#i put this in my calendar bc it's important | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-californicationist · 4 months

Note

i did send the same thing to another writer i enjoy bc i love different takes on things, but my little dumpster brain has had one thought in the last 24 hours - imagine confiding in your captain that you'd like to have a baby bc biological clock or whatever, and being in the field really puts a damper on your sex life, so that makes it difficult. but the 141 will do anything for one of their own, so if that means they're running trains and taking turns on you DAILY until it takes (and probably even after 👀), then so be it.

lol... you lit a fuckin' fire with this ask, my friend. hot!!

"The Window" (141/Reader)

You awoke to the soft tinkling noise of his belt and zipper, rattling at the edge of your bed. Your captain, John Price, was answering his call of duty, and within moments, you knew he would slip his fat, flaccid cock between your legs and allow your warmth to make him harden within you. He preferred it this way. First, he would rub you with it, heavy and smooth, smearing your wetness all over his skin. Then, with a singular talent, he would somehow stuff his soft, lolling head into your hole, feeding himself into you gently, letting your body take him in on its own as your pussy pulsed for him, and he would rub your clit absent-mindedly, comforting himself with your swollen lips, sighing raggedly as you covered him up. Once he was hard - and fuck, he was impossibly hard - he would fuck you through your blinding pleasure, his girth giving you burst after burst of hot, searing bliss.

He wasn’t your boyfriend - none of them were - but the members of your task force, the 141, had all agreed to be the father of your child. It had started when Captain Price first saw your appointment on the team calendar. You’d meant to post it privately, but you had failed to do so. He came to you right away, his face full of worry,

“Wha’s goin’ on, Spar? Goin’ to the main base hospital… Wha’s all this about?”

So, you’d told him, a little bashfully, that you were trying to get pregnant. You’d be turning 28 this fall, and you wanted to be a mom, sooner rather than later. Every few weeks, you were shipped off to some too-cold or too-hot locale, getting shot at and flash-banged. There wasn’t really time to find a date, much less convince them that you would make a good mother. The last time you tried to use Tinder, one guy had called you ‘Rambo’ and blocked you, so it wasn’t going well.

“I’ll go with you, little bird. Sounds important.”

“You don’t need to do that, Captain. I’m sure I can take out a loan for it…” You thought out loud, remembering the pamphlet and all of its cost breakdowns for IVF treatments.

“A loan? Last time I checked, love, it was free,” he chuckled.

“Free when you have someone who’d be willing to give it to you, sir,” you challenged him with your confidence, trying not to be ashamed, even of your ‘Rambo’ nickname.

“Sparrow,” he raised his voice and nearly shouted your callsign incredulously in the small mess hall where he’d found you, “There’s no bloody way you don’t have someone willing.”

“Wha’s goin’ on, Cap?” Gaz poked his head in behind the door.

“Nothing,” you tried to stop the literal landslide of embarrassment that was happening to you.

“She wants to have a baby,” Price told him, smiling a bit as your cheeks turned pink.

“A baby?” Gaz commented with no small amount of surprise.

“Who wants a baby?” Simon yelled out from the hallway before opening the door wider and scooting around Gaz to join into the conversation.

“A bairn!?” Soap barged in, slamming the door all the way open and forcing Gaz to tumble into the kitchen.

So, the whole team knew in a matter of moments, but Price kept his word. He drove you to the hospital for your appointment and asked more questions to the doctor than you did. Unfortunately, he heard all of the strictest rules and took them to heart. No cigarettes, no caffeine, plenty of rest and… plenty of exposure to male ejaculate.

There had been a meeting, of which you were not a part, between Price and the other men in your task force, and they had come to a conclusion: they would put a baby in you. It was their singular mission. A bit of back and forth had occurred when you found out their plan.

“Is there… we dinnae want to pressure you, lass, but,” Soap looked around at Ghost, Gaz, and Price before settling back on you, “Are there any of us you wouldnae like to be the father? We willnae take offense.”

“No! I’d be happy to have any of you… I mean… But, I don’t want you to feel like you need to do this if you don’t want to,” you could feel the heat of your shame rising in your cheeks, and you knew you were as red as a lobster. You heard a bit of laughter at your comment and feared the worst. But then, Gaz explained,

“I’m afraid all of us very much want to, Sparrow.”

He had even palmed his growing cock for emphasis.

But, it had to be fair, you decided. There should be a schedule; no favorites. And for the first month, there was. Soap was your Monday, Ghost was Tuesday, Gaz was Thursday, and Price was Friday. But then Price had a meeting and so Soap was Friday, and Price was Saturday. That meant Ghost was Monday. You were in training on Tuesday, so Gaz was Wednesday, but Soap couldn’t do Thursday or Friday because he had to go in for his annual review. So, he joined Gaz on Wednesday, stepping in right after him as if you were a pretty little mailbox and the boys had come to drop off their packages.

When the weekly schedule fell apart, you hung a big calendar in your quarters, and they’d pencil themselves in. That was fine until you had been shipped out to Aqtabi. You’d tried to keep it up while you were in the field, remembering what day was which, but the truth was that sometimes you had no idea if it was morning or night. Was that the sun or a flare?

And sometimes it didn’t matter. Something would happen on a mission, and Price would crawl beneath your scratchy woolen sheet, searching for the comfort of your arms, not saying a word, not even asking you if it was alright, but just taking you there in the cold night of the desert, filling you up and keeping his cock sheathed in you, safe and sound.

And sometimes you needed them, too. Waiting on exfil, huddled together in the pouring rain beneath a sad tarp, you’d crawled into Gaz’s lap, looping your arms around his neck and letting him hold you in a cradle, using his big chest as your pillow. You’d dozed, exhausted, and he’d rubbed himself against you through your clothes, coaxing you to pull down your pants so he could empty himself into your womb, quick and filthy. You remembered how it felt when his come had soaked through your panties as you sat next to him in the helicopter, letting him hold your hand.

You felt a little guilty that you weren’t exactly hoping for a child during those first few months. You were enjoying their affections, no matter how platonic they may have felt.

It didn’t stay that way, though. Soap was the worst offender. When he fucked you, he wanted to spend most of his time eating you out, sucking on your clit with his mouth like a hungry dog, soaking himself in your scent and your flavor before finally mounting you, crawling over your body like the hound that he was, dipping his cock into you and beating your core like a drum. He’d stare into your eyes when he could manage it, and he’d slipped up one day and told you he loved you. That you were his girl, his wee bonnie lass, and that he’d raise the bairn with you, even if it was Black like Gaz, tall like Ghost, or had Price’s big nose. It’d be his and yours. He’d be the daddy you wanted him to be, he promised.

Then, you’d had to deal with Gaz. He’d made dinner reservations at a restaurant near base while he had your legs held up to your chest, helping you wait the twenty suggested minutes for his “lads” to “soak in”. Told you he was just hungry, but he had also happened to buy you a nice dress, and he’d driven you in his sporty little Beamer, bright red and clean as a whistle. He’d fucked you after dinner, sneaking in a double feature, which was expressly against the rules. Told you he couldn’t help himself, and he said he’d been thinking about you all weekend, cock in hand.

Ghost was like his namesake, haunting you all over the place. He found you in the locker room, and decided to fuck you standing up, sweaty from your sparring match. He’d washed you off in the shower, and he’d taken you in there, too, after coaxing you to make him hard again by sucking him off. Ghost would slink by you in the reference room, stalking you through the bookshelves, and dragging you to the storage closet to fuck you on all fours on the floor, maps and looseleaf pamphlets about Russian spy camps under your rosy red knees. He got vocal that night, cramped with his huge body in that tiny closet, telling you what a good girl you were for him, how you fit his fuckin’ cock so perfect, how he’d never want anyone else, how it felt so good to fill your body up with his load.

Then, there was your captain. At first, you weren’t sure he was truly a willing participant. He seemed to avoid you unless he was on the schedule. He didn’t cut in line, and if you were on the couch or in the kitchen with one of the boys, he’d leave you be, smiling at you a bit before grabbing his tea and escaping back to his office. But, then you realized the truth: John Price wanted to put a baby inside of you more than anyone else, and he would go to the ends of the earth to make sure it happened.

“Hey, little bird,” John’s finger pet the side of your cheek as you woke, feeling him pull down your pink silk panties so he could start to warm you up, “I’m your Sunday.”

“Mm,” you rubbed the sleep out of your eye and opened up your legs for him, giving him full access to your body on instinct at this point, “John, we gave up on the schedule. You can come whenever you want. Or, you can stop.”

“Can’t stop,” he kissed your mouth as he leaned over you, and you tasted peppermint and tobacco mixing together with something heady and lustful, “We’re in the window.”

Ah. The Window. All of the boys talked about The Window and when it was coming up next. They’d all downloaded trackers on their phones, watching you like birds of prey for when you ordered a box of tampons, checking with you to see when you were off the rag. And then, you’d be “in the window” of ovulation. Their best chance at succeeding at this mission.

They would fuck you at any time of the month, and Soap and Price would even fuck you through your period, having read in some magazine that there was a small chance of success. But, being in The Window was like covering yourself in honey in the middle of a cave in spring and waking up all the bears inside it. Fertile ground, ripe for the taking.

“Mm, fuck,” you keened. John had two fingers in you now, pressing on your soft spots and stretching your hole. You wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss, which he moaned into.

“Feel good, Spar? You want to make me hard, pretty bird?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, looking up at him with desperate eyes, “Yeah, I do. Please, John…”

He slipped himself in, half-hard already, and you felt the body of it slide into your core. It was soft, and you liked to squeeze it with your muscles, feeling him writhe inside of you when you did, reveling in his pleasure. He sat back on his heels to let you play with him fully, watching you grind your hips on him as he massaged your clit to its full, swollen height. He was in no rush, and he spoke to you casually.

“Has Kyle been in this weekend?”

“No, it was Soap,” you tried to remember, “And then Ghost, and then Soap again.”

Price chuckled warmly,

“That boy wants a baby so badly.”

You smiled with him, agreeing,

“He does. He interrupted Gaz on Thursday and asked him when he’d be done!”

Price laughed with you then, his eyes gleaming and crinkling at the edges,

“Oh, Christ. He’d be a good one. They’d all be good.”

You watched his mood shift. There was something solemn about it, and you wanted to chase it away. You rubbed your hand along his furry belly, locking your ankles around his hips and shamelessly rocking your hips to fit more of him into you. You confessed,

“You’d be good.”

His eyes found yours again and he stilled, wondering out loud,

“D’you think so, Sparrow?”

“I know so.”

“Can I tell you a secret, little bird?” He whispered, lowering himself into position and stuffing his hard length even deeper inside of you, making you worry just a bit if he could hurt you with that thing.

You nodded, kissing his huge Adam’s apple in his throat and nuzzling through his beard. He told you the whole truth as he pounded himself into you without mercy,

“Sometimes, I wish he would be mine. I wish…” He almost stopped, but he kept going, like a raft in the stream, too caught in the current to go back to the shore, “I wish you could be mine, and then I could rub lotion on your belly when you got big. And I could cook for you when you got tired, and I could read to you, even when he was still inside of you, and I know he could hear my voice. I wish, sometimes, that when it happens, that I’d be the first to know. That you’d tell me first, because you knew it was mine, because you’d want him to be mine.”

You were stunned, and you were coming, and the two were very separate events. As your pussy pulsed and tried to milk him of his come, making you dizzy and almost sick with pleasure, you were shocked by his admission. You grabbed his face and made him look you in your eyes,

“John…” You panted, coming down from your first high of many with Price, “I had no idea you felt that way.”

“I didn’t either,” he smiled, but the corners didn’t reach his eyes.

When he fucked you this morning, you had no idea how good it could feel, but he showed you. He rutted into you, desperately, like some sort of beast, unable to stop himself. It was as if he would fuck himself bloody in you if he had to, and you wanted to take him as best you could. You felt him finally start to come, and he plugged you up with his thickness, shoving himself as deep as he would go, sealing you off and keeping you warm and elevated.

He kept his cock in you, gasping for breath and petting the hair out of your face. He kissed you, cheeks and chin and neck, all the way down to your breasts where he suckled from your nipples, almost dreamlike in the way he was touching you, fully covered in you the entire time.

“Sleep, birdie,” he nuzzled your neck and continued to lave his tongue over your breasts, “I’ll wake you when I’m hard again.”

Part 2

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redwoodforestwiki · 1 year

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if anyone cancels plans on me one (1) more time in my entire life 🔪

#listen #this is one of the main reasons i think im so much more put together than everyone i know #i never cancel plans #bc its like ok we have plans. great. ill put it on the calendar.#but other people i guess view plans as...not important? like haha whatever #i know this is petty i know other people have stuff to do but #but i #but i am also stuff to do am i not #like me and a friend had plans tonight. saturday night. and she cancels less than 3 hours in advance?#like....i could have done something else.#im not talking about actual emergencies but no on ever has an actual emergency #this friend just wanted to finish christmas shopping like???? how is that my problem ok

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rizsu · 2 months

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fuck my life; hold me tight. model!gojo satoru ⭒ fem-reader.

satoru came back after his two-week long trip for his modeling gigs. he's the same, but who's this ‘saori’ lady with a thorny stick up her ass? wc : 6.2k · usage of y/n.

