#i miss you but i miss myself more | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jude-thedude98 · 1 year

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I just want to serenade you with my sorries

Sorry that you're not the man I thought you had the plan

to promise lands of freedom

a kingdom of serenading to five reasons

twelve more than thirteen it's the reason NOT TO commit suicide

but homicidal I feel a grooms man bridal evening

believing you was my own treason.

You left me freezing in a warm summer's day.

And some say, I shouldn't be this way

but what if (and this is ONLY TO challenge the brain)

what if this IS the way that I NEED TO BE in order

for me to get to THE WAY that I'm SUPPOSED TO BE?

Hm, makes you think easily...

Perception is always PERCEIVING

and I'm RECEIVING "sorry notes" from you sorry ass breathers.

Sorry not sorry.

If you gonna come to me with an apology then say

I APOLOGIZE

then I can sincerelize

your feelings

ARE NOT

as important as MINE

but I WILL ALWAYS TRY

to sincerilize.

Sterilize,

clean myself up for your ditty eyes

and dirty minds.

Because mines will play tricks on you too.

Two late a m

four me to

zero end

on your flaws 2.

So I subtly set a penny for thoughs

who have lost a tooth...

sorry I'm not able to be the boyfriend you never thought I could be

sorry you never gave me a chance to be

sorry you never will wear big boy undies

swallow your pride

in your tummies

sorry this poems so long

oh wait no I'm not.

Sorry, Oh Wait : No, I'm Not! by Mr. PoetAll

Inspired by SELF-LOVE JOURNEY JOURNAL 2023 & by my new aid, Alexiss (who has already taught me to take care of myself just by allowing me to let her take care of me by cleaning and cooking. Making tea, and organizing my room). What a great start to a business relationship! Feb. 20 2023 - DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

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stil-lindigo · 2 months

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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

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sergle · 2 months

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the threshold has been crossed, it is now springtime!!

#sergle art #artists on tumblr #illustration #body posi #fat art #body positive #stretch marks #heey it's chboy. skinny penits. i haven't killed myself i SWEAR. i'm still in my cave and i still draw #i hope you like the pieces because i really liked doing the more stylized flowers on the first two #like that actually gave me so much enjoyment doing the flowers that way on miss blue hair

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notbrucewayne48 · 6 months

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"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area #so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying #even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations #now things are more calmed but damn #mind your own bussiness #i believe she knows more about herself than you #sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind #insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about”#or because they “just have to wait for the right person”#or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something”#i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself #and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one #aromantic #arospec #asexual #aroace #acespec

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demaparbat-hp · 1 month

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Almost

#zutara #atla #zuko #avatar the last airbender #katara #zutara fanart #Wip #First page of three is done!!!#Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!!#It's been ages since I started this project omg #But it's worth it #Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho #I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you #Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that.#Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first...#... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol #Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits #And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one...#And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts #So uh #Yeah #Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay)#Dema out #(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious)#(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months

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Game night ruined.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #wang lingjiao #If the assorted Jiang disciples look familiar it's because they are the same as the disciples in the LWJ in Yunmeng Jiang AU comics!#I decided that if I was going to have background characters come up a lot I may as well solidify a few designs.#We are following MLP background character rules in the sense there are more disciples around but these guys fill in for them #Do they have names? No(t yet).#I just think the jiang disciples are very sweet and cute in the audio drama. I hope nothing bad happens to them.#(let me have me fun and whimsy with them before...you know...)#I feel like I totally missed an opportunity to set WLJ up as an 'Um Actually" girl.#“you're hitting on my man? UM ACTUALLY get BURNT”#“You want to fly kites? UM ACTUALLY It's offensive to my sect so get fucked”#“UM ACTUALLY we're setting up a supervisory office here”#“You want me to stay? UM ACTUALLY I think we pissed off some ghosts so I'm outtie <3”#Do you see the lost potential here? I'm furious at myself for not seeing it sooner.

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tapakah0 · 4 months

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Hello here, sweet Eheghemh,mhmmmm I do good ehwhehe

#Like #I finally feel calm in a good way #Not rushing #Slowly learning new things #Just quietly enjoying stuff when can #I hope you all do good too #Oh my god... I missed drawing more little doodles to express myself...

