Gideon the Ninth Liveread, Chapter 9

I like the subtle gag of capitalizing “Gideon’s First morning.” 

The bathroom sequence is an old standby- “fish-out-of-water-from-a-spartan-culture-explores-an-upper-mediocre-living-space” and paints an interesting picture of Gideon’s knowledgebase and ingrained Taboos. She knows what a Sink is from comic books but not what a bathtub is. She knows that soap made from human fat is an off-putting thing to wash oneself with, and uses the sonic in light of that, but at the same time grew up in an environment where all soap was human fat and thus there was no local taboo for her to pick up. Strongly suspect she’s never used soap before, just to spite the nuns; it’s also possible that she knows soap generally isn’t made from human fat (again via her comic books) but suspects that First House soap specifically might be, given their parallels to the religiosity of the Ninth House; This seems unlikely, given the lack of available humans, but it’s also unclear where they’re getting their supplies from, so, uh. Who knows. Anway this has been your daily three hundred word tangent about human fat soap.

Gideon’s complaint about Harrow upon finding the ring gone implies a previous track record of Harrow taking Gideon’s things; It keeps coming back to the fact that their Rivalry growing up was comically intimate and petty for how spiteful it was. Harrow knowing enough to cut Gideon’s attempted loophole abuse off at the knees also attests to this.

The general disrepair of Canaan House is interesting; they did the bare-minimum necessary to get it functional for the presence of some of the best and brightest of the empire, and while the house is obviously too big to keep in full repair on a skeleton crew, they had some lead time to get some contractors in, for the quarters at least! The general decay of the situation feels like a flex; “you; treasured scions of the great houses, are not special enough to merit anything but birdnets over the holes.”

Here we get a confirmation of my earlier assessment that Skeletons have essentially taken the niche of robotics technology in this setting; the skills involved in making a skeleton are described in similar terms to coding and precision engineering. This stand-in for robotics technology is notably not a one-to-one thing that could be swapped out for actual robots, or clones, or a similar servile construct race; the one-to-one necessity of human death to provide energy and materials for each skeleton integrates the technology directly into the story’s themes. 

Alright, enter Magnus. The way that Gideon juxtaposes Magnus with the horrible teenagers of the fourth (and I love their affect, incidentally, I used to do something similar to my roommate all the time when I wanted to bother him) is interesting. The first descriptor is “Wholesome.” My knee-jerk reaction is that Gideon is casting about for a parental figure of some sort and he’s the first candidate she’s really encountered; I find him mildly endearing if a bit overbearing. There is a Specific Bit that he’s leaning into, the same basic bit that semi-parodic characters like Sir Hammerlock from Borderlands are leaning into. Polite-to-a-fault pseudo-British Gentleman adventurer, except probably less divorced from the imperialist connotations.  We’ll see how things go with him.

Gideon’s description of Canaan House- deceptively lateral in its layout, with no obvious path to the upper lower sections, but still deeply confusing- is interesting, because this clearly was a house at one point. What was it like when this place was in use by humans? How many humans was it in use by? Was it a Winchester-house situation where the handful of people using it thought it would be funny to make it impossibly complicated?

Gideon’s earlier lack of recognition of plumbing-like, as a concept- are reiterated here; she doesn’t understand the function of the pool, constantly calling it a “Pit,” incapable of understanding why there would be ladders leading down into it- but she does immediately recognize the rest of the space as a gymnasium, which tells you a lot about her priorities. I get a lot of chatter on this site about the “Pool Scene,” and you know what, I actually really heavily doubt that this scene was that.

Oh, she can’t swim, can she? She’s on an ocean planet, A Pool has very pointedly been presented as a place of narrative importance, and she grew up on a bone-dry rock. She can’t swim. 

Alright, this door will be relevant later. And I’m not just saying that because I’m perpetually six chapters ahead in the book of the chapter I’m writing these about, expanding on my initial notes as I go. It’s a big black door with an exquisitely-described skull that only Gideon knows about.

Alright, enter the thirdlings. First real in-depth examination of them.

Naberius is interesting because he’s hitting on basically all the observations I’ve hit upon about the mind games being played at Canaan house- the deliberately-squalid conditions, the funny little mentor man, the shuttles being pushed off the platform- except he’s approaching the matter from the perspective of these mind games’s target audience, that is to say, someone extremely entitled who views these things an affront to someone of his standing rather than, say, as a gigantic red fucking flag that they’re all about to be killed. He’s talking about writing to the heir’s fathers about it.  Now, Naberius is implicitly a badass because he’s the cavalier from a House that’s got it’s shit together, so this might account for the discrepancy, but this is still pretty unique; it’s like if the fodder children in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory exhibited suspicion of Wonka’s set-up as a test of character intended to thin them out but plowed ahead with the offending behaviors anyway. He knows what kind of story he’s in but hasn’t internalized it.

I can’t tell which twin is which in the “second voice and third voice” sequence, but I can tell which twin Gideon is very, very into. The takeaway here is that Ianthe is the booky one, Coronabeth is the golden child, and....

oh god. That took a turn. Coronabeth treats Naberius like a dog, and the narration uses that imagery. Ostensibly she does this on the behalf of her sister- the golden child standing up for the maligned lesser twin- but look me in the eye and tell me that this isn’t coming from a place of royalty-inculcated sadism. And then Ianthe, despite being the offended party in theory, despite being the more abrasive of the two by far, is the one to get Coronabeth to simmer down; not on any moral grounds but because she’s wasting time. And then Coronabeth starts being chummy with Naberius (Babs!) again like nothing happened. It’s been implied to me that Ianthe is the evil one in the dynamic? (and what is the dynamic, exactly? Three or four different reads on this sequence. They’re siblings. They’re a preppy clique. They’re... a third secret thing.)

And in the end, Ianthe is the one to hang back and deliver a cryptic warning to Gideon. “I would not attract attention from the necromancer of the third house.” And this could be in reference to her sister (who Ianthe appears to be the leash-holder for) and thus a warning, or it could be in reference to herself, and thus a threat, because Gideon already has attracted her attention. That’s what’s happening right this second. Yeah, no wonder Naberius went right to mind games. That’s just his lived experience with these two.

As a last note, the recurring theme with these three is that of boundries, and pushing them; they were introduced as arriving late, they brought one more person than they were expected to, their conversation was intensely mutually antagonistic but in a reasonable way until Naberius inadvertently crossed an unspoken line; Coronabeth’s response, in turn, is clearly influenced by the need to toe some line Ianthe has set; and as they leave, Ianthe takes time to communicate that Gideon is on the path to transgression but doesn’t yet merit corrective action. 

It’s actually a little reminiscent of Gideon’s own situation on the ninth- a upbringing defined by an endless state of rebellion that was still on some level coloring within the lines; the lines in question just being really, really weird. Gideon’s no stranger to fucked-up “what-exactly-is-the-nature-of-this-relationship” relationships, either!

As a last note, “Coronabeth” is an outrageously funny name to me. Part “Corona,” Part “Annabeth.” Faintly portmanteau-ish. Almost reminds me of. It reminds me of. You know what webcomic this reminds me of by now

fuck it discord rant with no context (feel free to ask for context) about my last session

AAAAAAAAa

ok little context: mark and cassidy driving home from mission where the anarch party they were investigating got raided by camarilla so they have to take the long way home. also, mark juts got a text from sampson that they need to talk. otherwise good luck making sense of this if u havent heard mark rants before.

