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myheartismadeofstars · 2 months

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TGCF pokemon teams: made x

Xianle Quartet version

Xie Lian

Absol:

Pretty self explanatory. Absol is the Bad Luck pokemon and appears before disasters. No doubt XL encounters a lot of them. Absol would also keep an eye out for BWX.

Calyrex: a pokemon who used to be a king but has lost everything, even his friends...sound familiar? Also it can make plants grow and I love the unused Flower God!XL concept. Also I think XL deserves a legendary.

Hisuian Liligant: an elegant fighter and a beautiful flower. Revered in ancient times but almost forgotten in the modern era. Also I see H!Liligant as very nice and polite.

Mienshao: an unarmed fighter that fights with "ribbons" that remind me of Ruoye. Mienfoo are also mentioned to seclude themselves in the mountains to train.

Garbodor: our favourite trash collector needed a trash pokemon, okay? But also a joking reference to his terrible cooking lmao. (I think Garbodor could eat XL's cooking like HC can, but that's the same as calling it garbage lmao)

Dusclops: THIS is Ruoye. It wraps and binds people in the cloth bandages hanging off of it. It does hold a Reaper Cloth but XL hasn't been able to find someone to help it evolve.

Liligant, Calyrex and Mienshao have been on the team the longest. I think the newest member is Garbodor, but he has had several other pokemon over his lifetime that he lost due to his luck.

Hua Cheng

Ceruledge: allow me to quote the pokemon Scarlet Dex Entry "The fiery blades on its arms burn fiercely with the lingering resentment of a sword wielder who fell before accomplishing their goal." That's honestly enough for me, but also, wartime!HongHong-Er having a Charcadet and also it's a ghost/fire type lmao.

Inteleon: Inteleon can learn Rain Dance. But also the transition from a bullied kid to an emo teen and finally a cool and suave (seeming) adult who still has signs of being that scared kid at heart?

Houndoom: HC needed a dog. Also the fact that just HEARING Houndoom's howl can send people fleeing in terror and the burns hurting FOREVER. (Reminds me a bit of E-Ming's curse, though not perfect)

Absol: Pokemon believed to cause disasters and hated for it, even though it was innocent and was actually trying to warn them... Also Absol has red eyes! Unlike XL's Absol, HC's has Super Luck!

Honchkrow: Murkrow are supposed to bring bad luck but Honchkrow are the bosses of Murkrow and said to be merciless towards them, much how HC is with Ghost City.

Honedge (Shiny): E-Ming! The shiny form has red eyes on its hilt and the blade seems forged in blood. It's literally a cursed sword with red eyes.

I would say that Inteleon and Ceruledge and MAYBE Honchkrow are the only pokemon he has from when he was alive, though none of them were fully evolved (Inteleon was a Drizzile). Ceruledge evolved first.

Feng Xin

Hisuian Decidueye: hisuian Decidueye is based on a ronin. He's an archer wandering the earth without a master.

Mabostiff: Mabostiff are LITERALLY the Guard dog pokemon!! Of course our favourite bodyguard has to have one! Also supposedly has a "scary face" like our grumpy boy

Lucario: Protective and loyal and I've now seen several people say that FX is good at tracking and I would say Lucario is perfect for trying to track someone (aka: XL) by their aura.

Espeon: Loyal but also the Sun Pokemon! FX is the "Southern Sun" after all! I also have a headcanon about FX having a spoiled cat and I think Espeon is the most similar to the cat I have for him

Zangoose: Obviously a reference to his fighting with Mu Qing. (I also think Zangoose has Toxic Boost rather than Immunity. Because FX isn't immune to MQ's words and actions, just angered by them, ergo: Toxic Boost)

Male Pyroar: It's a noble and intimidating pokemon and I would consider them a very masculine pokemon that would suit his title quite well and also...since it's revealed that Pyroar do have similar social structures to real lions... Males have nothing to do with child rearing I'm so sorry FX I'm sure you'd be a good dad if given the chance idk if I'll give Jian Lan a team but a female Pyroar would definitely be on it.

Most of his teammates have been around for a long time. Decidueye didn't fully evolve until he ascended on his own, and I would say Lucario and Espeon are the newest members. But his "starter" was probably Litleo, and he got Maschiff when he became XL's bodyguard when he was 14.

Mu Qing

Umbreon (Shiny): counterpart to FX'S Espeon, and I think it fits "Enigmatic Truth" almost as well as Espeon suits "Southern Sun". MQ's is shiny mostly because I feel the blue rings suit him better lmao. Also MQ deserves something special dammit!

Seviper: Rivals FX's Zangoose. The poison typing brings to mind his own toxicity (🤟) and the bladed tail reminds me of his Zhanmadao and Seviper is just a bit longer than most Zhanmadao are.

Persian: Considered beautiful and elegant but fickle, just like our boy!

Leavanny: Leavanny reminds me of the fact that his mother was a seamstress. But also: they are kind to children (but can also learn Sword's Dance and have wicked bladed arms) Mama's boy cannot forget her.

Midday Lycanroc: Cautious and extremely loyal to those who treated them well. Considered Dusk Form considering how hot headed MQ is, but slightly prefer the Midday form for him because it emphasizes the loyalty while Dusk is notably difficult to raise I also headcanon him with a yellow coloured dog so midday suits that better

Empoleon: Proud in all evolutions, but still live in groups as Piplup and Empoleon, though solitary as Prinplup. Sounds like pushing people away and then realizing that you wanted them in your life after all.

While he doesn't keep it with him, he also has a Male Indeedee who has been with him since his servant days. He mostly stays in his Palace and manages things. MQ doesn't like to be reminded of those days, but it did introduce him to his friends.

The oldest teammate is Leavanny by quite a bit. Leavanny was with him before he went to Mount Taicang (though maybe not fully evolved) Lycanroc is the newest member, but I don't think Empoleon is fully evolved until he reconciles with XL and FX.

#tgcf #xie lian #hua cheng #feng xin #mu qing #tgcf au #pokemon au #pokemon fan teams #I'm currently working on sqx and actually having a hard time

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theroundbartable · 4 months

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Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "theroundbartable "?

Haha^^

10 fics will be hard for me to do, since I'm very bad with names and I don't really.... Save any. I read, like, comment and move on.

Let's start with my name first. That's easier. Theroundbartable was a joke I made a couple years ago and I had it as the headline of my blog for a while when I was still Changelink23.

I'm not sure where it came from anymore... But I think it was kind of the basis for "connecting the dots". Which is a fanfiction I wrote that is about Gwaine and the knights making up stories about Merthur. It was their game to guess what Merlin was up to and gossip about Arthur's pining. And collectively, they'd make up the entire series on accident.

My idea then was that the knights gather in a bar, got really drunk and basically play DnD with the BBC Merlin storyline. So, the knights of the round table, but at a bar. And maybe that table was round. And maybe it was their regular seat and they called it the round bar table.

After Changelink outdid its purpose and I got really deep into the Merlin concepts, I decided my name should fit the theme. And what else am I doing here with you guys, other than exchange ideas about Merlin while half sounding on drugs? It's my idea of being part of this fandom, I think. All of us sitting at the round bar table and having fun with the series together.

Now, fanfics:

1. Dirty laundry by Gybslythe (Voltron)

It's just... It has sentimental value for me. The author put down the story because they were bullied, sadly. I just felt at home in that fanfiction because the places seemed so familiar to me and I caught the feeling. I could compare it with me visitung my godmother as a child and the described places were just the best moments of my entire childhood. Also the writing style is SOOO good! I mimicked it for a mock exam and that was my best English Exam during my A-levels.

2. Sadly I don't know the actual name of this one :/

Funnily enough, it was a Gravity falls fanfiction... And a Bill cipher x reader one at that, which is WILD that I ever read it. The Reader thing really repulses me. Lol. The thing is, it was very non intimate and the world building blew my mind. It started off with Bill realizing his existence and step by step, he'd give his knowledge to the one human that interested him and therefore lost his power. The reader, however, grew with the knowledge and in the end, wakes up as the entity Bill had been. Just, suddenly knowing she existed, no memories of ever being human. It was so well done and pulled at my philosophical brain, I built "Wired" off of it.

3. Not a story but a series...

Anything by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle. This is the series that made my Merlin writings what they are. I read these and they brought me SOOO much joy! I used to write really depressive stuff. Still do. But after reading these, I wanted to bring that joy, too. I really dug into my humor after that and it really changed how I see stories and even myself and became the foundation of what I focus on in dialogues.

4. From the grave to the cradle by larcluce

I admit it, I'm a bit biased for this one because I'm so proud of larluce for posting their first story after wanting ME to write it. As if I could have done it justice. It's so good for a first work and yeah... I'm very proud of them.

5. My soul has your claim, my soul is in flames

(Voltron) i'm currently reading that due to my online friend's suggestion and it's just... Maybe it's because I'm currently obsessed with it but it really is just that good. It's everything I want from a voltron fanfic :) obliviousness, pining, misunderstandings, and reassurance and Lance's death reveal. Like... Yeah. I'm a sucker for this story.

...

There are probably a lot more on my list but I'm REALLY bad at remembering stuff XD I remember when I stumble on them. I just listed the ones that are at the top of my head. Sorry it's not a full ten :/ I actually write more than I read too. When I start reading, my mind gets ideas and then I have to write them down and I somehow rarely finish fics over 100k words.

BuT wRiTinG tHEm iS fInE.

By the way, I haven't read "like the cycle of the year" yet. It's been on my list for a while but I haven't gotten around to it. I know it's a fandom favorite. But maybe that's what's putting me off. It'll probably make me feel inadequate after reading it and comparing it to my stuff and then I'll feel bad about my writing. Which would by both oddly motivating and off putting, lol.

As a little bonus, I'll just say what I'm currently working on/planning to work on for now.

1. second chances (Drarry)

I've been writing on that one for over a year. Which is the longest I ever spend on a fic and also the longest fic I've ever worked on in total and also the one I most edited. I'm writing it for my girlfriend. I feel like I'm getting closer to the end and I will post it once it's finished.

Jkr sucks, by the way. She'd probably hate the story which satisfies me greatly.

It's a time travel au, obviously, in which Drarry was a muggle therapist after the war. The magical world doesn't respond well to the idea of therapy but that's not Draco's concern even though it should be. He just wants to atone for his sins. Being thrown back in time gives him that chance... But it also awakens deep traumatic issues while he struggles to help the good side and betray his parents and friends in the meantime. It's very analytical of his character and he suffers a lot and it's a lot of fun to do.

2. Karak'nirir- the goddess of creation (Voltron)

A Lance centric Voltron fanfic in which he is gifted the power of a goddess. I'm trying to get back into world building and well... I just really love Lance XD

3. The clockroom (BBC Merlin)

... It's on hiatus... Again. It's so hard to find the time to work on it. But I will... At some point. Probably. I hate unfinished business.

4. ... I'll probably focus on the Merthur marriage concept next. In which Arthur tries to raise Merlin's status and has Merlin learn magic in order to defeat Emrys. Cause then Merlin would be druid king and they can get married XD i want to apply some stuff I'm currently learning through "my soul has your claim" and maybe that will change how I write in the long run, too.

5. .... I should be working on a book that's publishable. Maybe feedback from professional book sellers will help me improve my work also.

By the way... Having 4 wips kills my brain. I hate it. One fic at a time. That's how I work best. It's too much for me. I'm dying. I have no ideas how other people do it.

Anyway.

