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ladyluscinia · 7 months

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Izzy Hands Is Manipulative, But Not That Way

...or I finally finish that long ass meta post about why I love the fucking Navy Plot lol

The Izzy manipulation debate has been really interesting to me pretty much since it started, because I'd see a post arguing he's manipulating Edward and go "No, and he couldn't if he tried" and then the next post would say he sucks at manipulation because he's a blunt fucking instrument and I'd go "Yea- wait. Hmm. No, he can be targeted and tricky as fuck." Which does, on its surface, seem like a contradictory stance, but I swear it works.

Because the thing with Izzy - and this is such a fun thing imo - is there are two core types of manipulation that characters engage in, and Izzy fucking sucks at the one you expect his style of antagonist to focus on. But he's scarily good at the other.

Long meta under the cut, so get comfy.

...

From his role under Edward to the protagonist vs antagonist dynamic setup to his introduction scenes, Izzy is very much invoking the conniving second in command. We know this character from other media. He doesn't have the full power he wants so he's constantly scheming to get it. He can't or won't challenge his boss for some reason, so he settles for being the devil on their shoulder or working behind their back. He's the voice constantly ready to inflame insecurities and turn relationship cracks into chasms, and usually he's lying constantly to do so. His fingerprints are all over his boss's problems up to the moment they show some weakness, and then their loyal second goes right for the backstab. He is THE ambitious manipulator. The shady advisor. The snake.

And then you actually look at Izzy and he is not that guy. In fact, it's a testament to the strength of Edward's character arc how much his evil little henchman is not causing his problems.

So - Izzy and manipulation:

Izzy Can't Convince People To Do Things

Like. He really can't.

This interpersonal struggle is fairly fundamental to his character. And moreover, it's a skill that Izzy is intensely aware that he lacks, so usually he doesn't even try.

In his first episode he walks right up to Buttons and just straight up asks him for the information on his party. He doesn't even resolve to steal the hostages until he realizes that Stede has lost them in the bush already, and Izzy obtains them by buying them. When Stede confronts him they end up splitting the pair in a very above-board negotiation and he pretty much just goes with what Stede suggests.

Then in 1x03, people make a big deal of Izzy "manipulating" Edward by not clarifying that Stede didn't know who he was when he turned down the invite, but kind of importantly he repeats the damning line of the conversation faithfully. If he was going to lie, then why not lie? Why even go see Stede at all? And, if he didn't want Stede dead until after the conversation (understandable, tbh, since "Iggy" was stab-worthy), surely he could invent a better insult to rile Edward up. It makes his omission hit more like being bitchy about Stede not recognizing the obvious - namely that Izzy Hands works for Blackbeard and literally everyone knows this - than a slander campaign to get him killed. And once we properly meet Izzy and Edward in 1x04, Izzy's inability to manipulate becomes his main struggle.

Izzy's a blunt and direct person. He leans on authority bestowed by Blackbeard to take control of situations, playing the role he's supposed to play, and without it he lacks a Plan B. In 1x04 he doesn't have any authority over Edward, so his efforts to get him to take the danger of the Spanish seriously amount to "Well as bored as you might be, if you don't make a decision soon we're gonna fucking die." And this is true! There might be a very subconscious attempt at manipulation in his resignation speech before the "That's Blackbeard. I'm Stede, remember?" line - of the piss him off to get him to get his shit together variety - but Edward literally makes a joke out of it so not exactly effective.

And once Edward stops giving Izzy authority in general, his plan to make Lucius do stuff is still just... brute force. Which works at first when Lucius doesn't realize that Izzy's on his own now, and stops working as soon as Fang breaks ranks. His last ditch blackmail attempt isn't manipulative either - he just plans to tell the truth to Pete and assumes he'll be pissed about it. My guy loses a fight over the pirate equivalent of making an uppity employee clean the coffee maker while the boss is out. Not only does he fail to manipulate the crew in a conniving antagonist way... he doesn't even try.

I mean, the only time he (somewhat) succeeds in talking someone into things is 1x06. Getting Edward to agree to killing Stede isn't really manipulation - Izzy gets Fang and Ivan to back him in a very straightforward way because they all actually do have a stake in this - but he's passably able to push Stede to go through with the fuckery via fake compliments. It's not exactly high level work, though. Stede being vulnerable to ego-stroking / dares is pretty obvious.

So what is Izzy good at?

Well, if you can't make people do anything other than what they were going to do in the first place, you might as well lean into that.

...

Izzy Manipulates Situations, Not People

Situational manipulation is one of those fictional tropes that rarely can happen in real life, but there's not much resemblance because real life rarely gives you all the building blocks for a proper gambit and lets you loose. Too many factors. In narratives, though? It becomes one of my favorite ways of having a character be clever.

And before I get into this too much, a really fun sidenote - I think Izzy does situational manipulation more like the way protagonists do it. See, antagonists are usually emotionally and situationally manipulative (ex: provoking the hero to lash out and using it to frame them for a bigger crime), but it's not a good look when your hero drives the target to do something bad and then punishes them for it. So heroes lean on stuff like Batman Gambits - where the lynchpin of the scheme is the target fucking themselves over by behaving completely in character. They've written Izzy so ineffective at emotional manipulation that he pretty much has to rely on other characters' flaws or histories to cause problems, which has a very similar result. And it's wild.

...

Going back to the 1x03 confrontation in Jackie's bar, Izzy doesn't really do anything abnormal in how he conducts himself, but people are picking up on an agenda for a reason. Namely, the whole damn conversation quickly turns into a trap, and Izzy fully sits back and watches Stede spring it from sheer idiocy.

There's no indication that when Izzy walked up he wasn't going to carry out his task with all the bitchy professionalism expected of him, while probably hoping that Stede would eventually stick his foot in his mouth without Izzy's help (assuming he's the kind of idiot Izzy thinks he is). His first section of this conversation is nearly polite:

Izzy (about the Nose Jar): "I have a few colleagues in there." Stede: "Ugh. You again." Geraldo: "Mr. Hands, welcome. It's been a while." Izzy: "(To Geraldo) Yeah, because I hate this fucking place. (To Stede) But for some inexplicable reason, my boss would like a word with you. Bonnet."

It's not until Stede starts talking that I think Izzy clues in that Stede doesn't actually know who his boss is. He didn't introduce himself until the literal last second of their 1x02 interaction, so it wasn't obvious Stede wasn't literally bolting into the forest in horrified realization.

And Stede? He goes hard on being a bitch right out the gate. Brushes Izzy off, tells him to "get in line", calls him the wrong name, says he doesn't care who Izzy is...

Izzy so far has met Stede in a public place, in front of people who clearly treat Izzy with respect and fear. He doesn't bring up their previous interaction, Stede does. He doesn't even goad Stede beyond existing. He corrects him on his name, and watches it not register in the slightest. The next line is the clincher:

Izzy (slightly incredulous): "So I'll tell my Captain that you're declining then, yeah?"

As Izzy is speaking the conversation becomes a trap - he chooses a reasonable way to refer to Edward that isn't "Blackbeard" and waits to see if Stede will make this worse. The jump from "no I'm busy" to "tell him he has terrible taste in flunkies and he can go suck eggs in Hell" is all Stede, completely ignoring context clues as Geraldo stares on in horror. Hell, Jackie only refrains from later de-nosing Stede on the spot because Geraldo knows what's up, and Stede still doesn't pick up on the fact he should maybe be asking some questions (though I'll give him the knife was distracting).

Izzy returns to the ship, quotes Stede directly for his damning line, and waits to see what Edward will do with it. It's not good behavior on his part (and if he could have seen the future he might have tried worse), but switching mid-conversation to offering Stede an opportunity to fuck himself over is a very different mindset than simply lying to / provoking Stede or Edward to get what he wants. He's mostly being petty.

Stede did insult Edward of his own volition, after all, and just because Izzy fudges the truth to hide he didn't know he was insulting Blackbeard instead of just Izzy and a random stranger doesn't change that. All Izzy did to "escalate" that conversation was give Stede a second opening to do so himself.

But there is a far better example of Izzy masterfully manipulating a situation than this in-the-moment bit of pettiness, so let's move onto my favorite bit... explaining in extensive and slightly awestruck detail why the Navy plot. Fucking. Rules. Because it does. Ready?

...

How to Mastermind the Decisive Removal of One Stupid Fucking Stede Bonnet Over Drinks

Ahem. The Navy plot. Masterclass in intimate betrayal. Izzy's biggest escalation in the total collapse of Edward and Izzy's relationship, but also a completely fucking fascinating glimpse into whatever tangled web of codependency they've got going on, because Edward isn't even mad after 1x09. This wordcount is going to be insane enough without me getting into the Blackhands relationship connotations, so I will... attempt... to stick to breaking down the actual scheme.

And what a scheme it was.

Let's start at the beginning. Jack showing up to lure them into the trap at the start of 1x08? Nope, earlier. Izzy getting kicked off the ship and going to Jackie at the end of 1x06? Further back. Edward proposing the "kill Stede" plan at the end of 1x04, which is the domino that starts all this, right? Closer, but still no.

Izzy's first appearance on screen is in episode 1x02, and that episode is where the seeds of the Navy plot are first planted. See, during Stede's confrontation with Izzy, both of the hostages chime in:

Hostage 1 (Wellington): "Believe him, he's quite insane." Hostage 2 (Hornberry): "He does have the eyes of a madman. Sorry, you do."

Wellington says his line in a tone of voice that clearly indicates a story to tell, and it should also be noted that he is the same one who earlier jumped at the chance to tell the tribe chief about Stede murdering their captain - Nigel. And he's the one that Izzy leaves with, in a sour mood and wanting information about this "Stede Bonnet" character.

When Izzy later reaches out to the Navy, it's no coincidence that he finds Chauncey. He's known since right after their first meeting that Stede was directly responsible for the murder of an Admiral's brother and that the English Navy would know soon enough, since he was literally about to ransom a hostage back to them who would tell the story. And he filed that information away until it was useful or relevant like a clever pirate should.

Moving on to Jackie's bar in 1x03, Izzy gets more potentially useful observations / inspiration. Jackie is actually the first person in the series to make a deal with a naval power. Izzy and crew track the Revenge to the Spanish warship, which means they must see Geraldo sold out Stede to them. Izzy isn't stupid. He knows Geraldo and Spanish Jackie, knows that she's the brains and brawn behind this deal, and has seen enough of Stede that he'd absolutely believe that he did something to get Jackie pissed enough to plot his murder. File away Jackie wants Stede dead and details of how she nearly succeeded in offing him for later.