+ love ‘su: thou shall not lie, thou shall not cheat! 😝 i left this without the small font bc it's lowkey a lot tbh

one › who's this?

undoubtedly, today’s the most important. you’ve been impatiently crossing off the days on the calendar until satoru returns. familiar with your excitement, he called you prior to hold you back from coming to the airport. it was strange, but nevertheless you thought less of it.

with your day now free, you spent it preparing for satoru. his favorite dishes were made, charcuterie board prepared, and the series you both watched together can be resumed. every time the thought of seeing satoru with your eyes again comes about, you get goosebumps. it’s almost sickening how he’s plagued your mind, becoming the balance-shifting object for your moods.

your eyes shift to the clock, realizing that there’s only an hour until he walks through the door. 4:00 p.m it reads, you’ve yet to shower — let alone choose an outfit. some may say your actions are too much, but nothing is ever “too much” when it comes to satoru. have you lost your marbles? not all, but perhaps you’ve become slightly boy crazy (with justifying reasons!)

4:58 p.m: you’re anxiously switching between apps on your phone, trying your best to not stare at the clock on the top of the screen. it’s insanely tempting, but you won’t give in. there’s no better distraction than window shopping on websites for items you’ll never set free with your credit card.

the door slams open, and soon a cheerful voice follows. they both jerk you out of your trance, leaving you with the pair of a palpitating heart and widened eyes.

“BABY!” a disheveled satoru shouts, recklessly dropping his luggage at the front of the door.

he walk-runs past the furniture, dodging the table corners until he’s nearing the sofa you’re situated on.

“sa-SATORU?!” you’re shocked even though you expected his arrival.

you unconsciously stood up, abandoning your phone as you moved to him. satoru mirrors you, being the first of the two to engulf you into a heartfelt hug. he squeezes you hard, burying his head into the junction between your neck and shoulder. his hand cups the back of your head, pressing softly into your hair.

“i missed you,” he whispers, letting out a shaky breath. “it took an entire week to sleep properly without you.”

“you’re addicted,” you joked, lifting a hand to ruffle his already-ruffled hair.

“not funny.”

“okay, okay, sorry. i missed you too.” you pull away from satoru, smiling at his pouting expression.

your hands move to his shoulders, gripping his puffed jacket to pull them down. he helps you by moving his arms out of it. once it’s off, he rolls his shoulders back, rolling his neck around to stretch his muscles. he’s been cooped up in a sitting position for twelve hours; the last thing he needs are stiff muscles and a sore body.

content with the new, relaxed feeling, satoru looks around. everything’s the same, as expected. nothing changed other than the charcuterie board on the coffee table and the dishes on the dining table. immediately, he recognizes the food. how could he not? it’s the food he labeled as his favorite even when it wasn’t.

in multiple attempts to please your mother on the first meeting, he went along with her words.

the soap opera she’s caught up in? oh, he’s been watching it too!

short videos she found on social media that are painfully unfunny? actually, it’s hilarious!

the lunch she cooked? it’s now something he’s been craving for weeks.

the salad? to you, he hates greens since they’re ‘flavorless’. to your mother? golly! put more on his plate!

he spent the week at your parents’ gaslighting himself until it became the truth. he became a new man after the meeting. lemon water was his new go-to (influenced by your mother) and card games are his forte (influenced by your father).

ever since then the main dish your mother cooked up became his true favorite. maybe it’s because of the warmth that came with it, or maybe it’s because he’s still gaslighting himself. nonetheless, he’ll always eat it.

“did you make all this yourself?” he questions, stealing a bite before you could’ve plated his food.

“hands off,” you slapped his hand, “i didn’t, though. i asked my mother.”

“ah, my mother-in-law. i miss your parents, too. we should visit,” he suggests, rubbing his hand that you heartlessly slapped.

“mhm, soon,” you agreed, sliding his plate to him. “let’s sit and eat.”

──

the plates are cleared, the charcuterie board’s three-quarters finished, and you’re on the final episode of season one of the show. satoru’s head is on your lap, busying his hands by poking at your thigh’s skin. your hand’s following suit, busying itself by playing with his hair strands.

the show was long forgotten, being demoted to background noise the moment you asked satoru to tell you all about the trip. you’ve heard the details beforehand during your calls, but it’s different to hear it face-to-face.

you intently listened as he talked, giving him mhms and yeahs to let him know you’re listening.

“oh, and i met a new co-worker? friend? i dunno but we’re acquainted now,” he speaks, looking up to you.

“really? i’m glad. is he a model too?”

“yeah, but it’s a she.”

you paused for a second. a she? that’s new. you’re not the type to anger yourself over your boyfriend befriending the opposite gender, but you’d still like to see her.

“i’d like to meet her,” you said, looking down at him with a soft smile.

“are you free in two days? i have a meeting that day. she’ll probably be there — no chances though, i never asked about her schedule...” his voice trails off as he ponders, trying to remember if she mentioned anything about being in a meeting after the trip.

“of course i’m free. i took a sick leave on purpose for this week.”

satoru laughs at the new information. you took a sick leave just for him? at your position of head assistant? he’ll never find someone who loves him like you do.

— two days after : the meeting.

you’re walking hand-in-hand with satoru through the hallway. you’re a little — no, incredibly nervous. it’s your first time officially meeting satoru’s business buddies. they know of you, you know of them, but that’s about it.

you dressed yourself up professionally, trying to match the classy rich vibes. it’s times like these you appreciate satoru’s over-the-top, multiple-zeros gifts. you’ll have to remember to give him special thanks for this.

“okay, we’re here,” he says, knocking you out of the nervousness.

“if you start feeling uncomfortable, squeeze my hand, okay? i’ll take you out of there,” reassuring you, he gifts you a peck on your forehead, topping it off with his genuine smile that’s only for you.

his hand turns the door knob, walking in with his model smile as he greets the members. you’re tailing behind him, trying to hide. the sudden energy shift didn’t match yours, so your instinct to hide behind satoru kicked in. unluckily for you, your boyfriend was set to formally introduce you. he uses a hand to hold your wrist, pulling you to the side of him.

“you brought a plus one with you i see,” a guy notes the obvious, smiling at your shyness. he already has an idea of who you are.

his words catch the attention of others. within seconds every pair of eyes landed on you. unfamiliar with the amount of attention, you squeezed satoru’s hand, placing a fake smile to mask your uncomfort.

“nuh uh, get your own. that’s too much staring,” satoru complains, squeezing back your hand. he steps in front of you, leading you both to two reserved seats at the table.

“i’m assuming that lady must be the one you talked everyone’s ears off about,” a lady suggests this time, stretching out her arm to you as she’s on the opposite side, but directly in front of you.

you stretched your arm out to her, accepting her handshake.

“i’m (y/n), pleasure to meet you.”

“it’s a pleasure to meet you too. call me mia,” she introduces herself, ignoring the heated glare of a man who doesn’t like sharing.

similarly, you’re ignoring the gut feeling of someone glaring through your soul. the situation feels similar to your teacher staring at you during an exam when you secretly have cheating materials with you.

the meeting continues on. you were introduced to everyone and met with questions. some complained about satoru to you, and others asked how you’re able to tolerate him. of course, satoru took offense. he flipped them off with the finger that has your matching rings on.

an hour later, you’re in the building’s cafeteria with satoru. it was okay; the atmosphere was friendly — minus that one person who glared at you. you don’t know who they are, nor what they look like as you avoided that corner. your social battery is drained, and you’re hungry for a light snack.

“baby, can you order for us? i gotta let it go. real bad,” satoru says, balling his fingers into a fist to hold back the feeling.

“uh, sure, but what do you mean let it go?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“piss, baby. piss. love you, bye!”

with that, satoru speeds off, almost colliding with another worker in the process.

gathering your order, you looked around for an unoccupied table to sit at. unfortunately, they’re all unoccupied. it’s a little awkward, but you’re left with no other option than to ask someone if satoru has his own office.

“ah, mia!” you called out, spotting her outside the smoking room.

“(y/n)! need anything before i smoke?” she smiles, pointing at the door.

“um, do you know if satoru has his own office?” contrary to your nervousness, your voice came out perfectly.

“take the elevator and press number ten. turn left and stop until you’re at the third room; that’s his office.”

“thanks much, mia!” you gave her a bright smile, turning around to find your new destination.

“no problem, (y/n),” she waves you off, entering the smoking room.

you followed mia’s directions, taking the elevator to floor ten and entering the third room on the left. it’s no doubt that the office is satoru’s. the pineapple-framed mirror confirmed it all. that mirror is the same mirror satoru try to convince you that it’s “in style”.

settling down in his office, you can finally be at rest. placing the food his desk, you plopped yourself down on his chair.

‘it’s comfortable, but surely it doesn’t take that long to pee,’ you think, suspecting that satoru may have gotten caught up in a conversation.

the door clicks, opening to reveal someone. your mind thought of satoru, but it was indeed not. it wasn’t even the right gender. a beautiful girl entered; her aura was a cool, mysterious, “i’m better than you” feel. confusion poured down on you. who is she and why is she here?

you don’t strike a conversation. instead, you simply watch her walk into the office until she’s in front of the desk.

“do you need some—”

“you must be gojo satoru’s bitch.”

“excuse me?” not only were you cut off, you were called a bitch. clearly, she’s not on friendly terms, and who does she think she is?

she looks down at you, placing a taunting smile on her lips. you don’t care since you’re the one on his chair, but who is she calling a bitch?!

“compared to satoru, you’re… low, to put it kindly!”

“okay, but who asked you that?” you questioned her, rolling your eyes.

if you were in a fantasy novel, she’d be the main villainess who’s engaged to the male lead for political reasons. you’re the female lead who’ll become victim to the villainess’ antics as the male lead, satoru, fell for you.

flustered at your sentence, she scoffs. compared to the shy persona you displayed at the meeting, you’re all bitchy now.

“i don’t need someone to ask me something in order to speak my mind.”

“oh my god. i didn’t ask you that, nor do i want your input.” you rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your drink.

“i don’t like you. you’re not good enough for satoru,” she voices her (unwanted) opinions, scanning you up and down.

“it’s gojo to you, missy. who’s the girlfriend here?” you noted her mistakes while making your position obvious.

she rolls her eyes, offended at being called ‘missy.’

“and it’s saori, not missy. get it right.”

“why must you disturb my tranquility with your nonsense ? please exit, missy.”

“i said it’s—”

“saori? why are you here?” satoru enters, removing his coat in the process.

“that’s what i asked her,” you said, looking at her up and down with a raised eyebrow.

“i wanted to meet your girl-friend, satoru!” suddenly her tone changed. the space she put between the word girlfriend didn’t go unnoticed by you either.

this is ridiculous.

he slowly nods, thinking that the deliberate pause between girlfriend might’ve been his imagination.

“oh, i was gonna introduce you guys. you beat me to it,” he pouts, walking over next to you to give you another kiss.

you smiled at satoru but smirked at saori.

irritated, she huffs, “i’ve seen enough, call me when you’re free from that, satoru.”

both of you watch her walk out in silence. satoru’s now confused.

“what’s that about?” he asks, scratching his head.

“is she the friend you talked about?” you answered his question with your question.

“yeah, but i don’t know why she has such an attitude all of a sudden. did her boyfriend argue with her?”

“pfft— she has a boyfriend?” you scoffed, learning that she’s not only the bitch, but potentially unloyal. why else would she bother you, who’s satoru’s girlfriend, if it wasn’t because she likes him?

he nods, shrugging off the curiosity to know what’s with her shift in behavior.

“whatever, let’s eat, baby.”

──

it’s way past your bedtime, and you’ve just arrived home. the day was eventful, minus the missy encounter, but nonetheless you had fun.

although you’re glad to be acquainted with satoru’s peers, you couldn’t shake off the suspicion that sao-whatever-her-name-is has been making advances to satoru while your presence was absent.

you can tell that satoru holds no affection to her, but you’re still worried. satoru’s loyal, yes, but he’s an oblivious idiot. if he nor you isn’t the one flirting, he wouldn’t notice anything. that’s why her behavior change whenever he’s around is seen as “friendly” and not “i want you so bad” to him.

you sighed, shaking your head to rid it of her. what’s important is that satoru isn’t interested in her. you can sleep with that comforting image in mind.

now that satoru’s home, you’ve been attached to each other like the north and south pole of two magnets. inseparable. it’s been like this for a week, but something changed.

two › is it just you or…?

the sao-still-don’t-remember-her-name missy has been ringing satoru’s phone down whether it’s by messages, voice messages, or calls. at this point, it’s annoying. satoru himself was one call away from blocking her, but he couldn’t.

aside from satoru himself, she’s the other key member in the new project. if he suddenly draws a line between them it can become what kills the project. thankfully, the conversations have been limited to work-related topics… or so you believe.

you’re on the sofa, indulging in a new show as you peeled an apple. the show’s plot became so intense that your eyes are glued to the television instead of the apple.

satoru jugs down the stairs, grabbing his car keys and running over behind you. he bends over to place a kiss on your cheek, notifying you that he’ll be meeting up with saori. not paying any mind to him, you bid him goodbye without thinking.

it’s only after he exits the door you register what he said. ‘meeting up with saori? that bitch? ew,’ you shuddered at the thought of her. she’s not scary, definitely not ugly, but sure as hell is a bitch. at least you remember her name now.

──

after that day, satoru’s free time has been occupied with her. you’re now sure it’s not “just work” that’s been going on. you trust satoru, but you don’t trust her.

there’s no reason for someone to meet up with their co-worker every day for work. work is never that interesting. it’s not like they’re in charge of the project either; the project is within the authority of mia and some other guy.

everything about the situation at hand has been bothering you. was she attached to satoru like this during the trip? were they always within arms length of each other? not even you were that clingy to satoru.

the idea to raise alarm bells to satoru crossed you, but the potential argument that may follow is what has you hesitating. you don’t want to suspect satoru’s friend, but her behavior needs to be discussed.

you waited until satoru’s home, showered, and comfortable in bed to bring forth the question. your palms are sweating, but it needs to be done.

“say satoru, can i ask you something?” you hesitated, looking at him.

“yeah, why not?” he replies, eyes stuck on his phone.

“what do you think of that girl?”

