#i think we've been human longer than we've been writing
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for a while i lived in an old house; the kind u.s americans don't often get to live in - living in a really old house here is super expensive. i found out right before i moved out that the house was actually so old that it features in a poem by emily dickinson.
i liked that there were footprints in front of the sink, worn into the hardwood. there were handprints on some of the handrails. we'd find secret marks from other tenants, little hints someone else had lived and died there. and yeah, there was a lot wrong with the house. there are a lot of DIY skills you learn when you are a grad student that cannot afford to pay someone else to do-it-for-ya. i shared the house with 8 others. the house always had this noise to it. sometimes that noise was really fucking awful.
in the mornings though, the sun would slant in thick amber skiens through the windows, and i'd be the first one up. i'd shuffle around, get showered in this tub that was trying to exit through the floor, get my clothes on. i would usually creep around in the kitchen until it was time to start waking everyone else up - some of them required multiple rounds of polite hey man we gotta go knocks. and it felt... outside of time. a loud kind of quiet.
the ghosts of the house always felt like they were humming in a melody just out of reach. i know people say that the witching hour happens in the dark, but i always felt like it occurred somewhere around 6:45 in the morning. like - for literal centuries, somebody stood here and did the dishes. for literal centuries, somebody else has been looking out the window to this tree in our garden. for literal centuries, people have been stubbing their toes and cracking their backs and complaining about the weather. something about that was so... strangely lovely.
i have to be honest. i'm not a history aficionado. i know, i know; it's tragic of me. i usually respond to "this thing is super old" by being like, wow! cool! and moving on. but this house was the first time i felt like the past was standing there. like it was breathing. like someone else was drying their hands with me. playing chess on the sofa. adding honey to their tea.
i grew up in an old town. like, literally, a few miles off of walden pond (as in of the walden). (also, relatedly, don't swim in walden, it's so unbelievably dirty). but my family didn't have "old house" kind of money. we had a barely-standing house from the 70's. history existed kind of... parallel to me. you had to go somewhere to be in history. your school would pack you up on a bus and take you to some "ye olden times" place and you'd see how they used to make glass or whatever, and then you'd go home to your LEDs. most museums were small and closed before 5. you knew history was, like, somewhere, but the only thing that was open was the mcdonalds and the mall.
i remember one of my seventh grade history teachers telling us - some day you'll see how long we've been human for and that thing has been puzzling me. i know the scientific number, technically.
the house had these little scars of use. my floors didn't actually touch the walls; i had to fill them with a stopgap to stop the wind. other people had shoved rags and pieces of newspaper. i know i've lost rings and earring backs down some of the floorboards. i think the raccoons that lived in our basement probably have collected a small fortune over the years. i complain out loud to myself about how awful the stairs are (uneven, steep, evil, turning, hard to get down while holding anything) and know - someone else has said this exact same thing.
when i was packing up to leave and doing a final deep cleaning, i found a note carved in the furthest corner in the narrow cave of my closet. a child's scrawled name, a faded paint handprint, the scrangly numbers: 1857.
we've been human for a long time. way back before we can remember.
#idk if it's still tradition but the kids at the local school next to walden when I went there#used to have a tradition where u had to pee in walden pond before u graduated or otherwise you'd fail one of your classes#as someone who did not do this im happy to report i did fail a class so maybe they had a point#they've torn the school down tho so who knows#i hope this makes sense#i think we've been human longer than we've been writing#ps this land was taken over by hostile combatants and colonialized . let us not forget that part of the reason#our 'history' is so short. is that we have systematically slaughtered the people who had history here before
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It is time... to obsessively hyper analyze Vincent. Come on. You knew it was coming.
So first off, while there isn't a lot to glean per se, there are a few interesting design choices that I'd like to go over.
One thing that I was surprised about is the complete lack of round shapes/edges. Vincent looks overall a lot more 'sharp', 'edgy', whatever you want to term it. Take his buckles for example. The round edges have been replaced by sharp edges. Artistically speaking, these design choices are meant to depict the character's personality. For example, if you have a soft character, you use soft colors, soft edges, round shapes, etc. If you want a more harsh character, you give them dark or vivid colors, lots of squares, triangles, etc. In Vincent's case, they've virtually removed all of the round/soft edges he always used to have. We will delve further into this as we scan down his body *cough*.
Edit: Forgot to point out that he has double the spokes on his buckles, so instead of 4 prominent spokes, he now has 8, which is the symbol of Chaos.
Anyways.... speaking of Chaos.
Continuing to analyze his upper body, the most obvious are his eyes (or single eye). It's hard to tell, but judging by the few clips we've seen along with the still images, it looks as though only his left eye is glowing. Nevertheless, he does have the Chaos inner-glow. While he's always had a touch of yellow/orange in his eyes, it looked more like natural eye reflection rather than an actual glow. This is likely the change the dev team hinted at during an earlier interview. His pupils are also notably very small compared to all of the other characters with the exception of Sephiroth's cat-eye slits. Overall, they've made it a point to give Vincent predatory eye(s) this time around, leaning more heavily into the fact that he is no longer fully human.
The material that makes up Vincent's cape and headband seem to be of slightly different material, and the colors are even slightly different. His headband looks to be made of a very thin cloth of fine thread. His cloak, though also seemingly thin and light, is only slightly thicker. His cloak looks to be made of either felt or very fine linen which looks to be heavily worn out (of course). Also, Vincent seems to have snake-skin on his gun-wielding arm which I've only seen the Turks and Sephiroth wear. In general, this luxury material seems to only be worn by those connected to Shinra. Thus, it is likely this is meant to coincide with Vincent's past as a Turk. But in terms of his role as Turk, I will get to that a little later.
I think we can all agree that the weapon he is currently wielding is Quicksilver. It would make sense that he would start off with the same weapon he has in OG, though I and many others were surprised he wasn't wielding his most iconic weapon, Cerberus. While it isn't confirmed, and with the inclusion of many DoC elements, this makes me think that we could get an origins story for how Vincent obtained Cerberus in the first place. We are getting an origins story for Sephiroth's Masamune in Ever Crisis, and we already know the Bustersword's origins, so it's not out of the question. (And there are a lot of parallels to be drawn between Cloud, Sephiroth, and Vincent).
Side note: I didn't write this in the graph but you can also see Vincent's left eye glowing through his bangs yet again even from such a distance. Natural white room bounce-light wouldn't have this affect on normal eyes.
Rebirth Vincent seems to be sporting his OG button-top which is a design that we haven't seen since OG. It too has a little bit of snake-skin accents. A few other not so important changes are the alterations of his buckles, and the fact that it looks to be more obvious that he is wearing a two-piece set instead of a single piece jumper. Makes it much easier to remove, am I right?
Going down to those luscious DoC hips, some belts are shifted around or missing, but then we have the thigh guard which was responsible for giving Vincent that unusually thick hip appearance. However, he is still sporting that gorgeous slutty tiny waist we all love from DoC. Thank you, Squeenix. The armor on his side is an odd choice, though more than likely it is meant to protect those birthing hips from that extra dangerous looking set of claws--- which I would like to remind is also lacking in round edges. Yet again, all of the round shapes/edges have been replaced by sharp ones. Take the knuckles for example. I will miss his AC/DoC claw. It was less of a bitch to draw. The gauntlet looks to serve not only for offense but for defense as well. It is heavily armored for impact, and as we will see going down the rest of his body, heavy protection and sharp edges continue to be a theme for his new Rebirth look.
Once again, we can see how thin and light the material is on his cloak. It is in contrast to his very elaborate and possibly expensive gear/suit. His cloak and headband seem to be the only things that clashes with the rest of his gear in terms of quality and practicality. While there are signs of use on his armor, it pales in comparison to the possible age and wear of his cloak. As a matter of fact, it almost looks like it is about to fall apart... like it was hand-made years ago. Very different from the heavy material we see in AC and DoC.
