#i like this one because i think the theme clues are quite clever! and theme clues are really hard for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dreamlandcreations · 2 years

Text

Bride

Sherlock Holmes x Reader

Summary: A marriage of convenience. You never expected it to be anything else...

Warnings: marriage between strangers, slow burn, I packed a short series into a one shot, period typical misogynistic themes, height difference, near-death experience, inexperienced reader, loss of virginity, PiV, unprotected sex

Enemies to lovers masterlist of February

Frenemies to lovers (marvel) masterlist of February

Your marriage was the subject of talks all over the city for months now. They all wanted to know what made the famously reclusive Sherlock Holmes consider marrying a woman he only met, a woman everyone thought would end up with his brother.

The thought of being tied to the older Mr Holmes still makes you shiver with nausea. You could only imagine the expectations he would put on his wife and you wanted no part in that kind of marriage where you would have no freedom at all.

With Sherlock, you had no such problems. You two made a deal and he kept his end of the bargain, he got rid of any chance of future proposals, you just didn't realise at the time what you were asking from him.

"Mr Holmes." You greeted the man with proper courtesy who seemed to be sharing your desire to distance from the crowd as soon as possible.

"Baroness." He returned your polite manner but his eyes wandered over your form, categorizing every detail about you before his gaze met yours and you felt like he was trying to look deep into your soul to find out every secret you ever hid.

Your ward and the older Mr Holmes departed to discuss politics and you knew where that friendly conversation would lead to. So to take your mind off the nearing dread you strike up a conversation with the infamous detective.

"Tell me, what are you working on that would bring you here?"

"What makes you think I'm not here for the company?" He turns to you from his people watching with an eyebrow raise so teasing you immediately decide to dislike him for being ridiculously attractive and in the position to do whatever he wanted even if it was an almost rude expression on his lovely face.

"Something tells me you don't get involved with people unless they are clues to your case." You let yourself be a little improper as you follow his gaze to his best suspect. "He doesn't know anything about what you're looking for."

That earns another eyebrow raise, his attention completely directed on you now as you turn to each other. "I do, only I do. And I am more than willing to share. For a price."

"It is my job to find out what people are hiding." He tilts his head up arrogantly and you take offence in that condescending tone more than you can show.

"You are running out of time. They will disappear before the end of the week." Words carefully selected to reveal as little as possible while proving your point.

"How would you know that?"

"You would be surprised how much I see and hear when men tend to ignore my presence. I find it especially maddening when they are talking about me like I'm not even in the room." Subtly motioning to Mycroft and your uncle as they regard you like one would a horse that is about to be sold. You have no doubt the clever man beside you understands the implications of what's happening because he looks at you with patronizing pity which you answer with a frown that tells him his reaction makes you almost as angry as the entire situation.

"You know, I have met your mother once." You continue the conversation, keeping your eyes ahead on the men discussing your future. "She gave me the best advice I ever received in my entire life. You see, I was a rebellious child resisting any kind of 'education' that would lead me caged in a life men like them meant for me. Eudoria Holmes presented an alternative of running away before they could send me to a finishing school." You know that's a sensitive subject, given his sister's history and you are not afraid to use that against him. "I've been perfecting this act of a proper lady for quite some time, Mr Holmes. I can assure you, you will see nothing I don't want you to see."

Turning back to him at the end of your little monologue, you lock eyes in a defiant duel that he gives up entirely too easy.

"Alright, my Lady. Tell me what it is you want for your cooperation." He bends for you a little, showing his surrounder for the time being.

"With my brother's passing, I have no one left, my uncle doesn't care about me and he will agree to your brother's proposal without much thought." You hesitate to continue because even the thought makes you sick but he seems to understand the price you demand.

"How do you suppose I prevent the proposal? And even if I manage to do that, you will still face the same problem with someone else." He tries to get out of the bargain but you know how to make this game irresistible for him, after all, he is just a man and men's ego prompt them to do foolish things.

"You are a man with an exceptional mind, I'm confident you can figure out a solution to get me rid of the trouble of any chance for such proposals." What you didn't expect is a counterattack on a woman's supposed weakness, feelings.

"You are being emotional and reckless. I might even go as far that you are acting suspicious enough to be a suspect." He lowers his voice at the end and you can feel him study you again with much more intensity, bending in your direction without noticing as he practically hissing you by the end.

"I had no reason to be involved in that crime but perhaps I'm allowed to be angry and unreasonable when people, who neither know nor care anything concerning me or what I want are about to decide my entire life for me. If you don't help me, I'm afraid you will have to investigate an entirely different case I'll be definitely involved in."

His eyes narrow at your equally tense answer, wondering if you meant you would disappear or if you'd commit a much more serious crime. He decides that the latter is not an option, you seem like a scared gazelle, ready to sprint before you are thrown at the mercy of a lion.

The irritation leaves Sherlock's features as he subtly nods at you and makes his way to ask your uncle for a private conversation. They look in your direction a few times and Sherlock sees the way you are biting your lips and your tearful eyes move between them and the exit, so he asks your uncle to wait with the announcement until he rejoins you.

At the moment he steps in front of you, your uncle clinks his glass, asking for attention until the entire room quiets down.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to share the joyous news concerning my beautiful niece. As of now, the Baroness is engaged to be married to Mr Holmes. Please, celebrate with us. Mr Holmes, would you mind presenting your bride with a dance?" You can see Mycroft stepping in your direction but he abruptly stops when Sherlock wordlessly asks for your hand and you place it in his with a visible tremble.

He guides you expertly and you might even enjoy it if it wasn't for your restless mind bothering you with worse and worse possibilities of how this will end up.

"You do not want a wife." With your heart drumming in your ear it's difficult to keep quiet but you manage to make it audible only for him.

"And you do not want a husband. I'd say it's the perfect deal we could hope for." His voice lacks any anger now, he actually sounds rather amused but you don't want to look at him to confirm that.

"If I help you now, you could withdraw your offer, leaving me not only humiliated but at even worse odds than before."

"I will keep my word. You can trust me." He proclaims as the song comes to an end and he brings your hand up to his lips, gaze capturing your as you gasp at the feeling of his touch.

With the information, you provided Sherlock solved that case rather quickly then he kept his end of the deal and married you a few weeks later. His brother attended the ceremony but they have not exchanged words until many months after that.

You lived a quiet life in Sherlock's apartment, most of the time he was away, working on something. When he was at home, his mind was still otherwise occupied so you barely met the first few weeks.

It took a heavy snowfall that forced you two to stay inside for days to have your first real conversation since that very first night at the ball. He started to spend more and more time at home, taking fewer cases and you found his company surprisingly bearable.

It took another few months and a case that turned dangerous for your feelings to be revealed.

Sherlock took you to an event where he solved the crime brilliantly but the man had a gun aimed at you before your detective could finish telling the police what was going on.

Sherlock steps in front of you at the moment the trigger is pulled. The man is taken down by the officers in disguise at the same time you sink to the ground with Sherlock.

"Are you hurt?" He checks you frantically but all you could do is shake your head as you reach out to inspect his shoulder, where the bullet grazed him.

You can't find your voice until you return home and drag Sherlock to his armchair and ask him to remove his shirt so you could tend to the wound.

"Promise me this will not happen again!" You avoid his gaze as you feel your cheeks warm at the sight of the half-naked man before you. "I'm too young to be a widow."

"I'm fine." He says quietly, standing up to tower over you as he backs you to the nearby table and he gently guides cups your cheek, guiding you closer and holding you in place so you wouldn't be able to look away.

You are not sure who moves first, the next thing you know you are engaged in a desperate kiss with Sherlock. Parting your lips for him as your hands tangle into his sulky curls, you press closer to him which forces him to lean down even more. He bends and lifts you up without breaking the kiss, placing you on the table and stepping between your legs.

"Wait." At your breathless plea, he pulls away instantly like you burned him and the insecurity you see in his expression is not something you thought you would ever witness on the great Sherlock Holmes.

He looks at you with concern, searching your eyes for any resentment or doubt but he finds none. You can't help but give him a timid smile as you cup his cheek and take in the sight of this beautiful man who is your husband.

Unconsciously nuzzling into your touch he waits for you to speak. "I can't breathe."

He chuckles at your pout as you gesture to your corset with a downward look. Pressing a soft kiss to your lips, he rests his forehead on yours while his hands envelop your waist and slowly move to the ties that are keeping the offending article of clothes in place. Sherlock tugs at them experimentally then rips it off of you with an incredible display of strength that leaves you with all sorts of tingly feelings down below.

The frantic kissing is interrupted when he mumbles something like 'not here' and lifts you up again, carrying you to your bed while you giggle against his lips all the way there.

He is so gentle and attentive you don't even know how to handle this side of him, he makes sure you really want this and it's not just the rush of the events. The truth is, he is not sure he could survive if he'd see even a hint of regret on you the morning after, because the great Sherlock Holmes was hopelessly in love with his beautiful, smart and inspiringly free-spirited wife.

Sherlock makes love to you all night long, at first only worshipping your body and showing you pleasure before the pain of your first joining could taint the memory with pain.

He waits for you to adjust, holding you close and peppering soft kisses on your feverish skin wherever he could reach without moving his lower body. When he made sure you were ready he started to move slowly, he tried to restrict himself as much as possible until you pulled him into a kiss and asked him to let go. He was hesitant but your moans encouraged him to do as you've told.

You started to meet his thrusts and soon you felt the most wonderful feeling you've ever experienced, his movements prolonged your high and the way he pumped into you so desperately made you clench around him even tighter until you felt his cum fill you to the brim.

Gasping for air and laughing quietly, you held each other for long minutes before you felt him harden in you again and your laugh turned into moans again as he continued to pleasure you.

Living your honeymoon phase, you became quite addicted to each other, spending most of the days talking and getting to know each other better and the nights with discovering your attraction.

You were afraid for him when he left for a case but he assured you he will be more careful as he has a reason to come home to now.

During one of his less dangerous cases, you take the time to find Enola and try to convince her to move in with you. She refuses to give up her independence but she agrees to visit, as she puts it 'to get to know the woman who tamed Sherlock Holmes' and of course, to visit his brilliant brother.

Sherlock is grateful for your efforts and this starts to feel like a real family for both of you. Mycroft eventually makes peace with all of you, including Enola.

Sometimes you can't help but wonder about the what-ifs and once, lying in bed, with your husband caressing your naked body display over his, you ask Sherlock to tell you how he managed to convince your uncle so easily to agree to this marriage.

"I told him I've fallen irrevocably in love with you." He says with an almost sad smile.

"So you lied to him. But why would he..." You start to question him about how he actually convinced your ward to believe him but he quickly interrupts you.

"No."

"What?" Your frown deepens as you look up at him with wide eyes.

"I told him the truth. That I could see who you really are after just spending a few minutes with you and I have never met a more remarkable woman in my entire life."

He continues while you stare at him speechlessly, tears gathering in your still wide eyes. "I told him I could make you happier than any man and if he cares about you at all he should agree."

After a moment of silence, his light smile turns to a mischievous smirk and he goes on with the story. "Then, of course, I had to remind him that I'm just as good a party as my brother would be and list all the benefits of why I'm the better choice."

At the end, he starts to laugh and you smile with him but also playfully hit his chest to stop him.

When the laughter dies down you place a hesitant kiss on his lips and when you pull away you confess to him you can't point out when you'd fallen for him but you know that you love him now and would love him just as much if not more for the rest of your lives.

#sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes x reader #sherlock holmes x you #enola holmes #🔥#⚡#🧸#my stuff #my fics

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alfredosauce50 · 3 years

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What makes me human [Cyberpunk! America x reader] 11

Wordcount: 5,150 Rating: M for strong language, ideologically sensitive and mature themes, gore “In a society that normalizes cybernetic enhancements, many forget what it is to be human. He never did.” Chapter synopsis: Allen and Arthur race to find you both, but it proves to be harder without knowing your whereabouts. Meanwhile, you've successfully helped Alfred find the chip. Before leaving, you have a long-awaited conversation with your father to realize he's more insane than you thought. The reader is referred to as she/her.

Songs to listen to while you read (in order as found in playlist): Cyberninja, Trouble finds trouble, Tower Lockdown, Me!Me!Me!, Pt. 2, Him & I (with Halsey), Atlantis. I have indented song titles throughout the chapter so you can change accordingly. Starting now:

Cyberninja

Before Arthur could even buckle himself in, Allen rammed his foot into the gas pedal. He was thrown back in a violent manner, and hit his head against the headrest. But the mechanic never complained. He looked stressed enough as is, continually scanning the road while murmuring to himself as if he’d really gone mad. “Hell, that motherfucker could be anywhere in the whole fucking city right now.” He hissed, pulling out of the driveway and into the main road.

