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#i love being enigmatic
a-mongooose · 1 year
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HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
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genericpuff · 6 months
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And with that, 2000 years of history and 10+ years of an animated adaption later, Attack on Titan is over.
I wasn't planning on making an essay post about this but like all of my essay posts, it got crazy out of hand, so here we are. I have a lot to say on it and the more I wrote, the more I realized exactly what the Attack on Titan finale was about. It's cathartic. It's also kind of a big shitpost but not for the reasons you might think.
Spoilers for the Attack on Titan finale ahead! CW: DISCUSSION OF WAR AND GENOCIDE AHEAD!
Now for anyone who knows what I'm about to talk about (and anyone who follows my stuff here), I'm sure you're wondering , what side do I fall on in regards to Attack on Titan's ending? Am I about to talk shit about it? It's very divisive and somewhat inconclusive. It followed the exact ending in the manga which, while expected, was still disappointing to many who had hoped the anime would take some other path.
But I have to ask, could there have been any other way?
Eren committed mass genocide, bordering on extinction of the entire human race. There was no way that he was gonna come out of it redeemed or as a hero, and he knew it. He went straight up Walter White core here and like Walter White, he is not a hero.
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The fact that the Marlayans have been constantly going to war with other countries using Eldians as their personal soldiers goes to show that for countries that seek out conquest, there's no target too small or insignificant that can't be marked as an "enemy", and we see that reflected in Eren as well, in his pursuing of "freedom", an ever-moving goalpost that can never truly be satisfied.
The Jaegerists were hellbent on creating a new empire on the bloodshed of Marley - 'an eye for an eye', so to speak.
Nothing was ever going to truly satisfy either 'side' in the conflict of humanity vs. Eldians because such conflicts' origins have been obfuscated in hundreds of years of history, propaganda, and generational trauma that has repeated itself for so long that many don't even know what they're fighting for anymore, aside from one thing - that they don't want to suffer, that they shouldn't have to suffer for the actions of their ancestors, that they want peace and happiness but don't know where to start with taking the first step.
I think people are disappointed in this ending because, let's face it, it's anime, and it's an anime adaption that took years to finish. We always want to see some kind of vindication from stories like these, but I think in having vindication, it ultimately removes the point altogether of what's being said.
As much as we may try to fight it, try to deny it, the course of human history travels in a circle. Conflict will always arise. History is written by the victors, and those victors will be seen as heroes by whichever side they're fighting for regardless of what heinous acts they may have committed to justify their salvation. And after all of that conflict, regardless of the result - time goes on, and new conflicts arise.
But I don't think that means we have to succumb to grief and suffering and that's a point that I'm seeing missed in a lot of the discussion around the finale. There's a very powerful scene between Armin and Zeke, in which Armin talks about how he was born to run up the hill with Mikasa and Eren. He recognizes fully that if his life isn't meant to be long, he can still cherish those small moments that he thinks back on fondly, the moments that defined his life with the people he cared about.
And that's really all life is. Small moments and experiences that stick with us until the end. The very act of being born in and of itself is a cosmic miracle that gives us the chance to experience things that bring us joy and stay with us forever - however short or long that 'forever' may be. We take these small moments for granted when we're comfortable, but we look for them the most when we're suffering.
If I can relate all this to another piece of media that says the same thing - albeit with a much brighter ending - FF XIV: Endwalker also asks a similar question to Attack on Titan - is the only meaning in life to suffer and die? Of course, by its end, we learn that while death and suffering is an inevitable part of life - not something that should be avoided - it shouldn't persuade us to give in to fear and despair as a constant state of being. And I think Attack on Titan goes for a very similar approach, albeit slightly more as a cautionary tale - a nihilistic reminder that ultimately, the losses and victories we find in our current point of history are still just that, a single point, a blip that will be forgotten until it's ultimately repeated, and there's no escaping that.
It cautions us that freedom cannot exist without constant vigilance for war and conflict. It cautions us that our values and core beliefs for attaining freedom, love and happiness can be twisted into a weapon to cause harm, vindication gained at the cost of another. It cautions us that when left in the wrong hands, power can and will be abused by the ignorant while propagandizing itself as "the greater good".
So why not just find the joy that we can? The friendships, the little moments, the things that bring us happiness even if only temporary. Conflict is inevitable, suffering is inevitable, but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living. "Happiness" is not a tangible end point - it's the side effect of living a meaningful life that's true to yourself.
Attack on Titan is over. Some will argue the ending was the only way, others will argue that there could have been another way and that the anime adaption had the chance to change it but still didn't for reasons beyond their comprehension.
But isn't that the whole point? We'll argue. We'll bargain. Many of the arguments made will reinforce our own beliefs further rather than sway us. Many of us will insist there had to be another way, just as Armin insisted that this couldn't have been the only way, that humanity must have had another option. Meanwhile, many of us will acknowledge that at the end of the day, this is the story Isayama wanted to tell, and regardless of whether or not it makes him an idiot toying with his audience and admitting defeat by lampshading it in the penultimate scene of Eren admitting to his own idiocy, this was the power given to him and he used it in the best way he knew how.
Much like in any conflict, there's one thing that unites both sides - the human need for joy, connection, and freedom.
We might not agree on how Attack on Titan ended, but we can agree that it was a hell of a ride, and I hope we can all agree that it was worth riding, even if it wasn't satisfying for everyone in the end. It brought many people together regardless of their backgrounds, experiences, and differences, and connected them through something they all loved for over ten years. And despite how big a part of our lives it was, life will still go on, and we'll move on to other things to watch, enjoy, and argue over. Isayama will move on to whatever awaits him next, knowing fully well that his choice was his own, that he created the series he wanted to create regardless of how people feel about it. We'll all look for our own forms of joy and happiness as life moves on around us, as conflicts come and go.
Isn't that really what freedom is at the end of the day?
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boxofthings · 1 year
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Honestly feel like the only other person that can match Ghost's level of cryptid energy would be Roach.
He just looks like the most unsuspecting lil dude with his basic ass military uniform, but deep down he is an incomprehensible being made entirely of feral impulses
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dammarchy211 · 2 years
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Older au! This round, the college fucks. Dart, Bobby, Benny, maybe like one or two other campers, and my oc K.C. who I haven’t talked about At All all go to the same state or community college!
Aaaand a little (now belated lol) birthday gift to @quigley-yy !!!!!!!
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Our Razes together per requested 😎 I had a lot of fun drawing this! They r soso funny cool to me. I might color this later or smth just for fun tbh
(Okay more au stuff mostly Dart stuff under the cut)
So what I’ve decided w/ Dart for an overall theme is that there IS gonna be a foil with Raz, except instead of it being like good and evil it’s more like, powerful kid psychic origins trying to chase “adventure” and psychic endeavors v.s. It following them no matter how far you run from it, y’know? Dart is (trying to be) a normal college student lmaooo.
As for backstory I wanted something like, sci-fi-ly fucked up, so like clone of a dead (probably evil) person or some sort of fucked up reanimated as a baby type creature. I’d say maybe a mix of both but then I’d just be making Owl House Grimwalker 2 gjjfkfhfj
Dart, and by association Bobby n Benny, aren’t like Main Characters in the au, but probably would be prreetty plot relevant. As for Bobby n Benny themselves, they are the college dumbasses, I feel like their images are pretty self explanatory, and I’ll talk more about K.C. in an actual post about her lol
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dykefever · 1 year
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currently reading the secret history and like almost a quarter in…. does it …. pick up?
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azems-familiar · 2 years
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Vyl Kivan
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(unfortunately i only have screenshots of him in the consular playthrough i made for him, so we have none of his outfits when he's in the Empire. whoops.)
Vyl is the youngest of the start a war cast, being only seventeen when the class stories begin. a household slave to a Sith Lord whose son is Force-blind, Vyl is sent to Korriban in the boy's stead and told to become a proper heir for the family, his freedom contingent on his success among the Sith. a very young, but very powerful person with the rare gift of Force empathy, Vyl is an innately Light person and struggles with what becoming Sith means, especially as he's picked up by Darth Baras to be used as yet another tool in the Sith's arsenal. he spends much of his story struggling with morality and philosophy and what sacrifices are acceptable to make for freedom, and juggling his desire to run from the Empire and join the Jedi with the ingrained belief that the things he's done in Baras' service have left him unworthy of the peace that defecting would bring him.
by the time he faces down Baras and stops the coup, Vyl has settled into his role as a tool once again, this time of Vitiate and the Hand, but though he accepts the position, he refuses to sacrifice his own morality and beliefs for what others expect from him. he rejects an attempt to recruit him to the Jedi on Ilum, mostly once again out of his constant internal struggle, though he leaves the planet with a young padawan attached to his hip. when he's deputized by the Dark Council to join his friend and unofficial second-in-command of the sphere of Defense, Rheja na'Korriz, on an invasion of the Jedi homeworld of Tython, however, he can no longer continue arguing with himself. he meets Master Orgus Din there once again, as well as master healer Riali Enaran, and this time ends up accepting the offer to become part of the Order and finally free himself from the Empire and the Sith.
a natural-born consular, Vyl studies Force healing and other mental arts while with the Jedi, and when Zakuul attacks he puts his experiences to good use by fighting in the war. unfortunately, the Republic loses, and Vyl ends up following his long-term partner, Theron Shan, and becoming one of the founding members of the Eternal Alliance. he's a part of the Jedi enclave on Odessen, a member of Alliance High Command, and a well-known Jedi master.
he's also trans :)
reference sheet done by moonlitalien
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aquarian-airhead · 2 months
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I mean personally I think it's grimly hilarious that one of the animes I watched (and rewatched) at age 12 was Loveless
#Wouldn't wish this upon any other 12 year old because woww that was not suitable for children that stuff right there.#Though I would've been the same wild weirdo kid I ended up becoming even if I hadn't seen it anyway#pretty sure I know myself well enough to say so with my chest#it's just. In the 2000s access to age appropriately curated anime experience was not a thing lmao.#SO I just went ahead and found online the wildest shit I could based on what I was curious about#And I was curious about the Homo. There was no reasonable information on this enigmatic Homo thing back then locally I can assure you.#I was also curious about the Love & Sex in General™#It's kind of horrible how many other animes that I feel nostalgia for were in fact made for the consumption of grown men#(yuri or harem anime made for men)#As messed up as the fiction I consumed got... I don't think it made anything worse for me. Any bad shit that followed was more of a direct-#-result of being an ostracized and undiagnosed neurodivergent trying to navigate the absolute minefield that was...actual predators-#-looking for vulnerable targets. And like I said. Love and sexuality in general. That shit gets doubly hard if you're a lonely youth-#-with this gaping need at your core. Quadruply so if you're even more impulsive and reactive than the average teen already is.#Yup. Still think censorship is not the answer.#Censorship would not have protected me.#Education and safer authority figures would've.#Still stands that I find it morbidly humorous that I get nostalgia for all kinds of weirdo media#Baby self looked at Loveless and Elfen Lied and read secy goth manga and was like 'hmm yes this is very DEEP *pushes glasses*'
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iridescentblued · 13 days
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꒰୨୧꒱ — 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 !
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꒰୨୧꒱ — 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: geto x afab!reader
꒰୨୧꒱ — 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 && 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: nsfw / 18+, minors and ageless blogs dni! geto is a college algebra math tutor && reader is failing, written in lapslock, geto is a tinie, TINIE bit of a perv (but we love him), not beta’d in any shape or form so please excuse mistakes, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, folks), piv, oral (f!receiving), use of pet names (kitten, angel, sweetheart), praise, reader calls geto ‘senpai’ until she doesn’t, size kink. wc; 8.5k
꒰୨୧꒱ — 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒔. . .  this is my first fic on this blog and also my first jjk fic in my entire life so please go easy on me aha i tried to keep it relatively tame, but based on my plans for the future, this will not be a trend sjfigjsfgj. reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated! ♡
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there wasn’t anything special about your case; at least, that’s what suguru had thought when he picked up your request before he met you. before he met you, you were just another student trying to demystify the painfully enigmatic art of getting through college algebra. before he met you, he had already tagged this case as another charity stint — a good way to get brownie points with the dean’s office and the mathematics and natural sciences department. in fact, thinking of all his tutoring cases as community service made them somewhat palatable, if not a little forgettable. he was quite sure, at the time, that you’d be in and out — both of the tutoring center and his memory. such was the case with most of his other tutees, anyway. 
he hadn’t expected you to be… well, you — a pretty little thing, with your sweet smile and your wide doe eyes. on the first day, you’d stood out; you’d arrived at the tutoring center’s lobby in a short dress, knit cardigan, and coquettish makeup, as if every fiber of your being were bidding the spring a solid farewell. multiple heads had turned, including his, as you came up to the front desk and asked for one geto suguru for college algebra. you were eager for summer, suguru had learned as you broke the ice little by little, in part because you looked forward to visiting okinawa with your family, but also because you were eager to get your first semester out of the way. that much, you had in common with most of his other students — almost all of the ones seeking help in college algebra only took it as a depressing core requirement of whatever degree they were doing. you, specifically, were focusing on fashion design; that very vividly explained your attention to your looks. this mathematics class was a thorn in your side, a mandatory thing that was simply supposed to get you through later business-oriented classes in your degree program. for suguru, however, college algebra had become the perfect excuse from the moment he’d laid eyes on you. 
the more time he spends with you, the more he thinks you’re exactly his taste. it starts off with little things he finds attractive, things he picks up while he’s watching you fill out the practice sheets he’s prepared for you on quadratic equations or while trying to get you to understand logarithms — your neat, tiny handwriting, almost like print; your habit of boxing your final answers in firm strokes, even if they’re hopelessly wrong; your colored tabs, cascading down the page side of your textbook. but as the weeks wear on, he sees all the little things in between — the way your long eyelashes quiver when you stop and close your eyes as you think for the answer, the upturn of your plush lips when you have the same answer on the practice sheet as he does, the deepening of your artificial blush with a natural hue when you realize you don’t know the answers to his gentle questions. he notices that you refuse to wear anything longer than a knee-length skirt despite the still-strong winds, notices that your tiny palms are always smooth and pink, that your hair always smells of coconut milk. these are things he can’t help but jot down in his memory — that was exactly what you were, after all: memorable. 
and the more he remembers about you, the more suguru wants you. yet he’s never made a move, never given so much as a hint of his interest, not only because there are prying eyes all around the building but also because you have never so much as shown a smidge of desire back. in fact, he has to wonder if you’ve ever thought of him in a different capacity — not as a tutor, but as a man. if you have, you’ve never made that obvious; you always talk to him respectfully, the little wall you’ve erected between the both of you remaining steady, and you never let your eyes linger on his face for longer than it takes for him to explain what you don’t know. suguru has had his fair share of female students, and in all of them, he’s seen the same kind of hunger — to few, he’s catered to their whims, if only to pass the time, if only for his own benefit. but you, with your ribbons in your hair and your sweet, sweet mouth, have never once shown that same kind of desire. 
he doesn’t know if it frustrates him, but he does know one thing — it makes him want you all the more. 
he wants you even now, as you sit across from him, dolled up as usual. even now, as your eyes take on a glassy sheen of defeat, your cheeks puffing out in the way that tells him you’re admonishing yourself once again, he craves you — maddeningly so. and he realizes that it doesn’t really matter if you're not the one to fall first, as long as he can still have you. 
“time out,” you beg, your fingers meeting the palm of your hand to signal a break. “my brain feels like it’s going to explode.”
“you just had a break ten minutes ago,” suguru reminds you, though there’s a lighthearted amusement to his voice that makes you smile sheepishly. “at this rate, you’ll be on more breaks than you’ll be taking the time to actually learn.”
“i’m trying,” you groan, your fingers curling against your forehead as you bump your head against your fist. “i just don’t think i’m cut out for this polynomial whatever — trial and error bullshit.” 
“you’ll hate me for saying this — but you’ll never know unless you keep trying.” 
“funny.” your sigh rustles the papers in front of you gently. “how do you do it, senpai?”
“hm?” 
“you’re not only good at this stuff, but you’re so good you’re able to take the time to teach people like me.” 
“strengths and weaknesses — it’s the natural way of the world.” suguru smiles gently at you, and he notes how his chest feels tighter when you return the sentiment shyly. “i could never do what you’re doing in your own degree, try as i might. anyway, you’ll get there. i won’t let you become my first ever failed project, you know.”
“i wouldn’t want to let you down either, senpai, but—” the back end of your pencil taps lightly against the surface of the table. “it just feels hopeless. i can’t focus on anything. it’s so… so abstract, and everyone here is talking all at once, and i don’t even know what i’m ever going to get out of this class in the long run.” 
even when you’re dejected, you look pretty; your bottom lip juts out naturally when you whine like this, and for a moment, suguru can’t say anything in response. he’s too busy wondering what your mouth would feel like on his — on him. when he snaps himself out of his brief reverie, he notices you’re looking around at everyone else — and he has to agree that with the noise level in this whole building, it isn’t the most conducive site for learning, especially when the learner is already so averse to the subject matter.
“i can’t help much in the way of it being too abstract,” he says kindly. “but it’s not a requirement for us to have our sessions here. i know it can be quite distracting, all these voices flying around, so why don’t you look for a place that better suits you, and we can start meeting there instead? the more comfortable you are in your environment, the better you’ll be able to absorb the material, i’m sure.” 
“you think?” your pencil comes to a slow halt as you refocus on him, a thoughtful light glimmering behind your gaze. “yeah — yeah, i actually wouldn’t mind that. then, i’ll look for a different place for us to meet, and we can start there next week. how does that sound?”