“who’s that— do you mean saori?” he laughs, “she’s cool, if i were to be honest. she’s fun to hang around with.”

“has it ever crossed your mind that she likes you?” you cold sweat, worried that he’ll take offense.

“who wouldn’t like me? i’m sexy,” he jokes, winking at you.

you playfully slap his chest. “i’m being serious here!”

“i don’t think she does— or at least i hope she doesn’t. i don’t want to be her boyfriend’s archenemy,” satoru truthfully responds, feeling his pores raise at the thought of a taken man’s enemy.

if you were to like another man satoru would honestly write a will and erase himself from history. so, it’s only natural that he hopes saori doesn’t become her boyfriend’s pain.

you hum, satisfied with his answer. it’s clear as day now. satoru doesn’t view her in any romantic way, but you know she has a thing or two for him.

not wanting to push your luck, you end it there. pulling satoru’s phone away to throw your body on his.

three › wicked witch of the west.

it’s almost as if the conversation with satoru triggered a chain reaction. for whatever the reason may be, you’ve now seen this woman more than your own parents. she invites herself over almost every day.

every time you open the door it’s her snobby face. it sickens you. you ordered a package recently and whenever someone knocks on the door, you think it’s the delivery guy, but nope! it’s the wicked witch of the west!

today it happened again. someone knocked, you opened, missy appears, satoru unwillingly follows her for the sake of the project, you’re left with murderous intent.

it’s time you talk about this with someone. that’s right, you’ve kept your worries inside you but this is just too much! there’s no reason for a taken lady to follow another man like she’s his shadow — far less for a taken man!

frustrated, you phoned your friend.

“hey, utahime.”

“(y/n), my baby! how are you?”

“i’m okay-ish, how about you?”

“i’m good, but what’s up?”

“well… can i come over? i’ll tell you there. i just need to get out.”

“of course you can! you were always here before that thing of a man took you over.”

“all right, i’ll be there in ten!”

──

utahime’s home always brought you comfort; it’s where you go when you needed to escape. due to her dislike for people outside her circle, not everyone knows of her address— especially not satoru.

she engulfed you in a hug the moment she opened the door. you can’t hide anything from utahime, she knew you were out of it from your face.

“i’ll put ramen on the stove, go make yourself comfortable,” she ordered, closing the door behind you.

you followed her words, throwing yourself face first on her sofa. you loudly groaned, annoyed at the idea of saori getting all touchy-touchy with your satoru.

“let’s talk about it,” utahime speaks, pausing the television before she sits on the floor next to you.

you lift your head to look at her, open your mouth, and close it back. ‘let’s not question it,’ you think, knowing that utahime prefers the floor at home ever since you knew her.

“so… there’s this girl named saori—”

“i knew i should’ve ran over satoru yesterday.”

“and then— wait— HUH???” you sputtered, shocked at utahime’s words.

“i saw him crossing the street by himself yesterday. it took a lot of convincing to not floor the gas pedal,” she sighed, knowing she missed the jackpot. “anyway, continue.”

your mouth hangs open for a few more seconds before you regain yourself.

“right… anyway. she’s satoru’s new co-worker and i don’t like her. on our first meeting she called me ‘satoru’s bitch’ and after that she’s been occupying his free time every-fucking-day. she has a BOYFRIEND! like damn bitch! move away from my boyfriend,” you dumped the information on utahime, shoving your head back into the cushion.

“my baby, just said the word,” utahime faces you, moving her hand to pat your back.

“for what?” your voice comes out muffled.

“to put a bounty on their heads.”

a groan leaves you. there’s no hope.

“i’m kidding, i’m kidding. we can devise a plan, however.”

your head perks up. your attention has been successfully gained. utahime stands up, a bright smile adorns her face. you have a major feeling that something mischievous is going to play out real, real soon. utahime never smiles so brightly unless she’s plotting something despicable.

you squint your eyes at her, watching her back as she walks to the kitchen.

“‘hime…”

“don’t worry; just trust me.”

6:43 p.m: you’re now being a sack of potatoes on utahime’s bed. the day flew by and you haven’t heard from satoru ever since he left. no way it won’t leave a sour taste in your mouth, but you couldn’t find the energy to care at this moment.

you're preoccupied on utahime’s laptop, carefully choosing the perfect inner-walls design for the house game you stumbled upon. interior design might just be your new job.

deep into the game, your phone rings. you groan in annoyance, picking your phone up to see who decided it’ll be a good time to bother you.

satoru is calling you.

clicking your tongue, you slid on the green button.

“satoru, what’s up?”

“babe, are you home?”

“i’m not, why?”

“whyyyyy? i brought food for you.”

“i’ll have it when i’m home. sorry i’m not there right now, satoru.”

“oh, i almost forgot. saori’s here too.”

“ew— i mean, okay. don’t let her near my stuff nor our room.”

“yeah, bye baby. i love you.”

“i love you too.”

“that’s so disgusting. get out of my house,” utahime voices her feelings, screwing her face up at the sight of you being lovey-dovey with satoru.

you laughed at her, returning your attention to the game. utahime walks to her closet, choosing an outfit for the night. she’s fresh out of the shower, wet hair wrapped up in a towel. you can hear her grumbling something along the lines of “i hate couples” as she threw clothes on the floor to look for “that one black pajama shorts.”

once successful, utahime threw herself onto the bed. she took over your phone, going into your messages for her chat to send herself photos you’ve long forgotten to send. never will she ever ask you for photos after the hangout.

“by the way,” she says, “what did that man call for?”

you sigh, looking at her with a blank expression, “saori’s gonna be there.”

“does she even have her own life? that saowhore or whatever you said her name is.” utahime rolls her eyes, her mood immediately soured.

shrugging, you click your tongue, “it is what it is. this game is more important.”

──

it took not one, not two, not three, but five attempts to convince utahime to let you go home. she was completely against the idea of letting you drive home alone when it’s 10 p.m.

you would’ve given in if it wasn’t for the dreadful feeling that you need to be home. you basically sped through the roads, and most definitely ran a red light accidentally. nevertheless, you arrived safely.

suddenly, your heartbeat races. a heat creeps up the back of your head; you can feel a headache in the making. something’s telling you that you’ll need to confront a certain someone.

opening the door as quietly as you can, you stepped in, removing your shoes and tiptoeing inside.

maybe you should’ve let utahime go through with her plans.

the sight before you disgusts you as much as satoru disgusts utahime. why, just why, is this woman still here? is she crazy? why are her legs on satoru, and why is he allowing it?

“goodness, if i didn’t know better i’d ask you if you’re homeless,” you sarcastically spoke, taking the remote to turn the television off.

“get,” you took hold of one of her legs, shoving it off satoru. “off my fucking boyfriend.”

satoru watches, shocked at the scene. his eyes are unfocused; it’s evident that he zoned out a long time ago.

saori scoffs, moving her leg back on satoru’s lap. “why should i?”

you tilt your head, smiling angelically. the smile lasted milliseconds before it dropped. you’ve had quite enough and she’ll be subjected to your anger.

grabbing her arm, you roughly dragged her off the sofa. saori wasn’t one to accept such treatment. she retaliated, shuffling her arm around until she’s off your grip.

“are you fucking crazy?!” saori yelled, eyes wide with heavy breaths.

“not quite!” you pointed towards the door. “get out before i drag you myself.”

satoru’s silent. afraid of angering you, he stays put and watches from a distance.

“fuck off,” saori speaks, “satoru, text me when you’re off your dog collar.”

your anger reached its peak. grabbing the closest thing, which happened to be a mug, you threw it in her direction, aiming to miss her but hit close enough to her.

“ARE YOU INSANE!?” saori’s stumbles to the side, clenching her jaw, looking down at the broken pieces of the ceramic mug.

the scene alarms satoru, he decides to do something. standing up, he reaches for your wrist, pulling you to him.

“i think it’s time you leave, saori. i didn’t even know you were still here,” satoru’s voice is calm, but filled with authority. his words hold truth to them, he zoned out a while ago, unaware that saori’s still around.

clicking her tongue, her eyes twitch. she couldn’t muster up anything to say. being left with no choice but to listen to satoru, she saw herself out.

the quietness settles in. you were right about the headache, it’s definitely coming in.

“baby—”

“save it,” you stopped him, “but who the fuck is she to think i have you on a dog collar? i’ll put her on a collar.”

guilt settles in satoru, he shouldn’t have brought her in.

“i don’t why she said that. you don’t have me ‘on a dog collar’ i swear,” he rambles, placing a hand on his chest.

your gaze settled on satoru. you’re tired, a headache is there, and you probably went overboard. you’re not in the mood to hear him.

“satoru, i trust you. but i don’t trust her.”

“i’ll make her apologize.”

“ew, no.” you shivered at the thought of her apologizing. “i don’t want you near her anymore. her intentions are too fucking obvious.”

satoru physically hesitates. swallowing a gulp, his words come out quietly, “i can’t ignore her just like that..”

just as you were about to walk away, your head whipped to satoru as if you were slapped in that direction.

“what?”

“the project’s still ongoing, baby. i can’t ignore her just because you want me too.”

“fucking hell. kiss my ass, satoru. kiss her ass too while you’re at it,” you spat, flipping him off as you walked away.

if he can’t ignore her “just because you said so” then he can be ignored by you. maybe he did said something to make her think he’s on a dog collar.

you hear satoru calling for you, but you gave him no attention. you’ll deal with it tomorrow.

four › satoru’s new piercing idea: a bullet through his head.

satoru fucked up. he knows he fucked up. he should’ve said that after you calmed down. it couldn’t have gotten worse than this. the night flew by with you facing your back to him, the morning came with you acting as if he’s invisible.

sure, he fucked up, but at least reply to his good morning?!

he doesn’t know what to do. this is the first time you were angered to this point. usually, he’d be the one to better your mood, but he’s apart of the reason you’re as mad as you are.

your behavior went on for three days. far longer than satoru had anticipated. he’s given you your space, but now he can’t focus on his job.

his co-workers knew something was off with satoru. he’s not his usual self. they knew something happened the moment he declined a free meal. secretly, they gathered around, holding a confidential meeting to discuss satoru’s behavior.

everyone gave their opinions until an agreement was made: a couple’s argument had occurred.

evidence to support? satoru refrained from mentioning you, gave awkward answers when someone asked about you, and sulked when he looked at his lockscreen which was you.

saori, however, advanced her advancements to satoru. today was another day of her throwing her cleavage at him.

the photoshoot theme included two persons, but they weren’t meant to touch. they needed to act like enemies, but saori’s touching satoru as if he’s an all-you-can-touch event.

her hands slid down his chest, stopping at his abs. satoru doesn’t react— his eyes are empty, it’s clear that he wants the photoshoot to be over.

mia observed the two ever since the business trip, and she came to the conclusion that saori’s craving a place she was never meant to have.

“well aren’t you a little handsy, miss saori,” mia calls out, stopping the cameraman. “had i not known your boyfriend, i would've thought you were single.”

“who asked?” saori gives an attitude, but she moves her hand from satoru. the mention of her boyfriend bothered her.

the staff goes silent. a tension forms in the atmosphere. the calm before the storm, as they call it.

mia walks towards the two, placing a hand on saori’s shoulder when she nears her.

squeezing her shoulder, she leans down to saori’s level, “who’s the boss here? you’re chatty for a little girl who wants others’ belongings.” mia taunts, her voice cold.

saori gulps, slapping mia’s hand off her.

the action doesn’t bother mia in the slightest. instead, she leans to saori’s ears, whispering the unfortunate truth to her, “satoru will never want you, saori. remember that.”

straightening her posture, mia turns around to walk back to her designated position.

“back to work, everyone!”

with her order, everyone returns back to their previous doings. the tension is still heavy, and satoru’s still holds his empty gaze.

──

a thirty-minute break was called. at this moment, to each their own. the staff scrambled around, but satoru stayed put.

“saori,” his voice drags, “let’s talk alone.”

her expression brightens, feeling the butterflies tingle in her stomach. but little does she know, satoru’s about to act out of the character she knows him to be.

“s-sure! let’s do it in your dressing room,” she suggests, pulling satoru there.

once they’re in, she locks the door behind them. satoru sighs at the sight, but he doesn’t say anything about it. there’s something else he came here for.

“saori, do you like me? romantically?” he asks, leaning on the wall with crossed arms.

“i do,” she boldly confirms.

“then stop. you’re getting in between my relationship with (y/n),” he glares at saori, deciding it’s time to draw the line.

“ha, you’re still on that leash i see,” she scoffs, walking towards satoru until they’re face-to-face. “i’m better, satoru. you should choose me.”

satoru unfolds his arms, using one to push her away.

“saori, i’ve thought of you as nothing but a co-worker, a friend. you cannot be (y/n). so please, stop.”

clenching her jaw, saori tugs at satoru’s shirt’s collar, “i don’t give a flying fuck! you should be mine.”

satoru feels disgusted, a chain of chills cover his body. has saori always been like this?

“you have a boyfriend, for fuck’s sake!” he slaps her hand away, moving towards the door.

before he unlocks the door, he stops, turning around to clarify something before he forgets to, “oh, and if anything, the truth is that i’m the one who placed a dog collar on myself. so watch your mouth.”

with that, he leaves her alone, walking to where mia’s positioned.

“mia,” he calls for her.

mia turns to him, eyes wide for a second before she returns to her usual expression.

“need something, lovesick boy?” she teases, raising her eyebrows at him.

“if saori isn’t withdrawn from this project, then i’ll withdraw myself,” he threatens, running a hand through his hair exposing his forehead.

‘i’m not sure if this is unexpected or expected,’ mia thinks, not surprised at satoru’s request. it was only a matter of time.

