#i need to get to a level of casual srs
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Its been 4 days since SO and like heres my opinion:
- for not the best gamers/casual players the beginning will be a pain in the ass and become more fun with hacks later
- alternatively if you only do the easy levels on multiple runs because you suck it will get boring FAST, the issue of there being a set amount of levels is really noticeable if you only play easy levels
- did not remotely live up to the story/lore/atmosphere hype of the first trailer, i Understand the first trailer didn't even show any gameplay so as makes sense. but the art really gave such an edgy atmosphere and made people think of such more scary ideas that were not there, some art felt isolating to me, the theory of Splatoon 3 polution and nuclear waste???? Salmonid lore??? None of that was there.
- one of the most eery things are the audio files of some bosses, see here
- it's fun and sure not all splatoon story needs to have, much story or lore but it really was what I was looking forward to and what OE and ROtM did right to me. In ROtM the last extra entry felt like real pay off but the extra entries in SO? Didn't answer any of my burning questions, and if youre into Acht the way they misstranslated (I think it was atleast, maybe they just updated their lore) in the NA localization fucks up their character (also why are you pale)
-Agent 4 mention was so miniscule </3 had expectations for a bit more, maybe actual Feature
-pearlina is so canon and I nevr was a shipper of them it's just undeniable
Also I've got all the gear with prlz and all hacks I care for and the DLC has been out less than a week meanwhile I don't think I've ever even had 20 golden scales in all of SR. A few people are hoping chance of another story DLC and idk if I see that happening but I was also hoping for that at one point </3
Tl,dr: bit fun, wish it was more edgy with more lore
#splatoon 3#spoilers#SO spoilers#side order#side order spoilers#splatoon 3 side order#spoilers SO#spoilers side order
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Barty was innocent and his dad arrested him AU snippets
For @rosestarkiller-blog and other Barty obsessed people.
AU where Voldemort failed and creatures were stripped of rights. Convo between Barty & Remus-
B- When I was 19, my dad sent me to Azkaban.
Rm- *blinks*
B- And, look, it's not like your situation, I was a little shit, trying to make his life miserable. Got caught up with the wrong people.
B- I didn't actually do anything. Was in the wrong place. Got arrested.
B- *dark* The trial was a farce. He wouldn't let me even fucking talk. Mum just… sat there crying.
B- So. Yeh. Three years in Azkaban.
Rm- Fuck.
B- Heh. Yeah. Rosie waited for me. I couldn't fucking believe it - literally, dementors took so much, when I saw him after I got out, thought I was having a psychotic break.
B- He patched me up, held me together, helped me… helped me get my name cleared. Dad didn't even fucking look at me when it was proven he'd gotten it wrong.
B- So, like, I won't say I know what you're going through. I fuckin’ don't. But I do know about shitty dads who abuse a Ministry position to fuck you over.
muggle AU-
A few years after Sirius had run away, Barty had properly fallen in with a bad crowd, got dragged along on something when he was 19 and could be tried as an adult. His father tried to throw him in jail without a proper trial. By sheer miracle, some lawyer had a chip on his shoulder and offered to represent Barty pro bono. He got off with parole, but the public trial had wrecked his prospects and his mental health and it had taken a few years for him to pull himself together.
Reggie hadn't been able to support him nearly as well as he should have, stuck under his own parents’ thumb, and Barty still had a lot of emotional scars. It pissed Reggie off when his friend got dismissed so casually, which most people did. One look at his piercings and spiked collar and people wrote him off.
No voldemort, magical AU, not arrested but publicly disowned so similar:
Well- Regulus and Evan were wealthy. Barty had been summarily disowned by his father. Not “blasted off some tapestry and given a trust fund by his wealthy uncle” the way Sirius had been, but “Crouch Sr dragged his son to court and ensured Barty would never see a single knut or be able to use his connection with Crouch Sr in any way”.
It was unnecessary. A strongly written will would have sufficed in barring Barty from an inheritance, but apparently Crouch Sr felt the need to make a public display of his then-teenage son.
Thankfully it was a short process because Barty didn't put up a fight. One session with the Wizengamot. The newspapers got bored fairly quickly when Barty wouldn't give them the response they wanted.
There were about three months where Remus and Regulus practically lived at Evan and Barty’s to make sure he was okay. Which might have seemed unusual, except it was something the Marauders did for each other as well.
Muggle AU - reversal, Barty was guilty but his dad got it to an insanity plea. Mostly loose notes. I love them.
[Reg's roommate is barty, who got in a vicious fight at Eton and his dad managed to plead insanity and get him an inpatient stay instead of a criminal record
Evan had been an outpatient, never hit the level of needing to be kept locked up in the hospital for safety. Barty had snuck into one of his group therapy sessions and the two had just… latched onto each other. Evan had opened his mouth and Barty became obsessed and somehow they ended up rutting together in a disabled bathroom afterwards. Someone else could tell the story in a way that was romantic, some nonsense about love at first sight and soulmates, but neither of them cared for romance.
#harry potter fanfiction#evan x barty#barty crouch junior#barty crouch jr#bartemius crouch junior#bartemius crouch jr#rosekiller#WIP
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I'm also reading Sinostra chapter rn! We got one tiny moment with Ren but I thought it was cute how he actually seemed disappointed MC had to move on from Jabberwock. Kind of like a "life sucks but at least there's someone else suffering with me" way lol.
Not a huge fan of Ritsu yet but I wonder if he'll also join the Senpai gang after the chapter lol.
I have some feels about Haru's appearance this chapter but I don't want to spoil anything so I'll wait haha
Fr my SR Zenji on my first account is seriously saving my ass and letting me read story - my tactic is just beefing up my tanks to outlast the enemies. I also got Haru SR (also a tank) from the Ren banner but the game hates me and refuses to give me his matching Peekaboo card(I gave up on getting any SSR on this account).
But they seriously need to balance the gameplay more... Why is there like 20 different things you need to be concerned about to equip each unit?? Each unit needs a warding card, 3 equipment and 3 spirits, then each warding card needs 3 gems, materials to level up bravery, savagery, potency AND level... And then equipment from R rarity onwards need everything a warding card does.
Literally who decided this was a good idea??? Driving me insane!!
God the gameplay design is so bad in this game it hurts. I want to say it's meant to get you to spend money but there's like... no real point to spend money unless you want to pull cards. Leveling and gearing those cards is what's impossible!!! The menu design absolutely sucks too ahhhhh.
Haru getting blitzed and talking about how cool MC is and how much he appreciates her (╥﹏╥) he's so perfect. Not even touching on how he apparently does this regularly, Romeo too they're so silly. But Taiga and Haru do seem pretty close don't they? In a much more casual way than I had been picturing too... and is it just me or does Taiga seem like he might know more about MC than we think he does, he's just forgotten all of it?
I'm extra suspicious of Haku now... and it can't be a coincidence that the game wants to draw your attention to how more things than just the mesmer matches can erase your memories... many thoughts many thoughts
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Splatoon 3 patch notes for 3.0.0
Notable stuff is that they buffed Trizooka, Inkjet and Hammers damage to Crab, addition of "Pools" (uhm in the simplest terms, kind of like a server you can join (no comms) where you can just get invites to play modes/SR), and SR thingz
Notably, for Eggstra Work, you need a group of 2 or 4 to play, so no solo queue unfortunately. Though with pools, that doesn't seem to be a problem so that's good! Also, hazard level and job scenario is fixed for it, BUT if your team manages to exceed quota "by enough" (their words not mine), you can increase the hazard level for more eggs (increased bosses).
Another thing, Eggstra Work's top 5% high score is gonna be weird. What I mean is that compared to Big Run, not only is the fact that the rotation they pick is gonna impact how casuals feel for wanting to grind this event, but also factoring in that you need 2/4 players to play the mode. The best outcome is that the rot is shit and most people don't want to play it and that keeps the high score low 😁 (<- doesn't know math), the downside is that it's going to make me depressed grinding (hoping it isn't Marooner's for another major event).
Anyways those are my thoughts, uhm, I don't care much for it but also 🤖 when the jukebox comes and people load in Bang Bang Bing for the 20th time
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Handsome is....
So I have been thinking about this a lot but I didn't think it was necessary to elaborate too much on this cause frankly people who are intelligent don't need an explanation and those who need an explanation are too dumb to accept it. So its just wasted energy.
But yesterday my very good friend and me were discussing the same thing and surprisingly she (who by the way is not dumb at all and I love her) did not agree with me. Now it maybe her own biases but I felt like I should make a point.
So here comes my too long ted talk one more time..
I have seen too many HP artists' magnificent works since I joined the fandom and even before it. Now no doubt these people are way too talented for me to even think about crossing them and I say this with zero sarcasm and a hundred percent respect towards their imagination and artwork but I really do want to put forth a point.
You know what is the best part about everyone's description that Rowling has written in throughout the series?
Its that there is no adjective in anyone's looks coming close to 'handsome', 'pretty' and 'beautiful'. Of course with exceptions which I may have missed (I did read the works too long ago) and someone whose main characteristic goes with their physical looks. But it always has a very strong reasoning with regards to their personal traits.
Fleur Delacour :
Veela so physically attractive to the opposite sex
Sirius Black:
this guy's only saving grace is his good looks, 'haughty' beauty to portray a rich pureblood arrogant Casanova kind
Draco Malfoy:
again, 'haughty' good looks to give meaning to his arrogance and money (see a pattern?)
Lucius Malfoy:
nothing saying he looked handsome other than we can assume his son may have got those haughty good looks from him.
Narcissa Malfoy:
'nice' looking from direct paraphrasing (So Draco could have got that from his mother)
I am assuming all the Blacks bearing resemblance to each other may possess that same characteristic arrogant beauty which is kinda reasonable
Bill Weasley:
you know what I think? He was termed handsome for the sole purpose of showing the difference or more correctly the lack thereof after getting mauled by Greyback.
Cedric Diggory:
Excessively handsome.. thats just for Harry, Cho and Cedric triangle
Tom Riddle:
Come on, this a full on parallelism drawn from Lucifer, the Devil with stunning looks who fell from grace and turned to a monster from Hell..
Lily Evans:
Come on, there has to be another reason except achieving the unachievable to pursue her by Potter Sr. And of course to show the seemingly endless contrast between her and Severus. Though honestly I don't know how beautiful she was cause Petunia is said to be a horse faced woman (like they are siblings... one cant look like Aphrodite and the other like a gorgon unless their parents have been less than faithful.)
I think other than these characters no one has ever been termed directly as conventionally handsome, pretty or beautiful. But then I don't think anyone has also been coined as ugly or physically repulsive.
But then as a reader or artist one is completely free to imagine the character in any way they seem fit. That is all a game of perspective because then again beauty is subjective and highly individualistic. Never has societies rules of how beautiful or handsome one should look dictated what we think a person looks like.
But what I completely detest and find repulsive on a purely chemical level is when people come and casually comment on the artists pages or drawings is how could you make this and this character look so goddamn beautiful? (I am paraphrasing here from a quote I had come across many many times on three guesses? surprise surprise.. Snape arts).
And also because Snape happens to be my favourite HP character I have sadly faced this one times too many.
And honestly this has to stop.
It's embarrassing guys really!
Just stop.
Digressing from the subject of what handsome or beautiful is to the beholder, even in the original books majority of the characters have never been termed as beautiful as artists draw them.
You wanna see the evidence.
Harry Potter
Throughout the series, Harry is described as having his father's perpetually untidy black hair, his mother's bright green eyes, and a lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead. He is further described as "small and skinny for his age" with "a thin face" and "knobbly knees", and he wears Windsor glasses
Handsome?
Nope.
But do people draw him like he is some Greek God?
Yep.
And that's completely fine.
2. Ronald Weasley
Rowling introduces Ron as "tall, thin and gangling, with freckles, big hands and feet, and a long nose." Ron has the trademark red hair of the Weasleys and is indeed one of Harry's tallest schoolmates, even outgrowing some of his older brothers.
Handsome?
Nope.
But do people draw him like an American football star?
Yep.
Also completely fine.
wait.. long nose?
Have I ever seen any pic of Ron with a long nose? People love saying Snape's nose is like a vulture's beak but then my dear fellow readers why haven't I ever seen Ronald Weasley sporting an elephant's trunk?
Caricature and reality should be kept different.
3. Hermione Granger
"In the Harry Potter books, the brilliant Hermione Granger is described as having frizzy, untamable dark hair, brown eyes, and protruding teeth, but more often is defined by her intellect and devotion to her friends."
Don't even get me started.
Emma you are wonderful but sadly you aren't Hermione.
But wait, some people have drawn her like her book's description (very rarely though)
Not that I have any problem with the supermodel Hermione granger.
4. Remus Lupin
"Remus was described as having a pale face with premature lines, and light brown hair that, as he progressed through his thirties, became more and more grey. The lines on his face and his greying hair were the results of the great deal of stress his body underwent with each full moon."
Handsome much?
Nope nada noppity
But then all of Remus Lupin's pics show him like a tired chocolate boy pretty from the eighties even in his thirties.
Again, not that I have any problem.
5. James Potter
"James was a tall, thin man with hazel eyes and untidy black hair that stuck up at the back. During his Hogwarts years, he had an indefinable air of having been well cared for and even adored. As late as his fifth year, he started wearing glasses, though he had not in his first year."
Oh God.. guess I am doing this.
However much all of you want him to be, he isn't Alan Taylor Johnson folks.
Yet however much it pains me to admit, the truth is it really doesn't bother me. No, not even if I hate him as a character, artists and readers are welcome to imagine him like Narcissus (from the beauty aspect also not that he wasn't narcisstic..sorry I am getting carried away)
6. Bartemius Crouch Jr.
"In his youth, Barty was described as being a pale young man with straw-coloured hair and freckles."
If you find him beautiful then cheers to you genuinely, but neither he is described directly as handsome.
7.Luna Lovegood
"She had straggly, waist-length, dirty blonde hair, very pale eyebrows, and protuberant eyes that gave her a permanently surprised look."
Not at all the platinum blonde moonlike beauty people draw her like. She almost sounds a bit creepy to look at physically.
But like I said before she could look stunning in someone's mind's eye. Doesn't matter really. But the point is that her book's look isn't maintained everywhere (almost nowhere) so...
Etc etc etc....
So actually my point is that physical appearances in Harry Potter have almost always been factual, objective and with good reason. It all links to the plot. Everyone's appearance does. Thus spreading this absolutely meaningless and worthless hogwash about Snape being ugly cause he has sallow skin, hooked nose and oily hair is fundamentally stupid. (And I have never read him have a receding hairline.. is it mentioned anywhere in the books?)
So either all of the people in the books were rather plain and general looking or all of them had their own specific physical attractiveness which is distinct as seen by their fans, followers and admirers.
