level. the longer he was kept away from you, the more agitated he became.
“my girlfriend is fighting for her life right now! i need to see her, i don’t have time for this!”
“bro-” ethan came running in, throwing the tesla in the first available space before jogging after his fragile brother and coming to be the calm, sensible one in this situation. “let me handle it.”
reluctantly grayson stood off to the side, his ears perking and eyes desperately following every patient being rushed through the automatic doors, every doctor or nurse walking past him with sympathetic looks. he hoped someone would tell him what's going on and where you were. the waiting game was torture, but it was only just beginning. 
“they’re gonna take us to her now, c’mon.” ethan pulls grayson down the maze like corridors to where the receptionist who he had to apologise profusely for his twins attitude earlier, lead them to the room where apart of grayson was fighting for her life. fighting for his life. he was nothing without you.
ethan let grayson walk in first, accidentally colliding into the back of grayson as he stood frozen outside the door and mentally prepared himself for a sight he never wished to see. his breathing hitched as he took in the sight of you battered and braised. covered head to toe in a mixture of dirt, dried blood and bandages, as the only thing keeping you alive right now were the medical tubes swarming your precious body.
grayson felt his heart shatter into a million pieces inside him. he couldn’t help but feel tears well up in his eyes, imagining how bad your accident had been to the point where you were put into a coma and how he wasnt there to protect you like he has always promised. he pictured how scared you must have been, all alone and defenceless.
with rushed but easy strides, grayson was at your side before ethan even got the chance to thank the nurse and follow behind. not wanting to cause you any further pain or discomfort, grayson gently placed petal under your arm, keeping her close to your body and secure so you wouldn't lose her even in your unconscious state. with a shakey breath, he plants a soft kiss on yours then petals forehead, his own slient way of commciaing to you that he was there. that you had nothing to worry about because he was finally there to protect you.
“hey my sweet girl. im right here, im here and i love you. so much.”
“fight for me yeah? for us.”
grayson automatically took the seat next to your hospital bed, reaching forward to hold your hand kindly in his own as he vowed to himself he wouldn’t leave your beside until you woke up. no matter how long it was going to take. weeks, months, years, he was willing to wait for you.
grayson vividly remembered being told that the brain of a coma patient may continue to work. it might “hear” the sounds in the environment, like the footsteps of someone approaching or the voice of a loved one speaking. he made sure to continually talk to you about everything and anything on his mind. referencing back to the time you would take late night drives and talk about life hand in hand and contently in love.
when discussing your future together on a late night monty’s run, this definitely wasn’t how he envisioned it would turn out to be. what once was a shared dream, was now a shared nightmare.
“e’s here too.”
“hey squirt.” ethan felt stupid speaking aloud to someone who wouldn't respond to him, but the small smile it coaxed on grayson’s face, after hours of sadness, made it worth while. grayson always valued the sibling friendship you and ethan shared. he didn’t even pause for a minute to think about your accident had affected him also, until he hard the nickname ethan often uses to tease you.
swallowing the lump in his throat, grayson spoke up again.
“im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i meant nothing i said earlier, fuck im an idiot. i love you baby, always and forever.”
“we aren't going anywhere you hear me. you come back to us ok, show me those pretty eyes of yours baby. let me hear your laugh, let me see your smile, you gotta wake up for me- please wake up for me.”
grayson begged and pleaded with your unresponsive body. the sound of your heart rate monitor being the only sign you gave him as his eyes focused on your lifeless body. desperately hoping for so much as a flinch from you or a miracle to happen.
he caressed your hand slowly, continuing to cry silently as he looked over to you, feeling like this was all his fault. “i’m sorry” he choked out, resting his head down against the back of your hand. “this is all my fault. i’m so sorry baby.”
grayson wish you could say something back, even if it was to spite him and call him out for his outburst hours earlier. he just wanted to hear your voice again.
“grayson, none of this was your fault!” ethan was quick to jump to grayson’s defence, hating the way his brother was beating himself up over something that was out of his control. ethan feared how grayson would react if the worst case scenario of turning your life support machine off would happen. it didn’t bare to think about.
hearing a knock at the door, grayson wiped his tears quickly before turning to see the doctor was approaching grayson with a warm smile. grayson felt a sense of relief finally meeting the incredible man tasked with saving your life.
“here’s some personal belongings that they recovered at the scene. this seemed to be the only thing to survive the terrible ordeal.” he said, handing grayson an all to familiar box of the watch brand he had non stop being gushing about.
as the doctor made his swift exit, promising to return shortly and check on your progress, grayson opened the box to reveal the item that causes you to end up where you were right now. with no pieces of his heart left to break, grayson felt numb.
the engraving of the date grayson first told you he loves you, joined together by your pairing initials, elegantly graced the under face of the watch. he swapped his old one with the new, staring down at the jewellery on his wrist that held a brand new meaning from the simple pleasure of owning it, he planned to never take it off. 
everything seem to make sense now. the guy in the scandalous photo become Crystal clear as he recognised him to be the gentlemen from his brief encounter when trying to surprise ethan with a housewarming gift. much like what you were doing for grayson. he realised it now, when it was too late.
you never cheated on him. you never betrayed him. never used him. he discredited the great lengths you went to in order to surprise him with his dream watch. his own insecurities and the fact he was easily manipulated by twitter fingers and his so called fans, may be the reason you never wake up.
was this watch the only thing to survive the accident? grayson was about to find out.
{part 3}
#bubsdolan#grayson dolan#grayson#grayson dolan blurb#grayson blurb#grayson dolan imagine#grayson imagine#grayson dolan angst#grayson angst#grayson dolan concept#grayson concept#grayson dolan fanfic#grayson fanfic#grayson dolan fluff#grayson fluff#grayson dolan x reader#grayson x reader#dolan twins#dolan twins blurb#dolan twins concept#dolan twins imagine#dolan twins fluff#dolan twins angst#dolan twins x reader#dolan twins fanfic
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Do You Trust Me?
Pairing: Arvin Russel x Reader
Summary: When Lenora finds out she’s pregnant and another girl turns up pregnant and murdered, Arvin and Y/N take matters into their own hands.
Warnings: Violence, Murder, Sexual Assualt, Teen Pregnancy, Cursing, Mentions of Rape, Bullying, Dark Religious Themes, Talk of Abortion DO NOT READ IF THESE BOTHER YOU (Very similar things to the movie)
Word Count: 7000
A/N: So Lenora doesn’t die in this but that part is instead replaced by the Reaster girl being found dead (I named her Jeanette... I didn’t remember if they gave her a first name)
A/N 2: I know I’m writing characters that exist already but like I feel like I’m going to Hell for writing this. Any other Christians feel that way about liking the movie?
___________________________________
Secrets were hard to keep in such a small town as Coal Creek. Everyone knew everyone and if one person saw something, the whole town knew about it by next morning. That’s why Lenora had kept her secrets with Reverend Teagarden from all except you. Other than Arvin, you were her only friend in the world. It felt nice to have another girl to talk to because as much as she loved her brother, it was nothing like having a sister. Though you weren’t related, just friends from school, it was the closest thing she had.
