I’m sure it’s fine that my taste in fictional men is horrendous old man who commits atrocities while pretending to be younger than he is.

Was the Comics Code as bad as the Hays Code?

That's a really good question!

I suppose it depends on what you mean by "as bad" - are we talking about the overall impact of the Code on American pop culture or are we talking about the actual content of the Code and what it banned and/or mandated in terms of artistic expression?

I've written a little bit about the Hays Code here, but my main focus was on subtextual judaism in Hollywood generally rather than what the Code was and what its impact on American cinema was.

So what did the Hays Code actually include?

One of the few positive things you can say about it is that the men who devised it were quite clear and forthright about what would and wouldn't be allowed, in comparison to the vagueness and inconsistency of the modern MPAA. So here's the list of what couldn't be shown:

Pointed profanity—by either title or lip—this includes the words God, Lord, Jesus, Christ (unless they be used reverently in connection with proper religious ceremonies), Hell, S.O.B., damn, Gawd, and every other profane and vulgar expression however it may be spelled; (You'll notice that the Code is very much a snapshot of the transition from silent movies to "talkies," with the discussion of how profanity is spelled as well as produced via "lip.")

Any licentious or suggestive nudity—in fact or in silhouette; and any lecherous or licentious notice thereof by other characters in the picture;

The illegal traffic in drugs;

Any inference of sex perversion; (i.e anything having to do with LGBT+ people and culture. For more on the impact of the Hays Code on the LGBT+ community, see the excellent documentary the Celluloid Closet.)

White slavery; (the 1920s version of sex trafficking, but with added racism!)

Miscegenation;

Sex hygiene and venereal diseases;

Scenes of actual childbirth—in fact or in silhouette;

Children's sex organs;

Ridicule of the clergy;

Willful offense to any nation, race or creed; and (this one was really honored in the breach more than the observance when it came to nations, races, and creeds of non-dominant groups in society.)

The following things could be shown, but "special care be exercised in the manner in which the following subjects are treated, to the end that vulgarity and suggestiveness may be eliminated and that good taste may be emphasized:"

The use of the Flag;

International Relations (avoid picturizing in an unfavorable light another country's religion, history, institutions, prominent people and citizenry); (again, depended a lot on what country you're talking about.)

Arson;

The use of firearms;

Theft, robbery, safe-cracking, and dynamiting of trains, mines, buildings, et cetera (having in mind the effect which a too-detailed description of these may have upon the moron); (I guess the idea was that the MPPDA believed very strongly in the idea that media could affect people's behavior through imitation, but the use of the word "moron" gives me eugenics vibes.)

Brutality and possible gruesomeness;

Technique of committing murder by whatever method;

Methods of smuggling;

Third-Degree methods; (i.e, torture)

Actual hangings or electrocutions as legal punishment for crime; Sympathy for criminals; (this was a big one; Hollywood had done very well from gangster films, so a lot of creators had to do some careful threading of the needle to keep the genre alive. One dodge that they came up with was that they would have a duplicate "final reel" in which the gangster would have their inevitable comeuppance, and then remove the final reel when the censors had left the theater. Very popular with white rural teens.) Attitude toward public characters and institutions; (again, Hollywood shifting from being anti- to pro-establishment.)

Sedition;

Apparent cruelty to children and animals;

Branding of people or animals;

The sale of women, or of a woman selling her virtue;

Rape or attempted rape;

First-night scenes; (i.e, wedding nights)

Man and woman in bed together; (hence the eventual TV practice of showing married couples in separate beds in the 50s)

Deliberate seduction of girls;

The institution of marriage;

Surgical operations;

The use of drugs;

Titles or scenes having to do with law enforcement or law-enforcing officers;

Excessive or lustful kissing, particularly when one character or the other is a "heavy".

So in general, we can say that the Hays Code was extremely sex-negative, very concerned about crime and anti-establishment thinking, sexist, racist, and homophobic, and in general afraid of offending anybody.

So what about the Comics Code Authority?

So this is what the Comics Code looked like in 1954:

Crimes shall never be presented in such a way as to create sympathy for the criminal, to promote distrust of the forces of law and justice, or to inspire others with a desire to imitate criminals. If crime is depicted it shall be as a sordid and unpleasant activity.

Policemen, judges, government officials, and respected institutions shall never be presented in such a way as to create disrespect for established authority.

Criminals shall not be presented so as to be rendered glamorous or to occupy a position which creates a desire for emulation. In every instance good shall triumph over evil and the criminal punished for his misdeeds.

Scenes of excessive violence shall be prohibited. Scenes of brutal torture, excessive and unnecessary knife and gunplay, physical agony, the gory and gruesome crime shall be eliminated.

No comic magazine shall use the words "horror" or "terror" in its title.

All scenes of horror, excessive bloodshed, gory or gruesome crimes, depravity, lust, sadism, masochism shall not be permitted.

All lurid, unsavory, gruesome illustrations shall be eliminated. Inclusion of stories dealing with evil shall be used or shall be published only where the intent is to illustrate a moral issue and in no case shall evil be presented alluringly, nor so as to injure the sensibilities of the reader.

Scenes dealing with, or instruments associated with walking dead, torture, vampires and vampirism, ghouls, cannibalism, and werewolfism are prohibited.

Profanity, obscenity, smut, vulgarity, or words or symbols which have acquired undesirable meanings are forbidden.

Nudity in any form is prohibited, as is indecent or undue exposure. Suggestive and salacious illustration or suggestive posture is unacceptable.

Females shall be drawn realistically without exaggeration of any physical qualities.

Illicit sex relations are neither to be hinted at nor portrayed. Rape scenes, as well as sexual abnormalities, are unacceptable.

Seduction and rape shall never be shown or suggested.

Sex perversion or any inference to same is strictly forbidden.

Nudity with meretricious purpose and salacious postures shall not be permitted in the advertising of any product; clothed figures shall never be presented in such a way as to be offensive or contrary to good taste or morals.[16]

You'll notice the similarities when it comes to the Codes' attitude to sex, sexuality, crime, and symbols of authority - so to answer the first part of your question, I would say the CCA was pretty similar to the Hays Code (in part because Charles F. Murphy, who drew it up, was deeply unoriginal and basically cribbed off the Hays Code throughout).

However, there are also some significant areas of difference that have a lot to do with the unique circumstances of the 1950s moral panic over comics. See, in the 1950s, superhero comics were considered deeply uncool and old hat - they had been huge in the 40s during the war, but by the 50s the biggest genre in comics were horror, crime, and romance comics (with cowboy comics bringing up the rear). To quote myself from another post:

"This gave rise to a moral panic in the 1950s, although more accurately it was part of the larger moral panic over juvenile delinquency. The U.S Senate established a Juvenile Delinquency Subcommittee of the Judiciary Committee in 1953 to investigate the causes of juvenile delinquency and comics became a major target. While Wertham’s book is best known today for its assertions that Batman and Robin were teaching young boys to be gay and Wonder Woman was teaching young girls to be lesbians, the main focus of the Subcommittee [edit mine: and Wertham's academic work] was on horror and crime comics for their depiction of sex, violence, and “subversive” attitudes to law and order."

The CCA made it impossible to publish two of the most popular genres in the industry for a generation (the CCA relaxed its stance on horror stuff a bit in the 70s, which is why Marvel trend-chased werewolves and vampires the moment they could get away with it), which not only scrambled the medium (and potentially created space for the Silver Age of superhero comics to flourish) but drove the former titan EC Comics practically out of business. (Indeed, William Gaines of EC Comics believed that the CCA had been specifically worded to drive him out of business.)