“We can’t call him. Track him. Nothing. Same goes for (F/N). They’re off the map.” Turning to his companion numerous times in distress, he sped through the streets, though he had no particular destination in mind.

The indicator clicked. Allen cursed at the car in front of them, but never made a move to overtake. As Arthur became overwhelmed by these stimulants, he opened his mouth, defeated. “If you’re in such a hurry, why--why bother following traffic rules? You never have before, so why now?” He asked with a shake of the head, earning a loud scoff from the other.

The car windows glowed with a flurry of pinks and purples as they moved closer to the commercial district. They were near their first stop.

“Trust me, I wouldn’t give a damn if I didn’t have to.” The whites of his eyes reflected a mosaic of color as he never looked away from the road. “But that was when I was working for my boss. I had protection. I could do a hit and run if I wanted, and without the running part.” The redhead breathed. Then, he stuck his head out of the window with a huff. Immediately, he was choked by the city smog, and deafened by the blaring of car horns.

“Friggen’ prick...” He flipped off the driver in front of him. Sitting back into his seat, he flashed Arthur a grin, though the man couldn’t return the energy.

“Did you get fired? Or did you quit?” This wasn’t the best time to ask about the past, but he had been dying to know why he wound up half-dead on his doorstep. So what better a time to do it than now?

“I quit.” Allen answered point-blank. “Old man didn’t take it well. Decided to kill me. Didn’t.” Slowing the vehicle, they arrived at a parking-lot surrounded by backdoors of multiple piss-poor establishments. One of which was illuminated by a flickering red neon sign that read ‘no-tell motel’.

“He thinks I’m dead, so the rest of the city has to think that too.”

Arthur gawked at him. “That makes you no better than a fugitive! And it’s not just anybody after you--Allen, he’ll kill you when he finds out you’re still alive!”

“And that’s why he won’t find out.” Tapping the side of his neck for a flap to open, the said man slotted a small disk inside. “Disables cybernetic upgrades in a twenty foot radius. Means I can’t use mine, but it stops other people from figuring out who I am.” He dug through one of the compartments for a muffler, which he wrapped around the bottom half of his face.

What he did next was alarming, however. Sticking his hand further in, he pulled out a gun and cocked it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell are you doing--!?” Arthur exclaimed, fumbling with a face mask Allen tossed his way. He didn’t see a silencer anywhere either. “If I can call the police without any upgrades, so can everyone else!”

His statement couldn’t ring any truer, and yet, it never slowed down the other’s movements as he climbed out of the car. Unsatisfied by his silence, he wound up getting out to follow him. “Oi, say something! At least let me know you’re not gonna shoot up a restaurant!” Whispering that part out, he had to speed up a few steps to catch up with the man, now marching to the backdoor of a motel.

“Put the mask on.” Allen murmured without sparing him a single glance. But he paused briefly to process what he said. “... A motel, you mean. But I’m hoping we won’t have to resort to that.”

Arthur’s eyes went round. “You were considering--”

He could share the desperation to save Alfred’s life, but he had a hard time following how. Shooting up a motel? What was he thinking?

“Yes.” Attaching his hand to the door, it creaked open. Before Allen took another step, he faced him with a serious glower. “Now when we get inside, I want you to walk up to the receptionist. He’s programmed to greet you. Ask him for a room, and while you do, I’ll approach him from behind and deactivate him. Kapeesh?”

But then again, he was in the dark here. Arthur hadn’t the slightest clue on what Alfred’s circumstances were, as mysterious as the man was, so he had no idea how he was on the verge of dying.

So naturally, he wouldn’t know how to save him either.

But he trusted Allen to know what to do.

“... Alright. You better not make me regret this, you tyke.”

“You can call me anything you want, just not that. I’m not a kid anymore.” Those words would become apparent as they walked inside, where their plan went by without a hitch. They heard the automated voice of superficial kindness, which stopped abruptly to the sound of an android powering off. Its body fell to the ground to reveal Allen standing behind. Without wasting a second, he leaned over and typed furiously on the keyboard of the computer.

Trouble finds trouble

“Lemme see if this has a log of everybody who came by...” A few moments later, he started nodding at what he saw. “Bingo...” On their private encrypted server, stored the history of all the guests who booked a night. “Well, what do you know... Alfred checked out two days ago. But he’s on the move.” Pulling away to stand up straight, he jogged over to the exit.

“Even if someone tried to look for him in one a’ these places, he’d have to get behind the reception and do exactly what I did.” This someone referred to Matsumoto, but death already followed Alfred wherever he went. Not that Alfred knew that. “The perks of a no-tell motel. Even if they reek of piss, so long as there’s crime, they’ll never go out of business.” He beckoned Arthur to follow him with a tilt of the head.

“One down, twenty-seven more to go. And that’s only in the direction he’s going... And under the assumption he’s only staying at these motels. So, uh, let’s hope he didn’t try to be too unpredictable.”

The Brit huffed. This wasn’t going to be easy.

“I think he’d be predictable to do that if you asked me.” He murmured. “But you call the shots. I’ll just be... Moral support.”

Allen already disappeared out the door, but his head poked into the doorframe at that. “Nah. You have the most important job outta’ the both of us.”

That was right. He didn’t tell him yet. He really should’ve a while ago, but he got caught up in the chase.

“Whether you remove a chip from his head or not will determine if he lives or not.”

Arthur paled.

“He’s the guy my boss wanted me to kill. Remember the dude I told you about? The one who tried to steal a prototype chip three years ago?” Now that he mentioned it, he recalled the conversation a few weeks ago. But wait a minute.

The mechanic felt his face scrunch up as he was hit with a major epiphany. That was Alfred? The terrorist Allen had been updating him about? He was the man who tore up three floors of the headquarters of Matsumoto Optics, and simultaneously, the same customer he had been serving for the last few years.

Before he could even process his shock, he was presented with even more appalling information.

“He stole it this time. That’s what he and (F/N) disappeared to do. But now that it’s in his head, it’ll overwrite his consciousness until he’s a fucking vegetable.”

Arthur was horrified. “Then why would he even--”

“Because he doesn’t know.” Allen cut in with a grim expression. “He thought the chip was supposed to give him immortality, so he wanted to keep it from falling into the wrong hands. Like my boss. But no. It’s the opposite. It was all a ploy to kill him.” At this point, the blonde was at loss for words. As a doctor and mechanic, he was quite frankly terrified of how devilishly clever Matsumoto was. But he couldn’t expect any less from him, could he?

They made it back to the car, and he could only stare aimlessly out the windshield, paralyzed.

“That’s why we need you.” He heard him say. Turning to the man, albeit slowly, he felt a hand slap down on his shoulder. Allen gave him a lopsided grin. “You’re the smartest guy I know, second to my boss. You were always great at fixing stuff. Cars, enhancements, people--so what’s a mixture of all three?”

Arthur dug a hand through his hair stressfully. “... You’re kidding.” And yet, he already knew he was on board. “... Are you calling him a car?”

The other flattened his lips. “... He technically could be.”

“Just to be clear, I fucking hate you.”

Allen laughed. “Sure.”

“But otherwise, we’re wasting time.” He couldn’t believe the words falling from his lips. This was really happening, wasn’t it? After taking him in as an apprentice for his auto shop, the roles were finally reversed. He no longer took charge as the teacher. Or rather, he became the student caught up in the most difficult assignment yet. Having a taste of Allen’s work.

“That’s what I’m talking about!”

***

Tower Lockdown

You had all the reasons in the world to be anxious coming home.

On top of worrying over Alfred, who had hundreds of trained assassins coming at him all at once, during every minute of the heist, you had to face an aspect of reality you avoided until now. You were in the building, and he had already stolen the chip. It was slotted comfortably in his head, ready to leave the premises.

How come your father never appeared? Was he really just going to let you go just like that?

But the real question was this--should you stay or leave?

Yes, you hardly approved of anything he’d done. Done to the world like Alfred always mentioned, and to Alfred himself. But you weren’t prepared to abandon him yet. He was still your father, and the only family you had. If you had to make a decision, you needed some closure. If not, a discussion.

And you expected him to give it to you as the least he could do.

As Alfred stood among a pile of dead bodies bathing in red, his mantis blades trembled against a katana blade. Even with his hands full, he made the time to check on you. “(F/N)! Stay away from walls! Just hang on for a second longer!” He shouted, turning to you briefly before diverting his attention back to his opponent. “We’re nearly home free!”

Pulling away to give him a swift jab in the chest, blood sprayed onto his face, but he wasn’t fazed.

What did, however, was the sight of you being thrown over the shoulder of one of the bodyguards. Color drained from his face and he burst into a sprint.

“(F/N)! No!” Watching you disappear into an elevator, he slammed right into the closing metal doors. “Fuck!” He slammed his fist against them to hear a loud bang. Before he could linger too long, he hastily made his way to a door adjacent. The emergency stairs would take a hell lot longer, but as if he’d wait for the elevator to come back down.

Even if he needed to climb up a hundred flights to get to you, he would--all the way to the penthouse where Matsumoto was.

When those men approached you, there was no struggle on your end. You knew where they were going to take you. And you wanted them to. It could even be said you were relieved, because that meant your father was thinking of you. After a minute or so, the soft whirring fell silent, followed by a soft ‘ding’.

They moved outside the elevator, and after a few steps, they set you down on your feet. Right in the middle of your father’s office. At the very end behind a desk sat the man himself, and he was eyeing you with an unreadable expression. Upon returning his stare, came an onslaught of emotions. But the most prominent was incapacitating anxiety.

Even as his daughter, you could never see through him. He was impossible to read. So you had no idea what to expect.

“Dad... We need to talk.” You began, walking up to him warily. This was what you wished for at the start, cried for, even. To return home. And yet, the nervous pounding in your chest seemed to worsen with every step you took. It was jarring to confront how much had changed since then. So while you barely managed any words, you were already overwhelmed, struggling to choke back tears.

“For once, I need to know what you’re thinking.”

He inhaled deeply before responding. “I was under the same impression that we’d have this conversation.” Standing up from his chair, he furrowed his brows at the sight of you clenching the fabric of your pants. “Don’t look so nervous, child. You haven’t done anything to anger or disappoint me.” Reaching out to your head, he settled a hand on it.

“... Really?” You whispered out. Hearing his assurances calmed you down a touch. But when you saw the forlorn gaze he cast down at you, your heart was crushed. “... Dad?”

Me!Me!Me!, Pt.2

Any existing contempt for him melted away just like that, but you weren’t upset at yourself for it. Your father hardly expressed any emotion besides calm indifference. And when he did, it always felt like the world was ending.

“I’m the one who deserves your anger.” He clarified, lowering his hands to your shoulders. “I’ve left you by yourself for far too long, (F/N). I hope you don’t hold it against me that you had to come home yourself.” You hung your head, unable to meet his saddened gray eyes. If you were to hold a grudge at him for it, you’d start by avoiding his gaze. “And I understand why you would’ve wanted to help him. He has a way with words, and a naïve sense of justice. But it’s a warped perception of reality.”

You’d hate to admit it, but no matter how cruel he seemed to be, there was a method to his madness.

And you were perhaps the only person in the world to know it.

That was why you were so torn. Torn between hating him and understanding him. After all, you couldn’t have both. “You can’t blame him after what you did to him.” Glancing up at that, you felt bile rise in your throat. Then, your vision blurred. “I don’t know what you’re aiming for--for this company, and this world. But you can’t expect him to accept this world you created when you stole him from his. He had a life!”

Staring at him through hot tears, he breathed out a soft sigh before rubbing them away with a swipe of the thumb. “I’m not asking for your forgiveness. And I won’t expect you to forgive me even after telling you the reasons for my actions.”

He pulled away from you to begin walking back to his desk, but not to sit down. Instead, he stood by the window to watch the blinking lights of skyscrapers and small moving dots of cars on the streets. “In a society that normalizes cybernetic enhancements, many forget what it is to be human. He never did. So of course, he would reject the idea of immortality. The destruction of the most human quality there is.”

He paused briefly to scan the landscape.

“Mortality. One’s inevitable end gives everything they do meaning.”

