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flappypineapples · 4 years

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/23615143/chapters/58509889

Escapism Chapter 3

Matthew quickly swept Cordelia up into his arms and carried her into a side hallway leading into an ornately decorated retiring room.

Trying to grasp on to any control of the situation Matthew laid Cordelia out onto the nearrst loveseat and fell to his knees at her side.

He check first for a pulse; steady if not a little fast. And then he checked her temperature. She was sticky with sweat and flushed pink all over, radiating heat.

He couldn't drag her back out into the main room and drive home abandoning Anna and, subsequently causing a scene. He was on thin ice already for the last surprise Shadowhunter visit he didn't think an injured one on their hands would bode over well on anyone's side.

His mind was going a thousand miles a minute and none of the miles traveled were getting him anywhere. He cursed himself for not knowing what to do. He was usually reliable when push came to shove but here he was now.

Panicking. Helpless.

Matthew was debating going and looking for Anna when Cordelia started to stir. Startled Matthew jumped a little and pulled his hand back quickly from her forehead. However Cordelia's hand came up to grab his wrist before he could get too far.

Her glassy eyes peeled open slowly and gazed up at him through heavy lips.

"Matthew?"

"Oh thank goodness. Cordelia how are you feeling. Can you tell me where we are? How we got here?". Matthew contuned with every grounding question he could think up before noticing the far off look in her eyes.

"Cordelia can toy understand me? Cordelia." Matthew was starting to become more urgent but Cordelia just lazily shifted her gaze from the wallpaper to his face. She blinked slowly and let a lazy smile play at her lips and giggled.

Good god. She was drunk.

Matthew had spent so many hours with experienced drinkers and sturdy part goers who held their drink well he forgot what it was like for someone to be newly intoxicated. And, as he was starting to theorize, Cordelia did not hold her drink well on a good day. Especially not today where she had been keeping up if not beating Matthew to the bottle.

But that was just the thing. With her he felt almost no need to reach for the flask. To have that poisonous touch stone. He, was not as drunk as he was used to and this made him uneasy. It was not like him to be in the other person's shoes.

"You're much prettier than him". Cordelia mumbled low in her voice, letting her head sway back.

"Pardon?" Matthew said furrowing his brown

"When he change back and forth I was so delighted to see him wearing your face. I thought I would have to look at James forever."

This must've been what Cordelia saw in the shape changing man, him and James. But why?

His thoughts were inturpted by Cordelia lifting her hand to his head. She ran her fingers through his hair. Rough and callous; they were warrior hands. He had never thought of worked hands as more beautiful than in this moment.

Cordelia widened her eyes and gave Matthew an adorably serious gaze given the circumstances.

"Angel", she stated matter of factly.

Matthew chucked despite himself, "who? Me? Maybe one of the tiny mischievous cherubs painted on some clouds but no most certainly not an angel."

Cordelia was beginning to look frustrated with him now, scrunching up her nose at him.

"Your hair Matthew. Its like", another chuckle slipped in, "angel wings, golden and feathery."

Matthew was no stranger to observations about his hair. Most were either mocking remarks by the Merry Theives or a flirtatious coming on from a gentleman or lady at the bar.

But because it was her it all felt brand new.

Cordelia raised her other hand to his left cheek as her right hand came down from his hair to squeeze his cheeks in.

"It also looks very hard to maintain, like an angel. Can you imagine keeping all those feather untangled? I shudder at the thought of how many boars brushes I'd go through."

Matthew's face lit up and he laughed a short loud snort that was muffled and distorated dude to Cordelia still gripping his face.

"Matthew?"

"Hm?"

Cordelia relaxed her grib but didn't let her hands fall. "If I asked you to do me a favor would you do it?"

"Mhmm", he mustered out. Her string gaze was making him sweat like a soloist under a spot.

"Please kiss me Matthew. I'm so tired of being someone's second choice. I want to have one moment of my heart that is for myself and not stolen away from me by careless childish men and distant drunk fathers and whatever other battles iudt fight. For once I don't want to be a hero I just want to love and not be hurt." Her eyes were begining to fill with tears as Matthew gathered her into his arms.