So in some ways, the CCA was worse.

my tablet is currently halfway across the country for repairs (my brother's the most tech-savvy in my family and asking him to take a look at it was cheaper than taking it to a shop) so i haven't been able to draw lately. i've made a bunch of traditional sketches in the meantime, but none of them are presentable enough to post here, so i decided to take a trip down memory lane and fill out one of foxorian's influence maps!

below the cut are the names of the artists featured here, as well as a little bit of director's commentary on how they've influenced me :]

yugo limbo (website, tumblr, twitter) - some time last year, i realized something profoundly unnerving: i actually... don't like the art in smile for me's original release all that much? that's not to say it's bad, just that there isn't a whole lot about it outside of maybe its architecture that stands out to me. which is REALLY WEIRD, considering i wrote a whole retrospective about how much this game means to me. art-wise, however, it was only after smile for me's release that yugo limbo's art evolved in a way that really resonated with me; i love how textured everything is, i love the way they simplify clothing folds and the way that skin wrinkles around the joints, i love their love for puppets; all of those things ended up worming their way into my art style and tastes one way or another, and i couldn't be happier!! it didn't feel right to leave smile for me out of the equation entirely, though, so i chose a piece that was both related to that game and that i felt reflected a lot of what i love about yugo's more recent art.

echobsilly (twitter, tumblr) - oh god, speaking of yugo limbo - god. i fucking love echo's art so much i have no idea how to even do it justice in writing. like many people i first found him through his smile for me/limbolane fanart and animations - and those are some of his best work, don't get me wrong, but i really wanted to include one of his original designs to make a point that he's just fuckin great at art in general. character design, facial expressions, body language, composition, LIGHTING... he makes it all just. so so so gorgeous. i always liked "painterly" art styles for lack of a better word, but i think his art is what first pushed me to embrace that more in my digital art. i also like how he talks about dr. habit like he's his dead wife. i'm very proud to call him a friend these days :]

japhers (tumblr, twitter, instagram) - i first found japhers' art in high school and he very quickly became a HUUUUUGE influence on my taste in character and costume design. one of the big reasons i never fully bought into the idea that men's fashion is inherently harder to design is bc so much of his art is already dedicated to exploring fashion Without the restrictions of a gender binary in place which is to say that he's really good at drawing buff dudes in frilly outfits. i also think he gave me more confidence to draw more intricate costumes without having to worry about super dainty and clean lineart, bc a lot of his art looks like it's kinda been carved/rendered out of sketches, and it is Gorgeous.

moe suppe (website, tumblr, cohost) - another artist i found in high school, albeit originally from a long-gone instagram account. his art is what kickstarted my desire to have some Roughness in my art, some Texture. it may not have stuck to my lineart, but it Definitely stuck to my rendering. it helped that i was going through a pretty big angel/demon phase at the time, which meant i was pretty immediately drawn in by his delightfully weird worldbuilding. i should probably read fear not now that it's an actual serial...

val wise (website, itch.io, twitter, instagram) - a more recent influence, but a pretty significant one nonetheless. i featured the cover of délicatesse here because it was the first thing from him that i had ever read, but in general his grasp on the human body really blows me away given how deceptively simple his style looks at first glance, especially his faces. the way fat and hair sits on her bodies, and how much it varies from character to character... it's beautiful without being So glamorous that it feels untouchable. his costume design is also great. i recommend his comics for low fantasy/ursula k. le guin fans who are Dying to see more fat characters in leading roles. i also just found out that i am of two hearts is free on itch.io, so i'll be treating myself to that over spring break.

partycoffin (tumblr, twitter) - if you have known me for any amount of time at all then this should not come as a surprise to you. i actually wasn't going to include partycoffin in this map at first, because while welcome home has inspired me in Many creative pursuits, i didn't think visual art was one of them? i definitely picked up some of clown's love for dramatic lighting and thinner lines with just a smidge of well-placed hatching subconsciously, though.

ryoko kui - probably the most recent artist featured here? anyways i have a confession to make: i have yet to read dungeon meshi. i just know that when i saw a post compiling a bunch of ryoko kui's sketches from her daydream hour series, i was so overwhelmed with this feeling of, like… "oh, yeah, these capture almost everything i love about women as flesh and blood people. when i draw women this is the kind of beauty that i want people to see in them." of course, ryoko kui is a great character designer in general, but something about her women specifically really speak to me. the earthier color palettes and rendering also do a lot to endear her art to me.

shuzo oshimi - specifically his art in blood on the tracks. something that really stood out to me in that series was whenever the shadows would get really intense, and you'd get these big blocks of black with just the faintest bit of hatching to soften out some of their edges. it was always very effective in creating this sense of claustrophobia. i really want to keep incorporating that in my more intense pieces!

person918x (tumblr, instagram) - i don't work with 3d art often and i don't see myself doing so any time soon, but the composition of person918x's pieces is something i take a lot of inspiration of. i also love his sequential art, as someone who does a lot of dream journaling it's sick to see the exact Vibe of a dream be put to (digital) canvas. i also firmly believe that he's one of the only people out there who knows what he's doing when it comes to using generative AI in art.

oops i made this list too long so now i have to put the last two artists in a new block.

10. meatgiri (twitter, instagram) - definitely the artist i've known about the longest out of this selection. i think i've been following her since…. oh god. since i was in middle school. way before she was meatgiri, even. i think her influence probably shows up the least in my art, but there are definitely some characteristics that stuck with me for a very long time (the lil block of black accompanied by one or two lines for shading on the neck, the looser lineart making it really easy to incorporate soft curves and sharp edges, the Eyes, etc etc.) i chose this drawing of her oc juniper bc i thought it was both reflective of her current art And a good embodiment of a lot of things i wanted to emulate from her art as a young'un.

11. dragan bibin (website, instagram) - specifically his 'deimos' series. much like with person918x, it's his compositions that really stand out to me the most, and you probably know by now that i'm a sucker for high contrast. i find it interesting though that he uses high contrast to obscure more than he does to highlight... helps a lot with giving the deimos paintings that air of Quiet Unease. another thing i want to incorporate in my horror-adjacent art! manmade environments gone wrong!

Kin list because I keep forgetting and I wanna keep it written so I remember

giving the biggest “please be my friend ur so cool please please please please” to whoever knows all of these characters

But I’ll say them here anyway, in order from the top left going right.

Mikey - rottmnt

SCP-035 - SCP Foundation

Tawnypelt - Warriors

Ennard - FNAF Sister Location

Dr. Iceberg - SCP Foundation

Moxxie - Helluva Boss

Space Kid - Camp Camp

Phone Guy - FNAF 1 (I think?? I never played the games..)

Phillip Graves - Call of Duty Modern Warfare (reboot)

uhhh idk if I label or spelt that right. I hope I did. That’d be kinda embarrassing if I didn’t lol..

———— why I kin them ig.

btw some stuff is headcanons like so and so being lgbtq and Graves having daddy issues

Mikey ROTTMNT- hell, there’s a lot of reasons.. it’s like… really personal with me lol

4th child, plus youngest. 3 older brothers and often gets left out, or brushed off from being involved. + aro/ace spec.

+ orange theme buddy agh I love u ur so pretty 💛💛

+ ADHD

SCP-035 - hmm.

Wants to watch the world burn, and is here for a good time and is really opportunistic with people, and often forms bonds with people for what they can give him… I’m a bad person I know. I’m trying to change.

+ Latin hehe

+ a lot of people really like him when they first meet, and learn the longer they spend with him, the worse he gets.

Tawnypelt - I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about her bc I didn’t read the 2nd arc, but from what I get, she seems to have struggled with gaining her own identity and being seen as someone other than a clone in her family. I struggle with people only knowing me for my brothers so I relate to her for this.

Also idk her leaving Thunderclan, despite her family, friends, and everything she knows and it being genuinely a good place she is comfortable and happy with— to Shadowclan so she can start a new life just touches me personally.

I don’t want to stay here. It’s not bad here, and everyone I love is here, but I don’t feel like I belong here, and I relate to her for it.

Ennard - yeah.. no, I got nothing. Idk why but he’s just like me fr.

