#i see this point about drifter in particular a lot and i understand where it comes from
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Is it just me or are there less morally gray characters on our side now?
By that like: Drifter's more openly altruistic, Mara is opening up and respecting boundaries, Nimbus is super good etc.
All seems left is Spider. (idk if Clovis could be considered morally gray perchance)
Like I'm not against character development & hope and kindness but.
I miss having shifty people, bastards and the like around to muddy the waters
There's definitely less, yes. I would still classify Spider and Clovis for sure, but a lot of the characters have since been kinda forced to pick a side. As Osiris told Rasputin in their cutscene:
A line has been drawn in this system. Light on one side. Dark on the other. Where do you stand?
I think this was a question in general to a lot of characters, not just Rasputin. I also really love shifty characters, but as we near the end of the story, there simply is no time for us to endure and tolerate characters who aren't clear on where they stand. The survival of all existence in the universe depends on it.
I think muddying the waters is something that happens in the middle of the story, but by the time we get closer to the end of the narrative, these have to become clear. Like, right now, our enemies are so overwhelming and so powerful that any sort of indecisiveness or shiftiness can be seen as extremely dangerous. There's no more room for staying neutral or playing both sides.
With Drifter in particular though, I'm super hardcore with the belief that his story was always leading to this. It's the natural line of his character arc. He was cool as a shifty guy, but that was just the surface of him as a character. There was always a deeper desire that he followed all of his life; his desire to be safe and his reliance on hope.
He had his doubts in the Light and Ghosts, but he equally doubts the Darkness. He tried both sides and found them both wanting. What he finally realised, is that his place is with the people. He has always been a person eager to help, just afraid of consequences of angering the wrong side. If you remember his early life in the village Eaton, he was hiding his Light, but he could still NOT resist helping; he was using his Ghost to scout the area for food and push animals towards the village hunters.
Even when he was playing with Darkness as a Dredgen, something within recognised that it's not his place when it gave him the name of Dredgen Hope. Similarly, Shin also recognised this and established contact and they forged Gambit together to weed out corruption in Guardians. And finally, he met us, the Young Wolf at the urging of Osiris no less:
“Go home. There’s a Guardian you should meet,” Osiris said.
“Yeah, yeah. Hero. Red War. Can’t wait.”
When he realised that he can trust us AND that we trust him, he finally figured that he can relax for the first time in his life. It was a tipping point. Everyone spent so long telling him about trust and hope and a possible better future and there was nothing to convince him it could be truly real until we came along.
And then of course Eris came to him in Arrivals and that just strengthened the deal. There were people who needed him, people who believed in him, people he could help. Permanently! Hope for a better future was real and it was worth investing into. Light is not the be all end all, we can use Darkness as well to our benefit and he excels in that, but he uses it on our side. There is no other option. He tested them all out and the only one that makes him not feel afraid is our side.
I find his journey absolutely fascinating beyond any other and his development to be one of the best arcs in the whole game. I definitely enjoy Drifter being schemy and shifty, he was a fascinating change of tone in the Tower when he showed up. But I think that keeping him locked into that role would've been a stagnation of his character and not really compelling. Keeping him shifty just for the sake of having a shifty character would just get boring and it would've led nowhere.
It's definitely a change that makes a lot of people miss the old him, but also remember that all of his shifty acting up was mostly a scam. He was meant to pretend to be shady in order to draw people to Gambit and to enact the scheme of figuring which Guardians will fall to corruption. In truth, everyone in the Vanguard knows about the purpose of Gambit and it's been approved.
Either way, for Drifter in particular I will always say that not only was his change necessary for his own benefit (so he could stop being miserable and afraid all his life), it was also the natural conclusion to every hint about his inherent desire to help and his belief in hope. Definitely made us miss the shifty scammer extraordinaire, but I am primarily interested in seeing my fave get better and achieve what he's been looking for for so long.
Could we have gotten some other characters like that after? Possibly. But as I said at the start, super hard to navigate that type of a person when we're dealing with, basically, the end of a story. A shifty character right now would have a hard time fitting in. Spider is still there, but with much less influence. And Clovis is of course Clovis, but his inability to pick a side is what now makes him potentially incredibly dangerous. That's the problem with being shifty right now; even casual flirting with our enemies is lethal.
#destiny 2#drifter#ask#long post#SORRY BLORBO BRAIN ACTIVATED#i see this point about drifter in particular a lot and i understand where it comes from#drifter was incredible when he first showed up. but he's incredible to me now as well EXACTLY because of what he was at the start#it often feels almost cruel to him when people want him to go back to being just an untrustworthy scammer#he's suffered a long and difficult life and he's always just been looking for safety and trust. and he found it with us#i am overjoyed for him and for the fact that he found his place especially with eliksni and that he's so invested in helping them#i think his gifts and personality shine much better like this#knowing where he came from and what he's been through. for him there was respite at the end#i love him so much you don't even understand how much i love him
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i find it so interesting to look at sam and dean's respective views of society and people vs monsters, especially in early seasons, and then how that shifts and evolves throughout the show. like when we first meet them dean is very anti establishment whereas sam is literally studying law at an ivy league college. dean is very vocally anti police, and you're like wow for someone who was raised by an authoritarian father and is trying his hardest to please him this guy sure hates authority. he is aware of and cares about issues like racism and classism. but then when it comes to anyone non human he pretty much has no grey area, he sees them all as monsters to be put down. they are Things and they all killed his mum. whereas sam is pretty neutral about people, he doesn't even seem to be aware of systemic inequalities, he has a more individualistic approach to society. but this means he also sees monsters as individuals, just as capable of being good or redeemed.
This has everything to do with the way they grew up and the challenges they faced that affected them the most. dean's biggest challenge was putting food on the table. dean grew up poor and hungry. he was arrested for stealing, he had to use his body to get by, and he had to starve to try and feed sammy. and sam also grew up poor, but he was somewhat shielded from the reality of it. he wasn't the one who had to get food and pay for the extra week in a motel john left them in. his issues were much more personal. because sam knew he was a freak by all standards, he felt impure, and he knew in his heart that the monsters they hunted weren't too different from him. so his hope was in believing that anyone could be saved. anyone could choose to be good. where dean saw a system, with people in power and people who suffered because of them, sam saw grey individuals, and he was drawn in particular to the ones that had something "wrong" with them (max, madison, the kid from bugs, etc)
dean grew up so isolated that he couldn't be individualistic. he could only look at people from afar and that's why he sees the systems. and the violence he faced wasn't targeted at him personally, it was targeted at people like him. poor people, drifters, queer (or queer-looking) people. sam grew up trying to make connections. he made friends, he wanted an education. he tried so hard to belong.
and it's interesting to me that dean ended up being the one who formed the most personal bonds with people who were different, or ostracised, or monsters. see crowley, benny, charlie, claire.
sam tried to build communities (see his s14 arc) but every time he tried to get close to someone it ended in disaster so he ended up keeping his distance. and building a system. throughout the show he takes on leadership roles, and as time progresses he keeps his relationships more and more goal-oriented. whereas dean ends up forming personal bonds with a lot of people, and focusing less on helping oppressed people in general, and more on saving the individuals he cares about. i'm not saying they switched roles, they both kept their original views of the world, but they shifted towards a more confused and confusing moral compass that pointed somewhere in the middle and made it harder for them to understand each other. and ain't that just what growing up is like. dean cared about the whole world as a teen and young adult, but then that became too much to bear, and he had to focus his energy on his circle of loved ones. still caring about the world, but he had individual connections now and had to prioritise them. and sam still saw the potential for redemption and goodness in everyone, but he grew weary of people too, afraid of them or afraid of losing them, and he built walls. tried to help by giving himself missions rather than getting personally and emotionally involved.
psychologically speaking this show is so rich, the characters don't feel one dimensional (despite some of the writers' best efforts), and following their journey for 15 years means we saw them change and evolve, they don't remain the same people they were in season 1, but they keep some of that, and they just grow organically. sometimes i just love spn
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CPN : XZS vlog chapter 5.5 Rome & Paris 📺
just some bits and pieces that we picked up from the recent vlog shared by xz and his team. honestly, their work just keeps getting better and better. no one does it like them. some people may hate on him for the ‘vlogs’ but at this point, the production quality is on par with something you can show on tv or a streaming app. xz’s travel show when….
as usual, everything is fake and interpreted with turtle/cpn glasses on. if you don’t like it then feel free to scroll — no one is forcing you. ‼️‼️
Let’s start with the date of posting which 3/29, out of all the days he could have shared this, why now? They usually go for Thursdays but not this one. We think it’s a late 3/28 gift, that day is Wuji recording and also when WYB came home from his Rome trip. What a nice coincidence, cause the vlog posted had Rome in it too. These two are really so particular with dates! I can’t. 🥹🥹🥹🥹
1. One thing that stood out to me was when he was looking at a design book. He was talking about designing typeface and letter, and how there are different formations in writing or presenting them. I don’t think that it was ever CPN that he likes to play with letters/ characters to give a different meaning. or to hide something. think : yibo’s motorcyle suit. this just confirms that.
( i have talked about most ( if not all ) of the design bits and hidden meanings per the photos above and more. it’s too much for me to link each one so just feel free to explore this blog. )
2. The way he was eating the lollipop and his pose is so WANG YIBO. I’m sorry, but that’s the first thing that came to mind. Yibo and his oral fixation is real and we see it on SDC most of the time. 😂 They really mirror each other’s habits now and do certain things that make you go “wait… that’s totally xx behavior and not his..”
people are wondering if they saw the fanart of them eating 🍭 at some point and copied it unconsciously.
3. The element of romance in this vlog makes me wanna scream! honestly. Sure, you can argue that the place ( especially paris ) is romantic or that he is doing fan service to the viewers — like, you’re in a romantic weekend with me in Paris. Yeah. Sure. that’s a plausible explanation. but for a clown like me, the elements seem deliberate.
The lines in Moon River:
I'm crossing you in style some day // Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker // Wherever you're going, I'm going your way // Two drifters, off to see the world // There's such a lot of world to see // We're after the same rainbow's end.
He sang the line ‘ i’m crossing you in style some day ‘ — yeah, ZZ. you will be with WYB one day in Rome and Paris. and the mention of a Rainbow. 🌈 I need someone to make a fan video with this as a BGM please.
Next is JVKE’s golden hour. This one has more 👀 lyrics. The whole “golden” and “see you shine” just screams his love for anything about the sun. the sun and his sunflower ☀️ and the mention of summer.
We were just two lovers // Feet up on the dash, drivin' nowhere fast // Burnin' through the summer // Radio on blast, make the moment last // She got solar power
I also don’t really buy it when people say “he doesn’t understand the lyrics, don’t think to much..” i mean. are you really lowkey insulting him at this point? he may not know like the details, but i’m pretty sure he understands the general meaning. and like, it’s not that hard to understand english words. come on.
The style for the intros were also reminiscent of the movie Roman Holiday. Maybe they looked up a movie and watched it. but anyway, the story of this is also a romantic movie.
Yes we know you’re not single. ☺️☺️☺️☺️
4. He wore a long wooyoungmi coat which I talked about here. So looks like that’s where the paper bag was from? but if he already wore it, why bring the bag like that? it’s not that precious of a cargo to hand carry anyway. i’m still eating the candy.
5. Same place, but years apart. ⏱️
6. How he was trying to ride the scooter makes me soft. I feel like the influence of riding things like this ( and even the hoverboard he owns ) is from WYB. 🥹 He can’t do motorcycles, but he is willing to try everything else. The whole image of him riding it reminds us of the loyiboard character design too!
7. When you see what’s on screen during the 2:28 timestamp, it’s a dog. Lol. thinking of your puppy back home? There are also two other shots where a dog is there, but not as deliberate as this one.
8. It looks familiar 🤔🤔🤔🤔
9. It depends on how you see it, 8 or infinity. I’ve really been up in arms with this CPN and feel like we will see more of it.
10. The message ZZ brings in this vlog is the best thing tho. from the caption of the video on weibo :
The best time is on the road, to listen In the heart, to draw inspiration, to travel far, to find a different self. Feel free to do what you want👣
I love how he is encouraging people, in a way, to get out there. which was always his message to fans, to have time to go outside and build themselves up. Don’t spend too much time online. Also the bit about feel free to do what you want. I really hope he gets to do that more. I hope he gets to make choices that lean more towards the things he wants. 💕
and this bit : ( to native speakers, feel free to chime in too )
“in the long run the straw weighs” = despite the light weight, everything becomes heavy if you bring it for too long.
-END.
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A continuation of the Axi ask for @arcaneglitch (and anyone who maybe possibly is interested in my made up stories)
So let's talking about Destiny 2 Axilaes =)
For the basics, he's a warlock, broodweaver specifically, he was revived in the dark ages (OLD), and he's human (albeit with cybernetics in him)
I feel like there's a lot to talk about so I'll break it down via different segments
His Timeline & History
Axi was revived in an old Braytech facility in the Dark Ages before there was any sense of a collective humanity during the time where warlords controlled land used their Light for power. He noticed he was capable of some of the same things they were, rifts, floating, and being essentially immortal as long as his Ghost was alive. But unlike the other risen he noticed his light didn't seem to manifest as any particular element, all he was really good at was making rifts, and any time he tried creating any of the other elements he saw it ended in failure. He stayed like this for a while.
Along the way he got a travelling companion, who was another risen with the same kinds of powers as him but was able to manifest a fire element power. They wandered together and exchanged their healing powers for food in the settlements they visited, but eventually they had a falling out and Axi went out on his own. He met the Drifter a few times.
He made a habit out of stalking warlords and scavenging the carnage after battles for supplies, so in legend he became kind of a ghostly figure who haunted the scenes after wars broke out. He unintentionally befriended a dog, ended up with a pack, and used his pack to help him scavenge and vulture off others. Sometimes he'd even purposefully create hostility between two opposing powers just so he could steal and pillage unnoticed. He also started to see little green wisps appear when it seemed like something important was about to happen.
When the world started shifting into a place that had more order and discipline he kept his routine by joining up with a rogue crew of Eliksni pirates. When they eventually all died, he retreated back to earth alone and decided to live isolated in silence for a while.
On his travels with the Eliksni on other planets he'd taken an interest in the foliage and flora that existed in the Sol System and especially with paracausal plants, taking note of certain kinds that would be imbued with Light or Darkness. He studied them and learned to extract and use their powers. Some risen, and guardians at this point with an interest in his work would ask him for the consumables he made, which he offered at a price. Over time he started becoming a name associated with Dredgens since they would use his concoctions to commune with Darkness or overexert their Light. At this point he'd also began understanding the green wisps and learning to control them
Drifter asked him to join in on Gambit when it started, and he refused at first. Eventually he lost a bet and was forced to play a game, and he realized he loved it. He remained a consistent player and made a slight name for himself amongst frequent Gambit players.
When strand was revealed to the cast of the game he had finally stopped hiding the fact that he'd already learned about it and managed a basic level of control over it up to that point.
Cyberware
When Axi was revived he was already equipped with a strange type of cyberware replacing his arms, lungs, heart, eyes, and parts of his spine. Despite having cybernetic eyes his vision is QUITE BAD, which was odd, until he managed to find some information at Braytech about an "experimental aquatic proto-exo" meant to be exos designed to fully inhabit water. Sure enough, underwater he's able to breathe (though not without a little discomfort) and see perfectly.
