#i really fuck with jackie's sense of humor
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💛Smoshblr December Asks Day 1💙
Who are your top 3 cast members, that you always hope to see in a new video?
oh hi !! well.
i will actively click off a video if i want to see spencer agnew and my guy isn't there.
i will watch a video just for the honor of looking at olivia sui.
if this were months ago, i would have said jackie uweh. in our time of great loss (and great gain for jackie i hope she's having a fucking blast), i would probably say tommy bowe.
#tommy being my technical 4th And my url woof#thank you for asking this was quite fun !!#ask answered#wallpaper-inside-my-heart#i really fuck with jackie's sense of humor#and i'm just a simple dyke and olivia sui could ask me to kill someone and i'd say yes ma'am#spenner is like. he's baby to me. he's blorbo from my youtube videos. i want to put him in a snowglobe and shake it#honorable mention of damien but i relate to him too much to be able to watch him do anything i find embarrassing#autistic demisexual guy from the south that has dyed his hair purple blue and silver in the past typically paints his nails black and#wears a lot of jewelry. is it damien haas or me#also he grew up doing a martial art and me too buckaroo. my guy is from georgia my family is from georgia like dude.#damien haas and i have too many traits in common i find him so embarrassing but so so so nice to see#just like me fr.....
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OC Interview - Valerie Powell
I was tagged by @gloryride forever ago to interview my girl--Thank you, bb! I'm so late to doing this that I'm not gonna tag anyone else, but feel free to yoink it if you wanna do it!
[Answers are directly from Valerie's POV before the heist in 2077.]
.ೃ࿔*:･ NAME?
Valerie Irene Powell. [laughs] Yeah, my initials are VIP. My dad had a dorky sense of humor, and my mom let him get away with it. "Irene" is my great-grandmother's first name on her side of the family.
.ೃ࿔*:･ NICKNAME?
Pretty much just "V" these days, which was all Jackie's doing. A lot of the staff and some regulars at Nishimura's used to call me "Blue," but that was ages ago. Overly familiar acquaintances who don't know me well but think they do usually call me "Val."
.ೃ࿔*:･ GENDER?
Biologically female, no gender alterations or augmentations.
A/N - Valerie is a cis woman, but I don't see that specific language being in her vernacular.
.ೃ࿔*:･ STAR SIGN?
I was born in Night City on October 12 2041. Misty tells me that makes me a, uh--Hey, Misty, what am I again?
[Misty, calling from the other room: Libra Sun with a Taurus Moon and Scorpio Rising!]
Yeah, that. [laughs] Whatever the hell that even means.
.ೃ࿔*:･ HEIGHT?
Tall. 5'10" or 178 cm. And I admit I have a weakness for a sexy pair of heels, so I usually look a lot taller.
.ೃ࿔*:･ ORIENTATION?
People are out here fucking cyborgs with four eyes and chicks with gold dicks and electric nipples--What does this even mean? [laughs] I've never given it much thought. I like what I like, and I've liked a lot of different types of people with a lot of different things going on. [laughs again]
A/N: I say Valerie is bi, because that is the contemporary real-life word that best reflects her sexuality for me when I'm talking about her, but when I was really thinking about it from her POV and in the context of her world, I don't think she'd be too hung up on a label. She'd also probably see her wide spectrum of attraction as closer to the default, not the exception.
.ೃ࿔*:･ NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY?
I'm a typical American mutt. My dad's side of the family can mostly be traced back to Western Europe--my grandmother told me "Powell" is an Anglicized form of an old Welsh surname--and my mom's side is from the Eastern Mediterranean. Dad's side has been in NUSA for a long time (like two centuries before it was even called NUSA), but Mom's family has only been here for a few generations.
.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE FRUIT?
I just love fresh fruit. It's such a rare treat in Night City--I'll take fresh strawberries or melons over any other kind of sweet treat.
.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE SEASON?
Spring! When everything starts turning green and flowers are blooming. There aren't a ton of places in Night City where you can really experience that, but I know a few hidden gems.
.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE FLOWER?
Hydrangeas, probably. Especially the blue and purple ones. Oh, and wisteria! A tree covered in blooming wisteria is one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen.
.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE SCENT?
Freshly brewed coffee; new car smell; woodsy, smokey colognes and perfumes; real leather; whatever incense Misty uses in her shop; clothes right out of the dryer; lavender; a ton more that I know I'm forgetting!
.ೃ࿔*:･ COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE?
Strong coffee, black, maybe a little sugar if I'm feeling indulgent. Tea is nice, but it's not my caffeine fix. I like a cup of lavender or chamomile tea at night. Hot chocolate is too heavy and rich for my taste. A sip is nice, but I could never finish a cup.
.ೃ࿔*:･ AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP?
I try not to get any fewer than 6 hours, but that's easier said than done some nights. Okay, most nights.
.ೃ࿔*:･ DOG OR CAT PERSON?
You know, I've only ever seen one dog in person. A childhood friend's family had one--I don't know the breed, but it was a yippy little shit and it bit me! Never really wanted to see another dog, if I'm honest.
I like cats, though. There's a stray that hangs by Misty's place--He's the sweetest little guy. I picked up a bag of kibble we keep there to feed him when he comes around.
.ೃ࿔*:･ DREAM TRIP?
I've actually traveled a lot--My parents had to go to Biotechnica's HQ in Rome a few times when I was a kid, and they usually turned those trips into an excuse to have an extended European vacation. And I went all over the globe working for Arasaka for 7 years. I'd love to go back to Japan for non-work reasons.
.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER?
You're gonna laugh, it's so predictable. In my defense, I can't remember the last time I watched or read anything new--Actually, that's not true. Jackie made me watch one of those Bushido movies last week, and I just don't get it. Anyway. It's Elizabeth Bennet. Don't look at me--What's the next question?
.ೃ࿔*:･ NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH?
Just a sheet and comforter.
.ೃ࿔*:･ RANDOM FACT?
Oh, no, don't put me on the spot like this! [laughs] Um, okay, I shot my first firearm when I was about 7. Under intense adult supervision--My dad was really serious about self-defense and the right to bear arms, which always surprised people because he came across as such a meek science nerd. I didn't like it--It was so loud, even with earmuffs. Funny how things change.
Is that kind of a heavy note to leave on? [laughs again] Okay, how about this one: I can't roll my tongue.
#fem v#female v#fem v friday#oc: valerie v powell#g: cyberpunk 2077#long post#so the fave character one really confounded me bc who the fuck are fictional characters in this world lmao#and then i was like well we could go classic lit since that still exists#and valerie was a bit of a book nerd when she was younger#and i was like omg valerie is 100% a closet romantic we gotta go austen#and the gender and orientation ones stumped me a bit too bc i just really don't think these would be seen the same way as they are irl#i think valerie would find both questions kind of odd#this was a lot of fun to do though#and the nickname thing was a bit of fun projection from my own irritation at acquaintances calling me a shortened version of my name#that i dont like lmao
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Transformers: Rise of the Beasts is a blockbuster so uncreative that it has two separate skybeams in it
Actually, what it really reminds me of is The Forbidden Kingdom, you remember, that movie where Jackie Chan and Jet Li finally teamed up, only it was all focused on some douchey kid? This is the same thing--the Autobots and Maximals finally team up!--only it's all about some douche. Because representation.
I'm serious. The Maximals are barely in this movie. The Autobots aren't in it much more. But we get a lot of this random dude, whose sole characterization is that he's from Brooklyn. Brooklyn! He's from Brooklyn, you guys!
Could it be? Are these characters in... GASP... Brooklyn?
There's also this chick, who delivers each line like she just bit into a sandwich. It makes you miss the days of Michael Bay. Sure, the actresses he cast couldn't act either, but at least they weren't 5/10. Let's admit it--the CGI model is hotter.
The plot makes no sense and is cobbled together from older blockbusters, which slightly made sense. Unicron--you know, Galactus for robots?--eats the Maximals' homeworld. He's trying to get today's MacGuffin, the Transwarp Key, which the Maximals hide on Earth in prehistoric times. Earth: The Transformers' junk drawer. Is there a single fucking widget those damn bots own that they haven't stashed here?
Now, Unicron wants the Transwarp Key because it will allow him to travel to other planets and eat them. The Autobots want it because it will let them go home to Cybertron (this movie is in continuity with Bumblebee, when they all left Cybertron).
This compels a few questions. How did Unicron get to the Maximals' planet if he can't already travel through space? Why can't the Autobots just return to Cybertron the same way they got to Earth? The movie says that Unicron is 'trapped in another galaxy,' presumably since the Maximals left, which I think the movie says happened a couple millennia ago. This seems like a short amount of time to devour every world in a galaxy, since Unicron says that he's starving--maybe he can only get around at sublight speeds? In which case you have to wonder why he can't travel FTL, but his minions can easily make it to Earth. Shouldn't Unicron be able to travel in the same manner his minions do?
Anyway, you know what all this means. Our heroes have to find two halves of the plot coupon*. The bad guys get the plot coupons instead and use it to summon up the worse guys with a portal, allowing for an endless stream of faceless CGI hordes. Rhinox has no lines.
*("This is some Indiana Jones shit," our Brooklyn protagonist from Brooklyn helpfully notes, since the movie is desperately trying to do MCU style meta humor--lots of characters talking about how silly it is that they are interacting with giant space robots)
The movie even rips off the scene from The Avengers where Loki astrally projected to talk to Thanos. Same exact visuals and everything.
Also, it's Representation now, so the first twenty minutes are about how our protagonists are oppressed by jerky white people who do evil, oppressive things like refuse them medical treatment unless they pay their hospital bills and not give them jobs because their references are bad. Which makes it unintentionally hilarious that Brooklyn guy is the first minority lead in a Transformers movie and the first protagonist to meet his Autobot buddy by grand theft auto instead of buying a car. Brooklyn!
The movie also really wants you to know that just because the Maximals came to Earth in prehistoric times, doesn't mean they created the Nazca Lines or anything. Which, bizarrely, is done by the archaeologist lady saying they must've created the Nazca Lines and Optimus Primal saying that humans did it. So... I guess she's racist for assuming Indigenous people couldn't create the Nazca Lines? It's one of those daft moments meant only to do numbers on Twitter.
Oh, and GI Joe shows up at the end. It's supposed to be one of those 'Samuel L. Jackson meets Tony Stark' moments, but that Snake Eyes movie flopped (and the movie is set in the 90s for no reason, so anyone they get would be retirement age if they did a movie in the present day), so they just give Brooklyn guy a business card that says GI Joe on it. That's the big surprise cameo. A business card.
