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#i love fall but i can’t even think about it being winter rn it’s too depressing

hyuckbeam · 1 year

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red bean taiyaki

alternatively known as the time you found something sweeter than your all time favorite winter snack.

pairing | haechan x reader

genre | chilly season fluff because i wish it was cold rn

warnings | none

wc | 0.8k words

note | this is my first time writing on here so i hope this isn’t that bad ;^; constructive criticism and reblogs are very much appreciated!! have a wonderful day :>

“two orders of red bean taiyaki please!” best friend!haechan, yells out happily to the street vendor in front of you both —a few puffs of fog forming from his hot breath as he speaks.

the winter season had quickly made its way into your quaint town, snow being expected to fall any day now. this also meant the opening of your favorite warm treat stall for taiyaki.

it was pretty much a silent tradition between you and haechan to get taiyaki together at least once throughout winter. you’d always drag him out to the stall (albeit stubbornly) but he’d never complain.

his leniency towards you often made others mistake you both as a couple —which then led you to denying their allegations with a flustered look on your face as your best friend held in his laughter.

to be honest, you would see why they confuse the two of you as a couple. if you were them, you would think so too.

he always acted aloof around you, but never failed to pay attention to the little things like how you preferred to always bring a jacket with you because you easily get cold, how your nose scrunches up when something doesn’t go your way, and he even notices the little squeals you make when you’re really excited, however, you’ve seen him act like this to most people which never fails to tone down your expectations of him.

still, you can’t help but notice different sides to him. he’s bright, caring, and always has the cutest smile you’ve ever seen on display-

okay, maybe you were already in love with your best friend. so what? it wasn’t like you were going to act on your feelings anyways. that would ruin pretty much everything including your yearly taiyaki runs.

a nudge on your shoulder brings you back from your thoughts as you lightly shake your head to clear your mind. an endearing smile from haechan, the same one that you were just thinking about, makes its way up the corners of his lips.

“what kept you so busy?” he asked with a brow raised, handing your order of taiyaki while making sure you didn’t burn yourself from the newly cooked treat.

a slight tinge of heat creeps up your cheeks, recalling what you were just daydreaming about. “it’s nothing!” you respond, hoping he’d assume your tinted cheeks came from the cold.

a brief silence envelops you both, encouraging you to change the topic even more.

“you should eat yours before it gets cold.” you gesture to the sweet snack in his possession with the tilt of your head, ready to take a bite of your own.

before you get the chance to nibble on the treat, haechan brings his taiyaki up to yours —the lips of the fish-shaped treats touching each other. “look, they're kissing now!” he points out the cute sight with a soft laugh.

the simple action brings your thoughts to immediately imagine him kissing you. that would feel so ni- how could you even think that? you were frustrated with yourself for even having the idea of kissing your best friend, shaking off your thoughts as soon as possible.

best friend. the boundary that separates you two. it was a line you couldn’t overstep, especially when he probably didn’t harbor any feelings back.

“isn’t that a little bit too childish for our age?” you try to reason with him, pulling away your taiyaki from his own as a means of calming your heart down a little.

“well, i don’t think so. not if it's what i’ve been wanting to do to you ever since you started zoning out earlier.” he states rather straightforwardly, the tone of his voice being way too nonchalant for what he just dropped on you.

“ah, okay- wait what?” you blinked to yourself a couple of times in disbelief, needing to do a double take on his words.

haechan only sighs, now leaning closer to meet your line of gaze. “i’d like to kiss you if that’s alright.” you didn’t know whether your brain was going numb from his words or the cold anymore. despite your brain in a frazzle, you instinctively nodded along, giving him permission to do so.

he closes the gap between the two of you. his lips moving in sync with yours, sending a fuzzy feeling all around you and bringing warmth amidst the chilly weather.

you pull away moments later, the kiss still lingering on your lips. “does- does that mean you like me?” you question, doe eyed.

“no dumbass, i'm in love with the taiyaki.” he replies with a playful scoff. “but really, i do. i thought you would have noticed by now.”

“i didn’t know anything! i thought you only saw me as a best friend… a sibling even?” you reply back, still in surprise with your taiyaki long forgotten.

“please don’t… put it that way. i don’t want to see you as a sibling- especially not after that.” he feigns a disgusted expression before laughing off the thought. “but, doesn’t that mean you like me too?”

you nod shyly, feeling his arms reach out to embrace you. “ah, that makes me so happy.” he sighs once again, except this time, it's one of comfort.

allowing yourself to melt into his embrace, you think you’ve just found something sweeter than your favorite red bean taiyaki on a winter day. “that makes me really happy too.”

tags !!

#—hyuckbeam #nct fluff #haechan #haechan fluff #nct #nct aus #fluff #nct dream fluff #nct dream #nct x reader #nct dream drabbles

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ryuttaeng · 1 year

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autumn leaves

pairing: ryujin x 6th member!reader, ryujin x lia (jinlia)

summary: it’s a vital need to take a rest, especially when your beloved person meets someone else.

contents/warnings: angst, open ending, confessing, ryujin realised her feelings too late, please do not read if sensitive/uncomfortable with such themes!

genres: angst

a/n: it’s not even fall rn idk i’m just in love with angst, also got inspired by @ghostykapi angst with chaeyoung

fall like those dry leaves just falling without strength, my love your heart just goes far away. i can’t catch you, i can’t catch you anymore, i can’t hold onto you.

ryujin, your coworker, friend and your first serious love. you couldn’t help but only fall for her even more each day, her charisma, her looks, her personality, her smile made your heart race each day, maybe if it wasn’t right to fall for your coworker.

it was only early fall when you finally realised your true feeling for ryujin. yet, did not wanted to confess to her, waiting for right timing, and probably making your biggest mistake.

you decided to confess to her on christmas eve, already making your way to her room, but getting closer, you heard giggles coming from behind the door, hearing lia breathing out ryujin’s name. you nearly made yeji fall as you accidentally hit her with your shoulder. letting out several ‘sorry’s, you quickly closed your room’s door, placing your head on the door.

how long they’ve been dating already? you asked not only yourself, but you also asked the same question yeji. “i don’t know the exact details, but i think they started dating in september.” yeji said, receiving a quick nod from you. sitting on the couch under the blanket, watching some boring stuff on your phone, while you still could hear through your headphones everything. you could hear girls cheering while ryujin and lia kissed under the mistletoe, as you adjusted the volume.

winter slowly became spring, while you still tried to move on. it was hard, as you would spent all of your time in the dorm, yet you found solution and for that. yeji stood in the doorway, as ryujin walked up to her. she barely could see your back quickly disappearing, making ryujin feel curious. “is that y/n? where’s she’s going that late?” ryujin asked yeji, while older closed the door after you left. “she’s producing songs for our group for three months already, didn’t you know that?” yeji asked, as she thought you’ve told about your hobby everyone.

as it turned out, you kept a lot in a secret from your members. you’ve changed, a lot. and if anyone else in your group haven’t noticed that, ryujin for sure did. she wants the person you was before, not this horrible state you find yourself now. you barely showed up in the dorm, staying all the time in the studio, probably writing something new.

ryujin always wanted to find the right person in her life, and how she was disappointed to realise that lia wasn’t that right person. and no matter how hard it was to breakup with her, ryujin still felt like something wasn’t right. like she missed something or someone, just not realising yet who or what it was.

summer slowly begins to end, as you still haven’t showed up in the dorm. ryujin would wait for you to come back, always turning her head to the door, dog-like, receiving from yeji sad gazes.

fall this year seemed to be coldest and unexpectedly gloomy. ryujin scrolled through her phone, when she heard the dorm’s door open, the sound being followed by several footsteps. quickly turned around, ryujin looked at the hallway, when she saw you standing behind manager’s back. other girls also were curious, as their manager finally spoke.

“sadly to announce that, but y/n will take a break from group activities.” your manager announced, leaving all of the girls stunned. as your manager left, you still stood there, looking at everyone except one person. “i- i had to. it’s not gonna take long, 7 or 9 months only.” you said, as you stroked your hair.

ryujin looked directly into your eyes. huge eye bags with mask covering your face that ryujin slowly started to forget your face. where did the person she loved most went? always so happy and always smiling you from the past barely left any signs in present you.

all of the girls wished you luck, as they left you and ryujin both in the hall alone. you nervously looked away, not wanting to make an eye contact with the person that stood in front of you. you succeeded in everything, except moving on. you blamed yourself for still having a special spot in your heart for your beloved one, that belonged to other… yet you knew ryujin and lia broke up months ago.

“…is that a goodbye?” ryujin asked, sounding very confused and insecure. you shrugged. “no. i said my hiatus will last 7 or 9 months, i’m going to come back.” you said.

she never saw you in such bad statement. you covered your face with your hands before sighing. “just remember you’re my ‘fifth season’.” you said, before looking into her eyes and leaving the dorm.

ryujin still stood there, staring at the door, as you already left, leaving your group activities for long 7 months. covering her face, ryujin put her head against the door, as she cried. she will never admit it, but you’re the one person she wants in her life. you will always be green to her no matter the situation.

#itzy #itzy imagines #itzy oneshot #kpop imagines #kpop oneshots #itzy ryujin #ryujin x reader #ryujin x female!reader #ryujin angst

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idealisticrealism · 1 year

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TCL 2x09 recap

Phew, this week was busy as hell so ngl this show picked a good time to have a set-up episode haha. Still, I thought the ep was actually really great, and I’m excited for what’s coming next!

Ok I’m really happy to see more of Thony’s buddhism! Lbr she needs his help rn. Was it really necessary for Fi to bring Luca to meet at the temple though? The threat of Kamdar is fairly under control for the moment, so really she could have just brought him to the house. (Sidenote, but in terms of timeline, it sounds like he’s been at JD’s for 2 nights, meaning this ep is only a day or so after last ep?). But anyway. Ngl I like seeing Thony in her jacket bc it just makes me think of her connection to Arman, but tbh I was like ‘why is everyone in long sleeves?? It’s summer in Nevada????’ but oh right no, the filming is in summer/fall, but the show must be at least nearing winter by now (not that winter in Nevada is all that cold anyway haha). But yeah in the pilot, Thony says they’ve been in the US for 8 months, and in 1x07 they celebrated all the holidays they missed having with Marco, which included Christmas. So Thony took Luca to the US in December at the latest, and then the two of them were there for 8 months already before the events of the show started taking place, and it’s now been about 3 more months since then. So I guess we could almost be in November/December again? Too bad this isn’t the kind of show to do a christmas episode lol, I would have loved that

Ok speaking of jackets/wardrobes etc, Arman needs to stop wearing the same goddamn thing every single day (as utterly sexy as it is), bc it’s making it harder for me to know exactly when everything is happening haha. I’m gonna assume that this scene actually occurs the night before Fi and Thony meet in the temple (aka still the same day as when Thony told him about RK and Nadia’s marriage). Bc I’m guessing that Thony told him, then he left and spent a while being upset (and conflicted, because yes the lying and the manipulation sucks but hey on the other hand, suddenly he’s a free man lol) before looking up the public record, and then he goes to La Habana, where Nadia is excitedly setting up what looks to be a dinner date for them (sigh, I feel sad for both her and us lol). Tbh I think that is the timeline that makes the most sense, bc lbr, if this was happening the following day after he finds out (so the same day as Thony in the temple), then Nadia would have been upset or suspicious about where he had disappeared to for a whole night, because clearly this is their first time seeing each other since Thony’s reveal. But anyway I guess it really doesn’t matter much haha. Also I like how he’s like “so it’s true” and then later tells her that he looked it up on the public record. Like duh of course it’s true lol, you literally saw the proof? Also ngl I was very satisfied when he turned away from her kiss, and then when she hugged him, begging forgiveness, and he didn’t hug back. I know it’s mean but I just love every single thing that further proves that this relationship really has no future… (well, the romantic part of it, at least.)

Also YAAASSSSSS I knew she and Robert were still married!! I mean I’m sure I’m not the only one who called it, but still, gotta love being proved right. And like I said, gotta love Arman no longer being a married man haha. Also incidentally, if RK and Nadia ‘divorced’ after a year, then that was 7 years ago, confirming that her and Arman have been together less than that. (even if they met while she was with Robert, I doubt that she would have dared get with Arman until the divorce was supposedly finalised, given that she was afraid of RK). But anyways then aaaaahhhh the way Arman walks away from her– idk about you guys, but I just really can’t see them going back to being together after this, bc firstly there’s been a betrayal of trust on both sides, and secondly, cmon, the dude knows he’s in love with Thony, and knows that it’s her that he really wants to be with, not Nadia. Tbh though this did all work out a bit differently than I expected; I absolutely assumed that Nadia would demand to know how he found out, and would then learn of how he’d used her. But now instead of both of them being pissed at each other, we have her feeling guilty and desperate for forgiveness, while also accepting that she may have caused the end of their relationship. Which is kind of true but also not really haha. I think the dooming of this ‘marriage’ was a mutual effort tbh lol

Ugh the combination of Hyper-competent Doctor Thony and Worried Mom Thony gets me every time. But man seriously can the universe just give her and Luca a break?? Like she said in 1x06, why does it always have to be so hard?? (Bc it makes for good TV drama, of course, haha). Loved the throwback to Dr Saroyan, who has probably been enjoying the last few weeks of respite from these very stressful clients haha. I kinda wish we’d get to see him again bc I miss him, but at the same time we don’t really need him as much bc Arman has a new personal doctor now :P

Speaking of Arman, ughhhh at the fact that she’s clearly told him about Luca being sick again. Despite the uncomfortable way their last meeting ended, they’ve obviously been in contact, arranging the next med pickup and talking about Luca and still just being there for each other even when they’re kind of being pushed into being on different sides in regards to their situation with RK/Nadia etc. Tbh I just love this scene: the way he and Fi greet each other (from her expression, it looks like she has come to accept him and his place in Thony’s life and I’m so happy about it); the way he immediately asks after Luca; the simple sincerity and the eye contact with the “I wish I could help”/”You are” ughhh. (Bc the thing is, he’s not helping Luca directly; Thony and Dr Saroyan have that covered. But he’s supporting Thony, and that’s what she truly needs).

Nooooooo Boscoooo my boy :’C I know the writers have been basically telling us this was coming since like 2x03 but I’m still sad!! I do love that in this scene, Thony’s first response was to start checking for survivors/people needing medical help, then she saw the truck and her focus shifted to the meds and what their absence meant for Luca (and also her and Arman). Which is very much her character– help anyone in need if she can, but her family’s needs take priority. Arman’s response was just as perfect– his first reaction was Protect Thony, by warning her to stay back and also scanning all around them for further threats, and only once things appeared safe did he even think to look for Bosco. But ugh I really didn’t want to have to see Arman lose another friend, especially another whose death he’s going to torture himself over ughh. I’m sad Bosco didn’t even get to say any last words either but at least he wasn’t alone when he died. Ugh my boy deserved better :(

And then suddenly there’s magically appearing bikers (let’s ignore that their engines should have been audible way before they got that close, shall we? lol) and Armony running from bullets and stealing a bike and a high speed chase on a dirt road and honestly I didn’t need this kind of stress in my life haha. Also damnnn son I guess Arman is an amazing rider because do you know how hard it is to keep a bike steady at speed, on dirt, and with a passenger?? I do! It’s bloody hard! And kicking an object while riding without then causing yourself to crash is even harder lol. And don’t even get me started on that chain they broke through– like dude if that chain was attached at all to more than one side of the gate, riding into it would have clotheslined them both and sent them hurtling right onto the road in the path of that RV lol. Good thing it was apparently not attached and was just draped across the gap or something though… and like man I know it’s Vegas and all but that was a hell of a gamble lol

I am immensely satisfied that I accurately predicted exactly what Arman would do and say the moment they got off the bike haha, though lbr he IS kind of predictable when it comes to Thony and being worried for her safety. And okay I’m very glad they’re both uninjured (and look, shooting a target is hard at the best of times, so I understand them not being hit by bullets shot from a moving vehicle while they were also moving at speed), but I mean couldn’t Thony have gotten just a little bit shot? Like nothing serious, just a nasty graze across the shoulderblade or something? Just enough for Arman to freak out over and for her to have to take off her shirt for him to check it lol. But sigh, I guess I’ll just have to save that for fanfiction lol. Anyway though, you really gotta feel for Armony rn because they are really not having a good week lol

Ah, everyone’s least favourite sociopathic peacock is back. But how satisfying to see him get slapped right in the face haha (though lbr he probably likes that kind of thing?). Ngl though I almost enjoy how utterly pathetic he is when it comes to Nadia? Like with everyone else he’s self-assured, powerful, always at the advantage; but with her he’s a total simpering mess and I want her to crush him under her heel like a bug lol

Nope, not okay with hearing Thony just barely holding back tears over the phone with Dr Saroyan, and then trying so hard to keep things together as she explains the situation to Fi. She’s right about Luca never surviving the flight though ugh; I literally just did a course on the physiological stress of flight in critically ill patients and no way would he make it in his condition. Maybe on an official repatriation flight with a medical team accompanying him, but not as a deported immigrant on a commercial flight ugh. But anyway, I digress lol

And now Thony’s bad day is getting even worse as she has to go deal with RK’s shit lol. But oooh the burner phone is back! Given that later in the ep RK texts her on her other phone, I’m guessing that it’s Arman who texted her just then to let her know RK was back and that they have been summoned to see him– considering they show up to RK’s office together, it’s likely that Arman came to pick her up and take her there. And ugh that’s yet another moment between them I wish we could have seen, bc like did they talk about what they would say? Or the possibility that RK might hurt them as punishment?? I need to know lol. But ugh that moment when RK does snap and signal Joseph to kill Arman? (which tbh I don’t think he would have dared to do if Nadia hadn’t basically just told him she wanted nothing to do with him; bc previously it was only the fear of turning Nadia against him that kept him from killing Arman). Ngl I am obsessed with the way Arman clenches his jaw and stands straight, accepting his death like he has known ever since the prison that it was only a matter of time, that there would be no escaping it, not after everything that’s happened. But Thony will never accept that, will never stop fighting to protect him, and so she immediately moves closer to him, pleading on his behalf and getting herself even more deeply ensnared in RK’s web as she saves him ughhhhhhh

Ugh more DoctorMom Thony… I can’t deal with the way she looks at Luca before she walks out of the room. She knows that this may be a one way trip to the Philippines for her, but I guess she’s holding on to the thought that even if it is, she’ll be able to send the meds back and he’ll get better– and then eventually he may be well enough to fly back too and they can be reunited. (Well, if she doesn’t get murdered by RK, that is. Ugh). But at least in the meantime he will be safe with Fi– although dude “give him more morphine whenever he needs it” is an INCREDIBLY dangerous statement to say to someone who doesn’t have medical training haha. But I’m sure she wrote down some clearer instructions lol. Also aww at the fact that Fi has apparently been sending money back to her parents all this time, despite having such a challenging relationship with them and also having little money to spare?? I love her Your Honour

Seeing Arman and Thony pull up to the plane in the caddy reminded me that his motorbike is still back at Bosco’s camp ughhhhhh. Maybe he’ll be able to ride the other bike back and go get it? Though lbr the risk is probably not worth it. Ugh RIP you beautiful motorcycle I will miss you and all the Armony-embracing you created. Ngl the power couple in the caddy look is still hot though haha. As is the fact that Arman is dressed rather similarly to the last time these two took a private jet flight together, and then later slowdanced by firelight… got some subconscious hopes rising to the surface there buddy? Me too tbh lol. And then ugh RK shows up and completely ruins all our hopes, as usual. I love that both Arman and Thony tried to argue against Arman being left behind (“I need Arman to come with m–” yes you do need him ughhh). But then ugh when Arman realises that he has no way to fight this, that he has already been pushed out and deemed worthless, and as a result has no power to protect her anymore? And he just stares after her and she looks back at him for just a second and they’re both thinking, is this the last time we’ll ever see each other?

Boooo the ledger didn’t actually help?? So Arman went through that ‘reconciliation’ with Nadia for nothing? Great. Also ngl I am still stuck on my ‘Russo is indebted to Kamdar and under his influence’ theory. C’mon show, tell me what side she’s on, I need to knowwwwww

Of course RK chose the seat right across from Thony and is watching her sleep. Goddamn creep. Though tbh we all know that she is completely under his power rn and so there are far worse things he could be doing to her (things I’m sure Arman’s imagination is currently torturing him with), so I guess I should be glad that sexual violence does not seem to be one of RK’s proclivities. But ugh this flight is still so uncomfortable, especially the way she is forced to reveal her friend’s identity to him, knowing that it will put her at risk but having no choice. But holy shit the line “The chief of cardiology? That’s a lot to give up… the godlike power of saving lives, just to become a maid for criminals” is possibly one of the most powerful statements we’ve had in the show. And then her response: “My life became about saving one person’s life. My son.” Like wow, that really captures the entire essence of the show, doesn’t it? The lengths that a mother will go to for her child, the sacrifices she will make to save one person above all others. Though tbhI would argue that the truth has shifted a little bit now– in S1, yes, her life was all about saving Luca. But since the end of S1 it has become about saving her family– Luca, Fi and the kids, and Arman. Thony says in 1x04 that she became a doctor to be like her father, who her mother always said was brave and risked his life for others. She clearly dedicated so much of her life to that goal, to being the best doctor she could be, to help all the many the people who needed her knowledge and abilities. But after Luca got sick, and after she reunited with Fi and saw the way she was struggling through life as a TNT, and after she met Arman and developed such a deep and unexpected connection with him, I think that all that determination and caring and protectiveness that had been spread across scores of cardiac patients instead focused itself intensely on just five people. Of course, she always helps whoever she can, but those five people are who her life is really about. And I think that RK actually respects that, respects that she is willing to do whatever it takes for the people she loves, even when it comes at a huge risk to herself. Tbh I think he’s found her quite intriguing for a while, ever since he’d learned that she was more than what she’d claimed at their first meeting, and since seeing the power she held (in different ways) over both Nadia and Arman. Let’s just hope that he stays intrigued enough to not have her murdered lol

Ooooh I have been hoping for AGES that Joseph is Filipino!! Honestly I always felt it was too much of a coincidence that RK’s right hand man– who we’ve seen RK abusing more than once– should just happen to be South East Asian. Like that casting has to be deliberate. And now he and Thony are kind of vibing?? Like yaaaaassss c’mon Joseph, turn on RK and take Thony’s side instead!

Aw Thony being welcomed by her friends is so sweet (and I love the very classic bilingual conversation), but oh mannnn it’s so uncomfortable to watch her trying to be normal and social all the while knowing that she’s there with a motive and that RK is outside and that so much is riding on her friends taking a huge risk for her ugh. When she escaped to the bathroom I just wanted to give her a hug ugh. Just like I wanted to give Arman a hug when he was suddenly faced with Isabel selling the club, kicking him when he’s already down, and god as much as I’m suffering rn I do love the way the show juxtaposed those two scenes, like it’s saying that even separated by thousands of miles, their pain is still shared. Ugh our babies really are going through it lol

Nope nothing to say about this awful scene with Thony and her friends and her trying to beg for their help while suffering such a mortifying level of shame and guilt and ughhhh nope can’t deal with this at all. Although I feel like the drug he mentioned about hepatic damage might somehow become relevant later on? It seems Luca is copping every possible side effect or complication so who knows lol. But ugh when her friend gives her the name but then realises that Thony brought RK with her and basically exiles her for it ughhhh it hurts me. Especially because Thony has said before that many of hers and Marco’s friends stopped talking to them because he would borrow money and not pay it back– this woman may have been one of the only friends Thony had left from her life in Manila. And now she’s lost that too.

Lol I like this bisexual lighting in La Habana– I’m gonna headcanon that Nadia chose that lol. It’s also really cool to hear that she was the one who made the place into a cigar lounge; between that and her influence on RK’s business, I’m definitely getting the sense that this woman should absolutely be running the show. But ugh when he says he’s not going to say goodbye to either her or the club, I honestly kind of liked it?? Because I want her and Arman to be able to stay in each other’s lives, just not in a romantic partnership, and tbh I think we are actually getting closer to achieving that with each episode? Because they’ve had their heated, angry breakup, they’ve had their unwilling (on his part at least) make-up, and then they’ve had the reveal that their marriage was never ‘real’ and all the painful emotional fallout that came as a result of that. And now they’ve made peace, have apologised to each other for the way things happened and how they hurt each other, but it’s definitely got a ‘forgive but don’t forget’ vibe to it, in that while they can absolve each other for what they’ve done, they’re not just going to pretend it never happened and go back to what they were. Bc in my mind, they’ve now reached a place where returning to the relationship they had– the marriage– is impossible, yet it is still possible for them to have a new relationship, one where they are partners of a different kind, two people who know and respect and trust each other and can work well together toward a common goal. And tbh we’ve all always noted even from early in S1 that they seemed to behave more like business partners than husband and wife, and now maybe they can have that, and can see that it fits them better than being married ever did.

YEAAAHHHH BOOYYYYY “I’m gonna kill Kamdar. And you’re gonna help me.” Aaaaaaahhhhh you guys I have been WAITING for this and I am so excited. And you know what the absolute best part is???? The timing of this decision from Arman. He is suddenly filled with determination to kill RK, but that determination didn’t appear after RK forced him to commit murder, or after he found out RK caused his whole marriage to be a lie, or after RK literally almost had him shot dead in his office. Yes all of those things contributed to it, but it was truly cemented the moment RK flew away in the jet with Thony completely at his mercy, and Arman realised he no longer had the power to protect her. Like yes I know that RK has made it clear that he no longer has use for him (and that therefore he may potentially have Arman killed at any moment) but honestly, I don’t think that “it’s either him or me” is Arman’s real reason. It’s an effective reason to give Nadia, because if forced to choose, she would absolutely choose Arman; but I really don’t think Arman truly cares about the possibility of his death. Like in 2x07 he literally told RK that he wasn’t going to follow his orders to kill Maya, and to just kill him instead; and it was only when Thony’s life was threatened that he gave in. Even earlier in this ep when Joseph nearly shot him, he didn’t do a thing to try to stop it happening. Honestly I think that he believes that he deserves it; I think he’s now convinced that he only brings death and destruction and pain to those around him– Matteo, Carlos, Hayak, Maya, Bosco (and that’s not even counting the people he killed for Hayak)– and that by dying he would be paying penance for them, but also protecting Thony and Nadia from suffering the same fate. And so that’s why he is suddenly so desperate to kill Kamdar: because of Thony and Nadia. Because that moment at the hangar made it clear to him that unless he takes out RK permanently, neither woman will ever be able to get free of RK’s grip, and will always be in danger from him. Which means now he knows that he needs to act fast, to kill RK before RK can kill him, because if he dies before RK then there’s no one left to protect his family– the two women he loves.

Also, can I just say that I called it about the fact that if RK dies, Nadia– as his still-legal wife– is likely his main beneficiary, and so she would inherit his entire kingdom? Like ngl I could see some potential issues there, like the fact that if he died, the FBI would probably be pretty interested to investigate exactly what happened, and would most definitely tie up all his assets rather than releasing them to the estranged wife that had very suspiciously just made a very recent return into his life, and whose second ‘husband’ is a known enemy of RK’s lol. But who cares about logic and legalities, right? And tbh it was a very smart move of Arman to appeal to Nadia’s greed and ambition by reminding her that she could become queen of it all, and could finally have what she has worked so hard to earn. There’s a look of almost disgust on his face as he says it, which may be because he’s acknowledging that Nadia is RK’s wife, not his, but tbh I read it as also being disgust at a) manipulating her again, and b) the fact that money and status and power mean so much to her. If the situation were switched and it was Thony in her position, Thony wouldn’t care at all about what she might inherit from RK; she’d only care about keeping Arman safe. But to be clear, this is not a judgement of Nadia! Her greed and covetousness are actually really interesting character traits and they make her more nuanced and real, and tbh I can totally understand why someone who came from nothing (and who worked hard for everything she had and yet still lost it all, while watching others get richer and richer without ever working for it, purely because they were born into privilege) would be drawn to the idea of doing one ‘bad thing’ to get to have everything she feels she deserves.

Ugh at Thony keeping her promise to Fi and going to Fi’s parents’ house to leave the money she gave her. I’m glad she didn’t have to go meet with them– she could have stopped them when she saw them leaving, but she chose not to (in fact it seemed like she was waiting for them to leave), and she clearly knew where the spare key was kept (she may have had her own copy when she lived in Manila, but lbr she wouldn’t have taken her copy of the key to the US with her). Also the envelope Fi gave her was white, and she puts that on the counter first, but then she also takes out a thick, fresh stack of cash, and a yellow envelope– and tbh I think the cash and yellow envelope are from her. @enigmaticfox said, and I agree, that this moment feels very much like a goodbye; a goodbye to her former parents-in-law– the only parents she has had for years– and to her connection to the Philippines. Her work life there ended 5 years ago with Luca’s diagnosis, and her friends were lost one by one over the years due to Marco using them, with the last finally lost on this trip due to Thony using them; and then with the loss of Marco and the fallout from his death, the family ties she had to this place are gone now too. She says it herself when she gets back on the plane– “The Philippines are not my home anymore.” And it’s true. Her home, her life, everyone she loves– they’re all in Vegas.

Oh Russo what the actual fuck were you thinking? Kissing Garrett at any time is an incredibly terrible decision for many reasons, but kissing him at work only days after he lost someone he loved?? Someone whose picture he was literally just staring mournfully at as you walked in the door?? Like woman I have so many questions about your sanity haha. (Also about your loyalties. Seriously tell me, does Kamdar have you under his thumb???)

Damn Thony’s outfits for this trip have been so good. She looks so effortlessly elegant and sophisticated, and while I love that as a character she’s clearly not at all vain and will normally just wear the same simple clothes repeatedly, it is nice to see a little variety being included– tbh I feel that her tiny wardrobe was a symbol that her time in Vegas was only temporary and that she didn’t ‘belong’ there, so the more clothes that get added to the mix, the more it feels like she is putting down roots and really claiming Vegas as her home. Of course she doesn’t have a lot of closet space rn so she can’t go too wild with the wardrobe lol, but I hope it does get at least a little bigger by the end of the season. Anyway phew at RK basically pulling the rich-people equivalent of a jedi mind trick (aka bribery) on the customs guy lol; money really does open all doors huh

Okay so either RK is even more of a ridiculous simp for Nadia than I previously thought, and is completely fooled by her (let’s face it, rather terrible) acting lol, or he knows she’s deliberately trying to manipulate him into buying La Habana but doesn’t care and is happy to give her what she wants anyway, because it will get him what he wants– Nadia’s affection and gratitude. Tbh I hope it’s the first option because that’s just so much funnier. But either way, now that he’s the owner of La Habana, she can just “what’s yours is mine” her way into being the next owner upon his untimely demise haha. Work smarter not harder ladies!