Dr. Iceberg - HE’S AN ASSHOLE!!! I’m an asshole!!! Easily entertained, and doesn’t think of others that much, or the consequences of his actions. + mentally ill

+ bad taste in men

+ probably American with a small fraction of his ethnicity from Europe.

Moxxie - Daddy Issues. shit on by everyone. Underestimated kinda I guess???… and mixed morals. Often really polite— or at least is perceived to be, and is a thinker. Can go absolutely feral if necessary.

+ Italian I guess lmfao

+ short- ish..

+ adults and some older kids shall be referred to as ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’

Space Kid - he likes space. What can I say?

He’s so silly. A lot of the actions and stuff he does feels like stuff I would have done/do.

+ brown hair

Phone Guy - tries to help and probably fails. Hey, he’s trying.

Phillip Graves - Daddy issues. I also headcanon his dad was in the military and he moved around a lot and lived throughout the US, so he’s fairly decent at adapting to different places, and tolerate as hell. “It is what it is” mentality about most everything out of his control.

Finds that one person and looks up to them, and gets really clingy and obsessed with them. Doesn’t show it of course, but in his head he wants to impress them and please them in every way possible. *cough, Shepherd, cough cough*

(I met a lotta people I hyperfixated on giving away everything to make them happy. We’re just casual friends now. Except for that one. She was mean as hell to me. We still meet occasionally tho.)

Outside of headcanons, his personality and the way he acts is just very familiar and relatable to me.

+ American (wtf is a kilometer🦅🫡🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅💥🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸)

+ makes shitty jokes no one laughs at

thoughts about wolfstar? you're now the one i go to for any hp related thoughts

omg this is VERY nice of you but i'm pure flop on marauders thoughts, they're all extremely half-baked, so best left to others. here my half-baked wolfstar thoughts offered sheepishly and apologetically!

the thing is - i quite like the idea of wolfstar. to be honest i was sort of imagining a sort of wistful wolfstar vibe to how i wrote lupin in orchards in the aftermath of sirius' death. but i think the wolfstar i like is quite a specific version of it that's increasingly hard to find in fic searches so i don't often go looking for it (which is pure laziness on my part). my interest in canon coherent characterisation limits me here - i think there's such a strong case for wolfstar as a pairing written in ways that attend to the very clear dynamics (and timelines) that canon makes plausible (including in AUs, where actually characterisation matters more, not less, than in 'canon compliant' fics, because it's the reader's only anchor). there is an intensity and an intimacy to what sirius and remus share in the marauders and the significance of a boyhood spent together in their adult lives, a literal physical proximity of them living together as adults post azkaban as two men who have such complex feels towards themselves and especially to their bodies, including an overlapping self loathing, and they're both characters that can very plausibly read as queer-coded in rich and interesting ways. and then, of course, there's an inherent narrative shape to both of their canon arcs (the tragedy, delicious). these are just some of the dynamics in a potential romantic relationship between the two of them that can make for really rich and interesting potential to work with in fic writing.

the trouble i find with a lot of wolfstar, less as a matter of principle than what actually gets written more often than not, is that the stuff i personally find rewarding and interesting as a writer/reader is work that bears some relationship with the canon text (even if - especially if - it's to pull it apart and expose its flaws and complexities). a queer reading of the relationship between sirius and remus in canon is absolutely plausible and can be deeply compelling, and, as queering HP as a text remains a powerful fuck you to its author whose reaction to the ship was errrr quite homophobic, still really important.

but. challenging the text means having some sense of the characterisation of the essence of these characters as rendered in the text, and canon is clear about certain aspects of sirius and remus' characterisations that limits my enthusiasm for a lot of wolfstar that has sprung up in recent years (especially in and around ATYD, which i'll say more about in a minute). the truth is that canon strongly suggests that sirius cares much less about remus than he ever does about james (dropping @saintsenara's excellent manifesto for why unrequited prongsfoot is canon, also the rec for one of the best fics i read last year that @ashesandhackles put me onto, empire builders by shecrows, a gorgeous complex funny angsty prongsfoot fic that's not not canon compliant timeline-wise). it's also clear that the marauders as a friendship group functioned as a group of three boys all working towards james potter as the de facto leader, each with their own complicated feelings and levels of loyalty and devotion to james that undoubtedly shaped, and limited, how the other three felt towards each other (especially after james' death). the kind of wolfstar lore that's sprung up in the last few years, especially from marauderstok, of roadman remus the romeo of gryffindor tower that young sirius is wildly and hopelessly in love with, and is desperate to reunite with after azkaban, is a version of wolfstar that's sort of compelling as an original story but, for my taste, bears too little relationship to their core canon characterisation to be really up my street. a wolfstar with really fucked up power dynamics that plays with sirius' idolisation of james and remus having to play second fiddle? delicious. or even unrequited/onesided wolfstar from remus to sirius - yum. but the rest, i struggle with. by the time they've left school, remus thinks sirius is the spy and sirius thinks remus is the spy. that is not giving soulmates, in my mind. but as with most of these things, i'm very open to being proved wrong.

(with that said, though, i think the subculture and lore that's built around wolfstar is really astonishing and often extremely compelling, i think ATYD is obviously a huge accomplishment and deserves its flowers for launching such a phenomenon, and there's masses of quality writing and art and general creative talent coming out of wolfstar spaces that it's hard not to be continually impressed by. also some of those tiktok edits absolutely slap. that remus-centric animated noah kahan one. unreal)

Wanted to start this by saying that I usually agree with your opinions (or even when I don't, I can at least see where you're coming from) but that's not the case when it comes to your opinion on Only Friends because I completely disagree and just wanted to add my two cents. You said that it wasn't relatable to the queer community but I'm sorry, the queer community isn't a monolith, there isn't one universal way that every single queer friendship group functions. Just because it wasn't relatable to your experience, it doesn't mean that it wasn't relatable to many other queer people's experiences. For example, one of my friend groups consists of gay men and the stories they've told me (and some of which I witnessed with myself)? Not that far off from OF (aka everyone getting with everyone, behind people's backs as well, and most of them are still on friendly terms now). It's perfectly fine that you didn't personally relate but you can't say no queer person/community did.

I also saw depth to a lot of characters and I could relate to several of them in different ways and everything in the finale made sense to me for those characters. For me it achieved what it set out to do: entertain, while also make me connect/care about some of the characters. It didn't do that for everyone (you included) but please don't claim it's a "bad show" as a general statement just because you didn't get anything out of it because a lot of people did. (My friend who struggles with depression and is currently going through a depressive slump found comfort in seeing Ray progress to a point where he's much happier at the end of the series because it gives her hope that she can get to that point soon too.)

Is Only Friends a brilliant, amazing, showstopping, incredible show? No. But it's not bad, far from it. It certainly has its flaws but the sudden hate it's getting is not warranted imo.

hi, first of all, it's fine to disagree lol, though it's always a bit jarring to me when people feel the need to let me know they disagree with me bc clearly we simply have a different taste & opinion. when I share my opinion about a show, I do it on my blog but never go on others' blogs to either defend a show I liked or trash a show I didn't like, but anyways. I have NEVER, EVER said that the queer community is a monolith & that all queer representation needs to be relatable to ME. in fact, a lot of my favorite queer media are HIGHLY UN-relatable to me lol. I never implied that only friends' flaws comes from it being unrelatable or unrealistic? in fact I believe it to be realistic since it's made by queer men & has recurring topics that p'jojo especially has used in previous shows of his, especially since the story of only friends is inspired by real-life events. in fact I said that I WISH they'd have leaned into the queer community aspect of it even more bc it was the one point in which this show differentiates itself from friend zone, so yeah. don't really know where you got that notion from. secondly, like it or not, I can claim any shows I've watched are bad in my opinion. once again, media is subjective & I did not like only friends so for me it IS a bad show. is it the worst? no. did I HATE it? no. did I have a good time in front of it? also no. also from a writing standpoint I'm sorry it IS objectively bad and FAILED at what it set out to do, especially considering the show itself doesn't seem to know what it set out to do in the first place. moreover, sudden hate? I've been criticizing only friends since it started airing lol, I'm not jumping on any bandwagon, and in fact it's more so the fandom that's catching up to the fact that this show is not very good. now, I'm genuinely glad that this show helped you & your friend and that you liked it! that's great, of COURSE this show is gonna have its fans, and in fact it has a lot of them! however it seems to me as if you've taken my (justified) criticism of the show to heart for a reason that only you fully know, and I hope you can investigate why that is. I truly value you as a long time follower of mine & I hope you can agree to disagree with me on that one even though I must admit this ask seems a bit jarring & personal to me. wish you all the best :)

xxx

Hi Elle! This question comes out of genuine curiosity because I've been thinking about fiction and how we relate to romantic relationships across boundaries and real-life personal preferences, and I wanted your feedback. As a lesbian, what draws you to fictional heterosexual relationships? Are you drawn to them more frequently than fictional homosexual w|w relationships, or do you like them under specific circumstances and through specific art?