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listles-s · 1 month

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man laios and toshiro's/shuro's dynamic is incredibly compelling to me on multiple levels

when you look at them, you can see the cultural and personal barriers that drive almost every single aspect of their relationship, both positively and negatively. laios is incredibly outspoken and driven by his passions, which he expresses freely even in the face of annoyance and/or criticism- he's allowed to be as authentically himself as he pleases, and it's this drive that allows him and the others to survive as long as they have, especially due to the fact that these passions and interests are intertwined with his skills as a dungeon diver. toshiro, in contrast, is incredibly reserved, not only due to his eastern upbringing but also his status as nobility- a combo of cultures that both demand that one save face, to avoid conflict at any cost, even at the expense of one's own feelings and individuality. this, in turn, has made toshiro the perfect samurai, as he's politely-spoken, agreeable, and an honorable, skilled man. both are also incredibly devoted to falin on different levels, having come to accomplish the same mission of her rescue despite drifting apart from the party.

on the flipside, it's these same strengths that cause them to clash- laios is outspoken but unable to truly decipher the emotions of others, leading to a lot of false assumptions and frustration from those who interact with him. toshiro is stoic but to the point of complacency, leading to a aggressively neutral disposition that's ushered by the needs and wants of others, rather than himself. neither man truly knows where they stand with the people important to them in their lives, and hold the ones that they do know how they feel with a fierce admiration expressed in ways that aren't always traditional.

in the end, they both share a growing feeling of isolation from other people that comes to a head when they meet again in the depths of the dungeon, and they both have different ways of coping with the frustrations that arise, seeing the other as only the things they have seen face to face.

it's laios' ability to express himself emotionally without consequence that sparks jealousy in toshiro, leading to a physical fight born out of miscommunication and envy. while toshiro is a driving force in the conflict, it should be noted that the actual fight is started by laios, breaking the dam of indirect communication through force. nothing is more direct than a slap to the face, and it's only after they start hitting each other that toshiro's true feelings come to light.

however, at the end of it all, toshiro is the one who stops torturing himself, listening to laios and giving him the bell, allowing laios and his party entrance into his homeland should they need it, and ultimately giving him support in his mission to defeat the dungeon mage, albeit in his own way. despite it all, they're still good friends with a conflict that boiled over, but came out the other end with a slightly better understanding of each other. the fight was painful for both of them, but it was a necessity for their dynamic to improve, and for them to be made aware of their faults and improve as individuals as well.

but also, if you think about it, their dynamic is literally just this

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #laios dungeon meshi #toshiro nakamoto #shuro #shuro dungeon meshi #character analysis #anyways toshiro haters with surface level takes get the hell off my lawn boy #i hope you know this entire character analysis was born out of the realization that i'd seen this dynamic before in a different light #and i thought. man. what is the funniest comparison i could make here rn. and i'm still right abt it btw #oh yeah also of course the autism read is still there #as an autistic person myself they don't read at all like neurotypical v autism. they read a LOT more like autism v autism #you know how people with autism either get along REALLY well with other people with autism or repel each other with a force #yeah they're basically that. to me #reading toshiro as autistic with the immigrant lens btw makes him even more compelling to read that way #but that is an analysis for another time #man i missed writing these #dungeon meshi spoilers

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chickenoptyrx · 7 months

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....I just wanted to draw gators :T at this point these 2 are more 'a representation of my last 2 brain cells' then they are actual characters 😅