Wrinkles creased between your brows. It was confusing to hear him speak so highly of death, frustrating, even. Wasn’t he the one investing billions into correcting it like a flaw? “If that’s what you really think, then why? Why would you make something that would take that all away?”

He held his hands behind his back. “To serve the greater good. A sacrifice, if you will.” The man turned to you, this time with a serious glower. “Alfred thinks I would commercialize it. Sell it to the public. But he’s wrong. Immortality will only be available to the leaders of the world.”

By leaders, you could only assume he meant people like him. Not politicians, but business men and women. Company owners. The most powerful forces of the present. “The inability to die is a curse. You never move on because you’re still breathing. But that may be just what the world needs. Stagnation. An absence of change.”

It was daunting to know this man was your father. You couldn’t say you were born with half as many of these attributes he had. Intelligence was easily passed down, but there was something else written in his genes you could never dream of having. “With every passing year, decade, and century, humanity frays like a rope. Society continues to deteriorate... All until self-destruction becomes a matter of time.” Facing the window again, he scanned the impressive architecture he was proud to call his own. And it looked as pristine as it did yesterday.

“The only way to stop this was to take control of it myself. And that’s how I came to found this company. I’ve found a way to govern the people. To invest in science as the world’s last and only hope. But it’s a job that will last eons, so I was prepared to do it until the end of time.”

He was right in saying that society was inevitably doomed with the direction it was heading. That technology was the only solution, along with a world government. Matsumoto Optics. A cosmocracy with jurisdiction over the whole planet. There would be no wars. No conflict. And with only one state to call the shots, things could be done so much faster on a global scale.

It was a radical concept to grasp, but you couldn’t say there was no logic to it. “Alfred was meant to do it with me. To reincarnate again and again as my closest aide on my quest to preserve the world. But he ended up being the opposite. My foil.” Matsumoto shook his head. “Alfred is a nostalgic soul. He’s too attached to the past. But the way of the old can never last with how fast it makes the world burn. Even if he realized that, he would want to exact revenge on me after what I’ve done to him.”

“So before he destroys everything I’ve created, I have to destroy him first.”

Him & I (with Halsey)

You tensed up all over, but before you could ask him what he meant by destroy, the doors burst open. The very subject of the conversation had appeared, and just in time for the conclusion of it. His arrival caught you completely off guard, successfully derailing your train of thought, but your father merely acknowledged his arrival. “Ah. Speak of the devil.”

“Speak for yourself, you fucking demon.” He spat, marching over to your side to pull you into his chest. Immediately putting his hands all over your face, he was riddled with concern as he inspected you. “You okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you in time. What are you still doing here? C’mon, let’s go.” While he reached down to your hand to lead you away, you stayed put.

As relieved as you were to see him here, you couldn’t follow him out yet. You gave his hand a squeeze, then a soft smile of reassurance. Then, you turned to your father.

This time, you held him in a firm stare.

“Even if everyone thinks you’re crazy, I always knew you’d have some kind of justification for everything.” You started. Little did you know, you would take back this statement in the very near future. “But I can’t forgive you for what you did to Alfred. He never ended up doing anything you wanted him to, so giving him all those adjustments was pointless for you. But not for him. If you wanted to get rid of him, it wouldn't be easy.”

Matsumoto closed his eyes as if to agree. That was what you interpreted it as, at least. But unbeknownst to you, he was doing anything but. “I wouldn’t know what’s best for this world.”

“But what I do know is that I won’t let you hurt him.”

You spoke those words with a conviction so strong, Alfred’s eyes widened when he heard it. It wasn’t news you cared deeply for him, but to hear you say it to your father like that, and Matsumoto, no less, it made his mechanical heart pound more than he could fathom. You were actively disobeying him, a man you previously revolved your life around, for his sake. To say he was infatuated would be an understatement.

You felt his grip on you tighten.

“Say what you will, and I’ll respect your conviction. But I will come for him.” The bearded man murmured in a foreboding tone. A sinister light glinted in his dark gray irises. “And in the most unexpected way he could ever imagine. You will never want to see me again when that happens.”

“If.” Your voice was a little strained. As much as you wanted to hate him and move on, you couldn’t. Every single fiber of your being was urging you to find a reason, any reason, to not despise the man who raised you. “If, dad. Because if you did, I really will never forgive you. I’ll hate you forever.”

A grim expression contorted at his face. In his many decades on the planet, he’d never felt more dread. But one had to wonder if that was the right word. The regret had already arrived, because he’d already done something unforgivable. It was only a matter of time before you’d find out. “I’ve already done something to earn your unconditional hatred, child.”

That was right. He’d killed Allen, your best friend and only other semblance of family in your life. And perhaps, the person you held the closest to your heart. “Soon, you will learn what it is. So I’ll let you leave today because you will never want to come back. I’d imagine that to be more… Convenient for you.”

It was only your ignorance that blessed him this last moment. The last moment where you’d see him as your father with eyes unclouded by hatred. But it was short-lived.

It didn’t take long for you to put two and two together, and in your short silence, you came to remember someone that had been gone for a while. Allen.

Atlantis

You woke up in a cold sweat. For just one measly second as you oriented yourself, you weren’t tortured by a fury. Betrayal. Disgust. But it all came rushing back to you like the memories of that Godforsaken day you met with your father.

Sitting up with a deep frown, you felt heat build up around your face. It would be etched in your mind forever. The memory of Allen laying in the dump. Tossed out like a broken toy. Then, the stench of blood and rust as he was left for dead.

You always knew your father was mad, but he kept on surprising you with how mad he was. Turning to the figure beside you, tears only overwhelmed your waterline to see his chest rise and fall steadily.

He was still here. Alive and well. You could only hope the same for Allen.

It had been ten days since the heist. There hadn’t been a single sign of Matsumoto or his men, meaning Alfred really did do his research on the best places to hide. Climbing onto his form, you wound up laying on his chest. Then, you peered down at his sleeping face.

As you got comfortable, you felt a smile creep onto your lips. If the you from a few months ago saw what you were doing, she’d be flabbergasted. Since when did you like him this much?

Your cheeks grew a little rosy as you became self-aware of the position you were in. Full-on embarrassment hit you when he began to stir, but before you could get off of him, his eyes fluttered open. Uh oh. Now this warranted an explanation.

For a second, he was confused, but when he saw that it was just you, he grinned lazily. “Morning, babe. Care to tell me why you’re not sleeping on your side of the bed?”

He’d totally cornered you. And did he just call you babe? “Um... I, well... I woke up on you, so don’t get the wrong idea. I was just about to get off.” Sliding yourself off of him at that, you tried your damndest to simmer down. But he never gave you the chance. Rolling over to face you, he pulled you in around your waist much to your surprise. “Hey!”

You never got around to pointing out that pet name, either.

He caught you in a serious stare. “Don’t be so shy. We’re close, aren’t we?” Alfred was never one to beat around the bush. You knew that better than anyone, but that didn’t mean you were used to it. Lowering your head at that, you fixated on his chest.

“... I guess so. That doesn’t mean I can sleep on you like that, though. And plus, it must’ve been uncomfortable.”

“Nah. You’re light as hell.” He hummed. Sitting up with you on his lap, his statement became more apparent in how effortless he made it seem. “You’re like a few grapes, really. So don’t worry about it.”

Why he chose to focus on that part of your argument was beyond you. Did he really not see anything wrong with what you were doing? Or maybe he did, and didn’t want to mention it. He’d been hugging you a lot lately the past week, but that wasn’t as deserving of your attention as spooning you while he slept.

Wasn’t he pushing the envelope? It would make sense he was just trying to comfort you after your run-in with your father, and your discovery that he was the one who attempted to off your best friend. But wasn’t this a bit much?

He wrapped his arms around your neck. There was nothing between you both, and yet, he was holding you like there was. Like you were his.

"...” It was in his smile. It was different to how he always looked at you, as if there was finally something behind those electric blue irises. Something alive. Something hot. As you played around with the idea, you lit up like a Christmas tree and pushed his mouth away. “Don’t look at me like that.”

Almost as if he read your mind, he relented. But only reluctantly. Picking you up from under your arms, he set you onto the mattress so he could get out of bed. Looking back at you over his shoulder, he gave your cheek an affectionate pinch. “Whatever you say. I’ll be back after a piss.”

When he left the room, you were left to your own devices. As you brought your knees to your chest, you came to realize how tight it was. He’d only left for a few seconds, and you were already waiting for him to return. It was ridiculous to think about, but it was almost as if you missed him. Already.

Did spending all this time with him give you some kind of separation anxiety?

Or was it something more?

You couldn’t tell.

The fact that he mentioned ‘I’ll be back’ suggested he was aware of your attachment to him. You buried your face into your knees.

Turns out, you weren’t the only one having a hard time processing your feelings.

When he disappeared into the bathroom, he pressed his back against the wall. Reaching up to his chest, he scrunched up a part of his shirt as the pounding in his heart subsided--his metaphorical one. Alfred didn’t think it was weird to find you on top of him like that, let alone dislike it. In fact, he loved it. It gave him a shred of hope that maybe, you did like him the way he liked you.

But that didn’t change the fact that he couldn’t be with you.

This was the fifth motel he’d been to after the heist. There was no saying he’d be dead by the end of the day. Not when your father was after his head. So he wasn’t about to start anything. That would be too selfish, even for him--though one had to wonder if ‘selfish’ could even describe him anymore. He was anything but. At least, for you he wasn’t.

Alfred would only be proven right when he took a step towards the toilet. His vision started to glitch. Then, he lost his balance, falling over the sink and slamming his head against the mirror. “Fuck--!” Stumbling back onto his feet, he was engulfed in black for a few seconds. What the hell was going on?

His bout of disorientation lasted for far too long to be normal.

Before he would start accepting the prospect of going blind, his vision returned. He thought he would celebrate that moment, but he forgot what he was even fussing about. What happened? Lowering his gaze to his hands, he stared at them for a while before looking back up. What was he doing here? Where was he?

That was right. He was in a motel. With you. Running away from uncertain death. It took a minute or so to recall all of these things, and that was what alarmed him. It seemed like his body wasn’t accepting the chip very well.

Temporary memory loss and blindness was just apart of the transition, right?

Little did he know, it was anything but.

Outside that very district sat two men in a car. Bags hung under their dull eyes as they scanned the streets as vigilantly as their sleep deprivation let them. It had been two days since they slept, but they wouldn’t rest until they found him. There were only four days until the damage was done.

If they didn’t get to the man before then, he would be as good as dead.

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quitethepirategal · 3 years

Text

An Analysis in Threes

❥ TAGGED BY: @emcads like 30 years ago ❥ TAGGING: @riidcr @starsailingcaptain @covencrown @hookd @all-fleshed-out @evermxre @motherofredemption @bup1957 @conquistadoradelmar @seaprofound @tcthinecwnself @withinycu @windguided @daevilhorns @concordia-cum-sinistro and YOU and I spent like 8 hours on this so pLEASE READ IT PLEASE I AM BEGGING I NEED VALIDATION I’M-

repost don’t reblog. yall dont have to type this much.

MUSE: Captain Red Handed Jessica

Three Strengths:

Her adaptability and resourcefulness. Is she brave, yes. Is she lucky, also yes. But over all, she can roll with the cards she’s been dealt in a way that many would call inhumanly clever. Her intelligence, her perception, and her charisma are all different ingredients of this indomitable characteristic of hers. She can see the value in just about anything and anyone, can pick up on clues and tangents few others can follow, and can remember seemingly endless details, tho unfortunately not on command. But even then, her patchy memory seems to contribute to this adaptability as well, as it usually allows for detachment. If she can find resources everywhere, it means she can survive everywhere. There have been countless times where the wheel of fortune has suddenly turned on her and she’d lost near everything and her response was more or less Damn, ok I need food water and shelter lets go. No food? Grow food. No water? Ask someone if they have water. No shelter? Sleep outside. No money? Steal money. Can’t hear anymore? Cool I can use loud weapons. Crashed on an island? My island now. Shot? Free bullet. She knows when to push, she knows when to quit, and sometimes she knows when to gamble based on her ability ( what a man can do and what he can’t do and all that ). Strong she may be, she knows its foolish to rely on strength. Survival of the fittest actually rarely means survival of the strongest. ( edit; this is the theme for the entirety of her character. I will say it 50,000 times. I am very sorry ). And as a student of philosophy and biology, she understands that phrase better than most. Leading to our next point.

