All of my incredibly noble and doable plans of going to bed early and not screwing myself over by staying up until the wee hours and then having to wake up for the less wee hours is out the WINDOW while catching up on Critical Role.
GUESS WHO HIT EPISODE 33 AND CANNOT REST UNTIL FURTHER INTO EPISODE 34 WHEN THINGS ARE MARGINALLY MORE ALRIGHT.
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Down Bad Alpha Best friend
tw-blood mention, general disgusting creepy actions, be warned
Something something Yandere Alpha best friend being just a general creep, stealing your used and dirty underwear to jerk off into and spill their load into, slipping you muscle relaxers so they can just slide between your legs and sniff your underwear as they jerk off by humping the bed/couch, getting off when they see a bit of blood on you and wanting to lick any small wound you have, getting rock solid when they feed you by hand and wanting to see if they can force feed you more-
Just a very creepy and perverted down bad BFF in the Omegaverse
-Mommabean
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I’m gonna try to be brief but I’ve been doing that thing where I have an ongoing uncomfortable emotional crisis and I study it, and I have an observation to share:
When you grow up as part of a greater monoculture (in my case, white southern able-bodied neurotypical cishet American Protestant Christian), it is often absolutely terrifying to realize the scope of human experience outside of that monolith you grew up in. Because everyone you know and interact with from the time you’re a small child reinforces the majority view of the world, and unless you’re lucky enough to have someone Different in your life young, you have to sort of create your own paths to exploring life and experiences outside of that norm that has been imposed on you. And whatever you believe in help you if you yourself know you’re Different in some way but can’t really verbalize or quantify how, because you’ve never been exposed to Different before even though you can feel how Different you are.
A common reaction to learning something about the world outside of your monoculture, especially something that has proven hurts and scars from your monoculture’s influence: anger, disbelief, defensiveness. This is a constant knee-jerk reaction to learning new information that challenges your worldview and especially lays the blame at the feet of your monoculture. The reaction is natural, but to stop at that reaction and believe you are justified in your anger and being attacked is irresponsible at best. Life is a constant stream of input, output, and changes based on how the two interact. If you never step outside of where you grew up, if you never confront that feeling of discomfort and study it and learn more about what is making you uncomfortable, you are never going to grow into the better versions of yourself. Sameness is stagnation. Stagnation is where the bitterness lives, and where there is bitterness, there is anger. Anger can be so useful, but it can also be blinding, a blunt instrument to lash out with.
Maybe I’ll give more personal examples later on, but the point is: reacting to new (to you) information with anger and defensiveness isn’t unnatural or uncommon, but the question that comes first should always be: “Is this true, and how do I learn more?” Not digging in your heels and becoming convinced that people with widely different experiences with aspects of your culture are all liars and pot-stirrers. If you truly want to be a better, kinder, more inclusive person—something that NOBODY is perfectly all the time forever, mind, and must always be cultivated rather than left to rest—the first step is to listen. Not give in to your immediate defensive discomfort.
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