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droserapetals · 3 months

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Love em’ Toxic

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x (f!)reader

Synopsis: You end the long week of classes with a night out with your best friend, needing a distraction from your busy mind. You’ve been going through a rough and traumatic break up for the last couple weeks, so the break in your schedule is much needed. As you find yourself in a new part of town, you freeze at a familiar face. From that night on you are determined to prove to your ex (and yourself) how “fine” you are without him.

PSA- This is a LONG fic. I’m a whore for plot. You have been warned!

Content: MDNI, DUBCON, fingering, sub!reader, really rough sex, cervix fucking, mentions of pregnancy/impregnating reader, degradation, bondage, name calling (whore/slut), pet names (sweets/love/baby), jealousy, toxic!reader Toji and reader are in their 20’s (reader is in college)… can’t think of any others right now. Sorry if there’s errors! I’m too lazy to proof read this lol

It was a messy break up to say the least

You and Toji were together for two years, and during that time it was nothing short of an emotional roller coaster.

He would yell at you for showing too much skin when you would go out with friends, calling you a slut for attention. Not to mention any sort of male attention directed at you would result in a man wailing on the bar floor with a likely broken nose, and the both of you promptly kicked out of the bar by the owner. Come to think of it, you aren’t sure if there are any bars left that you are not banned from, on behalf of your hot headed ex.

And you would always find girls in his dms, thirsting after him and him letting it happen. When you would bring it up to him, he would dismiss your concerns saying it wasn’t a big deal, but you knew he was the kind of guy that loved the attention of other women, and deemed it okay because he wasn’t actually seeking these women out, therefore it wasn’t wrong in his eyes. Hypocritical if you say so yourself.

You felt yourself going crazy. You feel like you gave him so many chances, so many days where you were patient with him, only for another red flag to spring up, waving directly in your face preventing you from ignoring it.

However, the raw physical attraction between you two was so intense, it kept you reeling into him for more, creating this toxic cycle.

After many nights of crying yourself to sleep, of doubting yourself, you had enough and decided to rip off the band aid, breaking up with him for good.

You can imagine how well that went. It ended with him shouting out your front door that you’ll never find anyone like him and that you are over exaggerating the severity of your guy’s problems. You held firm though and slammed the door in his face, proceeding to block him on every form of social media.

You felt heartbroken, but mostly hopeful after that day. Excited to see what the future will bring for you after this closed chapter in your life.

So why can’t you stop thinking about him?

It’s the worst in the middle of the night, when your tossing and turning trying to feel the warm embrace of sleep take hold of you, when you hear his voice.

“That’s it baby. Say my name louder, I wanna hear it fall from those pretty lips of yours again.”

He’s dragging two of his fingers lazily in and out of you, curling in scissoring in the spots he know will have you mewling in pleasure.

“Yes-haah, Toji. That feels s-so good!” You moan out, bucking your hips into his thick fingers.

He smirks down at you and leans in to lick a stripe up your neck, sucking at the spot in between your jaw and throat, causing you to shiver uncontrollably. Your hands find the back of his head, tugging at the soft strands of hair there.

“Do you like when I have control over you like this? You don’t have to answer that, she’s doing the talking for you.”

He nods down to you pussy, squelching with each thrust of his hand, making the most sinful noises echo off the walls.

Your face flushes at his words, but you feel too good to care. Mind clouded with lust. Instead, you fling your head back into your pillows and let the pleasure consume you whole.

His pace quickens at that, moving at a speed that is making you see stars. Your eyes roll into the back of your head.

Right as you feel your orgasm approaching, you meet the thrusts of his hand quicker. Moaning louder in confirmation.

“You gonna come f’me dirty girl? Make a mess all over my fingers?” He pants out, eyes glazed over at the sight of your beautiful form riding his hand so well.

You furrow your brows and nod frantically, feeling the impending release approaching you at full force.

“Good girl, you just need to do one thing for me.” He whispers in your ear. The low growl in his voice making you whimper.

“I need you to wake up, love.”

You pause for a second and look up at him, confusion etched in your fingers.

“Wha-…”

“WAKE UP Y/N” someone is shaking you, causing your eyes to snap open and sit up from your bed, head spinning from the quick movements. You feel them back away as your vision begins to focus, adjusting to the person in your room.

“You were out like a light, I thought I was going to have to send a marching band in here to wake you up!” Your friend let’s out an obnoxious cackle at that, seeming to note that idea for another day with a hand on their chin.

Shooting dagger her way, you roll your eyes and clear your throat, hoping your face wasn’t too flushed from your quite interesting dream you were having a second ago. After your breakup with Toji you decided to move in with one of your close friends from college. It was perfect actually. She was looking for someone to fill the extra room in her flat, and you were more than eager to fulfill that role. You push yourself on the palms of your hands until the back of you hits your headboard, running your hands through your hair.

“What do you need, Nobara?” You grumble, voice still laced with sleep.

“Well, I didn’t want you to sleep the whole weekend away…” she crosses her arms while arching a brow at you, “and I thought we could maybe do some shopping together for a little… excursion later this evening.” She smirks, wiggling her eyebrows at you.

You’ve taken your breakup overall pretty well, but your friend knows you and how much of a hold Toji had on you, so she’s been a little more attentive than usual with you. Walking with you to your guy’s classes together, having movie nights every Thursday, and even running errands together. She really was a one and a million friend, and you were grateful to have her in your life.

“What did you have in mind?” You fold your arms over your chest, curious but not surprised with her ongoing antics.

“I say we walk around some shops at the outlets for a bit, grab coffee so I can say hi to that tasty barista that is always working there at this time,” you raise an eyebrow at that, but let her continue, “THEN, we can go to that new club that everyone on campus has been talking about tonight!” She’s jumping up and down at that, giddy being an understatement of her actions.

You ponder the idea. you haven’t been out at a club since well before your break up, the thought not even crossing your mind till now.

You friend waits for you to answer, almost vibrating the floor with her excitement.

You can’t help but to giggle at your goofy friend. You get up at that, and start to rummage through your dresser drawer.

“Well let me brush my teeth and get changed first,” you grumble.

You worry that your neighbors might’ve called animal control from how loud Nobara squealed at your answer.

————————————————————————

After an oat milk latte and long shopping spree later, you are in your bathroom touching up your makeup and adjusting your newly purchased outfit in the mirror, getting ready for your girls night out.

Once you finish up you makeup just the way you like it, you give yourself a quick final once over, taking in your look.

Your hair was done in a half up half down look, some strands of hair let out to frame your face. The dress itself, was stunning. It was a deep fig color that shimmered in the right lighting, complimenting your complexion perfectly. Under that were some sheer black tights, and a pair of black kitten heels to tie it all together.

You looked sultry, classy, and sexy all in one.

You would’ve never chose this outfit for yourself if Nobara hadn’t been there hyping you up in the dressing room saying, “this dress fits you in all the right places” and “you better get this if you know what’s good for you”. You chuckle at the flashback. Making a mental note to thank her later. Because looking at yourself now, you can’t even lie. You look tasty as fuck.

————————————————————————

It’s 10p.m. now as you and Nobara exit your Uber to find yourselves in the heart of the city's nightlife, a couple buildings over, a sultry club beckons with its alluring aura.

You have heard of this club from others before, but have never been because of its high status and reputation, and deemed it an unobtainable feat to accomplish securing a reservation this high of caliber.

You both start walking to the front of the long line of the club, it’s entrance bathed in soft red neon lights. You can already hear the pulsating beat of music reverberating through the air, and into your chest. As you both make your way to the front towards the bouncer standing guard at the door, heels clacking on the concrete, you can’t help but notice in your periphery the many annoyed faces and grumbles of frustration from the people waiting in line for who knows how long.

“What are we doing, shouldn’t we get in line-“ you hiss in Nobaras ear as she drags you by you arm to the entrance, having a look of unbridled determination on her features.

“Fuck that, we’re young and hot, let’s use that to our advantage for once.” She smirks over her shoulder at you, causing you to roll your eyes with a hint of a smirk on your features.

Once you make it to the bouncer, you friend does the talking, giving her best clueless expression at the man in front of you two.

“Sorry to bother you, handsome. Our friend is waiting for us inside ordering drinks right now. They said it wouldn’t be a problem if we just met em inside…” she twirls a finger around a strand of hair as she batts her eyelashes up at him, waiting for his response.

He looks at you both up and down amused, but with a tinge of hunger in his eyes, most likely covered up by false professionalism for the sake of his job. You try not to scoff or squirm under his stare as his eyes briefly land on yours for a split second. In that moment you weren’t sure if your friend’s fabricated story worked or not. It was a clumsy one at that. You bite your lip in anticipation.

Not a moment later he gives you both a kurt nod and lifts up the rope, allowing you two to pass through into the main entrance. After getting out of view, you can’t help but to gawk at your friend at the fact that her plan actually worked. She looks back at you with slight surprise gleaming in her eyes as well, but that quickly became replaced with a wide grin on her features as you both make your way to the bar, arms linked together.

“I’m not even sure he believed that,” you laugh as you both sit down on a couple stools, quickly giving your drink orders to the bartender who skillfully begins to make quick work on both of your drinks.

That is when you finally glance around the room.

The air is thick with the faint smell of smoke, and a musk of cologne and perfume as bodies sway and grind to the seductive rhythm of the music, creating a hypnotic dance that mirrors the pulsating beats. Soft, dim lighting casts a sensuous glow, revealing the contours of flushed faces and glistening skin. The dance floor becomes an intimate space where desire and movement entwine, and the bar, adorned with mirrored accents, reflects the seductive energy that permeates the atmosphere. It's a scene drenched in allure, where the music becomes a shared heartbeat, and every glance exchanged carries the promise of untold stories.

You, with a lack of experience in this type of scenery, find yourself oddly at home with this crowd of people. Fitting in like an unknowingly lost puzzle piece. Your lips tug up in a small smile at that.

At that moment the song changes and you are met with one of your favorite songs gracing your eardrums. You and Nobara both make eye contact at the same time, squealing, grabbing each others hand and using you other to snatch your drinks of the counter, and make your way onto the dance floor.

Little do you know, leaning against a particularly dark wall of the building, a pair of predatory green eyes settle on your periphery, gleaming in the dim lighting.

You find yourself getting lost in the music, caressing your body up and down swaying to the rhythm. You were already starting to feel buzzed from your drink, now empty, discarded on an unoccupied table. You have always been a lightweight, but you are also pretty sure that the drinks here were extra strong, adding to your growing confidence.

Before you know it Nobara is being whisked away from you by a good looking man, not before she gives you a look that clearly asks if this is okay. You smirk and wave her off, wanting her to have as much fun tonight as possible.

As you turn back around scanning the area, you freeze a little in place. Over in one of the private seating areas you make eye contact with a familiar face.

There Toji is, legs spread cockily in the booth he resided in, arms resting on the top ledge of the seats as he leers over at you with a smirk playing on his features.

He’s not alone though. Two women in scantily clad attire are on either side of him, rubbing his chest and giggling at something he said. Clearly intoxicated themselves.

You surprisingly don’t feel as distraught as you may have guessed at the sight. Mostly just smoldering anger and disgust.

You then look away, but not before you see his eyes flicker into an expression you don’t recognize as you make your way into the dance floor once again. You scan your surroundings and find a man sitting by himself, already noticing you early in the night when you entered the place. You can tell by the way the man squirms in his chair that he is enamored by you. You let a slight smirk play on your lips as you walk up to him, hips swaying as you do so.

He noticeably gulps and tugs at his collar as you lean over him. Hands resting on either of his armrests caging him in. God you were buzzed.

Toji is seething in rage at the sight before him. Your breath ghosts against the stranger’s ear as you whisper something way out of his earshot. The man fidgets in his seat and nods, causing you to let out a wide grin as he gets up and walks with you back onto the dance floor.

