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craycraybluejay · 1 month

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my throat hurts from the urge to cry. here. have my heart. stomp on it a little bit and some more too. give me something that's not life or death but sure feels like it to talk to my therapist about.

#i miss my therapist!!!#always makes me feel better

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cuubism · 2 months

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i went to physical therapy for my stupid broken arm so as is my legal obligation i HAD to make ship content about it. everything is ship content that's how it is

cw injury, referenced abusive relationships

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Hob's had plenty of clients come to physical therapy who clearly don't want to be there. Plenty of others who are reasonably frustrated by the work and time involved in regaining functioning after an injury. But this is the first time he's just had someone be... quiet. Resigned.

Dream sits with his hand cradled to his chest, barely speaking, only answering when Hob asks a direct question. He's reluctant to give Hob his hand when Hob asks if he can look at it, like he thinks Hob's grip is a bear trap that will snap down and crush the bones like whatever had done so the first time. Hob still doesn't know what that was. All he knows is the bones have been realigned and healed over but the dexterity in his hand still isn't right. That was what Dream had said, in the first spark of passion Hob had heard from him. It's not right.

But he does eventually give his hand over. His bones are so fine and delicate, and each movement hesitant. Cautious. Hob tests the flexibility. The strength. Dream is right, it's not where it should be. He still doesn't know what happened.

"I won't make you tell me if you really don't want to," Hob says gently. "But it is important to know how it happened to make sure we rehab it the right way. Did you get it caught in something? I've seen guys come in with machine injuries like that."

Nothing about Dream suggests "person who works with heavy machinery." But who knows. Hob will try not to stereotype.

"No," Dream says quietly, looking down and away from his hand like he can't bear to see it. "I. I am an artist. My ex... he felt that I cared more about my art than about him. Perhaps I did. And he was... frustrated. I suppose."

Hob can put the rest of the pieces together in his mind. "Jesus," he breathes, and Dream flinches.

"I have an unfortunate ability to involve myself with such people," he says.

"No, it's not your fault," Hob says automatically.

Dream narrows his eyes. "You presume to know that?"

Hob raises his hands in surrender. "Never mind. I won't pry." He's not Dream's therapist. His job is to help him with his hand, not... whatever else is going on in his life.

He takes Dream's hand carefully between both of his own again. Presses down lightly on his knuckles. "So. Crushed. Like that?"

Dream nods. Hob still doesn't know all the details, but he's imagining a boot going down hard on the top of Dream's hand. The thought is sickening.

"Can you fix it?" Dream asks, like he doesn't dare to hope.

"Well, you already had it repaired surgically, yeah?" Hob says. This strikes him as a bit of good luck--hand fractures are not simple--but he doesn't want to undercut Dream's confidence even further by saying so. He's usually pretty good at reading his clients, and he's already sensing that Dream is holding onto his determination to be here at all by the barest thread. Best to build him up as much as possible. "So it's just a matter of strengthening the muscles again."

He's fairly confident he can get him back to a usual level of functioning with it. The question is whether he can return him to the specific level of dexterity he needs for his art. He doesn't say that. Not yet.

Finally, he gets the tiniest of smiles out of Dream. He's really lovely when he smiles.

(He's pretty when he doesn't smile, too. Hob would have to be blind not to notice it.)

"So," Hob says. "Let's look at the current range of motion, yeah?"

Dream tilts his head. "Did you not already do so?"

"For regular motion, yeah. But I want to see where it's impacting your drawing."

Dream draws his hand back, looking uncertain.

"Come on." Hob hands him a pen and paper. "Show me. I promise I know nothing about art. If it's not up to your usual standards, I'm not going to be able to tell."

Finally, Dream takes the pen, and starts sketching.

Hob watches, noting the way his hand trembles, his uneven grip on the pen. Notes how quickly he gets demoralized when it doesn't turn out the way he wants. Hob can make out what he's written and drawn, but it's clear from Dream's expression that it's far from how it's supposed to be.

"This is just a starting point," Hob reminds him. He has a feeling he's going to be doing a lot of those sorts of reminders with Dream; he does not seem to find optimism easy.

Then again, if someone who supposedly loved him had hurt him like that, Hob would probably find optimism a bit difficult, too.

Finally, Dream drops the pen, clearly frustrated. "I have tried to paint at home, too. It has not turned out any better. You should throw those away." He gestures to the sketches. "They are terrible."

"Nah, I'm gonna keep them," Hob says, and puts them in his folder. "For comparison later." It could also partially be because he finds Dream's drawings of cats, imperfect as they are, charming. Sue him.

"As you insist," Dream says.