Her understanding. As I stated, her charisma is something unmatched, and is a key element in all three of her strengths. This charisma might not exist as prominently were it not for her ability to understand. She has limited ( I’ll get back to that ) but deep running empathy and while not terribly observant all the time, she is always perceptive. Not only that, but she’s personally known abuse, hardship, and uncertainty, and understands that hate or anger can be rooted in similar pain. She was schooled lightly in both Christian and Buddhist values before diving heavily into democratic philosophy, meaning she believes all being experience suffering and therefore kindness is a powerful sign of strength, but also that suffering while free and equal is better than comfort in oppression. And between her sweet words and beautiful face, she can get most people to open up in ways they themselves my not have expected. Being very good with people means she can learn from them, gain something from them, lead them, and/or use them. But Jessica isn’t a manipulator in truth; her intentions are almost always kind or healthy ones. She absolutely uses people from time to time but not EVER without them consenting to or being made aware of such because again, unlike a manipulative person, she understands that can ruin a relationship and therefore ruin a resource. What it makes for is an excellent leader, a beloved captain, and a trusted ally at most and an excellent conversationalist at the least. But her understanding isn’t just social, oh no. It’s academic as well. Armed only with his little library and the lessons of his own teachers, Jessica’s foster father tirelessly smithed her into a not just a girl who knew a lot of things, but a truly intelligent, thinking mind. He’d die before learning he’d succeeded tenfold. Jessica isn’t one to just except things as they are, facts or otherwise. She usually needs to prove it, experiment, see things from a new angle. Debates with her are fun! She has no issue admitting she’s wrong or confessing she’s never thought of it that way, and is actually wrong a lot of the time. It doesn’t bruise her ego, it excites her. It means there’s more to learn. And her ability to constantly understand new concepts paired with her ability to overwhelmingly understand people combine to make for a very powerful core idea of hers: We are fittest to survive because we all fit together. Our humanity, our empathy, our community are our strengths because they keep us united, which keeps us the fittest. No one is independent, no man is an island. People are power. And thus her final strength is just that.

Her power. While she and I still firmly state that strength isn’t everything don’t be disillusioned; its very goddamn important. And it’s something Jessica has plenty of. She is durable and clever because of her rocky early childhood, she is quick and versatile from her youth in a pirate port, she is physically strong and mighty from her years training in martial arts, and she’s an absolute crackshot after years of diligent practice with her trusty pistols. Her true strength may lie in her brains and in her allies yes, but even without them, Red Jessica is a powerhouse of a warrior. She can end fights extremely quickly or run from them without a prayer of catching her ( no shame in the later, both skills keep you alive ). And it may be in bad taste to say, but ever since loosing most of her hearing, Jess swears up and down it’s made her vision better, her reaction time faster, and her quick thinking even quicker. Yes of course she’s slowed down with age, but a bullet shoots at the same speed no matter how old you are. And you best hope she didn’t bring her firecrackers, because while sudden loud noises will absolutely temporarily discombobulate or debilitate an opponent with healthy hearing, it’ll hardly effect her at all and suddenly, you’re a sitting duck. You see those thighs? You see those calves? She can crush PINEAPPLES with them! People have seen her do it! Do you know how many micro-fractures broke and rebuilt those hands? Thousands! She can crush a trachea like a fucking beer can! She can kick you to death! One ill placed curb stomp and you are DECEASED. Sometimes she’ll just psyche you out because she KNOWS you know she can kill your stupid ass! But while her strength, mental and physical, have always been there, her power is relatively new. As stated before, people are power. Not knowledge, not money, not strength. People. She’s a fearsome warrior but she’d be useless if outnumbered. Shes a very successful pirate, but she’d never make it out of port without a crew on her ship. She found a gorgeous island, but it’d still be wild without those who built it’s piers and buildings. She manages orchards and tends to them and harvests them herself, but she would loose all of her crop without the helping hands of her employed farmers. And like I mentioned, she deeply understands this. Freedom is not independence or vice versa. Did you make the clothes on your back or the fabric that made those clothes? Did you write the books you read to make you smarter or teach you that skill? Did you plant the seed years ago that grew that orange you’re eating? No, of course not. Jessica didn’t either. Another human did. We all need each other to fill the holes in our lives that we can’t fill ourselves. Humans are puzzle pieces in that way, there is no bigger picture or prayer for survival on our own. And because of this, we can do anything we as a community, as a SPECIES work together to achieve. There is no knowledge if there’s no one to learn from, there is no money if a society don’t give it value, your money is worthless if those you’re paying decide to rise against you, your role as leader only exists at the consent of those you lead, and your strength won’t save you from a sinking ship. People are, and always will be, power. And as someone who is exceptionally strong and exceedingly smart, Jessica has slotted herself in the humanity puzzle thusly: The strong exist to protect the weak, the smart exist to educate, and the lucky exist so the unlucky may be given aid. And it is with this fairness and compassion that she has won the trust of so many. She has a great many friends and allies even outside of those in her crew or on her island. And she can make many more with ease. That kind of power is not a power to be trifled with, even if she can kick your ass six ways to Saturday without it.

Three Weaknesses:

She suffers ADHD. Now before ANY OF Y’ALL SAY ANYTHING, I myself also suffer ADHD. And yes I do say suffer because well that’s what it causes for Jessica and I, suffering. Yes, it is ableist language to say ‘suffering from’ rather than ‘has’ or ‘is diagnosed with’ and yes it perpetuates a stigma against us but god DAMN IT in both Jessica’s case and mine, it make life much much harder than it needs to be. At the end of the day, Red Jessica is a fantasy of mine; I pour myself into her whether I mean to or not. She’s the adult I wish I was, the person I might be if I had no anxiety, or brainfog, or lived in a world were I didn’t need a credit score or a degree. And even then, I can’t say I know anyone else’s problems better than my own. So if my character has problems, by sheer osmosis they are going to reflect some of mine. Both of the characters I write have ADHD because I have ADHD and I couldn’t even begin to know how a non-ADHD mind works to write it properly. And no, I’m not being dramatic when I say it causes me suffering. I can’t drive, I can’t hold down a job, I nearly flunked out of school, I still cant read very fast or spell very well, I am constantly overwhelmed by mundane things, I’m a slow learner, I forget very important things or recent things, I forget about things that mean the world to me, I forget about people, I stumble through tasks, I procrastinate hobbies and basic hygiene, and everything I do takes all goddamn day and I can only really do one important thing at a time and in order of importance. If I have a date at 4pm, I’m dressed and ready at 11am because I’ve gotta do the important thing first or else I will forget to do the important thing. I started typing this at a little before 5pm. It’s 7;30. It’ll probably be 10 o’clock at night by the time I fucking finish ( edit: l m a o its 1am bitch you thought ). I’m 26 and am just medicated enough to barely function. So yeah. Suffering is the word. Though for Jessica, perhaps suffering is a tad strong of a word. Her ADHD affects her ability to function in far less debilitating ways ( though whether that’s a result of a less severe diagnosis than me or the result of the society, situations, and responsibilities she functions in and around are far different from mine, who’s to say ). For her, she has very consuming hyperfixations that can last anywhere between weeks to decades, a spotty memory that is detail and memento oriented, she’s scatterbrained more often then not but can focus with amazing clarity on her interests or in high adrenaline situations, is is ABYSMALLY bad at math and EXCRUCIATINGLY bad with numbers ( as opposed to me, who is good at numbers but shit at spelling or reading ), she can forget anything no matter how important it is to her or to anyone, she’s bad with names and dates, is COMPLETELY time-blind, has trouble prioritizing, and of course, wile not actually that materialistic, she absolutely has the ol’ magpie instinct. While her poor memory assists in her adaptability and ability to move on, it also means she forgets things she needed to remember, like when the last time she bathed was and who this person is and what happened between her and someone else or what conversation’s shes had. Unfortunately this means she’s a very good friend and leader... while you’re around and interacting with her on at least a weekly basis. It’s almost a lack of object permanence in both a social and very real sense. If something is not right in front of her, odds are she’s not going to think about it. And while its something she constantly kicks herself for and actively tries to be better about, it applies to people too. Face to face is the best way to interact with her; she won’t think to write you and in her modern verse she won’t think to ever call and she’ll text you back in perhaps a few days. She doesn’t value you any less, I promise. She’s just either distracted or overwhelmed. Also, for someone as understanding as her, she is surprisingly self-centered. Not selfish, self-centered. She’ll talk about herself more than she should, and will assume people understand that she’s doing so as a form of showing empathy rather than bragging when they may not know this at all. Actually she accidentally assumes all the time. It was far worse when her hearing was functional; she’d finish your sentence for you or guess what it was you were going to say ( again, not to talk over, you but to show she understands you and the conversation, tho it usually came of as annoying or patronizing ). Sometimes she mistakenly assumes you believe or know the same things she does without even realizing it. Maybe she perceives the right idea off of someone but isn’t observant enough to notice anything past that. And while she is willing to change her mind about things, she might change her mind a tad too quickly. She’s an over-sharer and is horrible at keeping any kind of secret. Romantic relationships tend to fizzle out. Her impulse control is improving but has a VERY long way to go. She’s always chasing something new. All and all, when you’re a pirate, a librarian, or even a captain, all of these things may be irritating and inconvenient, but are overall manageable in chunks. ...But as a governor to her island, as a leader of an entire population... oof. In the position of leadership that she’s in, she can’t afford to make too many massive mistakes, and she knows this. ‘There is no power quite like the power of being underestimated’ is a phase you’ll hear her say a lot but for her, there is a shift in connotation. If people expect less and you do more that’s a great upper hand in any situation but for her, it was a safety net. Having ADHD sometimes means going months or years being fine and then eventually you fuck up and everyone around you wonders how in the world you managed to do that. She has only barely avoided disaster more times than she’d like to admit. Even with the resourcefulness, the understanding, and the power she wields, she’s finally starting to realize that she’s bit off more than she might be able to chew, with the entire well-beings and livelihoods of others on the line. And she fears that one day she’ll play her cards wrong and everything she’d built, everything she’s done, will all come crashing down in ruin.

She is Hard of Hearing. This one is literally as simple as it sounds: she has moderate and degenerative hearing loss and tinnitus after years of canons, explosions, gunshots, and a definitive, scale tipping attack in her early 30s. Her ears just don’t work at all like they used to. The whole world sounds like it would if everything was underwater: she can’t pin point the location of sounds, how far off or close sounds are, and barely registers changes in volume. And it only gets worse the older she gets; one day she won’t hear anything at all. And while yes, again, it might be very harsh and ableist to say, the truth of the matter that being deaf a “ weakness ” more often than its a strength. That said, it very well can be a strength. I’ve already mentioned that trick with the firecrackers and let me tell you it is a DAMN EFFECTIVE TRICK. Shes around explosions and canons and guns all the time and now she can focus while being around them five times better than she could in the past! But unfortunately it also means she’s very easy to sneak up on, she sometimes isn’t aware of danger until it’s nearly too late, no one can get her attention or warn her across any distance, it’s very easy to escape from her, and it’s easy for her to be just... left out of things. She might hear you talking, but she has little to no idea what you’re saying without sign or lipreading. Some people don’t have the patience or even just the courtesy to speak slower, or clearer, or repeat themselves a lot. Though, those last too thinks aren’t weaknesses of hers so much as they are the weakness of others, but they still negatively affect her self esteem and her effectiveness as a leader. All of this has taught her to pick her battles carefully, and plan around the elements of surprise and discombobulation. And while communication was tricky at first, it only got easier, and now she can talk to you almost like anyone can, so long as she’s looking you in the face.