“whatever suits you suits me,” he responds easily. 
he lowers his gaze immediately after you flash him a blinding grin; there are far too many people here, as you both very well know, and if he keeps looking at you and your pretty little expressions any longer, he might just give them something to actually look at. 
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it had been your idea, not his, so why did suguru feel like he’d dragged you into a compromising situation?
you’d texted him over the weekend that your search for a new venue had been absolutely fruitless; every cafe and study space you’d been to was either too expensive or equally as packed with people, if not both. suguru had seen the preview to your message, but he hadn’t been prepared for what it read out in full when he’d actually opened it.
senpai, would it be too difficult to just meet at my apartment? i attached a map, so let me know!
it wouldn’t be too difficult; logistics-wise, it was walking distance from campus and almost directly across the train station he takes home. it also definitely promised an environment you were comfortable in, and you wouldn’t have to worry about excess noise from any other tutoring groups. no, the difficulty really only lied in himself — you two, all alone, would certainly mean his mind would be up to no good for the two hours every monday, wednesday, and thursday you would be together.
but for your sake, he’d try to rein it in, with the operative word being try.
your place is as neat and as pretty as you are; he doesn’t know if you’ve cleaned up for him, or if you’re naturally this organized, but he likes it all the same. it smells of toasted marshmallow and expensive perfume, and all your furniture matches. suguru supposes he likes that in a woman — someone able to care for herself, someone who cares about herself. and you’re always just as neat and pretty to match, with your hair always styled sweetly, your makeup always enhancing your features.
the problem is that now that he’s in here, where you live, and where you spend most of your time, suguru’s mind seems to wander too much towards thoughts about what you do in private. he rejects studying on the couch, not just because it’s bad for posture and concentration but also because he can’t help but imagine you pressed into the cushions by his hand. he suggests the small dining table you have, but on the second meeting at your place, he starts thinking about what you might look like seated on the table, your ass hanging over the edge and his face buried between your thighs. whenever you look up to ask him something, he drinks in your lovely, made-up face again, and starts wondering what your makeup would look like ruined before he interrupts that trainwreck of a thought with the answer to your question.
by the end of the week, suguru’s defenses are all but shot, and he realizes that this situation might be optimal for you, but it definitely isn’t doing him and his now constantly straining cock any great favors.
he supposes that your performance has somewhat improved; you’re less likely to trail off when you’re thinking and can actually do practice sets for a lot longer without all the noise and hubbub around you. your only real hindrance is yourself and your frustration; you have a habit of giving into your carelessness that sends you spiraling into despair, and it doesn’t help that when you press your cheek against the surface of your dining table and whine, the comfort suguru offers is noticeably delayed because he’s too busy thinking about his cock between your lips.
“my dad’s going to kill me if i fail this midterm,” you grumble, stabbing the practice sheet with your pencil; it skids sideways, and suguru robotically fixes it back into proper alignment for you, careful not to brush against the arm that’s folded inwards, supporting your chin. “he only agreed to let me take this degree because of the business aspect of it. as if i’ll need to know about—” you check the header of the worksheet. “domain and range when i’m doing actual design work.”
“you’ll never know what might be useful later on in life. i definitely thought this was nonsense back in high school — and then i got this job.”
“and now you’re rolling in dough?” you smile slightly. suguru chuckles.
“i’m a long way away from having myself a scrooge mcduck golden pool, but i make enough to get by very comfortably, thanks to this.”
“thanks to me, you mean.”
“you’re not my only student,” he snorts, pinching your elbow; you cry out exaggeratedly. “focus up. the hour’s almost over, and you should have finished with this much earlier.”
“can you leave it as homework?”
“not a chance.”
you blow out a sharp puff of air. “my mom used to do this thing where she’d give me rewards if i did well with my homework. i wish i’d still get something out of this.”
“what kind of rewards did she give you?”
“chocolates — candy, or sometimes we’d go out for milk tea together, if i did a particularly good job.”
“this is math tutoring, not a trip to the dentist,” suguru says, amused.
“a trip to the dentist would be more enjoyable,” you mutter under your breath, picking up your pencil and doodling an angry face next to the number you’re only halfway through solving. “this totally blows.”
“try to finish this before the hour’s up, and i’ll see if i can get you something nice. out of my own paycheck,” he stresses, prodding at your cheek to shift your attention back to the paper. he doesn’t miss the fact that your eyes light up, childish as the promise is.
he doesn’t know if that’s really what motivates you, but you do manage to finish the worksheet with a few minutes to spare before the clock hits seven, and that earns you some light, solo applause. it isn’t much by way of true praise, but you flush with pride all the same. suguru packs his things in silence as you get yourself a glass of water, and you see him to the door. only there does he notice your eager eyes, your expectant smile.
“what’s going through that pretty little head of yours?”
“are you really going to give me a reward? i did great today, you know,” you respond bluntly.
“you were serious about that?” he laughs.
“absolutely. i earned it.” you raise a slim finger, wagging it in his face. he trails it with his gaze, no shortage of amusement in his eyes. “next monday, i want something sweet.”
suguru takes in the sight of you, keeping your door open with your hip; he wonders if you know what you’re doing to him, what you’re asking of him — if you even know there’s nothing that could possibly be sweeter than you at this very moment. he drinks in the sight of your feigned haughty expression on your pretty features, the unnervingly low dip of your tank top, the tempting hemline of your shorts, and feels like you must be aware of what he’s going to do next.
“if it’s something sweet you want, you don’t have to wait until next week.”
he does it before he can think it through — surely, there’s nothing too harmful about a quick kiss? he angles your chin upward with his thumb and forefinger before you can even react to his words, and he tastes you like that for the first time. you’re just as soft and as sweet as he’d imagined, if not more so.
when suguru pulls away, you step back; there’s shock written all over your face, your mouth still hanging open slightly. your voice is gentle, shaky when you start speaking.
“senpai, wha—”
“see you next week. rest up over the weekend, or there’ll be consequences.”
he finds it easy to joke with you now, even after what he’s done — finds it easy to wave goodbye with nonchalance as he walks to the elevator, now that he’s gotten one thing out of his system. the look on your face, the growing blush across the bridge of your nose and your temples is indication enough for suguru to feel confident — if you hadn’t thought about him that way before, you were sure to spend the next few days doing exactly that.
it’s exactly a week before your midterm exam, and suguru notices you’re less than focused.
he’d let you stew over the weekend, not expecting much by way of communication; indeed, his phone hadn’t once been jostled by your texts. he’d taken that silence to assume that you’d been wrapped up in thoughts of the kiss he’d left you with, and you did not disappoint on that front; the next monday saw you fidgety, flushed, and constantly faltering in your words. you asked less questions, which normally indicated a problem, but today, he’d let it slide; you definitely had a little too much on that pretty little brain of yours.
he notices you’re still dolled up — your eyelids are shimmery, and your lips are glossy; you’re wearing a tennis skirt that hits all the right buttons for him, too. it’s true that you’re always pretty well-dressed and put together, but today somehow feels different. if before, suguru had always seen you dressed up simply to look good, today it feels a little more like you’re dressed up to look good for him. he knows it’s a little bit egotistical to assume as much, but he also doesn’t miss the side glances you throw at him when you think he’s not looking at you answering your textbook or the way your cheeks glow when you make the slightest bit of eye contact.
still, you try to focus as much as you can; it’s adorable, in fact, to see all your valiant efforts to appear unperturbed. he figures he’ll play along for as long as you will — what matters to him, after all, is that you’re in the game to begin with. you complain less today, focus on your worksheets, and suguru even manages to witness the sight of your forehead creasing up as you concentrate on a particularly difficult item. you’re adorable, in the kind of way that makes him want to pin you down and have his way with you.
you finish your work without a fuss today; you only actually asked for his help twice, which was a feat in and of itself. and again, when the session is over, you walk him to the door.
this time, when you linger, he waits; you’re clearly not good at hiding your true intentions, as it’s become clear you have something you want to say. as you try to piece your thoughts together, suguru reaches into his backpack’s front pocket and extracts today’s gift — an actual chocolate bar, albeit a rather run of the mill one.
“what’s this?” you ask, your thought process clearly derailed as confusion takes over your features.
“your reward. for a good job last week and today — you said you wanted one, didn’t you?”
“but i thought—” you stop yourself, your mouth opening and closing, suddenly wordless. suguru grins.
“not good enough? i picked that up from a convenience store on my way here, so it definitely isn’t anything special, but i thought it would at least be a good motivator.”
you’re turning red, and there’s turmoil in your eyes — he enjoys this, he realizes, the way he flusters you. if he had known this would be the result, he would have made a move much sooner. you shift your weight from one foot to the other, back and forth, obviously weighing out your options too. finally, you say, “alright.”
“you seem disappointed.”
“i’m not.”
“i’ll get you a better brand next time, if you really don’t like it.”
“it’s not that.”
“so what is it?” he doesn’t expect you to say it, and you don’t defy expectations; your bottom lip just quivers, and suguru chuckles low under his breath, stepping forward just past your doorway, just a little bit closer to you. “don’t tell me you wanted something completely different?”
you don’t say so, but he knows; he can tell by the way you tilt your head back, the way your lips part slightly, the gloss still trailing along the seam. he can tell by the way your torso arches just a little bit closer, almost like an accident. he can tell by the way your eyes bore into his, almost pleading.
“what you did last week…” you start, but your voice trails off into nothing soon after. he chuckles again.
“ah, that. i might have gotten ahead of myself.”
“was that all?” you press.
“and what would you do, if it wasn’t?”
“well — do you always like to play games?”
“i have a penchant for playing with my food before i eat it, if that answers your question.” he smiles down at your still-reddening face. “i was giving you a reward, as you wanted. i came up short on options then and there. you’ll let it slide this once, won’t you?”
“you did that just because i did well last week?”
“of course.”
“well, i did well today, too.”
“you did, and that’s why you have this.” he gestures to the chocolate bar in your hand.
“i don’t want this.” your voice is stubborn now, heated and frustrated, and you stuff the chocolate back into his hand. you must not like having to ask for something so blatantly — it’s too bad suguru wants to hear it in those exact words.
“tell me what you really want, then.”
you’re still unable to find the words, but your hands do the talking for you; they press into his shoulders and give you leverage to tiptoe until you’re just close enough to his lips. but you don’t close that gap, your mouth quivering only inches away from his, and oh, suguru wants to toy with you, but you’re just too irresistible this close to him. his warm palms press against your jaw, keeping your face steady as he closes the gap, and this time, he doesn’t just get a brief taste of you — suguru claims your lips with the thirst of a man who’s stumbled upon an oasis in the desert.
you must have thought about this moment long and hard over the weekend, because the nonchalant side of you that’s turned a blind eye to him is completely gone; he drinks in your soft noises and short, breathless gasps — all signs of your eagerness — until he’s drunk on the taste of you. the deeper the kiss gets, the less you can keep up, but you try, and suguru always likes rewarding your efforts, his wide tongue taut and flush against your tiny one in the sweet, warm cavern of your mouth. he licks every inch of it, leaves the mild nicotine taste of himself there, before he pulls away slowly. your eyes are still closed when he creates distance, fluttering open in a happy haze a few seconds later.
“good enough for you?” he murmurs, tucking a soft lock of hair behind your ear. you hum in assent through your dazed smile, and suguru knows he won’t be the only one looking forward to this coming wednesday.
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you’d done really well today.
suguru’s proud of you — prouder than he’s been of most of his students in his career here at the university, actually. you’d finally answered a worksheet almost perfectly, save for a couple of numbers where you’d forgotten to round up, and those things are absolutely negligible at this point (by his books, anyway). you’ve been on your best behavior yet, avoiding all forms of complaint, and he knows fully well why, but he won’t criticize you for your hard work all the same, no matter the motivation behind it.
in fact, you’ve done so good that he doesn’t wait until he’s about to leave to give you your sweet reward — which is why, twenty minutes before he’s meant to go, he’s got you on your couch, your legs spread, each one hooked over his shoulders.
truth be told, you’d been good way before the lesson had started; you’d answered the door in a crop top and the tiniest pair of shorts you’ve dared to wear yet — all clothes that you couldn’t yet wear outside yet, given the weather. selfishly, suguru is thankful for this fact, and if he had to list down other things he’s thankful for, just off the top of his head, it’s that you no longer meet in the tutoring center and that your apartment’s walls seem thick and well-reinforced.
“senpai, don’t tease me.” your silly little whining voice makes its first appearance of the day, but all suguru does is smile — it’s an almost wicked expression, set firmly between your thighs. “you said i did really well today. don’t tell me you’re backing out on rewarding me?”
“not at all, sweetheart,” he hums, pressing a small kiss to your inner thigh. he likes seeing you shiver at the contact, likes the way you’re chewing on your lip in what appears to be slight agitation. “just thinking of how much of a reward you deserve.”
in all honesty, suguru would like to take every bit of you now; you’re already so ready for him, anyway. he can smell the faint perfume of your arousal, can see the way you’re anticipating the most from him, and a part of him doesn’t want to deny you of that. the larger part of him has dreamed of burying his cock into you, anyway, and why wouldn’t he do that? but something also tells him to wait — or, rather, to make you wait, to make you want him just a little more.
and so, he decides.
his mouth finds your skin again, pressing kisses up your thigh; they get wetter, hotter as his mouth moves up, until his nose and lips are buried against your clothed core. you squirm in response, but his grip on your thighs keeps you relatively steady, even as his tongue presses against thin fabric. the wet muscle pushes sharp against your tiny entrance, the tip meeting slight resistance against your shorts and panties, but he finds a way, burying half his tongue in alongside damp cloth.
you’re already wet like this, and so needy that it might be possible for suguru to get you off just like this, still clothed, but the hunger in him spikes once you call out to him.
“senpai, please…”
with a groan, his fingers yank the fabric aside, exposing your pussy to the warmth of his breathing. it’s as pink, as pretty, as tiny as the rest of you, as fuckable as he’d imagined it would be, and he wastes no time in pressing his tongue flat against your folds, dragging it up in a wide, messy stripe; the muscle only tenses when it bumps against your clit, his tongue flicking upwards to tease it.
you’re so reactive, even at the slightest things — you whimper, you squeeze your eyes shut, you squirm. you’re begging to be fucked, and suguru’s cock is strained tight against his jeans, but your taste is so addicting that he can’t help but dive back in. his tongue eases between your folds now, spreading them apart until they’re lewd and sticky with his saliva, and the nub of your clit has grown so pronounced now — so pert and lovely that he can’t help but purse his lips around it and suck with excess force.
“senpai — f—fuck,” you mewl; you almost sound tearful. “f—feels so good…”
suguru wants to tell you how fucking good you taste, how beautiful the sounds you’re making are, but his mouth is too busy; his teeth rake down your cunt lightly, earning him a jerk of your hips, and he has to place pressure down on your thighs again to make sure you’re still enough for him to slip his tongue into your cunt.
he can tell even just by that how tight you’d be around him; your walls are warm around his tongue, and there’s a pressure against the muscle that tells him how good it’d feel for his cock to take its place. as if to simulate his desires, he presses his tongue deeper in, fucks you shallowly with its wetness until your whimpers become little sobs, broken and choked back. his thumb drags across your slit then settles against your clit, and he can feel the thrum of your pulse against the pad of his finger, beckoning him. he complies, easily, thumb tracing circles around the nub that start off slow, only for him to ramp up the pace alongside his tongue.
you’re easily at fault for that; the way you whine for him, call him senpai, tell him how good it feels over and over — why wouldn’t he want more of you?
he’s not sure which of you really earns the sweet reward today; you cum on his tongue, your cunt trembling against his mouth and your fingers threaded into his hair, but he’s the one who comes out licking his lips like he’s had the best treat of his damn life.
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come the middle of next week, suguru finds himself face to face with a test paper — one already clearly marked, with a number circled on the top-right corner. ninety. a stellar grade for anyone, and especially for you. 
you know it, and you look absolutely triumphant; you’re practically shining as you perch on your little dining table, your perfectly manicured finger jabbing at the score in emphasis. 
“flying colors, wouldn’t you say?” 
“color me impressed,” suguru replies smoothly, a genuine smile of pride tugging at his lips; he turns the page over, scanning your responses. you still draw your parabolas a little on the small side, making them a bit difficult to discern, and you’ve still got the habit of not rounding your answers up, but this is tremendous work, and he’ll be the first to praise you for it. “your dad must be filled to the brim with joy now, right?”
“i haven’t told him yet. you were the first.”
“well, i’m proud of you, sweetheart.” 
“proud enough to give me a reward?” 
he looks down at you in feigned thoughtfulness. here you sit, back in your little tennis skirt, looking up at him with hopeful eyes under those long, curled lashes. for someone who spent the first half of this semester acting ostensibly nonchalant, you’d very easily shown your true colors soon after — not that he really minds. in fact, he’s taken a decided kind of liking to how eager and willing you’ve come to be. 
“we’ve only just started our session, though,” he hums out, an idle thumb grazing his chin as he watches your expression turn from bright to cloudy, the beginnings of strategy darkening your gaze. it’s not like he wants to say no; he has no real intention to. but seeing you squirm in want makes him feel good about his decision to hold out a little longer — never mind the ache in his cock even then. “don’t we usually leave the rewards for a later time?” 
“i was thinking — since it’s the start of a new lesson —” 
“we wouldn’t want you falling behind from the start, would we?”
“i promise i won’t,” you pout. “i promise i’ll put in my best effort next time.” 
