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sweetescapeartist · 3 years

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MY DBS MANGA CHAPTER 70 REVIEW

We learn in the last chapter that the Cerealian Dragon's name is Toronbo when Granolah speaks Namekian. Toronbo grants Granolah's wish but can't make Granolah stronger than the gods.

Here's the confusion I have... Goku is a mortal beyond GoDs so making Granolah the strongest mortal is making him stronger than gods. If you wanna say Beerus has been training and is now stronger than Goku, there's still a problem. It was said that Goku and Vegeta were stronger than some GoDs right before the ToP (but that might be anime only, so maybe it doesn't apply here). So Granolah is stronger than GoDs no matter what. If the gods that Toronbo is speaking of are the Angels, then that means Granolah is Ultra Instinct level of power since Goku is the lowest in Angel tier. But whatever. Bottom line is Granolah is temporarily stronger than Goku who may or may not be stronger than Beerus.

Granolah gets his wish granted and the cost is shortening his life... cool. Not much to say except let's see how its executed.

(I recently read that in DBXV2, during the Infinite History Saga, Videl is enchanted with Towa's Dark Magic spell by Dabura shaving off her life but granting her greater power. So granting power at the cost of lifespan has been done in DB before. Not in canon but in the games.)

Also, Granolah's life being shortened to 3 yrs got me thinking... Currently it's almost AGE 781 in the DBS manga timeline. Goku leaves to train Uub in AGE 784. We got 3 yrs left. The original manga shows Bulma said she hadn't seen Goku in 5 yrs. How I see DBS is that it is an alternate timeline that just happens to have a similar outcome to the EoZ.

So... why is Vegeta learing from Beerus again if Beerus isn't that strong now? Is Vegeta being like Krillin and continuing his learning from a master weaker than him, but gaining wisdom & knowledge? I-is Vegeta becoming Krillin 2.0?! (More like dollar-store Krillin)

I do think beerus got stronger tho. He seems very confident that Vegeta can get stronger from learning from him. Beerus probably saw Goku get UI then decide to train aftet the ToP

Anyways, Beerus is teaching us about hakai/destruction energy. Its erasing something from existence, not just destroying it (we already knew that). But, Vegeta quickly figures out how to do it anyways. By destroying a tiny pebble...

A tangent again but I personally think Piccolo is capable of easily learning Hakai energy. Think about it. Piccolo can create clothing out of nothing, why could he not do the reverse?

Goku is uninterested in what Beerus & Vegeta are doing. I dont know about you, but it sounds like Goku thinks that he's above Beerus in strength. Beerus & Vegeta aren't considered a challenge to him in any way. Goku sees UI as more important & better than anything Beerus has to teach, and Goku is right. Plus Goku learned Hakai on his own while Vegeta needs Beerus to teach him. It's a waste of Goku's time to learn it again.

(God Comics is funny. I imagine Toribot writes them)

Goku says "Let's see which one of us can be the strongest in the universe!" Really, Goku...? At present time, Goku is the strongest mortal in the universe already. He should know that. Then Vegeta for some reason thinks he will become the strongest in the universe. The last time manga Vegeta was the strongest mortal in the universe was... never. He's always behind Goku or whatever new opponent arises. This scene is meant to be comedic that they're arguing over who will be the greatest but it's not funny to me. And yet Vegeta fans still hold on for hope.

But why is Goku concerned about being the strongest between him & Vegeta? Goku is far above Vegeta. They're not rivals at this point. Also, Goku was the strongest in the universe until just a few moments ago. Goku should be saying "I knew bein' the strongest wouldn't last for too long. Roshi did tell me there will always be somebody stronger out there. Hehe! This is gettin' me excited! I can't wait to meet 'em!" (This would alsp parallel Monaito giving Granolah the same advice Goku already knows.)

Also, I guess Broly isn't that strong after all. Bye Broly, you served your purpose. And to think that Goku had said that he thinks Broly is stronger than Beerus...

Oh yeah. So Vegeta destroys a pebble. Impressive? Goku kinda gives a compliment or he is practically saying "Good job Vegeta! You're doing great following in my footsteps!" Seriously, this would be so much better and cooler if this seperate paths of training began right after the Universe 6 vs Universe 7 tournament. That would be the perfect spot to have them train under Beerus & Whis. [Vegeta using Hakai against Merged Zamasu, Goku able to fight Merged Zamasu temporarily because he is getting better at letting his body move on its own, Toppo & Vegeta using Hakai against each other as Goku & Jiren use power above GoDs. That would work so much better.]

Then Vegeta says he's gonna destroy bigger things soon... is that supposed to be more impressive? Its not. But this it to build up Vegeta even though there is nothing amazing about anything he is doing at the moment. Maybe later tho.

So Cerealians can't grow beards. Also I guess Granolah's race don't age? His hair grew when his lifespan was shortened but he has no wrinkles. It seems that they age more gracefully than Saiyans. If he has some wrinkles he would have looked cooler imo. Or those lines under the eyes at the very least. If the wish shortened his life & made his hair grow, it should have also showed that he aged. (Here's an edit I made of "Grampa Granolah." You're welcome)

And remember Vegeta destroying a pebble? Granolah can suddenly destroy big rocks! Cool right?! No? Its not cool? Showing Granolah destroy a much larger object right afterwards kinda belittles Vegeta's accomplishment.

Oatmil is surprised by a boulder exploding. This means one of 2 things. Oatmil is stupid & never saw an Granolah explode a boulder. Or it's implying that the boulder exploding is some technique Oatmil doesn't know of. Idk how he can tell its any different from just blowing up a rock with ki. I think it's supposed to be destruction energy. If it is then, ok. If getting his wish was so easy, then why can't he suddenly learn destruction as well?

Yay! Monaito! (This really should be a Namekian focused arc)

Granolah reminds me of Zamasu with his attitude a bit. Monaito tells him somebody stronger will definetly appear. Granolah has become like Vegeta and is over confident, so he is destined to get humbled. And think about this. Goku can probably train a bit and surpass Granolah within a week.

Granolah can now sense ki. Meaning he can have the destruction technique or UI, because why not?

Monaito blames himself for Granolah's actions. Its not your fault Monaito! You did nothing wrong! Dont be so hard on yourself.

Whis being a creep and peeping on people lol.

Granolah's hair growing was pointless because he cuts it off soon after. Nothing changed visually. This kinda reminds me of how Moro lost his arm. Goku gave him a senzu, Moro grew it back, & then Moro broke his arm when attacking Goku. Then Moro tore his arm off & reattached his old one. There was no need for Moro to grow his arm back then tear it off. Similarly, there is no need for Granolah to have grown long hair then cut it off.

Maki still brings a smile to my face. She & Gas stand out the most out of the Heeters. Maki's personality is kinda like Zangya combined with a teasing Bulma. Gas reminds me of a Krillin/Piccolo fusion with dreadlocks. I also ship Maki x Gas cause they're short and look cute together. (please don't be siblings so I can draw them together🤞)

Granolah fights Oil & Maki. I'm not impressed. They seem like they could be defeated by Chaoitzu (he's stronger than Raditz and probably Nappa now too). Granolah's movements could be seen as UI. If it is or isn't UI, it doesn't matter. Showing off that kind of power is like Goku using Ultra Instinct during a rematch with Nam or King Chappa. Its not effective storytelling. There had to be a better way of showing Granolah's new strength than making him fight opponents that give him zero challenge.

The art is good as usual and the panel flow is nice. Toyotaro is improving at creating the illusion of motion. The environment being used in the fight was smart and a good visual. Toyo still uses a ton of panels almost every page tho. But he's still a better artist than I am.

Granolah appears to have used Hakai again. Not the explosive variant but the sand variant (yes I think there are 2 ways of using Hakai).

The "Sand Variant" that Beerus & Goku (& maybe Granolah) have used.

The "Explosive Variant" Beerus & Vegeta (& maybe Granolah) have used.

Maki thinks the "Hakai" is magic so that's interesting. I would say I'd like for the next enemy to be a magic user but, we know how Moro turned out... 😓

Maki has "ki claws" & I like the idea but it would be better if she had used it against an enemy she can defeat. It doesn't make her look useful in this fight. Gas seems confident when he is about to fight Granolah, but Elec stops him. Gas would've gotten beaten but it make ya wonder what Gas can do.

Granolah appears to be a person that is easily manipulated and persuaded. He even gave information they weren't even asking for. He'll probably be easily convinced and manipulated by Freeza/the Hedters or quickly have a truce with Goku.

The Heeters plan to go to Planet Cereal to get the Dragon Balls. As I suspected, the Cerealian Dragon Balls were created so that it would be easy for wishes to be granted. Gathering 2 Dragon Balls on a nearby planet instead of gathering 7 on New Namek or Earth. Plus these new Dragon Balls ensures no interaction between Earthlings & Granolah/the Heeters. A perfect way to write Gohan & company out of the story... *sigh* 😔😒

We learn Cerealians live for 2 centuries. How's that compare to other races in Universe 7? Freeza & King Cold apparently can live more than 200 yrs, But that may be because they are mutants. Namekians can live for like 500 yrs & its possible for them to reincarnate themselves too. So in a way, Namekians can live forever. Saiyans stay youthful & live to be in their 80's, but rapidly age when they reach their 60's or 70's. Average Earthlings appear live to be in their 80's or 90's but some are over 100 yrs old (Dr. Briefs, Panchy, & Ox King are in their 90's in GT) and others can increase their lifespan through elixers or the Paradise Herb. Just some thoughts of mine.

Maki says "If he ices Freeza..." Ha, an ice pun. Elec wants to defeat Freeza so he can control his army. Its revealed they wanna kill Granolah & that they worked with Freeza to destroy his planet & race. Well... that more than likely means they're gonna die by Granolah's hand or Freeza's. This info is also an attempt to make the reader more sympathetic for Granolah. Granolah is too bland (pun intended) so I don't feel any more sympathy than I already had for him. Elec plans to make Goku & Vegeta fight Granolah since Granolah hates Saiyans. Smart but we all kinda expected it. Not bad writing tho.

The final panel talks about fate bringing the 3 (Goku, Vegeta, & Granolah) together. Sounds like a repeat of the Broly movie.

We've had 4 chapters in this arc & not 1 panel of Freeza... If Freeza doesnt appear & do something in the next chapter then I will be disappointed in the writing. Showing Freeza here and there would give tension and build up until we get the encounter with him. We also have no idea who Oatmil is. Is he an A.I. or a person? Not that big of a deal yet, but I would like to find out soon. Either show Freeza or tell us more about Oatmil next chapter pleaae

This chapter was like oatmeal (the food not the character) without butter, brown sugar, milk, & honey or raisins. Not bad, but not very good either.

So here's my thoughts on the things that could or could not happen in this arc.

Goku vs Granolah. I don't care for the fight because the power is at a point that it doesnt make sense for enemies to get to without cheating somehow. The fight will look cool but I have no interest in it.

Vegeta vs Granolah will have Vegeta being stomped as always and Vegeta fans will make excuses & complain how it's not fair. A lot of Vegeta fans often make fun of Yamcha & Krillin for getting beat up even though those 2 bravely fight opponents leagues stronger than they are. Vegeta has gotten stomped by opponents more times than Krillin & Yamcha combined but the fans gotta deflect somehow. I don't care to hear or see the complaining again.

The interaction and dialogue between Granolah & Vegeta is going to be more interesting than their fight. But I worry because Toyo isn't the best at writing dialogue.

I have no reason to care about power growth, certain interactions, or Goku & Vegeta's training.

What I am curious about/want to see?

Monaito's well being. I want him to reunite with other Namekians. But I think he's been set up to die.

Lore about the dragon gods & Namekian lore we probably wont get.

I want Piccolo, Krillin, Gohan, & others will be involved. Piccolo because of the Namekian & wosh granting dragon lore. Gohan because his interaction with Granolah eould be interesting since Gohan is half Saiyan & views himself as an Earthling. Krillin & other Earthlings because they can bring tensions where characters like Goku & Vegeta can't. Those 2 are too strong for there to be any real tension. However Earthlings aren't all powerful so them using wits to survive is more exciting. But I doubt any of their involvement.

How long a Cerealian year is? Is it shorter than a Namekian year? How much time will pass for the Cerealian Dragon Balls to be active? How much stronger than Granolah will Goku get? Hopefully the answers aren't lazy...

Will Beerus finally fight somebody? There are 6 mortals that are near or above his power (Goku, Granolah, Vegeta, Broly, Freeza, Gohan).

Who's the villian of the next arc & what explanation is going to be given for them having power on the level of Angels? Angel tier fights don't sound interesting to me anymore. After those kinds of battles, Goku will have no challengers left.

Will Goku disappear to train or something so the story can TRY to match up with the EoZ?

Will Goten, Trunks, & Marron hit their growth spurts within 3 yrs?

Will we get spin-off manga about other characters? PLEASE!? 🙏

Also DBS moved too quickly when it comes to power. Now we're at the point that Goku & Vegeta need to stop being involved in fights for there to be any actual threat or tension. The Buu saga took place in AGE 774. After training for 4 years of peace, Goku thought SS3 & fusion was his limits as a Saiyan and he was right. Well, kinda... Goku was introduced to god ki near the end of AGE 778. Then in AGE 781, Goku masters Ultra Instinct... He mastered an Angel technique in 2 year or 2.5 yrs. That was waaaay too fast. As a result the storytelling & writing are suffering from this rushed progress. Now we're gonna have an Angel tier opponent? According to the pattern of DBS, Goku's gonna end up surpassing the Angels within 2 or 3 yrs after learning god ki. Thats not impressive for Goku, that's terrible writing. And no, Goku getting this strong so fast is not a benefit to Saiyans either. It just shows us that without god ki, Saiyans ain't all that powerful unless they're the legendary Saiyan like Broly. Saiyans didn't even have a concept of training until Goku was trained by Earthlings. Gohan, Freeza, 17, & I'm pretty sure Piccolo as well have all surpassed SS3 without the help of god ki. God ki makes Saiyans look like they have limits. With god ki, the writing is broken....

I got off topic again... Anyways that's the end of my review.

#dbs manga review #dbs manga #dragon ball #db #dragon ball super #dbs #edited out the 10 yrs of peace because the original manga never says that

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cozyforjate · 3 years

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MacGyver 5x03-Review

MacRiley fam, this will be my last MacGyver review. Thanks for the support and the great feedback on my reviews so far. You guys are awesome! But i’m taking a looong break from this show. I’ll be watching the Jack episode and if we get a Bozer, Matty or Riley centric i’ll tune in to watch. But my passion and excitement for this show is mostly over now.

I have so many things to say about 5x03 but if i start to express all my feelings i’m afraid i might break Tumblr. LOL

This probably wouldn’t feel like a proper review coz i’m gonna focus on the RETCON that the writers pulled out of their asses to keep MacDesi together.

Ok so for people who are not familiar with the word “retcon”; it means changing an aspect of a fictional work by introducing a piece of new information, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

The writers usually pull a retcon, when one aspect of an already canon plot isn’t working well. You can call it a “fix-it” method.

In terms of MacDesi, they retconned some moments from season 4 that defined this relationship. I think the new showrunner and the writers team realized that MacDesi has become quite “toxic” during season 4. But because the additional episodes kept them together, they needed to at least fix this relationship.

From their POV it’s understandable to a degree. But from a viewers POV it’s total BS. Because what we watched in season 4, can’t be changed.

We remember the unhealthy dynamic between them, we remember the lack of trust between them, we remember how incompatible they were, we remember how they couldn’t communicate with each other, we remember Mac not letting her in emotionally, not opening up to her at all, we remember how much they BOTH hurt each other, we remember Mac’s own words on their relationship.

Most importantly we still remember 4x12. How quickly Desi turned her back on him, how she brought his mothers and aunts names into their ugly fight, how Mac said he’d say anything to get her off his back, we remember how she and Russ left Mac no choice but to improvise a plan to save lives, we remember Riley risking everything to protect him and be there for him. WE REMEMBER.

So when you dismiss all of that and re-write MacDesi as if they’re this great couple, it’s not going to work for people. And when you tease MacRiley the whole week with promos, exclusive pictures, articles, SM promotion; promising progress between Mac and Riley only to walk over everything that made them special, you get a lot of NEGATIVE reaction from the fans. With good reason.

* * *

Episode started with Mac and Riley on a picnic mission. The scene was amazing in every sense. The colors, lighting, the conversation between them, the almost kiss, the way Mac held Riley and they lied down for a while, the smug smile on his face and the looks he gave to Riley were all awesome! The car chase was super fun too!

But then everything went down the toilet. Coz in the next scene Mac was complaining to Bozer about how Desi wasn’t spending time with him and avoiding his date attempts. In this scene they retconned Bozer too. For the first time, Bozer encouraged Mac to go ask Desi out and fix their relationship.

Normally Bozer would never do such a thing. Why? Bcoz he’s been against a romantic relationship between them ever since Desi first showed up in 3x14. Bozer thought it was a bad idea from the start, called them Mesi (messy), he didn’t think it was a good idea to bring Desi back on the team in 4x01, coz MD break up was NUCLEAR. So up until 5x03 Bozer was never on Team MacDesi. Lets also remember this exchange between them:

In 4x12 when Bozer was trying to save Mac and Riley’s lives, he turns to Desi...

Bozer: Desi, back me up here.

Desi: Sometimes we need to sacrifice the things we love for the greater good.

So after 4x12, one would only expect that his thoughts on MD would get stronger. But guess what? Bozer is now supporting MD. Just like that. I don’t buy it writers, sorry.

Back to the scene… Mac wants to go on a date with Desi. And he is so desperate about it. We had to witness one of the most awkward scenes between them. Not only that but we had to sit through Riley throwing smiles at MD, saying her feelings for Mac was just Codex adrenaline. Riley, who couldn’t watch any interaction between MD, is now totally cool with them!

And lets just say that Riley was pretending she’s over Mac, that she lied to Bozer bcoz she’s trying to move on. We already watched her having feelings for Mac, hiding those feelings and pining for him. Her one-sided love can’t drive the plot anymore.

Besides she didn’t need to give her blessings to MD. It was an overkill. I really hated the scene where she says “Don’t screw up this time” to Mac…That was totally out of character for Riley.

Riley who reminded Desi that Russ & her were gonna nuke them,

Riley who said she went after Mac coz she trusted him &asked Desi "Why didn't you?",

Riley who risked it all to protect Mac, tells Mac not to screw it up with Desi.

By saying those words, Riley makes it known that Mac was the one screwing up his rl with Desi. Desi had no fault. Once again the writers used my favorite character to prop my least favorite character. Shame on you!

***

I’m not gonna talk about every MacDesi scene in this episode. But let me just say that the writers turned Mac into a desperate, begging, lovesick puppy. He asked Desi for a date like 5 times, apologized twice. Kissed her out of the blue. Bcoz lets face it, that scene was so unnecessary. Nobody was onto them, the police car was passing by slowly and if the police were really suspicious, why would they look at the couple kissing instead of checking who’s in the car? So stupid. Oh and while they were kissing for minutes with great lighting and all, General Ma escaped. Mac acting this stupid, is not something we are used to see. But what you gonna do? I guess love is not only blind but also destroyes brain cells in the process.

Anyway, Mac literally begging Desi to go on a date with him was agonizing to watch. Every time he offers a new dating idea, Desi’s answer is NAH. Back in the picnic scene she made it sound like she wanted to date Mac, but of course she needs to make him suffer first!

I only like to point out the scene where Mac –finally- opened up to Desi about the fishing trip he and his father went together. This story is obviously precious to him. He called it a happy memory. Clearly he misses his father, still mourning for his loss. So he shared his happy memory and asked if she would like to go fishing with him. Desi’s answer? “Not gonna go fishing with you as our first date!” You can read the dissapointment on his face. And my heart breaks for Mac but this kind of treatment is something he’s asking for.

He is desperate to get Desi back. The fact that they are the worst match ever, doesn’t change sh*t. Mac wants Desi and he loves Desi for god knows why.

***

Btw- the whole “lets blame only Mac for Codex and ignore Desi’s wrongdoings” plot is disgusting. Yes, Mac suffocating Desi and Russ to escape Phoenix with Scarlett was wrong. Yes he hurt her, yes in a sense he betrayed her. AND HE APOLOGIZED. But what about Desi? What about her betrayel?

First they made Riley apologize to Desi for following Mac and now they made Mac apologize… But no apologies from Desi. The writers are obviously worshipping Desi and they’re ready to sacrifice every character to make her look “perfect”. I’m sorry but i’m not here to watch the Desi show, or more MacDesi nonsense.