Another one of your favorite songs starts playing, causing you to press up against the man’s back, grinding softly against him to the beat in perfect rhythm.

The man (you quickly find out is named Yuuji) slides his hands down your body, gaining courage himself, grabbing your waist with one and the other ghosting over your rib cage.

You softly keen into his touch as one of your hands reaches up to fist into his hair, bringing his head down to nibble on your neck.

Your eyes glaze over as you stare at Toji, mouth parted open in bliss that quickly turns into a smirk as you see him lean forward, causing the girls by him to jump, as he stares back at you. Gripping the table in front of him enough to snap it in half.

Fueling you further, you break the eye contact to turn around, facing Yuuji now. The movement giving him better access to your neck as his hands travel down to rest on the small of your back, dragging slow circles with his thumbs around the flesh.

You whimper in his ear causing him to groan in reply.

“You are… unreal,” he breathes into your neck. Causing a faint blush to form on your cheeks as he worships your body on the dance floor.

You notice his eagerness escalating when you feel something poke into your lower belly, causing you to snap back to reality slightly. You weren’t ready to hook up with someone else, even though Yuuji seemed like a sweet guy. You still need time to get over your ex (that is currently sitting in a void of darkness while watching your every movement) so you kindly excuse yourself to the bathroom, giving him a polite and shy smile, scurrying away, leaving him with an uncomfortable hard on on the dance floor.

You eventually find the restrooms, opening the door and quickly shutting it behind you as your back rests against the door with a huff. With a quick scan of your surroundings you realize the bathroom is empty, thank god.

What am I doing? You ask yourself, making your way to the sink and staring at your features, casted in a red glow from the light overhead. You don’t know what has came over you. You swear Toji brings out the literal worst in you. No wonder why you two are split up. Your fists clench around the counter, glaring in your reflection as you think back to the scene you saw outside just a second ago.

He was always shaming you for being a slut while you were together and not even two weeks after your separation, you catch him here with two bimbos fawning over him and copping a feel? You scoff and shake your head, reaching into your purse to re apply more of your lip gloss, leaning forward a little to get a better look.

Too focused on the task at hand, you don’t notice someone entering the bathroom until you hear the music getting louder for a moment before the door closes, muffling the sound again.

What does peak your interest is the sound of metal sliding then clicking, indicating someone has locked it.

You pause what you’re doing and look past your reflection at the pair of eyes that have narrowed in on your plump lips, then slowly dragging back over to your face. Realizing who it was, you gasp faintly and stand up straighter, tugging your dress down subconsciously.

“The fuck was that?” Toji growls as he inches closer to you, causing you to tremble slightly in fear.

You reign your emotions in check, and scoff at him, not even bothering to look back at him as you apply your shimmery gloss.

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m just enjoying my night out.” you state matter of factly.

“You think you can just parade around like a common whore in that tight dress of yours and feel up whoever you want now that we’re not together?” He is seething now. Seeming to visualize earlier’s endeavors quite clearly still.

“I’m wearing a lot more than those tramps you had dangling off your shoulders a second ago.” You state coldly. “I see you’re still on your high horse thinking you’re better than everyone else.”

His mouth curls up in a silent snarl as he closes the distance between you two, his hard chest pressing into your back as your hips bite into the counter. You wince slightly at the contact.

“You keep your dirty mouth shut if you know what’s good for you,” he hisses. Leaning down so his hot breath is fanning against the shell of your ear.

“You are mine. No matter what. You can be delusional and convince yourself that we are not right for each other, but I find myself to be quite convincing.”

You shudder as you feel his hand graze up your inner thigh, stopping just before brushing against your clothed cunt.

“Hm. Already wet for me huh? And I barely even touched you,” he smiles harshly at your flushed expression in the mirror, his other hand gripping your hip in a vice. Stilling your movements. You know you couldn’t get away if you even tried.

“That is from the guy on the dance floor earlier-” you gasp.

Quicker than anything you’ve seen before, Toji’s giant hand is around your throat, his body pushing you over the counter as his other hand rips your tights and underwear off in one swift motion and then plunges two fingers into you without warning.

You bite your lip but a squeak escapes your mouth as you start to feel light headed. Partly from the stinging pleasure of your walls being stretched so suddenly and partly from his bruising grip on your jugular.

Toji notices and loosens his grip slightly.

“Nuh-uh. Don’t want you passing out on me. I want you to be awake and aware for what I’m about to do to you.” He chuckles darkly as he thrusts his fingers in and out of you teasingly, pausing every now and then to curl or make a scissoring motion.

Right when the pain molds into heated pleasure, he withdraws his fingers from you, bringing his fingers up to inspect, glistening with your juices.

You wiggle in his grip as he brings his fingers to your mouth.

“Suck,” he orders.

You turn you head to the side but his hand around you neck moves to your jaw to turn it back towards him, forcing your mouth to open and plunging his fingers inside.

“Lick them clean for me, slut. And if you even think of biting I will go a lot less easy on you.” He warns, eyes daring you to even try.

You slowly drag your tongue over his digits and suck on his fingers as you taste yourself, glaring at him through hooded eyes.

“Good girl,” he muses. A feline like grin spreading over his features. He then uses that hand to reach down between you two, and you hear the sound of his belt buckle loosening and his zipper opening up.

“N-no,” you whimper. Trying to gasp out the word over your constricted airways. Even though the thought of him barreling into you right now made you weak just thinking about it, you knew that if you two fucked, you would be roped in to his toxic cycle once again. And you were doing so good, you didn’t want that.

“What’s that sweetness? Can’t hear ya.” He chuckles darkly. Dragging his leaking tip over your drenched folds.

Your thighs quiver at the sensation. Eyes locking with his as he slams himself into you without warning.

You let out a high pitched scream that he quickly silences by wrapping his belt around your mouth, securing it around your head.

You had no choice but to bite into the leather and roll your eyes into the back of your head as he slams into you at a brutal pace. Only able to hear your muffled wails and the sound of skin slapping echoing off the bathroom walls.

“Shit, she feels tighter than before. Need to get this pussy molded to my cock again,” He grunts, putting you in a firm headlock as he holds the strap of his belt around your head, causing you to drool around the leather.

His eyes flicker to yours as his gaze deepens in rage. “You nasty bitch. Trying to make me jealous by feeling up the first guy you saw out there? Well look where that got you now.” He growls in your ear, biting your earlobe.

You could barely hold yourself up, your hands gripping his biceps and digging into the flesh there. He groans at the sensation.

He doesn’t let up. The stinging pain almost fueling him further as his length slams into your walls, nudging your cervix with every stroke.

You start to feel you orgasm barreling at you with full force, your walls starting to clench around his cock causing him to thrust into you shallower, hitting that spot inside you that has you seeing stars.

“Cumming already sweets? How cute. Missed daddy’s cock that much huh?” He leans back to get a better view of your ass, fully exposed from your dress riding up at his menstruations. The hand that is behind your head, fisting the leather belt pushes you down so that your face is smushed onto the counter, smearing your tears and makeup on the surface along with it.

His other hand palms your ass, then gives it a harsh smack, causing you to let out a long moan as your orgasm crashes down on you, sending waves of pleasure over your body.

He uses the belt to yank you up so that he could watch you come undone. Chest pressed against your back as he slides your dress down your torso, exposing your bouncing tits to him in the reflection of the mirror. He slows down his movements slightly to take you in better.

Your tears and drool made a mess of your makeup. Mascara was running down your cheeks as a light sheen of sweat covered your whole body from the exhaustion.

“What a pretty thing. None of these girls compare to you, you know. Not in the slightest.” His hand grazes your cheek almost lovingly, causing your to whimper at the contact. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

His pace quickens once again and you feel his cock throbbing at his impending release. Your eyes widen as you realize that he has no intentions of pulling out of you.

“Gonna fill this pretty pussy up with my cum, yeah? Gon’ put a kid in you so you never leave me again,” he’s babbling to himself. Completely loosing his mind in pleasure. His thrusts become sloppy indicating how close he is. Then he gives out a final sharp thrust as he stills inside you, sheathing himself as deep as he can go, throwing his head back with a groan as his warm seed spills inside of you.

It doesn’t seem to end. You feel your stomach swell slightly as he fills you up, leaning down as he lazily drags his tongue over the length of your neck, the salty sweat coating his tastebuds.

Eventually he pulls out of you with a pop, and drops to his knees, inspecting the damage. Some of his cum begins to trickle out of your quivering hole, but he’s quick to scoop it up with his pointer and middle finger to sheathe it back inside you, not letting any of it go to waste.

You are still panting, cheek resting on the cool counter as he removes the belt from your mouth and tugs his slacks back on, buttoning them up.

“Don’t think you can get rid of me that easily,” he says with a sneer. “I’ll be seeing you very soon.”

At that he unlocks the door and slips out without a word, leaving you in a mess of fluids and sweat. Legs quivering slightly as they try to hold you up.

#jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #tw: dubcon #jjk x reader #smut #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji smut #jjk x you #rough kink

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daniswoso · 5 months

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Short sight.

Leah Williamson x Reader.

Warnings: Angst, breakup, reader overthinking, reader breaks up with leah, online hate, overthinking, anxiety, self doubt.

Summary: In which you can’t see that you’re perfect for Leah like she says you are after a social media post gets negative attention.

*******

“Y/N, what the fuck are you on about?” Leah asked, incredulous. She couldn’t believe you were breaking up with her, she thought you were happy. She thought things between you were good! And better yet, she had allowed herself to actually fall in love again, to believe that she was allowed to be loved.

Well, that all went to shit, didn’t it?

“Leah, I’m sorry. I love you, you know I do. I just-“

“Just what, Y/N?!”

“I’m not right for you!” You finally snapped, tears streaming down your cheeks as you looked at her. She looked back at you as though she had been burned. It broke your heart more and more with every second longer you looked at the crease in her eyebrow deepen.

“Y/N, what? What do you mean ‘not right for you’?” She asked, her voice was softer than it was before, clearly she held some semblance of guilt for yelling.

“I’m sorry, Leah.” And with that you were out the door, your bag planted firmly on your shoulder.

She briefly considered chasing after you, but realised it was no use, you were already driving off in your BMW (A/N: im a bmw girl, sue me.) and leaving your relationship behind. But why?

She never did figure it out, not even a week later.

She had hardly left the house, much to chagrin of Katie and Beth who had been trying to make plans with her for the past 3 days. None of them knew, it’s not like Leah could tell them without there being a massive row, especially since Beth no matter how well she knew you from national teams, would always back Leah. And Katie… Well she bullied you enough on derby days, as you played for the blues of London, and Leah shuddered to think what she’d do to you if she actually had a valid reason to.

Meanwhile you weren’t much better off, having been crying in Sam Kerr’s lap for the past week. Which is where you still were now, Kristie rubbing your knee gently as you laid with your head in Sam’s lap.

“Sweetie, you never actually told us why you and Leah broke up.” Kristie pressed, tilting your head so you’d look at her. You sighed and sniffed, wiping your tears and lifting your head from Sam’s lap.

“There… We posted a picture. Of us at the beach. And it was a hard launch, I guess? She was kissing my cheek in it, all lovey dovey like.” You started, both of them silent showing support and patiently waiting for you to explain.

“And the comments were all just talking about how she could do better. I- I didn’t think much of it, y’know? Just thought it was another bellend on the internet, but then it was all the comments were filled with. I started to believe it.” You shrugged, picking at your nails, leaning forward. The two older women exchanged a worried look over your head.

“Y/N, Leah adored you. She wouldn’t have given you up for the world. And also she could never do better! You’re the best damn player on our team, minus me, and she’s lucky to ever have had you!” Sam insisted, her voice firm, but playful.

You chuckled, shaking your head.

“Maybe.”

Things with Leah were going much less smooth than they were going for you. She hadn’t left the house in days, skipping two training sessions in favour of wracking her brain desperately trying to find out what you meant.