“next time? sweetheart, don’t tell me you’re thinking to get off scot-free today…” suguru trails off, his hand falling to the nearest surface it can reach — which, logic seems to dictate, is your soft, milky thigh. he feels you tense under his palm, and he bites back a smile, keeping his expression level. “i just don’t know.”
your small hands grip at the front of his shirt, and he hears you, for the first time, doing something he’s always wanted to hear you do. 
“please, senpai?”
how could he say no to you? he hadn’t really planned on it, had only wanted to see you do this, but it’s still too much and beyond his expectation — your misty gaze, your quivering lip. it’s almost laughable that you don’t think he’d notice the way you shift yourself so that his hand, still warm against your thigh, slides up your skin, the hem of your skirt bunched up in the junction between his thumb and forefinger.
suguru chuckles — isn’t this exactly where and how he’s always wanted you? “how could you ask me like that and expect me to refuse, angel? in that case, i have no real choice but to dedicate all our time today to your reward.” 
your breathing hitches — in anticipation, in desire, in excitement — as his hand continues its trail upward, deliberately now, fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties. his head dips down, rests into the crook of your neck, and he inhales the thick, sweet scent of your perfume, your shampoo, of you and all that he’ll take from you. 
“just remember, you asked for this,” he murmurs against your skin. “so i’m going to take every bit of you until there’s nothing left for anyone else.” 
you’re so willing, so ready even before he can get his full bearings; your hips are rising slightly off the table, and suguru feels like it’s you that’s telling him to move faster. he tugs down your panties, letting gravity take its course until they’re a tiny puddle of fabric on the floor, and he slots himself between your legs. like this, you have no choice but to spread, and you do so without hesitation, your knees locking against his sides as he pulls you in for a tight, hungry kiss. there’s that taste of you he loves, that clean, sweet buzz that draws him in, and his hands are bruisingly tight on your waist as he reclaims your lips. 
you already look dazed when he pulls away, which is always cute, but a little unfair — suguru wants you to be aware still when he takes you, and damn, if he doesn’t want to take you right fucking now. he kisses you again, harder and more demanding, as if willing your attention back to him, while his hands explore you — run up your thighs, fingers brushing against the plush curve of your ass. it’s not enough, not by a long shot, and he’s pushing the waistline of your skirt up your stomach with his hands, letting his warmth transfer onto your skin; he chuckles as your stomach sucks inward at his touch, just as you let out a gasp against his lips.
and he wants desperately to hear that noise again; in fact, he wants to know what you sound like in every capacity. his mouth works down your neck, pleased to find that suckling wet and languid on a spot just above your collarbone has you writhing and whimpering. are you sensitive or touch-starved? whatever the reason, he wants to draw all of that out of you, his hands drawing back down to hook under your thighs. suguru drags you to the edge of the table, until your bare cunt is flush against the front of his jeans, and he lets you feel him — a brief tease of what’s to come. 
“i’m s—so wet already,” you whisper, as if he doesn’t know — as if you know it’s exactly what he wants to hear anyway. “senpai, please, i need you.”
“not that,” he murmurs, his teeth grazing your collarbone as he speaks. “not senpai. suguru. call me suguru, angel.”
“s—suguru,” you exhale shakily, and it’s music to his ears — as if the last thing holding him back from you had shattered. 
“that’s it — what a good girl,” he purrs, his hips rocking forward against your pussy before they retract, leaving just enough space for his hand to slip between. slender fingers trail down your folds, sticky and slick. “you are all wet for me, aren’t you? ready to take me deep inside?” 
even the way you nod, a tiny movement of assent, drives him wild, yet a part of him still wants to test the limit of your patience, his middle finger stretching to circle your entrance. 
“wouldn’t want to shock your tiny little pussy, though, would i? will you let me stretch you out first, kitten?”
“yes,” you mewl, sounding almost tearful. “anything— anything, please.”
suguru drinks in the long, drawn-out keen you set free when his digit sinks into you; he’s already felt your walls against his tongue, but a small part of him is still surprised at just how tight you are. that same part nags that he might not fit easily into you, but whatever that voice is is easily drowned out by a more assertive promise — he’ll make it fit. 
“can’t tell you how much i’ve wanted to feel your pretty little hole around my cock,” he presses on, his finger pushing deeper in; he feels you tense a delicious kind of tightness, as if it’s almost too much for you. is it? “ever since that first day you came into the tutoring center, dressed up all cute — did you do that on purpose, sweetheart?”
“yes,” you admit, breathless; the syllable is lengthened into a weak moan as suguru pumps his finger into you, slow, deep strokes that tease your tacky walls open. “wanted — wanted to make a good impression…”
“and you did, didn’t you? kept looking so sweet for me, so pretty every single time — got me thinking about all the ways i wanted to have you. got me so fucking hard every time we’d meet — is that what you wanted?”
suguru doesn’t give you much room to respond, but he can make his own answers to appease himself anyway; he reclaims your lips, already eager for another taste of you, and you comply with the same amount of desire, your soft whimpers melting against his teeth. in the space of pseudo silence, wet, messy noises, he manages to tease another digit into you, and you cry out against his lips as it pushes in, joining the first in how deep it reaches. he absorbs that too, takes in every minute sound you make, relishes the way you pulse around his fingers. even without the noises, he can tell your pleasure’s heightening, with the way you clench around him, your hips rocking pitifully as you’re eager to rut against his palm. 
“look at you now.” he’s selfish, but he doesn’t care — he wants to ruin you, and if the telltale squelch of your cunt as he fucks his fingers into it isn’t indication enough, then the way your mouth hangs open as he pulls away, letting his name fall freely from your lips, definitely is. “legs spread, all desperate to feel good for me. what a needy little kitten you are. this good enough for you, angel?”
you shake your head, only to squeal as he pulls you closer, his fingers shoving deeper into you; your hips are re-angled, allowing him to brush the pads of his digits against the rough, sweet spot, and he feels triumph bloom in his chest as you throw your head back, teary eyes squeezed shut.
“no, no, no,” you babble, and he can see the bob of your throat as you swallow hard, clutching at sense to make words. “want — need your cock, want to cum on your cock so badly, suguru — want you to fuck me, stretch me open, please —”
“greedy, aren’t you?” he murmurs, leaning in to nip at the spot he’d left reddened above your collarbone. “go on then — show me how much you want it. show me what a good girl you are, and cum on my fingers.” 
“but—” 
“come on, angel,” he urges above the squelching noises, increasing surely in volume. his fingers meet resistance when they spread apart inside you, but all it does is create a delicious friction that has you squirming in his hold. “don’t hold back. let me see you fall apart.” 
and you do, so prettily, your eyes rolling back and your voice unrestrained. suguru’s fingers ride you through your orgasm, pumping deep and steady despite how slick you’ve gotten, your juices coating his hand and wrist. he watches the flush rise to your neck, stopping at your cheeks, watches the heaving of your chest, the shine of your skin from a thin sheen of sweat, and he doesn’t want to let you come down from this high, but his cock is aching — practically bursting from his jeans — and all he can do is make the silent vow that the next time you look like this, he’ll be balls deep in you. 
“that’s my girl,” he coos gently, watching the tension slip from your shoulders; his free hand is at the small of your back quickly, easing you down as your torso falls back, and you’re laying on the table. “pretty little thing, aren’t you? cumming so sweetly for me.” 
“suguru,” you groan out weakly, your tiny hand clasping around his wrist. “cock — i want your cock, please—” 
“can’t wait?” he’s indecent for sounding amused, but even that does nothing to stay his arousal; how eager you are simply makes him want you all the more. “okay, angel — since you asked so nicely.” 
a slight twinge of disappointment runs through him as he pulls his fingers out, but it’s quickly buried by the feeling he gets once he gives you a clear sweep of a once-over; how slutty you look, still half-dressed but already half-ruined, your thighs shaking in an effort to keep them open for him, the remnants of your last climax still leaking out of your hole. the sight of you has him so distracted that unbuttoning and unzipping his pants feels like a fever dream of an act; he barely notices what he’s doing until he’s already bare in front of you, and alertness has crawled halfway back into your consciousness as you push yourself up on your elbows to look at him.
“it’s so—” you have the decency to blush, though there’s a pleased look on your face that tells him you’re not really embarrassed. “i didn’t think you’d be this big.” 
“does that worry you?”
“i’ve never had anyone… this big.” pride blooms in his chest — good, he thinks, because if he can’t be as memorable as your first, then he’ll take being the most in something as a prize. “i don’t think — will it fit?”
“does it matter?” he chuckles, and your blush deepens. “no matter what — you’ll take all of me in, won’t you?”
you chew on your bottom lip, as if considering your options, but to suguru, there’s really only one choice — the correct one, and you make it when you nod your head. 
“it’ll feel good, though, you know,” he muses. his hand wrapped around his base, he lines himself up with you, the tip grazing against your folds. “even better than just now.”
with just a little more pressure, he has his shaft flush against you; his girth sits against your slit, the tip pressed against your clit, and he starts to rock his hips — into his fist, against your cunt. your hips quiver, and a shiver runs through you as your pleasure spikes again, but he can tell it isn’t enough. your bottom lip is back between your teeth, and your eyes are flitting between his face and his cock. suguru reaches out, eases your lip out from between your teeth, strokes it gently, almost tenderly. 
“say it,” he commands in a soft, silky voice. 
“fuck me, suguru,” you breathe out, barely missing a beat. “fuck me, fuck my pussy, please.”
and if you ask that desperately, he’ll waste no time; he draws his hips back, dragging his cock down until he’s aligned with your entrance. his eyes are trained on your face, even when he pushes in, so that he can take in your expression — the widening of your eyes as his tip breaches the first wave of resistance, the way your mouth falls agape as his fingers dig hard into your flesh. he’s never seen a prettier sight in his life.
“stretched you out already, but you’re still so fucking tight,” his voice is a soft, melodious croon, a stark contrast to the way he’s forcing past your tightness. “tight and wet, like a good girl.” 
“so big,” you whimper, your fingers stretched far enough to tickle the front of his shirt. “can’t — can’t take it.” 
“of course you can, angel.” suguru doesn’t give you the time to brace yourself fully before he’s rocking his hips in a little more sharply, his cock now halfway into you. your fingers curl into a little fist, immediately flying back to block the noise from your mouth. “ah ah. don’t get shy on me now; you’ve been so noisy for me all this time.”
but he doesn’t really mind the way you clap your palm over your mouth to muffle your high-pitched squeal as he thrusts in fully, the adjustment period after the last movement close to nothing; he’s too busy focusing on how good you feel around him, how warm and wet your insides are. this is heaven, easily, and suguru wants to stay here for as long as he can. 
“god, you’re fucking tight,” he repeats, an appreciatory gaze running over where you’re joined. his thumb stretches over your folds, rubbing them — something of an apology, perhaps, although all it does is stimulate you more, and you shiver at the extra contact. “how deep is it, baby?”
“can feel you here,” you mumble out, your small hand pressing just above your pelvis. he feels the tightness multiply as you place pressure, even just for a moment. “your cock’s so much deeper than anyone else.” 
your hand falls away, limp, as he draws his hips back; you inhale, long and deep, before letting it out as a broken moan when he pushes back in. it drives him crazy, to start off this slow, when all he wants is to find a pace that has you sobbing, but the resistance of your pussy against his length isn’t easy to ignore. suguru works you open, his jaw set and his grip tight against your frame, and it isn’t long before he’s picking up speed, the slap of his flesh against yours fueling him exponentially, mingling with your cries, steadily increasing in volume. 
“that’s it. let everyone hear you,” he eggs on, his thumb now circling tight around your clit; your legs are quivering, threatening to close, but he keeps you steady, one arm wrapped around your thigh. his thrusts grow rougher, more deliberate, and when he looks up from where you’re joined back to your face, he sees your expression as a mixture of incredulity and ecstasy. a thin line of drool hangs from the corner of your mouth, your pretty pink lip gloss smeared, and fuck if he doesn’t want to make sure you look like this every single time he comes over. “let them know who’s fucking you good, angel.”
“su— suguru!” your voice hitches, lilts up as he presses in at a different, deeper angle, and he almost cums right then and there from the way your walls pulse around him. “your cock feels so good, fucking me just right— more, god, more—” 
he complies without hesitation, gathering both your thighs and pushing them closer to your chest; you look even lewder like this, folded in half with your sopping cunt presented to him like it’s all his to take, and it is, isn’t it? there’s an increase in the intensity, the vigor in which he pumps his cock into you, and he knows he’s brushing repeatedly against your spot by the way you’re blubbering his name out in a way that suggests you sincerely think no one else in this building can hear you. 
“that’s my girl,” he hums approvingly, though there’s a thickness in his voice that has him sounding a little more strained. “such a good girl, with your cunt all nice and sloppy for me. do you like it when i go this deep? does it feel good when i fuck you where no one else can?” 
“yes!” you sob out, your hands crumpling the end of your skirt up into tight fists. “suguru, i— cum, i need to cum again, please—”
“i’ve got you, kitten,” his tone is reassuring, a stark contrast to the rigor of his hips. “don’t have to hang on for me, you know; always love seeing you fall apart.” 
“m’close, so close, closecloseclose—” 
“let go, then,” he urges, his blunt nails digging into your flesh. “let me feel that sweet cunt cum on my cock.” 
you comply without hesitation, though if you’d done it willingly, he can’t really tell; he has to pin your hips down to stop you from bucking up and causing him to slip out, and you writhe against him as you sob in ecstasy, your walls fluttering before they clench. stray tears leak from your eyes, squeezed shut, and suguru wants nothing more than to eat you up like this — broken, fucked out. 
you’re not even fully down from your high when he feels it — that sudden wrenching in his gut that tells him he’s about to follow suit. with a low groan, he peels your thighs apart again, lets you watch him as he bullies straight into your leaking hole. your voice is a staccato, punctuating every deep, sharp thrust into you, and it’s exactly to that melody that he wants to get off. 
“tell me where you want it, angel.” he doesn’t trust his voice, sharp and short as it is now. “should i mark your pretty face? your stomach?”
“want it against my pussy,” you whisper out, and suguru almost loses his mind as he watches you spread your folds apart with your forefinger and middle finger, inviting him. “make a mess of it, senpai.”
he’s barely able to pull out before he’s spilling against you; he ruts against your slit, coating your folds and the insides of your thighs in thick, creamy white. you hold your legs apart for as long as you can until they start to tremble, and he catches them and gently eases them down. 
when you sit up to kiss him, you’re still demanding; he feels your hips rock closer, your sticky cunt pressing against the underside of his cock.
“not enough,” you murmur against his lips, and suguru chuckles as you bind your hands around his neck. 
“don’t worry, kitten,” he hums back. “we’ve got all afternoon.”
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anantaru · 3 months
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"hm? so you say i'm easy to love?"
wriothesley shows you his hooded, loving gaze under the candlelit room, the scent of pine and a cool breeze ringing from through the open window towards your covered bodies speaking the language of love— and up close, the color of his eyes was slightly changing, proceeding to be as clear as water.
if only you could realise that no one would ever be able to rival your own pair of eyes, wriothesley thinks, he loves them like the ancient beings loved the night sky— and it's when you hold his gaze you speak through them quietly, always priceless and never bought, always pure and without cost.
how he touches you now was such an enigma of love, tenderly, always destined as he holds you like a fragile crystal that needed protection— and his arm leisurely slides over your body before pulling you against his chest, chuckling like he's surprised when you melt into him, smiling like you're simply the most enigmatic human being to glare at.
"yes," you retort back, kissing his jaw, "and you're always so warm, i love it when you hold me like this, you know?"
"yeah?" wriothesley drawls back with a chuckle, cocking his brow a little, "i will forever keep you close then, holding you so tight that you will never feel alone again, my love,"
"i'm looking forward to that," you giggle.
and there it was again, for it's your heart that pumps blood in your veins when it shows you the love manifesting around your frames— you can notice the loss of gravity in your stomach as he burns a subtle kiss on your forehead, pulling your head into his lips before tilting his own to slip his tongue into your mouth.
for certain, you could recognize those weightless kisses anywhere, all around the world between millions, and wanted to feel them every night— because you see, only wriothesley's kisses guided your heart into inner piece, etched their igniting passions into your body.
an emotion such as love to the duke was not a throwaway emotion, something to invoke on a whim or expose to anybody. it's about that inner calm that he found in himself when he knew he was your soulmate— how he makes you feel each twinkle of emotions as deeply as you could perceive them, and the way he does it guides every deed, harbored no uncertainty, he did it with fondness and grace.
you nuzzle your cheek into his chest and hold your ear right above the knocks of his heart— so that for each time you could hear it vibrate on the shell of your ear, you have the certainty that he'll always be there, that wriothesley wasn't going anywhere and that his everlasting devotion and his unconditional love was for a lifetime.
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©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own
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milky-aeons · 2 months
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'𝐓𝐈𝐋 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐎 𝐔𝐒 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓
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ᯓ★ starring: dazai osamu, kunikida doppo, atsushi nakajima, chuuya nakahara and fyodor dostoevsky; what they would be like on their wedding day.
warnings: marriage, swearing, alcohol-intake, wife reader, w.c 3.5k
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ᯓ★𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔
: ̗̀➛ Dazai, who never really acted like a conventional human being, also did not propose like one, either. After dating the enigmatic Armed Detective Agent for, by then, two years, you did not expect him to get down on one knee and produce a beautiful ring, like you had seen in the movies. But you also did not expect him to drop the question like it was a frivolous thing one random Tuesday evening while you both shared a drink at your favourite late-night bar.