He doesn't know why he's not a finished prototype and was left primarily organic, but it doesn't bother him either way.
Personality & Relationships
At his core Axi is the type of person who just wants to live a peaceful life. He has hobbies and interests, but he's not ambitious with his work. Unfortunately (as he sees it) he's had a bad track record of getting really attached to people. Some kids back in the Dark Ages, his old dog pack, his former Eliksni crew, Lucius (who belongs to @light-thedar-k), and Elijah (who belongs to @thetruenightzedge)
Axi doesn't have much empathy for humanity in general and only wants to keep himself and those in his circle cared for, so he's very willing to jeopardize others for the sake of his own needs and feels no guilt about it. He's emotionally stunted and has a harsh personality, he scolds a lot, he's bossy and strict. With strangers he's often cocky and always unintentionally (and maybe sometimes intentionally) carrying an air of "I'm better than you" with the way he holds himself and smiles condescendingly. When he feels like he's lost control of a situation he's quick to anger and over-dramatic frustration (and frankly just going fuckin feral). He loves games and gambling and bets, and he's a real sore loser lol. When people hurt the ones he cares about he tends to go overboard with the revenge.
Lucius he met in the Reef when he lived as a pirate, and her death was one of the first to affect him as much as it did, he saw her as a sister. Elijah he fought against a few times in Gambit, and they developed a very intense horny enemies to rivals to lovers dynamic.
Extra Trivia
He's gay and transgender, and transitioned before he was revived
His Ghost is named Anem
Since the dark ages he's always been able to have visions or gut feelings about the future, so in some degree he's like a psychic but he has low control over his ability unless he meditates consistently. He often has visions of the future while he's sleeping that feel very real, and also has dreams of parts of his life in the past, so oftentimes when he wakes up he has a hard time knowing whether he's in the present past or future, and gets really disoriented. He hates sleeping.
He doesn't like to cook
He adopted two golden age sentient AIs he found and named Ćiknawi and Hari and input into his jumpship and sparrow/skimmer respectively
He's really lazy
and you can have a little half assed drawing I did of him
#there's a lot more content i have of specific events but AAAA its already so long#kar post#axilaes#d2 axilaes#my art#kar's art#destiny oc#destiny 2
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(liveblog tag in chronological order)
This conflict is also really compelling. The Thundercats need the Book of Omens to save Third Earth, and Soul Sever isn't necessarily opposed to that so much as he doesn't care because he has his own goal that he desperately needs to achieve that he thinks the Book is the answer for.
But here's where it falls flat for me, because what this episode is actually about is a debate on whether technology is good or bad. Which is such a random thing to be on about this late in the game. Especially for Lion-O, because last we could tell, he still loved technology.
Over 20 episodes he's either had no issue or was still actively interested in tech, but all of a sudden he blames tech for the fall of Thundera??? Where is this coming from?? Not to mention how he hasn't been this aggressive (and imo stupid) about something since his character development, so it's doubly weird.
All right, so my tinfoil hat theory is that this episode may have been originally conceived for earlier on in the show, but then for any number of reasons, it was moved to here and reworked for plot but not character.
Remember how I pointed out that Pumyra wasn't mentioned with Cheetara and the twins when Tygra handwaved their absence? Maybe the original draft took place before she was introduced.
Same for that odd moment where they didn't acknowledge the Berbils, maybe it was supposed to be these events that led them to later accept the Berbils. That quick exchange about Panthro's arms would've been obviously necessary, but maybe going any deeper on continuity was overlooked.
But those details are conjecture at best and could easily be explained as just mistakes. All I really have here is vibes, and this character beat has the vibe of something that was written for Early Lion-O, who used to run his mouth about whatever the episode was about and then be forced to reevaluate. See also: Ramlak Rising, Song of the Petalars, The Duelist and the Drifter, Sight Beyond Sight, and Between Brothers.
He doesn't do that anymore since his character development had him grow up and learn to be more understanding, but here it is again out of nowhere. Even in Recipe for Disaster when he backslid into impulsivity, it was brief and he regretted it immediately, and you even got the sense of building anxiety that led to it within the episode. He just started the episode like this right out of the gate. The best I've got is what I said earlier about him just being in a mood, but it still feels weird narratively.
Lion-O suddenly going on about how he hates technology for destroying his home is nonsensical in episode 24 when there’s been no buildup to it and it frankly contradicts his character up to now. But what if it had been episode… 7 or 8? Either right before or right after Legacy.
That early on, it would make sense that he had a leftover reaction to the trauma of losing his home, he was still getting his feet under him. And then an episode like this would have him grapple with that and resolve it and the show would proceed, like those other early episodes.
The theme and arc this episode is going for are sound, but the problem is that they don't fit right here at this moment. If you try to transplant an earlier episode to later in the show, you have to account for character in addition to plot. Lion-O has been so chill with technology, even when he was in the thick of his trauma, so why is this happening now, when by all rights he didn't have this hangup before today?
I could be full of it since I have no evidence to back this theory up, but it would explain a LOT of what bugs me, and I'm just trying to make sense of everything because the way Lion-O is written in this episode doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.
It could also just be that this is the only episode credited to this particular writer and maybe they just didn’t have a good grasp on how Lion-O’s character had already developed or what events had already happened.
Whatever the case I’m not a fan of the results.
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(Mostly) Destiel Fic Recs #5
This is a LONG recs post because it’s been a while since I did an update and I fell hard into reading one author’s work (DeanRH). In fact I could easily do a rec post just of their fics alone, but for this round I’m just going to pick out a handful of my absolute favorites so far, the ones I’d recommend to start out with, along with more other authors’ works I’ve especially enjoyed lately.
Absolution at the Five-and-Dime by DeanRH (125k) - this is perhaps THEE DeanRH fic to start with if you want a good, long read with a little bit of everything (Roadtrips! Intriguing casefic! Americana! Tasty Dean/Cas pining! Wing!kink and unique angel lore! Kinky soul fisting and tentacles!) It’s kind of two of parallel stories in one: the first, a flashback to Dean and Sam's first year hunting on their own (as well as trying to avoid hunting, and John in general); the second on how Dean and Cas finally get together during an unusual case and when Dean is able to really let go of his past trauma and accept himself/accept love from Cas.
What I love about DeanRH’s work is that they write from the unique point of view of a drifter, so they understand living on the road, traveling place to place, and the highs and lows of that life like no others I’ve encountered in SPN before. (The author’s notes are often as much fun to read as the stories themselves). They also write a kickass angel!Cas and never lose sight of his non-human traits and background. Their writing style is unique - almost poetic in nature, and I know some readers have found it difficult to get into. But it works really well for me in their SPN fic...gives it the flavor of oral story telling as might actually happen at a drifter’s camp (with one story written exactly as such). Be warned this particular fic does play up the idea of John Winchester being mentally abusive and Dean having to turn tricks when he was younger in order to support him and Sam, so there is some dark stuff. But as someone who grew up with mentally abusive parent, reading this was extremely cathartic to me and believably written (unlike some stories that go too over the top with abusive John, or just don't understand how that kind of abuse leaves lifetime psychological scars.)
The rest of this round’s recs below the cut.
Carnevale by DeanRH (18k) - Actually the first fic by this author I read, because I just couldn’t resist a story set in my favorite place in the world, Venice, Italy. Castiel is the Angel of Venice, banished there for so long he does not even know or remember the reasons why. But Carnevale season is the one time a year he can let his wings out - figuratively and literally. And during this particular Carnevale season, he meets an intriguing masked young American tourist there with his brother and their one night stand turns into something far more powerful than either expected. This one’s hot, romantic, and achingly sad at the end as it all ties together unexpectedly with canon-verse...though with a hint for the future so it’s definitely not totally sad. I loved how DeanRH clearly understands Venice as a fellow lover of the city, the side of it most tourists never see unless they spend a long time there. This story made me cry just from wanting to be back in Venice again.
Ice cream was sweeter, food more satisfying, everything was an epicurean delight. There was just something magical about Venice, and he had lived here in the city for hundreds of years, so the shine should have worn off by now.
But it didn't, and there was always something more, something wonderful to discover around the next corner. The painted eaves of a church. The beauty of two women dancing with flowers in their teeth across the Piazza San Marco one day, overcome by the sheer joy of just being there. The way the university students still created Venetian masks, like Castiel's extravagant volto mask and Dean's humble servetta muta, with crafts that had been handed down across the generations. The morning silence that lay against the stones.
Hard Landing by DeanRH (26.9k) - A bit similar in theme to Carnevale. A pre-series Dean and Sam are sight-seeing in Spain when an angel, struck by a babel-spell, crash lands right in front of Dean. A strange yet seriously hot encounter with the angel turns into something much more complicated when the brothers return home and realize something more serious is afoot and they are both trapped in the middle of it. This is another story where things are very much not as they seem at first (as fun as that is!) It features master strategist Cas at his best, with a side helping of delightful trickery care of Gabriel and Balthazar as they deal with Lucifer, Michael...and a few others along the way.
The Sacred Band of Thebes by DeanRH (14.5k) - The last DeanRH fic I’m gonna allow myself to include in this round up, because it’s just very soft and sweet and beautiful - for a story about Dean & Cas being magically transported back in time to ancient Sparta! This is another story infused with a great knowledge of place and history, with some wonderfully delightful original characters added in that make it all the more enjoyable to read.
And now on to some other authors, I promise!
IPAMIS OL OLPRIT by emmbrancsxx0 (56k). A really wonderful fic that take a different look at what might have happened with a temporarily resurrected John Winchester during Season 14. Dean & Cas are in an established relationship here, and John here isn’t too happy about it — though mostly because he sees Cas (and Jack) as monsters, the kind of monsters he spent his lifetime hunting. This is a great fic for the emotional complexity of how John, Dean and Cas are all handled. John isn’t a cardboard evil dad, Dean is struggling between his loyalty to his father and to Cas, and Cas is increasingly bitchy/frustrated at Dean still being so desperate for his father’s approval (and all the more complex for not just being a quietly suffering perfect supporting boyfriend.) There’s some great action sequences in this too along with the emotional angst and a delicious dose of hurt!Cas if that’s your thing (as it is for me :D)
Abrenuntio by Neonbat (51k). A very dark but compelling AU take on the/a apocalypse universe. Dean, Sam and John are all alive in this post-angel war-apocalyptic world. They are part of a group of human survivors fighting against the angel army when they manage to capture “Blue” — a particularly feared angel of death. Dean is tasked with bringing Blue in for interrogation and he becomes a prisoner in their camp after John is killed. As mentioned, this is a pretty dark/sad fic (with some rather gruesome torture scenes) but I still found it quite compelling as a look at how things could have gone in some other parallel universe. And somehow the author manages to make the Dean/Cas relationship come together despite them starting out as complete enemies. This is one of those AUs that works for me because the core of the characters really shine through despite the differences in the setting.
if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee (37k) - a gorgeous post-Empty rescue fic that takes an approach I haven’t really seen explored in detail before (despite being something I’ve actually thought about as something that could’ve happened.) What if Cas has spent so long denying himself happiness, and then trapped in regrets and false-rescue scenarios created by the Empty, that he can’t trust that his rescue is real? And so he runs off to be on his own - literally stealing the Impala because he can’t handle being in Dean’s presence one moment longer - and only slowly comes to terms with the idea that it’s over now and he can be happy with/around his friends and family. This one’s both deliciously angsty and at times funny/sweet, looking at Cas’s relationships not just with Dean but with Sam, Jack, Claire, even Eileen. It does some fun stuff with other returned angels and demons who now find themselves back on Earth (and human), and...I just really enjoyed this one a lot.
Both Saved and Lost by angelfishofthelord (13.7k) Gen Cas character study, absolutely gorgeous and sad and one of those fic I couldn’t stop thinking about the day after reading it. AU where Apocaverse!Cas isn’t immediately killed by our Cas during 13x22 but instead hitches a ride back to the main ‘verse. Dean and Sam want to keep him alive for information on Michael; Cas is torn and trying to figure out just how similar—or different—they really are. Some great angel stuff here (I also highly recommend this author’s Jack & Cas “dadstiel” fics, they’re equally lovely and heartbreaking at the same time.)
flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k) - THEE “What exactly did Dean eat in Purgatory, anyway?” fic you’ve probably already heard about. *cough* I’ve been trying to work up the courage to read this one for a while and finally gave in and OH MY CHUCK I’m so glad I did. It’s perversely disturbing and beautiful at the same time, Cas is wonderfully DERANGED and ALIEN in that way that I love it when fics managed to convey just how much angels are NOT human. Do heed the tags.
Full of Grace by ilovehowyouletmefall (11k) - Another one for the weird-as-fuck-angel!Cas lovers’ list. Heaven/canon-compliant fic where Dean knows he should feel happy and at peace but he just...isn’t, even with Cas and all of his friends and family there. He finally goes looking for Cas when he’s been absent for a time and, for the first time, gets to not just see but experience his true form. Another one that hits some kinks I knew I had and others I didn’t...until now. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
don't ask me where i've been by saltwound / @1x06 (8k) - I can never resist a good 09x06 fiction gap fic! What makes this one really stand out is how well it captures Cas’s internal voice - his struggles adapting to human senses, limitations and emotions versus what/how he experienced things as an angel. The longing and feelings between Dean & Cas here are so achingly beautiful and I just wanted to cry when Cas says he misses hearing Dean’s prayers, so Dean, he...oh, I’m not going to spoil it. *happy sigh* Just read it.
this room is wrong by DarkHeartInTheSky (12k) - Sometimes I like torturing myself with some good 15x03 divorce arc angst and this fic hit that button just so. It’s an alternative take on where Cas might have ended up after leaving the bunker and features some great Cas & Sam friendship feels, when Sam sets out to try to bring Cas home. It’s all the stuff you’d wish the writers would’ve let them talk out in canon.
Well that’s more than enough for this round! Go forth, read and give some great writers some kudos & comment love!
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The Snakes’ Deception
Fandom: Haikyuu!! (@aikk00's Racing AU)
Characters (in order of appearance): Kozume Kenma, Kuroo Tetsurou, Yaku Morisuke, Sakishima Isumi, Daishou Suguru, Fukunaga Shouhei, Yamamoto Taketora, Haiba Lev, other Nekoma members (not mentioned by name)
Warnings: Physical Violence, Language
Word Count: 2.2k
Summary: When the Snakes, led by Daishou Suguru, come to challenge Kuroo for the title of Drift King, the Nekoma Crew isn’t going to take that lying down. But when the Snakes start to play nasty, the stakes are raised even further, and Kuroo has to fight to stay calm and prove that he’s the undisputed champion.