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Stranger Things That 70s Show AU~ That 80s Show
That 80s Show Background and Headcanons
(Eventual Eddie Munson x fem!reader)
Author’s Note: This is for the eventual fic that I want to write because I am soft for grumpy x sunshine otps and Jackie x Hyde were the definition of that. So the background is important for this AU I think.
Who knows if I will fully write a fic about this? But I love this idea, I just don’t know if anyone else will. I also wrote this while I was bored at work if you couldn’t tell.
I don’t know if I should cross-publish here and on AO3 or just AO3??? Idk? This really is a “guess I have to do it myself” fanfic scenario, as I am combining one show with a fav of mine.
Background/Headcanon:
✌ I had this in my head for a while so this is what you need to know if you haven’t seen That 70’s Show. The main group is a feminist, a conspiracy hippy, a horny foreign exchange student, a peppy cheerleader, a complete dork, and the definition of getting by on looks alone.
✌ I am getting rid of Fez’s character (the foreign exchange student) because I don’t know where to include him in this story, he wouldn’t fit in Hawkins.
✌ This is also a universe where the Upside Down doesn’t exist, and that means everyone lives! So now they are living in a goofy sitcom show instead of a paranormal drama show.
✌ I think Robin and Donna from That 70’s show would get along up to a certain point. Robin and Nancy I think could make a total feminist power couple. Nancy has the “I will fuck shit up and you up if you don’t listen to me” like Donna had and Robin has a better sense of humor than Donna.
✌ Steve could make a total Kelso and Eric combo. I feel like he’s got some hidden nerdiness in him that he doesn’t want to be known, and in this AU he’s childhood friends with Nancy, Robin, and Eddie and so this confident, popular act makes a sort of shield around his friends, to know they can’t be messed with. He also babysits the neighborhood kids from time to time, and so he’s the golden boy of Hawkins, popular, sweet, and responsible.
✌ Eddie I feel is a mix between Hyde and Eric, he’s definitely gotten the bad boy look down, listening to rock and metal, dealing weed, but he’s a total dork like Eric. He loves D&D, and Tolkien, and probably loves Star Wars and Star Trek as well.
✌ The town judged him too quickly based on his looks so the inner nerd in him kinda quiets down and is only known by his close friends. He becomes more theatrical, and dramatic, though, and starts to rave on the different conspiracies of the world to anyone who listens.
✌ Steve’s parents are Kitty and Red, since we don’t see the actual Harringtons, and I love them.
✌ The reader is a ray of sunshine, femme, and a cheerleader, who would fit into the role of Jackie but not outright Jackie. She’s into Star Wars and D&D but has to keep that quiet because she doesn’t want to get kicked off the cheer squad. She’s friends with Chrissy and they get along fairly well. She would be considered the golden girl of Hawkins.
✌ Steve keeps hitting on her (think like Season 1 or 2 Steve) and he won’t take the hint to leave her alone. She gives in and says one date and the possibility of meeting his friends as well (since she’s hoping to meet Eddie through Steve). He’s ecstatic and thinks that’s like two dates.
✌ She’s immediately drawn to Eddie, even with Steve hitting on her, she’s always had a thing for the whole bad boy aesthetic, and knowing Eddie likes the same music and movies as her??? Yeah, she’s full-on crushing.
✌ Eddie at first tries to keep up this grumpy bad boy facade so that the reader doesn’t know he likes her and also doesn’t want what little of her social status is left to come crumbling. However, once he knows she has an inner nerd like him, he kinda becomes his full dorky self that everyone loves from the show.
✌ The AU starts with everyone the same age, 16-17, in high school, so they are sophomores in high school at the start.
#stranger things#stranger things fic#fanfic#steve harrington#stranger things au#that 70s show au#eddie munson x reader#i guess but thats more so in the fic then here i guess#eddie munson#robin buckley#nancy wheeler
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❛ you have blood on your hands. ❜
❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜
❛ i won’t let you forget about me. ❜
one of these three, I could not choose because they are just such good lines.
They said that twice was a coincidence and three times was a pattern. Considering that Mariza was leaning a bit more on the superstitious end of things these days what with the… everything, she put a little more stock in that idea now. “Fate”. “Destiny”. “Some higher power fucking with her”. They all rang about the same.
Because somehow she kept finding Delta in the literal worst situations possible.
Admittedly this was more intentional this time, seeing as she was trying to find/rescue Delta from who Jackie had called “The Butcher of The Sea” and Willow had called “that fucking bitch Heather” after taking a long and hearty swig from her bottle. With a name like that, She was more than a little relieved to see the one person who had both a ship and was on her side in one piece.
She did wish Heather had taken slightly less blood, because dear gods above and below Delta was fucking heavy.
The mer collapsed twice on the way out, forcing Mariza to pull the seawater from the… frankly Mariza didn’t know what Heather’s official titles were and she was not about to go back and ask. From the maniac’s twisted fish tank (that’d work). Luckily it was seawater. Which had the added bonus of giving her the idea to keep a little seawater around just in case to use as a distraction in the future. If that didn’t make the curse worse.
Glancing at her companion, she took note of the sluggish drip of blood still streaming from Delta's arm, and the remnants of the tank she'd shattered on both her, and Mariza's shoes.
Call it a pattern.
“Why is it,” Mariza adjusted Delta’s (not bleeding) arm around her shoulder, nearly stumbling again, “Whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood?”
“’S not usually mine,” Delta slurred, swaying like she had sea legs, “I’m not the one who keeps washin... washing up on shores. Also you’re covered in blood too.”
“That was only two times,” she snapped back, “And you know it.”
Delta didn’t respond, only giggling as the two made their way through the market.
“We need to get you some food or something to get your strength up, you’re next to useless like this.”
“Like a… fish out of water?”
Mariza stopped walking, turning up to stare at Delta, whose shit eating grin betrayed no hint of the previous terror she’d shown in that awful dungeon.
“Delta, I just pulled you out of a room where you were going to be chopped up, bled, and sold for parts and this is what you say to me?”
“Yeah.”
Shaking her head, Mariza continued on before someone got the wrong idea looking at them. She’d rather not have to stab anyone else today. A bounty on her head from a large nation sounded cool, but a pirate’s bounty meant more trouble and fewer places to turn.
She'd always wanted to come to the black markets of Tar (the name really did fit) but this wasn't what she had in mind. Not to mention if Heather was still around, she'd have a bit of a rough time in the future. Mark that one off the list.
They walked for a few more minutes, finally coming to the dock where Mariza'd stashed a small rowboat to get back out to Delta's ship. Said captain nearly capsized the boat as she flopped down into it, but steadied herself out. Sitting in relative silence as Mariza heaved their way out of the port river and out to sea.
She seemed a bit more coherent now, swaying less and looking less green around the gills.
Mariza had to stop and mentally slap herself for that one. Delta's sense of humor was contagious.
The sound of Delta clearing her throat snapped her back into focus, and the small smile on Delta's face made something twinge in her chest. Something she didn't quite have a name for and was not looking to name.
“Thanks Mari. Owe you for that. Didn’t… didn’t think I’d make it out of there.”
Blood rushed to her cheeks but she tamped it down, keeping a tab on her rhythm as she rowed.
“Don’t worry about it. You are my only ride currently, and I kinda like saving your ass."
"Just my ass? You wound me."
"With that attitude next time I just might."
"Hah!"
It was going to be a long ride.
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Why I love Stizzy (or Gentlehands, if you're fancy)
Few days ago someone asked Stizzy Steddyhands and Edizzy shippers why they shipped these pairings, and I wrote the following. OP of that post never responded to the many people who wrote out thoughtful replies, and I just now saw some hateful vitrol someone was sent for shipping stizzy, so let me share with you all what i wrote on why I love stizzy:
I have to start by pointing out people will start shipping things for different reasons. Shipping is always going to be a different strokes situation, we all interpret things differently and want different things from fiction. i can explain my own tastes, but there's no guarantee i can get you to... well, get it. Like I can wax poetic about how much i love garlic, but if i'm talking to someone who hates the taste of garlic what i say isn't going to change how garlic tastes, y'know? We're tasting the same garlic with different tongues.
So for me the foundation on which most of my ships are built is humor. If i find their dynamic (or the idea of their dynamic in the case of two separate ships of characters who have never interacted in their canons) funny, i'm more likely to start shipping it, and then i'll potentially get very obsessive and read far too into it (see: icon.) Now for me, stizzy (or gentlehands if you're fancy) still exists mostly in a place of humor, which makes sense with canon because this is a comedy show. I've gotten intense about it in the sense that I've read into the way the show has depicted their interactions and i think they're sexually charged.
if you're looking at it from a certain angle, it's pretty easy to read Izzy and Stede as two guys who are horny for each other and mad about it. I made a whole post about Izzy having a reluctant crush on Stede, and then another whole post about Stede being horny on sight for Izzy, and then I made a whole* ass porn fic that was just a not-so-cleverly disguised meta on the previously mentioned Izzy-has-a-crush-on-Stede reading.
*ok technically 1/3rd ass porn fic because i've only posted the first of three chapters, and, look, i swear i've been meaning to update, but then i got really distracted by... *glances at icon* sorry DX (UPDATE: I am going to post chapter 2 on January 31st or so fucking help me.)
To summarize/build on the links: there was a lot of sexual tension in Izzy and Stede's first encounter. If we're working with the stabbing=sex metaphor we can read it as Stede sticking his dick in Izzy's face and making him submit. Stede has been established to be obsessed with pirates, and Izzy is the first cool pirate in charge of things we see Stede encounter, and Stede is so fucking hype about how it went that it helps him get over killing the first badminton twin (at least until it gets brought up again.)
And from then on the way Stede acts towards Izzy is far more aggressive than he treats any other character, even though the aggression right out of the gate at Jackie's bar is frankly undeserved. I think the aggression is Stede's misplaced arousal that he is not yet able to recognize (honestly if stizzy became canon it could be a matter of Ed undid Stede's obliviousness to his romantic love for men, and Izzy undoes Stede's obliviousness to his sexual desire for men.) Stede's an improv guy and he's unintentionally doing a "yes, and" flirtation with Izzy and matching Izzy's "badass pirate" energy because he finds it sexy.
Meanwhile Izzy can be read as pretty submissive, and in that first encounter Stede sticks a knife in his face and makes him submit to his demands. Like at the end of their first interaction Izzy doesn't even look mad (considering the anger we've seen from Izzy in the following episodes) he almost looks a little amused. Then Izzy tells Stede "this isn't over" and Stede responds "good because i kind of enjoyed it." like they're planning a second date or some shit! We don't see Izzy get truly annoyed at Stede until Ed shows interest in him. I think Izzy thought of Stede as a hot one off adversary he was gonna [REDACTED] while thinking about that night and then he wakes up the next morning with post-nut clarity and new orders to go find Stede and bring him to Blackbeard. Then suddenly Izzy is pretty pissy about Stede Bonnet.
