#i literally snorted
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Uhhhh... did my bestie Al B just enter the chat???? Is Goncharov canon in Zorlok??????
In reference to this post.
Lol, yeah, Al B is always lurking in the chat.
But also, what are you talking about? Goncharov is canon in every universe. It is the one connecting thread across all timelines and dimensions. So... yes, I guess. Goncharov is also canon in Zorlok.
#lol#i literally snorted#good eyes anon#thanks for sending this in!#asks#creating goncharov#goncharov#al b#you thought we were done with this#you thought
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🚨PSA🚨 arthur darvill slapped his own arse during the farmer and the cowman at the oklahoma matinee today
#it was when aunt eller goes id like to say a word for the cowboy and curly goes oh you would!!#i literally snorted#oklahoma west end#oklahoma!
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listen now :')
#literally choked ugly thinking about it so i had to make it#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#qui gon jinn#padme amidala#anakin#padme#star wars incorrect quotes#starwarsedit#swedit#buns.edits#buns.all#Star wars#he way this picture also actually looks like they're searching for their car in the parking lot made me double snort#the only one who wanted this was qui gon and even he had his doubts at some point#oh anakin you adorable menace#obi wan#qui gon
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class of 09 made me worse …
#class of 09#class of 09 art#it’s seriously so funny#love it when ur mom dies cause ur best friend SNORTED HER MEDS#i love emily she’s literally me.#sh warning
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genuinely so many of you want to be leftist and "punk" and countercultural soooooo bad but you refuse to become comfortable with the concept of people taking drugs for fun because they like it and not because they were somehow tricked or forced into it without knowing what they were getting themselves into
you'll be like "addiction is a disease!!" but think you're better than those degenerate stoners because you only drink energy drinks and white claws and would never touch "illegal drugs"
many if not most drugs CAN be consumed completely safely with almost 0 risk to the user and even if that werent true and all drugs were extremely dangerous you still wouldn't be better than those of us who love doing drugs recreationally
lighten up and grow up. get offline, talk to real adults, and stop being shocked to discover that they enjoy doing stuff that adults do like have sex and do drugs and even listen to rock and roll
#put punk in parantheses bc yall are hardcore straight edge at best lmao#goes to a punk show in someones basement and gasps when i see people snorting coke off each other in the corner#anyway heres your regular reminder from your friendly neighborhood drug addict that drugs can be and often are consumed safely#LSD‚ MDMA‚ psilocybin‚ cannabis of course‚ ketamine‚ coke‚ whippets. these are all drugs that i personally have used#and that are completely safe when used correctly and by someone who doesn't have some sort of allergy#even if someone is on a dangerous drug like meth or heroin you are not better than them#in fact theyre probably a lot chiller than your ass if youre still viewing drugs as a thing for 'degenerates' to do#literally can not hang out with non druggies anymore bc they cannot stop themselves from moralizing it#i mention that my vape has thc in it and i get That Look and a bunch of 'i would never smoke weed. i mean its fine. i just would NEVER'#i get it! you view drugs as a thing thats only for poor people or people who dont care about themselves or whatever#i call that the go ask alice effect. people will think you smoked weed then immediately had sex got pregnant and died of a heroin overdose#even when they think theyre being super progressive
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Kokichi, similar to Noritoshi in the sense that they're analytical and kinda tsun, but that's mostly it. This is another Megumi and Noritoshi situation where, on the surface, they appear to be very similar, but you squint and realize they're extremely different.
Whereas Noritoshi isn't as bold because he still holds remnants of pride, Kokichi is just shy about it since it's so new. He won't back down from it, just hesitate.
[Long ass rambles under the cut! + bonus doodles.]
When referring to shyness, Kokichi leans into the awkward and stiff type. There's always confusion and slight fear in his eyes when he's experiencing something new or romantic. He doesn't want to mess up, but if he does, he just hopes it works in his favor.
Being born in a body where he was under constant pain and stress, someone touching him was the last thing he wanted. He'd never known the loving touch of another because the heavens decided he wasn't allowed to.
After meeting you, that yearning to be next to you became too much. To hell with his restrictions. He'd to do whatever it takes to be able to be with you even if he had to sacrifice others to do it.
In retrospect, he feels like he should've done it sooner. Being touched or even grazed doesn't feel like his skin is falling off anymore.. Plus having both arms and working legs is always a good thing. It's new and odd, but not terrible. His mind never once wandered back and regretted those he's thrown under the bus because why would it?