[A/N: RIP my dozen other drafts for other stories. I actually was planning to write this a few days before the Daishou art (also by aikk00), except I knew practically nothing about drift racing so I needed to do research, lul. I watched Tokyo Drift, some Initial D, some Grand Tour, and did a lot of reading online on drift racing and drifting in general, but tbh, I still don’t quite understand the mechanics (I don’t drive stick and I can’t go out and learn how to drift), so I apologize if this is horribly inaccurate. :P]
"The road condition looks good today, but it's still a little wet from earlier. Watch yourself going into the turns so you don't end up spinning out. The Snakes will probably do something though, especially since they asked you to race with Sakishima before Daishou. It should be okay when you're in the lead, but be ready to take defensive measures when you're chasing. My guess is that they'll try to take advantage of your skill at closing the gap and your power-over drift to orchestrate some sort of accident," Kenma commented quietly without looking up from his laptop, his fingers tapping away as he inputted a continuous stream of data. He seemed oblivious to the roar of the crowd outside the car, and Kuroo reached over to tousle his black-and-gold hair affectionately.
"Got it, Kenma. Anything else?"
"I know you won't listen, but you should just go all-out from the start. Not your usual way of racing. But if you do end up chasing, just do a normal drift and keep space between you and Sakishima. If they are aiming for an accident, it's more likely to happen when you're on the outside, so it'll slam into your side and Sakishima will be safe. But your numbers look good. I'm just going to tell Yaku-san to put a little more air into your rear tires," Kenma replied, closing the lid on his laptop and pushing open the passenger-side door, letting the sound of cheering and taunts into the vehicle. After he'd left and closed the door, Kuroo rolled down his window to light a cigarette, letting the smoke drift out into the night sky. Kenma hadn't said anything that he hadn't expected--especially with regard to the Snakes--but it was always reassuring to get their analyst's perspective before a race. Kenma wasn't the type to get fired up like the rest of the crew, but that cool-headed analysis was part of the reason they were able to climb so high in the rankings despite not always having the best cars or the best drivers. The ridiculous title of "Drift King" that he'd somehow ended up with was the result of Kenma's work as much as his own.
Still, Kenma was right. Even if it meant getting into an accident, Kuroo didn't intend to change the way he drifted. Part of the thrill of these races was the pure adrenaline high from going fast, especially when there was the risk of injury or even death. It was the reason why he'd mastered the power-over drift so that he could keep accelerating through the turn, and swung close enough to his opponents during his chases to make them panic. Even against the Snakes and their underhanded dealings, he'd show them that his way of fighting was still better, no matter what they threw at him.
He looked up when a shadow fell over him as Yaku leaned over his open window, the electric pump in his hand.
"You're good to go, Kuroo. Go ahead and show off," Yaku shouted over the din. Kuroo nodded, flicking his cigarette out the window and rolling up the glass. Yaku stepped back as he revved the engine, pulling up to the starting line where Sakishima was already waiting. Unlike most racers, Kuroo preferred chasing from the start to throw his opponent off his game. Before he'd inherited the title of Drift King, he'd been known as the Comeback Kid for his knack for overcoming what was traditionally seen as an unfavorable position. But the psychological benefit of overtaking the opponent and the pressure it put on the other racer, in addition to his skill with his clean lines and sharp angles that allowed him to do so consistently, had eventually shot him to the top of the Tokyo drifting world.
At the signal, Sakishima peeled past the starting line, and Kuroo quickly shot after him, staying close to his tail as they sped down the course. Even though his heart was racing, his head was completely clear, every sense focused on the view just beyond his windshield. Both he and Kenma were confident that Sakishima wouldn't try anything until the turn, but that was no reason to relax, especially at the speeds that they were going. Still, nothing happened when they reached the first clipping point, and Kuroo's eyes narrowed as he quickly estimated the distances and speeds between their cars, making his calculations swiftly and throwing himself into a drift just a heartbeat after Sakishima.
And it was perfect. His hand rested casually on the wheel as his tires squealed, sending up plumes of smoke as the tail of his car whipped around the curve, flying nearly parallel to Sakishima. The Snake seemed rattled as he spun into the next turn, turning slightly wide as Kuroo effortlessly stuck to him, their cars nearly touching as Kuroo grinned. It was pretty clear already which of them was the better drifter, not that it had ever been a question.
He let the car carry itself into the third point with just a few adjustments on his side, almost laughing as Sakishima had to drag on his own wheel to make the turn. The perfect chance presented itself almost immediately, and he aimed for the gap in Sakishima's barely controlled swing. But then, suddenly, the other car was spinning out as the Snake overcompensated, an out-of-control, two-ton wrecking ball flying toward him.
Kuroo jerked his wheel, pulling himself out of the drift and spinning out himself, the two cars making donuts on the road until he couldn't tell left from right. But the ominous crunch of metal never came, and when his car finally screeched to a stop, Kuroo slapped himself out of the harness and kicked his door open, stepping out onto the asphalt and casting his glare out at the spectators, looking for one specific slit-eyed face in particular.
"Daishou!" he bellowed, stomping toward the crowd and seizing the Snake by the collar, dragging him over the barrier. "What the fuck was that?"
But the other man just stared at him, all wide-eyed innocence. "'What the fuck' was what, Kuroo-san? Isumi made a mistake. Everyone saw that. He's not used to wet roads, but that's why I asked you to run with him so he could get some practice, because you're the only one good enough to not get hurt if he really fucks up. Like he did."
"Don't give me that bullshit!" Kuroo spun and slammed Daishou onto the ground, making the Snake wince as his back made contact with the asphalt. "That trick had your slime smeared all over it. You wanted to use Sakishima to take me out so you'd win the next run by default. If I hadn't been expecting something like that from you, I'd probably be in an ambulance on my way to the hospital right now."
Sakishima had caught up to them and was now clinging to Kuroo's arm, trying to pull him off while babbling insincere apologies. Kuroo shrugged him off impatiently as Daishou's hands landed on his wrist, trying to make him let go, but Kuroo shook him like a terrier with a rat, the adrenaline and testosterone giving him an incredible high.
"Really, Kuroo-san. Ask anyone. They would all say that it's a normal accident," Daishou protested. "You know these kinds of things happen all the time. But you're okay, Isumi's okay. No harm, no foul, right?"
The crowd was murmuring in the background, but Kuroo couldn't hear what they were saying through the blood pounding in his ears. He was just drawing his fist back to punch that smarmy smile off the Snake's face when a deluge of water crashed over both of them. Sputtering, he looked up to see Shouhei holding an empty bucket, Kenma standing beside him.
"Cooled off, Kuro?" Kenma asked in his deadpan voice as he approached them. "Or should I ask Fukunaga to get another bucket?"
Kuroo grimaced, shaking the water out of his eyes and hair as he leaned back slightly, still not letting Daishou go. Kenma crouched beside him, speaking softly, so that the crowd couldn't hear.
"You know that the Snakes are just like this. To everyone else, this does look like a normal accident. If you go any further, you're the one that's going to get a bad reputation. Right now, we can still pass it off as the heat of the moment. Let him go, Kuro."
"Yeah, listen to your girlfriend, Kuro," Daishou taunted. Kuroo's expression shut down, and he drew back his arm again. But this time, Kenma clung to it, still hissing in his ear.
"Stop it, Kuro. You know that everyone says that. They've been saying it for years. It doesn't mean anything. Stop letting him get to you!"
Kuroo grimaced again, but he listened to Kenma, letting his friend quietly talk him down until he was calm enough to shove Daishou away and get up. Accepting a towel from Shouhei, he tousled his hair dry while glaring at Daishou, who got back to his feet with as much dignity as he could muster.
"Sakishima-san forfeited the run," Kenma continued, still talking in his flat, measured tone. "So you'll be up against Daishou later. Are you up to it?"
"Fuck yeah, I'm ready to beat his ass," Kuroo snarled, and Kenma nodded at Shouhei, who ran across the asphalt to retrieve Kuroo's car. They'd probably replace the rear wheels to be safe, and then Kenma would have to run his checks again, but when they were done, his car would be better than new and more than ready to run the cheating bastard into the ground.
He reached into his pocket to pull out his pack of cigarettes, bending over to accept Kenma's offer of a light, and took a deep drag to steady his nerves. Being emotional during a race was the fastest way to get a ride to the morgue, so he needed to re-center himself. By then, the rest of his team had caught up to him, and Tora's particularly heated spiel about Daishou and his team helped bleed away most of the anger as they walked back to the starting line. Kenma had slipped away at some point, and Yaku was nowhere to be seen, so they were probably working on the car while he settled down. Really, he didn't deserve his friends.
By the time they arrived back at the beginning, the cool night air had washed away the rest of his irritation, which was probably Kenma's intention in making him walk back with the others. Shouhei and Yaku had just finished installing new tires, and Kenma was hunched over his laptop again on the curb, only looking up briefly when Kuroo sat down next to him.
"Thanks."
Kenma shrugged, his face bleached by the light from his screen. "I'm just doing my job."
"I mean earlier."
Kenma shrugged again, and a comfortable silence settled between them, broken only by the clicking of the keyboard. The rest of the team was huddled around the car, making checks and occasionally bringing Kenma more numbers, gradually shifting to sit around their captain and his brain, filling the silence with their chatter as other drifters made their runs.
"Hey, wait! You're playing a game, Kenma!" Lev protested, peering over Kenma's shoulder. "What about the race?"
"Kuroo will be fine," Kenma replied calmly as Kuroo looked over at his screen too, which seemed to be displaying the view through a sniper's scope. "His car's fine, and Daishou wants to beat Kuroo. If he tries the same thing, it'll be suspicious, and even if he did, if Kuroo doesn't spin out again, then Daishou will lose. And Kuroo is better than him, so if he does try anything else, it'd be more likely that he'd mess up and Kuroo would still win. His best chance at this point is a fair fight, and that means Kuroo could drive laps around him all day."
Kuroo grinned, standing up and stretching. "Well then, I guess that's my cue to get ready. I'll see you all at the finish line."
He walked over to his car, standing by the driver's door and just running a hand over the shining, red exterior for a moment. Then, taking a deep breath, he got inside, strapping himself down. The familiar feeling of exhilaration that he got just before a run made him smile as he pulled into place behind the next pair of cars, watching out of the corner of his eye as Daishou pulled up next to him.
And then, soon enough, they were flying down the road, Kuroo chasing again, keeping the pressure on his opponent. As Kenma had said, there was no way for Daishou to beat him, and he proved that as he took the lead at the very first bend, hitting the edge perfectly while gunning his engine through the whole course, making the best run that he'd probably ever done and leaving Daishou in his dust. If it was possible, he was even sharper on the turns than he had been against Sakishima, pushing himself and his car to the utmost limit. And there was no better feeling than watching the Snake come up to him to shake his hand after his loss, smiling like it hurt his teeth.
"As expected of the Drift King. But it won't last forever. Someday, someone will knock you off that throne."
And Kuroo had smiled back, the smirk that he knew infuriated Daishou more than anything else.
"Come at me whenever you want. I'll beat you down every time."
[A/N2: This isn't KuroKen. They're just really good childhood friends, so Kenma knows how to calm Kuroo down because they've been part of each other's lives for so long, and Kenma in particular is good at paying attention to people. Kuroo gets pissed at Daishou for calling Kenma his "girlfriend" not because of the implication that he's "whipped" (because Kuroo is perfectly secure in his masculinity), but rather because I have a headcanon that Kenma got teased a lot for being "girly" (weak, thin, kinda androgenous, etc.) growing up, so Kuroo still gets upset when that's used to insult his best friend (even though Kenma honestly doesn't give a fuck). But they're not in a romantic relationship; they just spend a lot of time together.
Of course, if you wanna interpret it as KuroKen, that's your prerogative, but that wasn't my intention in writing this.]
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#hq#hq!!#hq racer au#fan fic#fanfic#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo tetsuro#kuroo#daishou suguru#daisho suguru#daisho#daishou#nekoma#mine#at least i finally wrote something lol
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FANFIC. LORD OF CHRISTMASLAND
Chapter 7
A few months after Charlie took Cassie and Millie away, his brothers-in-law Beatrice and Robert came looking for them. Beatrice was shocked as Cassie had not gone to her home, as Cassie had assured her that she planned to abandon, the good-for-nothing, of her husband since he was unable to provide them and they would go live with her. Beatrice was happy to receive them, she adored her little sister and her niece. Despite her regret, Beatrice had not yet managed to get pregnant and therefore her husband barely fulfilled his marriage duties.
Beatrice knocked on the door and yelled:
- Cassie ?! Millie! I am Beatrice.
"Let's go, they're not here," said her husband.
On the way home, Beatrice saw her mother's jewelry on a pawn shop sideboard. She yelled for her husband to stop and went inside the store, paid for the jewelry and took it away.
- Are they your mother's jewelry?
- Yes, definitely. I am told that a man brought them and that he was apparently in a great hurry to sell them. Surely that bastard Charlie Manx convinced Cassie to sell the jewelry.
- Maybe it was to buy food ...
Beatrice looked at him with disdain and said:
- It seems incredible that you do not know Manx. Charlie has always looked only for him. He's a fucking selfish man. But I worry about not hearing from my sister.
- Maybe they have gone on a trip, they will have gone to look for work or something ...
- Cassie would have told me ... I'm scared Robert ... I think Charlie may have hurt them. ..
- Beatrice, my dear, Charlie has never been my devotion but he has always been a very quiet man. But if he is not even able to raise his voice to Millie when she has done some mischief…. I even know of some colleagues who have ever raised their hands to their wives, but Cassie has never told you anything about Charlie doing it, has she?
- It's true, but ... I just have a bad feeling.
- Easy, everything will be known ...
But even Robert was beginning to have some doubts.
On the other hand, Charlie continued with his particular "crusade" against bad parents rescuing children and taking them to Christmasland. One night while observing a house, where a possible target lived, he saw a man who was familiar to him. Manx diverted his attention for a moment and paid attention to this man.
- Robert ... - he said, when he recognized his former brother-in-law.
Charlie kept looking at him and watched his brother-in-law go into a whorehouse. He was not too surprised, it must have been because his wife's harpy would not let himself be touched ... However Charlie was surprised when he saw Robert come out again, and this time dressed as a woman.
- By the nails of Christ!
Charlie watched in surprise as Robert made out with other men, allowed himself to be lasciviously touched, and even lifted her skirt to get sodomized. Charlie felt disgusted, above deviant, his brother-in-law was behaving like a whore.
When Robert was left alone, Charlie decided to take advantage of his brother-in-law's “perverted” behavior. He was going to extort money from that snotty one who had made fun of him. He approached with his Wraith silently and waved the headlights. Robert went there hoping it was another possible flirt, got into the car, realized at that moment that it was a British car, and told the driver, who was on the right side and did not recognize at first since the darkness hid his facial features:
- Well, where do you have to take me with this coach, darling?
- To a place to talk alone with my dear brother-in-law - Charlie said turning to him.
- Charles!
Robert wanted to leave but the Wraith had closed the door and there was no way to open it.
- Well, well, what a surprise I was. Bob, the perfect gift, the snooty one… he's a vulgar whore.- Charlie said maliciously
- Charlie ... I can explain ...
- Oh, don't bother, Bob. But now I understand why until now you have not had children with Beatrice. Simply because she disgusted you. You just got married to keep up appearances, right?
Charlie, for all you love. Say nothing ... you would break Beatrice's heart. You would destroy my career ... we would go to ruin ...
- As if the happiness of the bitter Beatrice mattered a lot to me ... but it would be very good for me if you made me a loan in exchange for my silence ...