He brought her down to the floor with his and rocked her back and forth while she cried. He didn't think he had ever seen her cry. Not even when her leg had been practically snapped in half after the battle with Belial.

But she cried now and Matthew would never let her feel weak for her. All true hero's cried, for the world is terrible and without tears theirs no expression of grief for what could've been.

Cordelia stopped shaking after a few minutes and stilled. Still gripping Matthew's shirt she looked up at him. All golden hair and golden skin. With the torch back lighting him one would think he really was an angel.

"Cordelia whatever you need from me to make this better. Say the world and I will bend heaven." His face searched hers frantically as he hesitantly reached up with his hand. His fingers brushing aside some stray curles that had stuck to her lips and cheeks in thr past couple minutes.

"Matthew I want to kiss you". Cordelia looked for sober than she had been moments before. Her eyes more level, like the crying rid her of her initial euphoria.

"Cordelia please-", Matthew began but was cut off

Cordelia began to draw back into herself. "Matthew if you don't wish to the we can simply pretend this never happened and blame it on the-"

Cordelia never got to finish her sentence.

Matthew gathered her up in his arms and leaned down to cover her lips with her own. Cordelia was quick to respond. She leaned in close to his chest tilting her head up to meet him.

There was a slow and luxurious passion to the method in which Matthew kissed her. He did not take liberties or assume what she wanted. His kisses were long and hot, like lava rolling down an island.

They grew impatient with this careful passion however. Cordelia reached out and cupped the back of Matthew's necks, using this leverage to pull gersl further into his lap. Between kisses Matthew pulled back and dipped his head under her jaw and kisses lightly.

"Break my heart Cordelia", he kissed her jaw line, "strike my face", he feathered a kiss on her cheek bone. "You'll wish to forget me come morning but for now let me be yours in this world we've created."

Cordelia pulled back and looked Matthew with her eyebrows drawn. She looked as if she was going to make a reply but instead she cried out in pain gripping her stomach.

Matthew pulled back from her as he himself was pulled back violently into the cold water memories of his mom's illness.

Cordelia stumbled to her feet and met his gaze in a panic before she crumpled forward infront of him. He rushed to catch her as she fell but only succeeded in softening her fall as she took him down to the floor as well.

----

Anna had been having quiet the night of sideshow and talent. She had learned to juggle with one hand and mix a particularly strong cocktail from the new mixologist who had been entranced by her eyes and who Anna has thought in return had the most lovely monolid and sharp jawline.

Thought the night was getting slower and she too was starting to wish to retire to bed.

She set off quite some time ago to locate Matthew and Cordelia but was having a hell of a time wrangling them. She was now searching the east wing retiring rooms in a last ditch attempt to locate them. Even if it meant finding them in a surprising manor. Thought, Anna doubted, Matthew would ever have it in him to break Jamse's heart and confess his obvious infatuation with the girl.

Then again, love is a two way path.

What she didn't expect to find was a colapsing Cordelia and Matthew grabbing at her like a drowning man in rapids.

She watched as Cordelia's stumble three Matthew off his feet and into the ground cushioning her fall and landing him on his knees, practically crushing her in his grib.

Matthew looked like a young boy again. One who had just broke their favorite new toy and had come to terms with the fact that things break. It broke their hearts like this moment now broke Anna's.

She had no time to react before Matthew looked up at her, hair falling over his forehead in a drastically unfashionable way as his wide eyes bore into her. He looked 13 again.

He croaked out in a heart shatteringly desparate tone.

"Help me."

Notes: Hey guys! Thank you for your patience with me taking so long to get back on the horse. I took a one month legally blonde obsession break on accident. I've read about 418,786 words of legally blonde Fanfiction and I'm reading to get back in the grind 😤. This one's a little short but I plan on posting the next chapter soon (like actually soon) so stay tuned :-).

