#i think she deserves to kill everyone. as a treat
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Hi i read your sad Grayson hcs and can you pls make Jamie's next thanx 💕💕
sad jameson head canons
YES! i love jamie sm, he's the best brother out of the four of them. this might resemble my sad grayson hcs post bc i find them quite similar at their core (i'm gonna make a post about that someday). again, trigger warning for self-harm and suicidal thoughts/attempts. pls don't read this if these things trigger you. i also got kind of tired near the end so the last ones aren't as good as the first ones. hope you like them<3
jameson used to watch his brothers and wonder if he actually belonged in the family with them.
he has random scars all over his body. he tells people they're from his many risky adventures but, in reality, they're self harm scars.
jameson, instead of denying himself food and water like grayson when gets self destructive, just does all of the risky shit he can come up with hoping one of those things would kill him.
when he was 16, he bought pills he was planning on overdosing on. on the day he was supposed to go through with it, though, nash surprised him with a day trip to the beach with his brothers. he had so much fun, he completely forgot about his plans. (there was a smiliar hc in the grayson post i think, but i actually think it might fit jamie better cause gray would feel like he couldn't leave all of his responsibilities behind)
he would use the shards of broken alcohol bottles he broke on purpose to cut himself.
when he gets mad at himself or anxious, he'll pull at his hair really roughly.
grayson once told him to kill himself as a joke, but jamie took it to heart and that's the reason why he has that really long scar on his chest (gray is basically the reason he jumped off of that cliff repeatedly until tobias caught him) (sorry grayson stans i still love gray though)
people who asked him out on dates always broke it off weeks later bc they found him plain and careless (which doesn't make sense bc he's not). jamie put everything he had in these relationships even if they only lasted like a week. they offered him nothing.
i mentioned this in my sad grayson hc post, but i feel like it applies to jamie more; jamie pisses people off on purpose to anger them and make them leave when he gets self-destructive. he secretly hopes someone will see through the act but they never do (except for avery, he doesn't treat her like shit though, but she knows when he does it to others)
jamie, as a kid, was convinced smth was wrong with him. he'd look in the mirror for hours on end wondering why it was so hard for people to love him and truly see him (and for him to love himself).
jamie saw a therapist for a while who prescribed him anti-depressants. she insisted he come back for more visits bc she was afraid he would off himself but he never did.
jamie wants help but doesn't think he deserves it. he thinks he's overreacting most of the time and won't let himself get better.
although it might not look like it, jamie actually tried really hard in school to measure up to xander and gray. he would study is ass off to get grades like xander's and grayson's (he was very very good in school, but never as good as his brothers, and that made him think of himself as unworthy)
jamie's waiting for the day that avery realizes that he's not good enough for her and leaves him, but she reassures him he's stuck with her.
when he gets mad at himself, he goes to their indoor gym and punches the punching bag repeatedly until his knuckles start bleeding (and even then, he might keep going)
he also takes scalding showers as a way to hurt himself (scalding as in might burn his skin off)
he's a nail biter. he also bites the skin around his cuticles when he's feeling really shitty.
he used to listen to the way his grandfather talked to/about his brothers and think that they'd be better off without him (tobias was never as kind to jamie as he was to his brothers).
ever since thea turned everyone against him at school, he sits in the back of the school library during lunch. he looks at the people hanging out with their friends whilst they eat wishing he could be more likeable.
he used to write letters to his father and give them to tobias hoping he'd send them to his father (he never did)
multiple times, while driving, he would consider purposely getting himself in a car crash to not have to deal with himself anymore
he used to ask nash if he was a good enough brother when he was younger. nash died a little bit inside every time.
jamie sometimes sits outside gray's door, crying, wishing he could someday be enough for him (gray in the first book is actually kind of a shit brother to jamie. he acts as if jamie is lesser than him and it pisses me off)
when jamie was younger, he would show grayson things that he did that he was proud of hoping grayson would be proud of him too. grayson thought he was being annoying (i love gray, don't get me wrong but i feel like he'd do this not knowing how much it meant to jamie...)
jamie never asks for help/advice bc he thinks of himself as a burden.
he used to steal stuff when he was little bc he was desperate to have smth that was actually his and not gray's. (emily, tobias' attention, etc were never actually his) (@catapparently came up with this one)
he doesn't believe people when they tell him they love him. he thinks they're bluffing/pitying him.
jameson accepts the bare minimum from people bc he believes no one would ever be willing to give him more than scraps of love.
whenever he has panic attacks, he bangs his head on walls to try to put an end to them. he ends up with big bruises on his forehead but pretends he got them from his adventures and shit.
he used to have nightmares a lot as a kid where the people he loved left him. when he would wake up from them, he would consider looking for his brothers for comfort but he never did bc he was scared that they would make his nightmares come true.
he hates being vulnerable bc every single time he's opened up to people, they either thought he was overreacting or didn't bother staying/helping him. whenever he saw them leave he would blame himself for being too much.
he practices his fake smiles in the mirror every morning. everyone sees through them except for avery.
he has this one blanket that he got as a child that he used to talk to when he needed to vent (he wouldn't vent to his brothers cause he didn't wanna bother them). tobias thought it was childish and threw it away. jamie didn't let anyone see, but he cried every night for a full month.
he had this tradition where he would cut himself whenever tobias called him ordinary or unworthy. the amount of scars on his body just discourages him and makes him hate himself even more.
a happier jamie head canon to end this:
he used to post tutorial on youtube when he was like 7. he had some for slime making, cartwheels, sand castle building etc. he actually had quite a large following bc he was a hawthorne. he always responded to fand and followed them back. the comments he'd receive always made him super happy (same, i love receiving comments, they make my day)
i know i've said this in every sad hcs post, but i feel the need to do it again. if you ever feel like life isn't worth living or just need help in general, pls reach out to a friend or a helpline. sending lots of love to everyone <3.
#the inheritance games#jameson hawthorne#grayson hawthorne#avery grambs#nash hawthorne#xander hawthorne#averyjameson
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♡ " A mess "
Pairing: Jude Jazza x Kate (MC)
CW: lots of cursing + jealous jude!! (Tho it isn't much of a warning, lol.)
Note: My 2nd entry for @judejazza 's event!! I hope everyone likes this Jude fic <3 divider & header by the lovely @natimiles
Jude's eyes followed her figure as soon as she entered the dining room. Her smile lacked its usual cheerfulness, and her eyes looked sad.
That expression of Kate's broke something inside of him. This wasn't the first time she was wearing that look. Of course. She was living in a castle with cursed people, but Jude knew that wasn't why she looked so down.
Jude clicked his tongue in annoyance, but his eyes quickly looked her over... making sure she was doing physically well... that she wasn't harmed. He quickly looked away.
He was pissed. Very fucking pissed if he had to be honest. Whatever they both had going on was messing with both his head and heart. Jude Jazza was smart, but he couldn't find it in himself to put a name to their "relationship."
When she got hurt, he had wanted to kill all of those people right then and there. Her smile brought a strange sense of calm over him. She was beautiful -- fuck. Shit. He mentally cursed himself and faced her.
"How was yer date?" He basically spat the words out with that sadistic grin on his face.
Kate huffed and narrowed her eyes, looking angry. "Why are you looking so smug, Jude?"
He barked out a laugh, leaning back on the chair. "Smug? Whatcha talkin' about, Princess?"
"Do you take pleasure in seeing me hurt?"
Jude looked at her straight in the eye. "Ya should have the answer to that already."
Her face was red. Kate was fuming. The earlier hints of sadness from her expression were all gone.
"Why do you even care? Huh?" She questioned him, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I don't fuckin' care." Jude replied, expression mirroring hers.
"Then you shouldn't act like you do. Even if he didn't come to the spot--"
He threw the newspaper in front of him, a little too aggressively.
"Then ya will agree to meet that fucker again? Even if he stood ya up two times already? Princess, do ya have any self-respect?"
Kate gasped. "Jude! Just what is your problem? I don't get it!"
Shit. He messed up. Her eyes were filled with tears and... he was the cause. Jude mentally laughed at himself. He was warning Kate about a guy while he was the worst of them all. Surely, the Princess deserves better.
He took slow strides towards her. "Do ya like him?"
"... What?"
"That lousy fucker who can't even show up on a date, and stood ya up twice."
"That's none of your concern."
He took slow strides towards her, but Kate wasn't moving back. She stood still in her place, curious to see what he was going to do. Her eyes were fixed on him, studying his every expression and movement. Kate's eyes were shining as always, but she had changed so much...
She turned even more beautiful.
"He doesn't deserve ya. Ya are wastin' too much of your time." He said nonchalantly, bending down slightly to meet her eyes. "Or do ya like bein' stood up?"
"I can't understand you, Jude Jazza..." Kate breathed out, eyes narrowing once again in fury. "You push me away, say harsh things, then act like you care about me. Just what do you want?"
He clicked his tongue, and they both kept staring at each other. They weren't able to break eye contact, or they just didn't want to. Jude wondered... just what was she actually thinking?
He reached out to wipe a tear that had escaped from her eye. His hand was rough from his line of work, but his touch was gentle.
Kate's reddened cheeks, her big eyes filled with curiosity, her laughter and giggles, the way she would listen to him, and how she had tried to keep him safe during missions... that was all so precious to Jude.
"He can't treat ya good, ya dummy." He said softly.
Kate was silent for a while, but then she spoke in an equally soft voice.
"If he can't... then can you? What are you implying, Jude...?"
His expression as he looked at Kate was so gentle, so soft. There was no sarcasm in his voice as he replied, "Yeah, if ya don't trust my words, then wanna test it out?"
He chuckled upon seeing her flustered and surprised expression. Yeah... he wouldn't trade her for the world...