Blinking, your glass frozen mid-way to your lips, you turned to him and said, "What did you... just say?" That mischievous smile you were so quick to fall for flashed across his face. "I said, why don't we get married, hmm~?"
: ̗̀➛ There was no other answer in your mind, your heart, than a resounding yes. For he was the thorn in your side as much as he was your other half. Through the whirlwind of months following, you found it hard to discern where one day ended and the next began. Time bled together until you didn't have nearly enough of it, and the day of the ceremony was here. It was a casual affair not bound too tightly by tradition. By the help of the agents, an old, abandoned manor sitting by the riverside had been fashioned into your very own cathedral.
: ̗̀➛ Yosano Akiko fussed over your dress, your hair, your makeup — to a point where you thought she was having way too much fun. And yet, she left no stones unturned, either. As you walked in through the building decorated with bouquets of flowers and rows upon rows of familiar faces, she hooked her arm into yours and walked by your side. Using Thou Shalt Not Die, the doctor instructed fluttering, iridescent butterflies to sit against your dress and your veil, the cornet of your hair, any place she could in order to make you glow.
: ̗̀➛ He stood to his towering height at the alter with his back turned to you in an immaculate suit of white. And when he spun to face you, you fell in love for a second time — with his brunet hair tucked behind his ear, the blue rose pinned to his suit lapel and his eyes; how they watched you. With a type of stunned disbelief that melted into adoration. When you came to stand by his side in front of the pastor, his hand reached down to twine with your fingers, and he whispered;
"You — are absolutely breath-taking."
: ̗̀➛ Kyouka Izumi played the role of ring-bearer, delivering a small white pillow with the two shining bands once it was time to say your vows. Dazai reached out tenderly, slowly, as if to preserve this moment for as long as he could, and lifted the veil from your face. His eyes shuttered. He reached for your hand and slid the smaller band onto your finger, his eyes downcast, his voice low and intimate.
"Through you I have found what it means to love, what it is to feel human, and while I am by your side — I endeavour to protect and earn that title. For as long as I shall live, I am yours. My soul, my name, they are all yours."
: ̗̀➛ As the ceremony reached its closure, when you had both been bound to each other in heart and in soul, Dazai could not wait another moment before he could reach for you. As soon as the words you may kiss the bride left the pastor's lips, Dazai had looped his arms around your waist and bent you back into a dramatic dip. Cheers and claps filled the riverside chapel, you smiled widely against his lips, expecting nothing less of him. Your soulmate. Your husband. Your Osamu, who's name you brandished as your own.
𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘 . . .
"Kunikida-kun~!" Dazai's loud voice, a little accentuated with alcohol, swam over the crowd. "Play the thing we talked about!"
Curious, your head turned to the sounds of footsteps shuffling onto the dancefloor illuminated by pale spotlights. The afterparty was in full swing, you had been flanked by a group of well-wishing women when your husband's voice reached your ears. Each of you observed as Dazai, alongside Kunikida, Junichirou, Atsushi and little Kenji took centre stage. Excited murmurs fluttered through the throng.
"What on earth are they doing?" You wondered, and then the starting notes to All The Single Ladies began blaring from the party speakers. Your mouth dropped. Every single one of the Armed Detective Agents began to move in unison to the beat of the music.
And for the third time, you fell in love with him, again. Expecting that there would be many more to come.
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ᯓ★𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐀 𝐃𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎
: ̗̀➛ Kunikida Doppo, who, at first, had not planned to marry you. After all, you only met twenty out of his proposed fifty-eight requirements that made the perfect wife. That was the thing about your relationship, however — you had come into the agent's life unplanned, uninvited, and turned every one of his rigid ideals up on their heads.
: ̗̀➛ Yet it was only telling of the Idealist and his old habits, how Kunikida went about asking for your hand in marriage. It had been early on a weekday afternoon when he had called you into one of the private meeting rooms of the Agency's office. He'd pushed his glasses up the strong bridge of his nose and laid out his terms. He'd even written a business contract for you to sign. The page had gone flying in the air when you had tackled him from across the table. Smattering a thousand kisses against his blushing, flustered face and breathing the words yes, yes, you silly man, yes!
: ̗̀➛ To concur with both your family's wishes and his own, a traditional wedding was set in motion. Kunikida Doppo was always a man to abide by rules and regulations, but it had occurred to you that perhaps he was taking this affair a little too seriously. For your parents, he gifted them the very traditional shiraga thread. During the sake ceremony, the blond sat ramrod straight, moving mechanically to take sips from the three cups. One for past, one for present, and one for your future. Together.
: ̗̀➛ He was so serious, in fact, that you had become nervous on the morning of your wedding — your most beloved of friends helping you into your garments, trying to soothe your thoughts. What if he doesn't want to marry me? You would whisper as they fashioned your hair up. What if I've forced him into this, what if he's unhappy? To one of your many anxieties, your friend had met your eyes in the mirror, and smiled.
"Oh, honey," She chuckled, leaning down to kiss you on the cheek. "You should see the way that man looks at you."
: ̗̀➛ Her words played in your mind as the traditional music was strung during your procession to meet him. The black colours he donned made his long ponytail appear golden, his body strong, his face even more handsome. As he watched you come down the shrine walkway to be by his side, the blond reached up with one hand to push his glasses away and covered his eyes. It had taken you a few months after to realise that in that moment, Kunikida Doppo had shed a tear.
: ̗̀➛ It was not tradition for vows to be spoken, and yet Kunikida asked to say a few words as the ceremony drew to a close. You watched him carefully as he picked up the microphone, curious at the intentions he had. It was in that moment that your newly wed husband faced the crowd and brought the mic to his lips.
"First, I would like to thank you all for gracing our marriage with both your presence and your blessings. It is something we will see not to squander." "Second, I would like to say some thoughts of mine, if you would all be so inclined. Marriage, to me, was initially an agreement of convenience. I had the perfect woman laid out seamlessly. And in my wife that stands with me today, I say that she is not that perfect woman I so wished to find. But she is everything more. She is my best friend, she is my support, she is the person I go to sleep thinking of and wake up searching for. To me, she is my home, and I will take care of her fiercely."
: ̗̀➛ At your small reception, Kunikida was stolen away from you by some affiliates of the Armed Detective Agency and had his sake cup topped up one too many times. He found you afterwards, and proclaimed both his love and adoration for his newly-betrothed to everyone and anyone that was within a five mile radius.
𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 . . .
"Come here," You whispered to him, now in the comfort of your own apartment walls. A considerably uncoordinated Kunikida was struggling out of his Haorihimo, cursing in drunken slurs and promises of retribution to the small sliver of fabric.
Your fingers eased the cloth out from underneath his arms and you began to loosen the knot. Your husband was staring up at you from behind his crooked glasses. He swayed a little, and you stood in front of him, ready to support him if he went toppling forward off the bed.
But then, two strong, solid arms came up to the small of your back and he crushed you against him. Burying his head into your chest, he murmured;
"From the very first day I met you... I loved you. D'ya know that?"
Your heart grew tiny wings in your chest and began to sore. Smiling, you reached up, carding your fingers through his blond locks and undoing the tight ponytail.
"The first day you met me, you told me I was inefficient and lazy, my dear husband." You mused.
He grunted. "Same... thing."
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ᯓ★𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐀
: ̗̀➛ Your relationship with Atsushi was one that blossomed slow and tenderly. It was a natural progression, after three years of happy dating, for the agent to ask you to marry him. Everything Atsushi Nakajima did in regards to showing his affection for you was always timid and reserved — you never expected it; the elaborate surprise he had waiting in store for you that morning you came into the Agency's offices just like you always did.
: ̗̀➛ Well, perhaps he had a little help from the other agents, for the office was barren when you entered. Your eyebrows had creased at the very uncharacteristic quiet of the usually chaotic area you worked in. You had checked the time, wondering if you had showed up a little too early on accident. But then, there was a voice — the voice of agent Dazai Osamu, shouting at you to come to the nearest window and to do so urgently—!
Each of the agents stood at the sidewalk, all holding up a sign with different characters that made up a whole sentence. A question. And Atsushi — your sweet, kind, caring Atsushi, was perched in the middle, the biggest bouquet of roses in his sheepish hands. Will you marry me?
: ̗̀➛ Both you and Atsushi decide to get married somewhere far removed from the city skyline of Yokohama. You wanted somewhere special to remember this day, and perhaps, the great outdoors and stretching greens spoke to Atsushi's beastly side a little more, too. So you chose the heart of a nearby woodland where a great, ancient willow tree served as your alter.
: ̗̀➛ Atsushi wore a suit of sky-blue. You wore a simple slip dress decorated with accents of lace and flowers, Kenji had twined some wildflowers into your hair. The fauna of the forest acted as your choir when you walked down the small trail of brambles to your soon-to-be husband who waited at the base of the winding trunk.
: ̗̀➛ The reception was held in a greenhouse funded by the Agency's private books — you and Atsushi were members, after all, so Kunikida took a little less persuading than usual to move his ledgers around. For lunch, you served chazuke, and when you took the first dance, Atsushi's eyes appeared more gold than they were violet as they looked at you so lovingly the whole time.
𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 . . .
"Atsushi, they'll notice that we're gone." You giggled, bunching your dress up so you could step over the little bush of thickets. When you both reached the winding roots of the willow tree you promised yourselves to each other underneath, Atsushi transformed his arms and legs into their tiger equivalents.
"Dazai-san said he'd keep everyone entertained." He whispered, and then stepped forward to wrap his soft arms around you. "Are you ready?"
"It may be a little late for second thoughts." You teased, but looped your arms around his slender neck and relaxed into his hold. The new golden band on your finger glinted in the moonlight.
And using that tiger-strength, Atsushi dug his claws into the ancient tree bark and began to climb. Higher and higher until you both broke through the canopy cover and could look to the millions of stars winking at you overhead.
"Oh, Atsushi." You breathed in awe, taking in the wonders above. "Oh, it's beautiful."
Your husband nuzzled into your hair and whispered, "Each one represents all the lifetimes I'd still find and fall in love with you in."
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ᯓ★𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀
: ̗̀➛ It had initially been you and your General lover's plan to keep your engagement quiet and have a small affair away from town. Just the two of you, because Chuuya thought some of his colleagues were insufferable pains in his ass, and all hell would break loose if they were to figure out they had a wedding plan on their hands. It was, however, unfortunate, that you two had been discussing what type of ceremony you'd like to have when Hirotsu was just about to turn one of the corners. It took exactly one hour for the entire Port Mafia to know. Two for it to reach the Armed Detective Agency.
: ̗̀➛ It was no longer a personal affair. This wedding became a spectacle within the Mafia's ranks. From the lowest levels all the way to the boss himself, everyone was abuzz with ideas and anticipation, excited that one of their top brass was getting married and they could all take advantage of the time off to have a grand party. Chuuya threatened to resign several times, you always laughed at how excited the entire criminal organisation became at the prospect of celebration.
: ̗̀➛ True to the boss' word, you and Chuuya's wedding was held in one of the grandest churches Yokohama had to offer — having mysteriously skipped the two year waiting list. The building was laved in gold and stain glass windows. Chuuya wore a fine suit of blood-red and a black tie that contrasted with his wild curls, his hard blue eyes. But when they saw you come down the aisle, they softened, and when he said his vows to you, you never thought anyone would look at you with such adoration ever again.
: ̗̀➛ The main event was held in the bowels of the Port Mafia — one of the largest show-rooms this organisation had to offer, with chandeliers hanging from the ceilings and a private band playing any songs they were requested. Chuuya, for the majority of your reception, could not seem to keep his hands off of you. If you were not by his hip, his eyes would instantly go searching for you within the throng of party-goers. When he did find you, he would place a hand to the small of your back, he'd lean in to kiss you and say;
"There you are, my wife."
: ̗̀➛ There was another reason as to why Chuuya Nakahara was originally so hellbent on taking your wedding somewhere more quiet and peaceful. And it came in the form of a brunet ex-partner waltzing into the organisation's party, a broad simper on his infuriating face. Dazai Osamu took your hand and kissed the back of it, extending his deepest sympathies and that if you ever needed to blow off steam, he could give you his number.
: ̗̀➛ The Port Mafia ballroom had originally started off with three grand chandeliers. After Dazai had purred those taunting words, there was then, only two.
: ̗̀➛ After the many shards had been swept from the floor by a cleaning crew, the private band struck an up-beat quartet. Both you and your newly-wed husband took to the floor for the first dance. Chuuya's hand splayed protectively against your back, his other gloved palm slotting into yours and guiding you to twirl, skip, spin.
𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄 . . .
"Shit, sorry." He grumbled when your foreheads were touching, the proximity sending his breath fanning across your cheeks. His pointy canines were jutting against his bottom lip. "That motherfucker — he just makes me see red."
"Hey, it's okay." You said, catching his eyes. "Because I love you. You, Nakahara. I am all yours and no one else's."
Those words touched something deep within this man's chest. Of course, the proof that you were his sat in the form of two stacked rings on your left hand, but to hear it. To look into your beautiful eyes and see the amount of love there.
He surprised you by reaching down to your hips and lifting you up, twirling you around, around, around.
"And I'm forever yours, babydoll."
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ᯓ★𝐅𝐘𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑 𝐃𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐄𝐕𝐒𝐊𝐘
: ̗̀➛ The initial letter you received from Fyodor asking for your hand in marriage — originally, you believed it to be fake. A shallow joke from someone who knew of you and the mastermind's occasional on-and-off relationship whenever he returned to your homeland. But as you traced the delicate loops of the handwriting that looked so much like his own, in the intimate moonlight beams of late night — you'd let yourself imagine. Hope. Only for it to swell and dwindle like ashes of a flame. Because there was just no way he would ask to marry you. That he would marry, at all.
: ̗̀➛ It was fitting then; how palpable your shock was when the slender, pale man you had accidentally fallen in love with — like a fool — was standing on the other side of your door that early morning. You had blinked hard, rubbed your eyes, wondered if you were weary from too many sleepless nights. When the stars had cleared from your vision, he was still there. An amused little smile stretched against his lips.
"So? Are you ready to get married?" You stared at him. And stared. And then dropped your morning cup of coffee onto the tiles of your hallway.
: ̗̀➛ At the news of your sudden betrothal, your family were both elated with a healthy dose of scepticism. Who is this man you are intending to marry, they fluttered around you with questions when you broke the news. Fyodor? I've never heard you speak of him, why do you intend to marry this man, girl? At that, you had smiled, not bothering to hide the small heat of blush on your ears, and murmured;
"Because he's a thief, and he stole my heart a very long time ago."
: ̗̀➛ The wedding was held in an old cathedral of gothic architecture. You don't think you've ever seen Fyodor look so refined; standing there in his simple suit of stone-grey with a black shirt. He had his hair tucked behind his ears, his eyebags were a little less pronounced, his skin brighter — but perhaps that was just the early-morning light. When you stood before your husband to-be and handed your heart over to him, for him, there was a shift in his eyes. You could not explain it, but you knew it ran deep. You knew that in his own way, he was also handing himself over to you. And you would accept all of him, just like you accepted his name.
: ̗̀➛ Much to the dismay of your family, you did not hold a wedding reception after the ceremony, but that was only because Fyodor decided to walk with you through the freezing streets of Moscow. He held your hand, and even though on many nights where you lay together he was stone-cold, today, he felt warm.
𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃 . . .
"Fyodor?"
"Hmm?" He answered, noticing the sheepish tone in your voice. You looked up at him with those big doe eyes.
"Why did you ask to marry me?"
Fyodor held your gaze for a long, pregnant second. It was at that moment that a single flake of snow fluttered down from the grey sky and landed on his immaculate suit. Then another. Each one the same colour as your dress, each one different to the rest.
Fyodor held out his hand to catch them. "Why does the snow fall? Because it is natural. It is meant to be. I married you because it is the way I wish to fall. With you, by my side."
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✎ . . . requested by the lovely @cocodrilofeliz!
WRITING REQUESTS
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runninriot · 3 months
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...✍️
“I want that too, y’know. The touching and kissing, everything. But the problem is, that I- I want all that from someone I can’t have. And that sucks.” Steve chuckles bitterly.
Isn’t that funny? That there he is, the wonderful man that stole Eddie’s heart, being just as miserable, just as heartbroken as Eddie is. It’s hysterical, really. Eddie wants to laugh, wants to ask who Steve is talking about. Finds it impossible to think there could be a single person in this world that would pass on the opportunity to be with Steve in all the ways Eddie would kill for.
   “Guess that makes two of us,” Eddie confesses and Steve perks up at his words, opens and closes his mouth as if he, too, doesn’t know if it’s okay to dig deeper.
There’s a sadness in his eyes Eddie thinks must mirror his own; two sets of brown eyes searching for comfort in each other. Eddie feels so small, so angry for Steve and himself because love could be such a beautiful thing but isn’t when the rhythm of your heart doesn’t match the one it’s beating for. When love is a one way road with no exists.
   “What do you mean?” Steve asks but Eddie just shakes his head and smiles weakly, trying to take some of the heaviness away for both their sakes.
People don’t choose to fall in love, it just happens. And when it does, there is always a fifty-fifty chance that your love is requited. That the person you fell for likes you in the same way, wants you just like you want them.
Sadly, Eddie has yet to be one of the lucky ones to experience that. The real thing. And while they are still staring at each other, each wallowing in their own sorrow because being in love hurts – he realises that this is so much more than a stupid crush. That this goes deeper than anything he’s ever felt before. That maybe for the first time in his 25 years on earth he understands what true love feels like. Feels the crushing weight of it. Knows it won’t fade so easily. But-
   “You’ll always have me.”