The two of you had bonded over the harassment from boys at school. Unlike Lenora, you had no problem dishing back threats and abuse. You were more like Arvin in that sense, not always terrified that the Lord was going to smite you for defending yourself. You and Arvin were close too because of it.
The day you two met, he’d gone to pick Lenora up from school one day to find the two of you cornered out back by Dinwoodie and his boys. They called Lenora ugly, as per their daily routine, and said they wouldn’t fuck her with a bag on a her head. Tommy Matheson had a paper bag held over her face, holding her down while she squirmed.
“There ain’t nothing alive that would willingly let you touch them, Dinwoodie!” You spat while Orville Buckman held you back, his arms wrapped around your body, keeping your arms . pinned to your side, “You’re a vile thing. Hell, I’m sure a dead pig wouldn’t let you fuck it.”
Dinwoodie spun around and blew a hard smack across your face, “Lenora here ain’t much different than that. But you on the other hand, I’d take you whether you wanted it or not. I like a girl with a dirty mouth. And lucky you, I won’t make you wear the bag.”
He fisted your hair and pulled your face close to him, trying to force a kiss from you but spat in his face, a massive drip of saliva landing in his eyes and smaller particles spewed across his lips. “You nasty bi-” Gene Dinwoodie reared back, ready to hit you again when suddenly Arvin came out of nowhere, sending a solid blow straight into Gene’s face, sending him flying to the ground with a crack.
Orville let you go to go after Arvin and Tommy did the same to Lenora. You ran over to her and pulled the bag from her head, seeing evidence of her silent tears all over her face. Once you saw she was okay though, you ran over to help Arvin, who had found himself dragged to the ground by the three boys. Lenora got up too, screaming for them to stop.
“Stop!” You yelled, pulling at Gene’s arms to try and get him to stop kicking Arvin. He shoved you back harshly by the chest but you caught yourself, returning with a sharp blow to his face with your locked fist.
The enraged boy smacked you even harder than before, sending your ass to the ground with thud that you knew would leave a bruise. Your hands and knees got skinned up as you skid slightly on the pavement. Lenora kept pulling on the boys too, begging them to stop but to no avail.
“Ha, sister fucker!” The three of them called out to Arvin before leaving the three of you alone.
“Are you okay?” You asked the boy that you hadn’t met before, who was curled up in a ball on the ground and holding his stomach. He groaned in response, trying to push himself up but requiring your assistance. “Thank you for what you did back there. I’m sorry this happened.”
He stretched, flinching at the slight movement. He sent a small nod towards you but then turned towards Lenora, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, Lenora.” Words couldn’t describe the guilt he felt for allowing this to happen.
“It-it’s okay, Arvin. It wasn’t that bad this time. Y/N here took the brunt of it, unfortunately.” Lenora turned to you, “‘M sorry about that, by the way. You didn’t need to step in for me.”
You had stood up about the same time Arvin did, brushing as much of the dirt off your bleeding and scraped up knees as you could without flinching, “Those guys are ass holes, Lenora. I did need to.”
Lenora piped up, “Oh, um, Y/N, this is my brother Arvin. Arvin, this is Y/N. She just moved here.”
“It’s nice to meet ya.” You greeted the boy with a pained smile, your face hurting from the blows you’d just taken.
Arvin nodded, “You too.” He paused for a moment, “Can I give you a ride home? I don’t need them boys catching up with you again on the ride home. Besides, your face is getting mighty red. I might have something back at my house to keep it from bruising up too bad.”
You looked over at Lenora, sending her a questioning look, like asking if you could trust this boy who had just come to your rescue, which may have seemed like an odd inquiry to have since he just tried to take on the guys harassing you, but your encounters with boys in this town hadn’t gone all too well thus far. The girl looked unfazed though with almost a hint of excitement that you could possibly be going to her home.
“Um, yeah, I’d like that. Thank you.” You tucked a messy strand of hair behind your ear before looking back up at Arvin to see that he was already staring at you.
That was months ago. You’d gotten settled into Coal Creek by now and the abuse from Dinwoodie had stopped entirely after Arvin had gone full vigilante to beat the shit out of them all. Speaking of Arvin, the day he saved you and Lenora, he asked you on a date and the pair of you had been going steady ever since. If there was ever a couple to not be fucked with, the town had learned it was you two.
This weekend, you’d gone over to the Russel’s home for supper at their Grandma’s invitation. It was delicious, as usual, as that woman had the God-given ability to produce miracles in that kitchen. As you all finished up, Uncle Earskell asked Arvin to help with something upstairs so he left without a second thought to help his kin.
Lenora had been looking at you funny all night, as if trying to catch your eye. After helping Grandma (which she insisted you call her as well) clean up supper, Lenora pulled you off to the side, “Y/N, let’s go on a walk. I need to tell you something.”
The weight in her eyes told you how serious this was so you just nodded, “Yeah, yeah, of course. Let’s go.”
She grabbed a lantern on her way out the door and towards the barn. It was already dark, despite only being seven in the evening. Lenora led you out there and then closed the door before sitting on the hay. “So what is it?” You asked nervously. Normally, you would have made a joke but something told you that this wasn’t a joking matter. Anxiety buzzed all around her.
“Y’know the new pastor? Preston Teagarden?” Lenora began, wringing her hands together and beginning to hide under her long red hair.
You nodded, the question having an obvious answer as everyone, including your God fearing Mama and Aunt, went to church every Sunday. “What about ‘im?”
“Well… um… y’see. We… we had sex.” She whispered the last word like it was the dirtiest thing she could fathom saying.
Your eyes blew wide and your mouth dropped open, “You what?” You whispered back in shock.
“Shh!” She held her finger up to her lips, “He said that to bear yourself as God made his first children was to truly turn yourself to Him.”
You were having a difficult time processing this new information. Arvin and you had both agreed that there was something off about that new preacher since the first day you met him but you wouldn’t have guessed it was anything like this. “Lenora, that makes no sense. God sees everything. He’s already seen you in your birthday suit. He doesn’t need the preacher to see it too.”
Part of you felt bad for the way you were reacting, especially when you saw the way your best friend shrunk back a little in embarrassment. Clearly, he’d manipulated her into getting what he wanted, using her faith as a weapon for her sexual exploitation, but of course she didn’t see it like that because his words were specifically tailored to get her to believe him. Now as you said these things, though, it was becoming clearer to Lenora that she had been manipulated.
“That’s not all…” She continued.
You held her arm gently, “What is it?”
Her eyes got wide with fear, “You can’t tell anyone okay? You gotta promise.” Her hand covered yours, gripping tightly to ensure that you grasped the severity of the situation.
You swallowed hard, honestly scared by her reactions to whatever was happening. This wasn’t like sweet, simple, calm Lenora. Nonetheless, you nodded, “I promise.”