Unfortunately, when his body was being healed, Mahito made him healthy.. and that's all. Knowing Mahito, he'd leave Kokichi to struggle with catching up to the rest of his peers by working for his own stamina, weight, and strength from square one. Though Kokichi isn't complaining much about it. He'd still take this rather than being stuck in that god forsaken tub for a second longer.
He used to hate being fussed over because of his illness. He prefers to do things on his own and now he can. Yet, Kokichi still gets pitiful looks on other's faces when he's too weak to carry something. It makes him want to spit at them, he can use Mechamaru to do his heavy lifting for now. He doesn't need a beefed up body to do it.
Unless you're the "beefed up" one fussing over him.. He doesn't mind it when it's you. In fact, Kokichi feels grateful when it's you, endeared even. He never feels belittled or pitiful when its you.. Only you.
Judging by how he treated panda for having the ability to interact with others in person despite being a cursed corpse, Kokichi has a number of insults and creative verbal abuse he's ready to spew out once someone tries getting a little too close to you. Scratch that, he's rude in general to those he isn't familiar with.
Kokichi has a lot of anger for those he deems ungrateful. What do you expect from someone who thought he was gonna rot in a bathtub for the rest of his life to do? Not harbor resentment? Luckily, he holds just as much, if not more, love for you who he's unbelievably grateful for!
Your affection is so odd to him, a new experience that he never knew he could grow to yearn for. It's not terrible, quite the opposite. It's so wonderful he can't get enough. Every time you're around, he wants to have at least one hand on you at all times. Doesn't matter where, just as long as he feels you're around. Safe to say, he's extremely touch starved.
Oh how Kokichi would drop everything for a walk with you. He'd use every Mechamaru he had just to make sure no one disturbs either of you. Murder is just a side effect if they get too persistent. He just wants to spend time with you!
Though he likes walks, he still gets out of breath easily. Walking is nice, but he still needs time to get used to it. Offering to help will only cause him to lean against you, it's not too difficult, he doesn't weigh much for better or worse. He loves when you lend him a hand, it's just another reason to get close to you.
When you part, it's only natural that Kokichi gifts you a little trinket he made. Rejecting it will only reward you with the most devastated frown, so just accept it. If you get rid of it when coming home, it somehow always finds its way back to you? Destroying it will lead to Kokichi giving you another one.
Yes, it follows and watches you, but it's just to keep you safe! Who knows what could happen. Whether or not the little trinkets are subtle, all depends on how you reacted to him asking if it was alright to know your location at all times when he's not around. Kokichi is understanding if you're not okay with it. He'll just make his gifts extra subtle so you wont know he's watching.
He just wants to be by your side constantly, even if he's not able to be there in person. Watching you through a screen gives him a sickly familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach, but it's better than not knowing what you're doing. He can even pick up little things about you this way for when he sees you next time! This is nothing but a win-win in his mind even if others beg to differ.
Kokichi never felt blessed. Not once since the day he was born, not until he found you. You who he feels is truly a gift from the heavens. You who he would give up everything to have. In a way, Kokichi is delusional. He sees you as the reason he got a heavenly restriction. It was as if other worldly forces tried to keep him at bay from pursuing you, but you're also the reason he broke his restrictions. He now has the body he wished for thanks to you, his drive, his motivation, his purpose, his love.
[extra shit]
Kokichi’s so fucking low key about being a chuunibyou. you're telling me he named his mech after an anime he watched. half his attacks have ultimate or ultra in the name.. HE MADE A FUCKING MECH. Your ass can't tell me he didn't watch anime while growing up and got inspired to make it a reality. He probably watched Evangelion or something.. Woah, anime dates with him where he makes your favorite creature and uses it to his advantage.. woah.
[Bonus Kokichi verbal abuse]
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#kokichi muta#muta kokichi#kokichi muta x reader#muta kokichi x reader#mechamaru#mechamaru x reader#jjk x reader#welcome mob kun to the cult.. im so sorry that you have to be our sacrificial lamb to these psycho's bullying#tl;dr kokichi is a little shy bc everythin is new but hes still open to everythin. hes just an obsessive freak for you ykyk#i love kokichi.......... dont you love him?? hes so good bro#can you see how hard im snorting copium to make up my au where hes alive#i had to put some yan into him BUT LISTEN TO ME IM NOT EVEN TRYING TO MAKE HIM A FREAK BRO#HES LITERALLY JUST LIKE THAT AND ITS SUCH A SHAME ITS NOT USED MORE#“there was someone who i loved. and i didnt care what happened to the world as long as i could be by her side and protect her”#“even if that girl didnt want me to be the one to protect her.”#HE WAS DOWN TO SACRIFICE THE WORLD?? MF HUH?? YOU WERE GONNA BETRAY EVERYONE BC YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD FIGHT. WIN. AND FIX IT??#AND YOU WOULD FR STILL BE THERE EVEN IF THE ONE YOU LOVED DIDNT LIKE YOU BACK???#DUDE?????#WHAT THE FCUK KOKICHI WHAT THE FUCKKKKK#ong idk if theres a handful of kokichi enjoyers out there or its one person asking for him specifically but i see you...#i'll feed you my starving cult member.....#THIS IS THE ONE I POSTED ON ACCIDENT SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY AND MISHAP ANON. I LOVE YOU.#shout out to salsamander who caught me slacking#im not sorry for the LowTierGod reference
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i may sincerely dislike some headcanons/ships and post about that sometimes but if i catch any of you MAKING FUN of people who have those headcanons/ships for no reason other than that you disagree, its ON SIGHT. suddenly i will be the number one advocate of that headcanon/ship no matter how much i might hate it myself.