Justifying making a caricature out of one person in a drawing where everyone else looks like Roman Gods and Venetian Goddesses, based on their distinguishable features is not only bullshit on principle but also tiresome.
Haters honestly hate away.. can't take away your one source of entertainment but please do it on your own forums, posts and artwork. Make Snape look like some monster for all I care but targeting certain artists because they find him handsome is just disgusting.
So to finish my title for this post
..... is as one perceives them to be.
Phew! That was long.. but it was stewing in my brain for far too long.
PS :- This is with all respect to all the Harry Potter artists there. You people are phenomenal and I won't measure up to any of your talents, not by even one sixteenth.
PPS_1:- You know who else was tall, thin, sallow, dark haired and curved nosed? Viktor Krum (whom artists draw like the statues of Pagan Gods) and he actually has a curved nose. That is to emphasise that hooked and curved are different physically.
PPS_2: Fred and George are said to resemble Charlie more ie; on the shorter and stockier side. But then artists draw them as tall and thin like the actors so...
*all pic credits to their respective artists*
#harry potter fandom#severus snape#snape fandom#pro severus snape#harry potter#ronald weasley#hermionie granger#sirius black#remus lupin#narcissa malfoy#lucius malfoy#draco malfoy#bartemius crouch jr#bill weasley#fleur delacour#cedric diggory#hp artists#digital art#handsome is a matter of perspective#james potter#lily evans#hp meta#haters stay away#you people are too stupid for my tastes#luna lovegood#viktor krum#fred and george
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Never felt like this before, take my name and make it yours.
Chapter 1: Nothing to lose, turns right into you.
Summary:
“Glad I don’t have to think of ways to keep your dad from having me dishonorably discharged and putting me six feet under for not wanting to date his daughter.”
Claire smiled and shook her head fondly. “He means well, and I can’t say he has bad taste in men” she said as her eyes traveled up and down Bradley’s body playfully. “But he really isn't equipped with the skills to read people as well as he should be able to.”
“Oh? What is it that he’s not seeing that you can?” Bradley asked, genuinely curious and engaged in the conversation now that he wasn’t worried about offending Claire with his disinterest in pursuing her romantically.
“Well, for starters, if he was as observant as he likes to think he is, he wouldn’t have wasted his time trying to set you up with me. He would have thought about personally introducing you to Daniel... and then If he was really paying attention he would have realized he should be trying to set you up with Jake right now.” Claire replied far too casually for someone that just turned his entire world upside-down. “It’s clear he respects you and would welcome you into the family, he’s just going about it the completely wrong way. Obviously.”
(read on Ao3) (Read full chapter below)
Admiral Kazansky and Admiral Seresin had never gotten along.
Admiral Seresin has never understood why Kazansky put reputation on the line time and time again for Pete “Maverick” Mitchell and how, despite that, he ended up being promoted to Commander of the U.S. Pacific Fleet.
Despite his strong dislike towards Maverick and his disapproval of Iceman’s decision making whenever his other half was involved, Admiral Jacob Seresin Sr. had a great level of admiration and respect for Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw. He was a skilled aviator - with the potential to be one of the best of his generation. If you asked Admiral Seresin, he would tell you Bradshaw was taught to fly by Kazansky. He didn’t take unnecessary risks in the air. Never pushed anything further than regulation permitted. He was unflinchingly calm and precise. Maverick never would have taught him to fly like that. He’d bet his wings on it.
At times he wished own son, his youngest child, Jacob Seresin Jr, flew more like Bradshaw. Jake looked up to Maverick and it took a lot of effort and string pulling and calling in favors for Admiral Seresin to keep him as far away from Pete Mitchell as possible when he could manage it.
When Kazansky needs to put a squadron together for a mission that requires the best of the best that the Navy has to offer, Seresin knows his son will be a candidate. He knows he deserves to be.
He knows his long, valiant effort of keeping his son away from Maverick will have to come to an end when he learns that somehow, he’d been assigned to teach and evaluate the candidates. His son would never forgive him if he did anything that jeopardized that opportunity. Getting called to Top Gun wasn’t something that came along all that often.
So, he lets it happen. He learns that Bradshaw will be among the candidates and can’t help but wonder how the Mitchell-Kazansky-Bradshaw household handled that situation. Even if he didn’t like the idea of putting Bradshaw in danger, Kazansky would’ve known he had to set aside personal feelings and select the candidates with the skills and experience that had the highest likelihood of successfully executing whatever was required. Maverick would have to do the same and compartmentalize while teaching and making the final selections. He couldn’t even begin to guess how Bradshaw was feeling, whether he was worried about being chosen and all of the other pilots thinking there was an element of favoritism, or if he was worried that he wouldn’t get chosen because Maverick couldn’t bring himself to send the boy that was practically his son into a situation he was highly likely to not return from.
His son Jake had met Bradley a few times before. Had complained about his flying being too safe, about the man hesitating in the air. About how he seemed fine settling for being a great pilot instead of trying to be the best pilot. The Admiral had always hoped the two of them spending time together during various deployments over the years meant some of Bradshaw’s flying style would rub off on Jake. It was just his luck that putting the two of them together seemed to have the opposite effect. His son saw Bradshaw as competition; someone who was capable of keeping up with him in the air and pushing him beyond what he believed his limits were. Part of him hoped the nature of this mission that called them both to Top Gun would be different. That they’d be forced into working together and finding a rhythm that wasn’t purely competitively antagonistic. He knew better than to hold his breath.
Being an Admiral, he was privy to a decent amount of classified information. He knew enough about what had happened on The Mission to privately relieved Jake hadn’t been chosen to fly it. He wasn’t at all surprised when he learned his son had disobeyed direct orders to save the lives of Maverick and Lieutenant Bradshaw, chalking up his second confirmed kill in the process. It was the first time Admiral Seresin had ever been glad to see his son emulate Maverick’s instinctual ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ style of flying while in the air.
Jake had received one hell of a verbal lashing from Cyclone but escaped without any disciplinary action or marks against his service record. He was to receive a service medal with the rest of the squadron that had flown the mission. The Admiral had always been proud of his son, but he was certain he had never been prouder than watching Jake stand on that stage being recognized for his exceptional service. He found it difficult not to get outwardly emotional and was thankful to have his wife & Jake’s mother Anne there to squeeze his hand and anchor him. Their eldest and middle children Daniel and Claire were also in attendance. It was a moment he’d never forget.
Admiral Seresin managed to call in a few favors to have the medal ceremony in Texas to make sure they could share that moment as a family. When he told Anne about it, she insisted he invite the squadron and their families to the Seresin home afterwards for a barbecue. She loved inviting guests into their home, and she knew this was the best and possible only opportunity to have their full family and all of the members of that incredibly special squadron together under one roof.
Admiral Seresin had planned on finding a moment to personally introduce Lieutenant Bradshaw to his daughter Claire. No one would ever be good enough for her, but he felt that Bradley Bradshaw was a man he believed could be worthy of her.
He was happy to see they seemed to hit it off right away, sitting angled towards each other, speaking animatedly and in their own little world.
They didn’t spend the entire night at each other’s sides, but they did keep drifting back together throughout the night, easily conversation flowing between them. He took it as a good sign that maybe he hadn’t been so far off.
At one point he had glanced over at them in time to catch Claire gently grasping his bicep as he leaned down to let her whisper something in his ear. A bright smile broke out on his face as she spoke. She pulled back to look him in the eyes, smiling just as widely at his response.
They all started to call it a night around 11pm, breaking off into groups with designated drivers to head back to the hotel for the night, Anne making the members of the squadron all promise to stop by for a casual brunch the next day before they all went their separate ways for the month of leave they had all been granted. Both Claire and Anne pulled Bradshaw into hugs before he was allowed out of the house for the night.
The following day, Bradshaw, Trace, Floyd, Fitch and Garcia all showed up to the house together around 10:00am. Machado, who the Seresin family had become very familiar with over the years had stayed over the previous night. Machado was the only one the Admiral had seen in civilian clothing prior to that day. It made them all look like a giant weight had been lifted off their shoulders.
Anne gave them all hugs as they walked into the kitchen, Claire greeting Trace and Bradshaw with hugs and flashing bright smiles to the rest of the group. They all made themselves at home in the living room. Trace and Floyd sat on the loveseat; Trace’s legs stretched out with her feet in Floyd’s lap. Fitch, Garcia and Daniel were on another couch, leaving Claire, Jake, Machado and the Admiral in various chairs that had been brought in to create more seating. Bradley was noticeably absent, having immediately insisted on being allowed to help Anne in the kitchen as she continued to put the finishing touches on brunch.
It didn’t take long for Claire to politely excuse herself and make her way towards the kitchen. She came back out 20 minutes later to announce the food was ready and they all stood up to help set the table.
Admiral Seresin wouldn’t find out until much later that Claire had gone to the kitchen to get some real alone time with Bradley - meaning time with Bradley away from him.
Brunch was a lively affair, with several conversations happening from across the table simultaneously. The group had truly bonded, and the Admiral could tell these were going to be lifelong friendships. He was glad to see Jake had found a group he was finally willing to let himself open up to. There had been real smiles on his face all morning, the trademark “Hangman” grins and smirks were nowhere to be seen. He had let his guard down and was letting himself just be Jake. The Admiral would never be able to repay the squadron for that, but they were honorary members of the family for life now and that felt like a good place to start.
Jake was even getting along with Bradshaw. There hadn’t been any bickering since the medal ceremony, and they were sitting next to each other at the table while they all indulged in the abundance of food that had been prepared. The Admiral hadn’t seen them interact prior to that trip to Texas but he’d listened to Jake bitch and moan about the other man for years; something had shifted between them since they returned home from the mission. Having someone risk their life to save your own or being on the other side of it and making an active decision to save someone else’s tended to change things; in this instance, it seemed, the change was going to be for the better.
+
Bradley knew there was a reason Admiral Seresin had made sure to personally introduce him to his daughter Claire after the medal ceremony. He had only ever met Admiral Seresin once before that night at the Seresin house and was introduced to the rest of the family for the first time. He had quickly discovered that Mrs. Seresin and Claire were very easy to get along with. Claire was witty and had a sharp sense of humor, and an absolutely devastating, charming smile to go along with it. If he was anyone else, he would have been over the moon that the Admiral was not-so-subtly trying to make something happen there. He was flattered for a lot of reasons, and he knew he had to navigate the situation very carefully.
Bradley had never come out to anyone he served with. The only people he had told – had ever felt comfortable enough to tell - were Ice and Mav.
It wasn’t that he was ashamed of who he was. He had grown up in a home that encouraged him to be exactly who he was, and he found comfort in the fact that his family would accept him no matter what, even if nobody else did.
The Navy liked to believe they had made a lot of progress after DADT was gone but the truth was you still had to watch your back. There were plenty of men and women in positions of power that would find any reason they could do derail your career or at least make your days in service a living hell if they knew your sexuality or gender identity and didn’t “agree” with it.
Bradley didn’t necessarily have any ambitions about becoming an Admiral or rising the ranks before he retired, but he also didn’t want to make things unnecessarily difficult for himself if he could avoid it. He knew that he was highly respected by a lot of the brass who had a lot of power and until he found someone he wanted to settle down with, it wasn’t worth it to give them any reason to reconsider their positive regard toward him.
He hadn’t necessarily decided not to tell the Dagger Squadron or any of his wingmen throughout the years. It was just something that never really came up. His time spent with the Dagger Squadron was the closest he’d ever come to considering it. He had formed more of a bond with them in a short amount of time than he’d ever managed to with anyone he’d been assigned to fly with in his career at that point. He had a feeling that none of them would treat him any differently if they knew.
Bradley had his suspicions that a few of them were queer as well. He was fairly confident he had Phoenix, Bob and Fanboy figured out and that they would understand him. Hangman, Coyote and Payback he was less sure about and had written them off as straight but hadn’t ever observed any behavior from them that would lead Bradley to believe they were bigoted in any way.
Which was a giant pain in the ass for Bradley. He’d clearly been saving up all his luck and good fortune for the moment Hangman flew in at the literal last second and saved his and Mav’s life. If he had any left to spare, he would have found himself infatuated with Bob or Fanboy. Unfortunately, the moment he had met the youngest Seresin all those years ago, he knew he was in trouble. The man had caught his attention immediately. Bradley was actually mildly offended at how attractive he was. Nobody outside of Hollywood should have been allowed to walk around in public looking like that. It also didn’t help that the guy walked into any room like he owned the place. Confidence rolled off him in waves. He had a witty response to every quip thrown his way. His smile was flawless and just a bit too sharp around the edges to be sincere, but there was a mischievous glint in his eyes that was impossible not to be intrigued by.
And he was an absolute menace in the air. Bradley never stood a chance.
Bradley had never seen Hangman leave with any men or women after nights out, he’d never brought any significant others to any ceremonies and Bradley had only ever seen the Seresin family show up to see him off for deployments.
But the same could be said for himself, and for the rest of the Daggers. He was purely operating off assumptions, and it was difficult to solidify any of the conclusions he had drawn when the entire group was so comfortable around each other. They were all playfully flirty and casually physically affectionate to some level. There was a lot of teasing and banter, and he was normally pretty decent at reading people. Coyote and Payback were the least flirty with the other guys in the group but still played along. Phoenix, Bob, Fanboy and himself were clearly the most comfortable with it but he couldn’t say that Hangman didn’t give them all a run for their money. It just felt different somehow.
Hangman flirted like he had a damn degree in it. It was polished and perfect, and it shouldn’t have worked at all with how rehearsed it felt. He never let it get personal and it still seemed to work every single time. He never changed his approach based on who was on the receiving end of it.
Well, almost never. It had taken Bradley a while to notice it, but Hangman was different with him. He figured it had something to do with their rivalry in the air. They constantly argued and gave each other shit over flying styles and techniques. Hangman never let Bradley forget that he was too careful, that he hesitated at all the wrong moments. Bradley made sure to remind him that being the fastest didn’t always mean being the best and that being the best meant nothing if you weren’t willing to adapt your flying style to fit with your team.
So, their interactions weren’t as fun and flirty and casual as their interactions were with everyone else. It felt more personal; like there was more at stake somehow. Like if they weren’t careful their jabs could actually hurt each other. Bradley knew they had both crossed that line a few times.
It helped Bradley keep himself in check. It was better for his sanity that they didn’t have an easy, flirtatious relationship. There was a far greater risk of him slipping up and showing his hand if that had been the case. He had every intention of keeping his frustratingly non-platonic interest in Hangman to himself and he had done a damn good job of it up to that point.
After The Mission, things changed. Bradley felt the shift happen almost immediately. He hadn’t had any time to adjust or to fully process it. Nobody had said anything, but he was sure that with how perceptive everyone was, they had all noticed it too.