Why do I feel a sense of foreboding hearing Luca say “mommy I don’t want you to go”? Bc like she literally just came back? Maybe he means he doesn’t want her to go away again? And ok even though I know nothing will happen to her (she’s the main character after all, and this show is no Game of Thrones lol), it makes me afraid of foreshadowing lol. But ugh when she tells Fi that the meds will fix Luca and Fi says “well, then whatever you went through over there, it was worth it”– yet another line that has really captured the heart of this show. Whatever Thony goes through, no matter how bad, it’s worth it to her as long as Luca (and her family) are okay. She will bear any pain, any burden, as long as it keeps them safe and healthy and happy. Which is why she will keep working with RK, bc even though she knows that he’s so unpredictable and mercurial that just being in his vicinity is a danger in itself; she’s willing to take that risk as long as he can supply the meds that keep Luca healthy. Which means that the situation between her and Arman is about to get a little complicated lol, because right now she needs RK, and Arman needs him gone. Bc just like her, Arman will do anything to protect the people he loves– and for him, that means protecting her from RK by eliminating him before he can hurt her. It’s the best kind of conflict imo, because it’s one person saying to the other “I love you enough to do what needs to be done to save you, even if it makes you hate me”. Of course, Arman doesn’t want to endanger Luca by taking away his access to the meds, but in his mind, RK is a far more immediate threat to Thony’s safety than the short supply of meds is to Luca’s wellbeing, and so he probably figures that once RK is eliminated he can then use RK's funds and connections (via Nadia) to get Luca all the meds he will ever need.

But the real question now is whether he will tell Thony what he’s planning to do to Kamdar??? I honestly can’t decide, because on one hand, keeping her in the dark would protect her (plausible deniability, etc etc) and that definitely seems like something he would do– plus, in terms of storytelling, it would create some delicious angst because Thony would see Arman suddenly shutting her out and instead spending most of his time with Nadia, and she would assume it means that Arman has now definitively made his choice regarding who he wants to be with, and so she would then endure their every following interaction with the quiet suffering of a secretly broken heart ugh. (God I would LOVE to see that, because the eventual reveal of the truth– that he loves her, has loved her the whole time and has only been trying to keep her safe– would be glorious). However, if on the other hand he tells her what he’s planning, and she tells him not to do it because she needs RK (also bc she doesn’t want him to get caught for RK’s murder, of course) then there’s a different kind of delicious angst where they both know how they feel about one another but they’re stuck on opposing sides regardless, due to external factors outside of their control. Which tbh would also be glorious. So basically, whatever happens next will be a freakin delight lol. And ok I know there’s a lot of fans who are unhappy about Armony being potentially pitted against each other while Arman teams up with Nadia, but I honestly cannot wait, because the truth is that any conflict between these two now will just make it all the sweeter when they eventually– and inevitably– finally give in to their feelings and accept that everything they’ve done, they’ve done for each other, and that there’s nothing they want more than to be together.

Oh no. The gun. Lbr, RK absolutely just had it planted in order to get Arman out of the way now that he thinks he’s got a chance with Nadia again– gotta remove the competition, y’know? lol. Though I definitely do take issue with the fact that he dared to plant for the FBI to find, considering that in 2x07 he himself touched it with his bare hands before Arman did, and that seems like a risk he would never take, but whatever. Plot hole maybe. But anyhow aaaaahhh now Garrett (and ofc Russo/the FBI) know about Arman, and I can’t WAIT to see what he does about it. Tbh my ideal headcanon would be that he immediately goes to arrest Arman, and Arman argues that if he’s already going to be going down for murder, why don’t they make it count– and so convinces Garrett to give him a couple of days to kill Kamdar (thus making him truly pay for what he did to Maya) before he takes him in. It would be fascinating to see Garrett agree to that, clearly venturing more into the moral grey zone, and also to see these two nemeses teaming up in that way. Especially if part of their agreement is that Thony is kept completely out of it so she won’t go down with Arman, because neither of them wants anything to happen to her. Ngl, I’ve already drafted the fic haha, and I’m sure I’ll get around to posting it one day– but in the meantime, I’m so goddamn excited to see what the show gives us over these next few episodes ugh. Honestly I am living the fangirl dream here kids and I hope you guys are too lol

#The Cleaning Lady #Armony #TCL recaps #oops late again #I blame my patients lol #also a very lovely wedding haha #but anyhow aaaaaahhhh guys we are REALLY getting into the epic part of the season here #these next few eps are going to be inSANE #and i could not be happier about it lol

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inupibaldspot · 3 years

Text

Our Snowfall

Pairing: Baji x Reader

Request: OPEN

Note: I cried writing this I’m in so much pain rn 😭

Baji slowly opened the door,revealing room of white color, with faint sent of medicines and anti-septic's.

Earlier he was playing catch with Mikey outside, but Mikey wanting to show off threw the ball too hard making the ball zoom across the sky as it breaks the window to a hospital room.

Baji was about to shout at Mikey only to find the blonde boy had disappeared without a trace. And now Baji was on a mission to get his ball back.

“I’m sorry for breaking your window.” Baji bows his head from the door.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Baji blinked in confusion. The voice was that of a young child and not an adult like he was expecting. He raises his head to see a small figure ,who looked really weak.

The person smiled. “The ball is on the table there. It would be best if you left before nurse comes back.”

Baji nods as he walks in and takes the ball. He notices that the broken glasses pieces were already picked up and clean.

Baji turns to look at you. “My name is Baji Keisuke. What is yours?”

Your lips curl into a weak smile. “My name is Y/N…”

Baji walks towards you. “Are you sick,Y/N?” His expression was somewhat worried.

You nod. “I’ve been here forever.” You laugh. “Mama told me I can’t go outside because I get sick easily so I stay at the hospital so Mr. Doctor can help me…”

Baji frowned. He was always an active kid who spend most of his time playing around so when he heard that you don’t get to go outside,it made him sad. “Is it okay if I visit you sometime.”

Your eyes widens as color appears on your cheeks,you then smiled brightly. “I would love that!”

True to his words,Baji immediately visited you the next day.

Ever since Baji entered your life,your life has been full of colors. Baji would always talk about how he spend his day,he would talk about his friends and all the crazy thing they would do.

He would always visit you,never making you feel lonely. Along the way he even introduced some of his friends. First he brought Mikey along and then the next Mitsuya and Pachin.

You were scared at first when Baji said they were in gangs but when you got to know them,they were just dorks,lovable and funny dorks.

“I heard this time we are going to have a white Christmas.” You said as you looked outside.

Baji who was cutting apples for you, stopped as he looks at you. “Are you going to be with your parents?”

You shook your head. “Both my mom and dad are going to be busy with work so they said we can’t celebrate it with me this time.”

You smiled as you turned to look at Baji. “But the nurses said they’re going to set up a Christmas tree so I’m excited!”

Baji looks at how your eyes brightened when you talked about the Christmas tree. You looked so happy talking about and that made you seem so much beautiful.

“I’m sure it would look so pretty-“ Your words came to a halt when you started coughing. The coughing never seemed to die down making Baji rush to your side and when it finally did,there were blood in your hands. He looked at you in horror but you didn’t seem to panic,rather you looked as if you were think ‘Not this again.’ As if this happened regularly.

“I’ll get the doctor real quick!” With that he rushes away.

…….

To your dismay the Christmas tree was smaller than expected but nevertheless you enjoyed the cake your parents ordered for you,you ended up eating them with the grandma next door.

Maybe it was because you weren’t with Baji today,the day felt bit gloomier even-though it was such a joyous day. You missed Baji.

Just when you were about to sleep,tiny knocks were heard at your door. “Psttt, Y/N.”

You look at the door confused. “Baji what are you doing here?”

Before you knew it,Baji makes you wear a thick jacket and cover your neck with a muffler not answering your question.The wide grin on his face perked your curiosity more.

He then kneels in front of you,his back facing you. “Get on!”

“Huh?”

Baji turns to you and he gives you a grin. “I’m going to show you a huge Christmas tree.”

Baji and you then sneak out of the hospital as he carries you to the main town. You gleam at how beautifully the place was decorated. The air outside was cold but it was so fresh, so much frsh as compared to the air in your hospital room.

“It started snowing!” You shouted excited as you raised one of you hand to try and hold it,only for it to melt as soon as it touches you. “The report was right! We’re having a white Christmas!” It was your first time actually being outside when it was snowing, normally you'd only watch the snow from inside.

Places were beautifully lit, decorated with lights filled with joyful atmosphere. Some with their family others on dates. As people start to stare at the sky taking in the entrance of the snow.

“We’re here!” Baji stops walking as he nudges his head at a particular direction.

There at a distance was a huge Christmas tree, decorated with fairy lights, colorful bulbs and small other decorations. “Wow…”

“Beautiful isn’t it-“ Baji stopped speaking as he looked at your expression. Your eyes gleamed as it shone,from all the lights, you nose and cheeks slightly flushed from cold but the most beautiful part was your smile.

You burrowed you face against Baji’s neck,making him feel ticklish but he didn’t mind it rather he love it. “Thank you Keisuke …” He could feel your breath against his neck.

“I’m so glad I could spend the Christmas with you…”

……

“I hate school!” Baji shouts as he messes his hair in frustration. “I don’t know why I have to study this bull shit!” Baji was currently in you room as he worked on his homework while you were reading a book. A pleasant way you guys would spend your time together. It has almost been two years since you guys met.

You laugh at Baji’s expression as you set down the book you were reading. “Come on now~ Don’t say that..I think school must be fun.”

Baji stops as he realizes what he did. You were someone who could never join school after multiple incidents of you passing out or getting rushed to hospitals when you were a kid.

You couldn’t experience school like he did. Baji huffs as he goes back to his books. “Fine… I’ll aim for twenty marks this time.”

“Twenty? That’s not even the pass mark.” You laugh at him. “How about you go for thirty at least.”

“Thats not the pass mark either, Y/N!“

You were about to say something when a sudden thought came into mind. “Keisuke … I actually was watching tv yesterday and I saw someone making a pumpkin themed cake…”

“So I thought I’d want to eat that but I don’t think I can complete it by myself. So how about you join me…?” Your cheeks flushed red.

You were basically asking him out on a date.Sure you guys spend time together alone but you never once made an offer like this to him. It has been months since you figured out you had feelings so Baji but you never really acted on it.

Since the thought of you getting rejected and in turn losing a beloved friend scared you to no end.

“Sure!” You turned your head quickly at his reply. Baji was smiling as well as he continued. “When would it be?”

You smile as you brought your hands together, excited. “I was thinking of October 31..”

“Ah… I don’t think I can join you then…” Baji replied regretfully. “How about November 1?”

“Sure!” As long as you could spend time with Baji, you were happy.

But then that day never came.

That day you waited for Baji to enter the room,with an untouched cake box on the table. The door opens to reveal Mikey,Draken and Mitsuya.

“Baji…Baji died during our fight against Valhalla …”

Would it be funny if you said you ate the cake while you cried? Probably,but that’s what you actually did. Stuffing you mouth with the soft creamy treat as tears pool you eyes.

Days after were as if a curtain closed closed your window, everything felt so much dim and it didn’t help that your condition seemed to worsen.

You were losing weight at an alarming rate,coughing up more blood at frequent rates. You grew increasingly weaker as you parents even took time off their jobs to nurse you.

But at certain nights you would wake up in tears,as you could barely breathe as you searched for Baji,hoping to see him with you in the room. “Keisuke…”

It was a peaceful winter evening ,the air was cold and places were quiet as white snow gently falls in the ground.

People outside were looking and hoping that the snow would set properly. Kids were already outside as they excitedly play out, parents in their homes were making food to warm themselves up.

“Stay with me Y/N!”

People were rushing all over the room as you dad hold your crying mom.

You head felt as if it was going to burst,a strong sense of nausea filled you. Everything you hear and see seemed so muffled and blur.

Despite you body feeling limp, it was twitching. You breathing which was rapid at first seemed to now slow down,accompanied with a strong aching pain.

Then suddenly all those suffering at once disappear.

You entered into a white place,as if each and every part was covered in snow.Your body felt light with no presence of pain that you were feeling just a second before.

You walked around too see that in a distance was a very familiar person.A person who made you life so much brighter. A person who you enjoyed every moment spend with him. A person you loved.

That person turns around as he expression turns into a frown.

“Why did you join me so early?”

You smile as a tear rolls down your face. “I guess I missed you too much,Keisuke.”

#baji scenarios #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagine #baji imagine #baji headcanons #baji x reader #baji #Baji Keisuke

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darthkruge · 3 years

Note

I know I always ask for protective stuff, because I’m a real sucker for it, but do you think you could do a lil something with a protective Bucky? It doesn’t have to be long or anything and I totally understand if you don’t wanna do it but- Is it weird that it’d help me fall asleep? Y’know, that nice fuzzy feeling? Once again, I completely understand if you don’t wanna do it

Yes babe of course! I’m literally watching Captain America The Winter Soldier rn so you got me at the right time!! And I go for protectiveness all the time too, don’t worry!

I did headcanons cause I’m on my phone rn and I can’t format anything else 💀

Sorry it’s so short!! I hope this helps, even just a little <3

He’s very protective in general. He knows fear and he doesn’t want you to experience it. Your safety is his main concern, always.

He’s quite intimidating and would always keep you close to him when you’re walking. If he sees anyone he perceives as dangerous, he’d shoot them a glare and not-so-subtly pull you closer to him.

I think that Bucky is a little less PDA heavy. He finds it super intimate and doesn’t want to share that with everyone, y’know?

But he 100% likes to be touching you when you’re walking. And more so on the hand on your arm, arm around your shoulder thing than hand holding. Idk why, I just get that vibe.

If you’re ever in danger or feel like you might be in danger, he tells you to call him. He’d drop everything to come to you.

Bucky is terrified of losing you and that’s where his protectiveness stems from.

He gets you out of danger quickly and in whatever means possible. He’ll pull you out of the way, put his body between yours and the danger, any and all of that.

He’s trained. That’s all I’m gonna say. If he needed to... if someone was threatening you... he could cause some damage 😤

If you’d been threatened and you’re feeling anxious or stressed or just unsettled because of it, he’s the perfect person to go to.

He hugs you so tight afterward. Usually with his real arm, he’s still worried about hurting you with the metal one.

He might not say a lot, probably going through all the “what if’s” of if he didn’t get there in time or didn’t protect you well enough. But you know he’s there. He doesn’t need a lot of words, his actions are reassuring enough.

He’d watch over you the entire time you try to sleep. Bucky has nightmares a lot, he understands not being able to rest.

And he would help you get to sleep, rubbing your arms and holding you and kissing you as much as you needed.

He also probably wouldn’t sleep much that night. Bucky would be too worried he’d have a nightmare and startle you awake. And now that you’re resting, he won’t risk it.

But it’s okay. He would never make you feel guilty for it. He just... he loves you. You’re his priority. And knowing you’re safe and resting and in his arms, it’s enough for him.

#bucky barnes x reader #protective bucky barnes #soft bucky thoughts #bucky fluff

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belle-keys · 3 years

Text

I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

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ascaryghost · 3 years

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Hey I’m the anon who asked about the 💩 and can I just say - THANK you SO much for being so open and honest about something like that because yeah it must feel so uncomfy to unconcerned those memories but I want you to know (if you don’t know already) how insanely helpful it is to read stories like that when you’re struggling with the ideas of “wanting to be sicker” - everyone always talks about how “you’ll be cold all the time!!! So boys will give u sweaters!!!” Nobody talks about the literal shutting your pants in public but because you’re exercising still not taking that as the cue to go straight home - literalky insanely helpful to read and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come in your recovery that you can flat out say “it wasn’t worth it” - I was half expecting the ask to not even be answered so I truly can’t thank you enough for sharing this 🌼🌼🌼you’re a fucking warrior and a champion and I LOVE you ❤️❤️❤️

yea it was honestly no problem sharing that story and i think its rly important as well. and yea istg boys were scared of me (which hm, tbh kinda pog at least they stayed away lol /hj) and did defintily not give me their sweaters, in fact i had to suffer in the winter when the stupid boys opened the classroom windows and i sat there dying of coldness. And the ed coldness isnt glorious its like u literally have no body heat. to anyone who haven't gone through it, think of it like this - everybody has a small little fire deep inside, so even when ur in cold weather ur not cold all the way through. ed cold u dont have that fire and coldness just completely fills you and runs through you and you would do literally anything to get warm again but no amount of layers is enough because really what you are missing is internal warmth and its rly rly rly horrible.

but abt the recovery part, ive gone through recovery but im relapsed like i just wanna make it rly rly clear that what im doing isnt recovery and im def not in a healthy mindset like pls dont do what im doing. i went through recovery and relapsed so that + my experiences w hospitalization and literally being at death's door made me have a very complicated relationship with my ed. like i feel like im rly good at being like "ok no no no we need to fucking eat something rn." like pulling myself up when i go to deep etc cause i never ever wanna go back to where i was before my failed recovery and i know this is what every person with an ed says and then fucking die like years later but i honestly feel like im good at handling my ed so i dont go too deep. Like i dont have any desire to be bonespx because i have been and it sucked, i dont feel invalid bc i dont 'look anorexic enough' like a lot of ed ppl do etc. But yea the sick thing abt eds is that even though u know what ur doing isnt worth it and unhealthy you can still keep getting pulled back into it tbh i have to remind myself a lot of how things used to be to keep myself from falling down the hole. as soon as i find myself looking at bxnespo and thinking "waittt actually..." i have to just stop and make sure i don't go deeper. Anyways my point was pls everyone practice harm reduction this way too, not only keeping something sweet with you in case u feel dizzy etc but please practice it in your mind too. You have to do everything you can to stop yourself from falling too deep into this.<33 pls <33

anyways i love you too even though idk who u are but you seem like a wonderfully sweet person and im sorry all my answers are so long and rambly but like i dont wanna half assedly answer these things bc they are so important i feel like i rly need to explain them thoroughly to make sure nobody gets the wrong msg etc.<3

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musette22 · 3 years

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i just had a super stressful day filling out college applications (dont worry, im 18 and was 18 when i first started reading ur blog), but since you always make my day better i was wondering if you'd be willing to give me a little something to think about to keep my mind off my fate that i just sealed and shipped off :') idk whatever thoughts abt chris or seb at the top of your mind rn!! i love u lots <33

Hello my darling!! Aaahhh that’s so exciting! Stressful yes, but also exciting! I hope you’ll get the response you’re hoping for 🤞🏻🤞🏻 I’m sorry, you probably sent this in last night when I was asleep and I’ve been busy all day, but hopefully you’re feeling a little more settled at this point! ❤️

As for Chris and Seb thoughts, I can’t stop thinking about how Seb might join Chris and the inlaws on a winter walk in the snow one day. Sebastian is being his usual, goofy self, running around with Chris’s nephews and niece and Dodger and maybe Scott, getting into a snowball fight with them like the big child he is and maybe making a snow angel on the ground, getting snow in his dark curls when his beanie inevitable falls off. His cheeks and nose are all red from the cold and his eyes sparkle with joy, and Chris just stands there, watching him, completely enthralled by Sebastian’s beauty and spirit and liveliness.

Sebastian is too busy having fun with the kids to notice the way Chris is staring at him, but Chris’s mom does. Lisa walks over to him, standing next to Chris to watch the mayhem from a safe distance. “He’s it, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Chris says, giving her a watery smile and sniffling a little. “I’m so in love with him, mom.”

Lisa grabs his arm and squeezes it. “I know you are, baby. I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you look at him, you know? I’ve never seen you happier.”

And that’s the moment Sebastian chooses to look over, shooting Chris a blinding, joyful grin that lights up his face and makes him look even more stunningly beautiful than usual. Chris’s heart does a somersault in his chest, a tiny, hurt sound escaping him, and then he’s striding over. He grabs Sebastian’s arms and pulls him into a kiss, hard and sudden and full of all the love he’s feeling, in his toes and his fingers and his heart, which he wears on his sleeve, for everyone to see.

While Sebastian is still reeling from the kiss, Chris wraps him up in a hug, nice and tight, and buries his face in Seb’s neck. “I love you,” he murmurs. “Christ, I love you so much.”

Sebastian’s arms snake around Chris’s waist as he melts into him, resting his chin on Chris shoulder and nuzzling the warm spot between Chris’s scarf and his ear. They’re so caught up in their own little bubble, in the middle of this winter wonderland with snowflakes still falling down around them, that they don’t even feel the cold.

#❄️💘❄️💘❄️💘#MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE #evanstan #rpf #minnie answers #Anonymous

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harvestdew · 3 years

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More cleo / haley (cley? Halo?) Headcanons pleaseeee <3

idk i'm obsessed with cley it sounds so funny. THANK U FOR ASKING THO ask and you shall receive

haley + cleo headcanons

cleo is taller than (my version) of haley but they don't have that massive of a height difference. i get 5'5-5'6 energy from haley and cleo's around 5'8 (which was kinda pushing it for a runway model). but w/ boots cleo is 2 inches taller. actually kinda pisses haley off when cleo calls her tiny to be a little shit and uses her as an elbow rest

anyone else remember nohra's cal because we established that cleo and cal hate each other even though haley and alex are good friends. haley forces cleo to go on double dates with them once in a while knowing it'll make cleo miserable but it never ends well. can't take either of them anywhere

cleo would never get back into modeling but feels comfortable enough to model for haley so she can practice her photography u_u i hc that haley and emily start a small clothing shop and use cleo to model some of their stuff for their website and cleo is happy to do it for free

cleo actually likes pda but only with haley. she's really smug abt it too bc after dealing with coming to terms with her lesbianism she has a lot of pride in how much she loves her gf. haley also likes being shown off because cleo just likes going LOOK HOW FUCKING PERFECT MY GIRLFRIEND IS. she has selfies or pictures of haley as her lock and home screens' wallpaper

already mentioned this but haley and cleo pretended to date first since i loved this to all the boys i've ever loved AU with her and took some snippets of it. basically they got together bc haley doesn't wanna make her friendship with alex awkward even though he actually has no interest in her. but then cleo did write a sort of break up song about haley bc they break up during their fake relationship (because cleo can't really fathom having real feelings for the person she likes since she's spent her whole life dating men she disliked). haley rightfully gets upset since they have a huge falling out over it but cleo takes it pretty bad and writes the song out of spite. i wasn't going to add a breakup arc until i heard the song woke up by marceline and did a double take. and to be honest sometimes she still performs it while they're dating cuz she was like "sorry this was a banger idk." she wrote haley a love song after to make up for it though </3

cleo realized she had genuine feelings for haley (sorry for being predictable) during her 8 heart event. something abt seeing haley go from being like "ew you smell like fish you're disgusting" to not caring about falling in the mud since she's having a good time gave her a heart attack. but her opinion about haley first changed drastically during her 6 heart event when she helped haley find her bracelet and haley thanks her where she thinks "oh she's not that bad"

after everything settles though and their feelings are pretty clear haley is the one who gives cleo the bouquet instead of the typical farmer gives bachelorette a bouquet. it inspired cleo to eventually take up basic gardening so she could grow sunflowers for haley all by herself and give them to her in the summer

haley sometimes begs cleo to let her do her makeup and dress her. their styles are so different that cleo would never be caught wearing anything haley does but she loves haley too much to say no sometimes so she just gives up on fighting it. haley tries to dress her in stuff that does fit her style but likes testing cleo's patience with cutesy clothing (which always ends with "if you weren't my girlfriend i'd blow my lid rn because this outfit's so ugly"). it's okay though because haley lets cleo play around with her hair

cleo didn't come to pelican town with her bass from her previous band since she smashed it into pieces. she didn't play for a while out of insecurity but when haley learned about it she ended up pitching the idea to sam to get cleo a bass she pointed out liking when they were hanging out. it was her feast of the winter star gift and cleo almost cried u_u. so basically we can thank sam but more importantly haley for helping her get her groove back

speaking of which tho haley is sam's band's biggest fan only cuz her gf is in it. she acts like a groupie and attends all their events and even wears the merch. cheers loudest at every single concert and is always at the front of the venue so she gets the best view even if she fucking hates seeing sebastian on the keyboard (my haley also hates him LOL)

i honestly feel like there's more but i'm forgetting it... BUT THAT'S ALL THAT I COULD REMEMBER and this post got really long. ty for the ask tho it makes me happy to see ppl interested in my disaster lesbians <:]

#answered

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iamtaekooked · 3 years

Text

If We Knew || Kth

Synopsis: When your boss suggests her son is a good match for you, you had no idea just how right she is.

(or alternatively the one where you know each other but don’t know that you know each other)

Genre: romance, lots of fluffy moments and smut (I tried man)

Word count: 32k (longest piece I have ever written)

A/N: Been a while people! I am excited to get back to writing.This got deleted somehow. But I am reposting this on the request one sweet anon. I hope you like it friend! I really like it and I hope you guys do too. Also shoutout to @mygsii for helping me with the smut and to @megahwn for being an awesome beta reader! ALSO I JUST FINISHED NURSING SCHOOL. HAD MY LAST DAY OF FINAL PRACTICUM AND I PASSED AND YOUR GIRL IS ONE MORE STEP CLOSER TO BEING AN RN!!!

“Why can’t you do it?” Nina asks as she sits down in front of you, snatching your phone from your hand so you can’t be distracted and avoid her (which is something you desperately want to do). You huff as you regard her silently, communicating to her that if she doesn’t give you your phone back, or better yet stop pestering about the stupid app you will kill her.

If she was your best friend, it would be one thing. But Nina, unfortunately, is the cousin from hell who is the spawn of the devil. When your aunt told you she would stay with you over the summer you didn’t think she would actually end up staying the whole summer. Or that it would extend beyond the summer and into fall and then next year into winter, then spring until she came one full circle with summer a year later.

“It’s enough that my boss keeps trying to push her son on me. Now you’re doing it too. Let me fucking live”

“I am not pushing your boss’s son on you. I don’t even know that guy. I am however telling you that you should sign up for this app because it is legit. It’s not your traditional dating app. You meet people and you can either become friends, network with people who have similar interests or go for dating. It’s your choice. Plus there are no conditions on this app. It’s confidential until you feel comfortable enough to reveal yourself. My best friend found the love of her life through it. I swear” she pinches the skin of her throat as a gesture of her oath.

“I don’t want to date” you deadpan.

“Only married people are supposed to say that. You” she points to you and shakes her head. “You are not married. You are young, and sexy, and hot and any guy would love to get into your pants”

“Is that what you think I want?” you fold your elbows atop the table and lean towards her, thoroughly curious about her thought process.

“I am not saying you want to be fucked y/n” her voice is a little too loud and her words a little too indecent to be uttered in a coffee shop. People within your vicinity turn their heads to look at the two of you. You sheepishly duck your head so as not to feel even more embarrassed than you already do. “All I am saying is, give it a try. You might find a decent guy”

“Is there really such a thing as a ‘decent guy’ nowadays and that too on this money-grabbing, and bullshit app?”

She observes you silently. “Tsk Tsk. Is this the moment where you go off about how stupid dating apps are and how they glorify the societal belief that superficial beauty is superior to personality and perpetuating the idea that women are good for fucking, and being used?”

“It’s true. Yet you are sitting here telling me to be a part of the herd. Millennials seriously are stupid” you shake your head.

“Give me a legit reason other than this righteous bullshit” she folds her hands across her chest.

“Oh my fucking god. That is my reason. I don’t want to because I hate it”

“Oh my fucking god” she mocks your tone. “That doesn’t count”

“Nina, I swear to the heavens if I don’t have my phone back in thirty seconds I am going to kill you”

She waves you off. “You’re too nice for that. Now stop changing the damn subject and tell me you will sign up”

“Give me my phone back” you bite through your teeth, nostrils flaring.

“Fine” she extends the phone towards you and just as you are about to reach for it she pulls her hand back. “First tell me that you’ll make a profile for this app”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, you insufferable being. I will make a profile. Now my phone please”

She eyes you warily for a brief moment as if trying to seek out any signs of you lying. But then she thinks the better of it. “You better do it” she hands you the phone.

You take it and pocket the device. “I will see you later at home”

“You better fucking do it y/n” you hear her shrill voice as you exit the coffee shop and you are sure that definitely turned heads.

When you were seven all you wanted was to be seventeen. When you were seventeen all you wanted was to be an actual adult and not a teenager because you were sick of being labelled rebellious and moody by adults all the time. Little did you know as a seven and seventeen-year-old that being an adult comes with responsibilities--like paying your own phone bill, paying rent for your house, paying hydro bills, taxes and everything else that the government could possibly take from you.

The only way you can afford to stay afloat and manage to have some money left over to spend is because you work for a boss who is smitten with you. Because she likes you so much your salary package actually comes with a lot of bonus perks. It’s the only reason you still work for her. She’s a really nice lady but the one thing she lacks is self-restraint when it comes to her son and you.

The first day you started working at the company, you remember how she called you in her office. You thought she would want to talk to you about something work-related but instead, she showed you pictures of her son and gushed about him for an hour. While all you could do was focus on the papers piling on your desk.

Mrs. K as she likes to be called is surely a very wealthy woman and like a stereotypical wealthy woman, she loves to play matchmaker. She’s been trying to get you and her son together (whose name you always forget because you couldn’t care less)

As soon as you sit down on your desk your phone rings and her name flashes on the tiny screen of the line. With a sigh you pick it up.

“Y/n dear, I see that you are back from your lunch”

“Yes. Mrs.K” you smile into the phone.

“Will you please come to my office for one moment dear?”

There is a moment of hesitancy as you fall silent. You have an inkling as to what this could be about and you really don’t want to go. But given that she is the woman who pays you and handsomely too, you don’t have much of a choice.

“I will be there Mrs.K” you try your best to sound as excited by it as possible.