***

Mac said Desi is the woman he loves… but not only that, she is also the woman who guided him back. And the RETCON is really strong with this scene.

Lets remember…

In 4x08 Mac loses his father, at the end of the episode Desi wants to go with Mac but Mac stops her, telling he’d see her tomorrow.

In 4x09 Desi says he can share his burden with her, Mac’s not interested, he says what he needs is to stop Codex.

In 4x10 Mac makes apocalypse kits for Riley and Desi. Desi’s so happy she got a crossbow and didn’t think those kits were a bad sign. But Riley notices that Mac is not in a good place, he needed help and support. Riley shares her concerns about Mac with Desi. She probably thinks it’s not up to her to be the one doing that when Desi is the girlfriend. So after her conversation with Riley, Desi makes soup and gives Mac a compass. Saying he’s not lost (he clearly was tho). She askes if everything’s ok, he looks different but Mac says, he’s just tired.

In 4x12 Mac is lying in bed, lost in his own mind, he gets up, leaves the compass on her side of the nightstand… On the run he ignores Desi’s calls.

Then things get really ugly for MacDesi. Desi says “You are so drunk on somescrewed-up cocktail of your mom, your aunt, Codex science...”… She says “You're compromised”… Mac was just trying to get Scarlett on their side to stop Codex but Desi couldn’t see it. She thought Mac was losing it!

And then Desi sides with Russ and turns her back on Mac. Russ dismisses Mac from the Codex mission. Mac's forced to improvise. Bcoz he wants to stop Codex without bloodshed.

So as you can see they completely re-wrote the events of 4x12 to fix MD.

Desi says: “I had front-row seats to the war that raged in you last year, and I can't do that again. Lose you.”

She was ready to sacrifice him for the greater good. But yeah, sure! Why not.

Mac says: “Des, I know it looked like I was lost, but you were there the whole time, guiding me back home.”

THE WHOLE TIME.

In 3 times she “tried” to be there for him, Mac didn't let her in emotionally but lets just say that she brought him back to his senses.

Lets just say that the compass he left on her side of the nightstand represents that it guided him back. (btw lets also ignore that the compass Mac gave Desi back was a different one. Who knows, maybe he threw it in the garbage during the pandemic and bought a new one)

Lets just forget who really brought him back. Lets just ignore what Riley did for Mac. How she saved him, how she was the one who risked everything for Mac. How she was the one there by his side when they were facing a missile.

Only if we forget and retcon history we can all buy MacDesi.

But i can’t… I can’t forget, i’m not ok with a retconned half-ass love story that they want to sell with MD. I can’t sit through the episodes and keep watching the “flawless Desi” show.

This show isn’t entertaining to me anymore. I can’t recognize Mac, i’m pissed that my fav characters are being used as tools to prop Desi.

One last thing before i say my final goodbyes:

The lighting in this episode was so weird. In almost every scene, heavy light effects distracted me. Usually they use it when they show you a flashback, a dream or a hallucination to seperate the real-time scenes from others. But this episode had them from the start to the end. So i don’t know what to make of this.

Some of the dialogues had subtexts…

Leland to Russ: Now, I know you don't care about much in this world, but even the best of us can be blinded by those we love.

General Ma to Mac: I was blinded by him (Leland) once. I-I won't be blinded again.

Mac: Many things blind us. Anger, betrayal, even love. But sometimes, a little blindness can work to your advantage. You can create a fog that will cause the world around you to disappear.

Normally i would dive deep into the subtextland. But i don’t think the writers were trying to give some deep message or anything.

I do believe that Mac is totally blinded by his “idea” of love… But i’m done waiting for him to open his eyes. The Mac i watched in this episode is not My Mac.

Writers made their choice. They made Mac's feelings crystal clear. He's all about Desi. At this point, Desi breaking up with him would mean nothing to me. Just like Riley still having feelings for Mac means nothing anymore.

Official accounts tweeting “There’s more to come for MacRiley” means nothing to me anymore.

Noone wants a rebound plot but unfortunately it's the only possibility they left to MacRiley. My ship is tainted forever.

And as a Riley stan, i don’t want this Mac with my girl. She deserves better.

#MacGyver #MacGyver review #MacGyver 5x03 #MacRiley #mac x riley #anti MacDesi #MacGyver reboot

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kristallioness · 3 years

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2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019

*arrives a month late*... Happy 2021 to all of you, my dear followers! *raises a glass* It seems that my tendency to finish my artwork or personal posts on time has only gotten worse over time (I blame work *lol*). Oh well, better late than never, since there are things I would still like to take with me from this extraordinary year of 2020.

It is cringeworthy that I have two huge red X-s this year. But after I'd put these puzzle pieces together, I remembered far too well what was going on in my (work) life at the time, so it's completely understandable why I didn't have the time nor the energy to draw at all during those two months.

What were those typical statistics that I wrote about again to compare the years? *goes to read last year's post*.. Oh, right! In 2020, I managed to finish 3 full digital drawings (from the months of April, July and December) as well as work on several sketches. I wrote 28,154 words worth of fanfiction (oohh, that's a lot better than previous year), plus 3,126 words in English (I dare say I wrote an equal amount in Estonian) for the prompts I got during UYLD (making the total 31,280 words, which is quite impressive!).

I finished reading the 1st Kyoshi novel in the evening of the 20th and slightly past midnight on the 21st December (barely before the holidays, but I set this goal for myself and I did it!). Am already looking forward to starting with the 2nd part some time this year. Besides that, I ordered and received all the other new Avatar books that came out (3rd part of "Ruins of the Empire", "Katara and the Pirate's Silver", "Legacy of the Fire Nation") as well as BOTH Avatar series DVD sets (I still can't believe I found these on sale on some random online store in Estonia, but these are now among my most prized possessions!).

I finally started my Avatar rewatch last January, but merely got to the Ba Sing Se episodes in Book 2 (I need to continue with "The Earth King") and now it's been 5 YEARS since I last saw Korra. Reading through my journal personal posts from last year, I know far too well that it's not about rushing through it as fast as possible. Instead, I should enjoy the ride and continue watching the episodes when I'm well rested and in the right mood. That way I'll end up feeling much more at peace.

As for the entire year as a whole? I don't think anyone in this world of ours was prepared for the way this decade would begin - with an uncontrollable pandemic, the virus of which is randomly attacking and threatening to wipe out the weakest amongst us. If any of you (or even if you know someone who) have lost a loved one to this plague, there is not much else I can offer but my sincerest condolences! Me, my family, friends and colleagues seem to have managed to avoid catching it so far. *spits 3 x over her shoulder*

I had such high hopes for this year in so many ways. Event-wise I was looking forward to watching the Eurovision Song Contest in May (where Uku Suviste was supposed to represent Estonia for the 1st time ever after so many unfortunate failures to get selected as the winner of our local competition), the European Football Championships in June (asking my colleagues which countries they support, perhaps make fun bets / guesses with them to see whose team would win the matches), the Tokyo Olympic Games in July-August, the President of Estonia (Mrs. Kersti Kaljulaid) coming to visit my hometown to celebrate our Victory Day by taking part in the parade together with the Defence Forces (after 15 years *sigh*)...

I will always remember my last big event, which took place when life used to be "normal", so to say. It was the 102nd anniversary of Estonia on the 24th of February, when I took part of all the most important celebrations in Tallinn on our Independence Day, FULL-TIME (whenever I scroll through my Facebook timeline, I see the photos I uploaded of that day, my heart melts and I smile fondly). But the day after that.. utter hell broke loose. We had our first infected person in the country.

I will also remember the last day I went to work in "normal" conditions. Friday, the 13th of March (typically my lucky day-number combination): I missed the tram I wanted to get on in the morning, at work my team received great news that one of our colleague's family had grown bigger by a new tiny member the day before, we had our last team lunch together, we discussed the safety measures that we should take and joked about what might happen next week, I took the bus home instead of the tram (as the tram's route came from the airport and that place was considered to be more dangerous and with a higher risk of catching this virus).. It was another 2.5 weeks later by then (since the 25th of February) - Estonia (along with the rest of Europe) went into full lockdown.

The beginning was frightening and people were on edge, nobody really knew what to do nor what was gonna happen next. But in time, things began to shake into place and everybody developed a comfortable routine for remote work, including figuring out how to get everyday things done (such as grocery shopping). I found solace in taking photographs of various beautiful bird species, who began to fly around and serenaded me during spring, visiting the trees around my "nest" i.e. rented apartment (with a pair of them ACTUALLY building a nest in the chestnut tree right beside my window, thus turning me into a protective godmother of their chicks).

To be honest, I was awestruck by the positive / surprising aftermath of this lockdown: how the world / environment began to heal itself from the pollution that was normally caused by humans. I was taken aback by how dead silent our usually loud capital became in my neighbourhood (I could only hear trams passing by my house according to their schedules, practically no cars whatsoever, streets were empty of people.. absolute silence).

By May-June, things started to look up in Estonia (as well as the rest of Europe) and people were allowed to start travelling / moving around more freely. During my vacation in July, I managed to go to my last (open air) event (for the rest of the year) under these new "corona" conditions and ended up having a blast at the Open Farm Days in my home county for the first time.

Our country's shining moment came during the first week of September, when we hosted the first ever Rally Estonia of the World Rally Championship (WRC), where our very own Ott Tänak and Martin Järveoja won. The event was so well organized and successful that nobody caught the virus nor did the spectators / participants spread it to others, which surely must've helped in ensuring us a spot in the WRC calendar for 2021 as well.

The remainder of the year was rather dull, with the exception of the US Presidential elections in November, when we were all holding our breaths that Joe Biden would win (congratulations, my American friends!). This eventually led to the painful downfall of THE WORST government the Republic of Estonia has ever had, and to the rise of our first female Prime Minister, Kaja Kallas (both happening in January 2021, I couldn't believe it all spiralled so soon, ha-ha!).

Anyways, during the last 4 months, work was very stressful and driving me nuts, so badly that when I eventually went on vacation before Christmas, I had a slight anxiety disorder that wouldn't let me relax for several days (luckily it went away just as quickly once I began to take it easy and managed to get some proper rest / sleep).

In hindsight, I kind of get this weird feeling as if I saw this whole thing coming, given how actively I was living my life throughout 2019. My final year of the 2010's was so full of important events and personal achievements. It's almost as if something mysterious inside was driving me, telling me to visit all the places and do all the things I wanted to do, cause I wouldn't have this sort of a chance again for a very long time.

This must be the main reason why I am thankful for 2020 for going the way it did. Sure, I'm disappointed that a lot of events were cancelled, that so many people have had to leave this world so soon due to this unpredictable disease.. But I think there are so many lessons to take from what came out of all of this. I believe the world needed some sort of a restart or break, given in what direction we were headed (politically, economically, environmentally, socially etc.). I'm just sorry it's had to come with such a high price of innocent lives.

I have even higher hopes for 2021, given how amazingly January has already passed for me and my country, and what is to come in my hometown in February. Let's take the lessons learned from 2020 with us and keep on heading back towards the "normal" lifestyle we used to know. Except this time, let's improve our ways, put all the hatred behind us, be more considerate, keep a distance, stay safe, but still try to make the world a better place for everyone. Thank you so much for reading, for remaining by my side, and for your support and love throughout the years, my friends! I hope to see you all alive and healthy at the end of the white metal ox year of 2021! *virtual hugs*

#personal #shards of Kristal

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spearfeld · 4 years

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So I just finished Love, Creekwood

Some spoiler-filled thoughts under the cut!

tl;dr 4/5, it was super cute but I was confused about some things and didn’t think everything worked

Overall, I liked it. It was cute as fuck, and it was nice getting to see the squad again. I have some good to say about it, some bad, and then just some...questions. Let’s start with the good:

Becky’s writing style is as cute and as charming as ever. There were multiple parts of the book that had me laughing out loud, even if maybe not as strongly as I did while reading Simon, Leah, and watching Love Simon and Victor. Drunk Simon makes a reappearance, and it is everything. EVERYTHING. I love that boy so much and he only gets more adorable when he drinks lol.

I love the whole theming of “save states” and wanting to keep moments forever and go back to them, and the idea of holding onto the past. That’s a really unique way of tackling an interesting topic, and I love it quite a bit.

And this isn’t really a bad thing, sort of just an observation, but when Plot Things started happening, it really shocked me, because I forgot that books are supposed to have a plot lmfao. Maybe it is a bit of a criticism, but the reason that surprised me so much is because up until conflict started arising, it really was feeling just like supplemental material, just some cute fluff, the kind of stuff I would go on ao3 to read fanfic about. That’s not necessarily a bad thing--it is very cute and very fluffy and very fun to read--but books do need conflict, even short 100-page novellas told entirely through e-mails.

That being said, the conflict is definitely an interesting one. Long-distance relationship stories are nothing new, of course, but this kind of conflict was teased at the end of Leah on the Offbeat, and I think it’s handled mostly well, narratively. I especially like the contrast between Simon and Bram’s relationship trying to manage long-distance, and Leah and Abby’s who are literally living together and could not be closer if they tried (except Abby does, lol, by suggesting they push their beds together, which, cute).

I’m not entirely sure the e-mail format entirely works for this story. It’s serviceable enough--Becky does a really good job at filling in blanks without spelling everything out for us, with a few exceptions that we’ll get to later--but the e-mails don’t lend themselves to enough character insight, and I found myself getting kind of lost through some of it.

For example, the main “plot” of Love, Creekwood is that Simon and Bram are struggling in their long-distance relationship (did Becky read The Whole Story, should I be pursuing legal action? /s), and that much is apparent through Simon’s e-mails with Bram, but when Simon e-mails Abby and Leah, it seems like he’s worked things out. But then Leah and Abby have their own correspondence where they’re like, “I’m worried about Simon.” And I was like...why? Oh I guess he was trying to make things seem better than they were? Okay, that didn’t super come across in the e-mail. So it was hard to tell what was actually going through the characters’ heads during the story at times.

But trying to change the story from an e-mail format to a prose format with e-mails like the first Simon book would have taken more time and effort, and I know that Becky probably didn’t want to spend more effort than necessary on a project like this--she’s said on multiple occasions that Leah was the last book in the Simonverse and that she didn’t want to write any more books featuring Simon. I definitely think she was excited about writing this book and getting to spend time with these characters again, but I think digging them up for a full-length novel just wasn’t something she was interested in doing. I can’t blame her for this, either. She spent years in the Simonverse. Simon was her debut, and her next two books were directly related to it in some way--one being a sidestory featuring characters from Simon, and the other being a direct sequel. It’s easy to get burnt out on a world when you spend so much time involved in it, and I think Becky wanted to work on different things. So, for what it’s worth, I think this is probably the best form of this book that we could have gotten.

Also, very tiny nitpick but it was hard to see who was writing who sometimes, since all of the e-mail addresses tended to blur together sometimes, particularly in the group messages, and I think that if Becky wasn’t so dead-set on “e-mails are the thing it has to be e-mails!!” then she could have gotten away with making that an actual group chat/text and it would have read a lot cleaner.

Those are the only real negatives I can say about it, unless you count these questions I have as negatives, which, I kind of count them as half-negatives because they’re not inherently bad things, and I think ambiguity was the intent here, but it left me feeling a bit unsatisfied. Maybe this will change the more I think about the book, but regardles:

What actually happened between Simon and Bram? What’s going on with them? We spend a lot of their e-mails talking about how much they miss each other, and then there’s the whole weird Birthday/Marriage Proposal thing. And we never actually get a concrete answer as to what happened with them on the Ferris wheel. Apparently Simon said two words to Bram that “destroyed” him. And I can’t, for the life of me, figure out what those words are supposed to be.

He doesn’t seem to be upset by them, judging by how he wants to “keep that one,” so it has to be a good “destroyed.” But their emails seem to become a lot more strained after that point, and Simon has been neglecting messaging his friends, leaving Leah worried he’s spiraling. What could Simon have said to Bram that night that would change their relationship like that, and cause Simon to retreat the way he did? “Marry me?” “It’s you?” “Fuck Martin?” “Hello, lover?” Like I seriously don’t get what exactly he said there, but I get the impression that I was supposed to have inferred something, that there was something I should have picked up on to lead me to a conclusion, an answer to that question.

Did Simon ask Bram to marry him and he say no? That can’t be, because when Simon finally responds to Leah, he says that, while he does believe Bram is the one, he knows he’s not ready for it to happen right now, so I can’t imagine he would have gone through with proposing. Did he say, “It’s you,” in a callback to when their identities were first revealed? Maybe it’s supposed to be a callback to something from Simon vs that I just don’t remember, because it’s been a while since I’ve reread it.

Going back and rereading that section, it really seems like it’s a one-sided Simon thing at first, that he’s just figuring stuff out. So, if he said “it’s you” what else is there to figure out? Like, they’re still together, they’re spending their breaks together, Simon spends a whole two weeks and then some in New York with Bram, and then they hit that “This isn’t working” point. And so I’m wondering, did something happen when Simon was in New York? It’s never really said, though Abby and Leah do point out Washington Square Park and...I’m not entirely sure why?

Okay, and finally, the ending: I’m still really confused by it. Not Simon transferring to New York, that makes sense, but Bram’s reply to it doesn’t. I mean, it’s in-character and makes sense as his reaction, but I don’t understand it’s significance. What is he calling Simon about? Just, that he’s happy they’re going to be going to school together? To talk about his transfer? I don’t know, something about it just felt incomplete to me.

All of this being said, I did still enjoy this book. It was super cute and exactly the follow-up to this series that I didn’t know I needed haha. Don’t take any of my criticisms of the book as hate or anything. I love Becky, I love her writing style, and I love her characters. This book could have been fifty pages of Simon e-mailing Bram his interpretation of the themes to the Bee Movie and I’d have loved the living hell out of it. It just didn’t click all the right boxes for me, in ways I can’t entirely place my fingers on.

#mine #love simon #simon vs #simon vs the homo sapiens agenda #svthsa #simon spier #love creekwood #becky albertalli #book review #fair warning there's some negative stuff in here but i did like the book overall

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lemoncakepanda · 5 years

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Top 50 NaLu Anime Moments {Pt 3}

I am so sorry it took me so long to write this! This week has been a roller-coaster to me, especially since Tuesday. I got so busy, and every time I would log into tumblr, I would only look at my dashboard and have absolutely no energy left to write. Without any further delay, let me show you guys the rest of my top 50, and today we’re covering moments 30 through 21.

Part 2 can be found here.

30. “I’ll be lonely, you idiot!” (Ep 265).

This moment still makes me so emotional. Like... i’ve said this before on my previous top 25 moments, so there’s nothing much to add, but I love this moment because it shows how much Lucy began to rely on Natsu. How much she needed his presence around her, despite always kicking him out and scolding him. And then to lose all that? Just like that? To be filled with such a huge sense of security, the certainty that someone will always be there for you, and to have that ensurance taken away from you? That must’ve hurt. That must’ve broken her heart and it’s no wonder she’s so upset with Natsu when he comes back (again, I get why Natsu had to leave and I’ve already given my thoughts on it, but I also get Lucy’s side) and must’ve stung extra harder bc she’d just lost Aquarius, something she also never thought would happen. But yeah, this is why I like this scene, despite it being sad. It was great character development for Lucy, showed the development in NaLu, and it also pushed the ship forward by giving if conflict and separation, which only resulted in bringing them closer in the future. Also, I also like how Natsu only left a note to Lucy and no one else. She really is his most precious person, along with Happy.

29. “Let’s save the tears for when we win.” (Ep 159).

As a big sucker for moments where Natsu comforts Lucy, this one’s gotta be in the list. Despite being in a team of 5, despite her whole guild being there, only one person came to pick up Lucy and lift up her spirits and that was Natsu. It could’ve been anyone, really. Erza or Gray. But Mashima thought (and I agree) Natsu would make the most sense, because of how deep the NaLu relationship runs, to showcase how they’d grown even stronger since Tenrou Island, and it worked! Natsu, who’d once called Lucy useless to her face, coming up to her and telling her she was amazing, even though she lost? Lucy, who was always so annoyed with Natsu and his fighting, looking up to him with tears in her says saying “i’m all fired up”? That’s the kinda development we strive for.

28. “You’re Lucy of Fairy Tail, aren’t you?” (Ep 23).