-

Mark learned: -Cassidy turned in 1853 california -loves older western movies, NOT spaghetti westerns except once upon a time in th west -loves detective novels; steven king -has larger goals that he doesnt want to say due to mark's sire having a short leash on him lol -guessed mark was about 5 years dead, mark told him it was less than a year. cassidy was pretty surprised lol -cassidy asked marks goals and what he wanted. mark talked abt goals of stability, and knowing whats going on in the city. talked around it but basically said he also wanted someone he felt he could actually talk to T_T This is what inspired lighter covnersation abtmovies and books -cassidy invited him to WATCH A MOVIE W HIM AT THE CINEMA LOVE WINS (NOT A DATE FOR SURE UNLESS?) -

Now its time to talk to sampson on the next night

due to something julius did mark has to shelter some anarchs in the sewers on his territory. he made it clear the SEWERS only. theyve been moving in.

anyway marks goes to the bar. theres some sketchy ppl outside .oh god. anarchs not listening to directions? THATS CRAZY. Anyway the bar is closed early. it has blinds. many locks. sampson lets mark in and is like. dude. wtf are these people around. ive been seeing htem around and we figured out they were vampires and you said htis place would be safe?? i cant keep doing this???

he's like i know its not all always your fault or things happen in spite of you but what am i supposed to do? i cant live like this again? what am i supposed to do?? And marks just like look anarchs have been moving in city wide ill deal with this and . sampson presses and hes like deal with them how. and marks like IDK kick them out? kill th- and sampsons like YES KILL THEM you killed that one random person cant you kill kindred on your territory?

like OOF that 1 ONE murder lives in his head dsakjfsfdkjds

he's crying, also, ends up saying 'after all this i dont want to talk to you again, i know you bring me stuff to keep me alive' and then be breaks down MORE like REALLY sobbing

so mark gives him a little time to compose himself. then gets all cold and is basically like. so be it. ill still have to see you monthly, but we can try to limit it. but then sampsons like. "I dont know. I just. dont know what to do. i cant sleep with these guys out there all the time" and mark is like "do you want me to deal with them right now?" and smaspons like "yes" so. mark leaves to deal with them!

he grabs piece of shit tony who is supposed to be helping manage this territory. tony says the guys claimed he invited him there, so mark has to explain how they are allowed in the sewers but no where else. and that he wants the three in front of the plaza dealt with Tonight. they work out a deal. tony drives around collecting ghouls and plays this song.

the ghouls are wearing ski masks and have various weapons. he assigns them an order. and turns up the music and they start FUCKING those guys up. first guy modified his glock to be semi automatic? one gets downed immedaitely. 3 other ghouls approach with melee weapons. one gets killed sadly but all the kindred who were loitering by the bar get torpored in short order. Tony is pissed and yells at a corpse about whose gonna pay to replace his ghoul? Ooffff. but yeah mission done. tony says to mark to get out of his car.

He does so. returns to bar. SESSIONEND

SESSION END!

THEY WERE ABOUT TO GET TO TALK! im sure they are shook by the Incredible Violence outside but whatever

DSLKFJDSLFSD

What are your most unpopular opinions on Descendants as a whole?

Idk how popular/unpopular a lot of my opinions are, but here are a few that I think are unpopular haha:

1) I like Mal. Yes even when she’s making bad choices, which she certainly does. I like that she’s a messy protagonist & even tho I prefer a lot of things about her book characterization I also lowkey still like the movie version of her. I know people say Dove was phoning it in especially in D3 but I think she did a really good job in D1 & D2; at the beginning of D2 she did a believable enough portrayal of a stress-based mental breakdown that I’m convinced Dove was drawing from personal experience. When you can see her zoning out every time no one’s talking to her directly bc she’s mentally working through a checklist of everything she needs to do—I’ve been there. Mal was sleep deprived & living on sheer willpower & fear of failure and Dove crushed it in terms of portraying that experience.

I’ll admit that I’m biased bc I am not immune to Dove Cameron in purple hair & studded jackets, I relate to Ben bc I too would abuse my position of power just to make Mal happy oop

2) I like beast!Ben okay I did not like the makeup job but I did like the character design & I think if they were gonna have him do stupid shit like roaring in D2 when overwhelmed/stressed about the fight with Uma or physically shake water off of himself like a dog then we could’ve gotten more than him being beasted by a spell for 2 minutes (even tho the FX makeup did Not hold up well on camera). Also they were cowards for using the magic lake super soaker to mostly break the spell, every single version of Beauty and the Beast that refuses to show a human/beast kiss on screen is made by cowards. This was the only spell in D3 that was broken in this way & they did that specifically bc they were cowards. Mal should’ve broken the spell by kissing him in the first place I don’t care if it’s weird

Given the slightest inclination I would’ve made a beast!Ben au anyway but I only initially started writing down any of it out of spite

3) I don’t love that Mal spelled Ben but I still ship Bal. I support & enjoy other ships with both of the characters (Malvie, Bevie, core four all together, etc) but I am a Bal shipper at heart. And I think Ben proposing with a callback to Did I Mention was really cute okay, yes that’s salt in the wound for Audrey but just on its own it was a really cute & romantic way to propose & I love it

4) Ig the really unpopular thing, going off of the prev one, is this: I don’t think Audrey & Ben were ever actually in love. I think they were friends & them dating was something that Audrey was encouraged to do & Ben went along with, & I think as much as Audrey absolutely was unfairly humiliated in front of her peers she was more upset at losing the crown than Ben. Ben still owed her an apology & an explanation once he broke Mal’s spell; it wasn’t his fault that he embarrassed Audrey while under the influence of a spell but it was pretty cowardly & lame of him not to own up to it right away & instead just use the spell as an easy out from the relationship. But I still don’t think Audrey & Ben were ever in love. As a Bal shipper, I am definitely biased about this.

Also, I’m not opposed to anyone shipping Audrey with Ben! I think it’s cool that all of us can see this same franchise & come away with so many different ideas & opinions

So those are my hot takes lol. Overall I just enjoy Descendants as the beautiful garbage fire it is & I don’t have super strong opinions about ships or anything, I just like playing in the sandbox :)

Hello! I can't really remember this coming up in the time I've followed you, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. What's your favorite horror novel?

It hasn't. =)

That is a difficult question! I am going to yammer about it.

My favorite genre of horror is Gothic, and most of what I've read in it consists of short stories by Edgar Allen Poe (as it is all the horror I was allowed to read growing up), which I could never pick between.

I loved Clive Barker's Hellbound Heart, but I haven't had a chance to read any of his others. I rarely buy books for myself, as I don't have a lot of money to do that, so what I have is largely from gifts. (I can't borrow from the library, or friends anymore, it takes me too long to read things now that I'm writing)

A lot of my personal library is fantasy, sci-fi and absurdist takes on those subjects. Oh, there were the ones by David Wong, which are absurdist horror. Also the Welcome to Nightvale books. I do love all of those.

I've tried to read a few by Stephen King but a lot of his leads bother me and I lose interest before the horror really begins. I will keep trying though, he has so many there's bound to be one I like(I made it through It under the power of spite alone and then I gave it away because I hated it and wanted it out of my house).

But! You wanted favorite and I am realizing I don't have a favorite.

I do have a recent horror novel that I thoroughly enjoyed though, one that took place on the ocean even (which is a phobia of mine).

It is titled "Rolling in the Deep" and is by Mira Grant.

It had its faults, and I agree with the one who lent it to me that the ending was disappointing, but the atmosphere was superb. It was tense and bloody and did not hold its punches...until the end.

So that's what I have. A recommendation (or more if you haven't heard of the others up there). >.<

For the character ask thing, N Pokemon, Ingrid Fire Emblem, and or Ashe Fire Emblem. :3c

I already got more than one N in my ask box so I’ll just do the fire emblems

Ashe

First impresson

For the very little I played of Three Houses in 2019, I remember liking Ashe when I briefly talked to him while he was in the greenhouse, and continued to think he was nice afterwards, which says a *lot* if you remember just how fucking much I blindly hated Fire Emblem for a while lol

Impression now

DONNY ITS YOUR FAULT HES MY NEW BLORBO. I love him so fucking much I’d do anything for him he makes me happy when I feel down and I’m so fucking glad I gave Three houses a second chance just because of him

Favorite moment

There are so many moments. From him supporting Ingrid by gifting her that book, to him facing his fear for Annette when he was not asked to do so for the sake of her memories, to him eating Dedue’s meal and remembering his family, and how he learned to cope with his many family deaths with Cathrine’s support. I can include Three Hopes here too with him screaming at Yuri to stop stealing cause he hates seeing a friend in danger

…that was way more than I expected I probably should have just said “all of him” lol

Idea for a story

There’s definitely the supports I wanna write for him and my oc you know of, as well as more general stuff like his life post war, him remembering his passed loved ones years after they passed, and silly scenarios of him in the academy during the pre timeskip

Unpopular opinion

Idk if it’s a hot take, but Cathrine does not make a good romance ending with Ashe. Just feels unhealthy as hell (though I can ignore it thankfully)

Favorite relationship

Him and the bitch below his list/affectionate

Also I don’t mention them enough, but Dimiashe is criminally underrated, AsheDue is god tier too

And ig my oc that is very much borderline oc x canon at this point

Favorite headcanon

*slaps transmasc onto him and also smacks on autism*

Ingrid

First impression

Considering my hatred of fire emblem for a few years, if I did see her it would have been spiteful for a while lol. I’m mature now I promise

Impression now

DONNY THIS IS ALSO YOUR FAULT I love her sm, if there are no more Ingrid fans then I’m dead I’d never give up on her and I refuse to let her die

Favorite moment

Might be a strange one…but her death line, I actually heard it for the first time today, and not only does the line destroy me, but her VA. God her VA crushed it. When a piece of media actually gets me to cry you KNOW its good (I’m good dw lol)

Also obligatory mentioning her and Ashe supports

Idea for a story

100 gay things with Ashe, as well as stuff with helping her land prosper and sibling activities with Felix (since they are very sibling core to me)

Unpopular opinion

Ingrid haters don’t know how to read, that’s all ill say so I don’t get torn to shreds by elaborating

Favorite relationship

Her and the bitch above. Also something between her and Sylvain must have happened even if it went nowhere

Favorite headcanon

GENDER-FLUID/GENDERQUEER INGRID 4EVER. Also raw beef enjoyer

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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188. Evil Eye by Etaf Rum--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have a very short list of literary authors that I know are auto-reads for me--Etaf Rum is one of them. I don't know what sorcery Rum has over words, but her stories always seem to pull me in so completely. I feel so many emotions whenever I read one of her books and my only wish is that more people I know would read her books so I can discuss these books with them.