“i’ll withdraw her. she pissed me off, too,” giving satoru her answer she pauses, and then continues, “but you really need to learn how to tell apart platonic actions from romantic.”

satoru cringes at her words, “ugh, leave me alone. i’m leaving.”

“you’ll be penalized for leaving during working hours!”

“blah blah blah.”

──

satoru’s destination was obvious. it’s your shared home. he would make his business to break the ice first.

messily unlocking the door, he kicks his shoes off, immediately looking for you. you’re not on the sofa, not in the bathroom, not in the kitchen, where the fuck are you?!

checking off your usual spots, he’s left with one: the bedroom.

quietly opening the door, he peeks in, observing the room for you. once he found you, he tiptoed in.

your back was turned to the door. whether you were sleeping or not was the least of his problems. he’ll wake you up if he has to.

“baby,” he carefully speaks, sitting on the edge of the bed with a hand on your blanketed figure.

you don’t answer him, but you do turn around to face him.

“i talked to saori. we won’t be in contact any time soon.”

“oh wow,” you said.

he clears his throat at your sarcasm, “ahem— anyway, i told her off, and asked for her to be removed from the project.”

“what made this sudden change? i thought you were glued to her.”

“she was glued to me!” he clarifies.

“tomato, tomahto. potato, potahto.”

ignoring your snarky remarks, he continues, “i told her about the ‘dog collar’ comment. i even told her to watch her mouth. i’ll cut contact with her on my phone, too.”

“so she’s gone? completely?” you questioned, removing a hand from under the blanket.

“yeah, i received a divine revelation and came to my senses. really, i thought she saw me as platonic as i saw her. i swear!” he confirms his innocence, staring at you with sadden eyes.

“you’re still a bitch,” you said, “i almost allowed utahime to go through with her bounty plan.”

sitting up, you took one of satoru’s fingers in your hand, “i’m glad you did that, but i’m still mad. you made me want to tell you to go fuck her and done with it.”

satoru’s mouth hangs open at the newly gained information.

“i didn’t, as you can see. i still love you so such words would never be spoken.”

“‘still’ she said.”

“don’t push it.”

a laugh escapes him. not listening to your warning, he pulls you into a hug. this time, it was a hug of desperation and relief. his head’s buried in your neck, breathing in the body mist you always wear at home.

“i’m sorry,” he apologizes.

“dear god, fuck that bitch i hope she dies,” you comforted satoru, returning his hug and patting his back.

do you have an issue with satoru? no, but he did set you off when he refused to cut contact with her when you asked.

it took him quite some days to see the vision, and you’re glad he did.

hey guys 😣 if anyone’s confused about this part:

“what made this sudden change? i thought you were glued to her.”

“she was glued to me!” he clarifies.

“tomato, tomahto. potato, potahto.”

it simply means “what’s the difference?”

when (y/n) said she thought satoru was glued to saori, satoru responded with “she’s glued to me!”

(y/n) says “tomato, tomahto. potato, potahto.” because it doesn’t matter how you pronounce it since it’s the same word. there’s no difference.

satoru was glued to saori and vice versa so what’s the difference fr

hope this helped 😜

#+ rizsu: jujutsu kaisen.#gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x fem!reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru angst #gojo angst #gojo oneshot #jjk oneshot #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo fluff

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nghtwngs · 1 year

Text

silly human traditions

description: you’ve never had a new year’s kiss before. neither has the doctor. you decide to change that tonight.

pairing: tenth doctor x reader (you can probably read it as eleven too!)

genre: fluff, friends to lovers, mutual pining

word count: 1.2k

warnings: alcohol consumption (by the doctor), ten might be ooc bc im literally rewatching eleven’s episodes (im on the second christmas special rn!) and i think ive lost his voice but i hope that’s not the case

a/n: happy new year!! i wrote this up like real fast bc i was thinking about kissing ten and well… yeah

You walk into the TARDIS’s control room with a huge grin plastered on your face. “Doctor, we have to celebrate our first New Year!”

The Doctor looks up from the control console and turns his head to face you. “New Year?” His eyebrows are furrowed, lips curled down into a frown. “There’s no concept of time in the time vortex—how would we celebrate New Year’s?”

“Well, my phone’s calendar doesn’t change.” You pull out your device, opening the calendar app and holding it up for him to see. “It’s currently December 31st. And also we celebrated the holidays this past week.”

He pulls out his glasses out of his suit and puts them on. He squints at your screen anyway. “Well, I guess so. How’d you figure we do that?” He jumps up, running over to you. “What about a planet where everything is made of water? Or we could watch a galaxy of stars fizzle out into nothing but dust!”

“Well, Doctor, I was thinking we could just, I don’t know… spend it on Earth? Watch the ball drop in Time Square or something? Hm, actually maybe not that.”

“You little humans and all your traditions.”

“You love it.”

He mirrors your cheeky grin. “Alright, then! I think I have just the place.” He rushes over to the console, doing his thing. The TARDIS makes her signature wheezing noise, reminding you to hold on tight. “New York! Present year… well, for you anyway. Two hours ‘til midnight. Dress well. We have a party to crash!”

You make a sound of excitement, giving the Doctor a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Amazing.” You run off to the TARDIS’s vast wardrobe to find an appropriate outfit.

After finishing getting ready, you pop back into the control room to find the Doctor fiddling with his tie. He’s dressed in a black suit. A classic. You think it suits him well. (Pun not intended.)

“No bow tie this time?” you ask, walking over to him.

He just shakes his head. “Nah.”

“You clean up nicely,” you say, tightening his tie for him.

He smiles so softly at you that it makes your heart ache with need. “You do too.”

You clear your throat when the intensity of his gaze hits you. “Well, we better get to the party. Don’t wanna miss anything else.” You link your arms, dragging him out of the TARDIS.

Turns out, the party he took you to crash is filled with a bunch of celebrities. No one either of you care for, but celebrities nonetheless. It makes you feel important to be around all these people. Like you’re important enough to be around the Doctor, who you’d say is the most famous of them all. It makes you feel special. Being here. With him, but maybe not with him.

He doesn’t even bother to correct anyone when they mistake you for being an item. You often wonder if there is any deeper meaning behind that. It makes your heart stumble off beat. But that’s silly. A ridiculous, quite pathetic notion.

Silly human things, you suppose.

But it’s okay. He makes you feel special. Anyone the Doctor chooses to be his companion is special.

The very best of humanity, he’d say.

The Doctor has a sip of some random alcoholic drink you were both offered (you declined) and sticks his tongue out in disgust. He immediately places the glass back onto the tray. “That was dreadful. Absolutely dreadful.”

You can’t stop yourself from giggling until he grabs your water and chugs the entire thing. You grumble, “I was about to drink that.” But your words come out much too soft, too fondly for him to believe you’re really upset over it.

He leads you out onto the balcony with his hand on your back. You forget all about your drink.

“Oh my, God!” You double over, holding onto the Doctor’s arm. “They were sentient? How can grass be sentient?” You both continue to wheeze like it’s the funniest thing the two of you ever heard.

“Yeah, they were quite rude honestly. Telepathic. Said my hair looks ridiculous,” he muses. His voice suddenly goes quiet. He leans into you, staring into your eyes like it’d make you any more honest. “Does my hair look ridiculous?”

You run your fingers through his locks, making sure not to mess them up. “Your hair looks great. I always like it.”

“Yeah? You think so?”

You nod in agreement.

Cheers erupt from inside, and you’re worried you missed the countdown. But there’s still another five minutes left.

“Do you have any resolutions for the New Year, Doctor?”

“Resolutions? Why would I need resolutions? Is that some human tradition? Why do you have so many traditions?”

“People just want to have goals, I guess? I never really stuck with mine. And well, it’s really just that and uh… the New Year’s kiss.”

“New Year’s kiss?” He frowns.

“Yeah, they say if you kiss someone at midnight on New Year’s, it’ll strengthen the bond between you? I don’t know. It’s silly. I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss before, so I couldn’t tell you if it’s true or not.”

“Huh.” There’s his thinking face. Nothing good ever comes from his thinking face. Not unless you’re in a life or death situation, and you don’t think you are right now. At least you really hope not. “Do you… Would you like to test that theory out?”

You almost choke. “What?”

“Well, I mean, it’s not like we have to or anything.”

“I didn’t peg you as the superstitious type.”

“I’m not. But no harm in trying it out, right?”

No, there’s a lot of harm in trying it out, you want to say. You think your heart might explode out of your chest. That would be a horrible way to start out the new year. He’d have to find another companion whose heart stays in their chest cavity and away from both of his.

“Yeah, no harm at all.”

Why can’t your mouth just stay shut sometimes?

You hear the countdown start.

Ten.

He holds your chin between his index finger and thumb.

Nine.

His warm eyes look into yours.

Eight.

You’ve never been touched with such gentleness before.

Seven.

His scent is so clean and warm and so him.

Six.

The proximity is completely dizzying.

Five.

You think you can feel your knees buckle.

Four.

How can he look at you as if you’re the only interesting thing in the universe?

Three.

When he’s seen it all.

Two.

A quick glance at your lips.

One.

The Doctor presses his lips against yours. It’s wonderful. He tastes like berries. When in the world did he have berries? Your arms slink around him, pulling him as close as possible. He doesn’t seem to mind. He cups your face with his hands. What a brain melting kiss. The strings of his hearts are knotting with yours. You want to be consumed by this feeling.

It doesn’t register that you have to breathe for a minute, but you think you’d kiss him forever if you could. You have all the time in the world anyway. You wonder how long can Time Lords go without air. Probably much longer than humans, yeah? You, with much reluctance, pull away.

He pecks your lips again. He grins cheekily at you. “A while.”

You scoff. You hate it when he does that. And when he smiles at you like that. Your neck grows hot even though it’s cool outside. “It’s midnight.” You’re still breathless.

“It is.”

“You’re my first New Year’s kiss.”

“You’re mine.”

Maybe it’s true; the bond between you does feel stronger this year. You kiss him again and then some more.

#tenth doctor x reader #tenth doctor imagine #10th doctor x reader #10th doctor imagine #eleventh doctor x reader #eleventh doctor imagine #11th doctor x reader #11th doctor imagine #doctor who x reader

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saintjosie · 6 months

Note

Hey I just saw your post on trans women who experience period symptoms and I have a question, as somebody who does not experience that!

So basically first off great post, periods are hormonally triggered so yes if your HRT mimics the cycle of a cis dyadic woman’s yes people will get periods! Even if they don’t have a uterus.

However there is one symptom I’m a little bit confused about—cramps.

Since cramps are directly caused by the uterus (i.e. through the uterine muscles contracting), how does that happen to somebody with no uterus?

I don’t mean to say that you don’t experience that pain, I’m not you and I’m sure you do, I just am a little bit confused about how. Bc while a lot of period symptoms (like the mood swings you mentioned, breast sensitivity, etc.) are hormonal and have no connection to having a uterus, cramps, while also triggered by hormones, happen because the hormones then go on to trigger the uterus, which then causes the individual pain.

You’re not obliged to answer any of this, Ofc. But as a follow-up: how painful are they? Bc for example with something like endometriosis they can become more painful because of uterine tissue growing where it’s not supposed to. So do you know if something like that would be possible (not the growing of more uterine tissue, but the increased pain levels)?

so i actually have no idea how that works from a biology standpoint cause tbh, i didn’t realize i was having period cramps for nearly a year. i actually thought i had something very very wrong with my GI tract and i was freaking out cause of it.

the only reason i figured out it was period cramps is cause my gf pointed out to me that it seemed to be a fairly regular (as in around every three and a half weeks) that i would have “stomach issues”. and then realizing that while i had “stomach issues”, i would also have “toothaches” (gum swelling) and “random burning pain in my knees” (joint inflammation).

so i started putting in my stomach pain in my calendar and lo and behold, synced nearly perfectly with the lunar cycle, was my period displayed neatly in data.

but this is part of why i think it’s so important to talk about it. because it took me over three years on hormones to figure out what was happening to me and trans women’s periods aren’t talked about in ways that are helpful to trans women who are figuring out what’s going on with their bodies.

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herotome · 7 months

Text

Devlog #120

Hi-ho, Wudge here. Early devlog...!

This week I drew a blush just for Warden and nobody else. There are two very specific ways to see it, and only in this office location. So... good luck!

I playtested the game enough to get allllllll 26 achievements. I actually... had to reference my own walkthrough to get one of them. ;;; But I was able to do it!!

I also had a small.. incident where Griffin promised he'd talk to everyone to help fix their negative opinions of me (aka, reset the approval points to a more neutral zone after I thoroughly antagonized everybody).... and then he didn't. It's fixed now ;;;;;; But woo that would have been an awful lil mistake hahaha.

I finished the 'updating ur mc pfp' tutorial - seems to be intuitive and working seamlessly enough!

I converted converted alllll the pngs into webps, and converted alllllllllll the mp3s and wavs into oggs...

...and deleted all unnecessary files and notes from the development process. This is usually the stage where I'll end up breaking something from accidentally nuking an important file... but so far so good.

I put in a cute, special lil sfx for the reward you get after the credits.

Finish designing and coding my SECRET NG+ screen, and wrote a personalized dev note to put in it.

And - we've finally updated Mr Whidden! Wahoo!!!! Remnantation did an amazing job as always!

I thought about putting in some animated smoke coming out of his cannon arm but I had to tell myself No... No Wudge....stop.. ......I did add a lil ember and smoke at the very edge of the gun but THATS IT I restrained myself there and did not animate!!!

So, what else is left?

Thanks I'm glad you asked.

Test my email subscription service to see how much I can customize those emails.

Film and upload the Griffin CG video.

Finish and import a few final pieces of in-game art (1 bird sprite, 1 background, some food art).

Review some sound effects in a final, final dev playtest.