- This is chantaje! You're like a damn vampire, as our father-in-law used to say! And to all that, where are Cassie and Millie?
- In Christmasland.
- What the hell is Christmasland?
- A place you will never see, because I would never take a degenerate, like you, there. Choose Bob, money or public prestige. By the way, how is your whore's name? - Said mocking
- Fanny ... I'll bring the money, I'll go get my checkbook.
Charlie's stomach turned upside down when he heard that Robert used the name of his mother's whore as a pseudonym, but he managed to hide it and opened the car door. After a few minutes, Robert dressed as a man came with his checkbook and gave Charlie a bearer check for $ 10,000.
-Wow , you really are desperate to keep your secret.
I hope this helps so that no one will ever know. Not Beatrice, not Cassie, not anyone.
- Of course. I swear I won't tell them anything.
Charlie drove away from town, but stopped in front of a newspaper and told one of the men that he was smoking outside and looked like a reporter.
- Hey, are you looking for news?
- I'm always receptive to anything that may be news, sir, what is it about?
- I think I have seen a famous lawyer disguise himself as a woman and offer to be sodomized.
- OMG! And who is it?
- That is your task, young man, investigate ... but do not reveal your source of information
Charlie left, after a few weeks he read the headline in a newspaper
"FAMOUS LAWYER KILLS HIMSELF WHEN IT IS DISCOVERED THAT HAS OFFERED AS WHORE"
Manx returned after a few weeks and saw her sister-in-law walking lost under the scornful stares of the people.
- You deserve it, Beatrice. Now you know what it feels like to be despised, right?
In the evening Charlie approached Beatrice and said:
- Beatrice?
- Charles ?! What are you doing here? Where is my sister? And Millie? They are fine?
- Sure woman. We went to look for work, I found a job at an amusement park. Do you want to come? They are there
Beatrice hugged him and said:
- Oh, Charles. Sorry, I misjudged you. And I never imagined such a thing from Robert.
- Neither I, dear sister, nor I… I found out from the newspaper. I was very shocked. I haven't told Cassie yet. You better tell her. Get in the car, let's go.
She nodded and got into the car. Charlie took her to Christmasland, and when they arrived a lot of children came to greet her. Beatrice watched longingly, until a familiar voice said:
- Aunt Beatrice!
- Millie! Oh my goodness! '' Beatrice hugged Millie, but she noticed something strange about her, she was deathly pale and cold as ice when she touched her.
- Auntie, I'm very happy here. I want you to play a game with me that I have made up.
- Millie, you're freezing, dear, let's go somewhere warm ...
"Guys, we're going to play a game I call" Scissors for the Drifter "... - Millie said. "She's the DRIFTER," he said, pointing at Beatrice with his sword.
Millie's eyes were flushed and reddish like an animal's, she jumped on her aunt and her fangs dug into Beatrice's shoulder, pulling the flesh and tearing it apart.
- Millie! Let go!
Beatrice managed to get up and run but was suddenly run over by the Wraith that stopped her short and knocked her to the ground. The children jumped and devoured her.
- Bon appetit, my little ones. - Manx said satisfied
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Creative Journal
7/12/20- Week 10
Sessions Themes: In this weeks session we looked at being alert to unexpected opportunities and different creative environments. The example we looked at when discussing the former was for the invention of the post-it note which i have bullet pointed as follows:
Designed by accident
Spencer Silver- trying to create “super strong” adhesive for use in aerospace industry
Creates an extremely weak adhesive- Acrylate Copolymer Microspheres
Arthur Fry heres of this in a seminar and decides it would make for a good non-residual bookmark
Post-it is born- Unsuccessful at first due to unfamiliarity but after work with free samples 90% of American households would go on to buy them.
We also looked at some creative environments from big companies such as google and Pixar, and discussed how our environment can impact on our creativity. Brad Bird of Pixar said “if you have a loose, free kind of atmosphere, it helps creativity.” in relation to the interesting working environments throughout Pixar, where employees are allowed to decorate their workspaces however they wish. I think this was an extremely interesting concept to think about, it’s one of those background things that you know to be true but don’t give a lot of thought. Recently with trying to do my uni work I’ve been driving myself up the wall a bit, and i think it’s to do with there being no clear work/rest divide now we have to work from home. I wake up, sit on my bed at my computer studying, watch a little Netflix before i go to bed and then sleep in the same bed I’ve been sat on all day. Hopefully once lockdown is lifted, I’m going to try and study in commons during the day time so i don’t get stuck in such a weird cycle.
DSD: This week for my do something different activity i have been working on my anxiety. Daily i leave for work at the same time and usually there are around 4 or 5 faces that i see every time. Sometimes as i pass them i smile, but often they dont see or smile back and i get so embarrassed, so I’m going to take the initiative and start saying “hello” as i pass them. One of them in particular, i know we have the same employer because of our uniforms but assume we must work different shifts, ALWAYS blanks me which is particularly disheartening to me, so once I’ve cracked that I’ll be golden. I know it’s silly but I’ve given some of them nicknames based on description in order to feedback to the boys i live with regarding my success.
Inspiration: Some interesting media I’ve been looking at recently is early 2000′s British sit-coms. I’ve been trying to find something i can watch on Netflix that makes for good “passive viewing”. It’s unlike me to have any more than 2/3 series’ on the go at any one time because my attention spam would not allow for it. I like to watch one series that’s long and in depth but with something shorter and more light-hearted for when i just want something on in the background or if I’m not feeling like paying too much attention. I hate American lifestyle TV SO MUCH, it’s one of those things i feel like I'm watching to laugh at not participate with, and especially American comedy I have to be in a very specific state of mind to try and enjoy it. As much as i hate to admit it, my friends always say i like “boomer humour” because of the way i communicate with older people and the type of jokes i like to tell. It’s not that i think my taste is “mature”, it’s most likely that i virtually grew up down the pub surrounded by people my parents’ age. I don't understand a lot of the older pop culture references but i find myself laughing at silly “mum humour” often, it’s just not something I’ve ever thought to pursue in terms of the media i consume. I’ve been watching things like Teachers and Spaced on Netflix and i love the witty dry humour so much. The only reason these kind of shows stand out to me against newer sit-coms also is the pacing of the jokes. I’ve been trying to watch some modern sit-coms on Netflix too such as Drifters and Crashing and the humour is so much more obvious. It’s like something will happen in front of you and then, just to make sure you got the joke, a character will explain what you just saw.
I find early 2000s TV particularly interesting because of the stark differences in social attitudes between now and then. For example, I know socially that LGBT+ issues have progressed so much in the past few years, however it’s so much easier to pinpoint these progressive peaks through TV. The stereotyping of the “gay best friend”, or “trendy gay” tropes, with people asking questions like “who who is the man in the relationship?” It’s not that they’re being overtly homophobic, but it’s so crazy that these kind of cliché’s were socially acceptable not even that long ago.
All that being said, as i mentioned in my last post with the rise of the y2k trend i could just enjoy this under the influence of the aestheticism of the 90′s and early 2000′s, but even so, it makes for good tv.
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Street Sects interview with Ad Libitum.
A interview with Street Sects, originally published in Polish in the Ad Libitum zine.
Interviewer: Lidia Kowalski
1) In one interview, you stated that Rat Jacket was kind of "transition point" for you. Was it only in musical kind of meaning or was it also concerning lyrical content? What kind of "topics" will be brought up on the newest album?
Leo Ashline - Mostly it was a musical transition point. I tend to approach lyric writing from a song to song basis, depending on how the music that Shaun sends me makes me feel at the time. Shaun was introducing a lot of melody on that EP, twitching guitars, slightly more patient structuring, and some really sad, melancholy synth work, so the words reflect those things. Lyrically, the thematic connective tissues of Rat Jacket are trust, betrayal, and regret. It differed from End Position in that it was less hateful and nihilistic, albeit only slightly.
On The Kicking Mule there are a lot of different themes at play. The record is more of a collection of vignettes than it is any kind of concept record. A lot of the songs are incredibly personal. “Birch Meadows, 1991” is about my parents divorce, and “Everyone’s at Home Eventually” deals in part with my love/hate relationship with alcohol, and how it has always been first and foremost a symptom of my fear and anxiety. Other songs, like “Chasing the Vig” and “The Drifter” are my feelings and experiences filtered through my love for crime noir writing, much like “Featherweight Hate” was on End Position.
2) Firstly, you have been working on making your project into a "total aesthetics" one. What exactly does it mean, what does it involve? And is it possible that one day it will go beyond simply music and visuals?
LA - An old friend of mine impressed this idea upon me about a decade or so ago. To me it means having all of the facets of your work (the music, the visuals, the words, the live performance, etc) coalesce into a unified or singular aesthetic. I think our work as a whole speaks pretty clearly to that intent. And yes, I do think it can and (hopefully) will seep into other mediums. Time will tell.
3) Concerning the visuals - on almost all of the covers of your releases, a silhouette of woman which (imo) symbolises death, can be seen. Does her presence mean simplz that death, or a thought of it, is present through full duration of your life, or does her symbolical role differ? What's your view on that?
LA – Death, or “Lizzy”, as we call her, represents different things in different images. In the original Gentrification seven inches, she represented the culture, the color that gets pushed out and washed over when a neighborhood is gentrified. People want to destroy what they are afraid of. People are afraid of what they don’t understand. Death, like diversity, scares certain people. Lizzy was beautiful, and look what you did to her. Now you can drink your fucking pour over coffees and your fifteen dollar craft cocktails in clean, vanilla scented, color-free comfort. Happy?
In other images, she is the voyeur. She is watching, waiting, refusing to participate or interfere because she knows better. She knows how it’s going to end, one way or another, so she may as well sit back and enjoy the show. In other images she is the chauffer, our guide from here to there. In those instances I’d like to think that she represents hope, optimism, and a chance at finding something more meaningful than what we have allotted ourselves this time around.
4) You have once told about that there were periods in your life, where your only motivation to get up was music you got to make. Has making music had a cathrarctic, self-therapic role for you? Or maybe it played a part and made you see anything else in life worth living for only a bit?
LA - I think maybe a bit of both. Focusing so intently upon negative energy can be therapeutic in that the negativity can, on a good day, become something purposeful. It can be a tool to be utilized rather than a weight or a burden. And yes, certainly touring, meeting people, being fortunate enough to see your work have an effect on others, all of that can be incredibly rewarding. It can sometimes help to restore that lack of faith in the whole thing. But most of the time, unfortunately, it isn’t enough. You reach down and try to dig for that feeling, and it just isn’t there. Shaun and I do what we can to keep pushing each other forward, and I think that we are fortunate to have that dynamic. I see a lot of people, artists, who struggle to make it on their own, and it’s such an uphill battle. Trying to dodge depression, rejection, self-doubt, and a constant lack of encouragement all while pushing yourself creatively can quickly become a bleak and impossibly lonely road. It’s hard to blame people for wanting to walk away from that.
5) Well, it is obvious becouse of your experiences and feelings, but in your music you often display the darkest, most ugly side of live. You had your fair share of really awful times, but here comes the question: what, do you think, has the most power to destroy a human: his surroundings or him alone?
LA - That’s a pretty big question, and honestly I don’t think I’m really qualified to answer that, at least not in any kind of broad sense. Speaking for myself, I blame the majority of my hardships, past and present, on my own poor decisions. I’ve had a lot of opportunity, and I have wasted almost all of it. Now I’m playing catch up, and I’m still paying for a lot of those mistakes. I used to move around a lot, different cities…different states. Wherever I went I kept fucking up. I don’t think my surroundings had much to do with it.
6) There are a lot of people in the world that live in their safe world, completely unaware of what can be happening three steps from their home, completely unaware of how depression feels. Do you see "consciousness" as a value? Would you rather be totally blind, but happy?
Shaun Ringsmuth: Consciousness is something I've had to teach myself to value. Of course, the mind records what's happening whether you appreciate it or not, but it might be to one's advantage to find a place of calm before blowing one's brains out, or worse having one's brains blasted by another person. Violence like that, either way, always scares me, because of how little value is placed on the moments, whether it's sentiment between two people or the greatest speech ever being spoken--it all seemingly becomes a waste staring at the barrel of a gun. On this topic, I would recommend Viktor Frankle's book Man's Search for Meaning. It is with great luck that tragedy doesn't happen to a person, and of course that begs the questions of how to live, why, and what for. Arguably it is better to try to live with purpose, and if that purpose is found to then not diminish it with negative self-talk, or rot away on drugs and alcohol, and to not take out on other people one's personal sense of injustice. With the creation of art, a sense of purpose can be easily associated, because it is often self-created and comes from a place of inner truth. Even in collaboration, like with me and Leo in Street Sects, we share what we can, go our separate way for a while, and then come back with we've found. Sometimes this is a song, or a new image, or a lyric, but whatever it is the aim of these created things is to give time--time being the only thing we ever really own--a story, a way of relating the human experience, which with any luck gets passed on long after we're dead. However, to get back to your question, is it better to be totally blind but happy: that's not for anyone else to say but yourself. You have to step away from your everyday reality for a number of minutes and ask yourself, Is this who I am, is this what I want? And then change the "why" to the "how"--as in, not "why am I doing this," but "how am I going to do this."
LA - Do I see a consciousness as a value? I can’t imagine any artist or musician answering “no” to that question. If I was “totally blind, but happy” I don’t think I would have much use for art or music as a creative outlet, because I doubt that I would have anything interesting to say. Pain and despair, like death and diversity, are a part of life.
7) On "The Defence of Resentment", you start by listing some of the fears you have. However, is there any particular fear that is close to you the most, that haunts you, if I can say it this way, "personally"?
LA - My biggest fear is the fear of being a failure, of having wasted my life. To reach the end and have to own up to the fact that I could have done so much more, that I could have tried harder, done better. The potentiality of that kind of regret is terrifying.
8) In one interview, you said that being sincere while writing lyrics isn't enough, it is also a matter of finding a unique perspective. In what way you see your perspective as unique?
LA: Everyone’s perspective is unique, not just mine. However, not everyone is able to communicate their perspectives in a way that does justice to their particular experience. Art takes form, and we look to preexisting forms as influences and guideposts for our own work. Even the most abstract artists are often hard-pressed to outrun the shadows of artists who came before them. With my writing I try to focus on expressions of sincerity and honesty, and try to couch those expressions in a form that appeals to my inner critic. I don’t want anything that I write to have the stink of familiarity or nostalgia. It has to be clear that there was an effort made to approach the work from a fresh perspective. Whether I’m successful in that or not is not really for me to say, but the effort is there.
9) Do you think that we, as a human kind, have a tendency to run away from thing we'd be better off not knowing? What we escape most frequently in modern world?
SR: Some of us, yes. I've known and admired people in my life who have preferred truth in every instance. I was not one of those people. I wanted escapism and fantasy, some of which was self-destructive. Not wanting reality exactly as it is can also lead to creativity: novels, movies, music, paintings, architecture. Attempting to see reality as it is, and attempting to see reality as better than it is--these are worthy pursuits. Lately, I'm finding what's most important from day to day is knowing exactly what one thinks and feels, followed by deliberate action. Like, really stopping all movement and asking what's going on. It's the only way to care for oneself and for others. It is worth taking the time to breathe deeply, look around, and be in that very moment of reality, because that's the best chance to really see and to create. This is easier said than done, of course, because one wakes up and all the shit from yesteryear is right there, and nothing seems good enough and nobody is kind. Everyday one has to make a choice of how to live.
