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#i shoud stop drawing so late
malanatero · 6 months
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Dangerous
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kittypunkd · 6 months
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i feel like doing another long post because i probably shoud
i have been feeling not epic for the last week or so because health issues are sprouting up again so i want to try my best to practice self care or whatever so i am making a post reminding or telling people that my birthday is tomorrow. i hope to get back to drawing nearly daily soon because i think itd probably help me with my issues lately and so i stop taking my art so seriously. i dont like talking about how i feel publicly often (im probably overbearing to my friends in private about it though) because i dont want to beg and pull for attention that i dont really need so dont expect it often from now on probably. however i enjoy talking publicly about random bullshit when i think i have something useful to say at least. i feel extremely selfish in saying this but i say it because i know its irrational to think that way - i do really hope my birthday goes alright. i really truly appreciate anyone who reaches out more than i can ever explain, but its alright if no one does. i am an adult and i will survive i promise
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astranne · 4 years
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The adventures of Diana Thorsdottir-Danvers -An AU
Another idea. But this is an AU to a twoshot I wrote some time ago on Wattpad. It’s in german, but I summon it for you. 
After Infinity War, Thor’s depressed and Carol helps him out. They both go to space, Brunhilde becomes the queen of New Asgard. Long story short, Thor and Carol come together, fight against Kree, have a child and because the universe is screwed up thanks to Thanos, she becomes pregnant, makes some timetravel without knowing it and gives birth to a girl. Diana Thorsdottir-Danvers. She has  the same powers like her parents, but because she’s half asgardian, her powers of her mother are even stronger than Carols. Anyway. Diana is a sweet girl, grows up faster because of Thanos and her being an asgardian. So she’s in her late teenage ages, when her parents fight against Thanos and she suddendly disapears. In my story on Wattpad, she lands on Olympus, meets all the gods and after some drama and all, she comes together with Apollo. Her parents find her again, meet the gods, Thor and Zeus try to kil each other, Carol steps in and yeah. Diana becomes then the wife of Apollo and such. 
Now. In this AU, everything happens the same, but when she disapears, she lands in the DC universe. She knows, it’s not her earth, bc of her smart suit (she has one like her mom (her colors are blue, red and silver, basically the same like Carol)) and she sees some heroes and villians, she’s pretty sure they are not on her earth. 
So, what to do now? She has no way to go home and has not the nerve to interact with this arrogant heroes, so she starts to write. (Yeah I know,she shoud be start searching a way hime, but she’s immortal, she has plenty of time) About Captain America, then her mother, and then the first appearance of the Avengers. She writes about the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., about Ultron, about Thanos. It takes something like one/two years until she wrote down the history (of the Avengers and all the other heroes) from her earth and then goes to a publishing company, who are mindblown. She wrote... wait a moment, I need to research all the movies and series- 35?40? books (movies with series, the whole mcu basically until infinity war) about a whole new universe, with whole new heroes. 
So, they start to publish the books and make three phases, like the MCU. While people read her books, she writes the final, endgame. And she calls it; Avengers Endgame, The End Of The Infinity Saga. 
People absolutly love her books, they are so realistic, even the heroes, they have mistakes and are just human, all the details match perfect with fantasy and what happend real. They absolutly love the different groups of heroes and also like it, that most of them don’t care about this ‘no killing’ rule. Because Diana was bored, she drawed the covers herself, the first movies (captain america 1, iron man 1, thor 1, black panther 1, spider-man 1, hulk, agents of shield first season, avengers 1 etc.) show the the upper body of the hero, without face. The sequels show more of the place where the book takes plase, Infinity War shows Thanos with the Infinity Stones and Endgame all the heroes against Thanos. In the books themself, she placed some doodles, while the characters do casual things or are in a fighting pose... and yeah.
Not even a year after the first release, Diana Danvers is famous and some filmproducer approach her, wanting to make movies. And there are only the books until the second phase released. Many fanarticles show up and Diana creates the firma MARVEL (breaking the fourth wall, heh) and makes millions in seconds. But she doesn’t really want’s this money, spends as much as she can and just uses the money she truly needs for herself and the company. People love her even more. And some hate her, but she doesn’t care.