Then it twigged. She found the post, scrolling through the comments.

“Oh, Y/N… You fucking idiot.” She breathed out, pressing her contacts list, finding your name and allowing her thumb to hover over the call button.

*******

A/N: Im evil, i know i know. BUT! p2? 👀

#woso #football #woso imagine #woso x reader #futbol #woso fanfics #writer is not english #footy #angst #futból #breakup #leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson x y/n #leah williamson x you

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imyourbratzdoll · 1 year

Text

𝒖𝒏𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅

this is the more extended version of my unwanted drabble, thank you to @jessybarnes for some of the ideas. I hope you all enjoy.

summary - steve tricked you before kidnapping you, leaving you locked away in the basement as you begin to mess with his mind.

warning - angst, mentions of killing, mentions of sadness, mentions of being trapped.

the gif and headers I use aren't mine.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

“What? You want me to meow or something?”

Steve sat there shocked, staring at you with wonder. It’s as if you had no care and weren’t freaking out like others. He stares into your eyes, seeing nothing there, and his head tilts as he looks at you. “No..?” He looks confused, wondering. “How do you feel?”

“I don’t.” You state, turning your head back to the wall and staring at it. You miss how his eyebrows shoot up. “So… When are you going to kill me?” You pick at your nails, continuing to feel stupid for thinking someone like him would actually want you. You turn your head when you don’t hear a response and tilt your head as he stares at you, confused. “That’s why you tricked me, right? To kill me, you didn’t exactly pretend to like me, drug me, and tie me up in your basement because you’re madly in love with me, and that’s the only way you thought you could get me.”

“You’re not afraid? Why aren’t you screaming, crying or swearing at me?” He’s so confused, getting closer to you, kneeling before you as he looks into your eyes. “Why is there nothing? You’re so empty.”

You blink, staring at him blankly. “If you don’t mind, ‘Steve’. I would like not to talk and for you to just get to the point.” You move away from him, crawling up the bed and lying on your back as you stare at the ceiling. “I’ll be here… Waiting patiently for my death. Not like I have anywhere to go.”

You let out a sigh when he left the room, one side of your mind begging for him to stay and the other staying quiet. You couldn’t let yourself fall for his stupid face again, and you didn’t want to beg someone to love you. You wanted that to come naturally. But you don’t think that will ever happen because… You were you, and people didn’t like what they saw.

Steve was curious, and you were like a puzzle to him. He had never met anyone so void of emotion and missed the woman he met. You seemed so happy and carefree, sure. He did notice that you were more closed off and didn’t seem to let him so close. He wanted to change that. He needed some sort of reaction, some sort of emotion. How can you be so calm during all this? Steve left you alone for a while, barely acknowledging the other women locked up, barely acknowledging his wife and kids, or the women he promised dates to. You were occupying his mind, and it was driving him crazy. He had destroyed most of the upstairs, trying anything to get you out of his head. He couldn’t take it. The look in your eyes, your words, it was all getting to him.

Steve remembered your dates and how you told him about the books you used to write. He recalled that you said it was the only thing that made you genuinely feel something, and an idea sparked. Steve gathered a notebook, some pens, and some food and water before making his way down to the basement. He knocks on the door before sliding it open and smiling at you. “I brought you something that I think you’ll enjoy.” You continue to stare at the wall, your eyes tired. Steve sighs, softly walking over and placing the items before you. “I’m trusting you with these pens, but if you do something—”

“You’ll what? Kill me?” You scoff, eyes slowly moving to connect with his. “That was already your plan, and this would make the killing go faster.” You roll your eyes, barely looking at the things he placed before you. “Did you need anything else? Because I’d rather you just hurry this along.” Your head turns again, ignoring him because what was the point of giving him any more attention?

“Why are you behaving like this? I bought you some of the things I remember you talked about. You should at least feel happy?” Your head falls back as you let out a laugh, startling Steve, who stares at you as if you’ve grown three heads. “What? What’s so funny?!” Why wouldn’t you just submit?! Why were you so different from the others?! It bewildered Steve how you could sit so emotionless and then laugh as if he had said something funny.

“You. Do you think giving me a notebook and pens would suddenly make me happy? Did you not stop to think that you are the problem? I have already come to terms with the fact that no one will ever love me, that you only pretended so you could kidnap me and kill me. So why aren’t you killing me?! Why are you taking your sweet time?!” You snap, struggling against the chains as you stand and move toward Steve, punching his chest. “Kill me! Kill me, goddammit!” You scream, your eyes are still emotionless, yet your words hold so much power.

Steve holds your wrists, stopping you from hitting him. He stares down at you, wondering why his heart clenches like this. “No.” He moves away, needing to get out of this room and get away from you as you make his head fuzzy. He watches as you stare at him in disbelief.

“So, what… I’m not good enough to love and not good enough to kill either?” You sink back onto the bed, your eyes staring at the wall as you realise you will never be good enough for anything or anyone. Steve quickly leaves the room, going through the house, destroying more things on the way. How could you get into his head like this? No one else had done it, so why were you so different?

You sat there, staring at the untouched notebook before slowly reaching for it, and as you grabbed the pen, the words began to flow out of you and onto the page. Everything you felt deep inside was coming out through stories. Not feeling in the mood to eat or drink, you spend most of the day and night writing. As many more days pass, Steve comes in and out with more gifts and food. You continued to ignore him, not knowing how to react, waiting for him to decide when it was your time to die finally. But the day never came. You think a month had passed, but you weren’t so sure. Steve walked into your room, undoing the chains and holding out his hand. “C’mon. I’ve prepared us some dinner.” You stare at him warily before slowly standing and following him. He leads you to the kitchen and pulls out the chair for you.

“Why am I out here?” You sit, tapping the table, watching him place the food onto the plates, not daring to touch it as Steve sits across from you.

“I’ve come to realise something, and at first, it scared me. You’re different from the rest.” You scoff, rolling your eyes. “I’m serious. Do you know how confusing this is for me? You’ve taken over my mind, and I can’t focus on anything else.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry that I’ve stopped you from tricking other women into believing you love them.” Your eyes roll again, leaning back into the chair. “Do you need a tissue?” You pick up the napkin beside your plate, offering it out to him.

Steve stares at you blankly, his eye twitching as he’s stuck between wanting to strangle you and make love to you. “No, I do not need a tissue. I’m trying to tell you that I feel something for you.” He’s startled again as you laugh.

“You feel something for me?” You feel tears prick your eyes as you continue to laugh. “Oh, god. That’s probably the funniest thing I’ve heard. I think you are delusional.” You shake your head, and your laughter slowly dies down. Your eyes connect with him, and you stare. “You’ve already got me here. You don’t need to keep lying to make yourself feel better.” You continue to tap on the table. “So… When am I going to die?”

“You aren’t. I’m keeping you alive.”

“Oh, great. Fantastic. Sounds so fun to be alive and kept locked away in a basement for the rest of my life. Good plan.” You give a little clap and throw him a fake smile. But deep down, your stomach twisted, and your heart dropped. This was worse than waiting to die. Now you would be locked away, unloved, and eventually wither away. Your expression on the outside stayed void of any emotion.

“No, you will stay up here. With me.”

You wished you had never even gone to that stupid market. You wished you had never believed Steve’s stupid words or smile. How could you be so stupid to believe someone would ever choose you?

You were unwanted.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

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thelastharbinger · 2 years

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I’m already seeing male reactors get very verbally defensive about that scene in She-Hulk where Jennifer describes how, simply as a woman, she has more experience in suppressing rage than Banner because speaking out will get you labelled “hysterical”, “emotional”, “difficult”, “too much of a feminist”, the list goes on. And if you snap back at the wrong cat-caller, you can get murdered. So now mcu bros are rushing at the opportunity to cry out “this is just another ‘marvel throwing in another woke scene for woke’s sake’. But like...it isn’t untrue. Comic nerds are all for female superhero protagonists until she, god forbids, talks about the dynamics of what it’s like to live within the confines of patriarchy.

MCU fans are always clamoring for the social commentary to be more “subtle” and not so “in-your-face”, just so they can mindlessly enjoy a punchy fighty show and not have to confront any real-world intersections with racism, misogyny, xenophobia, transphobia, all the -isms and -phobias you can imagine. Additionally, even when the social criticisms are embedded into the story, the conflicts are routinely either overlooked or watered-down and discussed at the individual-level as if these are just isolated incidents and not reflective of larger phenomena. Dudebros forget that superhero comic media, from the very beginning, has always been political. A lot of the mainstream characters we know and love today were created in response to the anti-war and peace movements during the seventies in the United States (this is also not to say that there isn’t some definite war propaganda and Red Scare-inspired comics out there either).

Comics are teaching grounds for morality, human good, and bad, power, greed, corruption. Comics have been about the social commentary from the get-go. The idea that the government (and by extent society at large) is villainizing and surveilling a specific minority group who carry varying physical and genetic traits contrasting to that of the “ideal national subject” because of a perceived inherent aggression or difference based on their physical attributes *ahem ahem mutants*...where do you think they got that from?

I literally sat through a dude being like “IN MY EXPERIENCE AS A MAN, THAT IS NEVER THE CASE! IF A WOMAN GETS UPSET AND MAKES A SCENE IN PUBLIC, THE MAN ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE THE BAD GUY BECAUSE IT IS ASSUMED HE DID SOMETHING WRONG. MEN ARE THE ONES WHO CAN NEVER BE ANGRY.” (Obviously for Black men, my argument is different because when Black men express rage, they are viewed as a threat or turned into spectacle, but the person who made this rant was not a Black man, nor was he factoring race into his argument). As if masculinity and gratuitous violence have not become nearly synonymous. When male celebrities are accused of beating their partners, fans run to their defense to say “well she shouldn’t have provoked him.” When Will Smith slapped Chris Rock, the internet rooted for a televised boxing match between the actors/comedians. We all watched the Trump and Hillary debates right, where his belligerent behavior was coddled while she had to maintain composure?

We’ve collectively grown up watching male newscasters, talk show hosts, and reporters make jokes about angry women in sports, in the media or in news reports being on their periods, as a way to minimize the stressful and abusive circumstances, or people, women are subjected to. The world expects women to react to harassment with class and elegance; women’s anger, Black women especially, is never not mitigated. For male fans to come away from that scene wanting to eye roll is why the commentary is so “in-your-face” because a lot of y’all still don’t get it! Men are still finding ways to make women’s issues about them and the “loss” of their rights. In a world where Brock Turners are able to walk free, are you really trying to argue against this scene? Really? What else do you expect out of a series whose main character is AN ATTORNEY? Y’all are just not going to enjoy this series then, as per usual.

#if you're wondering who the youtuber in question is it is jaby koay from the channel #getjaby #he also has another channel but im not trying to promote his shit #he does reactions to loads of things but i literally want to beat his ass everytime he opens his mouth to make some social hot take bc #you might as well be talking to fucking ricky gervais #he gives major centrist vibes nd he's so fucking condescending nd will jump at any opportunity to mansplain things to his female co-reactor #he's like i'm woke but only to a certain point #anyways fuck dudebros #also are we gonna act like this she hulk scene is more shoe-horned in than that scene in endgame? let's be real #just say you hate hearing about any issues that affects anyone ever who isn't a white man #she hulk #she-hulk #marvel #mcu #mcu rant #tatiana maslany #jennifer walters #hulk #bruce banner #reactors

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earthtoharlow · 1 year

Text

Previous Chapter

SERIES MASTERLIST

THESHADEROOM

liked by 975,085 users

theshaderoom: Look who’s back! #Y/NY/L does her first interview since leaving social media for over a year! Y/N talks about becoming a mother and dating #Drake and ex #JackHarlow

“Sometimes, I look in the mirror in the mornings and just say to myself “Oh my God! Bitch you’re someone’s mother!” It’s hard work, but I love every part of it. “

Y/L continues “it doesn’t feel like work though, having Ariel has made me look at the world with a new set of eyes. This sounds spiritual, but I really do feel born again.”