Thank you for the question, anon ^^ I hope I answered it well enough XD

#bbc merlin #voltron #faq #ask #answer #anon

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darker-overlord · 1 year

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whoa, she launched!

happy launch day, kayo! she's my little pookie i love her so much that i bully her constantly through the narrative

in honor of today, i'll be dumping some REALLY old doodles (really old = two-three months ago) when i started working on her! unlike most of my dumps, i'll be describing and giving more context to the drawings! think of it as a little timeline of her development :D

*the oc blog is @lilies-and-forget-me-nots .. i forgor

drawing 1: our earliest kayo?!

this was dated january 17 2023. yeah. 2023. this year.

geez, was that really my art style just three months ago?

yes, unfortunately. though i'll attribute the fact that kayo looks 12 here mostly to the fact that i was still getting used to using an ipad to draw--still, you can really see that i had her design 90% down from the start. just changed her parting a little and removed the flower accessory + little ombre(?) in her hair.

at first, she was going to be a LOT closer to yui, but then if she was, she would've intervened as early as more blood, which was not something i was aiming for. plus, isn't it more fun thinking that she barely knows her (and yet pulls the stunt of taking her place for her sake... what a loser)

also, at first, she was going to just be straight up meaner for no reason. like literally just the worst person you can think of, but a problem with that is that she would definitely get killed if she was just horrible and toxic. plus, that was kind of boring on my end as well, so she kind of turned into a meowmeow.

adding to the old concept though, all her endings were supposed to be bad endings! then i scrapped that really quickly when i changed her personality...

drawing 2: our earliest hunter!

same day as the first drawing... yeouch.

as you can see, her hair was supposed to be a lot neater--and flatter--as a hunter. the cross clip is a lot smaller, and her palette was all over the place. like come on, why is her coat pink??

speaking of which, i changed hunter kayo to being a little messier than her old version because of a change in personality. this proto-hunter kayo still feels emotions very well. in fact, even more intensely than bride kayo. she's constantly angry--for what she went through as a young girl, for losing her eye--just a lot of things.

kind of funny that her personality pulled a 180 lawl

drawing 3: early outfit dump

i made the file for this drawing on january 19, but i believe i updated it as late as early march.

as you can see, it's really just outfit concepts. most of them are the same as the current outfit concept art--thanks to, well, me updating this file until march. you might be familiar with the three on the right, and the lost eden + dark fate outfit is practically the same as the one i posted. the hdb/mb outfit changed the most out of those three: i suctioned it to kayo's body to emphasize her figure more lol (i am the biggest kayo simp in the end)

as for the first two, you can see they were labelled for chaos lineage and lunatic parade! the chaos lineage outfit is probably already like 90% down for me, but the lunatic parade one is peculiar because, well, i scrapped it entirely. it's a cute outfit, for sure, but i didn't think it was kayo's style in the end. perhaps it might get the same hdb/mb outfit treatment and get tweaked to match her better, but i think her current lunatic parade design is solid!

drawing 4: early cg concepts

this was dated feb 25!

honestly, this is still really good, and i'm still planning on adding this scenario to laito's route. it's just that, once again, kayo is suffering from the bug-eyed twelve year old syndrome i was going through since january. plus i was (still am) bad at drawing men, so laito kind of came out looking like a really strange looking lady lol. it's so embarrassing i even had to crop it out.

drawing(s) 5: whoa sailor outfits?!

i actually drew this just two weeks after the last one--march 10th! you can clearly see my art style shifting at this point; i'm starting to think it's the switch from sketching with a soft brush to a hard brush.

this was, if you didn't already guess, in honor of the aquamarine series! of course, there are two: one for the hunter and one for the bride!

i have this running theme of "what would reiji (biggest discreet pervert) make bride kayo wear?" and that man loves his kayo legs, so naturally she had to wear thigh highs and an awkwardly short skirt. at least hunter kayo got away with just a crop top.

you can see something hanging on the hunter's waist--it's actually a demon hunting relic!

drawing 6: hunter kayo in ryotei au cgs?!

very recent drawing--dated march 29!

now, hunter kayo actually doesn't attend ryotei at any point of the series. it just so happens that i thought she'd look really hot in the uniform, and ta-da--i made an au! being an au, it's not canon, but i like to think she has a small route with shuu that doesn't really end well as you'd expect.

still, the sight of her kissing him as he bites on her knife is very very cool. keep up the good work hunter!

drawing 7: late highschool kayo!

the final doodle--dated less than a week ago!

this is really just kayo in high school after seiji's treatment of her started getting to her properly. i wonder what she's praying and why...

BONUS 1: CATGIRL KAYO!!

i was in the middle of making this post when a certain catboy-baiter (@poohwhin side eyes...) posted................

i love humans with animal features (i.e. not humanoid animals aka what you'd typically think of when you think of furries...) and genshin already devastated me with not only keqing but DEHYA being fake catgirls, so to recover emotionally i naturally made kayo a catgirl. ougggg she's so cute

BONUS 2: a kayoyui route?!

Yes. and it's finished. i just have to make the cgs and post it.

i mostly made it as a kind of exercise in making routes, since, well, i have to start making a lot. it only has five individual scenarios in the dark, manic, and ecstasy section, but it still has a prologue and epilogue. there are also only two endings!

it also serves to delve a bit more into the hunter's character, since bride kayo is the main focus of the blog. let's give her a little love, yknow!! even if she can't give any back...

#VERY long post

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soul-dwelling · 2 months

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Any new thoughts about current one piece? To me its just seems like Oda is throwing things at the wall at this point - Oh the elder is actually a monster, oh but Kuma comes, but oh Bonney can control the other robots, but oh the giants come too, but oh now ALL the elders come when just one was supposed to be the "hype" thing.

I guess the problem is that instead of being cool and exciting it just devalues everything - like one elder not being able to do everything leaves room enough for the others in the future, but now all five not really being able to do their job makes the whole concept of turning them from ruthless yet human politicians that do cry when they have to do inhuman acts into generic demon monsters that treat humanity as bugs be kinda not worth it, atleast in my oppinion

I received this ask on March 20, 2024.

I better answer it now, given some non-One Piece spoilers I read that kind of screw up what I'm going to say below.

(My Hero Academia spoilers below; spoilers for Justice League Unlimited below; spoilers about One Piece throughout.)

One of the inadvertent advantages of enjoying One Piece, while not being as close to the series and not remembering all details from it, is that these kinds of details bother me less compared to series I have a lot more familiarity with.

For those reasons, revealing that Saturn has a giant monstrous Devil Fruit ability didn’t bother me. If anything, I can enjoy the moment for the pure shock as well as, with reflection, what that may reveal: the reason Saturn has been in power this long is not just due to experience and intelligence but also a powerful Devil Fruit ability.

But as you say, when thinking about it, it does lead to disappointment--maybe in different ways than what you describe. What I mean is, okay, sure, Saturn now shows he has this giant terrifying power…and we can assume Luffy will beat him, because Luffy. At best Saturn’s power means he’ll overwhelm other characters first, which could cause irreversible harm or at least long-lasting harm.

As for the arrival of the other Elders and then showing off their powerful abilities: yeah, that is rushing things more than I think the story needed--that could have been saved for a future story. At best, it makes sense: the Elders are now just that desperate that they are going to do overkill to make sure to stop this problem right now. The problem is that, even if it makes sense for the characters, it does sap some anticipation in the story. As you said, “one elder not being able to do everything leaves room enough for the others in the future,” but now we got to rush everything to get to that reveal already.

As for the Elders coming across as less human--I’m ambivalent. To complain about a different series, it’s like how I feel about My Hero Academia and All For One.

On the one hand, yay, we made the fascist into a pathetic immature man-child and wannabe supervillain, showing that at the end of the day every fascist is nothing more than a bully who never grew up.

On the other hand, it means the way of defeating All For One will always be unsatisfying, not only because in our real lives we (for good reasons) don’t handle fascists and bullies that way and hence those fascists and bullies persist (making My Hero Academia a bothersome moment of escapist fantasies that inadvertently suggests the wrong way to handle fascists and bullies and denies us a real-world example how to address them).

Plus, by making All For One so pathetic, it leaves you thinking, “Why didn’t someone just do this to him before?” The manga at least does give an answer: in a society where no one extended a hand to help Tenko, why would you expect anyone to stand up to stop All For One? Then again, someone did stand up to All For One--a lot of someones, all the holders of One For All--and All For One’s long-term planning and massive power makes their sacrifices, especially All Might’s and Nana’s, seem pointless, and it requires the story to bend over backwards to act like All For One is so smart when, even within the story and with the suspension of disbelief, there is no way he could get every last bit of this stuff correct (up until he let his ego toying with Endeavor, Hawks, All Might, Stain, and Bakugo get in the way of just finishing the job).

What does all of my ranting about All For One have to do with the Elders? My point is, do you want to represent fascists as humans and hence they have flaws, emotions, maybe even sympathetic qualities, or for political motivation do you want to dehumanize fascists and portray them as just monsters? Each approach has its advantage--but neither version on its own is usually satisfying on its own. Probably the best iteration we got was Eiling / the Shaggy Man in Justice League Unlimited, someone who shows “honorable” qualities and perhaps some sympathetic ones, but who is still a raging fascist and, by his transformation, becomes monstrous on the outside and, as he concludes, “becomes what [he] hate[s],” another overpowered freak who hurts bystanders in a foolhardy quest against an equally powerful opponent.

Maybe Oda will do that with the Elders what Justice League Unlimited did with Eiling--but then we don’t get the satisfaction of seeing them get their asses kicked. Maybe Oda will just have them get their asses kicked--but will we also get a motivation representation of how we should be handling fascists, by holding them accountable by law and, through their punishment, reassert how such threats will be stopped and make an example of them so that no one ever abuses power like that again?

I mean, fascists do treat people like bugs. Even if they cry, that doesn’t suddenly change the awful things they have done (I’m not about to let someone weaponize their tears--going back to All For One again, cry harder over killing your brother, AFO). But, yeah, as storytelling, it is less engaging when the villain is just a straight-up fascist, because just about nothing they do is going to make you believe their emotions are anything more than an extension of their work to maintain their unsanctioned power over others. Unless you’re Odo from Deep Space Nine, it’s hard to write a fascist where you get how they eventually committed the injustices they did but can cheer on their redemption and understand their desires.

As for the other details:

Kuma showing up makes narrative sense, so that’s unavoidable.

Bonney controlling robots… I admit, I’m ignorant as to a lot about Bonney and her power set, so I don’t have an opinion on this.

The giants showing up… That is too awesome for me to worry about it: this is absolute fanservice, paying off the long wait. As I said, maybe if I was closer to One Piece then I would get annoyed; at the distance I have from the story, this is a feel-good moment of getting to see the giants return.

#one piece spoiler #one piece spoilers #long post

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prettyoddfever · 2 years

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do you support brendon ?

Yes.

The yes/no answer isn’t as simple as it should be because the concept of “supporting Brendon” seems to be currently tied into a whole alternate reality that’s based on a whole mess of misunderstandings, rumors, lies, and other things that I don’t even know much about. I have next to no background info about events after 2010, so I can’t begin to pick out what might or might not be true. But the parts I’ve seen people talking about that do involve years I’m familiar with (anything before 2010) come from such a wildly misinformed alternate reality that the info basically only serves as a red flag to show how little those people actually know about the entire topic they’re speculating over. If their understanding of the pre-split band is so minimal that they truly believe some of the things they’re saying, then I’m not really inclined to trust their critical thinking skills about later years either lol. A lot of the other commentary I’ve seen about 2005-2009 basically just tells me that people are willing to take a topic they know next to nothing about, speculate over it in an echo chamber, feel validated because the internet appears to share their perspective, and then treat it like fact.

Some of the other current condemnation of Brendon seems to be coming from people who were born after 1991 and weren’t teenagers at the same time as Brendon. There’s a definite generational gap happening here in the perception of some events, so just bear with me while I go off on a tangent that might be relevant:

My generation is largely a product of the entertainment & culture we were fed at every angle.… not the masterminds of it. We were not born as inherently horrible people. The 2000s were fun at times and I’m nostalgic for a lot of aspects, but I also have to balance that nostalgia with the understanding that the culture was truly shitty in a lot of ways and pretty much only respected straight white cis men (but I feel like they were still harmed too in a strange way since they were taught a lot of toxic behaviors & mindsets). On a slightly related note: I went to film school for a year in 2008 and we were legit told that a Hollywood screenplay needed to have its target audience be “18-to-25-year-old white men.” None of my teachers were white (and very few were men), but that was still the rule… and my teachers acted like that was just how the world worked and you should roll with it if you wanted to have a job. I remember wondering if 18-to-25-year-old white men naturally wanted such a specific type of humor & content, or if Hollywood had taught them to want it in the first place. I went into more detail in this post too about how the culture in the early 2000s was toxic for teen girls and taught us to treat each other horribly.

Modern teen culture seems more individualistic than the teen culture that Brendon & I grew up in. These days people might view a comment that you make as a reflection of who you are, but back then it felt more like we mostly tried to conform to a handful of acceptable images and their expected norms. Your comments & actions gave away whether or not you were a poser... they were a reflection of how well you could fit into a specific group. Strangers, other kids at school, and corporations didn’t give a crap about you (and certainly not your “authentic self” lol). Based on conversations over the past decade with a lot of friends from all over the country, it felt like there was a small box of what was normal/acceptable in the early 2000s and most of us just tried to conform to that for the sake of not being bullied. I’d argue that the kids who went outside of that box of “normal” (ex: goth, emo, Avril Lavigne wannabes, etc) either still tried to conform to their group and were vicious about calling out posers, or else their identity was grounded in the fact that they were not conforming… which only reinforces how the overall culture was something that people were expected to generally conform to. (Ok side tangent: I don’t know how to categorize that large group of kids at every school who just wore colorful sneakers, flared jeans, some kind of unisex graphic tee that was probably for a band or from a school activity, hoodies, and maybe got chunky highlights in their hair but nothing too wild. They fit in but didn’t try too hard. Anyways, their personality or sense of humor usually still matched what was common/“normal”). In my own experience, it really wasn’t that hard to be popular back then (and thereby safe). You just wore the right clothes & hairstyle and adopted a personality & sense of humor that matched what people expected… and suppressed almost every aspect of yourself in the process lol. Nobody talked about mental health when I was in high school, but I’m positive that everyone I knew wasn’t as fine as we all pretended to be.

side note: when I talk about the “2000s” I’m mostly focusing on 2000-2006. I think the fashion, music, and culture in 2008 slowly shifts to feel more like the early 2010s. By 2008 tween magazines had also significantly cut back on the content that basically bullied female celebrities. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that our culture started changing once sites like Tumblr & Twitter gained momentum throughout 2009 and people could access alternative views & ideas and converse with the world at large instead of the small bubble of people who already shared your interests on a specific forum. I don’t know how to phrase this, but there was a definite shift once ordinary people could direct the conversation online and could make their voices heard instead of just consuming the culture that was given to them. I’m not sure that teens these days fully grasp what the world was like before everyone was so connected… even just the concept of having internet and a cell phone in 2004 was very different from what that meant by 2007.