It became less personal. There were no snarky comments about his flying. It was the same, effortless, charming remarks he’d been using on everyone else for years, and for the first time since they’d met, Bradley was on the receiving end of it. It had rattled him in a way he hadn’t been prepared for.
He knew it wasn’t real. He had watched the man use the same lines with the same delivery for nearly a decade at that point, but it had opened a box in the corner of his mind that he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to force closed again. He let himself start to wonder what Hangman actually flirting with someone he was interested in looked like. The man was not afraid of a challenge. He sought them out whenever he could, and the amount of focus he channeled into getting what he wanted was really something to behold. Bradley couldn’t even begin to imagine how overwhelming it would feel to be on the receiving end of that kind of undivided attention. He imagined it had to be similar to a strong, unrelenting current pulling you underwater that no amount of struggling against it would free you from. He couldn’t convince himself he’d even try to fight it, more than happy to let himself drown if it meant knowing what it felt like to have Hangman – Jake – look at him like that. Just once.
After being introduced to Claire, she made sure to let him know she had him figured out immediately, once they had found a semi-secluded area to sit down and talk.
“Before this conversation goes any further Lieutenant Bradshaw, you and I both know this” she paused to gesture between the two of them, “isn’t going anywhere, right?”
Bradley couldn’t help but laugh, caught slightly off guard by her bluntness. Having spent as much time as he did around her brother, he shouldn’t have been surprised. “Glad I don’t have to think of ways to keep your dad from having me dishonorably discharged and putting me six feet under for not wanting to date his daughter.”
Claire smiled and shook her head fondly. “He means well, and I can’t say he has bad taste in men” she said as her eyes traveled up and down Bradley’s body playfully. ““But he really isn't equipped with the skills to read people as well as he should be able to.”
“Oh? What is it that he’s not seeing that you can?” Bradley asked, genuinely curious and engaged in the conversation now that he wasn’t worried about offending Claire with his disinterest in pursuing her romantically.
“Well, for starters, if he was as observant as he likes to think he is, he wouldn’t have wasted his time trying to set you up with me. He would have thought about personally introducing you to Daniel… and then If he was really paying attention he would have realized he should be trying to set you up with Jake right now.” Claire replied far too casually for someone that just turned his entire world upside-down. “It’s clear he respects you and would welcome you into the family, he’s just going about it the completely wrong way. Obviously.”
“Obviously?!” Bradley choked on nothing, stuttering as his brain bluescreened in a flood of panic. “I – Claire, what- “
“Bradley – Can I call you Bradley? – Calm down, it’s okay.” She replied calmly, reaching out to place a hand on his knee. “You look like your entire life just flashed before your eyes. It’s not a big deal.”
Bradley took a few deep breaths as he desperately tried to get his thoughts in order. “Claire, it’s a huge deal. I’ve never been out in the Navy. I’ve never said a word to anyone my entire career, outside of family.” He calmly explained. “I just met you, and you read me like an open goddamn book.” He groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I thought I had been so careful – so discreet. Now I’m starting to think everyone knows and just hasn’t said anything.”
“Knows about your sexuality or knows that you’re down tremendously bad for my younger brother?” Claire asked, not unkindly.
She was teasing him, but he could tell she was trying to ease the tension in his shoulders, not to make fun of him.
“Both? Either?” Bradley replied helplessly. “The first one I could live with. I’m not ashamed of who I am and if people already know and this is how my career has gone then I can’t really complain.” He said as he gestured to the ribbons and medals on his chest. “The second one… the second one would definitely be worse.”
Claire nodded in acknowledgement. “I know it’s not really my business, but can I ask why? I mean, I grew up with the idiot, I know he can be a lot to handle…”
Bradley snorted in amusement. “Him being a lot to handle isn’t the problem. For some stupid reason, I like that about him.” He couldn’t believe he was finally having this conversation with someone that wasn’t Mav or Ice and it was Jake’s sister of all people. “Like your father, I’d like to think I’m decent at reading people and I’ve just never… he’s never given me any reason to think it wasn’t a one-sided thing.” He said with a shrug.
“He’s never given you a reason to think he wasn’t straight, you mean.” Claire replied. It wasn’t a question.
“That’s always been a big part of it, yeah.” Bradley agreed. “I don’t have any aspirations of being an Admiral or a Commander or anything like that. I’m not afraid to put myself out there, but I need some sort of sign that there’s at least a mutual attraction. I don’t see the point in outing myself for someone who hasn’t given me any reason to believe they aren’t straight.”
Claire paused, a small furrow in her brow as she responded. “I can respect that. I hope you know that your secrets are safe with me. And for the record, I do think your friends may have already figured out your sexuality because you all seem very close… and I don’t think I can ease your mind when it comes to the second thing. It is possible I’ve noticed because we’re a close family and I pay attention, but if they have figured it out, it doesn’t seem like it bothers them.”
Bradley sighed. “To be fair, I don’t think I’m the only queer one in the Dagger squadron. We haven’t talked about it, obviously, but you’re right. We are close, especially after The Mission.”
“Alright, spill. I’m thinking … Phoenix and Fanboy are bi. Possibly Bob too, but I’m having a bit of a harder time getting a read on him” Claire replied.
Bradley leaned in a bit closer. “I think Bob might be gay, actually, but you could be right. We all flirt pretty openly with each other. Payback and Coyote aren’t quite as into most of the time, and when they are it’s more to indulge Hangma- your brother and his antics. That doesn’t necessarily mean anything though. Who fucking knows. We could all be queer and could’ve been talking about it with each other this whole time.”
“I’m sorry but that would be objectively hilarious. That would be the most predictable Navy bullshit ever. You know that, right?” Claire replied with a smirk.
“I hate how right you are about that.” Bradley replied. “I should probably just take one for the team and bring it up before we all go our separate ways for our leave. We’re supposed to be on assignment together after that, but who knows what’ll happen in the next month.”
“I know mom is basically forcing y’all to come over for brunch before y’all leave tomorrow. Maybe you could bring it up then?” Claire suggested. “At the very least I think it would make you feel better. It seems like you really care about these guys and I’m sure it would mean a lot to them to know you trust them that much.”
“I’ll think about it. See what the mood is like tomorrow.” Bradley replied.
“Now that we’ve cleared all that up, lets go grab a drink from the kitchen and you can tell me more about yourself.” Claire decided, standing and gently pulling him up by the wrist to follow her.
He was powerless to do anything other than what she asked at the point. Apparently, he just had a soft spot for the Seresin family. He was in so much more trouble than he could’ve possibly imagined.
+
The following morning, Nat, Bob, Mickey, Reuben and himself all crammed into one of the rental cars and made the way out to the Seresin home for brunch, as insisted upon by Anne or “Mama Seresin” as they had been instructed to call her if they weren’t comfortable being on a first name basis with the woman yet. It was a pleasant drive, everyone with a cup of coffee in their hands as they slowly allowed themselves to wake up, admiring the scenery as they drove by or quietly texting friends and family. Bradley had volunteered to drive as he figured he was the least exhausted and the grateful way they had all looked at him was all the thanks he needed.
Even though the car was void of any kind of conversation, driving gave him something to focus on and kept him from overthinking himself into a panic. He had meant what he said when he told Claire he would continue telling his squadron – his friends – the truth about his sexuality. He couldn’t bring himself to think they’d react badly but the idea of confirming what they probably already knew still made him nervous. Saying it out loud made it real in the part of his world that extended beyond his small, tight-knit family circle. If he went through with it, it was something he wouldn’t be able to take back.
After about 35 minutes of driving, they arrived at the house and Bradley parked off to the side of the driveway. He gently nudged Reuben awake, who had been lightly napping in the passenger seat, and the two of them exited the car and slowly brought Nat, Mickey and Bob back to the land of the living to join them.
Mama Seresin gave them all hugs as they walked into the kitchen, Claire greeting Nat and himself with hugs and bright smiles for the rest of the group. The group made themselves at home in the living room. Unsurprisingly Nat and Bob sat on the loveseat; Nat’s legs stretched out with her feet in Bob’s lap. The two had gotten very close in the short amount of time since Bob had been assigned as Nat’s back seater so it wasn’t an unfamiliar sight. Rueben, Mickey and the eldest Seresin brother, Daniel, were on another couch, leaving Claire, Jake, Javy, along with the Admiral in various chairs that had been brought in to create more seating.
As much as he wanted to spend time with his friends, Bradley had made his way to the kitchen, and immediately insisted on being allowed to help Mama Seresin in the kitchen as she continued to put the finishing touches on brunch.
He knew how much they all appreciated being invited into the Seresin home and being provided home cooked meals, the least he felt he could do was offer a helping hand if at all possible. He hadn’t thought about what it would be like to be alone in the kitchen with Jake and Claire’s mom, while her husband was trying to set him up with their daughter, while he was trying to pretend not to be infatuated with one of their sons. It was too late to back out of it now.
“You are a guest in this house Bradley Bradshaw. You do not have to be in here helpin’ me.” Anne assured, wiping her hands off on her apron.
“Yes ma’am, I’m aware of that, but this is the second day in a row you’ve welcomed us into your home with the offer of home cooked meals on top of that. It would be rude if at least one of us didn’t offer to help out, and trust me, you don’t want any of the others offering.” Bradley replied with a smile.
Anne laughed brightly, shaking her head. “You are quite the charmer. I can see why they like you so much.”
Bradley accepted the apron Anne held out to him before responding. “They, ma’am?”
“Oh, you stop that, Bradley. There’s no need for that kind of formality here. Anne or Mama Seresin. Take your pick.” She insisted with a kind smile and a look on her face that brokered no room for any arguments.
“If you insist, Anne.” Bradley replied. He knew most of the squad had opted to go with Mama Seresin, but he had his own personal hang ups that he still hadn’t gotten over when it came to using any variation of “mom” or “mama” in general. Maybe he’d be able to get past that at one point, but that day in the Seresin kitchen wasn’t going to be it. “What did you mean by ‘they’?”
“The family. It isn’t easy to get the stamp of approval from my husband, but you caught his eye quite a while ago. He has a lot of respect for you, and you earned it.” Anne explained. “From what I could see last night, you and Claire hit it off right away. Talked each other’s ears off practically all night.” She continued as she pulled a few items out of the fridge and handed them to him. “And Jake, of course. Your name has been brought up in this house since the day he met you. I felt like I had met you myself long before last night.”
Bradley cleared his throat as he felt a flush climbing up his neck and over his cheeks. “That’s – that’s quite a compliment. I’m not sure I know how to respond to that.” He replied. “I’ve had a lot of respect for the Admiral for a long time but obviously hadn’t had much of a chance to talk to him face-to-face until last night. I’m honored to know that he holds such a high opinion of me. Claire is a wonderful, terrifyingly clever woman. She reminds me a lot of Nat, so I’m not surprised we get along so well.”
Anne seemed amused by his response. “And Jake? I haven’t seen much of you two together but from what I’ve heard y’all are getting along a bit better than you did way back when.”
Bradley took a deep breath and fought against the urge to run a hand through his hair. At least he was helping prep the salad, so he had something to do with his hands. “I don’t know what he’s told you or what you’ve heard but things have definitely … shifted since we all got back from The Mission. I don’t really know how to explain it. I guess we were so competitive in the air and the rivalry we fell into just didn’t feel like it mattered after…”
Anne took pity on him and filled in the blank. “After he saved your life?”
Bradley swallowed thickly, keeping his gaze focused on the knife in his hand and the vegetables he was chopping. “Yeah. Even though I never actually hated him, we had put up this wall that was different from the friendships or work relationships we both had with everyone else. The moment I realized I wasn’t going to die – that he had put his life on the line for me, and for Mav – I knew I’d never be able to put that wall back up again but it’s the only way I’ve ever known how to interact with him.” Bradley admitted.
“I can’t begin to imagine what that feels like, after knowing someone for the better part of a decade, to have something like that happen and not know where y’all stand afterward.” Anne replied. “If it makes you feel any better, I think he’s struggling with it just as much as you are. It may not happen overnight, but it’ll all fall into place. You’ve just gotta give it some time. Which is easier said than done, I know.”
“She’s right, you know.” Bradley heard from over his shoulder and turned his head in time to see Claire walk into the kitchen. “Y’all will figure out what your new normal is. If you’re half as stubborn as Jake is, I have no doubt in my mind it’ll be sooner rather than later.”
Bradley flashed her a smile before he turned his attention back to the task at hand. “Come to help with the cooking?”
“Came to join in on the gossip.” She corrected with a wink. “Or to start it, if you two haven’t gotten there yet.”
Anne shoots Claire a look that Bradley doesn’t catch.
“You and I both know I would never hear the end of it if I started without you.” Anne replied.
“Am I going to regret putting myself in a position where you two can gang up on me and there’s nothing I can do about it? Because I feel like that’s what’s about to happen here.” Bradley asked, rhetorically.
“Probably.” Claire replied without hesitation. “But you and I are basically best friends now so you’re gonna have to get used to it. Might as well just accept it now.”
“Best friends, huh? What did I do to earn that title so quickly? It’s been like one day.” Bradley replied, lifting the cutting board and sliding the chopped vegetables into the salad bowl on the counter next to him.
Claire shrugged. “I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing a lot more of you around this house, and I don’t know about you, but I quite enjoyed our conversations last night.”
“I did too, I’m just worried it gave your dad the wrong idea.” Bradley replied with a grimace.
Anne laughed. “Oh lord, don’t tell me he’s trying to set y’all up?” She said, glancing between the two of them.
“Dad has good taste, at least. I’ll give him that much.” Claire confirmed.
“We do have to at least give him credit for that, yes.” Anne agreed. “You do seem like you are quite a catch Bradley.”
Bradley felt himself blushing for the second time that day and ducked his head to try and hide it.
“I must admit I was actually hoping your father was on to something this time.” Anne replied. “We’ll just have to make you an honorary Seresin then, unless there’s another member of the family we can marry you off to.” She said jokingly.
Bradley felt the blush on his face get worse as it crept down to his neck. He heard Claire snort and then try to turn it into a cough to mask the laughter. He could feel two sets of eyes burning into his head and he forced himself to look up.
He wasn’t sure what exactly Anne saw when she looked at him in that moment, but there was an understanding in her eyes that told him she knew. “Oh. Oh.” She gasped.
She walked toward him slowly, closing the gap between them with just a few steps. He forced himself to hold eye contact with her, as much as he wanted to look away. Anne didn’t say anything, just continued to look at him, studying his face. Without warning, she reached up and pulled him into a hug. Bradley felt his breath catch in his throat and he only hesitated briefly before letting his eyes fall closed and allowing himself to wrap his arms around her and return the hug.