#☆ musings ☆#ikevil x reader#ikevil imagines#ikemen villains#jude x reader#ikevil jude#invitation2crowncc
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conflicting desires for lyke and duvall in sangfielle season 2:
-duvall low-key resenting lyke over the chine thing
-lyke high-key resenting duvall over the oratorio thing and EXPECTING duvall to resent him over chine but instead it's the same one-sided tension that they had on the jade moon
i want them to be involuntary friends. I want it to look like a huge 8ft tall straight* guy calling his obviously gay best friend a wretched bitch and everyone is a little uncomfortable about it except for duvall, who may or may not be behind lyke's bizarrely bad luck when it comes to flies landing in his drinks.
(*i don't think lyke is straight but i do think he's the type of bisexual man that people assume is straight)
#broken record voice#i don't often have trans headcanons actually but sangfielle is an exception...#to me the blackwick group is T4TvsT4TvsT+ marn#lyke is joyfully trans - he's 8 ft tall because he went overboard with the transition magic#pickman and duvall are both stealth because they grew up in oppressive societies#pickman is deeply uncomfortable how vulnerable it makes her feel - she doesn't exactly hide it but will kill u for mentioning it#duvall does hide it but only because he's been hate crimed#until sapodilla - after which he receives the most idealized form of instant-srs from the bugs that his gender euphoria sky rockets#and he doesn't tell anyone exactly but everyone in the blackwick group clocks him on the change#pickman hates it and thinks he doesn't deserve such an easy out#lyke wouldprobably be happy for him if he wasn't pissed over the oratorio#es is the most well adjusted and is privately very happy for him but polite enough not to mention it#chine is trans but in the “this animal does not experience human gender and it's inappropriate to even try to make sense of it” way#chine is also the only one who has seen duvall in every stage of transition and has been enthusiastically supportive the whole time#marn is cis but if any of them hadn't already transitioned then she'd be trying to treat it like a curse to be cured.#i think pickman has had the most traditional medical transition because she distrusts magic - until she meets marn who absolutely#already has a recipe for an hrt-charm and gives one to her#duvall did some sort of terrible black-market medical transition in aldomina - the kind where he had to lie to ten thousand therapists#to convince them that he was actually a straight man and so he should be allowed to transition because a straight trans guy is safer#to society than a lesbian?? that type of horrorshow. meanwhile he's exclusively mlm (or as exclusive as he can be while fucking chine)#which pickman would have respected because to be trans is to suffer for it but nooo instead she didn't even know he was trans until the bug#transition#es is just chill. duvall eventually got a magical bug transition? well es is the magical bug for syntyche#sorry this went way off topic#i am avoiding going to work can you tell? woops#this was all to basically say that i think it'd be funny if#before the bug transition duvall low-key resented lyke for having been able to access magic transition. some guys have all the luck
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series 3 is so frustrating because there is like a shining core of pure diamond underneath the problems . like conceptually it rocks so incredibly hard. but the problems
#dr who#i am being so honest when i say ten should have gotten on his knees and begged for simm!master's life#they should have framed the bit between him and martha's mom so different#like yes it is 10000% in character that the doctor with his bleeding heart and loneliness wouldn't want to kill him#even after everything that happened. because he's the only person he has left. 'i forgive you' was PERFECT.#but literally anyone else that suffered from what the master did. Deserves to rip him to shreds. so very obviously#and like i know.i KNOW that i am watching the 'funny immortal alien saves people through time and space' show#but i actually despise the doctor being framed as like an all powerful savior. or treated like one. even for a little bit. is Annoying#the first part of the series 3 finale having martha be humanity's last hope was SO GOOD bc it like kind of set her up as like#having to grapple with all that responsibility and attention like the doctor does. everyone's lives are in her hands. so crunchy#but when it like slides into 'everyone pls believe in our specialest boy in the world The Doctor <3' it just. falls flat#i feel like with a couple tweaks here and there in the execution and like actual fuckinnn people of color in the writer's room#series 3 would be PEAK media. but as it is it's just. falling short.#i do really appreciate martha deciding to leave ten on her own though. first of all. qpp down. second of all#she's realized that she can't keep traveling with him. bc (as i mentioned) hes someone who simultaneously needs saving#and refuses to be saved in the ways that matter. Yes im fucking ignoring the unrequited romance angle i think#it does a gigantic disservice to martha's character if u boil her down to that. fight me i dont care if that was the authorial intent#martha in the end is too kind to ten and ten keeps making her watch his meandering path of self destruction. toxic doomed qprism to ME.#anyway fuck. idk man series 2 consensus was that im dead inside and series 3 consensus is that the version i have of it in my head is peak#series 2 is better but i think because of my ten martha insanity i actually enjoyed watching series 3 more than series 2.#even if i got mad at it more than any other season. i think something is wrong with me. um. lmao#ten and martha#10 era
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Hey Sleepy I know about Otto but what about Caroline? I've seen u tag oc tag stuff as Caroline. Who are they?
Thats Carolina ^_^ let me talk about her miserable life under the cut. Its under a cut cuz uhhhhh sensitive topics below. Also long as hell
Carolina is my fallout oc/sona/its complicated. We'll say shes an oc cuz shes only really a sona when im playin the games and when thats happening the pronouns are they/them but since its just me playing the they/themming is only in the head.
Shes in 3/nv/4 and dear god she goes through so much trauma. Shes a mute chick w huge anger issues who tries not to show it by constantly being @_@ about life. She had a tumor in her throat when she was 1 yr old, which if it wasnt removed would have traveled to her brain, if it didnt close off her ability to breathe first. She had to have surgery to have it removed, taking her vocal cords in the process.
She has a huge love for repairing tech such as computers and bots, and when she was in the vault she dreamed of being the person to maintain the water chip. But as you know f3 story she never got the chance, only ever being a pipboy repairmen (which she did enjoy but due to how isolated she was she wanted water chip job more so she could be more important and liked). She has an incredible memory too ✌.
Cuz of her mutism she had like almost no friends aside from amata + a few adults, only furthering her @_@ ing and not showing her emotions. This leads to FURTHER isolating cuz everyone just thinks shes weird. She struggles a lot w her self image due to this isolation and kids pickin on her for being mute + tall, leading to struggles w anorexia. Throughout the 10 yrs old f3 to f4 she tries to recover from this, but cuz the apocalyptic world is harsh she doesnt get well off at first, becoming an alcoholic alongside it, due to in f4 shes brainwashed/reprogrammed (cyborg from nv dlc) into believing shes a 200 yr old mom searching for her son. Not only brainwashed but had surgery to look like the original nora. This only worsens her self image problems when she realizes the truth. The reason shes brainwashed is cuz Father believes shes incredible, and due to her work in washington/vegas, believing she should take his place. Originally he thought she was a true vault dweller, having no radiation. By the time he found out she wasnt, it was too late. But he persisted anyway, still considering her determination and the charisma she would gain from nora to make her an excellent leader.
When she realizes shes actually NOT nora, and that they gave her a dead womans voice, thoughts, face, this leads to her almost going over the deep end, for a moment considering horrible things from making her anorexia worse for a sense of control to simply finding a hole to die in. But in the end she decides instead to combine her personality w noras, since nora is now stuck inside her. Nora is a "program" of sorts, existing in the cybernetic part of carolinas brain. She was scanned from the original noras head, who died during the capturing of shawn. Due to her being a corpse there were a lot of memories gone, so a lot was filled in or simply left blank. Shes a ghost of herself but she doesnt wanna die again, so she stays alive through carolina, the two becoming a new one. Carolina is now more vulnerable, with new thoughts, but in a way she finds a peace in it, feeling less lonely even if the company isnt entirely true. They ofc arent totally harmonious, at times being completely separate mentally, but they over time find this to be a good thing, always seeing things in a new way, coming up with better ways to solve things. Her only other constant company is f3 dogmeat, who stays by her side ever since they met. But that changes when she has to take care of shawn, who believes shes his bio mother. Now she has more company with him involved.
Originally carolina doesnt wanna take care of him, being very traumatized by what happened w Father, but in the end he wins her over, so they travel together. Ofc carolina tells shawn the truth, that shes not his mom. But he in the end decides it doesnt matter, that shes really cool and he wants her to be his mom. With this relief, she changes her face back as much as she can, and removes noras voice from her. Because of their new relationship, carolina opens up more, having a healthier lifestyle to set a good example, and making promises to not be as reckless in battle, cuz he worries about her :(. Over time she starts expressing herself more, still ofc sometimes @_@ but thats cuz she has apocalyptic autism and Is Just Like That. But overall she learns to laugh and actually be happy cuz she has someone to love again, and this time she doesnt let ppl step over her. As she recovers and loves, she gains more weight and becomes fat and strong ^-^ leading to her passion of engineering being more easy due to having more energy.... Not to mention the flustering attention she gets cuz shes a beefy woman in the apocalypse.