Teen culture was largely dictated to us by the media back then (in magazines, tv, MTV, movies, and other similar avenues that didn't have the ability for true dialogue or for their audience to have their voices heard regularly. There weren’t many decent books for teens, though, so we couldn’t even learn about diverse worldviews that way. Twilight eventually showed the publishing industry that young adults could be a very profitable niche, but it took many years to get the YA industry to what it is now. Also, the drama in YA books back then was like some white girl from a middle class family was anxious her classmates might discover she was “poor” and a poser, or whatever generic nonsense). Anyways, media showed us what to aspire to – we did not matter as individuals. These days there’s a much wider range of sources you can turn to for inspiration & ideas, and it doesn’t really feel like there’s some kind of overall homogeneous culture being dictated anymore. Social media has more power than a print magazine talking about last month’s events ever could (I know that algorithms mess with stuff and corporations buy out influencers etc, so I’m not saying that everything is perfect or trying to analyze anything on an intricate level here. I’m just pointing out how the channels that we get information through have expanded significantly since 2006… and I feel like that’s weakened the ability of the media & corporations to shape our culture or dictate what’s “normal” in the same way that they did in 2003. We have so many alternative options now and can easily see other ways of thinking or living… and sometimes just being able to actually see so many people who support a certain idea helps us critically examine our own understandings). Advertising also seems to have made a shift towards treating the individual more like an actual person (ex: the whole self-care trend). There’s also an amazing push for diversity & inclusion that celebrates the individual. There are so many aesthetics for your personal style, and people seem way more into authenticity and creating their own image via social media. So I think teens growing up in this culture might expect Brendon’s comments to be a reflection of his personal core values & authentic self, but I see them as a clear reflection of the culture he worked really hard to conform to. Obviously it’s still wrong to make those types of comments either way. But understanding where they come from & the motivation behind them can make a difference in how you view Brendon.

I really want to emphasize that some kids in my generation worked extra hard to conform for the sake of safety. There’s a strong push now to condemn bullying, but back then bullying was often treated as an unfortunate but inevitable part of society (and in my own experience, it felt like the bullies were almost celebrated… like many adults were proud of them for basically winning at life). My middle school certainly took a blame-the-victim approach or just didn’t care. It never even occurred to me to tell a teacher about the constant sexual harassment that many sophomore girls endured from the senior boys in our math class because it all seemed so completely normal to me. All of the schools I attended had pretty much the same advice about harassment & bullying: just ignore it… if you don’t give them the satisfaction of a response then they’ll move along (supposedly). Wearing a tshirt that says “it’s cool to be kind” in 2004 would have basically been like taping a target onto yourself and “asking for it,” but I’ve seen those shirts for sale in recent years (and felt a surge of terror for the poor child who might be caught in one before I remembered that things might be different now). Obviously bullying is still a problem today, but society’s overall attitude towards it has changed so much that I don’t know if today’s teens fully understand the environment that pushed a lot of us to try to fit in so hard. Some kids back then made it through high school just fine without changing much about themselves, but a lot of us learned to make ourselves the smallest target possible by fitting in with a group as much as we could. That applies to more than just high school, too. Marketing & the media basically thrived on creating a very narrow group of people who were “in” and then everyone else was a target to scorn or mock as they scrambled to pass for whatever was deemed acceptable that year.

The people I know in my own life who are having a harder time fully letting go of harmful ingrained behaviors & phrases are the kids who were bullied, didn’t have many friends in high school, were autistic, or for whatever other reason worked harder to practically memorize the social norms and “rules” of fitting in & being acceptable, or at least staying safe. It just seems obvious to me that Brendon would’ve been one of those kids. If you paid even the slightest attention to the pre-split band, you’d know that Brendon visibly strived to be likable and good enough. I have honestly never seen someone try so incredibly hard. He was almost desperate at times with his eagerness for acceptance & approval from the other guys in the band. Brendon also talked a lot about how he didn’t have many friends in high school… kids were generally not very kind to him. Brendon was “weird” with his ADHD and didn’t fit into what was considered normal. He tried hard to be funny. He also had the exact personality & mannerisms that my friends and I had even though he went to high school thousands of miles away from us. He was such a typical teen in 2005.

Any comment that Brendon might have made over a decade ago about wanting to rape a crowd would have sounded like a completely normal enthuastic/affectionate statement to anyone who was in high school in 2002-2005 (like Brendon). I’m not sure if people are trying to turn the cultural norms of a future decade into the status quo of the past or why they’re pointing out that moment, but obviously a comment like that wouldn’t be a literal statement (the fact that I even need to explain that feels so strange). Back then, screaming that you want to rape someone was largely a sign of affection. Running down the school hallway and yelling “Anna just raped me!” meant that she tackle-hugged you with affection. Yes, it’s a truly disgusting thing to say… but it’s not like a single one of us came up with that phrase on our own. We’re just a product of our generation. As another example, Brendon saying “I’m going to f— you, I don’t even care if you want it” to a crowd would be completely playing into what the crowds had largely screamed enthusiastically about for so many years. Again, I don’t see this as something like Brendon’s true thoughts coming out whatsoever… I see it as him stepping into a role onstage and playing into an image that he thought/knew people wanted.

I’ve seen some recent screenshots of people who have concluded that the only way that the “n-word” could possibly casually slip out of Brendon’s mouth is if he’s such a deep-rooted racist that his thoughts are just like that normally. And that kind of conclusion only reveals a staggering lack of understanding about the world that Brendon grew up in. People said the n-word all the time to be casually cool when I was in high school without thinking critically about what they were even saying. The motivation there came purely out of a desire to fit into the culture of that era (ex: Paris Hilton said it lots). I went to a high school that was like 98% white and kids would greet each other with “sup my n––“ all the time. Idk why everyone threw up gang signs for pictures either or tried to “talk ghetto” randomly (their phrase, not mine).

update: let me make this clearer with an example. Brendon said the n-word while singing the lyrics to a song. Some people seem to think that the fact that he didn’t hesitate must automatically mean that he’s just SO racist that the word feels normal to him. You’re projecting current cultural norms onto Brendon when you assume that he grew up with the same conditioning you have. I’m not saying that Brendon shouldn’t be held to those norms! The effect of his action is the same regardless of the cause... but wow people are certainly misunderstanding the cause. When Brendon & I were teenagers it would’ve been completely normal to say that word and sing those lyrics. Right now the word is obviously wrong to say, so you’d currently expect someone to hesitate or avoid the word altogether. But that is literally the opposite of the world that Brendon grew up in.

Anything that people didn’t like back then was labelled “gay,” “homo,” or “retarded.” I remember a short season where some kids were saying “that’s so Asian” instead of “that’s so stupid.” I think one kid from my school just heard the phrase somewhere and other kids automatically repeated it without thinking so they could be cool & prove that they were still fitting in. Yes, it’s obviously a major form of privilege to be clueless that what you’re saying is racist and/or harmful and has an actual impact. The driving need to fit in, not expose yourself as a target, and just survive high school sadly wasn’t particularly conducive to questioning social norms back then. I’m glad that social pressure is shifting these days so that it’s cool to care, to speak up, or to examine how others are affected by our words & actions, but back then it was like the opposite.

Common phrases and the main culture’s sense of humor back then confused me because the racist, sexist, homophobic, and generally mean comments didn’t seem very funny to me, but I just figured that something was wrong with me… so I worked extra hard to learn when to laugh at the correct times so I would seem normal. A lot of the humor and popular phrases back then were just inherently cruel & harmful. It’s not like people were never aware of that fact either… it’s more like being incredibly mean was often supposed to be funny? And if you were hurt by it, then people acted like you just needed to grow a thicker skin and lighten up.

There are obviously SO many things wrong with the stuff I just mentioned, and the fact that “most people did it” doesn’t excuse anything or make it any more acceptable now. But it’s going to take time & patience to help some people in my generation unravel the truly messed up culture that permeated almost every aspect of our lives. For some people, it might take a bit longer to shake that learned “cool” armor and condition themselves to a new normal (especially if they’re still hanging around someone else who’s stuck in the past). Obviously some people are just racists who don’t want to change, but I believe (or hope) that most of my generation would’ve never done those sorts of things if we were privileged enough to grow up with today’s type of internet. Our society absolutely still has a long way to go, but I hope that today’s teens can balance that knowledge with the understanding that my generation started from a very different place than they started from. We’re not the ones who created the culture of the early 2000s. We were just kids who grew up pressured to conform to the narrow world we knew. Yes, that culture is truly disgusting and inexcusable in hindsight. So cancel that culture then and help people recover & grow past that. There’s enough hatred in the world already without you adding to that. It seems like some people are getting a sense of power out of creating a mob verdict these days and almost celebrating their attempts to destroy Brendon. It’s strange to see people treat others terribly in the name of supposedly crushing hateful behavior.

At the same time I know that ignorant comments harm a lot of people, and that shouldn’t be a secondary concern that’s less important than helping my generation learn/change/grow. So I don’t have any answers here. I’m not happy with the culture I was raised in and I don’t want to turn my back on people my age who are still working on shedding that. Obviously nothing is as clear-cut or simplistic as people might want to make it seem. By continuing to support people who might have harmed others, am I automatically discounting those who have been harmed? Can’t you help both sides heal and care about them both? I’m still figuring things out. Also, if I dropped everyone in my life who had seriously messed up, I would literally be alone because we are all flawed humans. It’s not like I’m tolerating unacceptable behavior out of some self-serving desire to never be alone, either… the point is that I care about those people, so I want to try to help them succeed in life if they’re willing (and if it’s safe). Forgiveness is not even remotely the same thing as dismissing someone’s actions btw. It’s seeing a human who is more than their mistakes, trying to understand that person, and choosing to love them & support them as they grow. But I respect other people who might choose differently.

What’s important to me is that Brendon genuinely seems like he wants to do better and truly cares about other people. He’s shown that over & over with his actions. You can unfollow or hate me for not canceling Brendon if you’d like, but I’m glad that I refused to turn on Ryan in 2009 and kept an open mind there (that whole situation is a bit similar). Hopefully I’ll feel the same way as I continue to support Brendon.

side tangent: I worry about Jon Walker sometimes. He’s been put on this pedestal of being a perfect guy who is unproblematic, so his current identity would just be wiped out if he does one thing wrong. Too many people seem to hold up a celebrity as some sort of god, place part of their identity in him, and then lash out when it turns out that he’s actually a flawed human who didn’t reflect the image that they wanted for themselves.

Some aspects of teen culture haven’t changed tbh. Kids are still waiting for you to screw up by breaking social norms so they can gang up on you and ostracize you. It’s awesome that the expected social norms are shifting towards normalizing kindness & inclusion instead of the negative stuff from the 2000s that was basically the opposite. But it’s truly strange the way that some people these days are acting like attacking & harassing a person who’s been deemed worthy of cancelling (or their fans) somehow makes them righteous. It’s still cowardly cyberbullying. I’m paraphrasing a friend here, but at least teens in my generation largely owned the fact that they were being mean. Cyberbullying was sometimes a bonding activity for teens in the 2000s and it seems like not much has changed in that regard. Obviously it’s perfectly ok to dislike someone… you are free to have whatever opinions you want about Brendon. But bonding with other people by bullying Brendon & his fans seems so toxic. Your common interest is literally hatred. And some people just seem overly excited to have an excuse to go full steam ahead with the hatred they seem to have been determined to aim at Brendon no matter what.

I don’t think Brendon’s silence over the past couple years is “deafening,” damning, or in any way strange. All four band members were trained by their PR team to stay silent and carry on through most rumors in 2006-2009. I know there’s a totally different situation in our culture now where people have way better access to celebrities online, but I still think it’s odd to expect Brendon to publicly acknowledge online rumors. That’s a dumb PR move that only draws further attention to what’s being said. It might feel like thousands of people are already talking about it, but that’s nothing compared to what media coverage of an actual statement would generate (ex: compare what fans were saying about Ryan’s possible cocaine picture in April 2009 to what countless people were talking about after Ryan actually addressed the cocaine picture from July 2009… the fact that it became “the cocaine picture” says enough. Ryan’s statement to MTV didn’t even matter to the fans who were convinced he was a drug addict whose life was spiraling out of control, but it certainly drew outside attention to the rumors about Ryan and what the fandom had been saying. I’d also argue that it contributed to some media perception of Ryan moving forward). Or look at how the Brent situation was just a fandom meltdown & normal news until it spun out of control with the band’s statements to the media and escalated into a total headache. Making a public statement on a large platform usually isn’t the best way to end rumors.