That damn bleeding heart. We have established a number of things that should easily add up to an overly empathetic, trusting, fight-the-good-fight, martyr-some, idealistic pushover; she believes humanity and kindness are strengths, she has taken on the role of leader and then a provider, she has known suffering and tasked herself with ending the suffering of others to the best of her ability, she lacks the clarity of mind to assume people aren’t just as good or capable as her automatically, she can have poor impulse control at times, she wants to have relationships, and ( while I never stated this outright yet it can be inferred ), she believes that being able to see yourself in others is the foundation of humanity and ( as i did say outright ) humanity is what keeps us unified and unity is what makes us fit and strong. Keeping up? Good. Here’s the curve ball: How can she whole hardheartedly preach and believe all of this, to the point of it being the foundation of her character, WHILE BEING A VIOLENT THIEVING AND BLOODTHIRSTY PIRATE?! HOW, MANGO? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!! Ok, fine, sure, I will. I’m sure about one half of you are looking up from the screen and going “ Oh yeah, wow I totally forgot that bit. “ and the other half got about two and a half paragraphs in before squinting and silently calling bullshit. So let me explain. In short, she’s a detached hypocrite and is well aware and unashamed of her hypocrisy while far less aware of her detachment. I’ll cover both: Western culture as a whole seems to be under the impression that hypocrisy, despite context or importance, is automatically bad. I don’t know where this comes from personally ( my bet is Christianity but I have exactly 0 evidence ) but its a very... flawed idea. Take the freedom of speech vs racism problem; say you owned a bar where all could speak their mind freely over cold drinks. Excellent concept without context, right? Sure. ....Then a die hard racist covered in slurs and symbols walks in and orders- what are you going to do? The correct answer is to throw him out instantly. Not let him sit so long as he doesn’t cause trouble, not just ignore him and hope he doesn’t return, you throw him out. Is it hypocritical? Yep! Sure is! But it is also 100% necessary to protect your other patrons because if you don’t, the racist starts feeling safe and bringing his racist buddies, literally everyone else starts feeling unsafe and starts to hang out elsewhere, and two months later, ta da! You now own a n*zi bar and there is literally nothing you can do about it. Jessica is in a somewhat similar situation. You as a pretend bar owner need to make a decision as who to let into your bar and who to throw out for the good of all of your patrons. Jessica too is faced daily with that decision. If she want’s to help as many people as possible, the only realistic way she can do that are by protecting those under her leadership... only. She is surrounded by hateful, angry, sneaky, traitorous, abusive, or otherwise evil people. Piracy as a profession and poverty in general can do that to a person. Of course there is a clear difference between those down on their luck and desperate, and the truly cruel and twisted, but unfortunately both types of people yield the same wrongdoings. It’s absolutely her nature to extend a hand to anyone and everyone but.... she just can’t anymore. Too many times has her trust been betrayed, too many times has she gotten in peoples business trying to be helpful, only for her to absolutely bite her in the ass. Too many time the extended hand is bitten and once or twice, she’s actually made things worse. Now, she will only help someone she loves, someone under her leadership, or someone who seeks her out. That’s it. And even then, sometime it manages to bite er in the ass. But she had to set that hard limit for herself out of necessity, one she does her absolute best to adhere too and... these days she adheres a little too well. That leads us to our next point; what I was alluding to at the beginning of her Understanding essay when I said she has limited but deep running empathy. That detachment again, courtesy of a very unattached mother and unchecked ADHD. ( It isn’t a strong enough characteristic to even rank as a strength or a weakness but damn if it isn’t an undercurrent to a lot of her motivations and experiences. ) Strangers are fair game that she tries to ignore, but if she even perceives you as a threat, you could be in danger. Like anyone used to violence or perhaps anyone trapped in an us verses them mindset, she can just... flat... turn her empathy off. Not on command, she’s not a socio or psychopath persay. But she has become totally numb to the horror of violence via her warrior upbringing that, in her mind, violence can actually be rather fun. Pair that with the fact that she purposely tailored herself to only be empathetic to her allies and boom. You get a kindhearted killer. Cops and soldiers in our world do it literally every day. Actually anyone can do it really, even you if you tried. You don’t have to be evil or even angry to kill or steal or lie... you just have to believe you’re right.

Three Secrets:

WHAT SECRETS?! LMAO this bitch is the oversharing queen!! I’ve been typing and pondering her character for literal hours ( its currently 11:16, fuck you adderall ), and I still can not think of a single goddamn secret. There is nothing about her that at least five random people don’t fucking know about!! The only secrets she has are secrets she knows about other people and even then she is!! literally the worst!! She spills her guts left and right and yet she wants to be a mysterious bitch SO BAD like BABE I love you, you’re precious, but you are a dumbass attention seeking validation chasing adhd CLOWN girl!! Stop telling random people about your hermaphroditism or your dairy allergy or your dead dad or that time you fell asleep in a barrel like that is literally your uber driver Jessica honey come ooooon. I’m skipping this section mom holy fuck.

Three Fears:

What if she does wrong by everyone who trusts her? As stated at the end of the ADHD essay, she’s terrified of failing those she leads. Where it as simple as personal failure, she’d be fine. Ever if her entire world came crashing down on top of her she’d either die or start back from square one. Death is a fact of life and her adaptability means she can just dust herself off and move on, so neither her death nor her failures really scare her... But it isn’t just her life and happiness at stake, is it? Not anymore, right? What started as a leader of a small gang of rebels became a full crew, then a crew became a slew of allies, then those allies built a town and now... now she’s the governor of the Crimson Isle and there are nearly twenty five HUNDRED lives at her mercy. HER mercy. One really, really bad mistake could ruin their livelihoods or spark disorder and disloyalty. And if she died? Would whoever it is that will take her place be as good to them as she is? Is she good enough to begin with in the first place? Every day the paperwork gets a little bit thicker, every year there’s a new baby or two. And the isle has fertile soil sure but will it last? Are they prepared for a raid or a hurricane? And if Jessica trusts the wrong people, where her people right to trust her? ...can I protect them? Can I protect them?! CAN I PROTECT THEM?!

Who am I if I’m not interesting? This is, literally, an entirely subconscious fear. She’s not at all aware it exists and therefor this entry is short. But between her short time with her very unimpressed mother, her own ADHD, she is constantly hungry for attention without even realizing it. She must be interesting and intriguing and engaging, and I did mention she wants to also be mysterious. She wants not so much your input or even your validation - but rather if shes not perceived then.... is she really there? Remember, she is unaware of any of this. And fortunately she’d never been starved for attention to act out over it in the first place, even when her disinterested mother was alive. Look at her; she’s radiant, she’s beautiful, and she’s 6′4 / 195 cm shredded and covered in cool scars. Without even opening her mouth, without even her colorful clothes, she’s kind of automatically interesting. So she’s never been so desperate for attention that she acts out because she’s never been without it for very long. But it’s there. Hungry, aching, silent. Those years after the M branding were horrible and she could never really explain why. She still throws parties, organizes festivals, and talks to damn near anyone who will listen. Look at my art! Look at my library! Listen to how much I know! Let me tell you how lovely you are! Look at my scares! Look at my hair! Look at me haha, please, please look at me.

GHOSTS. NOPE. No. NO. Fuck ALL of that noise. Stay dead, go to hell, eat a dick. Red Jessica is a scientist and superstitious atheist. As an academic and somewhat bi-cultural woman she simply thinks there are far too many religions with far too much history for any of them to be considered The One True Thing You Must Believe Or ElseTM and she tends to not truly believe anything until she finds some kind of proof. Shes not afraid of the unknown, shes thrilled by it. She’s not afraid of death or the afterlife, that’s beyond her control. She’s only superstitious because she does believe in and value luck, and also its a bit of a cultural habit. BUT IF SOME SHIT STARTS MOVING ON ITS OWN OR IF SHE SEES SOME BULLSHIT IN THE CORNER OF HER EYE THEN SHE IS OUT OF THERE. OUTIE 5000. She has heard the tales of lost souls from purgatory or the eternally ravenous Pret or dangerous Phi Tai Hong or the tragic and startling Banshees or the creepy Santa Compana and she wouldn’t believe a word of it where it not for one thing. SHE FUCKING SAW ONE. She’ll never forget it, it was the first and last time she EVER attempted to plunder a tomb all Skyrim style and at first she thought it was one of the crewmean being creepy as shit until she got a good look and he was SEE THROUGH AS SHIT AND SKINNY AS FCUK AND SHE GOT LITERALLY CHASED THE FUCK OUT OF THAT JOINT. She does not CARE that some ghosts are just apparitions she does not CARE that some are friendly and trying to warn her of something if you are MOVING and DEAD at the SAME time get FUCKED. If any of y’all cringe try-hards bring a Ouija board to the party you are getting SENT HOME and BLOCKED. NO CAP.

Three Goals:

She really only has one left. Listen its... almost 1am and ive been typing since like 5pm i think i covered goals somewhere in here but ive gotta throw in the towel but even then I’m kinda being serious. Her only remaining goal is to find a suitable heir of some kind. She wants what she’s built to fall into worthey hands but she could never seem to find a good parter and even when she did she couldn’t sustain a pregnancy ( you’d think that would be a huge deal but it hardly mattered to her oddly ). So at 50 the option of having kids is out but there’s still plenty of hope for either adoption or a protege. But then again, she’s so busy these days that she hardly prioritizes it like she wants to.

holy shit i need some water...

#i.... i did it.. its done.. its DONE #...this took my entire saterday #i will literally pay yall actuall dollars to read all of this please... it took so long i dont want it to be for nothing qwq #x; EVER PLAYED CRAZY EIGHTS? { dash games }#x; QUITE THE PIRATE GAL { portrait }#x; WHY AREN'T YOU A CLEVER ONE? { meta }

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thattimdrakeguy · 4 years

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I’m writing this fic about the Batfamily and I’m afraid of writing them as OOC. If you are able to, could you please give some tips on each of the Batfam’s personalities and characteristics? To specify, Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph, Cass, Babs, Damian, and Duke are the characters I’m using. It would be really helpful! Thank you!!

This is a tricky question, because I don’t know the story of your fic to help you in any specific way. So if after this you wanna DM me for more specific help on how to work things out, I’ll be there to help you right away unless I’m doing something, but I have no plans.

I’m going to go from easiest for me to do to least easiest, because I obviously know Tim the best, but even then, it’s hard, because going off the character’s you are choosing, it’s set during the part of the timeline were he went OOC, but I’ll do my best just to say his general character so you can use that as a base for things. Like how he was developed in his origin and all that, and notable characteristics he’s had as he grew while still in character. With some that even if they weren’t around with some of those characters, would apply to them.

His is also going to be the longest, like way too long, because he’s a way more nuanced and complex character than anyone ever gives him credit for. So he takes a lot longer to explains by a freaking large margin. Like sorry if it’s too big, I just kept saying more as more came to mind because I feel like his nuances are what makes him interesting and easy to right. Once you get a hang of his nuances, and you get used to it, it makes it easier to put yourself into his mindset to how he works, which makes him easier to write as well.

(THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY LONG POST, AND I APOLOGIZE. I just really wanted to be thorough and give contexts to stuff. It’s less of tips and more of an overly long description of what I know about each character and what’s in-character and what’s not going off of how the character’s were developed to be, and not counting the out of character writing. So really sorry about this being so freaking long)

Tim:

Tim’s origin right off the back is having met Dick at a very very young age, I don’t think he could even strongly walk yet, so I’mma say three. He was instantly attached to Dick, he just admired him instantly just for giving him affection. He was his hero. But he was also there the day Dick’s parents died, which traumatized Tim and gave him nightmares for years. But being able to remember that night so thoroughly, he remembered a specific move that Dick could do that very few could, and that’s how he found out Dick was Batman, and logically, Bruce Wayne was Batman.

There’s a large misconception that as a little kid, Tim followed Batman and Robin around, but that was not the case. At least not physically and literally followed them around. Closest being when I believe he happened to come across Batman in his origin story, and purposely did his best detective work to figure out where Dick would be.

As shown several times but most strongly in his origin, but wasn’t as strong the more he went on, he’s sort of socially oblivious to what’s considered normal or not, or what other people are thinking of him.

For instance he just knocked on Starfire’s and Dick’s apartment, asked Kori (Starfire) if Dick was home because he needed his help, and when she said no, just bolted even when Kori asked his name. Just concerning the crap out of her. Even when he first met Dick, he just wouldn’t say his name because “NO TIME”, he just squirmed around place to place on his bike being completely oblivious of himself. In his first miniseries he searches up information on Clyde (a former government agent he saved and befriends) that he shouldn’t have, unaware that that’d obviously be crossing a line for some people. Even taking his girlfriend to a car show, where there was a lot of bikini models around, and it didn’t even occur to him what it’d look like he was there for. He was just genuinely bubbly to see the cars.

He doesn’t do any of those sorts of things out of malice, he’s always just presented as being incredibly oblivious of himself quite a bit. Most likely from not having his parents around that much as his childhood progressed, and typically just living in boarding schools, or with a nanny. So he didn’t really developed right as one interpretation, and another being (that was actually almost confirmed if it wasn’t for Tim getting a writer before another could say it) is that he’s on the Autism spectrum. Which is technically verified, as he has many symptoms of Asperger’s. But that isn’t technically canon, as it never got to be officially said. But it’s valid enough.