its way too normalized to just be a straight up asshole online, why can we not just be normal??? please be normal about things that are totally harmless.
"i dont like or understand it" yeah me neither "people who post it are so annoying, youre ruining this fandom by erm um 🤓 saying things i disagree with haha there should be no other perspectives than mine" im outside ur window
i think we should all just hold hands
#🤓🤓 u *snort* idiots who *honk* dont like my ship which is obviously objectively the best because i like it r SO STUPID ☝️#people need to 🤓🤓 see this manga ☝️☝️ EXACTLY THE WAY I SEE IT 🤓 OR ELSE ☝️#idk i think maybe people just cant see the line between an opinionated statement and a straight up mean statement#get good#people on here r so defensive like theres literally no need to go to the ends of the earth because someone sees a gag manga a lil different#it is not that personal#so obsessed with taking the fun out of fandom IT IS NOT THAT SERIOUS#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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instigator jimin (unstoppable force) vs. oblivious seokjin (immovable object)
#literally snort laughed my way through this entire saga i love them all so much#this was so annoying to make ps kept crashing and i am putting off so mch work but i missed them too much#hyunglinenetwork#btsgoldnet#networkbangtan#houseofddaeng#kgfxnet#trackofthesoul#shariposts#namjin#namjinmin#ot7#run bts#not ot7#bts#1k#btsedit#btsgif#armysource#dailybts#dailybangtan
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Hiii, I love your writing! It's so great that you're back! Could you write something like two actors are playing hero/villain in a movie or theater, but both of them sometimes just gets too in character/or just gets too stuck in character, so for like moments they actually forget that they are just acting?
“You didn’t think I’d let you die by anyone else’s hand but mine, did you?” The villain cocked their head to the side, grinning.
Distantly, the hero registered the whispering of stage commands, but tuned it out.
“You can’t just kill anyone who threatens me,” they argued back. They watched as the villain’s grin sharpened.
“Watch me,” the villain whispered, stepping closer. Fake blood was drying on the side of the hero’s head, and it itched more than usual. Must be a new brand from costuming.
“I could arrest you,” they offered, but they let the hesitation show on their face. Visible enough for the camera to catch their unwillingness, no matter how fake it was. Good enough nobody could tell the difference between real and not.
“You won’t.”
The hero tipped one head to the side
“And why’s that?”
The hero shifted, leaning in towards the villain.
“Because you’re mine,” the villain whispered, tone playful as their eyes seared into the hero’s.
The hero’s mouth went dry. It wasn’t on purpose.
Something kindled in their chest.
“Oh yeah?”
The villain shrugged one shoulder in perfect time to the script, and the hero pulled the next line to the tip of their tongue—
“Prove it.”
That was not the next line.
That wasn’t a line at all.
The villain blinked just once, the only sign of surprise they would allow, before their grin widened. Their shoulders loosened into something feral, something that delighted in this change.
Something that belonged off-stage.
“I’m covered in the blood of the people who hurt you,” the villain’s voice was smooth sliding down the hero’s spine. They shivered. “What more proof do you want, love.”
They blushed furiously at the nickname, even underneath the stage makeup, and at the pleased look on the villain’s face, it was visible.
What was the line what was the line what—
Their hands fisted into the front of the villain’s costume, dragging them closer. The villain let them, hand settling on the hero’s waist in a movement far too smooth.
“I don’t know,” the hero murmured, and they were just as surprised as the villain when their lips hovered just over the other’s ear. “Why don’t you stop trying to kill me, for starters.”
The villain tugged them closer, and the hero’s eyes went to their lips.
The villain looked at the hero like they wanted to devour them.