He can pretend. He can be Steve’s friend even if it hurts. Eddie would rather pull his own heart out than not to have Steve in his life. He’d rather be Steve’s friend than nothing at all.
   “What?” Steve seems confused at his statement and Eddie can’t blame him.
   “I’m sorry you can’t have who you want but you’ll always have me.”
   “Why do you say that?”
   “Because I mean it, Steve. No matter what, you’ll always have me. It might not be enough for you and I get that. But for me, this is everything I need even if I can’t have all I want. You wanna know why I came home so early? Because when you texted me, I realised that I don’t need to be anywhere else, with anyone else.”
    I just wanna be here. With you.
Eddie bites his tongue to stop himself from saying more, knows he’s already said too much. Probably shouldn’t have said any of it.
The confusion in Steve’s eyes turns into something else – anger maybe? Frustration? He pulls away from Eddie, jumps up off the sofa and walks a few steps back.
   “You- you can’t just say things like that, Eddie.”
Eddie hates that there is so much space between them, so he stands too, approaches Steve like he would a scared animal, taking slow steps to close the distance between them.
   “I can’t say the truth?” He doesn’t think about his own words, just lets his emotions take over his brain and mouth, doesn’t care about the consequences.
   “N-no! You can’t just say it like it means more than what you’re actually saying. You’re doing this enigmatic bullshit I never understand because I’m too dumb to read between the lines!”
That causes Eddie to freeze on the spot. He’s only inches away from Steve now, could lift his arms easily to reach out for him. But Steve’s words stop him.
He’s right, isn’t he? Eddie does that a lot. Says only half of what he means or says one thing and means another entirely. He just never realised Steve knew. That he can see right through him.
   “You’re right,” he agrees.
Steve huffs annoyed, rubs his hands roughly over his face.
   “Then tell me what you mean. What you really mean.”
It doesn’t matter now, does it? He already said too much anyway. Steve is already onto him, knows Eddie is playing a game of hide and seek with himself – hiding the truth and seeking for an easy way out. But it’s too late to try and turn this conversation around.
   “What I mean is-“ Eddie takes a deep breath, summons all the courage he can find in himself. “It makes two of us because I feel that same way you do. Wanting someone I can’t have? Because you’re my friend, Steve. I can’t have you the way I want you and that’s fine. It hurts like hell but it’s fine. I can live with that. You’ll never be alone because you’ll always have me as a friend.”
Steve stares at him with eyes full of rage.
   “But I don’t want you as a friend.”
Steve’s words hit him like a fist to the face. But before Eddie can let them sink in and start spiralling about the meaning behind them – Steve not wanting to be friends anymore because of Eddie’s confession, obviously – Steve closes the distance between them in one swift motion, grabs Eddie’s face on either side, looking at him with determination in his eyes.
   “I want you as more than a friend, Eddie.”
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arminsumi · 5 months
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Maybe I Like you, Maybe I Don't
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Sukuna is odd.
His show of affection feels old-fashioned sometimes, like draping his jacket around you when you shiver or opening doors for you.
Then sometimes you mistake him to be annoyed at you, because he rolls his eyes if you hurt yourself — but he asks what happened, he asks if you're okay, even if his voice sounds agitated, and he always has that phrase coming out of his mouth "You hurt yourself? Are you an idiot?" before putting a bandaid on your wound and kissing it better.
Sat at lavish restaurant dinner dates, when you're really into a conversation, you don't notice your look becoming disheveled. But Sukuna does. He notices the strands of your hair sticking to your glossy lips and gently brushes them away without you acknowledging, because he does it so silently and smoothly. Or maybe a curl of your hair is uncurling; then he twirls it around his finger to give it better shape. Or maybe there's just a bit of fluff in your shorter hair, he flicks it off with his fingers. Or maybe your earring is long and gets tangled; he'll disentangle it.
He stares at you with an unreadable expression. There is a very small quiver of light in his eyes that makes your heart tick.
You never really know what he means because he's always being enigmatic with you. And he shrugs when he gives you enigmatic, side-stepping replies.
You ask; "do you like being with me?"
He replies; "I don't mind your company."
You ask; "Is this a date?"
He replies; "If you want it to be."
You ask; "Can I hold onto you?"
He replies; "Whatever; if you must."
You ask; "Do you like me?"
He replies; "Maybe I do, maybe I don't."
That is, until someone else comes into the equation and he suddenly realizes his tiny displays of affection might be going over your head — he feels nervous for once in his life.
If there's someone threatening your singularity, suddenly he talks different;
"I prefer her company over anyone else's."
"She can't come over; we're going on a date."
"You're cold; hold onto me."
"Well, too bad for you. I found her first and she loves me. You're shit outta luck."
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© arminsumi
I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
This is fictional work.
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andy-15-07 · 2 months
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Heyyy , I love your blog❤️! Can you do a fic with Feyd Rautha, where y/n gives birth to their first child
Seraphina
masterlist ! pairing:Feyd Rautha reader
Dune Masterlist
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In the dimly lit birthing chamber of House Harkonnen, the air was thick with anticipation as Feyd-Rautha stood by your side. The momentous occasion had arrived, and the echoes of your shared breaths reverberated through the room. The Harkonnen legacy was about to be expanded, and the weight of the future seemed to rest in the hands of the next generation.
As the contractions began, Feyd-Rautha, usually an enigmatic figure of political maneuvering and calculated decisions, displayed a rare vulnerability. His gaze never wavered from you, his eyes reflecting a mixture of concern and anticipation.
The midwife, clad in the rich fabrics of Arrakis, guided the process with a calm authority. "Lady Y/N, the time is near. Brace yourself for the final push."
The room seemed to hold its breath as the culmination of your love and lineage unfolded. Feyd-Rautha, known for his unwavering confidence, now stood at the edge of uncertainty, his hand tightly gripping yours.
With a final, intense push, the cries of a newborn filled the air. The midwife's hands worked swiftly, placing the newborn in your arms. Feyd-Rautha's eyes widened with a mixture of awe and overwhelming emotion as he caught a glimpse of your child.
"Our child," he whispered, his voice filled with a depth that transcended his usual stoicism.
As you cradled the newborn in your arms, a wave of love and protectiveness washed over you. "Our legacy, Feyd-Rautha. She carries the blood of House Harkonnen."
The newborn, wrapped in the regal fabrics of Arrakis, squirmed in your arms, her eyes opening to reveal a gaze that seemed to hold an ancient wisdom. Feyd-Rautha, a formidable presence in the political landscape, now knelt beside you, his eyes locked on the tiny being that symbolized the continuation of House Harkonnen.
"What shall we name her?" Feyd-Rautha pondered, his usually sharp mind momentarily softened by the enormity of the moment.
You exchanged a knowing look, a silent agreement passing between you. "Seraphina," you suggested, a name that carried the essence of grace and strength, a name befitting the union of your love.
"Seraphina," Feyd-Rautha echoed, a rare smile playing on his lips. "A name worthy of our House."
As the newborn Seraphina rested in your arms, Feyd-Rautha by your side, a newfound sense of unity enveloped your family. The once-feuding houses were now intricately connected through the birth of this child, a symbol of love prevailing over the shadows of political intrigue.
In the birthing chamber of House Harkonnen, the cries of a newborn marked not just the beginning of a new life but the dawn of a future where love and legacy intertwined. Feyd-Rautha, the enigmatic figure of power, now stood as a father, embracing the vulnerability and joy that came with the arrival of his firstborn. The legacy of House Harkonnen continued with a new chapter, written in the cries and whispers of the newborn Seraphina.
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suppose-i-was-worm · 7 months
Text
For Lack of a Burger
**finally I have written! Sorry for the long absence, folks- my cat is a needy little thing and I love her. Enjoy!**
“As blood son of Batman, it is only natural that I train here to become heir to the Bat.”
Dick- well, Nightwing right now- looked down at Robin, who was staring out over Gotham with his brow furrowed.
“And what of the league? I can’t imagine them letting the heir to the Demon’s Head run loose.”
Robin stiffened a fraction more than he already was- something that Nightwing wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t trained by Batman himself.
“I know only one thing for sure concerning the heirship of the league.”
“What is that?”
“Grandfather will not taste relief in death.”
Nightwing wasn’t sure what that meant, but Damian seemed so assured of the fact. He would have to tell Bruce- maybe Ra’s had discovered a better method of immortality than the pits?
An alert pinged on their communicators, and the two of them checked it before heading off to save the citizens.
~~~
“I miss real food, Clocky.”
“You are currently unable to process it.”
“I know. Ectoplasm just isn’t the same though.”
Danny sprawled on Clockwork’s floor, lazily filling out paperwork from ages ago and yesterday.
“It has been a very long time since you left humanity behind.”
“I wish there was a safe way to go back and get some food.”
His mentor paused briefly, and Danny looked up. Was that a gleam in Clockwork’s eye?
“There is a way.”
Danny shot up into a seated position, crossing his legs.
“Tell me!”
“You will face many hardships.”
“Clockwork, serious as a funeral, I would kill for a burger right now.”
Clockwork smiled enigmatically.
“You may have to.”
He flicked his fingers and Danny found himself pushed back. He allowed it- at this point in his existence, he could overpower Clockwork, but he’d asked for this.
The world went dark around him.
~~~
In the year since he’d come to live with Father, Damian had not said a word about his brother. He’d been told, before being unceremoniously bundled away from the only home he’d ever known, that he was to be the heir of the Bat and Daniel was to be the Demon’s Head.
His mother had told him that Father would try and steal Daniel away from the League- that Damian would yet again be the lesser son. After a few months with Father, Damian had stopped believing that. There was no thing as a ‘lesser’ child for Father.
And yet.
Grandfather was a powerful man, and Grandfather treasured Daniel more than he had ever cared for Damian.
Daniel al Ghul, second son of the Bat of Gotham, was brilliant. He kept his emotions in check, fought with practiced ease in any situation, and spoke circles around even mother. It never took him as long as it took Damian to learn a new skill, and most of the time he spent studying, even when they were both allowed a break.
Damian loved him, even as the younger child overtook the position Damian had striven for his entire life.
What was not to love? Damian had loved him ever since his tiny hand had curled around his finger in infancy.
He had always been fond of small, cute things.
But if Daniel left the League, Grandfather would come after him, and it would be unsafe.
Damian held his tongue and loved his baby brother from a distance, even though he might never see him again.
~~~
John “Hellblazer” Constantine needed a drink. Or several.
Bats had appeared on the Watchtower with yet another new Robin, and this one was probably the most concerning out of all of them.
No, it wasn’t the sword.
It was the massive fucking protection order from a powerful death god that radiated off his small form.
“Bats.”
“Hm.”
“I need to talk to you and the kid.”
Bats nodded, a gesture John took to mean ‘go ahead’.
John sighed.
“Not here, Bats. Too many ears.”
“Hrn.”
The Bat swept away, followed closely by his brightly colored companion. John followed as well. He was pretty good at speaking Bat, after all these years working together.
They made their way into the bowels of the Watchtower, into a sitting room John hadn’t known existed.
“What do you need, Constantine?”
John paused for a moment, assessing. Robin was watching him suspiciously, hand on his sword, and Batman was standing half in front of the little bird protectively.
“Did you know this one was friends with a death god?”
“What?”
The Bat and Robin spoke the same word at the same time, in the exact same tone. Did they practice that? Anyways.
“Yup. Little redbreast screams hands off.”
“I am not acquainted with any gods.”
John shrugged.
“Doesn’t mean you knew they were a god. To get to the bottom of this- has anyone ever sworn to protect you in some way?”
Robin went still and pale behind his mask, before darting a glance up at Batman.
Batman, who was looking down at his sidekick.
“Robin? Report.”
The boy stuck his chin out.
“It was many years ago, Batman. He- they couldn’t have been a god.”
“You don’t know that, kid. Where did you meet him?”
“He wasn’t a god!”
Robin had become defensive, sword halfway out of it’s sheath, glaring at John- presumably for the sin of being alive.
“If the League of Assassins has contact with a deity of death, we need to know, Robin.”
Snarling, Robin started out of the room.
“I will not discuss him with either of you. He is safe where he is.”
“Robin- chum. Who is he?”
Robin stopped in the door, not looking back. His voice wobbled a little as he spoke.
“My younger brother.”
John needed a drink, and fast.
~~~
Danny stood over Damian’s bed, watching his older brother breathe shallowly. Grandfather had beat him badly, and Danny was still unsure why.
Talia wouldn’t look him in the eye, and Grandfather had gone to soak in the pits.
“Daniel?”
“Damian!”
Danny bent over his brother, placing a hand over his pulse to check it.
“Why?”
Why had Grandfather beaten him? Why had he stood and let it happen? Why didn’t he run?
“He… wanted me… t’kill you.”
Danny felt rage swell up in his tiny seven-year-old body. What right did Ra’s al Ghul think he had, to beat a child almost to death for such a reason?
What right did that man have, to touch someone Danny had come to care for?
Closing his eyes briefly, Danny allowed himself to meditate for the few moments it would take to let his rage die down enough to comfort his brother.
Once it had, he opened his eyes again and pressed his forehead to Damian’s.
“I swear I will protect you, ahki. Ra’s al Ghul will not taste relief in death.”
The next day Danny watched invisibly as Talia dipped Damian in the Lazarus pits to heal him before putting him on a plane to Gotham.
~~~
“You have made me proud, Daniel.”
Ra’s watched as Daniel bowed, having taken out a squadron of elite ninja for his tenth birthday.
The ninja were still breathing- Ra’s was sure Daniel had spared them so as to not weaken the ranks of the League he was set to inherit.
It pleased him that his young grandson was so wise, despite his youth. His older brother had no such wisdom- rash and impatient, still full of emotional weakness. Ra’s would no longer claim that boy as his grandson once Daniel passed his newest test.
With a wave of his hand, several ninja brought forth a young man. They had managed to kidnap Richard Grayson from under the nose of the Bat, and now Daniel would kill the other.
“Grandfather?”
“This is your Father’s oldest ward. He is a usurper to a place that rightfully should be yours. Kill him.”
Daniel walked towards the bound man, and the ninja holding the captive backed away respectfully.
“May I ask him a question, Grandfather?”
Ra’s nodded. There was no harm in it.
The boy drew his sword and stepped around the man, holding the blade to his neck.
“Tell me, Grayson. Is Damian well?”
The lilt in his voice spelled danger for Damian, and Ra’s could barely contain his grin at Daniel’s ferocity.
“He is protected,” the kneeling man forced out. “You won’t harm a hair on his head.”
Daniel smiled, not unlike a shark.
“I know.”
Before Ra’s could blink, Richard Grayson’s bonds had fallen to the floor as if he had turned into a ghost, and Daniel’s sword was stabbed into the dirt between the Demon Head’s feet.
“We are leaving, Ra’s, and you will not stop us.”
The venom in his calm grandson’s voice when Daniel said his name made Ra’s pause, but only for a moment.
At a gesture, ninja poured out into the courtyard, intent on recapturing Nightwing and taking down the heir to the Demon.
Seconds before the ninja collided with the two, Daniel grinned, his eyes locked straight on Ra’s, grabbed Grayson’s hand, and the two vanished.
~~~
Dick was… Confused didn’t quite cut it. His day had been a disaster, and then this tiny meta who looked like a carbon copy of Damian appeared.
“So… You a clone?”
“No.”
“Oh. Uh. What are we doing, by the way?”
The boy smiled serenely at him, and then continued his work.
“Jacking a plane.”
“You’re like, eight.”
The boy shrugged.
“If you like.”
“Where are we going?”
“Gotham.”
“Who are you?”
The boy turned and put his hands on his hips, and Dick was starkly reminded of Bruce by the posture and facial expression.
“Look, Grayson, I get it, you’re confused. But if you don’t shut up and let me finish this wiring, we’ll never get you back to Gotham before the League catches up.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
The boy turned back around and continued his wiring.
“Call me Danny. Too many fruitloops call me Daniel.”
Dick expected a long flight ahead of them.
~~~
Damian was strapping on the last of his gear to go rescue Richard from the League of Assassins when the man himself strolled into the batcave, looking tired but no worse for wear.
“Dick!”
Batman- no, he took his cowl off- Father threw himself across the room to assess the health of his son.
Damian started unstrapping his gear.
“How did you get free?”
“We apparently had a man on the inside?”
“Had?”
“He blew his cover to save me.”
“Nightwing, report. Where is this man now?”
“I was landing the plane. Nice digs, dad.”
The cave fell silent, but for the ringing of the batarangs Damian dropped as he spun to face the newcomer.
“Not sure what I think of the ‘cave’ vibe you have going on, though.”
“Daniel?”
Daniel met Damian’s eyes, and a look Damian had never seen on his little brother broke out on the boy’s face.
A true, genuine, joyful smile.
“Akhi!”
Damian pulled out his sword and held it towards the stranger in his brother’s body.
“Who are you?”
The boy laughed.
“I’m a little weird now, right? It’s okay, Damian, it’s me.”
“What was the last thing you said to me.”
Damian felt that was a good question. No one but Daniel would know.
“I said I would protect you, and that Ra’s al Ghul would not experience a pleasant afterlife.”
“That-“
“Isn’t quite it, I know. Still true, though. I brought the Lazarus pits with me. Ra’s can’t use them anymore.”
Damian heard Father and Drake choke at Daniel’s words. This was Daniel, despite his complete personality change. No one had been with them when Daniel had made his promise.