She begins to write side stories, who still happen while the Infinity Saga, but are not that important. Now, she knew about the important things, since her mother is a part of S.H.I.E.L.D. and her father is important too. But what happend truly to Black Widow and Hawkeye? What did Captain America do, after S.H.I.E.L.D. has fallen? What did Thor do after New York? What happend to Loki, when he met Thanos? (Her fans absolutly love Loki and he becomes one of the most liked characters, after she writes, that he has been mind controlled)
Her fandom becomes bigger than the one of Percy Jackson, she’s close to Harry Potter. She broke some records and won many awards and after everything until Infinity War has been released, she was the most famous author of the world. (unrealistic, but do I care? nah not really) She solds more books than J.K. Rowling and even more await Endgame. When she announces, that the first movie is coming up (captain america), they loose their absolute shit. Because this is going to be fucking awesome. Diana herself writes the script, leads the casting and directs the movies. 
Now you certainly ask, but what about her home? Well, Diana clearly misses her parents, but that’s it. She doesn’t really have any friends, her whole life she fought with her parents against the Kree and other bad people, who tried to control other ones. She made her peace, that she’s now on another earth.
Anyway. She’s something like 23 years old, in the middle of writing Endgame, when she’s kidnapped by the Riddler. He asks her some riddels, admits he’s a great fan, while she just rolls her eyes. 
“Look, I’m in the middle of writing Endgame and I need every minute-” Riddler starts to apologize and releases her, asks for an autogram, while the whole world watched. Diana didn’t even need a hero, she just hugged the Riddler, told him he had some good Riddles, can she also tell one?
“What happend in Budapest?” The big fan Riddle is, naturally understands and thinks hard, until his eyes widden. 
“Are you writing it in Endgame? Or did you drop any hints and we don’t see the whole picture...” Riddle thinks hard and Diana just walks away.
The next time she’s kidnapped, it’s Joker. He’s much more serious about this whole thing and won’t release her so easily. Naturally the whole world watches again and can see, how she tells him to fuck off, because she has a time limit and she still needs some drawings. Joker snarls and slaps her, she just stares at him with blank eyes and spits in his face. He gaspes offended, grabs her hair and wants to yank her head back, but Diana headbutts him, stomps on his foot and slams her whole body against him. He definitly didn’t see that coming. Before anything more can happen, glass shatters and Batman comes to help. Or so he thinks. Because Diana keeps a groaning Joker on the ground, stares at him hatefully, hisses some cruses about him and how she needs to work. Batman just blinks, sighs and shuts the camera off. He helps her, knocks Joker unconscious. Diana thanks him and walks off. 
“If you would just kill him, then he wouldn’t cause such problems.” Batman blinks again, but the woman is already away. 
Her fans love her for kicking villain ass, being so sarcastic, almost cynical. Some villians try to kidnap her, but she becomes angrier every time. Because damn fucking gods, she’s trying to work, her book is going to be released in a month, the movie is in the middle of shooting and she doesn’t has the time for this shit. Her videos go viral, kicking male villians in the groin. Female villians don’t even try it, because first, they love her books and they would never hurt her. And second, they don’t want their ass kicked.  
After she’s caught in the middle of a gang war in Gotham (she’s there for some meeting) her partners/workers/assistants have enough. They force her to hire a bodyguard, because- No, Miss Danvers. You can’t march against the villains by yourself, you are still a civillian, let the heroes to their work. 
Because I love Jason Todd and he’s known as a bookworm, he becomes her bodyguard. He’s the head of security of Wayne Enterprises and Bruce rather likes the girl, he talked with her at a Gala and he wants her protected. Even if she doesn’t has black hair. But still does have blue eyes...
Anyway. Jason becomes her bodyguard and because she’s such an attraction for danger, he’s around her 24/7. They become close, he watches her work, while he ‘protects’ her and yeah. Some real cliché story about a rich girl, who falls in love with her bodyguard. ehm... I don’t care.
So, Endgame is released and is the most selled book from Diana. Her doodles became drawings, they are much more detailed and some even with colour. The fans finally know, how Diana sees her heroes and notice, they look like many known actors. 
“Well, some have to play my charakters, no? I saw their work, I have a good eye for these things.” Totally a thing Diana would do, cast actors for movies who are planned in the next few years. Not even asking them, because she knows, that they will do it. And then she announces, she’s going to be Captain Marvel, because Carol Danvers was inspired by her mother and she wants to honour her. The world loves it. The creator of this legendary books playing one of the most powerful charakters. 
Meanwhile, Jason became her assisstant/right hand and is still her bodyguard. He stops being Red Hood, because the Outlaws are just nothing and he had now not the nerve working together with his family. One day, Diana suddendly speaks up. 