The rapper/model couldn’t hide the smile on her face when asked about Drake!

“Aubrey, brings me so much peace. After everything that happened in my last relationship, the idea of a new relationship was out of the question. Starting a family with him has made me finally understand why it didn’t work out with anyone else. He was always meant to be the one for me.”

Additionally, Y/N reflects on her past relationship with Rapper Jack Harlow.

“I’ll be honest, the day his Vogue feature came out. I immediately called him. What people don’t understand is that I was with him for 2 years, we were planning our whole lives together. I won’t go into details about our conversation but after that I sat back, watched, and cried while letting them have their moment. Which hurt a lot but I’m grateful for it because now I’m with the person I’m supposed to be with.” Click the link in our bio to read more!

view all 14,689 comments

user: aw I’m really so happy for her

user: something seems fishy about them idk

user: see how y/n can do an interview and not talk shit about Jack Harlow?! Even though he deserves it!!

user: Drake can’t keep a women so they’ll be broken up soon

user: I know Jack and all his baby mamas shaking and crying

user: no wonder Stacey is jealous of Y/N

user: she’s so mature because if my ex was slamming my name in interviews I would raise hell!!!

user: she seems to be in such a great place mentally!

user: damn she’s really a mother

THATGIRLSTACEY

liked by jackharlow, haileybieber, kimkardashian, justineskye, chrissyteigen, oliviaculpo, neelamthadhani and 783,529 others

thatgirlstacey: that look when bitches can’t keep your husband name out their mouth

view all 5674 comments

user: girl, you need to be worried about if Jack had another baby on you

haileybieber: 🤦🏼‍♀️ tell me about it

user: yeah y/n is weird

user: so y’all can talk about her but she can’t?

user: y/n didn’t say anything bad about you or your relationship

user: you lucky y/n didn’t drag tf outta you both

kimkardashian: sending you love 💕

user: ok enough about y/n girl you look good af

user: bitches stay jealous

jackharlow: love running their mouth 🙄

user: you ain’t broken up with him yet?!!

user: you won, you got the man! Leave y/n alone

JACKHARLOWSOURCE

liked by 5,790 users

jackharlowsource: Jack Harlow and Stacey James-Harlow at the “White Men Can’t Jump” movie premiere!

view all 635 comments

user: my parents

user: damn sorry to hear that

user: they’re so cuuuute!

user: Glad to see they’re still together! I was getting worried especially with reports saying they separated!

user: she’ll never leave that man, same tbh

user: he was never that happy with Y/n

user: goals

CHAMPAGNEPAPI

Liked by yourinsta, icespice, partynextdoor, chubbsview, Beyoncé,SZA, urbanwyatt, druski, and 1,425,116 others

champagnepapi: I would clear a whole town for you 🤞

view all 836 comments

celeb: that’s twin!

celeb: love y’all!

celeb: now when something happens in Kentucky we know who did it 🤣

yourinsta: don’t play bout mine 💕

celeb: wipe that white boy like a snotty!

celeb: yeah they need ass beat

YOURINSTA

liked by selenagomez, saweetie, dojacat, sza, summerwalker, urbanwyatt, flomillishit, 1dessdior and 678,367 others

yourinsta: For him it’s whatever with whoever 🤞

view all 8,457 comments

saweetie: I know that’s right bby!

user: goals

user: yeah fuck Jack and his wife!!

selenagomez: 💕💕💕

user: love seeing you so happy

user: between Drake’s post and this one, I think Jack about to get touched 😵‍💫

SZA: 🤭 kill bill

TMZ_TV

liked by 996,468 users

tmz_tv: Details are scarce, but according to a report on Hollywood Unlocked Jack Harlow was celebrating the release of the White Men Can’t Jump reboot when he was punched in the face.

According to a source, the celebrity-filled after party was going well until Jack Harlow reportedly acted rudely towards wife Stacey James for unknown reasons.

A few guest tried to intervene but the situation got worse. He was confronted about his behavior to his wife and mother of his child.

The source told Hollywood Unlocked that a physical altercation occurred between the guest with Harlow leaving with a “bloodied nose."

view all 13,678 comments

user: HOLY SHIT

user: ovo crew definitely jumped him

user: deserved

user: imagine getting jumped in front of your family I’d cry

user: drake said he’d spin bout y/n and he meant that

user: I think this is just karma

user: what a dick

user: omg can someone check and see if he’s okay

—————————————————————————-

AN: damn that’s crazy 🤪 I’ve missed toxic Jack so much so I wrote this up! Next part of this AU series probably won’t be up until Father’s Day because we still have to find out if Jack had another baby 😳 so much drama

Tag List:

(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @toocriticalharlow @mace23477 @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby @itsyagirljaz @leftapricotprofessorlover @laylasbunbunny @ilyangelsxo @comehomeimissyou @minkookie95 @harlowcomehome @jackharloww

#jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow reader #social media au #jack harlow instagram au #jack harlow #toxic

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l0verf0rever · 9 months

Note

can we get a like angst/ fluff with jude where they are broken up but both still love eachother and just thought it would be better for them tk break up. then they like both see eachother in Mykonos and have a one night stand but neither want it to be a one night stand and have like a little heart tk heart when they see eachother out the next day. 🫶🏻

𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙪𝙥 | 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝘽𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙝𝙖𝙢

{ Social Media Au! | Jude Bellingham x Reader }

Angst, Smut, Fluff

Masterlist

Current

3 Months Ago you’re Boyfriend Broke up with you

Stalking each other story and it usually goes to nowhere scared to talk to each other but both still asking how each is doing through friends

Friend arguing about how the girl He’s linked with looks like you haven’t really found anyone wishing at least to be on speaking terms

they advice you to get out there so You can find Someone they brougnt you to Greece to party and get drunk and have ‘great sex’

Greece , Mykonos.

User1: Bro jude fumbled this girl?

Replied User2: Real 🤡 moments

User3: hope they get back together i can feel it

Replied User4: me when im delulu

User1: isn’t He’s ex at mykonos too?

Replied User2: manifest~~~

User2: i miss Y/n and Him

Replied User3: Real

User4:He looks so good

User5: Not him getting too used to pretty women when Y/n Is literally won awards and well respected athlete 😔 gotta keep these guys in check

Replied User6:if she can get broken up with we can too😭😭😔😔🥲

you miss him in a way you two spent time together curled out together in You’re own two worlds during vacations

Remembering the things he said still hurts in a way nowadays stalking each others stories and leading to nowhere hoping he’ll talk to you

Crying you’re self to sleep trying to keep yourself together seeing pictures of him everything felt so confusing questioning yourself why’d you even bother going here just to see him again? Relive the heart ache? Feeling like the foolish one

[Tomorrow came and the morning left it was night you never ever felt ready ]

You felt like no one knew you look at him with Another girl chugging another drink while she has him the bitter taste down you’re throat

you’re friend whispered “hey isn’t he judes teammate? I think you should talk to him he’s been looking at you from the start” you walk to him almost tripping

“are you okay?” He catches you on time he’s charming smile He’s hand on you’re hip enjoying each others company

you smile “ you’re performance was really good its like not tennis at this point” complimenting each others skills “you watch my Matches?” You asked “yeah actually my little sister looks up to you “ he smiled looking at you’re eyes sparkles “i forgot my name was Alexander just call me alex”

Judes eyes could pierce through the skin he felt a sense of jealousy looking across the room cause he miss you missed each others kiss those girls cant give what you had with him cant remake the feelings you both had and sure ass hell Alex can’t

You were at the bar alone alex left and felt someones hand holding you’re wrist dragging you to He’s room “Jude stop what are you doing?” He still doesn’t budge “jude stop “

Leading you in Hes room hes face near yours “you have a girls leave me alone ” He locks the door

“we aren’t even a thing please do this so we can call it even” You do still miss him “fine” He started to making out with you Missed this holding hes hands holding your body He’s hands removing you’re dress leaving you just in you’re bra and panties he ruins you’re make up and making Hickeys on each other and till both of you reach you’re highs

“I love you know that right?” Hes eyes on you as the sun rises “i know i miss you” He carried you bridal style to clean you Fell asleep

woke up to an empty bedroom feeling disappointed that you let him get you easily it hurts to have something everything felt sad without him you see He’s text

“ Meet me at the boat “ Hes devilishy handsome looks as you walked to him felt nervous “i want you i don’t want to be a another night stand i don’t want anyone else just you” its everything you ever wanted happened

User1: WAR IS OVERRR

User2: 🫶🫶🫶

You’re hands on he’s hair both of you blush being at each others arms again for forever and always.

THE END.

I Kinda struggled writing this and i don’t think this is my best but and i really like this concept actually and i listen to multiple songs for inspiration and hopefully you guys like it thank you for reading.🫶

#social media au #jude bellingham x you #football x y/n #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham fanfic #football x reader #football smut #football x you #football au #football social media au #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham fluff #l0verf0rever #jude bellingham angst #jude bellingham #football #soccer

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moonandris · 4 months

Text

Omg, I actually did it! I finally joined a queer dating/friendship app!!! EEEEEEK!!! I'm sooooo nervous!!! I literally have almost no queer friends IRL so I don't have anyone to get excited with me!! 🥳

One of my New Year's resolutions for 2024 was to put myself out in the world more and try my best to be more social, meet new friends (as well as potentially find a partner), and explore all my passions, hobbies, and interests with like-minded people.

As a very shy bisexual woman, it's so hard to meet other queer people, especially when you live in a more conservative area. So when I joined a queer dating/friendship app I was was SO surprised to see how many other lesbian/bi women were located near me.

Also, for some reason I've always had this super toxic thought in my head that queer women wouldn't be attracted to me because of the fact that I'm S U P ER femme/girly and I think I look very 'straight' to the average person assessing me. Trust me when I say I was genuinely SHOCKED at the matches I was getting like??? Why did I think such terrible things about myself and my sexuality? I feel really silly for thinking that and I've realized that I have a lot of inner work to do regarding my sexuality and self-worth.

This is honestly such a new, exciting experience for me and was so healing for my mind and mental health to just be able to communicate and talk with other queer women. I know this isn't writing related but it's really not something I can share with other people or on my other social media (yet) so I knew I had to make this post bc I'm just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!

It honestly makes me wanna cry a little. It's a very emotional feeling and also feels so freeing to just BE MYSELF and not have to hide my queerness or be afraid that someone is going to find out I'm bisexual and act really awful/disgusted towards me, you know?

Regardless of whether I find a partner or make new friends and whatnot, I'm super proud of myself that I'm not denying this part of myself anymore. I'm exploring my sexuality with people who know what it's like to be queer in this crazy world we live in. It's a really awesome feeling. 💕💕💕💕

Anyways, if you've made it this far thank you so much for reading this silly lil post and wish me good luck! Happy New Year!! 🎊

#faye speaks #faye's personal posts #not writing related #bisexuality #bisexual feels #i'm very nervous but also very excited #i'm just so happy that i can FINALLY explore this side of myself in such a positive way #if you're queer i KNOW you KNOW this struggle lmao #this was/is SUCH a healing experience too #sorry for making this silly little post #but thank you for reading

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cybrpwup · 1 year

Text

ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ || ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʀᴇᴀᴄᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴇʟꜰʜᴀʀᴍ

Warnings [DO NOT IGNORE!!]: heavy topics: self harm [cutting, burning, hitting, disordered eating] Summary: how the boys would react to your self harm Requested?; no !

## Isaacwhy <3

Isaac felt stupid for not noticing Y/n’s self harm tendencies before

He noticed it way before even realizing it was self harm

He’d catch her punching, hitting, or pulling her own hair out when stressed

He was concerned for her.

Even before he knew about the things she did behind closed doors.