#im living vicariously through the cartoon guys #because i want to A. pick up gator (strong man style)#and B. ..pick up gator (hug)#ok but so i recently found out an area where i take stupid little walks for my stupid little mental health #has! GATORS!! (potentially. theres signs.)#and this is great cause seeing gators would def heal me as a person #but ok so when i look for hiking places i always look north cause the terrains more hilly #but now im lookin south more cause turns out i AM in fact far enough south to see gators!!#and yeah looks like theres a handful of nature reserves w hiking trails the same distance away as the little mountain trails i go to #its flatter and the trails are less extensive so ill hafta see if i think its worth it #but then too theres a really big black water swamp that.. further away then i wanna drive..#but also i drove 5 hrs once just to go to mammoth cave as a day trip so.. we'll see..#my friend says he wont go w me tho :T he'll just report me missing #this has been a tag ramble about my sudden outset intrest in seeing a gator #my bullshit #lol barely but still #also- i told myself not to over do it drawin the scales or coloring it #and as you can see i dont listen to myself ever #lol they look outta place but idc i got to draw 2 of my favorite characters and also ALLIGATORS :U #living the dream rn

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crunchchute · 3 months

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Sam and Max if they were cool /j

#sam and max #crunchchute art #my art #somehow this shitposty art piece made me emotional while drawing #i miss highschool and my friends and just going on school trips and stuff listening to shitty scene music like botdf #and playing the songs on a phone close to our ears or sharing an earbud on the bus #and being fucking cringy and shit man i wish i experienced more of that #perhaps i wasted my teen years on stress and worrying so im dressing like this now to make up for it #i know you wont see this D and im sorry i was being awful to you sometimes but i liked teasing you as if you were my sibling #i really miss those times. and i know i could always reach out to you but you moved on and im still stuck so i wont. but im thinking about #you from time to time! and the little fun we had back in hs. i really felt like i could be myself when hanging out with you #and i thought about you making this piece. me as max u as sam that would fit lmao #<- hes getting sappy missing the idea of his friends 10 years ago that only exists in memories now because everyone except him grew up

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jude-thedude98 · 1 year

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One More Note by Mr. PoetAll

If every note before was dreamed to be burned on the floor

Burning pages, burning hearts

Lost emotions

L0st times

Tables of fruits lemons, melons, & limes

Bittersweet tastes

I cannot feel

U

Left me with no explanation

Is it the hole in my head that causes wonders of dread

Dead locks

Unlocked pandora's box

Emotional concoctions

We both trapped in a closet, red stoppin

But now I'm out a yellow cautious ground

But I'm on My G.O.

Wondering where did you go

For when I look back in the closet

You're hiding now

But I cannot swim in this deadpool

I have to let you go now

For you, R.A.A., who taught me how to love myself by being the thing that I loved SO MUCH that I couldn't love anything other than us. But now, brokenhearted, I am still healing and mending this broken heart to learn how to and continue to love myself and teach others to do the same. So, it may sting, but thank you!

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honnelander · 9 months

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asdfghjkl I love your writing. Your Sanji & reader have my heart forreal 🫶🏼✨ keep up the great work 😘

Suggestion: reader having a niche hobby (like knitting/crocheting, or collecting shells, anything really LOL 😆 your choice) and Sanji’s reaction to that

you are soooo sweet thank you!! this request/suggestion was so cute, i loved it.

when i read "collecting shells" i immediately knew what i wanted to write for it and this is how i think go fish!Sanji would react to reader collecting sea shells as a niche hobby:

masterlist

When you had started collecting shells, it didn't start out as a hobby, far from it in fact. You didn't even know collecting sea shells was considered a hobby until Luffy pointed it out to you.

"Oh, wow! You collect shells y/n? How cool!" Luffy gushed with his signature bright smile that lit up his face. That's one of the things you loved about Luffy, he had the ability to make any rudimentary task seem like the most special thing ever. "What a cool hobby!"

And that was when your shell-collecting hobby was born. At first, you had just wanted a souvenir of some sort, just wanting a small piece of each island you visited so you could look back at your collection one day and remember all of the places you've ever been to.

It was something very special to you. So imagine how you felt when you nearly forgot to grab a shell one day, during a routine island pit stop to restock the ship's supplies, when the weather suddenly took a turn for the worst just as the straw-hat crew was making their way towards the ship.

You liked to grab a shell right before you left. Usually, you had your routine: you would go to the closest beach to where the Going Merry was docked at, take a moment to survey the assortment of shells scattered along the beach, and pick out the shell that most reflected your either long or short time on the island. You loved it.