I swear, this ship makes me want to scream. And here we come back to a time when Natsu and Lucy were still growing as a team, and still didn’t know each other that well, but already had so much faith on one another. This, I feel, is the first time (after, you know, the tower jump) where it showed that they actually cared and understood each other, mostly Natsu, in this case. Everyone else told Lucy not to cry, not to blame herself because of what her father did, meanwhile, Natsu merely reminded her of who she was. Where she belonged to. And like Lucy said later in the arc, she believed her mother would want her to follow her heart and do what she wanted, and this was probably the first time someone other than Layla showed Lucy that her choice was hers to make, and hers only. Like i’ve said before, what Natsu said, what he did for her here, helped shape Lucy into the person she is today, as well as it’s what also helped Lucy to start relying more on Natsu emotionally, whereas she relied mostly on him physically, to protect her.

27. “Lucy!” (Ep 303).

This moment... is much lower on my list here, whereas it was so high on the first one, but that’s mostly because my opinion has changed, as well as new moments have arrived that I loved much more, and some other moments too I now realize I took for granted, and took a high spot in my list. But nevertheless, it’s still a very special moment. And despite my problems with the animation, I have to admit that I like the desperation in Natsu’s eyes as he holds onto Lucy for dear life, after almost losing her (big sigh bc we know what happens a few eps later); and he even forgets about the other people around them: Mest, Brandish, even Happy! I like how she came first here to him, how he didn’t even hesitate before grabbing her. Now, how he came from that position to groping her boobs with all his might later, I can’t even explain, just... you know... Mashima.

26. Natsu and Lucy versus Jacob. (Ep 299).

Listen, this... this is one of the funniest fights I’ve ever watched on anime. While I like the pacing better on the manga, I really liked the execution of it in the anime, and hearing Natsu and Lucy’s “dirty talk” was one of my dreams coming to life, lmao. Natsu and Lucy once again showing how great they are at teamwork, and why they work so damn well together, how their thoughts align and how their trust on each other plays a huge deal on their victory. Plus, hello, it’s this moment which gives Mavis the inspiration to defeat Zeref, so it’s an extra big moment, i’d say, despite being severely underrated. Still on topic, I liked how when Lucy was undressed in front of him, Natsu was like “how is this supposed to be hell?” and say what you want, but just because he didn’t blush didn’t mean he wasn’t enjoying that view.

25. “Thank you for protecting our future.” (Ep 187).

Not really a NaLu NaLu moment, but still a very sweet NaLu moment. In case you don’t know (and for that reason, you should not be reading this list), the one in the picture is Future Lucy, and what makes this moment so special is that, even though that’s not present Lucy, it’s still his Lucy. He trusts her word completely and understand she effort she’s made, and all the horrors she’s been through, and he kneels down to the ground, craddles her head and presses his forehead to her, to express how grateful he is for what she’s done, and to show that he appreciates her, even if she’s not from his time. And this must’ve meant so much to this Lucy, because she lost her Natsu; she watched him die (the anime even does a little flashback), and she is back at the warmth and the softness only one person could give her, and she thought she’d never have that again. And then there he was, right in front of her, still the same man she’d always known. Still believing in her. Also, a small bonus: present Lucy is watching all this with a sweet smile and a soft blush on her cheeks.

24. “Don’t worry me like that.” (Ep 310).

And now we’re back to me wanting to scream because of these, bc hey... look at this! How come these two f*ckers started a goddamn a relationship and not even realize it? Like, it’s not even possibly platonic at this point in the story! There’s no friendship that can explain this, especially when it’s purposely being parallel with Gruvia, a canon romantic ship, and especially because we know what led up to this moment. And then you have Lucy holding onto Natsu, so relieved that she found him and squeezing him closer to her, despite not knowing what happened to him or what he’d just done, and Natsu whispering her name, listening to her voice once again when he thought he’d never listen to it again, having her so close to him when he thought he’d lost her... and you want me to not ship that? You want to tell me that’s platonic? I can’t even. I literally can’t even. That’s all I have to say about this.

23. “I want a piggyback ride.” Drunk Lucy round 1. (OVA 4).

While I love Lucy jumping on Natsu and wiggling her body onto his during the christmas ova, I have to admit this moment here has a special place in my heart, which makes it higher on the list. Maybe it’s because it was the first time we saw Lucy drunk, and was still a time when we started to really get NaLu moments, and Lucy’s feelings were still 50/50 to us, and then you get this, and Drunk Lucy is all f*cking over Natsu; she has hearts around her when she’s happy because she saw two Natsus, she makes him omelet (how? idk) and wants to feed it to him, is upset when she thinks he rejects it, wants him to make her purr... this alone should tell you a lot, is all touchy-feely with him, and basks in how warm he is, with her eyes closed. And Natsu, my boy... you coulda just run. You didn’t have to stay there and you didn’t have to obey her, lol. I bet he was freaked out because Lucy had never given him this much attention before, so he didn’t know how to deal with it. Always nice to see some Lucy > Natsu action, so let us all thank Mashima for the existence of Drunk Lucy, who makes this more possible than regular Lucy bc she lives in denial, lol.

22. “Beautiful”. (Ep 73).

A classic moment, and one that is immensely loved within the NaLu fandom, and rightfully so! Not only is this the most beautiful tree i’ve seen in anime, but also gave so much more depth to Natsu and Lucy’s relationship, despite being a simple omake. I’ve mentioned this before, but after Phantom Lord arc, there was very little development on NaLu, and most of their scenes together were reapeats of things we’d seen before: them reuniting after the team is separated, working together to solve it, reuniting again, trusting each other, yada yada. Very nice, but still, mostly just friendship and nothing that really stood out. This moment here, where Natsu uproots a tree for Lucy just because she was sick and couldn’t come to see it, then putting it into a boat so it could float all the way over to the front of her house... can be seen as a platonic gesture, and probably was made with that intention on Natsu’s part, but the thing is, these kinda things only happen with them. Yes, Mashima could have given this moment for someone else like Erza or Mirajane, or even Wendy, who was new to the series and probably didn’t even know about this: so why didn’t he? The answer is quite easy, and y’all know it. Development. Growth. Natsu was upset Lucy couldn’t come and join them, didn’t even crack a smile during the whole festival, but he wanted Lucy to be able to, even if he didn’t get to see it. He wanted to make her happy. That’s very special of him, and I think there was already a little of romance there, he just didn’t know what it was, so he just followed his feelings and went for it. Okay, enough gushing and analysing, time to end this list.

21. “What do I look like to you?” round 1. (Fairy Tail: Dragon Cry).

Please, don’t kill me for not having this on top 10, I wanted to put it there, because HELLO, LOOK AT THIS PICTURE, I NEED 911, I- HOW CAN THEY STAND SO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER! MY BOYFRIEND SAW ME GIFFING THIS AND ASKED “IS HE TRYING TO KISS HER” AND I JUST FREAKED OUT, SOMEBODY SEDATE ME! Mashima, what were you trying to do with this? Were you trying to kill us? Like, why does Natsu want to know what he looks like to Lucy? And why he’s gotta stand so close to her that their noses are brushing, just to ask her this? AHSIAHSJJAOSJAAKA, I KNOW THE ANSWER, BUT I STILL NEED ANSWERS! Okay, I was able to calm down a little. I really truly love this moment (love dragon cry in general), and I love how Wendy interrupted them and knew immediately she’d walked into something intimate, the poor thing, lmao, I wish that was me. But really, this is just Natsu taking any excuses he can to stand super close to Lucy even when it doesn’t make sense, because we all know he’s just got it real bad for her.

Will try to post part 4 tomorrow, but no promises. My baby niece is staying over and she takes up all of my free time, lol.

#sorry for any mistakes i've been awake since 6 am #nalu #natsu x lucy #fairy tail #top50nalu

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thevampirediariesdiary · 4 years

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[1/7] HELLO! so i just had to come here bc i found your blog through your 1x19/1x20 fic on ao3, and i've also been rewatching tvd (very slowly) lately, and trawling your tags to get a fix of delena lol, but there's something i've been thinking about for yearssss but your fic recently made me think of it differently as did your posts, so i would love to hear your opinion properly... so it is confirmed that damon fell in love with elena in 1x19 during the dance, but it was always MY opinion

[2/3] that he didn't KNOW-like, consciously-that he had fallen in love with her, and i’ve often debated with myself about when he could have realised it; i think the easiest answer is that isobel saying “because he’s in love with you” is when he was like Oh Shit because he after that moment DOES become a lot more flirty with her (and in the next episode kisses “her” cheek/lips lol, romantic feelings for sure)… but the way you wrote it in in the 1x19-1x21 posts and the last a/n on your fic makes [3/7] me think that you think he WAS aware he had fallen for her in 1x19? so he was what just not sure how to deal with it? i guess i just have always wondered about this because damon’s behaviour doesn’t seem to indicate he had fallen in love and Knew about it, 1x20 damon and elena are definitely a lot closer but they’re closer because they’re trying to help stefan together so it’s natural for them to be spending a lot more time together. and he goes with alaric with some hope that he can [4/7] find a clue about katherine/he still has katherine on the brain…?1x21 damon has some of the BEST moments imho that support both sides (he knew/he didn’t know yet); he is all Elena you don’t have to see isobel if you don’t want to, we should be in there; and then the threatening of isobel’s life to leave elena alone [5/7] this is so jumbled. i guess i just want to know how you feel about this Very Important question: did he know he had fallen in 1x19 and if so WHY (and if not, was it isobel saying it out loud for the first time that made him realise?). lmfao (also sorry about the many asks…blame tumblr for that.) [6/7] ooh also a follow-up question because i would love to hear it (and bc i just watched rose last night so it’s very fresh in my mind lol): why do you think damon chose to tell elena he loved her at that moment? is it just bc she didn’t have her necklace, so he had the opportunity to do it and then walk away? it’s so romantic to me that if this is true it seems like he was bursting to tell her “i just have to say it once” like it was always on the tip of his tongue??????? [7/7] would he have told her if she had never lost her necklace…probably not, he definitely needed to know he could erase her memory of it lol… ahhh yes would love ur thoughts… anyways, sorry for all these messages again... also just would love you to know how much i love your fic it brings me such joy, i did leave a message on there (most recent one lol) but may as well tell you again it is sooooo good!!! i love how you write them so in character!!

THANK YOU for this message!! I’m so glad you enjoyed You’re Still Here!! and I definitely feel you on the whole “they confirmed that x moment was when so-and-so fell in love….but like…was it?” thing, because my kneejerk response to almost everything I learn from the commentaries is “yeah right”, haha. BUT once I got over the initial resistance, the moments they name – the MMF dance for Damon and the birthday necklace for Elena – do have a kind of internal consistency, they work. so yeah, I do think Damon knew he was in love with Elena in 1x19. the big things for me are his face during the waltz (awed and affectionate), his face when he walks into the room after she drugs Stefan (oddly vulnerable almost), and the line “I’ve had a no good very bad day” (if he hadn’t just figured out that he was in love with a girl he could never have, I honestly don’t know why the day would be that bad haha). plus, the way he reacts in 1x20 when she says that he’s been punishing Stefan for letting Katherine get caught – it’s really dramatic. it’s very important to Damon, suddenly, that Elena not be deceived about him.

on the other hand, though, the thing with Damon always is, what kind of love? throughout the show, I’m always pretty willing to give the answer, “yeah, Damon’s in love with her”. but is he only in love with her, or is he also in love with Katherine at the same time? does he truly love her, or is it a grasping, desperate, clingy love? does he love her and think they could be together, or is he determined to love her from afar, for her own good? and at the point of 1x19 I think the answers are still pretty mixed up: he knows he loves her but he also knows she loves Stefan, and so he clings to his love for Katherine as a kind of escape. he thinks Elena might love him back when he kisses “her” in 1.22, but even then, that brief illusion isn’t enough to push out all of his old feelings for Katherine – Katherine has to totally reject him before he makes his feelings for Elena truly the guiding principle of his life. finally, he has nothing else left, and so he can focus purely on keeping her safe and tending his love for her.

as for 2x08, I think it’s actually very intrinsically tied up with 1x19!! before both episodes, Katherine’s been set aside in a significant way, taking her out of the picture. in both episodes, Damon arrives at the bottom of a staircase to rescue Elena. but where in 1x19 he knew she didn’t love him, but he still had a place in her life – her friend, her protector, her warrior – in 2x08 there’s no clear place for him. Stefan’s drinking blood and in control, and Damon lost her trust; she runs down the stairs and into Stefan’s arms, and he’s left alone. and Damon accepts it! he feels all over again the devastation of losing Katherine and never having been loved by her or Elena, and still he loves Elena. even though she hates him (she doesn’t) and he doesn’t deserve her, he finds that her “thank you” is enough for him. compassion and gratitude from her is worth more than anything from someone else, it’s worth staying for. he loves her, only her, without any hope of return, and he makes his peace with that. and I think the only way he knew to let her go is tell her and then to very literally take it away, set her free even from the memory.

I think he’d never said it before because on the one hand, she didn’t need to be told because she already knew, every villain of the week comments on it, but also because if he held back from saying it then maybe the perfect moment would come along and he’d tell her and it would mean something, she’d say it back. he can say it now because he knows she’s not gonna say it back, and he’s okay with that. it’s still the deepest truth of his heart, and it deserves to be spoken and heard, even if it’s a hopeless truth.

it’s definitely a difficult scene to interpret, though, because he prefaces the whole thing by saying “this is maybe the most selfish thing I’ve ever said”, but then says that he doesn’t deserve her and erases her memory, which doesn’t seem selfish – and years after the fact when she recovers the memory he calls it selfish again?? which I don’t understand, unless he thought hearing it would cause her pain, which it…doesn’t seem to??? so I tend to just ignore that entire aspect of the scene. I think this is Damon being unselfish, acknowledging his own capacity for selfishness which ruined everything in 2x01, and then rejecting it.

this is quite a rambley answer haha. I hope I answered everything adequately, and I hope it makes sense!

#asks #lucifermorningstars

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wongyuuu · 5 years

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Let's talk produce x 101 (final)

I have a lot to say so let's go in parts

the group name: my god, how I hate it. If I thought that izone was bad this is ever worse. X1... what kind of name is even that? honestly if I didn't watch this show, if I hadn't lost three months of my life on this, I would probably not look into a group named X1.

the songs: when I heard the preview last week I thought that boy was a better song but live it was a whole different thing. Into my world was by far better, easily. The reason why I liked boy better was probably hui's vocals because king. And even the performance was better but I'm probably biased on this since three out of my top four were on this team.

Now for the line up... I'll talk about each of them separately.

#1 Yohan - ah, our center. I honestly saw it coming and it was well deserved. A lot of people saw him just as comedic relieve but kid was actually really talented. One amazing rapper, is a really good dancer, will do amazing on variety shows. I really do believe that he has all it takes to be a center. I truly do look forward to him.

#2 Wooseok - not a surprise to anyone at this point. He was never part of my top members but I can see why a lot of people love him, the puppy eyes. He does have them and he works then well. I still have the same problem with him, he sort of seems like a statue most of the time, but I did read somewhere online that he is actually a good laugh so I hope I get to see more of that side of him.

#3 Seungwoo - this guy is really, truly amazing. He can do anything, from singing, to dancing, to rapping, he is good in all aspects of it. He will probably be the leader and I'm not at all bothered by it. I really wanted him to make the cut and the fact that he got in at such a high rank makes me proud of him.

#4 Hyungjun - I still don't understand his appeal, I truly don't. He is cute and is a good dancer but so was Donghyun so... he looked somewhat awkward during into my world stage or maybe it's just how I felt watching him.

#5 Seungyoun - I still cant believe that he made it. Out of my fixed pics I thought that he was the least likely to make the cut. He started really low, in 67th place and steadily rose to the top. Like Seungwoo he is a all rounded and is someone who is also fit for a leader. I am so so so happy for him, you guys have no idea.

#6 Dongpyo - call me skeptic or whatever but he is only here because of the whole 'the original center must make the cut'. I'm not saying that isnt talented, because he is, he just doesn't do it for me and through the voting I thought that kntez felt the same way. Guess I was wrong

#7 Hangyul - I didn't see this one coming, I really really didn't. I put him in my top 11 but I never thought that he would make it. I think this is proof that this group won't follow the cute concept.

#8 Dohyun - the maknae, a well deserved spot. He did well since week number one. Like I said before he wasn't a fixed pic but I am not bother by him at all.

#9 Junho - I think it was fate lol. How is possible that him, yohan and seungwoo were together in all performances? I'm no bothered by him but I do hope he improves a lot in the future

#10 Minhee - the most unexpected one for me but then again I think he could be useful. While Seugnwoo's voice is really high his is much lower so I think he will create a good contrast

#11 Eunsang - what surprised me about this was the fact that he came last, I thought that he could get a higher rank.

Now, the white elephant in the room: Jinhyuk. I speak of him as rationally as I possible can, it wasn't going to happen. Theres the fact that every season one trainee, the best one amongst all trainees, is left behind and it is always in 14th place. And there's also Wooseok. I'm not putting the blame on him, please don't think that. Mnet has no problem in debuting two trainees of the same company but they would definitely not let two previously debuted trainees of the same company to debuted again in their group. Wooseok has been a favorite since the first week so if they had to choose between the two of them they would go with the guy that has been on top for longer.

It broke my heart to see Jinhyuk like that, how he cried and apologized because he didn't make it. He did amazing, the best he possibly could. I hope that he becomes successful in whatever the chooses to do, let be either on up10tion or in a different group like I saw many people say that they wanted.

This program was a wild ride, again, almost as bad as yg's realities. I hope I never watch another one again.

#produce x 101 #kim Yohan #han seungwoo #kim Wooseok #song hyungjun #cho seungyoun #song dongpyo #lee hangyul #nam dohyun #cha junho #kang minhee #lee Eunsang

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loniden · 4 years

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How to Eat Healthy During the 2020 Lockdown

This has been a fascinating week with such an unforeseen development in a brief timeframe. Almost all of us are at home for two or three weeks, which brings along new difficulties when following a keto or low carb diet. In this article, I'll give you tips about how to eat well when stuck at home.

The most effective method to Eat Healthy When Stuck at Home

I don't have a clue what it is about the vulnerability of our reality that makes me need comfort nourishment and to heat hand crafted chocolate chip treats. On the off chance that you've been battling staying keto or low carb, you aren't the only one. I surveyed the Easy Keto Low Carb Recipes Facebook page, and keeping in mind that there were many adhering to the keto way of life, there were similarly the same number of battling. It's anything but difficult to push eat when all that we've known is unexpectedly open to question. How would you eat well when stuck at home?

In complete honesty, I haven't eaten consummately for as far back as not many days. I'll do incredible the vast majority of the day, at that point end up giving in here, and there later toward the evening and into the night. Regardless of whether it is only a bunch of my children's Cheetos or a little treat, those little chomps include, and before I know it, I get myself, saying what the hell., I've just spoiled today I should eat anything I desire, which is never a decent course for me.

At the point when I go off arrangement for a few days, it causes me truly to feel yucky. My stomach gets all enlarged, my garments don't fit also, and my vitality levels are lower. With not realizing to what extent we will be home, I realize I need to feel my best. Good dieting is basic to my general prosperity. Else, I realize it would start to influence me intellectually.

Also Read: 6 Awesome Body Changes When You Give Up Carbs

Since I realize that there are numerous who may be managing similar battles, I thought I'd share two or three unique tips that may help we all to eat well when we are stuck at home during this exceptional time in our country's history.

Tips to Eating Healthy During a Challenging Season

1. Resolve and Discipline Always Win – Sticking to a good dieting way of life goes a long ways past inspiration. As I referenced right now what making my bed showed me weight reduction, inspiration is whimsical, and it depends on feelings and conditions. Inspiration will bomb me, particularly in our present circumstance, not realizing a distinct end in sight. I need to determine and decide to stay with day by day trains again and again that bring achievement. Surrendering to transitory wants again and again (hi Oreos) never genuinely causes me to feel better.

2. Recall Your Why and Your Wins – When enticement hits, which it unquestionably will recollect your why and your successes. For what reason did you begin following a keto or low carb diet? What achievements have you achieved en route? Have you gone down a size? Not, at this point constrained by desserts? Have more vitality than you used to have? Record these things on the off chance that you need to with the goal that they are a consistent token of why you should proceed on your smart dieting venture regardless of the way that your life may look altogether different at this moment.

3. Change from Keto to Low Carb – If you have been exacting keto and can't appear to refocus, maybe changing to all the more a low carb way of life may be useful. Thusly, you'll give yourself more breathing space and a couple of more carbs a day. You likewise won't need to concentrate on remaining in ketosis. Eating low carb rather than keto may be the ticket that gives you enough opportunity for progress. On the off chance that you aren't acquainted with how they are unique, Low Carb versus Keto: Differences and Benefits is an extraordinary asset.