Brendon already did make a statement in November 2020, though. And I saw so many people brush that off. So would anyone even care what Brendon had to say or believe him if he bothered to further “break his silence”? Or would everyone just brush Brendon’s comments aside and say that they still know the “truth” no matter what? I mean, just look at how people currently treat the band’s split. All four guys (plus all of the people surrounding the band) made countless comments that all explained the exact same thing that fans had been observing for years at that point. The split made complete sense to me and was a reallllly long time coming, yet kids today seem to ignore basically everything about the irl band and would rather believe whatever drama they invent on their own.

I don’t know how Brendon can even start to address some of the allegations when they’re so grounded in an alternate reality/perception of both him & the band. Is he supposed to sit down and give people a history lesson of the actual dynamics of the early band or culture in the 2000s?? If he didn’t spend literal hours explaining the basic history that people are clearly lacking, would they even believe his claims that something isn’t true, or would they just dismiss it because it conflicts with the reality that everyone in their bubble shares? It seems futile for him to even begin to craft any sort of statement. People have already shown that they are determined to hate Brendon & tear him apart no matter what. In early 2020 Brendon seemed like a puppet who was dancing around trying to placate the section of the internet that hates him, yet people still ignored his genuine attempts to do better, ignored whatever apologies or explanations he made on Twitch, and kept harassing him & his fans. He definitely couldn’t win then, so why would one more statement now make any difference? If you walk away from an abusive situation, that’s not suspicious or a sign of weakness on your part. I think it’s healthy that Brendon could distance himself from everything.

Also: if you can look back to 2011 for examples of things to cancel Brendon for, then why do other Decaydance band members get away with things they said & did in 2006-2008? It’s like that one girl who went to jail for downloading music from Limewire… it was weird that she got singled out and had to face extreme consequences for actions that a good chunk of her generation did too (except maybe that’s not the best analogy because most of us could spot that stealing music was wrong even if people still went ahead with it). It’s just so strange to see people act like Brendon is the antichrist while the rest of his peers are fine nbd. There also seems to be a double standard with how some fans treat Ryan vs Brendon now. They’ll work hard to justify anything Ryan’s done and point out how he’s been through a lot with people treating him like crap. That scenario should absolutely apply to Brendon too, yet those people hold him to an entirely different standard for some reason. A lot of the people I’ve seen who are very anti-Brendon seem to have a loose understanding of the band’s pre-split years. They also tend to act like they need to be against Brendon in order to support Ryan now as though those two are somehow connected in a strange sort of seesaw where you’re automatically raising one side by lowering the other. Ryan and Brendon are very different, separate people who are both flawed humans. It’s totally possible to support them both.

Some of the perceptions people currently have of the band in 2005-2009 essentially take away Ryan’s agency, turn him into a passive victim, erase his creative vision & goals, infantilize him, and basically ignore him and what he actually wanted. You’re not doing Ryan any favors by erasing him & replacing him with your own creation. When you try to claim that Ryan left P!ATD because Brendon was some kind of horrible person, then you erase the real people, years of context, and basically do yourself an injustice because you’re so absorbed in an alternate reality that you’re missing out on knowing about the real-life band. I understand that people are more likely to be invested in a storyline that they connect with emotionally, so reality might seem less interesting in comparison to what they’re inventing through speculation with their friends… but you can’t actually rewrite history. Claiming that it’s “impossible to know everything” about the pre-split band also isn’t an excuse to validate whatever story you want to invent. These events did not happen that long ago lol... I wasn’t in high school during some kind of prehistoric culture that’s been lost to time. If you feel like there’s a mystery to solve about the early band, then that’s a problem with your knowledge... not the actual band. Most of the fake stories that people currently believe about pre-split Panic would never seem plausible if you had even the most basic understanding of the band during that time period (and the same thing goes for a lot of the current claims against younger Brendon... like if you had some basic context for those years then you’d just roll your eyes at how some teens today actually think that the “Lana Jade letter” was serious/real).

When I first got back into the fandom in 2020 I started to reconfigure my understanding of the early band to match what a couple fans were telling me since I hadn’t thought about P!ATD much in like a decade and it seemed smarter to trust people who had been in the fandom in recent years. For a few months in mid-2020 I was ready to believe anything about Brendon since the reality I remembered didn’t match up with the narratives I was being told. Then I slowly figured out that one of the girls I was talking to was a compulsive liar, the other girls meant well but were very misinformed, and the current fandom is basically a mess that I don’t want much to do with. So now I’m just using this account to focus on the early eras as I knew them. That doesn’t mean that I’m ignoring the post-split years because of any opinion about them (I don’t know them well enough to even form an opinion tbh). It’s rather depressing for me to look at current stuff & see how much the guys have aged because then I can really see how much of my life went by while I was sick for a decade. So my decision to keep my head mostly buried in 2005-2009 is just my method of coping right now... there is no statement there about the modern band or anything. I still support Brendon, Ryan, Spencer, & Jon as individual people and hope they’re doing well! I'm definitely curious to see whatever they might be working on, but I'm not particularly interested in getting too involved in the modern fandom right now.

#brendon urie

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utilitycaster · 2 years

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So I acknowledge on some level I can never control what people reply on posts and usually I quietly delete these, but: most replies I get on D&D mechanics build questions are pretty rough.

I think the most common problem is people recommending really niche or complicated stuff for self-admitted very new players. The most egregious example was someone recommending a completely new homebrew unofficial class to a new player - ie, something that's going to cost them money, might have weird mechanics no one is familiar with, and has few build tips online - but much more commonly people will bring up complicated multiclasses or weird feats and it's like, with all due respect, there is a reason I kept this simple.

Another really common thing is not actually listening to what the player is asking and considering it. I'm not saying the asker is always right. In fact, I'm explicitly not saying that. But there's so much more to answering than just What Does The Most Damage or even the basic question. There's a reason I ask for party makeup! As the previous paragraph indicates, I do take into consideration whether the person involved mentions that they're new to D&D, and if they're doing things more for flavor/backstory or if there's a mechanical purpose and if a revision of the flavor without changing mechanics might do better. We can all understand that if someone says "I'd like to play a warlock, but I'd like to be able to heal", there's a huge difference between hexadin and celestial patron, even though both are valid options; but a lot of people jump to one or the other without hearing the asker out about their other needs.

And on top of all of this, sometimes I will in fact recommend something other than build...and that's also thought out too. If someone describes a DM who is bullying them, the solution isn't to passive-aggressively play a coffeelock, the solution is to use your fucking words, and maybe they'll actually figure shit out and become a better DM in the process but at least the asker won't have to put up with them. I joke about it but actually, Murph's classic "find better friends" is genuinely good advice; it's better to tell people they're acting like assholes instead of turning everything into some kind of bitter war of attrition. The power to fix the broken stair is in your hands.

This hasn't come up super recently but it's something I think about a lot. I think the TTRPG community in particular is very bad at actually listening to people's questions and meeting them where they are, rather than pushing their own agenda (*cough* people who blindly hate D&D and recommend their indie fave with no consideration of what story people want to actually collaborate on *cough*), and the internet in general is full of people who think that providing unsolicited advice is helpful. For all my opinions I do actually put a pretty significant effort into trying to consider the actual problem being posed, rather than telling everyone to fit into my specific idea of what's fun to play in D&D. So do please keep that in mind, and go find a reddit thread for niche weird build concepts if you're looking to express those.

#d&d mechanics #this is actually mostly prompted by tortle tank #which i love because 90% of the time the naddpod crew is like. why did you do this.

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dopscratch · 7 months

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FNAF MOVIE THOUGHTS BECAUSE I CANT SLEEP

non spoiler version: solid 8/10, beautiful animatronics, glorious set, wished for a bit more horror/tension but overall it was entertaining and enjoyable and surreally awesome to see

(spoilers below)

for my rating,

scares were very lacking, the only time i jumped was when i heard matpat, and there werent any moments that made me feel uneasy. i think my standards got sent sky high after watching battington so much though hahah. i feel like making the lighting darker/more desaturated at some points and a few more moments of quiet tension and good ambient sounds could have fixed this, though overall this doesn't bother me TOO much and i still enjoyed the movie immensely, still, point docked.

spring bonnie looked amazing and he did NOT get enough screen time, point docked (this also refers to the lacking buildup for his reveal and the fact that afton doesnt even wear the spring bonnie head most of the time)

no phone guy :(

overall though i loved this movie and there were so many points where i was sitting there pointing at the screen excitedly slamming my armrest. it wasn't perfect, surely not the best movie ever made, but it was a solid and entertaining start that made me happy and i hope to see more.

anyway, now for other thoughts

for most forms of media i hate it when there are lore inaccuracies between adaptations but for fnaf it works so well? like with the games and the books and even the eras of games you have various continuities and they're all different and unique but also contain similar themes and motifs and you can use some to infer things about the others and i absolutley love it

like right now the movies makin me think about if game mike ever had to do some of williams dirty work?? has game mike ever made a misjudgement or rash desicion when confronted with something suggesting child abduction (or maybe to extend it more, bullying/abuse?)

also if movie mike & his family are actually related to the henry emily equivalent?? like we have garrett who like charlotte gets captured and killed by afton at a DIFFERENT point in time than the missing children's incident and afton presumably went out of his way to go get him too- you cant convince me afton came across the schmidts by chance and the way he LOOKED at mike reading his name like he was ANALYZING HIM dang i could feel that stare it was crazy. i feel like there has to be more significance to this. a father who takes a death in the family poorly?? a kid abducted before the missing children's incident? sounds familiar... (also i just really like mike in all of fnaf and the way he was characterized in this movie was so interesting and i am probably just desperately telling myself this because i really dont wanna see him sidelined for vanessa, who i always found as a sort of mid character)

does movie william have multiple kids or just one? if the schmidts are the emily parallels (which is. just my speculation and hopes.) and theres multiple kids maybe movie afton only has 1 child??

parallels parallels galore too!! like how vanessa being aftons daughter rationalizes her appearance in the movie a lot so she's still that reluctant follower without all that crazy ai business! mike's negligence leading to guilt over something bad happening to his lil bro! abby nearly getting stuffed into the possibly circus baby suit!! its just so wild to me

expect more speculation from me because I am goin nuts over this movie. so many unanswered questions and so many ways to take this and apply it to concepts in other facets of the franchise. love all of this new material and how its going back to the roots of just old supernatural stuff, ghosts in grimy old machines business. i just love the simplicity of it and the many ways it can be executed

#fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's movie #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf movie spoilers #rancid ramble

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indepth-mbti · 1 year

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i've seen your ig acc & i enjoyed consuming your posts.

so i've been wondering about my type. for a while i thought i was an intj. i knew about the functions, but i only focused on the dominant ni types since *i think* i relate to them. but upon further researching about types, i come to conclude that i relate more to inferior fi than tertiary fi. as much as i don't want to, i force myself to dig deeper into my memories & had an epiphany: the reason i have no friends or that i was bullied by the people around me, including my cousins, is that because i was *& is* argumentative. i want people to follow & believe what i say. in the place that i lived, our family was a bit on the privileged side than most people there, so i dominate the kids who i *thought* were beneath me. but when i was faced with my cousins who were boys, i suddenly lose my courage. as a child, i already had the concept of people being expendable. so i discard people who i cant benefit from by being mean to them and alienating them from the group. but when i thought a kid is beneficial to me, most specially in the social department, i automatically became nicer to them, expecting them to be my friend. basically, during my elementary days, i was the mean girl in our class. but when i enter highschool, i realize that having friends is useful, & immediately understand that i should be more amiable to collect friends to help me with things (specially math). i think it's Te, albeit very unhealthy and immature use of the function. and since i repress it for most of my highschool life, and the trauma that i have gotten because of my attitude, i didn't realize up until this point that that was te, since upon its repression, i became meek and socially shy. all along i always believed it to be just auxiliary. but what i displayed inside our house showed a lot of dominant te. i may follow what our parents say, recognizing their authority, but i always forge a path of my own, wanting to achieve my own goals that, in the long run, will benefit them too. i actively participate with decision making regarding what goes on in our house & my future. i also imposed rules on my younger brother & berated him if he didn't follow it. i can't trust my own knowledge so i have to trust reliable sources to validate what i know. now that i'm in college i'm exercising my te in a healthy way.

the only thing that i'm confused is to whether i used ni-se or si-ne. i'm both detail-oriented & big picture thinker. i sometimes get bogged down by details & wanted everything to be as what i envisioned it to be. i'm meticulous with my projects, striving for perfectionism, follows the methods that i know will give me the results that i want. i want order in the group that i am in, & so wanted clear heirarchy on who will lead or not or who can be efficient or not. i'm not really good with organizing physical things (my mom — who i suspected to be an si dom — always berate me because i'm shitty at organizing our shoe rack). but i'm good with organizing data, abstract theories (given they have practical applicability), & my priorities. when i'm dealing with things that i'm not familiar with, just like in cooking, i want to have explicit step-by-step procedure because i'm afraid i will fuck it up. i hate coming up with new ideas. so when we were brainstorming for our research topics, i instantly thought of the milgram experiment (which is connected with behavioral psych & something i'm familiar with) & modify it to extract the essence of the research. when i'm working with projects, i always search on the internet for possible topics or procedure, and if i found something that interest me, i found ways to connect it to my project and work from there. i'm not really good with remembering details, & when i tried to remember data from the past, what i come up with was its synthesis or my overall impression. my past was murky, i don't really put too much stock on it but i trust what works best before, & i found myself considering tried and tested methods to solve a problem. when a problem is presented, i perform leaps in judgement. i don't really need to know any missing data before i come up with conclusions. i'm good at determining the cause & predicting the future, base on the available info at hand. sometimes, i found myself being bogged down by future possibilities, oftentimes negative. i really hate multiple possibilities, but in order for me to assuage my anxiety, i think of contingency plans to prevent any of the negative possibilities from happening. but when i can't think of anything else, i don't have an issue with acting swiftly, just to get the job done. i'm sorry this is too long! & thank you for lending your time in helping me with my confusion. have a good day!