Tldr: i take yer gruff depressed middle aged man w daughter and raise you: gruff depressed middle aged woman w son. + cute doggy :)
#theres a lot more like her losing a foot to a bear trap and being cut open so many times without her permission#this girl is covered in scars. both surgical and battle wise#and the first time she cried being in lonesome road cuz she sees so much of herself in ulysses she knew she would die#and how she used to bury everyone she killed in f3 cuz she was raised Old Fashioned on how to treat the dead#but she stopped when her dad died cuz she started killing so many enclave she couldnt bury em all. and kinda didnt wanna.#and dont get me started on dr li and her being in both f3 and f4#and how her meeting 'nora' parallels her meeting carolina and how she Senses who she is but doesnt have proof#and thus sends nora to search for carolina‚ believing carolina to be dead but is so scared she might be alive#and how dr li didnt have a great opinion of carolina but knows if what her gut is telling her is true. is something no one deserves.#and how shes the cause for nora realizing shes carolina and how this further complicates their relationship#amd how she tries to ease this fuckin Mess by giving her resources to learn sign language so she can talk to her w/o pen and paper#and how it leads to them finally being somewhat friends and dr li being the only person carolina trusts in the institute#and how that leads to her making dr li the director so carolina can leave cuz she now fucking hates boston#and also her taking care of dogmeat when he was caged in the institute to hide him from nora. he was so so scared and she was like#holy fuck dogmeats here. that could mean shes alive. guess i gotta make sure you dont die buddy or else thatll ruin her.#and her using him to be sure that nora is carolina. and when hes so so happy to see nora when he was so shy w dr li. thats how she knew.#but she needed proof. so off nora goes#*froths a bit at the mouth thinking about dr li and nora and carolina*#the reason i chose otto instead of her for the oc poll was cuz uh. dear god theres too much to tell for her.#also dont get me started on her relationship w ulysses. the parallels... and Opposites....#ulysses being a man who always speaks. always has words. carolina being a woman who has so lil words. who refuses to speak.#the two being so full of burning rage only the other can understand. being so strong and not knowing how to be strong.#isolating themselves and committing themselves to the service of their own personal duties until they just fall over and die#both dreaming of a home that had died long ago#*pounds fists on floor*#ive been considering making a comic about her but i have Not had the time or skill yet to do it. maybe one day 💭#anyway ive been writing this answer for hours. if theres something else to be said ill just hashtag reblog and say more#also i think shes technically my oldest oc. at least the oldest thats still around. shes def older than otto thats for sure#been working on her for.... jeez. 10 yrs.
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I read the comic in one sitting less than an hour after finishing the movie, and wow I have many Thoughts™.
- It's very obvious the two versions were meant to cater to different audiences AND tell different messages. I don't get why people are going "But the comic was better! It had more nuance!" just because Nimona was easier to root for in the movie.
- The comic was written back when ND Stevenson was still trying to process a lot of stuff, so all the characters are morally grey/straight up evil and the climactic battle is between a Ballister who regrets turning against Nimona, even if it was to save others vs. a Nimona who's too hurt to care if her lashing out was going to hurt innocent people.
- By the time Nimona got a movie adaptation, ND was a lot more secure in his sexuality, so the climactic battle was Nimona vs. the Director, the symbol of religious oppression and bigotry. It's not just about your friends turning on you because you're "too much" for them anymore, it's also about a society that would rather bring itself to the brink of ruin than coexist with you.
- (I totally get why people were upset about Ballister's surname change, though. Like come on, the media dubbing him Blackheart just to be mean was RIGHT THERE).
- Nimona's metaphor for not shifting is such a neurodivergent thing. Even in the comic, Nimona's parents insisting she's a monster who replaced their daughter is reminiscent of the changeling myth, which is what many parents thought their neurodivergent kids were—changelings who replaced their "real" children.
- Ambrosius being trained to cut off HIS BOYFRIEND'S WHOLE FUCKING ARM instead of merely disarming him is a very cop thing to do. As much as cops claim they're trained to de-escalate situations, their training still teaches them to treat everyone as a potential threat, and that level of constant vigilance can turn anyone into a trigger-happy/arm-choppy bastard. Even the Director, who can use a sword but probably hasn't actually fought someone in ages, STILL can't see Ballister reaching for the squire's phone without assuming he has a weapon.
- And on that note, the Queen getting killed simply because she was trying to reform the Institution and allow commoners to become knights? That's the best "no such thing as a good cop" metaphor I've seen. Because even if there ARE good cops and they ARE in leadership positions, the system will crush them before they make any meaningful change. It's not a good institution that turned rotten, it's an institution that only exists to spread its rot and refuses to be good.
- That's why Ballister's characterisation is so different in the movie vs. the comic. Comic Ballister had 15 years to come to terms with his trauma and the Institution's evildoing, while Movie Ballister is still freshly traumatised and hasn't found a way to define himself beyond the role he was assigned by the Institution.
- Not to mention Comic Ambrosius was not very noble to begin with and genuinely believed Ballister was better suited to villainy than heroism, while Movie Ambrosius never wanted the glory that came with his lineage in the first place and only antagonised Ballister because of indoctrination he needed to unlearn (which he did, all by himself, after witnessing the lengths the Director will go to just to kill Nimona).
- It really shows how important it is to surround yourself with loved ones who are open to change. Comic Ambrosius can love Ballister all he wants, but he'll still blast his arm off because he thinks Ballister deserved it anyway. Movie Ambrosius will stop to question what "the right thing" even means, even if he didn't love Ballister enough to defend him unconditionally.
I have so many more thoughts bubbling beneath the surface, but I'll probably address them some other day. In conclusion:
[ID: A pink-haired Nimona grinning evilly while holding up a knife.]
Watch Nimona. This is not a request.
Edit: Added more thoughts!
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Well I don't think I'll ever recover from the last few episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 6
#this show has left me woth so many things that i just wont recover from#theyre going to live rent free in my brain forever#buffy spoilers ahead#the season 6 finale...#first. i support women's rights and wrongs. especially when that woman is willow rosenberg#and i think its absolute bullshit how they all treated her. like killing one person was going to destroy her#buffy saying that if she killed andrew and jonathan that would be the end of their friendship#when just a few episodes before buffy tied up all her friends in her basement to be killed by a demon#'but buffy was hallucinating' yeah and willow just had the love of her life killed in front of her#she fully deserved to be able to kill warren. rapist and murderer. andrew and jonathan weren't innocent either in any way#tell me that if the love of your life was killed in front of you and you had her powers you wouldnt do the same#look me in the eyes and tell me that you dont understand what she did#maybe she went a little far at the end by trying to destroy the world but that's subjective#she did it because she felt everyone's pain. her humanity connected with theirs and she wanted to end all of the suffering#in a misguided way#now the scene that will really live in my head rent free is when xander stops her#when his love brings her back. when he takes the pain that she gives him and still says 'i love you'#even after seeing what shes capable of. seeing that she was planning on destroying the world#and still loving her enough to spend the end of the world with her#thats what 'true love conquers all' means#see. these episodes were about love. so much love#and its hard to see that under all of the pain and vengeance. but it was all about love#willow's love for tara. xanders love for willow. giles's love for all of them#love is what started it and love is what ended it#god i could go on and on about this magnificent show#and of course it has some outdated themes. and they just killed one of the two gay characters in the show#and i am so upset about losing tara because she was one of my fav characters#but she was so loved#and this was just one of the many many praiseworthy parts of the show#i just have so many feelings about this show but im out of tags
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Good evening folks! Here's a drabble I wrote as a warm up, not my best work but it's short And it was written at three am, Enjoy!
The radio man's Wife
Alastor x female reader
Warnings:
Human Alastor, murder, Not much Alastor in here but he's here, victim blaming the dead people
You could ask anyone who had met her and they would tell you that The local radio host's wife was the sweetest person they had ever met, a real angel on earth, she'd help out her neighbors, delivering fresh baked goods to those in need, she'd help take care of the neighborhood kids while their parents got away for a night,
She was a saint, who was to know that she had married a monster? She was just another unwilling victim right?
After all,
She was just so kind!
but even those who appear kind could do the cruelest of things, sweet words secretly drenched in venom, dressed in soft unsuspecting colors, her eyes that held nothing but fondness for the person she married and distain for those who stood against him, for those who ran his name through the mud.
She'd gleefully turn a blind eye to the wicked acts he did, being nothing but a bystander, at most she threw a few sickly sweet words to the victims that left them feeling sick to the pits of their stomaches before they perished.
She'd clean up any remaining mess he left behind, making any leftover carnage into fertilizer for her beautiful garden, mopping up the blood stained floors, or digging up a deep grave in the nearby woods for him to drag a body or two into.
She willingly laid next to someone who had countless people's blood on his hands, she'd give nothing but a love-filled smile at him,
She'd dance with a repeat murderer while soft jazz played on the radio each night after dinner, after the dishes were done and dried He'd take her hand and they'd dance.
She'd give a small kiss on the cheek, telling him to stay safe and leave him to his business slaughtering folks.
After all they deserved it right? They weren't truly good folks, Her and her dear Alastor believed ? that wholeheartedly, and Honestly it's their own fault for being easy targets
Right?
No one would believe you if you told them beforehand that the charming radio host, Alastor was a cold blooded murderer who had claimed multiple lives,
After all he was so charming, always with that smile on his face that could make anyone swoon, although you could never exactly know what he was thinking, people adored his voice and his radioshow where he'd play the tunes of the time, and briefly speak about the recent disappearances of people, telling everyone to stay safe.
It's truly the charming ones you should look out for.
It was only revealed when someone hunting in the dead of night mistook her dearest Alastor for a deer, shooting him swiftly through the head, killing him almost instantly, leaving him to be bitten and torn by man's best friend.
The phonecall she got when it was discovered was heart wrenching,
Her beloved Radio host went from charming to his name being thrown around, treated like a monster, [Which he was, he killed people] his office was cleaned out swiftly after being searched for anything alluding to his crimes, the home they shared was searched and torn apart for evidence as she sobbed into the arms of a supportive, unsuspecting neighbor,
After everything went down she was either scorned or deemed a unfortunate lady who unknowingly married a murderous monster, she had parts of the community that took pity bring around casseroles and give her words of comfort.
It couldn't have been more then a year since Alastor had gone, a family member of one of his victims wanted revenge, however since the murderer was already six feet under, why not go for his widow?
In the dead of night carrying a gun he crept into the home she once shared with her beloved, he moved passed the picture frames on the walls, from events, Their wedding photos and pictures of family, all were hung up neatly.
