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#i regret trying to do this shit
greenglowinspooks · 7 months
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(DCxDP) The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent (Pt. 3)
Tw: Vivisection mention, torture mention (GiW agent receiving), me not actually knowing how telegram works
Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually.
(Pt. 1 here) (Pt. 2 here) - (Pt. 4 here)
(Masterlist/subscription post)
It’s an average, ordinary afternoon in Gotham, and Jason is in hell.
Specifically, Jason is in hell because he’s been researching the GiW for the last week or so, ever since a cryptic message from Scarecrow of all people.
He still hasn’t gotten anything substantial out of it that Scarecrow hadn’t already provided. Most location data had been previously scrubbed from the database, weaponry details were apparently all stored physically, and the experiment logs seemed to be only accessible from within one of the bases, whose locations Jason did not have.
Apparently Babs and Tim were having similar issues with gathering information. He had sent a copy of the files over to them in a moment of weakness, but they were having the exact same results as him.
To make things worse, the GiW was more active than they had been previously, combing through Crime Alley and the rest of Gotham tirelessly. At least they weren’t harassing him anymore, he thought, but now he had even less of a clue what they wanted.
And to top it all off, the Joker had escaped Arkham a few days prior to Jason receiving Scarecrow’s note, and he still hadn’t done anything. That could only mean that he was planning something big, which meant more grief for Jason, because the clown was obsessed with him.
So yes, Jason wasn’t having the best week.
He got up from his computer, stretched, and walked over to the window.
The sky was Gotham’s usual grey, clouded with a toxic miasma made up of traditional pollutants and the aftermath of gas attacks both, which could generously be called ‘smog.’
The streets seemed busier than usual, or maybe that was just because Jason was having a hard time keeping his eyes focused.
With blurry vision and a dull ache in the back of his head, Jason paced through his apartment, going through everything he knew.
The GiW, or Ghost Investigation Ward, were part of a secret government project having to do with ‘ecto-entities,’ which were mostly made up of ghosts.
The GiW was able to kidnap and steal away anyone who was ‘ecto-contaminated’ to be dissected, and it was completely legal.
According to the non-censored patrol reports he was given, Jason himself was considered ecto-contaminated. So were Bruce, Damian, Steph, and Cass.
There were also several rogues that were in the same boat, but their names had been redacted, presumably by Scarecrow. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but he guessed it was either for leverage or privacy. Knowing Crane, it could be both.
Anything useful about the GiW seemed to be stored physically within their compounds, or on an operating system that couldn’t be accessed outside of certain areas.
Anything useful about ghosts was conveniently removed by Scarecrow.
And, lastly, he knew from capture logs that they had numerous captive ghosts which were definitely being experimented on. One of these ghosts was named Daniel, last name redacted, and had been turned over by his parents in return for allowing them to run their own experiments on the boy.
From what he could tell, it had been around fifty two days since he had been turned in.
Fifty two days of experimentation and dissection.
Jason had to find him.
But first, he had to find the locations of the GiW bases, and plan his entrance carefully. He couldn’t let them get away because of a simple mistake.
The only location data he had been able to find was on a picture of the boy, Daniel, a picture of a vigilante in a red suit, and a quick note left about Daniel which hadn’t been transferred into the main database.
The note was…
Jason had been around crime for a very, very long time. He understood it intimately, in a way most people would never hope to achieve.
He understood hatred, too.
And yet, the words in that note were almost incomprehensible to him.
They were mockery of a child in pain. A child that was not seen as human. A child that was seen as a threat, a monster.
The man had detailed the security surrounding the child being cut back. Apparently, the kid had some sort of sonic scream. They were removing the muzzle that inhibited it because he had screamed himself hoarse, and he couldn’t make a sound anymore.
He also mentioned that the kid was cut open at least once a day, sometimes multiple times. He was opened up, played with, and sewn back shut.
The man joked that they should just put a zipper on him, so they wouldn’t keep wasting their stitches.
Jason really, really wanted to kill that guy.