Schedule out some social media release posts; wherein I might do like, a week of counting down until the game's release.

Finish updating my itch page (adding the final few lil graphics, putting up the new Content Warning, linking to the new video, then finally, uploading the game files and walkthrough).

Decide how I'm gonna update my pinned post. I should save a link to the old one bc most of its information should be quite relevant, but I'll want a temporary, shorter pinned post for new players who aren't familiar with this blog and are looking to troubleshoot or say hi or something.. Should still have fun attention-grabbing gifs and stuff from the itch page though. <_<

.... So yeah, mostly like - social media promo stuff. That should be it. Fingies crossed. Whew.

By the way?

Super Demo comes out December 2nd. Mark your calendars <3

Stay safe and keep warm,

Wudge.

#herotome update #amareteabreak #oelvn #visual novel #superheroes #otome game #otome #interactive fiction #english otome #fiction #indie dev #indie otome #indie game #indie games

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sgiandubh · 8 months

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Why is it that it *urks* me S so easily plays the narrative with these porn loving young girls?! All he works for and accomplishes, he disrespects himself allowing his reputation to be linked to those kind of very young women. How can it be okay for him to let people believe he is a *man whore* (as the group of so called haters say)? It's not like they could still play the narrative with a beautiful woman that does not post her body parts all over social media!! I just feel like everytime they link him with one of those women, I lose a little more respect for him. For me, it also takes away from the love I've always seen between him and C. Ugh! I feel crazy for it bothering me! Am I the only one?!

Dear Bothered Anon,

I am sorry for the substantial delay. Flu happened still, and I wanted to have a clearer and rested mind in order to properly answer your question.

I shall again be brutally honest and say I really don't care at this point what brought you here: sincerity or elicitation of shippers' reactions on this very meh week-end. It doesn't really matter, either: but since Mordor is regularly accusing us of spoliation of evidence, I thought your submission deserved a careful answer. I know that annoys the shit out of them, too - not gonna lie, I am always pleased to oblige.

For our readers that have a normal life and were not here for Marple's midnight stalking session, here goes a summing-up of the facts (I hope you don't mind):

A video snippet of what is probably a more extended FaceTime conversation between S and Amanda Tutschek ( https://paintedpeachla.com/), a topless artist and painting tutor (100 USD/hour/class) from Vancouver, BC (but currently active in Venice Beach, Ca.) surfaced on Marple's account, supposedly dropped in her DMs by a good Samaritan. It is a nine second snippet ("... yeah...I was gonna put this one up here... but so funny... I was literally doing this yesterday and I was thinking about you...") with the comment: "Pimping out @samheughan's walls in Ireland (IE flag emoji)". It stayed on Tutschek's Instagram account for about four hours and then was promptly erased.

You start by telling me "S is playing the narrative with" the #silly calendar girls crowd. Is he, in this instance and if so, how can you (or anybody) be so sure?

Two scenarios are at play here:

First scenario: S/his people leaked this on purpose. Therefore, S is a troll.

Second scenario: Tutschek posted it as an Instastory on purpose. Therefore, S is a victim.

If S is trolling the fandom and I believe he is (only not now and not like this), why would he leak this on purpose? To emphatically let us know they're 'obviously not together'? To stir the pot between Queen *urv and Marple? To consolidate his man whore image, just when he was taking part in a critically important event in New York? I can understand the Lord of the Rings rigmarole (grinned for days), but assuming he is behind this strange snippet would be stretching the fabric of facts a bit too much, to my taste.

Also, despite *urv's delirious opinion ("he had a bedroom voice"), I think he just sounded tired and vaguely friendly: yes, I do think it's his voice. Not earlier than Friday evening, I received a video call on Fb from M, a (Taurus, hehe) former high school mate and one of my best friends. She always makes a point of telling me stuff like "I was buying grapes at the farmer's market and thought about you, how you absolutely hate them, so I called"/"I am at the Opera with Professor So-and-So, I told him about my brilliant friend in Athens, wanna say hi ?" That doesn't mean M wants me, the woman is happily married with two teenage boys. But she is a kind soul, with a superb understanding about what a friend really means (including being candidly obnoxious and immediately forgiven for it).

If Tutschek posted it out of her own accord on Insta, the reason would be simple: coat-tailing for clicks, shits and giggles. The insistent Ireland reference would point to that: I mean, the woman scrolled all the way down to the flag emojis to make sure we got the point (and in the process, more innuendo, mayhap). That would also explain why she promptly took it down: either because she realized somehow she pushed things a smidge too far or because she was strongly encouraged to cut the crap.

Seriously, whatever. This is just another episode of low-cost fuckery, irrespective of the two possibilities I just discussed. Her art is not as memorable as the bosom she generously shares with the world. It is borderline depressing and nothing to write home about, if you ask me. And the fact that the fandom quickly placed her in the same social circle with Quarantein Gia and Paparazzi Clarke, well... another major eyeroll, just here. The expected effect was exactly the one you described: to quietly gnaw at people's respect of S and also to chip a bit more of the fairytale.

This will happen only if you let them. These people, whoever they are, cannot challenge your reason, because there is nothing interesting or even logical about idiotic tidbits like this one. But they can and they are challenging and playing with your emotions, in order to instill doubt, insecurity, fear or disgust. I will not discuss Marple's editorial policy here (like her legally disingenuous use of someone else's material), simply because I do not want to give that derailed jukebox further space on my page. It is my sensible choice not to let these people in my world more than they deserve to be (very little). Maybe you should try it too, Anon. It could work for you as it did for me, once I came to terms with it.

I am not even sorry about the length of this answer. Haters gonna hate. I could not care less. Thanks for dropping by.

#Anon

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monstrsball · 1 year

Text

my ratings of the hq character signatures

i got all of these images from @/todokugou on twitter! the adlers & msby ones were merch for the hq exhibit & oikawa’s is from the 2022 calendar.

ratings are entirely arbitrary. enjoy.

miya atsumu

4/10

i know signatures aren't necessarily supposed to be legible but this isn't even illegible in a fun way... where's the pizzazz. he gets extra points because it is very atsumu though.

sakusa kiyoomi

7/10

yes, i put his right after atsumu's because i really liked the contrast between the two. i'm obsessed with how small his signature is. and it looks more legible to me than some of the others? which is pretty fittng tbh.

bokuto koutarou

8/10

FUN. i like how big it is. i like the little swirly flourish. is it legible? eh, not really but i still love it. makes me smile.

hinata shouyou

9/10

fun!! i adore the smiley face, and i love how bold the lines are.

oikawa tooru

10/10

my second favorite signature. i love how big/ long the arm on the T is. very flashy, extremely oikawa. i really like the smiley face in his, maybe even more than i like the smiley face in hinata's.

also hinata's and oikawa's are both interesting to me bc of the romanized versions of their given names that were used.

ushijima wakatoshi

9/10

is it flashy? no but it is the perfect signature for ushijima wakatoshi. by far it's the most legible and honestly, it kinda looks to me like he just wrote his name the way he normally does but Bigger. no notes. you're doing great, king.

hoshiumi kourai

10/10

i am like... not 100% sure what's going on here but i like it!! it's flashy!! i really like the signatures with bold lines like this. i think it really suits the characters.

kageyama tobio

100000000/10

blatant favoritism because it's canon that his signature is the one suga made for him in high school. which is important to me. but even if there wasn't that factor, i would still really like his because of the heart. also like... suga created this signature but it still seems very kageyama to me? which i like.

#hq!!#hq signature ratings #originally i was gonna order this by least favorite to favorite but i changed my mind. decided just to go msby -> oikawa -> adlers #pls take anything i said abt the legibility of the kanji ones with a MASSIVE grain of salt i am not an expert on reading kanji #i was just comparing their signatures to their names

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iraprince · 7 months

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I adore all your art with cookie and was interested in Sapphicworld- but I’m curious (so plz don’t take this as a negative-) what exactly in your opinion sets it apart from other Queer PBTA hacks like Thirsty Sword Lesbians?

I’d just really like to hear your thoughts about it as a system and world especially given you are a indie developer yourself?

hi!! thank you!!

so, a few caveats before i start off — one, i actually haven't played many other pbta games (like for example i know Of thirsty sword lesbians + own a copy that i've poked around in but im not very familiar w it), so i honestly can't provide much in the way of comparing/contrasting it w other pbta stuff in the same vein, and my impressions of sapphicworld are pretty much just contained to the game as its own thing, not so much sapphicworld as a Type Of Game

and two, while i am a dev myself, i'm a huge novice! like, i'm proud of the stuff i put out and i love doing it, but i personally feel like my lack of experience is such that like, i don't think my opinions in this case are particularly informed by my own work as a dev or anything. all this to say im happy to answer this question, i think i just gotta tackle it from a different frame than what ur specifically asking!

BUT ANYWAY. i can still talk abt why im so excited abt sapphicworld in a way that has kind of outstripped other stuff in general, and for me it's about the world 100%. like i honestly spend close to no time thinking abt the fact that sw is even pbta to be honest. not that the mechanics + gameplay aren't important, bc they are thoughtfully crafted and well done and fun, and i'm saying that from the perspective of someone who playtested earlier versions that have now been reworked! it's just like, not what comes to mind first for me — what's exciting and fresh and irreplaceable abt the game in my mind is like. it is fully committed to immersing you in an extremely lush, strange, richly fleshed out world, one with a long history and folklore/mythology and a TON of really fun npcs who all have different subcultures and its own calendar with seasonal holidays and regional terrain with specific fleshed out dungeons/towns/etc to discover and even like, specific FOODS typical to each different region and and and and —

and maybe at first that seems kind of overwhelming, and tbh it is. when i first got into it and i was going thru the playtest document (which if im remembering right was like. ~300 pages shorter at the time than the current playtest doc) i DO remember anxiously thinking to myself "god this is a LOT and idk if i'll be able to retain enough of this to rp convincingly" etc etc. but like... it's just really compelling, and it does an incredible job of mixing humor and gravity and horniness in a perfect ratio that always comes across as intensely earnest and makes it equally easy to have a fun goofy time or a really emotional time, which i think is REALLY hard to do.

and while normally it's hard for me to get thru something that dense and long all i can really say is that i just straight up like it enough and was charmed by it enough to pick away at it until i grasped it and felt like i understood a bunch about the world, which also has a curve to it bc in structure and tone its very different from any of your... idk more Standard fantasy or sci fi worldbuilding, so it's not like u can immediately slot in ur expectations from other settings and just learn some new vocab words, it's a world that from my perspective also Functions differently than a lot of other fictional settings in a way that's a little hard to describe succinctly. (none of this is succinct to begin with but ykwim). it makes me want to gm my own campaign, really really bad, when usually i have always been absolutely Terrified of the idea of gming! idk man. it has a Flavor. it's full of Vapors. u get transported somewhere else reading it and playing it in a way i haven't experienced in a while and a lot of times after a playtest session i felt like my brain stayed behind in sapphicworld for a pretty long time.

i feel like i am sounding a little melodramatic and incoherent but like. genuinely sapphicworld is just a fictional world that i am really bone-deep charmed by and interested in and when i WAS reading thru the rulebook for those first days it did not take me long at all to find myself constantly thinking "i want to play in this world, i want to play in this world, i can't wait to play in this world," and i just think that's really special. and like — just as your curiosity abt comparing sw to tsl was not intended as a diss or a negative, what im abt to say is similarly neutral — im a person who sometimes finds it a little difficult to click with or feel excited abt a lot of the Queer Indie Stuff that i see get popular with other people, bc it just doesn't connect w my specific lesbian + trans experience; not that it feels inauthentic but that im like, oh, idk, i think these guys are just. not My Zone, ykwim. on the flip side so much of the humor and heart and transness and sex in sapphicworld is something that really resonates w me and just Clicks in a way that i have also found really special.

rounding myself off before i ramble for like five more paragraphs but just as one more morsel of something i like abt sapphicworld that is a little more concrete than me spinning around the room yelling "I JUST LIKE IT OKAY": one of the most fun parts of character creation is getting to mix and match your kind (sort of like ancestry/species, the form ur physical body takes) with a subculture. so u get things like a werewolf babe (cookie! babe being a subculture that focuses on being Like, Totally Hot), or a centaur knight, or a minotaur debaucher, or a vampire cowboy, or an organist (cthulu-y tentacle guy) scenester, or a skeleton wizard, etc etc etc etc — there are SO MANY to pick from that when i was trying to bait my friends into playing w me i couldn't find a convenient way to list them all so ppl could start thinking abt their characters. and every possible combination basically is interesting and amusing and fun and practically THROWS a great oc into your lap and i literally think i could amuse myself endlessly just Making Characters in sapphicworld and never actually playing w them.

[panting, disheveled] so tldr. i like it. uh. what sets sapphicworld apart from other ttrpgs to me is that i have fallen balls to the wall in love with the very soul of it to the point where i don't even really think about it in comparison to other games at all and it has just become an Experience to me and i suppose i cannot guarantee anyone else will fall into insane homosexual hysteria in the same way but here we are. HOPE THAT HELPS

(ALSO PSSST. idk if this is just perfect timing or if ur curiosity was specifically prompted by this but the @sapphicworldttrpg patreon DID just launch and if any of this has been intriguing u should check it out. okay mwah bye)

#anyway thank u bc ive been so busy these past few weeks/months ive had no time to rotate it in my brain #and im not caught up on the most current versions etc #so this was a nice opportunity to slow down and take a breath and geek out abt something i like a lot. :D #sapphicworld #ttrpgs #also hi eclipse i am a little embarrassed to have tagged u onto a post of me just like. Gushing-#-but i want ppl to be able to find the game account lol. [waves sheepishly] i like ur art. as u know.