Tim’s main strength is his detective work, he also knows how to use a computer to his advantage. Many modern comics act as if Tim is a master hacker who could hack into anything. But he actually mostly used them for detective work, and small hack jobs, some of which he failed. He seemed to have learned more about hacking from Barbara, or at least some what implied, as Babs let him help her build a big computer, or something of that sort.

He also took karate as a kid, and is implied to have also taken gymnastics. It’s stated that he’s actually really good at gymnastics by Alfred in Tim’s origin, but his fighting skills, despite the karate lessons he had previously taken, isn’t as good as the others. Hence his staff, and having to be clever in how he goes about a fight.

How Tim operates as far as emotionally or mentally depends too. Sometimes he’ll go straight from the heart and get himself in trouble, but other times he’ll take his time to really plan something out for himself on the spot. It depends on how his emotions are at the time. If he was just picked on or beat up, he’ll be more agitated, and if something really really bad that happened, he just go so far in he just beats the crap out of everyone as bad as he can. As shown by trying to apprehend someone that shot someone he knew at school, or Batman betraying his trust (in an honestly out of character story). If he’s calmer though, or at least doing his best to be, he’ll use his brain more before he starts. I think his talents in planning have been overstated for ages, because while he’s good at it, he’s not exactly the greatest or overall good. Just enough to work fine enough to get the job done.

One of his biggest mental weakness’s, is his constant insecurity. Somethings that’s so constantly on his mind is letting someone down, rather it be Batman or his dad Jack, or even Nightwing, or his team. The reason why Tim acted so different and more of a seriously brooding personality in Young Justice, was because he was so insecure about not having powers that he thought he had to push himself to his limits. So he used some Batman leadership tactics, and fought harder than he ever fought before just to seem like he was even worth having around. When by himself though, it’s more of a sadness, an upset feeling in his gut. Tim has anxiety about things, rather or not he’s good enough. He’s not a super confident person when it comes to himself. He doesn’t think much of him.

One editorial person answering fan questions in the back of comics as they used to, even described Tim as meek. He doesn’t brag or think much of himself as super according to it.

He’s also stated and shown to be internally scared quite a bit, even shaking when he first got his own Robin suit. Another occasion saying the cold water might excuse his shivering. Which goes along with his anxiety.

Another thing about him that is more low-key and not as noticed, is how Tim, even though he clearly thinks of himself as a kid, heck even the letter column above says so, he has also said since being Robin he’s never had time to be a kid. But he is also still a kid.

As they specified his voice a bit more, he tended to use heck, Holy crud, dang, fudge, weenie, and even Pus Bucket (a reference to Ghost Busters) as his choice of cussing (if that even remotely counts).

And even if it’s not noticeable at first, is shown as having a secret teddy bear that he kept hidden under his mattress so I assume no one would see it.

He’s also a pretty innocent kid despite what all he sees. His mind doesn’t go to the gutter. He trusts people far faster than he should, even trusting Lady Shiva, the world’s most dangerous woman and know criminal right away.

Even Tim’s step-mother saying so out-loud. Showing that this is also the case in his personal life as well.

It also goes along with his social obliviousness. This stuff being rounded into not having any street smarts, which was a main theme for Tim directly in his first miniseries. As well as being naive.

Of course as life went on that wasn’t the case as much, but in the above screenshot, Dana (his step-mom) is saying that as Tim is already 16.

Tim in-general also being a super hero fanboy. As a kid he watched the news, clipped out the papers on them, collected, and even drew his own Batman art (and potentially) others to put on his wall.

Tim’s general behavior while socializing also depends on his emotions at the time. He’s normally very nice and friendly, when not super depressed or down on himself he’s bubbly. But he’s also still a kid, he can pout when he’s hurt, and passive aggressive to people he doesn’t like. Examples being, literally not listening to a jock that picks on his friends, an over-arrogant jerk he met in France, and even Steph because she kept being reckless and flirting with him when he didn’t like it.

Nothing straight up insults, but just generally passive aggressive, give them a clue he doesn’t like them very much even if it never worked. He just wants them to go away, unless they’re a straight up bully. Tim, if it’s no one he specifically knows that will invade his personal life, will beat up bullies. He really can’t stand a bully.

Another thing about Tim is that even though he’s an introvert typically, he’s also not very shy. A shy kid wouldn’t travel miles on a bike (and I freaking hope busses) to meet someone he barely knows because he believes in Batman needing a Robin. He also stands up to bullies, and unless he’s really uncomfortable could talk to about anyone. He even slept in only his briefs and undershirt in the house of someone he doesn’t know, with two people he also barely knows. With that example also probably adding up to the socially oblivious part of his personality.

As far as his relationships go, he canonically thinks of the Bat-Family as his family. Dick calls Tim his little brother, Babs treats Tim as her baby brother as well as acting like his/ Aunt/ Mom depending on the situation (I think Tim fell asleep on her couch after eating pizza while using his cape as a blanket and drooling. So Mom’s a stretch but still), Bruce is his distant but still father figure, Alfred is his grandpa (who he actually plays video games with), even Cass to an extent treating Tim as a baby brother as well.

He is very much the baby of the family. And Tim talks to them about personal stuff (bar Cass cause he was scared of her in the beginning), most of them from Alfred and Dick, to the mute hunchback in the Batcave Harold (who is a real character and I love him). He was always collecting advice from where ever he could get it.

He’s also intensely morally operated. He hates killing. He said he took an oath to let himself be killed before ever killing, getting PTSD from feeling responsible for a death, and even crying when he had genuinely thought Bruce killed someone.

As far as how he tries to present himself, he is constantly doing his best to take everything as seriously as he can, even shunning himself when he starts to stop taking things as serious, he wants to be seen as serious, trustworthy, and reliable desperately so he doesn’t let anyone down. He is constantly hard of himself, and is always trying to be what he thinks Batman wants him to be. Which is were a lot of his anxieties from. Even trying to think of what Batman or Dick would do because he regards them so highly. Even calling Bruce the great man he’s ever known I believe during one of his post-origin pre-Robin appearances.

He’s naive and oblivious of himself, as well as childish in some areas (I think his nanny yelled at him once for it), but overall what he tries to hardest at is taking everything seriously as possible, and using his brain as much as he can. He may not be the most mature, often actually handling situations very immaturely, but he does his best to at least seem like he’s mature, and to an extent he actually can be genuinely very mature, or at least as much as a naive oblivious child can be.

Dick:

This ones a lot shorter probably, because I don’t read him as much, but still have a good handle on him.

I think he’s a character very few always write correctly, because they ride too much into the friendly, compassionate guy. Which, compassion being his main motivator in how he goes about as much as he can, and he’s incredibly friendly, he’s also a very angsty and angry person deep down.

He’s a perfectionist, a trait fics tend to give to Tim more, but actually belongs to Dick. He gets really hard on himself when he thinks he messed something up badly, having nightmares over it, he doesn’t like himself when he messes up something badly. And even if he’s not a naturally angry person, when he is angry, he can be VERY VERY angry.

And until Batman writers in the early 00s started it, I wouldn’t even had considered him all that chatty. He had some jokes in him, was very light hearted when not in distress or mad, but as he was developed by Marv Wolfman, who basically created the Dick that has remained the base for him ever since, he was relatively a generally calm guy when he wasn’t emotional.

He was polite, a charming guy, the type of person you want to bring home to your parents basically. He dressed well. Did his best to keep people accommodated.

He wasn’t a goofy, constant jokester that’d talk your ear off or keep begging for hugs.

He’s not that kind of guy. He’s just a gentlemen.

He’s also not that much of a thot. He’s a “wait till it’s right” sort of guy when it comes to sex.

He’d do anything in the world he could to make sure his friends felt right too, and that they were okay.

But all this doesn’t mean he’s not just a one note personality. Depending on how bad he feels like he messed up, he’ll distance himself from people, stop caring as much about his appearance, get more violent and mean. He also doesn’t take well to Batman’s nonsense, he’s probably the person he got specifically mad at the most. He didn’t like the way Batman went about stuff after a while. He had complicated feelings towards him.

Despite people nowadays just thinking of Dick being Batman’s son officially, adopted, end of. That wasn’t exactly their relationship. Dick had a complicated relationship with Bruce. Part of him looked at Bruce as a big brother, and another half a dad, and he wasn’t even adopted, just a ward. Something that Dick was actually quite insecure about, till apparently he got adopted as a grown adult man (which I dunno is true or an edit, but I’ve seen it somewhere).

Dick’s relationship with Tim is pure big bro baby bro. He was very protective of Tim, calling him the closest thing to a brother he ever had, and little brother, before they were ever even officially brothers. He’d push Tim out of the way in times of big trouble, make him stand back, ruffled his hair all the time, and loved teasing him. But when they started off, Dick just sort of thought Tim was a weird annoying kid, given that Tim was acting so screwy during his origin, Dick really didn’t know what to make of him, but the closer they got, they got very very close. Dick cared a lot about Tim a ton once they got accommodated. Tim would even call Dick on the phone just to talk to him about anything from his day to his problems. Tim could count on Dick to help when ever he could. Tim was Dick’s dweebie baby brother who he took care of when needed. Even teaching Tim how to wash clothes personally since Tim didn’t have a clue.

I don’t think him and Jason really had a relationship. He gave him a number to talk about stuff like Robin angst, and a few pics show they hanged out at least once or twice, but nothing suggests they were close. It seems like Dick was hard on himself, because Jason died before they could get close. After the Red Hood, Dick’s just kind of a-- dick to Jason, and Tim was too, but I don’t consider that in-character. Neither Tim nor Dick would be even remotely okay about the killing, but I can’t picture them treating him like he’s a joke and less than trash. Too much emotional baggage there. Tim would be distant to Jason, and Dick would be uncomfortable and conflicted. That’s my guesses on a more accurate relationship.

Dick’s always had a really big crush on Babs ever since he was a kid to the point they were stuck in a small area together and Dick lost dignity over-- I dunno, puberty effecting him. There’s no way I can put that that’s comfortable. But Dick has a crush on Babs, that got put into a romantic relationship both ways when they aged down Babs, but for some people the relationship is relatively gross because of the age gap, and feeling the need to age down a character like Babs, who just looked at Dick like a kid, to just date him. It’s complicated, and I dunno enough about them besides that exactly. I’m not the guy to ask on that.

He doesn’t have a proper relationship with either Duke or Steph, but it doesn’t seem like Dick’s ever been the fondest of Steph. And Duke’s new, and they only ever been around each other in fan service moments. So I don’t think he has a real actual relationship with Duke.

Dick and Cass despite I don’t think ever being shown much together, also had a sweet relationship. With Dick doing his best to make sure his sister (before she was adopted, but Dick treated her as one nevertheless much like Tim as Dick’s baby brother) was comfortable, acting goofy, and to me coming across as if he’s always really wanted a sister. But they weren’t super close, but there’s enough there to say that they easily could become close.

Dick and Damian was mentor mentoree, and to a large extent Dick was Damian’s father figure as Bruce was dead. As written by Damian’s creator, Dick didn’t seem to like Damian at all in the beginning, but as Dick could realize and understand his responsibilities more, they did gain a closer bond. Dick would put Damian in line (besides when bad writers were too afraid to make Damian seem like he’s in the wrong fully), sometimes even the hard way, and could be very proud of him. They aren’t big bro little bro like how some current writers act for pandering purposes. But they did grow to be close, even if Damian’s naturally really emotionally distant. Dick always wanted the best for Damian, even if he couldn’t always handle it the right way or knew what to do. He was a guy in his early to mid 20s with the responsibilities of reraising a 10 year old kid that was raised and abused by a cult, who can blame him.

Damian

I’m kind of just getting Damian out of the way, because to be frank, he’s been a really crappily written character since his origin, because he personality just absolutely switches between every writer, and he’s just so badly written that way.

But I’ll go off of what I believe to be what his writer wanted, since that’s the most accurate you can get.

Damian was raised and abused in a cult. That dictates a lot of how he thinks.

He was not close to his mother (which is out of character for Talia, and they later switched that after the reboot, but to be frank if Talia was always in-character Damian wouldn’t exist as we know him. He’d be a total different person and character). And he seemed to despise the way his dad goes about things. He seemed very indifferent and had his mood set to angry in general when he first met.

Which made it all the weirder when an issue later Damian seems to want his parents to be together, despite making it clear he doesn’t even like or think much of either one of them at all.

He was also very entitled, because despite being treated as an experiment some of the time, he was also treated as a prince the other half of the time. He thought the world was his, and he deserved everything.