Izzy spends 1x05 up to the fuckery demonstration observing Stede's crew while waiting for Edward to pull the trigger. I definitely want to note the scene where they interrogate the Frenchman at the beginning of 1x05, because Izzy is staring directly at Stede as he leans away from Edward threatening violence (we know this will later be in his love montage so not actually a turn off, lol, but like... it looked like one). His opinion of the crew is that they like to fuck around without structure (1x05 during the party), probably that they enjoy more standard pirate levels of violence (not shown directly since they are kept out of the 1x05 raid, but fairly obvious), and that they are really easily awestruck by the chance to hear "real pirates" tell charismatic stories (1x06 ghost story).

Any of that sounding like someone we know?

And now to go back to Izzy in 1x06, when he gets sick of Edward being cagey about the plan to kill Stede and decides to "make" him stop stalling, he's straightforward again. Getting Ivan and Fang to back him isn't emotionally manipulative, but it does give him weight in the conversation. They are the ones who bring up the whole "love of a pet makes a man weak" thing, and they do it in the context of calling out hypocrisy. Izzy knows the standards Edward holds his crew to. He lets them convince Edward it's time.

Taking the chance to suggest Stede try a fuckery is a strong blend of situational and emotional manipulation, and later challenging him to a formal duel knowing he'd be overconfident enough to accept is more situational again. Even the terms of the duel are designed to take advantage of the situation. And then Izzy loses in the most comedy way possible, Edward lets him get banished, and Izzy decides that if he was ok with just sending Stede Bonnet on his way to fuck-off before... he's fucking gonna kill him now.

My guy is not a creative thinker, but he's definitely a logistical one. And as he rows away from that ship, all the pieces fall into place.

First, Spanish Jackie. Who listens to him bemoan his relationship woes because she likes him (Izzy gets Jackie in the divorce). Who wants Stede dead and has the clout to summon and deal with a distasteful ally - Chauncey. Together, they concoct an arrangement where a trap will be set and Chauncey gets Stede and only Stede. This isn't a tip-off or a free-for-all. Stede comes from Chauncey's world and they are sending him back. Permanently.

Then it's time for the trap itself, which needs to do two things: get the Revenge somewhere that Chauncey can corner it, and get Edward out of there. And Izzy? Izzy knows Edward. Knows there's one particular person in his past that will have no trouble integrating with the crew, getting Edward to act more like a pirate than a gentleman, and who happens to have a great ambush location on hand.

I've said this before but I'm gonna say it again - I don't think outside characters realize how hard and fast Edward is falling for Stede. The BlackBonnet bonding moments happen almost exclusively when they are alone. The place Izzy dramatically fails to manipulate the situation is not having the evidence he would need to predict Edward going back for Stede. He (and Jack) both think that a precise wedge between BlackBonnet - one that Jack delivers near flawlessly by playing into real issues - will be enough to remind Edward that Stede isn't his people. This isn't a plan to murder the love of Edward's life while his back is turned. It's a plan to get rid of Stede, and remind Edward why he was on board with doing that in the first place. "That's fair," Izzy says about a punch to the face.

Instead, Izzy's plot accidentally backs Edward into a corner and forces him to publicly pull a grand-gesture relationship level-up that he was not emotionally ready for, and the fallout from that explosion is way worse than any of our conspirators were counting on.

Still... you gotta admit. It was a really good plan.

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fahbee · 6 months

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"their entire dynamic was izzy trying to make ed happy" "izzy was always just trying to make ed happy" "everything izzy did was for ed's happiness"

LMAO WHEN??

I've seen variations of the above repeated over and over again by izzy stans and what i want to know is - when??? when did izzy "try to make ed happy" in season 1??? Because there's example after example after example of Izzy acting against Ed's explictly stated wishes and desires, in other words, acting in ways that izzy knows will not make Ed happy.

Ed wanted to meet the guy traveling with a brigade of imbeciles who nevertheless managed to best izzy at swordplay. Meeting the Gentleman Pirate was Ed's explicitly stated wish. In fact he tasked Izzy with the invite because it was important to Ed and he didn't want someone less competent to fuck it up. If Izzy was just trying to make Ed happy, then why did izzy lie to ed about telling stede that 'blackbeard' desired stede's company? How was this deliberate attempt to poison Ed against Stede meant to make Ed happy?

Once they're on the Revenge, Ed tries to get Izzy to play along with identifying the cloud shapes as frankfurters. Izzy is completely humorless about it. "It's like pulling teeth with you, man." Ed is visibly delighted by Stede's ragtag crew. Ed is fascinated by Stede's trinkets, by the model of the ship. He shows it off to Izzy! Ed is plainly showing interest and joy at Stede's crew and possessions. Izzy shuts him down. Yes, Izzy is worried about the Spanish catching up to them. But if Izzy really was "all about" making Ed happy, why doesn't he play along, even a little, with something that is clearly making Ed happy in this moment??

Izzy admits in the s1e6 opening voiceover that Ed appears to be "seduced" by Stede. We see the montage of Ed and Stede talking and Ed is having a great time! He's smiling, he's laughing! As Ivan (or Fang?) says, "this is the most open and available i've ever seen him. look at him, he's telling ghost stories!" Ed is HAPPY. Yet Izzy hates this. He refuses to engage with the crew. He pushes Ed to kill Stede even though Ed is clearly reluctant to do it, even though Izzy himself knows that Ed feels fondness ("seduced by") for Stede. How can this possibly interpreted as Izzy "just trying to make Ed happy"???

When Izzy challenges Stede to a duel, Ed flat out says "We're not doing this, Iz!" and Izzy couldn't care less. "No. You're not doing this. So I must." Must? Must??? Why "must" you, Izzy?? Why MUST Izzy duel Stede in an attempt to either kill him or banish him from the ship - the end result being to separate him from Ed - if Izzy's driving motivation is ensuring Ed's happiness? Taking away the person who has made Ed smile and laugh, who has improved Ed's mood and behavior so noticeably that Ivan comments on it?? How will this "make Ed happy"???

And then when Izzy is himself banished from the ship instead, he tells Ed "You will rue the day and you will rue it hard." If Izzy just wants to make Ed happy, wouldn't a better response be for Izzy to say "sorry, boss, i didn't realize how much this fop meant to you." Even if he's still banished from the ship, he didn't have to depart in anger. If he really cared about Ed's happiness, he would have been fine leaving Ed with the person who he knows has been making Ed happy lately. Instead he goes and teams up with the British in order to KILL Stede. Because that will make Ed happy??? That makes no sense!!!

Of course Izzy doesn't do any of this for Ed's """happiness."""

At BEST, he knows this will make Ed unhappy but he assumes Ed will get over it eventually and things will go back to how they used to be. At WORST, he does this out of anger, spite, and jealousy, and he doesn't give a single shit about how he knows killing Stede will make Ed unhappy.

So where did this belief that Izzy was only trying to make Ed happy come from? Why do people repeat it as if it were established fact? As if it were the obvious interpretation of Izzy's behavior in season 1?

Because to me, it looks like fanon run amok. It looks like a blatant headcannon rewrite of the show. It looks like a complete lack of visual and auditory comprehension and the inability to follow a story at the most basic level.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #edward teach #blackbeard #izzy hands #izzy critical #the izcourse

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urproblematicfav-arsonk · 2 years

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I think a lot of people overlook that Izzy's actually a fairly meh okay person when he doesn't feel threatened. He's calm and open about his feelings with Jackie to a sort of embarrassing point lol. He's surprisingly chill during the initial Stede interaction and MOST importantly in my opinion, he's openly soft with Edward. I see a lot of fanfic that characterizes Iz has having this hyper masculine image of Blackbeard in his head and when Ed fails to meet that standard he's violent and cruel. And that's true in the last episode when Izzy is at the end of his fucking rope and is making the worse possible choices out of desperation but before that,,, its really not that bad??

There's clearly a disconnect between the two of them that's bothering Ed("you have no imagination" ect) but Izzy still shows a lot of softness towards Ed. Its mostly in his body language and exasperated housewife voice but Izzy is showing that he's okay with Ed being soft and being soft to Ed back but only in private. And this isn't to say Iz doesn't absolutely have his own toxic masculinity issues but I think these issues come more from fear then Izzy genuinely thinking being nice and having friends is bad. Something also important to remember is that Izzy knows what is probably Ed's most emasculating secret: the fact that he doesn't fucking kill people. Its not overly clear if Izzy knows the why of it but either way he respects it and actively protects Ed and takes on the burden for him because he knows that it on some level will hurt him to try to push him into it. When Iz betrays Ed he keeps saying "its humane" "its fast and clean and over" like he's trying to ease Ed's conscience and make it emotionally easier.

Izzy also isn't initially bothered by Ed playing dress up until he realizes Stede is also there. So Izzy is mostly okay with Ed wearing stupid fancy boy clothes and being a dramatic weirdo across the boat because Edward is erratic and probably has already done this before. And even though its a delete scene and I will forever hate David for this, Iz did help Ed get dressed up for the party.

I think Iz' behavior is just normal ass romcom other woman jealousy and having deeply internalized trauma and fear towards being seen as less masculine by society. Maybe I'm just having too much empathy for everything all the time again but Izzy's problem is so clearly that he knows if he's vulnerable and soft then he'll get fucking destroyed by the cishet toxic world we all live in. He's posturing all of the fucking time as a form of self defense and he tries to force Ed to use Blackbeard in the same way because he wants Ed to be safe and hidden from the people who absolutely are out there and want to hurt them. Trauma tends to fuck with you're perception of reality so we as a audience watch and go "But Fang and Ivan are cool!! They wouldn't bully Izzy for being soft" (despite the fact that the do in fact bully him in canon) but for Izzy, he's just in panic survival mode all of the time and can't easily relax and just casually trust a bunch of strangers in the way Stede (and by extension Ed) can

My point is Izzy deserves love and the space for growth just like Ed did and if you think otherwise then ur ugly and I don't like u.

also if Izzy doesn't get a redemption arc I will fully end up hating this show and i really deeply mean that im not fucking being hyperbolic lol

#its izzy apologist hours again #back at with the izzy posting #no idea why a 50 year old gay pirate with codependency issues has taken up so much of my brain space for like 4 months straight #probably the autisim tbh #ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #izzy hands apologist #long post #character analysis

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stedes-incredible-library · 1 year

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Mod A fav list

The OFMD Trucker AU by Harley_Quinn09876 [E], 85k

Stede Bonnet is getting divorced, which is actually a very good thing, but quite honestly he has no idea what to do with himself, he doesn't know what he wants, or what he likes... So on a whim, he abandons his life and heads out on a directionless road trip that is partly an escape, and partly an attempt at self discovery. One stormy night, one car accident, and subsequent rescue by a dashing trucker later, Stede is starting to get an idea of what, or at least who, he really rather likes. Or, that OFMD Modern Trucker AU that no one asked for but that I COULD NOT get out of my head

Water Flowing Underground by @gaypiratebrainrot [E], 22k

Actors and long-time friends Stede Bonnet and Edward Teach shoot the second season of their television show about the historical Gentleman Pirate Rhys Darby and Taika "Blackbeard" Waititi. Things do not go as planned.

kissing is what lovers do (and we're not lovers) by @afterism [E]

A vaguely canon-compliant friends-with-benefits scenario where they've been having sex since episode five but still don't kiss until episode nine, because they're both idiots who don't talk it through as a crew.