You're an ENTJ. 683 tritype, but I'm not sure about your core type, I'll say E6.

Your arguments for dominant Te and inferior Fi are on point. Let me tell you this: it is a positive to be aware of your flaws and to accept them with honesty. But be careful, because many Te doms while accepting their flaws and mistakes may fall into a "those are the facts, and me acknowledging them is enough" state.

About your middle axis, I lean towards NiSe because in your writing style there's nothing that points out towards the categorization of ideas and the awareness of the inner states typical of Si users. You express yourself in terms of ideal tendencies/essences you want to reach. Most of what you wrote in the second paragraph is actually Te dom again, but those things are Ni-Se:

"but i'm good with organizing data, abstract theories (given they have practical applicability), & my priorities." - TeNi

"so when we were brainstorming for our research topics, i instantly thought of the milgram experiment (which is connected with behavioral psych & something i'm familiar with) & modify it to extract the essence of the research." <- Ni > Ne. Convergency > Divergency.

"and if i found something that interest me, i found ways to connect it to my project and work from there." <- Ni

I'll say E6 due to the following statements:

"i can't trust my own knowledge so i have to trust reliable sources to validate what i know. now that i'm in college i'm exercising my te in a healthy way." <- this is Te + E6

"i found myself being bogged down by future possibilities, oftentimes negative." <- E6

"but in order for me to assuage my anxiety, i think of contingency plans to prevent any of the negative possibilities from happening." <- E6

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ultravioart · 11 months

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Also, I recently watched the movie Nimona and got familiar with both the movie and comic. I see a LOT of Nimona in Lord Dominator so I want to channel some of that.

Stevenson had definitely put pieces of Nimona's personality into LD, you can see this in the comic version Nimona especially. Never needing help, refusing help, claiming to never being able to change and she's killed people and 'that is who she is', hiding in the form of a human as opposed to hiding in the form of a monster--an unexpected twist. Having two halves, a monster, and a girl. The connections LD's design has with Mojo jojo is also notable when compared to comic Nimona's possible origins-- pink eyes green skin and pointed ears, a lab experiment. Nimona's movie character in her spunkiness also reads as Lord Dominator's quirkiness, so I think I will use that as inspo for more of Lord Dominator's personality in the Dominion au. As for her story, Lord Dominator is a bully, but s3 was going to tackle topics about forcing people to be something they aren't--how forcing a bad guy to be good isn't actually helping, a person has to choose to be good to actually be good. I think Dominator would have some kind of CWO effect but also the concept of LD being forced to be out of suit. Without her powers, without her ability to express and play. Lord Dominator's play is APART of her, just as much as play is a part of Wander, and I think that intrinsic similarity can lead to Lord Dominator at the end of the AU acting as a galaxy wide protector against outside threats like the enforcement force lol, a theatrical force of nature, scary big sis of the galaxy. Meanwhile in the au, Lord Hater would become the galaxy's new rock n roller hero, with Peepers at his side. I think Peepers and Lord Dominator in the Dominion au would almost have a reversed Nimona and Blackheart dynamic, "you got it boss!" is too adorable to pass up for Peepers lol. And it also fits with Peepers being bitter about Hater...... comic Nimona vibes r real.

#dominion au #woy au #lord dominator #text

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kitsunefyuu · 2 years

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Title: But first they must Catch you - First Chapter | Prologue

Concept: Can Izuku Midoriya become a hero even though he’s seen as just a fragile rabbit. Bunny!Izuku verse but taken seriously as if in the MHA canon. While also sprinkling dfo. This chapter a set up.

Warnings: Bullying, Prejudice against Heteromorph, Children are mean to those different especially in Aldera. Mild but not severe Injuries.

————————

Not all Men are created equal.

Come can move mountains. Some can become mountains, they can breath under water, or do multiple things.

But if you look different it doesn’t matter what you do. You will never be a part of the masses.

“You can’t run forever Deku!” A familiar voice rang behind him as Izuku regretted his life choices.

His shoes have since been thrown off they only hindered him. His rabbit feet hitting the concrete as he jumps up as high as he could onto the fence.

Climb- Climb-!

His hands reach up but his arms were so much weaker then his legs as tries to pull himself over. Only to feel something grab his tail after hearing a blast.

“EEEEEeeee-!” A loud rabbit like screech escaped before he was yanked down right onto the floor. Obviously they didn’t catch him as he fell onto his back the pain just from his tail being yanked made him freeze up.

“First you try to show off during gym then you run off like a coward. You got a LOT of nerve,” Bakugou sneered, referring to how in gym he used his quirk to jump even farther Normal then Bakugou.

Apparently many considered his natural leg strength using his quirk thus ‘cheating’ as no one is allowed to use their quirk. The very idea that Kacchan lost to a cheater seemed to send him in a rage and now was out for blood. All because Izuku tried to be brave enough to TRY in one thing he might be good at.

“Have you been holding out? Did it make you feel good to make me look like an idiot you flea brained rabbit!” He sneers if he has been younger then Izuku is sure would have blasted him. But after realized fur burns marks can’t be hidden he improvises.

“I-I wasn’t trying to make you look like an idiot,” he squeaks only to feel him step on his ear earning a strangled cry. Clearly that was the wrong answer and he shut right up.

“It doesn’t mean shit. You are nothing more then a weak ass Deku. So don’t you dare fucking think you won it was a damn fluke. As I caught you easily,” he growls as sparks showed in his hands making the threat clear.

Stay out of his way or else.

Stepping off his ear it seemed Bakugou was satisfied at his trembling state. He wasn’t going to argue with him on it just shaking a bit as waited for the male to leave.

My name is Izuku Midoriya, I’m 14 years old and I’m the only heteromorph in my school. In a world full of super powers.

And what did I get? It’s literally a weak Rabbit.

“Ugggh, why couldn’t I have been something like a tiger or something not small prey animal related,” he covers his face as whines once the teen was gone. His leg twitches from agitation before he sits up and moves a hand to his injured ear.

There was blood.

“For someone trying to be a hero he toes the line a lot. He should know rabbit ears are fragile…..” he speaks but in a sense he was used to pain. Though he deflated looking at the space between his furry legs.

It wasn’t like he was naked. He was forced into a uniform, forced to even wear shoes as it wouldn’t be fair. It hurt.

While If he was pant-less it wasn’t like anyone would see anything really his fur was thick. But he isn’t about to find out if he won’t get in jail for public indecency even if the heat kills him.

His tail at least was free courtesy of his mom and dad taking him to a tailor. Downside there have been people who tried to touch without permission.

��I hate this uniform I could have outrun them…” he mutters as he picks up the stuff that fell out of his backpack. He hears the sound of something like a sonic boom and looks up.

Hoping he can see if it was All Might. All he got was trickle of rain….

Hhe should hurry home even if wanted to go back for his shoes it was too late.

The school is likely closed by now so will just have a to get home without them. The concrete was weird on his feet but he didn’t have paw pads despite popular belief. Just fur so it didn’t bother him too much as it allowed him to run on hot or cold without a sound.

Lot of good that does me when most clothing aren’t made with a rabbit bottom in mind.

To know your own quirk and yet can’t use it to its full potential. Being a Hero was both a dream and a goal to escape the confines of these restrictions. He could be like All Might or the new up and coming hero Mirko!

She was a rabbit based quirk too though hers are less Physical like his it was still the same.

It’s what gave him hope for the future. Despite the bleeding ear he is having right now.

Aw crap he can’t go home like this.

Mom will flip and ask who did it and if lies she would figure it out. Iif tells the truth Bakugou might get in serious trouble and life ruined this time. That damn idiot-!

“Uggghhh what am I supposed to do,” he groans and looks around before going into a public bathroom. Sure it cost a bit to get access but he can’t go home like this. Even if Bakugou deserves it he doesn’t want him to lose his chance for real.

It would feel like cheating if can’t even compete.

“Ok water, soap, bandages and napkins,” he whispers to himself as goes to clean his ear. Feeling the way it stings making him flinch as tries to make sure it looks presentable.

At least if covered can lie and say accidentally got caught in something. That was believable right?

His tail twitches just a hint before he stomps his foot feeling frustrated. Wondering why Kacchan can be such an idiot sometimes and if wanted to lose his chance of being a hero.

“Ok it’s fine. I’ll just…. Sneak into my room. Yeah that works fine,” Izuku sighs as goes to leave the room feeling pretty good. Holding his head up as tries to ignore the have the bandage made his ear droop from the added weight.

He wasn’t the best at first aid but he is still figuring it out. But it was passable and the rain seemed to have pass by.

“Mom I’m home-!” He calls out as entered his home out of habit. Which he instantly regretted as his mom pokes her head out of the kitchen.

“Izuku there you are! You’ve been worrying me half to death!”

His mom looked at him angry almost flabbergasted that he was so late. Only for her eyes to widen when sees his bandages ear.

“Oh no- Izuku what happened to your ear?” There was a sense of dread in her voice as the if realizing what has happened. He gives a sheepish smile as tries to not seem bothered even if the pain lingered along with the threat.

“It’s nothing I just got it slammed in something and had to have the nurse take care of it,” that was a believable lie right?

Inko did not look convinced if anything she looked more worried. The silence grew as she processed his words then slowly began to speak, “Izuku-“

He isn’t ready to see her pity him again.

“I’m fine! Don’t worry I got home work to do just make me a plate and leave at the door,” he speaks firmly as goes to walk pass his home red from embarrassment.

“Wait Izuku-!” she called out but he was already in his room throwing himself onto the bed. The sound of his mother grew quiet. Likely she understood at the moment he wasn’t feeling like talking.

Already he was stripping out of his uniform to go into the shower. Needing a deep clean after being grabbed and stomped in. Though he pauses as he looks at himself in the mirror.

The hero in his head never did match the hero he sees in his reflection. Dark green fur covered his legs that bend in the way rabbits do. His feet covered in fur with claws, and down his spine to where meets the fur was a cottontail. Green on top and white on the bottom.

His hands move up the side of his head through his hair before settling to the top. Where two rabbit ears laid one damaged by the assault a hint crooked but easy to fix. His hand instinctively flattens them against his head before sights.

“You got this. You can still be a cool hero,” he whispers to himself as clenches his fist. His words felt hollow but he says them.

Because this was his story and even if no one believed in him as long as he keeps trying then he can become a hero.

———————

{ Authors Note; Everyone has their Izuku has a quirk or villain or whatever but no one ever tries to take a serious Izuku has a heteromorph/animal quirk. Mostly the bunny quirk it used for fun or less savory things. Which has it own struggles and prejudice as implied in the canon series. With Spinner and other heteromorph that aren’t heroes.

So I decided to take it into my own hands though this is more of a prologue since no hero or anything happens. I thought it be good to show Izuku backstory just a hint rather then implying it by going right to the good parts.

So hope you like it! I’ll likely post a more polished one on Archive if Our Own, but this is definitely something I been wanting to write for a while~

#my hero academia #bnha #izuku midoriya #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #Katsuki Bakugou #yoly’s fanfics #yoly’s writing

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thekuraning · 9 days

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still going through my old laptop backups! some more old slowpoke tails and koffing fumes art under the cut!!!