The metadata on the note traced back to a newly-bought building in Gotham’s financial district, while the photos both came from Amity Park, Illinois.
Amity Park, Illinois did not exist in any official capacity.
Tim, who had taken the Batplane to check the precise location listed in the metadata, had reported that there was a town there after all, and it was on complete media lockdown from the rest of the world. He hadn’t even been able to use Bat, Justice League, or Young Justice channels to message anyone outside of the city until he left.
Jason had checked the building in the financial district firsthand, and found that the man who had submitted the note had done so while resting on a patrol of the city. He seemed to go there often to avoid his superiors, and Jason found it easy enough to get the drop on him the third time around.
His advanced interrogation techniques hadn’t been enough to get the man to name any locations. Worse, the man definitely recognized Red Hood, and would definitely tell the rest of the GiW about what had happened as soon as he left.
So, Jason did something about that. He couldn’t kill him, unfortunately, so he did the next best thing.
The GiW sent him to a public hospital within a few hours of finding him with shattered hand bones, broken arms, and a throat with near-permanent damage. The man wouldn’t be able to speak for a month at least.
He might never write again.
Jason, having read the note over and over until the words stained the backs of his eyes, thought it was the least he deserved.
Jason sighed, stopping his pacing. He wasn’t getting anywhere with this. If anything, working himself up was only going to lower the chances of him magically coming to a realization about where the kid was or what in the hell was going on.
He walked into the kitchen, popped some leftovers into the microwave, and started them up.
Once they were done, he brought them out to his desk, intending to eat as he continued to work on the GiW case.
When he saw his screen, he froze.
Telegram had been opened to a new chat with someone he had never messaged before.
TooFine: who are you?
TooFine: why are you looking into the giw?
The messages were a couple of minutes old, probably sent while Jason was spiraling pacing. He just stared at the screen, dumbstruck.
Shakily, he responded.
RedDead: How the hell did you get my contact info
Whoever was on the other side of the screen paused for a second. Jason considered sending a quick text to Babs to tell her what was going on, but he decided that he could handle this by himself.
TooFine: got it from the backdoor I put into the giw system.
RedDead: Shit
TooFine: ok your turn
TooFine: why r u looking into the giw? seriously man
RedDead: I don’t have a single reason to tell you. Give me one and I might answer your questions
TooFine paused again. Clearly they both had issues trusting someone over the internet, and rightfully so. What they had both admitted to doing was incredibly illegal, and if someone turned them in, they would be in deep shit.
TooFine: ive been trying to take down the giw since it was created. I can help u if ur honest with me
RedDead: Oh yeah, because no one has ever lied to another person on the internet before
RedDead: But fine
RedDead: I’m looking into them because they’ve been shadowing me for over a month at this point, among other reasons
TooFine: other reasons?
Jason sighed. He shouldn’t have added that. He knew that the other guy would ask, but he said something anyways.
RedDead: They’ve got a kid. I don’t like it when people hurt kids
TooFine: Danny? he’s alive?
RedDead: From what I can tell
So he knew the kid. Or, at least, he was pretending to. It would make sense for him to be cagey about his intentions, and for him to be desperate enough to reach out.
TooFine: oh my god
TooFine: do you know what city? fuck
TooFine: fuck fuck fuck
TooFine: I need to find him man please
RedDead: He’s somewhere in Gotham
RedDead: I’ve been trying to find him for a week now but no dice. They keep everything important on separate servers
TooFine: listen man you’re a good hacker but you’re not as good as me. you need my help if we’re gonna find Danny
RedDead: Okay, what are you trying to get me to agree to?
TooFine: i’m coming to gotham and we’re going to meet up
RedDead: Hell no
RedDead: Stranger danger
TooFine: if I tell u who I am will you say yes
RedDead: ?? How am I supposed to verify if you’re telling the truth
TooFine then sent him what seemed to be a selfie. Jason’s jaw dropped at the kid’s sheer audacity.