“Since when were you a god of death?”
Daniel laughed.
“It’s a long story, Ahki.”
Damian sheathed his sword and held out a hand.
“Come then, habibi, tell me.”
“Can I have a burger to go with the story? I’m starving."
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bratphilia · 6 months
Text
office chair (w. afton x reader)
request: "hi angel!!! ummmmmm…….. could you possiblg write some big age gap, lap riding and kissing + teasing with steve raglan/mathew lillard william? asking for a friend.."
note: sorry it's a little short but i hope you enjoy anon!!
pairing: steve raglan / william afton x reader
tags: age gap (reader is 18-21, william is like 45-50+), dry humping, riding, make out session, implied friends w/ benefits
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you're in his office. again. surprise, surprise. but you both knew what you were getting into the moment you locked eyes in the waiting room of his office. especially once he locked the door behind him after you entered.
steve has had you on every surface of this office. even up against the walls. bent over the desk, on the little couch in his office — fuck, even on the floor.
you don't quite know what it is that makes him so attractive to you. he's a weird guy, to be honest. he's enigmatic and distant about his past and his emotions, whenever you've tried to actually talk to him. for now, you chalk it up to his age. you've never seen what he looked like when he was younger, but he aged like fine wine.
anyways, you're sitting in his lap in his desk chair. you've been in this exact position many times before, but that never takes away from how exciting it is. he's cradling your face with his hand and in control of the kiss you two are entangled in.
steve's mouth moves against yours, slow and sensual. his tongue guides yours in a slow dance. sometimes it's rough when he has little patience, or running on a low budget of time, or when he deals with an annoying client. but this time, the two of you have all the time in the world. whenever the two of you break apart for air, you press your foreheads together, listening to each other breathe.
over the time of your kiss, you become increasingly needy. so much so that steve takes notice. "want me that badly, huh?"
you begin grinding your hips against his jeans. the friction feels absolutely delicious against your clothed clit, making you whimper. "'need you."
he chuckles. "you already have me, sweetheart."
"steve, please."
he takes a moment to appreciate you. wandering eyes travel down and up your body, to where you're pushing your hips against him desperately, to your heaving chest, and to your eyes squeezed shut as you chase any kind of relief you can get. "i won't torture you, baby."
your heart soars. you hop off his lap, begrudgingly, and for a moment you miss being close to him, but he starts unbuckling his belt, practically making you salivate. he only pulls his cock out, leaving on his pants on. you wordlessly follow suit and take off your panties. purposefully, you leave your skirt on. you know all too well how he likes it.
he pats his thighs to beckon to to come sit. your heart thumps already with excitement. you hop on his lap, instantly sinking yourself down on his hard length. the both of you moan in unison. steve's hands find their way to your hips and pushes your pencil skirt up so it's bunched around your lower waist.
"ride me, baby," he almost grunts. you place your hands on his shoulders and begin to move at a slow pace. moving up and down, up and down, up and down.
steve is leaned back lazily. his gaze switches from your pretty face and down to where your pussy is sliding against his cock. his expression is just too good. flushed red face, sweat beading on his forehead, and pupils dialated.
you try to move faster but it's hard with your stamina and the position you're in. "help me out?" you ask in a sweet, fucked out voice, one that's music to his ears.
without another word, he uses his grip on your hips to guide you at a faster pace. soon enough, you're riding him with reckless abandon. your moaning freely at this point and the sounds you're making bring him closer to the edge.
knowing how much you love it, he leans forward and whispers dirty praises in your ear. "you're doing so well f'me, love dove, riding my cock so well."
"mmm," you moan in response. you wrap your hands around his neck and he takes the initiative to bury his face is the crook of yours.
you feel your own orgasm approaching as your whining gets louder. you both stopped caring who hears you a long time ago. steve can feel his own orgasm approaching closer too as his own grunts and groans increase in longevity.
he pulls you down and up on his cock faster, encouraging your movements. "come on baby girl, come for me. come for me, i'm close too."
the both of you finish at the same time. he pulls you down on his member to sit still as hot spurts of his cum shoot into you. you both moan at the same time as you take in the feeling of your insides being painted by him and your pussy clenching around him.
when the both of you calm down, the room is filled with the quiet sound of breathing. steve doesn't pull out yet and holds you close to him and peppers kisses on your face, your neck, and your chest, while you lay your head on his chest.
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wileys-russo · 1 month
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putting the ex in sex II j.hermoso
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18+ mature content, minors DNI!! - alexia and jenni never dated in this bc i said so. this is my first time posting anything 18+ so be nice (i may end up deleting it who knows) but strap in my friends, she's a long one at 12K.
putting the ex in sex II j.hermoso
when you finally broke up with jenni after three years together it felt like your entire life came crashing down and your world shattered around you.
you'd fallen in love hard and fast with the tall tattooed striker and from the moment you were introduced it had always been near impossible not to be drawn to her enigmatic charm and wolfish grin.
her charisma and effortless self confidence could just as easily be written off as arrogance to someone who didn't know her, not helped by the often cocky smile plastered to her face.
though you couldn't deny you'd found her attractive from first glance, your best friend alexia introducing the two of you when you finally signed for barcelona a season after jenni had returned.
you'd briefly known of jenni before you'd properly met her, having seen her scattered across your friends social media posts and stories over the years.
you'd grown up with alexia and though you were a couple of years younger than her you were incredibly close, and you found yourself often looking to her like the sister you'd never had.
which is why she'd been nothing short of devastated when despite going through the academy together you weren't offered a professional senior contract with your home club like she was.
you instead signed with atlético madrid and alexia had been heartbroken when you moved across the country. but despite that the two of you stayed just as close and you slowly climbed up the professional ranks, using your rejection from barcelona to only push your football to new heights.
you bounced between a few different clubs through spain as you grew up, even making the move over to germany to play for wolfsburg for a couple of seasons later on in your career, the different style of football helping your development even further.
and it paid off as finally in the same year you'd received your first national call up for spain you were offered a contract with barcelona, alexia having caught wind before you'd even had time to consider, calling you and yelling at you that if you didn't accept she would personally fly to germany, forge your signature, kidnap you and bring you home in her suitcase.
and so signing with barcelona in 2020 you were delighted that you already knew a few of the girls from your various other clubs. mainly having played alongside both ingrid and fridolina in germany before they'd moved, as well as maría, or mapi as she preferred to go by, for a couple of seasons during your time at atlético.
so welcomed in with open arms and unable to shake alexia from being stuck to your side even if you wanted to, it didn't take long before your place within the team felt cemented and secured.
but there was always just one thing lingering at the back of your mind day by day, jenni.
from the moment you'd both been introduced the older girl had kept an eye on you, unable to quite put her finger on what it was that had her so drawn toward you.
though the more time you spent together, even mostly in small groups, the closer you both became.
everything started to shift when after a particularly lavish win over real madrid and eight days between your last match and the next you all decided to go out that night as a team.
one or ten too many tequila shots consumed jenni was unable to keep her hands off of you as you pulled her with you to the dance floor, grinding your body against hers now it was flooded with liquid courage and too many shots of your own.
it was safe to say one thing lead to another and you found yourself waking up that next morning in a bed that wasn't yours, trapped by muscular tattooed arms that also weren't yours, and with your naked body pressed against another that also was not yours.
before you had time to panic and think of an escape route to avoid any awkwardness jenni had stirred beside you, one bright green eye cracking open tiredly as her lips curled into a lazy smile.
"so, does this mean i can take you to dinner tonight guapa?"
it didn't take many of those little dinners, lunches and drives to and from trainings with her and some certain added benefits, before you came to the abrupt and sudden realization that you wanted more, you wanted her.
though jenni beat you to the punch appearing on your doorstep that week with a large bunch of flowers and the signature bright eyed cocky smile you swooned for, asking you to be her girlfriend.
the striker was barely able to get the words out before you were nodding eagerly and launching at her, her laughter at you silenced as you'd smashed your lips to hers, flowers discarded on your kitchen counter as she was quick to carry you off to the bedroom.
and for the next couple of years you continued to only fall harder and faster for her, moving in together after a few months and rapidly ticking off the boxes one by one toward building a life together.
but everything came to a screaming halt when one night she'd sat you down and came clean about her intentions to move to mexico once her contract was up with barcelona at the end of the season.
you wanted to be mad, you wanted to yell at her and hit her and cry out about how she was leaving you and leaving the life you'd built together behind.
but you couldn't, you loved her far too much to ever be that selfish knowing that over the last couple of months that twinkle in her eyes when on the pitch had dimmed just a little.
so you promised it didn't change anything as you started to help her pack her half of your shared life together into boxes, spending nights curled up in bed together planning about how you could continue this on opposite sides of the world, blinded by the fierce love budding in your hearts for one another to even consider otherwise.
the day she finally moved you'd never deny she took a piece of your heart with her which you trusted she'd look after, your girlfriend having made your best friends promise to look after you in her absence as she left behind her own half a heart in your safe and trustworthy hands.
and for the first six months things seemed to be okay, they were far from perfect as your relationship did its best to career over the inevitable speed bumps of the now permanent distance between you two, but they were okay.
but in all your forward planning what you hadn't accounted for was jenni's jealousy turning from something you found endearing, to something far far more toxic when it inevitably began to rot at the foundation of your now long distance relationship.
at first in the honeymoon stages of getting together you'd found the older girls jealousy quite flattering knowing it came from a place of sheer adoration and infatuation with you.
you'd melt when jenni's hand would firmly wrap around your waist or sit on the small of your back when out in public together, part of her skin always needing to be touching you no matter what. the way that her lips would graze the back of your neck or your shoulder blade as she pressed her taller body against yours.
but when jenni moved to another country and suddenly she wasn't able to seek out that physical assurance you were hers and only hers, it started to eat at her much more than she felt able to communicate, the fear of how others might perceive you without her there to assert that you were a very happily taken woman eating away at her.
you'd go out with friends and be bombarded with call after call from your girlfriend, demanding to know a list of who you were out with and proof that you weren't lying.
you'd tried time and time again to ask her where this sudden distrust came from, the questions dismissed as jenni noticed through videos on your friends stories a few of the newer signings gawking at you in ways only she was allowed to, your body hers and hers only to fantasize about.
the rampant calls and constant need to know where you were and who you were with then shifted into trying to police what you wore. the moment you even hinted at leaving the house for a social commitment jenni would be face timing you and ordering you to allow her to pick your outfit.
of course this need of jenni's to seemingly control every little aspect of your freedom and autonomy didn't sit well with you, and you often found yourself lying about plans just to avoid the arguments you knew would arise when you didn't give into her every single demand.
this in turn only meant your fights became uglier, more personal, both of you knowing exactly where to hit the other where it hurt. then suddenly that fierce love which had kept you connected, that invisible string which was always drawing you together despite the distance, snapped.
you still loved jenni, you really really did, and she would always have that piece of your heart you'd given her to take when she'd left for mexico.
but you just couldn't continue on like it was between you both anymore.
when you'd initiated the conversation about how you were feeling and she'd for once made no move to argue with you or fight for the relationship, it hurt like hell but you knew you'd made the right choice as you both confirmed your split.
jenni had already been playing in mexico for a season when the two of you parted ways so at least it removed the awkward possibility of playing on the same team anymore and having to see one another near daily as you adjusted to life now properly apart.
unsure if it had been a blessing or a curse an invisible game of tennis seemed to occur, with you and jenni seeming to bounce from injury to injury between you, paths never crossing for months as you weren't called up to national duty at the same time.
you'd barely spoken since the break up bar a few very basic congratulations on achievements or apologies for injuries exchanged over instagram before you'd made the first move and unfollowed her which she followed suit, numbers never deleted from one anothers phones but texts threads long gone.
despite how much it hurt to see them one thing you couldn't seem to bring yourself to do was delete your pictures with jenni, instead moving them all to a locked folder in your camera roll which alexia had put a password on and refused to share with you 'for your own good'.
despite her obvious long term loyalty to you as your best friend for more years than could be counted on both hands you knew alexia and jenni were still friends, as your ex still was with most of your current team mates both for club and country.
which lead for the first few months following your break up to a series of icy interactions at social events for these shared friends, both of you refusing to even acknowledge the other despite your friends attempts to ease the tension which you both flat out denied was there, claiming you'd moved on and all was fine.
you hadn't of course, not even close.
you'd tried time and time again to be with other women but found yourself loathing your ex even more for the fact that no matter what you tried jenni still rented a permanent space in your mind, and no one compared to the way she knew you and your body.
you had no idea but it was the same situation for jenni, the striker throwing herself into countless situationships and hookups as a coping mechanism for the gaping chasm you'd left in her life since you exited it, but nothing came even close in satisfying her the way being with you had.
when it had hit almost a year since your split you were invited out for mapi's birthday, eager for a night of drinking and dancing after you were finally cleared medically after suffering a small tear in your hamstring.
since jenni was in town visiting friends and family she too had been extended an invitation, something you'd had no idea of given neither of you had the other on social media and jenni hardly felt obliged to send her ex a text message with a spontaneous heads up of her whereabouts.
"you didn't tell them!? por dios maría!" alexia smacked the younger girl upside the head when she'd revealed the truth as they got ready together, you running late as you'd had some car troubles, something in the past your now ex girlfriend would have been your first call for help, though now single you'd had to rely on a mechanic instead.
"you said you told them amor!" ingrid groaned in agreement as mapi shrunk under the disapproving gazes of the taller women in front of her.
"i want them both to come! if i told them they might not have gone, and it is my birthday. do i not get a say in who comes?" mapi tried to defend herself to no avail, shrinking further as both her best friend and girlfriend lectured her tirelessly.
but they were cut off as the buzzer went, mapi quick to dart away and punch in her code letting you into the building, grinning as you flipped her off through the camera and disappeared into the elevator, knocking on the door a few minutes later.
"feliz cumpleaños puta!" you sang out happily as the defender opened the door, nearly falling onto her ass as you launched at her in a bear hug.
"why do you two look so miserable? i know you hate fun ale but tonight is not about you." you dropped down from mapi's back and squeezed your best friends shoulder sympathetically who huffed and pushed you away making you grin.
"jenni is going tonight." alexia blurted out as both mapi and ingrid winced and you gave them a strange look, handing the birthday girl a bottle of tequila as she kissed your cheek gratefully and zoomed off to grab shot glasses.
"and this is why you both look so nervous? está bien amiga's, we're both big girls i'm sure we can be in the same room for a few hours." you chuckled, everyone surprised at your reaction but deciding not to push it further.
well, two out of three did as mapi returned and clapped calling for shots.
"alexia i will be on my very best behaviour, promesa. now stop scowling you will get wrinkles abuela!" you teased as mapi handed you both a shot and the brunette hummed. "you better be, i do not feel like breaking up a boxing match tonight." your best friends eyes rolled as you bumped your shoulder into hers.
"hey the only person who wants to fight me when i'm drunk is maría." you pointed out as you all downed your shots and the birthday girl laughed, clinking her shot glass against yours with a wink
"sí, and i always win!"
the room full of your friends cheering as mapi entered you and alexia broke away from the group which surged toward the birthday girl to greet her, heading toward the bar as jenni spotted you and nearly choked on her drink, misa hitting her on the back with a concerned look.
though as laia poked her and nodded in your direction everything suddenly made sense.
"what? i swallowed a bug." jenni dismissed the knowing looks from her friends, a slight blush coating your cheeks as her eyes couldn't help but note the very short dress hugging your curves in all the right places, something stirring in her stomach at the way alexia's arm wrapped around you as you both ordered a drink.
but she swallowed it down as quickly as it reared its head, turning her body away from you and making an effort to converse with the small group she was sat with, perfectly content with pretending you didn't exist.
you managed to avoid one another for most of the night, the group now halved as nearly everyone was tipsy to say the least and twirling one another around on the dance floor, poor ingrid left to babysit a very drunk mapi who had already been threatened with being kicked out as she tried to get up on the tables and dance.
"hola." jenni tensed a little at your voice as you finally appeared beside her, ordering a drink and leaning against the bar as your ex sent you a polite smile. "hola." she greeted back, fingers drumming anxiously against the counter top.
"cómo has estado?" you asked, raising an eyebrow as jenni looked back to you in surprise, assuming the simple hello would be all she'd get out of you which she'd been fine with.
"eh fine, and you?" she asked as you smiled, something which actually seemed sincere as it met your eyes. "only fine? you just won the league, no?" you laughed, a melodic little noise which jenni had forgotten how much she'd missed.
"sí, maybe a little better than fine then." jenni grinned, both of you falling comfortably into conversation as a few of your friends watched on cautiously from afar as if awaiting a bomb to go off.
but when after around ten minutes you hugged and parted ways their worries eased, both of you assuring everything had been friendly and you were just catching up, reminding that just because you'd not worked out romantically didn't mean one day you might not be able to be friends.
and in the moment both of you had truly believed that might be possible.