But he never said anything to her

Blood dripped onto the floor, and her quiet sobs muffled the pillow she was holding against her face.

“Yo, Y/n, Nick wants to know if-“

His voice got closer, and Y/n’s breath sped up as he opened the door.

He’d seen her

He saw.

“What are you doing?”

He knew.

She was frozen expect for the tears that were rolling down her cheeks

He kneeled down next to the girl

“Y/n. There was no reason for this. Why?” He said, confused and angry that she’d done this to herself

“I’m sorry.” She managed to get out

Isaac then got back up, going into the bathroom cabinet for some bandages and a cloth.

He’d put the cloth under warm water, and then kneeled again, dabbing the wound with the cloth, gently.

“Don’t be sorry. don’t cry.”

He grabbed ahold of her chin and tilted her head to look at him

“I get you’re scared and upset, but there’s no need for this. I can help you. I want to help you.”

He was gentle as he bandaged her arm.

He didn’t quite understand why she would do this, but he tried to understand.

His first priority was her — his girlfriend

“I - I know I’m just- I’m tired, Isaac.” She sobbed.

He pulled her into his arms, his touch was warm and reassuring

He managed to get her up and onto the bed.

“I’m so fucking tired.”

He let her sob into his chest, her cries being muffled out

He did his best to calm her down

She’d been crying so hard her throat began to hurt, and she could barely breathe.

Isaac laid down next to her and rubbed her back.

“Hey, you’re okay.” He cooed

“You’ll be okay.”

He wrapped his arms around her without saying a word, letting her talk when she felt like it.

## softwilly/Nick <3

While it was fun for Nick to angrily defend himself when someone commented about his weight, it was not in truth something he cared about. As long as he had skin to keep his organs in and bones to hold the skin up, that was all that mattered to him.

It was Isaac who first pointed out that his girlfriend might not see it the same. Nick was not observant, but following that conversation, he tried a little harder, and he noticed some things.

Y/N refused to get changed in the same room as him or wear clothes that fit her properly. She also twice blew up at him for changing dinner plans as if it were his fault the restaurant was closed or too busy to seat them.

When Nick's hands fit easily around every body part, he caught on.

He'd catch her checking her stomach in every reflective surface and he could visibly see her ribcage.

When his hands fit so perfectly around her waist that’s when he really got concerned.

“You’re not eating as much as you should.” And there it was out in the open. Nick did not have time to even think how best to approach the topic before his concern overrode his rationale and took control of his mouth – spilling the words out messily.

She’d just shrugged, denying all claims of her eating habits.

“Baby, your waist is so small…”

She’d pulled her shirt down and pushed Nick's hand away.

She tried to tell him she was just working out, however he knew this was a lie.

She’d have at least some sort of muscle definition at this point

“Look at you, Nick. Look at your friends! Attractive, successful social media influencers. I’m not dumb. Ok? I know the type of women who get with guys like you – they’re graceful, camera-ready goddesses. They’re not fat.”

The last word broke off in her mouth and shattered against the floor. Tears sprung to her eyes, and she was quick to turn from Nick and wipe them with the back of her hand. All the while, her set jaw, and tense muscles worked to maintain her previous unfalteringly stern expression.

All Nick could muster amidst his bewilderment was a meek, “You’re not fat.”

“I know. Why do you think that is?”

“You don’t understand. You’re noticeably thinner. It’s enough that people are asking me if you’re alright. A quarter of the comments on the last video you were in are accusing me of like forcing diet pills down your throat or other bullshit. Even Tanner and Isaac and them have brought it up.”

It took another few moments for either to speak as it seemed the subject was dropped altogether.

The solemn silence between them broke

“I’m breaking up with you,” Nick said.

His hard-hitting gaze coaxed a temporary softness from Y/N. Her shoulders relaxed, even turning inward, a hesitant smile on her lips as she searched his face for the joke.

“That’s not funny.”

“I’m serious. If you refuse to get better, to even try, then I’m not going to be there while you make yourself worse.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Sure, I do. Bye, Y/N.”

Nick left the house angry

Y/N: alright, I get it, v dramatic. You made your point

…

Y/N: this is so stupid!

Y/N: don’t be a dick. text me back.

…

Y/N: you’re serious? All this over what 3kgs???

Y/N: Fuck you!! I don’t care I’ll go out by myself!

…

Y/N: answer the phone. Coward.

…

Y/N: must be hard to ghost me on every platform

…

Y/N: ok I get it

Y/N: isn’t 72hours a fair punishment? come by so we can make up.

Y/N: answer the phone.

…

Y/N: Nick, I get it. I’m not alright

Y/N: I’m sorry, Answer the phone, and we can talk, please!

…

Y/N: I need help

Y/N: I’ve made an appointment with a psychiatrist.

Y/N: she specializes in eating disorders.

Nick: When’s the appointment?

Y/N: Thursday @ 11

Nick: I’ll be at yours with the uber at 10. I’m sorry too.

## Tanner/Big T <3

It was Saturday.

Tanner was having trouble focusing on the beautiful woman snuggled up in his arms with her legs tangled with his. Nor could he concentrate on the film his laptop set up near them was playing. No. His mind was elsewhere – not that that was terribly unusual – thinking about one thing in particular: a thirteen-word (give or take) comment left under his most recent video.

“why does Y/N seem so nervous?? she pulls at her sleeves at 1:15 3:22 5:01 8:13 9:43 AND 9:59”

Tanner had not noticed Y/N being nervous in the video.

She sounded the same to him as she always had. Maybe it was odd she was wearing a hoodie when it was in the mid-to-high twenties all week but it was not that unusual – right?

Looking down at her, Tanner did not think she looked different or acted differently.

She was Y/N. In a hoodie. Pushing the sleeves down every time she shifted positions.

Or else he could see red marks on her arms.

Huh.

He watched her another moment. Sure enough, several open-ended oval marks were peeking out under her cuffs.

Tanner’s eyes fluttered to Y/N’s face and her hair.

She had two barrettes pulling her hair back, but beyond keeping it out of her face, their designs were chosen to match her outfit.

“What are you looking at?” she giggled, smiling at him.

Without a word, he reached for her hair and snatched a barrette, then in almost a single swooping motion pinned the accessory to the exposed skin of her wrist.

Perfectly matching the shapes – matching the burn marks.

“These are—”

With a strong but not unkind or rough grip, he took both of her wrists in his hands and pulled them forward so both of her arms were exposed.

She’d pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth as a wave of fresh hot humiliation washed over her

Each of her scars were laid out for him to see

She ducked her head down and braced for the oncoming string of harsh remarks

But they never came.

She clenched her jaw and tried to keep the tears from rolling down her face, but they did, and she almost felt betrayed by your body.

“I'm.. sorry," she managed to get out.

"No, you have nothing to apologise for," Tanner assured

"I hate this," She said as her sobs slowly started to trail off.

"I know, baby, I know. Me too," he replied.

Tanners actions were so gentle and full of love.

He gently kissed each scar and pulled her sleeves back down.

"It's ok, baby," he told her, pulling her into his arms again. "We will fight this, I promise."

"It's hard," she muttered into his chest.

"I know, I'm not saying it isn't.”

One day Tanner approached Y/n

"You know, when it all gets too much and you get that urge, you can hold an ice cube until it melts or wear a hair-tie or elastic band around your wrist and snap it against yourself."

"Tanner, have you been looking that up?" She asked him, wondering where this knowledge had come from.

"Maybe," he replied, sheepishly. "You're my main baby girl, I've gotta do what I can to protect you, even if its from yourself."

She couldn't help but giggle at his words. "Thank you. That means so much,"

Squeezing her tightly, he placed a kiss on the top of her head, knowing that for now there were no more words needed.

## Yumi <3

Yumi had walked in on Y/n after a session one time

hellooo, Y/n?” Yumi called, knocking on her door. “you there?”

She forgot about Yumi.

“Y/n?” he said, his voice slightly muffled through the door.

She stood upright, panic flowing through her veins.

“Blake? i’m sorry, i slept in!” She blurted

She sprinted into the bathroom, almost knocking the door down as she shakily removed any evidence of her prior activities.

“love? are you okay?” he said, his voice laced with concern.

“yes, i’m fine!”

the stains wouldn’t budge, where was the hydrogen peroxide?

“i’m coming in, okay?” Yumi said, making her rub the stains even more aggressively than before.

She pushed the bottle of blades to the back of the medicine cabinet, wiping the blood stains from the sink.

She needed to clean it— if Yumi saw…

“love?” Yumi said. he stood in the doorframe of the bathroom, eyeing the girls figure closely.

She looked up slightly and stared at him back through the mirror.

Yumi walked closer to her, wrapping his arms around her stomach and peeling her away from the sink. his breath was caught in his throat when he saw the blood.

“i had a bloody nose.”

The smile she wore to convince him did not reassure him

Yumi hummed, spinning her around to get a better look at her face.

He held her arms gently, as if the slightest bit of pressure would make her body break.

Still, the feeling of her sleeves pressing farther into the cuts made her wince.

Yumi was alarmed by this, looking into her eyes before looking down to her arms.

“love?”

She avoided his concerned gaze, moving to stare at the door instead.

His eyes widened when he saw the crimson red stains that littered her arms, where the blood soaked through the thin clothing.

Yumi let go of her arms hastily, covering his mouth with his hands.

She’d wrapped her arms around her stomach, backing away from him.

“i won’t force you to show me what’s under your sleeves… but i can’t help you if i can’t see them.” Yumi said carefully.

She nodded.

He wasn’t angry

Her heart pounded so loudly in her chest

“please don’t be mad..”

She winced when the fabric pulled at her wounds, the clotting blood having fused with the clothing.

bloody, wide, gory cuts littered her arms.

A broken gasp left Yumi’s lips once her arms were finally bared in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” she choked on the words.

Clinging to his shoulders, she let out a sob as she felt his body trembling. “Oh god, Blake, I’m sorry!”

He didn’t speak.

He couldn’t speak

He sat her down and rummaged through her medicine cabinet until he found what he needed.

Wordlessly, he tended to her wounds.

Although his touch was as gentle as possible, it still hurt when he cleaned them.

Her soft hisses of pain sent him over the edge and his tears finally began to fall.

He ignored them however, choosing instead to focus on the female and doing everything that he could to minimize her discomfort.

He wasn’t the type to cry so Y/n couldn’t help the guilt that flooded her.

Yumi had noticed the blank look in her eyes and knelt in front of her.

He held her tight as if she would slip away if he didn’t.

The warmth of his touch pierced through the haze that surrounded her.

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs reassuringly. “Just hold onto me.”

He deposited her gently onto the soft sheets of her bed before climbing in beside her.

His arms wrapped around her and pulled her close against his body

Brushing the hair away from the back of her neck, he pressed feather-soft kisses over the skin there.

“We’ll call a therapist in the morning,” the man says. “For now, you should get some rest.”

As much as she wanted to simply fall asleep, she hesitated. There was a worry still lingering in the back of her mind

“Blake? You… you aren’t going to leave me, right?”

The arms around her tightened as he let out a soft growl at the suggestion.

“Never,” he promised

“I’ll always be here for you, Y/n. I love you more than anything else.”

His words echoed in her mind over and over again as she finally fell asleep.

## Larry Croft <3

When Larry found out he rushed out of the room in a hurry

Y/n had thought it was too much for him so he’d left

She didn’t blame him

She found herself pathetic, too

But when he returned with a box of assorted bandaids,

Star Wars, SpongeBob, hello kitty themes etc.

She couldn’t help but laugh

Every time he’d put a bandaid on her arm he’d kiss it and reassure her

When they laid down together, he’d run her fingers up and down her arm, over the cuts that scarred.

or he’d give light pecks to the scars, which always made her heart flutter

“Y/n, please don’t hurt yourself.”

And she didn’t just for him

## Grunk <3

Y/n’s hands shook, running over several white and pink lines that marked the skin right above her knee.