That’s a great question. It’s not one I’m going to spend a lot of time answering, just because you’re an anonymous internet stranger on a website that is often a glimpse at hell on earth and I don’t know if this is some sort of convoluted gotcha! where you try to revoke my lesbian card.

As I’ve gotten older and more confident in my identity, I find I’m drawn more toward character archetypes and relationship dynamics than I am to the characters’ sexuality or the general feeling of being represented. I also prefer larger fandoms where relationships are established, simply because I find canon divergent fics and fan works that play off of those to be the most compelling and active form of fandom.

I also don’t think I have to go into the dearth of established sapphic relationships in popular media or the somewhat tone deaf way they are most often presented. I’m immediately much less interested in a couple if I get the sense that they mostly exist to win representation points also, because I find it makes their stories feel really disingenuous to me. (*coughMorcough*) As someone who came out in the 2010s queerbaiting era and had half a dozen of those books/movies/shows shoved at me by well-meaning aunts and friends to prove they were allies, they just feel distasteful to me, as well, and I have far less grace for the people behind poorly written sapphic women because it often feels insulting to me, as one myself. That’s a personal opinion.

My taste for fiction is far less black-and-white than my preferences for my partners IRL. I tend not to conflate the two, and anything I do or say about fictional men created by women is always from the understanding that they are fictional and the woman who is behind them is who I’m really appreciating. I think you’ll find I don’t engage with a lot of media written by men.

Sort of in re m/m ships versus mysogyny, I (a man) remember once talking with a friend (a cis woman), and saying that we need more video games with female player characters. My reasoning was that, aside from a tiny handful of very well written exceptions I find it difficult to really get immersed in a female character, and women who game deserve the same immersive experience that's so easy for me to find in game with male protagonists.

And my friend pointed out something I hadn't actually noticed before; most female video game protagonists aren't nearly as engaging and immersive and well written as their male counterparts. She mentioned that a lot of female protagonists don't feel immersive and realistic to her, too, and that she doesn't have much trouble identifying with a male character and getting the same immersion out of it I do. Her point was that it isn't just more female characters that we need, but better written ones. What we want to see people like herself actually portrayed in games with the same quality of writing as people like myself.

Which loops around to the point this ask is making; if people are going to ship the most interesting or well written characters of a random show, those characters are most likely going to be men, and that's a problem with the writing of the source material, not with the tastes of the shippers.

--

I think, also, it's a mistake to treat this as too 1:1 because gender roles are not exactly equal and equivalent.

Millennia of patriarchy mean that "default human" = male. No matter how feminist we personally are, we get fed a fair amount of this attitude growing up. Women have been trained from birth to identify with male characters. Men have not been so trained about female characters.

Exactly how this plays out in a given person's tastes years later and what we should do about it is another story, but I do think women are going to relate more to male characters on average than the reverse.

I don't play a ton of games, and for anything where you choose your player character, I always pick male characters. I think the last thing that really struck me that I played and that had a female player character the whole time was Tomb Raider II.

(TBH, asking me to relate more to a female character feels less like progress and more like bioessentialism, and I think this is true for a ton of women but far fewer men due to that sense of Default Human vs. Marked Category of Woman.)

Not only is Lara usually not very fleshed out, but she's a protagonist you're supposed to want to fuck, not one you're supposed to want to be. I like ladies, and this is no problem for me, but it certainly doesn't make me want more Lara Crofts to identify with.

It's not always even about realism but about the subtle factors that tell you the intent behind the character.

The real change would be to employ teams entirely of people writing for a female audience with zero intention that the game play well to any man ever. A lot of fanfic and a lot of the romance novel industry are like that, and it doesn't mean entirely female characters. It means a certain sensibility.

My Predictions for Caleb and Sophia

For the uninitiated: Caleb and Sophia are two characters that feature in short videos produced by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society intended to indoctrinate Jehovah's Witness children. They're two young children, siblings, raised as Jehovah's Witnesses and dealing with many of the problems growing up as one brings. For people raised as Jehovah's Witnesses, it brings back a flood of insane memories. I kind of can't help but like them. The kids go through things I went through myself, and as I watch I imagine what they're feeling in that moment. The things I would have felt. The thoughts and emotions I would have suppressed. If you're curious I recommend looking them up on youtube. Owen Morgan aka Telltale has a bunch of videos where he reacts to them and provides commentary. He's just one of many that cover the videos.

Whenever I watch a Caleb and Sophia video I always speculate how they end up. So here's my predictions.

We'll start with Caleb, since his story is one that easily could have been mine. Caleb is the Bart Simpson. He's a kind of rambunctious kid. He would like sports and video games if he was allowed, but he doesn't have those outlets available to him so it all becomes bible study and chores. He's given busy work at meetings and field service, and eventually he gets given "privileges" like working the soundboard and passing the microphones around at the Watchtower Magazine study or organizing and manning the literature counter. Eventually he'll make Ministerial Servant, which is the rank below Elder in the congregation and basically means he's being groomed for command. But thankfully he's never going to be an Elder. He's eventually going to be put in charge of the congregation's other rambunctious young boys, and will be responsible for studying with them and indoctrinating them into the Watchtower Society's beliefs. He's going to be seen as a role model and success story. His post high-school years will see him juggling his responsibilities with the congregation and working in a trade. Statistically window washing, but any given trade is likely. He'll apprentice under another Jehovah's Witness, possibly a relative, who is also likely an Elder who now holds his economic and social future in his hands. Now you'd think with all this going on, is Caleb happy? Well, that depends. He might genuinely be if he's kept too busy to really think about his life or what he wants from it and is too sheltered to experience anything more. But that's really difficult to do. Most JW young men get to experience just enough of the world to give them a taste, and everyone has a vice. Statistically it's porn and smoking. Chances are he'll get caught once, repent, lose his privileges, and then eventually make a slow return shortly after getting married. Caleb is getting married by 19 at the latest. He's full of so many hormones and urges if there's no release he's going to pop. So he'll marry literally the nearest non-related Jehovah's Witness girl roughly his age. If there are none nearby, he'll meet one at a convention or (scandalously) JWdate. Yes, that's real, and it's kind of an open secret because dating websites are not really what a JW should be about. Somewhere in the following years he's going to be working hard at his trade, trying to regain his status as a Ministerial Servant, and figuring out how to live with this stranger he rushed into marrying. Maybe they can make it work. Maybe they can't. I can't say. But kids will be happening soon. Eventually Caleb is going to hit a crisis moment where he needs to decide whether or not this is the life he wants. There's a roughly 66% chance he doesn't. He's got to make a choice. Does he stay in the life he has? Can he leave the Watchtower Society behind and still keep his family? That I can't say. I like to think his wife also has similar doubts, and through this their bond strengthens, they come to truly love each other deeper than they did when they first married, and leave together, sparing their children from the same life they were forced into. But doing that means they'll only ever have each other. Sometimes that's enough. Sometimes it isn't. His wife could divorce him, taking the kids and leaving him alone. He'll eventually find apostate material online and become fervently anti-JW, with only bitter memories among the ashes of a life that never had a chance to be anything but this.