And then of course there are the sabatons/greaves. While I cannot pin-point it, his armor design seems reminiscent of the Ancients/Minerva for some reason. That aside, the heavily layered armor makes it seem like he will be doing a lot more damage with his claw and legs going forward, on top of being heavily protected. The design on his shin reminded me of an army symbol, but that's neither here nor there. ....And I'm so happy they kept his tiny ankles.
In general, Vincent's Rebirth design seems to lean into a Vincent that is much more guarded, 'edgy', and ultimately a lot more reserved, albeit self-reliant. We've seen as much in his room where it doesn't appear that he has only been moping in a coffin all these years. What's more---
--He points a gun at Cloud and threatens the group. This did not happen in OG. Vincent appears to be even more distrusting and hostile this time around. This yet again is depicted in how he is dressed in the heavy armor and ample sharp edges.
And what's with a vending machine and protorelic(?) dispenser in his mancave? Vincent boss fight, maybe? Please? Sure seems like Vincent hasn't been lacking anything...
But back to Vincent being a lot more distrusting this time.
Unless this is merely for the audience and new FF7 fans who know nothing of his character, this implies that Vincent doesn't divulge his connection to the Turks and instead calls himself "Security" guard. And not only that, it's spoken as if it's current tense. Not past tense. So yet again, if Vincent is indeed avoiding the term Turk and doesn't even tell Cloud and Co that he used to work for Shinra, this adds to the idea that his level of distrust is much higher than before. At this point, it wouldn't surprise me if joins the party much later, even after learning who Cloud's foe is. And since his connection to Sephiroth aka Lucrecia/Hojo is the mystery factor, he may not even divulge this to Cloud and Co when they first meet until much later. Either way, Vincent might actually prove to be a much tougher egg to crack this time around, along with more layers to uncover. (take that last phrase however you'd like)
#vincent valentine#final fantasy 7#ff7#final fantasy#ffvii#ff7 rebirth#final fantasy 7: rebirth#ffvii rebirth
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Congratulations!!
If you feel inspired by this combo and have time, could you write a ficlet using "I", 🍨, 🥰 or 😂, and 🔨?
Thank you!
(Apologies if you already got this ask--my device froze when I sent it the first time, so I don't know if it went through)
Thank you so much! 🥰I still remember your lovely comments on the mer-dude fic, so I hope you enjoy this little bonus! 🦕❤️🧜🏻♂️
Of mates and mer-dudes
Words: 996
Rated: T
Tags: summer camp AU; mer!Steve; established relationship; flirting; sexual tension; fade to black
Notes: Set in the same universe as Just add water
“Hammer.”
“Hammer,” Eddie repeats dutifully. Dustin spends two or three seconds trying to drive the nail in with the object he's been handed, until he realizes it's a screwdriver.
“Very funny. I said hammer.”
“Apologies,” Eddie mutters, chucking the screwdriver back into the mess that is their toolbox with one hand and wiping his sunburnt forehead with the other. “I think we've been out here longer than is strictly healthy. How ‘bout we call it a day and head back to camp? It's almost dinner time.”
Dustin scowls. The hair under his Thinking Cap is matted with sweat and he is red-faced and splotchy. An unavoidable side effect of working out on the secluded pier all afternoon.
“We can't just stop now, it's almost done,” Dustin claims, gesturing at their rickety construction of wood and mesh - it’s supposed to be an oversized fish trap, even though Eddie thinks it’s turning out to be more of a funky modern art installation. “This'll work, I know it. This time, I'll prove that Lovie is real. All those past times, it got away too quickly, but if I could just-”
“Jesus, kid,” Eddie groans. “You and your lake monster. You don't know when to give up, do you?”
“Give up?” Dustin scoffs. “If Thomas Edison had given up, we'd still be lighting candles. If Homer Ahr had given up, we would've never walked on the moon. I sure as hell won't-?”
“The fuck is Homer Ahr?”
Dustin heaves a long-suffering sigh.
“Only mission control's chief engineer, Eddie? Honestly, that's the kinda question I'd expect from Steve, not you. Where is he, by the way? I thought he wanted to help us.”
“No idea,” Eddie admits. “Lucky bastard.”
Dustin draws a breath, probably to ask what he means, but Eddie is saved by the sound of the dinner bell floating over from the camp grounds.
“Okay, you gremlin, off you go,” he says, pushing the kid towards the sound before another argument can break loose. “We can finish this tomorrow when we aren't dehydrated and grouchy.”
Dustin grumbles. “What about you?”
Eddie waves him off. “Be there in a sec, lemme put away your shit first.”
He starts picking up their scattered tools, throwing them back into the box. Only when he's sure that Dustin is well out of earshot does he collapse at the edge of the pier, naked feet dangling over the water's surface.
“Man,” he says. “That kid, right?”
There's a soft growl from behind him, and the barest of sloshing sounds, and a shadow falls over him. He only just manages to suck in a breath - knowing he'll need it - before a massive snout pushes between his shoulder blades and he goes plummeting into the lake. He’s dimly aware of the toolbox going down with him, and then the world vanishes in a whirl of bubbles.
He resurfaces to the feeling of arms wrapping around his waist and massive fins brushing his legs, and the sound of laughing voices - one human, one very much not so. He tries to glower at their owners, but actually needs a second to part the sopping curtain of his hair.
“So fucking hilarious, you aquatic asshats. I thought I told you to quit doing that.”
Lovie the lake creature just chirps merrily and dives back under again, splashing him with her fins as she goes.
Steve shrugs. The motion makes tiny droplets of water run down his bare shoulders and collarbones, bringing out his freckles and moles and tiny, glittering scales. Eddie wants to lick them. He has long stopped worrying about what that says about him.
“Sorry. She just wants you in the water with us. She likes it when the flock is together.”
His smile is apologetic, but his tail curls around Eddie’s legs in the water, fins wrapping around the two of them possessively.
Because, see, here's the thing. Over the past year, Eddie has not only discovered that his infuriatingly pretty fellow camp counselor is a mermaid and the guardian of an ancient lake creature. He has also somehow managed to score said mer-dude as a boyfriend and been adopted into the lake creature's flock.
“She never does that shit with Buckley,” he grouses, even though Steve’s words make something flutter in his chest. Steve's touch, also - hands on his hips, fins on his ankles. “She's part of the flock, too, isn't she?”
“Yeah…” Steve blushes, a delicious pink hue on wet, sun-tanned skin. Eddie wants to lick that, too. “But Robin isn't my…”
He trails off into an unintelligible mumble after that. Eddie wrinkles his brow.
“Your what? Come again, fish boy, I didn’t-”
“My mate,” Steve blurts, and the fins on his hips flutter excitedly under Eddie’s fingers. “Robin isn’t my mate.”
Eddie feels his mouth drop open. The water is unpleasantly cold against his flushed skin.
“Wait,” he says when he finally remembers how to form words again. “Hold on a second. When did that happen?”
Steve’s face is still scarlet, but his lips start twitching when he meets Eddie’s eyes. “That’s just the way she sees it. You can’t expect her to think in human standards. Now c’mon, we gotta get to dinner or the kids will wonder where-”
“Oh, no!” Eddie interrupts him, mouth tugging into a stupid, wide grin of his own. “No, no, no, sweetheart. You don’t get to tell me that we’ve been mer-mated for God knows how long and never officially consummated that sacred connection. I’m gonna get a mer-divorce if you don’t-”
“Oh God, shut up,” Steve groans, and kisses him.
As he gets dragged off to their favorite little shore, well out of sight from the camp grounds, Eddie bids a brief mental farewell to the toolbox lying abandoned at the ground of the lake. He’ll have to make up some story about where it went when Dustin asks him, but that's a problem for later.
For now, he’s got other things to think about.
More celebration ficlets
#steddie#steve x eddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#steddie brainrot#steddie fanfic#fanfiction writer#fanfiction#fanfic#my writing#just add water#hype's 1k follower ficlets
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☆◞ YOU TELL THEM YOU WANT TO CUDDLE
—What's their reaction?
warnings: not proofread. established relationship. sfw. gender neutral pronouns.
very short drabble featuring: scaramouche (fatui era), wanderer, xiao, lyney, kazuha, tighnari.
a/n: yall. ive been trying to post this since monday. when i clicked save as draft, that shi was thrown into the void by tumblr. no joke. i refreshed the page and that draft NEVER appeared. then i tried to submit it on wednesday (cant believe i had to check with google if i was writing that right. i was writing it as wensday. moving on-) and also i tried to post it yesterday but different stuff happened that if i explain it this a/n will end up being longer than the drabble.....