She gently rubbed his back. She pulled back and put a hand on his cheek, making sure he was looking into her eyes before she spoke. “You will always have a home here in Texas.” She whispered. “I know Pete and Tom take good care of you, but if you ever need anything, I expect you to call me. You understand?”
Bradley was overwhelmed, to say the least. He knew he was going to fail to keep the emotion out of his voice as he replied. “Yes ma’am.” He whispered, his voice cracking slightly. He cleared his throat and corrected himself. “Thank you, Anne.”
Anne pulled back and removed her hand from his cheek before she glanced over at her daughter. “Claire, will you let everyone know brunch is ready? We could use some extra hands to get the table set.”
Claire nodded. “Of course. I’ll send them in. Might be a few minutes.” She replied, giving them a meaningful look.
Bradley was thankful he was going to have a bit of time to compose himself before the others came into the room.
+
Brunch was a lively affair, with several conversations happening from across the table simultaneously. It was obvious that the group had truly bonded, and Bradley was starting to believe this was the start of lifelong friendships, no matter where they ended up being deployed in the future. Bradley hadn’t realized how much he had ached for something like that in his life, and now that he had it, he was going to make damn sure he put in the necessary effort to keep those relationships in his life.
He wasn’t sure how, but he was convinced that Claire had something to do with the fact that he ended up sitting next to Jake when they had all settled down to eat. His suspicions were confirmed when he caught her eye from across the table and she winked at him.
“So, what do y’all have planned for your month of leave? Must feel like more time than you know what to do with.” Anne asked, glancing around the table as she spoke.
“I’m flying to Philly tomorrow morning to spend a few weeks with my family. The rest I’m sure I’ll figure out.” Nat replied, smiling softly. “I’m looking forward to not having any plans for the first time in a long time.”
“Amen to that.” Javy replied, reaching out for a fist-bump which Nat returned without hesitation. “I’ll be taking full advantage of this world-famous Seresin hospitality for a few more days. If I’m not home by the weekend my mom will fly out here and drag me to Baton Rouge herself.”
“Javy, you know we love you but if you keep your momma waiting that long, I’ll drag you to the airport myself.” Anne replied, shaking her head.
“What about you Bradshaw? I suspect Maverick and Ice don’t have a month of leave of their own.” The Admiral asked.
Bradley cleared his throat before responding. “Well sir, Maverick is supposed to have a month of leave, since he did the fly The Mission. He’s still technically recovering, probably should still be in the hospital, but it’ll be a miracle if we can keep him at home for more than a week, a week and a half tops.” Bradley replied. “Ice won’t have any time off as far as I know, but we’ll make it work. We always have.”
“So, you’re planning on spending your leave in California, then?” The Admiral asked.
“That’s correct, sir. They’re the only family I’ve got so it wouldn’t make much sense for me to go anywhere else.” Bradley was thrown off by the question but tried not to let it show on his face.
“Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten what Mama told you, Bradley.” Claire cut in.
“I’ll say it again if I have to darlin’, and I’m sure Claire will have no problem remindin’ you too. You all are honorary members of this family.” Anne said. “Now I’m not expecting to see everyone again during this month of leave, but I do expect to see each of you back here again soon.”
“Except for you, Bradley. You have to come back before your month of leave is up or I’ll never forgive you.” Claire added, a shit-eating grin on her face.
The Admiral looked delighted by the idea. Bradley wanted the ground beneath him to open up and swallow him whole.
“Wait a second, how am I the last to know that we’re apparently adopting Bradshaw into the family? When did this even happen?” Jake asked. Bradley would’ve laughed at the baffled look on the other man’s face if he wasn’t busy dying of embarrassment.
“You upset you weren’t consulted first? Pretty sure you would’ve been outnumbered anyway.” Claire replied, sticking her tongue out.
“You’re such a child. Aren’t you supposed to be older than me?” he retorted with a fond smile on his face.
It was a smile Bradley had only had the pleasure of seeing a handful of times in all the years he had known Jake. It was a devastating sight and he had to force himself to look away. He hated himself for it, but without the presence of the wall that had been between them pre-mission, he couldn’t trust himself. He was afraid if he stared just a second too long, he’d give himself away.
“Anyway, let us know what dates work for you and how long you want to stay and there’ll be a room set up for you.’ Claire said, looking away from her brother and over at Bradley.
Bradley knew this was a fight he wasn’t going to win and that whether he wanted to or not, he’d be spending some more time in Texas in the near future. “Yes ma’am.” Bradley replied, mock-saluting Claire as he spoke. She just laughed and he couldn’t help but smile.
The remainder of the conversation continued as the others talked about their plans for leave and what they were looking forward to the most about being home. Bradley was thankful to have the attention off him as he thought about the conversation he wanted to have with the Daggers once Anne and The Admiral gave them a few minutes alone.
That opportunity came about 20 minutes later when everyone at the table was convinced they couldn’t eat another bite of food if their lives depended on it and Claire hung back to help Anne clear the table and clean up. The two women insisted they all go out to the back patio and take advantage of the lounges and the shade. The Admiral excused himself to his office and the Daggers all made their way outside.
He watched Bob, Rueben and Mickey fall into a heap together on one of the lounges, while Javy, Nat and Jake sprawled out on the other one.
“You gonna join us, Bradshaw or are you just gonna stand there all day?” Javy teased, encouraging the rest of the group to jeer at him.
“I was thinking about it, but it doesn’t really look like there’s any room for me.” He replied, glancing pointedly between the two lounges.
Nat smiled and shifted closer to Javy, creating a laughably small amount of space between her and Jake. “Plenty of room for you right here stud.” She said, patting the spot with her hand.
Bradley took a deep breath, internally debating whether he wanted to do this standing in front of them like he was giving a speech or pressed up against Jake. They both sounded like terrible options, and he didn’t have an excuse to join the group on the other lounge instead.
“Flattery will get you everywhere, Nat.” He replied with a wink as he walked over to join them.
Javy sat pressed up against the back of the couch on one side, Jake mirroring him on the other. Nat sat up and shifted to give Bradley slightly more room to join them. He sat on the edge and let Nat direct him where she wanted him to go. He tried not to tense up when she guided him until his head was on Jake’s stomach. She then put her head on Javy’s chest and stretched out so her legs were resting on top of Bradley’s.
He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, trying to relax. Jake didn’t feel tense, didn’t seem affected at all by Bradley’s head using his torso as a pillow. Bradley wasn’t sure if that made him feel better or worse.
“There’s something I wanted to talk to you guys about but I – maybe it’s stupid, maybe you all know already.” Bradley paused, trying to keep himself from rambling. “But it feels important, after everything. Doesn’t make sense not to tell you guys at this point.”
He felt Nat shift, lifting her head from his chest to look up at him and resting her chin on her hand. “If it’s stupid, you know we’ll tell you it’s stupid and never let you forget it.” She said, looking at him like she knew his mind was racing. “But I have a feeling it’s not, and I’m never wrong, right boys?”
The various ‘boos’ and scoffs and jeering she got in response put him at ease and he smiled at her, hoping she understood how grateful he was for her in that moment.
“I guess I should start by saying I have Admiral Seresin to thank for this, and I should probably give Claire some credit because when she hears about this, she’ll disown me as her newly appointed best friend if I don’t.” He felt more than he heard Jake laugh. “Claire is easy to talk to, and has a great sense of humor, and is absolutely terrifying when she wants to be. And, don’t hit me Jake, but I do have eyes, so I know she’s beautiful.”
Nat snorted out a laugh and he heard amused chuckles from a few of the others.
“And while I was flattered by The Admiral making sure to personally introduce us, and we did hit it off right away, I spent most of last night trying to figure out how to break it to him that she wasn’t my type without ending up dishonorably discharged, six feet under somewhere, or both.” Bradley continued.
“I knew you didn’t have taste, Bradshaw. Those godawful Hawaiian shirts you constantly wear told us that a long time ago.” Jake replied. Bradley couldn’t see his face, but he could hear the amused tone of his voice that let Bradley know he wasn’t about to get punched for turning down Jake’s sister.
“I’d really like to say I’m surprised that you somehow gained the respect of Admiral Seresin without even really trying – and then on top of that, you get him to like you enough that he personally went out of his way to try and set you up with Claire. And you’re not even interested. But somehow that’s so you.” Javy replied, shaking his head.
“Gee thanks, Coyote.” Bradley replied flatly. “It’s not my fault, alright. My life would be a lot fucking easier if I could fall in love with Claire or someone like her and settle down but that’s just not in the cards for me.”
“Why not, man? I know we give you a lot of shit but don’t sell yourself short Rooster. You’re a good dude.” Mickey replied.
“Thanks man, I appreciate that.” Bradley replied. “If I had big career aspirations, I might be tempted to make something like that work for the sake of keeping up appearances. There have been a few women here and there that I’ve been into enough to have casual flings with but honestly, physical attraction is as far as that goes. I’ve only ever seriously dated or been in relationships with men.”
He felt Jake tense up beneath him but didn’t dare look up at his face. He kept his eyes locked with Nat, who was looking back at him like she was proud of him. She slowly reached out with the hand that wasn’t supporting her chin and grabbed the hand that was resting on his chest, tangling their fingers together. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze before she spoke. “The longest relationship I’ve ever been in was with a woman. I’ve been in love with men and women, but god nothing has ever come close to how she made me feel when we were together.”
Bradley felt himself start to tear up and squeezed her hand in return. “I don’t know why I was so nervous to tell you. I had a feeling you’d understand, and I still couldn’t bring myself to just say it.” He knew the others were listening, but in that moment, he needed Nat to understand what her support meant to him, whether they had an audience or not.
“I get it. As much as I love being in the Navy, it doesn’t really feel like a safe space a lot of the time to talk about that kind of stuff.” Nat replied, “Even around people you trust.”
“If we’re doing this, then I guess I should put it out there that I’m hella gay. So, you’ve got my full support Brad.” Mickey admitted, a bright smile on his face.
“I mean, I wouldn’t have phrased it like that, exactly… but the same goes for me. In both cases.” Bob chimed in, a kind smile on his face.
“I am embarrassingly straight, as Jake likes to remind me, but if anyone tries to mess with any of you about the fact that you’re not, you better believe I will throw hands.” Javy added. “No one messes with my friends, especially not about that.”
“I am also a card-carrying member of ‘embarrassingly straight’ club and I second everything Javy just said.” Rueben chimed in, reaching across the space between the lounges to fist-bump the other man.
“As happy as it would make my father if I was, I am not a card-carrying member of that club.” Jake offered. “He’s always been supportive of me, in his own way. He’s never made me feel like I should be ashamed of it or anything like that, but he also knows I have career advancement aspirations before I retire and has made it clear that it’s better if I keep my personal life separate.”
For the first time since he laid down, Bradley looked up at Jake. He found he was surprised by how open Jake was in that moment. His guard was down completely, and he was letting his friends in on something he clearly didn’t talk about often. He was also processing the fact that Jake was not straight like Bradley had always assumed he was. He didn’t know what to do with that information and decided to file it away for later. Laying on the man’s stomach was not the time or place to have a crisis about it.
Jake was looking over in the direction of the other lounge as he continued. “Not all of us grew up with Iceman and Maverick as our support system, but now that I’ve gotten to know them… I’ve started to believe it might be possible to have both. The long, successful Naval career and the idyllic white picket fence situation.”
Bradley couldn’t help but laugh. “They are disgustingly domestic sometimes, so you’re not too far off there.” He felt Jake laugh in response and the rest of the group joined in, while also groaning about not wanting to know that much information about their former team leader and the Commander’s love life.
Bradley felt lighter than he had in years and pulled Natasha in close when she laid back down, placing her head on his chest instead of Javy’s.
“Oh I see how it is, I’m not a good enough pillow all of a sudden?” Javy exclaimed.
Nat huffed out a laugh and rolled her eyes. She gave Bradley a kiss on the cheek before scooting back over to snuggle up close to Javy. He lifted his head slightly as he felt Jake shift underneath him.
“Sit up for a second.” Jake requested softly. Bradley did as he asked and took the opportunity to stretch his arms above his head. He heard shuffling and turned to see Jake had shifted to sit up a bit more than he had been. He nodded at Bradley, who took that as the signal to rejoin him. Jake patted his own chest with his hand.
Bradley shifted up as Jake lifted his arm to accommodate him. He laid his head down, unsure of which way he should face or how to position the rest of his body. Jake made the decision for him by wrapping his arm around Bradley shoulder and angling his body toward him rather than outwards towards Nat. In that position, the only place he could really place his arm was across Jake’s stomach. He didn’t have more than a few seconds to worry about it before eyes fluttered closed and he released a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding as a hand gently brushed through his hair.
The silence that fell over the group was comfortable and none of them felt the needs to fill it with anything. Bradley felt himself starting to drift off, the steady beat of Jake’s heart and the feeling of Nat pressed up against his side lulling him into a peaceful state of sleep.
He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he jolted awake, hushed conversation happening around him. He shifted to pull his phone out of his pocket and squinted at the screen. 1:17pm. He’d only been out for around 30 minutes meaning he probably wouldn’t end up regretting the nap later. There was one unread text from Ice and he swiped across the screen to open it.
Hope you’re having a good time with the rest of the Daggers. Just wanted to let you know we made it back home. Let us know when to pick you up from the airport. See you soon.
Bradley typed out a quick reply, letting Ice know he was glad they made it home and they he’d keep the updated on what time his flight was supposed to be landing later that night. Reluctantly, he was going to have to start convincing the group they’d need to head back to the hotel soon. All of their flights were going to different places and leaving at different times.
“I can hear you thinking from over here. Stop it.” Nat said, poking him in the side.
Bradley flinched slightly at the contact, batting her hand away. “As much as I’d love to not have to think about a single thing right now, someone here has to make sure we get back to the hotel because it’ll end up being my fault if any of you miss your flights.”
The chorus of groans he received in response made him laugh out loud.
“You’re such an old man, trying to get us to behave like responsible adults.” Mickey replied, making an exaggerated gaging noise to get his point across.
“Fuck off Fanboy, I’m not that much older than you guys.” Bradley replied, lifting his hand high enough so that the middle finger he was holding up could be seen from the other lounge.
“I mean, you are the only one of us here that’s over 30…” Javy replied with a grin.
He heard Nat choking on a laugh next to him.
“I’ve changed my mind. This whole group bonding session we’re having right now was a bad idea. I hate all of you.” Bradley replied, knowing he was fighting a losing battle.
Jake scoffed. “You wouldn’t last one day without us, and you know it Bradshaw.”