4. Plan Ahead – If you wind up battling in light of the fact that there is unexpectedly more nourishment in the house that you wouldn't ordinarily eat, arranging very well might assist you with remaining on target. Plan dinners and snacks with solid other options. For instance, if every other person is eating pizza, make a heavenly crustless pizza or pizza chaffles. That way, you can fulfill your desires and remain on target.

Additionally, in the event that you dinner prep early, you won't be without solid nourishment alternatives. Here are five straightforward strides to supper prep that will make preparing dinners simpler when you get exhausted of cooking.

5. Keep Easy Keto Treats and Snacks on Hand – When you are home throughout the day consistently, it's anything but difficult to surrender to careless eating and eating eventually. There are such huge numbers of great plans for keto desserts and tidbits, yet now and then I simply need something I can get rapidly without getting the kitchen filthy once more. With being home for an all-encompassing measure of time, we all will probably be cooking more, so having simple choices we can get and appreciate may help us not snatch our child's tidbits. Here are a couple of my most loved keto snacks I like to keep in my wash room. In the event that you can't discover them locally or don't have any desire to get out, Amazon is an extraordinary alternative.

6. Pick a Day – I wouldn't ordinarily recommend this, yet edgy occasions call for additional choices. Pick one day a week or at regular intervals, where you appreciate carbs without blame. Perhaps you might want to go through one day seven days heating with your children however have stayed away from it since you don't feel sufficiently able to disapprove of unique treats. Right now, picking one day seven days to have a heating day or solace nourishment cooking day with the family would give you enough alternatives to have the option to adhere to keto or low carb the other six days. On the off chance that you don't figure you could refocus following a day away from work plan, at that point this alternative would not be a decent decision for you.

7. Pick a Nonnegotiable Start Date – With an ongoing sudden spike in demand for staple goods, you probably won't have the option to load up on low carb wash room nourishments you typically eat. Or then again, you may require a brief timeframe of alteration with everything else feeling wild before committing once again to smart dieting. Regardless, set another beginning date. On this day, you'll refocus, no inquiries. What that may resemble is this, " For the following fourteen days I'm going to make sense of our new self-teach plan, load up on low carb food supplies once stores restock, and get some kind of foothold once more. At that point, precisely fourteen days from today, I'm returning to eating low carb."

A couple of days before your new beginning date, start a feast plan and basic food item shop to set yourself up for progress. On the off chance that you need dinner thoughts, here is a rundown of more than 90 free keto supper plans you can get to whenever. Having a beginning date will likewise give you an opportunity to intellectually get ready for the change.

8. Start and Stick with a New Exercise Routine – Now that our timetables are not, at this point brimming with children's games exercises, school exercises, self-teach gatherings, church, youth bunch social occasions, and so forth we have much more opportunity to do things we've been putting off because of absence of time. At the point when I am reliably working out, it causes me to settle on better nourishment decisions as I would prefer not to fix all the difficult work I've done. There are loads of 30-Day Exercise Challenges on Pinterest that are anything but difficult to start. Indeed, even 20 minutes of activity daily causes me to ponder the nourishments I put in my body. Here is a Pinterest Board loaded with various exercise programs and chiseling programs on the off chance that you need motivation.

Also Read: The Future Of Low-Carb Diets: Lessons Learned From Past Fads

9. Give Yourself Grace Upon Grace – We've never confronted this sort of emergency in the course of our life. I don't have a clue about that anybody realizes how to move the progressions that have occurred in our reality. The greater part of us aren't accustomed to being stuck in our homes for broadened periods. You may require a period of modification first before you can get settled and resolved to refocus. Assuming this is the case, that is alright. There is no disgrace or judgment. Right now, neglect to make dealing with yourself and remaining sound a need, regardless of whether it takes you a piece to pull together while the residue settles around you.

Everything Is Not Lost

In the event that you are battling, everything isn't lost. Essentially, pick how you can eat well while stuck at home. What you do probably won't resemble what the following individual is doing, yet you need to discover what you can adhere to in the midst of new difficulties.

I'm hitting my reset button today and committing once again to remaining on target. I'll adhere to more low carb than keto, for a brief timeframe at any rate; maybe I'll return to keto as we get sunk into our new ordinary. Since I am at my objective weight, I may even pick an off-plan day once consistently or two and appreciate making (and eating) family plans that have been passed on through ages that aren't low carb with my kids. I may even appoint my more seasoned children a night to prepare supper (it's a significant fundamental ability all things considered) and simply appreciate what they decide to cook without blame. I can guarantee you if my child is cooking cauliflower WILL NOT be on the menu. lol

Relish the Time and Make Memories

The majority of all, I need to appreciate this time with my family, gain experiences we probably won't have set aside the effort to make in the event that we weren't stuck at home, and relish this time together. I'll despite everything eat soundly, only not as exacting as I regularly would with the goal that I don't come out of this having put on weight. I simply don't need it to be something I consider continually, or that controls me. This season in our home will be devoted to time together and memory-production.

At the point when you get tired recall, each tempest comes up short on downpour. There will be another season.

#keto #carbs #diet #healthy #eat #food #covid19 #quarantinefood

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taestykooky · 5 years

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My Evolution in Stanning Jaebeom / GOT7

Ever since yesterday? Was it yesterday? I’ve lost track of time...I’ve been hugging my body pillow and rolling around in bed squealing and moaning “Jaebeom-ah”. I’ve literally accomplished nothing, the dishes are still in the sink, the cat has been destroying everything and I don’t even care... I’m a fucking mess. Did I even eat anything? Thank god I didn’t have work, tomorrow however is going to be a challenge. How am I suppose to go back into society like this? His oh delicious body, that darn belly button and happy trail with his damn gorgeous face keep replaying in my head. *sigh*

When did I become so fucking thirsty for this man? When did the admiration and love for him turn into this? Like yeah, I’ve always been a huge fan, his smile always brighten my day. Don’t get me started with his eyes... his voice, oh god but like I can still partly function after hours of calming down. But this, I don’t even know what to do with myself. Every time I look at him now, even when he’s acting all cute, I’m lusting for him. Like shit sis, a picture of him just sitting there at a fan sign has me all hot and bothered. Wtf?

A part of me is screaming, “girl, pull yourself together! He ain’t even know you exist.” But like I know and but I just can’t stop. It’s just crazy to think back when I first saw him during the dream high/bounce era, I thought he was cute. It was so innocent. When he debuted again with GOT7, I was excited to see and get to know him & the others. Of course, he became my bias but it was pure admiration of who he is and how talented he was.

Was it during the Just Right era that I found him to be more attractive than usual? I think that sounds about right, that scene with him in the car...And then came MAD’s If You Do, boy did my heart fluttered. I remember replaying Tic Tic Tok over and over just to hear his sexy voice. That song did things to me especially his “내 맘이 너를 원해 나와 같기를 바래, 나에게 너를 맡겨 You know you like it, baby”. Seriously? I replayed that part so many time I felt sorry for the rewind button.

Looking back now, he was the joy of my life, something to look forward to after school. I struggled a lot during that time but GOT7 was my light through it all and still is.

When Fly came out, I was absolutely in love with it. His voice starting it was heaven to my ears and he looked so damn fine...(maybe this was when the thirst slowly started?) I remember singing along so much that even now when it comes on randomly on my iTunes that I just instinctively singalong.

Oh boy and then Hard Carry. The whole Turbulence album is one of my all-time favorites. 니꿈꿔 (Dreamin’) was on repeat for the longest time, like his voice is so clear and delicious. I still squeal when it comes on and singalong like the fangirl I am...

The beginning of DefSoul. This boy was already out to destroy me...I should have seen it coming. His voice is really divine though. I remember being nervous to click on Bad Habit because that little inner voice knew he was going to wreck me. And oh god, he sure delivered. Don’t get me wrong I love everyone in GOT7 but hearing just Jaebeom’s voice is just absolutely heavenly. Holic is still being played every night before I head to bed. I guess 2016 was when the thirst began.

Next was the Arrival album, it’s another of my favorites, just like Turbulence, I can listen to the whole album on repeat and I did lol... Paradise & Go Higher were played back to back A LOT. Never Ever was always playing on my desktop when I was doing things and I’m not gonna lie I always stared at Jaebeom’s parts because I have issues...

Then holy shit, JJ Project made a comeback! Verse 2, dear lord, I remember being so sad because I couldn’t afford the album when it first came out. My paycheck wasn’t gonna be there for another week. I cursed at myself for going out to eat a few days before with some girlfriends... When I finally got it, I was so ecstatic. That album was absolutely the best. Fade Away was played so many time, I really can’t get enough of him.

7 for 7 *sigh* I swear my heart melted for this album. It was so soft. I listened to it a lot at night. Jaebeom’s vocals in You Are is one of my favorites. I’m not even gonna talk about the two mv for You Are & Teenager. It was just all squealing, singing along, and staring. 2017 was my holy grail, being blessed with 4x the Jaebeom was heaven and boy did I needed it that year.

Ah, 2018, it started with DefSoul blessing us with 5 tracks. I still can’t decide which one is my favorite between Think of You, Channel & Don’t Touch Me.

His mullet also made a debut which honestly, at this point, I’m already so whipped for him nothing he does will disappoint me or turn me off. I actually liked it and I’m usually not a fan of mullets *shrugs*

Eyes On You was a nice album, I enjoyed it. I was low-key jealous of Hyolyn...Look’s mv was played too many times, I really missed them. I was so busy in 2018 that this was the first time I saw them since their Teenager mv. I usually watch their V-Live & Web Series but life is cruel lol...

I actually missed a lot in 2018, I still need to catch up on everything I missed. But thanks to me being so busy, I delayed buying Present: You which turned out to be a blessing for my wallet. I ended up buying the repackaged album instead.

Miracle was full of emotions, and all the sub unit’s and solos were awesome~ Not Jaebeom related but King was one of my favorites. Sunrise *sigh* his voice really makes my heart yearn for him, 1:31AM especially. That 2Jae should make a debut already... Think About It made my heart hurt for some reason, idk this whole album had me in a weird headspace.

I realize I didn’t mention the Japanese albums but I do have 2 of them (I Won’t Let You Go & Moriagatteyo) and bought 3 tracks (My Swagger, Turn Up & The New Era). Their Japanese promotions are hard for me to follow and keep track of, not because I don’t like it but I don’t even know they’re promoting it until like it’s over.

And now we’re in 2019! Starting off with more DefSoul because he’s so sweet and amazing. I thought it was hard to pick a favorite before with vol.2 but vol.3 is just too hard. I just love the whole damn thing too much. His voice is so addicting and his English has improved so much it’s driving me crazy.

When I thought it couldn’t get any better, Jus2 makes a debut. Ugh, he’s really doing too much. The whole Focus album is just sinful. Every time I listen to it, all I do is have unholy thoughts. That body roll/wave whatever in Focus on Me had me swooning and his mullet is gone and he’s back with that fuckboi haircut looking so god damn good. I was watching the special for Focus on vLive and I didn’t realize it then but it was one of the times I was truly happy and enjoying myself this year. Just watching him talk about when he wrote the songs and explaining them made me so happy.

SpinningTop: Between Security & Insecurity, it’s been out for 2 months now? And I still don’t own it which makes so sad lol... There’s nothing but dust & lint in my clutch. Eclipse *sigh* I’ve been playing it on repeat and I’m sure my neighbors are sick of it. I feel like I’m burning holes in him when I watch him. Oh god, and the astronaut video, I never loved him more. Is it wrong that I want to be his fingers...not to be nasty or anything...

Lol, anyway, I haven’t listened to the rest of the album yet because I want to hear it together on the cd cause I’m weird like that. It’s killing me, I really wanna hear what Page is like. Their spoiler video was a fucking tease. They literally didn’t give any lmao...I totally wasn’t staring at his legs the whole time. Why am I like this??

The World Tour, the thing that started this whole rant. They are gonna be here in California again and once again I can’t afford the tickets. Looking now, the ones in LA that I want are $805-227, the ones I want in Oakland are sold out but I would settle for the $407-342 ones...but I don’t have that kind of money plus my car is in repairs *cries*.

But I probably would die if I went because look at him... All these fan photos and videos of him are enough to bury me in the ground. The shirtless video and pictures are really what did me in. I didn’t realize I was so fucking thirsty for him. I knew I was thirsty but not this thirsty. I never knew I could feel this way for someone that I know is unobtainable.

It’s been 7 years since he’s debuted, 5 years with GOT7 and it’s been the best 7 years of my life. Watching him continue to improve and become the man he is today has been truly a blessing. Even though, I’m a hot mess over here being a thirsty ass...my feelings did start out pure and innocent. Those feelings are still there and just evolved into something more. He just does things to me but can you blame me? He knows what he’s doing...

But seriously, looking back from the very beginning to now, I am grateful for everything he has done. All the joy and happiness he brought me throughout these years are worth the suffering.

Thank you, Jaebeom-ah for everything, even if your popularity fades one day, you’ll always be my number one.

#got7 #lim jaebeom #jaebeom #super long rant #so thirsty #the apple of my eye

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skizmin · 6 years

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Ravenclaw Seungmin

(my sweet sunshine i hope i can do you justice)

Genre: fluffy as FUCC yo, seungmin is a precious baby, he’s book smart then falls in love and has nO fuckin idea what to do, ugh hes so cUTe, confident til you (my lovely gender neutral reader) come along type shit lmao sue me

Words: 6330 holy shit

A/N: alrighty so i put some more effort into this one bc apparently yall didnt appreciate my woojin one (lookin at you you well rested hoes) and yeah. for the love of coke please stop sleeping on woojin and seungmin it hurts my heart.

this all sorta starts in the middle of exam season

seungmin is lowkey stressed

okay possibly highkey stressed

especially when his friend hyunjin drags him out of the study hall to go see some quidditch game

“hyunjin seriously i need to study”

but hyunjins carrying seungmin over his shoulder screaming about something called stress relief and fun

but anyway, here seungmin is in the stands very begrudgingly

thinkin about that lil song he made to remember how to pronounce that one pet hair expelling spell lmao

when he sees you

he knows you of course, always coming extremely close to his top mark in all his classes

once, in second year, you even beat him in defence against the dark arts which seungmin felt a bit down about for 3 weeks but also he knew you had an immense interest in jinxed plants which was the topic of half of the test

rip seungmin

anyway, he’d always sorta just ignored thinking about you unless it was his competitive side coming out

for real once he almost gave up studying for a divination in class essay but was reminded you were in that class and just nYOOMED to finish his final draft

he only ever really thought about school anyway, much to the dismay of his friends who for once just wanted to get to know him more and take him out to hogsmeade or something

okay so anyway, hes in the stands and he sees you

he doesnt exect you to be there lol like

you study just as much as he does, right?

not only are you there, but you arent even watching the game

youre in it

seungmin chokes on his motherfuckin pumpkin juice

hes all

W-WHAT

NO WHAT

HOW

hyunjin looks at him like wtf bro

seungmins just

“Y/NS IN THE QUIDDITCH TEAM? BITCH? WHAT??”

hyunjins like what???? ohhhh y/n?? dude theyre like one of the best chasers in the damn school

seungmin just looks from hyunjin to you (trying to intercept a pass from the other team) with wide eyes

“seungmin why do you look so shocked? do you know them?”

“yeAH THEYRE THE ONE THAT BEAT ME ON THAT TEST ONCE”

“hmm? what in second year??? dude you have GOT to let that go.”

but by now seungmins not even paying attention to hyunjin, he’s watching you speed past with the quaffle and scoring almost effortlessly

seungmin had never really paid much attention to quidditch. now much at all

aside from happily congratulating his friends on their most recent win and smiling brightly along with jisung when he begins screaming about the new chudley cannons line up

seungmin never really followed the world cup or anything

he simply decided when he was sorted into ravenclaw that he would dedicate himself to his studies

and he struggled to get the grades he does even though felix’s favourite thing to say to him was “all you do is study”

but he was proud of his grades

seungmin never really paid much attention to quidditch

but now? watching you?

your house colours billowing behind you as you smiled to a teammate, listening to their instructions on your next course of action.

he was mesmerised

wholly?? fully?? mesmerised??

he didnt know why but his heart sort of ached

he thought, why would he feel like this?

he understood though that he simply felt completely and utterly inferior to you

hes fine with being inferior to you in terms of quidditch, he doesnt play quidditch

rarely has flown a broom actually, unless necessary

but in terms of school work?

he genuinely set his soul to do that

he’s wholly dedicated to studying to achieve the almost record grades he has

and you?

you were right behind him

dont get him wrong, he doesnt think you dont deserve it, not at all. he would never say someone doesnt deserve recognition for their hard earned work.

he was upset because, honestly?

he saw how often his friends practised their quidditch skills. the team practise, individual practise, game plans, codes, flying methods, opponent studies

all of it

it was very nearly the same amount of time he spent studying.

and his friends?

he remembers the time his friends minho a few years back struggled to scrape by a pass due to his commitment to the sport. even with copious amounts of tutoring that drove him into the early hours of the morning so often

the stress ate away at him. it was a particularly busy year for slytherins team and he was on high demand. the lack of interest in school kicked in after his grades began dropping

it wasnt a good time, not a good thing to witness. eventually he passed purely on all nighters full of cramming before exams

all his quidditch playing friends struggled to get above average in their grades, no matter how enthusiastic they were about learning and magic

how did you, who was on par with their skill, manage to follow so closely behind him whilst studying?

of course, he was prefect, but that consisted of simply once a week meetings and helping younger students with school related things. sometimes an odd counselling session here and there and some advice on how to handle situations

but that took up rarely any of his time

not nearly as much as quidditch would

he felt sort of empty, like he had lost some kind of purpose.

how was he going to deal with this? how was he going to deal with the fact that you were so so so far above him in all ways possible? the one thing he fully applies himself to is now meaningless to him

he wants to be better

“minnie?? the games over. y/ns team won.” hyunjin called from beside him, nudging him with his shoulder

“ah, right.”

hyunjin furrowed his brows at seungmins down attitude but shrugged it off because

it be like that sometimes

ya’know??????

fast forward to one week later and seungmins friends were getting increasingly more worried. why?

his usually immaculate notes were empty, he went straight to bed instead of studying (yet the bags under his eyes were dark and prominent. one of his dormmates reports to jisung that he has been sleeping quite fitfully.), he sat for hours on the weekend in the study hall tapping his quill on the table but his paper remained blank

hell, he hadnt even borrowed a new book from the library after finishing his most recent read

it was at this point jeongin forced hyunjin to confront seungmin about it

“so uh, whats up?”

“huh? oh nothing just chilling.”

“no i mean recently, youre acting odd.”

“o-oh?? (worm)”

“yeah, so you okay??”

“definitely, just busy sorting something out.”

hyunjin smiled and left seungmin be at that

seungmin realised that was the last straw, he was going to do something about how this affected him

so the next day, after classes ended, seungmin made his way to the library. after that he walked down to hagrid’s, their groundskeeper and teacher of magical creatures’, hut. then after that he walked up to the hospital wing.

when he returned to the great hall and jisung asked him where he had been, he just smiled and shook his head

what had be been doing?

volunteering.

volunteering to help at the library and help madam pince 5 nights a week every fortnight, volunteering to help hagrid tend to the animals and feed them and give them exercise every sunday, and finally, volunteering to run errands for madam pomfrey for 5 nights every other week and to tend to small injuries that can be handled with a simple muggle first aid kit if thats what the student would like

anyway once his friends found out what he had done they were very happy!! and confused??

and also worried

seungmin had aways had this habit of overworking himself

,,,,

okay so 3 weeks later he was in the library volunteering

pushing a trolley full of misplaced books up the isle while yawning widely

he thought he was doing pretty well. he was more than confident on the two exams that had passed during the time he spent volunteering n stuff

he walked along, still yawning occasionally, blaming it on the warm cozy feeling of the library late at night

but he jumped as he felt a tap on his shoulder and whipping his head around so fast his neck couldve snapped off

and then he saw you, looking nervous as you twisted your fingers together in front of you

he swore he couldve melted right then and there

wait?????? what???????

“u-uh, hey! um. yeah madam pince she-, she told me to ask you. ask you where to find a b-book that is! ha. haha.”

seungmin watched as your face got red and his heart sorta swelled?????