#james herondale #cassandra clare #chain of gold #cassie clare #chain of gold spoilers #cordelia carstairs #shadowhunters #matthew and cordelia #james and cordelia #jordelia #herondale #matthew and cordelia and james #chog #chog spoilers #chain of gold fanfic

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you-are-worth-the-wait · 4 years

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sooo...my brother is in one of the moods again. we went to Michaels and i pointed out a trucker hat that had a rainbow on it and i told him that it looks like a hat that Mraz would wear just because of the way he identifies himself and his support of the LGBT. but then he goes on a “holier than though art” stance of how it’s not his style, how he wears a certain style, and what not. so i then told him about where i was coming from when i said exclaimmed it. then he goes on with is little joke of “you know how i know you are gay”, which is fine cuz we tease each other that way. so then i said, wouldn’t it be cool though if you sent something like that to him and he chose to wear it because he identifies with it. and so he goes a step further saying that now i’m acting like an obsessed teenage/school girl. not like i would actually buy the hat and send it to him but i was just saying that imagine if you did do something like that and he chose to use it during his concerts or something. i was just thinking from the fascination and the “kewlness” of someone choosing something like that if you gave them the option for it. so he goes on to say why do i need to influence him? he can choose whatever he wants so why do i need to influence him in some way. i didn’t say that i was trying to influence him and he’s right, he can choose to be the individual he wants to be. if i were to “present” something to him and he chose to use it or take it on tour, that’s on him. and he was, “so what are you going to do, he chooses your stuff and you are going to scream like a schol girl everytime you see him?” i then told him now he was putting/assuming i’d do something because i never said i would do that. so you know how i talk and ask things just to keep the conversation going, even if doesn’t necessarily represent an actual reality. it’s all what ifs just to see other people’s opinons. but he was going on the attack with things so i pretty much just said that i know what i like and what makes me happy and what i think would make others happy. then he goes on pushing that i’m just like a school girl so i pretty much said, “okay, you are entitled to your opinoin. i never said that i would actually do any of these things. you can think whatever you want and that’s fine with me.”, and then i stopped talking to him. I think he had no outlet after that so next time we talked, he was “disturbed” and talking shyt but i didn’t pay it any attention and that got him even angrier. so sad. don’t know what is his problem.

your posts...”destined to suffer deeply”...i think it’s true. just as how we may be altruistic, empathetic, and what not, we live and love with all our heart so just as happy as our hearts can feel, it can and will hurt just as bad when we are sad. but it is what i love about you. i’ve always told you among all the things that i’ve fallen for about you, your heart was one of the things i do cherish about you. but we need the bad in order to recognize and appreciate the good. which is why i told you that i think feeling “bad” tends to resonate more with me than feeling nothing at all because it just proves to me that i know that you matter to me.

"disappearing and being there”...is that like the whole “only going through the motions of life but not living it”? i don’t want that for either of us. we both deserve better than that.

“nothing like the ordinary”...what is/was going through your mind when you read/posted this post? a part of me wonders if this is how you view me, that i may envoke these feelings, or a part of me just desparately wishes that i could be this kind of a person for you. but i don’t know if i can be that “awesome”. a part of me feels that i can relate to what you are saying but i also don’t think i am as “great” as those who “aren’t ordinary”. i want so much to be able to be someone who when you/they look at me, think i am an “amazing” person despite just being “me”. i know i have my own quirks and what not that makes me “me” and even though i always say that it will take an “exrtaordinary” person to love my borther or my cousin because of their “characteristics”...unfortunately, i think the same can be said about me. i’m “special/wierd” in my own way and i just wonder if there is someone out there who could love me for who i am despite all my “quirks”, flaws, neurosis, childish/child-like ways, my in depth/lack of perception, and so many other things that i have going for/against me that make me “me”.

FB post: “ ...for the longest time "Serendipity" was one of my all time fave movies even though i never watched it. i just saw one scene with no sound while i was working and i thought it was so fun/kewl that i ended up liking the movie even though i knew nothing about it. then "Romeo and Juliet", the Baz Lurmann version came along. i've always liked R & J since high school so seeing that movie set with music was really something that i liked. then "Moulin Rouge" came along and i've been hooked. so yeah...i think that movie is one of the tops on my list that i can readily think about. everyone should give it a watch. it's an amazing musical/movie. i have a difficult time choosing between that and "The Greatest Showman" because that is a pretty dang good musical/movie too.

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