He opened the door, a creaking noise rung out throughout the house,
He moved forward towards the bed where the widow laid, deep in a slumber she'd never wake up from,
The man lifted up the gun and shot her right in the heart, She didn't know what hit her.
Arising from the ground she brushed herself off, the sight of brimstone and the harsh smell of sulfur filled her nose,
She didn't know what killed her, maybe a heart attack? Perhaps she choked on something in her sleep? Well there was no use in wondering, what's done is done, and from the looks of it she definitely ended up in hell, wasn't surprising after all she did help out her husband in his crimes.
With a quick look at herself, she made a face at the animal ears that protruded from her head, along with the matching tail on her back, shaking her head she began walking around to explore the place.
She supposed it was time to go find her dearly departed darling now wasn't it?
Good evening folks! Thank you for reading!
I'm making my way through requests and a couple of them will hopefully be out within the week! Stay tuned!
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man I think the estrangement is a tragedy and their relationship makes me go 🥺 but honest to god if anyone could avoid having jc in their lives I would want them to. not to blame him entirely for the way he is since his parents sucked but any of the loyalty and protectiveness and companionship and humor he brought to wwx's life is so dwarfed by the attempted murder and the encouraging of the suicide and his aggression and cruelty and constant blame and negativity and contempt like it's not worth it. and I can't think of much he brings to other people's lives either
#letting down wq like that...trying to kill wn. just being very aggressive and encouraging violence in his nephew#the only person who he consistently treats well is jyl#and she's constantly mothering him and placating him#its such a shitty situation like he does deserve good parents and loving relationships but as an adult he's so horrible to everyone#and that's true even if they love him and vice versa#the person close to jc who was harmed the least by jc's attitude and actions besides like. his parents obvs but probably nhs#they hung out at CR and apparently had a fine time. good for them#but I don't think they exchange a single word postcanon. that's a bit sad#postres* rather#cql txp
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I think a lot of people misunderstand (movie) Nimona as a character tbh.
"It's her fault everyone hates her, she hurt people" You have to keep in mind people treated her like crap because she was different, that wasn't her fault. She was attacked and made out to be a monster for defending herself, that wasn't her fault. This went on for over a thousand years, and eventually it wore her down and she decided that nobody was gonna see her as anything other than a monster, so why not fill the role you've been given and have some fun? Why lie down and let people treat you poorly when you can fight back?
Even so, she didn't purposely kill or injure any civilians (she saved a kid in the cereal dragon scene, and she just spit cereal at the knights, she could have killed them if she wanted to) and even when she turned into the shadow thing near the end, the most damage was caused by the knights attacking her. There were plenty of times she could have killed someone and didn't, because she's not really a monster. It seems like she mostly just wanted to make the Institution's life hell because they did the same to her, and that's totally valid imo. (I think the only person she killed, if I remember correctly, was the Director at the end and she TOTALLY deserved it. Correct me if I missed something though!)
I see a lot of myself in Nimona, as a queer teen myself. A lot of anger towards people for treating the LGBTQ+ community like crap for being different, and a lot of sadness because it feels like no matter what we do, we'll always be seen as monsters.
"Kids. Little kids. They grow up believing they can be a hero if they drive a sword into the heart of anything different. And _I'm_ the monster?" "I don't know what's scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart, or that sometimes, I just wanna let them."
Those lines resonate with me, because I feel that. I know what it's like, and it's scary. It wears you down and you really do start to believe the people telling you you're bad after a while, especially when it's coming from the people with more authority than you.
I see where she's coming from, because I know firsthand how it feels. A lot of people don't though, and it makes me sad when they boil her down to being "just a monster."
Anyway, everyone's entitled to their own opinions, I just wanted to talk about it.
Great movie, 10/10 recommend
#nimona#nimona movie#lgbtq#If anyone has anything else to add feel free!#Thinking about Nimona recently#if this needs any tws let me know!
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Could you do Dom reader edging and degrading vox because she discovered what he did to sir pentious?(when vox told sir pentious to go kill himself)
Thank you and have An amazing day <3
a/n — I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM. I have mean things to say.
warnings — dom reader, sub vox, reader gets like.. actually cruel, kind of edging, small use of mommy
summary — Vox finally gets a punishment for being the fucking worst to literally everyone (in this case sir pentious)
“Your one terrible piece of shit, you know that Vox?” You ride his dick with an intense overwhelming speed, making Vox cry out below you.
“Wait, fffuck! Slow down, god,” Vox whines and squirms from underneath you.
“Aw, can you not handle it? Can you not handle this one thing?” Your words are fake-sweet and laced with venom, “Y’know there are two words for people like you.”
“Oh come on—“ Vox tugs against the ropes around his hands but is cut off with a yelp when you slam your pussy onto his dick. He moans loudly.
“It’s on the tip of my tongue, ever since you used the phrase so eloquently earlier,” you explain further, once again with the insincere tone. He winces for impact, expecting a harsh blow from your words.
But it’s hard to prepare himself when you’re rocking against his cock so rough.
”Oh that’s right! I know what you are,” You say, kind voice dropping and grimacing down at him, “Vox, you’re a miserable failure.”
He cries loudly at your words, expecting them to only get meaner from here. “I wasn’t even that bad, y/n, wait—“
“Oh you weren’t that bad? What makes you think you can act like that?” He tried to shut his eyes and lean his head back into the pillow but up grab that corner of his screen aggressively, “Look at me when i’m talking to you, slut.”
He obeys glumly, biting his lip to hold back from letting out needy whines. How could you be so put together when you were slamming onto his dick so hard. He remember your words from the beginning of the session, though; ‘be a good boy and don’t cum until I tell you to. Maybe then i’ll be nicer.’
He’d laughed it off at first, but there was nothing but mocking distain in your eyes that shot right to his heart, and to his dick.
“You’re such a pretentious asshole. And you wonder why you’re hated. You make me sick. You think you can treat people like that because you’re so insecure you need constant higher ground? That’s fucking pathetic,” you hiss down at him.
He frowns and whimpers desperately, beginning to glitch out and release a high buzzing noise from his head.
“No, no, no, ‘m not!” He tries to sit up slightly, not only held down by the restraints around his wrists but forced back when you harshly shove his chest into the mattress.
“Whores only speak when they’re told they can. I hate to break it you, but you don’t have the higher ground here. I know just how pathetic, and useless, and desperate for validation you are,” You growl, “It’s fucking embarrassing.”
This makes tears prick in the corner of his eyes and he shakes his head vigorously.
“Oh, sweetheart, you’re not denying it are you? Because that would make you useless and a liar. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” He shakes his head and whines loudly, “No? Oh, then you should probably act like less of a brat, you dumb slut.”
Now, the tears finally started falling across his stream and he moans, choking on his own sobs and buffering noises, “Please, i’m sorry. I’m sorry! I’ll be nice I swear. Please stop being so mean I need—“
“I need for you to stop bitching and take what you deserve, just like the bitch you are,” You hump his dick with excruciating rhythm, “And now you’re a crybaby too, and that’s not a good look.”
He gives up trying to defend himself and cries quietly, “I wanna—bzzz—be your good boy. I’ll do anything, mommy, please!”
“Aw, there’s nothing you can do, baby. Nothing you can do when you’re such a shitbag by nature.” You remark cruelly, “Aren’t you a shitbag?”
He nods dumbly and whines, “Mommy, ‘m sorry. ‘m sorry, i’ll be better. Please be nice to me, I can’t—“
This time you don’t have to shut him up because he cuts himself off why buffering and sending a shock up both of your bodies.
“Don’t get carried away now, Vox. We wouldn’t want you hurting anyone else.”
a/n — Anyways and then you had to kiss it better after hours of degrading him because he was still crying after you guys were finished.
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#inbox open#hazbin hotel smut#vox x reader#dom reader#vox smut#vox x you#sub vox
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The Viv I knew is dead and gone.
I was hoping not to talk about this since, in all honesty, it's really a nothing burger. But since there's been drama with Vivienne Medrano and Spindlehorse, some of it worth talking about, some not, I feel like I need to throw my hat into the ring.
I remember looking at Viv's work on DA back in the early 2010s and being intrigued and impressed. I even did some fan art for her multiple times for her birthday. When she announced that she needed assistance on her thesis film "Timber," I was happy to sign up. I also helped clean up "Die Young," and soon after, Viv and I had a good rapport. Until one day, on Facebook, I joked about wanting to work on my original projects but couldn't because I was helping Viv. I believe it went something like this, "Working on Die Young when you have some original ideas to focus on be like: "Please, mam, I want to see my wife and children." At first, she took it well and laughed it off. But then she treated me harshly and said she didn't appreciate the joke. I apologized, and we didn't mention it again.
Until she started having a rage fit over a Zootopia and how their name was basically the same as Zoophobia (yeah, remember that?). I simply said on one of her Tumblr posts that what really mattered was how they handled the story and that the name was coincidental. Her fans didn't take that well and even said I needed to be beaten or killed for daring to not play on either side. I told Viv about this on FB, and she said I deserved it for making that joke from 2 years ago. We eventually talked it out and went back on good terms.
As time went by, we became more distant. She became busy with her projects, which were "Helluva Boss" and "Hazbin Hotel." I supported her through Patreon and even congratulated her on her Discord, thinking she remembered me fondly. It was only until Anime Pasadena that I would be proven wrong. I stood in line, hoping to chat with her about the animation industry and her projects and catch up. Despite being friends on Facebook and talking numerous times on social media, she acted like she had never seen me before. Even after hinting at some of the things I've done for her, she still acted dismissively towards me.
That's when it finally clicked in my mind: "The Vivienne Medrano I remember is dead and gone and is never coming back."