An Extremely Fun, Memorable, Deeply Cool Adventure by @ofmd-alsaurus [E]

Edward might be the one with the experience, but Stede is the one with the imagination. OR Stede invents cocksucking. Ed is scandalized and intrigued.

your name like a boat by @mia-ugly and @soft-october-night [E], 39k canon setting plus soulmarks

Sailors call them watermarks. A gift from the sea, a name or symbol written on your chest, meant to guide you to your own true love. But Stede Bonnet's mark doesn't look like anything at all. Not really. And it certainly doesn't look like 'Edward' or 'Teach' or 'Blackbeard' or a black beard and that's fine. Completely fine. Ed's absolutely fine with it.

Transformative Work by @mia-ugly and @pinehutch [E], 41k

"I heard you’re a writer,” Blackbeard says. There’s a sudden rustling sound as Blackbeard kicks something across the floor. Frenchie bends down to retrieve it, and sees that it’s a notebook. Wide and empty, like that one Lucius used to carry around with him. “Write us a better ending then.” (Captain Blackbeard has heard about Frenchie’s ‘bit of fanfiction.’ He asks him to write a better ending for his and Stede’s story. Frenchie tries his best but soon other people want to tell the story the way it should have gone, including Fang, Lucius, Ivan, Jim, and ultimately Ed. In the act of surviving and telling stories together, relationships are considered, examined, and developed. Meanwhile, a ship trailing seagulls grows closer and closer on the horizon.)

weather the storm by @one-more-page [E], 10k timeloop

Ed wakes up on the day Stede comes back over and over and over again.

somewhere in time by @one-more-page [M], 16k canon vibes and AU vibes

Stede goes overboard during a storm and watches his life with Ed in a dozen different timelines.

#gentlebeard is trending! by regional_catastrophe [T], 41k

In which Stede accidentally convinces the pirating world that Gentlebeard (or Blackbonnet or Stedward; there's a poll) is canon, reunites his crew, and gets his boyfriend back.

i'm yours, you know by @andillwriteyouatragedy [T], 9k

stede saves his crew, draws a duel, and reunites with the love of his life, though he's certain he's going to die every step of the way.

our blood is thicker than storms and saltwater by @andillwriteyouatragedy [M], 11k

"No!” Ed screams instinctively. He doesn’t know what’s happened, but he knows he’s heard a gunshot, and he knows Stede’s hands are slipping out of his, and he knows, a second later, that Stede’s let go of the railing to fall into the sea below. Somebody grabs onto Ed’s shoulder, but he wrenches them off of him without a second thought. He wrestles his boots off, then his weapons, but he doesn’t care to tear off anything else— there isn’t time for it, not now, not when— “Captain, don’t!” Frenchie shouts behind him. Ed ignores him. The Revenge doesn’t have a captain if Stede Bonnet’s not on board.

Bones Adrift by Skrifores [E], 42k

The Revenge spots a drifting, seemingly abandoned ship. Is it haunted, overrun by demons, or full of vampire-mermaids? Probably none of the above, Ed and Stede think, though some of the crew have different ideas. There does seem to be something wrong about that ship though. It warrants some investigation. This is a ghost story/horror genre (not too scary) multi-chapter story set in the wonderful Co-Captains time before everything went to hell.

Changing Tides by annabagnell and songlin [E], 37k

Stede Bonnet proudly took credit for every pound his lover gained. He was more right than he knew.

Stede Bonnet's Guide to Sexual Failure (and How to Overcome It) by @thetardigrape [E], 6k

Ed and Stede haven't fucked, but not for lack of trying. aka 5 times Ed and Stede didn't manage to fuck, and 1 time they did.

In Favor with Their Stars by @mxmollusca [M], 62k

Ed is an engineer aboard the Revenge, an interplanetary research vessel on a multi-year mission to study Jupiter's moon Europa. An accident requires that Ed awaken from cryostasis over six months early, and finds his only companion to be Stede, the ship's onboard AI. They develop an unconventional friendship, but is it possible to have more? This is classic mutual pining with a sci-fi twist, inspired by all of my favorite stories about the nature of personhood.

one little room an everywhere by @stedebonntits [T], 18k

Instead of running off to sea, Stede runs off to become a lighthouse keeper. It's uneventful, repetitive, and strangely soothing. Until the storm. Until Stede finds the man shipwrecked on the rocks below. Maybe it's what they both needed.

Down Where It's Wetter and Darling It's Better (WAS (Wet Ass Squssy)) by @zombee and @ghostalservice [E], 24k

When Ed hears Izzy's caught something strange in his net, he expects maybe a two-headed swordfish or a weird duck. But what he's found seems a little too human for Ed's taste. A Free Willy/Shape of Water/Little Mermaid/Tentacle AU.

your name like a boat by @mia-ugly and @soft-october-night [E], 39k

if you get the time, the number is still mine by @one-more-page [M], 25k

A series of phone calls as Stede and Ed go from childhood friends, to adults who can't connect, to something more.

#ofmd #our flag means death #fic rec #our flag means death fanfic #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #modern au #mod a

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something-about-sunflowers · 1 year

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Thinking about Izzy with hanahaki, coughing up flowers over Ed for like 25-30 years. Yeah it sucks but its not gonna kill him. Obviously keeps it a secret (From Ed at least, Fang and Ivan caught on but they don’t wanna get involved in All That so they keep it to themselves and help Izzy out when he gets bad spells. None of them mention it but Izzy is grateful, which makes it all the worse when they start palling around with the Revenge crew over Izzy :’Tc).

(Uh, readmore cause I didn’t expect this to get. Like. Huge. lmao)

Then Stede Fucking Bonnet comes along and things get worse as he watches Ed fall for Stede, even if he doesn’t really understand. Still, he manages. Gotta push through, Ed would expect nothing less.

And when Stede leaves and the Kraken happens Izzy goes through a good bit of hell. Ed is barely out the room after the toe incident before Izzy is hacking up so many flowers he thinks he might actually die this time. He doesn’t, though. Cleans himself up, puts his shaky legs to work. (And then Lucius finds out, doesn’t really matter who pulled him back on board, Izzy knows about it because none of them are subtle. He keeps the secret because. He’s really not sure. But Lucius is in the walls and he hears Izzy having a fit and now he knows. He wants to ask. Tries to, even, Izzy shuts him down and he’s not even angry when he does it. Just. Defeated. Lucius silently adds another thing to his ‘Things I’m Gonna Bitch At Blackbeard For Once He’s Not Crazy Anymore’ list.)

When Stede comes back its. Better. For a while. There’s a lot of hurt all around but everyone is alive and they’re (mostly) talking it through as a crew. Ed makes his apologies to the crew, even to Izzy. Stede makes his apologies as well. Izzy accepts that This Is His Life Now. Since Stede seems to actually want to learn now that he can’t just throw money at all his problems Izzy offers to actually teach him (instead of ‘teaching’ him like Ed does). He shows him the ropes (literally), gets him passable with a sword, keeps Ed focused when he’s teaching him navigation (not Izzy’s strong suit, he can manage if he needs to but Ed’s always been better at it). They actually find themselves getting along.

Izzy starts joining the crew during ‘story time’ (sometimes its stories, sometimes its other group activities, easier to just give it the one label). One night, after Stede finishes the story and everyone is heading to bed, he watches Stede and Ed head to their cabin. Sometimes they’ll ask him along for a night cap, not always though, and its. Fine. But. He watches them head off without him. The way they hold each other as they go, smiling, only eyes for each other.

He barely makes it to his room before he’s coughing up the most flowers he’s done since Ed fed him his toe. He, frustratedly, sets to work cleaning them up but. He actually stops to look at them. He stares. And stares and stares.

Two distinct types of flowers littler his floor. He tries to deny it but he understands immediately the implications. Fuck.

Still, Izzy is nothing if not the worlds most repressed trooper. He sticks it out. Or. Tries to. Its hard because Stede and Ed keep asking after him and seeking him out and talking and touching him and. Its just camaraderie he knows but. It makes him want. And he knows he can’t have that. He wouldn’t have a damn botanical garden in his chest if he could. Its starting to take its toll on him though. He can tell its getting bad because Stede and Ed are starting to worry about him. They don’t say it in so many words but he can see it in their eyes. Ed is more hesitant to go on raids, makes up some excuse about his knee playing up more than usual, but Izzy knows it because he can see how his hands shake even when at rest and he’s thinking about him slipping up in a fight. Stede’s plying him with herbal teas and feeding him several small meals throughout the day, he’s noticed Izzy can’t stomach much anymore, how he’s getting weaker by the day because of it.

He leaves after Lucius catches him having another fit. A bad one. He says he’s going to get the captains but Izzy begs him not to. ‘Not yet,’ he lies, ‘I’ll tell them myself but. Just. Give me some time.’ Lucius begrudgingly agrees, gives him two days. ‘And if you haven’t told them by then I’m going to do it myself and you can thank me later.’ Izzy leaves that night.

He shouldn’t be surprised, when he finds Calico Jack in some seedy bar at the nearest port he can reach, though he is. ‘Thought you were dead.’ He finds himself relieved he’s not, its nice to have a familiar face around if he’s gonna die here. (He knows he’s dying. Not immediately, he’s got more fight in him than that, but. Its coming on the horizon and he knows it. Like he knows a storm eventually follows a red dawn.)

Jack eyes him, calculating, never as drunk as he pretends to be. Izzy doesn’t know what he sees but he breaks into his usual grin and says, ‘Nah, still got - what is it - four? Four lives left. Take more than some crazy bird’s cursed cannon ball to take down Calico Jack, babydoll.’ If it were anybody else, Izzy would be bristling at the nickname, but he’s long since resigned himself to being called things like that from Jack. Jack loses his easy grin though and adds ‘You look a bit like death fuckin warmed over though, fuck happened to you?’ There’s genuine care in his tone and it reminds Izzy so much of Ed and Stede and, thank fuck Jack seems to notice because Izzy’s slapping a hand over his mouth and Jack is taking his arm and they barely make it to the shitty little room Jack’s occupying before the petals start spilling out. Jack holds him through the fit, its nice. Izzy almost regrets when its over because Jack sets him down on the bed and steps back, fixes him with a look he’s too exhausted to decipher. ‘Fuck.’ He says, eventually. ‘Think we’re gonna need a drink for this.’ The alcohol burns his tender throat but he knows Jack is gonna get him to talk anyway and its easier with the rum so he drinks. And he talks.