Last time was just olympicshipping stuff but sometimes when i write i do little concept sketchies to help wrap my head around things so today im gonna show off some of those. they used to be on my deviantart but frankly i am uncertain if my page even still exists so back here they go!!!

if you remember alex no you don't i don't have like... a ton of art of him. because he's been canned so hard he might as well be sardines. and if you dont remember him he was a major antagonist in petrel's plot line who defected from team rocket. despite being a "major" antagonist i think he mostly only showed up in a couple chapters, mainly in the oh no they got arrested arc around ch20

here he is in technicolor

his sableye's name was slim. and if that sounds familiar.... it's because Alex actually followed the route of a lot of my old Rocket OCs and got repurposed! In this case, Nanu ate his heart and absorbed his powers and became the Ultimate Traitor (I Am All of Me from Shadow the Hedgehog blares in the background)

ive also got decarli and kevin from proton's crew

Decarli's remained... mostly consistent between STKF and ZFDS! he was always supposed to look pretty generic as a person and he's remained a music teacher-turned-rocket but!! someone who didn't make it into ZFDS is his lovely little mawile, Shoyu!! She was actually named by a reader for winning a contest! And actually, since this was back in the day when it was super easy to generate your own pokemon, I gave her away as a promotional gift, complete with her in-universe moveset and Decarli as her OT :) I don't keep in touch with the person who got her, but I hope she's out there somewhere in the big ol' pokemon world. And I hope she got to mega evolve at least once.

kevin did not make the cut to ZFDS and will proceed to not make the cut (but his sweet lil rattata, Ribbon, is going to find a new trainer soon!)

in ZFDS, Proton has flashbacks to the time he murdered his highschool bully and shoved his body into the river, but in STKF, his highschool bully ended up in Team Rocket, and his name was Kevin!! He ended up working in Proton's department in the HGSS arc. he had a big crush on proton, so petrel hated him

its ok kevin hated him back.

thats actually all the slowpoke tails old art i was able to find, so i shall now leave you to bear the weight of this curse:

#kuraart #kcu:stkf #pokemon #team rocket #ocs #im just queueing up a bunch of these #kuras regularly scheduled bullshit

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alias-sam · 5 months

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Pierced by a Golden Soul

Chapter 13. Video Killed the Radio Star

Platonic Jojo's x Reader

Summary: Fate is a bizarre concept with countless more bizarre implications. In life sometimes such extraordinary events happen that the only reasoning left must be fate. The tragedies that constantly befall the Joestar bloodline for example may be the unluckiest series of cards drawn in human history, or perhaps the work of a greater power. There is no way to tell for sure. Had Dio Brando or Jonathan Joestar moved slightly on a divergent path the world itself would be left very different. The fate or luck of the noble Joestar bloodline has led to destruction of evil likes of the Pillar Men and DIO. This story is of a similar caliber to that of the other Joestars (as I am sure you are familiar with them). This is a story of lost souls, compassion, hope, and above all fate.

Word Count: 2,113

(Crosspost from Wattpad, full fic is already posted there.)

On Friday at 6 a.m. you stood at the entrance to your school's football stadium.

"Are you sure he'll be here?" Jotaro sighed tiredly. He had agreed to meet you at the school. Classes for the day had been cancelled so there wouldn't be anyone else on campus but staff and personnel trying to fix the electrical problems.

"Almost definitely." You nodded, walking up to the chain-link gate that led into the stadium. There was an old rusty padlock holding the gate closed, you squatted down and fiddled with it, trying to guess the combination. "Tim's got a bone to pick with the football team. Since school's out for the day, it would be the perfect time for him to try swiping the season trophy." You looked up at Jotaro who was just standing over you. He always looked angry in some way, but right now it felt like he was growing impatient. "What's wrong?" Jotaro motioned for you to step aside. You backed up a few paces and watched as Jotaro's Star Platinum lightly flicked the lock. The gate slowly creaked open, and Jotaro proceeded inside.

"Compared to the motives of prior enemy stand users? This is ridiculous." Jotaro muttered listlessly.

"That goes to show the kind of emotional maturity teenagers have." You said following the man.

"I've never seen a stand user apply their abilities for something so juvenile."

"Say what you will, but I think this is an extreme but reasonable reaction. Maybe this is meaningless to you, but that trophy means a lot to my classmates, and Tim's looking for good revenge." You glanced around at the empty bleachers and field "I think his stand messed with his head or something." Jotaro stopped to look back at you.

"How so?"

"Well... Tim went from a mild-mannered wallflower to a rude bully overnight. I just thought, could his stand have anything to do with that?" Your stand user mentor stood in silence staring off into space for a solid minute. "Mr. Kujo?"

"Maybe." Jotaro muttered. "Different people have different reactions to stands, and stands have different effects on their users." He continued walking through the stadium and onto the field. You slowly followed him. Jotaro thought back to when he first developed his own stand. To many, it also appeared he changed overnight. In just a day he wound up in jail.

"I'm just hoping he's cooled off since yesterday."

"And if he hasn't?" Jotaro asked flatly. You unconsciously cupped your bandaged hand. It didn't hurt but there was a faint scar from the burn. Jaya had told you to take it easy since her hamon healing couldn't do everything.

"I'll improvise." You shrugged, summoning Golden Soul and looking around the stadium again. Jotaro paced back towards you.

"So, you don't have a plan?" Jotaro muttered through clenched teeth.

"I do." You said, not looking at him. "Unfortunately, it's only a rough draft at the moment." Golden Soul pointed towards the press box as it loomed above the field where you stood.

"Give me a break kid." Jotaro briefly hid his face with the brim of his hat "You're not being careful enough with this guy. Stand users are dangerous. They'll try to kill you any chance they get, you've seen it yourself. You need to get your guard up."

"Maybe you need to relax." You turned from the press box to look Jotaro in the eyes. "Being less guarded around you hasn't backfired just yet." Jotaro seemed to contemplate something before going back to looking around the stadium.

"Where's this important trophy you wanted to protect?"

"Oh, it's not here. All awards given to the sports teams are kept in the gym building."

"Wha-" Jotaro paused mid-sentence when a soft buzzing filled his ears.

"I asked you along so Tim can't surprise me like last time." The stadium's microphone system filled with a horrible high-pitched feedback tone. You and Jotaro immediately clamped your hands over your ears. "Told you I had a rough plan." You yelled over the noise.

"Yare yare kid!" Jotaro yelled back. The mic feedback faded away, allowing you and Jotaro to uncover your ears. After reading Tim's diary entries you decided you needed to talk to him. Without some extra muscle from Jotaro that would be a pipe dream. However, not knowing exactly what Tim's stand could do made it impossible to run your scheme by Jotaro over the phone or on the street.

"Sorry I lied." You shook your head, trying to get the ringing out of your brain. "It was hard to tell if he could hear me talking to you over the phone or some other way." Your plan worked though, Tim was in the stadium.

"Y/n!" Tim's voice boomed over the mic system, uncharacteristically confidant. "You were really dumb enough to come here?" You simply looked up at the press box where Golden Soul had located Tim.

"I was smart enough to lure you somewhere away from most of the public." You took a few steps towards the press box, which allowed you a glimpse at Tim through the windows. "I just wanna talk." You showed your hands to Tim in an attempt to indicate civility "You haven't been well lately."

"I feel fine." Tim's voice reverberated through the stadium again. "If anything, I feel exhilarated." He said with a cruel laugh. "You know how being a 'wave maker' spelled your downfall amongst our peers? How I spent so much time trying not to stand out? Well now I can't get enough of making waves!"

"Tim?" The air in the stadium grew staticky, like the aftermath of a lightning storm.

"My stand 'Radio Star' manipulates waves of all kinds, sound waves, electrical waves, telecommunication waves, radio, TV broadcasting, you name it." The score boards on either side of the field lit up.

"Tim! Wait!" The speakers attached to the score boards let off a bass boosted blast that forced you and Jotaro to your knees.

"Kid!" Jotaro yelled, summoning Star Platinum. "You planning to fill me in on your plan?"

"Yeah." You summoned your own stand, using it to protect you from dirt and debris that was being thrown at you. "I need you to buy me the time for it though." The mic system once again let out a horrible feedback noise, but this time the sound waves were much more powerful. "Tim's using his stand to manipulate the sound system. He can't attack us if he doesn't have any technology to jack into!" Jotaro seemed to understand what you were trying to say because his stand picked up some stray rocks from the ground and flicked them at the buzzers on the score boards. You sighed in relief when the sound stopped. Jotaro offered you a hand and a pointed look.

"Next time, tell me before you lead me into a death trap." He said sternly.

"Will do." You groaned as you stood up, your ears ringing. Quickly, you directed your attention back to Tim in the announcer's box. "What was that for Tim? Mad?" You yelled up at the tower so Tim could hear.

"O-of course I'm mad-"

"Mad at who?" You asked. "Me and Mr. Kujo? Or the bullies?"

"S-shut up!" Tim stuttered, his composure starting to crack.

"No."

The mic system started going off again but this time without the speakers on the score boards it was much less intense. Before Radio Star could start messing with the sound system again Jotaro sent a rock flying through the press box window using Star Platinum. Tim stumbled away from the window and out of sight. You started running to the tower, but Jotaro grabbed your arm.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"Just go. I can handle the rest of this." You said hurriedly. Jotaro didn't seem convinced, his grip tightened. "Please!" You begged. "Trust me?" Jotaro stared at you for a good minute, contemplating. He let go of your arm and sighed.

"Be quick or I'm following you."

"Thank you, Mr. Kujo." You smiled. Jotaro just gave a slight nod and reluctantly headed to the exit.

......................

The door to the tower was left ajar, no doubt thanks to Tim. You cautiously ascended the stairs, stopping every few steps to survey what was around you. As your leg passed an electrical socket it began to fizzle and short. Golden Soul managed to grab Radio Star's wires before they could wrap around you. It didn't appear Tim's stand could electrocute something immaterial like a stand. It was a struggle for Golden Soul to wrangle the mess of wires as they slithered around every one of your stand's limbs. The wires found their way to Golden Soul's neck and you were overwhelmed by the feeling of being choked.

"For the love of god Tim!" You gasped as the wires tightened. "Can't you see I don't want to hurt you?" You gagged and heaved as the wires continued to tighten. Just as you were running out of breath the pressure on your neck eased up. You caught your breath and got a glimpse of Radio Star as it retreated back into the electrical socket. The lights in the stairway flickered before going out. A few dim emergency lights were your only illumination. Despite the encounter you decided to keep heading up to the press box.

................

When you opened the door of the broadcasting room, all the lights were turned off along with the equipment. As you slowly looked inside, the emergency lights from the hallway crept in.

"Tim? You in here buddy?" You took a glance around the room. Sitting against the far wall was Tim.

"Go away Y/n...." Tim's heavy breathing slowed down as you stepped closer. The boy wiped his face with his sleeve when he realized you weren't going to listen to him. "Why are you here?"

"Thought you might want the company." You laughed nervously, walking closer to where he was sitting. Tim didn't move away or object as you took a seat next to him on the floor. Neither of you said anything. The silence wasn't awkward though, and Tim was left to think about the events leading up to this moment.

"I don't really know why I-" Tim started to apologize but you stopped him.

"You were angry. People have been hurting you, they stole your work and you didn't think you were able to do anything about it." You spoke softly, "I don't blame you for wanting to stick it to them... and I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner." You turned to face Tim. "But taking your emotions out on others won't help the situation. You'll turn into the kind of person that hurts others." You didn't have the heart to point out that Tim had lately acted almost exactly like Blake.

"Why do you care?" Tim asked defensively. He didn't want to admit you were making a good point. He reflected on how emotional he was, and he realized how irrational it made him.

"I'm your friend Tim." You placed a comforting hand on this shoulder. Tim shrugged you off and stood up, anger boiling up again.

"I don't have friends! You're probably just going to have that Jotaro guy pummel me as soon as I let my guard down!" Tim glared at you, the staticky aura of his stand appearing.

"Jotaro left the stadium." You stayed sitting down, not wanting to make him feel any more distressed. "You and I are the only ones here." You assured him.

"That doesn't change the fact I don't trust you." Tim said coldly.

"Alright." You sighed. Tim watched carefully as you stood up and grabbed something from behind your back. "I'll go, but I have something for you." He was prepared for you to pull out a weapon. Much to his surprise, you pulled out a few folded pieces of notebook paper and held them out for him to take.

Tim stared at the pages oddly. After some mental debate he decided to humor you. When he unfolded the pages, he found his own handwriting and some familiar lyrics.

"Is t-this....?"

"Some pages from your notebook. I couldn't salvage much, but I figured you would want these back." You watched Tim's face turn to one of shock as he examined the papers. Some parts were water damaged, but the writing was fine. You started walking out of the room when Tim stopped you.

"Y/n! I'm.....sorry. I'm so sorry about all of the trouble I've caused." After realizing what you had done for him, Tim felt the need to make amends somehow. You were about to just tell him it was okay and leave, but when a thought occurred to you.

"Tim, you said earlier you don't have any friends. Now that this is all hopefully over... I wouldn't mind getting to know you."

"Yeah, I'd like that." For the first time in a long while, Tim smiled.