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desceros · 5 months

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How do you personally plan out your fics, especially with one as long as Symphony? Like what's the process behind creating the chapter outlines before you start writing?

so in the very beginning, all of my fic ideas start out the same regardless of length. it always starts with a little kernel of an idea. for example, with symphony, i wanted to write a fic exploring donnie having touch starvation after developing ptsd post-krang. hence why the google doc title is "touch-starved donnie."

then what happens is i start thinking about scenes that i want to have happen in the fic. i'm not really paying attention to anything chronological just yet, just Cool Shit That I Want To Write. this is when i start getting a vague idea of length; the more scenes that pop into my head, the less connected they are (thus requiring more things written between them To connect them) the more i'm like haha! uh oh! this is gonna be a big one huh! and eventually i'll get to a point where i realize that yep, this is gonna be a chaptered fic.

at that point, i start to kind of... pin things into place in my head in a chronological timeline. (this is all still very early in the planning process, mind you.) i'll think of when i want certain things to happen, what key points i'd like to have occur, when they'd make sense together. so this would look kind of like... i knew i wanted to have a scene in symphony where you went on an aquarium date with donnie. and i knew i wanted there to be a scene where you touched him and he was overwhelmed bc it's been so, so long. and i knew i wanted there to be a scene where he kisses you to 4'33. and i knew i wanted to have a scene where leo smelled donnie on you. so you can figure out it goes learning to touch donnie -> leo smelling him on you -> 4'33 kiss -> date with donnie. you do that over and over with all the scenes in your head until you have a general timeline of things.

this is when i start writing things down properly. before this, i'll write down, like. lines of dialogue that i want to have happen or key things to have happen. (e.g. "do you wanna try it?" -> you asking donnie out was planned before i had a single chapter written. i had a list of the escalation of touch that you do with him. a list of the subplots i wanted to incorporate. etc.) but i'll kind of write a... summary of the fic. truncated, but with enough detail that i know exactly what i want to have happen, as seen here in my plan for chapter 9/the beginning of 10:

you'll notice it isn't completely faithful to what happens in the fic... and that's because sometimes while i'm writing, i'll have a better idea of how i want something to happen, or i'll tie in something from a future/past chapter that fits better, or i just straight up change my mind. you're allowed to deviate from your plan!

sometimes, if i'm Really getting into the weeds or if scheduling is important (like. say. if you're writing a character who is a bit of a workaholic and has a tight schedule with things, cough, violist-chan) i'll make a calendar. this lets me keep things straight with when they happen without creating any time paradoxes. (this particular one is color coded later on as i realized i had to track certain things, but don't worry about that. not relevant for this question!)

so at this point, i have an outline of the fic on very broad strokes, most of the chapters summarized out specifically (usually a few chapters ahead, and the last. hm. three or four or so, with the last chapter very specifically planned out) (...yes i do know exactly how the fic is going to end and you're all going to die. but not as hard as i am!), and a calendar with when things happen.

then what i do is i open the google doc, put the summary for what's supposed to happen on the left, and get writing.

and voila. that's my planning process! simultaneously very nebulous but also...... extremely concrete. hehe

#ask tag #symphony tag #writing tag

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beefrobeefcal · 6 months

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fic author self rec

rules: when you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍

thank you @iamasaddie & @sydneyinacoma for the tag! 💜🥩💜

it's hard as hell for me to choose but i will do my darndiddily arndest! None of these will be surprising... 👌🥩💜

so here it is in no particular order:

The Catfish & The Mouse - Chubby!Frankie Morales & F!Reader

The thing that started it all! I have a soft spot for this bc it's what thrust me from being a spectator to an active participant in the fic writing world. Even though I have my wish list for changes I would make to this, I don't think I will touch it (at least for the foreseeable future) bc it's so dear to me.

Baby's Got a Temper - Chubby!Frankie Morales & F!Reader One Shot

This def takes the top spot for my fav C!FxM one shots. This one was the first one I had a lot of fun writing. I loved the prompt, I loved the way it fell out of me, I loved the reception. I feel like I hit a good groove with this piece.

The Way to a Man's Heart - Chubby!Joel Miller & F!Reader

I have said this before, but I was so nervous about this one. Joel already has a heavy duty, ironclad canon with a fairly solid reputation in the fic world for being a dom!daddy big meanie pants (sometimes with a heart of gold) that can leave little to find new grounds in. While I don't think that I broke new ground with a softer Jackson-era Joel, I was pleased with how Chubby!Joel rolled out. Credit to Hozier’s newest album that I played on repeat while writing this for the softy Joel vibes.

An HR Nightmare - Chubby!Javier Peña x F!Reader

What else is there to say about the Bistro's gumpy done-with-this-shit narco buster? i loved writing this. And being a Peña girlie, when the prompts rolled in, I couldn't deny the call. Even though I wasn't 100% sure the fic would fly, the response warmed my cold beef heart and made me feel more confident in my choices. Also, the request fom @toxicanonymity for an In Between the Scenes made it even more fun for me.

On the Waterfront - Dark!Frankie Morales x F!Reader (ongoing)

Truthfully, if you put me in a room with all my children fics and said to choose one, I'd choose OTWF. Couple of reasons: 1. I'm super proud of it. I felt like all the confidence and skill I had building up came to fruition in this one. While I would happily read all my fics if someone else wrote them, this is the one that I would be keeping calendar on for the updates (apologies to those keeping calendar for the updates). 2. (and arguably the more important one) @neverwheremoonchild -I have such admiration for them & feel so delighted for the brainstorming sessions we have had conjuring the plot. From the we-need-jesus all caps chats to the feral livedocs with endless notes & cry-laugh inducing comments... let's just say that OTWF is not about the journey, it's about the friends we make along the way.

NO PRESSURE TAGLIST: @theywhowriteandknowthings @neverwheremoonchild @rebel-held @xdaddysprincessxx @albertasunrise @avastrasposts @ghosmooth-operator ... and anyone else who wants to get in on it!

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal tummy #frankie morales #triple frontier #francisco catfish morales #frankie morales fanfiction #chubby frankie rights !!!!!#tag game #joel miller fanfic #chubby!joel miller #chubby joel rights !!!#javier peña fanfiction #chubby!peña #chubby peña rights !!!#🥩#friends of beefro

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lunebits · 2 years

Text

how i study with autism

hello !! so i never really see anything about trying to survive the hell that is high school when you’re trying to study with autism ?-?!? so i wanted to make one with my own tips !! it’ll be organized by section dw <3

part one: morning/night routines + going to school

it’s important to know what you can/cannot do! (the things i can’t do i call “land mines” btw bc if i do them it’s only a matter of time before i explode) for example: waking up before 6:15am for me is a landmine. studying in the morning is a landmine. being late is a landmine, etc.

also, for me mornings are usually overstimulating, so i read and i wear my comfiest clothes and use a blanket when i’m eating breakfast !!

basically the whole point is to make a morning routine that avoids your landmines! and gives you ample time to get ready to go out into the world.

at night, i give myself a hard stop time. i have to get things done, or at least partially done, by that time. for me, it’s 9:45 !! when i stop at that time, it gives me time to unmask in my room and stim before going to bed.

also keep your routines simple. i always have trouble remembering really complex routines! so usually i remember that i have to read, take care of my hygiene, pick clothes out, and go to bed.

i’m not saying you should go to sleep late or early, but if a lack of sleep causes you to meltdown the next day …. GO TO SLEEP !!!!!!

for the longest time i felt really weird bc i went to school w/o a comfort item before i realized … my phone is my comfort item … ANYWAY the point is being a comfort item to school ++ anything else to get you through that sensory hell.

most of the time, you can spend lunch in the library if the cafeteria is too much for you. also, go to the bathroom for a few minutes when you get overwhelmed during class. it’s helpful, and i promise you look normal. don’t worry.

part two: planning

my two main systems planning programs are google calendar + todomate. they’re easy to be flexible with and they’re easy to use!

i write my tasks during the day using todomate. it’s just easier. then, to motivate myself later when i’m working, i write them in my bullet journal.

i actually Don’t Timeblock because i tend to feel really stressed when i get off schedule by even just a minute.

instead i work in hour long blocks using a 50/10 work/break pomodoro thingy ;; and i don’t assign tasks to each block either i just do them as best i can. for me, it reduces stress bc usually i can look at my todo list where i’ve defined exactly what i need to do and then just work for as long as i need. my only concern is stopping by 9:45.

i use a notion calendar to plan my studying for tests. here’s how i plan for them !! :

i usually give myself (if possible) a week before a big test to study the material. under the event, i add a todo list that where i put exactly what i need to do on what day to stay on track. the important thing is to not overcrowd a day! NEVER !!! extend the amount of days you need to study if you have to, but never overcrowd a day. especially if you don’t know your workload before that day.

overall, keep it simple. planning isn’t actually doing, so don’t overexert yourself when planning. it’s important to understand yourself !!

part three: actually doing stuff !

lets be honest — assignments are actually hell and i hate them but i have to do them to get good grades

essays: break down the prompt or assignment task and outline your essay RIGHT AWAY. ik it’s hard to get an idea initially, but a little brainstorming doesn’t hurt. a lot of the time, you can actually implement stuff about your special interest in them to make arguments and points, etc. also, plan out when you’re gonna write what parts of the essay. and follow said schedule.

general homework assignments: usually these are completion, so honestly just sit down and get them the fuck done. the most important thing is that you actually understand what you’re doing. i mean, do you really understand how to solve that math problem? what that literature discussion question is asking?

projects: do your part of the project. break the parts down and delegate them to different days and actually do the project. also, i try to work alone most of the time bc it’s just easier, so do try to ask about working alone if you need to.

i can preach about actually doing shit but that doesn’t keep the demons that are executive dysfunction, anxiety, and depression at bay. here’s how i deal with them:

executive dysfunction: mine usually goes away with a plan. if i physically can’t bring myself to do something, i set a timer for 10 minutes, where i promise myself at the end of that time i’ll do something. usually something completely unrelated to work like making tea or tying my hair up. usually that’s enough to get me moving and actually get me to my desk, or at least pull something to do out.

anxiety: this is literally going to sound silly but i actually just make tea. the tea is warm and it grounds me, and it forces me to get up. i also get a blanket and wear something comfy. and usually on bad anxiety days i try to get done earlier, or just do the bare minimum.

depression: this is especially prevalent for me on the weekends. i am so lethargic on the weekends. the first thing i fucking do is actually shower. go take that shower. if you’re still not feeling it, make your favorite drink, even if it’s just drinking gatorade at 3am. go play your favorite instrument or do a puzzle. just do something. hopefully, it’ll be enough to get you to do some of your work. remember, doing bare minimum is completely fine. you don’t have to do everything at 110%. things can be 50%, 60%, or even 35% if that’s bare minimum.

part four: actually studying

here’s where i have to be like … this is what works for me. and you can adjust things as you need. also keep in mind that i go to a stem school lol

general and misc studying tips

body-doubling helps me a lot, so i study or work with study with me videos online. they come in all types, so it’s easy to find one that fits me for that day.

choose music your brain can take for that day. some days, i can study perfectly with lyrical music. but other days it’s too much so i need instrumental music.

oh, read textbooks like they’re books first. i swear. i usually go slower when i’m trying to take notes on the textbook. but if i read the textbook first like i’m just reading it for the sake of it, suddenly it gets less daunting and i can take notes later when i go through it again.

general review process (this is an everyday thing, usually.)

i collect the notes i took from my classes that day

i reformat them but make it fun style (ex: history notes are turned into a mind map or review questions, math notes are turned into me explaining a problem, etc.)

that’s literally it — these will be important for studying later.

studying process (basic process of how i actually study)

class notes — take notes and ask questions if you don’t understand smth.

general review (see above)

study for the assessment a week before.

ok this section is actually how i study for assessments

i always ALWAYS identify my weak spots first. to do this, i take one practice test or complete a review sheet my teachers gave me. if there isn’t one, i make my own review questions (these are usually for more concept based subjects)

then i ask my teachers questions if i don’t understand something. they should be open to helping you.

actual review methods now !! here’s what i do:

problem-based subjects (math, mostly):

i set a timer for 10 minutes and do as many problems as i can. idk why but i find this hilariously fun. i grade myself after and then reward myself with something — very often a sip of tea.

also most of the time i think of it like solving a puzzle, so i generalize solving into a process scheme, which i write down. (ex: step one: isolate y, etc.)

the bottom line is that practice questions are your best fucking friend. be buddies with those practice questions. so millions of them until you’re comfortable with the fact that you can do most of them.

content-based subjects (history, literature):

ok honestly i basically make a dnd game out of history. LISTEN ITS FUN OK like history is a series of events in your campaign and you can walk through the way things affected people and use fun dnd terminology if you need to.

also those mindmaps from your general review earlier? yeah those. use them !!! i do whats called blurting, where you essentially just dump everything you remember down. use the mindmap you made to check your understanding.

sometimes, like for art history, i’ll use flashcards to study. actually go through them — don’t just make them and call it a day and never look at them again. for me, i randomly separate them into piles. if i get through a pile without getting any wrong, i give myself a treat! if i don’t, i move on and just repeat that pile again later.

concept based subjects (like science):

science sucks for this but most of the time you need to understand and internalize the concepts so that you can apply it to questions. ap style questions do this a lot.

like with history, i do a lot of blurting. talking out loud also helps me think through how to explain things.

i also have this mind palace game where i assign a particular room in my house to a particular topic. then, i go to that room, recall everything i know and check myself. if i got it all right and didn’t forget smth, i take an item from that room and move onto the next. if i didn’t get it all right, i still move onto the next room, and i’ll repeat that room again later.

textbooks usually have good review questions. DO THEM!!!!!! and use the textbook to revise your answers and then answer them again.

ok i honestly think that’s it pls tell me if i can add stuff

#being autistic #autism #studyblr #studying with anxiety #studying with autism #study motivation #study tips

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cupoftaae · 1 year

Text

Forever and a day (KTH x READER) series♡ meet the parents. chapter 4

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count: around 3.1k I believe

chapter warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, (theres a flashback) trigger warning for this bc kaito is a little manipulative. Mentions of adhd, medications. There’s a lot of hot and cold behavior between Tae and reader, as well as a fight towards the end. Sorry!