Hob gives him documentation on some other exercises he can do at home. Tries to think through what might make him feel better with his art. It feels, somehow, so important to make him feel better.

"At home, go easy on trying to use a pen, or paintbrush or whatever, it's hard on your hand," he finally says. "But you probably want to get back to your art, so-- okay, don't make fun of me if this is stupid."

Dream just raises an eyebrow, waiting.

Maybe Hob should try to learn more about art before he gives advice. Nevertheless, he forges on. "Holding a pen is tough, but if you wanted to like, finger paint or something? That would probably be fine. Might be good for flexibility, even."

"Finger paint," Dream repeats, enunciating each word.

"I told you not to make fun of me if it was stupid."

Dream smiles, just a small thing, like he finds Hob ridiculous but in a charming way. Good enough, Hob figures.

"Very well," Dream says at last. "I will take your advice."

Dream simply walking out had felt like a distinct possibility, so Hob will take this as a win.

"Hey," he says later, catching Dream for a moment as he's checking him out. "It's going to get better, yeah? Trust me. Don't worry too hard, just give it time."

He really shouldn't make promises like that. But he can't seem to help it, with Dream.

Dream considers, then says. "I do trust you."

Hob finds that it means a lot. Now he's just going to have to earn it.

#i really am writing the most random indulgent shit this week XD #you know this was a missed opportunity to do 'forbidden romance between a physical therapist and a ballerina' like that ridiculous romance #novel that was going around XD #anyway don't take physical therapy advice from this #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #my writing #cw abuse #long post #perhaps i'll write more after my next appointment XD #physical therapy fic

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braisedhoney · 9 months

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the fundamental problem

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thattheater-kid · 2 months

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You know what’s wild about being a fictive? Missing your old life even though it was shitty because it’s a shittiness you were used to. The life you’re living now is a new kind of shitty that feels unpleasant in a different way.

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astarlightmonbebe · 1 year

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the appeal of yeojeong as a normal guy who’s just a little bit off. not enough that you would notice when talking to him, of course, but it’s just there, under the surface. a disturbance. and i think it’s interesting because typically you have two types of guys somewhat adjacent to this: guy who seems totally normal but is secretly sadistic/a psychopath, and then guy haunted by a traumatic/troubled past, who has that secret layer of torment running beneath the surface of their image. but yeojeong breaks through these archetypes, and i think part of it is because he’s just so...calm. it’s not that he’s living a double life (kind doctor by day, killer by night) or hiding part of his past (everyone he worked with knew about what happened to his father, and watched his downward spiral during his college days). he’s not the typical male character who is, at every attempt, trying to outrun his tragic past (even though he does run once or twice); he’s not haunted by flashbacks, or suffer from PTSD in the way that is usually portrayed in dramas. and i think part of that is because the glory is a story about victims. it’s dongeun’s story, first and foremost, even though it is also yeojeong’s story, and hyeonnam’s story, and sohee’s story. but it’s a story about dongeun’s pain, and when it’s not about her pain, it’s just about the pain of victimhood - unlike other dramas, this isn’t a show where male pain outweighs the rest.

so yeojeong is just a normal guy. he’s handsome. he has a good career. he’s a plastic surgeon, an interesting choice when both his parents were/are hospital directors, and his father seemed to have worked in the er or something of the sort prior to his death (or at the very least wasn’t a plastic surgeon). something could be said here of yeojeong choosing the ‘safe’ path as a doctor, a path where he cures pain and makes people happy without the added risk of being attacked by one of his patients. there’s no proof of that in the show - why he chose to be a plastic surgeon - but it’s an interesting thought path to travel.

dongeun says he must have lived a good life. that he’s never had to worry about the path that he’s on. and that’s true, to a certain extent. to everyone, including her in the beginning, yeojeong is perfectly friendly. he’s perfect, but not the perfect that people perceive as too perfect (i.e. the guy who’s hiding things); he has his moments where he spazzes out, gets into fights, goes crazy over dongeun texting him back, teases his mom. he’s perfectly well adjusted (a perfect contrast to dongeun’s ‘maladjustment’). he wears flip flops to work and gets the same coffee order daily. he plays go with old men in the park.

he likes to listen to the fizzing of vitamin tablets in water because it calms him down. is this a strange thing? only because he thinks it’s important enough to mention to his therapist. he does it at work too - drops the tablet in, closes his eyes, rests his head. he does it at home - drops the tablet in, opens the drawer, draws a knife. it’s about the noise. bubbles rising to the surface, like bubbles rising from underwater. he stays underwater until the last possible moment, when he has to break the surface in order to breath. dongeun makes him feel like he’s at the eye of a storm - a deceptively calm center, while everything else rages outside. and i think it’s kind of important that he makes that comparison, when he’s someone always seeking that calm. the soothing noise, that makes him feel lonely.