Sometimes you wonder if having been in the business of producing cheesy TV shows for decades has had an impact on the old woman. Or maybe she really is a stereotypical wealthy woman who now that she has made something of herself, doesn’t have any other occupation than seeing her son start his own family.

Your thoughts provide for a good distraction as you reach her office. You stand tentatively outside the door, wondering if you should knock. But before you have the chance to further dwell on it the door opens to reveal Mrs K. herself.

“Come on in dear!” she ushers you inside quickly

“How are you?” you question as she guides you to the very comfortable looking couches on one side of the room. “Are these new?” you point to the posh sofas.

“Yes, my son bought them for me. I suppose as a present or maybe a bribe. He’s been buying me a lot of things lately” she laughs obnoxiously.

“A bribe?” You frown in confusion at her remark.

“Let’s just say that he is not a fan of my imposition on him to settle down. He thinks buying me things would somehow earn him some sliver of freedom from it. But all I want is what is best for him” she sits down opposite you and gestures for you to take a seat as well.

You respond with an awkward laugh because you don’t know how else to reply. You can understand why he would want to get out of it. “So is he going to earn his sliver of freedom..?” you trail with a tone of anticipation.

She laughs in a deflective way as she waves you off. “I called you here because I want to ask your honest opinion of my son”

“With all due respect Mrs. K I don’t know your son so-”

“So get to know him then” she says airily. “He’s coming to visit in a few days. I would love it if you two met. I am not saying this because he’s my son but he’s a catch” she winks which makes you laugh.

“I-” you begin and stop upon noticing how hopeful and excited she looks. “Sure”

“Great!” she claps excitedly

The things you have to do to make sure you don’t piss your boss off.

“You what!?” you look at Nina in disbelief.

“I signed you up for that app” she replies putting all her focus on applying the nail polish to her toes and ignoring you.

“I told you I didn’t want to!”

She looks up at you with a straight face. “So, you lied”

“Yes. Because it’s my choice!”

She stops her ministrations and places the tiny bottle of nail polish down on the table. “Too bad y/n” she shrugs casually because she probably can’t see the problem with her actions. “You’re all signed up and well I paid for it so you can’t really cancel until a few days”

“You just wasted your money” you flop into the sofa, limbs falling over the edges.

Just then your phone vibrates and you pick it up. It’s a notification from the ‘Swipe’ app. Who even names their app Swipe?

You’re in the midst of opening your phone when it’s snatched from you by Nina. Again.

“Hey!” you yell in protest.

“Sorry cous” she shrugs and runs towards the bathroom just as you begin to get up from your comfortable spot.

“Nina give my phone back or I will kill you!”

“You’ll thank me for this!”she yells . Then you hear the sound of the door shutting and it prompts you to run after her.

“Why are you being an ass?” you pound on the door with your fist

“I am just helping you” comes her relaxed voice.

“You fucking suck!” you groan and give up hitting your fist against the door because it starts to hurt.

A second later she is opening the door, waving your phone in her hand with a mischievous grin on her face. “Talk to him” she throws your phone at you and then strides by as if it’s all part of your normal living routine.

You fumble as you catch your phone. “Talk to who?” you look after her.

“The hottie” she looks at you over her shoulder and then disappears up the stairs and into her bedroom.

“What the fuck?” you flip your phone and come across an open chat, a ‘hi’ already sent.

Your eyes flicker to the tiny profile picture at the top of the screen. You can’t really see the guy’s face because it’s covered by a black hat. You click on it and it enlarges, yet you still can’t make out his face because the image is so pixelated. Despite yourself, you find your curiosity piqued by the mysterious stranger.

You swipe to his profile which reads:

Art connoisseur, wine taster, dog lover. Classical music is a comfort for my soul. Grew up in LA but made it on my own in New York.

Three things strike you as you read his profile: he sounds and (going by his photo) he looks like he’s probably rich. Normal people with regular jobs don’t talk about art and wine like it’s their occupation. Second, he likes classical music and so do you, and he grew up in LA and so did you. Third, even though in none of his pictures his face is visible what does become clear is that he is definitely a man of refined tastes.

He’s got pictures of himself in various museums with his back facing the camera and The Starry Night and Mona Lisa making an appearance in the background as he presumably admires the beautiful masterpieces. He's got pictures of a dog, you assume his, which is the cutest dog you have laid eyes on. It’s a Black and Tan Pomeranian with the cutest face.

Your attention is stolen by a notification that appears at the top of your screen. You find yourself directed to the messages and staring back at you is a ‘hey’ by the art connoisseur guy whose username weirdly is ‘icedtea’. What kind of dating app allows usernames like that?

You blink at your screen and then shut your phone, too tired and exhausted to respond. In fact, you don’t even know if you want to respond or if you have any interest in all of this dating crap.

It’s at this moment you regret you aren’t seventeen and hence can’t indulge in simple pleasures of life like feelings and dating. Because if you were seventeen you would have talked to him and grabbed the opportunity. Because if you were seventeen you would let yourself be swept off your feet by him or by any other man. Because when you were seventeen you let yourself fall in love.

But all of it seems like a scam anyway, especially this guy. So maybe it’s not such a bad thing to feel so removed from it. Or maybe that’s just another excuse not to open yourself up to a wider world and explore wider horizons as Nina puts it.

Saturday nights are supposed to be relaxing. They are supposed to be the one day you get to yourself. The one day you can be free of your boss’s incessant nagging about how you and her son would be the perfect couple and how you would have beautiful babies together. It’s the one day you don’t have a shit ton of work to do and you can put your feet up on the table, grab popcorn and watch horror movies all night long. After all there is nothing like horror movies to de-stress from real life horror called ‘work’. It’s a counterintuitive approach and it works. It’s for cathartic purposes which why you do it despite disapproving looks from Nina.

“You’re so fucking weird cous” she drawls, dipping her hand into the popcorn bowl resting on your lap and taking a handful of it, and spilling some on you. You pick each kernel from your lap and throw it at her. She isn’t fazed by it at all and keeps her eyes glued to the TV.

“I thought this is fucking weird” you scowl at her and then focus your attention to the movie.

“I can still enjoy popcorn,” she says in her usual monotone voice. “Besides, I wouldn’t expect anything exciting from you. Like texting the app guy instead of watching a movie” she pops a few kernels in her mouth like a savage, smearing butter all over her mouth.

Your brows furrow in distaste. “Why can’t you be more… gentle”

“Because I am masculine and gay”

You choke which makes her start laughing. “You are!?” you gawk at her.

“No. Chill. I just like mess you fucking weirdo” a crooked smile forms on her lips.

“Asshole” you throw a kernel at her which hits her cheek. She is yet unfazed by it. “I think your dick disappeared in the womb” you remark at her tomboyish ways which there is nothing wrong with except she doesn’t have a shred of gracefulness in her despite coming from a long line of ballerina’s.

“I know” she grabs another handful and shoves it in her mouth. “Anyway” her voice is unclear as she is in the middle of chewing. “The guy from the app. Have you texted him back?” she rubs her hands on her PJ’s.

You restrain yourself from commenting on her unhygienic ways. “No I haven’t”

“What the fuck are you waiting for? Christmas? It's been more than 24 hours” she looks at you incredulously, disbelief painted on her face clear as day.

“He looks sketchy as fuck” you turn to her.

She guffaws. “Really, cous. You should be the last person passing judgements on men. The last time you were with a guy was when you were seventeen fucking years old”

“Yeah. So?” you shrug, feeling offended by her remark.

“So” she turns her body towards you, placing one foot underneath her knee, sitting partially cross legged. “You are highly unqualified to make that statement. Why do you think I picked him? I know my men”

“It’s a wonder you haven’t died of syphilis”

She rolls her eyes very dramatically and sighs as if she’s about to give up. But then she settles back and regards you in silence. Before you know what’s happening she is grabbing your phone, and unlocking it.

“What are you doing?” you extend an arm across her body to reach for your phone. But she stretches her arm further out of your reach.

“Stop resisting. Trust me you and this guy will hit it off and then you can finally get laid. I can tell he’s a freak in the sheets” she furiously types and waits and then types again.

Sometimes you can’t believe how she strings words together. The things that come out of her mouth will make her poor mother faint. She has no clue she gave birth to the literal spawn of the devil.

“Whatever” you sigh and settle back because there is no point in arguing with her. You would rather not waste any more precious time on her and her stupid antics.

“Here” she throws your phone at you and it lands in your lap. “He’s a fucking catch y/n. Cast your net” she winks.

You look at your phone to find a picture of the cute Pomerian from before. The caption underneath the picture reads “Yeontan”. To your horror you scroll up to find the cheesiest and most disgusting pick up line in the history of pick up lines.

It reads:

Bananamilk: Hey are you art? Because I could look at you all day long ;)))))

Icedtea: Are you religious? Because you are the answer to all my prayers

It's highly mortifying, to say the least. How does she even think of these things? You seriously wonder what goes on in her head. She'll definitely land herself in trouble. But there are more pressing concerns to think of because the art connoisseur guy has sent another picture. You scroll down the chat and find a picture of a dog standing on two paws and the other two held up in air.

Icedtea: can you tell I love my dog?

You have no choice but to text back because Nina is right there and if you don’t she will pester you.

Bananamilk: I sure can :) He's cute too.

Icedtea: How did you know he's a he?

Bananamilk: lucky guess?

You see the three ellipses showing that he's typing so you quickly turn to Nina, who has already changed the movie to some weird random action flick.

"Hey asshole" you throw a pillow at her.

"Yes, weirdo?" she looks from the TV screen to you.

"Why does this scam of an app not have our real names as our users and why did you not use a proper picture of me?" you frown at her.

"Welcome to the 21st century" she offers sarcastically. Of course, what else can you really expect from her? "It's because they offer that as a choice for people who don’t want to share everything on the first try because it’s not a dating app. I told you you can choose what you wanna do. Also, I used that hiking picture of you because well blonde hair looked better on you and those glasses suit you. I thought you wouldn't like showing your face and me putting your name down, so I chose the next best thing"

"Banana milk?" you raise a brow at her, not even trying to hide the judgemental tone behind that comment.

"Hey! banana milk is the best kind of milk okay? Stop being a judgemental bitch"

You chuckle at her expression which screams she's offended. "Thanks anyway. At least you don't completely lack humanity"

“That’s a step up from calling me spawn of the devil” she chuckles, returning her focus to the TV.

Just then your phone vibrates and for some damn reason, your heart skips a beat. You feel your lips tugging at the corners and hurriedly open the text.

Icedtea: I see you also like classical music.

Bananamilk: I love it

Icedtea: it's so much better than all this garbage people spew out and label as music these days

Bananamilk: Right? I've had so many debates about it with people around me and everyone just calls me insipid and biddy.

Icedtea: I take offense to this. Classical music is anything but boring. What's your favourite piece?

Bananamilk: I have a lot but I love Tchaikovsky'Swan Lake. What about you?

Icedtea: That sure is a classic. I might be cliche but I like Beethoven's 7th symphony.

Bananamilk: That isn’t cliche at all. It sure is one of the best ones out there. You have great taste

Icedtea: Thank you m’lady. What else do you like?

Bananamilk: I firmly hold the belief that I was born in the wrong century. But when in Rome live like Romans right?. So...Netflix.

Icedtea: I knew that was coming. No conversation is complete without Netflix. It’s the new status quo

Bananamilk: It is and I HATE the status quo but Netflix is sort of amazing?

Icedtea: Have you watched The Witcher yet?

Bananamilk: I devoured it when it came out. I would never pass on any Henry Cavill show or movie. The man is ethereal and he should be illegal

Somehow talking to this stranger isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. He’s actually kind of sweet and you do share interests in common. Maybe Nina-- the spawn of the devil, is actually onto something. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. Maybe you can pretend to be seventeen for a little while longer.

Icedtea: i have to agree with you on that

Bananamilk: Oh?

Icedtea: Not like that. Like I said in my profile I am an art connoisseur. Would I be wrong in saying that Mr. Henry Cavill is art? I appreciate beauty when I see it. I don’t discriminate or be sexist about it.

Bananamilk: You’re right he is a piece of art. A goddamn fine piece of art.

Icedtea: You’re funny

A laugh escapes past your lips at his compliment making Nina’s attention shift towards you.

“Careful y/n, don’t fall in love too fast” her voice cuts through and pulls you out of your immersed state.

You shoot her a disapproving look. “Only you would say something as irrationly idiotic as that”

“The smile on your face a minute ago said otherwise” she shrugs.

“You’re hallucinating”

“Sure. Whatever you say” she snorts.

You both end up softly chuckling to yourself.

You spend the rest of the night talking to V. It’s what he tells you to call him. At first you found it weird but you felt it too early to probe and pry about his personal life. You figure it must have some meaning for him to ask you to call him that. You end up telling him to call you whatever he wishes and he chooses m’lady, because apparently he is a gentleman and in his words “also born in the wrong century”.

Iced tea: I hated growing up in LA. Worst place ever. Really blows your self esteem to pieces. That’s why I moved to New York

Bananamilk: It’s all about validation at that godforsaken place.

Icedtea: Right? I am so glad I got out of that place.

Bananamilk: Me too. One more year there and I would have lost it. Btw why is your username icedtea? Just curious

Icedtea: I love iced tea. That’s why. When I have to go to these company parties and interact with rich white men, I fool them into thinking I am drinking alcohol and joining the status quo. But it’s actually iced tea. It looks like alcohol anyway so why not?

Bananamilk: I like intellectuals. You sir, sure are one

Icedtea: Thank you m’lady. I suppose you love banana milk?

Bananamilk: Uhhh… i guess you can say so

You lose track of time as you keep texting back and forth, coming to a point where you are just exchanging puns and one liners but then sleep begins to lay heavy in your eyes and the curtain of your lashes starts closing. The last thing you see is a ‘good night’ text from V with a purple heart.

You wake up to a text from V. The initial pleasant feeling comes as a surprise even to you because you didn’t expect to feel so -- special, dare anyone say. It turns out to be a gif of the very sexy Henry Cavill wishing you good morning.

Bananamilk: awww you remembered?

Icedtea: Ofcourse, I did :) A very good morning to you

Bananamilk: Good morning to you too

Icedtea: I am actually heading out so won’t be able to talk much until I get there

Bananamilk: me neither. I am sure a huge pile of work is waiting for me at work

You drag yourself out of the bed, feeling slightly disappointed and dreadful for two reasons. One that you have to go to the doctor. Second, you won’t get much chance to talk to this very pleasing stranger you have actually started to take a liking to. It’s only because you have things in common with him that you feel drawn to him.

Or that’s what gives you comfort when your mind reminds you there is something else happening too— something a little uncomfortable called ‘feelings’

But you’re dead set on believing that it’s because you share commonalities.

At least that’s what you tell yourself in moments when your mind isn’t preoccupied by anything and he pops into your head.

Like when you’re going through paperwork, and nothing particularly is keeping you engaged, conversations with him flash in your head. In particular, the fluttery feeling that rose to your chest yesterday morning when you saw his username appear on your screen and then a very sweet good morning text.

You have never in twenty whole three years of your life received good morning texts. Not even from Woohyun who you were with when you were seventeen. Up until recently you were sure he was your one true love. But somehow that perception is beginning to change. Because a man named V who resides in the Apple city is slowly but surely showing you what a man actually interested in you will do.

So is it really your fault that your chest feels light, your stomach feels tight when you think of him? Is it really your fault that you are in such a good mood? So much so, that when Nina flings the door and walks into your office unannounced you greet her with a smile instead of having a full blown dramatic altercation.

“Woah” she stops in her tracks when she notices your smile. “Where the fuck is y.n?”

“Uhhhh….” you put the papers down. “Right here” you point to yourself.

“No that’s not her” she deadpans. “Did she finally die?”

“Wow” you huff. “Anyway, did you get bored of hell?”

“Hell doesn’t need me right now” she waves you off. You love how you jab at each other but never take it seriously. That’s what you love about her. Ofcourse, you don’t hate her but somehow taking digs at each other has just become the norm. Multiple times people have asked you if you guys really hate each other, and both of you reply positively to those claims, because they don’t need to know that you truly do like each other. “I am here to inquire about you and lover boy”

“L-Lover boy?” your brows furrow. “I don’t even know if it’s a boy. For all I know its a girl and I am falling for a girl”

“And that’s a problem because…?” she trails off, swivelling in the chair in front of you.

“There is nothing wrong with being gay. But I just imagine him as a guy and well I am not really.. You know?”

“I digress. I’ve seen your texts. He’s definitely a guy and charming at that”

“How the fuck did you see my texts?” you gape at her, unable to believe that she’s actually figured out the password to-- but then you remember she’s opened it up twice when she was forcefully trying to set up your profile and get you to talk to V. How this never occurred to you, you don’t know.

“I sneaked into your room at like 5 am, opened it up and read your texts” she says matter-of-factly.

“Is there ever a wrong thing you don’t involve yourself in?”

“Nope” she shakes her head. “You’re going off track, cousin. Tell me the deets”

“There are no deets. Why are you asking? You read the texts anyway” you shake your head at her

“ Not all of them. I have a conscience you know?”

“The Devil has no conscience” you mumble under your breath. “He sent me a good morning text with a Henry Cavill gif captioned good morning”

Her eyes widen, brows risen. “A guy who doesn’t find your Henry Cavill obsession creepy? Told you he’s a fucking catch”

You chuckle “How the hell did you find my office?”

“Simple. I asked around” she purses her lips in a smile.

“You got your so called deets. Now get out” you offer a sarcastic smile before lowering your head and busying yourself in analyzing the reports in front of you.

She gasps. “Wow bitch. So much for helping you” she dramatically places a hand on her chest feigning hurt.

“Get out, asshole” you say in a sing song voice completely avoiding her.

“I am gonna steal this guy from you” she gives you a dirty look. “Just you watch”

“He likes classical music” you quip, keeping your eyes focused on the papers in front of you.

Another gasp fills the air. “Abomination. Nevermind you keep him to yourself. We don’t need that kind of atrocity in the world”

“Bye” you look up from your desk and flash her a quick smile.

“Have a horrible day cousin” she waves as she walks away

“Likewise cousin”

Your phone vibrates and immediately you drop the papers on your desk and reach for it, all preoccupation with work forgotten in a moment.

Icedtea: Save me

Bananamilk: you’re supposed to be my knight in shining armour.

Icedtea: Welcome to the 21st century.

Bananamilk: People keep telling me that :| Why do you need saving?

Icedtea: I am flying out to meet my mother today and let's just say she’s a handful

Bananamilk: that’s mothers for you. But then what would we do without them

Icedtea: thats true. But my mother is on a whole other level.

Bananamilk: everyone thinks that. I am sure you can handle yourself. You are a big boy.

Icedtea: how reassuring.

Bananamilk: I wish I could offer more but sometimes you just have to suck it up.

Icedtea: I suck at sucking it up

It makes you chuckle. You shake your head at the phone as your fingers furiously type.

Bananamilk: Do you trust me?

Iced tea: You use big words

Bananamilk: If you trust me, even just a teeny tiny bit then trust that you will be okay.

Icedtea: Six-ish hours in an airplane. That should be fun

Bananamilk: You will be fine.

Icedtea: if you say so m’lady. Anyway, I gotta catch my flight. I will talk to you later. Promise.

Bananamilk: Have a safe flight V :)

Icedtea: See ya later alligator ;)

You turn off your phone and lower your head resting it atop your arms on your desk. Somehow you feel giddy. You feel warmth coursing through you, yet a sudden shiver passes through your body. The conversation repeats in your head and you wonder about the face that hides behind the other side of the screen. What does he actually look like? It’s hard when you don’t know, to imagine how he smiles, what he looks like when he laughs, when he frowns. All the emotions he evokes in you, you want to know what they look like on him.

It’s a strange feeling to behold these feelings, to have them flow through you when you don’t even know who it is on the other side. In a way it’s a recipe for disaster because things like this don’t end well for most people. Yet here you are stuck in a very surreal situation, one you never thought you would find yourself in.

The rest of the day after your conversation with V, passes by very quickly. It would have dragged on, had it not been for the mood he had managed to put you in. After a while, even the amount of paperwork on your desk couldn’t deter and terrify you. If anything, being able to talk to him after work motivated you to work faster. And working actually distracted you from him which is a good thing because you do need to get work done. So in a way, it worked out either way.

The day surprisingly ends with Mrs.K not calling you into her office even once. You would feel thankful anytime for this, but especially this particular day you feel grateful because it surely would have put a small damper on your mood. You gather your belongings and head out, glancing at your phone here and there. Has he reached safely? That is the one thought that occupies your head.

He hasn’t texted you so you think he’s either not landed yet, or he’s busy. You didn’t want to press him for details. Although you do feel like you are at that friendship stage, it only feels like the beginning. So you want to still maintain boundaries as best you can. Just because it’s an online thing doesn’t mean boundaries don’t exist-- a fact many people fail to grasp.

You mindlessly reach the lobby without even realizing it. You’re stepping out of the elevators when you see Mrs K. walking with a man, her hand hooked in the crook of his elbow. By the looks of it, he appears to be young. He’s definitely tall- close to six feet probably. Something falls out of his pocket as you observe them. You try to call out but decide it’s better to just pick it up and give it to him.

You jog to where the object has dropped and as you draw closer you realize it’s a piece of paper. You don’t mean to pry but as you pick it up the paper slightly unfolds and curiosity ends up getting the best of you. It’s not like you opened it. It unfolded itself, so you take it upon yourself to straighten out the rest. It’s a beautiful sketch of a girl. She looks like she’s in her twenties. The way he drew her eyes makes it look like she’s holding stars behind them and gives the illusion of them sparkling. Must be someone he likes, or someone he admires. You quickly fold it back, not wanting to further invade the stranger’s privacy.

“Excuse me!” you call out.

Mrs. K turns around first and then the young man next to her does the same. His eyes land right on you and feeling his gaze, your eyes flicker from Mrs K. to him. You were right. He is young, and extremely handsome. He’s got permed hair that falls as bangs on his forehead. His black hair is a little grown out as it forms a nape on his neck like a mullet. For a brief second you want to run your hand through his head. He’s even wearing a suit so you imagine he might be a corporate guy. It seems to be perfectly tailored to him, the jacket flaring slightly just above his waist and the pants accentuating his long lean legs.

Shaking away the thoughts, you approach them. “You dropped this” hand outstretched. You hold out the drawing to him.

“Thank you” comes his deep voice. It doesn’t match very well with his face because he looks like someone who would have a softer voice.

“No problem” you smile and he takes the paper from your hand, his fingers gently grazing yours as he does so, and a shiver runs down your spine at the contact. You ignore the sensation and turn to Mrs.K. “Hello Mrs. K.” you greet her holding onto your smile.

“Y/n! Lovely that we ran into you here.”

“Y/n?” the young man looks at Mrs. K and then at you with a raised brow

“This is the girl I have been telling you about all along” she looks giddly between you and him. “Y/n this is my son” he unhooks her arm from his elbow and he politely puts his hands together in front of himself.

Oh so this is him.

He first offers you a small nod and then extends his hand. “I am Kim Taehyung”

You look between the mother and son, eyes stopping on the man you know as Taehyung.His name does ring a bell given the countless times it’s been mentioned to you. “Nice to meet you Taehyung. I am y/n” you shake his hand which is warm and just firm enough.

“Pleasure is mine. I have heard a lot about you” he smiles in that knowing way, a glint of recognition of his mother’s words reflecting in his eyes. He’s surely referring to the tons of times Mrs K. would’ve mentioned you as a potential romantic partner.

“I have heard tons about you too” your lips curve up in an unintentional smile as his eyes bore into yours. There is a moment of silence as both of you quietly look at each other until Mrs. K clears her throat and you both look away.

“My mother seems to be a fan of yours. That’s a hard feat. I haven’t been able to do that in twenty-five years of my life” his lips split in a mischievous smile which is warm and you feel yourself falling into it as well.

“She adores you” you look between Mrs K. and him.

“You’re just saying that because she’s right here and you can’t out her because she’s your boss. Be honest” he retorts in a playful tone.

Mrs Kim. gently slaps him across the shoulder. “Stop it. You’re embarrassing me”

You chuckle at the cuteness that is Mrs K, and even her son Kim Taehyung.

“I am sorry if I interrupted you. I only wanted to give you the paper. It fell out of your pocket” you look at Taehyung and then at Mrs. K feeling a little guilty about imposing on their time.

“Oh you stop it too y/n” Mrs.K waves you off. “I am very glad you bumped into us like this. Now I have somewhere very important to be” she looks at her watch. “Taehyung be the gentleman that I raised you to be and drop y/n off at home”

“No-” you open your mouth in protest but Mrs. K is already walking the opposite way towards the doors, albeit very hurriedly. Taehyung turns around to watch his mother amble away, leaving him and you alone. That was her intention the moment you stepped into the scene.

He turns back around to face you. “She’s not very subtle about it is she?” and then he breaks out into a grin.

“I am sorry to say this. But no” you grimace slightly.

“It’s quite alright. I know she can be a handful”

You remember how V called his mother a handful too and chuckle.

“What is it?” his brows knit together in confusion.

“It’s just that someone said that to me this morning. But sometimes you have to suck it up” your eyes lock on Taehyung’s.

He laughs lightly too. “Funny. Someone said that to me this morning”

“That is…” you pause to search for the right word. “A little bit strange”

“Well, stranger things have happened miss y/n”

Little did you know both know he was right. Among the many strange that could happen, one of them was happening to you both and neither of you were aware of it.

Taehyung being the filial son to his mother, decides to drive you home despite your protestation. He wouldn’t take no for an answer so despite yourself you agree to let him give you a ride. He’s actually as nice as his mother had said he is, and now you realize she wasn’t just saying that because he is her son. He really does have a warm personality, and you feel drawn to him. You can’t pinpoint it exactly to one thing because it’s several reasons—it’s the way he conducts himself, the way he speaks with authority yet politeness, the way he is so grounded and humble-- all of it makes him appealing.

Even though he hails from a super rich family, drives an expensive Maybach which is worth more than your three year salary combined, and wears a suit that you can’t even think of buying-- he’s so humble. He isn’t flashy about it. He hasn’t once flexed his wealth or brought up his family with you.

“I really want to apologize for my mother” he glances at you quickly before focusing back on the road.

“It’s alright. You don’t have to talk so formally by the way” you try your best to put him at ease because since the moment you have met him he has been nothing but respectful.

“Okay” he quips. “But I really am sorry. I know she can be a little bit too imposing sometimes”

“She can. But I understand the reason. You’re her only son and she wants the best or you”

You can feel his eyes on you which makes you turn to him. “What is it?” you question.

He’s silent as he studies you, gaze lingering for a second longer and then he shifts his eyes to the road. “You’re not at all like my mother described you”

“Really?”

He nods. “You’re better” he glances at you from the corners of his eyes.

Your heart skips a beat at hearing him say that. “I am flattered. I always thought she was building you up and that you weren’t actually what she made you out to be”

“And...?” he trails off as he quickly does a shoulder check and changes lanes.

You let the silence build for a moment before speaking. “You’ve exceeded my expectations” a slow smile appears on your lips.You watch as he turns to you briefly and his mouth parts into a small smile as well.

Silence falls over you. You look out of the window and watch as the city passes you by with its tall buildings, skyscrapers and large mountains. You rest your head against the headrest and fumble with your fingers absentmindedly, absorbing yourself into the passing landscape. Out of the corner of your eyes you notice Taehyung loosening his tie, an action that ends up making you smile to yourself-- for what reason, you don’t know. You have known him for ten minutes and he’s already having an effect on you.

“Music?” his voice cuts through the heavy silence, which comes as welcomed relief.

“Sure” you nod.

A second later music drifts through the speakers. The melody is familiar but because the volume is turned low, you can’t make it out.

“Can I turn it up if you don’t mind?”

“Please go ahead” he motions to the navigation system and you turn the dial.

You wait for a moment as you take in the melody. “Is this Claire de Lune?”

“You know it?” he looks at you from the periphery of his vision, slightly turning his head towards you.

“Who doesn’t?” you look at him as if it’s the most obvious thing that everyone knows what Claire de Lune is. “Actually I take it back”

He laughs and turns the volume lower so you can talk. “You are the second person I know who is into classical music. I think it’s my lucky week or something”

Your lips teeter in a smile. “Who is the first person?”

He doesn’t respond immediately and you notice him blinking rapidly as if he’s trying to contemplate what to say. “Someone I know” he says softly

“Well now you know two people who share your interest”

“That I do” he grins at you like a child does when they get their favorite toy or candy.

It’s silent again until your stomach grumbles, catching Taehyung’s attention. “Someone’s hungry”

Your cheeks flush in embarrassment, and the overall result is you lowering your head and tightening your arms around your torso. “I had a lot of paperwork to look over so I didn’t take lunch”

“I know a good place, if you want to grab a bite?”

You ponder his offer. “I don’t think you’re a serial killer so I think it’s safe to go with you”

A soft chuckle falls from his lips at your joke which suddenly makes a feeling of pride rise in your chest. “I listen to classical music” he wags his brows at you playfully. “Most definitive sign of a serial killer”

“I have pepper spray so I’ll be okay” you say.

It comes out more matter of factly which makes him do a double take “Wait, do you really have pepper spray?” a slight look of confusion presents on his face as his brows crinkle.

“No” you laugh and shake your head. “I am joking”

“Sense of humor. I like it” he nods slowly as if he’s impressed.

“Well I could say the same for you”

By the time you reach the place Taehyung wanted to bring you to, the sun has already set behind the mountains in the distance. The sky welcomes the dusk by softly melting from blue to black and a slight chill settles into the air.

While you fumble with the belt, Taehyung much to your surprise gets out of the car. You follow his movements and watch him coming around to your side and open the door for you.

You still can’t unbuckle your seatbelt. Fancy cars and their fancy seatbelts, you think. It shouldn’t have to be so hard but when something costs a fortune obviously there are going to things beyond the capacity of a common person like this seatbelt from hell.

“May I?” Taehyung questions as he holds the door open and points to the seatbelt.

“Thank you” you stop struggling with it and pull your hands back in your lap.

“Sorry” he mumbles, ducking his head before he reaches across you and unbuckles it for you with a single click. He’s slowly pulling back when he stops, face inches away from yours, his warm breath fanning your face. His gaze lingers on you for a few seconds before he steps back and offers you his hand. You gratefully take it and with his help lift yourself up and out of the car.