Jack doesn’t call him an idiot but its strongly implied. Izzy doesn’t know what he expects him to do, its not as if he chose this. He doesn’t call him an idiot though, instead he. Takes care of him? Its odd, he knows Jack isn’t as callous and heartless as he pretends to be, knows he’s actually got pretty good bedside manners in fact (There’d been a time before all the legend and everything after when they were all sailing together, they’d lost their medic during a raid and Jack stepped up. He was no doctor but he knew enough to keep everyone from dying til they go someone new. He also had a child and Izzy knew, for all that he was regularly absent from their life, he wasn’t an absent father. He knew how to care for people.), but it surprises him nonetheless to have it turned towards him. Like it matters to him that Izzy is as comfortable as he can be, given the circumstances.

Izzy manages to be up and around most days but they’re growing fewer. Lacking much better to do (he’s never been good at sitting idle) he follows Jack around when he can manage to get out of bed. On days where he can’t Jack still goes out, Izzy wonders why, he mostly just drinks and fucks around, its hardly as if he can’t do that here with Izzy. He supposes he must not make for very good company, sorry state he’s in. Still.

He’s more than a bit annoyed that it takes him hacking up even more flowers after Jack leaves one morning, with a ‘Be back sometime this evening Babydoll, I got something for you,’ to realize. ‘Fuck’s sake,’ he rasps, staring down at the mound of three distinct types of petals. He’s so tired. He’ll clean it up later, promises himself he’ll be up before Jack gets back to clean them up.

He dreams of warm hands, fond smiles, soft touches, and tender voices and wakes coughing up more and more flowers. He can’t breathe. Tears sting his eyes, from the pain in his throat and his lungs, at the thought of being alone at the end like this. He spares a brief thought towards how Jack will react, coming back this evening to find him gone. Wonders how Stede would react. Edward. Still more flowers.

The door bursts open and Izzy doesn’t have the air or the energy to startle. Jack. Jack is there and he looks panicked. And there’s Stede behind him. And Edward. Somehow Izzy finds the air to let out a hysterical little laugh, it comes out more of a gasp. Must have died already, he thinks, how else could they all be here, as though his thoughts summoned them.

‘Izzy!’ He’s not sure which of them is calling him, his vision is starting to go spotty and his ears are ringing. Maybe none of them, maybe its a trick of his desperate, dying mind. There’s hands on him, warm and soft and. Instinct tells him to fight, he can’t see who’s touching him, he knows he needs to fight but. He’s so tired. He can’t see but he feels his eyes slip shut.

‘Izzy, I love you.’

Nothing.

#the dork is being a dork #the dork does a fic #apparently #izzy hands #edward teach #stede bonnet #jack rackham #uh #stackedhands #gentlejizzed #im not sure what the agreed upon ship name is tbh #izzy/ed/stede/cj #he wakes up afterward to some very angry worried faces #they're all crying and telling him they love him talking over each other #lucius is also there crying telling him he's a fucking idiot and he should have listened to him earlier #jack put 2 and 2 together to realize izzy was sick over ed and stede so when he went out without izzy he was tracking them down #as best he could without actually leaving trying to get the message to them that izzy was dying over them and 'if you dont get your sorry #fucking asses here before he does and fix this then i'm gonna fuckin kill yall myself'#naturally they were already looking for izzy and they booked it when word reached them #real talk i have no idea where this came from i was just struck by the thought #izzy hands‚ the one man repressed and stupid enough to almost die from hanahaki over THREE people at once #i hope its obvious that they all do love him and he's just really fucking stupid about it

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izzyspussy · 1 year

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okay so. the show is like. forgive my lack of articulate... ness.

so season one has its clear main character, stede, whose point of view we the audience are following. we know basically everything about him, narratively speaking. we know how he feels, how he thinks, what he wants, how he got here, all the relevant parts of his backstory. we are generally introduced to characters as they are introduced to stede. we're here because of him.

then as the love interest, ed is the secondary main character. we're introduced to him before stede is and we know a lot about him. we know how he feels, how he thinks, and what he wants. we got two flashbacks and reports from other characters (izzy, fang, ivan, jack) as to some of his backstory.

as the antagonist (of season one), izzy is the tertiary main character. we know what he wants, and he had one episode of leading the pov.

and then we had one side character focused episode where jim got the A plot for a day. we got a speed run of their relevant backstory and one flashback.

so if i were writing it, i'd switch it up per season.

season two would frame ed as the main character. we'd follow his point of view for the majority. we'd learn the rest of his relevant backstory and have several flashbacks for him. we'd learn how he got to sea and what he was like as captain before stede, and if we felt like drawing a contrast we might learn what he was like as a shipman. we would see the other characters as he sees them.

izzy as - well, personally, i'd have him be a love interest too, but i don't really see that happening and this is, like, kind of sort of an analysis a little bit so i'm trying to keep it predictive, so - ed's only friend would be the secondary main character. we'd learn more about him too. we'd get to know how he feels, what he thinks, and a liiiitle bit of his relevant backstory. to parallel ed's role in season one, we would get two flashbacks.

stede as the antagonist-to-ed's-perception would be the tertiary main character, at least for the first half of the season. he'd be running most of the B plots. but he's paralleling izzy's role in season one here, so there might be one or two episodes where he wasn't there at all, if only because there was too much going on with the characters still on the revenge.

then, we'd be cycling through the most dynamic characters of the ensemble cast. next after jim should be either frenchie or lucius, since they both have had their pasts directly mentioned in a way that was plot-relevant in season one. personally i would go with lucius since we're going to have to find out how he's alive anyway. so we'd get one lucius-focused episode where he gets the A plot for the day and one flashback.

plot wise, i'd have the first half of season two be: A) the Kraken Era, izzy regretting his actions, foreshadowing but no direct confirmation of lucius's survival, jim and frenchie scheming and plotting, with frenchie, fang, and izzy's cringe fail self barely keeping us in the comedy genre by themselves, and the looming threat from the navy throughout. B) stede and marooned crew having a much easier time of being comedic, on land for an episode or two while they find another ship, stede gung-ho to track ed down and reunite with pushback from crew (marooned as they were), them grudgingly accepting stede as captain again but officially electing oluwande as first mate(/quartermaster), them making a name for themselves with stede using an alias he forgets to use most of the time (to no consequence), all of them becoming more competent sailors, and the first run-in with the Kraken.

the mid-season finale (did they do one of those? i didn't watch live. regardless, where the mid-season finale would go) is the lucius episode. episode starts in media res pre-season's start, with how lucius survived drowning and got into the walls. we get his flashback probably as a dream sequence when he gets on board, coughs up seawater, cusses ed aloud, and passes out. the rest of the episode shows him living in the walls, ties up all the foreshadowing from earlier, and ends with ed finding him (much as i would love izzy to find him and not turn him in, alas we must kill our darlings in the name of a concise, effective narrative). dun dun dunnn!

the A plot changes from there. multiple cohesive possibilities, but i'd go with one that starts bringing more comedy back into ed's pov. either way, the episode marks the turning point for ed. he decides to get better. he's unsure about the decision or how to do it, and also thinks izzy will disapprove, so he preemptively tells izzy all about it and not to try to change his mind (by his word choice and body language and the framing of the scene, we the audience know that if izzy did try to change his mind at this stage he would change it). izzy expresses very awkward approval and then immediately demands to know what the plan is for his own comfort, but upon seeing how exhausted that makes ed (now that ed is too torn down to hide it), he hesitantly floats the idea of figuring it out as they go. <- specifically says this as a collective action - we/us/etc - which makes ed get his big calf in the moonlight doe eyes, which izzy cannot look directly at without literally catching on fire.

the A plot for the rest of the season is ed's comically avoidant attempts to grow as a person without having to acknowledge the person he's starting with, alongside izzy's comically bad attempts to help. lucius does not become their therapist because i find that annoying and out of character, but he does sarcastically cheerlead and has a one-on-one moment of earnestness with each of them (like his one moment of earnestness with ed in season one while also bitchily not writing his shitty lyrics down).

meanwhile in the B plot, stede is beginning to doubt his conviction to reunite with ed. he discusses giving up and just doing piracy without romance with olu, who is of course conflicted because all evidence says the best coarse for the men is to give up but he personally obviously wants to find out what happened to jim (and he knows pete is still looking for lucius too). after a moment of indecision, and making sure the crew isn't listening in, olu shiftily encourages stede to keep trying. stede agrees, but in an end scene of him by himself we see that he's doing this - he thinks lmfao - for crew morale and is still on the verge of giving up despite olu's "support".

finally in the second to last episode, they run into each other again. stede and crew board the revenge, and stede threatens "the Kraken" at swordpoint to hear him out. big dramatic pause, during which izzy is having a strictly contained crisis over what he's supposed to be doing right now, and then ed just says yeah okay. end episode lmfao.

finale, stede didn't actually make a big speech and grand apology because he sucks. he's awkwardly trying to woo ed back while ed is skittish, standoffish, and deeply confused. every time stede is in a shot, izzy is in the background of that shot out of focus but very obviously glaring daggers and grinding his teeth to dust at the fucking audacity, the pure fucking gall, the fu-

the crew reintegrates easily, pairings are reunited, horror stories about both ships are exchanged, and everyone is vaguely scared of ed, which he - and therefore the audience - is hyper aware of. it colors every scene he's in. but finally, ed and stede have their Talk. it's dark, candlelit in the captains' cabin, like the first time. ed admits he's trying to get better but doesn't know how, and offers stede a new deal: stede will teach him how to be Good instead of rich in exchange for - well, ed can't think of anything stede might want from him anymore, but whatever. for the first time stede readily admits he's not an expert, and cites his abandonment of ed as proof. ed is struck by this, as until now he'd still thought stede leaving him had been a rational choice. stede says maybe they could both teach each other to be better men, together. so with a cautious, delicate hint of rekindling, they toast again to co-captaining.

season three we switch again. izzy is the main character now. we learn everything narratively speaking about him, we see things as he sees them and get several flashbacks. ed and stede make for a dual secondary main character.