“I think I’m pregnant.”
You actually choked, “What? Are you sure?” This was bad. This was so bad.
Her eyes began to well up with guilty tears, “Yeah, I am. I was pretty sick a few weeks back. Couldn’t eat nothin’ cause I kept throwin’ up. And I haven’t had that time of the month in two months.”
“Two months, Lenora? Shit…” You whispered, leaning back against the hay. Even before moving to Coal Creek, you came from a small town in Pennsylvania where this had happened to a few girls. In fact, it wasn’t uncommon in that particular town. Your daddy had been a doctor before he died so you’d seen more than a few cases of teenage pregnancy. For Lenora, though, this was practically unheard of. Good Christian girls don’t have babies before marriage. “Did you tell ‘im?”
Lenora’s breath shook, “Yeah ‘nd he said I was crazy and delusional. Just imaginin’ things. Said we never did nothin’ in the car. Then he said that I had to get rid of the baby or I’d be branded as the town whore with a bastard son. Even said it’d kill Grandma from the shame of it all if anyone found out.”
“That is not true, Lenora. None of it. You’re not a whore and it would be best for everyone if that baby inside you was a bastard. That disgusting man isn’t fit to walk the Earth we live on, let alone be a father.” It felt like the blood was rushing through your veins with full force, internally panicking about the situation. This was a big deal and, unfortunately, you weren’t sure if Lenora was emotionally capable enough to handle it alone. She’d always been quiet and lonely and an easy target for cruel people. “Are you keepin’ it?”
Her breathing shuddered as if she’d started crying, “I can’t kill the baby inside me and go on livin’ with that. But I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared,Y/N.” Lenora threw her arms around you and you held her as her body rattled against yours.
“Shh, you got me, alright? Me and Arvin. And I’m sure Grandma wouldn’t be ashamed if she knew what Teagarden did to you.” You insisted but she shook her head.
“You must think I’m stupid for believin’ that man.” She sat up wiping her eyes with her sleeve.
“No! I do not think you’re stupid at all. That monster took advantage of you, told you things to make you believe that his dirty, lustful thoughts were vindicated by the Lord. And he’s going to fucking pay.” You were furious now as you began to stand up, unsure of exactly what you’d do but you knew you were gonna do it.
Lenora grabbed your arm and pulled you back down, “No! Wait! Please-”
“What’s going on here?” Arvin opened the door with a concerned face.
Both you and Lenora jumped at his sudden intrusion but were even more nervous about what he’d heard.
“How much did you hear?” Lenora asked her brother, rubbing her hands on her thighs.
He walked in and slammed the door shut behind him, kneeling down in front of you and his sister, “That someone took advantage of you and Y/N was gonna make ‘im pay. Now what happened? What’s going on?”
This was one of the things that you’d always loved about Arvin. He had this protective nature over what he loved, ready to do anything to keep his loved ones safe, whether that was his sister, his girlfriend, or his grandmother. His brown eyes held so much sincerity and understanding for his younger sister but also fear for what had been done to her.
When she didn’t respond right away, Arvin looked over to you with questioning desperate eyes but you chewed your lip, knowing that it wasn’t your secret to tell. Instead, you looked back over to Lenora sadly and nudged her slightly.
“C-can you say? Please? I don’t wanna say it again.” Lenora begged you quietly, avoiding eye contact with Arvin. Though you could never truly know she felt, you tried to understand all the emotions that must have been running through her.
Arvin met your eyes, begging you to tell him what had happened. “She’s pregnant. It’s that Reverend Teagarden’s baby. Said that he told her that the only way to get close to God was to show him her in the form of Adam and Eve. But now he’s saying that she’s delusional and that it’s not his.”
Arvin’s temper flamed inside his chest. That explained the Reverend’s intense sermon about delusion this last Sunday. Nobody did this to his sister and got away with it. “I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking ki-”
“Arvin please-” Lenora tried to calm him but it was a weak attempt, still trying to stay quiet so Grandma wouldn’t notice.
“No, I’ll end his life for what he did to you.”
You watched your boyfriend reel around, hands holding onto his hat. He was livid, understandably so.
Lenora wasn’t quite sure why she wanted to protect Preston Teagarden after what he’d done to her but she thinks it’s that she was more concerned for her brother. Besides, no matter what Teagarden had done, did he really deserve to die for it?
“We don’t have to hurt him,” You spoke to your boyfriend, “If she wants, she can just have the baby and we’ll help raise it.”
“But he said it’s not his and that I’ll just be considered some no-good whore. He said it’ll kill Grandma. I don’t want to kill Grandma.” She was almost crying again at the thought of their grandmother ending up six feet under because of the shame of having her as a granddaughter.
“He said that?!” Arvin nearly yelled.
“But what if he’s right?” Lenora thought out loud, “I couldn’t live with myself if I got rid of the baby but I can’t risk killing Grandma. Maybe it would be better if I were dead-”
“No!” You and Arvin both said firmly in unison. You held her hand tight and Arvin knelt down again.
He swiped his thumb comfortingly across the back of her hands, “Don’t you ever say that. We have both already lost too damn much to lose each other too, ya hear me?”
Lenora nodded, tears falling down her cheeks when she closed her eyes.
“Why can’t we just ruin him? You can have the baby and let everyone know what he did. Everyone will know that he’s the father and it’ll destroy his life.” Arvin suggested, all of the miserable ways this could end for the man twisting his heart in sadistic pleasure.
You shook your head though, “No, they won’t. It’s different for girls in small towns like this. Doesn’t matter what happened, you’re still the dirty no good whore, even if you were raped. The man is treated like a victim for even having the inkling of an accusation brought up.” After a few minutes, you suggested, “Why don’t we run off. We’ll all go to a new town, somewhere where nobody knows none of us. We’ll tell ‘em that your husband died in the war, leaving you with the baby. I’ll go with. I’ll help you raise it.”
She shook her head, “But what about Grandma and Uncle Earskell?” She did have a point. They were both getting on in age and would need more help than they already did.
You all sat in silence for a few moments, brainstorming ideas of what to do. Eventually, Arvin looked at his sister, “Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.”
The three of you went back to the house for the rest of the night, knowing that everyone would be getting suspicious if you were out any longer.
The three of you kept the secret quiet, barely even speaking about it to each other. You’d been doing as much research on babies in the libraries at school, which earned you quite a few disapproving looks from people who assumed that you and Arvin were expecting. You were serious when you said that you had every intention of helping Lenora and so was Arvin.
Weeks had gone by with relatively no news. Well, that’s what the town thought at least. After finding out about what the Reverend had done to Lenora, Arvin had told you about his plan to watch him.
The pair of you had spent several afternoons staked out near the church, watching as he went to the place of worship and then left at night. But then you started noticing a frequent visitor. Jeanette Reaster. The pair would drive off to a little secluded field and, sure enough, Teagarden would have his way with her. Though you couldn’t hear what was said, it was clear that they’d been praying beforehand before she submitted to him fully. Now, you knew Jeanette Reaster and, much like Lenora, she was the last person you’d imagine having premarital sex for the fear of being struck down by God. Whatever this man had said to them must have been real convincing.