Thank you again” you say softly and he nods.

He nods. “There’s something…” he reaches up and presses a finger to your cheek. He pulls it back and shows it to you. “Make a wish” he whispers.

“W-what?” you whisper back in an entranced state.

“You’re supposed to make a wish when a lash falls on your cheek” he says gently, reaching down to grab one of your hands. He then places it on the back of your hand. The spot he had touched makes your skin tingle.

He’s holding your entire attention without even trying. Your mind is blank, and your eyes refuse to leave his gaze. It’s like he’s bewitched you, and you will be putty in his hands if he wished it this second. You would forget your inhibitions if he told you to. You’d give into whatever he tells you to if it means he’ll continue to look at you like he can’t see anything else around him.

“Wish miss y/n” he motions to your hand as a reminder.

“I don’t know what to wish for” your voice comes out just a touch shy of a whisper.

“Anything” his mouth parts in that heartbreakingly beautiful smile. “Whatever you want, it’s yours to wish for”

With those simple words melting into your mind like a mantra, you close your eyes and wish with your entire being. You open your eyes to find him looking at you with that soft look in his eyes.

“What did you wish for?” he asks

“I don’t wish and tell” you joke

He laughs. “Alright. Fair enough. Shall we go inside?” he offers his arm.

“I am not sure you’re real” you chuckle hooking your hand in his elbow.

“I am very real” he leans down towards you. “You can check” he turns his cheek in your direction for you to satisfy your curiosity.

You poke his cheek, a bit harder than you’re meant to just to tease him. “Real for sure”

“That’s gonna bruise” his lip juts in a pout as he straightens up. “Like my dear mother said before, she raised me to be a gentleman”

“You should have been born like ten decades earlier” you tease.

“I know. I was born in the wrong century” he begins walking again with you in tow.

You walk across the parking lot and arrive at the restaurant. To your surprise it isn’t an expensive place you had been expecting. It’s a mid range restaurant, the perfect combination of affordable and fancy. You can eat what you want without having to worry about your bank balance but still feel bougie while doing so.

There is no line up but from the large windows you can see the whole restaurant is full, a good indication that the food must be delicious. Just the thought makes your mouth water. Taehyung holds the door open for you and you step inside. You wait for him and then both of you proceed further where you are greeted by the hostess.

“Your name please Sir?” she asks graciously

“Kim Taehyung” he replies with a thin lipped smile

“Right this way Mr. and Mrs.Kim” she says, and you open your mouth to protest but Taehyung vigorously shakes his head. Confusedly you follow behind him, hand still resting in the crook of his elbow. The hostess leads you to a table in a quiet corner for which you feel thankful.

She lays down your menus on the table and then saunters off. Taehyung unwraps your hand from his arm gently and is quick to pull back a chair. “Here wifey” he says with a wink.

“Excuse me?” you try to hold back your laugh.

“You’re my wife so this is the least I can do for you” he grins from ear to ear

You shake your head and comply. Once you’re seated he pushes the chair in and then rounds the table to sit in front of you.

“We’ve only known each other for” you look at your watch and then up at him. “Thirty minutes and now I am your wife?”

“Come on. You might as well be because my dear mother is hell bent on you and I getting together” he says with a playful smile.

“Hmm” you lean back against your chair as you scrutinize him. “Jokes aside. What’s your honest opinion on that?” somehow the curiosity ends up getting the better of you. You weren’t going to ask him but since he brought it up you really did want to know what he thought about all of it because eventually one day you would have had to meet him anyway. You already told Mrs.K you would so now is better than later.

“Honestly? I don’t know what I think about the prospect of us”

You feel a slight pang rise in your chest at his remark. “Is there someone else?”

“Ummm” his lip protrudes in a pout as he thinks. “Not really”

“It’s alright you can tell me” you prompt, genuinely interested. But underneath all of that is somehow a slight twinge of disappointment that settles in your chest.

“I met her online” he quips, looking away sheepishly. “But it’s just friendship at this point. Nothing more”

“Never know Mr.Kim. It might turn into something more”

“Eh” he shrugs. “Mrs. Kim” he adds with a goofy grin. “I like how it sounds”

“What?”

“Mr. and Mrs.Kim. It’s pleasant to hear”

“Don’t get hung up on it” you chuckle.

“Don’t break my heart okay?”

“You are something else Kim Taehyung” you shake your head at him with a smile

You spend the rest of the time at the restaurant ordering food, eating and talking. Being around him is like comfort. It feels like coming home after a long hard day at work and relaxing. Being around him is also intoxicating because he feels a little bit like a drug— addicting and euphoric.

You find out that you and him share not only love for classical music but also for reading. He’s apparently very big on classics like 1984 and Brave New World. Brave New World was the first novel you ever read and it captivated you in a way nothing has captured your attention— until V and Taehyung.

“1984 was so amazing. It’s Orwell’s masterpiece” his voice sounds distant in your ears.

“Hmm?” you blink away your thoughts focusing back on him, the feeling of nervousness slowly pooling in your stomach.

“What’s on your mind?” he drops the fork he’s holding, and focuses all his attention on you as he stares at you intently.

“Nothing. I just zoned out” you supply with a pursed smile.

“I see why my mother likes you”

“Why?”

“You have a way of making people curious. I look at you and I think she’s an open book. But then I talk to you and you’re a complete mystery” his eyes crinkle at the corners as he very imperceptibly narrows his eyes in that intrigued kind of way.

“Trust me. I am no mystery. I lay it all out there for people to see because I can’t do mystery”

“Are you sure y/n?” your name falls softly through his lips. “Because I feel like I know you, yet I don’t”

You chuckle and shake your head. “What do you want to know?”

“What would you be comfortable sharing?”

He couldn’t get any more perfect could he?

Never before has anyone in your life ever asked you that. People always list out things they would like to know. They never ask for permission or even consider if what they want to know is something you’re okay talking about.

“I-”

“Are you enjoying everything Mr. and Mrs. Kim?” The hostess comes by your table.

“Actually the thing is we’re-”

“Everything is delicious. Thank you” Taehyung replies with a warm smile.

“Enjoy” she says and then strides away to another table.

Once she leaves you turn to him. “You are enjoying this aren’t you? This whole Mr. and Mrs. Kim thing”

“Oh come on. Don’t be a joy killer. I told you I love how it sounds. And I like being Mr. Kim” he shrugs.

“But you’re Mr. Kim anyway” you remind him.

“Yeah. But the context is different. I am the ‘married’ Mr. Kim right now.” he says it so lightly it almost makes you choke. You don’t even think he realizes how that sounds.

“Get married and then you’ll always be the married Mr. Kim.” you tease despite feeling like it’s a little too flirty for the first meeting. You take a sip of water feeling your throat drying by the second.

“Then marry me y/n”

You choke on the water “W-what?” a cough passes through your chest and out.

He silently observes the shocked expression on your face, a smile teetering at the edge of his lips. “I am kidding.” he replies a moment later.

“Good. I thought you were serious for a second” you shake your head at him grabbing a napkin to wipe your mouth.

He grins goofily at you. “Are you okay though?”

“No thanks to you” you reach for the glass of water and chug it.

After dinner Taehyung suggests dessert. It turns out you both share an undying love for shaved ice. Taehyung even pulls out pictures of him in fancy shaved ice places in New York to prove to you he’s serious. In turn you show him a list of shaved ice you have already tried and how you’ve ranked them from best to worst.

“No way. You think strawberry is the worst flavor?” he looks at you, disbelief and incredible disappointment painted altogether on his face.

“I am sorry. I think it is. But mango, now that’s a great shaved ice flavor. Strawberry is too light for me”

“Wow. I am thoroughly offended” he huffs and pouts like a child.

“I didn’t mean to offend you. I am just being honest” you pat him on the back with mock sympathy.

“Well your honesty hurts. Strawberries are the best thing in the world” he continues to pout as you walk to the shaved ice place

“Do you feel this strongly about anything else in your life Taehyung?”

“No. My grandparents own a strawberry farm and I grew up eating strawberries. So, I am highly biased towards them”

You nod in understanding because it makes sense why he would violently hold so much love for strawberries. “Mrs.K never mentioned that”

“I think she’s embarrassed by it,” he shrugs. “Or maybe it just never came up”

You round the corner and arrive in front of the shaved ice shop. Taehyung once again opens the door for you.

“You have to stop doing this” you mumble as you step in first.

“Why?” his brows crinkle as he enters after you, gently placing a hand on the small of your back to guide you through the sea of people

“People will think we are actually together”

“So?” he shrugs like he couldn’t care less. “I thought you didn’t care what people think”

You regard him as you stand in line to order, forced to think about your perception. “Actually. Yeah I don’t care” you say firmly because it shouldn’t matter what people think.

“I don’t see the point of living my life on others’ terms” he says with a serious face.

“That’s fair” you reply. He’s right. You shouldn’t care what people think and the confidence with which he says it makes you question all the times in your life you have let others get to you.

“So” he turns to look at the giant board on the wall behind the cash register displaying the different flavours. “I assume it’s Tropical Mango shaved ice for you”

You pout as you think. “You know what, I’ll give the strawberry a try”

His eyes widen allowing a sparkle to reflect in his eyes. “Really?”

You nod. In response his smile grows wider and wider until he’s positively beaming. Your turn to order arrives fairly quickly and Taehyung places the order. You don’t pay attention though because you are enraptured by the way light reflects on his face and makes his sun kissed skin look even more golden. You get entrapped by his voice which sends shivers down your spine yet is somehow comforting.

Of course when you say you can split the bill he violently shakes his head and refuses to let you pay. You take your number and find a seat at the corner after he ushers you the table and excuses himself to use the washroom. You pull out your phone now that you have some time and send a text to V. He’s been in the back of your mind all day long.

Bananamilk: Hey V, did you reach safely?

Almost instantly you receive a reply which makes your heart pound hard against your chest..

Icedtea: Yes I did. I am so sorry I couldn’t message earlier. My mom kind of ditched me. But I made a new friend because of it!

A smile unconsciously squeezes its way onto your lips despite your efforts not to.

Bananamilk: that’s great! I hope you’re having fun

Icedtea: I am. She’s great 😊

Bananamilk: Oh it’s a girl

Even your message itself sounds jealous of this girl. He’ll obviously catch it.

Icedtea: Is someone jealous?

Bananamilk: I am not jealous. I just made a comment

Icedtea: Sure. Whatever you say m’lady ;)

Bananamilk: V! I am not jealous. I am happy you made a new friend. I also made a new friend and he’s awesome.

Icedtea: 🤔 is he more handsome than I am?

Bananamilk: I don’t even know what you look like

Icedtea: yes you do

Bananamilk: can’t really see your face in the pictures

Icedtea: you’ll see it soon enough. One day.

Bananamilk: if your face is anything like your personality, I am sure you are beautiful

Icedtea: you really know how to stroke a mans’ ego

Bananamilk: don’t let it get to you

Icedtea: Don’t change the subject m’lady.

Bananamilk: you changed the subject V

Icedtea: are you having a good time with your new friend?

Bananamilk: he’s a really nice guy. You know strangely enough he reminds me of you

Icedtea: Oh really? That’s good then. At least you will remember me when you’re with him. Works for me!

Bananamilk: shut up.

Icedtea: I am sure you’re blushing right now

He’s not wrong. A soft heat starts building under your cheeks and then it violently flares into a red that covers your face. You can feel the heat settling in, emanating from your skin.

Bananamilk: I’ll have to remind myself to not pay you compliments again

Icedtea: That just tells me you’re actually blushing.

Bananamilk: Oh god. Why are you so fixated on it?

Icedtea: I like the idea of you blushing because of me

Bananamilk: 🙄

Icedtea: How cute

Bananamilk: Aren’t you supposed to be with your friend? Emphasis on the friend

Icedtea: I knew you were jealous! But yes she’s waiting for me so I should probably go. Talk to you later?

Bananamilk: If you stop being weird I’ll talk to you

Icedtea: Haha okay. I’ll talk to you later m’lady 🤗

Bananamilk: Talk to you later V 🤗

With that last text sent you already feel the anticipation building for when you get to talk to him next. It baffles you as the recognition crosses your mind and you become aware of your own feelings.

Before you can further dwell on it Kim Taehyung approaches your table and takes the seat in front of you.

“You’re red like a tomato” he remarks, a curious look crossing his face.

“I am what?” you touch your cheeks.

“Red. Completely and absolutely red” he repeats.

“I just feel like it’s hot in here” you fan your face avoiding his gaze.

“Like I said you’re a complete mystery” he replies. You assume because of the lack of context he finds you are hiding something which seems fair enough.

“About that” you stop your ministrations and find the courage to look at him. “Ask me whatever you like”

“That’s very vague”

“Fine. I’ll tell you myself. I grew up in LA. Lived there until two years ago and then moved here to San Francisco. Then somehow by luck I ended up getting a job at Misim and now I am here, sitting in front of you”

“Shut up” his jaw drops. “You grew up in LA too?”

“You grew up in LA?” you repeat back, feeling curious.

“I did. I lived there until about eighteen and then we moved here to San Fran. My mom then founded Misim and she initially wanted me to run the company but I have no interest in that side of things. So I moved to New York after high school and got a full scholarship to Columbia” he grabs a glass and pours water and slides it towards you and then pours himself one and takes a sip.

“ You went to Columbia?” you gawk at him.

“That hard to believe huh?” he chuckles

“No. It’s not that. I don’t know anyone who went there and that too on full scholarship. What did you study at Columbia?”

“Business marketing” he quips, taking another sip of water.

“Wow” you nod slowly, filled with acknowledgement that he’s not only got beauty but he’s also got the brains. More than that though it’s the recognition that he’s a whole package which is slowly settling its roots in you. He’s got the personality to go with it. It’s the awareness that the more you talk to him the more he piques your interest and the more you want to know. “Why business marketing?”

“I am a nerd that’s why” his lips flutter open ever so softly in a smile.

“A self-proclaimed nerd. Wow. I like it. What else makes you a nerd?” you chuckle.

“I love art, travelling, learning about anything I can get my hands on. If you think about it, we can learn from anyone and anything. You just have to have that mindset”

“Where have you travelled to?”

“I went to Bali a few months ago. Before that I was in Italy and then Peru and right after highschool I went to Morocco”

“That’s amazing! I’ve always wanted to travel” you say, feeling slightly disappointed at not having had the opportunity to go where you have always wanted to.

“I sense a ‘but’ in there somewhere”

“But” you sigh. “I never had the time. Not to mention it’s an expensive habit”

“I’ll take you. Wherever you want to go” he replies

“You’ll take me?” you narrow your eyes at him warily.

“I will” he shrugs.

“You don’t even know me”

“Something tells me miss y/n, we’ll be seeing each other a lot. So I’ll get to know you and then I’ll take you wherever you want to go”

“What gives you that idea?” you lean in slightly intrigued by his confidence.

“What would you say if I asked you right now that there is somewhere I want to take you and that if you’re free next weekend I would love to show you” he asks exuding a kind of confidence you have never felt yourself subjected to before.

Would you say no? No.

Will you take the time to pretend like you’re thinking so you don’t come off as eager? Yes.

So after a moment of acting like you’re mulling it over, you reply. “I would say that I would love to go with you next Saturday”

“See?I told you we will be seeing each other”

“How did you know I would say yes? You wouldn’t have been that confident if you didn’t know Kim Taehyung”

“Because there’s something here even though I don’t know about the prospect of us” he points between you and him. “I know you feel it too”

“Hmm” you nod, unable to deny that there is something between the two of you and also unable to form words because you can’t get into details of it.

“Here’s your half mango and half strawberry shaved ice” you are distracted by the girl who had taken your order. She sets the huge bowl down, one side furiously pink and filled with strawberries while the other a deep yellow and topped with mangoes.

“You ordered half and half?” you blink at Taehyung. It leaves you feeling a little touched because you find the gesture considerate. You haven’t encountered people in your life who are thoughtful like he is.

This is when it dawns on you— a simple yet complex realization. You like V and you are attracted to Taehyung. Two days ago you didn’t have time nor the intention of getting involved in the matters of the heart. Yet two days later you are sitting in front of a man that makes you feel like you matter even though you have known him for less than an hour. And here you are also waiting for texts from a guy who is faceless yet he makes you feel like you could float on clouds.

It’s funny how it’s so easy to catch feelings. One look, one word, a simple action, one kind gesture can kickstart the hurricane of absolutely confusing emotions.

You’re thoroughly fucked aren’t you?

“I thought if you were willing to forgo your hatred for strawberries, which I still take offense to by the way. I thought the least I could do was order your favorite and try it myself too” he offers you a spoon.

You let your gaze linger a little bit longer on his sparkling eyes, before you take the spoon from him and dig in. You take a bite and he watches in anticipation as you slowly savour the flavour.

“The verdict is….” he trails off.

Your lips protrude in a pout. “Well… it’s not as bad as I previously said”

“Yes!” he curls his fingers into his a fist and fist bumps the air. “So does it move up the list?” he wags his brows playfully.

“One spot” you scoop some shaved ice in your mouth.

“That’s an improvement.” he laughs softly and takes a bite of the mango flavour on his side.

You watch as he slowly nods. You feel nervous because you want him to like it. He still hasn’t said a word and he’s sitting there with a kind of dazed look on his face.

“Taehyung?” you wave your hand in front of his face. “Are you okay?”

He sort of shudders and blinks up at you. “Brain freeze I think”

You chuckle at the cuteness that is Kim Taehyung. When he’s sitting this close to you in good lighting you really do get to take a good look at him. His features are very soft-- his eyes the softest of them all. His cheeks are full and you just wish you could squeeze them.

He has a warm personality, one that makes you feel like you are surrounded by the light of a thousand suns. His energy is bright and infectious and he’s insanely confident in himself which is what you can’t get enough of.

You blink away from your entranced state at being subjected to a very intense look by him. “S-sorry. Uhh.. do you like it?” you try to change the subject feeling slightly embarrassed at having been caught staring.

His gaze lingers on you for a second more before he’s breaking out into a knowing grin. You know he’s aware you were staring at him. But he just smiles about it, doesn’t try to call you out, and smoothly changes the subject “It’s good. But I am always going to be a strawberries man”

You giggle at the comment.

“I promise I am going to make you love strawberries” he quips, reaching over to your side of the bowl and putting a spoonful of strawberries in his mouth. “See, this is what happiness tastes like” his voice is muffled by all the strawberries in his mouth.

“I think I am starting to like them already” your mouth falters into a grin as you watch the man in front of you filled with a sense of warmth.

At your mild mannered compliment Taehyung’s grin stretches wide across his face, eyes disappearing into crescents.

That night after Taehyung drops you home, you are greeted by a wide awake Nina, sitting in her PJ’s violently flipping through the channels. As soon as you enter, she jumps from her spot and runs over to you.

“Who was the extremely handsome guy who dropped you off?” she tugs your arm and leads you to the couch where she makes you sit down. She takes your purse and haphazardly throws it on the loveseat, fixing her attention to you. She looks at you in anticipation, and you can see the excitement in the way she’s leaning in, and her brows are raised and she’s tapping her foot on the floor impatiently.

“That’s my boss’s son. Taehyung” you supply

“He’s hot y/n. Like super hot. Can you get me his number please?”

“What? No!” you shuffle back a little.

“Why?!” she whines.

“Because he’s my boss’s son” you avoid looking at her. You can feel her eyes on you, studying you carefully. The silence weighs heavy on your ears and despite the urge to break it and say something, you choose to remain quiet too.

“You like him” she states matter-of-factly.

“What the fuck! No” you vigorously shake your head.

“You can’t lie cousin. You suck at it. You like this guy. I saw you. You were smiling like a whipped idiot when you were saying bye to him. I was right there” she points to the large window by the front door now curtained. “Dare I say, I think you guys were flirting”

“No we were not” you say firmly

“If it helps, I think he’s into you too” she shrugs

“You think so?” it comes out lightning quick which makes Nina raise her brows curiously.

“That gets a reaction from you. And you’re telling me you don’t like him. Look at how eager you are to get my opinion on it. You want to talk about this and you know it” she clicks her tongue and pouts at you.

“Maybe I find him a teeny tiny bit attractive. But that doesn’t mean I like him” you huff, trying your hardest to pretend that the insinuation offends you but she sees right through you.

“It’s all the same y/n. Go out with him. Ask him”

“Uhhh… he kinda already asked me to go somewhere with him next weekend and I agreed to it” you mumble the last part quietly and Nina has to lean in to catch what you said.

“Wow. Miss I-don’t-like-him has a date and yet refuses to acknowledge she likes him.”

“It’s not a date!” you say defensively. “It’s just a friendly hangout.

“Right” she shakes her head. “Just a friendly hang out” she uses air quotes. “What are you, five?”

“Ughh. Whatever. Stop being so obsessed with my love life” you lean against the back of the couch, rubbing your temples.

Your phone buzzes and Nina reaches across into your purse and pulls it out. You watch her brows rise and mouth open as she reads whatever is on the screen. “Uhhh lover boys have messaged you” she holds the phone up for you to see one message from Taehyung and one from V both showing up on your notifications one under the other.

“Fuck” you mutter as you take it from her.

“Yeah you are fucked cousin. Two hotties and you. Now that’s what I am talking about” she winks in a suggestive and sleazy manner.

“Nina!” you chide. “Get your mind out of the gutter. Please”

“Okay fine” she sighs. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I am attracted to them both” you mumble sheepishly hiding your face behind your hands out of embarrassment.

“Who do you like more though?”

“They’re both so sweet. V makes my heart flutter and he makes me smile in a way no one does. I feel like I have known him forever. He just gets me in a way no one does. But Taehyung makes me curious. He excites me. He makes me want to be seventeen again”

“That’s tough” she pats you on the shoulder sympathetically. “You know you can’t have both right?”

For the first time Nina has said something right. It takes you by surprise but you don’t have the energy to dwell on the sudden show of maturity. “I know” you groan.

“Well I’ll let you sit with this” she offers her usual pursed lip, uninterested smile. “I am going to sleep” she stifles a yawn.

You roll your eyes. “Yeah great. I’ll just agonize over this while you sleep”

“Sorry cousin. I need my beauty sleep. Besides I doubt I’ll be of much help” she gets up with a groan and stretches her hands over her head, and drags her feet over the floor as per usual.

“You’re never any help” you mutter, diving face down onto the couch.

You grab your phone, the light blinding you as you scrunch your eyes to stop it from hurting. Once you adjust to it you open the message from Taehyung:

I had a really fun time today. Can’t wait to see you again on Saturday. Good night y/n :) 💤

You scroll the notification banner down and click on V’s message.

Icedtea: I am sorry we weren’t able to talk a whole lot. I got busy with the friend I told you about. I promise we’ll catch up tomorrow. Good night 😴

You turn on your back, staring blankly at the ceiling. There isn’t going to be any sleep tonight.

Yeah you’re thoroughly fucked.

Absolutely. Utterly. Completely. Screwed.

On Friday morning Mrs. K calls you early to tell you that you don’t need to go into work. She leaves a long winded voice message about how Taehyung told her about taking you out on Saturday and she doesn’t want you to be tired for the day. So she just wants you to rest up and is giving you the day off.

That comes as a respite because a day off is exactly what you need. You have too much on your mind between V and Taehyung. Feelings are exhausting in general. But when you’re like a pendulum swinging from one boy to the other it’s ten times more excruciating to deal with.

You lounge around the whole day, not wanting to do anything because you know that Saturday is coming soon. The anxiety in itself is enough to render you useless for the rest of the day. It’s worse since Nina isn’t home. If she were there she would have already dragged you out someplace against your will and forced you to eat some kind of eclectic food you probably wouldn’t even want in the first place.

That’s exactly what you need— a huge distraction from your even bigger problem of having fallen two guys at the same time. People have a hard enough time dealing with one, but your destiny has blessed you with dealing with emotions for two men who you feel thoroughly incapable of choosing between.

As if on cue your phone chimes and you pick it up lazily already having an inkling as to who it will be.

Icedtea: Hey! what are you upto?

“Wallowing in my misery” you grumble as you stare at the message but begin typing the exact opposite.

Bananamilk: I am doing...amazing!

An instant reply arrives bringing with a pang of nervousness in your chest.

Icedtea: No one says they’re doing amazing unless they are going through something horrible. What are you going through?

Your breath gets stuck in your throat, your thoughts on pause as you read the message. He can’t see you, he doesn’t even know you all that well. For fucks sake he’s texting you.

Bananamilk: that’s creepy V. But spot on. I am going through something

Icedtea: Wanna talk about it?

“Not with you because you’re part of the reason I feel this way” you sigh as you speak to the screen like he can hear you or see you through it.

Bananamilk: I’ll be alright. I’ll survive 😊

Icedtea: Alright. But you know if you want to talk about it I am just a text away.

Bananamilk: Yes I know :) Thank you. Onto happier subjects. How did your day with your friend go?

Icedtea: It was a lot of fun. I am seeing her again soon. How was yours with your friend?

Bananamilk: I had fun too. But I am so tired

Icedtea: I know what will help. Give me a sec

The three ellipses show that he’s typing so you patiently wait. Not too patiently though because as you cross the five second mark the suspense starts to get the best of you and you sit up in your bed tapping your fingers impatiently against the back of the phone.

Icedtea has shared a link.

You open it to find a link to Spotify and clicking the link transports you to the music app.

A notification banner pops up on your screen with the following message:

Icedtea: I made that playlist for you.

Giddily you click on it to reply.

Bananamilk: you made a playlist for me?

Icedtea: Yeah. I was listening to music and then I remembered you told me you like Tchaikovsky so I made it for you with all his pieces. I hope it helps you get through whatever you’re going through

Bananamilk: Oh my god I love you V ❤️

You smile as you read the message and then it melts into panic.

“Fuck” your eyes widen as the words glare back at you blindingly bright. It’s as if you acquire tunnel vision and all you can fixate on is ‘I love you V’. “Shit. Fuck.” the sense of urgency gets the best of you as you jump out of your bed and proceed to scream and yell until you’ve almost pulled your hair out.

“I heard yelling” Nina pops her head into your room.

“That was me” you mumble . “Wait I thought you weren’t home”

“I’ve been in my room and I am stealthy like a vampire so you didn’t know I was home. What happened?” she approaches you and sits down next to you on the floor.

“I told V I love him” you groan

With a lack of response you are prompted to focus on her only to find her looking at you with a raised brow.

“What?” you snap

“That fast huh. I thought you would hold out until he’s on the verge of ending it because your righteousness gets in the way of it”

“It was a fucking mistake” you grab one of her hands and thrust your phone into her palm.

She looks over the messages and then hands you your phone which you slide away against the floor because you can’t even look at it. “He made you a playlist and you told him you love him?” she snorts in a judgemental way.

“No one has ever made me a playlist okay!? you say defensively and shoot her a disapproving look.

“Just tell him it’s because you feel thankful or whatever emotional shit you can come up with,” she replies with a casual tone, not as freaked out as you. But then again she’s always calm about everything.

“I would but he hasn’t said anything” you point to the phone.

“Relax. The world hasn’t ended cousin”

“You’re not helping Nina!” you snap at her, unintentionally taking your frustration out on her.

Your phone buzzes and you crawl across the floor, and reach for it.

Icedtea: It’s not a problem . Anytime 💕

You immediately sit on your knees and scoot back until you’re sitting next to Nina.

“I don’t know what this means” you hold the phone out to her.

She scoffs. “I thought I wasn’t of any help,” she says bitterly.

“This isn’t the time to be vengeful, Nina” you remind her gently.

She snatches the phone so she can take a lot at it. “He sent a heart. Coming from a guy that’s as good as ‘I love you too’” she lazily holds your phone to you.

You take it from her. “So what should I say” you bite your lip.

“Just tell him you’re thankful for the playlist and move on”

“Easier said than done” you turn focus back to the device in your hand and begin furiously typing while Nina quietly slips away but you don’t have time to address that.

Bananamilk: sorry I got a little excited because no one has ever made a playlist for me before. Thank you very much V. I really appreciate it and I do feel better because of it.

Icedtea: I am glad to hear that. Happy I could be of some help.

It’s help that’s going to push you further into the rabbit hole of your feelings for him and complicate things even more. How can you like two guys without feeling like you’re not some cheater bitch? It’s not like you are in a relationship with either of them. However, feeling things for V when you’re talking to him and then feeling things when you’re with Taehyung makes you feel guilty and apologetic as fuck.

You quickly make an excuse to get out of talking to V because you can’t get your mind out of this spiral you are falling into. There is only one thing to do. So you force yourself to get up and trudge out of your room and into the land of the living.

“Hey” you address your cousin who is in the kitchen surely fixing up food.

“Yes” she quips, still sounding a little mad because she’s got that bite to her tone.

“I am sorry for how I reacted earlier. I was panicking and you were next to me and I am sorry I put it on you”

She looks over her shoulder at you. “No harm done cousin. But you look fucked”

“I suppose what I am feeling shows on my face huh”

“You don’t have to be screwed over just because you like two guys at the same time. It’s a perfectly normal thing. Eventually you will gravitate towards one more than the other. Until then just go with the flow of things and don’t over analyze shit”

You let her words sink in. They actually make sense, and this is the second time in the past few days she’s given you the right advice. “You need help?” you enter the kitchen further and stop next to her offering to help as a show of your gratitude.

“It’s just ramen” she shrugs. “You want some?” she asks as she licks the sauce off her finger.

You nod. “Thanks Nina. For everything” you rest your head on her shoulder.

“I know what will cheer you up” she says and then ushers you out of the kitchen. “Go sit down, grab a blanket put on netflix and we’ll watch the Witcher and then Man of Steel. There’s nothing a little Henry Cavill marathon can’t fix”

You do as she says and grab a blanket out of the closet and cozy up on the sofa. You turn on the TV and put on netflix, immediately searching for the Witcher. The moment Henry Cavill’s devilishly handsome face pops up on the screen you start feeling better. You put on the first episode of the Witcher, immediately transfixed Henry’s beauty. Just what was God doing when she made him? How can someone look that good?

With these thoughts swirling in your head, you immerse yourself further into the fantasy world that captures your full attention. So much so that you don’t notice Nina sitting next to you and obnoxiously chewing on the noodles.