Fuck, what had been the line—
“Oh, but you’re so pretty covered in blood, Hero,” the villain crooned, and the hero opened their mouth to say something, their tongue a separate entity from their brain at this point—
“Hold!” Someone off-stage called, and they both froze. A second later, they were halfway across the stage from one another. Slipping out of being the hero and back into being themself felt like hitting a brick wall.
If the way the villain shuddered was any indication, they had forgotten they were playing a character too.
The hero turned away to face the tech crew, hand settling over their face to hide their blush.
The villain’s gaze was molten and heavy on their shoulders, even from as far away as they were.
“I don’t think that’s in the blocking,” the stage manager frowned, flipping through the script.
None of that was the blocking. No matter how much the stage manager searched those pages they would never find those lines.
Fuck.
“Improv,” the hero choked out, flushing. “It was, uh. A creative choice—“
From behind one of the curtains, they heard a crew member snort, muttering something about teenage actors and horniness—
The villain was smirking, a wicked thing.
“Right,” the stage manager said slowly, brow furrowed from where they sat. They murmured something into their headset, eyes shifting up between the villain and the hero, before they slid a screen in front of themself.
Just barely, the hero could make out the shape of the scene they had just filmed.
The screen went black, the room silent for a moment, before the stage manager let out a long suffering sigh.
“We’re changing the blocking.”
“What?” The hero yelped.
The villain settled their hands into their pockets, unbothered and grinning.
“We’re keeping the scene,” the stage manager nodded towards their tablet, and the hero almost passed out on the spot. They watched the stage manager eye the pleased and possessive look on the villain’s face. “For now, though, let’s call it a wrap for the day.”
Shuffling began, lights flickering off, and the hero escaped to their own dressing room, panting slightly.
Dear god, they were so fucked. They had forgotten they were acting, again—
“Improv, hm?” The villain grinned, lock sliding into place. The hero hadn’t even heard them come in.
The hero groaned. “I don’t know what happened—“
“Yeah,” the villain nodded, and they were closer than they had been a moment ago.
The hero swallowed.
“I’m sorry.”
The villain raised an eyebrow. “For what?”
The hero waved one hand between them. “For, you know—“
The villain was still smiling.
It was then they remember who had fought so hard in the writers’ room for the villain and the hero to end up together.
‘Enemies to lovers,’ the villain had said, eyes dark. ‘The fans will love it. There’s been sub plot for the last two seasons.’
The directors had pushed back, but now—
Oh. The villain wasn’t mad.
They were pleased.
The hero choked.
“You,” the hero tried.
“Me,” the villain agreed, and then they were kissing, all-consuming and desperate.
They made a noise in the back of their throat, the villain twining their hand into the hero’s hair.
“You forgot you were acting,” the villain murmured against their lips, and kissed them again before the hero could defend themself. “That I’m not really your villain and you aren’t my hero.”
The villain settled the hero onto the counter, coming to stand between their legs, one hand on their hip.
“Fuck,” they gasped, and they could feel the villain’s grin against their skin.
“Mhm.”
Somehow, the hero’s arms had ended up looped over the villain’s shoulders.
“Maybe stop killing people, and I’ll consider it,” they said between breaths.
“What?” The villain pulled back slightly.
“The line I forgot,” the hero said. They could drown in the villain’s eyes, they were sure of it. “Maybe stop killing people—“
“Don’t care,” the villain bit out, and then their mouth was on the hero’s again and nothing else mattered.
Maybe they weren’t truly hero and villain—but god were they good at pretending.
Three months later, the internet couldn’t decide what was better—that finally, after years, the hero and villain had ended up together on screen; or that off stage, their actors were desperately, hopelessly in love too.
#writing#writing community#creative writing#snippet#heroes and villains#angst#fic writing#ficlet#writing prompt#writblr#love#hero x villain#hero/villain#fluff#this is purely indulgence#I don’t know how it got to this but I like it#I love them your honor#theatre#young writer#actors#thank you for the ask 🩵#literally grinding this up and snorting it right now#I have the worst headache and yet I prevail
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#quinn hughes#qh43#everytime i see him he gets more beautiful#its literally witchcraft#hes snorting fairy dust or smth#no way hes this beautiful#my eyes must be deceiving me
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Chase: So I put the keys in this formation and then I uh...I...uhm, are you sure about this Dorkin?
Deacon: It's what the keys said you'd have to do and they probably know the ritual better than you
Chase: Yeah, but they've also been asleep everytime they went through it
Deacon: Come on Chase, we've come so far, you can't chicken out now!
Chase: I-...I'm not chickening out, it's just...are we 100% sure this is what I'm supposed to do?