She pressed her fist to her forehead, exhaling shakily as an unwelcome tear slipped its way down her cheek.

The marks were old, but they hadn't gone away, and each accidental glance at them brought back a wave of unwelcome memories.

She curled her legs into her chest and buried her face in her knees, waiting for Grunk to come back and distract her from her thoughts.

"Hey, I'm back!" Grunk jogged into the room, stopping suddenly when he saw the girls curled up position.

“Y/n?" His grin slipped into a look of concern as he ran over to her.

"Y/n, are you okay?"

She looked up at him, face slick with tears.

"I- I’m" she couldn't find her voice.

She shoved out her leg, shakily pointing at the scars.

"Oh," he said softly, gently running his fingers over the indentations.

He didn’t quite know how he should react

He was just a kid after all and she couldn’t help but feel guilty for getting him involved

"When are these from?"

“Long time ago," she whispered. "I know they're old but when I look at them I just - " she swallowed, shaking her head.

"I know."

Grunk pulled her into his chest, stroking her hair.

"I know, baby, I know." He’d kissed her head.

“Hey."

He pulled away, tilting her head up.

"I know how hard it is to look at them. But you know what? They're a sign. They're a sign of how far you've come, and how strong you've gotten, because even though you were once in such a low place you felt you had to do that, you're still here, and you're still thriving. I'm proud of you, Y/n, I'm so, so proud of you."

She let out a sob and buried her face in his neck. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too. I love you so much."

## John/Kryoz <3

John had asked to see her cuts.

He didn’t stop to think about what reaction that could elicit

He regret saying it after he did

But she showed him her wounds/scars

He insisted on cleaning them up and bandaging them

He was very confused and concerned.

He'd heard about stuff like this but hadn’t really experienced it first-hand

He tried to take her feelings and mental state into consideration, but his brain was sometimes a little foggy with slight panic and confusion.

"Have you told anyone about this? i think you should get some help."

Again, it was a little difficult for him to find soothing words, and he spoke bluntly

He encouraged her to find help

He always makes sure to tell her he cares, albeit awkwardly.

He does care, but he isn't great with feelings. he just really doesn't like the idea of his Y/n doing something like that

Afterwards, he’d try to be more conscious of her and her state.

He could get a little frustrated sometimes, especially if she found herself in an episode or relapsing.

He wasn’t angry at her.

He was just confused on why and lets it turn into anger

He felt angry that she was hurting like that,

and John being the problem solver he is, sometimes he let his logical and moral side take over.

So he’d ask for help or look up ways he could help her

he's trying!!!

—

Self harm/suicide services

Call, Text, or Chat with Canada's Crisis Services Canada

Call, Email, or Visit the UK's Samaritans

Text CHAT to America’s Crisis Text Line at 741741.

Eating Disorder Helplines

UK: 0808 801 0677

USA: 800.931.2237

Canada: 1-866-NEDIC-20

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jusalle · 1 year

Text

Ochoa Imagine

•I don't deserve you•

You were a professional soccor player and you played for the womens mexico team. You played as forward which was an important role. You've always felt pressured because you always kinda have to be the best and make goals or else people will just hate you.

Right now your playing against Germany and they had a good team which means this game was going to be difficult. Right now it's the 55th minute and it's still 0-0.

You kept getting so close to making a goal but it never goes in. Now your started to get frustrated and your team keeps getting injured so you have alot of stress.

At the 78th minute you got a penalty. You knew you needed the penalty. Your palms were all sweating and you were shaking. You decide to just go for it.

You kick

And the goalkeeper blocks it.

And it's rare that you miss a penalty

You could already feel like you let alot of people down, just from that penalty

You already know the press will be all over you after that penalty and social media will talk about it for days. Then they will judge how bad I did.

You still had hopes you or your teammates would make a goal sooner or later. So you kept trying.

Around the 89th minutes. Your teamate scored and the game ended. It was 1-0, you were happy you guys had won but you knew you could've done better and people will give you shit about it.

You just wanted to go home and be with your husband.

Your husband was Guillermo Ochoa or well known as Memo Ochoa. He's a goalkeeper for Mexico. And you might be wondering why he didn't come to the game. Ochoa had practice and he couldn't miss it and you understood but he's probably home by now and you just wanted to be in his arms.

You left the field and went into the lockeroom and took a quick shower and got changed and left in a hurry, not wanting to deal with people giving you bullshit.

You got into the car and started driving home and thinking about how you could've done so much better.

You decided to check your phone and wanted to see if Ochoa texted you.

You grabbed your phone and saw all the notifications about your penalty. Notifications either by Instagram, news or anything talking about your penalty. You saw some of the things said about the penalty.

"What a joke, she's the worst player of all time"

"Disgrace to the Mexico team"

"Kick her off"

You just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

You put down your phone and focused on the road. All those things said about you kept replaying in your head. You simply couldn't get them out. You felt so weak, and things got into your head so easily and you hated that.

Your head started to hurt from holding back tears and you simply just couldn't take it. So you just let it all out while driving home.

You finally got home and parked and shut off the car. You wiped your tears, you didn't want your husband worring about you. He already had enough on his plate as it is.

You get out the car and open the door.

"Amor is that you?" You heard your husband say

Usually you always awnser Guillermo but you were so tired you didn't want even speak.

You took off you coat and shoes and walked to the kitchen where Guillermo was at.

"Amor I made us some dinn-" Your husband stopped talking once he turned around and saw your face

"Were you crying Bébe?"

Once he said that, tears just started flowing

Guillermo came up to your and hugged you. You hugged him back just wanting to be in his arms. Then he starts whispering in your ear

"Amor calm down please"

"Amor everything will be okay"

" Shh, it's okay Y/n, I'm here"

Then now you guys moved to the couch and you finally stop crying and relaxed into your husband's arms.

"You wanna talk about it Amor?"

"I missed a penalty today in the game. You know its rare if I miss. The press and social media are already talking shit about it and talking how bad I am. I've could've so much better Guillermo. What if I'm really that bad at soccor?. People already hate me and saying I'm a disgrace to the Mexico team and how do you even love me Guillermo. Everyone else hates me so why shouldn't you and-"

"Amor stop talking. Do you even hear yourself right now?. Don't listen to the stupid press, they always act like they they do better than you. Your the best player I know, you do not suck and you shouldn't listen to those damn people on social media, they are just jealous of you. Lastly, I love you and I would never hate you Amor. Please never say that again."

"I will always love you forever and never forget that Amor. I love you with my whole heart"

Guillermo takes my hand kisses my hand then to my forehead then lastly on my lips.

"I'm sorry Amor"

Guillermo is always so gentle with me. He always knows what to do whenever I'm sad. He always knows exactly what to do in every situation. Also always there for me and cares for me.

We both got up from the couch and decided to eat together.

Then after that we decided to go to bed since it's been a long day for the both of us. As soon Guillermo touches the bed he falls asleep so fast and you chuckle at this.

" You are too good for me Guillermo"

"I don't deserve you Amor"

••••

Helloo! I hope you guys liked this one and I'll probably be posting another one tomorrow. ALSO brazil is playing south Korea tomorrow!.

#memo ochoa #ochoa imagines #guillermo ochoa #ochoa

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saintqueer · 6 months

Note

I'm sorry you got harassed again just from a simple post with a (imo pretty valid) opinion. If that person is the same that answered your post by reblogging and repplying on their blog with unnecessary hate (apparently queer but a solo louie) then it's the one I just blocked. I love to currate my experience in this fandom. Anyway I just wanted to say, I used to love your posts in this fandom! I lost track of your blog and thought you'd disappeard. I'm glad to see you're still on Tumblr and enjoying other fandoms. I'm well aware of how toxic this fandom can get (between the hets, the solos often queer themselves but hating on queer larries and more, to many groups to count tbh, louis' attitude on social media ect), especially when you dare to voice an opinion, which I'm mostly don't lol. I'm staying for the art, the fics, the great memes and ofc the music and the people. You're "y'all" made me think 'I Hope she still got good times and friends out if it. I made some great friends in the larries bunch myself. Anyway sorry for the rant, I lost track of what was my point here. Just was happy to see you pop on my dash through a mutual and wanted to say so I guess?? So once again thank you for the fun times I had reading your posts back in the days; have a great time out here, enjoying your favs fandoms, you do you! Sending love xx

so i was trying to avoid posting any anons regarding prev fandom discourse but i opened this one and read it through and it was just so amazing i had to respond, not just in tags 🥹🥹

of course, it's lovely to hear that you liked my posts on fandom back in the day etc but what really got me was when you wanted to make sure i still got good times and friends out of it, that nearly made me cry

because YEAH I FUCKING DID 🥺😩🥺🥹🥲

blue ( @wastelandbabyblue ) is literally one of the coolest people i've ever known while also being one of the kindest and funniest. id literally kill to meet her one day in person. i still keep up with brenda and several others i met in her og discord, some of which are the only remaining 1d fandom blogs i still follow here - they are so kind and funny and i still talk to them occasionally in a fandom discord i stayed in because i didn't want to lose touch with them.

and 🥹🥹🥹

i met 8 of who i would consider my closest friends in the whole world through fandom. through the most insane wild and unruly fandom discord drama, i literally located my found family: wedo, nino, iza, katja, olia, hanis, chloe, and su

we talk everyday still even though we live all over the world and we talk about nearly everything except fandom nowadays and they've helped me survive living day to day through some of the worst moments of my life. i don't know what i'd do if i didn't have them in my life

last night, i had a bit of a shame spiral thinking about all the time energy money i devoted to the 1d fandom. i felt embarrassed for being so loud about something that ended in so much disappointment. it wasn't fun and i know it was probably triggered by being involved in some discussions i hadn't been in so long

so when i opened this ask, anon, it reminded me so much that whatever was lost from that time, so much more was gained. the embarrassment of remembering dancing around like a fool with a rainbow flag for someone who couldn't even say something as simple as "look at all those colors" pales in comparison to the lifelong friendship i gained with these 8 beautiful women all across the globe

nothing will ever compare to the people i met and the way they feel closer to family than any of my blood ever felt

i'm glad that you found so much goodness as well and thank you for reminding me that it was all worth it for what i got

#anon

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almostgigi · 1 month

Text

Musician!reader - her album

Cw: cursing, sexism, period talk, very lil of Eddie.

After serious accusations on his manager being a complete asshole and a sexist pig against other women and reader herself, she releases her first album on her own domain. Femininity is a cry of "enough", a beating to all the men who think they are better than women just because they are men.

Eddie helps reader with the media and marketing for the album to be heard as is an album made only by women and has no record label.

G I R L M A T H - is a silly little song about women and the things they do in daily life. The concept has been shared on social media and is a current meme in the fandom. But also works as a reminder that we are as smart as you even when we use silly concepts for the things we do.

W I F E M A T E R I A L - the reason reader made this song is because her manager told her once that no matter how many good man she dated, she'll never be wife material, she'll never be enough for them to consider her as more than a beautiful body and a pretty face. This is her comeback.

C O C K T A I L D R E S S E S - third song on the album is about all the things women can do while looking pretty, aka the cocktail dresses.

C O R S E T A N D M A K E U P - almost the same concept as the one before, this song talks about how women has been under the pressure of using things like corsets and makeup to look pretty before, going through the memory of important women like Marie Antoinette, powerful queens all around the world, miss world beauty pageants and more, but now we are free to use them only if we want to.

T H E M A I D - fifth song on the album starts with a man's voice, aka Eddie, saying "I know babe but I'm so tired, just clean it, that's your job anyway" followed by a loud scream and the song starts blasting. Being more of a rock song, talks about how men see us sometimes as "the maid" wanting us to do everything around the house but they never help with the chores.

G R W M or G E T R E A D Y W I T H M E - sixth song in the album and the main single that started everything, the song talk about getting ready to go get revenge. In the music video we can se reader waking up and brushing her teeth, following her skincare routine and her makeup routine as well as her choosing the outfit of the day while she sings the song looking at the camera.