› MASTERLIST ‹
—SCARAMOUCHE
"Can't you see I'm busy? You've been here with me the whole day, and yet you fail to notice I'm caught up in more important matters to attend to?" he scoffed, putting down the pile of papers he was skimming through. "If you wait and sit patiently, I might humor you. No guarantees, though. And don't look so happy about it,"
Lacks notion of how tight he's holding you, it's like he's trying to squeeze the air out of you.
—WANDERER
"Cuddling is yet another one of those senseless stuff humans do, right? What makes you think I want to engage in it," he uncrossed his arms when he saw you turning around to leave. "Wait right there. I didn't say I wouldn't do it. You're more annoying when you don't have your way,"
He avoids cuddling for more than 10 minutes. He gets so relaxed and comfortable to the point he falls asleep if the cuddling session goes beyond the limit. Terribly embarrassed about it.
—XIAO
"No. You know I do this for your sake. I don't think a mortal should be sticking to a potential death risk. Yes, I'm aware that we've kissed, but...If you think making that expression will work, you're wrong."
Cue cuddling session with Xiao, albeit hesitantly because he's afraid it'll hurt you.
—LYNEY
"Is my lovely dove desperate for my attention? My, I wouldn't have imagined you'd be the clingy type," he slid his finger along your jawline, prompting you to face him. "But who am I to deny my lover when they make such heartfelt requests,"
It’s ironic he acts like you’re the clingy one, when he’s worse in that regard. He tends to slide his hands under your top and rest them on your tummy.
—KAZUHA
"My love, it seems as if not only our destinies are interlaced, but also our minds," he smiled gently, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
Somehow, Kazuha always smells comforting, like ocean breeze, or lavender.
—TIGHNARI
"Alright, but only if you promise not to drool on my tail again," he teased. "Let me just finish writing this letter and I'll be there. You can go ahead and wait for me,"
Tighnari wraps his tail around your thigh whenever you two cuddle. He'll also allow you to use it as a pillow if you want to; it's like resting your head on a fluffy cloud.
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Sliding into here with a concept that I'm not sure I'll get around to writing in detail. I know it's been talked of before but I gotta bring it back 'round!
We've got Dream and Hob and they've finally gotten to a point where they've started shaking things up in the bedroom. Hob was perfectly happy with the traditional Human Sex they've been having so far. More than happy. It's Dream. It's his Friend, his Stranger. How could he not be?
Then Dream opens his mind to all the possibilities one can have when lying with an Endless, him specifically. So they enjoy their exploration through the impossible. Hob discovers he quite likes feeling small against a massive eight foot Dream. He's also particularly fond of the seemingly endless (ha) rotation of non-standard genitalia Dream can conjur up.
For their second Christmas together - a holiday he only celebrates because Hob does - he wraps himself in soft silk woven of stardust and lies under the tree for Hob to "unwrap" once he wakes. And it's just as wonderful as every other time, especially as the stardust ribbons come to life and start stroking and coiling around Hob's very eager form and restrains him while Dream feasts upon his warm body.
Then things in Dream's work life take a turn for the worst. The Kindly Ones come, Daniel takes over, and Dream is no longer Dream. He's Morpheus, for the time, but even that name doesn't fit as it used to. Murphy, when Hob's been cheeky about it and his new found humanity. But he's still "Duck" and "Dove", "Sweetheart" and "Love" and every other name Hob has bestowed upon him.
So he moves in with Hob and learns to be human. It takes a while. Things are very different than they used to be. But he gets better. And finds he almost enjoys his new life. Until they make their way to the bedroom after many months.
He can't contort his human body like he could before. There's no more mystery or change or intrigue. It's just him and his human flesh and his mortal cock and he's honestly unsure of how to handle it.
Hob notices because of course he does. He notices how his darling is still hard and leaking but his gaze and mind are elsewhere. So they stop. And doesn't that just send Morpheus spiraling.
They talk. Eventually. It's still a bit like pulling teeth with Morpheus. Humanity didn't do anything to dampen his pride and ego. But eventually the truth comes out and Hob swears to do everything in his power to show the love of his life that the sex has been fantastic because it was with him. Not because of his powers - yes, he'll admit, it was a perk - but humans have come up with quite a few ingenious ways to spice things up in the bedroom.
And when his first Christmas as a human rolls around, he decides to do his best to embrace humanity as Hob would. He grabs the soft red rope he had bought from the sex store they had visited together many times before and does his best to tie himself up like a gift as he had back when he was still Dream.
He lies under the warm glow of their tree. He had woken early, knowing well he could not sleep under here the whole night, but he rests and waits on the plush tree skirt for his lover to emerge.
And when Hob sees him all wrapped up for him that morning, he doesn't hesitate to show his appreciation for such a fine and thoughtful gift.
Ohhhhhhhh Dream. My heart. I'm screaming at the idea of human, vulnerable, darling Dream waking up early and wrapping himself up - looking down at his frail human form and trying to see what Hob sees. Something beautiful and worthy of love. The red rope looks nice against his pale skin, and he implicitly knows that Hob will think that he's perfect.
And Hob’s face when he sees Dream lit up by the lights on the Christmas tree, wrapped up like the gift he is... he's crying a bit, and smiling, and he's also genuinely super horny about this whole situation, and mainly just so arse over tits in love with his darling, darling Dream. The man that he loves with all his heart, sex or no sex. The man he will undoubtedly spend the rest of his life with.
He sucks Dream’s cock right there by the tree. It's not magical or earthshattering, it's just really fucking nice and lovely. And when they both go back to bed afterwards with a cup of tea, Dream doesn't feel less than what he was before. He feels more. More loved than ever.
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Hi, I’m new in this tag kinda and new to meta-writing overall, but not only is the August brain rot really strong but one particular part of his entire character has been on my mind for a whole weekend. Please take this as mostly an offering of very spilled thoughts cause I couldn't keep them to myself anymore, LMAO. Particularly the thing that's on my brain is his guilt
I would also like to make note of and thank @ lizardthelizard And her glorious set of tags here for setting off my spiral tonight and also when she first sent them because my goodness this is truly an eye-opener. Thank you, buddy 💖
Gosh though, August’s guilt and self-criticism of himself and his actions is something that really fascinates me personally, and just thinking of it being the cause of what turns him back to wood is both mind-blowing but it just makes so much sense. He may be real because of magic but who’s to say it’s just the magical conditions that are holding him back and not the high as heck expectations that he feels were set for him and he set up for himself.
When it feels like you can't mess up sometimes it can feel like you're stuck in place Or that your screw ups means you can't change, that you're not good, that maybe you don't deserve to be considered good and that your various flaws are all that others would see you FOR!!
Maybe it's different to anxiety but idk it’s what caught my attention about him even more than what his character already offered up in s1!
He was given this like
Idea that he needs to be "Brave" and "Truthful" and "Selfless" all the time or else he cannot be human
Does it work like that? no, there's no human on EARTH that's all three of those things all the time, we've all had moments of weakness and gave in
But what does he know? Most of his life he spent on his own and as a puppet, he was expected to understand the ways of being a human and GOODNESS knows how short a time he was with his dad before he was THRUST into a world and forced once again to stand on his own two feet and expected to just, you know, know how to act once again
He's followed by expectations that he finds himself struggling to meet because he doesn't know what the limit is or how to meet them, and sometimes if not all of the times the temptations are just better and easier
And it's expected!!!
He stepped into TLWM as a child with no idea of what he’s getting into with no prior knowledge, no adult, no nothing.
But omg, he drags himself down so much about it because he can’t meet those expectations the way he would want to and because of that because literally who did he have to tell him that it's all okay? That you can make mistakes and move on from them? That you can make up for your mistakes and forgive yourself for them?