But during that particular trip, your shell-collecting routine didn't go as planned and you nearly had a heart attack at the thought of missing a shell.

The weather had suddenly turned for the worst as you and the crew were walking back towards the Merry. All of a sudden, it started to downpour so everyone decided to run back to the ship as fast as they could before all of the ship's supplies got ruined (well, everyone except for Zoro, who was already back on the ship with his stuff, not wanting to stick around on any island longer than he had to).

As you all were running up the plank to board the ship one by one, Luffy suddenly called out to you from the dock as you tailed behind Nami with Sanji right behind you.

"Wait! Y/n!" he called out and you stopped at the top of the plank to look back at him through the rain. "What about your sea shell? Don't forget to go and grab one!"

You gasped and your eyes widened. Your heart nearly dropped at the thought of forgetting to grab a shell and in turn, forgetting all about your visit to this island. "My shell!"

"Your what?" Sanji asked loudly over the rain, next to you.

You quickly dropped your crate of supplies on the ship's deck, not caring anymore if they got wet or not. "I have to go get my sea shell!" you replied quickly, running past him and back to the dock.

"Don't worry, y/n, we will be waiting right here for you!" Luffy reassured with a nod. "Now go get your shell!" he yelled and raised his fist in the air.

You gave him a grateful smile as you dashed towards the nearest beach, Sanji watching you go with a curious look in his eye before bringing your supply crate inside and out of the rain.

That night, as Sanji was cleaning up the kitchen, you were still at the table finishing up the warm soup he had made that night for dinner (he loved that you were a slow eater, it meant that most nights he got to spend a little bit of extra alone time with you in his favorite place), he asked you about your niche hobby.

"Feeling better now?" Sanji asked, breaking the comfortable silence as he cleaned off one of his knives with a rag, sneaking a look at you with a small smile. "All warmed up from being out in the rain too long?"

You hummed in agreement. "Absolutely," you nearly purred in delight (Sanji felt his heartbeat stutter for a second at your tone. He's never heard you like that before). You looked at the chef with gratitude. "Your food always hits the spot Sanji, but the soup you made tonight just hit differently. It warmed me right up."

"Ok good," Sanji laughed softly, looking at you for a few seconds through his blonde hair, and flicked it to the side slightly. "I can't have you getting sick on me now." He finished cleaning off the one knife, setting it down on the counter, picking up another to clean before he asked with a raised brow, "So, uh, why did you go back today? Something about a sea shell?"

And that's how he learned about your niche hobby.

You told him all about it; about how you wanted a small token from everywhere you've ever been, how long you've been doing it, described some of your favorite sea shells you've found so far, and how you couldn't wait to show your collection to your kids and grandkids someday and in turn, telling them all about your adventures with the straw hat pirates.

As Sanji listened to you explain your hobby to him, he couldn't help but smile to himself, stealing glances at you every so often. He loved listening to you talk about the things you were passionate about. He loved the way your face lit up and your eyes sparkled.

And for something as unique and special as this? He loved it even more because he knew that this little hobby of yours went way beyond just collecting shells, it was your own way of physically manifesting your hopes and dreams. Each shell you acquired was another story you would tell your future kids about. You were sharing a part of your soul with him, and Sanji was completely enamored.

From that night forward, Sanji had decided that he too would start a sea shell collection of his own, without you knowing, so that someday in the future, he could surprise you and your kids with it, with the beautiful sea shells he had secretly collected right alongside you, his future wife, the whole time.

He couldn't wait to see the look on your face someday.

taglist: @mischiefmanaged71 @smolracoon25 @smol-book-nerd @shuujin @amanda08319 @nimtano @your-platonic-gay-lover @lovelymrvl @whiskeypowder

#OK SO i'm working on the jealous! oneshot i promise!#but i needed something else short and sweet to bang out in the meantime #and this lil blurb request just became so much more sentimental than anyone would think #but!#i just couldn't help myself LOL #i hope i did your request justice anon #thank you for baring with me #you guys are the best #i hope i didn't miss anyone in the taglist i'm sorry!#your requests give me life #asks #requests #blurbs #go fish! au #sanji x reader #opla!sanji x reader