“oh! u-uh yeah! sure! which book?”

you smiled at him widely, relieved you hadnt asked the wrong person. “magical mediterranean water plants and their properties???”

seungmins heart stuttered

he had never really paid much attention to you before he saw you on the quidditch pitch, thinking of you purely as competition. but recently

god, recently he couldnt stop thinking about you. your face. your smile. your laugh, remembering the rare times you would joke around in class.

was this what it was like to have you smile at him?

he would fetch you 1000 books if he got to see 1000 of those smiles

oh my oh my was his heart beginning to beat faster and faster

“o-okay, uh- follow me?” he turned around quickly and began walking. he’d memorised the library way before volunteering anyway, madam pince getting sick of him asking where books were every second day

he walked up 3 isles and turned right, walking up the middle before tugging out his wand from his robes and softly flourishing his wand

from a high shelf, a black leather book floating down gently, seungmin extended his hand to grab it before passing it to you, cheeks red

“is this it?” seungmin already knew that was the book you were looking for. he read it last term to jog his memory before a herbology test

fUCK THERE WAS A HERBOLOGY TEST COMING UP RIP SEUNGMIN

anyway

“yeah!! seungmin, right? thank you so much.” you shyly smiled at him

“u-uh yeah!! just um, ask me for help if you need it and you see me. y/n, right?” god his brain was a mess

“of course!! well, i’ll see you around yeah??”

seungmin nodded, cheeks getting slightly redder

and with that you walked away, cheeks equally as red as seungmins and hands clasping tightly around the book he got for you

anyway, in the next week you and seungmin sometimes exchanged small smiles and waves but nothing more

you highkey wanted to talk to him but you were too shy so

it was okay bc he was shy too so

but anyway, you had been in your care of magical creatures class, talking to your professor as you attempted to befriend a porlock

(a small horse guardian thing that doesnt quite trust humans)

anyway, simply you got onto the topic of how hagrid could possibly look after all his creatures constantly to which he replied with a smile and

“well theres a ravenclaw boy that helps me now. seungmin. do you know him? he helps me care for all of them every sunday.”

you furrowed your brows, it couldnt possibly be

“kim seungmin?” you questioned

“thats the one!”

you smiled, saying you knew him before getting lost in your own thoughts.

didnt seungmin already volunteer at the library? maybe that was a one time thing. right????

surely he wouldnt be volunteering at two places at once. thats impossible

not with his grades, he couldnt possibly keep up. how much overworking would that be?

you were taking out of you thoughts with a sharp stinging pain on your wrist

you looked down to see your porlock obviously angry and trying to escape the calming hold you had on him

hagrid noticed you gasp and his eyes widened as he saw the blood trickling down your arm

“oh no! are you alright????”

“i’m fine! just got bitten is all.”

“here let me take the porlock, you should get yourself to the hospital wing. the last period bell is gonna go anyway so take your bag too”

you were stunned at your professor being so panicked

“im sorry its just ive filled out three incident reports in the last week”

you laughed, tugging your satchel over your shoulder and holding your wrist with your free hand to stop the bleeding somewhat

you greeted you friends goodbye before climbing up the grassy hill to hogwarts on your way to the hospital wing

as soon as you reached the castle, chimes came loudly from the bell tower above

you groaned, you knew you had quidditch practise in half an hour so you began to speed walk through the halls that were filling quickly with students

reaching the hospital wing you pushed the big oak door open, searching around for madam pomfrey

“excuse me?”

madam pomfrey popped out from behind her desk

“oh! y/l/n! im just about to head out on an emergency. some kid ate sat on a firework from that pesky store. is it serious?”

“uhhhhh, no?? i can patch myself up.” you smiled at the frantic nurse

she nodded and walked passed you, calling out as she rushed through the door in a hurry

“the kits on my desk! and if kim seungmin shows up tell him i dont have anything for him to do!”

you smiled quickly to her before she was gone

wait a minute? seungmin? what would he be doing here???

anyway, you walk up to her desk and drag out the first aid kit

you knew how to use a first aid kit

you were Cultured

anyway you were looking for something to dress your arm, you found a big ol’ dressing with all that sticky shit

bitch yes

anyway as you were struggling to open the dressing up, the gigantic oak door opened suddenly and you almost dropped the dressing you were holding to see a panting seungmin

your eyes widened as he crouched over and spoke

“madam- madam pomfrey im so” large breath in “sorry im late i just-” another pant “a student asked me where vectors office was and-”

he finally stood up, eyes widening when he saw you

“o-oh! y/n? whatre you doing here??”

“uh, porlock.” you replied dumbly. not thinking enough to elaborate bc wow kim seungmin was right there looking gorgeous n shit

“porlock?????? the animal??????” he furrowed his brows

you nodded and suddenly remembered what the nurse had told you

“oh! uh, madam pomfrey is out right now but she said theres um,,, nothing for you to do???” you asked him, sounding unsure to whether or not you heard her correctly

seungmin furrowed his brows “o-oh.”

you looked away, and began fumbling with your dressing and spoke up again “do you help out here too?”

“uhhh. yeah, i do.” he replied somewhat awkwardly

“hagrid said you help him as well. do you get any rest?” you asking, sounding exasperated

but like,,,

low key lmao

“oh uh. yeah i try my best i guess.” he sounded so??? nervous???

“wait! y/n, let me do that. its what im supposed to be doing anyway” seungmin sheepishly says as he walked up to you

oh god what now???????? uh???????? seungmin very possibly touching you and being that close??????? uh??? a bitch is scared for their health but shhhhh

“n-no! its fine!” you mumbled back, suddenly very shy under seungmins gaze

“y/n you cant even get it open, not to mention your arm and hand are still covered in blood.”

he had a point

“oh. right.”

seungmin moved you over to one side of the table as he pulled out a bowl and a washcloth from one of the cabinets next to it.

he mumbled a soft aguamenti, creating water from his wand into the bowl, smiling in accomplishment

then he dipped half of the cloth into the water and wrenched it to get the excess water out

“can i uh- can u have your arm??” he stuttered, suddenly realising how close you were, cheeks dusting pink

you held your arm up for him and he started wiping at the blood on your skin, you didnt actually mind the cool feeling of the water at all.

you decided to use the awkward silence to have a little conversation with him

“why do you volunteer so much?” you questioned

seungmins movements halted for a second before he started cleaning your arm again

“no particular r-reason. i-, i like it?” he replied, not meeting your eyes

“why do you sound so unsure?” your pried, wondering why exactly the question was difficult for him

“im not unsure!” he assured you, taking a glance at your face finally before dumping the cloth in the water because he was done

“alright i guess”

“i uh,” he started whilst ripping open he package to the dressing, “i didnt know you played quidditch.”

you were surprised by this, everyone knew you played quidditch

“oh! really?? i thought it was obvious.”

he began placing the dressing on your wrist, trying to make sure there was no crinkles in the plastic sticky part

(yes i dont know the actual term for it fucking SUE ME)

“ah, i dont really pay attention to quidditch so.”

“oh. how’d you find out then?” you were curious as to how he knew if he barely knew you and didnt even like quidditch

“hwang hyunjin, you might know him, hes in our year. anyway he dragged me out to watch and you were playing so.”

“ah right. hyunjin’s the slytherin right?”

“yup!”

cue: silence

seungmin was smoothing out the dressing on your wrist

“y-your robes...” seungmin started, picking up his wand from the desk and mumbling a short “tergeo”

suddenly your robes grew warm and the blood siphoned off of them cleanly into seungmins wand

you were now comfortably warn in your robes as you went to pull your sleeve down before seungmin stopped you gently with his hand, checking the dressing was on properly one last time

you shivered at the feeling of his cold fingers, and decided to return the favour of hhim helping you

pulling out your wand, you muttered a soft incantation of a heat charm, pointing your wand over seungmins hands that adorned a pink hue due to the cold of the water earlier

“oh my god thank you” seungmin practically groaned, rubbing his hands together in front of your wand

you laughed quietly at him, finding his satisfaction amusing before he looked up to your face and realised, blushing a deep shade of pink

okay imma keep it real with you chief

you liked seungmin a lot

idk he just??? made you feel so giddy. your stomach like,,, dipped when he smiled at you n stuff

i mean you werent the only one,, there were heaps of people in your year that fawned over the smart boy. hard-workers are always the most popular like come on

but you sorta just knew there was no chance between the two of you and you were perfectly happy being friends with the boy. his friends always hyped him up a bunch like he was some kind of god

you definitely agreed he was good company, even when you two werent necessarily comfortable around each other yet

but anyway, seeing him standing there blushing in front of you made you uwu SO HARD

and you were glad he knew you from something you loved, that being quidditch

wait

fuCK QUIDDITCH PRACTISE YOU ALMOST FORGOT

“seungmin!! im so sorry i have to go!! i have inter house practise!!”

seungmin’s eyes widened a little

i mean yeah you had to go to practise but like also

that was the first time???????? you’d said his name to him???????? excluding the time you asked him if it was in fact his name but like

oh my god seungmins blush got even darker because he didnt know he could like how someone said his name but he definitely likes him name 20 times more when youre saying it and and youre smiling and running out of the infirmary and waving to him and its all too much like his heart rn??? dead. his brain??? he doesnt know her, it turned to mush

seungmin walked over to one of the beds in the hospital wing and sat down, sighing

he was so fucked

,,,,,,,,

“you’re friends with kim seungmin right?” you questioned jisung as you waited for the rest of the schools quidditch players to exit the change rooms

“yeah!! we’re close actually. why?”

jisung was always so excitable and held such confidence in everything he did, he was comfortable to talk to

“oh nothing, i just ran into him at the hospital wing is all”

“hospital wing? he’s still volunteering there??”

you furrowed your brows, “yeah??? is something wrong????”

jisung sighed, scuffing his boot along the grass of the slowly filling pitch and tossing his bat up into the air before catching it nonchalantly (imagine being That Cool)

“yeah. he’s been overworking himself way too much lately. he used to only focus on studying but he’s trying to fit in all this helping staff out and he looks so tired all the time.”

looking back you do remember seungmins hair being a bit more dishevelled than usual, and under his eyes was a little bit darker

“why though? i mean its nice he is but like, he doesnt need to?”

jisung nods thoroughly at you

“thats what we all said! he wont tell us why he’s had this sudden change in heart though.” jisung pouted and you laughed lightheartedly at him

“oh well, he’ll come around right?”

,,,,

he didnt

its been 3 weeks since your conversation with jisung and you can guarantee seungmin was overworking himself to the max

he came into astronomy studies late and ended up falling asleep the other day. it was one of the easier classes to fall asleep in of course due to the whole jinxing the ceiling to look like a nights sky in a dark room n stuff but like still

seungmin never was late to class

seungmin never fell asleep in class

lately youve noticed him turning up to morning classes barely on time, tie askew and hair a complete mess

you’d find it cute if you werent worried for his health

okay you did find it cute but YoU weRe sTiLL WoRRieD

anyway, so it was one day in herbology theory when he fell asleep again

sprout wasnt too happy but let him sleep anyway bc like. if you can sleep through her basically screaming explanations to the class due to her half deafness than yeah, you probably needed it

at the end of the class you packed your things and saw seungmin still peacefully sleeping at his desk and you frowned lightly

so you decided to let him sleep but you sat at your table for a while, using spare parchment and a scribing spell to copy your notes for him

after it was completed, you left it on the table next to him with a bottle of pumpkin juice you were saving for later, your eyebrows still furrowed

why was he overworking himself?

sighing, you just left, deciding it was creepy to be there for so long

anyway, that night you went to the library to find a book you needed for your ancient runes course test

you didnt really expect anyone to be there so late (it was almost curfew, you were forgetful)

and it sorta slipped your mind that seungmin volunteered there until

“need help?”

holy fUCK he scared you like boy you cant go sneakin up on people in an almost empty library and speak loudly like that

anyway so you violently flinched away and he started laughing whilst apologising profusely

you smiled bc he was cute adalsfafrfpi;fef seungmin omg stop

but yeah once he was done, he reiterated “sorry, but is there any book youre looking for?”

“uhhhhh yeah, ancient runes made easy??” you sorta felt dumb saying it out loud but oh well, you needed to pass this test

“follow me then!” seungmin led you out of the tall shelves confines to the middle corridor before delving into another set of shelves, this time he didnt pull out his wand to get the book down, instead he simply reached up and plucked it from the shelf

“here you go!” he handed it to you, it was indeed the book you were looking for and it was in mint condition. not surprising as basically no one took the ancient runes elective rip

you mumbled a thanks, cheeks sorta going a bit red as you stared at your feet because like

kim seungmin

(thats a phat mood btw)

“oh! i almost forgot!” seungmin started, dipping his head down a bit to try and catch your eyes. when you looked up, he smiled

“uh, thanks for what you did today. you know, the notes a-and the pumpkin juice and stuff.”

you watched seungmins cheeks get pinker as he went on

you were full on uwuing at this point

“its okay! really!” you blurted out like omgkimseungministhankingme

suddenly it fell into an almost awkward silence between the two of you

shoes shuffling on the ground and cheeks red

“um, what do you need help with in ancient runes? im all caught up. i could explain something if you want?”

and thats how you ended up on one of the large library tables after curfew with special permission from madam pince

seungmin legit took 15 minutes to explain some stuff to you but now yall were just chillin (in cedar rapids)

you began talking about nothing in particular really

seungmin asked about your quidditch, you asked about his volunteering which he brushed off almost immediately

seungmin and you felt like time didnt exist as you kept talking and talking

you subconsciously moved closer to each other until your thighs were touching

seungmins speech had slowed into a comforting lazy slurring of words, his voice getting heavier with the need for sleep. you felt the same though

his eyes stayed intently on you, even with his cheek in his hand as the conversation slowed to a pleasant silence

you yawned, a hand coming to your face. you knew you should go to bed but you didnt really want to at this point

you looked at seungmin to see him softly smiling at you and your heartbeat picked up. your obvious feelings for him going crazy

“youre really pretty y/n” he mumbled lowly, you almost didnt hear him

of how you wished you didnt hear him because now you were a mess, heart thumping in your chest and red creeping up your neck to your face

how do you reply to that? you were stumped for words honestly

seungmin didnt seem to mind though as he smiled wider, sitting up straight and stretching his arms over his head

“wait here, ill go put out the lamps and we can walk back”

you barely nodded, face still red as seungmin climbed from his seat to wander around, blowing out the candles lighting the library

on your walk back, it was silent. it was comfortable though and seungmin didnt seem to mind your lack of response to his compliment that still had your mind reeling

seungmin waved bye to you as you parted ways, smiles on your faces

seungmin didnt study when he got into his dorm room, falling face first onto his bed and falling into a deep sleep almost immediately

,,,,

waking up, seungmin first realised he was late, only 30 minutes of breakfast left

and then, the memories of seeing you last night flooded it

mid throwing his covers off of his body, he groaned loudly, how on earth had he said that

his cheeks got red just thinking about it

this was a crisis. he dragged on his uniform and grabbed his satchel and sprinted the whole way to the great hall

once he made it, he spotted his friends at the hufflepuff table and dashed to them

“i have a problem”

jisung, hyunjin and jeongin looked up towards seungmin

“what is it?” jeongin asked, eyes lighting up with curiosity. oh did he love seeing his friends suffer

“so i was in the library with y/n last night”

“waiT Y/N THE ONE YOU” hyunjin started before jisung harshly elbowed him in the side

seungmin loves jisung

“yes, shut up hyunjin. anyway i was really tired and not thinking straight and i called them pretty and they didnt even respond im so ashamed”

jeongin started laughing, hyunjin smiling along whilst rubbing the sore spot of his side

seungmin groans and stomps his foot, not happy with the lack of support from his friends

jisung tosses him a sympathetic look, “your problem man, i cant really help.”

seungmin pouts but sits down to eat anyway

,,,,,

okay so its been 3 days and seungmins worried

like seriously

whenever he tries to talk to you your eyes just widen and you walk to other way before he can even get a word out

whenever he passes you in class or in the hallways, he prepares a smile only to be met with you ducking your head to look at the ground as you speed past him

his small waves in class seemingly go unnoticed

but he knows you dont hate him

how? simple. youre still leaving him notes and treats every time he falls asleep in class

so what does he do? like any other desperately in need boy he hatches a plan.

today last period you both share astrology. he’s simply fake falling asleep and confront you whilst you left him the classes notes

seungmins game plan didnt really work tho bc he actually fell asleep like a dumbass

it was last period astrology and seungmin was lying on his books, passed out

the bell rang and you went through your normal routine, copying your notes which included your immaculately drawn sketches of the constellations you’d studied that day

you waked over to his desk and placed them next to his head, the corner of a page accidentally bushing his nose and you like,,, froze

bc he twitched and scrunched his nose up which wouldve been so cute if you werent terrified of him waking up

you put down a cauldron cake as well once he went back to looking peaceful and frowned bc

“seungmin why don’t you rest more?” you whispered

he exhaled deeply in his sleep and a piece of hair fell into his face, subconsciously you went to brush it away and carded your fingers ever so lightly through his hair

but then you halted bc like

wtf thats super creepy

you quickly turned to leave b-but uwu cliche

seungmin grabbed at your wrist yO SEUNGMINS DAINTY ASS FINGERS CURLING THEMSELVES AROUND YOUR WRIST IMAGINE

anyway

you squeaked and turned back around bc wtf it scared you

and seungmin was just sitting up now, arm outstretched grabbing onto yours, eyes wide and hair a fucking cute mess

you were like uhhhhhhhashlfbfkacbsdcbigev

“uh, dont run away, please?” seungmin said, super duper shyly aw hes so CUTE

you like just,,,, shakily nodded at him

seungmin smiled lightly and let go of you, climbing out of his set in lightning speed to stand in front of you

“i uh-, i just wanted to ask why you’ve been avoiding m-me i guess” seungmin started and you cringed

bc this was hella awkward like no

seungmin cut you off before you could say anything tho with a

“bc like if its because i called you pretty and stuff im so so so sorry i didnt mean to make you uncomfortable at all and i feel really bad bc i shouldnt have said it and i was really tired and my judgement wasnt the best and i accidentally made things awkward between us and i dont want that and i just feel really really bad like you dont even have to forgive me or anything i swear”

he said all that in like, under 15 seconds. eminem who???

anyway your eyes just went wide as you processed his words n n you lowkey got a bit emo when he said he said it bc he was tired n stuff n just :^((

“why dont you get enough rest seungmin?” you said blankly

“w-what?” seungmins heart rate SKY ROCKETED

“why dont you get enough rest?”

“uh-, i just um,,, i do get e-enough rest!” he was like, nervously laughing

“no you dont, you fall asleep in 40 percent of your classes.”

“i-, i uh-” “why can’t you tell me??” you questioned, eyebrows furrowing at his anxiousness towards the question

“its uh-, its sorta embarrassing” he replied, looking ANYWHERE but your eyes

“is it bad? did you get into trouble or something?”

“nO! god no!”

“then it doesnt sound that bad to me.” oooh go y/n hold ur ground bub

“uhhhh” seungmin sighed, defeated “okay ill tell you.” you just hummed in response and waited patiently

he exhaled loudly and stared blatanly at your feet before beginning

“i uh. you play quidditch really well and- and you also get near all my scores on tests and stuff and i just felt. idk, dumb or something so i wanted to prove to myself that i could do extra curricular sort of stuff like volunteering and still g-get top scores i guess.”

once he finished he looked into your eyes and you were like ????? what the fuck

you were so confused,,, he was volunteering bc you played quidditch and got good scores???