You end up spending the rest of the day cuddled on the couch with her watching the Witcher and every Henry Cavill movie Netflix has in its catalogue. For a while you forget your troubles and just enjoy being a normal human being except you have an obsession with one Henry Cavill.

At 11 am sharp on Saturday a honk resounds through the air sending you into a state of panic.

“He’s here!” Nina yells as you stumble out of your room and run down the stairs. “Holy fuck he’s so hot” she says dreamily as she spies on him through the curtains of the window next to the front door.

“Stop ogling at him and help me find my fucking shoes” you say in a hurry as you grab your tiny bag and sling it across your body.

“They are by the door” she says without taking her eyes off Taehyung.

You put on your white shoes and dash out of the door, not even saying bye to your cousin. But you doubt she cares.

Outside Kim Taehyung is leaning against his car, the bright sun reflecting off his sun kissed skin. The sound of your shoes grating against the gravel alerts him and he looks up to greet you with a smile.

“You look good” the compliment falls smoothly through his lips and settles deep inside your heart. He pushes away from the car and holds out his arms for a hug. You cave in and wrap your arms around his much larger frame. His whole body envelops yours, a fact that leaves you feeling delighted as you bask in Kim Taehyung’s warmth. He squeezes once more before he lets go and you both pull away.

“You look good yourself” your lips split in a wide smile as you take in his form. He’s wearing a white mock neck, tucked into black jeans the rims of which are folded on top of his black doc martens. The whole look is tied in together with a blue denim jacket. The boyfriend vibes he’s serving are real and you can’t help but feel like his girlfriend, even though you’re not.

You catch yourself in time because before that train of thought can catch speed and run out of your control, you nip it. “So where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise” he opens the door for you like the gentleman he is.

“I am never getting used to this” you look at him as you pass him and sit in.

“Well get used to it because I am going to be doing this a lot” he says before he shuts the door softly and runs around quickly and straps himself into the driver’s seat.

“So you’re absolutely not going to tell me where we’re going?” you ask as he starts the ignition and begins to back out of the driveway.

“Nope” he shakes his head as he focuses on reversing, looking around in all directions.

Once you’re on the road, he reaches into the back seat and hauls up a bag which he holds out to you.

“What’s in here?” you ask, taking the white plastic bag from him.

“Snacks” he glances at you. “It’ll take us about two hours to get there. I thought you might get hungry”

“Are you taking me to some isolated place to kill me?” you tease, a grin making its way onto your face as you look at him.

He keeps his focus ahead. “Did we not determine that I am not a psycho?”

“No. You said you listen to classical music and that’s most definitely a sign you’re a serial killer” you remind him, tearing your gaze away to rummage through the bag sitting in your lap.

“You are a pepper spray carrier. I wouldn’t worry about it” he replies, a soft chuckle falling through his mouth.

“Wow you got a lot of stuff” you look through the bag.

“I got a whole row of stuff from the convenience store” he shrugs as if that is some common occurrence.

“Did you just say a whole row?” you gawk at him stupidly, blinking in disbelief.

“Yeah” he says casually. He glimpses at you for a second and chuckles at your reaction. “I didn’t know what you liked so I got whatever I could”

“How thoughtful” you comment.

“Thank you. I should have warned you that we might have to get down and dirty, where we’re going”

“Oh now you have to tell me Kim Taehyung” you turn to him.

“I can’t. It’s a surprise” he deflects.

You groan which makes him laugh silently, his shoulders shaking as teeth peeking from behind his lips. “I take it you’re not a fan of surprises?”

“No. Not at all” you shake your head. “I was wondering…” you trail off keeping your gaze affixed on his profile.

He turns to you quickly. “What were you wondering?”

“That day you were very smooth when you asked me to come with you. So, I was just wondering if this is a date”

“Do you want it to be a date?” he takes a peek at you.

“Did you intend for it to be a date?” you counter,

He huffs a soft laugh through his nose and bites his lip. “You caught me y/n”

You don’t know where this boldness is coming from. But you’re taking Nina’s advice to heart and letting things play out organically instead of trying to control them. “So then, should I assume you like me?”

He’s silent as he chews on his lower lip like he really has to think about it. Usually it's an automatic response but the fact that he’s taking time makes you think there is something there, just under the surface that’s bothering him. The longer he takes the worse the anxiety gets “Yes” the word leaves a whisper through his mouth. “I like you”

You’re silent. He’s silent. You can feel the weight, weighing heavy on your shoulders.

“Since I have made the admission. I have to ask” he pauses. “Should I take it you like me too since you decided to come with me?”

He’s smooth. He’s very good at using words.

You like him. But it’s hard to give a quick response because you also like V. So admitting your attraction to Taehyung seems like you’re playing V even though it’s not your intention.

“Yeah” you reply quietly remembering that Nina told you not to ‘overanalyze shit”

Taehyung steals a glance at your face, then his eyes travel to your hand that’s resting on your lap. He reaches over and extends his hand and quietly laces his fingers into yours. You succumb to his touch and curl your fingers over the back of his hand, a gesture that makes him look at you with a knowing smile-- one that speaks volumes about his feelings for you. You look from your now less lonely hand to him and a small smile curves on your lips

For the rest of the ride neither of you say a word, and sit quietly hand in hand basking in this newfound feeling.

“Y/n”

You feel a shake

“Y/n”

Someone is definitely saying your name. But who?

“Y/n” comes the voice again and you jolt awake

“What?” you say slightly panicked as you look to your left, to find Taehyung. Oh right. You’re going somewhere with him.

“We’re here” he says.

You blink away the sleep that weighs heavy in your eyes. “Where is here?”

“ My grandparents strawberry farm in Sonoma”

And then sleep vanishes. “What!?” you are wide awake as soon you comprehend his words and unconsciously squeeze his hand.

He chuckles. “I love it when you get all surprised. It’s all very adorable” he says fondly, eyes sparkling, and smile teetering at the edge of his lips. “It’s also adorable that you fell asleep holding onto my hand”

You look down and find your hand still locked securely into his.

“As much as I love holding your hand, it feels kind of numb” he comments, looking at you with pursed lips.

It takes a second for you to understand what he means as you blink rapidly. Clearly your brain is still a little foggy from the nap. “Oh shit. Yeah. Sorry” you pull your fingers out from his, and he uses his now free hand to unbuckle his seat belt

“Wait” he says and steps out of the car. He comes to your side and opens the door for you and holds out his hand. He really did mean it when he said you should get used to it. A cool draft of air hits you as soon as the door opens and you welcome the relief because your body feels hot all over.

“Why didn't you tell me you’re bringing me here?” you ask as you place your hand in his and with a gentle pull he manages to help you. He closes the door but keeps a hold on your hand, sliding his palm in yours.

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise” you walk hand in hand.

“True. But your grandparents farm? Isn’t it a little weird? I mean I am not even your girlfriend which is who you usually bring to places like this”

“As far as they know, you are. ” he shrugs.

“I am?

“Yes you are. I told them you are . You are my girlfriend as far as anyone in this little town is concerned ” he squeezes your hand and swings your interlocked hands.

“Wow. I just got demoted from wife to girlfriend. Are you cheating on me Kim Taehyung?” you laugh lightly, but it falters when you realize you shouldn’t use the word ‘cheating’ so lightly given your predicament between Taehyung and V.

He however doesn’t respond in the same way. If anything the smile and liveliness of his face morphs into a solemn expression as his lips pull into a straight line. He lowers his head, blinking profusely. He looks slightly uncomfortable, a vacant look appearing in his eyes and his hold on your hand slackens which makes your heart sink. He doesn’t let go but clearly something has changed.

“Are you alright?” you question

A look of realization crosses his face and the distant look in his eyes disappears replaced by the usual amount of warmth you are used to. “Yeah” he squeezes your hand. “Just thinking about something. Sorry”

“It’s okay” you reassure him.

You let a few seconds of silence pass before you speak. “So what exactly are we doing here?”

“Picking strawberries” he smiles from ear to ear clearly excited at the prospect of getting to eat strawberries to his heart's content. “I promised I would get you to love strawberries and here we are”

“You have a very weird obsession with this particular fruit”

“Hey don’t judge” he pouts. “Girlfriend’s aren’t supposed to be judgemental”

“But” you pause. “I am not really your girlfriend”

“Today you are” he grins and motions to your hands which are still held together.

It turns out Taehyung was right when he said you would have to get down and dirty. There’s soil marks over your white shoes, and you have been kneeling down trying to pick out as many strawberries as possible because Taehyung decided that an impromptu competition would be a good way to keep things interesting. His grandparents being the sweet people they are let you two be and left to work on ploughing the fields somewhere else.

You don't know how you got roped into it but you know that you could never say no to Taehyung. If he told you to jump from a building asking you to trust him, you would do so. If he asked you the one thing you absolutely hated: get on an airplane and fly to an unknown destination you wouldn’t even hesitate for a second. You have known him for only a week but you’ve learned enough to be able to put your faith in him. But it feels like you’ve known him forever too. Like you know him from somewhere else but you just can’t remember.

Too distracted by your thoughts you don’t notice Taehyung taking strawberries out of your basket. It’s only after he’s taken out a handful that you realize it. “Hey! That’s cheating” you have to yell because he’s already on the run. “Kim Taehyung you are dead” you chase after him in the fields which is definitely not a good idea for several reasons. One, the sun is high up in the sky and getting in your eyes so you can’t see clearly where you are going. Second, you’re getting dirt all over your shoes and the hems of your jeans which are the best pair you own. Third Taehyung is taller than you and hence his strides are longer so you’ll never be able to catch him. Fourth, not having any food in you is the worst time to run so you start feeling a little dizzy.

You stop to take a breather and Taehyung, noticing a stoppage in your shouts, turns around to find you bent over. He runs to you quickly.

“Are you okay?” he sets down the basket of strawberries and strokes your back.

“Yeah. I just need food” you pant heavily and straighten up.

“Food you say” Taehyung raises his eyebrows suggestively. “I have just the perfect thing”

“You are the worst fake boyfriend ever” you gripe as you walk hand in hand with him to the convenience store which happens to be four blocks away. On an empty stomach and running on nothing but fumes four blocks easily seems like forty.

“You feel that way now. But just you wait. I’ll make you something so amazing you’ll kiss me for it” he says confidently.

“Kiss you? Aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves” you quip, trying to slow down the pace of where he’s headed. If this were a normal situation you wouldn’t worry. But you have to think about V too. Yes you want things to happen organically but at the same time you need to uphold yourself to your personal standards for morality. And it won’t be right to kiss Taehyung when you feel something for someone else out there too.

“You’re right” he shakes his head. “Correction. I’ll make you something so amazing you will love me for it”��

“Don’t get all cocky Kim” you reply with a grin.

The convenience store comes into site and you both speed up as you practically run towards it. You enter the small store and to your right standing behind a cash register is an older man writing something in a notebook.

Taehyung greets the man. “Hello Mr. Jung”

He looks up and a look of recognition crosses his face “Oh Taehyung! It’s nice to see you after so long”

“It’s very nice to see you too” Taehyung smiles at the older man.

Mr. Jung looks at you and offers a polite nod, and you reply with a small ‘hello’.

“Sorry Mr. Jung. I forgot. This is my girlfriend y/n” Taehyung looks at Mr. Jung, a proud smile resting on his lips.

The way he says ’girlfriend’ makes you want to rip your insides out and stop feeling because it’s too overwhelming. Despite your admittance that you like each other, it’s not like you’ve decided to do anything about it. So technically he’s not your boyfriend and you aren’t his girlfriend and you have to keep reminding yourself that this all for show.

“Hello y/n. Pleasure to meet you” Mr. Jung says.

“Nice to meet you too Mr. Jung” you respond

“Hey if he bothers you, you come to me. I will set him straight” Mr. Jung laughs.

“He bothers me a lot” you complain, pouting.

“Hey!” Taehyung’s jaw drops in disbelief. “You’re not supposed to tattle on me”

“You better treat her nice, boy” Mr Jung says in a stern but playful tone.

“Of course I will! She deserves to be treated like a queen even though she rats me out” this time Taehyung’s lips jut out in a pout. “That reminds me. I am looking for bread and that special sweet cream Mrs. Jung makes”

“Ah!” Mr Jung’s expression changes to that of realization as soon as Taehyung mentions sweet cream. “The bread should in the last aisle and the sweet cream should be in the refrigerator at the back”

“Thanks Mr. Jung” Taehyung says and walks towards the aisle where he grabs a loaf of bread and tucks it under his arm because he’s still holding your hand and only has his other hand free.

“Do you maybe want to let go so that we can comfortably shop?” you suggest noticing him having a hard time holding the bread without squashing it to a mush.

He shakes his head. “No thank you. I like holding your hand” he says firmly.

You give up quickly, realizing that he won't let go. So you shop around like that-- hand in hand, and a loaf of bread tucked under Taehyung’s arm. From far away you would look like a couple, an awareness which makes your face overcome with a slight crimson flush.

“Hey do you mind grabbing the sweet cream” Taehyung points to the stacked white, unlabeled containers in the fridge.

You manage to open the door, but have to hold it open with your foot because your other hand is occupied by Taehyungs. It’s a minor inconvenience which you don't mind. You grab the container and lift your foot against the door and it shuts. “Why are we buying bread and cream?”

“It’s a secret” he winks

“You and your surprises” you shake your head at him.

“I promise you, you will love it” he leads out of the back and to the front where Mr. Jung is.

Taehyung places the bread and you put the sweet cream on the counter. For the first time he let’s go of your hand to take out his wallet from his back pocket.

“Don’t worry about Taehyung. This one is on me” Mr Jung smiles at both of you when he sees Taehyung’s wallet.

“Are you sure?” you quip

“Yeah Yeah” he waves your concern off. “I have known the Kim’s for the better part of forty years. We’re like a family” he takes out a brown paper bag and places both the bread and sweet cream in there and hands you the bag.

“Thank you Mr. Jung” Taehyung grins up at the older man and nods as both of you leave. Once you are out of the store, Taehyung takes the bag from you and reaches down to grab your hand in his, interlinking your fingers once again.

Taehyung’s grandparents' farmhouse is ginormous. When you arrived he took you straight to the fields so you didn’t have time to come to the house. The moment it comes in sight you are awestruck at the grandiosity of it and you can’t close your mouth. You hear Taehyung chuckle beside you, no doubt at your reaction but you don’t acknowledge him because you just can't seem to tear your gaze away.

“This was built in the early 1900’s. Been in the family for a few generations now” Taehyung comments.

“Wow” you blink rapidly, trying to process the beauty of the house in front of you.

“We had to renovate it a few years ago because there were alot of structural issues and mold and whatnot. So it looks slightly different from the outside. But the inside is pretty much the same”

“You must have spent a lot of time here when you were younger” you finally manage to look away, having had your fill of beauty.

He nods. “I did. I came here every summer instead of staying in LA. I would spend all my time in the farms with my grandfather, helping him pick strawberries, planting new bushes after the harvest was done, cleaning up around the house and greasing the equipment.”

“Who knew you made an excellent farm boy” you grin at him teasingly, just imagining a kiddie version of the man next to you with his grubby hands helping his grandpa.

“I am also an excellent chef, thank you very much”

“We’ll see Mr. Kim” you allude back to your first day with him when you were mistaken for husband and wife.

“You will Mrs. Kim” he jokes and both of you end up laughing.

Taehyung guides you inside the house holding you hand, through one hallway and then another and he turns again. You forget the way you came in because it’s so big inside. You don’t even have the time to appreciate the architecture (which is very reminiscent of the early 1900’s with crafty woodwork) because Taehyung is beelining straight to the kitchen.

He sets the paper bag down on the counter.

“This kitchen is the size of a small condo” you comment, doing a full 360 as you take in everything around you. . The cupboards are all shiny dark oakwood, and the counters are pure white marble. You run a finger on them and it’s the softest marble you have ever touched. His family is definitely loaded. Rich doesn’t even begin to define it.

“My grandma always wanted a huge kitchen. So during the renovations they ended up extending the kitchen and they added the huge cutting board on the countertop because my grandma hates having to wash and clean cutting boards” Taehyung says as he’s looking through the twenty different cupboards for something.

“What are you going to make?” you ask entering further.

“It’s something my grandpa used to make when I was younger. I haven’t had it in a very long time. I wanted to share it with you” Taehyung finds plates in one of the cabinets and brings them over to the counter, and sets them aside.

“That’s sweet of you Taehyung” you reply as you lean your back against the counter.

“It’s only because I like you” he chuckles. Before you can respond, he’s already on another subject. He makes it seem like such a casual thing. But then again he’s always been up front with you. “Y/n can you bring those strawberries over please?” he points to a huge mound of strawberries piled into a strainer next to the sink.

You grab it and bring it over to him. You stop next to him and steal a strawberry for yourself. “Wow these are good” your muffled voice comes out as you savour the sweet flavour.

“These are the best strawberries you will ever have” Taehyung comments turning to you. He reaches up with his hand and wipes away the juice from the corner of your mouth.

“Thanks” you mutter. Heat rises in your cheeks once more, and your hands begin to sweat a little from nervousness.

Taehyung takes out the bread and places the loaf on the large built-in cutting board on top of the kitchen counter. “With crust or without crust” he asks.

“Without please” you say

“I would have been horrified had you said you want the crust”

“No one likes the crust. It’s an atrocity”

“Exactly” Taehyung stacks bread pieces together and in one swoop motion cuts the crusts on one side and the rotates to cut the other side. Once all the disgusting brown stuff is off from the good white stuff, he slides the colander filled with strawberries over to himself. He starts drying them with a cloth and placing them on the cutting board.

“Where are your grandparents?” you ask suddenly realizing that it's only you two and no one else is around.

He continues to dry the strawberries as he speaks. “It’s Saturday so they’re probably gone to Mr. Lee’s house at this time. He’s my grandpa’s friend and their farmhouse is just a few blocks down. Everyone in this neighbourhood gathers together and meets at Mr. Lee’s house on the weekends and they play cards and things like that. It’s been like that since I was thirteen” a fond smile appears on his lips as he reminisces about the past.

“That’s sweet.”

“All the people in this neighbourhood are my grandparents' age so they all have similar interests” he explains as he places the dried strawberries on the cutting board.

“Makes sense” you nod. “Do you want some help?” you ask because you feel bad.

Taehyung looks up at you “Are you good at cutting strawberries?” he asks

“I can do a good enough job” you reply with a shrug.

“Grab a knife assistant” he grins and then shifts his focus to cutting the strawberries he had dried.

You pull a knife out the knife stand next to you and stand quietly next to Taehyung cutting his precious strawberries. It’s silent, save for the sounds of the knives hitting the cutting board. Once he thinks you have enough slices he starts assembling his secret dish.

He splits the slices of bread in half and places some in front of you.

“All we’re going to do is spread the cream and place the strawberries and make a sandwich”

“A strawberries and cream sandwich?” you question

“Not just your usual strawberries and cream sandwich. I’m gonna shallow fry it” he wags his brows, feeling proud of himself.

“Can't say I’ve ever had that”

“Get ready for the best-est sandwich ever. It tastes heavenly” he steps behind you and reaches over to place a pan on the stove. The close proximity makes your heart skip a beat.

You both begin assembling your sandwiches working in silence. The domestic vibes really give you a hard time with concentration because all you can think about is how homely this feels.

“This reminds me of my grandma and grandpa cooking together when I was younger” he takes the words right out of your mouth because this reminds you of your parents when you were younger.

“Oh the domesticity of it all” you laugh.

“I like it” Taehyung says fondly, looking at you.

You feel his eyes on you and look up at him with a grin. “It’s growing on me too”

Taehyung wasn’t lying when he said it tastes heavenly because it does. Shallow frying the bread just makes it taste a hundred times better than it would have. After you finish devouring the sandwiches Taehyung realizes how late it is and decides that he should get you home.

“It’s already 8 pm. I didn’t even realize we’d been here that long”

“Me neither” you reply, finally realizing how much fun you were having with him.

“Let me just check how long it would take to drive back because we have to take a different highway to get out of Sonoma” he pulls out his phone. You’re silent while he checks how to get home and you decide to look around your surroundings. The huge garden in the back of the property is something you were anticipating, but you just didn’t realize how big it would be.

Sitting under the fairy lights on the porch definitely does something to make the ambiance feel slightly romantic.

“Shit. There’s been a major accident on the highway out of the county” he looks at you.

“So what do we do now?” you question, feeling slightly panicked because you don’t feel comfortable leaving Nina alone in the house for the night.

He shrugs. “I am not sure how long it will take them to clear it up”

“Damn. It’s already eight and even if it’s done in the next hour or so it’ll be too late to drive out”

“Right. But it seems like it’s going to take way longer than that because it’s two trailers and a few cars that crashed into each other” he holds his phone out to you.

Going by the picture posted in the tabloid it does seem like it’s a very major accident. You silently hope everyone involved is okay. You hand him his phone back.

“I guess we have to stay over for the night. Is that okay with you?” he questions, a concerned frown plastered on his forehead.

“It should be okay. I just have to call my cousin and make sure she will be alright for the night”

“Sure” he replies and busies himself in looking around while you dial Nina

It rings and rings and rings and just when you’re about to hang up her voice comes through. “Yes asshole. How can I be of service to you”

“Hello spawn of the Devil” you say into the phone, forgetting that Taehyung is sitting only 1 meter away. He stops looking around as he catches your words, shooting you a confused look. You respond with an apologetic smile.

“I thought you were with your boyfriend” Nina says in her usual teasing tone.

It gets to you. “He’s not my boyf--” you say a little too loudly and glance at Taehyung to find him looking at you with raised eyebrows. You mouth a quick ‘sorry’ to him. “Anyway. I wanted to tell you that I won’t be home tonight and--”

“Yes girl get it!” she yells so loud you’re sure that against the silence of the night Taehyung heard that. You wince when you notice he’s stifling his laughter. He heard it for sure.

Idiot Nina.

“We can’t leave because there’s been an accident on the highway out of the county and that’s why I have to stay the night. Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah of course! Don’t worry about me. Just take this opportunity alright? Don’t let it go to waste. Who knows when you’ll get it. Make sweet sweet love to him” her voice is so loud you want to throw your phone away and jump into that pool nearby and drown in it. An aching burn alights your cheeks on fire.

Taehyung chuckles, clearly having heard Nina.

“Shut up, idiot. Call me if anything happens. Not that anyone would try anything with you” you say into the phone, your objective of making sure she’ll be okay completed. You hang up not giving her a chance to speak and pass an apologetic look to Taehyung. “I am sorry if you heard all that”

“I did” he nods, trying to stifle his laughter once more. “Your cousin sure is a character” he comments.

“You’re not the first person to say that. She’s the child of the Devil” you shake your head.

“So she’ll be okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. If anything our neighbours should be scared I am not there to keep her in check”

He laughs. “Why do you call her the spawn of the devil? Just out of curiosity”

You sigh. “You’ve already heard a snippet of the kinds of things that come out of her mouth. But she’s totally boy crazy and she always says the wrong things at the wrong time like she just did a few minutes ago. She always puts me in awkward situations like right now which is why I am sure she was born to make my life hell. Hence she is the spawn of the devil”

“You’re cute y/n” Taehyung chuckles with a shake of his head

“Thank you I guess” you take the compliment. “So what should we do now?” you quickly change the subject, not wanting to further dwell on Nina because if you do you’ll just keep thinking about what she said.

“Fancy a swim?” he asks, turning to look at the mirage of blue into the distance.

“Uhhh I can’t swim” you admit sheepishly, looking away.

Taehyung’s mouth drops open. “What?”

“Not everyone can swim okay?” you look at him and say defensively

He stands up and holds his hand out for you. You look at him and then his hand and shake your head.

“Come on y/n. Be brave”

“I am a coward. Just let me be a coward please” you look at him pleadingly.

“I’ll go with you. I won’t let anything happen to you. Trust me”

You gulp hard and with a deep sigh place your hand in his as he leads you out to the pool. You stand at the edge while Taehyung without a warning jumps in, splashing you with water too. “You’re wet already now. Come on!” he says emerging from the water and smoothing his hair back, droplets dripping down his face and onto his chest. His shirt clings to his chest and arms, showing every contour of his body perfectly.

“I am not even wearing proper swimming clothes” you try the excuse hoping it’ll get you off the hook.

“I just jumped in wearing these jeans and my precious mock neck shirt. Be spontaneous y/n” he says, splashing water on you.

Your hands come up to protect your face from the attack. “I am sort of scared” you mumble, slightly embarrassed at the admittance.

“Do you trust me?” Taehyung asks as he takes a few steps forward until the water level lowers to his waist. He holds out his arms in the air as if to catch you.

“I do” you mumble and step close to the edge of the pool while Taehyung moves forward and reaches for your hands. You place your hands in his and crouch down to the floor with his help and set one foot over the edge into the water and then the other.

“Place your hands on my shoulder and jump in. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you” his voice is soft and tender, which helps calm you down slightly.

You place your hands on his shoulder and he wraps his arms around your waist as you slide off the edge and into the water. A squeal passes your lips. With eyes shut tight, and nails digging into his shoulders you cling onto him for dear life.

“I got you” his warm voice comes out in reassurance.He holds you close to him, not leaving a single inch of space between your bodies.

You open your eyes and find yourself practically glued against him. His face is so close to yours, you can still smell the sweet strawberries on his breath. “I am scared” you whisper.

“Just keep your eyes on me” he comments as he begins to set you lower in the water. You wrap your arms around his shoulders as you feel your feet almost touching the floor of the pool. You’re hanging onto him like a koala bear and he doesn’t seem to mind it.

You make the mistake of looking down once and immediately hide your face in his chest.

His arm tightens around you in a comforting way. “It’s alright. I am here” he mumbles as he places a soft kiss on the top of your head. “ Just hold onto me okay?”

He starts walking backwards as you hold onto him and slowly but surely the water level rises along with panic. He stops smack dab in the middle of the pool.

“Y/n look at me” he says softly, and you find the courage deep down to stare into those heartbreakingly beautiful brown eyes of his. “You’re fine. You can touch the floor of the pool” he unwraps your arms from his shoulders and steps back, but he still holds onto you.

“Taehyung” you say warningly.

“I am holding on. See” he looks down and you follow his gaze to find his hands wrapped securely around your forearms.

“You promise you won’t let go?” your voice trembles.

“I promise” he looks straight in your eyes.

So you trust him and set your feet down completely this time even though the water almost swallows you.

“See? You’re fine” he encourages you. “I am gonna swim back now”

“Taehyung no!”

He chuckles. “Relax y/n. I am still going to hold onto you. I am not going to let go of you. I swear”

His words, the sincerity in them manages to put you at ease for the moment. He holds onto you and starts doing a backstroke dragging you along with him in the water. At first you’re terrified as your feet are lifted off the ground and the water weighs heavy on your body. But then after a while you become used to the weightlessness. Taehyung keeps his promise and holds onto your arm as you both swim around.

“It’s fun right?” he looks at you with a smile and you chuckle nervously unable to form words because they are stuck to the back of your throat due to fear.

So you circle around the pool holding onto him once you get comfortable. You manage to swim towards the shallow end of the pool where the water sits comfortably below your waist, providing you with a sense of security. Taehyung meanwhile stays in the deep end, eyes glued to you.

“Scaredy cat” he teases with a grin as water runs down his face. His clothes are completely soaked.

“You’ll get sick like that” you shout across the pool which makes him chuckle.

He shakes his head and swims towards you, head appearing and disappearing and then he emerges out of the water right in front of you. He runs a hand across his face to wipe away the water. A lock of his hair falls onto his forehead and absentmindedly you smooth it back.

He grins at the gesture and sniffles.“Do you wanna sit up?” he asks, noticing how you’re shivering.

“Yeah” you mumble and he easily picks you up by the waist and sets you down on the edge of the pool while your feet dangle in the water.

He places his palms on the edge of the pool and hauls himself up, spinning midway to sit back down next to you. His arm touches yours, sending shivers through your whole body and you shudder.

Taehyung wraps his arm around you and pulls you into himself as your head hits his shoulder “I saw it on Discovery. Body heat is the best way to warm yourself up” he offers an explanation, but you don’t need it because you don’t mind being this close to him at all.

He gently strokes your arm, trying to warm you up and you snuggle closer to him and wrap your arm around his torso.

“I don’t have a change of clothes” you mention pensively.

“I have some clothes here just in case. You can wear those” he offers kindly.

You nod against his shoulder, too scared to speak for the fear of your teeth chattering as a cold draft blows towards you. Once the onset of shivers subsides you speak. “Thank you”

He continues to rub your arm, and you feel the goosebumps abating. “You’re welcome”

With his comment silence falls as both of you stare at the blue water in front of you too lost in your thoughts to think of anything else. With other people silence seems to pose a problem, but with him it's comfortable-- a sign that you feel at ease with him.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks quietly

“Nothing in particular. What are you thinking about?” you ask in return and feel him resting his cheek on top of your head.

“About how this feels right. You and I, just sitting like this”

“It does, doesn’t it?” you say, feeling a pang of guilt rise out of your stomach because you feel like you’re deceiving him. Being with him and not speaking with V for so long, doesn’t do anything to lessen your feelings for V. You thought if you spent time with him, it would provide you with some clarity about who you like more. You had hoped it would help you in some way to decide who you lean towards but the thing is you’re back to square one. You definitely feel closer to Taehyung now than you did the first day you met him, but feeling closer to Taehyung doesn’t make you feel distant from V.

He doesn’t respond to your comment which you don’t mind because sometimes silence speaks louder than words and right now you don’t need any words to understand what’s going on.

“Do you want to go inside? I don’t want you getting sick” he asks, lifting his head from yours and looking down at you.

You unwrap your arm from his abdomen and pull your head away from his shoulder. “Yeah let’s go” you reply and he quickly gets up, holding out both his hands for you to take. You’ve become so used to his caring and gentle ways that when you slide your hands in his, it feels exactly right. He helps you up and wraps one of his hands in yours.

He takes you to the drying area, which is basically just a room filled with towels and bathrobes, and swimsuits and swimming trunks. You both step inside, a shiver passing through you as the warm air makes contact with your cold skin. He grabs a towel from one of the open shelves and hands it to you. You run it through your hair while Taehyung grabs one for himself and runs it through his locks.