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satans-knitwear · 4 months

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The amount of untattooed skin I have saddens me sometimes 🖌️💉🎨

Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me

#I would like to be an obvious physical embodiment of art and expression and joy even when I cannot decorate myself #Or something like that.#I would just v much like more artwork on my skin to share and enjoy tbh and I miss the feeling of being stabbed repeatedly again #satans knitwear #Got a heck of a lot of housework to get done today so I am gonna find something fabulous to wear while I do that.#I shall keep you posted #girls with piercings #alt pinup #pinup girl #wlw #bi girl #cheeky #uk girl

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royalarchivist · 7 months

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Quackity: Someone who I really wish would play a little more is– I'm going to say it: it's Luzu. Because Luzu – I was in a past server with Luzu called Karmaland, which Vegetta owns – and we did some crazy ass stories. [...] I would definitely love to do more stuff with Luzu, you know? [...] His thing is the time zones, though. Which makes sense, 'cuz he's like 60.

Foolish: Is he more of an early bird?

Quackity: No, he's like 60. He's 60. He sleeps early, wakes up early. That kind of like, BS. He's like, "Oh, I have a kid to take care of." It's like, "So?"

Foolish: Tell the kid to grow up!

Quackity: That's like a hobby. [Laughs] That's like a hobby, bro, that's like fcking–

Foolish: Just kick the kid out.

Quackity: Hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you told Ollie [Luzu's son] to fcking– to just grow up, he would.

[ Full transcript ↓ ]

Quackity: Someone who I really wish would play a little more is– I'm going to say it: it's Luzu. Because Luzu – I was in a past server with Luzu called Karmaland, which Vegetta owns – and we did some crazy ass stories because– Ok, so the thing with Karmaland and the problem with Karmaland was that every.

Foolish: The problem with Karmaland!

Quackity: –was that everyone were Spaniards. Everyone was Spaniards. Everyone from Spain, they all had Spain timezone.

Foolish: And that's a problem

Quackity: So I would always start streaming at, like, 5 pm, and all the people from Spain would be asleep. Everyone from Spain would be asleep. So, it was just me doing content, and occasionally, it'd be with Luzu, and I miss that a lot. You know, Luzu– the reason he doesn't play on QSMP as much is because of timezone, so that is literal fcking revenge. That is revenge because Luzu had a fun time being Spaniard and making sure that when I connected late times in Karmaland, there would be no one! Well, guess now– guess what now, Luzu? You wake up at fcking six in the morning– [in a sad crying voice] –and if you ever want to come back, I'll fcking log in for you. No, I'm kidding. But I think- I think– no, I would definitely love to do more stuff with Luzu, you know?

Foolish: Yeah.

Tina: I wanna meet him.

Quackity: His thing is the time zones, though. Which makes sense, 'cuz he's like 60.

Foolish: Is he more of an early bird?

Quackity: No, he's like 60. He's 60. He sleeps early, wakes up early. That kind of like, bullsht. He's like, "Oh, I have a kid to take care of." It's like, "So?"

Foolish: Tell the kid to grow up!

Quackity: That's like a hobby. [Laughs] That's like a hobby, bro, that's like fcking–

Foolish: Just kick the kid out.

Quackity: Hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If you told Ollie [Luzu's son] to fcking– to just grow up, he would.

Foolish: Yeah, absolutely.

Quackity: That's a horrible question. That really hurt my feelings. OK, Foolish: you have to ask a question now.

#Quackity #LuzuVlogs #Karmaland #QSMP #Beanie duo #Luzu #FALLS TO MY HANDS AND KNEES #I MISS LUZU SO FRICKIN MUCH MAN #YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA #YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW AMAZING HE IS #HIS CHARACTER IS INCREDIBLE #THE STORY HE AND QUACKITY WROTE IN KARMALAND CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY #Ok. I got it out of my system. I'm normal again (lying)#For real though... I'll always be so devastated that English fans don't know more about Karmaland #frick it. I'm gonna dig up some clips myself

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meamiiikiii · 2 days

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