Next we'll turn to Sophia. Some of my story for her is pure conjecture based on what I've seen from friends I grew up with. When I see Sophia, I see specific girls I knew growing up and I think of things they've told me about their lives. I don't have any experience being a girl in the Jehovah's Witnesses, but her story is one that I feel is honestly similar to mine just with her dealing with all of the added pressure of being a woman in a fucked up patriarchal clusterfuck like that. I'll have to make a part 2 for her, as Tumblr has a character count. I will reblog this post with that when I am done with it. Thank you for reading this far. I hope this provides some insight.

No one is shipping anyone who is related...(by that I mean a reasonable amount of related...not like 4th-5th cousins because you wouldn't even know who those people are) and if they are, the rest of us know that's weird and stay far away. I dislike Kat ships due to the age gap...but if people want to write it...whatever...it's not for me. Just like once I saw earrings made of autopsy needles and I was like "omg, that's the most disturbing thing I've seen, why would anyone want that?" but then I moved my ego aside and thought "wait a second, that's just because they aren't for me, some people might love it."

But you aren't just arguing against that but against ALL fic. People like it, a lot of ND people take comfort in reading/writing about the characters they like/relate to. Just block the tag. No one if forcing you to read it.

This isn't hate. People are upset because you are in a fandom space complaining about normal fandom things. There are at least 4/5 anons telling you this.

and there’s about 25 people agreeing with me…. ratio.

and as for some reference, i found a few TUMBLR posts (i did not go on any links, and simply found the ones that were under the tag, but trust me, there’s more)

that’s only a few examples of people shipping relatives. so to say ‘no one is shipping relatives’ but then say ‘if they are, people are very far away from this’ is a contradiction in itself, which i referred to in another post.

as i have responded to you, one of my only anons who have been actively messaging me, MY ISSUE IS WITH THE LACK OF HISTORICAL CONTEXT. you cannot tell me that people shipping howard with people is just ‘not a personal taste’ when it’s actual grooming. that’s when it starts getting weird. that’s when it crosses the line of ‘personal distaste’ and becomes an issue. these people are like ‘henry is a weirdo, these men are perverts, why would they groom poor howard like that when she was a teen’ when… y’all are shipping howard with ppl who were rounding 40 when she was BORN and hit 18 before she began puberty. that’s when it becomes an issue. that’s when you become hypocrites. THAT HAS BEEN MY ENTIRE POINT.

as for the autopsy needles…. what the fuck? ur really out here defending earrings made out of something that has been into a dead persons body, which has basically ruined my expectation of you knowing your right and wrong.

you have told me about 50 times ‘omg just block the tag’ and while yes, i could absolutely block the tag, i feel like it needs to be brought to attention, because it’s disturbing. it’s not an ego, im just telling people my opinion, which you keep bothering me about, forcing me to talk abt it.

i didn’t realise incest and paedophilia were normal fandom things…

The prevalence of male character feminization is really high in the ST fandom and I’m not sure how to feel about it. It can’t just be the hanky thing (that costume designer has no idea what they’ve unleashed!) and I understand that it’s a kink and I’m not going to shame that. But as you say, it seeps into lots of fics where it’s like people think that’s how a bottom acts.

I wondered if it was the huge influx of tik tok teens that came with S4, who might (MIGHT) be eager to just run with their own thoughts rather than following canon? I mean, a small but significant proportion of Steddie fans readily admit haven’t even watched previous seasons. A couple of authors have even said they hadn’t watched the show at all, and only know it from tik tok. Now, they’re allowed to be in the fandom. All are welcome. It’s just an interesting phenomenon. It would explain some of the poor grammar in some fics. I’m not talking all fics/all young authors, some of them are brilliant. But with dialogue, some seem to think you put a period wherever a comma would normally go, and that’s something I’ve never seen in any other fandom. And then there’s your/your, the past tense of to lie/to lay, peek/peak/pique, queue/cue, bear/bare…I could go on for ages.

But that’s beside the point. Back to feminization: another consideration is the fact that many authors write their favorite characters as a self insert of sorts. Not just fanfic authors, either: Stephen King does it all the time, and other authors too. So that means some (again, not all) female authors will write Steve (it’s usually Steve, let’s be honest here) that way because they want him to be loved the way they want to be loved, whether that involves kink or not.

I’m not a fan of it, personally. I like Steve how he is in canon, and a lot of traditionally ‘feminine’ tropes don’t fit him. When he’s written as a coy or coquettish, or someone who cries all the time, for example, it’s not to my taste. Kinda throws me out of the story, tbh. But it clearly is appealing to lots of other people.

That’s not to say that Steve doesn’t have some ‘female’ traits. I find the babygirl Steve meme as funny as anyone else, and of course he has been given the reluctant babysitter role. In S3 he was so prettily styled it was crazy, and he was the one receiving creepy facial caresses from the Russian general when any other show would have had that happen to Robin. But he can be written as he is in canon - that same pretty boy who’s also a jock, who can take a punch like a champ, is an adorable doofus and a recklessly courageous protector - and still be a bottom.

I also have no idea where it really comes from. However, the feminization for the purpose of making one character in a mlm gay relationship 'the man' of the relationship and the other 'the woman' of the relationship is a widespread issue across most fandom spaces tbh, and I know that everytime it comes up its just cycled discourse that's been talked to death - but the fact of the matter is that gay men in fandom spaces have repeatedly told us that it's harmful. There is a tasteful way to have Steve (or Eddie or whoever) explore a more feme gender expression, but it becomes very clear in fic when the feminization is being used as a way to fit a gay relationship into heteronormative gender-roles and/or fetishize the pairing. It is all very "so who wears the pants in this relationship?" imo - which really sucks. A metalhead nerd and a prom king jock can be in a relationship with each other without having to sacrifice the masculine aspects of their personalities. It is so rare in gay relationships for one person to always be the bottom or always be the top and sometimes the top is the tiny femme one and the bottom is the big masculine one. And sometimes neither has any particularly femme qualities and sometimes neither have any particularly masc qualities.

Also, on another barely related note - what is with people exaggerating their heights to fit this idea, one of the first indicators I have for "this fic might not be for me" is if one of them is suddenly towering over the other despite the fact that Joe Keery/Steve is just barely an inch taller than Joe Quinn/Eddie?? Idk if that's just a personal preference thing, and I don't always hate it but it's another thing that I feel sometimes gets used to enforce het-gender roles.

IDK if my points came across all that clearly, but the issue isn't necessarily "Stop Babygirl-ifying Steve" so much as it is "Stop Babygirl-ifying Steve in a way that's fetishizing gay men" and that can get kind of lost in the discourse I think - imo it's pretty easy to pick out when it's done well and when it's done harmfully and everyone can read what they want to but I personally am going to try and stay away from the latter.