10) On "Rat Jacket", I can feel a distinction, yet a weird relationship between abrasive mechanisation and a "human side" to this music (by which I mean post-industrial melodic hooks). Do you think that the same kind of connection between pure human soul and that what is cold and obcure can be found?
SR: Yes! Though, I would add that every Street Sects recording has attempted this connection between warm human melody and cold machine sounds. Humans have the gift (and burden) of being self-aware, unlike other animals, and with that comes the urge to name, to conceptualize, to make meaning where there seemingly isn't one. It's how people come to such wildly different interpretations over pieces of abstract art. The less a piece is controlled by labels the more room a person's mind has to dream. Even if something begins with a narrative or directive, it can take a turn for the surreal and then allow more headroom for the spectator. We see this in Ingmar Bergman's films. We see this in John Barth's novels. We feel this in Harold Budd's music. Any abstraction of course does ask participation of the listener/viewer, and not everyone wants that experience. Sometimes all we want is escape. Creating these things can get complicated, but it doesn't have to be a single extreme choice, thus the use of melody or a relatable narrative coursing through abstract imagery.
On "In Prison, at Least I Had You" I wrote a fairly abstract intro. Originally it was supposed to go toward a split release with the Cincinnati band Curse. Some
of their songs have slow, doomish metal-inspired parts, so I wrote what I thought would complement that. When the song starts, it's all bits of sound, total collage work, which eventually flows into what I hoped would be doomish metal tempo, followed by the main portion of the song itself. The final version you hear on Rat Jacket didn't come out as I intended, at least the intro part before the wind-up sound that kicks off the song, but I spent a lot of time on that intro collage part, really feeling out those sounds, connecting them, making sure they had the right rhythm in the mix. The intention of that song in particular serves the human/machine dynamic, I think.
11) During the times of "Gentrification" you said that you don't exactly write lyrics, but rather do some kind of stream of consciousness resolved around central topic. Are you still working like that?
LA: No. With the Gentrifiction singles there were these pieces of micro-fiction that I had written to accompany the records, these sort of journals from characters who were caught in the crossfire of social displacement. Those pieces were the core of the writing, and the “lyrics” were more guttural abstractions of those pieces. Since End Position, my approach to lyric writing has been more traditional and meticulous.
12) Also, many times when you were asked about your process of creation, you mentioned talking with each other a lot about it. What were those conversations about? I don't mean to dwell to deep, just the general.
SR: Leo and I don't sit down and work out songs on instruments together. We tend to talk through the parts, and later I work them out in the instrumentation. This is why I sometimes only write a snippet of a song, maybe one minute or two. I'll send it over to him to think about, and he'll often listen to the pieces in his van. The conversations, on the whole, cover a long period of time in our friendship, to my mind, because he and I have been talking about music since we first met in 2002. Sometimes in talking about a current thing we're working on, we'll reference a ten-year-old conversion about a band or song. It breathes new life into old ideas.
13) This question can be a bit personal, and even if your music and lyrics are generally confessional, I'll understand if you don't answer. What's you experience with the spiral of self-hate? What makes it worse and harder to escape (if it is possible at all)? How do you experience it, can you desribe in your own, abstract way?
LA: I don’t mind answering. My relationship with self-hate probably began around the time my parents got divorced, in 1991. I put on a lot of weight and it made my life harder in terms of school, peers, and my interest in the opposite sex. I have struggled with having a negative body image my entire life, and it has greatly effected my self esteem, my confidence, and my overall mental health. These issues in turn led to eating disorders, isolating myself from other people, and self medicating with alcohol and drugs. The chemical dependencies then in turn created a maelstrom of other problems, culminating in extreme and obsessive self destructive thoughts and behavior. Fixation on suicide as a solution, which is still a huge part of my mental framework, unfortunately. I feel like I have been trying to work backwards through these problems for a long time now, but the root problems are still there. Getting off drugs and alcohol was only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the mountain of work I still have in front of me. What makes it worse is inertia. Sitting around. Not doing anything. I have to keep busy with the band. I don’t go to therapy, and I stopped attending (AA) meetings years ago. Street Sects is the only real cure I have found. I don’t know what I would do without it.
14) This will be less of a question and more of a confirmation (or denial) of my predictions. On your lyrics to "In Prison, At Least I Had You", there is a fragment that says "I'm holding the same position". Is it reffering to title of your debut LP, "End
Position"?
LA: Yep. Nice catch!
15) And finally. How are you feeling these days? Is life quite OK? I wish you the best, honestly.
SR: I am now almost two years sober, so my feeling about things in general is one of hope. Without sounding corny here, I really want to live with passion, put all the ideas into the music, and try to connect with people along the way. When I drank, i drank to black out and forget myself, and I lived that way from about 14 to 32 years of age. There was so much self-loathing, trepidation, anxiety in my life. I was afraid of everything. These days I try not to take anybody or anything for granted. I let people know that I love them and that they are loved, which is something I couldn't do pretty much my whole life. I'm grateful that I'm still making music with my best friend, Leo, and I truly believe our best work is still to come.
Thank you, Lidia, for listening and looking into our music, and for taking the time to interview us.
LA: I’d be lying if I said that I feel good more often than not. Staying positive is a constant struggle. But I have a lot to be grateful for, most of all this band and my friendship with Shaun. I’m also extremely grateful for my mother, who helped me get sober, for the small handful of friends I have, and for everyone who has ever supported Street Sects in any way. Thanks for the interview, Lidia. Sorry it took us so long to get these answers back to you.
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⭐star⭐ waffle at me about your favourite lines youve written
ohhh friend you have opened a pandoras box and i hope you are ready also thank you aha
so i started…….. picking some lines and made the Executive Decision to just do one fic because i was planning on doing a couple from a handful of fics but turns out im far too prone to waffling about this kind of stuff because i love picking things apart and figuring out why they work because i love fuckign words and the things they evoke and stuff so yeah this is just some fave lines from most recent fic, requital.
this was part of a ‘directors cut’ writer thing and if anyone has any more prompts, feel more than free to send them my way!
Requital, Chp. 1:
His honesty, wrapped tightly underneath a chivalrous act; a throwaway comment to soften the exposure of such a question, draws her closer.
She kisses him, and hopes that even though the motion is countless in the amount of times they’ve come together, that the answer is plain enough. A claim, she hears her own words in her head, tasting the tobacco of his morning cigarette on her tongue, the warmth of the pull at his hands on her hips.
so whilst i cant say this section was directly inspired by the ecdysis book, what i can say is that there is definitely some influence going on here, in particular these two lines from the page ‘synesthesia’:
“Wu Ming is a bonfire in the darkness, and she crawls toward his warmth.”
“Wu Ming leaves his questions by the wayside as he is drawn inexorably into the gravity well of her desperate honesty.”
and thats not something i realised until i was writing the final draft, and im pretty pleased with myself considering not only is requital going to examine some of the similarities between avia and drifter, but also the fact that ecdysis is probably my favourite book. i mean…… ‘drawn inexorably into the gravity well of her desperate honesty’ what the FUCK KIND OF LINE its gorgeous i cant deal with it or this book or this page or how desperately gorgeous the tragedy of drifter and orins relationship is
also…… look. im a hopeless romantic. always have been, probs always will be, so when i say avia and rook are soulmates i mean it in the cheesiest way possible. right before this is rook feeling a bit self-conscious about the whole awoken engaging thing, and theres no way avia can actually put into words how irrevocably in love she is with rook. so she kisses him, and hopes beyond hope that she can put those feelings into motions if not words. i also enjoy the small bit of possessiveness that came out of her too, because the whole ‘claim’ thing with the awoken was there since the first draft but this section came in the final edit, she thinks of it so casually but when she goes on to say that she’d actually duel anyone who came between them i…….. would not put it past her to be 100% down to do that.
rook isnt a bonfire in the darkness, he’s an anchor in the deep, a solid tether when the sea becomes a storm.
(ayyy where the FUCK WAS THAT WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS)
Requital Chp. 2:
Here’s the thing, if you’ve gone through the trouble of decrypting this (a fortified certain-eyes-only encryption that took me a couple of hundred years to perfect, thank you very much), it at least means you’re interested, so hear me out.
i like this line a lot, for a few reasons. drifter knows avia well enough at this point to be well acquainted with her temper and lack of time for dealing with his nonsense. it’s the first flick of the coin between the two of them, drifter laying the proverbial gauntlet down and at the end of the day, its up to her whether or not she picks it up.
and she does, avia asks levi to decrypt it, and the first thing she sees is drifter acknowledging that shes done so and asking her to at least hear him out. he’s kind of caught her out, and she can respect that even if thats not at the forefront of her mind. avia also has her own brand of curiosity when it comes to people like the drifter, so this is kind of the first inkling of that. and it also (i hope) makes you wonder if drifter is aware of that curiosity that she has, if he sent the message decrypted on purpose to get her interested.
She smiles at the note, throws her legs over the bed and stretches around a yawn. Five minutes later, Levi puts her in her armour.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stick around?” The Ghost asks. “We don’t have anything urgent to do. There’s breakfast here.”
Avia hums, considering. She moves into the kitchen, glances over the fridge, the cupboards. She looks then onto the sofa, the sprawled pillows, untidy blankets. Suddenly the armour on her body feels heavy, out of place, like the metal has no right being somewhere like this.
“No. I’m not hungry, let’s go.”
“Okay,” Levi says in that tone of voice that lets her know they aren’t buying it. “Should we walk, or transmat?”
Avia notices the balcony door is still open. She walks over and closes it, the streets barely alive as one or two civilians walk to and fro, glancing idly at each other as they pass. “Transmat.”
avia immediately makes an comment about being all domestic with rook in chapter 1. its just not something that suits her in her own mind, and that line (even though i havent waffled about it bc dear god theres too much here already) was something i immediately knew i wanted if i was going to write a day of domestic bliss with her and her fiance, because i knew it’d be a hard thing for her to just get on with like a normal person aha.
so, we get this part in chapter 2. the domestic bliss is over, and what avia knows best, what shes always known best, is a set of armour and getting back to work. however this part of herself contradicts that which she’s experienced for the past day, and especially the line ‘Suddenly the armour on her body feels heavy, out of place, like the metal has no right being somewhere like this.’ i put in to really reinforce that idea. its not the metal that feels out of place in this scene, its the person in the metal. and her eagerness to transmat straight to the tower rather than walk through the peaceful city streets shows her tendency to run from such thoughts.
this part came really naturally, actually. its a small snapshot into a bigger struggle avia has with herself (especially given the dreaming city, the reef, petra and now potentially going back to the worst part of the shore with drifter) of where she belongs, and more importantly, if she deserves to belong. which is why levi talks to her in that tone because they know what shes doing, theyve seen it so many times before – avia in a scenario that resembles something normal and running from it with no one around to stop her, because in her subconscious she doesnt believe she deserves it.
“Ada-1, I believe, has fully settled into the Tower. She becomes more and more tolerable of the Guardians by the day. And with the discovery of Niobe labs, her mood has been favourable.”
i had no idea how fun scarlet was to write until i got to this part. she almost has her own language, really. writing ‘im really proud of ada because i spent all morning with her and she was only snippy with like two guardians and shes been really uplifted and im really happy for her since they found niobe labs’ in scarlets own ‘okay but heres the relevant information’ way of explaining things is a challenge but FUN. like, really fun??
because scarlet wouldnt be mentioning adas mood if she didnt care, ya know? and its not that she cant say that longer thing about being proud and stuff, its just that she doesnt see the sense in it and its not important information. like, if avia and eden were to spend a dedicated amount of time whittling her down she would absolutely say ‘i am so proud of ada and also i wanna smooch her face how do i do that as an exo’ but its just not a thing for her. but part of the reason why ada and scarlet being together was an idea that i had was because i imagine that line of thinking probably suits ada.
“It was at Ada’s request. I had more knowledge of the area in its current state, and felt more comfortable talking to Ikora and her Hidden agents than Ada did…”
supportive exo girlfriends. that is all. man ive gotta write more about these two
“Hmm,” Ada wears a concerned stare masked behind a formal rigidity that Avia knows her Warlock teammate best for.
if im being honest, i just really enjoy this line. i imagine its hard for exos to show concern, esp a character like ada and my girl scarlet, so avia has spent a lot of time dissecting certain facial cues and yeah im proud of how this description came out aha
…as if she hadn’t spent the past few months clipping sidelong comments and threatening him when his Gambit veered out of the realm of her control.
avia is a control freak. plain and simple, and i wanted to make that as obvious as possible considering this sentence is only a few away from avia choosing to go and talk to drifter.
there’s a certain amount of ‘i need to understand this thing that i have limited knowledge on so i can predict/control/plan for it in the future’ in how avia views drifter in general, its a kind-of warlock way of thinking about things but the big difference is avias need for control in these situations is a) selfish and b) only applies to things that she knows she has a good chance of understanding/taming. shes not going around learning about the hive because she has a good understanding that thats a cosmic threat that can only be defended against until it comes. drifter on the other hand is on her doorstep.
i also really loved the contradiction in putting ‘gambit’ and ‘control’ next to each other in a sentence, i kinda hoped it showed how conflicted avia is about going and talking to drifter, and maybe even how naive it is of her to think that it could turn out okay.
She was incensed, maybe, at the way he spoke to Ada, needed to go and stomp the idea out of his head but he got her talking, like he does
i like this line bc its avia acknowledging that she knows how shes viewed. she knows everyone sees her as a hot-head, she knows her anger veers away from her sometimes and whilst she’s gotten better at getting a handle on it, it’s still an aspect of her that people who dont know her well enough find it hard to get past.
i also enjoy how new people to this fic/avia in general might not know that this is a big part of her? so she’s trying to use it as an excuse, ‘well no one can blame me if i say i got really mad because thats what i do’ and it (hopefully) tells new people about that aspect of her character without having to show the worst part of it, the convo with ada being an introduction to it i guess – especially since the past few scenes have seen her a lot softer than im used to writing aha.
“Dammit,” she mutters under her breath. And walks towards the Drifter before she can make a better decision
fun fact – this line was originally ‘and walks down the corridor before she can make a better decision.’
i changed it because i wanted to make it more obvious that avia is making a conscious decision to choose drifter, that she’s walking towards a path that she knows is not a good idea. it provides foreshadowing for the allegiance quest and referring to him as ‘The Drifter’ cements it as an idea that she’s walking towards and not necessarily a person.
#ask thing#thanks buddy!!!#this was really fun#im such a fucking nerd someone put me in the bin honestly ahahaha#jadeisadork.txt
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stick shift
A couple of things happened this year: I got married, and I started watching a lot of tennis.
Previously I never watched any sport. I never thought about it at all. It was one huge region of human experience that I had quietly screened out of my brain. I try to do active things as often as I can, but they tend to be solitary, non-competitive: swimming, yoga, hiking. Ever since school I had maintained a disinterest in sport that was partly born out of contempt. Football in particular still looms so large over British culture, and I never liked the vast ugly circus of it.