You tap the towel over your clothes to absorb the excess water, especially your jeans, which are completely soaked.

“You good?” Taehyung asks and you nod. “I’ll get you a pair of my clothes and you can change into them”

“Thanks Taehyung” you smile at him.

Once you’re dried and not dripping water everywhere Taehyung takes you back inside the house, still no sign of his grandparents. He shows you where the rooms are and settles you into the room right next to his. You counted at least six rooms when he was giving you the tour of the floor.

“If you need anything I am just next door” he smiles after handing you his clothes. It’s a white shirt and black sweats.

“Thank you for everything Taehyung” you return the smile.

“Good night y/n”

“Good night Taehyung”

His gaze lingers on you as a few beats of silence pass. His brown eyes sparkle underneath light that is hanging overhead on the ceiling of the landing. He keeps his eyes affixed on you and you enrapt by him find it hard to look away too.

He blinks first, breaking that small moment of tension. “I’ll-- I’ll see you tomorrow”

“See you tomorrow”

He pivots on his heels and disappears and you peek your head out to watch him vanish behind the door of his room. You shut the door and hobble back to the bed, falling face first on it. You feel tired but not tired enough to sleep. There isn’t a sliver of intention to sleep, and all the intention to stay awake. It’s especially worse because you’re separated by nothing but a paper thin wall between you and Taehyung.

Knowing that he’s in the next room has your curiosity piqued. You want to know what he’s doing. You can’t help but think about the one time he grew solemn during the day when you joked if he’s cheating on you. There was something about the way he grew quiet that irked you. Something about the way his fingers loosened their grip on your hand almost as if he wanted to let go.

You sigh and stand up, trudging to the bathroom connected to your room to take a hot shower. Maybe it will help you clear your head.

You stare blankly at the grey ceiling of the room, your phone right next to you and your fingers slowly but surely reaching for it.

You bring it in front of your face and open the app to text V. It feels like forever since you have talked to him. It’s in moments like this when everything around you is quiet, and your thoughts run rampant completely out of your control when you crave talking to him. Maybe it’s selfish of you but he comforts you. You remember the playlist he sent you and put the music on at a low volume so as not to disturb Taehyung in the next room.

The silence is chased away by the sounds of quiet, soothing music.

Bananamilk: Hi V. How are you?

You wait for a reply but don’t have to wait for long because almost instantaneously a reply comes.

Icedtea: I am so sorry I never messaged you all day long. Got busy

Bananamilk: I was pretty busy too so it’s okay. What did you do?

Icedtea: I hung out with a friend

Bananamilk: would this be the same friend you were telling me about earlier?

Icedtea: It’s weird that you’re so obsessed with her 😂 but yes.

Bananamilk: I am not obsessed with her 😐 Anyway, what did you guys do?

Icedtea: hung out. Talked. Ate. Tried swimming but she’s afraid of water

Bananamilk: Wow that’s strange. I am scared of water too and my friend tried to get me to swim today too. Didn’t work out too well though

Icedtea: Strange coincidence. Yeah. She swam for a bit with my help. But then I guess there is only so much you can do when someone is afraid of water. Can’t force it.

Bananamilk: Yeah. Take it from me. You can’t.

Icedtea: I kinda missed talking to you even though I was busy

Bananamilk: Yeah me too.

Icedtea: Aren’t you sleepy?

Bananamilk: Nah. Too much on my mind. By the way I am listening to the playlist you made for me. Dare I say you’re a musical genius

Icedtea: Gee thanks. I’ll make you another one so you can sleep.

Bananamilk: Why are you so sweet V?

Icedtea: I am not like this with everyone. You bring out this side of me you know?

Your heart lurches in your throat and your hands immediately start sweating which loosens your grip on the phone.

Bananamilk: You’re good with words

Icedtea: It’s one of my many talents. Thank you. But on a serious note are you finding the playlist helpful at all?

Bananamilk: You have no idea how calm I feel right now while listening to it and talking to you.

Icedtea: I always find music relaxes me. So I thought it might help you too.

Bananamilk: Whoever ends up with you will be one lucky gal

Icedtea: What if it ends up being you?

You drop your phone on your face out of shock. It hits your nose and you wince in pain. “Shit” you massage it. Normally you would freak out and lose your mind over how to respond. But right now you feel too calm to let panic take over. Nina’s words ring in your ears and you remember to let things happen. Following that line you say the first thing that comes to your head.

Bananamilk: You deserve better than me

And he does because you feel like an absolutely shitty person for having these feelings for him but also for feeling attracted to Taehyung. V deserves someone who can love him wholeheartedly and that’s not you because your loyalties are divided.

Icedtea: I don’t think I can do any better than you

Bananamilk: You barely know me, V.

Icedtea: I know enough to say that I can’t do better than you because you’re exactly the kind of person I envision myself with. It’s so easy with you.

Bananamilk: I feel the same way, but trust me. One day you’ll realize you can get someone better. Maybe that friend of yours.

Icedtea: Yeah. Maybe that friend of mine… or maybe you. Anyway, I gotta go but I will catch up with you later?

Bananamilk: Alright. Take care

Icedtea: You too.

With a sigh you hide yourself under the blankets.

It’s 1 am and you’re wide awake. For the past thirty minutes you have been mindlessly scrolling through your conversation with V while simultaneously thinking about Taehyung, who is in the room right next to yours. You toss and turn in your bed, desperately waiting for your brain to get tired enough to want to sleep. But it doesn’t come. You sit up in the bed holding your head in your hands ready to rip out your hair when soft sounds of music drift into your room from the paper thin wall between your and Taehyung’s room.

Is he not sleeping?

Somehow hit with the disease of stupidity, you shuffle out the bed and carefully tiptoe across your room. You open the door and peek your head out towards Taehyung’s room. The door is slightly ajar, and there is a ray of light casting shadows on the wall opposite you.

Keeping in with being as quiet as possible, you continue to tiptoe as you cross the threshold of your room and enter the landing. You stand outside Taehyung’s room and knock once.

“I am awake” comes his voice, and you peek your head inside.

“I thought you were asleep” you whisper shout because you don’t want to wake his grandparents up. He’s sitting up in the bed clad in PJ’s that seem to fit him looser than his usual clothes.

“I couldn’t fall asleep” he waves you inside as he whisper shouts too.

You step in and close the door to the room as a courtesy for his grandparents. It is weird being in an enclosed space with him but you don’t have much of a choice.

“Are you listening to Tchaikovsky?” you say in your normal voice.

“Yeah” he nods and pats the empty spot next to him on his bed.

“Are you sure?” you question stopping at the edge of his bed.

He regards you in silence and as if something breaks inside him he nods. “My clothes look good on you by the way” he says taking in how his black shirt and grey sweats swallow your frame. You sit beside him under the covers, a respectable distance apart.

“Stop” you mumble feeling the heat rising to your cheeks.

“You’re red again” he muses from beside you as a soft grin appears on his lips.

“Will you stop it?” you slap him gently across the shoulder.

“Fine” he chuckles. “What’s keeping you up at night?” he looks at you with those doe eyes of his.

You and V

If only you could tell him he’s part of the reason why you’re up at night. If you had the guarantee that telling him about V would not change a thing about your relationship with him, you would. But you have no such guarantee and you don’t want to lose whatever bond you have built with him. It’s idealistic thinking at best, but for now all you want to do is cuddle him and let that take away all your worries for the night.

As if he can read your mind, he’s pulling you into himself and placing your head on his chest. He traces circles on your shoulder and hums slightly to the music that plays softly in the background.

“Let me guess. You saw on discovery channel that cuddling helps people sleep” your laughter mixes in with the sounds of his humming and Tachaikovsky’s classics.

He snorts. “It does. Discovery channel never lies” he offers in his defense.

“Hmm” you say wrapping your arm around his torso and snuggling in closer. “I think I could fall asleep like this”

There is a moment of silence.

“You do know that if something is troubling you, you can share it with me right?” his grip around your shoulder tightens as he gives a short reassuring squeeze.

“I know” you mumble. “But you don’t have to be burdened by my problems”

“It’s what friends are for isn’t it? Sharing your burdens?”

“So we’re friends?” you question, absentmindedly playing with the fingers of his free hand and lets you.

“I think we’re a little bit more than friends don’t you think?”

“Hmm” you nod. “You don’t mind this?”

“Not one bit. But the offer stands. I am always going to be there to listen to you even if I can’t help you”

“Thank you” you say quietly, basking in the warmth of Kim Taehyung. “I’ll tell you because one day I’ll have to. But just give me time” you realize that this is all the moments you might have with him. He might never want to see you again after you tell him about V. He might feel like you betrayed him. Like you played him.

“Take all the time you want y/n. Something has been eating away at me for days too and I am losing my mind over it. I feel like a horrible person because I don’t know what I am supposed to do. I am forced to pick between two people I adore and I just can't lose either of them...” he trails off.

“Oh Tae” you sigh as you hug him tighter because you understand. “You know at the end of it all, you will be exactly where you should be and whoever you are supposed to be with. I don’t know if that helps you but if I was in your situation” you pause as your mind fills in the blank -- which i am-- “that’s how I would want to look at it”

“Thanks y/n” he mumbles as he places his head on top of yours. “I guess all this talk is probably not helping you feel sleepy eh?”

“Actually you’re too warm and it is making me sleepy”

You hear the reverberations of his laugh against your ear. “Good night Mrs. Kim” you can imagine the infectious grin on his face as he says it.

You laugh in response too. It’s become somewhat of a joke between you guys. “Good night Mr. Kim”

For some reason since all the V and Taehyung drama, Nina has become your voice of reason. When a bout of stupidity hits you she’s there to set you straight and you’re grateful for it because you can’t really see the appeal of objectivity in the situation.

“Text V and ask him to meet up” Nina urges you, giving you the stern look just when you’re about to open your mouth in protest and whine.

“I don’t even know if he actually lives in New York. Or if he’s on the other side of the world” you reply with resentment towards her suggestion.

“You didn’t ask?” she looks at you in disbelief.

“Why would I? It’s not like I was expecting this to get anywhere” you lament.

“Well then you better talk to Taehyung about it. It’s been a week since you went to the farmhouse. You asked for time and you got it. So tell him about V”

“I’m scared Nina” your lips just out in a pout and a frown appears on your forehead.

“That’s normal, cousin. But you know you have to tell him. You can’t just lead him on. Just talk to one of them. But before that do you even know who you like more? Because you can’t like both of them equally and choose one of them because you have to. This isn’t a game and they aren’t toys. It wont be fair for anyone”

“I know. I realize that. I like V. I like Taehyung. That’s a fact we have established. But I do like one of them more than the other, something I realized last week”

“How did you come to that realization?” she questions, tone full of curiosity.

“It just hit me...out of nowhere. I almost felt the wind get knocked out of me. But now I know” you trail, the words slipping back from your tongue and collecting back in your mind again.

“Who is it?” she asks

“I’ll tell you after I tell him”

“There are two ‘him’s’ in this situation” she sighs.

“Exactly” you purse your lips.

“Fine. Then all you need to do is talk to both of them”

“You say that like I am going to talk to them about cake or something” you shake your head.

“In the grand scheme of things, it's like talking about cake” she winks at you in that casual way.

“Sure. Whatever you say” your reply.

“Make sure you do communicate with them otherwise I am gonna haul your sorry ass and make you do it. I did it once already when I signed you up. Just know I won't hesitate to act on your behalf again” she says warningly before she’s striding off without giving you the chance of scolding her.

As your luck would have it, V is actually in San Francisco visiting his family. You don’t know why you allowed yourself to not ask him where he was going because if you had all this could have been avoided. But alas, you did ask him because he’s the first person you need to talk to. After you deal with him you’ll tell Taehyung the truth and you are prepared to face the consequences of your actions.

You decided to meet with V at 10 am in the coffee shop near Misim because Taehyung is at Misim visiting his mother too.

It’s 9:45 am and your heart hasn’t stopped its painful relentless beating since well last night when you texted V and asked him to meet up. Neither did you sleep and that was obvious though wasn’t it? So at 10 am on Sunday, you’re completely tired, your body begging for sleep but somehow your brain refuses to comply as it keeps you hyper alert, hyperactive, and fidgety. To make matters worse in the last 30 minutes you have already had two coffee’s.

The door chimes and you turn around to find Kim Taehyung walking inside, clad in a suit. His hair is parted a little bit to the left of his forehead. He’s busy typing furiously on his phone and doesn’t notice the man walking towards him on a collision course.

“Taehyung!” you yell his name to prevent them both from crashing into each other and possibly getting hurt.

Just as he’s about to bump into the man he looks up at you and then at the man walking towards him and side steps him.

A frown graces his face as he approaches your table. “What are you doing here?” he stops next to you

“I am meeting a friend” you look up at him.

“Me too!” his lips widen in a grin.

“Your friend isn’t here yet?” he questions as his eyes fall on the empty chair in front of you and the two coffee cups sitting on your side of the table.

“Do you want to sit with me while I wait for him?” you question

He doesn’t hesitate and sits opposite you. “So it’s a guy friend. I see” he sounds a little bit jealous.

“Are you jealous?”you question, feeling the nervousness and dread from before dissipating just a bit.

“Kind of” he shrugs.

You chuckle. “I like the honesty”

He’s silent as he looks away, the tips of his ears growing red.

“So your friend isn’t here either?” you question in order to make him feel a little less embarrassed.

He abandons his incessant lip biting as he looks at you. “No she isn’t”

“Oh” your mouth hangs open. “It’s a girl”

“Why?” an amused look passes his face, lips quivering, threatening to spill into a smile. “Are you jealous?”

“Nah. I am not petty like that” you try to suppress a smile by biting your lip.

“Liar” he narrows his eyes at you in suspicion.

“Whatever you say Kim Taehyung” you shake your head. You crane your neck to look at the door in case someone is entering and in case that someone is V. “It’s ten and he isn’t here. I am just going to text him. Give me one sec” you slide your phone towards yourself and open the app to text V.

Bannamilk: Hey. Are you almost here? You didn’t get lost did you?

As soon as you send the message to V, Taehyung’s phone vibrates which sits on the table.

Strange.

You shut your phone and look up at Taehyung.

“Sorry. My friend, she just texted. One sec” he types quickly and when he puts his phone away, that's when your phone vibrates with a message from V.

Your brows furrow in confusion at the strangeness of your phone and his phone buzzing when you both send texts to your respective friend’s but you shake the feeling away focusing on the message on your screen.

Icedtea: I am here. Wait where are you?

Bananamilk: I am here too. I don’t see you.

As soon as the message ticks off as sent, Taehyung’s phone rings at the same time. This is too many times for it to be a coincidence. Could it possibly be… Probably not but just to put your ridiculous suspicion to rest you ask him.

“Taehyung?” you question and he looks up from his phone. “Is that a message from your friend by any chance?”

“Yeah” he nods.

“Wait…” you bite your lip and send another message to V. Taehyung’s phone vibrates again. You send another message, just random gibberish and it vibrates again.

“She’s just sending keyboard smashes now” Taehyung muses, looking confusedly at his phone.

Your mouth drops open at his statement. “Taehyung” you call tentatively. He looks up and you hold your phone in his direction.

He leans in closer to get a better look at whatever you’re showing him. His eyes dart across the screen as he reads your message and then a look of realization crosses his face. He blinks profusely, eyes switching focus from the screen to you.

“No fucking way” he mumbles in a dazed way.

“Yes fucking way” you mutter. “You’re V?”

“You’re-- wait. But how?” he continues to blink rapidly, clearly unable to comprehend whatever is happening. He shakes his head, and closes his eyes for a moment and lets out a shaky breath. He opens his eyes and gapes at you“You’re bananamilk? The girl I have been talking to for weeks?”

You nod slowly. “I- How is this even happening?”

“I have no idea” he says under his breath, rubbing his face.

“How have we been talking to each other on the app and face to face and not know any of this?” It's more of a rhetorical question. You don’t expect him to answer it because how the hell is he supposed to know that?

But he does respond. “I can’t believe I never talked about Yeontan with you. If he came up we would have known a long time ago”

“Holy fucking shit, Yeontan” you remember the picture V-- or rather Taehyung sent you as one of his very first messages to you.

“My head is spinning right now” he massages his temples.

“I need water” you get up and go to the ordering counter and get yourself and Taehyung water. You walk back, noticing Taehyung’s elbows planted firmly on the table and his face hidden behind his hands.

“Water” you mutter and place the glass in front of him. He emerges from behind his hands and doesn’t delay in chugging down the glass of water. “What now?”

“Does this change your feelings?” he questions instantly as he slams the glass on the table.

“You know why I invited you- well actually V-- here? To tell him-- rather you-- that I like him and I like you. But I like you more than I like him and that it wouldn’t be fair for me to keep talking to him-- or talking to you” you start feeling overwhelmed by it and pause. “This is confusing” you rub your temples with a sigh.

“So you like the real me better than the app me?” he asks, a slight amusement reflecting in his eyes.

“Don’t you feel betrayed though?” you look at him and question in all seriousness because it would make sense for him to feel at least some severity of disappointment. Because after all, this whole time to you, V and Taehyung were two different people.

“I get what you mean. You thought V was a different guy and liked him and then you started liking me too as Taehyung, not imagining that me and V are the same people. But it’s the same for me so I can’t be mad at you. I thought you and m’lady as I know you from the app, were two different people. I liked her-- well you-- and also the real life y/n at the same time” he smiles softly.

You bite your lip, unable to stop yourself from blinking profusely as the confusion still remains prevalent in your mind. “This is nuts” you cradle your head in your hands. “I still can’t believe it”

“It is” Taehyung’s voice comes through like a saviour and draws you out of the dizzying trance you find yourself in.

“Wait so when I joked with you that you’re cheating on me you grew all serious. Was that because of all this?” you question, curiosity getting the better of you.

“Yeah. I felt horrible. Because it did feel like cheating. Here I was with this amazing girl, starting to develop feelings for her. But then I already liked another girl too”

You shake your head slowly, still unable to fully grasp the situation. “You know I got the sense that something was wrong when you grew quiet and almost let go of my hand”

“Sorry I didn’t mean to but it just hit me hard and I got lost in those feelings”

“It’s okay” you offer with a smile.

“Are you mad at me?” he questions, voice laced with concern.

“No. I can’t be mad at you. I mean if it was only you and there actually were two people then I might have been hurt. But we’re in this together”

Taehyung pulls his lower lip between his teeth, a look of deep thought on his face. “So then we’re good?”

You laugh quietly, a short huff of air out of your nose. “We’re good”

“Since this is out in the open. I have to ask you this because I am dying of curiosity. When did you start liking me on the app and when did you start liking me in real life?” he questions, leaning in towards you.

“I think that first spark of attraction on the app happened when we started talking about classical music and then we talked about LA and how it’s a sucky place to grow up in. In real life I realized it was when you ordered half and half of shaved ice and then when you brought those snacks for the trip to Sonoma. I thought you were kind and considerate which drew me to you even more”

“Oooh” he chuckles. “For the app it was the same for me. But when I met you as y.n the moment that sticks out in my memory is when people at the restaurant kept calling us Mr. and Mrs. Kim. I realized I wouldn’t mind being your Mr. Kim”

“How romantic” you joke, but you can’t deny that it's cute.

Taehyung stifles a yawn but you catch it. “Did you not sleep?”. Sometimes it surprises you how easily you transition from one topic to another with Taehyung. There are no awkward pauses, no long deafening silences. Here you were two seconds ago talking about all the craziness but now you’re approaching a different topic.

He shakes his head, another yawn teetering at the edge. “I was too nervous about today”.

“Me too. I didn’t sleep a wink” you admit now that a bit of the confusion and from earlier has subsided.

“Do you wanna nap?” he asks, wagging his brows at you.

“Where?” you question

“I know a place” he gets up and extends his hand.

You take it and both of you walk out of the coffee shop hand in hand.

You blink daftly at Taehyung, unable to believe he’s brought you here. “Your mom’s office?”

“She has a couch” he points to the black piece of furniture that looks very comfortable at the moment. He flops down on it with a thud, head resting against the back.

“Whatever” you mumble and make your way to the inviting plush leather sofa. “I am too tired right now to be picky”

You lay your head in Taehyung’s lap after he insists that you use him as a pillow because “it will be more comfortable”. He plays with your hair absentmindedly, staring at nothing in particular with tired eyes.

“What if Mrs. K comes in and sees us like this?” you question making him lift his head and look at you with those groggy eyes.

“One, she’ll be delighted because she got her wish. Second, she won’t be here until tomorrow because her day is jam packed with meetings” he mutters, tiredness reflecting in the quietness of his voice.

You’re quiet in response as you think about nothing in particular. But then your mind shifts to how it used to be before you met Taehyung. Things were different back then. You were so sure you couldn’t fall in love, much less fall in ‘like’ with anyone. You didn’t even want to involve yourself in relationships. But then he came in the picture and even though at first you didn’t think you would end up anywhere, you realized on that first night with him that you could end up somewhere with him.

“Do you think this is going to change things?” you ask as you try to fight off the sleepiness because you need to know.

“It’s not changing a thing for me. I am relieved in a way to be honest” his voice is raspy. He continues to run his fingers through your scalp which makes the sleepy sensation worse

“Relieved?”

“Yeah. I fell for the same girl. Just different versions of her. I am so happy you are not two different people”

“Me too” you yawn.

“Anyway, I thought you were tired” he bends down and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I am ”you hold his arm over your torso and close your eyes finally. “I just wanted to know that things wouldn’t change”

“They won’t” he mumbles sleepily and you notice his eyes fluttering shut. You let yourself drift deeper into the sweet slumber that is slowly overtaking you. The last thing you remember is the sounds of soft snores filling the room before your eyes shut.

“Y/n”

Jolt

“Y/n”

In your sleepy state you can hear someone calling your name.

“Wake up. I should drop you home”

You groan and shift slightly.

“Okay seriously my legs are numb now, so you better get up”

You murmur and refuse to open your eyes even when you feel another sharp jolt of your body being shaken. You flinch when you feel a draft of air in your ear, and have to clap your hand to shut your ear close.

“Taehyung stop. Let me sleep” you whine in a raspy voice.

“It’s 9 pm y/n and my dear mother is here” he whispers close to the ear you're covering.

“What!” you awaken immediately at the mention of Mrs. K.

“Good evening” Taehyung greets and you slide your legs over the edge of the couch as you sit with your back against the sofa.

You look at him through half lidded eyes. “You said it’s 9 pm”

“It’s 5 pm. We’ve been here for six hours” he smiles gently

You look around for signs of Mrs. K but the room is empty save for you and Taehyung. “You lied about your mom being here” you croak, throat feeling parched.

“It was the only way to get you up. Now, let's get you home where you can sleep more peacefully” Taehyung reaches over and places a kiss on your temple.

“How much of a mess do I look like right now?” you rub your eyes.

“Well, your eyes are a little puffy, lips slightly dry, and your hair is a bit messy too. So all in all you look beautiful” he grins at you.

“Oh please don’t” you shake your head in pure disapproval.

“Whatever you say y/n. But seriously I’ve got to get you home”

“What are you, the curfew police?” you laugh quietly.

“Don’t try to change the subject”

You whine some more about wanting to sleep here because it’s comfortable but Taehyung promises that you’ll be much more comfortable at home in your bed. And who are you to say no Taehyung? He could ask you to jump off a cliff and you would do it. He could break your heart and you would still like him. You’re putty in his hands and so you let him drive you home.

At first when you offer Taehyung to come inside he refuses because he doesn’t want you to feel like you have to. But then when you explain that you really want him to come inside, after about fifty long seconds of thinking about it he says yes. He quietly follows you inside, and you lead him to the living room which is empty because Nina isn’t home. In fact she won’t be home for a few days.

Taehyung makes himself comfortable and like the gentleman he is asks if he can put on Netflix. You tell him he can do whatever he likes, well because he can. You give him the freedom and permission because you trust him. After putting your stuff away you join him on the sofa and immediately he cuddles up to you, placing his head on your shoulder and wrapping an arm around your torso. You extend an arm behind him, so you can play with his hair.

“What are we watching?” you ask, absentmindedly threading your fingers through his hair.

“The Witcher” Taehyung mumbles as he puts on the first episode.

“I forgot you are well aware of my Henry Cavill obsession”

“You forget I think he’s a piece of art. So technically I am doing this for me and you” he says softly, eyes glued to the TV.

You watch a few episodes in silence, occasionally changing your positions so that sometimes you are resting your head on his shoulder, or he’s laying his head on your lap and playing with your fingers as you’re both completely absorbed in the show.

He shifts his head in your lap as he turns his focus to you. “Y/n” his voice overlaps with the sounds of the Tv. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You look down at him with a soft smile. “Yes, I will” you reach down and press your lips against his. Taehyung immediately melts into it, hand reaching up to cup your cheek to deepen the kiss. Then in one smooth motion, he’s pinning you under himself. Your moans are muffled by his lips pressing soft kisses against your lips. His hands grip your sides, nails digging into your flesh.

“I want to do more than just kiss you y/n” he mumbles against your lips

You let him.

A shiver runs down your spine as Taehyung hovers over you, the bed creaking slightly due to the pressure of his hands digging into the mattress. He presses a kiss to your forehead, your nose, and then your lips. It begins as something playful, almost innocent but soon enough lust takes over and his kisses get hungrier. He wants more, and he conveys it as he digs his nails into your flesh making you wince in pain, but it’s the kind that’s pleasurable.

“Fuck I want you so bad y/n” he runs his fingers down the middle of your torso, hand stopping just above your hip bone, where he teasingly plays with the band of your jeans.

“Stop being a tease” you chide breathlessly, turning your head to look away from him

“Tell me you want it” he gently drags his finger upwards and it catches in the material of your shirt which rides up, partially exposing your stomach. His fingers continue grazing against your skin until his hand with your jaw and he makes you look at him. “Say it” he whispers softly, looking you straight in the eyes.

“I want it. I want you”

Taehyung doesn’t waste any time after you give him permission. He unzips your jeans and pulls them down your legs leaving you exposed in your panties. As he’s busy with that you almost rip your shirt as you hastily slide it over your head and throw it on the floor. A slight feeling of impatience overcomes you, as Taehyung very slowly crawls back up to you, leaving a trail of kisses over your exposed abdomen.

You’re so impatient that you arch your back to gain access to your bra clip but he is quick to grip your hand just as you’re about to unhook it “Leave it on” the expression in his eyes darkens considerably as he kisses up your chest and nibbles on your collarbone.

“Is that your kink?” you whisper breathlessly threading your fingers through his hair as he continues to bite gently along your collarbone.

“I think it’s hotter that way” he mumbles as his lips graze your skin.

He locks his hands in yours and raises your arms above your head while he moves down to press soft kisses along your inner thigh until he reaches just above your core. He licks a strip along the skin just above the hem of your panties, teasing you, making your insides ache even more for some kind of friction.

“Just do it” you mumble impatiently.

He chuckles. “Didn’t pin you for the impatient type”

“Didn’t pin you for the talking type” you tease. “I thought you would be more of an action kind of guy” you try to provoke just so he will act and loosen the knot that’s built in the pit of your stomach. A pulsating sensation rips through your core when he pushes away the fabric of your underwear and rubs his thumb up and down your clit.

“Shit” you shiver, back arching.

“I haven’t even touched you properly y/n” his raspy voice makes the throbbing even worse. You can feel yourself getting wet.

“Then do it. Please” you whine, craving his touch.

“Who am I to say no?” and without a warning he plunges a finger inside you.

“Oh my god, Taehyung--” your breath catches in your throat, breaking out in gasps as he pushes in and out slowly.

“Wow, you’re tight” Taehyung mumbles as he sets a slow pace making sure you can feel every movement. He curls his index finger inside you, hitting that sweet spot that has your whole body stiffening in response.

“Taehyung” you gasp, hips bucking automatically at the contact, your body yearning for the release that is building up slowly.

“Fuck” he whispers as he presses his lips against your clit, moving his tongue in ways that makes you almost scream out of pleasure. You clutch the fabric of the bed sheet tight, knuckles turning white as Taehyung increases the pace with which he slides his finger in and out of you. You can hear the squelch of his fingers fucking you as your walls begin to clamp down on his fingers. The knot in your stomach twists, as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

But just as you feel yourself teeter at the edge Taehyung takes his finger out.

“What are you doing?” you ask annoyed at being denied your orgasm.

“Your turn” he shuffles from between your legs and sits down at the edge of the bed, and takes his pants and boxers off. He looks over his shoulder at you, tongue peeking from behind his teeth. You get up, even though your legs feel weak and shift to the side so he has space. He shuffles back until he’s resting against the headboard.

When you see him, your eyes travel immediately between his legs. “Wow” you blink profusely. “I am not sure it will--”

“You’ll be fine. I got you” he says reassuringly as for a slight moment the primal expression of his eyes softens to be replaced by the comforting Kim Taehyung you are used to. “I promise”

You did not expect him to be that thick and long. You can see the veins popping along his shaft. Slightly worried, you crawl over to him on your hands and knees as he grips himself. You lick your lips at the sight of him looking he’s fucked out of his mind and you haven’t even touched him. It only serves to make your arousal worse.

You slap his hands away and wrap your own around his shaft. You bend down to lick a teasing line along the side and feel him shudder under you. Your confidence soars seeing him react so sensitively to your touch. You lick another strip at the crimson head, already leaking with precum.

“Stop being a fucking tease” his voice comes out strained which makes you laugh quietly, a huff of air out through your nose.

“Just repaying the favour Mr. Kim” you part your lips taking in as much of his cock into your mouth as you can. He reaches for your hair and pulls it back and thrusts his hips making you gag. You feel the head of his cock hit the back of your throat and you feel a slight burn in your jaw as he thrusts into your mouth once more.

“Fuck” he groans halting the movement and to let you continue on your own. You pull back up to the head and sink back down again and he shivers beneath you once more. You pull away from him, breathless as you wrap your fingers around him. You look up to meet his hooded eyes and start massaging his cock, watching as he bites his lip and a soft whimper escapes his throat.