stede and izzy have each appointed themselves as ed's representation to the other. they are like divorced parents with shared custody. he likes this / no the fuck he doesn't, he likes this / oh have you ever even met the man- but they're not antagonists to each other, because while izzy hates being wrong ever in his life and he finds stede's attitude and overall personality and whole being, in private the audience can see he really appreciates the opportunity to get to know ed better and to still be Here. he also fights hard for what he knows he's right about, and a primary conflict in the romance is stede not believing him and going back to ed like "can you believe this guy" and making ed feel bad. eventually stede admits he can be in the wrong too, and directly asks for izzy's help - which changes their dynamic drastically and instantly. now they're still like divorced parents with shared custody, but they're teaming up to make their depressed kid happy again whether he likes it or not.

ed is on the same level of narrative importance as stede because the blackbonnet romance is still the A plot, and because ed is simply always going to be narratively important to izzy.

first episode, they fake ed's death too to get rid of the navy threat because we have more important things to worry about now. the fuckery only works because izzy follows them around during planning and yaps at their heels until all contingencies are accounted for. even still, they accidentally fake the deaths of the entire crew instead of just ed.

we get another side character focused episode, but depending on who had plot relevant backstory hinted at in season two it could be anyone.

overall B plot is izzy and oluwande working together to handle literally all of the actual ship business while stede and ed have a self-improvement cruise aksjfks. they regard each other with extremely stiff professionalism, but gradually warm to each other - not least in part because jim is already semi-friendly with izzy and both izzy and olu trust their judgement. (also it's difficult to tell when izzy is joking, so everyone else can only tell when jim laughs or plays along.)

ed and stede get a classic second-chance HEA, where they are together and committed but with their flaws and the upcoming challenges explicitly acknowledged.

(and then if it was ME, if I was doing it. there would also be Season Four: The Blackhanneting, where it switches back to stede as the main character - full circle baybee - and ed-and-stede bring izzy in, and the conflict - in addtion to. that. whole thing. - is that nana knows stede at least is still alive from his terrible ineptitude at having an alias and is coming after them for getting jim killed. but that's just me. that's just what i would do.)

end post. forgive any typos.

#jack facts #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #ed teach #izzy hands #jim jimenez #lucius spriggs #oluwande boodhari #blackbonnet #blackhands #blackhannet #hc #my fic #otplus #gen

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sethmacenzie · 6 months

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So I've said my part about ofmd season 2s finale and that I didn't even care anymore that my favourite character died, but the show had such an insane decline from season 1 to season 2 it was simply not as enjoyable for the entire time.

So here's a quick critique of open issues that stuck with me:

-they killed Ivan off-screen and he's only mentioned once in passing, no one cares or questions where he is when they meet again, they were fine with Izzy there, but didn't even bother asking about a crew member they were much closer with -Buttons turned into a seagull (which I didn't think was bad) and it's only questioned once by Roach and then never again brought up, and Roach asks if Ed didn't simply kill him and it's just ignored -Ed doesn't really become part of the crew, he doesn't pay up for what he did and why is Izzys deathbed apology more sincere than Ed's non apology about Izzys leg? He doesn't deserve to come back at all, because he doesn't do anything to earn it. He spends a day with Fang and that counts for the whole crew, Fang who isn't even angry at him -Izzy actually earns his place within the crew and still has to apologize to Ed, his worst abuser. Sure Izzy was part of the problem with Blackbeard, but in no way does it justify what Ed did to him (and everyone else while he was Captain of the Revenge) -remember last season when Ed made it clear that he only ever killed one person, and then in the finale he coldly pushed Lucius over and it was therefore a big deal? Yeah Ed just randomly kills like it's nothing now, and "go back to what you were good at", it wasn't killing, Ed was never good at killing

-they barely paid attention to the non ships aside from Izzy and it sucks. We had such a wonderful balance in season 1 of crew live, that we got to love them all, we didn't have any of that in season 2, it's so plain when you look at Archie, she just didn't get what her crewmates got to the point you don't care about her all that much -speaking of Archie, that relationship something with Olo, JIm, Archie and Zhang Yi Sao was a mess, they sank of the biggest relationships from season 1, which had such a well done ark in the first episodes, and many, myself included thought we might get a poly relationship, but we didn't, we got the mess we had. We had a well developed relationship that took an entire season to build and it got removed during the first three episodes in favour of two new underdeveloped characters getting with them in no time

-I know we are not historically accurate and don't bother too much with it, but Zheng Yi Sao is the most powerful female pirate in history and they nerved her for nothing, I did like how Richard got rid of her fleet, but they should have used someone else than a pirate known for dying peacefully because she got so powerful she made a deal

-the pacing was obviously bad, and I want to give them as much nicety about it as possible, but Owl House got cut from an entire season to three episodes and they still manged to nail it, ofmd lost 2 episodes and it doesn't excuse this pacing

-honestly Izzys redemption ark was rushed, just so he could be killed off, it was too much, too fast. I do love the first few episodes of him, but doing drag was a bit far fetched for episode 6, but it's a small complain, loved the singinig and dancing

-"bottle it up" is the new solution to problems, after "talk it through as a crew" from season 1. Lucius, Frenchie and Izzy just bottle everything up and nothing bad comes of it, we're supposed to believe that's a good thing? -everyone knows Stede is alive, Mary relies on him being dead and it's never brought up or important whatsoever

-this season feels like there aren't proper consequences, Ed can leave and come back and it's fine, Buttons can turn into a seagull and no one cares, Auntie gets blown up with the fleet and survives, people get stabbed multiple times and survive, but Izzy gets shot and dies, it's all over the place -there is always the whole: we have a suicidal character, they try to kill themselves, they fail, they get over their depression, they finally get happy, and we kill them off just after they found happyness. It sucks as a trope, it gives every last person that is suicidal the feeling that being happy is not worth it, because you're going to die anyway and well, maybe don't have the characer that tried to kill himself this season a line about wanting to go and in the same episode that had "it's only suicide if we die", it's tasteless at best and ill-intended at worst

-Roach is in the main cast now, but I swear he had more scenes in season 1 than seaosn 2

-having a tiny funeral scene and bam wedding, like there was no decent emotional impact on either of these moments, any why would they bury him without his leg or ring?

-Stede has a panic moment when he kills Ned and it seems like that's why he and Ed slept togeher, but it's not brought up that killing is still an issue

To end it on a few positive notes, I liked -Swede becomes Jackies husband and Roach going Mrs Bettet about the whole thing -most of the first three episodes in general -Buttons turning into a seagull and being recognized as a seawitch -having more historical figures -Auntie -Susan (mostly) aside from the issue I brought up -Wee John getting into knitting -Izzy sining and dancing -the entire leg arch of Izzy -pretty much all Izzy/Stede interactions -Frenchie sceming again and the rest all going with it -indigo! -everyones new looks -Fang going fishing and his and Roachs spa day -the after credit scenes -Ed freaking out because Stede moved too fast -Stede having a killing flashback when killing Ned Low -Spanish Jackie in general, but especially poisoning everyone and getting Swede a new look -Richard as the main antagonist -Clocks -Stede getting Hellcat Maggie and the to mutiny -the entire cast was amazing

And I shouldn't have to say this, but: don't harass people over this, critiquing is fine, threats are not. And no it's not bury your gays, everyone here is gay and that is not one of the issues this season had.

#ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #critique

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suffersinfandom · 1 month

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I love the second season of OFMD. I honestly love it even more than the first season! The emotional highs and lows hit even harder. The first three episodes are, in my opinion, Perfect Television, and episodes four and five are currently my favorite things to rewatch. Even the weaker episodes have moments that are completely brilliant and had me yelling at my laptop at two in the morning the first time I experienced them.

But the season did have its flaws. The secondary characters really take a backseat to Ed and Stede, and I especially felt this with Jim. Izzy’s character development between seasons one and two and then between episodes four and five felt hurried and, sometimes, unearned. Episodes six, seven, and eight all work for me emotionally, but they all have story/pacing/continuity issues that the rest of the show doesn't.

I don’t blame the team for any of this! Given the shorter season and stringent limits on episode length, I understand why the crew focused on hitting all of the beats of Ed and Stede’s story at the expense of other storylines. It also seems like there was heavy interference in the back half of the season, and yeah, that makes episodes six, seven, and eight make more sense to me. Would’ve loved to see what those episodes might have looked like if season two had been given the same amount of freedom as season one.

Anyway, I’ve been dreaming about fix-its for season two and here are my top suggestions that no one asked for.

The ultimate fix: Add five to ten minutes to each episode (and tell the higher-ups to kick rocks if they want to make changes).

My faith in the writers is so absolute that I think this would fix most things. Jenkins and company are fantastic writers with solid handles on the story they want to tell, and every cut moment that we’ve seen has been so good. Given more time and freedom to tell their story, I honestly think they would’ve given us a season two that exceeded all expectations. But barring that…

Fix 1: Alter Izzy’s storyline.

One of the big stumbling blocks for me was Izzy. I know that some people love his storyline, and that’s okay! This is a fix-it list for me, not for them! I feel like we spent a lot of time with Izzy that might’ve been better spent elsewhere and his development didn’t feel earned. I just didn’t believe that he was a different guy by episode five, you know? So here’re a few ideas:

1A. Kill Izzy offscreen between seasons (the Ivan Treatment, if you will). I know this would never happen, but gosh, it'd save us from some discourse and free up a bunch of time.

1B. Make Izzy’s development more gradual. Make him resistant to helping Stede in episode five and bitchier towards the crew. Have him scowling in the background during Calypso’s birthday party. Don’t have him stroll in on Ed and Stede the morning after. Throw in a few moments where we see him wanting to change and be better. Give him a more subtle moment to show that he's better (and give Wee John the spotlight during the party).

1C. Spread out Izzy’s rehabilitation arc and have him receive the unicorn leg in episode eight. This frees up more time for other stuff and Izzy can live until the next season when his arc concludes -- everyone wins!

Fix 2: Cut Oluwande and Zheng Yi Sao’s romantic subplot.

It hurts me to suggest this because I love these two characters, but if we want to free up more time for character development, I think cutting into their subplot (and giving that time to Jim and Olu) is the way to go. They can still be friends! Maybe friends with an inkling that they’ll be romantically involved in the next season? But I really needed Jim and Olu to have more time together, and I think it would’ve been easy enough to establish an Olu/Jim/Archie polycule with hints that Zheng might be interested in that whole situation.

Fix 3: Give Ed more time with the crew.

I really, really wanted to see Ed and the crew work themselves out. Ed’s time with Fang was fantastic and I’d give anything for similar moments with, say, Jim and Frenchie. I also wanted some kind of resolution with Lucius. The season works for me without this -- I think that we’re meant to infer from Ed’s actions in episode five that he’s putting in the work with the whole crew -- but I want it. I want to see it with my eyeballs.