“I’m pretty sure you’ve got that backwards, Bagman.” Bradley replied. “None of you would last a day without me to drag your asses out of bed for training sessions before the sun is up or to remind you when you need to leave for the airport or to make greasy hangover breakfast none of you will admit you love even though you all get annoyed with me when I don’t make it.”
“Alright dad, you’ve made your point.” Nat replied. “Did absolutely nothing to help your case if you want us to stop calling you old man though.”
Bradley sighed, “Well, if it’s officially been decided that my youth is dead and buried, I guess it’s time for me to develop a ‘daddy’ kink. Find someone looking for an older man to teach them a thing or two.”
Loud groaning came from basically everyone and they all started talking over each other in their rush to heckle him.
“God dammit Rooster I did not need that image in my head…”
“I’m completely against kink shaming, but I may have to make an exception just for you dude.”
“Develop one? I call bullshit. No way that isn’t already a thing for you.”
“With those horrendous Hawaiian shirts and the whole pornstache thing being your trademark, why am I even surprised.”
“I am experiencing so much regret right now, remind me to never call you dad in any context ever again.”
Bradley’s cheeks were starting to hurt from how wide he had been smiling. Regretfully, he sat up and shuffled his way to the edge of the lounge. “Alright kids, I expect you all to be in the car and ready to head back to the hotel in 15.”
He stood, stretching his arms over his head and watched as the rest of the group slowly untangled themselves from one another and stood to join him.
Saying goodbye to the Seresin family was a lot more difficult than Bradley had expected it to be. Anne and Claire had welcomed him with open arms and within a matter of days had made their home feel like his home. No matter what happened in the future, the Seresin home would hold a special place in his heart for many reasons, but mainly the past hour the Daggers had spent bonding for the first time as friends. It hadn’t been a mandatory team building exercise they reluctantly participated in because their lives damn well depended on trusting each other. It was something they had chosen to do. It was something they wanted to do.
He owed Claire a lot for encouraging him to take that step. He supposed agreeing to spend a few more of his leave days in Texas was the least he could do, if that’s what she really wanted. Bradley couldn’t imagine why she would want that, but he had to admit it felt good to be not only accepted but embraced without hesitation. He didn’t have many friends outside of the military, mostly due to the hectic nature of his lifestyle that he had little to no control over for about 80% of the year. Even though Claire came from a military family, Bradley had a feeling she’d be more than happy to help him find some footing in the real world, if he asked; to actually feel grounded and comfortable in his own skin as a civilian.
He hoped a day would come when he wasn’t fucking terrified that the Admiral was going to banish him from the state of Texas, or the continental United States for not marrying his daughter, and could thank him for the introduction that, at the very least, had given him the gift of her friendship and a second place he could call home if he ever needed it.
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japanese update dec 2022
I tend to just vomit up walls of text on Discord about this stuff, especially since it doesn't really go anywhere usually and I just need to talk it out and set some things in order, but every once in a while I remember I have this Tumblr. i mostly use it for talking about anime and manga I guess, but there's no reason why it has to be that.
So, after two months of basically taking it easy in a sense and not tracking any of my study, I'm now getting kind of sick of that. I like having goals, seeing my progress in hours, and generally watching Number Go Up. It was nice to take a break, especially since I've been essentially tracking religiously since May 2020 or so, but I think that break is over and I'm ready to take things seriously again.
I know from my experience with French that maintenance of a language (at least for input skills, not output) becomes much easier the higher your level. I can still watch a French Youtube video (even sometimes at 1.25x speed every once in a while like I do in English -- I have recently been told I am a psychopath for doing this, but I know people do it for audiobooks and such), or read a book, even though I stopped immersing every day starting in March. I do want to get back into it again, with a book club reading L'elegance du herisson. Anyway, so basically my goal with Japanese is to kind of go at it seriously for a shorter period of time before tapering off, rather than being more casually immersed in it over a longer period of time. It just helps with my motivation. I tend to binge things and respond well to goal-oriented stuff.
So, because I'm a maniac, I basically went in to my old spreadsheet (stopped at Sep 30) and cross-checked with Learn Natively and Anilist to fill in an approximation of how much anime and manga I read. No idea about Youtube, but it's a good enough estimate. Apparently I've crossed 2 million characters, and 800 hours total (including study and immersion).
So where to go from here. Well I already decided this month I would focus on reducing my backlog, since I started like 10 different shows, and some of them are quite long. I also decided I would finish Pandora Hearts, which is a long-ish manga. I read the first volume last night, I liked it well enough but I don't know if I'm totally sold just yet, or at least not sold enough to binge it like I've done with some manga. I read half of Chainsaw Man in one day. I might push my way through it still, though.
So yeah, next year I want to be a little bit more intentional about working hard to improve my Japanese ability. I think just a bit of extra effort will be worth it for me. I don't think what I currently do is unsustainable -- I put in about a half an hour into study (kanji and vocab SRS), then just watch and read what I want to, and I'm still improving since I have so much more to learn. But I learned this with French, too. I was improving way more when I was actively challenging myself, and spending at least some time doing things that took a little bit of effort. Not so much that I wasn't having fun at all, but just that extra bit of effort was really good.
So in terms of my listening ability. I think I'll just stick with anime, honestly, for the time being. I do need stronger listening ability eventually, and for that I plan to go into movies or other scripted live-action content. But at the moment I still don't even really understand easier unscripted content like streams 100%, let alone most anime, because of my vocab limits. It's good to train general listening ability at the same time as vocab, but I think it might honestly burn me out unnecessarily to have to deal with films right now. I am not interested in dramas, they seem mostly to be in genres I don't find interesting, and it wouldn't be something I would normally watch. So for the moment, listening will not be my focus any more than it already is. I'm not setting any strict goals, but maybe I'll set an easy weekly minimum just to ensure I'm getting some listening practice as I put in the hours to improve my vocab and grammar through reading.
The lack of middle-level content that I find compelling is kind of an issue I have with my reading as well. Obviously, difficult ranges widely in a medium or even a genre. But generally, I'd expect manga to be pretty much the easiest thing you can read, followed by light novels and then finally novels. Within novels you can probably make a similar distinction to what we have in the anglosphere, between genre fiction and literary fiction. Not a perfect distinction, but again, talking in generalities. So if I wasn't such a stubborn person I'd try to work my way up from manga (which is 100% of what I read now, and I'm getting kind of okay at it at least with furigana) to light novels, the next easiest thing. But here's the thing. I really, really, do not like light novels. I find them boring and irritating. And I really do want to emphasize that I am being stubborn here. I'm sure I could find stuff that is at least enjoyable. But, I just want to jump directly to literature. I don't even think I particularly would care for genre fiction written for adults (if such a distinction exists and if that is even much of a genre different from light novels, which seem more like what we'd call YA).
So here's my dilemma. I said I would put more effort into doing things that aren't necessarily what I love to do, in the name of improving. But I don't think I can overcome the intermediate plateau by suitably "leveling up" to intermediate level difficulty content (as opposed to the easier stuff I immerse with now, kids' anime and shoujo/shounen manga) since I just don't find it interesting. I'm not even in the intermediate plateau yet but of course since I'm incredibly neurotic I'm already worrying about this.
So here's my solution. Next year, or whenever I finish Pandora hearts, I'm going to set a very minimal goal of pushing myself 30 minutes a day with actually challenging content. I might work up through difficulty levels on Natively, and just force myself through a couple of light novels if I feel in the mood to do so. Or, I might just dive into literature and push through it. I've looked into literary prizes which might be a good start for contemporary literature, which I'd imagine is easier than classical stuff or even older stuff for kids (I tried reading Night on the Galactic Railroad once, by the way -- way too hard at the time). I also follow a French Youtuber who reads a lot of Asian literature and might be a good place to look for recommendations. A few days ago I looked at the Japanese Wikipedia pages and skimmed some synopses, and I found some that actually sounded interesting and like something I would actually read, moreso than pretty much any light novel I've found. And I could actually understand these synopses, sometimes. So I think that's where I'll go next.
So in conclusion, I won't be changing anything drastically this year most likely. I'm still kind of focusing on life stuff, too. But starting the end of this year or perhaps 2023, I'll try to seriously improve my reading ability, and as a result I imagine I'll be bumping up my SRS to something like 10 vocab cards a day.
800 hours is nothing to sneeze at. I feel like I've made a lot of progress. But it's still the beginning. I want to seriously get to a level where pretty much any normal anime/manga (which is most of what I expect to be using Japanese for) is comprehensible at like a 99% vocab coverage level. That'll take some effort, but it's doable. It just requires me to either keep at this the way I am for years (like...3+ years maybe, just a wild estimate), or really put in the work to always be immersing with harder and harder material and look things up more often like I did with French (in which case I might be at least at a N1 level at the two year mark). I feel ready to commit to the latter, at least where I'm at now.
Really, I truly believe that after a certain point (which I'm past) language learning is all about how many hours of immersion you get. At least, for me. I can do some skill building here and there, maybe brush up on grammar but there's a limit to how effective that can be. Every time I look into that stuff I'm disappointed at how shallow the pool of language in learner resources is compared to what I care about, which is the pool of language that people use to communicate -- and that includes slang, in-jokes, memes, cultural background, history, and tons of other stuff that comes up naturally in natural communication but rarely in artificial communication. So, in terms of hours, where do I want to be in a month? In a year? Well, I'm not going to count the SRS time because that's not a goal -- it's not like I'm willing to put in any more or less than 30 minutes a day, so it makes no sense to make goals around it. Right now, I have ~575 hours of immersion (just an estimate). I can probably get that to around 650 by the end of the year. So I think around 1500 hours (about 140 minutes a day) or even 1750 hours (3 hours a day) are not too unreasonable goals for 2023. And maybe if I'm still feeling up to it, I'll continue to commit seriously in 2024. But at this point, there's no point in theorycrafting so far ahead.
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me bitching about someones terrible godawful need-to-use-bleach-after-reading opinions under the cut but its about bf!sh so mentions of s4 and r4p3 and shit if for some reason you open it i juST CANT KEEP MY THOUGHTS BOTTLED UP
also spoilers
EO was definitely the reason for ALs death i will agree with that /srs but he wasnt "egotistical" he was stupid and ignorant. it was evident EO felt bad that AL had to save his ass; he mentioned it several times. EO felt an obligation to stay with AL because he was older and wanted to save him, yep. half of the fucking time EO got in trouble it was coincidental and plot-driven, not inherently because of himself.
yea EO hit him awake. why it doesnt matter? because it Was EO. theyre fucking kids. theyre gonna do shit like that. i honestly didnt get the pubes thing, but it Was AL who made a joke about it first so- and yes. it Was fun. they were teens having fun on halloween. if this person Genuinely thinks AL wouldve lost his shit to some fucking pumpkins, they are so stupid. EO and AL are later seen casually talking in the same setting anyways so obviously AL got over it and was able to enjoy himself. it was all a bit of teasing.
oHHH boy. guilt trip. lol. they talked about it, they argued about it, but as far as im concerned, none of it was guilt tripping. if im not mistaken, EO says basically the Exact Opposite but i would have to rewatch that episode. other characters say so much worse to AL about shorters death than EO ever couldve.
if im not mistaken, that was the episode where ib3 and m4x kinda used AL to talk to EO about going back to japan. while AL undoubtedly wanted EO to be safe and was brutally honest, that scene is followed up by AL taking a shot because he literally couldnt handle saying something like that to EO. EO may not have known what to do, or was afraid to approach AL when he was crying. AL always went to EO when he cried. EO never went to AL when AL was crying if im not mistaken. obviously he acknowledged it. it hurt him. i wouldnt say he flat out ignored it.
i dont remember the "weak girl" comment or anything of the likes but whatever. in that scene, i think EO was being ignorant. i couldnt really tell if he was joking or not, but i dont think he was entirely serious. i really dont remember the scene very well either. my argument is weak here, i acknowledge that.
in episode 7 (?) AL kissed EO and tapped his butt but wheres the uproar? idek what thats on about lol. AND OH BOY THE COMMENT ABOUT FOX IS WHY IM HERE. ladies and gents, we got em. yes, because EO coming to AL however long after he was assaulted and hugging his Very Obviously shaking figure was him ignoring AL. EO complete brushed off fox r4p!ng him when he got physically on ALs level and comforted him in the way no one else had. ffs, j3ssic4 didnt even try to comfort AL even tho she was r4p3d as well. but no. the very impactful and popular scene of AL hitting whatshisfaces hand when he tries to reassure him only to sit down, space out, and be held like he had never been held before was in no way EO comforting AL after he was assaulted. i cant believe this dumbass said that. we liTERALLY DIDNT WATCH THE SAME ANIMEHDJDBEJ
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Wednesday was a good day for summoning. c:
Twisted Wonderland:
First, I had enough paid gems left to do the GSSR they suddenly dropped on us. Unfortunately I did not get Kalim, or even anyone new, buuuut I got Riddle and Azul, both of whom would be in the top three of who I’d pick if I had to get a dupe. I also finally got Riddle’s Ceremonial Robes SR, which was a very nice bonus. Not one, but two SSRs, plus an SR I’d been wanting, for 60 gems is more than okay by me.
Then I rolled the two multis I’d planned to do for Fairy Gala. My target being Jamil, of course. I didn’t get as many copies as I’d hoped (only two), but eh, I’ll just uncap him the rest of the way with perfumes eventually, it’s fine.
The game crashed just after I clicked the summon button on the second multi. I logged back in and went to check my cards, hoping it hadn’t just eaten my keys without giving me anything.
Aaaaand there on the screen, sitting casually at the end of the row, was Leona. My immediate reaction was to laugh, because of course he came. (For some reason my SSR luck is frequently pretty great as long as they aren’t my primary goal. When they are…well, I just hope that Starry Clothes Deuce will be the one to break my all-the-way-to-pity-every-time streak. -_-; Please?)
*Ahem* Anyway, I’d been low-key hoping Leona would come, too, so I’m super happy about it. He’s not one of my favorites, but his Fairy Gala card is so damn pretty and watching him get roasted in the event story for his bad posture is doing more to endear him to me than everything else I’ve ever read for him. X’DDD
I also got Riddle’s Labwear SR, which is another one I didn’t have and wanted, so that’s great. It was a rather Riddle-y day, I guess. ♡
(I just wish it didn’t take so long to level cards in this game. ;-; Especially because you also need to do a fuckton of alchemy lessons for spellbooks, so you can’t just run history/flying lessons all the time. I have soooo many cards to raise but I want to level their spells, too…I wish the lessons had separate LP gauges…)
Fate/Grand Order:
I then went over to FGO JP, which just dropped a new story chapter and, of course, new servants to go with it. I really wanted Charlemagne. I haven’t even played Extella Link, but I always thought he looked cool and people seemed really eager for him to come to FGO someday. So I wanted him. But I didn’t want to spend everything because there’ll 100% be a second banner next week and I might want to roll there, too.