~
nearly a year of build up and finally it happened, the squad roster for the world cup and prep camp was announced and both your own and jenni's names were on it, you'd be playing together again for the first time since your split.
not having spoken since mapi's birthday an olive branch had still seemingly been extended, jenni following you again on instagram as after a couple of days you'd done the same though you'd not interacted bar a few odd likes on posts.
despite alexia's obvious concern you waved off her worries, assuring you had both come to an agreement of sorts at mapi's birthday that you'd like to try and be friends if not at least civil and polite with one another.
your best friend was suspicious but supportive, the two of you arriving to camp together and embracing all of your national teammates you'd not seen in months now as everyone spent the afternoon catching up.
and much to everyones surprise the entire camp and tournament you and jenni seemed on good terms, you'd not hung out or interacted very much one on one but given you were all quite close with the same small group when away on national camp you'd had no issues spending time together in that setting.
as you all flew to new zealand and the tournament kicked off you hugged one another after victories and consoled each other after the loss against japan, any lingering tension melting away as you settled into this new normal building between you both.
everything had been fine and it seemed like you were well on the right track to indeed being friends again, but then you'd won the world cup.
the night of celebrations following your victory had been hazy to say the least, alcohol flowing like water as you all danced and drank and celebrated late into the night.
you had no recollection of going to bed and so waking up with a body beside you you'd assumed it was likely alexia. given it wouldn't be the first time your best friend had dragged you to bed with her when you were far too drunk to walk there yourself.
but as you shifted and groaned quietly at the way your head pounded, an arm settled over your torso pulling you a little closer and you cracked one eye open, very quickly realizing you were half naked and there was an all too familiar ache in your lower body.
and the arm currently holding you was in fact not alexia's.
"oh dios mio. por favor no!" you groaned a little louder this time, burying your face in your hands as small snippets of last night flickered through your mind.
"oh sí, buenos días princesa!" jenni now lay awake beside you, arm retracting from your waist as she stretched with a grunt and flashed you an infuriatingly smug smirk. "do not call me that. get out!" you huffed, in denial that this was even happening right now.
"get out of my room?" jenni chuckled, rolling onto her side and pushing herself up a little, looking down at you as the smirk never left her lips and you continued to hide your face in your hands.
"this never happened. i was drunk, i didn't know what i was doing and you should have stopped it!" you sat up suddenly and shoved at your ex who scoffed as you bent over the edge of the bed, rummaging around the pile of clothes on the floor and pulling out a shirt quickly tugging it on and covering your naked top half.
"me? i tried! but you jumped me like a saltamontes, started grinding on me and dry humping my leg over and over like-" her words fell short as you filled with both rage and embarrassment lunged at her, hands raining down slaps on any inch of her you could connect with, jenni making a strange noise and shielding herself with her arms against the attack.
"vale! vale! this never happened." jenni finally caught your hands in hers as you scowled and pulled them free, slipping out of bed grateful you still had underwear on, clicking your tongue disapprovingly at your ex whose eyes roamed your bare legs.
"it never happened and it won't happen again." you warned, grabbing a pair of jeans which you thought were yours and wriggling yourself into them as jenni rolled her eyes.
"how would it never happen again if it did not happen once?" sitting up properly still half naked the older girl clearly had no shame as she ran a hand through her raven black hair, pushing it to one side of her head.
jenni stretching properly her breasts sat to attention and she caught your eyes flickering toward them as the smug smirk returned to her lips and heat crept up your neck as your gaze wrenched away.
but as you went to leave you heard her clear her throat, slowly turning back around and raising an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest.
"you have something of mine." jenni grinned holding up the other shirt which had been on the floor, turning it to show your number as you glanced down at the one you had on and sighed seeing it was indeed hers.
gesturing for her to toss your shirt to you she shook her head, still grinning at you only boiling your blood. "you first." she gestured for you to return her own top, knowing full well you had nothing else on underneath as your jaw clenched.
with a huff you stripped it off and hauled it at her with all the strength you could muster, the material hitting her in the face as you stormed over and snatched yours from her hand, quickly pulling it on and making a beeline for her door as jenni peeled her top from her face.
"hey chica!" you paused with another deep seeded sigh, hand on the door handle as you again turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow.
"your ass still looks perfecta in those jeans." your ex grinned as you withheld the urge to launch at her again, simply flinging her door open and yanking it closed with an angry slam.
jenni only chuckled and tossed her own shirt back to the floor, getting comfortable in bed intending to sleep for another few hours until you all needed to leave for the airport later in the day.
for the entire plane ride back and the rest of the post win celebrations now home in spain you steered well clear of your ex, using your hangover as an excuse which seemed to fly with the team who were too busy with their own post win endorphins to pay your odd behavior any attention.
it seemed despite that slip up jenni had agreed that in fact that night never happened, as the months passed and you didn't hear a word from her, not telling a single soul about where you'd woken up that morning.
you didn't see your ex again until a couple of months later toward the back end of october, both of you in london for the week with media commitments for adidas and the ballon d'or ceremony.
you knew from the schedule you'd been emailed that you'd not be able to avoid her, and with nearly all of your friends gushing about how great it was you and jenni were so mature and able to be so friendly despite everything, you knew you had to save face.
so you touched down in london with the lingering hope that maybe you could rectify the mistake made back in august in australia and try to get back on track as friends with the older girl.
the first time you saw her had been at a shoot with adidas for their newest boots, you and jenni of course booked in for the same morning session as the english girls also sponsored clenched the later slot with media of their own to attend to.
it seemed that jenni could in fact be mature when she wanted to as there was no jokes made about either your ass or that night you spent together, the striker truly nothing but friendly and professional.
what you failed to notice however was the way her eyes roamed over you as it was your turn to be photographed, clad only in bike shorts and a sports bra as jenni keenly noticed the new tattoo littering your back, knowing your body so well you could have had a new freckle and she would have picked up on it.
you tensed as the shoot was called for the day and a cold finger absentmindedly traced the dragon which wound down your spine. "i like this." jenni hummed, touch gone as soon as it had arrived as you pulled on a shirt and turned to face her.
"gracias." you smiled politely, called away by your agent before she could say another word, jenni's own attention also needed elsewhere. and for the next couple of days you avoided one another, none the wiser that in fact you were staying in the same hotel as your busy schedules kept you away for most of your time in london.
both of you having taken a few group photos together and exchanging pleasantries the night before at the ballon d'or ceremony, surrounded by other friends and teammates it was easy enough to avoid one another even if that hadn't been intentional.
it came as a surprise as jenni entered the bar of the hotel she was staying at, having waved off her management agency after the last meeting of the trip with now the final night in london to herself, and she spotted you already sat inside at a table by yourself where you'd also just wrapped up your final meeting of the trip.
"hola!" you looked up from your phone and sighed at the toothy grin which greeted you, jenni sitting herself right down opposite you before you could even say another word. "oh claro, do sit down." you chuckled with a roll of your eyes.
"gracias, have you eaten?"
the two of you again seemed to be mature enough not to bring anything up as you ate and drank, jenni of course making jokes about other things to pull any laughter from you she could.
the sound was addictive to her like a drug and you'd always teased her for being quite the jester, egging on she just needed to get a red nose tattooed next to which she'd just rolled her eyes at in amusement.
"i should go, early flight." you excused yourself politely once your plates were cleared, jenni signalling for the check as she caught the waiters eye.
"mine too, but this was nice." jenni smiled sincerely which you returned, a comfortable silence settling before the check was placed down and your ex grabbed it before you could, slipping her card in and handing it back.
"jenni!" you protested with wide eyes, a tattooed hand waving off your protests as her card was returned and you both stood to your feet, your arguments falling on deaf ears as you walked together to the elevator.
"you are so infuriating sometimes hermoso, i could have paid!" you rolled your eyes as the doors closed. "sí you could have, but if you wanted to then you should have been faster." jenni smirked, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall of the elevator.
as she did your eyes couldn't help but roam her body, the girl clad only in suit pants and a matching vest top leaving her tattooed muscular arms out on full display as something stirred within you and you cleared your throat looking away.
meanwhile jenni's own eyes wandered down to your exposed cleavage of the tight corset top you had on, jaw clenching as you inhaled and exhaled deeply sending your chest bobbing up and down which her gaze followed.
without either of you saying a single thing the energy in the elevator suddenly shifted, the floors seeming to slow as they passed one by one, both of your rooms on the upper levels as jenni's bright green eyes met yours.
though you'd only had a few wines at dinner you could feel the alcohol buzzing at the tips of your fingers and before either one of you could blink your lips smashed against one another.
the kiss was messy and clumsy as jenni's hands gripped your hips pressing you against the wall, yours cupping her jaw and grabbing the back of her neck deepening the kiss further.
tongues clashed against teeth and you withheld the urge to moan at the faint taste of red wine and spearmint gum in the older girls mouth, her tongue shoved down your throat as your breath hitched a little.
but just as quickly as you'd latched onto one another you pushed apart, chests heaving as the doors opened and jenni placed her foot across it to stop it closing right away.
"ven aquí." she rasped and pointed to the floor in front of her as you stepped forward and her hands fell either side of your face, her thumb carefully wiping away your now smudged lipstick as your heart rate accelerated again at the oddly tender gesture.
as the taller girl leaned down you puckered your lips assuming she'd kiss you again, only hers curled into their usual smug smirk as they ghosted your own.
"7012." was all she said, her touch disappearing as she stepped out of the elevator and turned, walking away from you without a single look back as you frowned and the doors closed.
you were stunned to silence as the elevator continued upward to your own floor, your skin burning where her hands had been just mere seconds ago.
the ghost of jenni's touch lingering against your body you loathed the way you craved for it to come back, and it was almost as if you blacked out as within what felt like seconds you were outside her door and knocking furiously on it.
"hola." she pulled it open and sang out with a cocky smile, leaning in the doorway as you huffed and forced your eyes not to drop down to where she'd unbuttoned her vest top, conveniently not wearing a bra.
"i don't want to get back together." you started firmly, jenni's smile never dropping from her face as she hummed. "neither do i." she shrugged, hands reaching out to settle on your waist.
slender fingers traced the slivers of skin which protruded from the slits down either side of the top you had on meaning you shivered a little causing her smirk to widen.
"so are you coming inside or would you like me to fuck you in the hallway?" the casual tone in which she said the words had your eyes widening as you looked around and slapped a hand over her mouth pushing her inside.
"nobody is around! relajarse." jenni laughed pulling your hand away as the door closed behind you. "this-" you gestured between the two of you. "-means nothing, sí?" you warned as sternly as you could manage with the predatory way she grinned down at you.
"i have missed the way you think you can boss me around." jenni smirked, advancing slowly toward you with a shake of her head as you huffed.
"we both know who really called the shots when we were together jennifer." you bit back, undeterred as her body met yours and walked you backward until your back hit the door, muscular arms caging you in as her large tattooed hands splayed against the wood either side of your head.
"maybe. but inside the bedroom that was not you, was it?" jenni tutted condescendingly, leaning down as her breath fanned your face. "oh and look where we are cariño? a bedroom." her cocky chuckled vibrated against your neck.
"so are you going to do something then?" you challenged as her head pulled back and she quirked an eyebrow, accepting the bait dangled as her hands grabbed your thighs and easily hoisted you up into her arms, your legs wrapping around her hips as you pressed your lips hungrily against hers.
with her hands occupied yours gripped the back of her neck, dominating the kiss for once and smiling against her lips as you sucked on her tongue and she moaned quietly only spurring you on further.
which is why when your back met the mattress you were quick to push her off of you, straddling her instead and connecting your lips again, only breaking apart as jenni tapped your hips and you pulled your top off as she did the same, both items tossed to the floor.
"hola mis chicas." jenni grinned at your decision to also not wear a bra as her veiny hands squeezed teasingly at your breasts and you groaned. "don't do that! mi dios you are like a horny teenage boy talking to them and that is not a turn on." you warned with a roll of your eyes.
"so bossy." jenni teased as her hands kneaded at them, lips millimeters from yours as suddenly her cold fingers sharply pinched your nipples causing a moan to fly out of your mouth and your head to flick backwards.
"i know how to deal with that though, don't i amor?" jenni cooed as her fingers teasingly tugged at your nipples and you could only nod at the mix of both pleasure and pain as her lips softly kissed at the column of your throat.
"what would everyone else say if they saw you right now hm?" jenni questioned as your hips began to rock against hers subconsciously and her large hands switched between both squeezing and pinching at your chest as her teeth tugged playfully on the lobe of your ear.
"jen no marks!" you warned with a gasp as she nipped at your neck, but her tongue was already licking over the fast forming bruise to soothe it by the time the words left your mouth.
"told you this ass looked perfecta mm? even better in these tight pants tonight cari." you moaned again as her hands trailed downwards to cup your ass instead, squeezing suddenly before you surged forward and captured her lips in a messy kiss.
"less talking more touching." you mumbled out as your hands rubbed across the strong muscles of her back. if you wanted to you could have traced each and every tattoo there from memory, the way your nails dragged against jenni's skin with a slight sting encouraged the girl under you to continue what she was doing.
you fought her to take over the kiss though with a sudden and sharp smack to your left ass cheek a small gasp was all it took for her to win dominance, other hand grabbing your jaw to hold your head still.
your bottom lip trapped between her teeth she tugged on it and gave you that trademark smug smirk, sucking it sharply back into her mouth as you exhaled and jerked on her lap, needing more.
"such a big mouth and bossy attitude but when it comes down to it bebita it is only good for one thing, sí?" jenni mocked, the air stolen from your lungs as suddenly you were beneath her again, shifting uncomfortably as you felt wetness gathering in your underwear though still trapped in the pants you'd worn to dinner.
your pupils dilated even further as her hair which was for once out fell down to frame her face, bright white teeth baring down at you as her strong tattooed hand came to wrap around your neck, squeezing gently to test the waters rewarding her with a small moan which had her ego inflating to the roof.
"but i will put your mouth to work a little later. now i think you need me to take care of you amor, tan impaciente y tan necesitado."
~
jenni wasn't surprised to wake up to an empty bed the next morning as you'd left for the airport already, every single trace of you gone from her room bar the few marks you'd left on her body and the slight ache between her legs which caused her to smile lazily at the memories of last night.
it was safe to say after that night the two of you fell into an understanding of sorts.
meaning that night was not a one time occurrence, both assuring one another each time that it meant nothing, jenni's eyes rolling as you reminded her over and over you had no intentions of getting back together despite her never asking you to.
you'd managed to keep everything between only the two of you, as far as you knew anyway as you'd not breathed a word to anyone of the late night encounters. sleeping together an additional four times as the months passed until you were both once again called up to spain for national duty and the nations league games.
but knowing there was dozens of your close friends around at all times, none of which were stupid, you had to be cautious not to alert them to anything. so the two of you remaining friendly you'd again and again brushed off jenni's attempts to get you into bed with her during camp.
though you couldn't resist her completely after delivering a crushing 7-1 victory over switzerland, your needs surpassing perhaps your logic as you caught jenni's eye in the change rooms after the match when the celebrations started.
neither of you needed to say a word to know what was going to inevitably follow later that night, but that didn't mean you didn't reap some joy in making her work for it.
all throughout the evening your ex had tried to again catch your eye to hint she'd like to head upstairs as the team celebrated in one of the conference rooms of the hotel.
family and friends welcomed as well you'd found yourself pulled into conversation with your best friends younger sister, alba chattering your ear off and introducing you to a few of her friends which had come to watch.
one of them in particular seemed to take a liking to you, and jenni found her patience wearing thin as with alexia distracted with the presence of her girlfriend nobody stepped in to pull your attention away from alba's incredibly handsy friend.
but knowing she had no claim over you or your focus anymore jenni did her best to distract herself, dancing until her feet felt they might drop off as misa tried time and time again to shove shots down her throat.
but jenni still hopeful of the night ending the way she wanted it to did her best to remain mostly sober, managing to palm off drink after drink to whomever of her teammates was closest at the time.
but as the night started to slowly wind down jenni didnt miss the way various other couples all disappeared together one by one and her yearning for you grew, her patience finally wearing thin.
watching you run a hand through your hair and tilt your head to the side with a loud laugh at something that was likely not very funny, jenni's blood ran cold knowing all too well that was how you flirted.
it was within seconds jenni had a scary realisation as emotions she'd kept bottled up all rose to the surface and she felt lightheaded.
jenni wasn't over you, not even close.
with that in mind the older girl knew the best and smartest move would now be to call it a night, take herself up to her room and recognize that these new feelings heavily complicated whatever arrangement had fallen between you both.
but no, that was far too logical and still with a yearning to follow through on what she'd planned, she made her move.
"hola." you looked up in surprise hearing jenni's voice as she stood behind you, alba's friend you'd been talking to giving her a curious look as jenni's hand squeezed your shoulder.
"you are?" the girl questioned jenni as you shook your head with a small smile at the way her hand stayed on your shoulder. "jenni, her girlfriend." but it was wiped away at that as your head whipped around to glare at her.
"ex girlfriend." you clarified firmly as alba's friend chuckled and pushed to stand up. "sounds complicated. maybe i will see you around barcelona!" she tipped her drink to you before wandering off as you pushed away jenni's hand and stood.
"you cannot help yourself can you?" you accused with arms crossed over your chest. "who, me? she looked like she was making you uncomfortable! i was just being a good friend, really." jenni smiled charmingly, fear causing her stomach to clench as you placed down your drink and walked off without a word.
"well, are you coming or not jennifer?" you called out over your shoulder, anybody within earshot far too drunk to care as jenni near tripped over her own feet in her haste to follow you out of the conference room.
not unlike that night in london the moment you were alone in the elevator your lips connected, though albeit a little more cautiously well aware that if the doors did open anyone could walk in.
you sprang away from one another the moment they did, attempting to straighten yourselves out as she walked just behind you toward your room which was closer than hers.
even with nobody around to see you were nervous as you opened your door and let her in, eyes scanning the empty hallway with a nod before you closed the door, her hands and lips right back on you the moment you did.