so he’s just a normal guy. a normal guy who receives letters on a regular basis from the prisoner who brutally murdered his father. he doesn’t like letters, he tells dongeun. who knows what he does with the letters - does he keep them? does he throw them away as soon as he sees them? he must have read some of them; maybe you only need to read one to know what is in the rest. maybe he’s still reading them; maybe he keeps them without reading, an invisible torment. it’s not what he does with the letters that matters, but that he receives letters at all.

can you still call it a haunting if you’ve almost made your peace with it? if you’re living with it?

he’s just a normal guy, who looks his therapist right in the eyes and tells her that she couldn’t fix him. he diligently attends therapy for years on a regular basis, even though it doesn’t work. he finally abandons it when he moves to semyeong, because he chooses to embrace dongeun’s revenge. he chooses his own revenge, too, in a way. the dark part of him that he can’t escape. the one that makes him pick up the knife, who asks dongeun who to kill before she even tells him she wants any of them dead, even when he’s a doctor from a family of doctors, and doctors don’t kill - they save lives instead.

you couldn’t fix me, he tells his therapist calmly. so calmly. as if there’s not a bloodied man sitting next to him, a man he dreams of killing. the man is just life to him, just like the letters are life to him to. a dulled numbness. an acceptance of it.

is your son going through hell? can you even tell it’s hell, if it’s what you’ve become used to? is it hell when you’re a doctor dreaming of murder? is it hell to no longer be tormented by dead men and living murderers who send you letters? is it?

#star stumbles #my thoughts #the glory #the glory 2022 #netflix the glory #kdrama #joo yeojeong #hmm. yes. how long has it been since i made a very long text post analyzing a character? quite a bit #he's just under my skin #it's the normalcy and then the just...tad bit off uncanniness to it all #like staring at a room and feeling as if something is wrong but you can't pinpoint what it is #until maybe you finally discover there's a book out of place or something missing or something unaligned #and it's not even psychopathic. seen a lot of people say that but like...it's not #it's a slightly different vibe from that #it's like dongeun staring at the boiling kettle and reaching out to touch it #the dissociation from reality #when you hurt yourself and marvel at the wound before feeling the pain #the fizzing of the vitamin tablets got me first & the letters #but mostly - what really wormed into my core - was the way he stared at his therapist and simply said 'you couldn't fix me'#'after all this time you couldn't fix me'#the dead acceptance.#feeling so mentally unwell about him i can't even describe it #the way his character was designed to be dongeun's (romantic) partner in crime

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beingfacetious · 7 months

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youtube

MURRAY

#god i missed murray gold #i genuinely love this too #this came out <10 minutes after my therapist told me to embrace feeling a lot of things very deeply lmao #Youtube

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karmafisch · 3 months

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Late night Jokerposting because.... mmh I need that man in my life... weird- it feels whenever I feel upset and like my life is full of chaos and out of control I think of him and he makes me feel calm. I think he might be a weird comfort character but he is to me.

#artwork #batjokes #digital art #batman #dc joker #the joker #my therapist will be hearing about this #I miss the old Joker the always bold Joker his jokes are gold Joker the cruel and cold Joker #also love new Joker bisexual mood Joker weird but chill dude Joker the somestimes good Joker #see i invented joker there wasnt any joker and now I look around and theres so many joker #I used to love Joker I used to love Joker I even had the green hair I thought I was Joker #My therapist wont like this #art

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anistarrose · 2 months

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you ever notice yourself having a thought and have the second thought of "omg just like blorbo," followed by the third thought that if your therapist (who unfortunately knows who blorbo is) realized that you related to blorbo this frequently and for these reasons, they would probably tell you that the number of therapy appointments you are currently scheduling are not nearly enough

#i didn't tell him who blorbo is btw. he's just a nerd who already knew blorbo #and he's overall totally fine but it's times like these that i miss my old therapist (not a nerd and chronically offline) 😭#rosalia talks

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bar-les-coucougnes · 8 months

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"Yesterday I beat a cat to death"

#elisabeth das musical #i almost missed it on my first watch #azjkshqkjdh 'i said friend not therapist'

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anonfromtheflight · 4 months

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Heeeeeey!

Thank you so much for the messages I got wondering if I was alright. I am! I just have the worst luck ever!