Fix 4: Add some songs for me personally.

Okay, I don’t think that adding any of the following songs would make the season materially better, but I still want to see:

- Kraken era “When Doves Cry” sequence - Smooching set to “Because the Night” - ABBA! Either “SOS” or “Lay All Your Love On Me”

That’s it, really! I know that cutting down Izzy and Olu/Zheng would’ve made some folks unhappy, so it’s probably just as well that David Jenkins didn’t ask me for a beta read.

And don’t get me wrong -- I’m so happy with the season two that we have. I don’t need it to be different, I just need Samba to release everything that was cut so we can string together our own director’s cut.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #honestly more time would've fixed most things #time and freedom #i've been waffling on posting this because #well #gestures at s2 negativity #me typing things

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dragonmuse · 1 year

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im so curious about Ivan and Fang. how did they go from working with Eddy to working at the bar? How has their relationships with Eddy and Izzy changed? i think it was mentioned that Ivan went to school to get a degree. how’s he doing? and in one of the recent AUs i think you mentioned Fang having a girlfriend?? do they meet in the mainverse?

(many questions! Here are some of the answers, willing to do more, but this is how it came to me)

They came to watch the Kraken. Fang got them a table, Ivan bought the drinks and they settled into the back.

“Can’t believe the boss was doing drag this whole time,” Fang whispered.

“Not the boss, anymore,” Ivan reminded him.

“I know, I know. Take a while to get used to that.”

The show was great. They followed the crowd in throwing tips at the stage, and the Kraken took theirs with the kind of smile they’d never received in all the years of working for Eddy.

“Come back soon,” she waved at them with a handful of ones.

“You bet.”

They went back to their shared apartment, into their own bedrooms. The next morning, they ate breakfast, and then there was no more delay. Without further conversation, they both drew out the contracts that Eddy had left behind. Ivan had marked his up, full of flags. Fang only had a few notes.

“Before we pick it apart,” Fang tapped his pen against the first page. “First idea?”

“Count of three?” Ivan suggested. “Go or stay?”

“Yeah.”

“One,” they both said, “Two. Three.”

“Go.”

Fang sighed with relief, “Really?”

“I’m done with it, I think. We had some good times,” Ivan shrugged. “But I’m ready to step down. The money really is good.”

“Agreed.”

They went through all their notes anyway, but in the end, they were both firm on the decision. They would take the severance and find something new.

“Any ideas?”

“No,” Ivan frowned. “I want some time to think.”

“What if we wind up doing different things?” Fang realized. “That’d be...”

“It’d be okay,” Ivan patted his hand. “We’ll still be roomies, right?”

“Right,” he said with a sinking heart. “Of course.”

They both went into work on Monday to tell Izzy about their decision. He was sitting in his office, staring into space, but a growl was ready on his lips when they came in.

“What do you two want?”

“We’re taking the deal,” Fang said for the both of them. Ivan preferred if he spoke for him. That’s why they had their morning sit downs, so Fang wouldn’t agree to anything Ivan didn’t want. T had taken years to work out the exact best way, but they were smooth now. A good team. “The severance.”

“Of course you are.” It was weirdly devoid of judgment. Devoid of life entirely. “Then what are you doing here?”

“Telling you? Two week’s notice-”

“Fuck that,” Izzy slammed his hand down his desk. “Get the fuck out of here! Go! Like everyone else you miserable assholes!”

“Okay, boss,” Fang said gently. “We’re going. You change your mind though, we said two weeks. You can call us if you need something.”

“Like I’d need the likes of you two idiots. Leave your keycards on the front desk on your way out.”

“Okay.” Fang sighed. “Bye.”

Izzy’s attention had snapped to his monitor. They had been dismissed and if they pushed it, there would likely be violence. The man was clearly itching to fight someone and neither of them wanted to do the job.

So just like that, they left their keycards on the front desk, gathered their few belongings that they left in the office (Ivan’s cardigan, Fang’s flavored waters and their international collection of interesting rocks that they’d been leaving under the blinds in the conference room for years), and walked away from the only job they’d known for years.

They took a few weeks off and it was a revelation not to have to work. There was time for projects cast aside. Fang finally finished knitting the sweater he’d been working for literal years. Ivan fixed the cabinets in the kitchen and even gave them a fresh coat of paint. Together they rearranged the living room furniture to catch better light and plowed through a backlog of shows they’d put on their ‘to be watched’ list.

Each Friday, they went back to the Revenge. They started to learn people’s names and get head nods and hellos.

“Did you used to work for Eddy?” Lucius asked the fourth week they came in. He was leaning over the bar, giving Fang a very pretty smile. Fang smiled back. He’d like to meet the man who wouldn’t.

“Yeah, we both took the severance though.”

“So, are you going to live out the rest of your lives on a beach?”

“Wasn’t that much,” Ivan said quietly and Fang smiled at him too. He must be comfortable here.

“Then what’s the plan?” Lucius tapped the top of Fang’s hand.

“Not sure yet. We’re considering our options. But not a lot of things available for guys with our resumes that’s not more of the same.”

“That’s a shame,” Lucius glanced between them. “You like it here though, right?”

“Yeah,” Ivan nodded.

“A lot,” Fang agreed.

“Good. How about I get you two hotties house specials and you grab yourselves a seat?”

They did find good seats. The show was a continued joy to watch. On the way out, Fang grabbed a postcard advertising a summer festival.

They went to that too and Fang got further acquainted with both Lucius and the cleaning closet in the back of the Revenge. It was a really delightful day, all told. Lucius put his number in Fang’s phone,

“You call me anytime you’ve got a thirst,” Lucius grinned. “Or just to say hello. Though maybe that’ll be easier soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“Wheels within wheels,” Lucius winked.

As it happened they were looking through job advertisements, slightly discouraged, when Ivan’s phone dinged.

“Huh,” he showed the screen to Ivan.

Eddy: would you like a job? Both of you, just show this to the other one, this contact is ‘ivanandfang’ in my phone for some reason.

“Think the boss is back in already?” Fang asked, disappointed even at the thought. Eddy seemed really happy.

“Maybe,” Ivan considered. He typed back then showed the message to Fang, who nodded in approval.

Ivan: this is ivan. What is the job? Would consider.

Eddy: we need bouncers. You guys look the part and you’re better trained then anyone we could hire. Salary is close to what you used to make, there’s benefits. Stede has the details.

“Bouncers,” Ivan tapped his fingers against his knee.

“Not exactly a fresh new start,” Fang agreed. “But it’s something. And probably easier than running across country lines.”

“Maybe. Trail period?”

“Oooh good idea.”

So they started at the Revenge with the understanding that everyone was giving each other three months to see how it would go. There was a little confusion at first, Ivan and Fang reporting to Eddy, who kept telling them one thing, and then Stede coming to find them to tell them another. It took a group meeting to iron out that they’d get their schedule and report to Stede and only go to Eddy if they needed an extra set of hand on a difficult problem.

“Honestly, I’d rather not,” Eddy told them after Stede left. “Doubt anything will happen here you two can’t handle. Just call me in if it’s really hairy, yeah?”

“Absolutely,” Fang tried to convey his approval as much as he could in the single word.

He mentally added to his job description ‘keep Eddy away from fights’. He wasn’t sure if Ivan did the same, but he must’ve taken some note because they were both very careful about managing violence out the door and away from the stage.

“Great job tonight,” Lucius said to Fang as he swung chairs back up onto the table. “Very impressive how you handled that guy.”

“Wasn’t anything,” he denied, warm in his stomach. Even if he wasn’t exceedingly fond of Lucius, that kind of talk would’ve gotten him every time.

“Can you imagine Hands saying ‘good job’?” He said to Ivan on the way home.

“He’d choke on it.”

Neither of them mentioned Eddy, who now apparently said things like that all the time. She’d been more prone to compliments than Izzy certainly, but they hadn’t exactly gushed free either.

It was an unassuming night in May, after closing time, when Ivan thrust the phone at him again. There was a picture on it, a tiny woman with a halo of natural curls, berry lipstick and deep brown eyes. She had a neck tattoo of some kind though it was hard to make out in the dimness of the bar.

“Who’s that?”

“Mina,” Ivan said despairingly. “Isn’t she pretty?”

“Yeah, but...who is she?”

Fang couldn't remember the last time Ivan had known someone he hadn’t. Usually it was Fang that met new people. It was just their way.

“Matched with her on an app,” Ivan drew the phone back. “We’ve got a date tomorrow.”

“Oh my god!” Fang clapped his hands together delightedly. “Really? Where? When? Ivan!”

“No,” Ivan ducked his head, but he was smiling.

“C’mon, tell me the details.”

“We’re going to get ice cream and play laser tag,” he mumbled. “She’s really into laser tag.”

“That’s great! Have you been talking for long?”

“Texted for a few days, talked on the phone last night. She’s got a nice voice.”

“Of course she does,” Fang nodded. “What else does she like?”

“What are we talking about?” Lucius swept by the table, carrying a pitcher of what Fang hoped was water, considering most of the Revenge staff had a drag brunch the next day. They were all still here though, even Eddy and Stede, so it as probably more of a festive night.

“Private stuff,” Fang informed him, giving him a conciliatory one-armed hug around the waist.

“Oooh fascinating,” Lucius dropped a kiss on the top of Fang’s head, then left them to their conversation.

“Thanks,” Ivan slid the phone into his pocket.

“Your business,” Fang said gravely.

When Ivan left for the first date, Fang did not pace nervously around the apartment. Instead, he took himself out for dinner and a movie, so he wouldn’t spend the whole night hoping it had gone all right. Ivan had had his flings when they were more international men of mystery, but those had had the advantage of them leaving the country directly afterward with little expectation of commitment.

But deep down, Ivan was a romantic and if this went badly, he’d be crushed.

Despite that long outing, he was still back home before Ivan. He settled on the couch, figured he’d be home soon.

The door opening woke him, startling him bolt upright, knife in his hand. Ivan closed the door then leaned back against it. He smiled.

“Oh yeah?” Fang shoved the knife back into his pocket.

“She’s amazing.”

“Tell me everything!”

There was a lot to tell. That night and many nights to follow. It took a few weeks, but Ivan eventually brought her to the apartment and Fang tried his best to look welcoming. Mina took his hand in both of hers,

“It’s so nice to meet you,” she said and her voice was lovely, a little husky and sweet. “Seems like your Ivan’s other half.”

“Nah,” Fang said, utterly charmed. “He’s whole. But I like being along for the ride.”