Did he have anyone at all? Cause The show sure didn't show him having anyone
We see one woman in Thailand but even after he discovers he's turning into wood she's no longer around, so like she's probably about as fleeting of a relationship as anything else
Imagine going 28 years at first ignoring all your problems and then the horror and thoughts that you’re not good enough catch up to you one morning and the more you see yourself a failure, the more you sink into that spiral the harder it feels to breathe.
#ouat#august booth#august meta#SORRY LIBBY I DIDN'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU WITH A TAG SO IT'S EMPTY LIKE THAT FOR NOW#BUT KNOW I'M SCREAMING MY APPRECIATION AT YOUUUU RN!! <33333#Anyway terribly sorry for all this guys JBFKTHLRJCTRLK I've fallen deep into this hole#and I don't plan on getting out anytime soon#August is a fascinating character to me#and I'm in a constant state of rotating him in my head always and forever#He's so messy he's so pathetic but he also tries no matter how great or little#He wants to be human but god it's hard to be that when you don't even know what it means to be one#I don't anything like this ever so ahahhaaha I hope this stuff makes sense!!#See you around#Maybe LOL#sol talks
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Would you have any writing advice/tips for someone just starting out? I hope to one day be as skilled as you are!! <3
oh my gosh this has been sitting in my inbox for way longer than I've wanted it to T^T but yes!!! I have Many a tips (also sobs??? at you??)
write down. everything. little ideas, dialogue ideas, notes for yourself, future scenes, even if it's one sentence or two. write them. even if you think you'll remember it later
this one is kind of a give or take since I know some people are organized chaos and work better with that but -- try to keep all of your notes for stuff in one place. organization helps a Lot with writing (I say, as I have my notes for songbird spread out over four different apps)
outlines are your friend!!! I love outlines! chapter outlines, fic outlines. they're incredibly helpful in keeping yourself on track and knowing where your story is going. of course, this comes with saying: your outlines are Not set in stone. sometimes while you're writing, the story takes a different direction than you thought it would, and that's okay! sometimes plans change and the original image you had in mind doesn't fit with where the story is going. don't be afraid to plan something again with different ideas! it's all a part of the creative process
outlines also help a buuuunch with pacing of a fic.
speaking pacing, pacing is incredibly important to a story. you don't want things to feel super rushed or super slow either. granted, pacing can be tricky to figure out, but that's something that comes with lots of practice. I suggest looking at like. other fics or even tv shows (I use some animes I'm very familiar with as examples for good pacing)
research. if you're dealing with a topic or a concept that you don't know much about, do some research. I know this one sounds like a given, but I cannot tell you how many times I've read a fic that dealt with something like ptsd and. it was So abundantly clear the writer didn't do any research on it. and was writing based on very old fandom stereotypes that are Not in line with what ptsd actually is. so research is important!
if you're like me and you have trouble visualizing things, get reference images! they're super helpful. I use reference images a ton when I'm describing rooms and buildings. I can't visualize those too well in my head, so I go to google and look up the kind of building or interior I'm trying to describe. ofc, this expands to basically anything too -- clothes, items, scenery, cars
this is probably the most important piece? don't write for numbers. I know it's a lot easier said than done, because at the end of the day we're all human and we like sharing, we like talking about what we've created. and sometimes it's really easy to compare to others and get caught up in how well a fic is doing based on the kudos/comments/hits, etc (god knows I'm incredibly guilty of it jhhgfhfjg). but the really important thing is that you write for you. write because you're passionate about an idea, or you're excited to see something in your head come to life on the page. focus on your passion, your excitement, and you will find the people who share that. it'll happen naturally. write for the excitement and fun of writing <3
(I also have a whole tag now with other advice posts >/////< there's a lot of stuff in there that I hope can be helpful!!)
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Update Time, Update Time
Welcome back, everyone. Hope you all had a very happy New Years! I come bearing a late present for you all: A Versotale update!
Game Progress
As I anticipated, I needed to take a break around the middle of November so I could focus on schoolwork. Now that we've been on break for a little while again and will continue to be for the better part of January, I've already gotten a sizable chunk of stuff done. Still not as much as I would've LIKED to have completed - There are still like only three fully-completed rooms at the moment, and even then they have a ton of WIP assets and first-pass dialogue and all - but, that is the way of coding a game solo, mostly from scratch, and with the occasional glances at Undertale's code, isn't it?
Unfortunately, while I really want to share stuff with you guys, it's all in some way a spoiler that I don't want to spoil for the people who'd rather experience everything fresh for themselves.
...
So, if you DO wanna experience everything fresh for yourself, feel free to bow out of this post here. If you're sticking around, enjoy some mild spoiler-y content, some character designs, and some fun vague allusions to things I still really wanna talk about! I need to give you guys SOMETHING after this long wait, right?
Game Progress: Slightly Spoiler-y Edition
The OPENING CUTSCENE you saw a while back has been tweaked slightly to make Hercine more likable, and so the dialogue can flow a bit more naturally.
Two new cutscenes have been added to the beginning, albeit with some rough visuals. These three all flow into each other, and if you're speaking through each line of dialogue, they only take up about six minutes total. Still, it is a TAD bit too long for my liking without any gameplay behind it, so there's a chance I might cut a cutscene or switch the order of things around so there's a brief gameplay section before the last one. Who knows.
Undyne has been redesigned. Undyne now sports some less bulky armor that combines aspects of her canon casual and armored forms. If she's gonna be there the entire game, she may as well have a visually-interesting design rather than the blob of bluish-grey her armor used to be. I'm sure some people will consider this a downgrade, which is always the risk you run when you redesign a character you've already shown off... but I personally just can't stand working with that old design any longer. The colors barely pop, it looks messy, the armor's boring and flat-colored and almost even blends into her scales, etc.
You didn't get to see the outdated Frisk design I had for this iteration of the project, and I'm glad you didn't, because upon writing more of their scenes and reconfiguring their personality, I HAD to redesign them again. I don't anticipate this one changing ANY time soon, but, as with Undyne, no promises.
Next up, some important human characters in the first area that AREN'T Frisk! You'll meet them later on, and I really hope you all end up liking them and the story behind them! In the meantime, here, have their designs. Again, they might change, but I'm comfortable with these for now.
That's all I feel comfortable showing off for the first area at the moment! I'm hoping to record everything up until the first save point and post it on YouTube at some point before the end of January (Again, as I must reiterate, in its very unfinished form), but no promises!
While that's all for the first area, I have been poking around with redesigning some of the later characters you guys have not even seen yet. Particularly, the primary antagonist of the new Cold West. I have to admit, I was a little worried that, if I didn't switch up his design, people would start comparing him to Clover since Undertale Yellow is still fresh in a lot of our memories right now, but... I think you guys will really like "The long scarf of the law." He's a fun character.
Alright, that's all from me! I hope you guys enjoyed this brief little peek at some mild spoiler-y content! I hope to be back soon with some neat stuff for y'all to see in action!
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Can You Not Hear It?
The future within our grasp? That ACHING, CLAWING NEED for us to just REACH OUT and take the reins.
That future whereby public consciousness exceeds our individual knowledge, and we become so deeply driven by eachother. Knowing that if one of us can, then all of us can.
The desire to truly, once and for all take care of eachother. We all just want to make it in this world, and we're so close to a point where we can drag eachother into the future.
The advances we've made in the last century alone have been nothing short of magical. Thinking up new ways to solve our health, increasing our lifespans by decades. We are on the cusp of infinite energy. We're just short of fully cybernetic limbs, and soon regrowable body parts.
The backsliding anti-progressives cannot hold on for much longer, they don't have the power to resist that overbearing monstrosity that is tearing away our backs lest we forget to run.
That monster that tells us there's no way back. Progress slides ever onwards, it's as ever as it has been. We no longer need the hysterics about it, the future is in our grasp, we need but seize it.
We are so connected in thought, feeling, love, acceptance and popular dissuasion.