But it’s a new month, so that means new summon tickets in the shop! So I told myself I’d use just those five tickets for now, and if I didn’t get him, I’d wait until next week, then decide who I wanted more.
The first four tickets got me a parade of 3* CEs (i.e. nothing).
The last ticket was Charlie. ♡
#azurerambles#Cut because I always feel awkward talking about stuff like this here#I've toyed with the idea of making a sideblog but I have yet to commit#Anyway I had a pretty bad few days and this happened just as I was finally pulling myself out of it#and I've been spontaneously breaking into smiles ever since#so I just felt like talking about it
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Reading AFfC and Robert Arryn is such a sad, lonely and tragic character. He joins the other sad, lonely children like Shireen Baratheon. And yet Robert’s situation is so much worse than Shireen’s and he has no genuine support system.
From the descriptions in the text it sounds like Sweetrobin is an epileptic and is having stress induced seizures. There also seems to be other health issues as he’s described as small and painfully thin with splotchy skin.
I remember discussions on other forums and the casual ableism, where people would attribute his illness to being an annoying brat and how if he had been fostered by a strong, strict man like Stannis instead of Lysa he would have turned out better. As if taking away a sick child from his mother is how a debilitating illness is cured.
Some folks also try to portray Sweetrobin as some kind of pervert for wanting to suckle, when it seems that Lysa used it to calm him down and that’s why he’s seeking it out when he gets upset. Like when his mother’s ‘murderer’ - Marillion - is singing. Sweetrobin is using it as a coping mechanism to reduce his levels of stress. The kid needs therapy.
Doing a reread and I can’t but help feel sorry for this little kid with no real family who loves him, is truly concerned for his well being or is looking out for his best interests. The one person he feels affection for and reaches towards for love and support is more or less using him even if she is kinder about it than Littlefinger.
The Lord of the Eyrie had been crying again. His eyes were red and raw, his lashes crusty, his nose swollen and runny. A trail of snot glistened underneath one nostril, and his lower lip was bloody where he’d bitten it. Lord Nestor must not see him like this, Sansa thought, despairing. “Gretchel, fetch me the washbasin.” She took the boy by the hand and drew him to the bed. “Did my Sweetrobin sleep well last night?”
“No.” He sniffed. “I never slept one bit, Alayne. He was singing again, and
my door was locked. I called for them to let me out, but no one ever came. Someone locked me in my room.” - Sansa, AFfC
Imagine being this sick little kid locked into his room and no one to comfort him and stop him from hurting himself.
What’s even more sad is that from Sansa’s POV we see that her very first thought when she sees that he’s bitten his lip bloody is how this would affect his appearance before Lord Nestor.
His eyes were red and raw, his lashes crusty, his nose swollen and runny.
A trail of snot glistened underneath one nostril, and his lower lip was bloody where he’d bitten it. Lord Nestor must not see him like this, Sansa thought, despairing. - Sansa, AFfC
Her intentions, whether it is being gentle when cleaning his face or giving him high levels of Sweetsleep is about the impression he makes with the Vale Lords like Nestor rather than because of any personal concern for his well being.
Like when the Maester wants to give SR milk of poppy instead of the more dangerous Sweetsleep and Sansa refuses because once again, appearances are more important than SR’s health.
“Good. That is good.” His chain clinked softly as he bobbed his head, atop a ridiculously long and skinny neck. “This descent… my lady, it might be safest if I mixed his lordship some milk of the poppy. Mya Stone could lash him over the back of her most surefooted mule whilst he slumbered.”
“The Lord of the Eyrie cannot descend from his mountain tied up like a sack of barleycorn.” Of that Alayne was certain. They dare not let the full extent of Robert’s frailty and cowardice become too widely known, her father had warned her. I wish he were here. He would know what to do. - Alayne, AFfC
Notice how Sansa equates his stress induced seizures to cowardice? Classic Sansa!
And again, the maester is trying to help SweetRobin by keeping him away from stress. More stress, means more shaking and seizures, which means more Sweetsleep, which is again sucking away at the child’s already fragile health. The Maester tries to make Sansa understand this, but she refuses to see beyond LF’s plans.
I try, my lady, yet his fits grow ever more violent, and his blood is so thin I dare not leech him any more. Sweetsleep… you are certain he was not bleeding from the nose?”
“He was sniffling,” Alayne admitted, “but I saw no blood.”
“I must speak to the Lord Protector. This feast… is that wise, I wonder, after the strain of the descent?”
“It will not be a large feast,” she assured him. “No more than forty guests. Lord Nestor and his household, the Knight of the Gate, a few lesser lords and their retainers…”
“Lord Robert mislikes strangers, you know that, and there will be drinking, noise… music. Music frightens him
“Music soothes him,” she corrected, “the high harp especially. It’s singing he can’t abide, since Marillion killed his mother.” Alayne had told the lie so many times that she remembered it that way more oft than not; the other seemed no more than a bad dream that sometimes troubled her sleep. “Lord Nestor will have no singers at the feast, only flutes and fiddles for the dancing.” What would she do when the music began to play? It was a vexing question, to which her heart and head gave different answers. Sansa loved to dance, but Alayne… “Just give him a cup of the sweetmilk before we go, and another at the feast, and there should be no trouble.” - Alayne, AFfC
What the Maester is trying to do is lessen Sweetrobin’s exposure to stress.
Stress and Epilepsy
The parts of the brain which regulate the stress response are also often involved in epilepsy. So it’s not difficult to imagine how stress could play a role in triggering seizures, or the development of epilepsy.
Sansa meanwhile is more concerned about dancing at the feast and whether she should give it a try as Alayne, while the Maester is trying to impress upon her the danger of the drug to SR’s health. Sansa doesn’t care because a)
“Maester Colemon cares only for the boy, though. Father and I have larger concerns” - Alayne, AFfC
and b) she does not think it’s that important as usual. She does not care to understand the importance of what he is telling her. It’s the feast and the dancing that is taking precedence in her mind.
Poor Sweetrobin. I am glad that for now at least Maester Coleman is in his corner. I do think SR realizes that he is being used by the likes of Littlefinger and that Harry the Heir needs him to die. Sweetrobin is just another kid in a long list of LF’s victims.
And I think this story maybe heading towards the Vale lords and the Vale army trying to support, protect and defend Jon Aryyn’s son paralleling the ‘North Remembers’ plot up North. As much as people are focused on the Northern plot with the Boltons squatting in WF, the same is true of the Vale with a possible plot in progress to replace Sweetrobin.
There’s just so much ableism and erasure of Sweetrobin in this fandom. Sweetrobin is the Lord of the Eyrie. The Vale is his, not Sansa’s. The Vale army owes it’s allegiance to him, not Sansa. Littlefinger is the equivalent of Roose Bolton in the North, using Sweetrobin to gain the Vale. BOTH Jeyne Poole and Sweetrobin are Littlefinger’s victims.
That Sweetrobin gets so little sympathy in this fandom is very telling. Sansa gets more sympathy for pushing the Maester to give Sweetrobin dangerous doses of Sweetsleep than SweetRobin does for being a disabled, frail little child being drugged and manipulated and not being told the truth. Yes, Lysa did a terrible job with him and he’s spoiled and whiny - but he’s in 8 in AFfC. Younger than Bran. I have seen people not caring about the poisoning and the ableism he is subjected to just because he is spoiled and therefore deserves to be punished. Like it’s no big deal if he gets killed off because it’s Sansa’s story. That it’s okay if he’s a casualty of LF’s plans if it leads to Sansa finally realizing what was happening.
Sweetrobin deserves to be more than just a footnote in Sansa’s story. I hope he gets a win and is able to live a better life as Lord of Eyrie, defender of the Vale and Warden of the East.
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Giann brainrot but hear me out
What if Giann was like really good at music? Maybe at playing an instrument (like the guitar, which Marius couldn’t bring himself to play because it reminded him of his mom) or singing or both idk.
Mama Von Hagen was very talented in both music and arts (this is canon), so what if each son took something from her??? Besides from Giann being (also canonly) more similar in personality to Ms Von Hagen while Marius is (in Austin’s words) “colder(!)” just as him
(Random long commentary because I listened to a nostalgic song and decided it was Von Hagen bros angst hour)
HELLO, I LOVE THISSSSS!!!! i need to know tho, where is that latter detail in canon about austin saying marius is colder omg, i havent seen it before and i Must know!
that aside tho, YESSSS, GIANN GOOD AT MUSIC. that is hugebrained idea, esp since canon doesnt really give us anything more on his character aside from "really great CEO during his term" and "marius loves him to BITS" and "protective shithead, i am always thinking about that flashback scene in SSR Will Of The Trees". so this hc adds nice flavor to the free real estate that is giann von hagen
i now like to think that giann deffo took up guitar. not as a “serious” venture but he just picked it up in his teens and got pretty good at it casually. and while hes no concert level vocalist, he sounds really great whenever he and marius went for a dumb karaoke hangout whereas marius just misses EVERY BEAT, GOES OFF EVERY KEY, it’s a genuinely fun time for both of em since karaoke isnt about sounding good, more just yelling into a microphone for the Vibes Of It All
another reason why i love this is cuz marius is shit at anything musical, canonically. twice now in current global cards (SR Overture, little scene in SSR In The Darkness) and here and there in official art (that one beach chibi? marius playing the guitar and the notes are viSIBLY SHAKY LMAOOOOOO), this dude cannot do anything musical
but he keeps trying anyway.
at first, i chalked it up to marius' tendency to dive headfirst into anything, even stuff he isnt good at, because effort and intention matters!! which i still think is true but i got another layer added when i remembered SR Twilight Beauty. theres this bit in there where marius is trying to understand his mom's musical compositions, trying to Truly Grasp how it felt like creating that music in the moment, trying to see how or what she was thinking when she had created her music
phrased a different way: marius does not understand music, but he tries to in order to understand someone who is no longer here
mama von hagen passed away shortly after marius’ birth, but i figure austin had told marius a bunch about her. her personality, what she loved to do, and maybe a hummed lullaby she’d always hum to put marius to sleep. marius cant remember melody of that lullaby coming from his mother herself, he was too young. so he just hums it himself based on how his dad told him it sounded like, going through the tune over and over again as a way to connect with someone he never got to truly meet.
art is a lot about communication, and marius, of all people, would know that. i feel like trying to understand a person’s art to understand the person themselves is an avenue he’d gravitate to. he didnt get to meet his mother, but he can try to connect with her through what she left behind.
but shes not the only one whos gone now too
so marius often has a bunch of songs stuck in his head, and theyre not songs hes personally into. theyre giann’s go-to songs back in their dumb karaoke hangouts. marius will idly find himself humming them while working or painting and he doesnt let himself forget these tunes or the melody of the lullaby from his mom. because even if he hums off tune and cant manage to do anything musical one bit, music is a language his mom and giann used.
for his mom, keeping her music in his mind is a calming way to stay connected to her even if he never got to meet her.
for giann, memories of his singing is something that grounds marius in reality so that he doesnt ever give up on finding giann and bringing him back.
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This is a lore question and a slightly specific one. Cater as a character and otherwise is super interesting to me but at the same time insanely confusing. While at first I thought he would end up having maybe slightly abusive family there's a possibility that's not the case. His sister's seem to enjoy dolling him up and his mother seems to go along with it and his father's a bit more absent. I think I would mainly like to know what his true self is truly reflecting and also if Trey seems to know about this 'true version'. Don't feel pressured to anwser this if you can't btw ❣️
Cater fans come get yall’s food.
S, iideally I’d go through events Cater’s prominent in (Beans Day, Halloween), but that would just make this whole post longer. So I’ll be using Cater’s card stories for now. What we know about Cater, on the surface level, is that he comes across as happy-go-lucky, energetic, social, trendy, superficial, flaky, and insensitive at times. But that’s Cater on a surface level.
So for Cater, his major issues from his background are:
his family frequently moving to accommodate his father’s occupation as a banker
his sisters dragging him into their own interests that he was expected to accommodate as well
Cater repeatedly states he disliked getting dragged around by his sisters and having cutesy stuff he wasn’t genuinely interested in shoved into his face. This would even happen on his birthday, where his sisters got him things they’re more likely to enjoy, which made Cater feel frustrated since he was supposed to be the focus on his own birthday. But despite that annoyance, Cater understands his sisters didn’t really mean any harm. From the sounds of it, they liked hanging out with Cater, and assumed that Cater enjoyed how they spent time together as well since Cater preferred to go with the flow, rather than rock the boat.
In his Bday SSR, Cater mentions that his sisters became more considerate of his own interests and asked him what he wanted. All three coming from a family where they move and lose close friends a lot, the sisters are probably close and want to stay close to their brother as well, since they’re the only consistent company in a similar age range. His sisters are each other’s best friends, Cater didn’t have that growing up. He also mentions his sisters and mother’s sweets-making kick, and how he eventually got over having sweets every day. But when he protested, it’d disappoint and sadden them/they’d have dejected looks on their faces, which Cater didn’t know how to handle, so he made himself go along with their whims to keep them happy.
This pours into his social media life, where he’s a peppy, cheery guy that posts upbeat content and responds with light, casual, carefree messages to people. His Lab SR literally has him state that he ‘should always be happy and excited, after all’. So, clearly, whatever dynamic the Diamond family has, while not what I’d call something as heavy as abuse, isn’t considerate of Cater’s feelings and views Cater’s ‘go with the flow’ ways as approval. If he ‘breaks character’ of the devil-may-care person he is on the surface, it raises questions, and Cater would rather just avoid all that and enjoy himself instead of getting involved in anything heavy.
Again, Cater doesn’t like to rock the boat. He also mentions in his Lab SR that this obsession with cutesy stuff became rather invasive, and he’d even be criticised or second-guessed if he didn’t go along with the idea. Cater ends up accommodating that interest to prevent any debate, even if he didn’t actually care for them. That said, with such an emphasis on aesthetics being the way he grew up, Cater has a good understanding and practical knowledge of decour and eye-catching designs, which makes him helpful and invaluable when the time calls for decour. This is something Cater knows he’s good at, and enjoys showing off since the focus is on himself and he’s acknowledged for his skills.
With their family moving all the time, Caters gained and lost friends a lot. Cater has an outgoing personality, at this point, it’s safe to assume he’s an extrovert, so making friends comes naturally to him. But when you’re moving a lot, maybe sometimes in the middle of a school term, . Cater needs engagement and social interaction, but at this point in his life, he’s tired of trying to keep up with old and new friends on deep levels, hence his interest and obsession with social media.
One thing to note about Cater: he likes cutting corners. a lot.