RedDead: There’s something seriously wrong with you
TooFine: my name is Tucker Foley. i live in amity park. i’m in 10th grade
RedDead: ???????? WHAT THE HELL
TooFine: i can send u my address too
RedDead: PLEASE DON’T??
RedDead: WHAT’S YOUR FUCKING DAMAGE? DON’T DOXX YOURSELF TO ME
RedDead: WHAT IF I WANTED TO KILL YOU OR SOMETHING? WHAT IF I WAS A FED
TooFine: i have to take that chance.
TooFine: Danny is my best friend. they’ve had him for over a month and no one’s doing anything to help. mr. Lancer was the only one who cared and he gave up after they blackmailed him
TooFine: they’ve had him for OVER A MONTH. I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD.
TooFine: Sam and Jazz and I are coming to gotham and we’re going to find him no matter what it takes
TooFine: you have to help us
Jason considered, for a second, the choices he’d made in his life that had led up to this moment. He also considered, if he was in this kid’s position at his age, if he would be doing the same.
He decided to throw the kid a bone.
RedDead: [4735.jpg]
TooFine: HUH
RedDead: I’m guessing you know me
TooFine: RED HOOD??????
RedDead: No I’m just a very dedicated LARPer
TooFine: am i gonna die for Danny right now
RedDead: If I were literally anyone else, probably
RedDead: But no, you’re not. I’m gonna help you find your friend
TooFine: your username is red dead and you’re. yeah ok
RedDead: Oh come on, it’s funny
TooFine: Danny would love you
RedDead: So Danny clearly has great taste in jokes
TooFine: nope. literally loves puns and wordplay
RedDead: Nevermind
They both paused for a second. Then, Jason had a thought.
RedDead: Wait you’re in the 10th grade and you’re hacking into government databases?
TooFine: please don’t tell my parents.
RedDead: And how are you supposed to explain a sudden vacation to Gotham to your parents?
TooFine: wait so you’ll help me?
RedDead: I really hate to say it but I’m not the best at hacking, and my usual help is busy trying to track down the Joker. So, yep, we’re teaming up
TooFine: LET’S GOOOOOO
RedDead: God. I’m asking a 16 year old to help me take down a government agency and save another 16 year old
RedDead: I feel like the bat
TooFine: oh my god this is awesome. Danny is gonna flip when the actual real-life Red Hood comes to save him.
RedDead: I already regret this
TooFine: too late.
TooFine: btw do u have any place for 2 teenagers and 1 adult teenager to stay in gotham? preferably without dying but yknow.
Jason groaned. He was really, really gonna regret this, and he knew it.
Still, the alternative was some overeager kid dragging two other idiots to Gotham to find their friend and getting themselves killed. At least this way he’d have help, and damn good help at that.
He really was turning into the Bat, wasn’t he?
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mintypsii · 2 months
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probably won't finish this but yay screenshot redraw
what are they even gossiping about
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methoughtsphantom · 3 months
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Does this count as kidnapping???
A clockwork apprentice Danny that has to fake Jason’s death because he accidentally meddled in the event leading up to it and now he has to act fast because he literally can hear Batman’s running steps catching up to him so in spectacular fashion Danny panics, goes “shit shit shit” and puts Jason in the ghost version of a coma but like expert level pumps him up with so much ectoplasm the kid legit dies for a hot minute there.
…It makes Batman think his kid really is dead like he is supposed to so not all is bad, the timeline is back on track.
It’s just that now Danny can’t leave Jason to be be buried in the ground like he was meant to be originally, instead he waits until no one is looking to snatch the kid up and take him with him to the infinite realms.
Jason is legit convinced he was kidnapped.
Jason: who are you and why did you kidnap me???