EVIL EYE begins with a mother who is starting to feel the weight of her married life and motherhood. While she definitely doesn't regret her daughters, she is starting to feel incredibly unsettled in the life fate has carved out for her. She vowed to never follow in her mother's footsteps and even though, on the surface, her husband presented himself as wholly different from her father, she is starting to realize that maybe, just maybe she hasn't made such different choices in her life than her mother.

First off, I want to comment the irony that we, as women, are sometimes truly cursed to find men who resemble our fathers. Some are lucky and others tend to find men who personify the lesser qualities in the fathers some women are trying to escape in the first place. But going off that, Rum also explores the complexities of family and how much we yearn for their approval and love even when THEY are the ones causing us harm.

Secondly, there is such a hopeful friendship in this book that I wasn't expecting at all. Whereas there was so much loneliness in Rum's previous novel, there is the hope of companionship in this one. I expected it to go one way, but I was so happy that she didn't go that route. It made the story feel wholesome in a way that the MC didn't get to experience during her home life.

I am not a part of this culture, so I honestly can't comment on the customs and the expectations. If I were to comment on that, it would be commentary on cliches and I'm not here for that. The way the MC reacted to everyone else making assumptions about her life based on her culture's cliches is enough of a warning that it is so easy to make uneducated assumptions. Sometimes all we have to do is read the story and hope that the MC finds what is best for her, regardless of her culture and its expectations.

Finally, though I do not have the same life the MC has, I found myself empathizing so much for her. There were times where I wanted to throw the book in anger on her behalf, and other times where I audibly gasped with the audacity of the caucasity of people, or the audacity of her asshole husband. The MC, despite the gaslighting and the condescension, navigated herself and her situation to the best of her abilities. She was such a strong character and I loved her not in spite of the flaws everyone else (including herself) saw in her, but because of them. She was imperfectly perfect and so relatable. She fought to understand herself and what she wanted.

I loved this book. I got angry, I wanted to cry, I laughed, and I was rooting for the MC all the way through. Another amazing read from Rum. I absolutely can't wait for her next book!

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189. My Fault by Mercedes Ron--⭐️⭐️

I won't lie, MY FAULT had me at the beginning. I love stories that have an MC move into a rich household because their parent remarried. I love stories with dual perspectives because it gives me a more rounded storyline. The beginning of this book felt very much like PAPER PRINCESS, minus the strip club and multiple brothers to be hellions towards the impoverished MC.

PAPER PRINCESS was messy, but it was a good and addicting mess. This was just...a mess.

MY FAULT was so insta-love that I got whiplash. It was the kind of over-the-top romance I would have read in my early twenties. It was toxic, a little too quick, and a little too easy when the relationship was discovered? It also reminded me of this KDrama I watched once where you never knew what ridiculous thing would happen next because they just felt so out of place.

Halfway through this book, we go from reading a bully stepbro romance to a suspense, potential stalker thriller novel. I get the infatuation with this, I do. But I do think that a resurgence of these books is a little worrying. At least it wasn't as bad as the kissing booth. LOL.

Will not be reading the sequel.

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190. Field of Screams by Wendy Parris--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

FIELD OF SCREAMS was another satisfying middle grade horror novel that featured a lot of the things I love in horror: The jump scares, the spooky moments, the new friends that help you solve the horror mystery, and the depth of emotion and exploration of character that well-written horror features. Parris' novel introduces a main character who is not only experiencing a sense of loss because she doesn't get to spend her summer with her best friend, but she's also still processing her grief over the loss of her father. We see this in her hesitancy in letting her mother potentially date a new man and start a new life. As the MC grows around this topic, we also see her exploring a ghostly mystery that appeared to have also consumed her father when he was a child. I thought this was such a sweet and haunting way of dealing with one's grief. I really enjoyed that aspect of how even though the MC feels alone, she has the memory of her father and this mystery to help overcome her anger and disappointment. I normally dislike how parents condescend to their kids in books like this because it feels like the adult author is inserting themselves into the story as a parent themself. It frustrates me because its an insertion of logic and meanness that so many older parents seem to hold against their children's experiences and imaginations. I think that Parris did a good job with this topic because it all leads up to an explanation as to why the parent was so dismissive and even angry with her child, the MC. Overall, I thought this was one and nicely spooky. The setting was really well done and the characters added life to the story. This felt very much like a great summer read for the young reader who wants a spooky summer story with heart. There's the pivotal middle grade crush, the mean girl who is experiencing her own form of grief, and parents who seem to just not get it. I recommend this for readers who love horror--but especially for any young reader who is also experiencing a harder emotional time in their life.

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191. Top Story by Kelly Yang--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I think this is my favourite FRONT DESK novel yet! I loved the setting and the exploration of the different topics that are always so impactful in Yang's stories.

We get to see various events happening and a surprising arc for our young MC, which just shows us how much she's grown, not just as a character but also as a person. We also see her continuous spirit that makes her such a memorable and important character for young readers to get to know. She fights against the injustices in her world and the racism she faces.

One of the main things I always love about these books is how Yang doesn't shy away from the bigotry and the racism that even children face, no matter whether this is a historical novel, or in her more contemporary novels.

I love this series and I think the books are incredibly inspiring. This is a must-read for fans of Yang and immigration stories from a kid's perspective as they navigate their ever-changing and expanding world. Also, LOVED the exploration of family and culture in this one because it was very eye-opening to learn about the customs and love found in a China Town!

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192. The Revenge of Seven by Pittacus Lore--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a great and emotional follow up to the last book, which had a heartbreaking ending. I really appreciated the exploration of grief and how it can look so different from person to person. And even as this topic is explored, we still see the same kickass moments and the connections between all of these characters. We also get another piece to the puzzle of what is coming next.

I'm super excited to pick up the next book in this series!

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193. Video Night by Adam Cesare--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really enjoyed this one by Cesare! It wasn't a perfect read, but it's honestly such a perfect Halloween season book. It was a lot darker than CLOWN IN A CORNFIELD and had a lot more Scary movie tropes, which is also incredibly fitting because it's set in the 80s, some of the best years of spooky films.

Keeping the fact that this is set in the 80s in mind also helps combat the misogynistic ideas that the characters had in this book. It all felt like it was genuinely taking place in that decade and it felt like I was watching a movie with all of these creepy moments. There were some serious jump scares and I remember questioning my life choices when I was reading this in the middle of the night.

If you enjoyed INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, I think you'd like this. It's bloody, creepy, full of funny moments, and teenage hormones. Highly recommend!

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194. I Survived Hurricane Katrina by Lauren Tarshis--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really enjoyed this one!

Getting to know the family and the friends of the MC helped give this addition to the series a more rounded feel. Especially when we hear about the hope and belief people had regarding the magnitude of Hurricane Katrina. Overall, this was an enjoyable and truly terrifying read in the sense that it actually happened to people and so many lives were lost.

I did mention in one of my last reviews of one of these books how unrealistic some conclusions were. Trust me, I want happy endings for all of these kids, but I think this sometimes does these stories a disservice. Kids can handle the realities better than adults give them credit for.

Anyway, another fun book read in this series. I don't know if it will be my last since I'm starting to grow a little jaded with this series.

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195. Look Both Ways by Linwood Barclay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Although this was a very different Barclay story than his past works, I really enjoyed it. I liked the suspense of seeing what the cars would do next, and who the real villains in this story were--especially because with Barclay there are always a million layers and players leading up to surprise twists and reveals that we never anticipated.

I immediately thought that this book reminded me of that John Marrs book that featured rogue self-driving cars, but that's where the similarities end. These cars seemingly had their own personalities and I had to suspend my disbelief a bit. Despite all of that, I found the survival moments fun and not knowing what would happen next enough of a push to keep me reading.