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austencollins · 1 year

Text

prev reblog reminded me of this but i heartily did not enjoy the menu. very prettily shot and well-acted, but it drags and isn’t thrilling or suspenseful or smart enough. spoilers below the cut:

normally i enjoy it when i can guess a twist ahead of time because it makes me feel smart -- and the fact that i guessed this twist based on nothing more than 1-3 minutes of screentime makes me impressed with Anya Taylor-Joy & Nicholas Hoult’s acting -- but OOF was it ever obvious that the female lead was gonna turn out to be a sex worker. like it felt so obvious it made me wonder if i’d been spoiled in advance and just forgotten about that. but really, just the fact that she’s dismissive, indifferent & ignorant about the whole foodie thing while nicholas hoult’s character is so into food that he’s taking them on this big special restaurant trip is a big tip-off that they’re not really dating or even familiar with one another.

it also made their conversations & interactions so boring. the characters can’t say anything interesting about themselves because it will spoil the reveal that he hired an escort -- but they also can’t say anything interesting about anything to one another, because the script is too busy going “see??? he’s ridiculous & she’s just tolerating this. foreshadowing!!” the reveal that he’d brought her there knowing she would die would have hit so much harder if she’d been some rando min-wage worker that hoult’s character met while he was trying out different foodie spots, who impulsively agreed to go on the restaurant tour with him because hey, cool food & he’s probably not that dangerous, what’s the worst that could happen?

but if they’d wanted to keep the sex worker angle, i think it would have worked better if they’d cast older actors in those roles. like 40+ maybe -- really lean into the heroine feeling world-weary and jaded like the head chef guy, so their interactions would also have been richer & less paint-by-numbers we’re-the-same villain monologue. also, despite ralph fiennes being a good actor & very convincing as an asshole superstar chef who can bully people into suicide & is murder-happy... I didn’t buy that he was charismatic enough to convince a whole restaurant of people to kill themselves!!! like damn they should have had him die after that one lady did her Me Too bit, and used that to demonstrate that the murder cult vibes persist even if the “genius” at the center of it all doesn’t. letting the restaurant staff give the heroine their sales pitch woulda been more interesting.

also they needed to kill more people before the finale -- and just generally be a lot weirder and grosser. the food stuff was not interesting or weird enough or delicious looking enough. they coulda found better concepts by rifling through scrapped ideas for Hannibal episodes. the smores bit at the end almost got there, but... well... it was like if the ending to Midsommar had whiffed. plus all these characters acting like they meant to go to Olive Garden and accidentally wound up trapped on Weird Conceptual Restaurant Island, and I’m just like “killjoys! eating one single course of one single meal off of salty ocean rocks seems like it would be fun." plus that’s only one flavor of pretentious foodie culture, so the head chef’s whole whine about how he just wants to cook burgers for people who appreciate a good burger is like... bruh this is a very achievable goal. you are already half way to cooking unfussy-yet-tasty food for the mases with your tacos. stop living on a private island and go operate a food truck downtown.

but maybe i’m just bitter about the flop food concepts because i thought whatever they were gonna do with the dead swan would have been more visually interesting and off-putting than just slapping wings on a man in the distance and drowning him. like yes that’s a very bad death and i don’t need to care about someone in order to be appalled by their murder... but in a horror movie, where your audience comes in prepared for character death? put more effort into making me shocked and appalled when people die. none of the rich & doomed characters were despicable or interesting enough for me to care about them. eventually i started feeling bad for the actor’s assistant (and because of her, the actor) and the rich lady with the dead daughter, just to care about something; but by the time i felt anything about those characters, the movie was 2/3rds of the way through & still framed their deaths as a triumph over ignorant, greedy corrupt philistines. i don’t mind this kind of ending in general, but it felt sour & unearned here.

plus the journey there took too long!! like yeah imo there was a lot of wasted potential, but the biggest problem is just that it dragged on and on and on.

#movies #reviews

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drarrily-we-row-along · 3 years

Text

Day 136: Long Drive

Sorry friends. The second half of my week last week was really difficult and I went away for the weekend to recharge. Without further ado, here's the next ficlet. Thanks for your patience <3

---------

Harry loved the States for a lot of reasons; it was way easier to disappear here than in England; even if people knew his name, they were way less likely to recognize his face; you could basically pick any climate that you wanted and find a place that suited you; and lots of other weird things.

But mostly he loved road trips.

He loved the entire concept behind getting in a car and just driving. The road unfurling endlessly in front of him, windows down, radio turned up and blaring whatever struck his fancy. With Max in the car beside him, wagging his tail and sticking his head out of the window, Harry felt practically weightless.

"Alright, buddy," he told the pittie when he pulled over to grab some breakfast at a little diner, "You hang out in the back, yeah?" he asked, scratching behind his ears and pressing a kiss to the broad bridge of his nose. "Go on," he said, nudging him toward the back that Harry had magically enlarged and turned into a comfortable living space.

Muggles had campers and rvs but with a little bit of magic, the beaten up Subaru served him just fine.

He got out and hit the lock button, listening to the satisfying little beep as he headed toward the diner, catching up his curls and tying them into a loose messy bun on top of his head.

The diner was cute, all red and white checkered decorations and a counter with spinny stools. Harry sat down at one and grabbed a menu, perusing and trying to decide what to order when he heard the crash of something being dropped to the ground and breaking.

His head snapped up and he blinked, wondering if it had been too long since he'd gone to sleep because he had to be hallucinating. "Malfoy?" he spluttered.

(Read more below the cut)

But before the other man could respond there was a shout from the kitchen in the back, "Damn it! You clumsy, stupid ass!" the man shouted and Harry felt himself recoiling from the anger in his voice. "You'll be paying for that!"

"Yes, sir!" Malfoy shouted back, bending over and hastily sweeping up the pieces.

"Well don't mess around with that now!" he shouted. "You've got a customer, you worthless piece of-" his voice trailed off as he slammed a door in the back but Harry could fill in the rest.

"Malfoy?" he repeated as the man in question stepped over to him. "How on earth did you find me?" he asked.

"You found me, Potter," he snapped. "Not the other way around. Now what can I get you?"

"You actually work here?" Harry asked in befuddlement.

Malfoy gritted his teeth, "Obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't be wearing this stupid apron and I wouldn't be getting screamed at by the arsehole that owns this place. What can I get you?" he repeated.

"Umm," he said, glancing down at the menu, "I will definitely have a cup of coffee. And then maybe the first special on your board with scrambled eggs, bacon, and rye toast," he said. "And also grape jelly, if you have it."

"Got it," Malfoy replied, scribbling on the ticket. "Coming right up."

He spun on his heel and strutted off before Harry could say anything more and Harry just stared after him, wondering if he was dreaming.

Malfoy was back a few minutes later with a mug and a coffee pot, filling Harry's cup and sliding it over to him.

"Thanks," Harry said, reaching for the sugar. "What are you-"

"Look," Malfoy hissed, leaning over and keeping his voice low, "Please do not blow this for me. I know that you have no reason to help me but I really need this job, Potter."

Harry blinked and by the time he'd unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth, Malfoy was gone again.

It wasn't long before the other man emerged once more, carrying Harry's plate of breakfast. "Here you go," he said as he set it down and slid a couple of grape jelly packets toward him. "Enjoy. Do you need a warm up on your coffee?"

"Uhh," Harry replied, glancing at his half full cup, "Sure."

Malfoy nodded and grabbed the pot to refill his cup.

"When do you get off work?" Harry found himself asking.

The other man's brow furrowed, "Why?"

He shrugged as he slathered jelly onto his toast, "Thought it might be nice to catch up."

"To catch up?" Malfoy repeated. "Is that code for-"

"Hear about your life," Harry supplied.

Malfoy's eyes narrowed, "Fine. I get off at 10:00. If you pretend that you are just a customer passing through I'll give you fifteen minutes."

"Done," Harry replied easily. "So what touristy shite is there to do in this town until 10:00 am?"

-----------------

After he finished breakfast, Harry ended up just taking Max for a walk and then to the dog park to chase a ball around him. He'd worked hard to train him the first few months after he'd found him abandoned, tied up to a dumpster and all but starving. And Max had learned quickly, mastering basic commands in no time which was for the best, since people took one look at him and decided he was scary.

He wasn't, he was a sweet boy who loved people and who loved to play but it didn't seem to make any difference. Still, once he was trained, Harry had started taking him to the park and he wouldn't let other people bully them out.

Around 9:30, they headed back to the diner and Harry settled Max into the back, making sure his water bowl was full before he climbed back out of the car and leaned against the hood, waiting.

Malfoy emerged a few minuted after 10:00, looking a bit disheveled in his black t-shirt and skinny jeans, and immediately lit up a cigarette before looking around and spotting Harry. His eyebrows rose like he was surprised to see him before he squared his shoulders and made his way toward him.

"Hey," Harry said, straightening up as Malfoy approached him.

Malfoy blew a stream of smoke out of his mouth, "Hey?" he asked. "Is that really what you have to say to me?" He shook his head, "Just get it over with Potter," he said. "If you want to gloat just fucking gloat so I can move on and go get my groceries."

"I don't want to gloat," Harry protested.

"What do you want, then?" he asked scathingly.

And that was the question, wasn't it? What did Harry want? "Why are you working here?" he asked.

Malfoy rolled his eyes as he exhaled another puff of smoke, "It's amazing where you end up when you're a convicted death eater whose wand is monitored," he replied. "Then add to that the fact that it didn't seem to matter where I got myself set up in muggle London, someone found me and within hours I'd lose whatever job I'd been working. So here I am, just trying to get by and who should appear but the savior himself," he said with a little mock bow. "I should just put my two weeks in here now, at least-"

"I'm not going to tell anyone you're here," Harry said quickly.

"Right," he huffed sarcastically.

"I'm not," he argued, "Because if I told them where you are, they'd know where I've been."

"You're running away too?" Malfoy asked, cigarette dangling loosely from his fingers as he stared at Harry in surprise.

"Obviously," Harry replied. "Come on," he said after a moment. "Your feet must be killing you. I'm sure that arsehole doesn't give you breaks," he added as he opened the hatch.

"You want me to climb into the trunk of your car?"

He rolled his eyes, "I know you think I'm an idiot," he said, "But I'm less of one than you think. Just," he crawled in and stood up, "come on."

After a moment Malofy followed him through but before anything else could happen Max bounded over and all but climbed onto Malfoy's lap.

"Max-" he started to scold before Malfoy started talking over him.

"Oh, hello you sweet baby," he said, pulling Max further onto his lap so he could pet him better and scratch his neck. They looked ridiculous, Max was almost as big as Malfoy, but there he sat anyway, "hello. Aren't you a lovie?" he asked. "Yes you are. You're a giant lovie," he said.

And in that moment, Harry's mind was made up. "Have you ever gone on a road trip?" he asked.

Malfoy looked up at him and Max licked a stripe up his cheek. He laughed and stroked his side, "What?" he asked.

"Have you ever gone on a road trip?" Harry repeated.

"What is that?"

"Like a really long drive," he said. "Where you just get in your car and drive and stop for food when you want to and sleep when you want to." He scratched the back of his neck, "Max and I are headed to California to see the giant redwoods."

"That sounds nice for the two of you," Malfoy replied, steadily patting Max.

"Come with us," Harry said.

The other man blinked. "Sorry?"

"Just," he shrugged, "What else do you have here?"

"A job-"

"That you hate."

"A flat-"

"That is probably smaller than this," he said gesturing to the space they were sitting in.

"What happens when you get sick of me?"

He shook his head, "Come on. Just come with us. If I kick you out I'll give you $5000. That should be enough to help you settle wherever you want, right?"

"Why?"

He stared at him for a moment. There were a thousand reasons that flitted through Harry's mind, a thousand things that he could say, but none of them made any sense. Not yet at least. "Why not?" he settled on.

Malfoy took a slow inhale and then nodded once. "Fine, but you're going to need to make a second bed and we have to stop for my stuff."

"Done," Harry replied, grinning and feeling the familiar feeling of freedom that he felt when he was gliding down the open road unfurling in his chest.

Finally, he was going on an adventure worth having.

------------------

Day 135: Off-Guard | Day 137: Symmetry

#100 drarry drabbles in 100 days #sorry I've been awol for a few days #drarry #drarry drabbles #road trips #down and out draco #running away #freedom

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lepusrufus · 3 years

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Double edged scalpel ch. 7

Ch.1 ch.2 ch.3 ch.4 ch.5 ch.6

Summary: in which Cassandra gets bullied and other sappy shenanigans

---

"Oh Nicole dear, so happy to see you again!" Duke's voice was cheerful as ever, tone masterfully crafted over years of being a businessman.

Nicole, taking small steps inside the ornate and now full of items room, greeted him with uncharacteristic giddiness.

"Duke! How's business?"

"Same as always, I'll be heading to Beneviento later tonight to deliver some tools for her," he took a long drag of his cigar and, noticing green eyes scanning over multiple items and said, "I also have your order."

With a childish grin on her face, she approached him, hands shuffling inside the small bag attached to her belt that all staff members had. She pulled out the money owed for her package and, in return, the Duke placed a decently sized box in her arms. With an oof she shifted it in a less precarious position, it's heavy contents seeming to plot against her small frame.

"Unfortunately I can't stay, duty calls. But thank you Duke."

"No worries, I do understand that your employers can be quite," he took another drag of his cigar, looking for the right word. "...demanding"

Nicole chuckled. That was one way to put it.

"Well until next time dear. Or if you find yourself in need of something else, I'll be here until six."

---

She was only wearing a long white towel when she heard a knock on the door. Assuming it was another maid, or even Anita inquiring about whether or not she'd be joining the rest of them for dinner, she opened the door just a crack.

It was a surprise to see none other than Cassandra standing there, her elegant frame in odd contrast with the modest corridor. She flung the door open, letting the brunette inside and took a quick glance down the hall, making sure no maid was on the floor after fainting due to fright.

"What are you doing here?"

"Aw, are you not happy to see me?" She was pouting, but her tone was joking.