Danny: what— kid I didn’t kidnapped you, I saved you
Jason: likely story
Danny: really kid I’m not kidding this is not a kidnapping
Jason: well then can I go home
Danny:
Danny: no
Jason: fucking figures
Danny: in my defense when I found you you were already kidnapped
Jason: so? kidnapping me from my kidnappers doesn’t make u better
Danny:
Danny: well it makes me the better kidnapper
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possamble · 2 months
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
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She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
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She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
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(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
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However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
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Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
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"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
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copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
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kingkatsuki · 2 months
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One of my absolute favorite “cliche” tropes is amnesia fics where reader has been dating character for years, but they forget and then they can only remember dating their ex. So it’s like they go back to the ex because it’s all they’ve ever known, and their current love has to cope with seeing the love of their life in the arms of another guy.
I could read that trope a million times over and never get bored or think it’s too repetitive.
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theonewhowails · 7 months
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in my head this is how Divine Inspiration works
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crownspeaksblog · 1 day
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I really hope that in season 2 something comes out of the daemon choking rhaenyra scene, i really really hope that the show doesn't treat it like he made a little oopsi, like it's an unsignificant, tiny moment of anger that almost means nothing and that i should move past it..
Also I hope that the writers know that i wrote off the idea that aegon could ever be sympathic the second we were told he raped someone. I hope rape isn't supposed to be one of his character quirks. I hope.
i wouldn't be afraid of this happening in another story but with this shows/this worlds track record of making men do evil shit and then moving on like it didn't happen, especially since daemon is the one who delivered the news of lucerys' death, i worry, alot.
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Let yourself imagine established WrioChi having a winter walk and Childe starts a snowball fight. It gets heated and Wriothesley ends up getting full body tackled into the ice cold water, but, thanks to cryo vision user privilege, Childe is the only one who catches a cold from it all and has to be nursed back to health.
(Wriothesley has to threaten to hand him over to Sigewinne regularly because Childe keeps trying to give him his cold via kisses)
((Childe succeeds))
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utilitycaster · 10 months
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everyone theorizing Evontra'vir is related to Evandrin Alterra and none that it's related to Evon Hytroga I see how it is
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camgoloud · 2 months
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you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons
#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups#and the later regrets of the parties involved#anyway. tell me not to text her#it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength#she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life#and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever#going to get back#and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔#the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that#really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you#felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way#instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’#and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out#so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃#i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least#we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she#like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have#said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc.#it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me#and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person…#caseyposting
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relicsongmel · 18 days
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Was doing some thinking today and realized that one of the reasons I'm really drawn to Kieran is because he's a rare example of a character that's shy (and usually good-hearted) but still has some rougher edges to him.
I feel like all too often shy characters are shoved into being portrayed as either "smol bean who would never hurt anyone and just wants friends uwu" or "brooding loner who snaps at people to cover up the fact they don't actually know how to socialize" with not a lot of wiggle room in between. While I can and do enjoy characters that (arguably) fall into those respective categories, they're a bit reductive in the sense that things are very rarely that black and white in reality. Even the kindest people have a limit to what they can tolerate. They have bad days or respond poorly to events around them that cause them stress. And the same can be said in reverse as well—point being, people are multifaceted and don't always behave as predictably as we'd like to think.
And I think Kieran reflects that dichotomy perfectly. When we first meet him, he's meek, timid, and relies heavily on his more brash and forceful older sister to help him navigate social situations where he would otherwise lose out on something valuable because he's too afraid to come forward and ask for what he wants (like how she has to ask the player to battle him on his behalf). He's often quick to cower whenever she starts to get heated, but he's also not afraid to point out when he thinks she's wrong and sometimes even gets sassy with her himself. He's undeniably sweet and gentle and shows eagerness to make friends with the player, but he becomes much more curt when he notices we're lying to him about Ogerpon. The rest of the Teal Mask storyline shows him fluctuating even further—yelling at Carmine and the player for keeping secrets from him, punching things in fits of anger...then backpedaling and apologizing for the trouble he caused a few scenes later. Spreading the truth about Ogerpon to everyone in the village to help make her happy...then selfishly demanding a battle to see who's worthy of being her Trainer when she has already clearly chosen the player.