I wouldn't recommend you start your Barclay adventures with this one, but it was a fun and quick read that will definitely keep a reader entertained.

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Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

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Happy reading!

I can’t possibly do this book justice in writing about it. It’s tied (with Human Acts) for my favorite book of 2022. I know this book is stylistically an inevitable favorite: it’s my preferred genre (realistic literary fiction), and it seems deliberately written for someone who derives glee from every literary allusion and who is waiting to draw intricate plot deductions (sometimes people try to get me to stop analyzing things I read/watch because “doesn’t that take the fun out of it?” No, that’s exactly where the fun is, I respond). While these characteristics certainly describe me and what I find most rewarding in literature, I’m not, however, a gamer, and I probably missed the joy of many allusions to games and gaming. Given the book’s masterful literary self-awareness, surely gaming is treated with similar deftness. In spite of this, I gained a new appreciation for the world-building of gaming, caught up in the incredible narratives and aesthetics, the haunting liminal space of the game world, the attention-to-detail in development (of Ichigo in particular). 

From its early chapters, Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow leans on excellent prose and thorough, measured character development to succeed. The first half of the book lulls the reader into a false sense of security, sliding backward and forward in time as it develops the central characters of Sam and Sadie, as well as the figures who surround them: Anna Lee (Sam’s mom), Marx (roommate and producer), Zoe (Marx’s girlfriend), Sam’s Korean grandparents, Ant and Simon (dynamic, young techie couple), Sadie’s sister Alice, and Sadie’s Jewish grandmother Freda. These early chapters have some clever and thoughtful reveals in the plotting: we have to infer that Sam’s broken and mashed foot was the result of the car crash that killed his family, through their absence in these hospital scenes; there is the reveal of Anna and Sam’s hasty departure from New York for L.A. as another Anna Lee leaps to her death; we also confront the truth of Sadie’s depression (an abortion she had just before Sam reappeared in her life). These early chapters gather strength through realism. 

Sam and Sadie are deeply flawed, incredibly relatable characters. As a brilliant young woman at MIT, Sadie struggles through her college relationship with her professor Dov (truly the worst, and the only character with whom I never sympathized). Sam sees in his reunion with Sadie the potential for a collaboration that will revolutionize the gaming world, and pursues reconnection after having cut her from his life when they were kids. Marx installs himself as perpetual cheerleader, and self-sacrificing friend, while also being a bit of a playboy who stays friends with all his exs through sheer charm and good will. Each character is, in turns, deeply relatable and utterly exasperating. These characters are real in their contradictions: Sam’s stubbornness about his disability and his refusal to let this define him (almost to a fault, as he risks his life, and lashes back at those who have his best interests at heart), Sadie’s fearless pride in making her holocaust-focused game Solution for her MIT classmates paired with her long-term fixation with securing Dov’s good opinion, Marx’s whimsical break-ups as he grows bored with people, yet loves Sam and Sadie unconditionally. It’s the time spent on characterization upfront that earns the devastating, beautiful second half of the book. 

In the second half of the book, so many details from the first half (details that were seemingly trivial) return to the forefront. This seems less plot-driven and more a perspective on realism—focusing on the way we make meaning of our lives, holding onto and romanticizing particular moments and memories, imbuing objects with sentiment, relying on language to fills empty holes we cannot imagine ourselves falling into, yet do. 

The section that vaults this book into life-changing, transcendent territory is the section called NPC. In a point of view shift from the rest of the book, this section is entirely first-person POV for Marx Watanabe. The character who has played third-wheel to Sam and Sadie throughout their professional relationship (and their complex, interwoven friendship, as well as Sadie and Marx eventually falling in love) suddenly takes center stage. It’s an apt metaphor. All of Marx’s theater background comes to bear, as he gets, for once, to play the main role. Later, after his death, Sadie immortalizes him in a game she designs, where the role of Macbeth is played by a tall handsome asian man (when Marx, in real life, was relegated to the role of Banquo). As Marx’s death story unfolds, interspersed with real-time events as he lies dying in a coma and moments from his complex history with his two closest friends, we receive a full reversal of ours and Sam’s expectations for the NPC. Sam calls Marx an NPC; we, too, dismiss him in comparison to the furiously vivacious Sam and Sadie for much of the book. Yet, the supporting role he played in life, and in death, is crucial, essential, and one of real agency. It’s our loss if we overlook the NPC. 

This section beautifully and poignantly reframes and repurposes the early sections of the book: from the reappearance of Sadie’s EmilyBlaster game in the moment Marx is shot to the titular reference (I was waiting for it!) about how Marx wanted to name the gaming company (ultimately called Unfair Games) after his understanding of the promise of retries and redoes imbedded in the concept of a game. This section is an exercise in literary mastery and plotting, a shocking record of the violence humans are capable of, and a tear-jerking account of a single and unique life. Even though I knew, before reading this section, that Marx had been shot to death in an active shooter scenario at Unfair Games, I was not expecting the realism of this scene. I felt inside it. I felt the brutality of what humans are capable of, and I felt how human (instead of inhuman) we are in the face of, and in the perpetuation of, violence. I bawled my way through this section of the book and felt exhausted, wrung-out, after reading it. Every moment was charged and deliberate—the placement of the story of Sam and Marx’s early roommate-bonding over a rehearsal of the scene of Banquo’s death in Macbeth to the way the men who bring guns to Unfair are seeking Sam, striking back against the diversity he has embraced as the emblematic Mayor of Mapletown who grants gay marriages far ahead of his time. 

The final section of the book is titled Freights and Grooves and connects to the Emily Dickinson poem quoted at the beginning of the book: 

That Love is all there is,

Is all we know of Love;

It is enough, the freight should be

Proportioned to the groove.

This mysterious poem—little, monstrous—is explored at the heart of the book. What is love that it must hurt us? But it never hurts us too much—the hurt love causes, the weight of it, carves just so deeply a change in us. Love’s no more than we can handle and exactly all that we can take. Or perhaps this poem means that any love is unknowable in portion to the impossible, unnamable nature of that love? To name love, to know it, is to simplify it to a point that it no longer resembles the love itself. In this book, I loved how, at each turn, the connection between Sam and Sadie is unique love, love that transcends lovers, traumas, hurts, and losing touch. It’s love that is unknowable and all-knowing, and every time Sam tries to name it, to force it into something more familiar, are the moments that show how that romantic love would be a weak approximation of the enduring love these characters share. 

since i love to watch you rant, i'll go with 18

- livvie (yes this is for the book recs ask game)

aha, i do love a rant it must be said lol

book rec asks

18. your least favorite book ever

there are so many in contention for this, but one comes top of mind. it's been years since i read it, but i truly truly despised blood meridian by cormac mccarthy.

even more so because i actually love cormac mccarthy and the way that he writes. the road is one of my all time favourites and no country for old men is truly phenomenal. he is one of very few classic us american authors that i can stand and actually sink into, but blood meridian was absolute fucking torture.

it's lauded so highly by circle jerking lit bros and i just...it just reminds me of the way that men will enjoy american psycho or fight club while completely missing the overarching themes. like they dont get the whole satire aspect of it, they just love the extreme violence and the appeal to their sensationalist brains.

it's just the flattest characters alive set against a backdrop of completely mundane violence, if that makes sense? like the violence is so extreme and so intense but it is treated so mundanely. and i know that these are the entire points of the book. the themes and thoughts behind the choices did not escape me, but i just cannot fucking stand it.

i get that it's meant to show that violence and these extreme negative things are often treated as just such mundane acts, especially considering the setting of the book itself in north america at that time when the genocide against first nations and native populations was incredibly active and state sanctioned. i get that. i just hate that it is. it feels almost more exploitative than anything. the point is that there is no point and i just....i just cant get down with that, generally. its the same reason i didn't enjoy the tropic of cancer.

ill cap it there because my memory of that book is generally spotty, but reading it did feel like torture even in spite of mccarthy's excellent prose.

runners up for least favourite book are: the fault in our stars, and any poetry by amanda lovelace

+*:ꔫ:*About A Dowry of Blood...*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ

Hello!! I read a Dowry of Blood by S. T. Gibson some time last year... I finished reading it as of the 9th of March, 2023--and the book hasn't left my mind... though I can't say it's in a necessarily positive way,, ★★☆☆☆ - 2/5 Stars

268 Pages

Warning for spoilers under the cut...! Please remember to be nice, as this is just my opinion and is in no way a reflection of anyone or anything,, :>

A Dowry of Blood is [or was]... a very conflicting and interesting read to me. It's so well-loved from many reviews and commentaries that I was... sorely disappointed with this read.