OOOH CAN YOU NOT FEEL IT?! I know you! As you know me! We have never met, we will never meet, but I KNOW you.
Do you not see that far off sliver of an edge where a beautiful future waits for us. Look at how close it is, WE CAN SEE IT.
Humanity's expansion is one of harmony, don't you see? We want to be the benevolent progenitors so badly. Look at how often we write about it. The people before us looked like us, they were better than we are. All across science fiction, fantasy. THE STORIES WE TELL. We write about aliens coming by and gifting us great ancestral knowledge, because we know that we'd do that if we had that power. We instinctively try to raise up others.
Don't you feel that gnawing need to just HELP EACHOTHER?! Cut out the things that are terrible, let them fall away. You just need to understand we exist in as much space as we can take. Our bubbles end where another begins, and we test eachother's boundaries.
We learn those boundaries so we know what to do when those boundaries break. And we push eachother forward. Get back up, dust off your knees, there's work to do, but we don't have to die for it. We have to live for it.
CAN YOU NOT.
FEEEEEEL IT?!
The future begs for us.
Do you ever wonder if some of our drastic brain disorders are simply unable to process our advances, or some so well equipped for a future not arriving fast enough? Once you live long enough, our brains maybe, just can't process our progress. What if we knew it was coming because it no longer felt like magic.
Every ounce of science fiction was always about what we could be. Telling us what to avoid and what to take with us. Our lessons, successes, failures, and noble truths.
Telling us that the smallest virus can take out so much of us, the most advanced civilization we've ever known. Telling us that if we go too far into the future, we'll look at those behind as monsters.
But we can slow down a little. Time happens anyway. Neither it, nor us, can be stopped. Settle things in a true court of public opinion, make better the lives of those before us, so they can rest knowing that we'll be able take us to the next checkpoint.
We save ourselves by saving eachother. CAN YOU NOT FEEL THAT FUTURE?!
Scientists ready to go, you know, whenever.
can you not hear the echoes of a million stories telling us to GO. Find us, find you, in the future, as you were so will you be!
That city in the clouds we ALWAYS dream of, utopias of perfect community with our planet, the best of us stopping the worst before the worst happens.
Someone will always say NO before the worst, because we've made the big mistake 520 times. And we let it happen, because we just HAD to know, we just couldn't resist the urge to watch how quickly we could decimate our population.
We're the greatest monsters of this planet, and we knew it all along. But we are also it's greatest help, or we can be, if we just give in to that beast egging us forward.
CAN YOU NOT FEEL IT, OUR MINDS BECOMING ONE
#can you not feel it#tumblr philosophy#philosophy#futurism#transhumanism#cyborg#utopia#cyborg utopia#us again#us then#us forward#us onward#the future of us#c'est un vape
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Angel you're a real one for bringing up the Nancy issue in your post. For the longest I really couldn't stand how the writers just gave up on the Wheeler sibs while making the Byers, Sinclairs, Steve and Dustin, even Willel have better chemistry than Nancy and Mike.
Maybe it's cuz I have a really awesome older sister so comparing her to Nancy, Nancy falls entirely short. I want her to have an Over the Garden Wall moment (a cool cartoon I watch every autumn season) where another character points out how un-older sibling like she's being to Mike so she can do better cuz maybe she's truly unaware that this is an issue.
Cuz I don't think Nancy’s going to get it unless someone else on the outside openly talks to her about how she's just not there for Mike in the way she thinks she is. We've never seen Nancy be observant to Mike like how the Byers notice something's off about Will so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she can't see what's in front of her cuz the Wheelers only cared when danger was right at their doorstep (Ted and Karen when the government showed up, at the town meeting when Jason started the manhunt)
Nancy's following the theme of being her parents in recognizing something is wrong too late like in s1 when she worried about Mike and never even thought that he could be in danger when his literal best friend Will is missing, along with Barb.
So I dunno, I see Nancy reflecting her parents in that way of never knowing that Mike is also in the pathway of danger nearly constantly AKA a target of the same entity/mysterious bad guy that took Will twice (physically and possession wise)
Anyways sorry for the long ask but I just hate how they write Nancy and Mike's dynamic with no progression in 4 whole seasons. She has survivors guilt from losing Barb and protects everyone else but she leaves Mike in the dust
hi lex ~! please never apologise for long asks, i love to analyse characters (even if i don't do it often).
yes to all you said !! i don't know if the writers chose to completely ignore the wheeler siblings on purpose so there can be a cool storyline with them in s5 (or if they simply don't think their connection is important in the slightest -_- ), but i think it's factual at this point that nancy needs someone or something to knock some sense into her. it's been four seasons without her altering her behaviour in the slightest, so someone (potentially jonathan, seeing as he constantly blames himself for not being there for will) has to reach her lest something terrible happens to mike and she can't avoid caring any longer.
more than that, though, i think the crux of the problem is nancy's need for revenge. ever since s1 it's been well established that she feels entirely responsible for what happened to barb and, being unable to bring her back, has chosen to focus her energy into harming those she feels are also at fault.
so in s1 this translated to ditching the kids to go kill the demogorgon, later pretending that it was to help joyce and hopper in the upside down when it was clearly just an attempt to avenge barb. in s2, she missed out on most of what happened because she was off with jonathan and murray trying to figure out a way to make the lab pay. in s3, she's the first to get the gun ready to attack biIly and, in s4, she's the one who concocts a plan to try to kill vecna.
and while all these plans are ultimately cemented in her desire to keep the party safe, she constantly overlooks obvious flaws to her approach because a) she's only a human girl and there's not much else she can really do against their supernatural foes, and b) even if it's on a subconscious level, she has a strong bias towards violence because she's still trying to punish those who took barb from her (in lieu of punishing herself further because, as previously mentioned, she's the one she blames the most).
so, until she rids herself of this need for vengeance and starts thinking more logically, she will continue to ignore basic problems to her plans and, more importantly, the emotional needs of those around her. particularly mike, who she's grown up ignoring because that's the example her parents have set for her and who, in her mind, doesn't need to be cared for emotionally because what's there for him to be sad or traumatised about ? he got will back (twice), el back (also twice, if we consider the break-up), and he's had the least amount of near-death-experiences out of all the kids (as far as she knows).
in nancy's mind, since mike didn't lose his loved ones, there's no way he could possibly be struggling and so, anything she might actually notice, any signs she might see that defy this idea, she pushes down to keep up this self-imposed illusion. and, when she recognises her brother's behaviour in others, or sees that someone else is in danger, she chooses to hyperfocus on them so that she can continue to ignore mike's pain (or the fact that he's in danger).
,,,anyway,,, there's another half-baked analysis x.x thanks again for the ask lex !! hopefully my rambling is somewhat coherent u.u
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Demons' Emotions & Body Language
Because why the hell not talk about something that has probably been written/talked about a hundred times before? XD
I'm in the mood to write about Mephisto because my brain is occupied by thoughts of him in some way 99% of the time.
This was spurred on by once again seeing Mephisto's great teeth appreciation and it reminded me of how much I actually love looking at his facial expressions in general.
He's just so fucking good at expressing himself, lol. And then I begin to wonder...
How much of it is staged/faked/put on, how much comes natural to him? If even at all?
Did he have a period where he tested out all the different facial expressions humans tend to make in certain situations? Did he go and study them? Is it like a game for him? Knowing the Human-Emotions-101 better than even humans themselves, just to have even more power and control over his cute toys?
^Ch. 46
We know he's a little stalker gremlin, so people watching is one of his greatest hobbies - it would certainly help him out with accurately mimicking their body language.
Did he have a rough time when he first started to make contact with humans face to face? :( Because I know that even humans struggle with body language and facial expressions.
Totally not looking at me, who's often laughing and smiling, simply hoping it's appropriate because I often don't fully understand what's going on. :')
Considering Mephisto is a pro at acting all human or demon (depending on which outcome he wants to reach, making certain behaviors necessary to manipulate everyone's actions) with how much time he has spent with humans and his obsession with them and their creations...
What is it like for all the demons possessing human bodies?