Hello! I've been following you for a while and have been wanting to ask you: who exactly is this Federico Garcia Lorca, you seem to like him a lot and I was wondering if you might want to explain why you love him so much. Also why don't you like Salvador Dali (cause I think that has something to do with Lorca? lol) Anyway no pressure if you don't want to answer. I like your blog a lot, have a nice day! :)

first and foremost, thank you very much :-) <3 

ive written an absurd amount here, so uh tldr lorca is a spanish writer whose work i enjoy very much, i dont like dalí because of his support of facist systems and because he was an asshole plain and simple, and they are related in that they shared a weird intense homoerotic bond from roughly 1924-1929

and a more in depth explanation below should you care to read! warning it is quite literally 1.5k words. sorry

okay. let us begin

a very basic bio: federico garcía lorca was a spanish creative best known for his plays and poetry, though he was also a talented musician, draftsman, and theatrical director. he was born in 1898 and is considered part of the generación del 27, a loosely defined collection of spanish creatives and intellectuals interested in modernism emerging in the 1920s and 1930s. he was assassinated at by francoist forces at the start of the spanish civil war in 1936 due to his support of and connections to the republican government, leftist politics, and his somewhat public homosexuality. 

i have serious, academic answers for why i like him but also silly ones so i’ll start with the silly ones. he was a weird fucking guy. most modernists are weird guys but he’s weird in a unique and dare i say somewhat charming way. he played a game with his friends where he’d pretend to be dead and everyone would pretend to have a funeral for him. when he was a kid he play Catholic Mass and make his family cry during his sermons. he had a jesus complex and wrote a play about his jesus complex. weird guy i love studying his weird brain. also he was that fun type of 20th century homophobic homosexual that was like “guys relax im a cool homosexual i dont like drag” thats extremely easy and fun to ridicule (see: ode to walt whitman). this is especially bold of him since he has the world’s worst taste in men.

on a more serious note i do genuinely enjoy his poetry (and plays, but i’m not well-versed enough in theater to give an informed review), and i think its a particularly poignant and unique version of modernism. and it is both easy and fun to make fun of his loser ass homophobia, but i think generally his work portrays a far more nuanced and compelling depiction of struggling with internalized homophobia that what you see in “ode to walt whitman.” as i am interested in both modernism and queer art, he’s one of those touchstone creatives that forms the basis of this line of inquiry in my personal research interests. also, i think his drawings are severely underrated as examples of spanish modern art and in terms of the material culture of modernism and warrant more in depth scholarship than what currently exists, which is generally just as a coda to his written work.

this is something of a meta-reason, but something i’ve also become interested in as i learn more about lorca is the way in which he has become martyrized in historical and contemporary discussions. i mean like people really create Narratives out of this guy’s life. even as early as 1939 we have people like william carlos williams championing him as the martyr of the spanish civil war to galvanize support in the usa among the literary community (if anyone is interested in reading williams’s essay hit me up i have a pdf). ian gibson’s (lorca’s biographer and the guy who uncovered the details surrounding lorca’s assassination) biography is very much constructed as a narrative of an smoothed over and idealized character. i started thinking more seriously about this after watching the film bones of contention, where lorca is shown as patron saint of lgbt people oppressed under francos rule and of all those who killed during franco's rule. the director of the fundación lorca, who is his niece (great-niece?) expressed in this documentary that the family did not want his bones to be found and reburied, because there is such a strong symbolic connection to him amongst those still fighting for government recognition of the true devastation of facist rule. if they find his bones and rebury them with family, there is the concern that the government will use this as propaganda to suggest that they have dealt with all the repercussions of facism and will not diligently follow up with how fascist power is still a systematic issue. i don’t know if this makes sense, as i haven’t articulated this yet and i still don’t really know what to make of it. there’s just something about the loss of humanity here, that his family could not and cannot properly grieve him because in this horrific death he has become a symbol of resistance. and even as people use his image to delve into queer art and history and as facist resistance, there are also people working in the opposite direction, claiming him as like, a neutral historical presence that like, whether he would have wanted that or not, just isn’t true or even ethical when talking about him today. 

and as we talk about narratives i feel this is a good time to shift to dalí who is like The Narrative Guy. as mentioned previously, lorca and dalí were doing some type of gay shit for a little while there (what kind of gay shit is still up for debate). they met in madrid at the residencia de estudiantes, then became very close around 1925, when lorca first visited the dalí summer home in cadaqués. lorca visited again in 1927. they kept a regular correspondence, of which we have relatively few letters, esp those penned by lorca to dalí, and had a particularly fruitful artistic exchange in the years they were friends. lorca drew more (and exhibited his drawings in barcelona), and dalí wrote more. they shared symbols and had this sort of theoretical artistic dialogue through the analysis of saint sebastian. lorca’s head and references to lorca can be found in many of dalí’s paintings of the period, and lorca wrote his "ode to salvador dalí" (which unfortunately kind of slaps) some scholars even go as far as calling this dalí’s lorca period and lorca’s dalinian period.

in 1928 (i think?) luis buñuel (spanish filmmaker who was friends with both of them) begins to turn against lorca, supposedly because he found lorca’s work too traditional/conservative but also probably in large part also due to the fact that he was gay and that he was being gay with dalí. buñuel goes up to dalí, goes “hey i hate lorca don’t you hate lorca haha,” dalí pens this really critical and kind of rude letter to lorca saying his freshly published gypsy ballads was too traditional/conservative and he needed to be more modern etc etc it’s all very high school. dalí pulls away from lorca, goes to paris and collaborates with buñuel on un chien andalou and l’age d’or, lorca goes to new york, and they don’t see each other again until 1935 or 1936 i don’t remember the date. i guess now is as good a time as ever to say at this point in time dalí had ostensibly communist politics and affiliations, but going into late 30s/early 40s as he becomes more successful financially, he cozies up to the fascist franco regime and catholic church and other such institutions so he can live comfortably in spain. he espouses a lot of racist shit that (in my opinion) he only said to further his own career. later on in his life he does a lot of sketchy stuff relating to prints to earn a quick buck. so you know. i dont like him LOL

anyway to bring this back to lorca and narratives, dalí is understandably a key component in understanding the development of lorca’s work but a lot of what he’s said following lorca’s death just cannot be taken at face value. he claims lorca was entirely apolitical in his 1942 autobiography (obviously to make dalí’s own horrendous politics easier to swallow), and in a later interview he presented their relationship in a way that makes lorca look like a pining fool and kind of predatory. this has very clearly influenced lorca scholarship, though i think more and more people are looking at dalí’s comments more critically. in trying to manipulate his own self-image, dalí has had an insane influence over lorca’s narrative, which. grinds my gears.

i hate to end on dalí but i have no more to say lol. but at least i am spreading the word that dalí fucking sucks. gonna cite/link some shit here in the interest of transparency:

biographical details for both mostly pulled from my recollections of ian gibson’s biographies of the two (frederico garcía lorca: a life and the shameful life of salvador dalí) i will also say my understanding of dalí’s personal motives comes pretty much exclusively from gibson’s biography and its thesis, that dalí’s entire life revolved around masking and coping with his own personal sense of shame. very biased point of view but i don’t care enough about dalí to bother reading more about him. even just writing this post bummed me way the fuck out. too much dalí. i will also say i encourage everyone to NOT read gibson’s dalí biography, there’s a really transphobic section that violates the privacy of someone in dalí’s life. she’s a public figure and i’m sure it would not be hard to find speculation elsewhere, but you know. it’s just gross and all i can do is my best to prevent more people from speculating about this woman’s genitals

read a good article a while ago that sums up dalí’s racism but i can’t find it so here are some other articles providing more details, some of which i am only learning about now lol:

el pais: https://english.elpais.com/culture/2022-09-06/the-day-dali-invented-a-racist-religion.html

vice: https://www.vice.com/en/article/8qwp9v/its-really-surreal-how-salvador-dal-was-a-fascist-who-hit-women

if you are ever looking for a painfully mediocre period drama, i suggest little ashes in which robert pattinson plays dalí, making some of the most confusing acting choices of his entire career.

if you’re gonna read a lorca biography i suggest leslie stainton’s lorca: a dream of life. i haven’t read it all the way through, but it’s written more for a general audience than gibson’s hyper detailed version, and stainton isn’t afraid to point out tomfoolery on the part of lorca.

a selection of lorca poems:

fable and round of the three friends: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/623292/fable-and-round-of-the-three-friends/

ballad of the spanish civil guard: https://www.poesi.as/index214uk.htm

the guitar: https://poets.org/poem/guitar

if you made it this far i'm sorry

Hello can I have a MW2 matchup please?