My wife suggested we get tickets to the Queen's tennis tournament in London this summer. I thought it'd be an interesting one-off experience, if nothing else; Queen’s one of the few serious competitions to be played on grass, and it's typically used by some of the top male players as a precursor to Wimbledon. And so we went, and it was great.
Going to see it played at a high level focussed my attention on what actually happens on a tennis court. I began to understand the scoring, even if it still seemed unnecessarily baroque. But it was also the quiet intensity of the experience during play. The actual speed, height and angle at which those balls move, and the accuracy and skill required to serve, predict and return them. The strange balance of calm, tension and catharsis with which each point is received.
After that we watched a lot of Wimbledon on TV. One thing worth noting about Wimbledon is that like all the Grand Slams, players compete over the best of five sets, rather than three (as at Queen's). A three set match can be done in a little over an hour, if one player is dominant, or it could go for three hours. A five set match can last much longer, especially if the rules forbid a tiebreak in the final set. One match between John Isner and Kevin Anderson this year lasted over six and a half hours in a single afternoon.
It's a curious feeling to sit down and watch something where the duration is entirely outside of my control. If I sit down to read a book or play a video game, there's no time limit; the only constraint is my patience, or the little voice that tells me I ought to be doing something else. Movies and TV shows are different in the opposite sense, and like them, most sports take place in a very tightly defined window of time. Tennis, like cricket or baseball, is different. Until recently there was nothing in my life that demanded my close attention while also saying neither of us can know when this is going to be over.
This is interesting to me because it goes against my instincts for compartmentalisation. I can't really do anything else while watching tennis. I can only guess at when it's going to finish. Despite the lengthy periods of downtime when the players aren't scoring points, there's no pause long enough to maintain concentration on anything else. So I need to watch it, or not. And it's nice sometimes to have a block of insistent time where you are effectively forced to relax, and to direct your attention towards one little corner of the world.
I had an economics teacher once who had made up a little theory about sport. He believed that the more difficult it was to score, the more passionate (and potentially violent) the fans would become. Perhaps there's something in this: everyone knows those wild scenes amongst football fans when a longed-for goal arrives in style.
Tennis occupies a strange middle point in this regard. Scoring is a constant necessity, since every serve or rally must be won by someone – even if it is only because the other player makes a mistake. But the game offers no bonus points for playing well. The value of the world's most beautiful backhand volley can be cancelled out in a momentary error.
This is not to say that every point is of equal value: the point that breaks an opponent's serve, or wins a match, is vital. But given that each match might feature over a hundred points, we cannot point only to those milestones – which might represent fewer than ten points – and say that only they mattered. The best players seem to play every point as if it were a break.
By the logic of my old economics teacher, the game ought to be entirely sedentary, but as it turns out, tennis fans can be pretty loud. The fans of the biggest players can be loudest of all. I realised this while watching Roger Federer play Kei Nishikori at the Paris Masters a few weeks ago; at one point, the two came close together at the net, and Kei fired a powerful volley straight into Roger's body that was too fast for him to block. Federer flinched as the ball hit him, and the arena crowd suddenly erupted into a chorus of booing. You’ve hurt our precious boy, they were saying. It was awful.
Emotional affect is the one region of sport that still escapes me. There are players I enjoy watching, but I’m not especially attached to any of them. It’s difficult to see how anyone could be. Nationalism doesn’t really come into it: the top players seem like hyper-privileged global drifters, barely representative of anything except themselves. They put on a show somewhere, then they move on.
And they never really stop. The season is longer than any other sport, with tournaments running from January to the ATP Finals in mid-November. Those ‘Finals’ are absurdly named; they are not really the end of anything, any more than a regular Friday is a ‘Final’ day at work. They’re only the last opportunity a player has to set their ranking for the year — and why bother with that? To defend it next year, of course.
It’s dizzying to think of the thousands of talented men and women who work for years and will never achieve more than perhaps a quarter final appearance at a Grand Slam. From time to time I’ll stumble on an article about a player who was regarded as the next big thing a few years ago, only to slip further down the rankings until they fall entirely out of the public eye.
I wonder if I find it necessary to maintain a degree of distance from these players simply because I know it would be so easy for most of them to simply stop, at any moment – either through injury or illness, or just through hitting a wall in their ability which says: this far and no further. Tennis must be one of the most brutal of all sports in terms of the strain it places on any one individual. It’s easy to admire the ability of the people who play it, but as a way of life, there’s something monstrous about it.
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Interview with Ash vs. Evil Dead writer Bryan Edward Hill.
I wrote my first article on NAQB with pain in my heart. After spending years hoping for a fourth installment of Evil Dead, three years ago the announcement of the Ash vs Evil Dead pilot directed by Sam Raimi, (that Sam Raimi) and written by Sam, Ivan Raimi and Tom Spezialy… the same authors of the Evil Dead Trilogy was made.
After I watched the trailer with my closest friend we thanked God, hoping that it was not a farce, or a revival made only for money. Then we saw the pilot, in silence, with our eyes wide open. At the end of it, we looked at each other and we both thought the same thing: Evil Dead is back in the best way possible.
During that episode we got so excited by the absurdness of it, the intense thrilling sequences, the over the top humor and that pure horror that kept us glued to the screen since we were kids.
Raimi’s direction explains the Evil Dead world so well in a particular scene featuring the character of Amanda Fisher. She faces off against the demon who possesses the girl Ash had a one night stand with.
At one point, this creature gets up when her brain is decimated and looks Amanda in the eyes telling her, “We know who you are.”
After that point, the rules are clear: Deadites are not decaying Zombies, every deadite requires attention and details. Deadites are not the result of a virus.
When evil shows up again, Ash Williams tries to run away from it because he’s tired of facing it. His neighbor Vivian delivers a message to him when she is possessed, “It is time to test the mettle of man.”
Yeah… These three years were a test for Ash to prove his mettle. The Dictionary defines mettle as the “courage to carry on.” If someone wants to “test your mettle,” they want to see if you have the heart to follow through when the going gets tough.
It is no coincidence that The Mettle of man is also the title of the last episode of Ash Vs Evil Dead.
Ash vs Evil Dead has been canceled. What leaves me bitter about this turn of events is the fact that this series was created to make the fans happy. Now, these same fans have also contributed to the end of the series.
The Mettle of Ash, The Mettle of Bruce Campbell, a man who in order to please his fans, decided to take the risk of revisiting his iconic character 30 plus years later.
If I meet Bruce Campbell one day, I hope I never mention anything about Ash’s universe, I’d rather go in the woods to talk about nature than to mention Evil Dead to him. As a fan, I feel guilty about asking him anything about Sam Raimi and the Necronomicon, because in the end he gave us what we wanted and we failed to respond in kind.
The following is an interview conducted a couple of days before the announcement of the cancellation of the series.
The interviewee is Bryan Edward Hill, screenwriter of the episode Rifting Apart, the eighth episode of the series directed by Mark Beesley (the director of 2×07: Delusion).
I consider this episode to be one of the best in the series, so I decided to contact Bryan on Twitter who was kind enough to answer my questions. There are no questions about the cancellation.
This interview was made in collaboration with Emanuele Crivello of Evil Dead Italia (I will never stop thanking him for the last three years we spent talking about this series and doing everything we could to get it renewed. Also, thank you to the #bringbackboomstick movement designed by Susan Leighton) and the comics portal Lo Spazio Bianco (which dedicated an article to Bryan Hill and his career in the world of comics) and you can read the second part on the blog at the end of the interview.
NAQB: We interviewed the Meza Brothers, and we have discovered that they are hardcore fans of Evil Dead. How much and how did you know the Evil Dead franchise before starting to work on this episode?
Bryan E. Hill: Quite a bit, actually. When I was a kid, EVIL DEAD was that hard to find, completely insane horror movie that only the local, family-owned video store had. Watching it felt like I was watching something that was impossible. It had so much energy and creativity. Instantly, I was a fan of the franchise. I even wore a blue shirt for a little while. Had to be like Ash.
NAQB: AVED has always had a respectable soundtrack, was the music chosen during the script writing process or later in production? And how were The Drifters, MC5s and AC / DCs chosen for Rifting Apart?
Bryan E. Hill: That’s all show-runner Mark Verheiden. He’s got great taste in music, and he knew what he wanted to highlight the moments in that story.
NAQB: The scene in which Pablo fights in the hardware store alone gave me a shiver down my spine making me think of the S-mart Ending of Army of Darkness. Is it possible to read a piece of the script, with your comment?
Bryan E. Hill: I’d love to, but we have to keep the scripts under wraps. I will say that part of the fun with ASH vs EVIL DEAD is figuring out how to slay deadites in the coolest ways. It’s impossible to go into a store with a paint shaker and not think about putting a deadite’s head in it. At least it is for me, hahaha.
NAQB: Rifting Apart is one of the very few episodes in which Ash’s chainsaw does not appear … and it works so well! Is it important not to repeat too much in writing an episode of the series?
Bryan E. Hill: In general, you don’t want the audience too far ahead of you. You want to do new things and sometimes that means not using all the old things, all the time. Ash is such a great character that he doesn’t need a weapon to make a story work. With this episode, we wanted to dig a little deeper into his character and show the heroism he has underneath all that personality. Bruce did such a great job in those moments. He’s incredible.
NAQB: Seeing the complete episode on screen, what is your favorite scene in Rifting Apart?
Bryan E. Hill: I’m a fan of Kelly. Dana is just an awesome person so seeing her refusing to buckle to the evil in the rift was a joy.
NAQB: And what is your favorite episode of Ash Vs Evil Dead?
Bryan E. Hill: Mine! Ha ha ha. Not too proud to say it.
NAQB: Working with Ivan Raimi must be exciting. How was the script of the episode written? And what are the indications provided to you in order to work?
Bryan E. Hill: Ivan created a LOT of the work that inspired me as a kid. Having him in the room was an amazing experience. For everything we were doing, he would tell us what was “Evil Dead” and what may have missed the mark. Having him there was invaluable. He’s just a humble, brilliant and great guy.
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PART 2:
Between the writing of the episode and the actual realization, how many changes have occurred? Can you tell us some behind the scenes?
Not too many, and all of the changes made the episode better. In television, the show-runner guides everything after the other writers finish their scripts and Mark did the great work of refining every script, making them as effective as possible.
What changes between writing a comics story and writing an episode of a TV series that involves many more people in the making?
Any time you adapt a written work you have to make changes, just to fit the format of live action. Every choice you see in a film or a television show represents the work of at least 100 people, all trying to make it the best thing possible. You try to keep the spirit of the original work, but you have to adapt it to fit the new format.
You have very respectable career, which were the authors who made you understand that in life you wanted to become a screenwriter?
George Lucas and STAR WARS were huge influences on me. As far as straight authors go, I was inspired to be a writer from reading Hemingway. There’s an honest in his work that struck me like lightening.
Which educational path must we follow to become a screenwriter? Is it enough just the school or do you have to do something outside the box?
Well, in addition to studying English, History and those disciplines, you need to read and re-read screenplays. Analyze them and learn from their execution. For me, the work of Joseph Campbell and Stephen King helped form my approach to storytelling.
Where does a good idea for a subject come from?
It can come from anywhere. Dreams. Moments in life. Anything. The key is to follow that inspiration when it hits. If you think there’s a story inside of something, there likely is.
I read the first volumes of Postal. I was really impressed by the protagonist Mark with his Asperger syndrome and his “Everything it’s in the right place” (I can not stop thinking about the song of Radiohead every time that sentence is pronounced). In Italy there are many positive reviews of the volume (published in Italy by Panini Comics). How was working on the plot and what are the satisfactions that came with this publication?
That was really challenging because it’s a story about people, not superheroes. It pushed me to consider people from different perspectives and experiences and learn to write them with authenticity.
I also know that it was bought for a TV adaptation! (We also write a news of it months ago) Can you give us some updates (if you can)?
Nothing yet, but if people follow me on twitter @bryanedwardhill you’ll get updates as soon as I can share them!
If you had not been a screenwriter, what would you have done with your life now?
Batman. I would have been Batman.
What are your future projects? Where do we have to wait? TV or comics?
Currently I’m writing TITANS for DCTV, my DETECTIVE COMICS story starts with the first issue in June. I’m writing MICHAEL CRAY for DC as well, and a few other projects that I can’t announce at the moment. Should have a feature film announcement soon. Follow me on social media!
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Mark Ruffalo plays complex characters who stir things up on-screen, and his ability to do it--and do it well--is heating up his career
'I'm Like a Catalyst'
Newsweek - August 10, 2004
Author/Byline: Jennifer Barrett Ozols
Mark Ruffalo is making up for lost time. Four years ago--after more than a decade of bit parts and low-paying theatrical roles--Ruffalo finally had a breakthrough, playing Terry Prescott, a wayward drifter who comes home to stay with his straight-laced sister in "You Can Count on Me." The movie earned two Academy Award nominations and Ruffalo was hailed as a rising star. But just as things seemed to be looking up for him--with scripts piling up on his doorstep and he and his new wife, actress Sunrise Coigney, celebrating the birth of their son--Ruffalo was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The surgery and slow recovery left him out of commission for nearly a year. When he re-embarked on his film career, he did so with a vengeance. In the past two years, Ruffalo, now 36, has been in seven major movies, in roles ranging from a mustachioed, tough-talking homicide detective in "In the Cut" to an endearing boy-next-door type in "13 Going on 30." This weekend, he'll be appearing in two movies simultaneously. In Michael Mann's "Collateral," which shot to number one in the Box Office when it opened last weekend, he stars as a police detective trying to chase down Tom Cruise, who plays a contract killer. In John Curran's "We Don't Live Here Anymore," which opens Friday, he plays an unfaithful husband struggling to determine if his marriage is worth saving. NEWSWEEK's Jennifer Barrett Ozols spoke with Ruffalo at his hotel suite in New York about his unusual career path and where it might take him next. Excerpts:
NEWSWEEK: I understand you were the first lead to sign on to "We Don't Live Here Anymore." What drew you to the role?
Mark Ruffalo: I read the material and I thought, wow, this is difficult; and I was very impressed by the writing. I hadn't seen such an honest portrayal of marriage. But I was really reticent to take it on actually because it was such difficult material and I thought it needed a really special director to handle it--someone who really knew this sort of world well and respected relationships and had a strong, mature vision. And I couldn't really think of anybody who would be able to do it.
Ooh. That's not saying much for Hollywood directors.
[ laughs ] Well, I mean, I thought that they're just not making this type of movie--at least, not here [in America]. But then I saw John [Curran's] movie, "Praise," and I thought, this guy is really something else. And we met and I saw how much passion he had about the material and his point of view about it and I just immediately jumped on board.
You said earlier you don't usually see marriage portrayed this honestly. Isn't that a little cynical? Your character cheats on his spouse with his best friend's wife.