A/N another thanks to everyone whos been liking, reading and reblogging this story (along with my other drabbles). I know my page isnt huge or anything but I love writing and seeing all of the support really motivates me, so thank you :) I also got to sit down and really plan out the rest of my chapters with great detail, I think you guys are gonna like the upcoming chapters so stay tuned (lots of drama)

enjoyyy! (also, I plan to create a spotify playlist for this series!)

A week later.

Taehyung turned around from the stove to face his laptop, currently on the page of something he thought he would never see, a college. he scrolled before turning back to flip his pancake, ensuring he didn't burn it. Over the past week, youve been spending most days and nights over at Kaitos, so he's had more room to think about things.

He wants to become more serious with his art desire, and he wants to prove to not only you, but himself, that he can do big things. So here he is, signing up for local art classes at the college a few streets down. He checked the schedule really quick to make sure that nothing would overlap with the class dates, humming to himself when he realized his first class would be this Saturday morning, the same day his parents were coming for dinner. He sat back against the counter and looked down at Yeontan, who was waiting for bits of food to fall.

Dinner. He forgot all about that, good thing you wrote it on the calendar. would you still even be up for going?

He sat in thought, perhaps too much thought. Taehyung's head whipped around at the aroma of burnt pancakes. "shit!"

maybe he should sign up for a cooking class too?

You and Taehyung havent spoken too much since he word vomited his confessions at you last week. The longest conversation you both shared was 2 days ago when your period suddenly came and you asked tae to bring you to the store late at night because you had ran out of tampons.

there was no discussion about anything he had said to you though, as if there was a mutual agreement to drop it and move on.

he scooped his somewhat burned pancake and put it on the plate, cutting off the black part and managing to revive his breakfast, seeming content with his work. "Not too bad, huh?" he smiled and looked down at his dog, who seemed to assume the food was for him.

Once taehyung sat down at the kitchen counter, he went back to reviewing the art classes website when suddenly you walked in.

The boys eyes darted up to the door, watching you put your bag down and look at him.

"hey" he shyly waved, taking a bite of his food.

you smiled, "hi", making your way over to him and sniffing the air. "you burnt them" you couldn't help but laugh a little.

"listen, it wasnt as bad as last time, taste" taehyung held the fork out with a small bit of food on it, allowing you to try it. "hm" you hummed, nodding. "ok its not charred ill give you that"

He smiled and watched as you sit down and pick tannie up. "so did you have fun at kaitos?" he asked, trying to just have small talk with you.

you looked up at him, "uh yeah, I guess" you shrugged, remembering last night. "we watched sports and he explained the entire game to me like I was stupid and didnt play soccer for 7 years" you laughed and moved your head to get close to the puppy in your arms, allowing taehyung to notice the dark purple mark hidden just above your clavicle.

he nearly chokes on his food, drawing your attention to him. "are you okay?" he nods and clears his throat. clearly you two didn't just watch sports. "im good, just swallowed wrong" he took a sip of his water and tapped his foot, avoiding his eyes from you as he thought of something else to say considering this conversation has now outlasted any previous ones of the past 7 days.

"oh you know this Saturday is the um, the dinner with my parents?" you looked at his laptop, feeling your eyes burn onto him. "oh shit I forgot about that" you smiled and looked over at the calendar on the fridge. "I did too" he laughs.

"you dont have to go if you arent up for it" he mumbles, still unable to look at you. "oh im going, I havent seen them in so long, even if we left off on a bad note, Im still close with them and I think its important to go to the dinner" you spoke matter of factly.

He simply nodded and took another bite of food.

"what are you doing?" you nosily ask, trying to drag out the interaction considering the fact you had missed conversing with your best friend.

He watches you lean over to look at his laptop. "oh its just, something Im interested in doing." tae shrugged, embarrassed you saw the website.

"art classes?" you ask, "I didnt know you liked that type of thing?"

"yeah, Ive always kinda wanted to do it but never had the chance. I mine as well try it right?" he smiled shyly.

"I think thats good for you" you nod, patting his back. "getting out more and stuff, you are always working from home. Oh look, the class is at my college so we might run into each other" you joke and walk off to your room.

the feeling of your hand against his back causes him to tense up, still trying to wrap his head around what he saw. It couldn't have been a hickey, maybe it was something else, perhaps you got hurt, right? .

oh who is he kidding. Who gets hurt on the neck like that, it was a hickey no doubt. (a/n: looking at you namjoon)

why was he kinda upset about that? He respected your space and the fact you are dating kaito, and thats what people who are in love do, they kiss each other....and stuff. He shook his head and stood up, deciding to go for a walk outside to clear his head.

While Tae headed out, you stepped into the bathroom to shower. Staring back at your reflection as you removed your shirt, revealing the dark spots peppering you neck and chest, your mind was brought back to the night prior.

Kaito kissed along your jaw, his hand coming under your shirt to brush your bare skin. you two were watching a soccer game but somehow it turned into a make out session he decided to bring upstairs to his room.

he hummed and pressed his lips against yours, your hand in his hair. he began pushing himself so his body was between your legs, hand now reaching for the hem of your shirt. "hm" you mumbled and pushed him off a bit, making him sit back and look at you. "what?" he asked, out of breath.

its not like you havent had sex with kaito.....ok, no thats exactly it. Youve never had sex with him. The most you two have done was letting him finger you under the blanket while watching a movie, then in return, sucking his dick in the backseat of his car.

He was more than ready to move forward with you, but you for some reason weren't.

you sighed and shrugged, removing his hand from your shirt. Kaito looked back at you before sitting to the side and laying on his back. "do you not want to have sex with me or something?" he spoke up.

"no, no, no, I do!" you lied, suddenly feeling guilt.

"then whats your problem?" he sighed, "every time I start something you always shut it down."

"im sorry" you whisper.

"dont be sorry, just dont lead me on." he shook his head.

you sat for a moment, taking a deep breath before getting up and moving to straddle his waist, his eyes widened up at you.

"im just nervous...ive...never done it before" you lied again, trying to convince him otherwise.

"oh" he spoke, hands on your waist as he seemingly took interest in the thought of him being the one to take your virginity.

the last time you had sex was a few months ago with taehyung. you've never done it with anyone else, ever.

"you trust me, right?" he tilted his head

you scanned his face, nodding. "yeah...."

with that he returned his lips against yours

your fingers ran over your chest, tears brimming to your eyes as you began to quietly sob. It wasn't like you had not consented to it. It was a mutual thing, and he's your boyfriend for god sakes, so why did you feel so damn dirty?

you cried as you showered away your thoughts and tried to wash off the feeling of disgust but it just wouldn't go.

and maybe, just maybe, deep down

you knew why.

Once Saturday had approached, you waited for taehyung to get back home from his first art class, deciding that you both could use a quick grocery shopping trip, as well as stop by the clothing store considering tonight was the dinner with his parents and you needed an outfit.

You looked at the clock to see it was almost 12, why isnt he home yet if the class ended at 11:40?

you decided on cooking a small breakfast while you waited, something for Taehyung too because you just know he had not eaten prior before leaving, and would be hungry when he returned.

Content with preparing some bacon and toast with fruit, you placed the dish on the counter before turning and grabbing Taehyung's medication from the top cabinet. Along with eating, you also have to remind him to keep up with his meds, which he has been taking since he was 13 for his ADHD. Sometimes you believe he thinks he doesnt have it, and thats why he forgets to take it.

finally sitting down to eat, you open up your laptop and begin to type away at some homework you needed to catch up on. You had not spoken to kaito in person since Wednesday night, he asked you for coffee this morning but you made some excuse about feeling ill, which had not been a total lie. You were worried that he was going to expect this of you each time you both met up. You've never felt so wrong about something you had no reason to be ashamed of, and the worst part was, you couldn't even talk to him about it. Kaito would make it some big issue about you 'not liking him enough or some shit'. You just knew you needed your own space for a few days, and were grateful you had extra concealer to hide the past weeks evidence painted along your neck, which you hoped to God taehyung had not seen.

you were drawn out of your thoughts as you watched the door open, a cheery tae walking in.

"hi!" he smiled and walked over, eating a piece of fruit off your plate.

"hey" you spoke, looking at him. "so? how was it?"

"it was so fun!! look, I made this" he held up a small canvas with strokes of multicolored paint splashed across in an artistic way. you nodded, not fully understanding art, in the same sense he couldn't understand literature. you didn't get why paint thrown on a white base was pretty or poetic, but you let him have it.

"I like it tae, good job" you offered a smile as he held it out into your hands. "keep it!" he spoke, turning to go greet his dog.

you smiled to yourself and looked over it before turning around as well, "eat breakfast and take your meds please, I was wondering if it was possible that we could go shopping before we meet up with your parents?"

he nodded and walked over to the counter, following your orders. "yeah we can, they arent gonna be ready to pick us up until 7." he spoke, shoving bacon into his mouth.

"perfect".

"Tae we dont need those, we have so many bags of chips at home" you protested, slumping as you pushed the grocery cart isle through isle.

He looked at the bag of cheese puffs and walked fast to catch up to you, "ah ah ah, nope. these ones are spicy. see?" He shoved it close to your face.

"fine." you sighed, trying to find the stuff you guys actually needed, like milk, coffee creamer, and-

"Taehyung??"

what??

you both turned around to see a younger girl walking up behind you, she had short hair and was bundled up in a large jacket, which is something you mentally mocked considering it was almost April.

you've definitely never seen her before, you turn to taehyung, "who the fuc-"

"annie!" he smiled and bows politely, leaving you in shock as you watched the two interact.

"long time no see" the girl giggled, almost obnoxiously

"we just saw eachother a few hours ago" he spoke

"it was a joke, taehyung" she laughed again, peaking over his shoulder to look at me. in that moment I could have sworn I felt her cold eyes burning into my skin.

"Hello, who is this?" she smiled and tapped tae's arm.

"Oh, thats y/n. shes my roommate" tae grinned at you and returned his eyes back at Annie.

roommate? thats all? no best friend since we were in diapers? You think you know a guy.

"Hi, Im annie. Taehyung and I go way back, and by that I mean we just met today." she smirked, tae laughing and adding on "In art class"

"oh" you nodded, feeling awkward all of a sudden. "nice to meet you" you bowed and turned to your grocery list, trying to seem busy as they continued their talking.

"I really liked your art" tae murmured, "it really feels like it goes beyond the surface" you roll your eyes and turn back, watching them.

"oh that means so much, thank you." she blushed.

SHE BLUSHED?

"you know, I have a Instagram account for my art....if you wanna follow?" Annie looked up with hopeful eyes, which tae reacted to by pulling his phone out and receiving the username.

seriously....who is this bitch?

"not to interrupt, but I have to get shopping now, we still need to go to the clothing store." you spoke, only facing tae.

"ok" he smiled and said his goodbyes to the girl, waving like a little kid before he caught back up with you.

"shes nice-"

"yah im sure, can we hurry?" you cut him off, watching his eyebrows scrunch before nodding.

Taehyung fiddled with the nearby clothing racks while he waited for you to get out of the dressing room. He never liked to go shopping, but when he went with you he always found it somewhat amusing, unless it was clothes shopping.

He paced slowly before knocking on the door. "are you almost done" he whispered, eyes looking around at nearby people.

"tae" you breathed out, "for the 3rd time, I will be out in a few, be patient." you spoke, aggravated.

he pouted and finally sat on the bench, tapping his feet while playing a game on his phone.

once you opened the door, you couldn't help but giggle at the sight. Like a kid waiting for his mom, he was funny without even knowing it.

"ok, how does it look?" you asked, grabbing his attention to the light brown sweater paired with a black mini skirt. It wasn't too special but it was nice, and it looked professional.

Tae looked up, eyes tracing over you entirely before gathering his words to speak. "uh....wow, you look really good" he nodded and stood up.

"are you sure? the skirt isnt too short, right?"

somewhere in his mind he wanted to make a joke and tell you it wasn't short enough, but he decided against it.

he shook his head. "you look beautiful."

you looked at him looking at you through the mirror as a wave of chills ran through your body.

he came up and carefully felt the fabric of the sweater, the feeling of his hand on you immediately made you flinch and pull away.

ah yes, the thought of physical touch. Something which disgusted you recently.

He frowned and before he could respond you went back to change into your regular clothes so you could purchase and leave.

Once you two were in the car, Tae had offered to stop and get you something to eat, you declined politely while he got himself a sandwich.

You felt bad considering you probably made him feel like he did something wrong, he didn’t. Taehyung wasnt the problem, you were.

The two of you quietly brought in the groceries, setting them on the counter. You began to put things away as you felt taehyungs eyes watching you. “What?” You exhaled, opening the fridge without even turning to direct your voice to him.

“Are you ok?”

“Why wouldnt I be?”

He blinked a few times while his fingers absent mindendly began to pick at his lower lip.

“Don’t do that” you spoke, watching him tuck his hands behind his back.

“It’s nothing I’m just, always checking in. You are my....friend. And I want you to be ok” he spoke as if he was unsure.

You jokingly scoffed and shook your head. “I’m ok Tae, i promise” you turned to him finally and offered a fake smile, something he saw right through but decided against speaking on it.

You heard him sigh before he walked back to head to his room. “I’m gonna shower”

“Ok” you mumbled and finished unpacking the groceries before taking your clothes and heading to your own room.