Deacon: What other information do we have?
Chase: I...ok, I'll do it...for mom
Chase: Here goes nothing I guess
#cinderella boy#cinderella boy webtoon#chase hollow#Deacon#based off of a joke headcanon in the discord#don't do drugs kids#pretend the narratonin has been dried up and crushed into a powder#someone didn't pay attention during the anti-drug psa's#or maybe he paid a bit too much attention#imagining the senior members of ex libris snorting narratonin like it's crack is so fun#just like in the good old days#except there are no actual effects#question: would you snort crack- I mean uh narratonin for your mother?#Chase is never gonna make another wish after this again#his mom will be better but he might have to go to the doctors#how do you explain having unidentified green goop in your nostrils?#crack theory#literal crack theory#narratonin theory then?
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pov you are me. you live in ontario. you are enjoying a nice episode of the mentalist on your couch when the sound of knocking at the door interrupts your nice episode of the mentalist. hm. who could that be. this apartment building is fob controlled so we don't get door to door people generally. maybe a neighbour needs a cup of sugar? maybe there is an emergency of some sort? maybe my nice episode of the mentalist is up too high?
i get up to open the door. lady hands me a leaflet for some conservative mpp candidate. gentleman who appears to be the candidate says. "hello i'm the former mpp of this area, i'm running again. we think it's time for justin trudeau to go. can you consider voting conservative?"
me, fucking shocked, absolutely not expecting any of this, blurts out the first thing that pops into my head: "i'm. gay? so no?" [slams the door in their faces]
#gav gab#WHAT A WILD EXPERIENCE#I LITERALLY LIKE. SNORTED. SAID THAT. CLOSED THE DOOR WITHOUT WAITING FOR A RESPONSE#get outta here losers!!!!!!#doesn't matter that i'm american and can't vote in a canadian election anyway
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More drivers should tweet like 2017 Esteban did
#@osh-my-prince thank u for sending this to the discord I SNORTED laughing#also this is literally how Pierre used to write in his bitchy little karting blog. I see it#it being well#u know#este
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but how could u have mental health crisis when ur married? U have a husband
Yeah unfortunately due to financial reasons my husband and I couldn't get the magical marriage license that solved all of our problems.
I really hope you're joking but if not, this is an extremely problematic outlook, as it insinuates that anyone who's married can't struggle with their mental health and that's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard. Marriage doesn't solve your problems and make everything happy and carefree, and it can cause problems! In our marriage, both myself and my husband have had some serious low points, but we've got through them with each other's love and support. ANYONE can struggle with their mental health, regardless of age, gender, race, sexuality, relationship status, financial status etc. It doesn't discriminate. I challenge you to show me a married couple (or any couple tbh) that doesn't have problems or where both people are genuinely happy and don't have any mental health struggles. A couple that claims they're both perfectly happy and have never had any struggles are in denial.
#james answers things#mental health month#mental health#literally the way i snorted when I read this#i WISH my marriage had made my depression & anxiety disappear#but no that took years of therapy unfortunately
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Me, telling sis about the negative review I saw for Cocaine Bear: -and she was complaining that it was too bloody and violent, and that it was nothing but cocaine and the bear
Sis: Well it wasn't called Vegetarian Philosophy Bunny.
Me: EXACTLY. IT'S IN THE NAME.
Sis: Where the fuck did we lose you, Susan? 'Cocaine' or 'Bear'?
#cocaine bear#fuck i love cocaine bear#and the negative audience reviews of BUT IT WAS SO VIOLENT#like Susie we literally see the bear snort coke off a dismembered leg in the trailer#this movie is what it says on the tin
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just spent 4hrs w this dealer that i was only supposed to pick up from for like 2 sec 😭😭😭
#stream#i think we’re dating now#that’s my husband#i’ll be honest he’s so hot but i think he’s a top but he’s also a dealer & has lung cancer :/#like i can’t date another addict … i’ve TRIED KT BEFORE & IT DOESNT WORK#but he’s sooooo#he’s so#idk he has such a good energy like u can Feel It#he’s just been dealt the short end of the stick at literally every moment since birth#to be fair we were both on so much meth#i’m#still on meth i literally snorted before i lwft#like i walked to him it’s only 2mi then i was going to walk back but he was like ‘i can give u a ride i need to go to town anyway’ & he did#he’s sooo sweet#but also he grabbed my crotch when we were leaving so i’m ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#i was like ‘tease’#but he’s kinda short he’s only like 6’1-2#also i bought like .5g meth 1.5g blow & 1g ket#this is literally abt the dealer i was texting earlier
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