“Why did you stop being Red Hood?” Jason jokes on his spite and looks at her shooked, but she just draws at her next cover. She finally writes about Budapest.
“What?”, he croakes out. 
“I asked you, why did you stop being Red Hood?”
“How?” Diana just raises an eyebrow. 
“It’s not that hard. I’m literally the creator of another group of heroes, where do you think I have my inspiration? And my father is a god, we have an eye for warriors.” Jason slowly progresses her words. 
“A god? What the fu-”
“Yeah. Thor, the god of thunder.” At his wide eyes, she talks further. 
“The asgardian with the hammer, you know-”
“You tell me, this whole thing you write is real? That Thor is your father and an Avenger?” Diana just smiles. 
“And Carol is my mother... where do you really think I have my inspiration? I’m not some genius, I just wrote down the stories my parents told me.” 
“So... there is another earth?”
“There are many earths... there is a multiverse. I’m just from a different universe.”
Jason definitly didn’t expect that. But is now even more interested in her stories. He’s the one, who tells her to become a hero. She becomes Tempestas, the partner of Red Hood. 
And yeah... this it is.
If anyone wants to write about this, feel free! Just tag me, so I can read and reblog it :)
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atlxolotl · 6 years
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I am an adult now, but I have never felt like one. I don't know what I'm going to do. I even feel more childish now than when I was in my late teens and I think that might be some sort of defense mechanism because I cannot ignore my adulthood anymore and I have literally no idea what to do with my life, I don't even know what I'm going to do next semester. I am lost.
Plus, I never got to have a normal childhood or a normal teenagerdom. I didn't have friends as a kid, not any long lasting ones, anyway. A few times I got kids to talk and play with me, but they would soon find someone better and leave me alone, and never talk to me again.
In high school, I stopped going to school for over two years (I think), studying at home, so I literally had ZERO human contact with anyone other than my family during that time. What should've been the time I experienced new things as a teenager, I spent home alone in front of a computer. In hindsight, studying online was one of the worst decisions in my life so far, not only because I completely isolated myself, but because of other important reasons. Had my parents gotten me help before they couldn't ignore it anymore, things might have been different.
I only got a little bit of contact with other teenagers in my very late teens. But that was brief and led to nothing, anyway.
I have no childhood friends, I have no high school friends.
I never got drunk, I never went to a high school party (nor to a college party so far), I never went to a night club, I never went to a sleepover, I never had a birthday party, I was never part of any club or team, I never had a best friend, I never even had a group of friends, I never ever even went to someone's house just to hang out, I never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, I never kissed anyone, I never had sex, I never had a date, I never danced with anyone, I have never smoked or tried any drugs or anything (not because I didn't want to, lmao, but because I had no one to get it for me, nor anyone to watch over me the first time I'd try it). I don't know, I never had any of the experiences you see people go through in movies and books. I never had a coming of age.
And even if I didn't have a movie-worthy experience... I shoud have had something, right?
But there's like a big gap, a big emptiness in my life, a big part of my life that was never lived, it's still brand new.
How can I be an adult when I didn't have a childhood nor a teenagerdoom. I have no experiences, there's nothing to look back to, there's nothing to draw knowledge from, there's no satisfaction, there's nothing. I look back and there's a life that was not lived. I don't know how to keep going, I don't even know where I'm coming from.
#e
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HITSUHINA DAY THEMES, DATE, AND RULES
THEMES
Here we are everyone! Using this random number generator, I had drawn the themes for Hitsuhina day.  For anyone who wants to see screencaps of the list and generated numbers, you can see them below the ‘keep reading’ (I’m trying to save space on this post). The six official themes are:
AU
Sky
Flowers
Fluff
Hair
Confession
DATE: May 26th
The general consensus seemed to be late May to early June. I went with May 26th because it’s a weekend and it’s a little more then a month away from the day I stopped collecting themes. I hope this date will be okay with most of you, I’m afraid I cannot please everyone.
I’m sure some of you would have wanted the day to be on Momo’s birthday, but I felt it should be kept seperate. As it is, I’m already thinking of running an event over on my Momo blog to celebrate her birthday.
RULES
Tag your submission/s with either ‘#hitsuhinaday’, ‘#hitsuhinaday2018’ or ‘#hitsuhina day 2018′ to be included in the event.