“seungmin i dont work nearly as hard as you do”

his eyes widened “what do you mean! yes you do! you’re like, on par with jisung and he practises religiously!”

you laughed a little and seungmin furrowed his brows

“seungmin, jisung is muggleborn. whereas my older sister is captain of the tutshill tornados. i dont need to train that hard in quidditch” oh seungmin

the pooor boy

after you made that comment seungmins face just went BRIGHT red lmao

“uhhhhh,,, uh,, uhhh” he didnt know what to say

“anyway seungmin, i suggest you take a break and get some rest so you dont keep saying things accidentally” you said, adjusting your satchel strap on your shoulder and preparing to leave

“what?? acidentally???” seungmin said, preventing you from leaving “you don’t mean me calling you pretty right bc like. i meant that” okay but how was seungmin now so confident especially when he said that

“w-what?” you said, red going ALL over your face lmao like everywhere

“i meant it when i called you pretty i just. i know there was a better time to say it probably” seungmin started getting shyer now like his ears going red he was so cute

‘you think im pretty????????” you were so confused like. kim seungmin?? the kim seungin? thinking youre pretty??? you discreetly pinched yourself, checking this wasnt a dream

“d-dont say it so forwardly like that!” seungmin exclaimed

“you said it forwardly first!” you laughed back at him, ngl you were feeling a little giddy

seungmin just sorta sunk back into himself, feelin super duper shy

your face got even more red as words tumbled out of your mouth before your common sense could stop you

“f-for the record, i-, i think you’re pretty too”

oh my GOD

1) y/n sweetie thank you for telling seungmin this for all of us

2) yoU JUST CALLED SEUNGMIN PRETTY AND NOW HIS EYES WERE WIDE AS FUCK

HE SQUEAKED

HE MCFRICKIN SQUEAKED CAN YALL IMAGINE

he brought a hand up to his mouth in surprise and by this point you were like

too shy to do anything lmfao

so you sorta just looked down at your shoes bc wow all of a sudden your black leather school shoes were immensely and intricately beautiful

not

anyway there was a bit of silence as seungmin regained composure and you were way to embarrassed to say anything at all

but then

but thEN

get ready omg

you dont even notice but suddenly seungmins right in front of you and he’s leaning toward your face and and hes

hes kissED YOUR CHEEK

oh my GOD his cute ass lips just came in contact with your cheek, as quick as lightning but of my god it was worth it

your head whipped up and you gasped

seungmin stood there with an inCREDibly nervous look on his face and his eyes prompting you to respond

like,,,, in any way. pls y/n do something

your mind was fuzzy and the low swooping feeling in your stomach compelled you as you stepped impossibly closer to seungmin, yours and his cheeks radiating a magnificently bright red glow

and you kissed him

thanks again y/n for doing the world a good deed

you sorta squeaked afterwards and went to leap back bc seungmins face was suddenly too close and you were embarrassed and nervous and and

oh my god your heart was beating louder than ever jesus

but before you could leap back, seungmin was wrapping his arms tightly around you, hugging your body and preventing you from distancing yourself from him

his breathing was rapid as his mouth found home near your ear to stutter out a question that would make you squeal if it werent for the fear your legs might give out

“w-wanna go on a-, a date with me? maybe?”

as soon as seungmin felt you nod against him (you didnt trust your voice rn lmao) he smiled, easing into the hug more and essentially melting his heart with yours

uwu

hope you liked it!!!

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fba-art · 5 years

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Just out of curiosity, why don’t you like young justice??

aight, so i knew i was gonna wait to respond to this ‘til i had some time to explain.

and i want to start out by saying that i don’t think Young Justice, as a property, is a bad show. in fact, i think it’s a show that had GREAT potential. i watched every new episode via livestream every saturday lol. and now, i’ll be honest when i say it’s been some time since i’ve rewatched it, and i’m always open to changing opinions. a few years back, i wanted to give it another, fresher perspective and dove in for a rewatch, but ultimately didn’t finish. i don’t remember my reasoning exactly, but i recall being disappointed.and it’s funny i received this ask this week, b/c my friend and i were planning on giving it another rewatch for shits and giggle after finals ( sober or not is tbd ).

but so, here’s where i stand on the show.

i started watching YJ when it was abt 5 episodes into s1. and i binged those first five and stick to my guns that holy SHIT 1-3 are bomb as FUCK. super strong start! Independence Day will never not get me SO HYPE and remind me why i fell in love with DC’s teenage heroes in the first place. it’s so… youthful. a fun conversation for another time.

and now, when i started watching YJ, it was like four months into my making my TT!Kid Flash rp blog, and two months after i’d gotten into reading comics; when i found out Wally was like a biG DC CHARACTER, NOT JUST AN OLD CARTOON ONE-SHOT, i went EVERYWHERE to get my hands on more about Wally West. ironically, the first purchase i ever made from a comic store was a silver age Teen Titans tale, issue #2 of TTY1, and two issues of the old Young Justice comics ( still some of my favorite comics to this day; more on that later ).TL;DRi saw a commercial for YJ, ft. my fave DC char and my fave comic title and went “HOSHIT”.

as the episodes pushed the show’s plot along, it was fun and explorative of a more intense side to the idea of a group of superteens in the DCU. and again, very TEENAGER-Y, which i say in the BEST of ways, considering that was the target audience as well. but, as part of that audience at the time, one of the things that had started to bother me was the character relationships. yeah, i was loving on most of the main cast at the time, but for the first half of the season, the team’s supposedly-close friendships were pushed to the backburner ( EXCEPT for KF and Rob’s, which was one of the only things that got me through the season ). the first season WAS about straining relationships. the social drama was palpable. you NEED conflict in your plots, and char-v-char is especially fun. but i remember feeling like there was little bonding. they were a group of acquaintances, learning to co-habitate the same space- not to say that they didn’t seem like friends, but there was a lack of balance between “teens being professionals in their field” and “teens being immature teens”. both were squeezed in, but both consistently felt forced.

which brings me to the next point: forcing relationships without developing them!i wasn’t sure why i was supposed to care about Roy, like. At all. the team always bringing up that they trained alongside him, grew with the guy, and then??? nada, except when the plot needed edgy tantrumy angst.then there was spitfire. i ship spitfire now, but the ENTIRETY of s1 i was SO FRUSTRATED, because all those two did was bicker. wally was pretty foul to artemis, who was also just plain mean to wally. and i say this with the two of them as my TOP FAVE CHARS.and don’t get me STARTED on the best char on the entire team, KALDUR’AHM!!!! who was shit on by EVERYONE– fandom and plot, alike. actually, i do recall in my last rewatch starting two tallies of everytime kaldur was DISRESPECTED and TREATED LIKE GARBAGE BY TEEN AND ADULT CHARS, versus everytime he was treated respectfully. this boy was BRUTALIZED through s1.m’gann and conner, too– a cute concept, but borderline cringey, even creepy, at times. i was rooting for supermartian. i was. but it was like the writers didn’t know how to write a slowburn. the idea was honestly better on paper than in execution.

the YJ spinoff comics filled in a lot of these gaps, i’ll admit. it explored the chars, their relationships, and their behavior in ways the show seemingly didn’t have time to do, and i LOVE the spinoff series. but i also firmly believe that you shouldn’t need a second media to fix the first. it’s capitalistic and no fun.

through the duration of the show, there were also issues such as the hiatuses. i don’t recall them coming with much warning at a time, nor sticking to much of a schedule. i don’t actually remember what they were for, either. but, before and after each of (three?? was it three?) hiatuses, the showrunners would introduce a new character during a new arc, give said character some liners or plot fodder, and do away with them for the rest of the season ( i.e Rocket, Zatanna, Garth and Tula, etc. ).

i have some other, nitpickier issues– why was wally That Way, why was clark Like That, how come bruce was the ENABLER the entire time, etc– but many can be argued as whether they affected the show as a whole or not.my actual biggest problem was the direction.the director.Greg Weisman.bc idk what the hell he was doing half the time, and i don’t think he knew, either. the writing wasn’t GREAT, but at least it was consistent. Weisman truly had a marketable property, a fan favorite, and one of CN’s best running shows at the time. but between the hiatuses, the writing’s faults, the insufficient character development, and a HUGE ego thanks to his fanbase, Weisman was unable to uphold the integrity of his show. there was both fan-pandering, AS WELL AS consciously going AGAINST fans’ wishes. there was that whole “Ask Greg”-thing, too, where he would get back to a fan once every blue moon and answer background questions about the show’s universe, which became a scene of hot debate. Greg Weisman became the JK Rowling of DC, and lost a lot of my respect with his lack of damage control, and impulse control.

then, with the very inception of the show– and i don’t actually know if i can blame weisman for this or not, but i wanna know who pitched it, otherwise– the show’s CONCEPT. why was Young Justice made with this particular cast of characters, cherrypicked through DC history, aged down or revamped or just cut-and-pasted where they didn’t fit? why was its concept, “COVERT TEAM OF ADOLESCENTS WITH SUPERPOWERS WORKING TOGETHER WITH LACK OF SUPERVISION”? why was the show called “Young Justice” when what they wanted was the TT v3 comics? WHY DID WE NEED TO TURN SUPERMAN INTO THE UNAVAILABLE-FATHER TROPE????? questions that will forever remain unanswered. that’s a lie, i can answer most of them, myself.but all in all, a show with great potential that failed in execution.

season 2, i actually enjoyed more than season 1– it felt like there was more of a handle on the story and cast, alike. did i approve of season 2 and what went down? debatable. but that’s a very subjective view. objectively, season 2 flowed better than season 1, but still didn’t follow through on subplots, nor resolved relationships or even characterization ( m’gann, girl what the fuck?? ). very little team bonding, save for, once again, two chars out of the whole team. again, another season of SO much potential, but one that fell short.

its pros, however– i really enjoyed the darker themes, getting darker as time went on. there was a lot of tragedy in s2, and different perspectives and walks of life to watch through different lenses. a much more diverse cast, and very different conflicts to tackle. i was impressed. i don’t think all the controversies were resolved, but i also wasn’t quite as upset that they weren’t; open-ended conflict is frustrating, but is a great lead-in to another season.

————which, for better or for worse, we weren’t supposed to have.i personally would’ve rather the show ended there, not quite on a high note ( are u fucking kidding me fjaoisdfjoaifio waLLY, this was during the n52, too ), but with a concrete END. of course there was more to explore, the world they’d built was a big one, but we didn’t need to.

i was literally just yesterday chatting w my sis, bc after school lets out, we wanna watch season 3. i really do. i’m upset that there is one, but i do wanna know what happens to my faves. and, on top of that, i’ve been meaning to do one BIG rewatch, anyways, to get me set up for s3. as a student of film, it’s a huge philosophy of mine to rewatch EVERYTHING and go in with the intent of giving it a fresh start and a clean slate– both medias i love, and medias i hate. it’s important to analyze pop culture critically, and even things that aren’t good can still be enjoyable.

for me, Young Justice wasn’t a phenomenal show to begin with, from its technological side to its creative team to its politics, and i stopped enjoying it pretty early on. but, that isn’t to say it didn’t accomplish GREAT things, and isn’t UN-enjoyable; it has its moments. also i would DIE for most of the cast, i fucking love the characters.

i don’t think anyone is wrong for liking Young Justice. i try to stay in the loop about it, and form new opinions based on whatever information is out there until i can get ahold of the source material. and, i do like aspects of the show. but ultimately, it just isn’t my cup of tea.

#Anonymous #LONG post under read more #rambley. sorry about that it's 1 AM

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ginmo · 5 years

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I’ve been sure since I read AFFC/ADWD that Jaime’s getting one of the better endings because House Lannister isn’t gonna be wiped out and both Cersei and Tyrion are now Too Dark To Live. But I’ve seen a lot of people rewatching bring up that awful sept fuck up and consensus is that it renders him irredeemable. The show is gonna have to WORK to avoid a million thinkpieces when he gets both power and a family. I’m not convinced they’ll pull it off.

That scene was gross af, but we’ve since learned that the intent of the scene was not for it to be rape. We also know that canon Jaime is not a rapist. So if the narrative intent was for it to NOT be rape (and ended up being just a really bad fuck up from writers, director, post production) then we can’t blame the non-rapist character for the shitty product. What’s gross is they didn’t realize they filmed a rape scene, so people need to shift their blame from Jaime to the filmmakers. If people are really stuck on Jaime being a rapist even though in canon he isn’t and wasn’t even meant to be on the show, then they’re going to really hate the outcome of this story, because there won’t be anything to revisit Jaime being a rapist in the narrative (such as redemption for that) because he isn’t supposed to be. This is why most of fandom acknowledges that scene was an oops from the production and don’t use it to judge the character.

In other words, since the show was doing a direct adaptation of a consensual canon sex scene from the books, thinking their adaption was also a consensual sex scene, then the narrative itself doesn’t need to, and will not, do anything to have Jaime redeem himself for something he didn’t do, but that the filmmakers stupidly did.

My friend Koops went off on this topic a while back, so I’m going to add a read more where I quote her posts. It’s way more than you asked about, and I already answered the question, but I just really love her rant over the sex scene lol. So for those who want cast, crew, and GRRM quotes, discussion of that D&D video people love to refer to, and a total take down of basically why using that scene against Jaime is completely moronic then here it is:

In response to this D&D video:

I don’t think this video disproves anything. The girl is calling it “rape” but they are not once owning up to it. They’re calling it “this” and insisting that’s something Jaime would do in that moment, but it feels to me like what they were trying to do is avoid getting into a debate about whether it’s rape or not, because they know that can get them into all kinds of trouble. ETA: Also, notice how David rolls his eyes towards the end and the person who captioned the video interpreted it as him rolling his eyes at the girl who asked the question. I don’t think he is at all, that was 5 minutes earlier, talk about a delayed reaction. I think he’s rolling his eyes at KIT stepping in just as David had finished answering with that stupid comment calling it rape and saying how great it is that the show has rape scenes, when David had been so careful in avoiding using that word all along in order not to get into an argument. And they’re emphasizing how hard this was for Lena and so on (despite, IIRC, her always saying it wasn’t intended as rape), just to earn feminist points of “we know how tough this is for women, look at how distraught we all were filming it”.If that had been their intention, they would have followed up on it in subsequent scenes/interactions, which is something the show does with rape scenes (see Sansa). Yet it was never mentioned again and it’s like it never happened. I think D&D sometimes have a bit of a rape-style fetish when it comes to sex scenes because it makes them come across as “edgy”. See the way they wrote the broken tower sex scene in the original pilot script or the way they changed Dany and Drogo’s wedding night. But they refuse to admit it and hide behind nonsense like “this is something the character would do”. They want to see how far they can push it, basically.Even if we want to say they’re admitting to have it intended as rape, saying this is something Jaime would do is absolutely ridiculous since not only he saved Brienne from rape but in the books he even has one of his men executed for TRYING to rape Pia. It’s nothing to do about having a linear redemption arc or not, it’s about WHAT kind of “bad things” the character does and whether it’s consistent with its characterization or not. Rape, for Jaime, is absolutely NOT. Equating that scene to Jaime pushing Bran out of a window is completely insane since the two things are dramatically different in motivation and intention and while Jaime is a complex guy that can do horrible things for his family and for Cersei, he doesn’t do them out of his own selfishness, especially when it comes to sex when he even refuses women throwing himself at him. Not to mention the entire point of Jaime’s “bad deed(s)” is that he has to own up to them and deal with them and their consequences. If you just ignore that sept scene ever happened and never deal with it again then you either think it isn’t a big deal, or it wasn’t a bad deed in the first place. Otherwise it adds absolutely nothing to the character’s arc. It’s like they think that a “complex/not good guy” engages into all sorts of “bad behaviour” just by virtue of being complex/not good, which actually does precisely what they’re claiming they don’t want to do; i.e. making a clear cut distinction between good and bad guys, since they’re equating all possible bad actions as being equal and the same and stemming from the same psychological motivations, which is ridiculous. The bottom line to me always comes to the fact that, unlike most stuff post S5, we have the scene in the books, in written format, and we KNOW it’s not meant to be rape. It’s meant to be the kind of gross, rough, angry sex those two have. To change the intention of the scene just because you feel “that’s something the character would do”, to me is not really caring about really understanding the character’s intentions in the first place, since you have source material and an author you can check with. They simply didn’t care in order to get HBO points.

And for some quotes

I find the idea that we are meant to read into Cersei’s actions after the sept encounter in the books as indicative of a woman who experienced rape, or that George did not come out to straight up say the words “I did not write it as rape” (he would never throw D&D under the bus that way, come on) as evidence that it was indeed intended to be rape all along in the books, even more of twisting oneself into a pretzel than trying to explain away the scene in the show as not rape. Neither D&D nor George have ever shied away from calling rape out for what it is in the show or the books. Why would they suddenly tiptoe around this one particular scene? I think it’s because the issue here is much more nuanced than just filming a rape scene; it’s about the grey lines of consent and it’s about changing something from the books to make it look much worse than it originally was intended to be, for a character they know it will be regarded as very controversial/OOC, which raises all sorts of uncomfortable questions about how far D&D are willing to go for shock value. This is what GRRM has to say on the issue (bolded and underlined for emphasis):

“I think the “butterfly effect” that I have spoken of so often was at work here. In the novels, Jaime is not present at Joffrey’s death, and indeed, Cersei has been fearful that he is dead himself, that she has lost both the son and the father/ lover/ brother. And then suddenly Jaime is there before her. Maimed and changed, but Jaime nonetheless. Though the time and place is wildly inappropriate and Cersei is fearful of discovery, she is as hungry for him as he is for her.The whole dynamic is different in the show, where Jaime has been back for weeks at the least, maybe longer, and he and Cersei have been in each other’s company on numerous occasions, often quarreling.The setting is the same, but neither character is in the same place as in the books, which may be why Dan & David played the sept out differently. But that’s just my surmise; we never discussed this scene, to the best of my recollection.Also, I was writing the scene from Jaime’s POV, so the reader is inside his head, hearing his thoughts. On the TV show, the camera is necessarily external. You don’t know what anyone is thinking or feeling, just what they are saying and doing. If the show had retained some of Cersei’s dialogue from the books, it might have left a somewhat different impression — but that dialogue was very much shaped by the circumstances of the books, delivered by a woman who is seeing her lover again for the first time after a long while apart during which she feared he was dead. I am not sure it would have worked with the new timeline.”

Nothing whatsoever of what GRRM is saying above in explaining how he wrote their sept encounter even remotely hints at the fact that he intended consent to be even a question in his original work. He is not pointing out that he is writing from Jaime’s POV to build a contrast with Cersei’s, he is pointing out that he is writing from Jaime’s POV to build a contrast between the books medium and the camera medium and what each does or does not allow. And he goes further by saying that Cersei’s dialogue from the books might have helped giving a different impression of the scene: i.e. that it was NOT rape. What is happening is George trying to distance himself from D&D’s choice while at the same time being a professional and not bashing their botched adaptation of his work, by explaining why perhaps they might have decided to approach it differently from the way HE wrote the original scene and how maybe some of his material might not have fit because of the timeline.We actually have Cersei’s own POV later in the books, where she reminisces about tons of events from her close and distant past, and not once does she ever think back upon that incident in the sept in a way so as to indicate it was in any way a “traumatic” experience for her, while she does plenty of reflecting back upon her unpleasant sexual experiences with Robert, for example. Meanwhile, Cersei being disgusted with Jaime’s loss of his hand, or the way his looks are changing and his personality is changing, is very much a plot point that she comes back to over and over. “How could I have ever loved such a wretched creature?”, or getting up naked from a bathtub in front of Jaime thinking he still wants her and even taunting him with “Pining what you lost?” and then getting annoyed that Jaime pretty much tells her she’s a fool for thinking that? Hardly dynamics one has with their rapist. And also GRRM also says:

The scene was always intended to be disturbing, but I do regret if it has disturbed people for the wrong reasons.

“It has disturbed people FOR THE WRONG REASONS”, means that he wanted that scene to cause controversy because of how damn gross it all is, them having sex next to the corpse of their incestuous son, not because there was an issue of consent. So, no. The book scene was not intended to have consent be a central point, let alone rape. Yes, something happened in the adaptation to make it come across as significantly more forced, in a way that can very rightfully be interpreted as rape, while at the same time not being intended to be rape for plot point’s sake. But, when it comes to the filming of that scene, this is what the director had to say:

Of course Lena and Nikolaj laughed every time I would say, “You grab her by the hair, and Jack is right there,” or “You come around this way and Jack is right there.“

Yeah. Lena was SO distraught and it was so difficult for her to film that “rape” scene. They was totally totally totally directed to play it as such, and were so serious and affected by it. Give me a break, David. And also:

The consensual part of it was that she wraps her legs around him, and she’s holding on to the table, clearly not to escape but to get some grounding in what’s going on. And also, the other thing that I think is clear before they hit the ground is she starts to make out with him. The big things to us that were so important, and that hopefully were not missed, is that before he rips her undergarment, she’s way into kissing him back. She’s kissing him aplenty.