“Piece of shit…” Arvin leaned forward against the steering wheel of his car while you sat beside him. You both watched on as the Reverend laid the girl down and began his assault of falsely “holy” acts.
For respect of Jeanette, you both looked away during the actual act but when you saw her ride off, Teagarden got out of his car, a bunch of fabric in his hands and sniffed them as he watched her. “That fucking perv. How does nobody know about this?” You asked, disgusted. Reaster was a good girl. She didn’t deserve this abuse.
“We know about it.” Arvin said, putting the car in reverse, “And that’s enough.”
Less than a week later, word got out that Jeanette Reaster had run off. Grandma had told Arvin and Lenora that her mother had said to her privately that Jeanette left a note saying that she was pregnant but the father refused to believe that he was the father. To spare her family the shame, she ran away and begged them to just say that they had no idea what had happened to her. That’s what her parents intended to do for their daughter’s sake but had entrusted Grandma with the secret just so they had somebody to talk to about it.
The day after she disappeared, they found her body on the side of the road just a few towns over. Nobody had any idea of what had happened except for you and Arvin. Both of you were convinced that Teagarden had murdered her to keep his secret from getting out.
The anger that was held between you and Arvin both was unparalleled. In part, you both felt partially responsible for her death. If only you’d said something, maybe you could have saved her. But neither of you even knew she was pregnant. That monster did to her exactly what he had probably planned to do to Lenora.
“We have to set things right.” Arvin said, sitting in his car one night with you in the woods, “That girl is dead and I can’t help but feel like it’s on me.” His head hung sadly, the weight of another death weighing on his heart.
You shifted sideways in the seat, your jeans rubbing against the vinyl car seats. You placed a hand gingerly on his cheek, “This is not your fault. This is the evil of a wicked man.”
“A girl is dead, Y/N. He got her pregnant and murdered her. He got Lenora pregnant and tried to convince her she was crazy. He’s taking advantage of innocent girls out here and then tying up the loose ends.” Arvin sat there, so much hurt behind his brown eyes. Then an idea dawned on him, “Do you trust me?”
The question took you off guard and it showed but you answered honestly, “Yes.”
**
Perhaps being quieter in church was for the best for this particular scenario. You’d never been as religious as the rest of your family or the rest of the town, for that matter. But this morning, you found yourself on your knees by your bedside. “Lord, please forgive the things that I am about to do. Please understand that I do this with the best intentions of protecting every other girl to cross paths with Preston Teagarden and to avenge the death of Jeanette Reaster. I pray that you please forgive Arvin as well as I know he is a man with nothing but good and love in his heart. In Jesus’ holy name, amen.”
Almost on cue, your mom knocked on the door to see you on your knees, “Arvin is out front waiting for you.” She announced with a warm smile, noticing your outfit, “You look nice, sweetie! Since when do you clean up all cute for that boy?” She teased, a loving smile on her face as you smoothed out your yellow dress that hung just below your knees. The sleeves were tight and went about halfway down your biceps. It was far from revealing with a neckline that stopped just below your collarbones but it still was tight enough to accentuate the shape of your concealed breasts. A brown belt was tied around your waist, showing off your figure.
“Yeah, well I figured that for once I might as well dress up and do something nice.” The lie slipped out smoothly despite the racing of your heart in your chest.
She pulled you in for a hug, “Well you tell Arvin that I want you back by nine tonight! I’ll be going over to Mrs. Hadderson’s for quilting today, just so you know, in case I’m not home when you get back.”
You picked up your bag and pulled her into a side hug, “Alright, Mama. Love you!” You hollered, running out the door. Arvin was dressed normally, just his blue jeans and t-shirt, but he still looked great as always.
When you slid into the passenger seat of his car, he perked up and looked over at you, “Not used to seeing you like this on any day but Sunday.” He attempted to joke but found it difficult considering what the two of you were planning on doing.
After driving a ways down the road, he asked, “Are you sure you want to be a part of this? Because I can drop you off with Lenora and I’ll take care of this myself.”
Looking over at him to see his eyes scanning your face for signs of hesitation, you placed your hand on his leg, “I’m not letting you do this alone.”
Not too deep down, Arvin felt terrible for allowing you to partake in this. Death had always seemed to follow him wherever he went; he didn’t want you to be stuck with the same curse. The two of you developed a plan but Arvin had created a backup just in case you decided you didn’t want to partake, not that he would blame you. He was terrified beyond belief himself but he’d decided that for the sake of every other girl in this town and any other one’s Teagarden had harmed in the past, he had to do this.
The only thing making him feel remotely at peace with your involvement was the fact that you weren’t actually doing the killing. You were the diversion, he was the trigger man. Arvin sighed, relenting to the fact that you were in on this, “Did you bring the rope?” He asked, eyes flicking over to you and your bag between glances at the road that moved beneath the wheels of his car.
You dug around in your little bag and pulled out a small length of rope, a weapon chosen for the lack of clean up. “Got it. You got the gun?”
Arvin pulled his denim jacket back just enough to show the handle of the Luger that once belonged to his father. This weapon was chosen for its reliability. Once you guys started, you had to finish otherwise he’d tell everyone.
Before you knew it, the tires were coming to a crunching halt on the rocky sideturn just around the corner from the church. A sudden wave of nausea came over you and you had to breathe deeply to settle it down. “You okay?” Arvin asked, reaching out for you.
You swallowed hard, “Yeah.” Sweat began to bead up on your brow as a million different images of what could happen in the next few minutes ran through your head.
Arvin watched as you zoned out on the dashboard and he knew exactly what was going on in your mind. It was the same inner conflict he’d had this morning before picking you up, when he first pocketed the gun. “Whatever happens today, I need you to know that I love you Y/N.”
You sucked a quick breath in. Neither of you had ever used the L-word before. Arvin was scared to because he’d lost so many people and the fewer people he loved, that fewer people he could lose. You had just never loved anyone romantically before and were too terrified that maybe you’d say it too early or think you felt it when you really didn’t. With Arvin, though, you knew it. “I love you too, Arvin.” You leaned forward and kissed him on the lips deeply, wanting nothing more than to stay against his skin for the rest of your lives. But, unfortunately, there was something you had to do first.
“Remember, just get him to bring you to the field. I will be there waiting. I won’t let anything happen to you, you hear?” Your faces were close together, so close your foreheads almost touched, as he went over the plan one last time, trying to make sure that you knew that you were safe as long as he was around.
“I know.” You gave him a small, reassuring smile, though it was far from a grin of actual happiness.