Submissions can include fanart, fanfiction, edits, metas, AMVs, gif sets,  and headcanons.
Submissions shoud include the name of the event (Hitsuhina Day) and the theme/s you are basing your submission on either in the description or author’s note.
Your submission should not be a tracing or copy of an existing artwork. Any entries that are will not be included  as part of Hitsuhina Day. As such, your submissions should an original work by you. For edits and AMVs, do not use fanart (unless it’s your own) as part of the submission.
Give credit where it is needed (such as a link and the OP’s name to a stock image or reference for drawings, or to photos for edits/aesthetic/mood boards).
You can create as many pieces as you want for any of the six themes.
You can also incorperate as many or as little themes as you want, just so long as you create a piece for at least 1 of the themes above. If you're up for a challenge, you can try to create one piece for each of the themes.
You must have your submission/s in on the 26th or 27th of May. I’m giving leeway here because of the different timezones. Essentially, make sure your pieces are up before the 12 am on 28th May.
If your piece contains mature content, please tag appropriately (and give a warning in the author’s note for fanfics).
You may include other characters in the pieces, but the focus should be Hitsuhina. Of course, this is a day to celebrate Hitsuhina, not to undermine or bash on other characters/pairings. Any submissions with this will not be included as part of the event.
On a side note, for those who were hoping that a particular theme would be drawn but wasn’t, you can always try to incorperate the theme you wanted into one of the official themes. For example, for those of you who wanted to do a piece for the ‘historical/time-travelling AU’ theme, you can still do a piece by doing something for the ‘AU’. Or if you were hoping to do something for the theme ‘parasol’, you can do something for the ‘sky’ theme and incorperate it there.
That’s all for now. I will keep you updated if anything changes, and also put up reminders at two weeks and one week from the event. If you have any questions, don’t hesistate to send them to me :D
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On the left is the list I pasted into Word, and on the right is the results of the random number generator. I wrote down the themes and shuffled them around using this and then pasted the results from there into Word and numbered them in the order they were shuffled. I’ve highlighted the first six numbers in the sequence given to me from the random number generator to show the chosen themes.
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it’s in your blood (it’s in your bones)
Fandom: One Piece Ship: ZoSan
When all that is left of Sanji is a dying cigarette and his blood drawing patterns on the ship deck, the chaos seems to quiet down. A small swirl of smoke escapes his cracked lips and he settles his eyes on the shaking silhouette casting its shadow on the main sail. It's the darkest hour of the night and yet he can see the ship with so much clarity—he wants to blame it on the full moon but the more blood he loses, the sharpest everything appears to him. It's like his eyes are defying him to dare watch the scene with a blurred vision.
Luffy and Chopper are stuck under a net which must be lined with seastone, since they haven't moved for the best part of the battle, likely unconscious. He can't see Usopp but he heard the thud of a body falling a while ago and he doesn't want to think about what that could imply. Nami was knocked out by the first wave of stones that where sent out their way. She seems fine, aside from the bruise on her temple where the stone hit her.
Robin, he's the most worried about. He had watched helplessly when they took her away, a seastone collar around her delicate neck. There was just too many fighters around him and he had no way to get to her before they disappeard on the other ship. And even if he had found a way, the second wave would have stopped him. At that point, Zoro and he were the last ones standing in the way of the attackers. Trying to escape the stones meant letting the ennemies get to Luffy and that wasn't an option.
As much as he trusts Zoro to watch his back, he knew that at the time the man just couldn't do it. He hadn't seen the boulder coming and when he turned around to kick it, it was too late. The massive rock shattered his leg in three places. The pain had made him stumble, almost gagging in shock. That was his second mistake. A second later, a dagger pierced his left shoulder from behind.
Sitting down became his only sensible course of action. Barely ten men were still fighting with Zoro, and they were quickly losing. Sanji hadn't been worried. He lit himself a cigarette and watched as his nakama did a swift job of getting rid of them. Until the smooth sound of blade leaving its sheat echoed in the night and they had to stare, livid, at the man who had put the dagger under Luffy's throat.
And now, when all that is left of Sanji is a dying cigarette and his blood slowly leaving his shivering body, the ship finds itself embraced in an almost peaceful atmosphere. Zoro is completely still but Sanji can see him shaking with a fury tainted of terror.