He nearly killed Tim because he thought he deserved being Robin, as Tim was just adopted and not a “real” son. Seemingly he thought that was what he had to do to have his dad accept him and treat him as he thought he should.

He also seems to think he’s above Jason as well.

He’s also shown as sexist and homophobic.

He was brash and reckless about everything. Had a talented in just about everything just because of how he was raised, and goes off on his own to do stuff, because I assume he thinks everyone else holds him back.

After Dick though, Damian learned to not be a murderer (which I also think he might’ve learned before cause he wants to live with Bruce, It’s a little weird and not given enough time to actually be developed fully in an easy to digest way. Which is another reason why I think he’s such a poorly written character), also more reserved, and reckless.

As he was originally intended, he was very tall and not cute. His height being around 5′2 to 5′4 at age 10. Meaning he was an inch taller than Tim was at 13 when Damian was 10 off of that first one, and only an inch shorter than Tim at the age he met him, where Tim was 17 going on 18. It may not be drawn that way, but you also have to remember this is 00s and beyond era DC Comics were Tim despite being described as looking 12 got drawn as big as Dick sometimes. Don’t always use the art to go off of certain information. I say he wasn’t intended to be cute, because there’s a scene were he was at a gala, where a woman clearly wanting to gold-dig Gotham City’s most eligible Bachelor Bruce Wayne by getting close to her son, but she immediately backed away when she saw him.

Which sounds harsh, but Damian’s also basically the “anti-Robin”, he was everything a Robin wasn’t meant to be and he was intended to just die and that’s it. Hence why he was with Dick to keep the Batman and Robin dynamic intact, just in reverse. As you can see, they completely forgot what made Damian interesting when his character gained some consistency with his creator.

Damian’s development was that he grew a actual caring heart even if he still carried the generally same personality. He was dismissive of people, sexually harassed Steph, was generally anti-social-esque.

And honestly because every writer after (even the one everyone seems to think is his best writer, which I massively agree times a billion and infinite more) just kept reverting him, again and again, even when they wrote stories with character development, it was gone again. And applied a whole bunch of traits that aren’t like Damian in the slightest, so if you pay attention. Ya can tell Damian’s not Damian, he’s literally not even a shell of his self. They just painted another one to look kind of like him, and even then they don’t do that because he freaking looks completely different some of the time. They botched him so much.

But that was the main thing about Damian.

I think one reason he got close to Dick and no one else was because Damian from his origin (no matter how poorly written they showed it), always wanted to have a proper parent. Which it seemed he could never have. And Dick grew to serve that purpose, as Dick was the one teaching him lessons, and making sure he was actually safe.

But of course later on DC Comics literally forgot everything that was letting him slowly become a better character. So that sucks.

I partially came into this fandom because of Damian. So when I actually got to read him, I was so freaking miserable after. I genuinely wanted to like him so bad, even voicing that to people I was chatting too as I read the comics, but I literally just couldn’t see why anyone cared for his comics. I don’t think any of them are fully well-written.

But it did help me grasp what Damian’s suppose to be like as I could tell what he’s suppose to be and not suppose to be, much like how I learned about Tim’s actual personality vs the one writers that don’t care about him write.

Steph

Just doing this one to get a more negatively centered one out of the way, because I struggle to find any personality traits I deem actually likable when put under context.

Because she’s full of her self, reckless, cynical, more or less sexually harassed Tim, kissing him against his wishes (and before ya say Tim did that first. it’s a little less offensive when Tim didn’t do it sexually or romantically. That was just for a dumb trope. A reward kiss. It’s still gross, but it’s a different context that’s less directly offensive), goes behind people’s backs sometimes, can be emotionally abusive, and shows signs of physically abusive.

So I don’t exactly find her super likable. And her spot in the Bat-Family was so contrived, that often nowadays I just don’t pay attention her anymore, but in fairness a lot of that’s just cause she has crazy stans that start fights that were barely there, be hypocritical, and group bully folks. So it’s relatively hard for me to wanna look at her these days.

But to be more specific before she seems like an actual freaking demon woman or what ever. Some of that doesn’t come across as bad compared to what it could be. Besides the emotional abuse, that was just a thing and the comics and people just elected to ignore it even though that was written by her creator.

She’s reckless in a way where she clearly doesn’t have proper training to make sure no one or herself gets hurt. She’s been shown causing herself to get hurt or underestimate stuff. She also doesn’t listen to people that know more about what they do, and she usually relies on luck to get by.

She’s full of herself, because she more or less says she’s an adrenaline junkie, and might just be beating up bad guys because she finds it really fun and exciting. She likes the thrill. And tries to put a title of super hero on herself sometimes, because she tries to seem heroric as she does it. She also does it to make up for her dad, which is more admirable, but behavior wise and focus wise it’s more pinned on her just being an adrenaline junkie.

She also just constantly just flirt with Tim even when he didn’t want it. Which is what sexual harassment is. She also kissed him for her own satisfaction twice, once nearly getting them both killed cause people were shooting at them, and another as them and other people were close to freezing to death because they were stuck under snow. That kind of behavior able to be under sexual assault given the context for her kisses was just for herself. Even the time she tried to say it was to make up for Tim’s reward kiss, she quickly makes it obvious it was just because she’s very sexually attracted to him.

She also just nearly lets criminals die a lot because “What’s one more life”, and seems to not care much for the lesson of not killing, specifically her dad. Like she still has the moral standard not to kill, but compared to the others it’s not one she takes as serious. She learned her lesson on being cynical, but it’s still ingrained in her personality.

I also have a whole very long post on why her relationship with Tim doesn’t work, and how she was abusive. I don’t feel like going over that again but that’s a thing.

Besides Tim she has no real relationship with the others besides Cass, which is another relationship I don’t fully understand, because Steph borderline insults her, and Cass thinks she gets in the way so much she just fractures Steph’s jaw to knock her out. They gave them some admittedly cute moments, but it’s never felt right to me. Always felt forced and pandery, but it’s a thing. They’ve played tag each other, and talked about how both of their parents are abusive.

She also had one with in Batgirl, but the best I can describe that is, she helps Steph so she doesn’t hurt herself, and she can be pretty gruff sometimes, but is also caring. it’s just kind of a been there done that sort of thing.

A lot of Batgirl is sort of forced. Bat-Family has reasonable criticisms of her, writer does something to make them more unlikable so readers still like Steph, Steph proves them wrong, they respect her. It’s a formula for a few stories in her Batgirl run.

People have also said her and Damian have a sibling relationship, but I don’t agree with that. Damian sexually harassed her and kept looking at her boobs. Damian had a crush on her, but he was also a stubborn entitled jerk to her. Steph just got back at Damian by making him dress as a normal kid to embarrass him, and when she saw Damian never played before got him to jump on a bouncy castle. Besides generic banter that’s about it. And given Damian’s personality, they never did anything like that bouncy castle thing again. It’s a really big stretch to call that sibling-like. And even the stuff you could stretch is still doesn’t pay attention to the Damian talking about her boobs constantly thing. Parts of it was just pandery, as a lot of that Batgirl run was.

So I don’t overall have a good opinion of her. She’s perseverance and doesn’t give up, and won’t take no for an answer, but given the context it’s not in a good way besides saving Tim’s and others lifes a few times.

Babs

Despite having read her a lot I don’t know her a lot, because she’s typically always the other character in things. The lady that gets the information.

So I only know a few things about her.

She has the perseverance and won’t take no traits, but in a more positive context. She has no use of her legs but that doesn’t stop her from fighting crime and helping people.

She’s a serious, and mature personality. Every case is very seriously to her, besides a few Tim got into because they were just very goofy.

She can also joke a lot. She has a very teasing personality in her as well. Especially with Tim, she seemed to find Tim really cute and loved teasing him.

I pretty much only have panels of her and Tim besides a rare few maybe, cause as I said she’s mostly a side character helping out.

I have read Birds of Prey but that was possible a year or two ago, and I didn’t really pay attention so I’m not as sure.

She’s very leaderly, and will direct the traffic so to say. She’s a magnificent detective and hacker. Stands up for herself. Inquisitive. Her mind always seems to be thinking of the next thing to think about.

She’s a character I can’t talk about as well without it being one dimensional.

Cass

Cass is another character I don’t have the best grasp on but been trying to learn because she’s probably my second favorite Batkid even if I don’t understand her as strongly. But I do get a lot of her basic personality, and a bit of the nuances, even if I’m not ultra confident on it yet.

She’s quirky, she knows how to tease, but she can also be a bit objective based unless she’s bored it seems, like she does watch TV, but when she has a goal she will not stop until the goal is done. She’s a fully compassionate person as well, she sees little kid needing help, she helps little kid.

Also given her upraising she can be more socially oblivious than anyone else, even Tim. She’s walked around an apartment she was sharing with others butt naked. I think she accidentally flirted with Babs (not a shippy thing, it’s a, Cass said a thing she didn’t understand thing), because she couldn’t tell the difference between a platonic thing and cheesy romantic thing as she watched TV.

She doesn’t always listen. She will just beat by her own drum unless she believes in something someone else said more.

Given her mind wasn’t raised to be socializing, a lot of this stuff makes sense and is kind of obvious when you think about it.

Cass can also be very stubborn when she has a goal, even when it’s against someone else’s wishes.

She’s mostly been a loner by herself, but she has grown to seem to genuinely like having company around to bond with.

She’s been shown being protective of Tim. Literally carrying him out of a fight zone.

Babs’s is more or less her mom.

Dick and Steph’s I’ve described before.

Distant with Alfred, but Alfred will occasionally drop by to help out. They’re still carrying if they aren’t as connected as others.

Not gonna lie I can’t remember her relationship with Bruce.

But that’s some of the basics and slight nuances of Batgirl. I’m still in the early part of learning about her. So I’ll probably understand her more later on. I genuinely really like her though. I like how she isn’t a one dimensional character like some writers make her out to be. She’s genuinely really fun to read.

Jason

I actually know Jason quite a bit because I made a big long post about his time as Robin (post-crisis only, not counting the scripts written before the 80s reboot, or anything inconsistent).

He’s anti-authority, angry, cusses, smokes, violent, murderous tendencies, aggressive, but also has a genuine heroic spirit, is appreciative of the opportunities he was able to have, loved being able to learn especially, had insecurities, and a lot of his violence was in the name of being a more aggressive way of justice. He’d never hurt an innocent.

A lot of this is explain by the fact he was raised on the streets more or less.

When ever he got especially violent was because of a bad guy hurting or killing an innocent or committing abusive acts of any sort. He probably seen a lot of bad stuff on the streets and doesn’t handle it.

He’s pretty decently cynical because of thinking that’s the best way to deal with it.

He was also moody, but after his upbringing that’s to be expected, and unlike what some thinks, Batman was actually understanding and did his best to help Jason back even if he didn’t get it as first.

Jason isn’t a villain, he is a pure anti-hero, he wants to help, he loves to help, when he feels like he should help he does. He just has his own way of doing it that lots don’t agree with.

When he became the Red Hood, all of this stuff just became amplified because of the traumatic event he went through and the feeling of not being avenged and abandoned again.

Where as before he’d nearly kill people, he outright does now with even left empathy. He had a sack of decapitated head once just so other criminals knew he wasn’t playing around.

However his moodiness came out in different ways. He was actually a very calm, chill personality as the Red Hood, until his traumas got poked at, where he’d go back into his angry bitter ways, but to a more unstoppable way. He’d be more violent, more angry, more inconsolable, more unstable.

As the Red Hood, he is a very far ahead planner and tactition. People always call Tim the planner, but to me Jason is the planner and tactition of the group. He had a large plan that took a while to do, but caused him to accomplish a lot in a short time. Tim does it in the moment or moments before and does a fine enough job, but he isn’t a good leader. Dick is a good planner tactition and leader, but it can also just be shortly before he does something. Jason thinks very far ahead and how people will react and think, how to get under their skin, what will piss them off, what will give him what he once etc.

When he’s not unstable, he’s calm and collected, and is always trying to get under people’s skin. Not in a large over the top way, but just a bit. In an almost charming sort of way. A sly way. He pokes buttons when he’s calm and collected.

As to be expected his relationship with the Bat-Family is complicated. He’s mostly just in the Bat-Family almost purely because of his past in it, more than what he is currently. He’s more of a loner type that will get help when needed, but until the New 52 said otherwise, he’s not much of a team player as he mostly works by himself.