Arvin watched as you got out of the car, leaving the small bundle of rope behind, and walked down the dirt driveway to the church. You looked just like someone that pervert would fall head over heels for. There was an innocent sway to your hips and the way you held your bag close to your body screamed insecurity, but the kind of a young girl who doesn’t know how beautiful she is. The funny thing was that this wasn’t something totally out of character for you. Sure, you had a mouth and fist that could dish as much as it could take, and yeah, you and Arvin had been together for almost half a year, but there was still a youthful innocence to you. There was still a brightness in your eyes and a pep in your step, one that hadn’t been beat down by the tragedies of life yet. It was one of the things that Arvin found most attractive about you but it was also one of the things that Preston Teagard would as well.
The doors of the church were cracked open just slightly when you approached and you could see the Reverend sitting in the pews, reading his Bible, through the gap. Taking one less final deep breath, you pressed the door open and stepped in, the heels of your little white chucks padding against the hardwood. Teagard turned around at the sound, “Why, hello, there.” He greeted warmly. It disgusted you how this man could act no different after knowing what he’d just done but the worst monsters were human.
“Uh, hi there, Reverend. I’m sorry to bother but I just needed to talk to you about something.” You began, accentuated your Appalachian drawl while trying to make your voice sound as young and innocent as you could.
He patted the pew beside him, “Well, my child, you’ve come to the right place. That’s what I’m here for. Now, why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”
Skin crawling as you walked, you forced your feet to move towards the man and sit beside him. Right away, his arm stretched behind your shoulders as he sat uncomfortably close. At first, you avoided eye contact, “Well, um, you see, I’ve been… straying from the light and I really want to get right with God.”
This had to be the first truth you’d told anyone other than Arvin today. You felt too terrible lying in the presence of God so you’d found a way to genuinely get your feelings off your chest while still luring Teagarden into your trap.
He rubbed his chin and hummed, “The fact that you acknowledge this means you haven’t strayed too far. God always comes back to his flock, even to those little sheepies who’ve gone astray. Why don’t you tell me more.” He urged.
Your hands squeezed the strap of your bag tightly, “I… I have lustful thoughts sometimes.”
Preston was lucky he’d had a lot of practice concealing his emotions because he’d be lying if he said that those words didn’t stir something in him, “Now are these just thoughts or have you acted on them?”
“Oh, just thoughts, Reverend. I’ve never acted on any of them.” You reassured, finally meeting his eyes. They seemed to look at you with such understanding that you could see why Lenora and Jeanette had fallen for him.
He nodded in approval, “And who are these thoughts about?”
This was where you’d have to do a bit more lying, “I don’t really want to say.” You blushed bright red. You knew that Preston must have taken this as a sign that it was about him but it wasn’t. Your dirty thoughts never strayed from Arvin.
Preston looked away and then back down at you, “You’re going with that Russel boy, right?”
Silently, you nodded, not wanting to incriminate your boyfriend too much in this process of confession.
“Has he ever touched you?” Preston pressed, his body getting closer to yours inch by inch until your legs were nearly touching.
The red in your cheeks wasn’t part of the act anymore but genuine. You shook your head, “No, never.” You felt almost panicked at the question.
“Have you ever touched yourself to these thoughts?” His voice became slower, more cautious as his inquiries got riskier and riskier.
You found yourself unable to maintain eye contact with him anymore and looked back down at your shoes instead, just shaking your head, “No, I feel too weird. Like it’s a violation or somethin’.”
Preston looked away, as if considering something, before turning back to you, “Can I show you some place? I find it helps me feel closer to God when I feel like I’m goin’ astray. Perhaps I could help.”
Hook and sink. He’d fallen right into the trap. With a shy nod, you agreed sweetly, “Yeah, yeah, I’d like that. Is it far?”
Teagard shook his head, “Oh no, not too far at all. But I’ll drive so we don’t have to walk.”
Getting him to drive you to the spot was just as easy as you imagined it would be. With a quick glance in the rear view mirror, you noticed a car in the far distance behind you that you immediately recognized as Arvin following. Preston’s car came to a stop in the same field you’d seen him take Jeanette Reaster to a few weeks ago, facing the woods ahead.
It really was quite peaceful and would have been a pretty sight if you weren’t with a sexual predator. Again, his arm slid around your shoulders and you breathed in deeply, the intense sexual tension making you uncomfortable even though you had every intention of finishing him off before he even got a hand up your skirt.
“You said that Russel boy has never touched you. Have you ever shown him yourself?” The fact that this man had the nerve to ask you such questions disgusted you beyond belief but you kept up the facade.
“Like naked?” You clarified, seeing him nod, “No, not naked. We went to the lake one time so he saw me in my bathing suit then but that’s not exactly the same thing.”
Preston chuckled at your naivety, “No, no, not the same thing at all. You know how you’re supposed to save yourself for marriage to be right with the Lord. But there is nothing that brings you closer back to our heavenly father than to be as Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, the garden of pure paradise.”
“How is that so?” You cranked up the childlike inquisitive nature as you looked up at him with big doe eyes.
Preston had to fight the urge to take you here and now, looking at you like this, but he remained strong for the sake of the process. “They were made in his image. We all were but they were his original children. The pure, unaltered image of God himself, before the sin of man tainted it all. By showing yourself in your pure, unaltered image, you bring yourself closer to the light.”
Your brows furrowed, “But didn’t you just say that premarital sex is a sin?” This may have been jeopardizing your mission but you felt inclined to point out the hypocrisy before you offed the man.
He nodded, chest falling and rising with a heavy sigh, “It depends on who you’re with. I’m a man of God myself and I like to model myself after Jesus. I’d like to think that makes me an extension of His love and power and therefore an outlet for you to feel safe to do whatever you need to do in order to be right with Him.”
With a shaky breath, you bit your lip, “Alright. H-how do I-?”
Preston watched as you fiddled with the hem of your skirt and let his mind wander to what else those fingers might be good at. “First, let us pray.” He reached over and held your hand, “Lord, Y/N is showing herself to you. See her Lord, as you made her. She presents herself to you. Give her strength. Amen.”
“Amen.” You muttered after him, your fingers slowly going to unbutton your dress. This wasn’t how you’d imagined the first time a boy seeing you in your knickers going. In your mind, it had always been on a nice romantic evening with Arvin and a selfish part of you wanted it to stay that way but then you remembered why you were doing what you were doing and sucked down the reservations. At least you weren’t actually losing your virginity to the monster.
Nervous fingers fuddled with the button for just a moment too long and Teagarden twisted sideways, hands coming to cover yours, “May I?” He offered his assistance.
Your heart thumped so loud you could hear it but you nodded silently, letting your fingers fall onto your thighs. With deftly skilled fingers, he had your blouse unbuttoned before long and had pushed it off your shoulders. Your breath caught in your throat at this much exposure, your breasts just barely concealed under only the fabric of your bra. Lord, you prayed silently, please let this be over with quickly.
Your eyes slid closed, trying to imagine that it was Arvin touching you instead of Preston Teagarden but then the mere thought of comparing the two made you sick to your stomach. They were nothing alike.