“Keep going” he strains. You move your hand up and down against his shaft slowly at first and then you pick up the pace when you notice he starts twitching between your fingers. His thighs are tense as you fasten your pace and his chest rises and falls faster than before. The soft moans grow louder, hips lifting off the bed. It’s not long before he’s climaxing, and gasping for air as he bucks his hips for more friction. A guttural groan passes his lips as his orgasm hits him hard and his release coats your hands. But you don’t mind because the way Taehyung is gasping for air, red-faced, his hair in his eyes, lip caught between his teeth, it was worth it.

“I help you, you help me” you mumble as you lick your fingers free of his juices.

“That’s so hot y/n. Fuck. Just lie down” he orders and you don’t waste a single second getting on your back.

Taehyung hovers over you, hands locking yours in place beside your head, as he presses a hungry kiss to your lips. He leaves your mouth to place soft kisses to the crook of your neck. He lingers there for a moment before making his way back down until he is between your legs. He spreads your legs apart, and settles in between them immediately sliding two fingers this time in your core as he looks at you from between your legs.

“That’s it. Come on baby.” he mumbles as he dives in and suckles on your clit making that pressure build-up again as he moves in rhythm with his fingers. Your body feels like it’s on fire and you can't help but buck your hips in need of more friction. His fingers and his tongue pick up their pace making you keen as they work in tandem.

He pulls his mouth away from your clit. He fervently pushes his fingers in and out of you while with his other hand he rubs your clit. “Cum for me babe”

With the overstimulation, it’s not long before you are coming undone, walls pulsating and convulsing around his fingers. He draws patterns with his thumb on your clit as you climax. You shiver, and fist the bed sheet until your knuckles turn white as waves of pleasure rip through you.

“Taehyung-” you whimper

He licks as much of your cum as he can before he pulls away, shifting to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

“You were amazing” he praises as he rolls off you, gathering you up in his arms, feeling the sheen of sweat on your skin as he strokes your arm. “Shower?” he questions, slightly breathless.

“Give me a minute” you pant heavily trying to catch your breath as you snuggle against his warm body.

He chuckles and presses another kiss to your forehead. “Whatever you want y/n”

After you shower and clean yourself up, you and Taehyung make your way downstairs to the living room where you had left The Witcher on. You both fall down on the couch and you cuddle against him. He wraps his arm around you pulling you in closer. He reaches for the remote with his free hand and goes back to episode three which is where you had left off.

“Taehyung?” you ask softly

“Yeah” he replies, eyes glued to the show.

“Who was that girl in the picture you drew? The paper that I gave you when I first met you. I saw it”

“You” he replies.

You pull away from his warm embrace to look at him. You are sure it wasn’t you because it looked nothing like you. “Me?” your brows furrowed in confusion.

“I saw your picture on Swipe, but you were wearing sunglasses that covered half your face. So I didn’t clearly know what you looked like. On my way here to meet my mother, I made that sketch based on what I thought you would look like given your personality. I did that because I had started to like you.”

“Thats--” you have no words so you grab the material of his shirt and pull him in for a quick kiss.

“What was that?” he asks, confused once you pull apart.

“That deserves a kiss. You made me a playlist and then you drew a sketch. It was not of me. But it’s the thought that counts” you smile.

“I have a question too” he looks at you curiously.

“Go ahead”

“What did you wish for that day? I know you said you don’t wish and tell but I want to know if that wish came true” he reaches for your hand and locks his fingers into yours.

You’re quiet as you look at this man in front of you. The man who came like a whirlwind into your life and turned it upside down. A man you didn’t know until two weeks ago and then you knew all of him as V and as Taehyung. You got to see two different sides of him when people in this day and age are lucky enough to see one true side of someone.

“What was it?” he prompts again with a soft smile that crinkle’s the corners of his eyes.

“You” you whisper. “It was you. I wished for you”

“You didn’t even know me back then” he blinks in an awestruck manner.

“Yes I did. Just not in the way you or I thought. I wished that one day I hope I would meet V. Little did I know my wish had already come true hours before I made it and that it was standing in front of me in the form of you, Kim Taehyung”

He blinks. He’s quiet as he looks at you, eyes travelling the expanse of your face as if he’s trying to commit to memory. His eyes sparkle, and you can see yourself reflected in his brown irises. You can see yourself through them and for a moment you think you look beautiful.

“I love you” he leans in and presses a peck to your lips. “I love you so fucking much”

You’re positively beaming when he pulls away. “I love you too. So fucking much” you reply and he laughs pulling you into his side as both of you settle back to watch The Witcher.

{2 months later}

When you and Taehyung decide to take things forward, you spend the night over at his place in San Francisco when he’s there instead of your own which is perfectly fine with Nina. He flies out from New York every few weeks to see you which is one of the many cute things he does for you.

On one Friday night when he’s in town and you’re at his place, your sweet sweet slumber is disturbed by an annoying Taehyung at 1 am. The sounds of feet shuffling against the floor, objects clattering here and there, muffled sounds of music just makes it all the more difficult to stay asleep. You whine and turn on your stomach and run your hand to the other side of the bed, searching for a pillow. Once your hand makes contact with the fluffy object, you throw it over your ear to block out the annoying sounds.

“Y/n wake up” Taehyung’s voice blares through the room followed by the slow increase in the volume of music. “I’ll give you ten seconds babe”

“No….” you maon, clutching the pillow tighter to your ear.

“10, 9, 8, 7….” Taehyung’s voice grows nearer and nearer until the covers are being ripped off you along with the pillow. “We still need to get tickets”

You open an eye to find Taehyung looming over you, hands pressed on either side of you on the mattress. He’s already dressed and he smells like strawberries-- as usual. You abandon your comfortable sleeping position and turn on your back, eyes still half closed. “Can you really not tell me where we are going?” you complain as you open your eyes to find him looking at you with a soft look in his eyes.

“Even I don’t know where we are going. Impromptu vacation remember?” he explains as he gets up on the bed and straddles you. He wraps his fingers around your forearms and lifts you up. “Alright, up and at em’ ” he strains. Once you’re sitting up, he kisses the tip of your nose and shuffles off the bed. You’re so tired you can’t even be bothered to feel your usual blushy self at his cute romantic gestures.

“Can’t I sleep for five more minutes” you yawn.

“Y/n” he says warningly. You look in his direction to find him standing in front of the dressing table mirror, fixing his already perfect hair. “Get up or no more Henry Cavill movie marathons on the weekends” he looks at you through the mirror knowing that threatening you with this will do the trick.

“Wow” your jaw drops. “You’re really gonna do me dirty like that?”

“Okay seriously...” Taehyung turns on his heels and strides over to you, placing one arm under your knees and the other behind your back as he picks you up.

“Taehyung!” you squeal as he carries you over to the bathroom. He kicks the door open with his foot and enters inside, placing you gently on the floor. You shiver as your feet touch the cold floor. The mirror is fogged, exhaust fans blaring above you.

“Shower. Now” he ushers you towards the bathtub. He turns back towards the bathroom cabinets, crouches down and takes out a towel and stands up turning to you. He thrusts it in your hand. “Hurry up please” he stands on his toes to place a kiss on the top of your head and then he’s closing the door leaving you slightly annoyed.

You begrudgingly listen to him and quickly shower putting on your bathrobe. Once you’re out of the bathroom you find the bed has already been made, and your clothes laid out on the bed. Taehyung is one his phone as he’s relaxing on the bed.

“Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you?” you enter further into the room.

“No you haven’t but the feeling is mutual” Taehyung abandons his perch on top of the bed and quietly exits the room to let you change. It’s when he does things like this that makes you want to jump his bones. But given that you are on a time constraint and still a little tired you’re not in the mood for jumping anything.

Kim Taehyung sure does have taste as he picks out an outfit similar to his. Black cargo pants, with a white shirt and a blue denim jacket. You hear Taehyung calling out for you and quickly put on your clothes.

“I am done!” you yell back and he enters the room. “Did you pick matching outfits?” you ask because he’s also dressed in a white shirt tucked in black cargo pants and a loose blue denim jacket completes the look.

“It’s the trend these days. I would love to shower you in compliments because you look way better than I do, but we don’t have time” he tugs you by the wrist and hurries downstairs with you in tow. “Your shoes are by the door” he comments, gathering the luggage. Taehyung quickly puts his shoes on. He rushes past you with carry-on bags slung over his shoulders and hands occupied by the suitcases.

The night is crisp and slightly chilly as you step out and lock the door. You run over to the car, Taehyung already in the driver's seat all strapped in. This is the only time in your very new two month relationship where Taehyung hasn’t opened the car door for you. You quickly sit and put your seatbelt on and then he drives off.

“So where do you want to go?” he asks as you stand hand in hand in front of the large board displaying all the domestic flights.

When Taehyung suddenly proposed a spontaneous vacation your options were limited to staying in the country because everywhere else you would need a visa. But you didn’t have time for that so you both settled on picking the earliest flight you would find at the airport when you arrived.

You point to the board. “Seems like it’s gonna have to be New York” you say as it’s the earliest flight out of San Francisco at 4 am.

Taehyung follows your finger. “That’s easy then. I live there. We don’t even need to find a hotel”

“Well now you get to go home” you smile at him.

He uses his free hand and places it on your other cheek as he pulls you in to kiss your temple. “You’re my home silly. My home is where you are”

“See when you say things like that I don’t know what to do with myself. But you’re my home too” you admit daringly, not shying away at all.

He chuckles as he looks down at you. “I am never going to stop saying things like this. Ever. Because I am allowed to say them to you. If not you then who?” he grins from ear to ear.

“Kim Taehyung, if only you could see inside my heart and my mind and know how you make me feel” you sigh.

“I can see it on your face y/n. I don’t need anything else to know that” he pauses, the look in his eyes softening ever so slightly at seeing your lips quiver in a smile. That’s all he really needs to know what you feel. “Now, are you okay with New York?” he asks, directing both of your attention to more urgent matters because even he knows both of you could go on for hours about how much you love each other.

“It’s the earliest one, plus I have never been so it’s as good as any other place. Let's hope they have seats” you shrug.

After deciding on New York, Taehyung goes to the check in desk while you wait behind. You watch as he speaks with the lady at the desk and after a moment her eyes are scanning the screen in front of her. She looks up at him with a smile and then he turns over his shoulder with a grin and throws you a thumbs-up.

You immediately feel giddy at the prospect of going to New York with Taehyung and seeing the Rockefeller Centre, Central Park, Statue of Liberty, Times Square and the Empire State Building. You haven’t told him but you’ve held this fantasy of kissing him at the top of the Empire State Building ever since you got together.

He comes back with two boarding passes and tickets and hands one to you. “Lets go!” he says excitedly with a sparkle in his eyes as he naturally holds your hand.

“We’re really doing this?” you ask as you beside him disbelief painted on your face.

“I told you I would take you anywhere y/n and I meant it. Next time I am gonna take you on a real-out-of-the-country vacation. I promise” he looks down at you, a boxy smile ever present on his face as he squeezes your hand.

The waiting area is almost empty save for a few people here and there. You lie with your head in his lap, his denim jacket serving as a blanket on your feet as you are reading the Blood of the Elves-- the book that The Witcher is based on, a fact you didn't know until two weeks ago when Taehyung mentioned it. You practically freaked out and the next day a package of the series was waiting for you on your desk at work.

Taehyung runs his hands through your hair, too immersed in his own book. You pull down the novel to your chest and read the title of his book as it hovers above you.

“The subtle art of not giving a fuck” you mumble.

Taehyung’s face emerges from behind the book upon hearing you say that. “It’s a very good read” he closes the book.

“I hate non-fiction stuff” you reply.

“I know” he bends and places a soft peck on your lips. “Listen, I have something to give you”

“Oh?” you lift yourself off him and slide your legs over the edge of the seats and straighten up next to him. He rummages through his carry on and pulls out a piece of rolled paper with a red tie around it.

He holds it out for you. “Open it”

You take it from him, the texture of the paper soft against your fingers. You carefully untie the red string and the paper unfolds partially. You roll it back, eyes widening and mouth dropping open. “Taehyung….” you look at him .

“Do you like it?” he asks softly almost like he’s nervous that you won’t.

“I- I love it. When did you draw this?” you ask as you look down to admire the art-- rather your face which is staring back at you as a black and white sketch.

“I had some spare time” you look up to find him grinning at you.

“No one has ever done anything like this for me” you blink up at him, realizing for the first that he’s done things for you no one has-- he made you a playlist, helped you swim, and now he’s made you a sketch. “Why?” you question softly.

“Because you’re art y/n. To me you are the most beautiful piece of art. You take my breath away and I am catastrophically and hopelessly in love with you.”

“Kim Taehyung you… are...” you whisper as you stare at him in awe and disbelief, a smile pulling at your lips. You tug him towards you by the neckline of his t-shirt and then press your lips on his. You kiss him like you’ve never kissed anyone before. It feels like you’re drowning in your feelings for him and the only air you need is the touch of his lips against yours. When you pull back Taehyung’s ears are beet red, and his lips are stained pink by your lip gloss.

“I love you too, y/n” he looks at you with a fond look in his eyes.

“I love you more” you reply.

He gasps. “How dare you. I love you way more than you love me”

Your voices fill the air as you continue to argue about who loves who more.

You had no intention of being the seventeen year old you once were-- the one who could fall in love. But then Kim Taehyung waltzed into your life and made you feel like you were seventeen again. He made you fall in love with all of him. And you would gladly fall for him all over again if you were given the choice.

Thank you so much for reading. if you liked it be sure to let me know! My ask box and DMs are open :)

#bts smut #bts reactions #bts #bts taehyung #bts fanfic #bts writing #bts angst #bts fluff

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metalbvcky · 4 years

Text

*Shows up late to the Stucky/Marvel fandom Post-EG with Starbucks and dozens of fics that I’ve read in hand* So you guys like fanfiction?

Yeah so, because of quarantine I’ve been consuming a ton of fic. I’ve probably read over 1.5 million words in just a couple months. So why not share what I’ve been reading! Note that some of these are older (popular) fics so veteran Stucky peeps will probably know of them since I not too recently delved into the realm that is Stucky fanfic. :)

Down below are over a dozen fics with different tropes, Canon/AU’s, and what not. Please do heed the tags on some of these. For the curious: My AO3 bookmarks.

Also shoutout to @stuckylibrary, the mods over there are doing the lords work.

Key: ♥ = My fave, S = Smut, DS = Dom/Sub

Heroes are Easy, People are Hard ♥ by Halbereth, Lorien - Words: 152,284 | CW Fix It, Slight Canon Divergence, Recovery, Slow Burn

Shuri and Wanda cleared Bucky's triggers shortly after Killmonger's attempted coup, and he and Steve went on the run. But it turns out there's more to "fixing Bucky's head" than "getting Hydra out of it." When a group of rogue scientists manage to neutralize the serum and make Steve very sick--pre-serum "this is bad" kind of sick--and they're cut off from contact with Wakanda, Bucky knows only one person with resources to help. He calls Tony and surrenders on the condition that Tony tries to help Steve.

From there, it's basically three variously messed-up guys’ trajectories from "This Is Fine", "Reasonably Speaking I Know It’s Fine", "I Will Be Fine With It" to actually being fine, guest-starring a far-better-adjusted teenage boy who climbs walls, a 1957 Ford Thunderbird, two women with a keen sense of the absurd, and Bruce, the Zen master of “it’s fine that it’s not fine.” Add in the fact that Bucky's been secretly in love with Steve since the thirties and things only get harder. Learning to be a person is the hardest thing Bucky Barnes will ever have to do--but he's got company along the way.

Reap The Whirlwind by Cristinuke - Words: 18,221 | Canon Universe, Post CW, Domestic

Bucky finds a cat. Or rather, a cat finds him.

Your Favorite Ghost by augustbird - Words: 21,013 | Canon Divergence, Post TWS

It's harder than Steve ever expected to bring Bucky home.

Despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) ♥ by praximeter (Zimario) - Words: 71,532 | Canon Divergence TWS, Body Modifications

“They really didn’t want the mask to come off.” Hill thumbed through the scans, and pulled out a film that she then handed over to Sam, face mostly expressionless but for the flat line of her pursed lips.

Sam accepted the film and held it up to the light, angling so both he and Steve could see it, squinting at the outline of the Winter Soldier’s skull, and the blips of unnatural white that showed up, God, in his brain, not to mention about half his teeth, plus the mask, with its thin protrusions—

“Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.”

Hill’s face was as unmoved as ever. “Like I said. They really didn’t want it coming off.”

This city bleeds its aching heart ♥ by Renne - Words: 34,537 | Canon Universe, Fake/Pretend Relationship

The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.

The Best Way to Wake ♥ by LeeHan - Words: 42,293 | Post TFA, Canon Divergence TWS, Recovery

James Buchanan Barnes lay in a glass pod in the middle of the table, frozen since he fell. Steve’s hands were on the glass before he realized he’d moved. “Wait, Captain!” “Get him out,” Steve whispered, his hands searching for a clasp, a keypad, something. “Captain, we need to keep him in stasis—“ “I said get him out!”

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail ♥ series by owlet - Words: 264,438 | Canon Divergence (sort of)

The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

Undersell, overcommit by silentwalrus - Words: 10,222 | Canon Universe

Steve goes so hard for Bucky that he becomes a licensed, practicing massage therapist.

Sparked Up Like a Book of Matches by Sena - Words: 26,734 | Post-TWS, Canon Universe

Steve lives in Stark Tower and doesn't have much to do when he's not going after Hydra strongholds. He attends charity events to make Pepper happy. He goes hiking with Sam. He hangs out with Clint in Bed-Stuy and watches Dog Cops. Sometimes Tony gives him super alcohol in a sippy cup. Sometimes he sees Bucky out of the corner of his eye and wonders if it's real or if he's starting to lose his mind.

Alternately, the one with terrible jokes, a foot chase through the Lower East Side, and a tiny little robot named Shitcan.

Sugar Sweet ♥ from the Red Velvet series by ColorCoated - Words: 173,400 | Modern/Sugar Daddy AU, Age Difference, Slow Burn

"What's your name?" It wasn't even a line. He was just pretty and Bucky wanted a name to go with that face. With that strong jawline. With those deep blue eyes. A little smirk, "Steve."

Awww, Steve. He looked like a Steve. Bucky pursed his lips in a way he hoped was attractive, "You should buy me a drink."

College Student Bucky finds himself immediately attracted to Steve. He knows that Steve's a bit older than him, and that Steve himself is put off by the age difference. . . But that doesn't stop Bucky from wanting to climb him like a tree.

Steve and Bucky Go Away for the Weekend (and cook a lot) ♥ by E_Greer - Words: 30,126 | Canon Universe, Domestic

In which Steve coaxes Bucky out of the Tower for a birthday weekend away and sweet, fluffy domesticity ensues. Phlintasha helps keep Bucky calm, Steve has Opinions about how you set the table, stories are told, greenhouses are toured, baths are had, books are read, tears are shed, stars are gazed upon, and everyone makes Bucky feel loved. Includes Friday night dinner, Saturday morning breakfast, Saturday lunch, Saturday dinner, and Sunday brunch.

Dona Nobis Pacem by thegraytigress - Words: 65,214 | Canon Universe, Recovery

"This job... We try to save as many people as we can. Sometimes it doesn't mean everybody, but if we can't find a way to live with that... Next time maybe nobody gets saved."

An incident on the battlefield exposes how much Steve's falling apart under the crushing weight of leading the Avengers after Sokovia. Now Bucky's adopting a new mission: save Steve before he destroys himself completely, even if it means the end of Captain America.

Give 'Em Hope ♥ by L1av - Words: 130,022 | Modern/Hospital AU, UA/Age Difference

Dr. Steve Rogers likes to think that if his patients have hope- their chances of survival will increase. Bucky Barnes has a 20% chance of survival and a desperate yearning to experience life. Against Steve's better judgment, he develops a relationship with his patient. It's illegal. It's wrong. But it's giving Bucky the hope to keep going, so Steve's going to keep giving it, because he wants Bucky to survive. He needs him to.

You belong (to me) by hermionesmydawg - Words: 29,759 | S, DS, Canon Compliant, Post CW

"Hold on." Bucky lifted a finger and backed out of the doorway, returning a moment later with his cell phone. He snapped a photo of Steve, typed a few words, and then returned to his apple. "What the hell were you doing at a sex club last night?"

"Not having sex, if that's what you're wondering." An alert sounded from Steve's nightstand - a new Snapchat message. He rolled his eyes and unlocked his phone. Sam was always sending stupid Snapchats and frankly, Steve couldn't figure that goddamn app out and cursed whoever created that piece of shit.

The chat wasn't from Sam this time, however. It was a picture of himself, not looking guilty at all, with the caption "when your buddy catches you looking at p*rn."

Circling Back from the It’s Not Linear series by chaya - Words: 59,642 (Series Total: 136,782) | Canon Divergence

Steve looks for Bucky, Bucky finds Steve, Steve tries desperately to put Bucky back together. Bucky tries desperately to let him.

Continuing Education by 743ish, romanticalgirl - Words: 14,443 | S, Canon Universe/College, Shrunkyclunks

Steve is invited to be a guest lecturer on the WWII unit for Bucky's college course. Bucky's more than happy to glean any extra knowledge (in more than just history) from Steve, and Steve's happy to eductate him. But then Bucky has to decide if he can handle the fact that Steve throws himself into danger, and if the sex is worth it. Or if it's not just sex anymore.

Salt & Sugar by GoldBlooded, stfustucky - Words: 19,598 | Modern/Restaurant AU

Steve Rogers is a bigshot celebrity chef in New York City, and Bucky Barnes is a classically trained pastry chef in Moscow.

When billionaire and mutual friend Natasha Romanoff calls on them to collaborate for her Memorial Day Benefit Gala, they both brace themselves to spend the week working with some jerk they're bound to hate. Except... Steve makes a burger that could bring Bucky to tears, and Bucky makes tartlets so beautiful Steve's sure they qualify as art. Maybe, just maybe, together they could make this a night to remember.

@/sgtbarnes1917 and @/cptrogers1918 by BayleyWinchester - Words: 114,203 | Canon Universe, Social Media Fic

Bucky Barnes broke Twitter with one photo

Proprietary Information ♥ from the Additional Information series by notlucy - Words: 85,141 (Series Total: 165,871) | Modern AU, Age difference, Slow Burn

Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.

Deep in the Woods (Where My Heart Has Been Waiting) by SilverMyfanwy - Words: 15,353 | Pioneer-AU, Shrinkyclinks

Steve Rogers gets lost in the woods in a snowstorm. Bucky Barnes takes him in. Pioneer-era AU ish with Shrinkyclinks, evil chickens and a cabin in the woods.

A Bucky Odyssey by inediblesushi, thorstbench - Words: 9,952 | Shrinkyclinks, Cap!Bucky, Nurse!Steve

Bucky Barnes, Captain America, has a plan to make Steve Rogers, SHIELD nurse, fall in love with him. Confiding in the Internet might not be the best idea, though. So when the bad pick up lines do not work and Steve looks determined to staying single, he decides to be more himself and less what he thinks he should be.

At first I wanted to wait to post this until I finished a few more fics from my ever growing read-later list but what the heck, now or never! I’ll probably end up making a part 2 reclist by the amount of fic I’m reading these days.

Happy reading and stay safe out there fellow Stucky trash members!!

#stucky #stucky fanfic #stucky fic rec #stucky fanfic rec #stucky fic #stucky fanfiction #stucky au #marvel fanfic #steve x bucky #my reclist #long post for ts #wow this is over a million words worth of fic + that doesnt include everything else ive read omg #the amount of talent in the destiel and stucky fandoms are insanely incredible #a total of 21 fics and at least 5 are apart of a series ... thats a lot of words

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shintorikhazumi · 3 years

Text

“Dance For Me.”

A/N: Here’s your pole-dancing AU you bunch of thirsty… people on discord. Idk, I’m bad at… trashtalk if it’s not for self-defense. I also don’t cuss unless it’s in fics. Because I’m technically not cussing, the characters are *wink wink*.

Batting second after Lary! Khazumi~ Coming in! Unless someone already finished before I did and I didn’t notice, haha.

I’m not one to write NSFW. At least not for public… consumption. Borderline, yes. But like… I suck at NSFW, not gonna lie. I’ll try my very best?

I'm also sorry that I can't write pole dancing very well. Hope you can... picture out what's going on. haha.

Weirdest thing I searched for confirmation while writing this was ‘during intercourse are your pupils constricted or dilated’ Because my mind is so lost rn hahha.

My timeline here is before Christmas. I’m sorry. I need it.

Basically, I'm sorry for this trashy fic.

ayt.

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

This… is not quite what Diana expected when she left Akko this morning for work at the estate.

The past few months, Akko had been busy with teaching her classes at Luna Nova, on top of performing her scheduled weekend shows in town that the woman just wouldn’t give up the chance to do. Always for the smiles, always for the people’s happiness.

And Diana loves her for that, she really does. Dear Beatrix, she loves her wife- of three years now- to death.

But while she had been excitedly looking forward to the holidays, winter rolling around, expecting that she’d finally have her wife-mind you- all to herself, said wife had other plans, it seems.

Akko had agreed to be booked almost daily this season, and despite being home in Diana’s arms each night, she had absolutely zero energy to do anything but snuggle up to the former heiress and fall asleep in the blink of an eye.

Diana had pouted for days on end, telling Akko to give her one day, to spend just one day with her.

Akko, despite all her regrets of leaving her wife like this, couldn’t just cancel. But she had promised to dedicate the two days before the twenty-fifth, right up ‘til the end of vacation to her lovely spouse.

And Diana has to reluctantly agree. She knows in her heart that this is Akko’s passion, it’s what makes her the amazing woman known for her beautiful believing heart.

Diana just needs patience. So much patience.

But then, on the day of Christmas Eve, she gets a call from the manor. It’s related to the estate. About a sudden accident with one of her people. She couldn’t not go. At least she’d try to finish up early so she could offer her remaining time to-

Akko’s phone rings.

It’s a special request. A little girl’s birthday. And she just had to see the amazing Kagari (-Cavendish) Atsuko perform her special magic. Now this wouldn’t have been that much of a problem had the party been in the morning or early afternoon, however it appeared as though it would take place around five pm. Diana knows it will run overtime. It always does. Everyone loves to bask in the presence and utter warmth of ‘Atsuko’ after all.

So, Begrudgingly, they both prepare for their respective agendas, Diana feeling absolutely depressed over the fact that she would be coming home for Christmas eve to an empty house, cold halls, devoid of the calming scent and lovely voice of her wife singing her favorite Shiny Chariot showtune from the kitchen as she cooked all of Diana’s favorites.

Akko notices. She always does.

She walks up to the sulking blonde, cupping her face in her hands, chuckling at those pouty lips, those teary eyes. “I’m really sorry, my Diana.” She whispers. “Really, I am.”

Diana sighs in defeat, pulling her wife into one last bearhug before work.

“Can I at least have my own Magical Atsuko show?” She uncharacteristically turns her puppy eyes to her wife, only ever showing Akko this spoiled child within.

“I’ll only give you the very best.”

“With a little song?”

“Whatever you’d like

“Mm…” Diana nodded, looking down at her feet before raising her head, one last question on her mind. “Dance for me?”

“Sure, sweetheart.” Akko laughed, nuzzling her nose on Diana’s. “But for now,” She pinches the taller witch’s nose playfully before planting a kiss. “This is for the kids.”

…

This is DEFINITELY NOT “for the kids”. For any kids. For anyone for that matter. Diana would never show this to anyone. Over her dead. Lifeless. Fucking. Body.

Nonononono. Diana shakes her head a thousand times internally.

No.

Just no.

Diana gasps as she drops her suitcase on the floor, the contents spilling out at the impact. She had not expected this of all things. She imagined coming home to an empty house, no Akko, and miserable reheated food.

She hadn’t expected unlocking her door to the smells of a rotisserie chicken, some wine, and Akko’s homely scent.

She wasn’t expecting the low thrum of music in the background. She didn’t think that her wife would stand in front of her, in her usual show outfit- no. Wait. This isn’t her show outfit.

Like hell she’d wear that to a children’s party!!

No, this. THIS… This is a knock-off Shiny Chariot costume that is far too skimpy to be sold to the young and pure fans of Chariot. This is one of those costumes you’d see them sell adults for dumb pranks on Halloween, or see it at those kinds of shops.

How did Akko even get that?

Online?

The internet is truly fearsome. Shameless. So Shameless.

And so is Diana as she gawks at her pretty wife, donning a very short white skirt, a top that very much exposes her midriff- technically, only holding together those perky mounds-, a cape that is probably the only thing covering her wife that can be counted as decent, thigh-high- gosh- those thigh-high boots, hair free of that small side pony-tail; and that signature white witch hat tops off the ensemble.

“Welcome home~” Akko greets with her usual cheer, expression innocent and beaming, before it shifts a sultry color, tone dropping into a hushed invitation. “Diana.”

Said woman is quiet, she struggles to form a response.

Akko.

‘Let’s try saying your wife’s name now, Diana Cavendish.’

“A-A-A-A… aaahhhh…”

Oh, Great Beatrix, give me strength.

A lot of it. A trolley’s worth, if you must.

…-and stamina. Please. Strength and stamina to endure.

And Clearly Diana isn’t wishing to hold her ground against temptation.

She might just have a long night ahead.

“Diana.”

“Y-yes! I’m l-listening. Very clearly… most…. Definitely…” She says whilst staring at the gracious amounts of cleavage-

“Of course you are, babe.” Akko chuckles in that sickeningly sweet tone, taking a step forward as Diana takes one back. “Where are you going?” She takes another, as does Diana in the opposite direction, her back meeting the hard wood of their front door.

“N-nowhere, I’m… I’m Home.” Diana feels her hands become clammy, shaking, as she wonders where to put them.

“Heh~… I thought you were running away or something.” Akko smiles kindly, actions not as kind. She traps Diana with her body, arms on either side of her head. “And I wouldn’t like that. Would you?” Her eyes flutter innocently, lashes long, eyes wide.

There was clearly only one correct answer.

“N-no.”

“Good.” Akko laughs like gentle chimes, pleasant to the ear.

Diana smiles, feeling a little more relaxed.

-Before one hand comes off the wall and now climbs up her torso, Akko’s index and middle fingers walking up to Diana’s tie before her hand takes it, pulling it out of the vest.