I am a girl, 166cm tall and have a normal weight with a feminine body, my eyes are gray-blue and my hair is darkblond and long. I have no glasses or other impairments, my character is (Intj-t) I'm calm and melancholic, to my fellow men I am quite insensitive or even a bit apathetic. With new people I always show a critical look and am very selective. I see through the superficial very quickly and if I notice that someone is not good for me, I distance myself from the person.

But with people I trust and like, I also show my nice and loving side. (even if it is sometimes difficult for me to show it).And if I show it, then mostly by rather "smaller" touches like on the arm, back (neck), chest, hand or just standing a little close to the person and be with them. And if I do say it, then very direct but still emotional.

I am quite self-confident when I speak or do something, but when it comes to sexual relations I am still insecure (I am a virgin). Therefore I would say 60%(generally quite certain ["self-confident"] in the things I say/do and 40% in romantic/sexual or something with closer physical contact.)

Also, I would probably be more sociable when few/no one is around or near, because in my opinion that is something deep between two people, which I would like to enjoy then (probably then rather smaller touches when others are around).

Nevertheless it is with me often however still in such a way that I with me (self-esteem) and appearance still to fight have (I am insecure over my external appearance and doubt often also that my existence has a sense), for example if someone reduces me on my existence or appearance itself then with me noticeably ( I will try with this person as well it goes no more to speak or try contact with it to avoid, so that such a thing does not occur). Although I hate to show when someone manages to hurt me and therefore always try to maintain an emotionless mien/pokerface, but this can decay after a certain time (often saying these insults) and you can notice that it hurts me, what the person said to me.

And if my partner also has such problems as I have (or other psychological problems or with his physical looks), then I will prove him the opposite and try as well as possible with some kind words him these thoughts to get away .

Then briefly positive qualities about me, I have a great perseverance in terms of learning or work (eg "housewife" activities or even in the medical field, maybe that's a reason why I'm sometimes overprotective) and I can adapt well to a routine or my tasks that I should do. I am also not the type of person who complains, I can follow requirements without complaining (this does not mean that I cannot express my own opinion, I just know when it is good to mention it and when not). I always like to learn and I can accept improvements, and I am very loyal and always listen to their stories/problems.

Negative characteristics of me are that I am sometimes too honest or direct and thus unknowingly/unintentionally tell someone something that they would actually rather not have heard. Or I dissappears when I'm not ok, need space of everyone and being cold to everybody also to them I love (I always regret it, because I don't really want to be like that, but I need my "protective shield").

And I am also afraid that the people I love will be taken away from me, I already have a few and then they will be taken away from me? No, I am very selfish and try everything to prevent that.

Besides, my hobbies are reading and doing my routine well and I like nature (being outside at night) and also (pets) animals, I also like to take care of them and pet them. As for my music taste, it is quite wide I listen to everything. My clothing style is quite simple as I always wear long things and not skin showing, otherwise I feel uncomfortable and therefore prefer to keep my body "covered".

I'm sorry it's a lot of text and just do it if you want to and you have time for this, anyway thank you for reading this. :)

I had to think about your matchup really really hard, not that is was bad or that I didn’t know who I would pick for you, everything but that. I just wanted to take time with it, to be 101% sure what I want to write. I hope you’re not to angry with me

I’m gonna match you with Ghost.

You and ghost share some personality traits, and overall I think you both would fit perfect.

You both are more in the quite and anti social side, you both rather enjoy your time alone than with people you can’t really connect.

Ghost can see a lot of himself in you, let it be his old self and his current one, it’s one of the reasons he took an eye of you.

Ghost doesn’t really speak, only when it’s needed so most of the time he would only listen to you, but again as I said when he needs to speak he does.

He knows your little issues with yourself, he knows every flaw you think you have and he will do everything to convince you otherwise.

Don’t get me wrong he wouldn’t sugarcoat his words, he would give you a fact after fact after fact explaining why you don’t have to be so hard to yourself.

BUT if he notice that his words are to harsh, he tries to do better and he will change for you, and only you.

When it comes to intimacy he’s quite experienced but it were always one night stands, nothing personal, just Sex. And even though your not his first time, your his first time in a relationship. As I said, it was always sex nothing more, so he would take time with you, especially with you being a virgin. If your not ready he wouldn’t force you to anything, he would even stop you, asking if you really want that or if you only want to do it for him.

He’s not much into PDA, he hates it especially if you happen to be at the base, as a civilian or soldier it doesn’t matter, he will treat you like everyone else. He’s just way to scared to loose you, to loose the only human that really mean something for him, that he loves.

But just like you, he would show his affection trough his actions. Standing next to you, close but not too close that anyone would notice but you. Slight touches when he walks past you or when he’s in public (he always wears a mask, no matter what) he would take one of your fingers, holding it to have you close but not enough for everyone to notice.

He knows you better than you know yourself, so he would notice the slightest change in your mood or even just your eyes. If you happen to talk to a person and they insult you in a way any other person would think they mean it as a joke he notice the change in your eyes. Even though he doesn’t talk much, he would gladly talk the moment that asshead continues to shit talk you. Oh, and he knows how to use his voice, his height and his aura to make sure that assholes never tries to do smt like that again.

If it happens and he isn’t around he would notice your change too, he would ask you directly about it, wanting to know what happened. He knows he can’t just decide to hunt that asshole as ghost, he would loose his career and maybe even you, his enemies are everywhere. So he would ask you if he can accompany you the next time you have to meet with that aushole, and believe me, he would make sure that something like that never happen again.

He loves how you adapt to situations so quickly, how you’re willingly to learn new stuff or to actually listen to him.

He doesn’t think your honesty is something bad. He would rather hear a rough word that gets the job done than a sugarcoated one that doesn’t help. When you disappear he knows that he shouldn’t enter your space, as long as you don’t want him to enter it. He always disappears too if something wrong, so he’s definitely doesn’t judge you for that, but maybe he would try to at least give you some comfort while you shut yourself down on anyone. He knows that when your in your darkplace you say stuff you later regret, so he would make sure to bring you stuff like the book you love, or your tablet with snacks or a tea/coffee/hot chocolate anything he thinks might help you to be at least comfortable. He’s a ghost, you wouldn’t notice it till the smell of your favorite snack/ drink enters your nostrils.

He lost so much, he would hide you like a gem.

Nobody, really nobody would know your name, how you look like, where you’re from or anything else. Nothing and nobody, not even price.

But he would make sure to somehow contact you while he’s away, fighting for his country, for you and for your safety. He knows his job is dangerous so it would only be a “I’m alright" or "♥️” to let you know he’s safe.

He likes just to watch you doing stuff you enjoy, he doesn’t really has anything himself he enjoys besides watching you or listing to whatever you want to talk about.

But he likes your hobbies, but not really that you go outside at night, he’s just scared of you being hurt… he would train a dog and give it to you to know your save and that you can enjoy late night walks, watching stars or something like that (he said that, not me ;))

He would ask you if you want a cat or maybe rabbits to accompany while he’s away even though you have a Rottweiler that reminds you of your boyfriend.