As for how i envision them in the show's future... i mean this is fanon content and again, see: icon, i very much do not ship things solely on their strong basis in canon. i start shipping things based on funny vibes and then work backwards from there. like, for 18 years now i've shipped two characters whose closest interaction was that they stood next to each other for the duration of a single chapter. I don't need to think a ship would work in canon for that ship to work for me.
Also how close a ship will get to being canon is just not the metric anyone should use to measure how much they enjoy a ship. cautionary tale: as a tween i experienced way too much of the ATLA shipping wars and the way people would harass others over which ship was gonna be canon. my major takeaway from that was that that was a miserable way to ship, and that the "victory" of your ship being canon and theirs not being canon is not rewarding when the only reason you shipped that ship was because you thought it was going to be canon endgame. You will be much happier if you ship something because you like the dynamics of the ship and the experience of shipping it rather than if you like a ship because it is or you think it is going to be the endgame ship.
all that being said, i do actually think stizzy could totally happen in canon, because like i said: stizzy is funny and this is a comedy show. they already have the foundation that can easily be read as horny-for-the-other-and-hates-him-about-it. at one point i literally joked that i wanted them to become canon by getting into a fistfight that turns into a make-out that turns back into a fistfight and then they never speak of it. honestly it'd be fucking hilarious. But also considering Izzy got straight up maimed at the end of the last season, a more serious/genuine romance does not seem impossible, just highly unlikely.
For fun things that make me enjoy this ship: here is an audio post of the moment where Stede whispers "because i kind of enjoyed it" at Izzy after their initial meeting. Here's Stede seeing Izzy for the first time. I've described Izzy as being a "Helga Pataki type" about Stede and made a whole meme image series about it. There's Con O'Neil saying that Izzy thought Stede looked really good at the end of his sword (bonus! i asked that question at eccc! <-braggart.) Also you can read the curtain scene as Izzy being Stede's muse. There's something to be said about the framing of this shot. This gifset of Izzy looking at Stede (2nd gif and the last 2 gifs especially, wow.) Here's a compilation of Stede being a bitchy motherfucker to Izzy (bonus! in the tags you can see the gears in my head turning on the train of thought that led me to the "stede is horny for izzy" hypothesis) Here's just a funny post. And another funny post. And another funny post. Here's this post that isn't ofmd related at all but when it came across my dash all of the recent tags on it were like "stizzy" or "the stede and izzy duel" and they're absolutely correct. I'll half-jokingly call this their flirting compilation.
Additionally, while I'm not huge enough on ed/izzy and steddyhands to write about it like i did for stizzy, i do think there's something to be said (that i did already say) about how Ed seemed pretty obsessed with Stede before ever even meeting him simply based on Izzy's description of him, and how he "bested [Izzy] at swordplay" and like... guys is it normal to fall in love with someone you've never met because they made your first mate submit in a fight?? is that a normal, nonsexual, way to think about your first mate?
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EPISODE 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY'RE BACK!!!!!
there in school again and Jesús hates it lol speaking of, everyone hates Joan~ lolol
AHHH THE BLEACHERS CREATURES NOTE!! Oh shit- its funnier than i expected heh, reminds me of Mikitaka honestly~~
Wait, so this guy isn't Malcom X? Then who tf is he? fr i didnt catch a word he said when he said his name..... I guess i'll be calling him Malcom X for the rest of this liveblog and when i finish ill check what his name really is lol, i really dont wanna spoil myself on this!
POINT! attention whore confucius my beloved~~, but let's see what this professor is all about...
Abe and JFK friendship! That sounds lovely and I sure don't care! But wish the best for them shippers! I'm also crossing my fingers! Teehee :3c
INTRO!! IT'S THE SAME AS BEFORE!! eh okay, kinda wanted it to change to reflect the current relationships but the only thing that should change is the parts with Joan, JFK and Abe so.... yeah its ok...
And Candide is the sole member of the board, yeah that makes sense lol, she also took vacation, haha "tanned"
GANDHI!!!!!! SXTREAM BLU!!! BEST DUDES 4EVER!!!! KNORK!!!! G-SPOT!!!!!! RAISINS!!!!!!! wait the retainers are actually Joan's...
THE EAR PIERCING!!!!!!!!!!!
they were right, they really are teasing our cocks with gandhi what the fuck
HE'S HERE!!
YEAH GIRL INTERRUPT THAT MUSICAL, NOBODY LIKES THAT SHIT HELL YEAH!!! and there are better people out there that can explain why Jackie is epic yoo
I just want more points jsksjksjksjsjsks
yeah "well funded" but............. oh cool a rocket! so it is true that theyll send them clone to space? :D
Wow Harriet being non-conformist by being conformist thats punk as hell man!
wait book burning? lmao- NOOOOO NOT THE FUCKING MAGNETS PRESENTATION AAAA BUT THE POINTSSSS NOW WE WILL NEVER KNOW HOW DO THEY WORK!!!!
oh but harriet/not malcom x apperantly? thats looking good so far ey
Hmm i still buy the theory that Exclamation! is in Nebraska
OH umm Mr B had a very smooth animation right there.....and yeah this whole scene is funny lolol glass ceiling
JFK being a jerk ass bully!!! Hell yeah!!!! :DDD
omg this is so funny cause like JUST THIS WEDNEDSDAY! JimmyHere did his ylyl vid of the week and in that vid he went to fact check about what happens if you eat a magnet! The answer being well yeah it wont kill you but ahahahha DONT DO IT MMMMM :))))
OH MOTHERFUCKER- QUE CONCHA DE SU MADRE JJAJAJJAJA me cae chistoso este profe, con que se la andara?
OYO THE TENSION! THAT YOUTUBE SOUND EFFECT!!
I LOVE IT!!!
HE'S BACK!!
I mean yeah, it makes sense that you choose a good color when you paint a wall, specially for vandalism purposes but ey look! a canon couple passed by when Joan and Topher were in close proximity to each other! that MUST mean something right?!
MOPED!! That's SO cool! they're going Downtown babey ;3 with- the massive helmet eheh WOAH THATS TIGHT ALRIGHTTT
BILL NYE THE SCIENCE LIEEEEE JSKSJSKJSKSSKSJKS ES EXCELENTE
NADA QUE VER BOLUDAAAA NDEAAAAHHHH JSKSJKJSKSJKJS
AH BUENO EYE SEX REAL issss is this something the big mouth writers put on? ahahahhahhhhhh i want a word with them-
but does your eye got a boyfriend? WELL YEAH..........
.........
... eye got a boyfriend :v
sooo y'all just spray paint a wall? hmm ok, expecting future mischief to be more lethal next time~~
Oh so she call the feds first? hehehehhe
OHIO MENTIONED! IT HURTS TO BE THIS HIP
OOOHHHH ACCUSATIONS OF AFFAIRS~~
i love intentional animation inconsistencies uwu
OH NO ITS NOT SUNDAY OR HOLIDAYS!!!!!!
funny pose, and she's default posing lol, its kinda like the t-pose of flash/vector/2D animaion ;v
and the idea of having the idiot clone killed by their own idiocy is brilliant! BUt... his moment is over! a self contained story, what will happen next~?
oh so the sachel bleeds huh..... yknow itd be a lot funnier if humans didnt bleed but inanimate objects did, a bit of absurdist humor~~
lol suspect
Yaayyy Joan is part of the group and has friends and one of them is Topher, super important :D!
Rating: an aight start ^^/10!
Topher Bus has appeared on screen for 1:23 minutes (I'm not counting recaps or the intro)
#clone high#liveblogging#clone high season 3#so im actually not good at counting time so its aprox actually haha
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In terms of the writing for the live action, I’m less concerned about about the one liners in the trailer so much as whether or not that’s going to be the only type of joke. A lot of One Piece’s best comedic moments are very physical, often combining the humor with the action, and live action is well adept for that sort of physicality. Like what you find with Jackie Chan or Edgar Wright films. But most of the crew on the directing and writing side of production mostly have experience with crime dramas, medical dramas, superhero dramas that lean heavily towards drama, and supernatural dramas, with the only experience in comedy being of the romcom or sitcom variety.
A lot of which is genuinely good, great even! But it does mean that their main wheelhouses are mostly stories that are primarily driven by intimate interpersonal conflicts with sparse action sprinkled throughout, which I don’t feel that’s a story structure you can force One Piece to conform to without problems. Combined that with how big studio-driven projects tend to gravitate towards dialogue heavy comedy overall (the logic being it’s cheaper in the short term to film a million takes of different one liners, or film 6 straight hours of improv, and then string it all together in post) and I worry the end result of potentially taking that approach to One Piece would 80% of characters butting heads over issues that were basically footnotes in the original while also scaling back on any action/slapstick sequences that aren’t considered strictly necessary. And I really really REALLY don’t want a version of the East Blue saga where, for example, Luffy getting roped into working for the Baratie is drawn out across several scenes where crew members complain about it amongst themselves instead of roasting Luffy for the blunder in a single scene; or a pre-Arlong Park Zoro making a big stink every 20 minutes about not trusting Nami because of that one time she pushed him in Syrup Village, while also taking out the part about the Home Alone-style oil slick so it’s more a momentary annoyance that effected nothing rather than Zoro spending part of the fight making multiple attempts to claw his way up a slippery hill like a Sisyphusian himbo clown.
BUT given that Oda has writing credits on every single episodes and he apparently drew a lot of storyboards for the live action series so I’m hopeful the show keeps the physical comedy intact and the East Blue crew growing pains still stem from the endearing clumsiness and foolhardiness over the kind of interpersonal friction-to-outright-hostility that make for cheap ready-made drama to pad out runtimes but make it difficult to believe that the characters are actually friends; if that makes sense.
So far we only really have a really short teaser, in which i think it would be hard to show any physicall comedy bit?
I think the teaser was more to show us the charecters, sets and costumes (which were all amazing overall) and give us a taste of the tone, which i see is the thing that is making the most noise.
There's a lot of concern around the writing and i share that naturally, but i dont think we have enough to say for sure how its gonna be
I say until we have another trailer or some more promotional content, we enjoy the cast, the costumes and amazing REAL sets that in a cgi era are like a fucking oasis to my eyes
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flower asks!
white carnation, jasmine, azalea, bluebell, tigerlily, aster (lol), lavender, and/or freesia
Thanks for the ask! This one's a long one so buckle up.
White Carnation - Would you ever want to get a piercing? Where?
This may sound funny, but I have zero piercings (not even my ears) and I highly doubt I'll ever get any. It's just never appealed to me, idk. My grandma never pierced hers, she always wore clip-ons.
Jasmine - Describe your dream partner or best friend. What kind of personality traits do they have?