I'm not usually one to enjoy writing my own spiteful reviews, but with something leaving this sort of taste in my mouth, I feel it's better to drop my ideas somewhere and see where it takes me. I am not a published author, nor will I ever be.

The prose is gorgeous,,, to a fault. There comes a point when I'm reading that I realize the ebb and flow of words are becoming—simply put—redundant. And I notice, the more I read, that the prose is making up for something, with its five-dollar words that aren't used to the fullest narrative potential—and budding but not yet flowering flow.

The prose is used to cover for a lack of plot and research. Backgrounds seem to be painted on cracking plywood, still wet and ready to smear, only to be propped up unfinished, as if made for a school play.

That is to say, the writing doesn't exactly take me anywhere when I read. I don't feel the ground, or smell the food in the air, just as if I watched a play with poorly done backdrops,,,

As poetic as the prose may seem, when the time comes, 268 pages of the same kind of lines and slow drag will leave most people bored or unsatisfied. I found myself in the same position, dreading reading or even finishing A Dowry of Blood. Phrases and symbols would be miles longer than necessary, and dusted over, or properly ignored, important moments of their lives and what the characters had done as payoff.

The lack of research shows when someone with prior knowledge of Dracula and its origins reads this book. I had barely remembered this was supposed to be a story about Dracula and his spouses—the man himself was never mentioned by name and no references to the story of Dracula were ever brought up outside of about one singular paragraph.

The other two spouses, Magdalena and Alexi, should be full of culture, rich traditions, and unique movements—but they're not. No one is. Characters are flat, giving the feel of blank and square printer paper. I never saw any depth or reason to enjoy the characters or their relationships.

Constanta's actions were as questionable as the rest. Her lack of communication in her relationship paved the way for this story, but left a bitter taste in my mouth. Her actions were contradictory to her writings, and I could never properly connect with her. She felt fake and easy to poke holes in.

Dracula, never once fully named, was blank as well. I could see how this poses a literary narrative—one where Constanta never got to truly see who Dracula was—but leaving him so,,, baseless was also his downfall. I couldn't see a reason to root for or against him.

Alexi felt pushed, naive, and only so young, and it's difficult for me to find words to describe him other than this pushed—and almost stereotypical—character that someone has carelessly shaped him into. The author frequently mentioned his young age, but it never played a role in any conflicts. He felt like a fetish, something to only be looked at and enjoyed, and never got the treatment other characters would get, with him carelessly tossed in at the end.

Magdalena is also a character I can barely describe. I can't go much far past that statement, as she truly seemed to be filler, along with Alexi.

The romance never felt... there. With Constanta and Magdalena consistently calling themselves "sisters" as they would give their bodies to each other, and even Dracula calling his spouses "Children", it gave me no reason to see anyone truly being in love with each other. The advertising describes a rich polyamorous relationship, but I don't feel like that was ever truly shown. It felt more like watching affairs or some poor attempt at what one would think is polyamory.

A story that proudly boasts about its seductive and gothic themes, with violence and broken promises--proceeds to flinch away from these very themes, leaving me with a forgetful and overall unenjoyable experience. Revelations felt tired and all the same... and its exploration of abuse and its patterns was too simple and never fully explained.

A Dowry of Blood by S. T. Gibson is not a story I intend to reread. Its prose grows old and tired and gives way to a slow and uneventful read. This book took me over a month to finish, when I can usually finish a book of equal or bigger length in only a few days.

First weeks in Mexico City have been exciting, emotional, and enchanting. What a place! And being able to reconnect with family while here has also been very good for me. As we learn more about our cultural history, we learn more about ourselves, don't we?

I've been meaning to start blogging again since arriving, but admittedly have been so distracted (in both good and challenging ways) while in Mexico City, that somehow the time is already getting away from me. That last part of the sentence is the way I learned recently that a Mexican might gladly use the much-embraced passive voice. I didn't forget, but rather the time got away from me. Not my fault. Time's fault.

I'll do better to blog more and post more photos of my current adventures here while working on a book project with my partner, Baylen. We are doing short-term travel in Mexico for the next several months to continue to research and begin writing a book draft of a novel based on my experiences living here in 1982, when it was still known as the D.F. I moved here then from a suburb of Baltimore, Maryland. It's a fictional memoir, if you like. Back then, we didn't end up living here for more than 9 months, but the experience of living here at 11 years old, a very formative period of development, left so many strong impressions on me that have been brewing in my mind for years. It feels like the time to share them more widely now. And so with the partnership of my life partner, we're working on a story.

While here, in addition to the book research and writing, I've decided to spend time improving my Spanish and immersing myself in some creative endeavors. Last week, I took a week-long conversational Spanish class with the wonderful folks at Spanish in the City, where I got to meet some other cool travelers and learn from some stellar teachers. Last week I also started an 8-week long mini-fiction or flash fiction class with Prof. Armando Alanis at the beautiful Centro de Creación Literaria Xavier Villaurrutia. And next month, I'm scheduled to take a pottery class at Taller Contorno, where I will get back in touch with clay and take a deeper dive into the wheel experience. I first took ceramics class in college and then again about 20 years ago, so very excited to embrace this art form again.

In addition to seeing all the city has to offer, I also have spent some time with family who live just outside of CDMX in the small and pretty town of Tlaxcala. It was a great visit and fun to see family, some of whom I hadn't seen for over 20 years or never met in person, and I enjoyed the quieter overnights compared to the bustle of the capital. Life moves slower there and there is much less development. The winding bus ride allowed me vistas of the volcanoes closest to Mexico City, including El Popo that is currently making its presence known again.

I commit to posting more often over the next several months as I travel. After Mexico City, our plan is to head to the Yucatan Peninsula and have some adventures there at the beach and in the jungle. But for now, we are enjoying and settling into a good routine here in CDMX. It's really a lovely, albeit immense place, and I feel lucky to have been able to make the time to take this career sabbatical and embrace more creative projects now.

A few highlights of my time in Mexico City so far & in no special order:

Learning that for decades I was likely speaking Spanish grammatically incorrect in spite of speaking it since I was a child. Until last week I never took a formal class and learned by doing, that's for sure. I just spoke based on what I learned from family and neighbors. Never too late to learn and grow, so it's all good. I appreciate that I'll now practice correct Spanish grammar regularly.

Realizing I can't have enough mole, quesadillas, guavas, or atole. The food here is spectacular even from the most modest of vendors. And talk about baked goods! Some of the best bakeries I've been to while traveling, including in Europe.

Appreciating that Mexico City has more parks and green spaces than I ever knew as a kid. I honestly never saw that side of the city much when we lived here in the early 80s. Walking the main tree-lined streets is a treat. Chapultepec is a natural wonder on its own!

Enjoying my favorite cantina in this city.

Embracing that ice cream is taken very seriously here. This classic spot near where I'm staying is already my favorite.

Question: If you know me, you know fragrance and smell are very important to me. I'm a big lover of perfumes. So why hasn't scented toilet paper really taken off in the U.S? It's a very pleasant surprise and now feels essential to me.

The photo at the top of the post is from the early 70s on one of my first trips to Mexico City with my mom (in the fashionable lilac). I don't know what I was crying about, but I do love my facial expression here. I do nothing else better than to wear my heart on my sleeve sometimes. Unrelated and ICYMI, here is the Spotify playlist I created for inspiration to work on my current book project. It's music I recall hearing while living here in 1982. Hasta pronto!

Until next week!

A 16 year old me and her second biggest pain

A copy of Wuthering Heights, and a brand new notebook with the beginning of a love letter still lingering in it. Its been a week since I last saw him. Him, him, him. I cant say his name anymore, and I prefer not to think it either. It doesn't feel as if its been a week. It feels as though maybe its been two or maybe even three very long painful dragging weeks. I suppose I've forgotten to he is to begin with. I've gotten so wrapped up in who he had become and who I was becoming because of his changes that I forgot who he was in the first place. He’s oblivious, always has been, and perhaps always will be. I was the one who made Him aware of things, but I’m not there anymore, and He’s on his own. I feel as if He’s lost again. But maybe I made Him lose himself by making him aware. What if it is all my fault He became the way he did? I hope not. I see all my faults. It is not as if I didn't before, but now I see how they slowly ruined things. He may have ended it, but i know i started the beginning of the end. I know we wouldn't have lasted very long once summer came to an end. He is leaving for Europe for two months, who knows if we could have lasted through that time either. I now see how what we had would never be permanent. But in the moment, it felt as if we would last forever. ‘My first love, and my last’ I had often told myself, I believed it, but I secretly know it was just a hope, and not a promise.

