ok nobody's gonna see or care this but I'm gonna rant bc I am sick of my life and maybe someone can relate: so long story short, I'm a 27 year old graphic designer who was working 2 years at a big e-commerce shop until the new asshole supervisor didn't want to continue my contract that expired bc of his hurt ego bc I (along w pretty much everyone else bc he liked to pick fights w ppl from all departments bc he got into everyone's business) dared to argue w him BC HE KEPT CHANGING HIS MIND EVERY TWO MINS AND KEPT CONTRADICTING HIMSELF ALL THE TIME. so I lost my job last October and ever since I'm unemployed. I live in germany (Berlin) so I get unemployment money, but it only lasts for a year and it's already the end of July and I still can't manage finding a job although I've probably applied to 90 jobs by now of which only about 10-15 turned into job interviews - or the new trend "getting to know you meetings". of which only 1 invited me for a 2nd interview. now I get there's sadly so many designers, the job market is kinda oversaturated and for one job probably 20-30 ppl apply. but then sometimes this isn't even the problem. I had an interview for what seemed to be my dream job so I was super excited for this but then when I met the two guys doing it, they were very underwhelming. I mean little to no reaction to what I was telling them about myself and at the end they only asked 3 quite superficial questions. that's it. meanwhile others for companies I'm less suitable for, ask me like 20. then there's this other case, where they give you tasks and I don't mind tasks but one time I'd have needed the whole creative suit for them and like - hello? I'm unemployed and don't have the extra money to spend 60 euros every month on Adobe? I only an old Photoshop Version and that's it. then another time they gave me tasks that were only 40% graphic design related (but very vague descriptions/no real info) and 60% marketing/copyright related and like sorry, but I only have basic marketing knowledge and I'm not a fcking ad writer? there's this trend nowadays, they say they want a graphic designer but what they really want is a graphic designer / marketing expert / social media manager / copywriter / photographer / editor / etc. but still w only a graphic designer salary, so they don't have to pay five different ppl. like FCK YOU!

and thing is, in my desperation I even applied to random jobs (which said "No experience needed" in the description) like vendor or barrista. even in a copyshop where I thought I should fit in bc of my knowledge of print products, but either no response at all or I "lacked sale experience". bc Idk how it's in other countries but here you need a certificate for anything. even for a shop vendor you need a 3 year long apprenticeship. for a moment I contemplated going freelance or self-employed but a) I got no fcking clue how and what I have to do and b) taxes and insurance system in Germany is insane, I read an article and was overwhelmed.

So yeah, I'm getting fed up and sad and mad mostly also very anxious about my fcking future bc it honestly seems like I'll end up just moving back to my parents at this point. idk what to do anymore. I try and try and try, but nothing happens and I'm just done. the pressure is overwhelming and the sad thing is, I purposely decided not to visit my relatives/my grandparents this summer (the live in greece) thinking I "might find a job" and even if not, I don't have the extra money for plane tickets! they're extremely overpriced. and it's sad bc whenever I talk to my grandparents they say they miss me and how they're worried about me being unemployed. and my grandparents aren't the youngest anymore either (83 and 89) and I haven't seen then in a year, so that only saddens me more on top of feeling like an overall loser.

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

capitalism is a failure of a system and need to be completely abolished

>store says they're hiring

>50 people apply

>30 don't hear back from them

>19 get told they "don't meet the qualifications"

>one single person gets hired

>store gives them way to much work for one person

>new employee says that they need to hire more people

>"what are you talking about? we have enough people working in your department"

>but no you actually don't. you have one single person working at a time. I only work mornings, every single morning. other guy only works afternoons, every single afternoon. what happens when one of us is sick?

>also, what if I'm busy with something else like stocking, and a customer needs my help? what then? you're asking me to work five people's jobs at once. so either pay me five times my salary or hire four other people

>"no. you're fired"

mfw

>go to that store later to buy something

>no one is working at the department I worked at

>end up waiting 40 minutes to buy something

>don't blame the cashier. he was pulled away to do something else. it's the bosses fault for not hiring more people

>as I leave there are "we're hiring" signs plastered all over the door

what a fucking load of massive bull shit

Why fuck tsa?