All my friends I would consider my "dream" friends (my irls and if we're friends on Tumblr you also count). As for dream partner... I mean, I'm not sure. I guess someone who's nice. They should be supportive of me and, to quote a thing my mom sent me, "the weird little things that make my heart happy." Someone who makes me excited to wake up in the morning and who would take me to the theatre once in a while. Someone who encourages me to be the best version of myself. Also someone who can take my darker sense of humor and keep me grounded when I inevitably become a whirlwind of undiagnosed adhd or whatever the fuck I have. Also some blue eyes, same as my mom blue eyes can make me absolutely weak.
That was a tangent, but I am a writer so-
Azalea - What is the most recent song you've listened to? How do you feel about it?
Okay this is gonna sound completely fucking unhinged, especially since it's so short, but last night I had Busted from Phineas and Ferb on repeat for like, three hours as I was doing a doodle because it came across my youtube feed and I realized it's like... exactly like a major scene I have planned for a fic, just without the musical swagger.
Cut to me fifteen minutes into this loop alone in my dorm room pretending I'm [Unnamed Character A] telling off [Unnamed Character B] for [Unnamed Event].
Bluebell - Do you have any pets? If so, what are their names?
I'm currently separated from them by "educational distance" but I have two kitties at home, a Tortie named Jackie and an Orange Boy Cat named Maggie (He has a more feminine name because PetSmart told us he was a girl when we adopted him since they *said* they did a spay operation... but then he had to get a surgery where they told us he was a boy... but by then Maggie had stuck and we'd already gone through three hours of arguing on what to name him in the first place).
Tigerlily - Do you have any favorite quotes from any movies, tv shows, books, or poetry? (Or from people in real life)
Y'all, I have a million favorite quotes from a million things. For now I'll give you one of each
Movie: "Ghosts are real. This much I know. There are things that tie them to a place, very much like they do us. Some remain tethered to a patch of land, a time and date, the spilling of blood, a terrible crime. But there are others-- others that hold onto an emotion, a drive, loss, revenge... Or love. Those-- They never go away." -Edith Cushing in my all time favorite movie, "Crimson Peak."
(I'm also like, 99% sure I'm being followed by a ghost or spirit of some sort so)
TV Show: I'm pretty sure me saying Henry's fifteen minute monologue in Stranger Things is cheating since that's, like, many many quotes, but I'll say it anyways because those fifteen minutes were life changing.
Book: I wish it was easier for me to find a quote, but unfortunately all my books are packed away for move-out in a couple weeks. My memory is eluding me so just pretend like I either said something really profound or something extremely stupid.
Play: "You're still beautiful." "You don't have to lie to me." "It's not lying, it's looking at things another way." From Wicked, my favorite musical (am I basic for that, maybe). Seeing this on Broadway last summer was a religious experience and I'm gonna have another one when I see it from the seventh row next year.
(I changed it to play because, fun fact, I don't read poetry that much. Another thing from my mom, she hates poetry... bear in mind this woman has a BA in English)
Real Life: "People are like 'you're weird' and I'm like 'yes, I've been waiting sixty years to get that compliment'" -my history professor. The man's said so much wild shit this semester I have an entire discord channel devoted to recording his quotes, dude's a legend.
Aster - Do you have any fictional crushes on any movie, tv show...
...
Okay I had a collage I made of every character I've had a crush on, lemme see if I can find it so I can be concise.
(One frantic search later)
It's not fully updated, so lemme just make one rq, every character I actively have a crush on (give or take one or two):
Moving on.
Lavender - What's currently on your mind (aside from the ask game)
How much of a degenerate I am.
No, but in reality, I have two packages I'm waiting for and I keep obsessively tracking them because I'm terrified they'll not get to me before my move-out date.
Freesia - What do you want people to remember you for? Serious or not serious answers.
I can say my writing in a serious and a not serious way. Remember me for my s tier descriptions and remember me for whatever the fuck this is:
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I stand by the criticisms I made of this show because I do think the early episodes were quite weak and some of the dialogu isn't great but stede did change drastically and much more than I expected....I never thought I would actually like him but by the end of the show I was like oh thank god my man stede is here he's the best etc. that man went through a hell of a lot of development
#and you know I like that he was still tearful still shaking still nervous and cowardly#the music fucked the humor was consistent and fun the characters had engaging dynamics and they really pulled off the romance#idk what went on with jackie and jim though they didn't really get to it#oluwande was underdeveloped!#and I found the plotless eps kind of goofy and not rly worth watching but when the plot hit IT HIT#also I loved how the british were protrayed. they weren't even threatening half the time#which I feel like you never see. even if they're the antagonists they're always very powerful and intimidating#thats kind of in line with TW's sense of humor though. like in jthe JJR movie#and his sense of social commentary#he makes the villains look foolish#//
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midnight city || gang!luke
gang!luke, rival gangs, mentions of drugs, alcohol and violence. smut. 2k. part 1.
feedback is appreciated
he wiped the blood off his knuckles. the feeling of beating the shit out of someone is a rush of adrenaline. it’s like getting high on coke, but he doesn’t deal with that shit. he’s known many people who do hard drugs and then end up in trouble, or dead. he appreciates his life so much. luke likes being the leader of the diamond forsaken. a mafia that dedicates its time to drug transactions and occasionally prostitution. luke doesn’t fuck with that either, at least not recently. he met this girl in a bar and he’s been thinking about her for over a month. they’ve been on a few dates, and the sex has been great. she has a great sense of humor and he can tell she’s got street smarts, which he likes. he couldn’t fathom the idea of being with someone who gets scared about his job.
“you good, bro?” ashton, luke’s right-hand man, looks over at the bruises and leans against the sink of the bathroom, lighting a joint. their day is done and it’s time to go party. luke beat the shit out of a dude who didn’t give them their money and he threatened to go to the police. there was no way they would let him leave the storage unit without a warning. luke choked the man and broke a few ribs. he’s used to the job. it’s not like he was always like this. he used to have big dreams about forming a band and become a good musician. but he fell into the wrong crowds, and now here he is. dealing drugs and other sketchy businesses. everyone in la who knows about their mafia, knows not to fuck with them. they would end up dead. the police don’t do anything, they know how dangerous they are.
luke dries his hands with a paper towel and runs his fingers through his golden locks. “yeah,” he says. he’s never walked out of a fight with anything more than a few bruises. he does boxing on his free time, so he knows how to throw a lethal punch, and knows how to avoid poor kicks.
“i heard the grey lilies will be there tonight. i swear to fucking god those girls... i would bang every single one of them, but... you know...”
the grey lilies were a girl gang. they dealt drugs, too. that’s why they were a rival to the diamond forsaken. they never got into a physical fight, but there were many times they were about to. having the best clients was a problem for the male gang, but at least they had more people wanting their goods. but still, luke was pissed that they had a quality over quantity problem. he’d grown accustomed to the luxurious lifestyle. a good place to live, the most delicious takeout, and fancy cars.
“for real?” luke looks over at his friend. he hides his excitement. sure, the grey lilies were trouble. but their top dealer, jackie, was the most fascinating creature he’d ever seen. their dates had been fun, exciting, thrilling. the idea of a secret hookup with their enemy was another rush of adrenaline. one that he actually preferred, if he was being honest.
-
it’d all started at one of the parties. luke knew jackie, or at least he knew her face and what she did for a living. he was jealous she did so good with clients. she was charming as fuck. they didn’t mean to show up at the same place at the same time, but sometimes the gangs coincided. “did you get the dresnners?” she’d asked him as she took a seat on the stool next to him. her caramel-colored hair was in a ponytail and her eyeshadow was pastel blue. she wore ripped jeans, an oversized white t shirt, and high-heeled boots. the look suited her. she looked like the vocalist of an 80s inspired punk band.
luke scoffed. he knew what she meant. they had been fighting over the dressners for weeks and they decided to go with the grey lilies. that night, the diamond forsaken got blackout drunk. “no, but you did.” he finally said, looking down at the glass of vodka in his hand.
“yeah,” she chuckled and ordered a beer. luke had always thought jackie was pretty interesting, but they’d never talked. not much, at least. just a few words here and there, mostly passive-aggressive shit. but the bickering was also part of the job. that night, though, that night neither felt like fighting. they were already buzzed. jackie took a swig of her beer and looked at him. “you wanna go outside? i got a joint. it’s legit shit, this.” she smiled.
it’s not like he frowned, but something among those lines happened. but fuck it, he thought. “sure. lead the way.”
they went to the terrace of the bar and lit up the joint. luke coughed a little and she laughed. “i told you it was legit.”
-
luke and ashton walk into the club like the kings they are. everyone stops to look at them. but shortly, they resume their activities. which mostly consists of getting drunk and high. the two men make their way towards their usual booth. michael and calum are already there. calum’s with his girl. a black beauty who gives incredible head, his words. luke takes a seat and drinks the beer in front of him, swiftly drifting off the conversation to look around. he hasn’t seen the grey lilies, but he hopes they get here soon. bathroom sex sounds good right now.
“how was the guy?” michael asks as he throws a couple of fries into his mouth. ashton tells him that luke did a good job in silencing the motherfucker. “three ribs? man, that’s dark. but cool.” he laughs.
everyone seems to stop talking again, and luke shifts his gaze towards the door. the grey lilies have arrived. they look like a grunge band. their leader, lea, wears combat boots and net tights. but his eyes are focused on the girl whose moans keeps him up at night. she looks gorgeous in that oversized that jacket that seems to swallow her whole, but still barely covers her ass. he wonders if he looks okay, sexy. he didn’t have time to change, and he hasn’t shaved in a few days. his motorcycle jacket has a few stains, but at least they’re not blood.
jackie finds him staring and she puts on a smirk. she pats the pocket of her jacket to let him know that she’s got weed on her. they rarely ever not get high together. that makes her wonder if this, this between luke and her, is just a side effect of the drug. but she doubts it. she actually likes him, even if she despises his friends. they all seem idiotic to her. luke notices the action of her hand and he immediately looks down at his drink. “imma go to the bathroom.” he announces, even though no one is hearing. they’re too into the story about the miami trip calum and his girl took last weekend.
luke stands up from the booth and snakes through the crowd. he catches a glimpse of jackie, who’s making her way towards her regular booth. “meet me outside in five,” he texts her. he watches her check her phone and smile down at the screen.