He has my book. My copy of Jules Vernes ‘Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea’. I gave it to him for Christmas, a note hidden in the inside cover with the date and a small piece of my love hidden with it. I want it back. I have his clothes, the ones I wore to feel most loved and most comfortable, the ones I used to wear as if they were a badge of honor. They now sit in a bag in my closet, along with the stuffed animals he gave me. The ones that I would hug when I missed him, the ones that made me think of him and the ones that made me feel loved. I need to give them back. I wanted to mail them to his mom, just out of spite. But now, I have so many questions to ask, that I want to give them in person, just so i can ask him questions. I always need to know too much. I want to ask, “Have you moved on? Are you mad at me? Do you believe me when I told you I didn't block anyone?”. But if I mail the clothes I have to live with the burden of the ‘what if’s’ and ‘do you’s’. Im too curious. I don't know anything anymore. I used to know everything he thought. I guess I've singled out the most important questions, and I have this undying need to ask them. But I know that if I see him all of the pain will come flooding back, all of the anger and sadness and love. Ill spend this month away from him, but if I give his clothes back in person, Im afraid it will feel as if no time had passed. Im afraid I will want to run back to him. Now it just comes to what I value more: my sadness or my curiosity. What if I ask him something and when he answers it simply just makes me more upset. Maybe I am better off never knowing. But what if I forever live with the uncomfort of not knowing? Maybe not knowing is in fact better. I wish I could talk to him, and when I did he would not ignore me. But he needs space from this. He promises to help me with math, and maybe thats the only time i will talk to him now. And that will be okay. It isn't now, but I know it will be eventually. Everyone has a first love, and almost every time it ends in heartbreak. People say I will think about it one day with no resentment, no anger, and no sadness. But that day is not today, and that day will not be soon. I wish I knew when that day would come. Today it feels as if the day is never coming. As if I will always feel as if someone is sitting on chest, and making me feel like im going to die any minute now. But I have moments where I forget. The moments come more and more as the days go on. It hasn't even been a week since the split. It HAS been a week since I last saw him, but right now that feels irrelevant to me. I don't want to try to move on as fast as possible, because then its just going to come back and crash and everything will break and fall apart because I failed to put it together properly the first time. I worry Ill move on, but not to the point where I can see myself being okay with him seeing other people. I don't think he will start dating anyone. Hes leaving for europe in two months, and then going to college. He doesn't have time to build something with anyone. And hopefully it will take him a while to find someone in college, as he does need to find himself first. Im not looking for anything, although its not as if i ever was. Everything happens for a reason right? That is what everyone says when something bad and unearthing happens to them in order to convince themselves it will be better in the future. Who knows anything. No one knows the answer. The past days have been filled with so many ‘i don't knows’ and ‘why’s’. And i hate it i hate it i hate it. I hate that i have this undying need to know everything. Even if it hurts me. I hate that im so self destructive. At least im finally self aware. Now i stop myself, I think before I do. Thats new for me.  What if I go looking for something, and find it, or maybe I find something even worse. I don't know so many things. This is 3% of my life so far. And it will become less and less and less as time goes on. Despite all the pain I feel, I have never been more optimistic.

She was Princess Aurora, in lilac and rose-pink sequins and a dainty silver tiara. She sparkled like pink champagne.

M.A. Kuzniar, Midnight in Everwood

I love your takes on twilight, do you have recommendations for other books?

Sure!

I'll divide this into authors, titles, and playwrights, since there are some authors I blanket recommend, and reading a play is very different from reading a book.

Also, wrote this one on the fly so there are probably many I missed, but now you have recs.

Authors:

Agatha Christie Christie is remembered by most for her ability to create compelling mysteries and zany detectives, but she had many other qualities. Chiefly among them, her ability to create amazing characters. Recommended works: And Then There Were None. Ten seemingly random people are gathered on an island, and start dying one by one. Crooked House. The usual Christie dysfunctional family, one of my favorites. One of Christie's as well. Curtain. Poirot finds the perfect murderer. Ordeal by Innocence. Two years earlier, a murder was committed. The victim's son was convicted of the crime, and hanged in spite of his insistence that he has an alibi, guys!! Totes!! Well, cut to present day, and the alibi hears about this case, realizes "whoopsie doo, that was me, wasn't it. Well I better tell the family they sent their brother to the gallows and the culprit is still alive and most likely one of them. I love doing good deeds like that. :)" The Mirror Crack'd. One of Christie's later novels, this one is among my favorites for its character creation. It has a very good sideplot of old lady detective Miss Marple finally getting the kind of old where she's not just a zany old lady, but old as in can't live alone and people tell her all the things she can't do, and she's furious about it.

Amalie Skram Radical feminist 19th century realist author. Particular titles I recommend include: Forraadt (Autobiographical novel about a young woman completely unprepared for the horrors of marriage. Places a magnifying glass on the hardships upper-class woman had to endure in their marriage) Professor Hieronimus (A woman reluctantly agrees to submit herself to an asylum, as she has been very stressed lately. The psychiatrist proceeds to gaslight her into thinking she's crazy, her husband believes the psychiatrist over her, she realizes she's not getting out anytime soon. Also autobiographical, because Skram's life was terrible.) Hellemyrsfolket (Follows an impoverished family in Bergen. Asks the question of whether poor life choices are the fault of society or the individual. For instance, first novel, the patriarch has stayed sober and hard-working against all odds, he'll keep this family afloat or so help him god. The novel proceeds to break his spirit.) Skram's translated works might be hard to get your hands on because to my knowledge she's not well known outside of Norway.

Philip K. Dick Hard sci-fi author. Insanely talented man, the kind of mind I aspire to have. A Scanner Darkly (an undercover policeman develops a drug problem and an identity crisis) Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (Features the age-old question of where real ends and synthetic begins)

Victor Hugo VERY loquatious. However, he's so charming when he babbles on and on that you kind of just have to love him for it. I can recommend: Quatre-vingt-treize (historical novel, set during the French revolution.) Les misérables (about miserable French people.)

Titles:

Albertine by Christian Krohg This realist novel about a young, honest woman whose downwards spiral leads her to prostitution sparked a debate about the treatment of prostitutes in Norway and led to changed legislation in their favor.

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis Not for the faint of heart, but if you think you can do it then knock yourself out with this insane book.

Candide by Voltaire A satirical anti-war, anti-everything novel about a very candid man named Candide, who travels the world and finds that it's a ridiculously, over-the-top awful place. He remains optimistic through it all.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman Delightfully eerie story about a girl who discovers a sinister world almost identical to our own.

Dune by Frank Herbert Excellent, and while I haven't seen the Villeneuve film yet every interview I've read has given me the strong suspicion that the spirit of the book was lost on him. Read the book.

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman Not a perfect novel, but god it's utterly enjoyable. Impossible not to have a good time reading this.

His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman One of the few YA fantasy series I've read that I wholly and unabashedly loved. Inspired by Milton's Paradise Lost, featuring very interesting religious themes.

Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams SO MUCH FUN. No point in summarizing in part because I can't, this is just a fun, fun, quintology in three parts. If you like my sense of humor you'll love Hitch Hiker's Guide. It's a longer read, though.

Jerusalem by Selma Lagerlöf Penned by the first ever woman who won a Nobel prize in literature, this generational novel depicts the inhabitants of a Swedish village who form a Christian cult and decide to emigrate to Jerusalem. Inspired by a real events. Features seriously interesting characters, my favorite being the couple where the wife developed really bad post-parture depression and wound up committing infanticide, then when she gets out of prison the husband is waiting for her. "I still love you, babe. Let's have new kids."

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov Beautiful prose, excellent use of an unreliable narrator, horrifying story. Strong recommend.

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde Most people have heard of this one already, so I'll just say that it's a deeply funny book. Dorian Gray is awful, just awful, but delightfully so. Shoutout to poor Sybil Vane.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee Told from the point of view of a little girl, her sweet childhood takes a dark turn when a white woman is raped and a black man gets the blame.

Playwrights:

Euripides. He's the mastermind behind Medea and Bacchae, both of which I strongly recommend.

Henrik Ibsen. A master of writing about the ugliness just beneath the surface. Enemy of the People (Spielberg's movie Jaws is loosely based on it!), Vildanden, and Peer Gynt.

Ludvig Holberg. Erasmus Montanus: Rasmus Berg (Berg meaning "Hill" in Norwegian. VERY normal name.) returns from university, and he is Learned™ now so you may now refer to him only as Erasmus Montanus. He proceeds to be too intellectual to function throughout the play.