O P P R E S S I O N - a song about nothing more than the oppression women stand every day since existence.

O V E R R E A C T I N G - as queen herself Taylor Swift said "a man is allowed to react, a women can only overreact".

M O O D Y - how many times we had a temper and men accused us of being on our period? more than I want to admit. This song is about being moody, doing what we want because we can and not because we are in a mood thanks to our period.

I <3 H E R - last song on the album and the lost personal one, talks about her and her mother. Is a love letter to the women who gave her life and to all the mothers in the world.

#eddie munson #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie x you #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson imagine #boyfriend material #fem reader

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kutputli · 1 year

Text

I planned to rewatch season 2 of Ted Lasso doing my Nate notes before watching season 3, but the torrent dropped and I was weak. So since I seem to have decided to break my lurker mode and get into participatory fandom after mumblemutter years, forewith! Oh also, I propose a #Safe for Nate Fans tag for ease of finding posts of likeminded people. :)

I find myself watching the show with a split conciousness. Which is always how I watched it. In one way, I watch it in ‘normal’ mode, which is to say through a white gaze, which I’ve cultivated through decades of watching white media and being perfectly able to enjoy and appreciate it. When I do that, I’m able to spread my attention wide and indulge my curiousity about all the characters. (I’ve never had much affection for either Ted or Rebecca, so I look around them to see what the rest are doing. Roy, Trent, and Sam the most, and then Keeley and Jamie.)

But reading fannish posts about the show, and reading fic, inevitably gets me into the second mode of watching, which is as a person of colour, watching a show made by white people, which has a few (so few!) characters of colour. And oh boy, the defensive tension that envelopes me as I watch it that way.

All of which is to say, its very hard to code switch between both. Either I can be in one mode and complain about the absence of Trent when teased with James Lance in the series regular credits, and I can writhe in the excruciating agony that is Roy and Keeley’s shattering heartbreak as they go through their super mature super friendly concious decoupling and to wonder where the fuck a constantly crying Keeley came from and when she hung out with Higgins so often... or.

Or I can talk about how I automatically notice every non-white body in every frame, and start counting them in every scene with extras.

And since I guess there will be enough posts doing the former, that I can like and agree with, I might as well do the latter.

I am so angry about Sharon being given a (presumably) white boyfriend. Because the ultimate signaling that a Black woman is successful is for her to have a conventionally hot, thin, tall, WHITE man. Fucking yuck.

Meanwhile Nate... Jesus. Watching him be cruel to people below him is just painful. That moment when he ignores the hello from the Black woman on the escalater... ugh. And there’s always the explanation that he is so caught up in his own head and his paralysis of social interaction, but still. It’s wrong, and it hurts to watch. I can’t bear people who are rude to employees, and I’m so angry with Nate for doing that. And I’m also angry that I have to keep pointing out to myself, in response to the fannish reactions I’m anticipating, that none of what he is doing is worse than the way Rebecca treated her employees. (And probably how Cartrick treated the players?) The dum-dum line is just terrible, but then again, Ted Lasso told Nate to call his players big dumb pussies, so...

Nate’s new colleagues! Disco is entertaining! I enjoy how he does not seem to be judging Nate, and has an eager terrier vibe of his own. It would be nice if they could be friends.

Rupert’s PA Ms. Kakes, that pallid zombie lady, is interesting, because here’s my prediction. She’s kind of Rupert’s new Higgins. So she probably has to help him bring his women in and out. I suspect at some point Rupert will either sexually harass her, or do something else that she feels responsibility for, and Nate is going to side with her over Rupert. And that (to call back to Keeley’s line about how the previous business in her new office got shut down) is going to be how Nate will help take down Rupert. (I did enjoy the casual mention of the Sacklers as Rupert’s friends to signpost that he is Truly Evil and The Worst. Yes Rupert, you are.)

I am also enjoying the hell out of watching the craft both Anthony Stewart Head (Giles!) and Nick Mohammed are bringing to their scenes, because they are both being so very layered. Rupert just keeps flipping on a dime between genuinely charming and flirtatiously encouraging, and coldblooded threats (he totally staged that car tow, like he got Robbie Williams cancelled). And Nathan... can hold his own! He’s getting so much better and being able to keep up with the social interaction, and respond to the situation as needed, and yet maintain a bit of his own voice and opinion (on his face, if nowhere else.) I honestly thought Nate would just let them tow the car away and try to get it back quietly afterwards, out of shame, but he spoke up for his ride. (And of course the parallels - Nate gave Ted a ride in his car on his first day, Rupert gave Nate a car on his first day.)

And now, Nate’s first press conference! (And of course, all the parallels with Ted’s)

“I’m pretty sure I said wonderkind” - this is at the heart of the Problem of Nathan. Because, he didn’t. I’ve gone back and watched it. We’ve all gone back and watched it. We’ve seen Jan Maas point out to him his mistake. But Nathan just doesn’t let it go. He keeps sticking with the lie. Has he convinced himself about it too? I honestly can’t tell. But here’s the thing. This is a character who has for years, for decades, been dealing with lies and gaslighting and omissions - structurally, by being the kind of person he is in the place he is in. He was told he was worthless, and only capable of being a kitman, and of course I can fill in all the lies a brown man in post-Brexit Britain gets met with, just while walking down the street. Colin and Isaac and Jamie all acted like they had never bullied him. Rebecca taking actions that anyone with a knowledge of the game and the club like Nate has would be able to tell were harmful, and then just acting like she was always everyone’s well wisher. People in power lie, and the structure supports their gaslighting and their rewriting of of history. So that’s what Nate is doing, stubbornly pushing his own stupid, ridiculous lie at all the powerful people he aspires to be a part of. This is the part where I’d like to sit Nate down and ask him what his morals really are. Does he want to make of himself a Rishi Sunak or Bobby Jindal? Is he that self-serving and hypocritical?

There are two reasons why I know Nate to be better than the average self-serving conservative desi sell-out: One is the deep vein of feminism and sensitivity that runs through him - his inner critic is as harsh on him about the misogynistic mistakes he makes as about the social cues he fumbles. And the second is that, unlike Ted (who cares about people) and Rebecca (who cares about winning), Nate cares about the game. He has a deep love for football, which is what fuels his knowledge of it. And unlike Rupert, I don’t think Nate hungers for power (though he definitely misuses what power he now has). I think Nate hungers for belonging - for being included, for having the right to be considered an inalienable part (of the game, of the people, of the nation). The only way out is through, but I hope that we will find a distinction between the way Rupert loves the game - wanting ownership and control, and how Nate loves the game - wanting inclusion and celebration of his own talents in improving it.

But back to that press conference. Nate having the soundtrack of an impending panic attack like Ted had is a bit on the nose, and I get that the show wants us to keep comparing how Ted deals/dealt with a situation vs how Nate does. But, I’m sorry, you just cannot keep making 1:1 comparisons between a well off white American and a middle class brown Britisher. As Nate keeps futilely reminding the narrative - he has a right to be here, he belongs!

What I find frustrating and fascinating is the entire absence of any discussion of Nate as a person in Richmond - Higgins and Rebecca are alone, watching his press conference, and there is not one personal remark about him - oh, he’s really gone grey now! Has he lost weight? His contract was generous enough for him to have not needed to leave, right? Something? Anything! Even Beard and Roy and Ted - all we get is a “that little shit” from Roy. It’s all of Nate’s worst fears - they don’t know him, they don’t remember anything about him, they don’t talk about him. Contrast that with how much Rebecca talks about Rupert. Whatever happened to ‘be curious, not judgemental’? I actually think that’s rubbish - I am both curious AND judgemental of things that bother me, but why is no one gossiping about their assistant coach suddenly fucking off?

Besides the journalist who asked the sewer photo question to Nate, there was another older Black woman journalist in the funky flowy top. I hope one of them becomes the Trent Crimm to him. Though its nice to see Marcus Adebayo get his full byline at the Independent. Marcus’s article says, “Harsh words from Shelley for the club and coach who raised from obscurity as the kitman to assistant coach” and yet again - the same misleading narrative of white saviorism and enforced gratitude. Ted needed Nate’s help to do the job he was unqualified to do, and Nate gave his extra labour, skill and help for a full season without any recompense. For all of Ted’s being nice about Nate on a personal level (and I do believe in the genuineness of that niceness) he has not reversed this narrative of what Nate owes to him.

And that is the Problem of Ted Lasso. Ted values personal kindness and generosity over structural change which is both why he fails to be an actual friend to the first person (of colour) who was kind to him when he came to the UK, and also why he is failing as a coach to get his team to the victorious position his boss wants him to take it to.

And then we see Ted Lasso ‘fighting back’, as Rebecca begs him to. (A note that marginalised people are often not perceived as fighting back against the structural injustices that attack them daily; they are mostly portrayed by the dominant framing as just ‘combative’ and ‘angry’.)

This scene is doing a lot of work, and I think of it as emblematic of the show (and the writers) greatest strengths and weaknesses both. The show is good at craft and writing and flipping from emotion to comedy to pathos to truth, and this scene does all that. Ted makes himself vulnerable, though you can see how it batters at him to invite those laughs. It’s a contrast to Nate - a reminder that the masculinity the show values is about bringing down one’s defences and inviting collaborative relationships - get people to laugh with you, don’t attack, be kind.

But the show is also terrible at accounting for the ways that race and racism are a structural force that affects every character it casts with a racialised body, and this scene highlights it. Nobody laughed with Nate when he was self-deprecating and open. In season 1 we see him constantly try to respond to his bullies with laughter and smiles, trying to play it off as banter between equals so as to minimise the hurt it causes as violence with a power imbalance. It doesn’t work. (And anyone who has studied the evolution of the stand up comedy circuit over the past few decades - a background that of these several show writers have - knows the ways that material is racialised, both the race of the comedian, and of the audience, matters deeply in figuring out what material gets people to laugh, and when.)

You cannot expect me to believe that Nathan Shelley, newly minted coach of West Ham, at his first press conference, could have got everyone to laugh with him and twitter to meme approvingly had he made jokes about calling himself a dummy and the washer of other players’ underwear. That Ted’s tactics are universal, and would work for any man, and not specifically a successful white american who got paid the big bucks to do a job he wasn’t qualified for while he fucked off and left his son on his Eat Pray Love foreign travel. (Nathan will never be allowed to forget that he fucked up the pronunciation of wonderkind. Ted can make comments about a reptile having a belly button uncontested.)

And I bet that’s what Nate is thinking as he watches that press conference - that subtle fear and sadness on his face (God, Nick Mohammed is SO FUCKING GOOD) for both himself and Ted. Nate cares for Ted as he resents him, and watching Ted publicly take a hammer to himself like this is scary and painful. But its also terrifying because Nate has been frantically trying to keep up with the rules of professional interaction in the echelons of power, and now here’s another exception made. Did he just fuck up again, making them laugh at his wit about another team, the way that Rupert clearly indicated he was to do?Ted was the one who taught him it was ok to be snarky and snappy and put-downy! Now he has to account for a different way to play the game?

I’m not going to pick a side on the headcanons about Nate being neurodiverse, but even for neurotypical people codeswitching and transitioning across lines of race and class and culture - it is exhausting to keep up with the constantly edited rulebook in your head. And Nate has not a single person on his side to help him do it.

Cue the text from him mum, which, imma just going to be full South Asian and call her Aunty. Because she sends him photos of the pretty moon, and he responds sweetly, because of course he does. I bet she sends him whatsapp forwards about eating almonds soaked overnight in water. The thing about his dad being upset about him swearing - its a very immigrant experience to have to prove over and over that you know the language as well as the white people, and can use it properly and politely, that you aren’t uncouth and barbaric. I know exactly where the dad is coming from and I also know how it cuts Nate like a knife that never once can his parents just be fucking normal (white) and say love you! (This is why I maintain that Nathan’s dad is not the James Tartt Sr monster that fandom makes him out to be. He’s an immigrant parent who raised a diaspora kid and the can of worms of messy fucked up relationship that involves is a whole other thing.)