-
“they’re gonna kill us if they see us together,” jackie says as she pulls out the joint from her pocket. she knows the grey lilies hate the diamond forsaken. they think the other gang are all egocentric assholes. she used to think that, too. but she met luke. and he’s actually a sweet guy. he’s really smart, too. the strategy they use to get more clients astounds her. but it’s nice to know that the grey lilies have the better clients.
luke watches her light up the joint and he leans against the wall outside of the club. it’s dark outside and the air is cold. there aren’t many people in the terrace, but he doubts anyone will say anything about them being together. getting high together. “then we’re just gonna have to keep it a secret.” his smile is shy, and jackie thinks he’s the most adorable man. even if he has bruises on his knuckles from probably beating up some shady guy. she passes the joint and luke takes a drag. “you wanna come to my place later? i got some cds i wanna show you.” they’re both big music nerds, and he loves that. they sit on the floor of his room, high out of their minds, and they listen to oasis, jane’s addiction and red hot chili peppers.
“i don’t know. lea wants to do some kind of after party tonight. and i kinda want to be there.”
luke nods his head, he’s sort of disappointed, but it is what it is. he knows the gangs come first. it’s all about loyalty. that’s why he’d be fucked if anyone of the diamond forsaken members came out right now. but he knows they don’t smoke, except for calum occasionally -rarely, actually. so he’s not worried.
“come here,” jackie smiles as she plays with the zipper of his jacket. they’re incredibly close and she can feel the smoke coming out from luke’s mouth. she kisses him softly, licking his bottom lip. with eyes closed, luke feels stars bursting inside his lungs. he really likes her. “give me that,” she orders and he hands her the joint.
they keep smoking until there’s nothing left and they stare into each other’s eyes. jackie isn’t one to maintain eye contact, but she feels safe with luke. even if he’s forbidden fruit.
-
the men's bathroom is empty. they had to sneak in so the others couldn’t see them. luke made an excuse about going to the bar to get more drinks even if the counter was crammed. jackie said she was going out for a smoke. it’s all hands and sloppy kisses as they lock the door of one of the stalls. luke bites his lower lip as his back is pressed to the white door and jackie drops to her knees. “you gonna make me feel good?”
“imma make you feel so good, baby,” she grins and unzips his pants. he’s already hard from all the making out in the terrace. so it’s not surprise that his cock springs up as soon as his briefs are pulled down to his thighs. jackie licks the tip and he shudders. he’s gotten a fair amount of blowjobs in his life. the first one from one girl that attended his school and she thought he was going to be a musician one day. but nothing compares to jackie’s mouth. her tongue slides down his length and he closes his eyes, letting out a shaky breath. she’s ecstatic that she can make him squirm in front of her. she likes being in control, even if it doesn’t always happen. luke can be pretty dominant in the bedroom. taking her from behind roughly and choking her. jackie puts his cock in her mouth and she starts bobbing her head to the rhythm of the loud bass coming from the other side of the bathroom door. luke appreciates the little detail. his senses are heightened and it feels like she’s one more instrument adding to the song.
“fuck,” he curses under his breath as he feels the tip of his dick hit her throat. she takes him in so good. she’s an angel. luke looks down and he sees her eyes staring up at him, a subtle smirk on her lips. “you’re- you’re-” he’s trying to say something but his brain doesn’t work. the pleasure is too intense. he hits his head against the door and closes his eyes once again. he’s about to cum. exactly at the same time he hears someone come into the bathroom. fuck. “stop, stop,” he whispers to jackie and cups her face to get her off his dick. she looks through the slit of the door and sees someone she recognizes washing their hands.
“shit,” she mouths. “michael.”
-
if you wanna be added to my tag list pls let me know!
TAG LIST
@brown-eyedshell @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @myloverboyash @hopeless-renassianceluke @dukesnumber1@rip-lukes-balsamic @angelbabylu @cal-pal-cuddles @ashtons-favorite @1dthewantedlove @problematicprincessa@heartbreak-5sos @bloodmoonashton @lilacsos @irwinkitten @singt0mecalum @sublimehood @sugarcoated-pain @5sosnsfw @cal-puddies @lashtoncurls @dweebluke @rosecoloredash @@hotmessmichael @calumspeachy@ashtonsunshine @wonderland-irwin @ashtonandcalslefthand @post-traumatic-mess @damselindistressanu @c-dizzle-swizzlex @mycollectionofnuts @calteahood @rainingcal @o0idk0o @cals-eyebrows @kingxnichole @placeoftime @tirednotflirting @stylesofhemmings @sunshinelukee
#luke hemmings#luke5sos#5sos#5sos fic#luke hemmings fic#5sos smut#luke hemmings smut#luke hemmings imagine
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i’m really insecure about my face having chubby cheeks, if you’re free can i request for any of the boys with an s/o who has chubby cheeks? anything that can make me feel a bit better about it :( thank you!
Bby I bet you are the most beautiful person! Having chubby cheeks just means less wrinkles. You will be looking youthful forever hun! Also insecurities BE GONE THOT we have all the Pedro boys I could somewhat accurately write!
*Gender Neutral
*ALSO A FEW ARE 18+ SO ONLY FOR MY GIRLS, GAY, THEYS, AND THOTS. NO MINORS.
*ALSO NON OF THESE GIFS ARE MINE, CREDIT GOES TO ARTISTS WHO TOOK THE TIME TO CREATE IT (if you are an artist of these and wish for me to take it down shoot me a message and I will do so ASAP <3)
Din Djarin
When you bring up to Din your insecurity about your cheeks Din is seriously not going to understand it. He loves your face it’s a big part as to why he pursued you in the first place, he thought you were pretty and that’s HUGE for a guy who was raised to not give a fuck about appearances. He’s going to gently caress your cheeks as he brings your foreheads together to press together into a kelble kiss. He doesn’t really know what to say but he does know what to do to bring some ease to you.
Javier Pena
‘Honey, what?” your gonna get that exasperated look, y’know the one he threw at Connie when her husband went fucking missing? But unfortunately that was the wrong reaction and thus you burst into tears. Javi scrambles up to reach out to you as he cradles your face in between his neck and shoulders. He’s gonna be able to get you calm pretty damn fast as he comforts you and shows you truly how much he loves your face, especially how it looks when you find your bliss.
Frankie Morales
He’s going to empathies with you for sure. He gets insecure about his own cheeks thinking they’ve grown more puffy due to age and his habit of having a beer or two. He’s gonna sit down and ask you if you would ever think less of him because of his own puffy cheeks. When you gasp and scold him of how you could and would never. He just gives you a warm smile as you reach up to press a kiss to your temple, whispering “then stop being so mean to yourself.”
Ezra
He is instantly going to baby you once you bring up your insecurity. Provider and protector mode activated for Ez. He is going to coddle you and bring you into his personal bubble asap, waxing poetry on the spot about your face and your chubby cheeks. He thinks they are down right beautiful and brings you such a lovely quality.
Max Philips
Max is literally going to hypnotize you. It will be consensual for sure, do not worry but god he just cannot keep hearing you speak so lowly on your face. He honestly gets a little pissy about how down you are about your cheeks. “I LITERALLY call you Dollface! You can’t get anymore perfect than a goddamn doll, Sweetheart!” he does not say that with any malice it’s just that he really does not know what else to do or say to get it through your head that you are FUCKING GORGEOUS DAMMIT.
Pero Tovar
Excuse me? I’m gonna have to ask you to not speak so poorly of yourself or your husband is literally going to pop a fucking blood vessel. He just does. not. get. it. In his eyes you are perfect, unable to do wrong in any sense of the word and he WILL NOT accept you thinking so lowly of your angelic face. He’s going to seduce you into bed and get you so built up and frustrated that he will not show you mercy with release until you are repeating like a mantra “I’m perfect, I’m perfect, I’m perfect!” with every thrust.
Marcus Pike
Now why did you have to go and break this man's heart? He is so confused, how could you not see how perfect you are. He was drawn to you in the first place because of your face and that fact that you don’t like a part of it that he kisses ALL THE TIME. He just….bitch(lovingly) what?! He is gonna get you in tears though, this man is an artist not just busting art crime. You are gonna come home one day to Marcus showing you his sketchbook. It’s something he holds really close to himself, always a tad insecure with his own work. And every couple pages there is a portrait study of you and that’s the first time you are able to see how truly beautiful Marcus sees you.
Jack Daniels (Whiskey)
“Now darlin’ why would you go on ahead and rip out this old cowboy's heart?” Yes your dramatic yeehaw hunnie does not see any humor in the self deprecating joke you just cracked about your cheeks. He is gonna instantly tug you into his space, you resting on his lap as he instantly starts rubbing up and down your thigh as his other hand starts brushing his fingers delicately against your cheeks. He can never keep his hands off you already and the fact you are feeling insecure? Well Jackie-boy here is going to fix that faster than (insert yeehaw metaphor here). He’s gonna get you worked up by whispering dirty things to you going on and on how he loves to finish on your pretty face for a reason, sugar.
Dave York
He’s literally going to stop and just give you the meanest glare. So much so that you end up bursting into tears because WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DAVID!? He tends to do that sometimes, puts on a meaner face than intended due to his line of work making him a tad bit more...scary? Eh we always love a bad boy? Bad...suburban dad?? He’s going to usher you to sit down on the couch as he kneels in front of you to match your eye level. His gaze is intense, it always is. “I need you to listen because I really only want this to be a one time conversation. I don’t see what you see because all I see is the person I love, okay? Good.” He’s going to give your ass a squeeze when you both stand up and you give him a hug. He’s not the best with emotions but for you, he tries.
#the mandolorian x reader#din djarin x reader#javier pena x reader#frankie morales x reader#francisco morales x reader#ezra (prospect) x reader#ezra prospect x reader#max phillips x reader#pero tovar x reader#marcus pike x reader#agent whiskey x reader#jack daniels x reader
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Sooo I might be obsessed with Jackie and Hyde dating without the Kelso intro... I wish you would write a story where Hyde and Jackie date without her having dated Kelso first. I would love to see Hyde introducing her as his girlfriend bonus if he introduces her to red and kitty!
I'm sorry it took me so long to finish and that it's so long, I got carried away.
Slight trigger warning- nothing happens but attempted non con by background character.
********************************************
The school was deserted for the most part and Hyde was over it. But Forman had to get stuck staying late to work on a project today of all days.
There was nothing remarkable about today, Hyde was just in a bad mood and if he could blame someone else then he’d take the chance.
He was down to counting the minutes that Forman said he’d be done but it was too late, he needed a smoke. He wasn’t stupid enough to do that out in the open at school, you never knew who would narc on you, but he had a pack of cigarettes in his pocket and a craving he needed to tackle.
He was heading off behind the bleachers, Forman would know to look for him there, it was where he always smoked when he got stuck waiting on him.
He heard a commotion, just what he needed his usual spot taken by some horny losers who couldn’t get a room.
“Stop it,” the girl said firmly.
“Come on baby.”
“I am not your baby and I said no.”
Never one to stay out of a fight, Hyde rushed forward.
“Get your hands off of me,” the girl shrieked.