After being lied to and suffering repeated losses at our hands (including the Pokemon he's idolized all his life choosing us over him), he leans even more heavily into his bitter side during the Indigo Disk—being cold and ruthless to pretty much everyone around him, but at the end of the day it's primarily overcompensation for what he perceives as his own personal weakness (because he's still just a kid trying to be taken seriously). He's shown to drop the act on multiple occasions—most notably when he's caught off guard by our appearance at Blueberry Academy and at a few points during the Area Zero expedition. He antagonizes the player up until the moment of his defeat and tries to catch and use Terapagos in a last-ditch moment of desperation that ends up going horribly wrong, but after everything resolves he's quick to admit his mistakes and asks the player for forgiveness and if they can still be friends. After the epilogue he's mostly back to his old self, but still seems to get worked up when provoked (e.g. when he yells at Drayton for refusing to stop calling him "ex-Champ" in one of their League Club Room interactions).
And I think this varied and sometimes contradictory behavior is precisely why Kieran is such a cohesive and believable character—because it shows how even kind, well-meaning people may have a hidden darker side that can show itself under the right circumstances. How they might let their insecurities get the better of them. How a shy, timid kid might not have the experience to know how to deal with sudden feelings of frustration and/or jealousy that are far too strong to keep to himself, so he lashes out as a result. How despite all this he remains kind, sensitive and loving at his core and shows willingness to learn from his mistakes. And that is what makes him so compelling to me.
#mel's musings#kieran#pokemon#all this to say i now have brainrot and you all are going to suffer for it#me: *sees any pokemon boy with attitude problems* son? son boy? he my son boy? ;_;#kieran is also. oddly relatable to me in a way#in the sense that i was a neurodivergent kid whose overstimulation issues among other things weren't taken seriously#and it made me really bitter and angry at both the people who caused them & the people that didn't know how to deal with me#i lashed out a lot back then. i yelled and hit and said things i didn't mean and lied so i could stay in control#and while i still think i deserved better than the shit the adults who were responsible for me put me through#i do regret a lot of what i did. and i try to make up for it by being as patient as i can with others#ALSO. oc tangent time. kieran and denise are very similar in this regard#dena felt a lack of control w/ her dad leaving but couldn't blame him bc then she'd have nowhere to vent her anger#but she's also too young and too hurt to blame herself. so she lashes out at her mom instead (granted. jen made some poor choices too)#but after her treasure hunt and her first trip into area zero she sees things in a different light and is able to reconcile with her#and that's the exact reason she's able to forgive kieran so quickly. bc she had been through a similar thing with jen#i am filled with a whole WHIRLWIND of ideas for my au denise and this cast are a match made in HEAVEN#forest for the tree#mel plays scarvi
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jrueships · 2 months
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the monthly apathy is back, rlly sorry if i said smthing to u and then u say smthing back and i don't respond for like a thousand years only to spam u after it passes and then u respond bcs ure awesome and i go on an unspoken vow of silence for yet another thousand years and the cycle just continues
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its so mindboggling that people can go “how can you say free palestine if you’re queer” as if the opinions a person has changes the validity of their life??? yall sound real similar to the people saying trans people are a danger to society
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(tw blood)
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just a silly little guy <3
(explanation in the tags + more stuff under the cut because i’m indecisive as hell)
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I LOVE going everywhere by bike. Don't need to wait for a bus. Don't need to cram myself into a bus with (urgh) people. Or even worse, what feels like every single student in town. I still get home in about the same amount of time. I'm so so flexible including with places. Like yeah sure, let's go there! I don't care if the next bus station is far away. Doesn't matter to me.
Stayed out late with friends recently. Two of em had to get their family to come pick them up because that's too far to walk and it was too late for buses. A different friend lives like 30 minutes away but always walks and their way goes through a small park where literally no one is at with few lanterns so it's pitch black and I could literally just walk them home and then take the bike which is faster and has its own light and feels and probably is safer than walking those dark ass streets at night alone.