It also made me look at all the criticisms she's received in a completely different light and that the stories about what goes on at Spindlehorse were all true. To everyone who has worked at SH mistreated by Viv and her crew, you have all my condolences and respect.
EDIT:
for the crowd that likes to say "pics or it didn't happen"...
Bonus: Proof that I worked on Die Young. This was the closest thing to any "payment" I got from Viv.
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Stray Kids Reaction || He Throws His Wedding Ring [Maknae Line ] [Mafia Edition]
⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - February 2024
⤜MASTERLIST
TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of blood, killing, sex trafficking (not involving the reader) murder and fighting.
JISUNG:
"I wasn't flirting with him! I don't know why you're accusing me of such a thing." You grumbled at Jisung who shook his head at you, watching as you walked toward the dressing table in your bedroom and took the earrings from your ears, the earrings he'd paid for and watched you wear as you flirted with other men. His anger was bubbling over as he stared at you,
"I saw the way you were looking at him, Yn, don't play games with me." You started rubbing your temples, getting tired of going through this again and again. Ever since you'd been dragged out of the party he'd been lecturing you about flirting, something you hadn't even done.
"I was being polite. I don't know what you want from me. First, I'm too standoffish, now I'm flirting?!" He'd told you to be nice to everyone at the party, that everyone there was someone who deserved to be treated with respect so that was what you'd been doing. You'd spoken to Dante a little longer than anyone else but you'd been helping pick a necklace for his wife - Vivian.
"Polite?! It looked to me like you were ready to throw yourself at him. I can't have my wife acting like that, especially in our world." You stared down at the ring on your finger, feeling the weight of his accusation on your shoulders and you tried to hold back the tears.
"Jisung, I married you because I love you. I did not come into this marriage to be accused of things I didn't do." You told him, lifting your head to look at him and he was twisting the ring off his finger and placing it down onto the bed.
"Maybe you should find someone else who will let you flirt with other men," You shuddered a little at the sudden escalation of all of this. You just wanted him to understand that you hadn't done anything.
"I don't want anyone else, Jisung. I want you to trust me." You breathed out but he stormed out of the room leaving you alone you stared down at the ring on the bed, sniffling as you slowly sank down onto your knees,
"I don't think she would want you here," You heard Dante express as you looked up from the book you were reading. After Jisung had walked out on you, you'd packed a bag and headed to Vivian's for a few nights wanting to clear your head.
"Why are you here?" You turned your head to face Jisung who was seething with anger.
"Vivian invited me for a sleepover."
"Who's-" Jisung couldn't finish his question as Vivian came into the room with wine glasses, freezing when she saw Jisung standing there.
"I'm taking my wife home."
"She doesn't want to." You told him as you opened your book and went back to reading.
"She doesn't have a choice," Jisung grumbled as he took your hand and helped you up from the sofa.
"You come willingly or I take you, it's up to you, Sunshine." You hadn't heard him call you that in years and the nickname sent shivers down your spine.
"I can't be with someone who doesn't know how to trust me."
"I know how. I was an arsehole and I never should have said what I did."
"I have to see this," Dante whined but Vivian was quick to walk him to their private bedroom so you and Jisung could finish.
"I'm sorry," He stated, his voice full of concern and sincerity and you knew he meant it.
"I should have trusted you from the start but I just couldn't see past my own blind rage. Dante could take you if he wanted to."
"That would be kidnapping...I'm only interested in one man, Jisung and it's only ever always been you."
"I'm sorry," He whispered as you stepped closer to him, sighing a little as you ran your hands over his cheeks sweeping away the tears.
"Take me home." You told him before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.
FELIX:
"You never listen, Felix!" You yelled out with a sharp whine, the two of you were in his office in a heated argument and almost everyone in the house had scattered after hearing you both.
"It's always your business, never a moment about us!" Your voice echoed through the room as Felix sat at his desk with his fist clenching around his glass,
"I provide for you, Yn! What more do you want?!" He finally yelled back, the final straw breaking the camel's back after listening to you yell at him for the last hour and still having no idea why you were fighting with him in the first place.
He'd only come home late and you were jumping down his neck about how he wasn't there for you.
"I want a husband that is there for me! That actually shows up when he's supposed to!" You yelled at him, shaking your head as you thought back on what tonight was supposed to be. A meal between families, your parents and Felix were going to sit down with you both for the first time in months and he hadn't even bothered to show up.
"Is this because I missed that stupid dinner?!" The fact that he was calling it stupid only further fueled your anger with him.
"Stupid? You didn't call it that when you asked your parents to come."
"Look, I'll make it up to you. I'll buy you whatever-"
"I want my fucking husband to show up when he's supposed to!" You cut him off, if you were anyone else in the world Felix would have killed you on the spot for interrupting him and you knew that.
With the argument intensifying Felix impulsively ripped off his gold band and hurled it across the room before it clattered at your feet. You stared down at it, soft sobs leaving your throat as you stared down at the ring that clearly meant nothing to him.
"I mean that little to you?" You sniffled, turning your head to look at him and Felix was filled with instant regret but before he had a chance to utter an apology you were already fleeing the room.
It didn't take him long to find out where you were hiding and your parents let him in instantly, leaving you alone as you stared down at your wedding album.
"We used to be happy." You muttered to him, turning the pages and looking at what you used to be. Now there were nothing but cracks in your marriage and broken vows on both of your parts.
"We can still be happy..." Felix sunk down onto the floor beside you and you laid your head on his shoulder sighing a little.
"You work too much. You miss too much," You mumbled as he took your hand in his, his ring back on his finger as he stared down at your fingers that were interlocked with one another.
"I'll delegate the work, I'll take a step back." He promised, you'd heard the promises before but there was something behind his words this time that made you believe them.
SEUNGMIN:
You couldn't even believe Seungmin, after promising you that he'd stick to having fun tonight he'd snuck off to do business behind your back and at your party no less.
"What are you doing? Changbin said you were outside, you're supposed to be inside baby." Seungmin placed his hands on your shoulders but you shrugged his touch away from you, everything felt so cold with him later tonight.
"Sixteen." You told him plainly, watching as a cab pulled up outside of the luxury hotel that Seungmin had hired out for your party tonight.
"Sixteen what?" Seungmin frowned not following along,
"You've broken sixteen promises in the last three months." You clenched the jacket around you tighter and stared at him as a storm brewed inside of you. Tonight was supposed to be special, both of you were dressed up to the nines and ready to party and he'd promised to keep everything fun.
"You promised, Seungmin that tonight was my night and you were off doing business."
"This is how things work, Yn. I needed to do this deal." He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as if he couldn't believe you were upset over something so small. It was a business he'd been working on for almost a year now and tonight was the only night the man was willing to close the deal, it was his only chance.
"You promised." You whispered, trying to get him to realise the weight of his actions but it was as though he didn't care at all.
"You knew when you married me things were going to be like this." As if that was any justification for any of this, you shook your head at him and stepped toward the cab opening the door for yourself.
"Did I? Because the Seungmin I thought I was marrying never broke a single promise to me." The whole nine years before the two of you had gotten married had been the best times of your relationship, it felt as though once he had you he didn't care to try and put in any more effort.
"Then maybe you never should have married me then," The words hung in the air as you both stared at each other, the DJ's music the only buffer between you.
"Maybe." You whispered staring at him, waiting for him to take it back or to at least take you back inside but he just took off his ring and threw it behind the cab. He locked eyes with you as you got into the car and told the driver to drive, anywhere but there and the gravity of his action began to weigh down on him.
"Yn! Wait!" He yelled out but the car was already speeding off leaving him in the aftermath of what he had just done.
"Why am I here?" You questioned Changbin - your personal guard - he'd dragged you out of bed that morning and down to Seungmin's home saying nothing to you.
"This will come as a surprise to many of you but it's come to my attention that I must step down." You stared at Seungmin as he spoke into a crowd of men.
"This isn't something I regret to inform you, in fact, it's something I'm welcoming with open arms." His eyes found yours in the crowd and he smiled warmly,
"I'm leaving to spend time with my wife and eventually our growing family. I'll still be here but...mostly behind the scenes." With that he stepped away and headed over to you right away, you sniffled a little.
"Who said your wife still wants you?" You teased a little as he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you flush with his chest.
"If she doesn't I will spend every single day of my life trying to make her want me back," You smiled weakly before kissing him softly.
JEONGIN:
After the shot rang out you felt the warmth of blood on your face you knew what Jeongin had done and you felt sick as you stared down at the floor to see the man who had just been speaking about you on the floor.
"W-What the fuck?!" You yelled out as you stared at Jeongin who was calmly making his way over to you and wiping your face with a tissue as if this was the most normal thing in the world for him to do. Which was in his line of work but he'd promised never to do anything like this in front of you, it was one of the conditions you had when you agreed to get married.
"He had it coming, he shouldn't have disrespected you," It was true he shouldn't have but that didn't mean taking the life of a man that neither of you knew.
"What if he had a family and he was their sole earner?!" You yelled at him but he shrugged, bending down and collecting the man's wallet so he could have his men do a background check.
"I'll provide for them. They're better off without the drunken low-life." You began walking away from him,
"That's not the way to the car, Beautiful." You ignored the nickname he had for you as you continued to walk in the opposite direction of him.
"You went too far, Jeongin." You using his full name was never a good sign and he swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I didn't ask you to kill anyone for me." Your voice quivered with anger and fear as you shook your head at him.
"I did it for you. He was disrespecting you and I won't have it." You stopped in your tracks and turned to look at him, you couldn't believe that this was the same man you had once fallen in love with.
"So you'll kill anyone that even looks at me wrong?"