So there’s two possibilities here: either D&D intended it as rape from the start, but didn’t give clear instructions to the director, and, in turn, Nik and Lena, so that they didn’t set out to shoot it the way D&D intended, or nobody intended it as rape but something was messed up in the editing process (apparently after this scene, they made some changes to the editing process? Not sure how reliable this info is, but maybe someone can dig it out, if they remember). Regardless, what they ended up with is a scene that has some serious, serious issues of consent, and the comments afterwards, trying to downplay the consent in favour of highlighting the context or the way Cersei did give non-verbal consent, only ended up stirring more criticism of the director and actors being rape apologists. So, it doesn’t surprise me if they’ve just given up trying to defend their original intentions, since it only made things worse (and rightfully so), in favour of trying to explain it away the way GRRM did; by trying to make up explanations that the narrative required it and it made sense to be filmed that way.So, to conclude and link everything back to the reason why we are debating this (i.e. “NCW is a misogynist for disliking Dany when Jaime is a rapist and he excuses him”), while I can totally sympathize with a show-only person who watches that scene and sees it as rape, I also think this particular scene is not something we can use in the discourse about Jaime’s character and arc, given that not only there are huge question marks about what was intended with that scene in the first place, not only it is forgotten like it never happened to the point that you could skip it and nothing would change, but we know for a fact that it was NOT what was intended in the original source material by the original author. The one who decides where the characters’ arcs are supposed to go. You cannot say “it doesn’t make sense that Jaime does X and Y in his endgame because he’s a rapist” when that endgame is being decided by someone who never wrote Jaime as a rapist in the first place. All you can say is that D&D messed up big time with that scene because it literally does not line up or fit with anything else that is going on at the time or in the past or in the future when it comes to Jaime.

- Koops (jaimetheexplorer)

#.#..#...#....#.....#sept sex #rape

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juleswritesthis · 6 years

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My Thoughts...this is a long one - WilSon and DOOL

DOOL was great today. I actually watched the entire episode because I was so excited to see Eric beat up Brady. Now I don’t follow anything but the WilSon story so I’m not sure I understood it all but from what I ascertained between the yelling and accusations is that this lady Nicole was with Brady but wanted to be with Eric who she truly loved. So Brady blackmailed her using some evidence proving she committed a murder to some guy named Desmos or something. And Nicole not wanting to lose her daughter by going to jail was forced to flee Salem after telling Eric she doesn’t love him. Eric was left heartbroken and Brady found Eve (who just in the scenes I’ve watched is not much of a find, ugh annoying lady) who he is now engaged and loves and happiness blah blah blah. So hell yes Brady deserved that punch and way more. What a horrible thing to do to your brother, especially after he went after Will last week expecting Will to give up Sonny the man he loves for Paul. Thank you Eric! (Just a side note Greg Vaughn who plays Eric is an excellent actor. I remember him from Charmed season 2. He did an amazing job in the scenes today. I wish they paired him with Chandler Massey more, their emotional scenes would be incredible).

As for the WilSon/Paul scenes oh soap angst and turmoil. So the way I see it Will is in a shitty situation. I understand why WilSon decided that Will would stay with Paul. When it comes to injuries like what Paul is suffering, attitude, state of mind and support of loved ones is imperative to recovery. If Will were to tell Paul the truth it could crush him and his will to recover (lol at the punning). So waiting to tell him the truth seems like a good idea for now (”seems”). Especially since it Paul’s family is nowhere to be seen. Brady is too busy boning his fiance and betraying his brother. John is busy hiding comatose Marlena and keeping from marrying crazy Hattie. And I have no idea what Belle is doing but she doesn’t seem too concerned about her brother. I’m not sure if Paul has other family but it seems like Will is his one constant support right now. Yeah after 5 months of dating it’s all on Will...crazy!

But the WilSon plan is to have Will stay with Paul FOREVER is just ridiculous. First off they are doing this for Paul, but in the long run it will only harm him. Second this doesn’t only affect Will and Sonny but Arianna too. She deserves to grow up in a loving home with both her dads. Will should know better than anyone what happens to a child from a broken home going from parent to parent to parent. Third, Will and Sonny have lost 3 years because of the evil doings of others (Ben, Susan, & Dr. Rolf). They already sacrificed so much its not right to ask them to sacrifice their entire life and happiness.

I’ll be honest this decision is being pushed by Sonny. I think Will would have caved already because he looked like he was going to hurl throughout that entire conversation with Paul. Will is absolutely miserable not only because he lost Sonny but because he has to lie to Paul , a person he does love. And there is Paul, his face alight with hope and excitement for the future and poor Will is feeling sad and guilty.

So why is Sonny pushing this? Yes he cares for Paul too but this is mostly guilt. Sonny still feels guilty about leaving Paul at the alter. Of course I don’t see how Sonny had a choice at the time hearing that his dead husband could be alive. But I get how Sonny doesn’t want to hurt Paul more. Its going to happen though. Because Paul is going to find out one way or another. Listen to your mom Sonny! (I can’t believe I actually typed that :) ).

I figure Paul is going to keep questioning Will’s decision because lets face it, it doesn’t make sense that Will would remember his deep love for Sonny and not want to be with him, even Paul knows it. So Will is either going to cave or he will up the stakes by doing something crazy like proposing. Since this is a soap and Will is famous for his stupid crazy decisions, I’m going with the latter...or maybe they will just move in together when Paul is released from the hospital.

Paul will either see Will & Sonny in a comprising position (kiss or hug or something) or he will overhear them or one of the many others who know about the WilSon plan. No way are they keeping this a secret with Adrienne, Justin, Brady, Eve, Chad, and Lucas all in the know. These people may be busy with their own problems now, but the truth will come out. And since Christopher Sean is leaving in a few weeks it will all blow up some time around November sweeps. At least that’s my bet.

In regards to the scenes today, fantastic! Well mostly. Adrienne seemed more heartbroken than Sonny lol. She was bawling her eyes out. Is she suppose to represent WilSon fans? To think she was one of the few that opposed the WilSon relationship at the beginning. My how far she has come.

I snorted my way through the scenes between Justin, Lucas and Bonnie. I don’t know much of what’s going on but every time Bonnie refers to baby Bon Bon I can’t help but laugh. And then Lucas’ saying the first thing he will do is change his baby’s name...omg too funny. I would love to see Will’s reaction when he learns he has a new baby sister. Although he is probably use to his parents crazy lives by now (nope they aren’t boring! ;)).

Next Paul. I don’t know his character baffles me. Its like they prop him up to be this innocent victim, but he knew Sonny and Will loved each other fiercely back 3 years ago and though I place the blame on WilSon (mostly Will) Paul was part of the reason for their break down back then. In addition, Paul is continuously putting himself between Will and Sonny. He didn’t have to start dating brain damaged amnesiac Will. Why after the heartbreak with Sonny would he chose to be in the middle again? So he’s not an innocent. Sonny and Will’s continuous “Paul so good, he’s so perfect and brave” really grates me. Even if he wasn’t an angel this decision with Paul lying broken in the hospital would be hard so why keep rewriting history to support the poor perfect Paul image?

In addition, Paul talking to Will about their affair like it was meant by the gods was crazy. Dude that affair broke a family it’s not something to look back on with fondness and a smile. Will looked like he was going to hurl when Paul mentioned Sonny as Will’s husband. Also didn’t Paul and Will hate each other and Paul wanted to be with Sonny back then. Did Paul get amensia during his fall too? WTH? But still watching Paul’s excitement and knowing the truth about who Will really wants does make me feel sorry for him.This is not going to end well.

Finally Will’s last words to Sonny “He’s not you.” Wowzer Will. You know how to drop the mike. I’m anxiously waiting for that gif. That one 30 second scene was so well done Will literally didn’t need to say anything else. Agh the angst!

I just hope when all is said and done, the Days writers won’t find another reason to keep WilSon apart. It’s been almost 4 years, almost 6 counting Chandler’s Will leaving. So yeah really enjoying this angst for now as long as November brings back my WilSon time!

(PS to Paul fans if you happen to read this, I don’t hate Paul nor Horita. I’m just not happy with how they write for him. I wish he had more story than just Will or Sonny. It’s too bad cuz Christopher Sean is a good actor).

#WilSon #my thoughts #DOOL #Will Horton #Sonny Kiriakis #This is a long rambling post feel free to skip :)

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joonie-beanie · 6 years

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Oh, Baby (Namjoon x Reader) Pt. 17

[Pt 1] [Pt 2] [Pt 3] [Pt 4] [Pt 5] [Pt 6] [Pt 7] [Pt 8] [Pt 9] [Pt 10] [Pt 11] [Pt 12] [Pt 13] [Pt 14] [Pt 15] [Pt 16] [Pt 18]

Pairing: Namjoon/RM x Reader Rating: M Genre: Smut/Mafia-ish AU

Words: 4,982

Summary: You were only supposed to have seen him twice. Only twice, no more, but now you’re getting dragged into situations you never wished for and Namjoon just keep showing up.

A/N: Hey would you look at that. I managed an update...I think? I’m really tired rn lmao. Jet lag is still kicking my ass. Anyway! 3 chapters left after this~ I just finished the plot too, so hopefully I’ll be able to update faster. No promises though lol.

Enjoy~

Yoongi finds himself standing in Namjoon’s living room, fingers fiddling with the bowtie around his neck. He decides to wear it loose, and judges against wearing any kind of necklace, because the last thing he needs is additional routes leading to death by strangulation.

His black button down is fitted to him well—tucked neatly into his dark trousers. His blazer hangs by his sides, unbuttoned, and he feels too open without a gun tucked beneath his belt. The realization makes him frown, but he knows this is the safest route, and instead moves to mess with his cufflinks instead.

A few seconds later, a door clicks open behind him, and Yoongi turns to survey his closest friend.

Namjoon’s outfit is perhaps a little more suited to a ball atmosphere than Yoongi’s. His velvet black blazer is a little…flashy (at least in Yoongi’s opinion), but beneath the blazer his white dress shirt is perfectly unwrinkled, very loosely tucked into the waistband of his tight-fitting…

“Are those jeans?” Yoongi questions, frowning in distaste, and Namjoon turns to stare at him. His eyes rake Yoongi up and down, and then he frowns as well.

“If you’re allowed to go to a ball wearing all black, I’m not allowed to take liberty with my clothes and decide to wear dark jeans?”

“Touché,” Yoongi concedes, but rolls his eyes. After all, in the end, their outfits aren’t exactly the most imperative part of tonight. They’re not going to this ball to have a good time.

Staring at his best friend, Yoongi feels nostalgia pang within his chest. Namjoon is no longer the scared 19 year old Yoongi had decided to pitifully share half his meal with all those years ago, when he’d spotted Namjoon curled in on himself in the back of the gang’s hideout. He’d been thin—hair unkempt, and face unshaved—not moving from his spot unless called upon. He had looked like the whole world was crumbling around him, when in reality the world continued to move, and Namjoon had instead decided to disconnect.

He hadn’t looked too young to be a part of their gang—younger kids than him had gotten into the mafia way of life—but at a mere glance Yoongi could tell that Namjoon hadn’t joined by choice. And while Yoongi had, that didn’t mean couldn’t sympathize, and that he never regretted his decision.

And so, Yoongi had managed to get Namjoon to raise his head—and not out fear of discipline, but out of curiosity—because Namjoon had heard the sincere concern in Yoongi’s tone. And kindness—which had vanished from Namjoon’s life weeks before—was exactly what he needed to feel in that moment.

Almost immediately, Namjoon had taken to Yoongi like a lost puppy, and while, at that time, Yoongi had no real intention of becoming Namjoon’s keeper, he had let the younger boy stay near.

After that, slowly, Namjoon had opened up—no longer refusing to acknowledge the new world which he resided in—and, in return, Yoongi had quietly begun to take to Namjoon. His wit and knowledge became obvious to their men. He was able to tackle problems or lay out strategies within seconds. And the more Yoongi realized that Namjoon wasn’t just a scared kid with no hope, the more Yoongi’s heart had let Namjoon in.

However, it was Namjoon who—during the moment that the world flipped upside down—grabbed Yoongi’s hand, looked him straight in the eyes, and had told him that they needed to run.

It was Yoongi who, when another, stronger gang attacked their hideout, stood in shock, hand reaching toward his gun, ready to run into the fray. When Namjoon stopped him, Yoongi’s anger had exploded—where was the loyalty?? Their gang was being attacked! And yet, the seriousness swirled together with the heartache in Namjoon’s eyes, and, as the screams of the men he had come to know rang out in the background, Namjoon had asked Yoongi one question.

“Are you ready to die?”

That day, Namjoon and Yoongi had abandoned their gang.

Yoongi had feared for the future—what would become of them? What would happen if anyone from their gang found out that they had abandoned them that day? Yet, when no one came looking for them after the massacre, it became obvious that had Yoongi not fled with Namjoon, he would be dead as well.

“Do you ever wish you would’ve fled alone?” Yoongi finds himself asking, eyes angled towards the space on the floor between him and Namjoon. Silence descends, and Yoongi glances up, meeting Namjoon’s puzzled, slightly angry stare.

“Do you wish I had?”

“That’s not what I asked,” Yoongi mumbles, and Namjoon turns to look in the floor length mirror on the wall. Yoongi watches him as he silently messes with his styled blond hair, which has now gone dark at the roots.

“After my whole world crumbled, you were the only one that managed to make me see hope again. If you had died that day, I don’t know where I’d be.”

Yoongi sighs at the sentimentality, “Joon—”

“You know I’m right,” Namjoon interrupts, eyes flicking up and meeting Yoongi’s through the mirror. “Do you regret coming with me?”

“No,” Yoongi answers without hesitation, and Namjoon nods his head, satisfied. However, Yoongi only sighs again, back hunching as he furrows his brows. The room descends into silence, and when Namjoon moves to grab his wallet and keys from the kitchen table—brushing past Yoongi—the elder finally speaks up.

“You know, Joon…if we do this tonight we’re probably fucked.”

Without pausing in his stride, seemingly unbothered, Namjoon replies.

“You can back out if you want. I wouldn’t blame you.”

At that, Yoongi bites his tongue angrily, arm lashing out as he takes a step forward.

“You’re—! You’re such a fucking softie, and goddamn I think a part of me hates you for it, but I’m not bitching out now. Not after all the shit we’ve been through together.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Namjoon responds sincerely, and his tone causes Yoongi’s building frustration to melt. Instead, curiosity coats his next question.

“But…why now? Why her? You’ve come so far, and are risking the loss of so much…”

At that, Namjoon pauses. He stares at the table top, face relaxed even as he attempts to find a way to describe the thoughts floating around in his mind.

As he thinks, Yoongi moves around to the other side of the kitchen, gathering up his own keys and wallet. It’s not until the two are beside each other at the door to Namjoon’s apartment that he finally answers.

“It’s because…I see a lot of me in her. A college student that got dragged into a different world because of a mistake. My mistake. I made a mistake by confusing her for Jaehyuk’s daughter, but I don’t regret letting her go—not even when you dragged her back here a second time. I was the catalyst for all of this—so no matter my feelings for her—I owe her this much. I have to do right by her, hyung. I know you must understand.”

“I do,” Yoongi responds quietly, stepping out after Namjoon as the two exit his apartment. They both pause to stare at the closed door, wondering if they’ll ever see it again, but nonetheless they turn their backs and move on.

They don’t have any more time to dwell what was or what could’ve been. They need to get moving.

Because tonight, it all ends.

The closer Namjoon and Yoongi get to Jeon Enterprises, the more crowded the streets become. Lanes are blocked off—police are directing guest’s one direction or another, pointing the VIP’s towards the valet parking. However, Yoongi doesn’t follow the flow of traffic. He takes a back alleyway, splitting off from Namjoon—who had been driving in front of him.

Since Namjoon is a guest, he has no reason to beat around the bush about his means of entry. But Yoongi, on the other hand—

He pulls into the fresh parking lot of a building under construction. The “Do Not Enter” signs have been moved out of the way, and when Yoongi turns into the lot, he immediately spots Jimin, leaning against the trunk of his car. There’s a case of guns laid out in front of him, and he’s checking every magazine, making sure each firearm is ready to go.

However, when Yoongi’s headlights flash against the side of Jimin’s car as he pulls into a nearby parking spot, Jimin’s head jolts up. His hand instinctively reaches for a gun, but when he sees that it’s Yoongi, he relaxes.

“Where are the others?” Yoongi asks, stepping out of his vehicle, and Jimin grunts.

“Where do you think? Everything is on track right now. Did Namjoon hyung head to the ball?”

“Yeah. He was right ahead of me,” Yoongi confirms, stepping up beside Jimin, and when he reaches for one of the guns Jimin smacks his hand away. Yoongi clicks his tongue, grumbling.

“I wasn’t gonna do anything…”

“I didn’t think you were,” Jimin laughs, and then, after surveying the array of firearms one more time, flips the case shut and locks it. Turning, he meets Yoongi’s stare and then hands the case over. Yoongi takes it, the armored case heavy in his grasp.

“We better get going,” Jimin tells him, “the ball should already be in full swing, and I don’t know how long—”

“Yeah—just—give me a second, Minnie,” Yoongi interrupts. He steps forward, caging Jimin against the trunk of the car, and Jimin cocks an eyebrow. Not daring to say anything, Yoongi lifts his free hand and caresses Jimin’s rosy cheek.

After a few seconds, the older sighs.

“If I die—”

“You won’t.”

“—shut up, brat. If I die, I want you to know how I feel, so—”

“You’re not going to die, hy—,” Jimin begins to refute yet again, but part way through his words Yoongi’s lips find his, and he’s silenced. Jimin stares at Yoongi’s half lidded eyes in shock, but when the elder grips Jimin’s chin, eyes closing as he deepens the kiss, Jimin presses forward. His hands cup Yoongi’s face, eyes pressing shut as he returns the gesture.

Neither of them are quite sure how long their bout of kisses last, but it’s not until Jimin is fully seated on the trunk of his car, Yoongi’s free hand gripping the younger’s ass, that Yoongi finally manages to break away.

“Didn’t you say we needed to go?” he whispers against Jimin’s lips, and Jimin nods, his hand untangling from Yoongi’s hair.

“Yeah,” he says, just as quiet, and with one final kiss Yoongi and Jimin separate. They pile into Jimin’s car, the case of firearms resting on Yoongi’s lap, and without another word exit the structure.

10 minutes later, Jimin pulls up behind the Jeon enterprises building. He and Yoongi take a single glance at each other, sharing a determined nod, and then Yoongi spills out of the car. He’s never been a good actor, exactly, but right now he’ll certainly put aside any fear embarrassment in order to fulfill his role.

“Hey--,” the security guard yells at him as he flurries past the gate, but Yoongi doesn’t stop, instead pointing to the case in his hand.

“I’m part of the photography crew! I’m late—!”

“You still need to check in!” the security guard yells back, hand on his walkie as he prepares to give chase, but at that moment a figure appears at the back entrance of the building.

“Hey! Where the hell have you been??” the male calls, and Yoongi silently approves of the fact that Hoseok doesn’t look like he’s shaking in his boots. Apparently he can get his shit together when he needs to.

“Sorry! I got caught up in all the traffic!” Yoongi apologizes sheepishly as Hoseok pulls him inside, and when Yoongi chances a glance over his shoulder, he notes that the security guard has now given up on chasing him.

What a shitty guard, but then again, lucky for them.

Continuing to pull Yoongi along, Hoseok eventually stops and darts into a small side room. He locks the door behind Yoongi, and then proceeds to release the most stressed sigh Yoongi has ever heard, his body deflating.

“You’ve made it this far,” Yoongi comments, attempting to give Hoseok some reassurance as he kneels down and opens the brief case. Hoseok makes a small noise at the sight of the guns, but Yoongi pays him no mind.

“Get undressed.”

“You’re such the friendly guy, Yoongi hyung,” Hoseok snorts sarcastically, but nonetheless begins taking off his clothes. Pleated white dress shirt, form fitting black slacks, and a black bowtie around his neck—he looks perfectly like one of the waiters scattered throughout the ballroom.

“And no one could tell that you weren’t a part of the crew?” Yoongi says, standing as he begins to undress as well. Hoseok shakes his head.

“Everyone is too busy. Too many important people here. They saw the way I was dressed and immediately assumed I was wait-staff without even asking.”

“Good,” Yoongi says, and once the two males are down to their wife beaters and briefs, they change clothes.

“A little big but it will work,” Yoongi comments, smoothing his hands down the front of Hoseok’s clothing. Once Hoseok is dressed, he looks Yoongi over as well.

“You fit the part. But are you sure you wanna change roles? After the security guard saw you?”

“The fat fuck doesn’t give a shit. He’s gonna sit out there all night tapping his foot to the music. Why? You want to be the one confronting our good friends Jaehyuk and Jeon? Or would you rather pose as the photographer and pass out some guns?”

Hoseok sighs, brows furrowing. “Jin hyung did say passing out guns would be safer…”

“Then there you go, Hoseok,” Yoongi responds, smacking the younger male on the shoulder. Hoseok winces, but nonetheless leans down and picks up the briefcase. Before he can begin filling the guns into the fake camera bag also stuffed within the case, however, Yoongi is sure to stop him, picking out his gun of choice. He tucks it beneath his belt, and thankfully the weapon remains hidden due to the length of his suit jacket.