“Hey,” Hyde pulled the boy off the girl and punched him in the face.
He went down hard.
“I think she said no,” Hyde loomed over him. He’d never even seen this kid before, but his blood was on Hyde’s knuckled and streaming down his face.
“Man whatever, she’s just a fucking tease.”
The girl came over and kicked him in the stomach, making him double over on the ground and wheeze.
“You’re a disgusting pig,” she said and started to walk away.
He wheezed, “You can forget about me driving you home.”
“You think,” she shouted before turning back and kicking him in the shins for good measure.
Hyde kept a reasonable distance but didn’t want to leave her out there all alone.
Nearing the parking lot she stopped walking and turned toward her savior.
Hyde got closer.
“Thank you uh… I don’t know your name,” she said shyly.
“Hyde.”
She snorted, “That’s not your name. No one would name their kid Hyde.”
He knew he should have been more annoyed but her change in attitude caught his attention. Though he was still a little annoyed, “It’s my last name.”
“Then what’s your real name?”
“Are you always this big a pain in the ass?”
“Usually yes, so what is your name?” She asked again.
He could have just walked away after she got to safety, but here he was playing 20 questions with this irritating cheerleader. “Steven,” he growled, “but my name is Hyde.”
“Was that so difficult?” Now she looked almost timid, “Thank you, Steven Hyde.”
There was something in the way she said it, the way she looked at him, the way she looked so small. She’d gone from kicking ass to joking, and now she looked not exactly scared of him, but definitely unsure. All his irritation with her melted.
He softened his voice, “Are you okay?” He looked her over, she didn’t seem like she got hurt but you never knew.
She nodded, “I’m fine, he yanked me behind the bleachers and everyone else was gone. I’m really lucky you were here.”
“Well, I don’t think he’ll try it again with you,” He tried distracting her with humor, “did you break a rib or something?”
“No, that’s too far to the side, I might have got his gallbladder though.” She said brightly as if she were simply stating that today was sunny out.
“Hyde,” Eric shouted from the parking lot.
“Hold on a second,” he told her.
He must be a complete God Damned idiot for what he was about to do. Well, Red did always say he was a dumbass.
“Took you long enough,” Hyde growled.
“Sorry mom, my partner nearly burned down the chem lab, it was stay late or fail the semester.”
“Whatever Forman, look can you drop her off at home?” Hyde gestured towards the girl watching him curiously. He’d told her to hold on so she would. Either way, she was curious about him.
Eric raised an eyebrow, “What have you been up to while I was in class?
“Fighting actually.”
“Yeah, that makes the most sense, but sure I can drop her off.”
Hyde ran back to her, “You want a ride home?”
“You’re seriously offering to take me home?”
“Well, you’re ride seems to have left for some reason.
“That would be great actually,” she said relieved. She hated walking home after practice. After school, she didn’t mind, but now it was a little late to be walking alone and with what just happened she didn’t want to be alone.
She followed him to the parking lot.
“So Hyde who’s your friend?” Eric asked. It was so rare that they ever saw Hyde talk to a girl let alone offer her a ride home Eric was not about to squander this opportunity.
“Uh,” he realized in their fighting over his name he never asked her for hers.
“I was wondering if you had any manners,” she said coyly to Hyde. “I’m Jackie Burkhart.”
“I’m Eric,”
Jackie turned to Hyde, “See how easy that was Steven.”
Eric’s face nearly split in two, “Steven, have you been rude?”
“You want me to hit you because I will.”
Eric smirked at him, a silent promise that he would bring it up again.
They got in and Styx started blaring from the radio.
“Styx really?” Hyde groaned at Forman.
“I’m driving, it’s my car, I pick whatever music I want,”
“Maybe Jackie doesn’t like Styx.” He was hoping that having ears that worked she would agree with him.
“They’re not bad,” Jackie said. “But I like ABBA more, they’re my favorite.”
Hyde rolled his eyes. “You cannot be serious?”
“I am, they’re amazing.”
Eric had a perfectly awful idea, this cheerleader seemed to be annoying Hyde and he was taking it probably because she was a girl. But his torture could go a little farther.
“Hey Jackie, some of our friends are hanging out at my house if you want to hang out for a while?”
“Really, who’s there?”
“There’s that foreign exchange kid Fez, Kelso, and my girlfriend Donna. We’re probably just going to watch TV but someone is bound to do something stupid.”
“Alright, it sounds fun,”
Hyde shot him a look that meant he’d kill him. Well, he hadn’t done it yet, so Eric didn’t worry about it.
When they walked into the basement they saw two boys trying to duct tape fireworks to a suit, and a redheaded girl with her head in her hands.
“Is everything okay?” Hyde asked Donna.
“I hid the matches but they’re still stupid,” Donna said without looking up.
“Hey, everyone this is Jackie,” Eric announced.
At that, Donna looked up.
“Oh thank God, another girl.” Donna was desperate for anyone who was not one of her stupid friends to talk to. “Please save me from this idiotic amount of testosterone.”
Jackie made a beeline for Donna and plopped down next to her, “You must be Donna, Eric talked about you on the way over.”
Kelso finally looked up from his firework suit.
“Oh my god she’s hot.” He jumped over to the couch. “Since you’re a cheerleader we should totally go out,” Kelso said.
Donna sighed, “I told you, stupid.”
“Why?” Jackie looked up at him blankly.
“Cuz you’re like super hot.”
“I know that, but why does that mean I should go out with you?”
“Burn,” Fez looked to Eric hopefully, “did I do that right?”
“You’re getting the hang of it buddy.”
The girls chatted and tried to ignore Kelso and Fez.
“We were talking about going to the disco in Kenosha, that seems like it would be up your alley.”
“Absolutely, when are you going? I will totally go.”
“Donna, really, disco?” Hyde asked, he hated disco.
“Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean we all can’t be seen in the only club within three hours for a night,” she shot back.
“But who are you going with? Like you shouldn’t go alone,” Kelso said trying to push himself into their conversation hoping to get an in with Jackie.
“Hmm, I’ll go with,” Jackie’s eyes roamed the three single boys landing briefly on each of them, and lingering a little longer on Hyde.
“Donna. She did invite me after all.”
“You can’t go with Donna, you have to go with a guy?”
Hyde smirked at Kelso not getting his way.
“Who said I do? And I don’t really know any of you, so Donna will you go with me and these boys can do whatever?”
“You know what sure, except Eric definitely has to go with us because of the car.”
“Because of the car? Really, is all I am to you a set of wheels.”
“No, just when we want to leave town.” Donna turned back to Jackie, “We’re going on Saturday,”
“Perfect. Do you have a dress we could go shopping before then?”
“That would be great.”
They hung out for a while until Jackie finally called her dad to pick her up before her curfew. “I have to get going, but this was fun,” she stood and headed for the door, “It was nice meeting everyone.”
Once she was gone it was like the volume dropped three decibels.
“So, looks like Donna has a new friend too.”
“Jackie’s cool, energetic like crazy but she’s cool. Though she did call me a lumberjack because of the flannel shirt.”
“How did you meet her?”
“Oh, I didn’t,” Eric grinned idiotically, “Our boy Hyde here met her while I was stuck in the Science Lab. Now how did that happen?”
“Get bent,” Hyde replied.
“Manners like that, no wonder she agreed to hang out here. She was totally swept away,” Eric kept egging him on.
“Some guy was hassling her and she was alone alright,” Hyde crossed his arms and went back to watching TV.
“So you swoop in and try to get some with heroic gratitude nice,” Kelso said.
“Hey, Kelso come here,” Hyde waved him over.
Kelso stood beside him and Hyde nailed him in the side.
“Sorry, ow,” he pouted.
“Say something like that in front of Jackie and she might do worse, she did to the guy that was bothering her.” Hyde suppressed a smile.
He didn’t smile, but still, the memory of her as little as she was, kicking the crap out of that guy, it made him kind of fond of her.
Hyde humiliated himself over and over, he didn’t know why he did it. He also didn’t know why he was going to this stupid club, other than watching Kelso get rejected that never got old.
But Red saw right through him and Kitty spent the next few days teaching him to dance. He wasn’t great but he could manage.
Plus he’d seen Kelso dance before. Hyde was practically Fred Astaire in comparison.
Hyde was waiting outside for everyone since Donna wanted to see Eric’s reaction to her in girly clothes.
He looked up when he heard a car door shut.
She was stunning. Gone was the cute little girl he’d found behind the bleachers, she looked radiant with her hair curled but loose ringlets framing her delicate face.
“Wow, you look beautiful,”
Her smile turned almost shy at the praise. “Thank you, you clean up pretty good yourself.”
“Yeah, well.”
Before he could say anything else Forman and Donna came outside and they were followed by Tweedle Dee and Dumb.
“What no flowers?” Jackie asked Donna.
“You asked me remember?”
“Hmm, I guess you’re right.”
“Hey, stop trying to steal my girlfriend,” Eric joked realizing he too didn’t have flowers for Donna.
“Don’t be so hasty Eric,” Kelso said. “Just see where the night takes it.”
Everyone except Fez hit or kicked him at once.
“Alright everyone in before my mom tries to get pictures.”
“I’m not sitting next to Michael,” Jackie declared.
“You take window, I’ll sit beside you, that work?” Hyde asked.
“Yes,” she agreed easily.
“Great let’s get in the car and go.” He desperately wanted to get going before Mrs. Forman found them all.
Kelso asked her to dance, which Jackie refused, she’d watched him dance alone on the floor, she wasn’t sure if he was going to hurt someone and she didn’t want to be liable.
Fez asked her next when she refused he and Donna went to the dance floor.
He was a great dancer, she admitted.
The truth was she didn’t want to dance with them, she was interested in someone else.
“Why aren’t you dancing,” Hyde asked her,
“I didn’t want to dance with Kelso or Fez.”
“But you want to dance?”
“Yes,” she said honestly. She had that timid look from a few days before and he couldn’t help himself.
He had after all spent days learning these stupid dances. Might as well use it.
“Come on,” He held out his hand and she took it immediately.
They danced closer than Fez and Donna did.
Jackie felt the rush of being so close to him electrify her skin.
“You’re a really good dancer,” Jackie told him.
“Thanks, so are you. So why weren’t you dancing before?” He wanted to hear it from her, she’d nearly ignored Fez and Kelso but put up zero fight to dancing with him.
“The right person didn’t ask me.”
“And I’m the right person?”
She smiled up at him, and his breath caught. “
You just might be, Steven Hyde.”
She annoyed him, but she intrigued him more. She was bossy and bratty, but she’d won over Donna and maybe even Forman. There was just something about her he couldn’t help wanting to discover.
“You want to go out sometime?”
“Like on a date?”
He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, on a date.”