Shakespeare. Yeah yeah I feel like a tool, but... he's good damnit. Though my recommendation for him would be to watch a filmatization, as the language can be rather dense. In my experience it's better to know what happens in the play from watching it performed first, before you can really get much out of reading it. The Hollow Crown is a good filmatization of his king trilogies, The Merchant of Venice with Jeremy Irons is amazing, and Baz Luhrman's Romeo and Juliet remains the best Romeo and Juliet film I've seen. Also, sidenote - if English isn't your first language, DON'T make the same mistake I did of reading a translation, thinking that'll be easier.

Sophocles. Wrote the Oedipus Rex trilogy.

Other recs that come to mind are the Old Testament (there's nothing so fascinating as reading stories that date back three thousand years that have shaped our history) and The Cheese and the Worms by Carlo Ginzburg (a scholarly work outlining how an Italian miller named Menochhio formed his own cosmology).

Tagging @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin in case she wants to add to this.

u guys romanticise toxic relationships. look at manacled. it has such an abusive relationship that made me violently sick and its author marketed it as a "dark romance". disgusting. like that could ever be romance. it's so fucked up. the author's fucked. the people who enjoy it are fucked. your whole fandom is fucked up.

As someone who’s never read manacled, I could have deleted this off my inbox. But because I’m a spiteful, petty person who wants to screw you over, I decided to go read as many reviews, excerpts, and articles I could find about manacled.

What do you think “romance” means? The Notebook-style kissing in the rain? To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before?

Shockingly, that isn’t all what romance is. Romance is basically love, and there are many different kinds of love—not all of it is good and wholesome. Books about the complex natures of love and human nature and psyche don’t have to meet your standards of wholesomeness in order for them to be classified as romance.

Manacled is marketed as a dark romance, because it is a dark romance. It has the word “dark” right in front of it, and it is not senlinyu’s problem that you decided to ignore the word dark and focus on the romance bit.

Again, it is marketed as a DARK romance. DARK. DARK. You see the word? That means that the romance featured is neither romanticised nor one the author would support irl.

But, okay, let’s pretend that we never heard about the dark romance. Let’s just say we read the fic, and now we’re trying to understand if the relationship is really romanticised. From what I’ve gathered, Draco and Hermione have a very unhealthy codependent relationship, where one cannot exist without the other. One is a cold-blooded killer, one is someone who the other person has been sworn to kill.

Nowhere has it ever been portrayed like this a good thing. Nowhere has the author ever conveyed the message “hey this is a fun relationship, everyone should strive for this.” Nowhere has it ever been stated that this kind of dynamic is, in any way, healthy.

Senlinyu is not fucked up for writing Manacled. And, yes, some of the audience seems to have grasped a completely different point and like to gush about High Reeve Draco and his and Hermione’s relationship, but, again, that is just not senlinyu’s fucking problem, because it is not her fault how some of the readers interpret her words. People who enjoy her writing and the plot and storylines are not fucked up.

“it has such an abusive relationship that made me violently sick”. THIS. This made me SO angry, I just cannot express in words how mad I am.

You had a severe physical or mental relationship to the violence in Manacled. Okay, maybe you didn’t know you would react that way before, and you skipped past the trigger warnings on AO3 (Jesus Christ though, THOSE EXIST FOR A REASON. READ THEM). Somewhere in the fic, you got sick. And……you continued reading? For some unknown reason? And now you’re…….blaming the author? For writing it.

Again, I think we need a little perspective on this because I just cannot tell you how fucking idiotic you sound.

You see a container labelled “POISON—don’t drink”. You think “hey, maybe I won’t have a reaction to this”, and you take a few sips. You start feeling nauseous. Instead of stopping, you continue drinking, and finish the bottle. Now you’re extremely sick, and instead of blaming yourself for drinking something labelled poison, you’re blaming the manufacturers of the poison for…….making it.

Do you realise how ridiculous you sound, blaming an author for writing a fic you shouldn’t have read?

(@senlinyu I’m sorry you have to deal with idiots like these.)

Just some thoughts on second chances that I wrote the night of the CR campaign finale but forgot to post till right now. As such, it is a reflection on the campaign before the wrap up and I really don't feel like going through it to see if my opinion changed after the wrap up, so here ya go.

Spoilers for character arcs through out the campaign and episode 141 (as well as a Long Post) below cut

The Mighty Nein campaign has been a story of second chances and living beyond your past while staying true to who you are. And love...lots of it.

Fjord was a sailor who followed more than he lived for himself. Vandren showed him how to be a sailor and how to be the man he grew into and, in the end, he tried to become Vandren. Fjord's second chance came twice with a sword and a patron. His first second chance was a false start but one that let him reach his true self through trial, error, and struggle. His second second chance was a much softer beginning; surrounded by friends who loved him for all he was and could be, with a Goddess who cares at his back and a purpose of his own choosing to drive him. He found someone who loved him for who he was, not how he presented himself to the world.

In the end, Fjord is still a sailor but one who lives and loves on his own terms and fjorges his own way.

Jester lived a sheltered life but one full of love and chaos. It was never bad or one not worth living, but for her it was incomplete. Her mother hid her from the world with good intent but it left her naïve of the true nature of the world; books can only teach you so much about life and often it is a romanticized version. Jester's second chance came of her own making early on and yet took a long time to come to fruition. She locked that man on the balcony and, in the end, was shunted into a world she knew about in theory but was clueless of in practice: the real story her books were based on. She spent the campaign becoming disillusioned with the idea of story book love and life and yet found a real love and life along the way. 

Jester never loses her love of romance, stories, and fantasy but found the truth in them all the same that made life real.

Yasha lived a life given and taken from her against her will for many decades. Her clan dictated so much of her destiny that, when she chose to find her own pocket of happiness within it, said destiny was ripped from her along with that happiness. That loss became the chains that a new given destiny used to bind her against her will once more; her mind was taken as well as her life so that no pockets of happiness could be found again. Yasha's second chance came with Mollymauk, then the Mighty Nein, then Beau; choices upon choices that given destiny tried to take once more but, in the end, free will won. 

Yasha lost so much because of love–or rather because of other's reaction to said love–but love saved her in the end. She loved so hard, she found her own destiny, broke the chains that held her, and now her pockets of happiness are overflowing.

Beau's life was one of bucking the system and ignoring expectations. She was forced to live her father's regret and fear and rebelled hard against both. Her rebellion got her trapped by the system she tried to escape. That system taught her much and yet, when she was let loose from it, she rebelled once more. Anger and snark can only get you so far and, in the end, it was love and learning that got her farther. She thought her fists were her best quality but her mind was as sharp as her strikes and tongue. Once she let herself use it to its fullest, she cut through every mystery in her way. Beau’s second chance came through her friends and understanding how the world wasn't always out to get her and, when it is, it is possible to fight it in a way that changes the world and doesn’t just spite it. She grew into a friend, a lover, and a revolutionary; she went her own way and the system had to struggle to keep up with her. Closure she didn't know she needed was given to her but her second chance was something she made herself.

Beau is still angry and rebellious but she has a true family and influence to back it up. She allowed herself to be soft and it made her strong.

Caleb life was forged for him through pain–his own and others–and manipulation. He was naïve in a destructive way; loyal and trusting to a fault...but to the wrong man, the wrong cause. His trust got his parents killed and his life ruined. He didn't want a second chance–didn't think he deserved one–but one came to him anyway in the form of a wild group of chaotic idiots and love in many forms. It came in the form of his friends, of a chance to right wrongs–though not his own for the longest time–and in seeing himself in another and offering the forgiveness his new family offered him. It came in the form of an unexpected fight and a legal battle, both fought with his new family at his side. He got revenge for his old self, his old family and loves.

Caleb is not Bren–not truly...anymore–but Caleb can live with that. He found his purpose in making sure that no more Brens have to become Calebs and finding forgiveness and love–however bittersweet in the end–with his narrative foil and the friends who dragged him to redemption.

Veth is another who's life was taken from her. Yes, eventually by death but first by bullies. She was made to hate herself by the cruelty of society and, though she found love and happiness through that, she never let herself be all she could; she could only see what she was not. And Nott she became and she hated Nott. But love saved her; not love for who she used to be, nor who she could be in the future, but who she was right at that moment. It was the love of her friends, her husband, and herself that saved her. Her second chance was finding her way back to her first, but with an understanding of who she truly is; brave, true, smart, and a great mother.

Veth was Nott but she was not...not and by finding the truth in that statement, Nott became Veth. Veth chose the soft life once more in the end but this time of her own volition and it was her found courage that allowed her to do it. 