It's just that anyone who has been in a long relationship has come up against difficult situations and I just thought you don't see that in cinema, or anywhere in pop culture, where it's quite this honest. It's obviously a marriage in crisis, but these people have been together for 10 years. He'd never cheated on her [before] in that time and they had children happily and were married happily. It's something of a cautionary tale about where marriage can end up if you're not communicating and you're not taking care of your dreams and the other person's aspirations. We are sort of spoon-fed this sort of idyllic--or just totally criminalized--idea of marriage. We rarely get to see something so honestly portrayed in a way that makes us appreciate the marriages we have. Or, even for people who aren't married, to sort of understand the difficulties of it and how important the mantel, the tradition, that you have been passed is. It comes from my deep respect of marriage that I wanted to do this film.
Do you know people who are in this situation? Have you met people like your character, Jack?
Well, in the past few years, I've had friends who have been married for 15 or 20 years, or less--and, three couples in particular have all sort of blown up. And they all have kids and I loved all of them dearly, and they are all right and they are all wrong. When you see the statistics, 50 percent of marriages are ending in divorce. And something like 75 percent of men will cheat--or have cheated--on their wives.
Really? That's comforting to hear as someone who just got married a month ago.
Well, 45 percent of woman will cheat--or have cheated--on their husbands.... [Adultery] is just topical, it's something that's going on around us. Marriage is such a big institution. It's really part of our culture in a big way. It's even connected to the American Dream.
The wife, the kids, the white picket fence.
Yeah, and it isn't really like that. It takes work. There's a lot of beautiful, joyous moments, but the great thing about marriage is that it is a really fertile place for people to grow. The only way to grow is by exposing yourself and your foibles, and it just happens naturally. Unfortunately, the people that you love get to see not always the best version of you. But by sort of exposing some of those things to the light of day, you have some growth. That's what I hope anyway. [ laughs ]
I think that's what we all hope when we get married.
But it's hard to keep it up. Or they just stop telling the truth or stop communicating. I mean you have to say things to somebody that you never wanted to say to another human being about desires and other things. But once you say it, it's freeing. It's amazing. And you remember why you fell in love. I think that's where Jack ends up towards the end of the movie. He's unconscious and then it all comes out. His whole life unfolds, and he says, this is my life, this is where I belong.
You've said in the past that you dread being compared to the characters you play sometimes. Have you had a hard time trying to keep from being stereotyped as the character you played in "You Can Count on Me"?
Yeah, I keep looking to break it up and keep the balls in the air, so to speak, before someone pegs me, pigeonholes me, boxes me up and puts a nice label on me, sells me to the mass public. [ laughs ]
You've got the whole industry figured out.
I loathe that though, I loathe it. I loathe the idea of somebody somehow putting boundaries on me as an artist. It just angers me. If I had to play Terry Prescott [from "You Can Count On Me"] in every part that I did, I would become cynical and bored and I'd have a really horrible personal life and do really outrageous things in public.
Because you're trying to show your creativity somewhere else? As in, if you can't do this on screen, might as well do it in public?
I think that's what people end up doing. But for me, I live a really bourgeois life and I live things out on screen.
That's much safer.
Exactly, it's like role playing.
Are there many roles you've turned down because they didn't feel right for you?
Yeah, the roles just have to speak to me in some way. I have to be turned onto it or be intrigued or challenged by the material. Or think it'd be fun to do. I've turned quite a few down--some big stuff, some small stuff.
Have you ever regretted it?
No, never. You can never be hurt by what you didn't do.
But when you were diagnosed with a brain tumor a few years ago, you were just breaking out in the business, and then you were out of commission there for about a year after the surgery. How did that change your perspective on you life and career?
It made me live more fully; though you're always afraid you're going to forget that experience. But it made me want to live more authentically and appreciate what I have-- my very, very good fortune to be doing what I do. And it made me a little less fearless about my acting and what I am capable of.
Did you feel like fear was holding you back in your career before?
Not so much, but it was constant worry about each part. How is this going to add up in my career? Will this movie do all right? And all these career questions. And now I'm just like, screw that. I don't care. I'm going to do some things that aren't very good. I'm going to do some things that are well liked. Some things that are more provocative. And come what may. As long as the work is good and the material I choose means something to me, I don't think I can go wrong.
You said you started living more authentically too. What do you mean by that--what changes did you make?
Just in my personal dealings, my relationships and not being afraid of saying how I feel or what I want, being true to myself. It's being able to look down into myself and know what I want and being able to state that. That's something I didn't really know very much about before.
That's a pretty powerful thing to be able to do. Some people never do that.
I think what happens is you start that way and then you get it knocked out of you. Like I see my kid and there's no doubt about what he's feeling. There's no sugarcoating or doing something for social reasons. He doesn't care about being accepted, or looking cool. And it is really refreshing to see that.
How old is your son?
He's three.
Just wait.
No, I know. I think part of the game is that to survive you have to be conditioned that way. It's sad.
What role has been the most difficult for you?
"In the Cut" was really hard to do. It was so different from me and it was just kind of challenging and scary. Michael Mann's 'Collateral' was difficult. He is so intense and he's the kind of director where you're going to have an experience with it when you're working with him.
In "Collateral," you play a good guy going after Tom Cruise, who--for once--plays a really bad guy. How was that?
Well, my guy--you think he might be a bad guy. Then you realize he is actually the good guy and Tom Cruise is the bad guy. Initially you think Tom Cruise could be a nice guy.
That's a real role reversal.
Yeah, it was cool to be part of something that's sort of historic.
Historic, huh?
It is-- a little. Tom's never done anything like that. And, "In the Cut" had that same kind of thing too [with Meg Ryan]. When an actor is going to do something they've never done before, they bring in Mark Ruffalo to co star. [ laughs ]
You know, that's not a bad niche to have.
It's a great niche.
You'll never be bored.
I'm like a catalyst.
What are you doing next? I understand you're in a new movie that looks at the young lovers from "The Graduate" after they've grown up.
Actually, it's nothing like "The Graduate," it's just starting off there. I play Jennifer Aniston's fiance--very nice, staid, straight-laced lawyer. As nice as he can be as a lawyer. It's a sweet movie. And I think I'm going to be doing "All the King's Men" with Sean Penn. I'm really excited about that. He's one of my heroes. He's amazing.
Is there anything you really want to do that you haven't had a chance to do yet?
I'm trying to direct a film that I've been putting together since 1999. It's called "Running with Delicious." You know, like "Running with the Devil"?
Right, I get it. It's just an unusual title.
[pause] It's not a porno! [ laughs ]
What's it about?
It's kind of a satire on pop culture. And it's slowly coming together, it's been lurching into existence. I'd like to do more of that, directing.
#mark ruffalo#we don't live here anymore#collateral#all the king's men#rumor has it#brain tumor#13 going on 30#you can count on me#openimagesinnewtab
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Miu’s Games of the Decade
Hello all! Wishing you a Happy New Year wherever you are in the world! It’s already January 1st where I am, but I’m sure people are still counting down in other parts of the world. But anywho! I wanted to end the year with a celebration of some of my favorite games released this decade. The 2010’s have been an incredible year for video games, I think. With strides made in graphics, scale, and storytelling, I think this has been easily one of the most innovative eras on all fronts. I hope you enjoy this list of a few of my favorites, and hopefully some of your favorites are here as well! If not, make a list of your own and share it with me! I’d love to see some of your opinions.
But without further ado, on to the countdown…
2010 – FALLOUT: NEW VEGAS
This game, for me, set the standard for what every RPG game should be. From its worldbuilding, to character interactions and on-the-nose commentary, to the way it expands the Fallout universe both mechanically and through storytelling. Of all the Fallout games, this is the one that left the biggest impact on me, and it’s the one I still reflect on to this day.
Honorable Mentions – Bayonetta, Red Dead Redemption, Mass Effect 2, Bioshock 2
2011 – DRAGON AGE II
So I looooove Dragon Age. It’s, in my opinion, one of the best RPG franchises ever made, and this game in particular is easily my favorite in the series. The writing is at its best, and every character is so loveable that I found myself playing it multiple times just so I could romance everybody. Despite some structural issues in the overall story, I still consider it to be one of the most memorable in the franchise, and I don’t regret a single hour put into this campaign.
Honorable Mentions – Deus Ex: Human Revolution, Dark Souls, Portal 2, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
2012 – DISHONORED
As RPG-heavy as this list is, I do wanna give some love to immersive sims. Another favorite genre of mine, and Dishonored is by and large one of the best. I found myself entangled in a number of sticky situations that I had to sleuth and stealth my way out of one too many times. Yet they somehow managed to make that the best part of the game. Player freedom and creativity are practically the foundation of this game, and it’s something that made this game not only an enjoyable and unique experience the first time around, but its replay value is through the roof. I do think that later installments in the series, as well as other immersive sim games like Prey, definitely improved upon this one in a lot of areas. But regardless, I still really enjoyed Dishonored, and I’m holding out hope for the future of the series.
Honorable Mentions – Sleeping Dogs, Mass Effect 3, Borderlands 2, The Walking Dead
2013 – THE LAST OF US
I’m sure you’re all surprised, but yes. The Last of Us is my GOTY for 2013, and possibly my favorite game of all time. Before playing this, I’ve never had a game put me in such a state of emotional duress for an extended period of time. Not even MGS3’s ending did what this game did to me. And even as I’m typing this, I realize that the technical aspects of this game—the graphics, mechanics, level design, etc.—aren’t what makes it stand out in my opinion. My favorite part of this game has to be the journey. The connection between Ellie and Joel (two characters so brilliantly portrayed by Ashley Johnson and Troy Baker). My love for these characters and my desire to see them succeed despite all of the hardships and challenging decisions they were faced with. That’s why I love this game. It is, for me, the most incredible storytelling experience I’ve ever had.
Honorable Mentions – Grand Theft Auto V, Tomb Raider, The Wolf Among Us, Injustice: Gods Among Us
2014 – BAYONETTA 2
The Queen has made it onto this list, and I have nothing but praise for the greatest hack n’ slash game ever made. Character design? Stellar. Combat system? Robust, intricate, and absolutely flaw-fucking-free. Improves upon its predecessor in every way imaginable and still remains as stylish and fun as ever? 100%.
If you haven’t played this game yet, please stop reading this and go play this game. It is… phenomenal.
Honorable Mentions – Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dark Souls II, Alien: Isolation, Tales from the Borderlands
2015 – THE WITCHER 3: WILD HUNT
What can I say about this game that hasn’t already been said, like, 9 million times…?
It’s legendary. Simply put. A flawless and unforgettable RPG experience that simply cannot be replicated. Also, I would die for Yennefer. And Ciri of Cintra is the love of my life.
Honorable Mentions – Bloodborne, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, Life is Strange, Mortal Kombat X
2016 – HYPER LIGHT DRIFTER
The only indie game on this list, but its spot is well deserved. What has always set video games apart from other storytelling mediums is interactivity. Despite this, I feel like most games still rely on heavy dialogue and cinematic cutscenes in order to spin its narrative. Which is why I’m so appreciative of games like this, where art and exploration are key to understanding the world and the happenings around you. Hyper Light Drifter is a gorgeous game, with challenging combat and beautiful, stylish music and design that will have you feeling both nostalgic and mesmerized. Even in its quieter moments the game remains so rich and thoughtful, and even now it’s hard to decipher my feelings afterwards. A mixture of melancholy, delight, and solace. It’s a journey I thoroughly enjoyed taking.
Honorable Mentions – DOOM, Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End, Titanfall 2, Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
2017 – HORIZON: ZERO DAWN
This year was a solid year for games, which made this decision insanely difficult… but after a lot of deliberating, I decided to go with my gut. Aloy stole my heart the moment she came on the screen. She’s an incredible leading lady who’s strong, determined, complicated, and layered in ways that both intrigued me and that I could relate to. But beyond just my crush on the game’s protagonist, the scope of this game is just… fantastic. The way they mixed post-apocalyptic tribalism with futuristic technology, the physics of every monster you encounter being so dynamic that every battle feels viscerally intense, even just the combat mechanics and how much effort was put into designing Aloy’s bow and her diversity of combat options, I’m just so!!!! In LOVE with this game!!!!!!!
Honorable Mentions –Tekken 7, Uncharted: The Lost Legacy, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Butterfly Soup
2018 – GOD OF WAR
Yet another game that I’ve showered in so much praise that I don’t think there’s anything left for me to say about it anymore. This game is flawless for a number of reasons. Its meticulously crafted combat system, amazing graphics, beautiful character and game design, gorgeous score, and seamless transitions from action to story that make it feel like a film taken in one single camera shot are all key selling points. But what sold me on this game, and makes it my top pick for this year, was its compelling narrative. The story is one that’s very personal to me. I felt for them and their loss at the very start of the game. I resonated with Atreus and his struggles to connect with his father. And I understood Kratos’ inner battle with coming to terms with who he is and the things he’s done, and trying to be the father his son deserves. I related to these things, as they resembled all to closely the relationship I had with my own mom. God of War moved me in more ways than one, and I’m very thankful that this game exists. I felt like it was my own story being told on that screen as well.
Also… the boss fights are just so fucking fun.
Honorable Mentions – Spider-Man (PS4), Red Dead Redemption 2, Gris, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
2019 – RESIDENT EVIL 2: REMAKE
This may be a more controversial pick considering the amount of quality games that came out this year, and I know most of my viewers were probably expecting Control or The Outer Worlds to be here considering how much I hyped those games up. But in my defense, Resident Evil 2 was already one of my all-time favorite games, and this remake nothing short of a masterpiece. To me, it’s what every horror game should be. The atmosphere is dark yet engrossing. Every aspect of design, from sounds to levels to enemies, make this one of the scariest horror games I’ve ever played, all without relying on jumpscares, or grotesque imagery (although there’s plenty of that as well, it’s not what makes the experience so horrifying imo). It’s one of the most beautifully crafted survival horrors, while manages to improve upon the original while still remaining faithful to it. I consider it a masterclass in how to approach any remake. Capcom truly earned back my trust with this one.
Honorable Mentions – Control, Katana ZERO, The Outer Worlds, Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
And so concludes the list! I hope you enjoyed reading, despite how lengthy it got. I wanted to get out as much praise as I could because every game listed here deserves it. I’m in love with every single one, including so many more that weren’t mentioned. It was truly an amazing decade for gamers and game developers alike, and I’m nothing but optimistic for the future.
See you all next year.
– ミウ。
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Webcomic Recommendations No One Asked For:
I......... Spent 2 hours putting together a list of my webcomic recommendations, with summaries and reviews, because I was reworking my blog... And really I don’t think anyone ever goes directly on to my blog proper, so it feels kind of foolish to have that there where no one will see it, so I’m actually going to post it as well:
Webcomics are honestly just so tight, and there’s such a vast variety of them that there’s something for everyone, if not a few somethings for everyone! I’m personally all about indie games, but if there’s another indie market that I feel like the internet has created a space for it’s comics. After I started writing this I realized I have a uh… Lot of recommendations. Also, I may be an idiot for not using the author’s own summaries???
Regularly updating:
KILL SIX BILLION DEMONS - A comic about a college girl, Allison, given mystical powers beyond her understanding, and thrust into a celestial world filled with angels and demons, where the lines of good and evil are blurry at best. With the help of friends she meets along the way, she must navigate her new powers, and save her boyfriend from forces that would destroy existence. Kinda dark thematically (with very rare and minor gore), but a great comic if you love action, fantasy, and fantastic art. One of my favorites.