A set of chapped lips kissed your forehead gently, then your cheek, and then, finally, your lips. At first, you drew back, but still kept your eyes closed, trying to mask the disgust with untouched hesitance. You forced your body to relax again and Preston took that as a cue to continue with what he was doing, his lips returning to yours.
Wasting no time, he’d crawled over you until your back was flush against the seat. You placed your hands awkwardly and haphazardly on Preston’s shoulder’s, trying to feign inexperienced confusion. You and Arvin may not have ever gone all the way, but you’d at least gone this far.
Preston’s lips moved down your neck and your breath got caught in your throat. As much as you hated it, he knew what he was doing. This man knew all the right buttons to push to make a nervous girl submit to his every desire and, though you were well aware of the game he was playing and had zero attraction to him, the physical reactions were almost impossible to stop. Your body shuddered when his stubble, something Arvin lacked, scratched the sensitive skin of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. Your eyes were open wide now, just waiting for your boyfriend to finally show up and save you from this situation.
Arvin approached the car and slowly and quietly as he could. The windows were up so it wasn’t too big an issue as long as he wasn’t clanging metal but he figured he didn’t want to take any chances. When approached the driver’s window, his heart wrenched and he immediately regretted putting you in this position.
Preston was on top of you, his hands roaming all around your semi-exposed chest. He knew that you’d never been exposed like that to anyone before and he suddenly felt sick with himself for allowing the first time to be with anyone beside him, let alone Preston fucking Teagard.
He expected to have to psych himself up for the actual kill, to have to convince himself to do it but when you locked eyes with him, a silent plea to get the man off of you, it came unnervingly natural. With the rope already wrapped around both of his fists, Arvin reached for the handle and threw the door open, looping the rope around Preston’s neck and dragging him back out of the car. Preston’s eyes were wide with shock and fear, “What the fuck?!” He hollered in fear, the words turning to gagging and choking. His hands grasped at the rope but Arvin had it pulled too tightly.
Preston’s body was kicking against the grass but his neck and head were pressed against Arvin’s chest, who was kneeling in the field.
“You really thought you could get away with what you did to my Lenora? To that poor Reaster girl you murdered? And then I bet you were willing to do the same to her over there too, huh?” He seethed, notioning over to you with a flick of his chin.
The reverend tried to say something, anything to defend himself or get himself out of this situation but Arvin never let up so the words came out as disgustingly graphic chokes. You crawled out of the car, not knowing what you could do to help or secure the situation but feeling useless now.
In a few minutes time, his lips had turned blue and the thrashing of his body had stopped. Arvin finally let up and the body slump into the grass. He crawled back and away from the man who had only moments ago been all over you, touching you.
That was when he remembered that you were there still. He’d gotten so blinded by rage that he almost blacked out, caught up in the task at hand. But when he looked up, his heart began to beat again and he stood up, rushing to you, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
Your face was pale and blank, almost as if you were in shock. Your top was still totally unbuttoned, white modest bra still exposed to the world but you didn’t look like you cared at all. If Arvin was being honest, this wasn’t how he’d pictured seeing you topless for the first time going. He always hoped it would be romantic and with more than enough time to compliment every inch of your perfect body. Instead, you looked scared and shocked and almost like you could be sick.
“Y/N?” He urged, coming stand between you and Preston’s body, attempting to break your view of it. He reached down and began to re-button your blouse for you.
“I’m fine,” You said flatly, only moving to look up at him, “Are you okay?”
With a glance down at his knuckles, the rope burn was clear to see, but Arvin had been through much worse, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m so sorry that I let him do that. This whole idea was stupid and now-”
“No,” You interrupted, finally snapping out of your shocked state and bringing your hands up to rest on his, which were on your chest now, “He can’t hurt anyone anymore.”
Arvin didn’t actually feel remorse for killing the man. The only thing he wanted was to take you back home, or rather far away, where there weren’t any reminders of today’s events. He wanted to show you how special you were, how much he loved you, and how brave he thought you were for being willing to be Teagarden’s last victim for the better good of the world.
#the devil all the time#tdalt#tdalt fics#arvin russell#arvin russel x reader#arvin russel imagines#do you trust me?#dark fics#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland one shot#tom holland x reader
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ilanga
(n.) a person who will forgive anything the first time, tolerate the second time but never a third time.
A/n: Inspired by my brainrot. Everything that is said in German will be translated and bolded.
Taglist: @shisoaya, @callmepromise, @namischild, @namrekcaivel, @icedkoffees, @erens-piss-cleaner, @sofi-yeager, @peachysimp, @fiaficsxo, @eremiie, @odmlevis, @weepinglevi
Summary: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction is what brought it back.
Content: dom and sub undertones, smut. nsfw minors dni
Trigger Warnings: manipulation, public sex, dacryphilia, branding, cigarettes, dedegration, slapping.
Word Count: 2241
Forgive anything the first time.
“Jean how many times do I have to tell you, Y/n isn’t allowed to drink.” Eren says staring daggers at him.
“And why the hell shouldn’t she? Just because you’re her boyfriend doesn’t mean you can tell her what she can’t and can do it’s a fucking party for god sakes Jaeger.”
“Ja, warum kann ich nicht etwas trinken Eren?” You say standing behind Jean. with big glassy doe eyes.
“Yeah why cant I have a drink Eren?”
Eren ignores you. Knowing that this is your first strike.
“You know what fuck you Jean, and fuck this party. I’m going home.”
Ignoring whatever else Jean has to say Eren pulls you towards him and whispers.
“Dies ist dein erster Schlag, also viel Spaß Prinzessin”
“This is your first strike so have fun princess.”
Ah there it is, his dominance.
One of the many things that ran straight to your core. Making you clench your legs, one of the many things to love about Eren Jaeger.
Even if you manipulated him time to time you would always be running back to him like a lost puppy trying to find it’s lost owner.
“Jean I’m leaving the party too. Have fun.”
“Whatever.”
You walk out the door, seeing a figure sitting on the curb.
“So bald zurück? Ich dachte, du würdest Spaß mit Pferdegesicht haben und einen Sturm kichern” Eren saying with a smirk.
“Back so soon? I thought you would be having fun with horse face and giggling up a storm.”
“Eren we don’t have to talk in German all the time.” you say giggling while bending down to sit next to him.
“Oh? But I thought you loved it when I talked in German, you would always clench you thighs whenever I would speak, it’s cute that you actually thought I didn’t notice.” Eren says sliding closer to you dipping his hand at your cunt rubbing it very slowing.
“Du bist schon so nass und ich habe dich noch nicht einmal richtig berührt“ Eren whispers in your ear. Shoving your panties to the side and teasing your folds.
“Your so wet already and I havent even touched you properly yet.”
Now sinking a slender finger inside stretching you out, you bit your lip to contain the moans.
Eren smirks.
“What’s wrong baby? just because we’re in public doesn’t mean you have to be quiet, no as far as I am concerned you can say my name no you can moan it, and not in German in English for everyone to hear. I want everyone to know that this pretty cunt belongs to me and only me.” He says while laughing.