Have you ever wanted someone who got the job after seeing an ad for it on a box of pizza to publicly grope your crotch and or breasts because your maxi pad caused a suspicious bulge that the machine thinks is a penis and you're too femme for that so they have to molest you "for your own safety" and then also steal your water bottle because it might be an explosive only to throw it away in an ordinary trash can right next to their seat because they don't actually believe it's an explosive they just want to put you through the ordeal of security theater and publicly sexually humiliate you to remind you the government can do to you whatever it wants whenever it wants?

Yeah me either fuck the TSA.

JJ Jameson is so impressed with Peter's photos of Spiderman that now he's sending Peter on a new assignment: photos of the elusive Batman. Not a single newspaper has been able to get a photo that isn't shitty cryptid level of blurry, and Jameson has decided that the Daily Bugle with get the prestige of having the first clear photo of the bat menace, and will be able to hold it over the heads of the incompetent Gotham papers.

So he sends Peter to Gotham for a week with instructions not to come back until he's got that photo. Peter, unfortunately, can't come up with a good excuse as to why he can't get Batman photos the same way he gets Spiderman photos, so he sets off to Gotham, confident that he can probably get at least one decent photo, less confident about what the bats will do to him if he does.

I'm opening commissions!

10 slots!!!

Bust shots - $100 USD per character Half Body - $125 per character Full Body - $150 per character Simple BG included!

Examples of my art:

I also do Digital paintings, Animations, Comic pages, and Character design!

If you're interested, you can inquire for a quote

Feel free to DM me or email me at [email protected] with inquiries!

Thank you!

Hai! after thinking about it for a While, i'm opening commissions!

if you want some examples of what i can do, you can go check my art tag, name on my blog description (and in the future, you'll be able to check other commission examples in a commission specific tag)

for the commission art i will need either a sfw reference, a detailed description or pictures to go of from if you lack of an illustrated reference. i will also need an email to send the invoices, from which i'll request for half of the full payment up-front after the accepted final sketch (for anything but the doodles and sketches option). after that, i'll get on finishing the commission

Will update this in real time as slots are taken and free again!

Slots:

01. Open! 02. Open! 03. Open! 04. Open! 05. Open! 06. Open! 07. Open!

(reblogs appreciated !)

everything about Gavriil feels suffocating.

how his presence alone can be almost overwhelming, how his massive body cages you everytime without a chance to escape. you wouldn't dare to try anyway, knowing that you don't even have a say against a creature of his caliber. he will find you. in your dreams, in your nightmares. in your room.

how he will be intense and vague about everything just for the sake of it; to confuse you further, to see the conflict of emotions in your eyes merge with arousal. eventually your hesitance turns into acceptance, a desperate need to feel his hands all over you. and he will be oh so grateful to fulfill that desire.

how his thick tongue pushes past your lips and into your mouth, reaching almost the back of your throat, relishing in the muffled little sounds you make. your drool mixed with his saliva drips down your chin, and your hazy eyes look up at him when he finally pulls away, giving you a second to breathe.

how his hips are slamming into you relentlessly, your wetness and lack of resistance allowing him to move almost effortlessly. forced to hold onto him for dear life instead of pushing away. all of your morals and principles are being tossed out of the window every single time he comes to you. he has you where he wants you, and will not stop until he feels like you can't take it anymore.

and how in the morning he vanishes away, leaving you guessing: was it just another wet dream? but the cold stickiness between your legs tells you more than you need to know.

hii things are rough and im short on money to afford some of my medication and pay my bills this month and im taking commissions if youd like to support me 💓 and if not boosting is always appreciated too 🥹 if you dont know me im an autistic black & native brazilian dyke that p much gets most of my income from commissions online bc finding accessible jobs where i live is really difficult. this is a theme i posted this week, this is an icon pack i made. also, check out my resource blog for more of the things i make (@userbru) 🩷 this is my ko-fi & this is my paypal.me. if you dont wanna commission anything but would still like to help, literally any amount is appreciated 💘 thank u sm

$44/300

i’m going to be starting a job soon where it looks like almost all of my coworkers/bosses are going to be cis women and i am…terrified. especially since this is the job i’m going to have to get time off from for top surgery.