"If that's what it takes." He told you plainly, you let out a scoff and threw your hands up in defeat. The frustation finally took over as you stared at him. You needed him to see how wrong all of this was for him,
"You're disgusting. All of this power has gone to your head!"
"I do what needs to be done. This is our life and I won't let anyone or anything threaten it!" He yells at you, his face red with anger as you stare at him breathing heavily.
"I don't want this life anymore, not if it means losing you to the power you hold." You mumbled to him in the heat of the moment but Jeongin smirked at you, taking off his ring and throwing it to the floor. Silence hung in the air as you stared down at the ring in disbelief, the unbreakable bond you'd made together was now thrown to the ground as if it were trash so you walked away.
As it turned out it wasn't as easy as you'd hoped to walk away from Jeongin, you were forced to interact as a couple at events and the same with tonight.
"Will you ever speak to me again?" Jeongin whispered to you,
"No, while you're a power-hungry weirdo," You mumbled before drinking from your glass, downing it and asking for another which was promptly brought to you.
"I'm stepping down." He told you as he watched you down another drink,
"I've heard that before." You grumbled only for him to place his hand on top of yours.
"Chan is taking over, I shouldn't be in charge," You stared at him and glanced over at Chan who was nervously waiting to speak to the party full of people.
"Is that what tonight is? You're resigning?"
"Stepping down, I'll still work but I won't...be in charge," He admitted as you stared at him,
"Why?"
"Because given the choice between my wife and work? I choose you, every time." He whispered before clapping for Chan along with everyone else in the room.
@chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @laylasbunbunny @stayconnecteed @saymyspringrain @toplinehyunjin @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @just-aelia @choisoorin @straykids5star @midnightfrog625 @beccaskz @scarletemeterio @halesandy @junhannies @gothic4under4lord @lixie-phoria @soulphoenix1618 @aerastus @jin-from-the-block @lensfilm @elizaschuyler18 @piratequeen-impact @kpopsstuffs @chaeyoungs @delulu18 @xyahrinx @katsukis1wife @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @blairscott @4-chan-inpadella @niktwazny303 @moonlight-the-writer @armystay89 @hadassahchan @yxngbxkkie @myyouthdonut @extrhotjne @ca11me3mily @elissasimp @xakx @sleepb @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @kpopmenace143 @minhosify @loveforred @b1nn1e-1s-cut3
#skz#skz x reader#skz reaction#skz reactions#stray kids#stray kids x reader#stray kids reaction#stray kids reactions#jisung x reader#felix x reader#seungmin x reader#jeongin x reader#yang jeongin#jeongin#kim seungmin#seungmin#lee felix#felix#han jisung#jisung#bang chan#lee minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin
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Pairing : Bangchan x F!Reader ft. Hongjoong
TW : angst ; childbirth ; reader has to have a c-section ; very traumatic labor experience ; Chan turning point moment ; fluffy at the end ;
Word Count : 4.9k
Request : I'm sure that in my 98 requests there are some regarding this so I'm gonna say yes, it is a request
A/N : Back on that good shit, HELLO!!!
It had been four months since you left, riding off into the sunset with Hongjoong, at least that’s the way that Chan looked at it. In reality, you sat in the passenger seat crying your eyes out in the parking lot of the McDonalds while Hongjoong worked tirelessly to console you to no avail.
Four months since the last time you had even heard from Chan, too busy with work still to even realize what he had lost… At least that’s the way you looked at it. Back at home, he couldn’t even get his brain to focus on anything but you, the words you had said before he had pushed you away. Work always came first in his life, it had always been that way, but you had needed his attention too, more then than ever before. He had screwed up, and now he was too scared, too ashamed to even try to get in touch with you. The fear that you had finally moved on to someone who would treat you and the baby better, it ate away at him like a parasite and it was killing him to not know how you were doing, but he felt that he deserved it.
Even Hongjoong, who felt that his acts of kindness were purely innocent, was filled with a sense of guilt, feeling like he was the reason for what was going on right now. No matter how much you told him that he wasn’t to blame, that you would never blame him for it, he couldn’t let himself get rid of the shame. It turned into you consoling him for the better part of two months, and when it seemed like he was finally getting better and coming to terms with that fact that this wasn’t his fault, he would run into Chan somewhere and those feelings would come rushing back full force.
All in all, the last four months have been absolute hell for everyone involved, but no one really talked to one another anymore, so that only worsened the feelings that everyone had. You were lonely, trying to get through the remainder of your pregnancy without thinking too hard about the fact that you’d be a single mother basically, that the father of the little girl that you were carrying had angrily kicked you out and wouldn’t even call to check up on you. Chan was depressed, not knowing anything that was going on with his daughter, not even knowing if you had delivered the baby yet, not knowing how you were doing, and being away from the love of his life and the mother of his child was essentially destroying him. Even those that weren’t directly involved in what was going on, they were being affected too. Members of both groups had to deal with the negative moods of both men and no one knew what to do.
It seemed like the four months would never end, each passing day felt more like deja vu, waking up and reliving those moments over and over again, wondering what could have been done differently, what could have been said to try to change the outcome. It was a never ending nightmare it felt, but no one could have guessed how bad the nightmare would get.
You flipped the page on the calendar, the small box that read “due date” with little pink balloons surrounding it was fastly approaching now. For the first time, it felt like a new day, like you could finally breathe even though your daughter felt like she was kicking at your lungs constantly, you could take a deep breath. You were beginning to feel like maybe, just maybe, with the birth of your daughter, you’d be able to leave the door to your past behind you and start a new journey in life, a new chapter.
“How are you feeling today?” Hongjoong asked, meeting you in the kitchen with the world's best/worst case of bedhead. You felt awful that he had demoted himself to sleeping on the living room couch just so you could comfortably sleep in his bed, but he had insisted, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Is she ready to come out yet?” He smiled tiredly at your stomach which felt like it was about to burst any minute now, but your daughter had no plan on leaving yet.
“I’m feeling good… It’s a good day today.” You murmured, giving him a genuine smile, something that you hadn’t done in a while. The sight of it had Hongjoongs eyes lighting up, and you were hoping that maybe he was feeling the same way. “She definitely isn’t ready though. I think she’s actually comfortable being all cramped up in here.” You joked, running your hand over your stomach, and you felt your daughter move beneath your skin, just slightly, but enough for it to feel like she was agreeing with you.
“What if you’re overdue? What if she never leaves?” He teased, and you rolled your eyes at the questions. There was no way in hell that you’d let that happen. As much as you loved being pregnant with your daughter, your back and your legs were killing you, your stomach was covered in stretch marks that only seemed to be getting bigger and darker every single day, and you’d love to be able to go at least an hour and a half without having to run to the bathroom.
“Don’t jinx me.” You huffed, running a hand through your hair before turning to the fridge and grabbing a drink. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I cannot wait to get my period again.” As if on queue, and maybe even being slightly insulted by your words, your daughter kicked quite hard, hard enough that it had you choking on and coughing out the water that you had just taken a sip of.
“She mad at you.” Hongjoong continued to tease all while rubbing your back and intermittently asking you if you were okay, to which you nodded your head and told him you were. And it was the truth, you were okay. It seemed like forever since you were able to just be okay with everything that happened. Maybe it wasn’t that you were actually okay with it, more like you had just come to terms with the fact that you’d probably never hear from Chan again, that he’d never want anything to do with you. It hurt more than anything to come to that realization, to really let it settle in that the two of you were no more, but you also knew that holding onto a false sense of hope for that relationship to come back would only cause more damage to yourself emotionally.
“You wanna go out for lunch or something?” You asked once you had finally got the air back into your lungs and the tears wiped from your eyes. The last time you had gone out for lunch with Hongjoong was when you were still living with Chan. It had been guilt keeping the both of you from doing something like that again, but you were turning over a new leaf, it was time for you to live your life and let go of the anchor that was holding you back, keeping you emotionally docked to a man that clearly didn’t want anything to do with you or his child.
Hongjoongs eyes widened for only a second before he nodded his head. Maybe he was beginning to feel the same way. To him, it was clear that Chan wasn’t coming back, and the guilt that had previously kept him from doing anything even remotely close to the likes of dating was beginning to fade away. “Of course, anything you want.” He said, a smile creeping up onto his face as he said it. This was normal, or at least the new normal for you, and maybe in the process there would come new love along with the new life that you were bringing into the world. You could only hope that that was the case.
“And then Wooyoung and San-” Hongjoong was continuing his story from across the table when you felt it. The sharp pain that you knew wasn’t a kick or a punch from your little girl. It had you momentarily blacking out and seeing stars as a sharp gasp replaced the scream that threatened to pour from your lips. “Y/N?” Your name rushed out of Hongjoongs mouth as he got up from his chair, so fast that it tipped back, but he was by your side before it had even hit the floor.
The wetness that pooled between your legs was sign enough that not only was your body, but she was ready to come out. “Hospital…” You breathlessly said the word, your eyes prickling with tears as you looked up at Hongjoong, trying to remember all of the breathing exercises that you had learned in the lamaze class that he went to with you. It was harder than you thought when so much seemed to be happening at once, you could barely even focus on your breathing, let alone the breathing that someone else had taught you to do.
“Right… Yeah… Of course… Oh shit.” Hongjoong stammered out the words, looking around the small restaurant in a state of panic, as if one of the unfortunate people who were now watching you would know what to do. It didn’t take long for a couple other women to come over and try to help you, some of them were on their phones already asking for an ambulance. “Thank you…” Hongjoong whispered to the women, thankful that he could now turn his attention solely back to you while you both waited for the ambulance.