“Im sorry.”
Eren stops.
“What was wrong sweet pea?” He says no teasing or playfulness laced with voice just genuine concern.
“I said I’m sorry. I just don’t want other girls all over you .” You say with hot tears streaming down your face.
Ah.
Needy baby.
“It’s okay baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’ll stop bringing them.”
Eren kisses you and ruffles your hair.
“I’ll see you later.”
Tolerate the second
You were doing it again.
Pissing him off.
You said you were sorry the last time, but you also loved how angry he would get if you were around other guys.
Like now.
You were sandwiched between two guys who were getting handsy with you, but you could care less about Eren and his anger issues, you would win this bet and that would be it.
But unbeknownst to you Eren was staring at you with nothing but a loving smile at you. Sitting down in a chair with his legs crossed, he was wearing black all over, sliver rings to compliment his fingers, his hair pulled back into a man bun with a few baby hairs sticking out, and black leather boots.
You looked over to him to see if he reacted in any type of way, but you started to panic when you saw him looking your way with a smile on his face. You get up and usher everyone out.
“Party’s over.”
When everyone had dispersed you focus your attention to Eren who would still looking at you with a smile on his face.
“Oh? Party ist vorbei, wie kommt es, dass es gerade interessant wurde.”
“Oh? Party's over how come it was just getting interesting.”
“Warum benimmst du dich so?”
“Why are you acting like this eren?”
“Because you think I’m fucking stupid that’s why.”
“Excuse me?”
Eren ignores your statement.
“Lass diese Jungs und diese Wette nicht zu deinem verdammten Kopf gehen, denn ich werde dich wieder zur Relalität bringen.”
“Don’t let those boys and this bet go to your fucking head because I will bring you back down to reality.”
“Warum nimmst du teil, wenn du schon wütend wirst? Ich beweise jetzt schon einen Punkt und die Wette ist noch nicht einmal beendet.”
“Why are you participating if your getting mad already im already proving a point now and the bet is not even finished.”
Eren pulls you closer to him and spreads your legs with his knee
“You’ll figure it out tomorrow if you piss me off again.”
But never a third time
Today was the last day of your bet with Eren. And of course you wanted to see what he had planned for you, even if that meant burying your own grave. Today was your 2 year anniversary and later tonight you would be going to a dinner with Eren, family and friends so they could meet him.
This was the perfect opportunity for all of Eren’s wrath to come down on you.
You decided to wear the shortest skirt you could find. You did your makeup, hair, and decided to put some rings on your fingers just like Eren.
After completing your look you walk downstairs to see Eren in a suit with rings on his fingers and a single earring dangling from his earlobe.
“Hey.”
“You look nice today.”
“Thanks.”
The car ride to the restaurant was very quiet, slowed and reverb music was playing from the radio.
Now at the restaurant Eren greets your parents and close friends.
Now everyone is in their seats before a waitress comes up and asks them what they would like to eat.
You look at your menu and say what you want and family says they want whatever you order.
Someone else walks in the restaurant with a smile and a box in their hands.
And it begins
Your mother pats you on your shoulder to tell you;
“Einer Ihrer Freunde hat etwas, das er Ihnen schenken möchte”
“One of your friends have something they want to give to you as a gift.”
Eren looks to the stranger with a concerned face, and then back to you.
“Wer ist er?”
“Who is he?”
You look at Eren trying contain a laugh.
“ein Freund.”
“A friend.”
Before Eren can say anything more the gentleman comes up to you and wraps his arms hugging you very tightly not to tightly just enough to give you affection.
“Hallo, es ist schon eine Weile her, wie geht es dir?”
“Hi it's been a while how are you?” He says with the biggest smile on his face.
“Ich war gut froh, dass es dir gut geht. Ich habe von einem kleinen Vogel gehört, dass du ein Geschenk für mich hast.”
“I've been good glad you are doing well I heard from a little birdy that you have a present for me.”
He blushes and he looks down at the floor, you take your hand and motions his head to look at you.
“Speak.”
And so he does.
“Ja, es ist ein Geschenk, es ist ein Ring mit meinem Namen, ich denke du wirst es mögen.”
“Yes it is a gift, it's a ring with my name on it i think you will like it.”
And thats when he takes out the ring and places it on your and then genty kisses your hand and wrists.
And thats when all hell breaks loose.
Eren quickly gets up from the table, dashes to your side and grabs your from the hem your shirt.
“Entschuldigung für die Unannehmlichkeiten, aber wir müssen jetzt gehen.”
“Sorry for the inconvenience but we need to leave now.”
Before either of your parents could say anything both you and Eren were out of the restaurant and heading to the car.
Eren throws you into the car, but his face is unreadable which is turning you on even more. He gets into the car and starts to drive, his knuckles white from how hard he’s gripping the steering wheel. Unlike from before he doesn’t allow you turn on the radio to ease the tension.
Now getting out the car you and Eren walks towards your shared house, he lets you enter the house first after entering the house he slams the door, making chills run down your body.
“Eren was ist los?”
“Eren what’s wrong-”
Eren slaps you.
“Jetzt will die Hure plötzlich reden?”
“Now the whore wants to talk suddenly?”
“Kleidung aus und auf allen vieren auf dem Boden.” Eren says while walking towards the living room.
“Clothes off and on all fours on the floor.”
And without a thought you discharge all of the clothes on your and make your way to the living to see Eren staring down at the floor with a cigarette between his slightly chapped lips, momentarily exhaling and inhaling the puffs of air.
“Schau nicht ohne Vorahnung auf.”
“Don't look up without permission.”
Eren takes another inhale of his cigarette.
“Ich habe dir gesagt, lass diese verdammte Wette nicht zu und andere Jungs gehen dir in den Kopf.”
“I told you dont let this fucking bet and other boys go to your head.”
And with that Eren grabs both of your wrists and gently plants the cigarette on your wrist.
“This is where he kissed you at right? This is where he planted those disgusting lips on you.”
You buck your hips to try and loosen his grip on you but to no avail.
“Answer me.”
“Ja.”
“Yes.”
“Now answer me this. Why are you letting other asshole touch you.”
“Eren-”
He pushes the cigarette down more on your skin, burning you a bit.
“Answer.”
“I was just accepting a gift from him, it didn’t mean anything I swear.”
“Now why would I believe you? This whole week you’ve been trying to piss me off and you know what y/n, have you succeeded in doing that so I’m having a hard time believing in anything that you say right now.”
Eren let’s his grip on your wrist goes, and places the cigarette in the ash tray. And then grabbing your neck up so you were both eye to eye.
“Tell me the truth and I’m all yours baby.” He said lightly licking your neck.
“Explain it all in German for me.” He said adding on, crossing his legs.
“Ich wollte mich wütend machen, damit du mich so hart ficken kannst, so gut, ich liebe es so sehr, ich liebe dich so sehr.”