The clock read 6:40, that meant you and taehyung had to be dressed and ready to go in 20 minutes.

Taehyung decided to just slip on a button up shirt and dress pants, it’s his parents and he doesn’t feel too keen on trying to impress the people who always tell him he’s making the wrong choices.

He brushed his hair, mentally noting how long it’s gotten since the last time he let you cut it. His bangs lightly framed against his face as he sprayed cologne on, leaving the room to knock at your door. “Almost ready? Mom texted, she will be here a few minutes early?” He walked over to the hall to grab his coat off the rack, returning to hear your answer.

“Im doing my makeup!” You responded, careful with the mascara wand because you didn’t want to get it on anything other than your lashes. You quickly brushed your hair, clipping your bangs to the side while fluffing up the ends. You look over yourself, praising yourself for making the right clothing decision, it matched perfectly with your lipstick. You sprayed perfume on, the aroma filling your bathroom as you slipped a pair of small black heels on, making your way to the living room.

You had left your phone out on the kitchen counter while you got ready, something taehyung noticed when he stepping into the kitchen to fill Yeontans water bowl.

Your screen suddenly lit up with a text from kaito:

Kai: hey, still feeling sick? My sister made soup and if you want I can run by and drop some off. If it’s ok i might leave it at the door, i dont really care to run into taehyung.

Taehyung scrunched his nose, scoffing and moving closer to your phone. He was highly confused by the text, turning around and finishing his task.

“Im readyyy” you sung and hopped into the kitchen. Taehyung almost dropped the water bowl right onto the floor.

There you were, black tights , miniskirt, hair curled, all put together with red lipstick.

He swallowed hard, clearing his throat before speaking. “Well then.....”

“Do I look good?” You asked, looking down at your outfit.

“You look even more beautiful than you did in the store today” he looked at the bowl as he tried to speak nonchalantly, despite the fact his heart was racing.

How’s he supposed to suppress his feelings when you are standing there looking like THAT

“You look very handsome, Tae. You always do” you nodded, hoping he didn’t see the way your cheeks burned with blush.

You didn’t always get complimented, it wasn’t like you tried to fish for it either, but considering you have to pull a single “you look nice” out of your boyfriend when taehyung gives them for free is kind of ridiculous.

“Do I?” He teased

“Mhm” you smiled and brushed your hand through his hair quickly. “I like when you don’t use gel, the fluffy look is cute” you laughed and walked towards the door as taehyung put yeontan in his play gate.

He grinned to himself, knowing he will never use that gel again.

Once you two stepped out into the hall, he walked up to you and itched the back of his head.

“So, not to pry or anything, but your phone was left on the counter and I saw that um...kaito texted. He mentioned something about you being sick?”

Your eyes shot wide open, pulling your phone from your purse to look at the said message.

“If you weren’t feeling good you didn’t have to come” He shyly spoke, watching as you waved your hand at him.

“Tae, i lied” you smile, “I just wasn’t up for hanging out with him today.” You add.

“Oh....how come?”

You shrug, looking at him. “I don’t know.”

He looked down at his feet while you two made way towards the elevator. “Also, sorry that you saw him say that about you. He takes things super seriously” you scoff.

“It’s fine, It’s not my priority for him to like me” he spoke, pressing the button once you two stepped in. “Besides, Im the one who gets to hang with you today, so I win” he joked, allowing you to laugh softly and poke his arm.

It was nice to have some normalcy between you both, the past few weeks have been crazy and there’s been a lot of emotions, but it finally feels like things are getting back to the way they used to be.

“Ok so mom said her and dad would be right over here” he spoke as he looked at his phone, then looked up to the curb once you were outside. Your eyes peered around, there was no car yet.

“I guess we can just wait.” He put his phone away and looked around at the people on the street, something you began to join him in doing.

You both happened to catch someone dancing, making you both giggle. Your eyes then darted to an older couple crossing the street, arms linked sweetly. You nudged taes arm, grabbing his attention and whispering “look, it’s you and Annie in the future”

He immediately scoffed once he saw what you were referring to. “Ok I knew you were gonna make fun of me for that!” He whined and shyly walked away.

You began to laugh and ran up to him. “It’s not like that” he began. “Yet” you added on, watching him stop walking and turn to you.

“Ah i see...you are jealous.” He smirked.

“What?? No!! Im not j-...why would you-...what!” You stutter, watching him begin to say something before a car horn knocks you both out of the conversation.

“Hello!!” You see taehyungs mother waving her hand out the window, his father in the drivers seat as they pulled up to the curb. You bowed immediately once you got close, greeting them.

“Hello Mr and Mrs. Kim, it’s been a while, I missed you” you spoke sweetly,

“Ah y/n! It’s nice to see you again sweetheart” his mother kindly spoke

“Hi mom, dad.” Taehyung mumbled, his previously cocky state taking a more shy one.

“My son” his mom gripped his face and squished his cheeks. “Still chubby, good. You are finally eating more”

“Stop” he whispered, checking out of the corner of his eye to make sure you weren’t watching, glad you had been conversing with his father in that moment.

“Ok let’s go!” She cheered, ushering you both into the back seat before telling her husband what restaurant to go to.

they had initially wanted to come over so you could cook for them, but taehyung suggested a newer French restaurant nearby he swore they needed to try. You laughed at his obvious attempt to impress them.

The two of you squished together in the back seat, moving your body closer to the window as the air suddenly left the car. “You look lovely, y/n” taes father complimented. “Thank you Mr.Kim! You and your wife look very nice as well”

“How’s college, dear?” You turned your attention to his mom, who wasted no time digging into details about your life.

“Uhm it’s okay, lots of classes” you smile, watching her nod. “Still majoring in theatre?”

“Of course”

She clicked her tongue playfully, choosing to not make a comment against your choice of career...or lack of.

You silently praise the fact the drive to the restaurant was quick, allowing you time to climb out and avoid the conversation.

“This place is nice” you whisper to Tae, watching him nod. “We don’t belong here” you chuckled, making him laugh as well.

Taehyungs parents join arms before stepping in, Tae moving beside you to mimic their movement, making you blush lightly.

The waiter quickly checks your reservations and moves you to a relatively quiet room with a table by the window, just how you liked.

Once you had all sat and ordered your dishes, the room for conversations opened up.

“Your Hair is getting too long taehyung, why don’t you trim it” his father mentioned as he sipped his wine.

“Ah I know, i usually let y/n trim, but she’s been busy.” He teased, looking at you.

“Busy? With what? Certainly not a job” his mother mumbles as he takes her jacket off and sets it to the side.

“Mom...” he whispered, embarrassed for the way his Parents feel like they can talk about you as if you are their own child.

“Im just out and about, i have school and I’m with my boyfriend a lot” you spoke up

His moms head turned up as you talked, seeming suddenly interested.

“Boyfriend?” She laughed

“Mhm” you nodded

She turned to her husband and raised her eyebrows, both sharing a confused glance.

“What?” Taehyung asks, following their exchange

“Oh it’s nothing, we just...” she shrugged at her son, turning her attention back to you. “We had dinner with your parents a few days ago and we were discussing you both”

“Okay...” you half smiled, wondering what your own parents had said about you.

“And we just talked about like the pictures you guys post online...and we assumed, well, more like got the impression, that you two were together?” His mom admits.

You and taehyung both look blankly at them, silent staring before turning to eachother.

“It’s not a bad thing, your parents and us always said you would both end up together” his father laughed.

“Right, so Im suprised you are dating someone else” his mom inquired

“Starting the night off strong I see” you whispered to yourself, growing embarrassed at this conversation.

The older woman continued to ask questions. “Is it a serious relationship? Doesn’t he care you are living with another man?”

You took a sip of your water, clearing your throat. “Well...we’ve only been together for a little while, and yeah he does but not too muc-“

“It won’t last” his father cuts in casually, “young relationships like that come and go”

You didn’t know what else to do but nod and shove a piece of bread into your mouth.

His mother sighed and took a sip of her wine, “Ah your mother and father will be disappointed at the news” she laughed lightly.

“It’s not disappointing, you guys can’t just assume things” Tae added, stepping up for you as you drowned yourself in gluten.

“Well it is disappointing. We are getting older and you know, we don’t visit as much. I’m reaching the age where I’m ready to be a grandma” his mom adds, making you choke on your food.

“Are you ok?” His father asks, watching you chug your water more.

“Yup! So good! So ok!”

Taehyung seems embarrassed himself, you felt bad for him too. “Mom, y/n and I are just friends and we always have been, there is nothing like that in our future” he brushed off the pain in his chest as he defended you.

You looked at Tae for a moment before looking down and playing with your napkin.

“Sad” she responded, looking up as the waiter came over, delivering the food to each person.

“Thank you” you spoke, finally happy that your pasta had arrived. Tae laughed to himself, of course you’d get pasta at a French restaurant.

It remained quiet for the first few minutes while you all indulged in your meals.

Taehyung looked up from his plate, trying to find something to say.

“Hows everything for you guys? Everyone at home all good?” He asked softly, taking a sip of his Diet Coke.

His mother nodded, “everything is good, your father and I redid the kitchen, and we even cleared out the attic, turning it into a guest room”

“Oh that’s nice” he smiled.

“So you guys can come visit if you ever wanted to” his father added, making you smile.

“Yes that sounds fun” you replied “it’ll be hard to plan something with mr workaholic over here” you joke, nudging Tae.

“Speaking of that, how is work?” His father asks, taking a bite of his dish.

“It’s going well, I mostly work from home, but I’m doing extra hours next week so..” he nodded.

“Working from home? That must be nice, i dont see why you can’t take some college classes from home at least”

You sigh at the conversation once again taking another rude turn. You love the kims, but it’s impossible to talk to them.

“Actually, he is taking a college course” you smile, Turing to Tae to see a mortified expression.“What?” His mother perks up.

“He just did his first class today, it’s an art class, you know, painting and stuff” you smile sincerely. “Art....” his father snickers. You felt taehyungs leg kick against yours, obviously this wasn’t something he wanted to be said. You instantly regretted trying to make him look good the moment his mother commented.

“Ah taehyung you go through life thinking your doing good things but where will an art class get you huh? I worry about you so much...” she sighed and put her fork down.

“When will you take your life seriously? You are 23! I had a kid at your age and was married” She added on, taehyung now scraping his fork against a piece of meat as he avoided eye contact.

This is almost identical to the last time we had all met up, when Tae dropped the bomb of dropping out of college. You hoped this time would be better, but unfortunately, thanks to you, it is possibly even worse.

“It’s just for fun....” you mumble, turning your eyes to see Tae looking at his shoes, tears at the brim of his eyes while he has yet to speak.

“Thats the problem y/n, his whole life is fun, no work, no discipline. And I can’t say different for you.” His father spoke,

“I mean who goes to college and decides to do something as risky as theatre? Unless you plan on being an award winning actress it’s going to get you nowhere.” He sighed, “you two live in fantasy world”

“It’s time to grow up” his mother added, finishing her food.

You felt a hole in your stomach, it was guilt, pure guilt. You didn’t mean to ignite this, not here and not now, when we were supposed to be having fun.

Taehyung shook his head and laughed, taking your glass of wine and gulping it down in a few sips, his face scrunching up before standing and exiting outside. You watch as he goes, standing to grab the left behind jacket and phone. “You’re just going to leave?” His mother questioned, making you shrug. “This wasn’t how dinner was supposed to go, i apologize” you mumble, “we will meet up again before you guys head home, ok?” You add, chasing after taehyung.

You find him outside of the restaurant, sitting a few steps away on a staircase.

“Tae...”

You walk closer, standing in front of him.

“I thought you quit” you speak quietly, gesturing towards the cigarette in his mouth.

He doesn’t reply, rather simply glares at you before turning his head and exhailing the smoke. “Look Im sorry, I didn’t mean to expose anything, I feel awful” you reach to put your hand on his shoulder, he shudders and scooches away. “You have a way of making me look like a fool, y/n” he smiles, looking at the cars driving by.

You breathe, watching him articulate his thoughts. “You think I’m incapable of reading books you like” he began to list. “You think that my job is dumb, you think the art class is stupid.” He laughed to himself and shook his head. “You think I’m a complete loser and could never possibly understand what it takes to be smart or successful”

“Thats not fucking true taehyung, stop it” you mutter, feeling like you were slapped. “See, you are doing it right now. You feel like you need to tell me how to act, how to feel. You embarrass me and make me the fool” he began to wipe at his cheek, standing up and walking past you as he spoke.

“You and Kaito must have a blast making fun of how dumb I am” he smiled and exhaled more smoke, looking at you. “You are acting immature, it’s not funny” you spoke sternly. “Oh but it is funny, y/n, because I don’t care anymore. I don’t care about trying so hard to impress you, or being smart like you, or impressing my own parents” he stopped in his tracks as you glared at him.

“You focus on your little life, ok? Focus on college, focus on eventually graduating, focus on your friends, kaito, and hiding hickies because that’s what you do best apparently” he scoffed and put out his cigarette, grabbing the jacket from your hands and walking towards the direction of your apartment.

You are left in nothing but shock, once again, as he leaves you in a speechless position. You take back what you said earlier about you both returning to normalcy, because apparently you take one step forward and 20 fucking steps back with each day that passes. You couldn’t help but wipe the tears that fell from your eyes as you began to walk back to the apartment as well, taehyung now out of your vision completely.

Everything recently in your life has gone so down hill, and you can’t blame anyone else but yourself. Word of advice for anyone listening: don’t live with your best friend then decide to add benefits and grow super attached, break said situation while also pursuing a new relationship with someone else.

It will fuck you up.

A/N: whew.....

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @kthstrawberryshortcake-main

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