In his R card “Portrait of Rosalia”, it’s understood that Cater being nice to Rosalia by throwing her a party with some lively students around is a way for him to get on her good side, because Rosalia overhears the teachers’ discussions of tests and future lessons so that he wouldn’t have to study for an upcoming history test: while Cater’s idea of a party to lift Rosalia’s spirits is in good nature, he wants something out of it that benefits him. But while disappointed the plan didn’t work, he’s quick to brush it off, and Rosalia’s anger, by mentioning that she’s cuter when uptight anyway.
In his PE card “This betrayer!” Cater only have five laps left to do in PE. But he hates how sweaty he is and how tedious the overall task is. So he uses his UM to try and avoid doing all five laps himself. Riddle catches him red-handed, and Cater tries - albeit I’m sure he knows it’s a lost cause - to flatter Riddle at the last minute. Trey’s also involved, and despite leaving Cater in the dust, Trey also returns with Riddle, because Trey knows that Cater’s the type that tries to cut corners whenever possible, something against the rules in Heartslabyul. Honestly, as far as Trey goes, Trey’s someone used to the way Riddle holds himself back. Cater’s exterior personality wouldn’t be hard for Trey to recognise as Cater pushing himself or exaggerating points of his personality just to keep up an image. especially after being in the same dorm for three years.
In short, while he isn’t malicious about majority of the time, Cater will use others to get out situations and tasks he wants no part of. This is a huge thing reflected in his UM, as it allows Cater to be in more than one place, so that he personally doesn’t have to be involved. Growing up with two pushy older sisters, it makes he develops a UM that complements a need for escape when pure wit won’t work. And despite being someone with a superficial interest in trends, that experience accumulates in him understanding the basics about social media and how it affects others, himself included, since it became the only way he could stay in contact with acquaintances and ‘friends’ from previous years.
Cater has a good understanding of how people, in general, work, especially those in his agegroup, which makes him rather crafty when he wants to string others along and get out of a situation. This doesn’t make Cater a mean or conniving person, and in fact, he’s generally amicable and social. Cater lives by a pretty ‘live in the moment’ credo. He enjoys having fun and not getting overly serious about issues when he can help it. There are instances where he doesn’t care about the situation he’s in, or thinks it’s lame/boring, but he tries to make the most of it as something to post about on MagiCam later to engage in low-effort social interaction for a mental break.
Cater pretty much states this in his Halloween SSR:
“If I left there, they remained there. That’s why I’d rather have a casual and happy time with everyone instead of going steady. It’s like a circus troupe, you know, having fun hanging with people all over the world and then leaving. And that’s why MagiCam is the best. I suddenly got messages from acquaintances from the school I went to 3 years ago. Aren’t my casual and light relationships multiplying? It’s lovely! “
Social media helps him keep in contact with people on a low-effort level, so the risk of moving doesn’t damage his relationships online like it would physical friendships. As for family, Cater’s feelings towards his family are difficult, tricky ones he has problems with. He certainly doesn’t hate them, but their lifestyle, the moving and pushy personalities, don’t mesh well with Cater’s personality overall. When Lilia tries to relate to Cater’s experiences of fleeting relationships, Cater can’t help but dismiss Lilia’s empathy as surface-level, since, to CATER’S knowledge (it’s not like he knows Lilia’s old as shit), Lilia’s always lived in the VoT with his own family and friends, which hits a sore spot with Cater:
““Cater: ….Family…huh.
Flashback
Lilia: I feel like I understand you. But it is just as Cater says, it might be the truth that you should not attach yourself too much to one person in particular.
Flashback ends
Cater: (That was full of lies. For a guy who grew up in the same place and never had to deal with rebuilding relations over and over… He wouldn’t understand my worthless and meaningless feelings.)
/Notification
Cater: Hello, Trey. What’s up? Huh? Are we doing our rehearsal for our night show at the stamp rally now? And is Deuce from my committee lacking in hands, so Ace is helping him out? Darn, Ace is definitely going to use this to ask me for a favor later!
Cater: Argh! And is Riddle on the verge of a rampage? I’ll be back soon, Trey, please calm him! It was such a pain getting involved in the biggest crisis of this Halloween week! No, for real! I’m not lying. That’s why you don’t have to say such cold things to me, kay? URGH, TREY, YOU’RE SO CRUEL!!
Cater: Now that Diasomnia’s turmoil has settled, it’s time to change the mood. No matter how you slice it, we’ll still separate if we become 4th years… It would be different if I repeated a year though. Anyway, I should just enjoy the memories I’m making “now”! I’ll surprise everyone with this charming skeleton costume! I’ll show them my serious side!”
Cater calls his own feelings ‘worthless and meaningless’, which likely ties into how he got dragged into his mother and sisters’ own interests over his own, and sometimes even criticised if he didn’t go with their flow. He also expects the friendships he’s made in NRC (as we see with him talking to Trey about the rest of the Heartslabyul cast), to inevitably disappear after he and Trey are fourth years with their own internships and lives to live. Because to Cater, the future of his life and relationships appear disruptive and inconsistent, so instead of fretting about them, he wants to live in the moment and enjoy what he’s doing at all times, hence why he cuts corners to make things easier on himself. This is why he can come across as superficial and easy to get along with, because he doesn’t want to fret over the details.
unrelated but we’re team ‘former dorm leader cater’ here because him doing it because it sounds cool and fun fits perfectly with his personality
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Jack Howl・Voice Lines
Additional Voice Lines
Beans Camo event card
Scary Dress event card
School Uniform - R
Unlock Card
“Are my ears really that weird? You keep starin’ at them.”
Groovy
“I’m not gonna lag behind the upper grades just ‘cause I’m a first-year.”
Home Setting
“Make it brief.”
Home Transitions
“I’m just wondering why the guys who sleep away their classes even come to this school.”
“I was just about to head to the library. ...Is the idea of me reading really that surprising?”
“I hate aimlessly sitting around. But it is important to take a break every once in a while.”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
“My uniform feels tight around my waist. I think that means working out every day is starting to have an effect!”
Home Taps
“The Ramshackle Dorm is so dusty; it’s making my nose dry.”
“You can get points on tests if you just do the questions in your workbook. I don’t mind it.”
“...What? It’s not like I was waiting for you or anything.”
“I’m hungry. Bread really isn’t filling at all. Meat is where it’s at.”
“I don’t like hanging out with people. Leave me alone.”
PE Uniform - R
Unlock Card
“What’s on the training regime for today?”
Groovy
“You wanna run together? ...Hm. I’m not going to wait for you to keep up.”
Home Setting
“Alright. Let’s get to campus.”
Home Transitions
“I should have all this physical strength, but I’m always losing to Leona in magift... It’s annoying.”
“Ruggie asked me earlier if I ever get tired of training all the time. I’ve never thought about it before.”
“120... 121... ‘What am I doing’? Squats. Just keep watching and you’ll see.”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
“If you skip one day of training, you’ll lose three days worth of your muscle-building. Remember that.”
Home Taps
“Deuce and I are both in the Track & Field club. I’m not gonna lose to someone in the same grade as me. Neither am I going to lose to anyone in the upper grades.”
“Don’t just suddenly jump into a rigorous workout; you’ll strain your muscles... I wasn’t worried about you though!”
“There are always people who try pickin’ fights with me just ‘cause I’m big. I hate pointless fights like that.”
“The one battle I want to win more than any is the one with myself.”
“Stop acting so buddy-buddy with me. I don’t remember us becoming friends yet.”
Lab Coat - SR
Unlock Card
“I’m not good at detailed work... but that’s not an excuse.”
Groovy
“You’ll make progress in any of your classes as long as you take it seriously.”
Home Setting
“Are you ready for our lab?”
Home Transitions
“Oh, it’s you. I thought you were Professor Crewel... I’m not really comfortable around that guy.”
“I was going to go tend to the cacti in the Botanical Garden. They look like they might bloom flowers soon... What’re you looking at??”
“The odors herbs give off when you cook ‘em messes up my sense of smell.”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
*sniffs* “...I think the strong chemicals I was working with last period stuck to my lab coat.”
Home Transition (Groovy)
“Class A is going to have a quiz next period. Question 3 is a trick question, so—hah? ‘I’m sweet’? I-I just felt like telling you! That’s it!”
Home Taps
“There’s this guy named Epel in my class. I don’t know how to put it, but he’s kind of weird... Nevermind.”
“Leona snapped at me to not interrupt his nap and shooed me out of the Botanical Garden. I hate how he acts like it’s his territory in there.”
“If you just take proper notes you won’t have to do something as lame as supplementary lessons.”
“I told Ruggie that I’ve never gotten a red mark before, and he went ‘Seriously!?’ Rude...”
“Oi, stop poking at me! It’s ticklish.”
Home Tap (Groovy)
“You need to focus during labs. One slip of the hand could end up in an explosion. ...But it’s not like I’m not worried about you or anything.”
Ceremony Robes - SR
Unlock Card
“You really shouldn’t let people look down on you based on their first impression of you.”
Groovy
“I’m not used to these clothes... Oi, stop laughing!”
Home Setting
“Is this how you’re supposed to wear these?”
Home Transitions
“Ruggie told me ‘If you see Leona, get him so he can’t run away’...”
“Today’s ceremony is an assembly for all the students in the school. You’re not ready yet? You’re going to be late.”
“Wearing these ceremony robes makes me feel really dignified. I don’t want to ever forget this spirit I’m starting out with.”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
“These fluttery robes seem like they’d keep getting caught on everything around here.”
Home Transition (Groovy)
“Aah? Do you need something? I-I’m not saying you need a reason to talk to me, though.”
Home Taps
“Ugh... My ears don’t fit well under this hood. And my tail has no space to move either... Grrr...”
“It used to snow a lot in my hometown. So I’m very familiar with clothes that have hoods like this.”
“I’ve never put makeup around my eyes before, so I don’t really know what to do when ceremonies come up.”
“I knew the teachers would all take forever with their speeches... but the Headmaster really is somethin’ else.”
“Oi, quit pullin’ at me! It took a long time to get this outfit on.”
Home Tap (Groovy)
“Your hood’s down. You’re the prefect here, so you need to look sharp. ...I’m not mad or anything.”
Dorm Uniform - SSR
Unlock Card
“...What? I’m not interested in hanging out with anyone.”
“If you’re going to fake being someone’s friend, then try somewhere else. I just do what I need for myself.”
Groovy
“Our dorm is a survival of the fittest. I’m not gonna obey anyone weaker than me.”
Home Setting
“Let me show you Savanaclaw pride.”
Home Transitions
“Seeing Leona lead his students reminds me of how amazing he really is. I wanna catch up to his level soon too.”
“I like how the Savanaclaw uniforms are durable and easy to move in. Fluttery clothes wouldn’t suit me that well...”
“There aren’t any elaborate rules in our dorm. ‘If you want others to recognize you, then get strong.’ That’s it.”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
“Wearing this uniform makes it really sink in that I’m a part of Savanaclaw.”
Home Transition (Groovy)
“Apparently anyone’s allowed to swim in that water hole in the Savanaclaw lounge. Can you swim?”
Home Taps
“The triangular folds around my neck are supposed to give off the impression of the King of Beast’s mane.”
“We can sense other people’s strength on instinct. But that’s not an excuse to shy away from fighting the strong ones.”
“I’m not really my best when it’s hot out.”
“I just realized that I think Ruggie takes advantage of me a lot. I don’t believe it...”
“Did you grab my tail just now?”
Home Tap (Groovy)
“There’s a lot of aggressive guys in our dorm. You shouldn’t come here so casually just to visit me... I-I’m not saying that ‘cause I’m worried about you.”
Duo Magic
Jack: “Ruggie, let’s knock ‘em dead!”
Ruggie: “Jack, you’re so fired up.”
Birthday Celebration Outfit - SSR
This card was only obtainable during Jack’s birthday event (Oct 9 - Oct 14, 2020).
Login on Birthday
“Did you come to wish me a happy birthday...? Oh. Thanks. At least let me say that. ...M-My tail’s only wagging ‘cause I’ve been training, not ‘cause I’m happy or anything...!”
Unlock Card
“So I’m the star today...? Alright. I’ll show you what I’m like one year bigger.”
“I can’t believe even the upperclassmen came to say happy birthday... I gotta remember to return the favor for their birthdays too.”
Groovy
“You remembered my birthday? O-Oh, er, you did... Th-Thank you.”
Home Setting
“This sash is so embarrassing...”
Home Transitions
“Epel gave me an apple pie when I got to our classroom. It made the whole room smell amazing; I got really hungry.”
“Deuce gave me a towel as a present. You really do pick up on what each other wants when you’re running partners.”
“Isn’t it kinda overboard to decorate the entire dorm...? Wait, who put lights on my precious cacti!?”
Home Transition (Login Greeting)
“What? A birthday party for me...? I-I’m not opposed to the idea, but hold on a sec. I’m gonna hurry up and finish my daily workout!”
Home Transition (Groovy)
“Is there anything you want for your birthday? I-I’m not trying to give you one as a thank-you for today! I’m just asking.”
Home Taps
“My birthday resolution? I guess I want to be someone that’s really tolerant, like Ruggie, and... D-Don’t tell him I said that!”
“Did you try some of the roast beef that was put out at the party? I heard Leona’s the one that brought it. I’ll have to thank him for it.”
“My little brother and sister used to make me pear compote for my birthdays. They were really bad at cutting it, but it always tasted especially good.”
“I work out, but I’m still going to have some cake. A light amount of carbs and fats isn’t going to hurt. The important thing is to keep it balanced.”
“You never really see brooches shaped like cacti. I don’t wear little decorations like this normally, but I kinda like this one.”
Home Tap (Groovy)
“I’m not that comfortable with all this noise everybody’s making... I think I’m going to step outside for some air. Wanna come?”
Duo Magic
Jack: Are you just trying to make me look good, Jamil?
Jamil: It’s your special day, Jack!
Tutorial
“I’m going on ahead. If you don’t wanna get left behind, then follow me.”
Lv Up
“Alright, let’s keep goin’!”
“The results of my training are starting to show.”
“Hmph... What? I never said I wasn’t happy.”
Max Lv Up
“Working so hard really does pay off. I have to keep putting in my all even more.”
Episode Lv Up
“Wolves hunt with their packs. So why don’t we team up when we’re after the same prey? ...Nevermind, it’s nothing.”
Magic Lv Up
“I want to become a powerful mage who can wield even more kinds of magic.”
Limit Break
“Not even the sky’s the limit! I’m gonna keep going even higher!”
Groovy
“This doesn’t feel bad at all. Makes me want to go out for a run. Wanna join me?”
Select Lesson
“Which class are you taking? ...Hm, that’s a coincidence. I was thinking of taking that one too.”