AWFUL HOSPITAL - Another one of my favorites. After her child becomes terribly sick, and doctors tell her that there’s nothing that they can do, a mother wakes up in a mysterious, otherworldly hospital. She must navigate this confusing and sometimes horrifying hospital to save her child and get home, and on the way, she makes many odd friends and unknowable enemies, and learns that her child’s sickness may be part of something larger. This comic is funny, has cool action, a unique format, and lots of great, though ghastly, character designs.
GUNNERKRIGG COURT - A coming of age story about two girls, Antimony and Kat, as they try to find their place in each other’s lives, and the two clashing worlds that surround them, the massive technological complex that is their school and home, Gunnerkrigg Court, and the forest across the river, where magic and fantastic creatures thrive, under the watchful eye of the trickster god Coyote. Another great one for if you like fantasy, but is usually a lot lighter, with a peak of intensity about equal to… Like, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, I think. I’ve only gotten into this one pretty recently, but it’s good.
PARANATURAL - After his family moves to his dad’s old home town, Max discovers that he has magical powers, and becomes part of the Paranatural Activities club at his school, a group of students and their adviser who all have magical powers, and use them to protect the populace from ghosts, as well as investigate the many magical mysteries of the town. This comic is great, and mostly focuses on action and comedy. The art is a very colorful cartoony style, and the characters are drawn very… fluid, rubbery. The best way to put it is that the artist has really put a lot of effort into making characters consistently as expressive as possible, and that good old Disney/Looney Toons/Tom & Jerry stretchiness makes for very good visual comedy.
HOUSEPETS! - Another one of the earliest webcomics I ever read! Housepets is… largely a comedy comic, following the lives of anthropomorphized pets in a small neighborhood. They go on adventures, and live the fun yet complicated lives of an open society of people with unbelievable amounts of free time. However, sometimes there are bigger drama/adventure arcs, which are really good! A lot of the times amazing art or cool action are what draw me into adventure stories, but I just think the plot of this comic can be really good and surprisingly deep for a humor comic. And it’s still loose enough, and in the newspaper comic style that you can usually jump in very often (not every strip, mind you but in pretty small arcs) without feeling like you’ve missed a ton. Long too, lots to read, recommend.
STAND STILL STAY SILENT - SSSS is a comic that takes place 90 years after the end of the world. A zombie-like virus with strong mystical qualities has wiped out not just human, but much of the world’s mammalian life. In Scandinavia (Norway, Sweden, Iceland, Finland, and Denmark), in spite of the virus, society continues to exist, and most people live normal, happy lives. Our comic follows a research team, formed on a hairstring budget to travel into the infected zone, collect information on the virus and state of the fauna there, and, secretly, to collect books to sell back home. A great fantasy adventure drama that updates very often, and has really good art.
CUCUMBER QUEST - In spite of order this is actually the last one I’m writing, and I’m tired, so I’m going to copy the book one summary from Amazon:
What happens when an evil queen gets her hands on an ancient force of destruction? World domination, obviously. The seven kingdoms of Dreamside need a legendary hero. Instead, they’ll have to settle for Cucumber, a nerdy magician who just wants to go to school. As destiny would have it, he and his way more heroic sister, Almond, must now seek the Dream Sword, the only weapon powerful enough to defeat Queen Cordelia’s Nightmare Knight. Can these bunny siblings really save the world in its darkest hour? Sure, why not?
Cucumber Quest is good, the art is colorful and bright, all of the characters are relatable and real, including the villains, there’s cool adventures sequences and plot, and it’s a very fun comic. There’s humor and love and struggle in the comic, and it’s very well done.
GIRL GENIUS - Girl Genius follows Agatha Heterodyne, up and coming mad scientist, on her many adventures to save herself, her friends and the world if it’s along the way. It’s hard, however, competing with an entire world of mad scientists, as well as the Heterodyne legacy, one filled with chaos and bloodshed up until recently. I like Girl Genius a lot. It doesn’t move through the story very fast, but there’s a lot of solid world building, and more importantly, very intriguing sci-fi action and adventure happening inside of that world! I’m also pretty sure they do a radio show or podcast or something with additional Agatha adventures on top of the comic.
SUPERNORMAL STEP - After leading a life as a drifter after the death of her father, Fae is pulled into an alternate world where magic is real. There, she tries to find her place in life, master the magic that the world around her runs on, and get home to plain old earth in one piece. Lots of cool action, every character has really got their own style of magic. I can honestly tell you that it’s good, but I read it over such a long period of time that it’s got a pretty vague impression in my head.
ATOMIC ROBO - Robo is a skilled an dedicated scientist. He’s also an atomic robot built and raised by Nikola Tesla. Atomic Robo follows the titular character on the many adventures of his life, from WWII to the present. As the head of Tesladyne Industries, Robo is dedicated to researching the outlandish, the weird, the impossible! And when the world calls on him, he and his Action Scientists defend it from giant monsters, cosmic anomalies, and mad science. Atomic Robo is great if you love action, robots, monsters, humor, and velociraptors duel-wielding uzis. Highly recommended.
DUMBING OF AGE - As the title would imply, Dumbing Of Age is a pretty standard coming of age comedy! Starring a wide cast of likable and complex character, DoA follows a group of college freshmen as they learn more about themselves, and grow beyond the bubbles that they were raised in. I think the underpinnings of the comic are pretty strongly on humor, but there’s a lot of drama, and conversations about meaningful things too. There are lots of varying depictions of drama, depression, anxiety, and the ways people deal with pressure, and fear. But there’s also a lot of love and friendliness. It’s a good comic, and probably the only solid slice-of-life on my list.
MANLY GUYS DOING MANLY THINGS - This comic follows The Commander, a bio-engineered super soldier sent back in time to run a temp agency. This particular temp agency specializes in reintroducing particularly brutish video game, comic, and movie protagonists back into normal polite society. Duke Nukem isn’t much of a man for customer service, however. Later on the comic drifts more toward Commander’s personal life. (So slice of life, but with a buff, and actually surprisingly sensitive and forward thinking, super commando from the future.) Has been in a bit of a slump in terms of updates recently, but they still happen.
GRRL POWER - Sidney, a slightly hyper nerd who works at a comic shop, stumbles upon an artifact that gives her a variety of superpowers. After being exposed, she becomes a member of the government’s brand new super hero organization. This comic is a lot of fun, with some cool superpowers and super fights. Lots of humor, very consistently, in any given scene. Sadly, it is a bit fan service-y, though in the grand scale of things it’s not the worst offender (though definitely the worst you’ll see on this list).
SWORD INTERVAL - This is a pretty new one for me, but it’s great. At some indeterminate point in the past (potentially as far back as the civil war, if not farther), the earth became exposed to monsters and magic in ways that it wasn’t before. Humanity still exists and survives, but plagued by supernatural forces. Our main character is Fall, a very new monster hunter, who after years in witness protection, has decided to track down and kill the Hierophant, the powerful monster that killed her parents. Sword interval does a lot of really cool fantasy stuff, with new takes on classic monsters, and magic and monsters in settings that we don’t often see them in, out in the open in present day. It’s something I wish we could see more. Good action and art, particularly character design.
BACK - Abigail is back. From the dead? From a very long sleep in a box underground? She doesn’t know either. She doesn’t know a lot of things. What she does know is that she’s got two guns, is nearly indestructible, and is prophesied to go north to the capital and end the world. With the help of the young cleric Michael, who supplements her absolute lack of all knowledge and common sense, Abigail fights her way through the kingdom, and past the kings many superpowered deputies. Back is cool, back is funny, and sometimes has some good action. I wouldn’t consider it one of my favorites, but it’s a comic I started and I’ve kept up with, so that’s saying something.
MARE INTERNUM - Not very long yet, and I only recently read it, but Mare Internum is really good. I don’t want to spoil it too much, honestly, especially because it’s so short, but it’s a sci-fi adventure comic about being trapped, underground, on Mars, and finding life there. The art is great, the story so far is well written, and the dialogue is good. I really don’t want to spoil it, but there are some great concepts in it and you should read it.
OPHIUCHUS - A very new comic about an ancient stone guardian who is whisked away to another, far off world. Here, he is employed to help two of this world’s denizens defeat the blight that has corrupted and destroyed their once almost utopian world. The art for this is really good. The comic is not currently long enough to comment on much else, but it seems interesting, sci-fi with a touch of fantasy.
Slowly Updating:
AVA’S DEMON - Ava’s Demon is about a girl, Ava who has spent her entire young life haunted by a ghost that torments her, before finally making a deal. The ghost, Wrathia, will help her become a normal girl, with friends and a normal life, but first, Ava must track down the ghosts of Wrathia’s most powerful allies, and help her dissolve the massive interplanetary empire that is TITAN. Ava’s Demon is amazing. The story is good, but I think the comic’s greatest strength is absolutely stunning and polished art. Strong recommendation.
THE PROPERTY OF HATE - RGB is a self-described monster, a sharp dressed man with a TV for a head. However, he’s looking for a hero to guide on a quest. RGB whisks our young protagonist, the Hero, to a world that exists beside our own a world completely fueled and inhabited by our creativity, our stories. RGB protects the Hero from these dangers, guiding her on a mission unknown, through a world that, although mystical, seems to have lost its hope.
HE IS A GOOD BOY - Slow but large updates. This comic follows the life a sentient acorn, Crange, after the death of his parent (a tree) to a lumberjack. Crange is kind of a bit of a loser, and stumbles around his world of sentient rocks and bugs getting into all sorts of trouble and hijinks. These hijinks almost always result in someone’s death, which Crange is impressively unphased by. HIAGB is fantastic, in my opinion. The art is great, the humor is great, especially the visual comedy, and the story is good. However, it gets real dark, and gory. But if you’re fine with that, it IS a (dark) comedy comic, and a good one.
THE LAST HALLOWEEN - One Halloween, the darkness opens up, and monsters pour out from the seams between our world and theirs. Approximately 7 billion monsters, in fact. Mona, a young girl and horror fanatic finds herself thrown into a world of chaos and horror, on the run from her own monster, and forced to look for a way to save the world, with the help of ghosts, zombies, vampires, and even monsters themselves. In spite of the fact that this comic can be VERY dark, I think one of its big hooks is humor and likable characters, on top of great art and plot. I really like it. This comic maybeshouldn’t be on the slow update list, but the artist is just picking up speed after a long hiatus, so…
ROMANTICALLY APOCALYPTIC - The apocalypse happened, and Charles Snippy missed it. Humanity was wiped out in a war against it’s own, ever-present AI, and Charles Snippy, a scientist/tour guide without the implants made it out alive, only to wander alone this is until he meets Zee Captain, an ever positive, gender question mark, maniac who wanders the wasteland with their insane assistant Pilot. Snippy, Captain and Pilot wander the wasteland, facing off against monsters, raiders, and the laws of physics in a mind warping and illogical adventure.
On Hiatus:
DERELICT - Like a surprisingly large number of comics on this list, in Derelict, the world has ended. A strange Miasma travels the world, killing billions, and bringing with it gargoyle-like monsters who fear the daylight. However, the world goes on, in a small, broken way, and our story follows a scavenger in this new world.
HELVETICA - So, you die, and then what? Well, life goes on. This is what Helvetica learns, after he dies and reemerges into an afterlife that seems shockingly similar to the world of the living, with work, pressure, responsibility, danger, and just plain old boring life. Except everyone is a skeleton. Helvetica is very resistant to accept this new life in death. This one is pretty short so far, and hasn’t updated in a while, but it’s good.
VIBE - Hasn’t update in a year and a half, but what’s there is good (Honestly, it’s super sad it hasn’t update, I like it a lot). Vibe follows Baron, a young shaman, a spiritual master who is able to expel negative emotions (bad vibes) from the human body. Only those emotions then become monsters, who a shaman must fight to complete the process! With the help of his Loa (they’re like familiars), he navigates life as a teenager, and his increasingly complex and dangerous life as a shaman. I really like this comic. There’s a lot of very cool and dynamic action, and the artist makes great use of a ton of bright colors.
THE ABOMINABLE CHARLES CHRISTOPHER - This one hasn’t updated in about a year, but what’s there right now is good. Charles Christopher is a Sasquatch, living in the woods on the edge of society. Though he himself is fairly soft, and simple, the wilderness around him is full of anthropomorphized animals who go about shockingly human social and professional lives. The comic follows Charles Christopher as he interacts with the world of these animals, and becomes tangled in a vast spiritual quest.
POWER NAP - Hard to know exactly where to put this one. It’s currently VERY slow updating. Power Nap takes place in a world where the majority of mankind is reliant on a drug that allows them to live 24/7 without sleep. However, there are those who are allergic to the medicine, who live their lives out of sync with their peers, protected by the government, but effectively second class citizens. However, in a sleepless world, over-saturated by virtual reality, the human subconscious has found ways to seep into reality.
THE FANCY ADVENTURES OF JACK CANNON - I want to start this out by saying this comic is probably dead, without a 100% resolution. However, it’s currently 492 pages, and a LOT of the storyline covered in that span was resolved. Such that, if they’d wanted to, I could’ve seen the author wrapping it up. I digress. Jack Cannon is about a kid moving to a new school, where he finds the bullies are able to hack reality. Somehow immune to hacks, Jack fights the bullies, and in doing so, puts himself on the stage of a worldwide battle against hackers. Lots of really cool action in this, one of the first few webcomics I read.
Complete:
HOMESTUCK - If you’re here, you are probably at least aware of Homestuck. It’s about a bunch of goofy awkward teen friends who get sucked into a cosmic (video) game, with the fate of the universe at stake, but you know, they’ve still got that teen angst. Time travel is involved. It’s a very long, fun, and dramatic comic which is heavily influenced by RPGs and point and click adventures.
THE ADVENTURES OF DR. MCNINJA - The pressures of being a doctor AND ninja are immense, but on either front, you can trust that Dr. McNinja is the man for the job. Born into an Irish ninja family, Dr. McNinja longs for a life where he can do medicine in peace, but finds himself constantly pulled into a string of action packed adventures, fighting giant monsters, bandits riding velociraptors, and dueling radical interdimensional kings. This one if fairly long, a bit over 1800 pages, but it’s really good and well done. Again, there is a lot of both action and humor (I’m big on that), with some surprisingly meaningful and well-done story arcs in spite of how silly the premise is.
REMIND - This one is about a girl who lives in a lighthouse on the edge of a town whose main draw is the “Lizard Man” legend that her own father made up. However, after her cat one day starts walking on two legs and talking, claiming to be one of many said lizard men, they both go on a journey to discover the truth. This one was OK. The story and sci-fi elements are both alright bot not great. But it’s not super long, so if you have the time, maybe read it.
#dr mcninja#ReMIND#Homestuck#The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon#Jack Cannon#the adventures of doctor mcninja#Power Nap#The abominable charles christopher#awful hospital#Vibe#Helvetica#ksbd#kill six billion demons#paranatural#supernormal step#derelict#manly guys doing manly things#dumbing of age#gunnerkrigg court#the last halloween#the property of hate#Romantically Apocalyptic#he is a good boy#hiagb#grrl power#stand still stay silent#ssss#sssscomic#cucumber quest#Housepets!
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