“i wanted to make mad at me so you could fuck me like so hard, so good, i love it so much, i love you so much.”
You exhale, tears running down your face, you start to rut your bare cunt against the hardwood floor.
Your crying and the sight of you trying to get off on the floor went straight to Eren’s dick.
Eren starts to unbuckle his pants, his freed cock slapping aganist his abdomen.
“You think you can handle it baby?”
“Mhm yes- I know I can, I’ll be good again I promise, I’ve been acting so terrible these past few weeks and making you angry m’sorry Eren.”
And with that Eren bridal carries you to your shared bed room and gently puts you down.
“Open.”
And you do opening your mouth wide, Eren sticks two of his fingers in your mouth.
“Do I need to prep you?”
You shake your head no.
Eren smirks “Good girl.”
And with that Eren enters your hole.
“I love you, you know that right?” Eren says playing with your hair.
“Yes I know.”
“And everything I do is for you remember that. From the way I fuck you, from the way I do all of acts of service to words of affirmation there all for you and no one else.” He says finally moving the once quiet filled house now turning into sounds of skin slapping, panting that would last all the way into the evening then into the night.
Next day
You woken to the morning rays that were peeking out from your windows. Turning over you see that Eren had left but to where you wonder. Not that it matter you don’t care about anyone else but him, only him and him alone matters.
Somewhere far away, Eren had a box in his hand and a note along with it. He was at a house your parent’s house. Now knowing that your parents didn’t ever want to you to be with him he knocks on the door before setting the box and the note on the welcome mat and then walking away, hopping into his car.
The box being a wedding invation and a note saying; “Wenn du versuchst, für mich zu kommen, blühe ich weiter <3″
“You try to come for me I keep on flourishing. <3″
© all content belongs to amnxsia 2021. do not modify or repost.
#eren jäger#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#eren jeager x you#eren jaeger smut#eren yeager#eren yeager x reader#eren yeager smut#attack on titan eren#attack on titan x reader#aot x reader#snk#shinjeki no kyojin#snk x reader#shinjeki no kyojin x reader#tw: manipulation#tw: public sex#tw: dacryphilia#tw: branding#tw: slapping#tw: cigarettes#tw: degradation#tw: swearing#tw: smoking#nsfr
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Don't
Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x F! Reader
Genre: Fluff
Synopsis: You heard nothing but the sounds of crickets and silent snores. You smile to yourself knowing that it was the best time to confess.
Word Count: 800
Warnings: this is probably so cliché im so sorry i just- ☹️
A/n: Pretty much started with an angst plot but idk what happened after that gbjshfjd IM SO SORRY IF IT’S... 🙂
Tsukishima kei has always been standoffish, cold, and distant. He has always been like this, since the day your mom brought you to his house for a play date. How he would glare at you whenever you dare to go near his dinosaur plushies but that didn’t faze you. At a very young age you learned how to understand a person just by observing from a distance.
Every time you were brought to play with him, he would just brush past you and continue what he was doing. He didn’t talk to you, played with you, but he didn’t kick you out of his room either and maybe just maybe he liked having you there just like you liked being there.
Some time after, he grew accustomed to you. He started talking to you, playing with you, and just like that, he allowed you to play with his most prized possession. His dinosaur collection.
Since then, you became one of the few who he considered as his friend. One of the few who he would show his most vulnerable sides to and you liked it. You liked the feeling of being trusted and being confided in. He became your bestfriend and you became his.
Little did you know your feelings started to change. For the worse? Or for the better? you weren't sure but the only thing you knew is that your feelings for Kei might be something more than platonic.
You had no plans on confessing, you were afraid that if you did, he'd end everything in an instant. And so, you kept it to yourself.
You and Yamaguchi are about to sleepover at Tsukishima's house in hopes of relieving yourselves from the stress you all felt during the exam week.
You were in his room, the futons laid down beside Kei’s bed. You were assigned to sleep on the bed as per usual. They couldn't stress enough that a girl shouldn't sleep on a futon if there's bed available (which you found preposterous lmao) And since then, the two of them wouldn't take no for an answer. Their decision was final and the decision was and always will be you taking the comfort of the bed and Kei takes the futon.
On one sleepless night, you guys planned to watch a horror movie, courtesy of Yams, the bitch who knew you were scared easily, grinning from ear to ear as he sat beside you. Kei took the seat on your left, making you sit in the middle. You couldn't make up half of the movie since every time a jump scare pops, you either snuggle next to yamaguchi or tsukishima, hating every bit of the movie.
The scary portions of the movie kept you up and you couldn’t sleep. You tried to play on your phone, scrolled through your socials, and counted imaginary sheep but nothing worked.
“Are you guys awake?” you whispered, your eyes staring at the ceiling. You heard nothing but the sounds of crickets and silent snores. You smile to yourself knowing that it was the best time to confess. To confess your feelings and not make a fool out of yourself. You had feelings for Kei and maybe if you can get it out of your chest, the weight you’ve been carrying can be lifted, and so you did.
“Kei… I don’t want to ruin anything between us by some stupid feelings of mine but I really like you. I like you more than a friend and I’m afraid that if I tell you, you would stop being friends with me all together. Selfish of me right?” you chuckled, tears started staining your cheeks, not aware of the time you started crying but you continue.
“And I thought, maybe… if I told you now, I could move on and not pay it anymore attention. So I’m letting you g-”
“Don’t.” you turned your head to the side, meeting Tsukishima’s eyes. You felt your heart stop, the blood rushing to your cheeks. He heard everything. You awkwardly laughed while averting your gaze.
"Heh- forget everything you heard...I’ll just go to the washroom” you scratched the back of your neck before standing up, striding your way to the washroom. Before you could reach the door, strong arms caught you. Your back pressing against his chest, arms tangled around your waist, his head rested on your shoulder.
“Don’t. Don’t let go.” he whispered. The heat of his breath sent shivers to your body. You turned around, facing him with red eyes and puffy cheeks, his golden orbs staring into you. “I like you too. Please don’t let go.” he repeated.
You couldn’t help but sob. Loudly. The sound of your cries woke Yamaguchi up. Yams rushed to the light switch, flicking it on. “OI TSUKKI WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?” he said, securing you in a tight hug. You hugged him back while crying even more.
“I didn’t do anything.” he deadpanned, glaring back at Yamaguchi. “Then why is y/n-chan crying huh?” Yamaguchi retorted.
“Because… I told her I like her too…” He trailed off. Yamaguchi’s mouth parted, his hands stopped patting your back.
“FUCKING FINALLY” Yamaguchi yelled before bringing you in for another tight hug but this time, he included Tsukishima.
#haikyuucafe#tsukishima#tsukishima kei#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima x reader#hq tsukishima#tsukishima headcanons#tsukishima x y/n#tsuki fluff#tsukki fluff#haikyuu#haikyuu reader insert#karasuno fluff#karasuno#kei#haikyuu fluff#hq fluff#tsukishima x you
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