Nodding, Yoongi then spares Hoseok one last glance before he straightens himself out and exits the room. He knows that Hoseok will take another minute or two before he’s done concealing the guns, but that’s fine, because Yoongi doesn’t need anyone wondering why a photographer and waiter had been locked in a closet together.

Deciding to follow the sound of the music, Yoongi maneuvers his way down the short halls. He breathes deep, trying to relax the tense muscles in his back and shoulders, and reminds himself that all he can do for now is trust in their plan, and play his role the best he can. He hates feeling nervous—like his win isn’t guaranteed—but if everything goes as it should, then…

Yoongi pauses. On his right is a small pantry, in which a few other waiters are refilling trays of champagne and hors d'oeuvres. Popping his head into the room, Yoongi happily offers to take one of the trays out to the floor, and the other waiter’s just grunt at him, moving their heads in a way that Yoongi can tell is approval.

So, after grabbing a tray, Yoongi turns back around and continues following the chatter and flow of people to the ballroom floor. For a brief second, he pauses in the entrance way, the expanse of the pristine room stretching before him, but in that moment any of his persistent nervousness is squashed by the determination of what he must do, and he starts forward.

First things first—he needs to find you.

You find yourself toted around the ballroom like some kind of show dog—Jaehyuk keeping you in close proximity, and more times than not his hand gripping your wrist or resting heavily on your waist. Between the millions of thoughts going on in your mind, you still manage to note that Jaehyuk doesn’t seem entirely comfortable being at the center of the ball.

I suppose he is supposed to be dead, you think, blaming his behavior on that. You’re sure there are people here who heard rumors and would be shocked to see that Jaehyuk is up and walking.

Speaking of—

“This is my daughter, Y/N,” you hear him say, his fingernails digging into your waist, and you force a smile on instinct. You don’t even know who it is you’re talking to, or what has been said. “Tonight, Kim Namjoon dies” has been on the forefront of your mind from the moment Jaehyuk had said it, and you can’t deny that since then you’ve been trying to spot Namjoon, rather than paying attention to the people Jaehyuk has begun to converse with.

Understandably, you’re still in shock. Jeon teaming up with Jaehyuk…Namjoon being targeted by them both, and the fact that they’re apparently planning to kill him at the ball tonight. Which means that he’s here, just within your reach, but…it’s… it’s just... a lot to try and wrap your head around, really. But you aren’t given the chance to figure out all your thoughts—aren’t given a second to take a deep breath and reaffirm your hopes that everything will turn out alright. Which is why, right now, you’re panicked and nervous and definitely not acting the way Jaehyuk expects his perfect little “daughter” to.

“I apologize,” you say after you feel Jaehyuk’s grip tighten, vaguely managing to hear the couple in front of you asking if you’re alright. “I’m very taken by this song, and began to recall some memories of dancing to it, that is all. I’m sorry my attention was elsewhere, but please, continue the conversation.”

You smile, hoping it comes across as reassuring, and you must succeed in plastered said emotion on your face, because the couple across from you immediately smiles in understanding, the conversation turning towards the atmosphere of the ball rather than whatever the 3 had been discussing before.

This time, you attempt to keep your eyes straight and your ears focused on what is being said, but it’s still hard. Should you run? If Namjoon is here maybe you’ve got a fighting chance with him. Jaehyuk is certainly overwhelming when you’re just by yourself, but maybe if Namjoon were here he would be able to snatch you away, and you could both be out of here before Jeon or Jaehyuk had the chance to do anything.

Or…or maybe Jungkook (your heart aches at the thought of him, since you have to consider the possibility that he was never your friend, even though you’d come to care for him so deeply) would be surprised to see you and come to intercept you and Jaehyuk. The entire ballroom is so large…if only you could get away and run for the exit, then maybe—

“Hey,” Jaehyuk growls, his tight grip switching to your wrist as he begins pulling you away from where you’d been standing. You break out of your thoughts, looking up to find him staring back at you with a highly displeased glare, and you can only guess that wherever he’s dragging you right now will be a place where no one will be able to hear his angry, berating words.

The thought of fighting him off and trying to run once again enters your mind, but—

At that moment a shoulder roughly bumps into you—hard enough to cause Jaehyuk to lose his grip on you, and for your ass to hit the ground. You’re already thinking about how your chest and ass are going to be sore for the next few days from the blow when a hand descends in front of your face.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” a voice rings out, and you’d call it unfamiliar, but it’s…not. “Are you ok? I didn’t even see you.”

You turn your eyes upward, opening your mouth to assure the person that you are, but when you see the person’s face no words come out. Dark eyes, an unblemished rounded face, and freshly dyed brown hair—but despite the change in color there is no mistaking this man.

Min Yoongi.

His face expresses sincere surprise, his hand still offered to you as he kneels down, meeting your shocked stare head on. Yet, there’s something in his eyes, this seriousness that causes your previously racing mind to pause. A sliver of your rationality comes back, and you realize that if Yoongi is here, something must be going on.

Your eyes quickly scan his body, noting that he’s not dressed like a guest. In fact, he looks like one of the waiters you’d seen wandering around—and your educated guess is also confirmed by the fact there’s a silver serving plate stashed under his other arm.

If Yoongi is posing as a waiter, then—

You meet his stare again, and his gaze hardens. You see Jaehyuk’s shadow loom over Yoongi, and your throat tightens, but Yoongi nods his head ever so slightly, inclining his outstretched hand towards you again, and you breathe deep.

Trust me.

And you do, reaching your hand forward and placing it in Yoongi’s. His face changes back to a look of worry as he stands and reclaims his role as a waiter, asking again if you’re uninjured. However, as he does so, helping you back to your feet, he squeezes your hand so hard in his grasp that it feels like your bones might break, and you hiss in pain.

What the--?! Wasn’t he supposed to be helping you?!

“Crap, did you hurt your hand?” he asks, fake concern lacing his voice, and he squeezes your hand once more before loosening his grip. You get the idea.

“I—I must have,” you say, pretending to be hurt, as Yoongi begins to gingerly look your hand over. You note he doesn’t completely let go of you, not even when Jaehyuk steps up, face red with annoyance, and tries to tug you away.

“Why the hell weren’t you watching where you were going?” he accuses Yoongi, his hand wrapping around your waist, and you see Yoongi clench his jaw slightly before relaxing and figuring out what lie to say next.

“I’m sorry, sir, it was my mistake. But it seems like her hand is hurt,” Yoongi says, and Jaehyuk’s eyes flit down to where Yoongi is still steadily holding your hand, keeping it level, as if something had been broken.

“We have a medical room on this floor if you’d like to—”

Jaehyuk’s eyes narrow before Yoongi can say anymore. “She’ll be fine, I’m sure,” he says, tone clipped, and his eyes rake Yoongi up and down, suspicion clearly painted on his face. Luckily, it seems Jaehyuk doesn’t know who Yoongi is, because he takes no drastic measures—simply tightens his grip on you and prepares to walk away.

“Sir, it really wouldn’t be a problem. I’m sure we could find a doctor nearby as well if you don’t trust our medical staff—”

“Like I said,” Jaehyuk nearly hisses, tugging you away from Yoongi and causing him to lose his grip on your hand, “I’m sure she’s fine—!”

Your eyes widen as Jaehyuk begins to drag you away, Yoongi temporarily dropping his façade as his face morphs into a scowl, his feet moving on their own as he takes a step forward to pursue the both of you. There’s no way he can let you get away--! But…suddenly he stops, eyes shifting over your shoulder, and you see some of the desperation wash out of his gaze.

“I heard someone say that you may be in need of a doctor—is there anything I can do to help?”

God, this is not a voice you had expected to hear, but you’d recognize this friendly, professional tone anywhere. And, sure enough, when you turn along with Jaehyuk to find who had spoken, you end up face to face with none other than Kim Seokjin. His smile is tinged with a little more stress than you’re used to seeing, but this is, indeed, Jin.

“Like I said, she’s fine,” Jaehyuk repeats himself, his fingers curling into your already bruised waist, and you can tell that he’s getting desperate. It’s no longer just Yoongi that he needs to get away from. Jin and Yoongi have him caught on both sides. It’s 2 on 1, and suddenly things are starting to turn in your favor.

“Sir, I assure you I have the credentials to be treating her. Here,” Jin speaks up, still smiling friendlily. He doesn’t seem to be put off by Jaehyuk’s obviously nervous outbursts, even though to any regular person you’re sure it would be transparent that something somewhat out of the ordinary was occurring right now.

Begrudgingly, and somewhat curious, Jaehyuk reaches out and takes the business card Jin produces without ever letting you out of his grasp. As his eyes turn down to read the writing on the face of the card, your eyes flick up to Jin’s. His eyes crease, smile becoming more genuine, and you almost feel like crying.

For the first time in many days you are finally beginning to feel that you’ll be able to get out of here—with everyone—and achieve your happy ending.

“Kim Seokjin, huh?” Jaehyuk speaks up, and you hear the interest in his tone. Clearly he suspects Jin far less than Yoongi. “What’s a young, handsome doctor like you doing here, of all places?”

“Oh, you know,” Jin laughs, playing it cool. “Looking to make a few…ties. See if anyone would like to bargain with my services, to help me get what I want.”

You know for a fact that Jin is lying, but clearly Jaehyuk doesn’t, because his eyes light up like its Christmas. Clearly he’s enthralled at the idea of having a doctor on his side. What mafia boss wouldn’t be?

“I may be able to help with that,” Jaehyuk chuckles, and reaches out his free hand. “Jaehyuk.”

Smiling wider, Jin reaches his hand out as well, and as soon as the two make contact Jaehyuk curses, rearing back. The grip on your waist disappears, and you take a step away, immediately running into Yoongi who is already at your side.

“What…?” Jaehyuk mumbles, turning his hand palm side up. He’s bleeding, but only slightly. And the wound…it almost looks the size of a needle.

Rage filling his eyes, Jaehyuk turns his eyes up to Jin. “You--!” He notes that you’ve backed into Yoongi, being held by him protectively, and his face darkens. “What did you--!”

At that moment, just as Jaehyuk’s voice begin to crescendo, his anger reaching new heights in the middle of his panicking, he stops. He sways on his feet, and you watch as his eyes roll into the back of his skull. Someone nearby gasps, but Jin is at Jaehyuk’s side before he can hit the floor.

“It’s ok, I’m a doctor!” He assures as other patrons of the ball gather around the scene. Clearly no one had been focused on their previous interactions, because no one suspects that Jin is the one who has caused this. Instead, they praise him for being so quick acting in such a situation, and Jin begins to conduct a fake evaluation on Jaehyuk.

At that moment, Yoongi moves his grip to your wrist and begins to hurriedly tug you away. Jin looks up when he sees the movement, and he flashes you one last sympathetic smile, one that reads ‘it will be ok, Y/N—breathe’ before you lose his face in the crowd.

High above the dance floor, watching from the large window of his private room, Jeon narrows his eyes. Stood beside him, Taehyung’s eyes sort through the crowd on the floor below. He hadn’t been paying much attention before now, but both he and Jeon had heard the murmurs, and had walked over to see what was going on.

“What’s happening?” a third voice suddenly questions, and Jeon Jungkook steps up on the other side of his father, eyes worriedly scanning the floor below.

“Not sure,” Taehyung comments, but he has begun to piece everything together. Even though most of the patrons below look like ants, he can still spot that in the center of the commotion there is a man lying on the floor, and that that someone looks eerily like their good old pal Jaehyuk.

Which means…

Taehyung begins to search the surrounding crowd, and it’s not hard to spot the two bodies weaving their way away from the scene.

“I’m going to go make sure everything is alright--!” Jungkook speaks up, turning to make for the door, but his father stops him.

“No, you will go nowhere,” he commands, voice like ice, and the CEO’s eyes shift over to Taehyung. It seems Jeon has noticed the cause of the disturbance as well.

“I think Cinderella may be trying to leave the ball early,” Taehyung comments quietly, his lips stretching into an amused grin, and Jeon grunts. His eyes slide shut, arms folding behind his back, and he turns away from Taehyung.

“Shame. Taehyung, go,” he speaks, and Taehyung doesn’t need to hear more than that.

Grin widening, Taehyung turns and makes for the door, pulling his gun from beneath his belt. He brushes past Jungkook and winks, not noticing the fear and worry that is apparent on the younger’s face.

“Be right back. Gotta kill some nosey mice and make sure our princess doesn’t get away.”

[Pt 16] | [Pt 18]

#oh baby #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #bts fic #bts mafia au #yoongi fic #jungkook fic #jimin fic #yoonmin fic #well there's a little #idk how to tag #jin fic #hoseok fic #taehyung fic #namjoon fic #ok that's good #fic

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slamsams-blog · 4 years

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Quantum of Solace - #24WeeksofBond

And we are back with another Daniel Craig installment of the James Bond franchise for this week’s Bond movie, “Quantum Of Solace”. Don’t ask me about the name of the film because I don’t really get it. I know that the organization’s name is Quantum, but that’s as far as my understanding goes. Is it in reference to Camille’s story of her family being pillaged and burned and how she comes to deal with it? Who knows, but confusion is kinda the theme here with this movie...it’s just a little confusing. For those of you who watched this for the first time and completely understood it, then I applaud you. I’ve seen this movie countless times and still can’t figure it out. I’d be willing to bet that I’ve watched Quantum more than any other Bond movie because, for a while, it was just always on TV. Seriously, everyday I would see this movie playing somewhere.

This is a direct sequel to Casino Royale, the 2006 film where EON productions and producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson decided to hit the reset button on the franchise to freshen it up and give the Bond movies a little more grit, thrill, and depth. This was just odd seeing as all the previous Bond movies were stand alone installments that you could just pick up and not really have to wonder what the hell was going on. But now we are forever stuck with a Bond movie that is so reliant on the story of Casino Royale that one cannot simply pick this up and enjoy it. The Bond fan and traditionalist in me dies a little when I watch this movie for that reason.

This film, even when knowing the story of Casino Royale, is difficult to follow. There are so many different avenues this film takes with little to no explanation. It gets to a point where you are hearing new bits of information about the plot in the final scenes of the movie. I’m not going to lie - I’m still not too sure I have all the answers but I will do my best.

Basically, this is the story of a pissed off Bond who is carrying the weight of Vesper’s death with him. (Vesper is his love interest in Casino Royale - sorry for the spoiler if you haven’t seen it.). At this point we are still building up to the James Bond that we know and love...the James Bond we will eventually get come “Spectre”. Bond had just gotten to double 0 status, so he is not exactly seasoned - quite the opposite, actually. Bond is so blinded by revenge on the man who betrayed and played Vesper into what she does in Casino Royale that he ends up killing every lead he comes across. Bond is sloppy, and M is losing trust in him.

Lol, look at that GIF above...I’m noticing that guy in the background isn’t sweeping the floor...hahaha.

This movie opens up with a pre-title sequence of a high speed car chase for a reason unbeknownst to us. This car chase, like all the other action scenes in this film, is so choppy and hard to watch without it giving you a headache. The shots are so fast and cut to hell that they are hard to follow and difficult to understand what is happening. Bond gets away and opens up the trunk where Mr. White is lying. Mr. White is the man at the end of Casino Royale who Bond delivers his famous “Bond, James Bond” line to.

Mr. White explains that his organization has people everywhere and that they are so hidden, MI6 doesn’t even know they exist. This is made more evident when one of M’s men, who’d worked for her for years, ends up trying to kill her. Now M really needs to know how this organization has slipped through their fingers. So Bond is out to find out and to avenge Vesper in the process. After Bond accidentally kills a lead, he does some improv that would earn him a spot on Second City’s main stage and runs into Camille who was supposed to be the target of a hit. I do enjoy that scene where Bond jokingly says “I think someone wants to kill you”, then subsequently flips that guys bike. Makes me chuckle.

Camille (Olga Kurylenko) plays a Bolivian secret service agent who has infiltrated the organization in question to satisfy a revenge mission of her own. She is out to kill General Medrano for murdering her family and burning her house down when she was just a little girl. Olga Kurylenko does fine in this film as far as dark, brooding, mysterious, and spiteful goes, but her performance is rather un-inspiring, and not on my most memorable “Bond Girl” list.

Dominic Green (Mathieu Amalric) turns out to be the man heading this secret band of fools, a band in which - to my understanding - does all the logistics work for a dirty politician to gain power for a price. Enter General Medrano who is a dictator at heart and is seeking to overthrow the current Bolivian government to make way for his tyrannical leadership. So now we have Bond on the heels of Greene to get to Vesper’s betrayer, and Camille on the heels of Green to get to Medrano.

One scene that I find enjoyable in this film is where Bond follows Greene to the opera where his secret organization is to discretely meet and chat over ear piece in the audience while the show is going. (I would’ve been hushing them the whole time). Bond has infiltrated and gotten ahold of an ear piece and interrupts the conversation letting them know they are comprised. I love it when Bond cleverly bests the bad guys.

Like Camille, Mathieu Amalric’s performance as Dominic Green doesn’t really do much for me. His end goal with Medrano’s partnership is to basically become the Comcast of his water supply. Monopolize and then charge whatever you want. Not exactly super villain material. This happens because he has tricked Medrano into giving him ownership of land that Medrano thinks he wants for the oil. It’s actually the water Greene is after. He has created a drought in Bolivia and now everyone will need to turn to him for their lives. Well, when I put it like THAT then I guess that could be somewhat super villain.

The plot doesn’t exactly scream “get off your couch and pick this movie up now”, and it has some really dark undertones of sexual violence. General Medrano is an all around creep and scum bag who rapes and kills, and we see that on full display at the end when a poor cocktail waitress almost falls victim to his “needs”. It’s rather uncomfortable.

We also have Fields (Gemma Arterton) who is basically there to give us the “Goldfinger” shoutout to Jill Masterson with her dead body lying on the bed covered in oil, black oil. (You’ll get that joke when we watch Goldfinger). We also have the return of Mathis who was Bond’s contact for Casino Royale who Bond mistakingly accused as being a traitor. Well he got an acquittal, and now finds himself helping Bond again after Bond’s cards and passport was frozen. Mathis eventually gets killed at the hands of one of his connections who ends up betraying him. Plenty of betrayal to go around.

In the end, Bond ends up sparing the life of Greene to find out more about Quantum - the name of the organization that we just find out about at the very end of the film. Bond leaves him in the middle of the desert. Then he spares the life of the man who betrayed Vesper - leaving M to be impressed with Bond’s newfound restraint. He’s slowly becoming James Bond!

Apart from some amusing scenes and a great Bond theme by Jack White and Alicia Keys, Quantum Of Solace is Craig’s least inspired film. Only time will tell how “No Time To Die” ends up being, but I’ve noticed that the longer we have to wait for a Bond movie, the better the film is going to be....

After Licence To Kill we waited 6 years and got Goldeneye, after Die Another Day we waited 4 years and got Casino Royale, after Quantum we waited 4 years and got Skyfall...we’re on year 5 now, so you can imagine that No Time To Die has potential to be amazing! (Its slated to be the longest Bond movie in history.)

Too much confusion, open ended questions, and hard to follow action makes Quantum of Solace one of my least favorite Bond films. That isn’t to say that I can’t follow complexity, I love a good puzzle as much as the next guy...but this just feels like it is confusing on accident. It is worth noting that this film was in production during the infamous writers strike of 2007, not sure if that is to blame or not, but it is not well thought out or executed. And that, my friends, is all I got to say about that. What did you think?

Let your voices be heard! See you next week!

Reviews from Friends:

My Mom

I am relieved to hear that you "younguns" did not follow this film either. It is very frustrating to turn the volume up so high that the ensuing music blasts lifts the speakers off the wall, and you still don't understand what they are talking about. I agree that Dominic Green was not the most interesting villain. Just kind of creepy. I have never seen Casino Royale, so I guess I'll be in for a treat. Here is what I googled about the title: "It was the name of a short story in Ian Fleming's anthology For Your Eyes Only (1960). The film is related to the title in one of its thematic elements: "when the 'Quantum of Solace' drops to zero, humanity and consideration of one human for another is gone."

Tyler Dahlgren

Yep don’t like any part of this one. The only part I was liking was Mathis...and then they kill him.

Jake Benrud

I feel like I understood this movie and the plot progression, but it was still just kind of meh. If you didn't see Casino Royale, you would be really lost.

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