Amaimon seems to struggle a lot using the muscles in his face, if that side-story panel is anything to by. XD
Moving a sack of flesh can be rough, buddy. I feel you there, my resting bitch face often scares strangers and I have to always check in to make sure I don't look as dead as I feel.
Amaimon is obviously able of actually showing emotions, evident in the manga, but I think there's one he expresses more often than others: anger.
Thinking of anger... There's Satan.
^Ch. 105
Before he came into (regular) contact with Yuri he could only show anger when threatened/searching for Yuri. All other expressions seem to have been actively taught to him over a certain span of time.
Same with Rin when he was born.
^Ch. 109
Though the threatening circumstances might have triggered/amplified that little ugly burning potato's anger. :x
Looking towards Lucifer is pretty much the same, though his anger is often more of the hidden kind and not as openly expressed. Same with Mephisto though. Maybe it's their age (though their behavior doesn't exactly reflect maturity, both of them are brats in their own rights) or simply who they inherently are.
The rest of the demon kings are... definitely emotional and expressive too, which is weird because why would they feel the need to mimic human behaviors and expressions? (Might be reason for another ramble, this post is already so much longer than I intended for it to be XD)
In conclusion...
All of it makes me think that anger is the one emotion that demons might inherently feel and express, anything beyond is something they need to actively learn about over time.
Which is incredibly sad the more I think about it.
I also think most demons (possessing human bodies) have to consciously think about what kind of facial expression/body language goes along with whatever they're feeling - if they want to outwardly express them.
Do they even feel the need to do that in the first place though? And if yes, why? Considering they don't have bodies in Gehenna, it wouldn't make much sense for them to inherently have some body language if they don't have bodies that support it, would it?
And yet we've seen how feral demons can be, Rin is a prime example when he gets overwhelmed by his demon side. All snarling, showing teeth and growling and it's something I (and many other people) love incorporating in our writing all the time because feral demons and the way they threaten each other is just peak content that I desperately need to continue living. XD
#ao no exorcist#ane#aoex manga#ao no exorcist headcanon#aoex#blue exorcist#mephisto#demons#demon kings#demon behavior#fan theory#at the end of the day I just wanna touch those teeth and ears#and then get bitten/mauled to death by one of the demon kings#preferably Mephisto but at this point I'll be happy with any demon XD#just some mad ramblings of a chaotic fox#this has gotten way too long but I regret nothing#time spent thinking about demons is time well spent
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Hi, I have a sort of specific request. Could you please write a Frodo Baggins x Hobbit!reader who wants nothing more than to go on an adventure and is childhood friends with Frodo because she loved Bilbo’s stories and none of the other children wanted to play with her because she was so un-hobbitish, then eventually found herself falling in love with Frodo and so when he leaves to go on his quest she is right there at his side, stubborn and extremely excited about it all. Not a hint of nervousness. Sort of being a constant for Frodo. I’d love that very much.
If not no worries. Thank you<3
hi, @dinofromspac3! tysm for requesting! i'ma give this a shot. sorry if the wait was longer, i went to the gym last night and didn't have time to write this. but here we go! hope ya like it :)!
Frodo and I have known each other for a long time. We've known each other since he moved in with his Uncle Bilbo after his parents drowned in some freak boating accident. The poor thing was so distraught for the first few months, and I didn't blame him. I'd often go over with some of his friends so that I could hear Mr. Bilbo's famous, un-Hobbitish adventures. His adventures made me want to go on my own adventure. A lot of Hobbit children thought I was queer as I wistfully dreamed about my own adventures, and didn't really speak to me. But I was okay with that. At least I had Merry, Pippin, Sam, and, of course, Frodo.
Eventually, Frodo asked me if I wanted to go out and pretend to have an adventure like his uncle once did. Of course, we never ventured anywhere outside the Shire. It was not our business to know what the folks from distant lands were up to. Most likely, wars. And adventures, now to think about that. Apparently, Hobbits were nonexistent to the Men, Elves, and Dwarves, and didn't even bother coming to invade the Shire because they knew nothing about it. We were grateful for that, at least. But at the same time, life got a little boring, since we had nothing to do.
Eventually, I found myself falling for Frodo. I didn't want to, but my thoughts were on no one else but him. He was probably the sweetest human being on this entire planet. And I didn't like him because of the large fortune he'd soon inherit from his uncle. The only person who knew I had a crush on the Baggins heir was Rosie Cotton, my friend from the Green Dragon.
When Frodo had gone home with Sam, I went along with them. And soon, Sam and I found ourselves eavesdropping on Frodo's and Gandalf's conversation about a once-lost ring that he was currently in possession of. And soon, we found ourselves going on this adventure, which made me even more nervous than before. Because I knew that what Frodo was carrying was dangerous. I was scared for him, and his life. But so far, everything seemed as normal as it could be. That is, until we reached Weathertop.
I never left his side during that time when he was mortally wounded. I was there at his side the entire time, letting him hold his hand in mine. When a she-elf came to whisk Frodo away to safety, Sam had to hold me back.
"I don't want to leave him!" I exclaimed through tears as I tried to yank myself out of Sam's grip. But his hold was too tight on my arms. I couldn't do anything except to watch as Frodo was whisked away from me.
"I think she's getting him to safety, Miss y/n," Sam tried to reassure me.
Although it did comfort me slightly, I was still nervous about the fact that I could possibly lose my best friend. If I went back to the Shire without him, life would be more dull and boring than it had been before. I wouldn't have a reason to live.
Luckily, Frodo had managed to survive, and I hardly left his side, no matter how tired he was. And when he woke up, I was there to greet him, relieved that he was alive and alright. I stayed by his side before Sam had to pull me away from him so that I could get some rest.
Soon after the council was over, and the Hobbits and I had joined, I could hear Merry and Pippin complaining quite loudly amongst themselves in the garden about mine and Frodo's friendship.
"All they've been doing is giving each other googly, heart-shaped eyes to each other for years. And I'm getting kinda sick of it," Merry complained to Pippin.
"They should be together by now. I'm tired of them standing at a distance and not saying anything."
"You know what, Pip. I'm thinking the exact same thing. They should have confessed their feelings to each other by now."
It took me a moment to realize that they were talking about me and Frodo. I blushed brightly, and pretended to not hear what Merry and Pippin were saying.
Great, they noticed?
I turned and tip-toed away before the duo found out I had been eavesdropping. But not even an hour later, Merry and Pippin found me in my room as I was reading a book I had found from Lord Elrond's large library.
"You could knock next time, ya know," I commented without bothering to look up. I kept my nose buried in the book. "It's not that hard."
The duo ignored me.
"Tell us, y/n," said Pippin. "Do you have a crush on Frodo?"
That got me to look up in surprise, but I quickly recovered, trying to shrug the feeling off.
"No. Why do you bother asking?"
"C'mon, y/n! For years, you've been giving him heart-shaped, lovey-dovey eyes and you never say anything about it! I'm getting a little sick of it." Merry complained
"It's because I'm scared, alright?" I snapped in return.
"C'mon. You shouldn't be scared of confessing, y/n. He likes you, too," Merry insisted.
"You're just saying that so that my hopes can get up," I grumbled as I continued to flip through the book I'd found.
"No! Y/n, we swear to the Valinor, that he likes you back!" Pippin pleaded. I glared at him, not entirely convinced that he was telling me the entire truth.
"And we think that we may know where to find him," Merry added, winking at me.
"It's nighttime. Frodo's probably in bed, and I'm not going to disturb him just to tell him that I like him."
"Oh, come on! You're no fun, y/n! Can you please just trust us? Just this once?"
I glared at them and then sighed, putting my book down.
"Alright, since you asked so nicely." That got both of the boys to cheer. "But don't think that I'll let you off that easily!"
I got up and followed them, letting the duo pull me along. Almost immediately, I regretted letting them do this to me. But at the same time, I knew that I had to confess to Frodo at some point, because I had no idea what our future holds. Any of us could die during this quest.
They led me to the courtyard. Not the same one we'd had the meeting in, but a completely different one.