The man is panting, obviously still recovering from the fight where he had faked a mortal blow out of a long slash on his chest. Sanji watches in quiet horror as the man's captain comes back with a couple more seastone shakles and collars, Usopp on his shoulder. He quickly restrains Chopper before putting their sharpshooter on the floor.
"Good thinking, son," he praises.
"Thanks, cap'tain."
"Now, now. Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro and Black Leg Sanji, at my mercy. Not that I wasn't expecting my plan to work, but this is very nice indeed."
"Get away from Luffy," Zoro growls, still not moving.
"See, that won't be possible. What you're going to do, however, is to put two of your swords on the floor. Now."
When Zoro doesn't obey, the man nods slowly and his crewmate presses his blade closer, drawing a few beads of blood. Too fast for the eye to see, the swordsman drops Kitetsu and Yubashiri. The clattering sound rings in Sanji's ears.
"Good. I believe one sword should be enough to kill your nakama, right?"
The cook can see the blood leaving Zoro's face in a matter of seconds. He lets out a ragged breath. So that's the man's plan. He finds himself looking at the dark sky where millions of stars shine of the purest light, unaware of the tragedy under their watch. The captain raises an amused eyebrow.
"Do I need to repeat myself? Either you finish this one off, or my man slits your precious Strawhat's throat."
Zoro sends a panicked look in Sanji direction, before staring at the blade and getting back to looking at Sanji. The blond gritts his teeth and sits a bit straighter, before taking a deep breath. He's made peace with this life a long time ago, but it's another thing entirely to face death and accept that he's not going to make it. That he'll never find All Blue, and won't go back to Zeff to tell him all about it. God, the old man's going to be so pissed.
"Come on, marimo. Do it," he rasps. Zoro turns his head fast enough to cause himself whiplash.
"Shut up."
"You know he's serious. This crew can't loose its captain, but you can always find another cook."
"Shut. Up."
"Zoro—"
"SHUT UP!"
Sanji swallows around the man's name, so unused to speak it out loud. He's shivering, with more blood on his shirt than in his body, and he needs the marimo to act fast. The asshole threatening their crew doesn't look like a very patient man.
"You shoud listen to your nakama, Roronoa. Or should I give you a little incentive?"
"No! No, leave Luffy alone," coughs Sanji. "He's going to do it. Zoro, tell him."
The swordsman looks deeply sick, on the verge of throwing up, but he eventually nods.
"Y-yeah, I'll—" He has to pause, looking for air and the courage to say it. "I'll do it."
Sanji closes his eyes in relief. They're going to be okay. He has to believe that, if anything. But fuck, is he scared. He's not even twenty and his dream is so far away. He doesn't want to die.
"Zoro— Zoro, listen."
"Shut it, cook. I don't want to hear it."
"Listen," he continues, ignoring him. "When you find All Blue. I know you're going to find it, Nami is the best navigator there is. So when you find it, please take Zeff to see it if you can. And if not, bring him something from it. Hell, ask Usopp to draw a picture so he can hang it in his stupid restaurant."
"Do it yourself."
"Yeah, right," he snorts.
When he hears Zoro's footsteps getting closer, Sanji opens his eyes. He studies the other man's face and finds nothing but sheer determination. Good. He doesn't want Zoro to wallow in guilt for the rest of his life. The marimo has a dream to fulfill too and Sanji doesn't want to be the reason he can't achieve it.
"I'm sorry, Sanji."
He barely have a second to be astonished at the use of his name before Wadō slides in his chest like a knife through butter. He lowers his eyes until he can see their reflection in the sword. Zoro's breath is warm where it meets his cheek. He raises his eyes again and looks straight into the swordsman pupils.
"Go save our captain," he whispers.
Zoro doesn't nod but his jaw is set and he carefully wraps his hand around the hilt of the dagger Sanji just gave him. It's still sticky from his blood but no-one has seen him getting it out of his shoulder. And Zoro is very close to being the best swordsman in the world. The damage he can do with one little blade is incredible.
As incredible as his ability to stick his sword in a place that looks deadly but is instead slightly less dangerous. Just enough to be believable. A place carefully chosen, between his heart and ribs, where Chopper can easily remove it after Zoro frees him from the seastone collar.
Before he slips into unconsciousness, the swordsman kneels next to the infirmary bed and puts a hand on his uninjured shoulder.
"Hey, Sanji."
"Whaddya want."
"Don't take too long to get better. All Blue is waiting for you."
if you enjoyed, you can buy me a coffee or support it on AO3!
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