End

Afterword: I really really hope you liked your matchup :)

ok so this is my first time doing match up i kinda know who im gonna get but i wanted to try anyways (in my delulu era btw)

so im 21, entp, leo sun libra moon cancer rising, virgo mercury, cancer venus, sagittarius mars, 160 cm, i am afab and i am mostly comfortable with the gender i was assigned at birth but is this really important idk

lmy hobbies include talking and with talking i mean lots of talking(i was in the debate team in high-school), walking, biking, binge watching, cooking and baking, and of course listening music. i usually listen emotional songs or songs to go crazy no in between. for example i listen mitski at least an hour a day but i also listen the most energetic stuff out there like crayon pop bar bar bar. i really love languages and linguistics. i love dc comics, my favorite character is zatanna. i love playing videogames and especially if it is with my friends. zatanna is my favorite thing in the world btw but i can talk about batman and batfamily nonstop.

i usually get along with everyone but i am kinda paranoid believing that they don't actually like me. like they usually say that i am kind, friendly and cool but it doesn't convince me. i have a cat named robin bc i am the batman duh... i love her she is my rock. i study english language teaching. some say im manipulative but i honestly have no idea what im doing to manipulate them? i have a pretty dark sense of humor but it is not offensive at the slightest. i bully ppl i love but i also worship them again no in-between. i am respectful and helpful but if it is my family i am the opposite bc of the trauma lol.

and the things i dislike include harry potter(im the biggest hater ngl), iron man, scarlet witch, the music eva max is doing(but in the most respectful way), harry styles(not in a respectful way i despise this man), people who say superman is boring, selfishness, not putting an effort to understand other people's feelings, most men, people constantly criticizing me, myself, people who say astrology is stupid

what my potential partner can do to make me happy: they can draw zatanna for me im a simple person i love zatanna and everything they do that is slightly related to zatanna would automatically make me happy, cuddling sessions, trolling people on the internet together, them being patient with me, them liking my cooking/baking, having inside jokes together, them getting my sense of humour, them being my safe space, them being happy, them listening/reading/watching the list i made for them and linking it, them doing the same to me, them telling me their struggles and thinking that i understand them, them not getting mad at me

i match you with... beomgyu!

we all know, gyu may be quiet at first or when hes alone- but when hes around people hes the complete opposite! keeping that in mind, long conversations of god knows what are bound to happen. he'll listen to everything you have to say even if its a lot. he does value his quiet times with you though. beomgyu also listens to emotional music so expect a lot of listening to that with him. he probably also has a playlist dedicated to u lol

i think that even if beomgyu mayyy not be the best artist (ive never seen his art so idk if hes that good or not BUT STILL) he'll draw whatever as long as it makes u happy hehe. also, gyu is all for cuddling! cuddling while trolling people on the internet..?? hes all for it!!! he will literally at anything u baked/cooked, if u made it, he KNOWS it tastes good!

really random question that's not even ST related but what's your opinion on someone (queer, but not a lesbian, if that makes a difference) using the d-slur in a fic about a character who is a canonically referred to that way (and the character is ok with it). Like is it ok because it's "in character" for the characters in the fic to use it, or is it still not ok if the author isn't a lesbain?

I know you're not like the Word of God on things like this, but I'm just curious what you think because I'm working on something, but I don't want to be offensive tyia

Hi anon!

In my opinion, it is okay for the author to write other characters using it or the lesbian character referring to herself that way either in internal or external dialogue. (I'd be careful with internal dialogue though.) It would not be okay for the author themselves to describe the character that way within the story. So you can't say, "[Insert character] likes girls because she is a dyke." when you're describing your character. I'm assuming you know this, I just felt the need to be clear.

Let's use Stranger Things as an example. Lonnie refers to Will as a "fag." The Duffer Brothers aren't openly gay men, but they wrote their character saying that. It's acceptable, because it's a character saying it, not them. (I realize this is different than your senario because Lonnie is villainized and you're speaking more in the realm of reclaiming slurs, but I think the point still stands.) If the Duffers released a script just straight up calling Will the f slur as a descriptor, obviously that would be entirely different.

So in my personal opinion, I think it's fine. As you said, I'm not an Authority really, I'm just one lesbian. But that's how I see it. I mean I personally have used the f slur in writing, and I am not a gay man. So I think it's the same.

I do think it's important to be tasteful. Use it if it adds to the characterization of your characters or is actually valuable to the story. Don't just include it because you can. If you do that, it will come across that way to the reader. Slurs and derogatory language should be used sparingly and purposefully in writing, in my opinion. So ask yourself if it really does add to the story. If it does, I personally think it's fine.

lmao rwrb is actually the best queer book i've read. and it's not for the smut, smut does nothing for me since i'm ace. and you saying it's made for straight women?? girl, where? the author is queer, most readers are queer. you are entitled to any opinion on the subject you want, but keep your wank out of the tag maybe? since it's for people who actually enjoy the media you're shitting on?

I was contemplating for a while if I should respond to this/the notes on my post, if I should edit my post or delete it. I decided on keeping it, because people said some pretty important things in the reblogs (if you haven't read those, here you go).

When I wrote my post, I was pissed. I got the book recommended many times before, often with the words 'groundbreaking', or, like you said, 'the best queer book I've ever read'. I think with these descriptions in mind, I built up too high expectations. And I still think the book has flaws (such as the lack of development of side characters). I could see that a queer book was not judged with the same criteria a mlw book would be. I can understand this for queer persons because we are desparately craving representation. But many of the voices hyping the book up so much came from straight people.

Which is when I discovered the mlm fetishization part of the fandom. And I was pissed and angry and grossed out. I probably connected two things which should not have been connected, but my anger-fueled thought was basically: "Straight people are hyping up this book so much, because they like to fetishize mlm media."

That point did not only not at all come across in my post (because I chose the wrong words), I also did not think about how I would adress the entirely wrong audience for this (as there are many queer people on tumblr). Anyways, if you're still in the mood to read it, here's my revised, cooled down and more elaborated version of everything.

"Red White and Royal Blue" does not feel like a queer story written for queer people.

RWRB is a queer story by a queer author for queer people. I got the impression it was not, because on other parts of the internet the fandom is mainly run by the 'fetishizing' part. But, using a quote from the reblogs: "Just because straights decided to fetishize a queer book doesn't mean it is written for them."

"The two boys [...] are very straight-coded"

Okay, so for this I might have used a word which isn't even existing, my apologies for that, I'm not a native english speaker. What I meant (I'm sorry I still could not find the exact term for this) is that the two are very straght-passing (i.e. displaying straight behaviors). This is not a problem of the book specifically, but of queer representation in general (more 'feminine' queer men often get ridiculized/are 'funny side kicks' rather than multi-faceted main characters). I think this is an actual problem, but this was not really the place to adress it.

"I barely could see any queer struggles despite the public coming out"

My original thought was that the book told a 'watered down' version of the queer experience to make it more appealing for heterosexual readers. What I didn't consider is that queer people might have different expectations for what they want from queer fiction, such as a world with less homophobia (instead of seeing relatable struggles).

I'll use another quote from the notes for this one: "Can we have happy gay stories? We literally need it. It's fiction for a reason. We're trying to escape reality."

"I believe y'all wouldn't have enjoyed the book as much if it wasn't for the smut."

With 'y'all' I meant the fetishizing part of the fandom, which I probably should have been clearer about. The same as said above applies here, different people have different expectations for queer media. I still think some of the sex scenes were uneccesary for the plot development, but this is just my personal taste.

"I just wish people would stop treating it as the queer love story of the decade, because it is not."

I still stand behind that one. There are better queer books out there. And that is totally fine, especially since this was Casey's first book. I actually think "I kissed Shara Wheeler" (another book of Casey) is better (which is normal, authors progress with every book they publish).

I sadly think Iksw will not have the same popularity as rwrb because mlm stories still get way more attention than any other queer identity is (which I could write at length about, but I will spare you this essay). Just because this is a personal issue for me: please read more queer books. And read more diverse queer books, maybe about ace, trans and nb characters. They deserve to get attention as well.

Closing remarks:

I'm not really a fan of of bringing queer persons down, especially not when they are providing creative content. So in case I haven't made it clear, I never meant to shit on Casey McQuiston. Their books are really good, and an important contribution to the world of queer media.

I also never meant to make any person feel uncomfortable who enjoyed the book and personally related to Henry or Alex. If that was the case for any of you, I apologize.

(last but not least, if you're still around: sorry anon for using your ask for this. I didn't want to make another post with a reply, but I also didn't want to leave your criticism unanswered)