Like. I can just do all that. And yeah, sometimes when I'm not doing too well I feel like collapsing afterwards and yeah, maybe my fingers feel like falling off a lot at this time of year but that's like. SO worth it. I have no idea how people can live and NOT go everywhere by bike. Like if it's more than 20-30 minutes maybe but even with hills.... I fucking love my bike.
#a biscuit's rambles#also i just love going out with friends til late??#with the lockdown and shit that is such an entirely new experience and its great#also i like feeling useful i think. i like walking a friend home knowing ill definitely get home safe#idk#i also like my bike. a lot#been taking it literally every single day for years now and i have no regrets#EXCEPT FOR THOSE FUCKING PEDESTRIANS THAT HEAR MY BELL AND DO NOT FUCKING MOVE#AND THE OTHER BIKES THAT JUST DONT RING THEIR BELLS OR NOT EVEN HAVE ANY#LIKE THEN YOU GOTTA AT LEAST YELL AT PEOPLE TO MOVE OVER YOU NUMBNUT#A BIKE IS QUIET THEY DO NOT HEAR YOU THEY WILL NOT MOVE OVER MAGICALLY#AND IM STUCK BEHIND YOU#ALSO ITS JUST ASSHOLE BEHAVIOUR LIKE SOMEITMES WARNING SOMEONE SO THEY KEEP TO THE BLOODY SIDE IS GOOD!!!#and dont even get me STARTED ON SOME OF THE CARS#MUCH LESS THE STUPID ASS FUCKING INFRASTRUCTURE OF MY TOWN#ITS LIKE THEY WANT BIKES TO BE RUN OVER#fun fact i have been run over before#just fuckin collided with a car#nobody would listen to me try to pick apart the details of how it felt#which was probably my way of trying to cope with that experience lol#though nothing serious happened. bUT STILL#also oh god that one stupid fucking street with those stupid ass cars NOBODY NEEDS A CAR THERE JUST BAND HTEM ALREADY#AND THE. THE FUCKIGN ROADWORKS#I CAN NOT REACH MY SCHOOL WITHOUT ALMOST BEING EITHER HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A HUGE SHOVEL OR RUN OVER BY A TRUCK#AND IF THATS NOT THE CASE THEN THERES SO MANY FCKING PEOPLE THAT EVEN IF I YELL AT THEM LIKE MAD I CANT GET PAST WITHOUT RUNNING SOMEONE#THROUGH MYSELF#im very passionate about all things bike. but thinking abt it is a huge part of my life so im allowed to be
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foxpunk · 27 days
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i think everyone who is reblogging that post about how horrible and creepy and fucked up it is to speculate about someone being possibly trans needs to
1) think about why/when these speculations are being made. context matters. are they harassing or crossing boundaries of anyone specific/an actual concrete person, or simply making comments to themselves, to friends, or in a general open online area.
2) ask yourself if it is actually so bad and harmful to say someone could be trans.
3) ask yourself if these speculations about transness actually uphold gender norms. does being trans upholds gender norms. is a trans woman reinforcing stereotype if she wears makeup, or is a transmasc reinforcing stereotype if they get top surgery. why do trans people, especially trans women, do these things. if these actual actions are okay for trans people to do as their form of gender expression, then is this actually bad to simply speculate about.
4) ask yourself if you've heard this shit before like. does this at all bring to mind how straight people found it offensive to be speculated as gay, and the subsequent gross backlash against gay people helping anyone out of the closet, and the movement of "let bros be bros" gaining more attention/priority than. yknow. simply normalizing people being gay and that not being a bad thing or an insult to think someone may be gay.
5) most importantly: who is making these speculations. is it "people" in general like the post says or is it fellow trans people, who know what it is like to be closeted with no info, no other trans people to talk to, no way to explore themselves safely until someone says something first. and is it trans people or specifically trans women, who are especially vulnerable to these things. are these trans women actually being harmful or do you view trans womens' personal speculations as inherently forceful, creepy, and invasive.
6) ask yourself why that may be.
7) be honest.
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