But at least I'm in good health? And alive. That's a win too. I'm just convinced more than ever that nothing good will ever happen to me without something horrible happening right after 😓

So I made it back to Santiago from home on Sunday night and all was well. But I got robbed on Monday! After work, rght outside a subway station! And not only the asshole took my cellphone, he punched me in the face to make me drop it!! 😒 I almost never take my phone out in public for security reasons but when my boss called, I answered because I thought I had left something important at work. But when I hung up while I was leaving the subway station, before I could put my phone back in my pocket, a huge dude came to towards me, punched me in the face and then left with my phone! 😩

It wasn't even a nice phone, it was basic af and I had it for three years, but it had my stuff and UGHHHH I had to go to the police and then to the hospital to get my face checked because my cheek swelled right away. At least he avoided my glasses? Oh and I had to block my phone number with the mobile company, my bank account because of the bank app and another banking app i use.

To make things worse, I left my tablet back at my mom's by mistake last weekend so I had no electronic device with my info to block my stuff myself. I had to ask my sister to do it and to post a message on instagram in case my friends got any weird messages and to let people know I wouldn't be available. And that if someone talked to them via whatsapp, it wasn't me.

I didn't think about her doing the same for me here, I didn't think anyone would notice or care oops, sorry for that 😬

AND UUUUGHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THE S3 RELEASE DATE ANNOUNCEMENT!!! At least I can enjoy the theories and gifs now 😑 I also can't believe I missed a WHOLE week of OMR beauty content with Omar looking gorgeous and downright sinful wtf

Now I'm back home because tomorrow I have to go vote, got my tablet back and blocked absolutely everything. At least since I sold my soul to google, I don't have to try to remember my passwords lol and could basically wipe everything from my phone remotely.

But yeah, I'm okay! I'm only sporting an ugly bruise on my face that makes me look like I'm part of the lamest fight club in existence.

#Respondiendo #scheduled a phone appointment with my therapist during the week and I'm seeing her today too #now I have to use money I had saved to get a new phone fuuuuuuuuu #ugh I hate everything #about me I guess lol #do you know how boring it is to go through a 7 hours bus journey not being able to listen to music???#while being too anxious to sleep??? TORTURE!#desperately need something good to happen to me #maybe with the new year? I doubt it but still lmao #I missed looking at wilmon and Omar's face negl

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sillyguymilooooo · 1 month

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i remember when i told my therapist all about the redacted lore and characters because i told her it helps me take my mind off things and i WOUKD rant about Camelopardalis for a lot of the session and then it turned into me spilling out my feelings because of similarities i share with characters

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #kinda like that one lasko DND audio #true story btw #i miss my old therapist #💔💔💔

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overheard-at-kickoff · 4 months

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Robot brainstorming? Studying the rule book? Prioritizing game play elements?

Nah, this is playing Ultimate Frisbee. 😂⭕😂

I HAVE NOT WATCHED THE KICKOFF VIDEO YET I AM A DISGRACE TO MY ROBOT FAMILY

#I didn't go to kickoff for the first time since [REDACTED] this year #I feel terrible #not just cuz I miss my old friends #but I feel like I shirked my duty to my old team #anyway that's something to talk to my therapist about. anyway #is this game just the 2013 frisbee and pyramid one all over again #ask #robotics #frc #first robotics #frc 2024 #crescendo #queue #thanks for the ask!!!!!

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xx-thedarklord-xx · 6 months

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You ever interact with someone and think, ‘you need therapy and I hope you are getting it.’ But you just end up politely nodding

#me #all the time #especially with this one old lady I used to work with #she was something else #therapy is a good thing #saves lives #I miss my old therapist #but that was in Germany #damn has it been that long?

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dancrry · 1 year

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ed and stede are going to kiss so much in season two and be so in love that i’m not going to need therapy anymore!!!!!!

#alas i will miss my therapist though #and will probs still need her to rant about Them #ofmd #our flag means death #ed teach #edward teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #they are so in love

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rakones · 5 months

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Might not finish this🤧

Also ignore the random oc dw about it😁

#jjba #jjba oc #jojo #enrico pucci #pucci #jofoes #i miss my therapist #and my wife #i miss my wife tails

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bloodbot-brian · 4 months

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Me and Brian because Ive been having an awful day and wanted him to comfort me

This is obviously very self indulgent but I like how I drew myself and I want to share more stuff like this and talk about my relationships with media and characters more often on here

#I want to clarify that the way I miss him is in the way that I daydream about being with him an unhealthy amount #and view him (and other mechs) as my family loved ones and friends more than the actual people in my life #it is something I need to talk to a therapist about but I don’t see a lot therapist until late next month so #writing and drawing and talking about it is the best thing for me to do right now #vent #vent art #bat lover art #the mechs #the mechanisms #mechsona #drumbot brian

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