if there’s one thing i’ve learned over the almost ten years of my transition, it’s that a situation where i’m the only guy there is one where my gender is guaranteed to not be respected. it really feels like far too many cis women realize they’re alone with a trans man and just see it as an opportunity to act out some sort of power fantasy where they get to stick it to the big bad evil men by taking out their anger on the first man they see without the power to fight back. that or they decide you’re “just one of the girls” and will not hear otherwise, but honestly, given where i’m at in my physical transition, i have a feeling the former is more likely.

there was a time when i felt safer around cis women than around cis men, but now it’s just a different kind of threat.

so LOL my new job completely fucked me over and scammed me by telling me i'd work 20 hours a week immediately, then saying they won't have proper availability for a few more weeks, now saying they can barely give me hours at all, IF ANY, for the foreseeable future.

well my life goes on and continues to include expenses even as i try to apply for new jobs

in the meantime well my poetry books are still for sale!

you can get them for as little as 1 dollar or customize the amount to anything! PLEASE THEYRE NOT BAD- (INSERT REVIEWS HERE) the site is perfectly safe to buy from and v easy!

Commissions open!

Tier 1: simple sketches—$15 base

Black and white or partial/low-opacity color

two characters: +$10

Tier 2: colored sketches—$25 base

full color with simple shading

two characters:+$15

Tier 3: full-render sketches—$35 base

full color, shading, environmental lighting, etc.

two characters: +$20

If interested, please DM me or email me at [email protected]!

Reblogs appreciated💜 thank you!!

More details under the cut:

Will do:

fanart (miraculous ladybug, the owl house, and the legend of Zelda are my main fandoms, so those are the characters I’m most familiar with drawing, but other fandoms are also welcome!)

OCs/sonas (MUST provide references and detailed description)

real people (in my style)

ship art/light romance

Won’t do:

NSFW (or anything that feels too steamy to me djdjkd)

furry

mecha

gore

Other guidelines:

Prices are USD

Payment through PayPal or ko-fi

No price distinction between bust, half-body, and full-body

If you want more than two characters, we can talk about it!

Very simple background included in base price (like a solid color or gradient, a circle or square behind the character, etc). Anything else is negotiable depending on complexity.

Props and small companions (like kwami, palisman, pet, etc.) are negotiable depending on complexity.

These are sketches, so the lines will be somewhat rough and you may see structure lines underneath. If you are not satisfied with the level of cleanliness, I can clean it up a bit, but these tiers don’t include clean lineart. (If you do want clean lineart, though, we can talk about it!)

I tend to experiment a bit with my rendering tools/style, so if there’s a particular piece of mine you like and you want me to try to recreate that style, lmk!

References photos are super helpful! (And for OCs, they’re essential.)

If you’re interested in something that doesn’t fall under one of these tiers (like a comic, doodle dump, etc.), just talk to me and we might be able to figure something out :)

recent paycheck got fucked and after paying my phone bill I don’t have any money left for other necessities until my next paycheck (a whole two weeks from now) so now I have to attempt to sell ✨this✨ doll themed adoptable, I’m not like even sure how to go about pricing it so instead we’re doing ✨an auction✨ starting at $25! I have Zero Confidence that this will even receive bids or be sold but here we are anyways! I do not have a specific “reach this amount to buy the design” price in mine I’m sorry I’m bad at pricing things and have 0 confidence in my art </3

one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it

Desperate times ask for desperate measures aka I find myself unsure of how I am going to pay my rent & bills this winter so I am wondering if anyone would be interested in exchanging some money for my drawing services? I don't do prints cause I don't know how lol but I can mail you the actual drawing. Here's some of the stuff I've drawn this year:

I can draw your blorbo, your bias, your mom, anyone really, just need a good reference picture. Price would depend on the picture, the size, if it's b&w or coloured and shipping (i live in the EU). If anyone's interested lmk and we'll figure it out together? 🙏🙏

SPOILER WARNING!

For a few seconds of Spy Another Day and for the first scene of the Spies are forever commentary, (definitely go watch both of those first if you can, they’re amazing) pls don’t click play if you don’t wanna be spoiled (it’s nothing big but it is a funny moment!)

Anyway, I laughed out loud when I saw the bananas falling! Then I thought “didn’t they mention this before” and went back to check, so proud of them for getting the budget for the bananas falling all these years later!