“I would love that, Steven.” Jackie stood on her toes and kissed his cheek gently.
For some reason, he didn’t mind her calling him Steven. It was weird that he didn’t, but something told him he’d have to get used to that.
A few weeks later
“Red, Mrs. Forman, can I talk to you for a minute?
“No,” Red growled leaning over the engine of the car.
“Sure, Honey what is it?”
“I just wanted you to meet someone,” He waved her over from inside the house, “this is my girlfriend Jackie.”
They’d hung out in the basement a few times but they tended to go off by themselves to get to know each other without the hassle of the others.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Jackie said nervously. She knew how important the Forman’s were to Steven.
“Steven,” Kitty jokingly scolded, “you didn’t tell us you had such a cute girlfriend.”
“Don’t tell her that, she’ll get a big head.”
“Steven, I already know I’m cute. And thank you, Mrs. Forman.”
“See,” Hyde reiterated.
“Yeah, well I need to fix this cute carburetor,” Red went back over to the cruiser.
“Do you need some help?” Jackie offered.
“I think I need to go get my camera,” Kitty said rushing off into the kitchen.
#that 70s show fanfic#that 70s show#jackie and steven fic#jackie and hyde fic#jackie and steven#jackie burkhart#jackieburkhart/stevenhyde#jackie x hyde#jackie x steven
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80 Johnny/V if you’re up for that!
“80. How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?
Was supposed to be sweet turned kinda steamy...
"You ever wonder if we woulda met, ya know, if you still had your own body?"
"Go to sleep, sweetheart.” V sat up from her bed, staring at the rocker sitting on her couch.
"C'moooon. Humor me will, ya? Consider it you paying rent for living in my head or something." Johnny laughed, putting his shades away.
"Well fuck, if you put it that way. Never wanna piss of the landlady." He disappeared before popping right in front of her, sitting beside her on the bed, arms on his knees.
“Let’s pretend it’s the year 2022. Would you go to one of our concerts?"
V hummed and Johnny wanted to roll his eyes at how serious she looked. "Ok so... Jackie would probably bring me to one of your gigs."
"Excellent, moving on!" Johnny raised one hand, gesturing as he continued this little scenario. "Now, you see me. I'm fucking amazing, and obviously you'd wanna find out who that cool rocker onstage was."
V scoffed. "Well what if I wanted to meet Henry, not you?" Johnny glared at her and she snorted. "Yeah ok, not one of my best jokes. But really, Jackie’d probably wanna meet you guys more than I do.”
“And so our story continues…” Johnny continued. “Jackie begs you to help him meet the band and you’re hot enough that the bouncer lets you both go backstage.”
He noticed V laugh when he said she was hot, hey he was an asshole but he wasn’t a lying asshole…
Only sometimes.
“Your choom’s excited to see all of us and we let you guys hang around. Now, what do you do?”
V smirked moving closer to him. “I’d probably be standing awkwardly to the side, wanting to go home but i didn’t wanna spoil Jackie’s big day.”
Johnny grinned, deciding to see how far he could push her. “Let’s say I walk up to ‘ya. You can’t take your eyes off of me-”
“Uh-huh, sure.”
“-don’t interrupt. I lean in close, ask ya if you wanna get out of here, grab a couple drinks.”
V’s so close now that if Johnny weren’t a construct, he’d feel her breath touch his face. “I’d say I’m not interested.”
“And I’d call bullshit, that you wouldn’t regret a night out with me.” He noticed her glance at his lips before looking him in the eyes.
“Let’s say I do give you a chance. What then?” she asked.
“You tell Jackie you’ll see ‘im tomorrow. I lead you outside to the parking lot and we’d get in my porsche.”
“Would ‘ya hold the door open for me?” she grinned.
Johnny took a deep breath, before thinking ‘fuck it’ and leaning close that there was barely any space between them now. “Actually, I was thinking I’d push you in and we’d start making out. Don’t think I’d make it to the Atlantis.”
One of the perks of sharing her body meant Johnny could tell what she was feeling. And fuck she was so turned on.
And she knew that he knew.
“T-then what?” she asked breathlessly and he could feel himself harden already.
“Your shirt’s in pieces, ripped it off as soon as I was on ‘ya. I’d take one nipple in my mouth and start kissing it. You’re moaning, begging me for more. You-“
V screamed.
And not in a good way. She held her head and falls down onto the pillow on her bed.
That fucking chip.
Johnny comes back into his senses and starts calling her name, telling her to fight through it. It’s one of the longer attacks and she actually cried this time.
When she’s done, she smiles up at him and he feels his heart sink. “I… I better get some rest.” she said.
Johnny can only nod. “Yeah… you go do that.”
“Thanks for the story, though. Would love to hear how it ends.”
Johnny chuckled and pats her. “Some other time, princess. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
He waited until her breathing calmed down and she was asleep.
He patted her head and kissed her hair. “I fucking love you, sweetheart. We’re getting that chip outta ya and you’re gonna live. That I promise.”
#wow ok#it's my first time writing a prompt on tumblr so forgive me if i dont know how the format usually is#johnny silverhand x v#my fic#cyberpunk 2077#viktorvek#johnny silverhand#my writing
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Hey! I was wondering if you could do promt #3 for Hyde x reader? (Love your story telling btw)
I (fake) love you - Steven Hyde x reader
a\n: this somehow ended up as a fake dating au but i’m not mad
trigger warnings: cursing, weed mentioning, Hyde and reader are pretending to “do it” as Kelso would say, i’d say it has some angst and fluff but nithing too extreme.
I was always good at reading people. Normally, I could talk to someone for 5 minutes and know everything there is to know about them, for example, the first time I met Michael Kelso, I knew immediately he’s dependable, loyal and likes to be pushed around. Most people thinks it’s his lack of smarts that makes it easy to manipulate him, but the truth is he just seeks attention, he grew up in such a big family, and as just another sandwich kid, he never got that much attention. He’s more than just a good-looking, brainless goofball.
Eric Forman? Smart kid, heart of gold. His father crashed his self esteem and his belief he has no worth sunk so deep into his brain he’s not even trying to prove it wrong. He’s not just a nerdy smart-ass, too bad he’s scared of his potential.
Donna Pinciotti is the girl who will go far. She’ll make history, i can tell you that. She is passionate, and she will not hesitate to fight over what she sees right, yet will admit if she did you wrong. She grew up in a loving family overall, but she doesn't want to end up like her dad: rich, lazy and stuck in a small town. She’s a big city kind of girl.
Fez is sweet, desperate and eats candy to cope with his loneliness. He’s not afraid of his feminine side, and cares about his looks in a different way then Kelso. He might be weird, and have a tendency to say the most inappropriate things, but he never looks to hurt someone or make them uncomfortable, he just wants to feel loved.
Jackie Burkhart was a bit harder to crack, and her first impression on me was semi-wrong. I could tell she’s more than a spoiled brat, I just didn’t know if it’s in a good way - like, she might be smart and kind, with a broken point of view in the world but she’s willing to look at it from a different point of view. On the other hand, she could be a mean, spoiled brat who’s going to succeed big time by manipulating the hell out of everything around her. Turns out it’s a little bit of both - she’s kind, and she learns the world is not all glitter and unicorns, but she manipulates to get things her way. At least she doesn't make a fuss when she doesn't get what she wanted. Well, not as much.
With all that, there was still one mystery in the little group I found myself a part of: Steven Hyde.I could not tell you a thing about him. I knew the basics - his name, the fact his parents are not there, and that he likes weed, beer and Zeppelin. He hid every sign of emotions behind sarcasm, and had walls taller than anyone i’ve ever met.
I started hanging out with them when I moved here. Kelso made a move on me the second he saw me, and he still tries to this day, but it’s obvious our relationship is strictly platonic and it’s not going to change, even though he thinks it’s better. One time I jokingly agreed and he said, and I quote, “ew, no, you’re like a sister to me”, but he keeps on making sexual advances on me for the sake of the joke.
I quickly befriended the rest of the guys (and girls), and even though i learned to love all of them, there was someone i really loved. Not Kelso, he’s practically my brother, it was Hyde i was so into, but i can’t tell you why. Maybe it was his sense of humor, maybe it was his kind heart or maybe it was the challenge.
“Hey, (y\n), penny for your thoughts?” Donna said, breaking the silence. The TV was on, but it was clear my head is somewhere else. “She’s thinking ‘bout Hyde” Kelso was quick to tease. “Shut up” I growled at him, and suddenly everyone’s focus was on me. Hyde wasn’t there, Kelso might have zero tact, but he would never throw me under the bus, cause he knows i will get into the bus and run over him. It was me and him on the couch, and Donna and Eric across from each other on the chairs as a way to avoid them making out instead of hanging out with their friends. “(y\n), do you want to tell us something?” Eric asks. “I- no, it’s stupid. Kelso is stupid, remember the time he ate a blueberry on a field trip and it ended up being the poisneus one we were warned about when we arrived?” i said, hoping it will drive the attention to tease him and not me. “Oh, that was funny, but not as funny as the time he revealed you have a crush on Hyde” Donna said, “but good try”. I sighed. “Look, it’s not like i’m in love with him or something, he’s just a mystery I want to solve. A mystery with a kind smile and great sense of humor. Look, it’s nothing, Kelso is just obsessed with the idea his best friends will date” i said. “oh, Tell them what you told me, come on! It was hilarious” Kelso said, ignoring the last part of my confession, and when I refused he decided to share my words he did it himself. “God, Kelso, his voice is so hot, i can listen to him for hours even if it’s just the stupid car that runs on water non-sense” He said, immitating a high-pitched voice that didn’t really sound like mine. “That is not what i said” i tried to redeem myself, but Eric and Donna were too busy laughing to hear me. “I just said he’s voice is calming” I kept trying.
“Who’s voice?” Hude asked as he jumped over the couch and took the open spot next to me. “Y-” Kelso started, but i hit his chest, “-our mama” he changed the ending of the word, “BURN!”. “I was talking about the weather guy” I made up, but did I lie? “You’re so weird, man” Hyde sighed, stretching and leaving his hand on the couch. “Well, kelso, we have this thing, you coming?” Donna said, “with Jackie, the double date i can’t believe i agreed to”. Kelso looked confused, “it’s tomorrow”. “No, it’s today” Eric insisted, winking at him and nudging his head at me and hyde. “What? Jackie is going to kill me-” “we won’t tell her you forgot” Donna plays along. I saw right through the act, but kelso really thought he forgot.
He left the basement along with Eric and donna.It wasn’t the first time me and Hyde we’re alone, but usually it was Kelso ditching me and Hyde when the three of us hung out to try and get a girl to sleep with. I’m telling you, one day he’ll get someone pregnant.