He carried most of the conversation that night, but he was used to that. Mina seemed just as happy as Ivan to let him. They ate dinner together, then Mina and Ivan went out. In the morning, Mina crept out of Ivan’s room while Fang made coffee. She was in a blush pink zip up bathrobe and her hair was in a silky bundle on top of her head. It was a little at odds with their sword and sorcery decor,

“Want some?” he offered.

“Please.”

They sat together in the rising sun.

“Are you seeing anyone?” She asked, hands wrapped around the mug, holding it close to her heart.

“Just a few casual things. There was a man for a lot of years, we even lived together. Didn’t work out in the end.”

“That was before you met Ivan?”

“Yeah. Feel like I’ve been there and done that for now. But who knows? Lot of people out there in the world.”

“I was married before,” Mina nodded. “It was the man I didn’t like though. The idea of being with someone is good.”

“To fresh starts then,” he raised his mug and she grinned as she tapped hers to his.

Fang braced himself for Ivan to move out and into Mina’s place, but instead, they both came to Fang and asked,

“Would you mind?”

And he didn’t. He liked Mina a lot. She had an okay paying job, enough to cover a third of the rent and that meant even more money to put away for retirement and to occasionally splurge on collectibles.

What he hadn’t seen coming was the separation that he had really been dreading originally to arrive at last. Ivan suggested they go out for dinner together and Fang hadn’t thought much of it until they were halfway through their steaks and Ivan sighed.

Fang sat up straighter.

“Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ivan said quickly. “I just wanted to tell you in a good way. Don’t get upset, okay?”

“What is it?” He was already imagining a thousand terrible things.

“I’m going to go back to school with my severance pay. I might be able to do a few hours at the Revenge, but probably not much.”

Fang’s heart sank, but then he gave himself a rough scolding. Ivan had vaguely talked about going back to school for a long time and Fang had always told him to go for it. He couldn’t go back on that now.

“That’s great! Where are you going? What are you going to study?”

“You’re not upset?”

“A little,” he admitted. “But I’m really happy for you too. So tell me more of the happy parts.”

“I want to teach,” Ivan told him. “In the neighborhood I grew up in. Maybe middle school. I had a nice sixth grade science teacher and I want to do that for some kids.”

“Oh!” Fang gave him warm, slightly watery look. “That’s beautiful.”

“Don’t do that,” Ivan scolded, but he was smiling and maybe he was a little watery too. “I haven’t got in anywhere yet. Maybe I won’t.”

“We’ll ask Lucius,” Fang said immediately. “I bet he can help.”

It wound up being a joint effort of Lucius, who was great with the financial paperwork, and Stede, who apparently thought editing essays was fun, the delightful weirdo. And then there was Eddy, who without being asked (at least not by Ivan) produced a letter of recommendation. Ivan hugged her and she let him and it was all very sweet.

The first day Ivan had class, Fang solemnly handed him a paper bag.

“What’s this?” Ivan took it with a bemused look.

“Mina and I packed you lunch.”

Ivan laughed, but he took it and hugged him.

Fang hoped he’d find the note in the bag under the sandwich.

Kick ass, take names. We love you! - M and F

#leda house and the kraken verse #ficlet #the bouncer the bouncer and mina

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sixstepsaway · 2 years

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Im having a lot of fun thinking about how Izzy is open with his thoughts to Ed, but Ed doesn't reciprocate, and then Ed is open with his thoughts to Stede who ALSO doesn't reciprocate and how this is what fucks up both their relationships. If either of these relationships was more secure they'd have avoided so much trouble we wouldn't have the story, which is why they aren't secure. They're all a mess!

Very fun to ship steddyhands and think about closing this circle. Stede being open with Izzy while on the outs with Ed and Izzy not sharing absolutely anything bc after the finale he doesn't trust anyone anymore much less Stede.

Fuuuuuuuuck yes.

I know that logically the show is not going down a Steddyhands or Blackhands route. I know that. We're not going to get that. I doubt we'll even be indulged in getting some Blackhands love triangle content or, like, flashbacks or a chunk of time where it is canon before we get endgame Blackbonnet (and, honestly, after what Ed did to Izzy in 1x10, any post-s1 canon Blackhands would need a lot of work to make go without it being deeply concerning).

But the more I analyze what the show gives us and how the characters act right now (and I acknowledge that growth could easily nullify a lot of this? Characters developing is important, and that's how we'll get our Blackbonnet endgame and it'll be good, but) I can't see a lot of ways for Blackbonnet to end up together in a good place without the inclusion of Izzy.

Ed and Stede have, up until this point, seen each other through rose-tinted glasses, to the point Ed didn't give a fuck Stede had left his family, and Stede didn't give a fuck Ed had killed a bunch of people including his own father.

Now Stede is going to have to see Ed as someone who tried to kill seven of the nine people Stede cares about most (seven of eleven, if we say Stede also cares for Ivan and Fang now, which I like to think he does) and willingly maimed his most loyal companion.

Ed is going to have to see Stede as someone who ran away and abandoned him and clearly has a habit of doing this, and Ed being Special and someone Stede Actually Loves did not change that he did the same to Ed as he did to Mary. Mary having his children didn't change he did it to Mary, either. Nor did the fact he loves his kids stop him doing it to them. Loving them does not stop Stede running away from that person like his ass is on fire. Nor does any semblance of commitment (marriage and children).

This relationship will, because of this, need a lot of work, and most of that work is going to require communication. Ed will need to talk about why he did what he did (Izzy's words, how he was feeling etc) and Stede will have to talk about why he did what he did (ruined Blackbeard, the guilt over leaving Mary and the kids that he's been carrying this whole time, probably a splattering of maybe not gay panic (he didn't seem to be panicking he was kissing a man) but definitely a bit of kissing someone I am not married to while I still technically have a wife panic, especially considering he was not super thrilled Mary was sleeping with Doug, even after he fucked off on her).

Closing that loop with Steddyhands is galaxy brain because Stede is open to hearing whatever people want to say about and to him, unlike Edward "You know we speak our minds on this ship until you say something I don't like and then I call you a dog and chokeslam you" Teach, and Stede is also a lot less reserved around Izzy in so far as he's willing to seem like a complete cunt when talking to Izzy ("oh it's you" "iGGy" "tell your boss he can suck eggs in hell!"), whereas he seems to rein his more abrasive sides in around Ed, and the most bitchy he really gets is that sideways comment of, "In hindsight I kinda shoulda known," about Jack being mutinied on and his, "Ed, do you know this guy, he's a real dick!", but that could be assumed by Ed to be Stede pretending to be Blackbeard (which, I do not think he was. Ed embodied Stede, but Stede just chilled in his clothes and remained being Stede).

(Relatedly: I find it very funny that the thing Ed was most fascinated by and attracted to in regards to Stede early on is that Stede told him to go suck eggs in hell, but really Stede was saying that to Izzy, it's Izzy's face he snarled those words into, about some boss he had never met and had no desire to meet, and it was Izzy he was calling Iggy and telling to fuck off. I imagine if Stede had told Ed to go suck eggs in hell to his face, Ed would've come in his pants on the spot, and I also imagine that if Ed found out/realized Stede was actually mostly saying that to Izzy, he'd be utterly baffled that Izzy hated Stede rather than wanting him for himself, idk.)

It's especially fascinating to imagine closing the loop with Stede actually letting himself be bitchy and a bit abrasive around Ed, because judging by the fact Ed readily lets Izzy be abrasive as fuck and rude as hell to him and all he does is pull these faces:

the first of which is downright fond

the second is "you called him a ponce, do you really think he's gay? i'm hoping he's gay"

and this one which is my personal favorite because it's just "idk where those fingers have been, iz" and his eyes sweep back and forth between each finger like "are you going to jam these up my nose next" it's so funny, i love this scene so much it lives rent free in my brain it really does

and after izzy storms off to grab stede he just does this

and it just reads like "hm, we were overdue a shitfit weren't we mate but the fingers were surprising"

(also, related to the conversation about timelines in another meta, though idk if i'd call this post a meta per se, i noticed that stede's bruise from the hanging goes right up under his chin, so the cravat definitely isn't covering it up in 1x05, it's just gone, and presumably completely healed

six weeks my ass)

anyway, Ed's expression when Izzy does his lil tizzy at him tells me that this is something that Izzy does. he broods and eventually blows up and tells Ed how he's feeling and he's mean and grumpy and Ed often finds him being a lil bitch to the crew or to hostages or whatever and it's just. normal.

and that also implies, since Ed kept him around, that Ed likes that about him.

in fact i think the fact that when izzy starts his tirade Ed is just like "*points* that's blackbeard" kind of proves it's something he finds more down the realm of playful than offensive, and actually izzy even smiles a little when he says that, like he's finding it amusing and he'd be playing if the situation wasn't so god damn dire and they werent all probably about to die and if they hadnt lost a bunch of their guys to this

(and i mean, this could be that con struggled to keep a straight face after either something taika did between takes or just the way taika delivered the line "I'm Stede, remember?" but I prefer Watsonian analysis of scenes that make it into the show for my metas)

So, conclusions: Ed finds Izzy's temper and abrasive attitude and temper very endearing and downright amusing. Izzy enjoys the way Ed plays with him (because he's Ed's to play with) and this scene might have gone differently if Ed wasn't actively not-really-leading them into their deaths.

We don't have any canon confirmation of whether Izzy and Ed were ever in any kind of relationship before, if they've ever been sexually intimate etc. All we know is David Jenkins says Izzy is in love with Ed, and that when Ed slammed Izzy into the wall, Izzy reached out to cup his cheek and say, "There you are."

I don't, for the record, think they've ever fucked or even kissed in the past. I do, however, think they've been surprisingly intimate, judging by the way Izzy felt comfortable cupping his cheek, and we already know that Edward's fucked Jack--

(and I know some people think maybe Jack was lying to rile Stede up, but I don't think he was. Ed and Jack are very handsy with one another, they sit very close together, they have excellent chemistry when they're fucking around together. Jack's an ass, but Ed talks at length about how he saved Ed's life in the past and how Jack is his old friend, and they talk about serving together under Hornigold in a way that makes me think they spent a lot of time in close quarters. However, I do think Jack probably fucked Ed because there was no one else around to fuck and they wouldn't make berth somewhere with prostitutes any time soon so he might as well pretend Ed's a girl, whereas Ed fucked Jack because he was hot and he'd saved his life and he wanted to because he's into men. Which is two very different vibes, and if Ed's used to that kind of treatment (him liking a guy sexually or romantically or intimately, and the guy being his bud but either not being gay/bi/etc or simply refusing to admit he might be so putting it down to "it doesn't count at sea"), then it makes sense he wouldn't really feel comfortable leaning into any relationships with anyone, even Izzy and Stede (who he didn't admit to feelings for until 1x09 because it was the first time he thought maybe, if he was lucky, Stede might be feeling the same?) and so for him it's just sex and maybe he wouldn't want to go there with Izzy because being cast off like that by Izzy would just be far, far too much?)