“I always liked it when you wore ties.” She murmured, eyes blank and scrutinizing the tie. Before Diana could respond, Akko was already resting her head on Diana’s chest, hand absent-mindedly twirling the thin red tie. “I also like that you wear my colors on you.” Akko raised her head, pulling on Diana’s tie so that their faces came so incredibly close to one another, lips a hair’s breadth apart. “Tells people that you're mine.”

That effectively steals the air out of Diana’s lungs as Akko steps back, still holding fast to the tie, pulling Diana along, as if on a leash. Her Japanese wife leads her to the living room and sits her down on their amazingly comfortable couch.

But not even that could ease Diana’s tense nerves.

“H-Hi.”

“Hi, Diana.” Akko greets back, leaning over her wife, a finger gliding from the base of Diana’s throat to her jaw, tipping it up to guide blue eyes up to meet the most intoxicating wine. “What was your last little request for me this morning, again?”

“I- I… uh… um…”

“Yes?” The brunette lowers her body onto Diana’s head tucked between the poor heiress’ shoulder and neck, peppering kisses along her jaw. “Please remember, darling. I really want to do it for you, you know?” She chuckles, biting on a certain spot near Diana’s throat making her yelp, then licking the area to ease the pain. “I prepared really well for it. I tried so hard for you.”

Definitely not the only thing that was hard, Diana thinks.

An uncontrolled whine tears its way out of the blonde’s mouth, mind desperately trying to remember what the hell she last asked.

Then it clicks.

“D-dance…”

“Hmm?”

“Dance for me…?”

Akko seems elated with her answer, nuzzling her neck once before pulling away, Diana missing her warmth… or heat. Or both.

“With pleasure.”

Diana is sure there will be a lot of pleasure involved.

With a flick of her wand (where had Akko hidden that?), a pole rises from the floor in the open space of the room. Akko stalks hypnotizingly towards it, grasping the hard metal with one hand before smoothly pulling herself into her first twirl.

‘Oh Great Nine. This is one of those dances, isn’t it?’

Diana swallows so painfully, finding her throat constricted, the opposite to her dilating pupils as she watches her wife with the focus of a predator waiting on its prey.

Off goes the cape, and Diana only now realizes just how little of her wife’s ass is actually covered by that skirt.

She loves Akko’s ass- She loves Akko. Period.

-along with her thighs and bottom.

She admires her better half’s toned body, muscles flexing and simply wonderful as Akko spins herself around the pole gracefully, hanging onto it with only one hand. The elegance of the movements allows Diana to forget her barely restrained arousal, leaving her in awe for a few moments.

Then a toned leg wraps itself around the pole, Akko rolling her body up against it, turning her gaze to Diana, eyes half-lidded and so sinful. All that talk about grace- screw it, right now.

Another twirl, and another, and another.

Akko climbs her way up the pole so sensually, Diana wishes she were the one being climbed like that. Then Akko stops near the top, almost as though she was frozen. Diana waits with bated breath, before Akko’s hands suddenly release the pole, falling backwards; and Diana panics, thinking something happened and her wife was about to hit the ground hard- but only the hat does so. Akko’s body hangs smoothly in the air, legs squeezing tight, flexing those amazing thighs.

Oh, to be between them instead.

The spinning restarts. Repeats over and over, legs stretching out, then pulling in. At times, an arm would reach out, almost as if it were inviting the audience in, to come closer; to come touch this performer. Then Akko lowers herself to the ground, movements sophisticated, nimble, body poised, and oh so sensual. It’s an interpretative dance, and there must be story behind it.

Diana just doesn’t have enough brain power to process it.

She gasps as her wife stands up; the skirt is forgone, leaving Akko in racy black panties that matches her top that might as well not exist. And again, she’s on that pole, embracing it, caressing it with one hand, down to her body, allowing her palm to slide down her chest to a taut stomach, abs glistening in sweat, before reaching down her legs, and between her thighs, then out, back to latching onto the pole.

The loss of garment shouldn’t distract her. She’s sure this action was to give her wife better grip on the pole. Definitely the reason. Yes. Not because this was… was a… that.

Of course.

Breaking the unspoken rule of silence, a voice suddenly begs for her attention.

“Diana…”

…

Fuck.

“Nnmm!”

Diana throws her head back for a second, needing to relieve her burdened senses at the sight that had just greeted her mere moments ago.

Akko had basically rubbed herself against the pole, her most intimate place surely touching it as she slid up then down, dropping into an air-split, barely hovering over the ground, still twirling, yet painfully slow this time, basically presenting herself to the very red mess breathing heavily on the couch.

Diana’s not sure she can stay seated anymore. She’s been holding back. She’s certain she can’t keep holding back.

“But why are you holding back?”

The question throws her for a loop, eyes so wide, as she stares at Akko’s tantalizing figure, draped over her pole, breathing as difficultly as Diana is.

She releases her show equipment, leaving the pole to disappear as she strides forward provocatively, halting in front of Diana, placing her hands down on the blonde’s open lap, freeing them from their squeezed-together position just moments ago. They massage at Diana’s thighs, and the heiress moans, unsuppressed.

Her dancer takes a seat on her lap, hands busying themselves with loosening Diana’s tie a bit more, removing it from her before Akko slings it around her own neck.

“You are so mean, Diana… even after I called for you so many times…” Akko whispers against her lips, eyes fiery and slightly angered. Diana’s hands are guided to rest on Akko’s hips as she grinds against her wife needily. “Utterly horrible.”

It should be the winter season as it was Christmas. Diana knows that the outside world was harshly cold and chilly, but that temperature did not seem to apply to her. Most definitely not within Diana, and most definitely not between her leee-heeeeg- ‘damn you, Akko’.

“Why would you not come for me?”

‘Which ‘come’ might we be discussing here’, Diana wonders.

“I… I didn’t know… my apologies.” Diana stutters out, distracted by the hand touching the inside of her thigh.

“Even when I made it so obvious?” Akko pouts, biting Diana’s shoulder angrily as her hands make quick work of the taller witch’s buttoned shirt. Those same hands splay against her collarbone and shoulders, caressing and teasing, moving to the back of her head to massage her scalp. The Head of Cavendish gets pulled into a long kiss, her significant other’s tongue pleading entrance as it licks along Diana’s full lips, thighs squeezing Diana’s legs.

Diana permits, giving the appendage access to explore her mouth completely, sometimes brushing against her gums, and gliding along her teeth, entangling with her own tongue. Akko pulls away with a rough nip on Diana’s lower lip.

The latter’s hand is held captive, guided somewhere along her lover’s body.

The heiress fails at hindering any sounds from escaping her as she feels hot liquid drip onto her fingers, before pooling into her open palm. So that’s where Akko had brought it.

“Diana.”

Her eyes are bewitching. Fitting of her occupation. They hold Diana’s gaze a prisoner, not against her will. They compel her to do something. Akko rubs against her once more, and Diana whimpers aloud.

“Diana.”

Arms tighten their loop against Diana’s neck. Akko’s voice still sounds calm and controlled, but her actions tell Diana that she is anything but. She’s basically riding her at this point.

“Diana.”

“Y-yesh?!” Hooded, dark, tempting. Akko’s eyes were all those things. And maybe Diana’s were too.

“Diana.”

“Yes…?” Diana feels a switch flip as her finger slips into that wet, heated space and makes Akko cry a lovely tone. She goes deaf to the world, all her focus on the woman shivering delightfully in her arms.

“Diana…”

“Yes…”

“Dance with me.”

A/N: So… sequel?

~Shintori Khazumi

#dianakko #Little Witch Academia #lwa #rated m #read at your own discretion #diana x akko #diana #diana cavendish #atsuko kagari #kagari akko #pole dancing au #fanfic

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hxwks-gf · 3 years

Note

PEACH BBY 🍑♡ CONGRATULATIONS ON 1K YOU GORGEOUS HOOMAN YOU 🥺 ilysm 🥲😭

imma be honest i have too many comfort characters from bnha so i threw a d6 die and it picked shinsou for this 😂 i also have too many favorite tropes but latey i have been loving the fake dating one. it’s just ✨chef’s kiss✨

i have a lot of reasons why i love toshi. probably because i relate to him in many ways. i feel like in the bnha universe we’d get along v well; plus i headcanon i’d probably have a snow/ice quirk or one related to dreams. like pls, toshi, lemme give you a goodnight smooch and help you sleeeeep istg 😂😅

LOVE YOU 🥺♡

RACH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! THANK YOU FOR BEING SO AMAZING AND AN INCREDIBLE FRIEND I WANNA HUG U SO BAD RN!! 🥺❤️ ENJOY BBY ILY

pairing: hitoshi x you

trope: fake dating (with friends to lovers for some extra spice)

“We’re—um—dating,” you meekly announced to your family, feeling Shinso’s hand awkwardly slide around your shoulders. As the rest of the group gave you blank stares of confusion, you looked up at Shinso with a panicked expression. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, but he put on his calmest face and started explaining the story you and him had cooked up together. As he spoke, you watched him, wondering if this would even work.

How on earth did you get here?

Three days earlier

“I need a coffee,” Shinso groaned as he stretched his limbs and tipped his head over the edge of the chair to look at you. “Those dreams you’ve been giving me with your quirk have been working, but I’m still exhausted.”

You looked up from the handful of unanswered texts you had sent to the guy you had been seeing, unable to hide the disappointment in your face, and Shinso noticed it immediately.

“What’s up?” he asked, righting himself and leaning against the arm of the chair. “Boy problems again?”

You sighed and closed your phone. “Ghosted, it looks like. I really had a good feeling about this one, too. He was supposed to come home to meet my parents this holiday.” You put your phone face down and stared at it.

“Is it that bad if you go home without him?”

“My parents are...old-fashioned,” you started, choosing your words carefully as you fiddled with the desk. “Every year they just get more and more disappointed when I don’t bring someone home.”

Shinso hummed and ran his hands through his hair, pulling at his tired eyes. “So...coffee?”

“Yeah, coffee sounds good,” you mumbled, getting to your feet and fetching your bag. “You’re buying.”

“Anything for you, (y/n).”

—

“So,” Shinso broke the silence, dumping two packets of sugar into his cup. “I have a crazy idea that may or may not be because I’m running on four and a half hours of sleep.”

You picked your head up and looked at him through half-lidded eyes. “Eh?”

He stirred in the sugar and took a sip. “What if I went home with you for the holidays? To meet your family?”

You blinked and stared at him. “What?”

“You know, like you said,” Shinso replied. “So they won’t be disappointed again.”

“But...we’re not dating,” you said bluntly.

“We could...pretend.” Shinso took another sip and looked at you. “We’re already close enough as it is, I’m sure it wouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.”

You slowly sat up straight, not once breaking eye contact with him. Why was he making sense? Was it because you were so tired? Rubbing your temples, you thought about the probability of your parents believing it. “What happens if we can’t pull it off?”

“I think we could do it,” he chuckled, setting his cup down. “Trust me.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Your parents already love me,” Shinso pointed out. “And we’ve been close friends for years now, ever since graduation. Everyone loves a good friends-to-lovers story.”

You swirled your coffee and stared at your reflection. “Alright, fine. Let’s do it.”

Shinso leaned back with a satisfied smile and drank his coffee. But he held up one finger: “You have you promise me something though.”

“What’s that?”

“You have to promise you won’t fall in love with me.”

You snorted into your cup. “You’re hilarious.”

—

So, here you were, standing in front of your family and lying to them. Shinso finished the fake backstory and you watched their faces, gauging their reactions.

“This is...” your mother spoke up, stepping forward with her hands clasped tightly. You braced for the lecture on lying— “...wonderful!”

Your jaw dropped. “W-what?”

“Oh, we’ve been waiting for this for years!” she sang, reaching out and patting Shinso’s cheeks affectionately. “I’m so happy for you both.”

You looked up at Shinso in bewilderment. He seemed to be taking it well, smiling and laughing, as if he knew this was how they’d react the whole time. Did he...?

—

Later that evening, you sat beside him on the back porch with cups of tea, admiring the snow falling amongst the stars that peeked through the clouds. You looked over at him as he blew the steam away from his drink.

“What?” he asked without looking at you.

“How did you know?” You scooted forward to face him. “About my parents. How did you know they’d accept it?”

Shinso chuckled and tipped his head back to admire the stars. “Does it matter?”

“It matters to me,” you bit back, shivering from the cold.

“Have you really not been paying attention?”

“What are you talking about?”

Shinso sighed and sipped his tea. “I guess I never made my intentions clear enough, that part is my fault.”

“Your...intentions?”

“You’re my best friend, (y/n),” he said, giving you a sideways glance. “There’s no one else I’d rather do life with than you. I’ll admit, I never made it obvious enough for you to figure it out, but I like being mysterious.”

You stared at him: the flecks of snow that stuck in his indigo hair, the shadows under his eyes that never seemed to go away, and the way he was looking up at you with such adoration that it made you feel warmer than ever, despite the winter air.

“Shinso,” you whispered, your breath visible. “What are you saying?”

He set his cup down and stood up, reaching out to adjust your scarf that was tightly wrapped around your neck. He was so close, so warm...

“You’re my favorite person,” he murmured. “Let me take care of you.”

You couldn’t find the right words to say, and he slowly leaned in to place the gentlest of kisses on your parted lips. He tasted like tea and a lingering sweetness as he kissed you, carefully cradling your cold cheeks in his hands. It felt right.

“This whole time,” you murmured against his mouth, your hands wrapping around his torso, “you were right in front of me this whole time.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, pulling away and looking down at you with an amused smirk. “But I’m a patient guy.”

You returned the smile with a blush creeping into your cheeks. Before you could say anything else, another violent shiver rocked through you. Shinso pulled you closer and rested his chin atop your head, and you stayed like that for a moment, before he guided you back inside.

“C’mon,” he said softly into your ear. “You’re freezing and I could use another cup of tea.”

#peach celebrates 1000 #hitoshi shinso x y/n #shinsou hitoshi #hitoshi x you #this was one of my favorites so far!!!!#fake dating + friends to lovers #SUPERIOR

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secretlynestaarcheron · 3 years

Text

Angstmas Day Four

Nessian AU // Hardest goodbye

Nesta looks up at the phone that she propped up on her desk chair against three textbooks. She was sitting on the floor with her clothes sprawled around her. She scowls at the screen, “Stop laughing, its not funny,” she snaps, her scowl turning into a frown as she looks at the half packed suitcase.

“It’s kind of funny,” Cassian replies, he had his phone propped up on the counter as she stood over his stove where he was finishing up making dinner for himself. “Why do you always wait until the night before you leave to pack?”

Nesta groans, “Because I am a procrastinator and I don’t want to think about having to put all of this back. Why don’t you come visit me, huh?” she mutters, throwing a tee shirt into the suitcase and then pulling it out again. “What are we doing again?”

Cassian stops stirring his food to look at her. “You’re coming for three days, we aren’t going to do anything,” he retorts.

She runs a hand through her hair. “But what if we decide to go on a hike? Or swim? Or you get invited to a gala?” she questions. “I need to be prepared. You know I don’t like feeling not prepared.”

He laughs. “Bring normal clothes and if any of that happens I will take you to a store and buy you what you need, but I doubt I will suddenly have the urge to swim or hike in winter or be invited to a gala,” he replies, pausing as he rubs his chin, “But uh-, I was planning a nice dinner for Saturday if you want to bring nice warm outfit.”

“You can’t tell me that! I have six hours until my flight and I still need to sleep! Now I have to plan an outfit? It's fine, It’s fine, everything is fine, I’ll just bring a few different options,” Nesta replies with a wave of her hand as she gets to work. Cassian sets up his phone on the table as he eats his dinner making small talk as she finishes up packing.

Nesta zips it shut and looks back at the phone. “Two hours, I’ll be at the airport! Three hours I will be on the plane! Seven hours, I’ll be with you!” she exclaims.

Cassian smiles, “Remember to send me your flight information before you crash,” he says.

“You know me so well,” she smiles. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” he responds. “Can’t wait to see you.”

The screen goes black after she blows him a kiss, she types in the information quickly and hits send before falling asleep on the floor. She had forty-five minutes to sleep before she had to get up and start heading towards the airport.

She sits in the seat, watching the line of people walk by, she takes a picture of herself looking out the plane window and sends it to Cassian with the caption: Can’t wait to see my boo, bet he’s looking PLANE sexy rn.

I literally hate you, get off the plane, go home. I am not picking you up. Cassian texts back almost immediately.

What qualifications do I need to be your frequent flyer member? She pipes back, chuckling into the sleeve of the sweatshirt she was wearing which she may or may not have stolen last time she went to visit him.

She watches the three dots disappear and then his text pop up. You’re cringy.

I bet I need a sophisticated navigation system to navigate myself to your heart. She texts back. She sends another one just as fast, I have turbulence in my heart everytime I look at you (uwu face).

No (red heart) He replies quickly. Where are you finding these? Do you just have a file in your brain of cheesy plane pick up lines?

If you wanna be a pilot, babe, I’ll teach you how to press all the right buttons. She replies.

She watches as the flight attendants begin closing all the overhead luggage and telling everyone to shut off their phones. She looks down to see a new message from Cassian. Are you checked luggage? Because I’d wait an eternity for you.

She bites back a smile. She really loved that boy. My flight is taking off. See you soon! She pauses, her fingers hovering over the buttons. Something inside of her told her she should write more, to tell him how she really felt about him. She quickly types a message, clicking send, as she puts her phone into airplane mood.

Cassian POV

Cassian sits in the galley watching his friend and fellow lieutenant Rhysand tell a story animatedly to Azriel and Amren. “Earth to Cas,” Rhysand says, shoving his friend until Cassian looks up at him. “Did you hear anything I said? I just told a wicked story about how Tamlin got what was coming to him.”

Azriel chuckles from where he was sitting across from Cassian, he smiled smugly at him as he explains, “His girl is coming to town tonight, he’s probably tracking her right now. How far away?” Azriel raises an eyebrow expectantly.

“Two hours,” Cassian mumbles under his breath but loud enough that Rhysand and Azriel start whooping and Amren rolls her eyes at the scene. “I haven’t seen her in six months and it was only for a night, before that it was a year. Forgive me for being excited.”

Rhysand snickers, “Whipped,” he says through coughs.

“Who’s whipped?” Mor asks as she falls into the seat beside Cassian. Rhysand chuckles as he says, “Cassian. He’s a in loveee with Nesta Archeron.” Cassian reaches over and smacks Rhysand in the back of the head.

“I think it’s sweet, at least he had a girlfriend unlike the rest of you,” she snaps back, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she leans back. “Oh my god,” she explains. “Have you guys seen what's trending? Apparently there was a massive crash a couple miles away from DTW.”

Cassian’s world froze in place. Everyone around him was a blur. Azriel was saying something to him. Mor was showing Amren pictures. Rhysand was already running up to the front to have them change one of the TVs to the local new station.

“ALL 112 ABROAD FLIGHT 3529 DIE IN ENGINE FAILURE”

Cassian hands shake, as Mor grips his shoulder turning him towards her. “Where was she coming from?” she asks. He doesn’t remember saying anything, only his mouth moving, and the fear in her eyes as she looks back up at the TV.

“There had to be tons of planes going from BOS to DTW, do you have her plane information?” Azriel asks, standing in between Cassian and the TV. The TV that showed a plane that was so destroyed you wouldn’t have even known what it was. The fire blurred in his vision, if she hadn’t died in the crash then she definitely-, Azriel shakes him. “Listen to me, we don’t know that’s the plane she was on. Do you have her confirmation?”

Cassian swallows, tuning away from the blinding lights of the fire and the haunting memory of what she had possibly one through to pull up his phone. A text from her blinked back at him. She texted him, she was ok. He quickly typed in hsi password the text standing out to him. You’re my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye. I love you millions, Cassian.

It had been sent three hours ago. She had sent it before she even left. How did he not see it? Why had she sent it? It’s like she had known this would have happened. He scrolls up to their messages from the night before and the screen shot of her ticket. He looks around until his eyes fall on the flight. The numbers 3529 blink back at him.

He hands his phone to Azriel who scans the photo as well, his hopefully expression falling as he slides the phone towards Rhysand and Mor before pulling Cassian into a tight hug. How had she known that he would have to go through the hardest goodbye of his life? How had she known the impact of her words based on the weight on his shoulders.

Was she scared? Did she know she was going to die? Was it quick? The thoughts ran through his head. Even his friends who swarmed around him couldn’t pull him from the tides that ripped through his mind. Nesta Archeron was gone. He would no longer see her bright smile, laugh at one of her cheesy pickup lines, or run a hand through her soft curls.

He would never see the determination that shone bright in her eyes, or the curiosity or the passion when she was discussing a book she had read recently. How she mumbled in her sleep or how she had to be touching him when they slept.

How her eyes lit up when he asked if she wanted to get coffee before they started their day or watching her favorite movie. How her lips were curved when she was hiding something that usually ended up with her dragging him through an animal shelter to play with cats or a weekend road trip that ended with a airbnb treehouse stay.

He would never see her sing into her hairbrush again after she showered and was wearing one of his sweatshirts. He would never see rub the sleep from her eyes as he brought her breakfast in bed.

She was his hardest goodbye.

#angstmas #angstmas 2020 #kinda short #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #nessian headcanon #nesta acheron #nessian #nesta #cassian #acotar #acotar fanficition

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hockeytrashgoblin · 4 years

Text

Ice Cold ~Part 1

A/N: Very exciting new series! I’m pumped! Hope you guys like it! If not please be gentle with me I’m not doing great rn lmao Just kidding constructive criticism is always welcome. Enjoy!

"Alright (y/n) one more thing." the lady interviewing me said while closing my portfolio. "Welcome to the team."

"Really?" I said incredulously.

"Yes. You do amazing work and we would love to have you on our photography media team."

"Thank you so much! When do I start?"

"Well we're going to do some paperwork today, introduce you to your partner and get you cleared to go photograph the Maple Leafs game Saturday."

"Alright that sounds great!"

The day passed by in an excited blur. I did all the paperwork necessary and all the confidentiality requirements that go along with working for Roger's sports and media. I met a lot of people but the most memorable were my partner Amy and a journalist named Peter. Amy seemed like someone I would have a lot of fun with and Peter was just cute and kinda funny. I made sure to get their numbers before I started my walk to the subway to get back home. I put on my favourite podcast, Cult Liter by Spencer Henry, and started walking. I don't know if it was the podcast or just being in the middle of downtown Toronto but it felt like I was being watched. I shook it off and went into the underground to get home.

Two days later I was walking into the Scotiabank arena to meet Amy outside. I was so nervous but it was so exciting. My love of sports and my passion for photography coming together so perfectly. I found Amy pretty quickly, her green hair making her easy to spot.

"Hey!"

"Hi! You ready to go in?"

"Yes! I'm so excited! I love hockey but I've never been able to afford to go to a game so this is actually super cool."

"Yeah I'm not really into sports but I love photography. I'm excited for you though, that's gonna be so fun for you!" She said elbowing my side. "Do you like either of the teams playing?"

"I'm not a fan of Toronto to be honest. I like a lot of players though. I really like Montreal though so this should be fun!"

"Yeah that'll be cool! So just so you know, we're going to have to go through a lot of security and pat downs. It sucks but it is what it is."

We really did have to do a lot of security stuff. I was kind of surprised but at the same time not really. We were going to be going through close to the players and seeing them after the game. I kind of followed Amy's lead through everything.

We got to our place where we would take pictures and started setting up our equipment. As soon as the guys came out onto the ice I was so excited. I started snapping pictures of all the guys. I was mostly supposed to take pictures of Toronto but hey I'm not letting an opportunity to photograph the literal perfect man Max Domi go. I was taking pictures of Fredrik Andersen when he skated into frame. He was staring at me and I lowered the camera making eye contact with him. It was a weird moment, probably only a couple seconds, but it felt like forever. It was a little unsettling but I was so intrigued. I really loved him as a player and it was kinda cool that he acknowledged me. I got nervous though and looked away.

"That was weird." Amy said quietly.

"Okay good so I'm not the only one who thought that was strange?"

"No that was definitely weird. I've never seen Nylander do that before."

"Weird.." I looked back up and he was shaking his head laughing. "It's probably just because I'm new."

"Yeah that could be it."

We focused again on taking pictures throughout the game although I definitely started actually watching and cheering which Amy found hilarious. She ended up taking a picture of me when Montreal got a goal. There were a couple more awkward times where he just stared at me. One time he got a goal while never taking his eyes away from mine. I was definitely impressed but I always was with him so it wasn't exactly a surprise.

Toronto ended up winning unfortunately. 7-4. After the game was done Amy and I went to upload the pictures to a company hard drive as backup.

"We are going out drinking to celebrate your first day!"

"I'm hardly dressed for a club."

"Who cares everyone's gonna be drunk. I want to celebrate with you, get to know you better."

"Alright fine I'm down. Let's go!"

We went to a pretty lowkey bar that was close to the arena. We went up to the bar and sat down ordering two vodka cranberries. We just talked about what had brought us to where we were now. What happened in our lives. I really trusted her and I found myself thinking we were going to be best friends.

"I don't mean to interrupt your story but uh, William is in here."

"Oh?"

"Yeah behind us, 3 o'clock." I turned slightly to look and found him already staring with a grin on his lips.

"God how long has he been looking at me?"

"Since they sat down about 5 minutes ago."

"Unbelievable." I said scoffing. "What's his problem?"

"Maybe he wants to know you?"

"Then why wouldn't he come over here and talk to me?"

"We could go talk to them?"

"Amy! As if my anxious brain would ever let me approach a group of hockey players if I'm not forced to for work."

"Well maybe you won't have to. He's coming over."

"Oh for fuck sake." I downed the rest of my drink as he sat down on my right. Amy got up and went I don't know where. I turned to look at him.

"Hello." He murmured, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Uh hi."

"What are you having?"

"Vodka cranberry."

"A baby drink." He turned to the bartender and signalled for two more to be brought over.

"Yeah well."

"I'm William."

"(Y/n)."

"You're new." It wasn't a question but I treated it like one.

"Yes today was my first day."

"How was it? I noticed you not cheering for us."

"It was good. I've never been to a game so it was fun as well as work. And yes you noticed right. Toronto is not my hockey team."

"Ouch you wound me."

"Want a bandaid?"

"Pfft no I think I'll manage." He said with a chuckle. "You're funny."

"Yes I am. Thank you for noticing." I said with a grin.

"I like your smile."

"Shut up that's not even my real smile." I laughed.

"Yeah but I got one right there and i like it too." He smiled then frowned looking behind me.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm afraid my friends don't like that I'm over here talking to you."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to steal you from your friends."

"You didn't, it's not that, I promise. It's uh.. complicated."

"Complicated how?"

"We have this agreement."

"What kind of agreement?"

"Man you ask a lot of questions."

"I'm sorry." I said blushing immediately.

"Don't be. We have an agreement to not talk to girls when we go drinking."

"Oh how come?"

"We're the rookies. Doesn't really look good on us to be seen with women all the time."

"So they're mad that I'm talking to you?"

"They think I'm trying to sleep with you."

"Are you?"

"Not right this moment." He said with a wink making me laugh.

"Then what are you doing William?" I asked, still smiling at him, resting my head on my hand.

"Making a good first impression I hope. Starting to get to know you perhaps?"

"Why?"

"You're very interesting. Intriguing even. I want to know you."

"That's bold of you to assume. I'm pretty boring you know. Nothing special here."

"I don't agree at all." He said seriously, holding my gaze with warm eyes. "Hey do you maybe want to get out of here?"

"Nylander, I thought you weren't trying to fuck?"

"I'm not. I'm just sick of the glares." he said pointing back to his table. I looked back and locked eyes with an angry Auston Matthews.

"Brr. If looks could kill I'd probably be dead right now."

"Let's go." I must have looked unconvinced because he added, "I promise you'll leave me with your virtue intact."

"Pfft it's hardly intact. What about my friend though?"

"Check your phone, I heard it vibrate, it might've been her." I stared at him hard. "What?"

"You heard it vibrate? In my winter coat pocket?"

"Um maybe it was something else but I thought it was a phone. I have good hearing."

"Ooohkay." I said taking my phone out. "Well you were right. Amy met up with her boyfriend and is headed home."

"So will you come with me?"

"I guess so." I shrugged putting my coat back on. I jumped off the stool and waited for him. "Lead the way."

"You're smaller than I thought."

"Sorry..?"

"No no you've got nothing to apologize for. I'm just usually not off with my perceptions."

"You're a strange one William." I said as he opened the door for me and we stepped out into the frigid winter air.

"You could say that yes." He said with a smile. "Would you be alright to walk around for a little bit? I love when it snows. Something about the snow falling at night is so peaceful."

"Yeah that would be fun. I agree. I love walking in the snow at night time."

"Do you often walk around Toronto at night?"

"No not often. I'm too paranoid to do it much."

"That's probably a good idea. You never know what dangers lurk out here at night."

"Crackheads." I said nodding solemnly, making his burst out laughing.

"That's not exactly what I meant but yes crackheads are not to be messed with."

"I'm more paranoid when no one is around. I think I hear things and I'm on red alert all the time. Sorry that's kinda weird."

"No, you're fine. I understand, although I'm much more nervous about people than I am the lack of them."

"How come?"

"People lie. People will pretend to like you. Learn your secrets and destroy you. It's very rare that I trust a person to get close to me at all."

"Do you trust me..?"

"Yes. You're different, I can tell. There's just something about you that makes me think you'd keep a secret to your dying breath."

"You're right about that. I'd never share something that wasn't mine to share unless someone was in immediate danger. Kinda like a therapist. Confidential until someone might die."

"That's a good way to be. No one likes a snitch." He said making me laugh.

"Dude aren't you cold?"

"No I'm fine."

"But you're just wearing that flimsy jacket. It can't be very warm."

"I promise you I am perfectly comfortable."

We walked around for a while longer talking about hockey mostly before we split ways to head home. As I was going down the steps to the subway I could've sworn I'd seen Auston glaring from across the road. I shook the thought, that would be crazy. I couldn't get past the feeling of being watched though so I made sure to lock up the windows and doors, even checking them twice before going to bed.

#toronto maple leafs #william nylander #william nylander x reader #leafs #maple leaf imagine #maple leafs #mitch marner #auston matthews #kasperi kapanen #morgan rielly #vampire #halloween

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