"you enjoy this, don't you?" jenni pulled away to question, one hand gripping your neck as the other rubbed small circles into your hip. "making you work for something? very much so." you hadn't answered the question she'd really been asking, too horny to catch onto the hidden meaning as you flashed her a grin.
your smug smile only grew as jenni pushed your body against the wall with a thump, veiny tattooed hands firmly clasping either side of your face and tilting your head back so her tongue could explore every single inch of your mouth as her lips pressed hungrily against yours.
"why did we break up again?" the taller girl pulled away and rasped, both your chests heaving slightly before her lips attacked yours once more.
"you’re stubborn, controlling, argumentative and immature." you mumbled out in between kisses, your own hands slipping up her shirt and pressing against her abs.
"oh is that all?" jenni let you go with a chuckle, grabbing your hands where they were wandering and pinning them against the wall by your sides with a quirk of her eyebrow.
"no you also have jealousy issues, shit tattoos and a superiority complex." you smirked up at her as the older girl snickered and shook her head, letting go of your hands and instead grabbing at your thighs as you jumped on instinct.
"mm princesa now you are just hurting my ego." jenni pouted sarcastically, the two of you now at eyeline as she spun around and walked you both toward the bed, a small hiss leaving your lips as jenni nipped sharply at your neck, tanned skin trapped between her teeth.
"did I mention that’s also grossly inflated?" you breathed out as your back met the mattress and the striker hovered over you with a wolfish grin, jet black hair falling around the two of you like a curtain.
"maybe once or twice." "bien, someone has to keep it in check."
"again with that big mouth cari." jenni tutted, eyes roaming your face with a smirk as your own lips curled upward and you shrugged. "you've always loved it, its not nice to lie." you exhaled, eyes fluttering closed as her hands slipped up your shirt.
"sí, but i much more enjoy the pretty little sounds i can pull from it." jenni teased as you gasped, her hand suddenly slipping down into your shorts and gently caressing you where you needed her though over your underwear.
but right as it seemed your needs would be met her hand retracted and she sat up, shuffling back a little to sit against the headboard of your bed.
"fuera de." her fingers tugged at the bottom of your shirt, making no move to undress herself as you raised an eyebrow but moved to stand, pulling off both your shirt and your bra as your ex watched on through hooded eyes.
"todo." jenni clicked her tongue and nodded to your shorts as you tried to join her on the bed again, rolling your eyes but pulling them down to your ankles, a little slower than really needed as you smirked at the way her eyes never left your now bare chest.
as much as jenni always appreciated your ass, she would always be a boob girl at heart and you knew exactly how to use it to your advantage to get what you wanted.
"you now." you spoke up as jenni smiled and looked like she wanted to say something but stood none the less, ridding herself of her shirt but keeping on both her shorts and sports bra.
"todo." you mocked her earlier word, pointer finger snapping teasingly at the waistband of her shorts with a grin as she towered over you her head shook and she let out a chuckle.
"no." was all she spoke before suddenly you were pinned beneath her on the bed, hands either side of your head and hips pressed to the mattress under her own.
"remember guapa, you like to think you are in charge but that is never the case. is it?" jenni cooed, face hovering just above yours with a teasing grin, letting go of your hands in favour of playing with your chest instead as your eyes closed.
but jenni knowing your own body perhaps better than you did with a sharp tweak of your nipple in her left hand and her mouth sucking at the right a loud moan left your lips as your hands now free tangled in her hair.
your breath caught in your throat as without warning her other hand pulled down your underwear, pushing herself up and off of you for a moment to allow her to kick the black lace away from your ankles in one simple maneuver before she settled herself back on top of you.
"jen por favor!" you breathed out, now uncomfortably wet and needing her to do something about it. "mm what? use that big mouth to tell me what you want and maybe you will get it querida." jenni teased, your mouth opening and closing as her hand trailed slowly down your bare stomach.
"need you." you managed out as her other hand found its home wrapped around your neck, squeezing lightly as you moaned and the sound was music to her ears, rewarded with a kiss that had your head spinning for it.
"need me..." jenni cooed in your ear as she pulled away, teasingly pushing one finger inside you as your hips bucked but she pushed them back down into the mattress with her own, squeezing your neck again when you didn't answer.
"normally so much to say hermosa, no problem running your mouth to your little friend tonight no?" jenni teased, slowly pumping the single digit in and out only causing your need for her to grow as you moaned again.
"do you wish it was her here instead of me? her fingers inside you and her tongue in your mouth? zorrita." jenni hissed in your ear as another finger joined the first and her pace sped up slightly.
though not anywhere near close to what you needed from her you tried to grind upward, the hand which had been wrapped around your neck moving to press against your bare stomach forcing your body to sink deeper into the soft mattress beneath you.
growing impatient of her teasing and with cheeks flushed red your hand flew to tangle in her hair, grabbing a fistful and tugging on it with a huff.
"cállate y fóllame!" you ordered, though it came out much less stern than you'd hoped as your head pushed back into the mattress when her fingers pumped faster.
"mi niña buena. there's that little mouth!" jenni grinned as a string of curses left your lips and you squirmed beneath her, the coil in your stomach starting to tighten as her skilled slender fingers pistoned rapidly in and out of you.
"i'm close! jenni i'm gonna come." you manged to gasp out, nails scratching down her back as you neared the edge. "no, hold it." your eyes flew back open at her words, staring up at her in disbelief as she smirked down at you.
"i can't." "you can." "no jenni por fav-"
"be a good girl and wait." jenni growled as she felt your walls clench around her fingers, feet twitching as you let out a pornographic moan.
"who makes you feel like this? who knows your body best preciosa?" jenni questioned, grinning as her fingers slowed and you whined needily. "answer me." you hissed as her teeth clamped down on your nipple and your hips bucked.
"you, fuck you jenni!" you managed to spit out, wolfish grin widening as she kissed between your breasts and sped her fingers up again.
"so close, jen please!" you begged, unable to hold on much longer as her fingers pumped in and out and in out, her spare hand kneading your chest and tweaking lazily at your overly sensitive nipples as you slipped and tripped not to fall over the edge without her say so.
"sí, such a good girl. come for me amor!" with her permission it barely took another two seconds before your body spasmed under hers and jenni gently coaxed you through your orgasm, slowing down the thrusts of her fingers.
but you barely had time to recover before suddenly her tongue was replacing them and your hands tangled in her hair with a moan. "jesus!" you hissed out as she pinched your clit and her tongue skillfully darted in and out of you, and within what felt like seconds you were on the brink of coming again.
this time jenni made no move to stop you as she shamelessly ate you out, her mouth never leaving you and you were sure she would coax a third orgasm from you but incredibly oversensitive you pulled at her hair and she retracted.
"vale?" jenni questioned as she moved to lay beside you instead, her voice now softer and with an air of slight concern as you nodded, just needing a moment to collect yourself as you caught your breath.
once you had it was no surprise to your ex girlfriend when now you moved on top of her, stamina restored as a smile curled into your lips and her hands palmed at your ass with a grin.
"my turn."
~
“so cariño since I am the only woman who makes you feel so good. can I take you out for dinner tonight?” jenni grinned with a victoriously cocky glint in her eyes at your words from last night as you only smiled and stepped forward so you were chest to chest with the taller girl.
“oh jennifer when will you learn that the things i say when you are holding my orgasm hostage-“ you leaned up even closer, warm breath fanning her lips which never strayed from the widespread grin as she leant in to close the gap.
“-don’t count.” and with one small push to her chest you sent her stumbling backwards out the door which promptly closed in her face.
“so is that a maybe to dinner then?” the older girl called out hopefully, receiving only silence in reply as she huffed and lightly kicked at your door.
glancing to her right jenni deflated further seeing misa, laia and alexia of course only a few feet away all headed downstairs for breakfast.
“do not say it.” the tattooed striker grumbled as misa sent her a knowing smirk and laia looked on in a mixture of amusement and surprise, both girls hurrying to catch up with their friend as alexia hung by your door to yell at hers.
when the rapid knocks sounded you rolled your eyes assuming it was yet another dinner invitation, jenni having spent the morning trying in a variety of different ways to con you into a 'friendly meal'.
"venga jenni i told you that-" you started as you pilled it open, the words dying in your mouth at the blazing hazel eyes which bore back at you.
"oh. hi ale!" you chirped with a charming smile, your best friend humming clearly unimpressed and forcing her way inside, shouldering past you as you sighed and closed the door after her.
"dios mio it smells like sex in here." the blonde scoffed bluntly as you cringed and alexia started to sit on the corner of your bed before noticing the messed up linen and quickly thinking better of it.
though as the older girl went to sit on the arm chair in the corner you subtly shook your head. "aquí?" alexia asked in disbelief as you grimaced lightly, shaking your head again as she went to lean on the desk, recoiling away with a face of disgust.
"everywhere? increíble!" she gasped with wide eyes as you winced, you and jenni having made much use of the variety of different surfaces in the room last night alongside your shared high stamina.
with a guilty smile you gestured to the bathroom as alexia rolled her eyes but none the less you followed her in there, your best friend sitting on the edge of the bath as you pulled yourself up to sit on the vanity counter.
"explain, now." alexia ordered sternly as you sighed, mind racing to try and find a way out of this. "we....caught up?" you tried with a hopeful smile, face falling as alexia's own remained unwavering, lips pursed into a thin line.
"your ex girlfriend just stumbled out of your room before breakfast and it smells in there like a fifteen year old boy who has just discovered porn!" alexia observed as you winced, opening your mouth to explain but the older girl held up a finger and grabbed out her phone.
"ale what are you-" "hola?" a voice mumbled tiredly as alexia clicked speaker phone, the girl on the the end of the line clearly half asleep as you rolled your eyes.
"really? why do we have to involve her!" you groaned as alexia quickly caught your other best friend up on what she'd walked into. "puta furtiva!" mapi gasped now much more awake at the new information.
"you are getting back together with jenni?" mapi asked as alexia raised an eyebrow clearly also wanting to know the answer. "no we are not getting back together!" you answered with a firm shake of your head.
"but you are sleeping with her again?" mapi questioned as again alexia raised an eyebrow making your eyes roll. "it was one time." you lied dismissively as both your best friends somehow hummed in sync making you give alexia a strange look as if she had grown a second head.
"okay it was a few times. its no big deal!" you scoffed dismissively as mapi gasped again and alexia's eyes narrowed. "when did it start?" the girl questioned as mapi echoed the question curiously.
"the world cup." you mumbled, looking down to the floor and whining as alexia suddenly smacked your thigh and fixed you with a glare. "hit her again for me!" mapi piped up on the phone as you kicked the older girl away as alexia leaned over to do just that.
"in my defense i do not remember that time! i was very drunk as we all were that night. i woke up in jenni's bed the next morning and everything else is still a blur." you sighed honestly, rubbing your face tiredly.
"so if you do not want to get back with her then why are you sleeping with her amiga?" alexia asked accusingly.
"well ale. normal human beings have these feelings called needs, and when you have needs it is sometimes more pleasurable to satisfy them with another human being and not by yourself. but i would not expect a robot like you to understand that!" you pouted sarcastically and jerked your knees up to your chest as your best friend scowled and tried to hit you again as the other one cackled on the other end of the phone line.
"adios maría." alexia huffed in annoyance at the assumed betrayal. "hey wait wait no don't-" but the defender was cut off as alexia clicked end call and slid her phone back into her pocket.
"are you mad at me?" you sighed as the blonde stood up from the bath. "no, a little disappointed you did not tell me but you're an adult who can sleep with whoever she likes." alexia shook her head as she stood to her feet.
"but?" you encouraged sensing she wasn't quite finished, your best friends hands falling either side of your face. "but please be careful, i do not want to see you hurt again, sí?" her eyes now shone with concern as you nodded.
"good. i cannot handle the lack of sleep it would take to be on the phone with you all night while you cry and cry and cry over her again." alexia kissed your forehead and let you go.
"hey!" the affectionate gesture distracted you for a moment before her words sunk in and offence followed, a smile curling into her lips as you pulled yourself off the counter and followed her back into your room.
"now por favor clean this up and spray some perfume or something, even the poor hotel staff do not deserve to deal with this." alexia's nose crinkled in disgust as your eyes rolled and you shoved her.
"honestly putellas you are so dramatic."
~
right up until that point you were sure that you didn't want to get back with your ex girlfriend, quite content with the current arrangement you had going on.
but a small freak accident the next day at lunch following training put a lot of things into perspective.
you were so exhausted after a brutal gym session that you hadn't paid enough attention to the food put on your tray, following after alexia to a table and sitting down wedged between her and irene.
near starving you hastily shoveled food into your mouth, ignoring your friends attempts to speak with you much to their amusement as laia, misa and jenni took the other vacant seats at the table.
you'd barely swallowed two mouthfuls of food before something felt funny, and you tried to swallow again but started to panic when you couldn't, your fork dropping to the table with a clatter as you began to wheeze.
"hey hey hey, breathe!" alexia tried to help but you shook your head, your throat starting to swell up as panic set in and you began to make a strange honking noise.
"there's peanuts in this, she has eaten peanuts." jenni was the first to realise right away what was going on, eyes wide in fear as they met alexia's who could only open and close her mouth.
"mierda." jenni hissed, on her feet and sprinting off in seconds as both staff and your team mates all hovered by unsure how to help you as the medical officers arrived and you clawed at your throat, moved to sit on the ground as your face began to go blue.
"move!" jenni ordered sternly, elbowing her way in and dropping to her knees, a bright orange epipen in her hand as she rolled up the hem of your shorts and stabbed it into your thigh, clicking the top as the epinephrine entered your system and started to fight the allergic reaction.
"estarás bien amor, estarás bien." jenni promised softly, pushing your hair out of your face as your hands grabbed hers and squeezed, the swelling starting to ease as someone pushed a bottle of cold water into your hand, jenni snatching it and pressing it against your throat.
the staff now having shooed most of your team mates away as to not crowd you only jenni and alexia remained by your side, your best friend gently rubbing your back as her own body trembled with fear and jenni softly caressed your cheek as your breathing began to even out again.
"okay chicas, some space please." one of the medical staff asked gently as alexia backed up and jenni tried to but you grabbed her hand and shook your head.
"vale, i am right here." the girl promised, helping you up to your feet as your body sagged into hers and both her and the medical staff member guided you out of the cafateria and toward the makeshift medical office, where jenni had ran off to in order to grab the epipen.
helped up and onto a padded med bench you sat back and sipped slowly at some water, your blood pressure tested and a quick check of the back of your throat showing the epinephrine was working as the swelling was near gone.
you were aware of jenni in the room still, talking quietly with one of the medical staff as your eyes remained closed and you sucked on an ice cube, working on evening out your breathing.
"gracias." you managed to wheeze out with a small smile as the staff member stepped out of the room, jenni pulling herself up to sit beside you on the padded bench.
"how did you know?" you croaked out after a few minutes of silence passed between you, turning to look up at her as she smiled. "because i know you. and had i been near you when you were getting food i'd have known not to let you get the noodles because they have traces of peanuts, estúpido!" she teased, gently bumping her shoulder into yours.
"but how did you-" "i still remember. all the foods you can and cannot have, even with just traces." jenni admitted, a slight blush coating her cheeks at the admission as she avoided your eyes.
at that small confession a tidal wave of emotions crashed over you and you sat there in silence trying to process them, jenni not pushing you to speak but staying by your side as she'd promised earlier, though if you asked her to she would leave.
it was then that you realised with her small admission of even just such a simple thing as remembering your allergies, the obvious care from the older girl had forced you to no longer ignore what had been glaringly gnawing at you for months now, you weren't over jenni, not even close.
"jenni." you spoke up as she hummed, turning to look down at you as now you avoided her eyes. "i do not think i can do this anymore. the sleeping together, the sneaking around, i do not think it is a good idea." you forced out, expecting her face to fall but missing the way she paused.
"why?" she asked softly, trying not to get her hopes up as you sighed. "its...too complicated." your answer somehow filled her with even more hope, a hand settling cautiously on your knee but when you made no move to push her away she relaxed a little.
"hey, look at me." you did as she asked, her eyes searching yours for a moment before speaking again. "i still love you cariño, more than i have been willing to admit to myself." jenni confessed, the words terrifying her but knowing no matter the outcome she needed to get them off her chest.
"i know i did not fight for you when we broke up, and i think that will always be my biggest regret." jenni continued, spurred on as your hand gently settled on top of hers which still sat at your knee, a small nod encouraging her further.
"but i think-no i know. i know now that i needed this time to realise that you are what matters, not how other people look at you in a club or what you wear when you go dancing or who is around you when i am not there. i lost sight of what mattered when i let other people take priority in our relationship over you." jenni exhaled shakily, your thumb gently rubbing over her knuckles, frown on your face though not one of judgement.
"i know we live on opposite sides of the world, and there is still a lot of work to mend what was broken but, and perdóname for being so forward, but if i do not say this now then i will not say it. is there a chance for us to...well, be us again?" jenni laid everything down in front of you, not pushing anymore than that as another silence fell between you both.
"i think you are right, there is still a lot of work to be done and it will take a lot of time to get back even close to how we used to be. i do not want to be hurt again and to build that trust back will take time as well." you started softly, jenni nodding along hanging off your every word.
"but i think, i think maybe we could start to get back to the basics. i love you too jenni, actually i do not think i ever really stopped."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and fin! there shall be no part two to this, you can use your imaginations to dream up if they did/didn't get back together. meanwhile i will continue to be an overthinking nervous wreck about taking the jump of posting smut for the first time. will i wake up tomorrow and delete this? maybe, who knows! only time shall tell
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