"Isn't about time that everyone was in bed by now?" I asked, clearly confused.
"Well, not everyone," Merry hinted mysteriously. He then shoved me in the shoulders, trying to get me to go. "Well, go on."
I knew exactly what he was doing. But I sighed and entered the courtyard. There, sitting on the stone bench of Rivendell, was Frodo. He gazed up at the stars. He was so immersed in watching the stars that he jumped when I finally approached him.
"Y/n," he greeted. He patted the empty space next to him, giving me room to sit. "What brings you here?"
"Uh. . . . I dunno. Couldn't sleep, I guess," I quietly replied. "And I guess that I needed some fresh air."
That was partially true. I couldn't sleep, so I had gone ahead and read the book I'd found in Elrond's fancy library. I turned my gaze to the sky, watching the little pinpricks of light twinkling overhead.
"The stars look beautiful tonight," I finally commented.
"Not as beautiful as you," Frodo unexpectedly commented. I turned to stare at him in surprise. He then realized what he'd said, and his eyes went wide. "I-I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have said that! Not this quickly, anyways —"
I only shook my head in reply, smiling softly. I pressed my lips firmly against his, kissing him softly. He tensed, at first, clearly surprised, before melting into the kiss. He wrapped his arms gently around my waist, bringing me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck, wanting him close to me.
He bit my lower lip, asking politely for entrance. I giggled and granted his request. He explored my mouth, and I explored his. The feeling gave me butterflies. I never wanted this moment to end.
"Gross! Get a room, you two!" Pippin complained loudly. His voice caused us to break apart.
"Quit ruining the moment, you fool of a Took!" I retorted.
"You know what? I think we will get a room," Frodo hastily replied. "C'mon, y/n."
He grabbed my hand and led me to his room, where we snuggled together for the rest of the night.
***Whew! I hope that this was alright! Lemme know if you want any more changes :)!***
#frodo baggins#fluff#cute#lotr#lotr frodo#frodo baggins imagines#frodo x reader#frodo baggins x reader#sweetheart#cute moments#adorable#lots of fluff#fluffy#perfect moment#pippin ruins the moment#y/n#y/n x frodo#rivendell#middle-earth#tolkien
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While I do definitely wholly agree that no perspective or technique is universally useful and helpful for everyone, I definitely think there is value in being open to the perspectives and techniques that we've dismissed in a limited and specific way when we struggle.
For instance, I use parts language and view the system, including myself as a part as all being part of a collective singular me. It's why I tend not to use we/us a lot. I, and the other mes take ownership of all actions taken by petty much everyone in the system because this creates a sense of cohesion and continuality that allow us to function. It reduces daily amnesia because we're not constantly trying to distance ourselves from each other and generally reduces friction around decisions trusting that they're made with the system in mind rather than personally for each part. HOWEVER, I've always hated myself. I have incredibly negative opinions about who I am and punish myself a lot for just being me or not being a better version of me. Any mistakes I make are treated with severe prejudice and I don't accept nice things because I feel like I don't deserve them.
I would never treat anyone else like that though, I wouldn't think these things about a friend. And so for these issues it IS useful to view my parts as completely separate people, to think of them as friends or colleagues or family, because I can show them the compassion I cannot show myself. If an alter fucks up or does something harmful I can remember that they come from a history of pain and isolation, I can understand their actions and forgive them, think about what they might need from me to heal and help them move on because I truly believe that everyone is deserving of rehabilitation.
Sometimes though, I have to reverse engineer this situation. Often an issue with persecutors is that they feel rejected, their actions and behaviours were once a helpful coping mechanism but when our lives changed and we moved on it became less and less appropriate to do those things. They get stuck doing the only thing they know how to do and become increasingly frustrated that it's no longer working or being appreciated by the system. They're hostile to everyone else because they've been treated with hostility and aren't open to reconciliation because by that time it's like "oh what? Now you want to talk? Fuck you". To write them off is to confirm what they think about themselves. That they're bad and evil and so what's the point in getting better because they don't deserve compassion or acceptance from the system. Sound familiar?
So what do I do? Well, from my distanced perspective I then have to approach it with curiosity. Why might I behave this way? What scenario might lead me to do these things? What environment might convince me that this is a necessary thing to do? Can I find empathy with this position or similarities? Could that be a point of connection through which to make a connection? To show that I truly understand what they're going through and genuinely want to help?
Or even, am I subconsciously a willing participant in this dynamic? I hate myself, right? Do I think I deserve these things to do be done to me? At one point in time is this behaviour what I thought showing love was? Is this what it meant to be cared for to me back then? Does this situation feel safer to me in a way because pain and suffering is the devil I know?
In Existential Kink, Carolyn Elliott believes that we create painful scenarios for ourselves because our brains desire a more complete human experience, the good with the bad, and the more we conciously reject and resent the bad the more we desire it and create badness for ourselves. It is only by accepting this desire and gratifying ourselves by enjoying it and being grateful for the terrible things that happen that we can move on and seek out the good. Which is...definitely one of the takes of all time. I definitely take issues with the implications of victim blaming that are prevalent throughout her book, but there is insight to be drawn for sure. And in fact, the number one recommended approach to a persecutor is gratitude. To thank them for doing what they do, to show them that they're appreciated for their role and what they're trying to do, because from that position it may very well be more possible to provide constructive criticism. You have to mean it though, because by living in your head they can usually tell your true feelings.
And I completely understand why that might feel impossible to do when you feel like what they do is unforgivable, but there's a very important lesson that everyone needs to learn if they want to grow. And that's that sometimes it is up to us to take responsibility for a situation, even when we really shouldn't have to, even when it so completely isn't our fault or fair in the slightest. If what a persecutor needs to feel to change their behaviour is gratitude and acceptance, to feel that they really are a vital part of the system just like everyone else, and by providing this for them we can make things better for ourselves and the rest of the system, to create a net positive effect on all regards, then... shouldn't we? Not because of some moral duty to do the right thing or be the better person, but simply because things would be better?
Like, if there's a $1000 dollars on a table that's free for you to take, if you don't take it then no one will get it, it's only there for you to take or not with no judgement or consequences either way even if you feel like there will be, would you really not take it? And if not, then why? Do you think it's a trick? Do you think that you don't deserve it? You see how these all loop around and connect to each other?
This post is long and confusing because these situations are complicated and don't have any simple answers. All I'm trying to highlight and urge everyone to do is to never stop being curious. Always ask yourself questions, always approach something from a different angle. Especially when you come across obstacles that feel impossible. If anything that I've said feels completely wrong to you, rather than dismissing it as not being applicable to you ask yourself why you feel like it doesn't? If your persecutor is actually irredeemable and evil but mine are not, what makes you different than me? Is it easier for you to think that because then you don't have to put in the work? Does it make you feel special to have a kind of persecutor someone else doesn't? If what I'm saying right now offends you, is there a possibility, however small you think it may be, that deep down it might be true?
No, I don't think you can say for certain that every persecutor is a misguided protector, but what if the one you've decided definitely isn't actually is? What if you're wrong about them? What if you can fix it and make things better? Shouldn't you try? Why not?
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09/06/2023, 3PM EST
actually, the other me in my head drawls, your feelings
on 200mg of caffeine and a handful of poems
aren't any more true or valid than your regular feelings.
which is true, admittedly. there's nothing any more noble
about these tears than my other ones. or the sarcastic
comeback to a friend's joke. or the panicked words of
advice that spill from my lips when i don't know how to make
it better.
the way the world maintains its beauty is by ignoring
whatever a random human has to say about it.
the flowers still spread their petals when you're
not there to snap a picture. the stars still twinkle
and combust and send us little messages, even without
our expensive telescopes. the neurons in your brain
are busy as always, even if you forget to think about
thinking about thinking.
my little brother turned 17 today. this is no sweet 16 or
big adult 18. and i once again did have to check with my mum
was it the 6th or the 7th? (we mix it up. often. sixth and seventh of september are easily confused.)