By the time the ambulance did come, there were so many people surrounding you and Hongjoong, trying to comfort you, console you, calm you, literally anything as the pains got worse and worse. Contractions, as you were told, were painful, and the only thing you could really do was try to breathe through them until they stopped. The only problem was that they came so frequently that you didn’t have time to catch your breath before another one had you doubling over and gripping onto Hongjoongs hand even tighter.
It wasn’t just the contractions though, there was something else, something that you couldn’t even fully understand, but you just knew… Something was wrong. You could feel it, or moreso, you couldn’t feel anything. You thought that with the amount of contractions and everything that was going on that your daughter would be moving around just as frantically as everyone else in the room right now, but you couldn’t feel anything. “Please… hurry… There’s something wrong… Please…” Was all you managed to say to the paramedics as they helped get you out of your chair and onto a gurney.
“Everything is alright.” One of the paramedics said, but they didn’t know, they weren’t you, they weren’t going through this right now. You hated how they tried to make everything seem okay when it wasn’t. You weren’t stupid, and you knew your body better than anyone else. There was something wrong, and they needed to get you to the hospital as fast as possible instead of trying to fill your head with false hope. “We’ll be there soon, just keep breathing.” As if you had any other choice… It was all you could do. Just breathe until you get to the hospital, and hope and pray that your feeling was wrong.
The baby is in distress. We have to get her out quickly. Set up the room. Get her ready.
Hongjoong stood off to the side watching as doctors and nurses circled around you like vultures. He couldn’t watch as they poked you and prodded at you like some kind of lab experiment, and the only thing he felt was anxiety at the pure chaos that seemed to be unfolding around him. Your eyes were bloodshot and puffy with tears and while he wanted to stand next to you and be there for you and hold your hand, every time he even got remotely close he’d be pushed back and replaced by another doctor that needed to check you over.
“Call him…” You said loud enough for Hongjoong to hear, and while the doctors didn’t even pause to let you talk to him, he had heard you through the noise and the commotion. He knew what you meant, and he knew exactly who you were talking about. He wasn’t sure why you’d want him to be there, unless you truly thought that something bad was going to happen to yourself, the baby, or the both of you, but he knew that, out of respect for Chan, he had to do it.
He nodded slowly, hesitant to step out of the room, but he knew that there wasn’t much that he could really do from inside the room either, and it’s not like he could make a phone call with all the noise, so he silently slipped out into the hallway and leaned against the wall. Would Chan even answer his phone? Even if he didn’t, it’s not like you’d be alone, and if something horrible did happen, that would be something that Chan would have to live with for the rest of his life.
The ringing lasted for a good bit, or maybe it was just the fact that time didn’t seem relative in this situation and a second seemed to last for an hour for Hongjoong, but when the ringing finally came to a stop and he heard a soft sigh through the speaker on his phone, he knew that Chan had finally picked up. “Y/N is in labor… She wanted me to call you. It’s not… going well… She wants you here.”
It was vague, but it got the point across. To be honest, Hongjoong didn’t have the slightest idea of what was truly going on back in the room, he heard the words, but he couldn’t fully comprehend them, they made no sense to him. “Is she okay? Is the baby okay?” Chan shakily asked, and while everything around Hongjoong seemed to be moving in slow motion, the sounds coming through his phone made it seem like Chan was in a world in double speed.
“I don’t know… I don’t know anything. She just wants you here. She wanted me to call you. She’s scared, I’m scared… I’m sorry, hyung.” He whimpered, tear drops spilling over his lashes and trickling down his cheeks. “Please come fast… I think they’re moving her…” They were both crying, that much was obvious, the sound of choked off sobs only slightly muffled by the car engine that rumbled through the speaker.
This felt a great deal like karma, although neither of the guys knew who it was coming after. Was it Hongjoong for unintentionally stealing away the family of another man, or was it Chan for being so oblivious to the blessings that he had been given that he let them be taken from him? Why would it go after you though? You and the innocent baby that didn’t know anything about what was going on around her? None of it made sense.
Silence filled the call, neither men speaking, but soon that silence was interrupted by the door being pulled open and the commotion that Hongjoong had temporarily removed himself from now flooded into the hallway. “These are your scrubs, follow us.” A doctor hurriedly handed Hongjoong the blue suit and then turned their attention back to the hospital bed that was being wheeled out of the room. Nurses followed behind, carrying the IV bag that you were still attached to, but now there was an oxygen mask over your face, although it wasn’t connected to anything, not yet at least. “There isn’t much time, hurry.” The doctor said, looking back at Hongjoong who was in a state of shock seeing you like this.
“What’s going on? I’m almost there… Hongjoong?” Chan finally spoke up, but there was nothing that Hongjoong could say. He still didn’t know what was going on, but now it felt like he was on limited time, and the last thing he wanted to do was be on the phone with Chan when he could be spending this time with you, or beside you… He should be there for you, and maybe Chan knew this, or maybe he just didn’t want you to go through this alone. “Go… I’ll get there soon… Don’t leave her…”
Sitting in the waiting room was Chan who had run through the hospital doors like a bat out of hell, pushing through people just to get to the front desk only to be told that he couldn’t even go back and see you. He was left with so many questions and no answers, fears that clouded his mind and made the sound of the television right above his head seem like nothing more than a low drone that was everything but calming.
There was no comfort found in the pristine white walls or the nose burning bleach smell from the overly sanitized floors. There was no solace felt when looking at the scenic paintings that hung along the walls. There was only a sense of looming dread that hung over him. To lose everything before he had even gotten it, to not even have had the chance to enjoy the time with you and his unborn daughter because he had so carelessly given it away just to chase his career.
“Sir…” Pulled from his thoughts by the low, almost mousy voice of the receptionist, he finally looked up at her. “You can go back now.” Was this a light at the end of the tunnel, or was it just the high beams of a car racing through only meant to give him some sense of false hope before he was crashed into?
Every step was slow, giving him time to prepare himself for whatever it was that he’d walk in on. Would you be okay or had he lost you? Had he lost his daughter? Were you both gone? Was he only allowed to come in just to say goodbye? Wouldn’t that be sick? To be led into a room where everything that he truly loved lay lifeless and cold… He wouldn’t be able to handle that, he wasn’t even able to handle the thought of that.
Hongjoong stood outside a door, his hair disheveled and his eyes reddened from crying. His cheeks and his nose looked raw, and his lips were chapped… But he was smiling. There was no sadness in his eyes, he wasn’t wearing the look of someone that he just witnessed something so horrifyingly devastating that Chan couldn’t even think of it. “They’re sleeping…” Hongjoong whispered, letting out an exasperated chuckle as he ran his hand through his hair for presumably the thousandth time today. “But they’re okay… They’re okay.” He repeated the words as if he himself needed the reassurance.
“Wh-... What happened?” Chan stammered, still left with a whirlwind of questions, but did it even matter what had happened? As long as you and his daughter were alright, that’s all that was important to him. “Is the baby in there? Can I see her?” Hongjoong shook his head no, and for a moment Chan thought that he was saying that he couldn’t see his daughter, but Hongjoong quickly motioned down the hall with his head.
“They have her in the nursery right now… They still want to check her over, make sure that there’s no issues. I… I wish I could tell you what all happened but… I couldn’t even ask questions and… I was so scared. I think it’s a good thing you didn’t make it in time to see it… I never want to see something like that ever again…” Hongjoong rambled, his head shaking so fast like he was trying to rid his mind of whatever images now plagued it. How bad had it been?
“Can I go in the room?” Chan asked, and Hongjoong paused, looking between Chan and the door before nodding his head. “Thank you… Thank you for taking care of her, and being there for her… And giving her everything that I failed to give.” Chan murmured, his hand freezing on the doorknob, eyes welling up with tears as he dropped his head. “You’re a better man than I am… And she deserves better… So does my daughter…”
He didn’t give Hongjoong time to respond, he wanted to get in the room and see you, make sure you were okay, and then go see his daughter to make sure she was okay as well before heading back home. He didn’t intend on staying, not because he didn’t want to, but he was sure that you wouldn’t truly want him around now that the nightmare was over. He had hurt you and pushed you away, he didn’t even feel like he should be there.
“Hey…” Your voice was soft, not intentionally, but you were groggy and tired, as he expected you to be after going through this. “You finally made it… Took long enough.” You scoffed, and Chan could only sigh. If only you knew the amount of accidents that he had dodged, the amount of tears he had shed just to get here, just to wait for the clearance to come into the room and see you. He would have argued it, but he found no point in fighting against you, not right now. “Did you get to see her yet?” You asked, and he shook his head, shoving his hands into his pockets as his top teeth sank down into his bottom lip. “Did I interrupt your work?”
Were you truly questioning it or was it just a jab at the fact that he had chosen work over you and the baby in the beginning? He wasn’t sure considering your voice didn’t really give way to any emotion other than exhaustion. “No… You didn’t interrupt anything. I was at home.” He said softly, and it felt like he was walking on a thin layer of ice. Any wrong move and he’d fall through. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I didn’t make it in time. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here.”
“You’re a busy person… I understand that you can’t make it.” You said as nonchalantly as ever, as if you were just talking about the weather. “You should go see her before you have to go again. I’m not sure when your schedule will free up so… If you want me to send pictures of her to you I will…” You weren’t even looking at him, your eyes gazing far off into the distance, out the window of your little room. Was it because you’d get sad if you looked at him? Or would you just get really angry? How was it so easy for Hongjoong to juggle both his work and his life? Why was it so hard for Chan to do the same thing? Did he even have a chance to try to prove to you that he was sorry or had Hongjoong already made his way into the space in your heart that Chan thought was reserved for him?