Nicole rolled her eyes, but the small smile on her lips betrayed that she was indeed happy to see her. Cassandra only laughed instead, a beautiful melodious laugh, so unlike the dark cackles heard by prisoners down in the dungeons.

"Just sit down, I need to get dressed," Nicole pointed to the bed before moving to the small dresser and pulling out a clean uniform.

Cassandra went to sit on the slightly disheveled bed, eyes following the redhead's form as she let the towel drop to her feet and started to put on the various layers of her uniform. Then golden eyes darted to the box sitting on the bed. The tape sealing it had been cut not long after Nicole brought it back to her room to make sure all its contents made it safely. Not that she didn't trust the Duke, but postal service was postal service.

"What's this?" Cassandra inquired, trying to read the label but having no success as it had been scribbled over with a marker.

Nicole stilled for a moment, hands frozen on her white button up. She cleared her throat and shyly admitted:

"Actually that's for you. Do open it if you want."

Cassandra's eyes widened, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks. The gesture had really caught her off guard. She gingerly lifted the lid, inspecting it's contents for a moment and then hummed.

"And here I was thinking you like my hair. With how much you love to pull on it and all that."

Nicole, now fully clothed and sporting a deep blush, marched to her and plucked the two boxes of red hair dye from gloved hands. She placed them on her nightstand and, with her voice just slightly more high pitched, she turned to the brunette.

"Those are mine, I meant the rest of it." And, after a chuckle, "I mean have you seen my roots? They're horrible!"

Cassandra only gave her a deadpan look and, after a long moment, said: "I think your hair is beautiful."

She didn't wait for a reply, not that it would be anything more than a stammered mumble of course. Instead she chuckled and returned her attention to the box. She examined the rest of its contents and then gingerly lifted one of the few tomes inside. The cover was glossy and malleable, it's pages shiny and with a distinct typography smell to it. It was so unlike her other books, it's pristine white state making it feel extremely out of place in the castle. She glanced at Nicole inquisitively.

"I do appreciate the gift, don't misunderstand me, but surely you know there's a small bookshop's worth of medical books in this castle."

"With all due respect, from what I've seen most of them are at least somewhat outdated. Interesting, yes, but I thought you'd like to learn something more...modern." Then she pulled out another book. "This is the same one I used while studying forensic pathology. It would make teaching you some things easier. Uh… assuming you want that."

Nicole averted her gaze, suddenly unsure of the usefulness of her gift. Cassandra however grabbed her chin between two fingers and pulled her gaze back on her. She smiled, finding the shy demeanor beyond endearing.

"I'd love that."

A small smile appeared on thin lips and Nicole leaned in to kiss Cassandra. It was soft and short, but no less intimate than the deep kisses they shared so many times in Cassandra's bed.

They had to go anyway.

---

Let's go to the library, Cassandra said. It'll be empty, she said.

When Cassandra swung open the intricate door, only to find the other two sisters lounging on one of the couches, it's not like they could do a one eighty and leave the room. That would've been both impolite and highly suspicious.

Instead, Cassandra grabbed her arm protectively and led them to the reading spot farthest from the other two. They placed one of the textbooks on the small desk and Cassandra took out a notebook. This would've been a lot more fruitful with an actual body on hand, but there were still a couple days until the human flesh supply had to be replenished and Cassandra was beyond eager to start on some things. So, for now, they had to settle for theory alone.

It took all of five minutes for the other two sisters to make their way to their desk. Daniela had a giddy yet curious expression on her face, while Bela seemed as unreadable as ever, if not for a glint in her eyes that betrayed her interest.

"Whatcha dooooing?" Came Daniela's voice, who cocked her head not unlike a curious puppy would while looking at the book's contents.

"Working," Cassandra replied, a slight growl accompanying her words.

"Could've fooled me," Bela spoke from behind the youngest sister, eyeing the hand protectively placed on Nicole's waist.

Cassandra snapped her eyes at the blonde, looking ready to throw her notebook at her head but Bela ignored her sister's ire and addressed Nicole instead.

"What are you studying?"

"I uh- just some basic anatomy concepts. Thought it would be a good idea to start with the things that the older books in the castle don't cover."

Bela only hummed, grabbed an ornate chair nearby, and plopped herself at the desk, opposite from the pair. Daniela mimicked her sister, but instead chose to sit down right by Nicole on the small couch. It took more willpower than she would admit not to glue herself to Cassandra's side when Daniela's face came uncomfortably close so she could look over the book's diagrams. She stood still as a statue though. After a couple seconds of silence and Nicole trying to figure out what she was supposed to do, Daniela drew her head back, looking at her with what was possibly the most serious expression she had seen on the youngest sister.

"You do realize we're not going to hurt you right? How could we lay a finger on our dear sister's lover hmm?"

Nicole's breath caught in her throat. She wasn't sure if it was due to the word used to describe her or how Daniela apparently knew that she was utterly terrified of her. Cassandra sighed beside her and, seeming to at least partially read Nicole's thoughts, clarified:

"Your heartbeat."

Oh. Yeah. Yeah her heart was beating a million miles an hour. And apparently the other three vampiric occupants of the room were able to hear it loud and clear. It did very little to ease her mind.

"Please do calm down, it feels like someone is having drumming lessons. Bad ones," Bela complained, head resting in one of her hands like she was already bored.

"Then shove a sock in your ears," Cassandra snapped.

Bela simply leaned back in her seat and stretched her arms above her head. "And risk not hearing my beloved sisters sing along to some pop song?"

Cassandra shut her mouth, a blush now slowly spreading across her cheeks while Daniela burst out into laughter. Even Nicole couldn't help betraying the brunette and letting out a giggle.

"I didn't know you could sing."

"I can't."

"Au contraire dear Cassie! Should I remind you of the last time Dragostea din tei came on the radio? The pathos!" Daniela reached over Nicole's lap to lightly shake her sister's knee through her giggles.

Cassandra only let out a long groan, face now hidden in her palms. "I hate you both."

"Mhm, we love you too," came Bela's reply, accompanied by a chuckle.

Nicole couldn't keep a small laugh while she snaked her arm behind the brunette to show some form of support against the merciless assailants. Maybe not a complete betrayal.

The scene really had something deep within her heart aching beautifully. It reminded her of the countless times she and Alex would mercilessly tease each other, but still have each other's backs through thick and thin. And for this familiarity to come from people that any sane person would consider bloodthirsty monsters? Hell, maybe they should start considering her a monster too, for the only word she could use to describe them in that moment was endearing.

"So," Bela lightly clapped her gloved hands. "Now that your pulse isn't giving me a headache anymore, what are we doing?"

She had a confident smirk on her face, but her eyes betrayed curiosity. Same for Daniela and, although mixed with a hint of annoyance, Cassandra. She opened the book in front of her, one of general human anatomy, and decided that the digestive system would be a good enough starting point.

---

Their little impromptu lesson didn't last more than two hours. Two hours that proved to Nicole just how oddly human all three sisters can be. Of course she had gotten familiar with Cassandra, intimately so, but the other two still felt like two looming monsters hiding in the shadows. At least up until now.

Bela seemed oddly intrigued by Nicole's explanation, although unlike Cassandra, she seemed to view it more like a story than anything. Daniela seemed slightly more interested, asking questions here and there and even starting to giggle like a middle schooler when they got to the rectum section. That got an eye roll from the other two. Nicole just laughed, finally understanding Mrs Hawkins, her private biology teacher from before she was allowed to step foot in any public school.

After they were done, Bela simply stood up and bid them good night. Danila instead excitedly proposed the skeletal system for next time and picked up the books she abandoned earlier. Then, with a small tower of tomes she went through a door tucked at the very back of the room. Her study, Cassandra had pointed out as they made their way out of the library.

"I didn't know your sisters were interested in medicine too." Nicole kept her voice low, almost as if talking too loudly would disturb the shadowy hallways.

"More or less. Daniela likes it and has a bit of hands-on practice but she has her nose in romance novels more often than not. Bela finds it interesting but botany is what she really loves. That and classic lit." She added the last part with a grimace and Nicole had to wonder which author had offended her personally.

Before she could continue that train of thought though, her gaze moved to the windows, the cloudless sky beyond thick glass panels full of twinkling stars. Her mind kept going back to a few hours earlier and at what Daniela had said. Lover. Did Cassandra truly see her as one or was the youngest sister just being her over the top self. Did she see Cassandra this way? Nicole had not allowed herself to dwell on that up until now, the idea that the brunette saw her as more than an over glorified lab partner with whom she occasionally scratched an itch seemed almost laughable. But the small gestures of affection shown in ways Cassandra seemed to know best were undeniably there. And the familiar flutter in her chest at each of said gestures was also undeniably there.

"What's wrong?"

Cassandra's voice, accompanied by the slight echo through the empty hallway, snapped Nicole out of her thoughts.

"Oh um- nothing." She sounded as convincing as someone trying to sell you a fork while showing you a spoon.

And Cassandra didn't seem to buy it. She moved in front of the redhead, walking backwards with no concern over possible furniture to collide into along the way.

"You always get this… face when something's bothering you."

"I do not-" the indignation in her tone was weak, little more than an attempt to change the subject.

"Mhmm you do. You normally look focused. Kind of like, if someone tried to scare you by throwing an eyeball at you, you'd laugh." She would. "Now? Now you look like a rabbit that has no time to run and is just laying low hoping whatever's hunting it passes by."

Nicole shut up for a moment, only looking at the brunette in front of her incredulously. Maybe she was far more attentive than she gave her credit for.

"Uh. Just thinking." At a raised dark eyebrow, the no shit went unsaid, so Nicole tried to elaborate. "About earlier. When we were with your sisters and Daniela uh- Daniela called me your lover."

Saying that the words felt awkward on her tongue was close to the year's biggest understatement. It felt like pulling out teeth would be an easier task. Nicole had never been good with her words, having learned since childhood to keep her mouth shut. But the fact that Cassandra seemed to share her struggle brought some semblance of comfort.

"And?" As if they were talking about the weather.

"And… was she right in describing me as such?"

She couldn't help a small gulp when the brunette stopped walking, looking at her with a frown. Any sane person would be at the very least somewhat afraid in this situation. Sanity however was scarce these days as Nicole was afraid, though not of the bodily harm that may come from her inquiry, but rather of Cassandra's answer.

"Nicole, your tongue has been in my mouth." Amongst many other places.

The redhead's cheeks turned a slight shade of crimson and she mumbled for an answer. She wasn't sure how to tell her that sleeping together did not automatically make them lovers. But then again, Cassandra's thoughts remained a mystery more than anything.

Thankfully the brunette took the metaphorical reins of the conversation and stepped forward. She wrapped her hands around Nicole's arms, gentler than one would imagine possible from her, and bent down to whisper no more than an inch away from her ear.

"I'll have you know, I'm not particularly fond of letting anyone I don't deem important touch me. Especially not the way you do."

The words made something flutter in Nicole's chest, an unfamiliar and comforting warmth. Said warmth got chipped away at the slightest bit when Cassandra pulled back to look her in the eyes.

"Should I take it that it's not mutual then?" Cassandra's tone was nonchalant, almost as if she didn't truly care about the answer. She could keep doing whatever she wanted either way, afterall who was going to stop her? But to someone who got familiar with all her small quirks and habits, the waver in her voice was more than clear.

"No." The world slipped from her lips with no hesitation.

No hesitation, because the more she thought about it, and she didn't need to think a lot mind you, the more Nicole realized that she couldn't remember a time when she felt the way she did here. Sure the initial threat of death looming over her head was anything but pleasant, but once that melted into affection and nights spent in Cassandra's arms the thought of leaving didn't as much as graze her mind.

"No, no. It is," she repeated, more certainty making its way into her tone.

At that Cassandra smiled. A small, almost shy one would say if they knew her well enough, smile. Her shoulders seemed to lose some of their tension when she leaned down again, her lips stopping not even an inch away. Nicole wasted no time leaning forward, their mouths meeting in a kiss that mixed softness and need beautifully. Their lips slid against each other until, surprisingly, it was Cassandra to pull back and sigh.

"Come sleep, we have some cutting up to do in the morning."

Nicole frowned. "Tomorrow? Wasn't that supposed to be due in a few days?"

A devilish grin appeared on black lips, fangs shimmering ominously in the low light. "Bela caught a foolish man-thing sneaking around the forest on the castle grounds. She's really excited to turn this one into a nice steak."

The redhead only let out an oh in acknowledgement. Foolish indeed. At least they could finally put into practice a few autopsy tricks Nicole had been itching to show her.

She let herself be guided back to Cassandra's chambers and into her bed, that she had grown intimately familiar with. The last thing she felt before falling asleep was the brunette's cool skin, pressed against her own. A welcomed comfort among the myriad of soft pillows that surrounded them. Nicole wondered briefly if being undead meant it was hard to keep yourself warm, but the thought quickly slipped away as she fell into a dreamless sleep.

#cassandra dimitrescu x maiden #unhinged maiden™ my beloved #bela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #double edged scalpel #fanfic #the dimitrescu daughters

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