“Studying is the same as working out. If you don’t keep training regularly, you’re gonna lose your skills.”
“I’ll wake you up if you fall asleep. ‘Cause of course it’ll get in my way if you doze off right next to me.”
Lesson Start
“Alright, focus!”
Lesson End
“I learned something new again today!”
Battle Start
“You’d have better luck just curling up your tail and getting out of here.”
Battle End
“That was pointless. Come back when you’re actually ready.”
Other
Profile Quote
“I don’t plan on gettin’ along with anyone.”
January 2020 Trailer
“If you’re scared, then turn your tail and scram. I’m fine by myself.”
Countdown Poster
“If you’re going to fake being someone’s friend, then try somewhere else. I just do what I need for myself.”
Login Bonus Greeting
“Oh, you’re here? It defeats the purpose if you don’t do your training everyday.”
Player Birthday Wish
“Oi, I heard it’s your birthday today. Here. It’s a present. I-It’s not like I waited till you were alone before I came to give you this. Don’t get the wrong idea.”
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Catch a Falling Star
The Star Sending Festival goes a little differently when Yuu has a raging crush on one of the performers.
Warnings for coarse language, deceptive actions, and being an excuse for OC x Canon, baby!
Please check my Twisted Wonderland Fanfiction tag for more, and let me know if you enjoyed it! I have an open askbox and do like to chat.
~*~*~*~
"You boys look great."
Trey and Deuce flushed a bit, and you laughed and snapped a quick picture. How pretty they looked in starlight silks and airy linens, all embroidered in gold! Pretty as a picture.
"If you like the clothes so much, you can take my spot and play the drum?" Idia, poor thing, he sounded so hopeful from the other side of his screen. And the clothes were nice, nicer than even the robes you had woken up in. They'd look nice on you. But if they'd look nice on you, how much nicer would they look on him?
You tried to keep your voice casual, but you couldn't keep out the teasing tone. "Noooo, they’d suit you better. And I can't keep a beat! You've done perfect on some of the rhythm games you play. It'll be a cakewalk."
He just groaned, and kept at it. As though pity for him could outweigh your own desires.
~*~*~*~
"Selfish little bastard of a man."
"Please stop calling my brother names."
"I'll call him what I like. Deuce has been working very hard. At least he can't resist gamifying anything."
Ortho hovered behind your shoulder. "Is it wrong that I hope Deuce succeeds? I should want Idia to always win."
"I hope not. I like Idia a lot-"
"You do."
"Shh. But that doesn't mean I want him to always have his way. He does need to do things sometimes. If he doesn't occasionally come out of his comfort zone, how's he going to extend said zone? He's got... there's zones he needs to be in before..."
Ortho tilted his head, and you ruffled his hair like the puppy he seemed. "Anyways. I got an idea. Say nothing to you brother about it, I don't want him crying betrayal in my messages."
~*~*~*~
"Easy sleep."
The gem glowed to life, and you set it aside to grab the next unactivated one. With so many students not wanting to make a wish? All you had to say was that you'd take unwanted stones, no questions asked. By sunset there were piles of them by the Ramshackle gate. all to add to Deuce's . And wishing stars didn't seem to care if the same person used multiple, just if you spoke it out loud. Which, with your loudmouth shnook of a roommate, meant you were just cycling through a list of trivial things.
"Ugh, are you done? I'm going to bed." He only made a few more wishes himself, for endless food and as many naps as he'd like, before growing bored.
"I'll be up soon, make yourself comfortable. Um. Fly the heavens. Swim like fishes. A clean conscience..." You kept going through ones in the lyrics from a remembered song, until you were sure Grim was in bed and wouldn't be awake to make fun of you.
"One true lover with a thousand kisses."
The stone clicked on like a sigh, warming under your touch. The light seemed a bit different, though it was likely your imagination. You grabbed the next one. "Idia to perform in his pretty little outfit." Click. "That if I go home, I rememeber everything, everyone here." Click. Click. Click. You kept going until there was only one left.
You whispered a truly selfish one to it, and it lit up so bright you had to blink the spots from your eyes.
~*~*~*~
"Aaaaaaaaa you look so cuuute~" As beautiful as Idia looked? You couldn't stop gushing over Ortho. "You're such a pretty little thing aaaaaaaaah!~" You swung Ortho around in a hug. "You look great! And the ceremony is saved!"
God, he had such a sweet laugh. "I'll be perfect! I have to go! I'll see you after!" Was he trailing sparkles as he went? Probably not. And with him gone, you could go back to your original target.
Idia fidgeted in his spoot and looked away as you looked him up and down. You'd never seen him look so fine. Of course, even in his usual clothes, he was beautiful, but in these, this finery? He looked otherworldly, more a fanciful painting than a person. Maybe everyone else could see even a fraction of what you did.
"You look nice."
"It's awful."
"It's lovely. A splendid get up for a splendid person." He turned red. "A kind, sweet boy who steps up to the plate when it really matters." Redder. "A wonderful person who went out and personally granted all the wishes he could - Mal told me about what you did, and look what you've done for Ortho! And you saved the ceremony!"
He covered his face with his hands. "Stop, stop, I'm too low-leveled to take these complements. I don't deserve them."
"You deserve plenty. May I...?" You held up your phone.
He frowned at you. "Why would you want a picture of me looking like an idiot?"
"You look..." So beautiful you feel lightheaded just from standing this close. "Far from an idiot."
He argued, but you did get your picture.
~*~*~*~
The ceremony was over, but you're just pissy. If it was just your phone on the friz? Yeah, whatever. But everyone's went screwy, so you knew damn well Idia did something so there wouldn't be pictures or video.
And he'd done so well! He was a born drummer, he hadn’t missed a beat. He'd been so alive, and passionate, and he needed to see it for himself. That was the whole reason, not that you’d wanted a recording of him to watch in the wee hours of the morning.
Good thing that even as he fled from the wishing tree, he was easy to pick out, and it was easy to guess the direction he was going. So, instead of chasing directly after him and losing out to his long stride, you just took a different path and waylaid him in a small clearing.
He didn't even realize you were there until you steped into his path ten feet in from of him, landing on his ass.
"So. How'd you screw the phones?"
He blinked up at you, chest heaving. His clothes were damp from the ceremony, and he smelled of sweat, though not unpleasantly. "Made a signal jammer. They'll be fine when I turn it off."
You smiled, and sat down across from him. You'd picked a good spot to find him, the moss was thick underneath you. both. "That's a great trick. Why?"
He rolled his eyes, already knowing what track you were on. "No one wants pictures of me except you."
"If that was true, you wouldn't have made it so no one got any pictures of the ceremony. The one where you were only a small part of." You decided to add a bit of guilt. "Deuce's poor mother, she'll not get any pictures of her boy!"
He flopped back onto the ground and covered his face. "Stop lying."
"I'm not lying."
"You don't actually care about that." Still lying back, he pointed a finger at you. "You're just mad because you didn't get your pictures of me! Why me?"
"Why not you? I was so busy looking at you I barely had time to notice anything else! Why would I want to look at anything else!" You couldn't stop yourself. "I don;t understand why anyone would ever stop looking at you. I've never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. And after I got to know you? I like all of you, even the parts that drive me mad. Especially those." You drew your knees to your chest, painful with the thudding of your heart. "You're wonderful. The only thing about you I truly don't like is how much you dislike yourself."
He'd drawn back during your... good lord, that was a confession, wasn't it? Against a tree, staring at you wide eyed with fear. He was going to run as soon as he caught his breath, you knew it. You'd fucked it up and he probably wouldn't even want to keep being your friend.
"Do you really mean that?"
You nodded, waiting for the shoe to drop. But instead of running, he joined you, a hair's breadth from your side, silent for what felt like eons.
"I'm an SR at most. On my good days."
"Nonsense." You laughed. "You're a treasure. a truly rare specimen. Museum quality."
He managed to laugh back. "Only normies still go to museums."
You nudged his shoulder. "I said don't ever call me that."
"Normie."
"Stop."
"Nor-"
You pushed him lightly, and he still flopped over, laughing. You joined him, head on his chest. (So damned bony! even with his faint muscle, you could feel the curves of rib beneath his skin.)
"Idia?"
"?"
"You're terrified. I can hear your heart going."
"Ah... Excited too. People don’t confess to you every day. Especially not me."
"Oh, they should though. Letters pouring out of your locker every time you open it. Chocolates from secret admirers. The whole list."
"Not everyone's you. No one else is."
"You can just borrow mine. I get tons of them."
He frowned at you. "And you pick me?"
"Yes? Why wouldn't I?"
"There's the whole school to pick from. A whole school who aren't shut in otakus with curses."
"Oh, I got a curse too." He narrowed his eyes at you. "I'm the hottest bitch in a school full of hot bitches. It's truly dreadful. No one meets my exacting standards except you."
"I am cursed. And you have no standards, because..."
You held a finger to his lips, and he went cross-eyed trying to look at it. "No. Don't start. Can I prove I like you?"
He gave a small nod, and you took a deep breath before you began. The first kiss, you placed to his fore head after pushing his bangs away. The next two, to each scrunched eyelid, purplish and finely veined. Four, five, six, to the nose and each cheek. On the last, you hesitated. Was this too much? Was this too quick? He answered you himself, reaching up and dragging you down to crush his lips against yours with a gasp. He only let you up when he gasped for breath, eyes unfocused and his lips bruised and swollen. It was such a glorious sight, you couldn't help but record it.
He didn't even get a chance to shield his eyes, and you'd stowed your phone away as he blinked in shock as he realized what the click was. "Why'd you do that?"
"Because you looked beautiful, and I wanted to remember it."
"Nnnn... please don't show anyone."
"Not even you?"
"No."
"Too bad, I'll show you after. People are probably looking for us."
~*~*~*~
You couldn't complain. You're pretty sure that you weren't supposed to plant grass seed by hand? But there was something soothing about your hands in the dirt, so you were doing it that way.
"I can't believe Shroud's not here, he made this mess."
"Ortho is here." He was in charge of spreading the grass seed after he helped get rid of the burnt grass.
"Ortho doesn’t count."
You threw a clod of dirt at Grimm's head. "Then you might as well say you don't, either."
Idia actually showed up in the flesh before that fight could continue, gushing that he actually got the game sequel he wanted. Good for him! Now you needed to find a playthrough of the original to watch, to properly understand the excitement.
"It's a pity you didn't get a wish yourself, Yuu." Deuce didn’t know that you'd wished up at least three dozen stars yourself, he thought you’d just gotten them from people. He didn’t need to know, either.
You looked up at Idia, catching his eye. He started, and flushed not just his face, but halfway down his hair, before it faded out, a pulse of pink sparks. The smile you made at the sight hurt your cheeks from the strength of it.
"I'd say I got my wish just fine."
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Lmao this guy won us the game and still was such a baby that he said I should uninstall the game. I just don't get it. He won anyway. Why still be an asshole? People that take this shit too seriously need👏 to👏 go👏 to👏 ranked👏 matches👏 and leave us casual gamers alone. I'm not a great shot. I'm well aware. Also the cherry on top, he used his mic at the very end to tell me I suck, but didn't use it at all to communicate the entire game. Like. The disconnect. I can't. You'd think if he cared so much he'd have used his mic to strategize better. The ping system can't replace everything. Or he could just play with friends that are on his level. There's clubs. I'm sure he could find a sUpeR SrS club he could join that only accepts A+++ shooters. Ugh. Still got those experience points though, thanks for the win asshole.
#apex legends#like imagine if he said that to a small child and not a grown man they might actually be hurt by that#im just confused why people take the time to be mean when theyre willingly playing with randoms#like bruh you know its not always going to be an A+ team#you STILL WON
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I love Obey Me, but unless I’m playing the events super wrong, I have to say I really dislike its events’ point/reward system.
There’s no way for f2p players to rank even remotely close to the top half tiers. In the latest event, to get the ranked memory SSR, which is the “easiest” non-SR you can get, you have to be one of top 1500 people out of over 167,000 players. Which sucks because that’s somewhere between 0.0075% to 0.009% of all players (my assumption is that they are about 200,000 who have played the event to get at least 1 point). And SRs are useless by Lesson 12? 10?, give or take. So it’s essentially not giving us anything.
I did the math for my specific cards this event, and if I played as much as the event allows me per day (entirely f2p without using demon points to redo battles because I need to save them for nightmares), I would still end up in the sub-6000th place, which is the 4th tier from the bottom and 10th from the top. And that’s not even accounting for the ranked memory and demon URs that are much harder to receive. (which are, respectively, about twice and three times as much points)
Other than getting the cheat cards from the Event Nightmare, I don’t see how I can get better at events without using demon points (and at that point, I think it’s no longer casual play). And the cheat cards barely help imo. In most other gacha games I’ve played, I feel like ranking improved as long as you constantly play the game, due to upgrading cards/getting better cards/actively playing the event more/learning how to optimize the game better, before it plateaus. However, insanely strong cards do not help you in the events. After you beat all the lessons, it doesn’t matter how strong your cards are since it just matters how much you can replay the levels.
Since I’ve started playing this game, I’ve been constantly ranking in the 2nd tier from the bottom, because every time I try to rank, I start out playing a lot, then slowing down exponentially when I calculate that it’s literally impossible for me to get certain cards. It’s super disheartening. I was so pumped when Satan’s birthday event came out that I tried my strategy of playing as much as I could per day. Then when I calculated that it was literally impossible for me to get his UR, I got super disappointed and stopped trying.
I also dislike how the pop quiz awards work. Once again, if I grinded as much as I could without using points (since I have a lot of AP saved up), I could get the demon SSR, but it would take multiple trips to Lonely Devil to even think about getting the memory SSR, the memory UR, and the demon UR. And it takes a while for events to show up on Lonely Devil, if they ever come back at all.
I get that Obey Me is mostly trying to make money. So they want you to shell out money so you can buy vouchers and points to get good cards for events and the main story, but I wish it was a least a little less p2w in the event so that it’s more enjoyable for casual players. I’m grateful for the UR chance boost from the anniversary, at least. That was a very nice update. Since it’s a gacha game, I didn’t expect them to be nice about that. I’ve played so many gacha games that I don’t mind low UR/SSR rates. I’m used to it. It’s mostly just the event rewards system and the difficulty curve I don’t enjoy.
If there’s something I’m missing about the meta of Obey Me!, feel free to object to my rant. Because I feel like I’m doing something wrong to be this bad at events. Or am I right about it being a p2w thing?
#mod tsuzu talks#not a3!#long post#game meta#i wish i could put this in the main tag but i don't wanna be annoying#i was so heated about this that i actually calculated the percentiles of each block of 'similar' tiers#i'm gonna follow this up with a suggestion for how to balance the tiering rewards a little bit
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