I love that Nate read the note saying follow your gut, and immediately went for the honesty of admitting that he didn’t know whether to open the present in front of her or not. (The struggle is real).

Ms Kake’s ‘its a car’ was beautifully delivered. I get the sense that this character is watching a seduction going on as she has had to facilitate for many before, and is observing with the attentive dispassion of a scientist.)

Rupert nodding from the asinine futuristic window like a cartoon supervillian, while Nate gives a nod and immediately after (he can’t help it!) and awkward thumbs up. God I love these two actors. And I really really want to watch Nate collaborate with Ms Kake and take on Rupert. That would be the parallel to season 1 Ted and Higgins vs Rebecca that is worth making the comparison with. (Nate, unlike Colin, can drive a fancy car perfectly well.)

I’m not a fan of the precocious children dispensing wisdom trope, so Henry telling Ted he still needs to try to win, and Phoebe saying Roy is stupid for breaking up is whatever, but if I don’t see Nate’s niece in person this season, I will sulk a lot. (I am assuming Trent Crimm’s daughter will show up as part of whatever romantic arc he’s destined for.)

My final plea for the season is to see Nate in non-branded non-work clothes, and not That Suit, either. Let the man do a scene in jeans and a soft sweater! And thank you lord, for the gratuitous shirtless Sam shot.

#ted lasso season 3 #ted lasso spoilers #safe for nate fans #i guess i should have a nate tag

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thececeverse · 1 month

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Japanese Influencer Chouka Aikawa Makes Her Debut—And Netizens Are Pleasantly Surprised

April 6th, 2024

by E. Cha

After signing to Republic Records and Avex Trax at the end of last year, Japanese fashion influencer, YouTuber, and heiress Chouka Aikawa has finally made her debut as a singer. Since 2015, Aikawa has been prominent within the world of fashion. Her blog, Love Moda, began to see huge amounts of success by 2017, and unlike most 18-year-olds, Aikawa was seeing invites to fashion events across the world. Her namesake YouTube channel was launched the same year, and it has now gone on to amass over 11 million subscribers in just six years.

With her successful career as an influencer and status as the sole heiress to the Aikawa Group’s $480 billion fortune, many were wondering why Aikawa wanted to break into the music industry. Prior to December of last year, she had expressed little to no interest in beginning a music career, nor had she displayed any musical talents. So, of course, her signing to two major players in the music industry was surprising to many of her fans.

However, just as the New Year was approaching, Aikawa would take to social media to wish her fans a Happy New Year, as well as to promise them a music debut in the first quarter of 2024.

It was a pleasant surprise for Aikawa’s fans, and reactions ranged from ecstatic to confused. Some were even mildly skeptical, as her singing ability was a complete mystery. For the most part, it looks like everyone was eager to see what Aikawa had in store. And it wasn’t just her fans, either. The music industry and the general public as a whole were itching to weigh in on her debut.

YouTubers and influencers tend to have a bad reputation with releasing their own music, and many were waiting to see if Aikawa would unfortunately succumb to the same fate. But fortunately for her, it was the exact opposite. Aikawa’s debut single, “Girls Don’t Cry,” is a dreamy and lighthearted pop track that talks about the plights women face in society. The song’s music video garnered over 32 million views within its first 24 hours, and it immediately shot to the top spot on YouTube’s trending page. However, what did the viewers think?

Overall, reception was overwhelmingly positive. Fans loved the “girlishness” of the track and how Aikawa stuck to her classic hyperfeminine aesthetic, and critics hailed the fresh-sounding production. What everyone was most surprised at, though, was how good of a singer Aikawa was.

Fans were all over social media praising her vocals and how clear she sounded, despite her “breathy” voice and unique accent. The shock from fans and critics only grew larger, however, when the song’s producer—music industry legend Max Martin—revealed on his Instagram that no autotune was used to pitch correct Aikawa’s vocals, praising her diction skills. That certainly threw fans for a loop, and Martin’s words became a hot topic across the internet, certainly making praise towards Aikawa increase.

“Girls Don’t Cry” is slated to enter the Top 20 of the Billboard Hot 100, but some say it could even enter the Top 10. We’ll have to wait and see where Aikawa’s budding music career takes her, but we wish her all the best for now.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ WHAT DO NETIZENS THINK … ?!

[+2090, -91] oh my god chouka’s debut is actually so incredible … like genuinely so pleasantly surprised she did such a good job !

[+2074, -82] found out chouka can sing today … love that for her actually like c’mon princess of pop

[+2012, -59] rich as fuck, can dress, has a man that literally worships the ground she walks on, and now a critically acclaimed debut ….. aikawa chouka has it all i fear

[+1895, -88] she’s kinda like wonyoung but 5 years older idk

[+2009, -27] gabbie hanna found DEAD !

#˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ COME INTO THE VERSE !#˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ CHAR … CHOUKA !#ARTICLES !#kpop idol oc #kpop oc soloist #kpop soloist #kpop solo artist #kpop oc #fake kpop idol #fictional kpop oc #fictional kpop idol #idol oc soloist #idol oc #idol soloist #fake idol #fake idol oc #idolverse #fictional idol oc #fictional idol community

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kendrixtermina · 10 months

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So, the accusations against Flake

Source.

Guys, I know we’re all exasperated by the previous bullshit, don't blindly jump in defense mode. This is very, very different from the previous stuff with Till. Also coming with an oath, being well-attested (with proof that she told family members at the time & got help from victim councelling associations), and the affected person themselves describing it, not those crazy hearsay stories. That definitely happened. That’s more or less the same standard of proof with which they convicted trump recently.

Flake was probably drunk out of his mind as well and who knows what he was thinking or intending, but this one I would definitely consider to be rape since the women were fully unconscious or nearly so, & there was definitely no asking.

With the second one you can say that she just doesn’t remember & no one can say what happemned (I definitely wouldn’t say that all drunken sex is automatically) but the first one is clear as crystal. She was so drunk that she lay down due to being zonked out/feeling unwell, she didn’t want it at all not even at the time, she tried to turn away but was unable to resist, he just grabbed her & then went into freeze mode.

He should have asked/checked in, especially given how young she was, this could have been her first time, that should require talking, not just grabbing & starting to fuck.

I mean, I'll still listen to the music & I don't believe in one-dimensional instant black & white labelling of people as monsters unless they're actively unrepetant & continuing or like promoting acting like this, as we don't do that for any other crime, but there is no defending this or dilluting this or construing that he wasn't the one resposible, and I'm way less sure if I’m going to be proudly displaying paraphernalia/posters/cds etc after this.

I’ve always been for labelling actions, not people, or going by arbitrary catergory lines, but even if we look only at the action itself, he did do the crime.

The action was not defensible & had an harmful impact on the victim at very least through gross negligence or callous disregard.

It's a crime where no one seems capable of distinguishing nuances of severity & this case doesn't require the same level of depravity as, say, actively holding someone down while they're screaming, but at very least in the first case due dilligence to acertain consent was definitely not done, especially given how young she was.

Plus, it fits with what he said in many earlier interviews about having done things in poor judgement while drunk, and to his credit he has long stopped drinking.

Still, you wouldn't want this done to you or your sisters or daughters, or for this to be held as socially acceptable. It should be called out as an unacceptable act. People have freeze responses, which there needs to be more awareness off, but, we're talking about someone who was totally zonked out of her mind & there was zero communication.

Kinda dissapointed to see so many ppl in the subreddit resorting to the “she must be making it up” canard - I understand they’re jaded from the previous crying wolf & sensationalistic media storm, but this is not like the hearsay or distorted reporting of still clearly consensual stories about Till.

#rammstein scandal #rammstein #flake lorenz #till lindemann

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massalk2 · 2 years

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Throughout the months of April and May of 2022, the defamation trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard had taken place in front of the whole world. Depp sued Heard for defamation after she wrote an “opposite the editorial page” (Op-ed) on the Washington post titled “I spoke up against sexual violence - and faced our culture’s wrath. That has to change.” In that op-ed, she talked about sexual and domestic abuse that she experienced as a child but also in romantic relationships. She did not mention Johnny Depp. The trial was made public for the whole world to see.

It is generally believed that this trial made it possible for men to speak up about domestic abuse, however, I think the only thing it did was reinforce misogyny and further silence victims.

I have been on social media during the trial and everybody was talking about it. Compilations on youtube about “the best moments” or “funniest moments” of this trial received more and more views, and especially on the platform “Tiktok” the harassment against Amber Heard was the harshest I've seen a celebrity receive after getting “cancelled”. Short videos of her crying when testifying (in front of the whole world) about sexual abuse or rape she received from her ex-husband Depp were published with circus music in the background, “body language experts” (even though it is not an actual thing) all over the world calling her testimony acting and suspicious. People in the comments, did not deny Depp’s alleged sexual abuse on his ex-wife, instead, they “didnt see what he did wrong here” and “they wished that was them”. I, personally, was shocked by how the public acted when it came to Heard’s testimony on alleged sexual abuse: let’s imagine that she really was lying, it was still a description of rape, not just a normal intercouse, so those comments I read about rape, were disgusting to me, and i can't even imagine how rape victims felt reading comments romanticising such important accusations, just because the perpetrator is a famous actor. The way the general public reacted to violence and especially sexual violence shows that our culture has no problem and is ready to diminish and make fun of women’s traumatic experiences, more so if they are caused by powerful men.

Besides, Heard’s testimonies would be cut into short videos, would be edited with a written caption distorting her meaning and would be published. Us, users of the internet, would see the video cut, edited and out of context, and assume she really is crazy. In fact, by the end of April, she was already the narcissist, manipulative, abusive, money-hungry witch while Johnny Depp was this brave man who built up the courage to finally break his silence and face his abuser, who is very true to himself and innocent because he comes to court in sunglasses and eats candies.

When the verdict came out on June 1st, it was like Amber Heard’s death sentence was pronounced: she was humiliated in front of the world, and petitions asking for her removal from the movie she starred in “Aquaman” got millions of signatures.

A few months later, Brad PItt is suing Angelina Jolie and people are already taking his side, Evan Rachel Wood’s complaints are being questioned, even though it was already proven that she was abused in every way possible by her long-term ex boyfriend Marilyn Manson who dated her when she was 18 while he was 37, but his image got better because he is Johnny Depp’s best friend and everyone loves Johnny Depp. So it is safe to say that the Metoo movement has died because any woman speaking up now is accused of wanting to destroy the man’s life and career and faces diffamation complaints from her abuser.

What I noticed is that women are held accountable for actions they did and actions they didn't do, and are made fun of whether they're abused or abusive.

The petition of Amber Heard getting removed from her movie got millions of votes while a Chris Brown song was trending at the same time. Chris Brown was proven guilty of abusing and being violent against his ex-girlfriend Rihanna, but everybody still listens to his songs, in fact, jokes are made everyday about Rihanna being abused. Other people still defend that we should separate the man from the artist, defending the fact that abusers should still have a career despite their actions, however women's careers are destroyed for being victims.

In conclusion, my opinion is that the Depp v Heard trial should have never been public because it was treated like a reality show, and the way the general public reacted to it has made it easier now, not only to discredit women’s experiences and trauma, but also keep any other (female) victim from speaking out, fearing that she may be publicly humiliated and see her life shatter right in front of her. Amber said after the trial that she has never felt more removed from her humanity, and i completely understand her feelings, even I, who was on no one’s side during the trial, was shocked by the comments I read and videos I’ve seen of not only how she was not treated in a human way but also how grown people were threatening to kill her one-year-old daughter.

#justice for amber heard #i stand with amber heard #amber heard #depp vs heard #feminism

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