Caduceus is another sheltered soul but this time of his own choice, though he didn't really think of it that way. He thought he needed to wait for someone to tell him his purpose and he thought someone had when grieving chaos fell upon his doorstep. He helped them find vengeance and closure and that could have been it, but he stayed, sure that he was supposed to. In doing so, he found his family twice–both metaphorically in the Nein and physically at the Menagerie– and found both his purpose and his choice. He led another to salvation just by being himself and a good friend. Caduceus's second chance came by figuring out his given destiny was given by himself, by the adventure he found along the way, and the chosen purpose he found in the end.

Caduceus is the favorite of the Wild Mother and the best friend anyone could ever want, and he chose to be so by following the first chaos he found.

Essek life was, sadly by Dynasty standards, his own; he was not a lost soul given life once more but a new one given power. Knowledge was his driving force and it led to the ruin of many; He wasn't allowed to do what he wanted...so he did what he wanted anyway and it inadvertently started a war. He was okay with that, truly, until the Mighty Nein stumbled into his life and suddenly he was very much not. It was not a betrayal really–though he was definitely guilty of treason–but it was the loss of the Mighty Nein's trust that he feared the most and felt the most when he finally lost it, however briefly. He thought he has lost the only true family he had but really he had found a life to live. His second chance came when he chose to live that life.

Essek's life wasn't given to him so he took it for himself and it ruined him...but love built him back up and showed him that it was better to live life to change than it was to wallow in guilt.

Molly's life, in itself, was a second chance, though not one asked for by Lucien. He forged forward and made it his own. He loved and he created and he left everywhere he went better than when he got there. We never got to see the true end of his new start. Life is not always fair and not every second chance works out in the end...that is, until the end of Lucien. Molly fought to make his new life his own and how dare his original self try and tear down his progress!

Molly's second chance was cut short when he died for his friends and he died once more helping his friends make sure his first chance didn't ruin it.

Kingsley's life, again, was an enforced second chance, though one Molly would approve of. Molly didn't dwell on the past and neither will his brother, his new self. Kingsley saw the love in the Mighty Nein's eyes and never questioned it; all he asked was that he could learn it on his own. He woke up to chaos and love and he embraced it. Molly would have never wanted to be dwelled upon in a way that stifled change and Kingsley lived that. Kingsley's second chance came in the form of a new life and a new coat, but the same friends. He grew into his own self before learning what was taken from the group he had learned to love. The Mighty Nein could have seen him as Molly, could have tried to force him into the hole in their heart and he probably wouldn't have blamed them, yet he was Kingsley in their eyes and he loved them all the more for it. 

Kingsley's life lives true to Molly's ideas of the past: forget it and continue forward and live every second of it to the fullest. His second chance is in the works but he's not hesitating for one second.

The Mighty Nein were a group a fuck ups from the start; barely contained chaos which changed and grew and erupted at every turn. They were volatile at the beginning yet as ride or die as any adventuring party should be. They did not experience the world separately but as a team; each second chance a member got–whether it was sought after or not–was a chance to learn and grow together and grow closer. Their second chance came when a leetle teifling girl walked over to engage with a smelly man and a “halfling” and a purple man and an angel convinced them all to go to the circus

They will always be a chaotic bunch of assholes, no matter how far apart they travel, but now they are a family and nobody can take that from them.

i have spent the entirety of destiny's lifecycle simping for rasputin and getting made fun of for it by the friends i play the game with. despite taking a break from the game i frequently check r/destinylore to see if my boy's gotten back up. people see it as a testament to the darkness's strength that he got knocked out but i see it as a testament to rasputin's strength that he's the only one (i think) who survived the darkness's direct opposition. he's made to win and now he sees the way :)

Dude, I don’t know what your friends are on. Rasputin is one of the most fascinating characters in a lore that’s chock-a-block with great ones I mean FOR EXAMPLE: 

Rasputin is one of only four AI in all of Destiny and by far the most ubiquitous. If you played Destiny 1 - or if you play New Light - you literally wake up in his shadow. Rasputin runs subtle but ever-present in the background of our Guardian’s story. Even when he himself isn’t around, his assets and deeds affect us - his facilities, his weapons, his history.

Even during the Golden Age Rasputin was unique among AI. He’s always been exceptional - bigger, older, stranger.

Rasputin is one of only three Destiny characters to have faced Darkness directly...

...and Rasputin is the only major character to choose to turn aside from Darkness. He faced the Darkness, learned its philosophy of selfishness - of strength coming from solitude, from casting aside the weak, from prioritizing your own survival - put it into practice for centuries, and then changed his mind. He heard the Light’s pitch, he weighed the options, and he chose to move to Light’s philosophy. He opened up to alliance and cooperation, resuming his position as defender of the system. It’s such a cool story and it’s such a damn shame the Warmind DLC did a crap job of telling it.

He brought down the Almighty from a cave with a box of scraps.

He had the absolute balls to put a metaphorical gun to a god’s metaphorical head and tell it that if humanity went down he would make certain it went down with us.

He runs on some kind of crazy high-tech artificial elemental (Seraph) energy that shows up nowhere but in him and we still have no idea what it is or what it can do.

His very existence bothered Clovis Bray so much, which frankly should be classified as a public service.

He builds weapons so good they keep getting nerfed. The IKELOS 1.0.1 shotgun broke the weapon meta so badly guns got locked to elements. The 1.0.1 sniper got Box Breathing nerfed in like a week. Sleeper Simulant’s been nerfed at least 8 separate times (that is not hyperbole).

He was literally born from drama, aesthetic, and spite. He is the incarnation of “I lived bitch.” He probably still has 18 petabytes of Golden Age memes stashed away in a bunker and he uses them to drive the Vex insane.

They built him to be a war machine...and they failed. He fights because he thinks it’s his responsibility, but pre-Guardian Felwinter - who got to live the life Rasputin wanted to live - wasn’t a soldier. He spent his time learning. Painting. Listening to music. Reading books. Talking to people. Playing chess. Just living and participating in culture. He even died in a library. That schism between what Rasputin wants and what he thinks he has to do is fascinating.

Speaking of Felwinter, Rasputin created an entire person(!) from a fork of himself AND that person became a Guardian. A very good Guardian.

He witnessed firsthand what Darkness can do. He felt it during the Collapse. He saw it kill everyone he knew and cared about. He saw it, personally, in real-time, do things like stretch the entire moon Titan like a toy stress ball. He even admitted he was terrified of its return. But still when Darkness entered out system he stood against it anyway. He fired on it anyway.

He knows everything and he could be anything and he’s chosen to be a cranky old weirdo and I love him

Rasputin is unique in the pantheon of both Destiny personalities and factions. He’s the old man, the Tyrant, Big Red, humanity’s shield and sword, last survivor of the Golden Age. He exists on both grand and personal scales, speaking to a single human or to the Traveler or to the Darkness itself. Every faction in Destiny knows who he is, they’ve all tried to steal from him at some point, and most of them have come off the worse for it. 

Consider the Almighty. Not only is it the prize superweapon of an interstellar empire, but it’s also been used on many campaigns of conquest before us. Whatever civilizations Ghaul conquered must have thrown everything they had at the big laser holding their suns hostage, and all of them failed to take it down. It sustained damage in the Red War and hasn’t been repaired since, but it’s still a huge, very heavily-armored structure that’s survived multiple other civilizations’ do-or-die assaults. Not only did Rasputin succeed in destroying the Almighty, he succeeded using hastily-scrambled assets reactivated after centuries of disuse bodged together into brand-new weaponry on the fly.

I do see it as a testament to the Darkness’ strength that it disabled Rasputin, not because it was able to do so but because it disconnected a highly fault-tolerant networked intelligence nearly everywhere simultaneously. That points again to its ability to control fundamental principles of the universe. The Marasenna describes the vacuum of space becoming opaque to radio during the Darkness’ first attack, and doing something similar to rupture communication between all his warsats at once would be the clearest way to take Rasputin down. 

But it’s also a testament to Rasputin’s strength that Darkness bothered to extinguish him in the first place - because coming from Darkness, that’s a sign of favor. The Darkness believes the best thing you can do to someone is try to wipe them out, forcing them to evolve and change and get sharper. It took the time to speak to Rasputin face-to-face during the Collapse and saw Rasputin learn from it. Now it’s curious if that interesting little AI has learned enough; and indeed Rasputin managed to survive. He learned from Darkness’ first attempt. He’s learned from this second attempt. I have no doubt he’ll come back stronger. I have no doubt the Darkness will whisper to him again that his true strength would be found on its side, not ours. And I have no doubt he’ll defend us anyway.