“I never stopped thinking about you… About the baby… I never stopped thinking about how much of an idiot I was for leaving you… For letting you leave.” Chan began, and he saw your tongue push against the inside of your cheek, something that you did when you were thinking just a little bit too hard. What were you thinking about? “And I know that right now isn’t the best time to be coming to you and telling you this. I should have come to you the day after you left… I shouldn’t have even let you walk out that door. But I love you, and I love our baby… And that dream that we created together… I still want that with you. I want to be with you, I want to have a family with you… I want so much for you to just be home again.” He shook his head, his eyes squeezed shut to try to hide the fact that he was getting teared up. “I want our home to be the home that you bring our daughter to when you both get discharged… But I know that I’m too late…”
For the first time since he had walked into the room, you looked at him. Your head turned slowly to let your eyes, filled with confusion, fall upon him. “What do you mean you’re too late? I’m not dead, Chan. I had a c-section… and while it still feels sore and I know it’s gonna hurt like a bitch later… I’m still alive.” You said it as if that were the only thing he should be worried about, but he knew that Hongjoong was just outside the door, and maybe you were just trying to play dumb to protect Chans feelings, although he wasn’t sure why you’d do something like that considering the hell that he put you through.
“I know that you and Hongjoong are together… You don’t have to hide it or pretend…” Chan mumbled, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth before letting out a loud, heavy sigh. “He’s better for you anyway. He was always there for you… He was there for the baby before she was even born… There’s no way that I can compete with him. I understand that he took my place… But I do love you, and… if it’s okay with him… I would like to still be in her life… I want to watch her… grow up… I want to be there for birthdays and holidays and-”
“What the fuck are you on about?” You cut him off with the question, your eyebrows arched and your face had shock written across it. “Hongjoong and I aren’t together. Holy shit, Chan.” You let out a scoff that sounded more like you were trying to hold in your laughter. “Is that why you didn’t try to get in touch with me? Because you thought that he and I were… together?” You quizzed, and Chan mumbled out a sheepish yes in response. “So you’re telling me… We could have been together… through the better half of the last portion of my pregnancy… But we weren’t because you thought I started dating Hongjoong?”
Chans hands flew to his face and his head fell back as he let out a loud groan. “Yes. Yes! I was stupid! I let my assumptions get the best of me and I missed out on the birth of my daughter because of that. Is that what you want to hear? I’m stupid!” His head shook before he let it drop down, his eyes lingering on the lines between the floor tiles. “Why didn’t you message me though? What was keeping you from reaching out… Not that it was your job to, considering what had happened… but… If you missed me and wanted me there for all of that… Why didn’t you text me or call me?”
Now it was you who grew quiet, your hand that was free of the IV running through your hair as your eyes bore into him, and even though he wasn’t looking, he could feel the heat of your gaze from across the room. “Because you told me to leave… I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I was devastated that you just let me walk out, and it made me feel like you wouldn’t care if I tried to get in contact with you anyway. I was pregnant, and I never felt so alone in my life, even with Hongjoong there to help me. All I wanted was you. But I was scared that you’d tell me to leave you alone and… I knew that I wouldn’t be able to handle that kind of rejection, not from you.”
His heart sank at the revelation of how you truly felt, and he couldn’t believe how far it was from the truth. He still had one more question though, one that seemed to be burning brighter now that he knew how you felt. “Why did you call me today? Not that I’m mad about it but… what made you want to see me now?”
The sudden sound of you sniffling filled the room, and you fumbled with the edge of your blankets as you took a few shaky breaths. “Because… I thought something was wrong… That something would go wrong and… Even if you hated me, I needed you here. I was scared that I would die… That she… You know… And I just needed you.” Your voice broke at the end and the sniffles turned to full sobs as your head dropped and your hair curtained your face.
He ran over to your bedside, grabbing your hand, for the moment completely forgetting that he hadn’t been around at all, the only thing he wanted now was to be there for you, to show you that he loved you. “I’m here now… You’re okay, she’s okay… I don’t want you to think of those things anymore… okay?” He whispered, petting his fingers over your hair and tucking it behind your ears before tilting your head up to look at him. “I love you… And I’m sorry… I’m sorry for everything that I’ve put you through… But I want to be here now, if you’ll give me that chance. Just one more chance… Please…”
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I have an ask about Spider reader, what if they bonded with a symbiote like Venom ? Exept they bonded to the point its impossible to separate them without killing them both? Venom is still partially separate from reader mostly working and talking with them or taking control when reader cant. Venom knows everthing about them since there i readers head.
Ok that's a great question!
I think at first Spider would be tired of Venom and try everything to get rid of him before getting used to a companion that doesn't have to be kept in the dark about their vigilante job and also their family problems.
They wouldn't tell anyone, but Alfred would obviously find out and just make sure they're ok before making his plan faster of getting the family to notice them.
If we take in consideration the original timeline that I am following at the moment, Superman would probably be the first person you would tell after months of knowing him and trusting him enough.
But when the Batfam will find out? Well I'm gonna make an example for how they would find out. (And also a small spoiler for the next part)
Ok so Spider is 'working' with Superman sometimes since Gotham's streets are relatively safe and they decide to follow Superman to a mission where they thought they were gonna work alone with Superman again and instead find Batman and Damian waiting for you two.
The mission consists of defeating a rising villain that is making weapons for big villains around the world, and while in the evil lair after defeating the villain, Batman almosts get stabbed by a machine set off by Superman.
But Spider decides to help him and saves him, getting stabbed in the process and making Venom heal them slowly and not immediately since they didn't want Batman to ask questions.
But Spider is still bleeding with a grave wound, which sends everyone in a panic.
So Batman sends Superman with you to the Batcave to get healed while Batman and Damian will make sure the villain will get what he deserves for hurting Spider. (Since Batfam is already a bit yandere for Spider but do not know their real identity)
At the Batcave Spider gets treated a bit after managing to give them some sedatives to make them calm down, which makes Venom come out to defend Spider.
And Alfred decides to make the drastic decision to reveal who Spider is, tired of seeing the Batfam treating them horribly while almost idolising and loving Spider which is the same person.
And Venom insults them with telling everything Spider thinks of them, all the pain, injuries and thoughts they had to make the Batfam feel even worse and Superman more of a yandere than he already was.
So the Batfam becomes even more, not sure the right terminology, yandere for Spider and wants to make it right, promising Venom to make it right and wanting to give Spider all the love they couldn't receive the first years in the Manor.
Venom, sadly, gets manipulated by everyone and promises to not say anything to Spider and helping them a bit since Venom also wants the best for Spider.
The story would continue with Spider getting imprisoned in the Manor, with their powers weak thanks to Venom, making them desperate and also weirded out by the sudden attention of everyone.
And after a while, with everyone manipulating them and suffocating them with their love will eventually lead to Stockholm Syndrome.
And that's the end of it! I will probably reblog it if I find anything wrong that I didn't notice! Thanks for the ask!
For the divider you can go to @saradika-graphics, she does this and takes requests!
#yandere x reader#platonic yandere#yandere batman#yandere#yandere aesthetic#yandere dc x reader#yandere dc#yandere bruce wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#yandere batfam#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfamily#yandere family
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I rewatched The Avatar and the Fire Lord a few days ago, and god, what a good episode. Revealing that Zuko is a descendant of both Sozin and Roku was a genius move (and that's not even getting into the Zuko/Aang parallels of it all). But there's something the show doesn't seem to think of, and that I haven't seen anyone in the fandom discuss either — the fact that Zuko isn't the only one descendant from both these men. Azula is, too.
The conclusion of this story that Iroh presents to Zuko at the end of the episode is that he alone — because of his lineage from both men the war was started from — is uniquely capable of cleansing the sins of his family and the fire nation and bringing peace to the world. But, the thing is, there's two sides of this conflict, and therefor two sides to its legacy. The external and the personal. The legacy of the external is the war, but the legacy of the personal is the sibling rivalries that kept repeating through generations of the royal family.
Though Roku and Sozin were not actually related, they were childhood friends as close as siblings and fucking shared a birthday, so the symbolism works. We know very little about Azulon's childhood or if he even had any direct sibling rivalries like this at all, but from what I can find on his wiki page, we know that Sozin favoured him over "other family" (I'm assuming his siblings). What we know very well, however, is what happened in the next generation between Iroh and Ozai. We know Azulon favoured Iroh over Ozai, and that this likely is the initial source of their hatred for each other, which resulted in perhaps the worst sibling rivalry of them all (what with the indirect patricide and throne stealing).
Then we go on to Zuko and Azula, whose upbringing kept going in the same patterns, but the key difference is them being the first ones to both be descendant from the men who started it all. If Zuko having this lineage makes him uniquely capable of ending the cycle of war in his country and restoring balance to the world, shouldn't that mean that both he and Azula having this lineage makes them uniquely capable of ending the cycle of brutal sibling rivalries and restoring balance to their family?
This conclusion I've presented seems to fit perfectly with the lesson Aang draws from the same story as well:
"Roku was just as much Fire Nation as Sozin was, right? If anything, their story proves that anyone's capable of great good and great evil. Everyone, even the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation, have to be treated like they're worth giving a chance."
I know this is supposed to be foreshadowing to Aang refusing to kill Ozai later, but I can't help but think it's even more applicable to fourteen year old Azula. It's really so ironic that the show runners thought Azula deserved what she got when their own show seems to be telling them that Zuko mending his relationship with her is what he ultimately should've done.
But, then again... that does sort of make her the perfect tragedy.
#meta#azula#princess azula#zuko#prince zuko#zuko x azula#avatar the last airbender#atla#avatar meta#avatar the last airbender meta#atla meta#uncle iroh#fire lord ozai#fire lord azulon#fire lord sozin#avatar roku#i LOVE tragic siblings have i mentioned this before?#also can't wait for this either to get 0 notes or invite a bunch of brain dead angry replies#it's pretty much either or for me in this fandom
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