17 isn't a particularly momentous age. except when it is,
when i first ventured into a new chapter at that exact age.
as far i'm concerned, my brother is still a 12 year old and i am still
a 17 year old and i am still a beacon of hope and great media recommendations. of course.
to remember a date is awfully inconvenient. like the 26th. or the 22nd. or the 20th of another month.
i remember birthdays i have no use of and i forget birthdays of
people i hug daily. i'm sorry, i hope you never find out which category you fall into.
love is awfully confusing. most days i think i don't love you
at all, because i think i have a chasm where the usual
heart is supposed to be. other times i think
god, our ordinary days were so beautiful. but only in retrospect,
only when i'm no longer in that moment with you.
the way we maintain love is by pretending we don't at all. to
focus only on the flowers in february and the exciting first date.
nevermind the fact that everything i touch has been touched by another.
nevermind the way we love and get hurt and then love all over again.
not entirely out of choice, mind you. we simply cannot exist
in this world without encountering others, and we cannot control
the little loves that spring in our hearts. so fucking stubborn.
i still don't remember your birthday, except for when i do, or when i write it down in a calendar. and i still can't forget your birthday, though by now we've spent more years as strangers than we did friends. horrifying. i loved you.
say the physicists have their breakthrough and we can
capture every particle's activity from the beginning of time
in the world's most convoluted and ugly equation. horrifying.
they're going to look at some fluctuation of one electron out of
a near infinite number and they won't even know it's from my one
action potential of a countably uncountable number of them,
from the time i thought of you.
#my poetry#this makes no sense#but its recorded on the final wall of the internet now. that its my little brother's birthday. and that i too was once 17.
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losing my mind over the "you could just be a human or a cat" line. the implications are boggling.
I don't even know what to do with that line. I mean yes, Remnant has a fairy tale in which faunus were created by combining humans and animals of comparable human intelligence (which, notably, is information that doesn't exist in RWBY proper), so from that very limited perspective there's a division within the faunus. But really, that's a fictional moral. A metaphor. In-world Blake is an allegory for a minority character; she's a human with characteristics that other her due to bias and systemic discrimination. To paraphrase another post I saw tonight, that's like telling a person of color, "You could be a human or the color black." What are you even talking about?
I can't even get into how this is presumably stemming from Blake's own subconscious, or how she suddenly thinks she needs to be a "bridge" between humans and faunus when she hasn't mentioned her "culture" since Volume 5 - a culture that doesn't exist when set against humans or other faunus. Faunus with cat ears live precisely the same as those with bunny ears who are the same as those with color changing abilities... who are culturally indistinguishable from humans. Is Blake's "culture" then that she's biologically addicted to fish? Will follow a laser pointer? Inevitably terrifies mice?
That's actually the worst part of this for me. We could have grimaced at this, but ultimately chalked it up as one, incredibly ill-thought-out line. However, in four episodes we've already had Blake present herself as a Literal Cat twice more: once when Little freaks out and Blake doesn't correct them and then again in this episode when she tries to steer the Curious Cat by speaking "one cat to another." Everyone remembers "Stop calling him a rapscallion. Stop calling him a degenerate. He's a person!" yeah? After years of having Blake fighting for the equal treatment of faunus and the understanding that they're not animals, now she's reversed to literally talking about herself like she is, in fact, at least half animal, while also being tempted to fully become one.
It's by no means a new problem, but seeing the girls' old designs really hammered home how the writing has betrayed their core personalities and motivations. Blake hasn't cared about faunus rights for four Volumes and has no problem with being thought of as an actual cat. Yang went from accepting that her disability is a part of her to claiming it's unimportant and, weirdly, saying she has to find things in her future rather than just acknowledging that, yes, she did suffer an actual, literal loss and has since worked through that? Weiss is no longer our slowly improving Ice Queen but Nora Lite, making the same broad claims about rehabilitating the Schnee name as she had back in Volume 2, but with none of the acknowledgement of how tainted that name has become after [gestures vaguely] everything she's been through. And our simple soul no longer has enough hope to fill a jar. The last reversal is at least compelling in terms of the potential character development, but considering that Volume 9 has, thus far, interrupted that development at every turn (meeting Little, fainting, walking away from conversations, being saved by the Curious Cat) I am not feeling very hopeful this week.
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Dialogue prompts
Plz note that most of them are not my own, I got them as inspo from pinterest 'TFR's writing prompts'
And some are mine. Feel free to use these, send requests pleasee.
"Can pleople please stop boarding my ship without my authorization?"
"Don't breathe on that, it's expensive."
"Aww, look at them, so young and willing to get themselves killed."
"Please stop getting shot, it stresses me out." "Well, if you don't like it."
"Sitting around, waiting to get kidnapped. This is the best day ever!"
"Can someone explain to me, in small words, why I'm being assigned this mission?"
"You don't strike me as a professional assassin." "That's what makes me good at it."
"A is for organization." "According to what alphabet?"
" hey, I didn't kill anyone today!" "And what do you want? A gold star?"
"Are you even listening?" "Yeah, it just takes me a while to process so much stupid at once."
"Can someone tell me why this coffee tastes like apples?"
"Did someone turn off the lights?" "No" "Then I think we have a problem."
"Don't you yell at me in lanuages I don't understand!"
"One of those days I'm gonna murder you." "Well, that's not at all comforting."
"Sorry I hung up on you, I didn't mean to answer the call."
"I'm not here to fight." "really? cause I am."
"You-you are-" "beautiful, a genius, immensely talented-" "Dangerous."
"Do you need a hand?" "Does it look like I need your help?" "Do you want me to answer that or would you like to maintain plausible deniability for later?"
"Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?" "Not until four."
"well, if I'm going down, you're coming with."
"What happened!" "She's stupid!" "She's you!" "well, I'm stupid!"
Are you flirting or starting a fight?" "I haven't decided yet."
"If I ever say 'Do you want me to be honest' again, please say No."
"You're not my favourite person today." "well, I'm not your favourite on any day!"
"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
"I assume I deserve this, but can you tell me why you want to kill me this time?"
" You are the worst human being on the face of this planet!" "Thanks! you, too."
"Do you know that humans make great fertiliser for soil?" "why do you know that?"
"You're an assassin!?" "We've been best friends for literally 2 days, Why are you so shocked?" "I just thought I'd get a normal friendship for once." "what do you mean 'for once'?
"We're surrounded." "Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"
"you're judging me!" "it's very hard not to!"
"I can fix that." "I'm calling a professional." "I'm a professional." "A more professional professional."
"This is what, the third time I've crashed my own funeral? "Fifth." "Really? That many?"
"it's not my birthday." "it's definitely your birthday." "Give me a calendar. it's not and I will prove it to-oh. Never mind. Happy birthday to me."
"literally everything about this is illegal."
"small fire! I said a small fire this is not small!"
"just because I'm helping doesn't mean I care, Your death would be an inconvenience, that's all."
"stop that!" "stop what?" "making that thing with your face when you're happy, it makes me nauseous."
"I already did my part. if you want anything, ask anyone but me."
"Didn't I kick you out already?" "yes, but-" "No. Out."
"Wow, two minutes and they are already at each other's throats." "That took longer than expected."
"you're one insult away from starting a war."
"I regret nothing." "Because you don't. remember what you're supposed to regret."
"I've missed you." "Oh, please you almost killed me a minute ago!" "It varies from moment to moment."
"Please don't tell me you're bringing her." "She's harmless!" "She shot you.twice." "It was an honest mistake."
"How's the water?" "As cold as your heart." "Well then, it's warm enough for a bath."
"I have to take credit for this." "you mean 'blame'."
"Are we good?" "Debatable." "Do you still want to kill me?" "Not right now." "Then, we're good."
"How do you live with yourself?" "It includes a lot of lying."
"I'm very disappointed in you." "Well, get in line."
"What would you do if today was your last day on earth?" "Kill a whole lot of people." "Oh, so a normal day then." "Exactly."
#the umbrella academy#whump prompt#whovians#dialogue prompt#doctor who silence#loki#marvel#the legend of korra#caretaker#skye ward#writing dialogue#writing ideas#ideas#requests open#open requests#love you guys
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