“What’s with them?” Hyde sighed and got up to get a popsicle. “Who fucking knows?” i replied, trying to think of a way to change the subject. “You saw how Eric pointed at us? Like what, are they trying to get us alone?” Hyde continued, handing me a popsicle as he sat down. “I- yeah” i admitted, “Kelso has this crazy idea, he wants us to date cause we’re both his best friends or something” i explained, leaving out the part i was on board with the idea, and the fact that it was originally mine. “Oh, we should totally prank them!” Hyde said, “like, let’s pretend to date and be the most annoying couple ever”. I looked at him confused. “Like, we can use cutest couple names, ditch them to be alone or just make out in their face constantly” his smile got wider and wider, and I can't say no to that smile. “Sure, yeah, could be fun”.
The next day, I walked in the basement wearing your favourite outfit, ready to annoy the heck out of my friend. The moment you entered the room, Hyde got up and pulled you onto a hug. “Hey, lover boy” I said, kissing him on the lips. We had to practice doing that without laughing. We kissed like, 10 times yesterday when we planned the prank, his reply kept breaking us and we had to do it again. “Hi, apple pai” he said, kissing me one more time. Everyone looked at each other, exchaging “what the fuck?”s with their eyes. Hyde placed his hand on my waist and walked me to the couch, “Steven!” I laughed when he picked me up in bridal style and sat down, resting me in his lap. “God, babe, you look so hot today” Hyde said, sliding his hand down my side, settling on a not too sexual but not that friendly spot on my thigh. It was all planned, and fake, but the blush on my cheeks was as real as it gets. “Well, lover, I wanted to dress up for you” I said, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt. “Uh, guys, what’s going on?” Jackie was the first to speak. “Oh, well, yesterday Kelso, Eric and Donna, pulled a little trick to get me and Hyde together, and it worked” I smiled. “Yeah, guys, thank you so much for helping me get with the most beautiful girl in the world” Hyde agreed, looking at me through his rosy sunglasses. I took them from him. “Hey!” he said, but before he got them back I put them on. I slide them down my nose and look up to him. “That was hot, so i’ll let it slide this time” he said, taking the glasses off of my face. The script we wrote was absolutely perfect.
The days have passed, and soon they turned into weeks, and our little show kept going. I’ll admit, kissing Hyde and ditching the gang to hang out with him (we pretended to leave for a different reason, tho), the fake double dates… it was fun. The longer we pretended to date, the more our couple-y behavior stuck with us, like, one time we met up for a pretend-date and he kissed me when he saw me. I kissed him back, it just felt natural. We got a good laugh out of it, but it happened more than once. I knew I had to ask him to stop this, because my feelings kept growing but he had none, plus I know he kept fooling around cause i’ve seen girls flirting with him, and they always left together.
We were in his room now, pulling another trick. “Oh, lover, yes” i called, trying to sound as breathless as i can. “Oh, buttercup, you're soooo hot” Hyde called, and jumped on his bed, making it creek. I had to really hold my laugh as I joined him.
“Oh, babe, you’re so good” I called, adding some moans in between words. “Nice” he whispered. We heard the door knob being messed with. Hyde was quick to push me down on the bed. He took off his shirt, hinting me to do the same as we got under the sheets. He got on top of me and pushed his lips against mine just as Michael opened the door.
“Dude!’ Steven called and pulled the covers over us as he fell on his back next to me. “Dude, we can hear you, that’s so gross. You two are-” Michael started. “Well, you can just take your hangout somewhere else, Kelso” i said, throwing the first thing I could grab in his face. It was my shirt. “Yeah, we are kind of in the middle, man” Hyde said. The moment Kelso left, Hyde and I started laughing like crazy.
“That was..” i said as he got up. “Yeah, i’m so good” he said, mimicking my breathless voice. “K, give me my shirt back” i said, trying not to look at his bare chest, and not luckily, he was already putting on his shirt. He went up to the door. “Kelso took it” Hyde said, grining. “Well, shit” I sighed, but he had a solution. “Take this” he said, and tossed me a Led Zeppelin shirt. “Thank you, lover boy” I said, staying under the covers. He looked at me, waiting. “Well, turn around, creep” i said, laughing. “As your boyfriend-” he started, but gave up when his eyes met mine, “fine”. He turned around, allowing me to put on his shirt. “You can look now” I said, fixing the shirt. “How do i look?” I asked. “So hot, buttercup” he replied, smirking and wrapping his hands around my waist and kissing me, forgetting that we are not actually dating. “Hyde, we need to break up” the words slip out of my mouth.
“what ? why?” he asked, “i mean, this is the best prank i ever pulled, and the most enjoyable” he said, his lips stretch into his familiar smirk. “Because-” i tried, but couldn’t come up with a good reason other than the truth. “I mean, you have to admit it’s fun” he said, his hands still around my waist. “Well, yeah, but not for the reason you think” i say, and the confused look in his eyes hurts me. “I- Hyde, this is.. Look, I know you’re sleeping around and that’s gonna blow our cover ``I finally find an answer, “you don’t want your friends to think you’re a cheater”. He looked even more confused. “(y\n), i haven’t touched any other girl since we started... this” he replies, pointing at me and at him. “But i saw you-” I insisted. “I couldn’t, every single time” he admits. Taking the sunglasses resting on his cabinet and putting them on. “Why would you do that? You really expect me to think a horny teenager gave up making out, possibly more, with really hot girls because of what? He’s fake dating a random girl?” I laugh sadly. “No, god, (y\n), you are not some random girl” he says, resting his hands on my arms. “Why-” “because i love you!”.
I don’t know who was more surprised at his words - him or me. We stayed quiet. “Are you- are you gonna say anything?” he broke the silence. “How about i’ll do something instead?” i said, taking a step closer to him. As I moved closer, I placed my hands around his neck. “What are yo-” he tried to ask, but I pulled myself up and connected our lips. Even though we kissed before, this time it was different. His lips moved against mine in a mix of relife, passion and love. He tasted like mint, orange flavoured popsicle and weed. “I forgot to mention, I love you too” I said, breaking the kiss. “Whatever man” he said, re-connecting our lips.
#steven hyde#steven hyde x reader#steven hyde imagines#steven hyde imagine#that 70s show#that 70s show x reader#that 70s show imagines
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Another one gone
Giancarlo DiTrapano has died. It’s strange to think that a conversation can end mid-sentence. I had been messaging with Gian recently, first about his friend Paolo Valerio who was trying to publish a book on femminielli/third gender folx in Neapolitan culture, then about the byzantine jure sanguinis law that allows people to apply for Italian citizenship through an unbroken bloodline, which Gian did, which I am trying to do—he had recently given me the contact information of the lawyer his brother hired to take care of the process. “Maybe she will give you a discount if you tell her I referred you! I will email her now.” How fucking stupid that our last exchange was about bureaucracy & taxes. What a waste of precious life, of scarce time—but Gian was just such a generous guy, maternal even, in a gay daddy kind of way.
I met Gian when he was rolling through town to accept a PEN Award for Atticus Lish. Lily was crashing with me & they had gone on a molly bender all night while he was cruising Grindr or whatever app he was using to hook up with bears—“I swear I saw a guy I hooked up with in Providence when I left my own reading to go fuck him.” All night on the prowl, smoking cigarettes inside the hotel room while tweaking about the acceptance speech he hadn’t written yet. The next day I was conscripted to help him find drugs to stay awake for the award ceremony, to get back “up” after the inevitable MDMA crash. Did we meet in the parking lot near my house? The award ceremony didn’t go well. He was either never let in or kicked out—didn’t matter anyway, fuck those literary establishment people. He was all humor & irreverence & love for the writers he felt in his bones were the “real deal,” he fucking believed in Atticus’s Preparation for the Next Life. He believed in the good shit. When I met Atticus (at a PEN festival, of course), all I could think about was the way Gian gushed about him, that I was in the presence of an otherworldly genius.
It was summer 2016 when I really got to spend time with Gian. Dear Gian, this is Lily’s friend Jackie. We met that one time in Boston when you were trying to find drugs. We are coming to Italy. He was living in a bare & bombed-out apartment in the center of Rome, down the street from the Bernini statue of the ecstasy of Saint Teresa, with his delightful husband Giuseppe, a jolly aesthete who made costumes for operas. There was almost no furniture in the place. It had a shabby gothic feel, like it had been abandoned years ago by an esoteric sex cult. “I don’t have a bed. You can come, but where will the three of you sleep?” He bought a bed for us. I had passed through Rome multiple times, first just with my Russian mathematician boyfriend Mitya, then again with Mitya & Lily. The guest room where we stayed was the red of a womb with the fan & bed he bought for our stay. We roamed those streets all night, intoxicated, the streets completely empty save for the couple fucking outside the pantheon, or the couple breaking up by the Fontana dei Quattro Fiumi in the Piazza Navona—we walked to Parco del Gianicolo to watch the sun rise over Rome, waiting for the light to break & blaze & blast beams over thousands of years of sedimented history, the ruins of the Roman forum & the colosseum bathed in pink light—we stood silently on the terrace, contemplating the time congealed in all those monuments, gobsmacked by the epic vista. When day had fully broken we continued our trek, past the equestrian statue of Garibaldi with a single pigeon shitting on his head, & toward the Vatican, which, at that ungodly hour, was completely empty. We roamed the Vatican in an eerie calm & as we crossed Piazza San Pietro, we could see, in the distance, the crowds of tourists descending, like an ominous tidal wave inching toward St Peter’s square.
While staying with Gian in Rome I got the impression that Giuseppe had tempered his drug binges, though I vaguely remember accompanying him on a late-night mission to score blow. We stopped at a bar that an old mafiosa guy was shutting down & ended up hanging there all night while the man teased me & my beau & Gian told me wild stories of losing his virginity to the man when he was a teen on exchange in Italy. “Can you believe it? This guy initiated me”—spoken like it was the best thing in the universe. Always that sense of awe. Tender love for the freaks & the perverts of the world. & how lovingly he spoke of Giuseppe. When I asked Gian to recommend me a place to get pizza in Napoli (our next stop) he wrote down a spot while gushing about how divine it was to see Giuseppe eat multiple double mozzarella di bufala Neapolitan pies at this joint.
I guess I became an Italophile on that trip. It’s hard for me to imagine Italy without Gian in it. It’s hard to imagine that the next time I go he won’t be there. His house was full of plastic bottles of delicious olive oil that had been pressed from olives that grew on his family’s estate in southern Italy. His fridge was full of psychedelic research chemicals that he used to treat his debilitating cluster headaches, so painful they are often referred to as “suicide headaches.” We talked about it for a long time. How much pain he was in. How much discovering the treatment changed everything. “It saved my life.” The statement now sounds hauntingly premature.
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