--and the way he flirts with Stede is a guy who knows how to get other guys into bed when he wants to (when they're not oblivious blondes and sporting fine fabrics), so he clearly has experience etc, and I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibility that he's attracted to Izzy, and that Izzy's attitude and personality is, actually, something Ed is and has always been into (which would also make the intimacy of the toe scene even more chilling but let's not go too deep about that here).

To dig into the idea of that further, it wouldn't surprise me if the "Izzy, I want you to handle this yourself," "Oh, Edward, can't I just send the boys? 🥺" and the "you are an insane shell of a man posing as blackbeard!" "😏 i'm not blackbeard, he is. I'm stede, remember~?" could actually be their idea of flirting, something they've always done. Except, as I've said up there already, Izzy was genuinely riled up because Ed had sacrificed multiple of their crew to this insanity and was highly likely about to get everyone killed by the Spanish, so although the flirting was familiar and slightly pleasant, it couldn't continue.

Which brings us back to the actual topic at hand, which is that if Ed is into the guy who told Blackbeard to go suck eggs in hell, and Ed is into Izzy's attitude, it stands to reason that if Stede actually let his bitchy side out around Ed and where Ed can see it, and actually allowed the guy to see him be "go suck eggs in hell"!Stede, Ed would be fucking losing his shit over how into Stede he is.

(There's a lot of chemistry between Ed and Stede, but in season 1 it's very sweet and gentle? I love Blackbonnet, but there's not a lot of crackle between them. I don't feel like they'll be ripping each other's clothes off in desperation, which is something I'd really like to see lmao. It's sweet, it's a cute first love that feels like it's between thirteen year olds, which makes sense because they're both experiencing love for the first time! Again, this isn't a bad thing, and I like it as an establishing moment for them, but they are grown men, and Ed has been flirting his ass off with Stede since the moment he met him trying to get that man to fuck him, and I hope that in season 2 the tension between them from Ed going Kraken and trying to kill Stede's crew, and Stede having bailed off on him, will allow in a sort of almost-lovers-to-adversaries-to-lovers pipeline that'll let them be crackly and show a physical and sexual side of their excellent chemistry.)

But Stede doesn't want to let Ed see that side of him because I imagine it never went down very well with Mary or the rest of the society he was meant to be a part of. Stede literally had two modes at the party, one was "tries to fit in, fails horribly" and the other was "goes full bitch and everything burns because of it", so I don't think his full bitch mode went well in the years before he met Ed, and also Ed was completely enamored with Stede just from knowing he 'passive aggression'-d the party guests into self-immolation.

So, I just imagine Izzy getting in a tizzy and he's yelling at Stede and Stede just lets rip and bitches right back, and Ed is looking between the two of them like "what." and afterwards, when Stede has established Ed was very turned on by him being an abrasive shit, he's just like, "You like it when I... act like Izzy?"

and the bottom falls out of Ed's entire world

Because I mean, yeah? You're telling me that Izzy wouldn't tell some pompous pirate who thinks he owns the place to tell his boss to go suck eggs in hell if some dude came along to demand Izzy go to his boss's ship? He absolutely would!

So then you have Stede realizing it's actually okay to not spend his entire life trying to be Sweet and Kind and Caring and Placid and Even-Tempered and Nice, that there's more to him than being nice.

And I would argue that a big downfall of Stede on that beach with Ed is that he thinks he has to be nice all the god damn time. You rewatch that scene as Ed is gushing about running away to China and how he'll go get a dinghy and they'll go and they'll be together. Stede's holding himself really tiny, almost childlike actually, and he's quiet and distracted and the best he can offer Ed in return to the idea of China is, "I think so?"

and to me that reads as someone who is not comfortable being honest about what he wants, needs and feels. Which ties right back in to your message in this ask about how Stede isn't honest with Ed, because it's true. I don't think it's Ed's fault Stede doesn't feel comfortable being honest about how he's feeling, mind, I think Stede is just... very used to being carried away by the currents? The biggest thing he ever did that wasn't that is something that hurt his family and nearly got him and half his crew killed (running away). In the flashbacks when he offers his hope of running away to sea up to Mary and she gets upset with him, his instinct is, "I'll get it stopped," and he may not have actually done that, but he said what he thought she wanted to hear, which was that he'd give that idea up.

Stede said he'd run away to China with Ed because he didn't feel comfortable admitting he didn't want that. Stede wants to be a pirate! He doesn't want to give the life up, he only just got the life he's been dreaming of and how he feels about Ed doesn't change that. More than that, he was already feeling fucked up over hurting so many people, including his family, and he already was thinking he should probably go home and try and fix the damage he caused. He loves Ed, I truly believe that, but he didn't want to run away to China. He wanted to sit on that beach with Ed for a while longer, then escape Privateering Academy and go back to the Revenge, or maybe go back to Barbados and fix his mistakes. He didn't want to go to China but he said he would anyway.

He's not dishonest, he doesn't seem to lie to Ed (or anyone, I've talked about this before), but he does put on a placid smile and stay nice and try not to hurt people with his words, probably because he's been hurt by words so much in his life, he doesn't want to perpetuate that further, and because he was raised to be placid and nice. His "I think so?" is probably him trying so fucking hard to be honest, but instead of his doubts coming out, all he manages is, "I think so?"

So Stede should be able to learn to not always be nice all the time, and then you have Ed realizing that ah, shit, he is into abrasiveness which, ah, is Izzy's calling card, and Izzy still just blinking because Stede met his fire and anger with his own (which must be quite something considering how rough Izzy can get, you tell me he wasn't getting a bit of something sizzly out of his encounters with Stede in 1x02 and 1x03. The way he growls out, "It's Izzy," is just. Mwah.) and that was kinda hot too.

and then there's just; communication time. Because Stede might not feel comfortable telling Ed what he's feeling, but he might just yell it at Izzy, who will happily also yell back, and yell his feelings at Ed, who often tells Stede his feelings.

So yes, that's quite a closed loop and I am into it anon. And also the way you framed it as Stede being on the outs with Ed and letting Izzy in because of it.

But also:

Izzy not sharing absolutely anything bc after the finale he doesn't trust anyone anymore much less Stede.

mm, yes, good soup. Someone in the tags of one of my posts said if they were Izzy they'd never speak again and that really stuck with me.

This response turned a bit rambly, I apologize for that, I just got talking I guess 😂

#ofmd #ofmd meta #izzy hands meta #edward teach meta #blackhands meta #steddyhands meta #blackbonnet meta #edward teach #steddyhands #blackhands #blackbonnet #izzy hands #stede bonnet #our flag means death #anonymous #ask

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canonizzyhours · 5 months

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Re: #49, #53, and probably a lot more.

Making Izzys Development Less of a Shock:

Izzy is protective of his crew and he doesn't see the Revenge crew as his until season 2. When Jim and Frenchie are crew, he protects them as well. I dont think he had a redemption arc, that shift mixed with the "bottle it up" logic of characters like Frenchie and the "we dont get apologies" logic of characters like Archie means they were comfortable enough with him to trauma bond.

Revenge Crew: when asked in s1 ep 4, Izzy tells Ed the plan is to treat the Revenge crew like every other ship they have taken by making them fix the ship and then killing them. He also tells the crew they dont get food when they have been invaded. So from his pov this is a normal day with normal-ish captives. We are never given reason to believe Ed ever tells him otherwise.

Blackbeard Crew: Our only look into how the Blackbeard crew see him comes from Fang and Ivan. In s1 ep2, we hear Ivan tell Fang he should tell Izzy he doesnt like it when Izzy pulls his beard, implying Ivan at least thinks that would be safe to do and maybe even result in it not happening again. In ep 4, Izzy is yelling at Ed about the 7 men they lost saving Stede. In ep5, we see Fang panic when he thinks Ed is about to catch him slacking off and letting Lucius sketch him, but when he finds out its Izzy he relaxes. In ep6, they both go to Izzy to question why they havent followed protocol and killed everyone yet. This shows a fairly open relationship with their first mate. From what we see, they are comfortable being honest with him and trust him enough to question plans.

He is a dick when he takes over as captain, but the tasks he has the Revenge crew doing seem to be sailing related and we dont see him punish anyone until Wee John disrespects him. Was it good and was he right? No. But the punishment isnt violent, he seems to be trying to force them into being "proper" pirates. Then he strands them on that island, but they were rescued and after seeing the trauma crew I'm guessing they were less angry about being stranded. It's also possible they blame Ed for that.

In season 2, Izzy is back to being the go between for Ed and the BB crew. Jim and Frenchie are part of his crew now and he isnt pretending to be captain, so hes less of a dick and more of a buffer from Blackbeard. They have noticed that Ed is taking his toes, but they all seem relatively unharmed physically, creating the beginnings of a trauma bond. They also feel comfortable enough with him to question orders. Then when Ed starts pointing a gun at them, Izzy says something to get the gun pointed at himself instead of them or Ed himself. Jim's "hes our dick" explanation also implies they know everything is better when the crew cares about eachother.

As soon as Izzy is seemingly out of the picture, Ed does everything he can to ensure they will all die in that storm. And tries to make Jim and Archie to fight to the death. But Izzy steps in again and stops Ed. This would strengthen the trauma bond even more.

From what I can tell, Jim, Frenchie, Archie, and Fang and also Lucius have been through to much to be bothered by someone being a dick. Lucius can still be snarky, but he has bigger problems. The BB crew watched Izzy take a bullet and get toes cut off voluntarily and continue to stand between them and Blackbeard.

The rest of the Revenge crew either have someone they love on that ship or, frankly, dont really care about Izzy. And Izzy hits rock bottom and accepts that this is his new crew, theoretically resulting in him treating them a bit better.

I assume the New Unicorn note is the BB crews idea. The rest just want the trauma group to calm down a bit so I can see them agreeing to any team building activity if it helps the others build trust again. When we see the leg being made Jim is covered in gold paint, Fang and Frenchie are putting the last nail in.

TLDR: you dont see a redemption arc because he didnt get one. It's just the perfect storm of him being slightly less of a dick, a few key characters trauma bonding with him, and the rest not really caring about him or getting screen time. From his side they are crew now so hes less of a dick.

I'm sorry if this reads like headcanons, I tried to put episodes in to explain but it's all from my memory and it is very late. I hope it helps make the beginning of s2 less of a shock for someone.

#59.