Bat-Family wants him to get better, but at the same time I think they recognize it’s gonna take a lot for Jason to get better, and since Jason is dangerous it creates a lot of overwhelming feelings. Bruce is upset at himself and is almost grieving Jason all over again, Dick has regrets he never had a chance to know him till then, and Tim’s relationship has been so varied and never really felt right, I’d say most likely Tim would be scared of Jason, and upset at him. Jason was a Robin that killed. Going off of how Tim reacted to thinking Batman killed, he’d probably be genuinely miserable at the thought of what Jason became, and be distant from him.

Jason is sly and hard to read unless he’s emotional.

Duke

Duke is the hardest to say anything for, because he’s the newest, most obscure (even tho he is gaining quick prominence), and so therefore has less to go off of. Not helped by a lot of writers making him very two dimensional at best a lot of the time.

He is a natural leader, a dare-devil, very willing to put his life on the line at any time, and passionate and almost stubborn about helping people. He wants to save people, and he’s always wanting to help, because he wants to make his neighborhood a better place.

And that’s almost all I can say, because having read his mini-series he doesn’t have many character traits, and WE ARE ROBIN, where he was introduced and I got that from was short lived.

He’s only with the other Batkids when they really wanna pander, so I can’t even accurately say anything, and the few times you could make a guess it’s not in-character for the other. So he’s just hard to tell. Besides Cass.

I think he’d naturally get along with Bruce, Dick, and Tim, and he’s shown being closest to Cass in the Outsiders series. Considering Cass a sister I believe. They console in each other, care about each other, worry about each other, and look after each other. That’s the closest relationship he has.

But it’s hard to say a lot for him.

AGES:

To be blunt I can’t say with full accuracy because there’s so many inconsistencies plus reboots.

But I’ll go into oldest to youngest, because some don’t realize some ages.

Dick, was 21 when Tim was 13

Jason was 18 when Tim was 15

Cass is the same age if not older than Jason

Steph is two years older than Tim

I believe Duke is around the same age as Steph

and Tim and Damian’s ages off of that is pretty obvious.

Sorry this is so freaking long, but like I said, just DM me. I’m about to watch a movie, but I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. I at least hope this helped some, and if it’s too long, just message me because it’ll probably be less overwhelming then.

#long post

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aqvarius · 4 years

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[REVIEW] Her Love in the Force: Ayumu Shinonome - Who I Once Was

I got some pretty good reception on my previous Episode 0 review, so I thought I would share my thoughts on Shinonome’s Who I Once Was as well. It’s not so much a review as much as just my personal thoughts on what this Episode 0 contributes to Ayumu’s past and future, some character analysis on Shinonome, Naru, AyumuxMC, Team Kaga, and why I think it tells us a lot about how I think Ayumu’s Love’s Trial route might play out.

Ayumu’s whole season so far has gone in a pretty different direction from everyone else’s. For example, one of the biggest differences is that his Love’s Battlefield route actually focusses more on his development rather than his MC’s (who frankly… gets little to no development). This is due to another big difference, which is how the role of Tsugaru is used to emphasise the changing dynamic between him and his MC due to their change in hierarchical divide. (I’m also currently working on a piece about how the MC’s dynamic with Team Tsugaru is used as a plot device for the key character and relationship developmental themes and how this differs from route to route, as well as what is consistent.) His Episode 0 does a similar thing.

When I read Soma’s Who I Once Was, it thrilled me because it helped contextualise and provide insight into his character by letting me retrospectively analyse his behaviours and traits in his earlier routes. This was important information since Soma is someone who doesn’t change much before and after joining Public Safety; his MC is the one who has the biggest effect on his changing attitude (and it’s something that he is conflicted about even into his second season). Therefore, his Episode 0 helped develop a more well-rounded picture of the version of him that we actually get to see. Ayumu’s Who I Once Was does the opposite thing for me. While Ayumu’s Ep 0 does provide a lot more information about his past that we have never heard of (almost everything that happens in Kaga, Goto and Soma’s routes are things that they have already mentioned), what this does is help set up the direction that Ayumu’s future route is heading towards. If Goto’s and Soma’s Episode 0s help us understand where they came from, Ayumu’s tells us where he is going.

Typically, the rest of the PSD instructors join Public Safety to fulfil their vendettas, except Ishigami whose reason for joining Public Safety (apart from maybe his sister’s case) is never explicitly stated afaik because his Episode 0 is literally just about academy life with Kaga lmao. However, Ayumu has no personal tragedy that leads him specifically to Public Safety. He ends up there because of his own mistakes, and the act of joining Public Safety alone helps him to develop a sense of purpose. Contrast this with Goto and Soma, who are still lost in the mist of grief and vengeance even after joining Public Safety, or Kaga, who literally only just got closure on one aspect of his motivation and is still working on the other. For the others, joining Public Safety is a stepping stone to helping them get to where they want to be. For Ayumu, Public Safety finally gives him a sense of purpose and choice, meaning that the Ayumu we see in his MS1 is already markedly different from the version of him we see here in his Episode 0. Later, I will expand on why this is still not entirely him going on his ‘own’ path, but it is still a significant decision nonetheless.

The path that brings Ayumu to Public Safety is influenced most strongly by two reasons, the former of which is influenced by the latter, and they are: (1) ennui; (2) his love for Sachi.

You may be thinking: how could you leave out Naru, who orchestrates the entire string of events that leads to Ayumu even first getting involved with the police? That’s because the reason that Naru even comes to learn of Ayumu is because of Ayumu’s ennui. So let’s begin with that.

Ayumu’s ennui stems from his privilege and his sense of obligation. We learn that he’s studying at T University (presumably Todai, a.k.a. Tokyo University, one of the country’s most elite institutions) to take over his family’s business (which is in electronics), but that he finds this unsatisfying. Because he thinks that he was adopted just to be the successor to the illustrious Shinonome house, he feels like he has to fulfil his role as heir. However, this is something that he finds personally unfulfilling. The reason for this is partially that he is just a genius who needs more intellectual stimulation. But more significantly, this is because he is struggling with his internal conflict over obligation to his parents (becoming the heir to Kochi Electronics) and his feelings for Sachi (becoming a police officer in the hopes that he will recognise him as her hero). Ayumu is someone who we know to be extremely concerned about his image – not just in the literal, physical sense, but also his whole persona. We know that Ayumu doesn’t even like to show his true self to his own parents; the only person that he’s ever been truly vulnerable around is Goldie. He protects his true feelings well and is quite prone to doing things to keep up an impression that other people have of him. At the same time, he is also someone who is not very communicative, and can often make assumptions about people’s intentions. This is one of the reasons why he is so inherently burdened by what he perceives to be the expectations of others.

Anyway, the different mindsets that he holds regarding these two options are illustrated particularly effectively through the two groups of his university ‘friends’. On the one hand, you have the guys, who are little more than schmoozy jerks who are only interested in one night stands and talking about their sexual conquests. They represent life as a future CEO, where Ayumu would be forced to network with people (and perhaps even become the type of person) who he finds shallow and frankly not worth his time.

On the other hand, there’s Suo, who represents both a more idealistic and meaningful type of future and a choice that goes along with Ayumu’s goal of being Sachi’s hero, but this path is also something that he clearly is unsure about. Both of these options are ones which are based on what Ayumu thinks that other people want him to do, not because of his personal interest. This is why, quite predictably for a genius but also because he is trapped in a place where he feels he has no real control, Ayumu ends up unfulfilled.

This lack of fulfilment leads him to partake in something that is genuinely a personal interest of his: hobby hacking. We can tell that this is actually fulfilling to him not just because he’s exceptionally talented, does it a lot and says he enjoys it, but also because hacking is the only thing that he is sure about. This is expressed through the directness of his hacking style, which Naru becomes attracted to and praises as “straight to the goal, like a comet”. And this is why I would argue that Naru is less responsible for Ayumu’s ultimate trajectory than Ayumu’s own tedium, because it is the tedium and indecisiveness that Naru takes advantage of the most.

Kinda weird that they didn’t use a close up sprite of Shinonome to match Naru’s one tho.

If you’ve played Ayumu’s Battlefield route, it’ll come as no surprise to you to know that Naru is manipulative. Honestly, I would go as far as to say I find him to be one of the most terrifying villains throughout HLITF. I won’t go too far into his character, but I want to talk a bit about the relationship between him and Ayumu. For all of his smarts, Ayumu falls into Naru’s trap so easily. This is because Naru recognises and targets certain weaknesses that he picks up, such as Ayumu’s disdain for those around him, which is why he taunts him that he can do better than being friends with those “kids” whose conversation is “way below your level”.

He’s both stroking Ayumu’s ego and affirming his belief that the uni friends are immature. He does the same thing with the job situation, taunting him not just about Ayumu’s consideration of applying for a civil servant position but also about taking over the family business. Here, he recognises that Ayumu has reservations about both, and seduces him into taking a third option beyond those two: to focus on his hacking and join forces. Naru shows him that his current situation isn’t enough for someone as great as him, recognising Ayumu’s tedium and showing him a dangerous, challenging world.

Ayumu becomes tempted. I think the biggest clue that he has actually fallen into the trap deliberately set by Naru comes at this one point, where we see Ayumu’s internal monologue about how he is spending more and more time with Naru and on the hacking forum. He thinks that he should quit soon, since he was treating it just as a challenge and now knows where his level is. Naru interrupts this line of thought, saying “Too sweet”. He is commenting on the peach nectar, saying that it’s literally too sweet (too much sugar), but the same word 甘い in Japanese is also used to mean naïve, meaning that Naru could be calling Ayumu naïve (for being so easily manipulated). Obviously, Naru probably isn’t responding to Ayumu’s internal monologue since he can’t read minds, but from a reader’s perspective, I think that moment was quite deliberate. Maybe I’m just reading too much into things, but I found it to be both very clever and also quite haunting, especially since the next move that Naru makes is his first attempt to propose the hacking duel which ends up being a trap for Ayumu to allow Naru to steal confidential NPA data.

It’s also clever that Suo interrupts before he can go through with this proposal, since wholesome Suo represents an idealistic path towards justice.

Anyway, even after Naru, who has more or less lured Ayumu almost completely to the dark side, actually successfully proposes that battle, there is one thing stopping him from going through with it, and that leads us on to point number 2.

Let’s talk about Sachi.

She, and his love for her, are the only reason why he’s even considering a future in law enforcement at first. He says as much, that it’s not his dream.

Those typical Ayumu character traits that I previously discussed in relation to his relationship with his parents make their reappearance. Firstly, the fact that he feels like he needs to keep up a certain image, which is demonstrated when he drinks coffee in front of her and lies about no longer drinking sweet beverages. In this case, he is trying to perform maturity. Secondly, his feeling of obligation: he feels obliged to Sachi to fulfil his promise that he’ll become a police officer in her stead. Thirdly, the fact that this feeling is self-imposed. Sachi never explicitly said “I want you to become a police officer.” He made that promise of his own accord, assuming that’s what she wanted. Ayumu is doing everything that he thinks is expected of him.

(We later find out that she never forgot and he was just assuming that she did)

Even his disillusionment at uni life and his friends to some extent stems from his feelings for Sachi. The main reason he sees those friends as immature is because they talk about nothing but girls and hooking up, even when they are getting top scores in tests. He even actively separates himself from them in this regard: when he thinks about their girl chat, his mind drifts to Sachi and he thinks about how he’s different.

Ayumu is a fool for love. We see the same thing happen over and over again even with his own MC: he’s surprisingly (not that surprising anymore haha) childish and emotional when it comes to his feelings. He is a one-woman man through and through, to the point where he is literally so head over heels that he often allows his feelings towards the subject of his love to dictate his actions. We like to think that Ayumu is so clever and calm and logical – and he can be, when it comes to work – but every mistake he makes in his Episode 0 is the result of an uncontrolled emotional response to being hurt by Sachi. He lost his virginity to a random one night stand when Sachi went on an overnight trip with her teacher. He’s resigned to throw away a future in law enforcement as a way to get back at Sachi because he thinks she’s forgotten her words.

Think about it: he has no personal negative feelings about the police, not in the way that Soma does, for example. He sees the police agency as a place that’s associated with a promise with Sachi, and how he wants to be seen by her. I previously mentioned that Ayumu is someone who cares a lot about how people see him and is weighed down by a feeling of obligation that he imposes on himself. Thus, when he thinks that she isn’t even thinking of him anymore, he decides to go through with hacking them as a way to get back at her as well as to throw away his heavy feeling of obligation towards that promise. To be honest, every time he threw everything down just to listen to Sachi talk about another man was devastating to read every time. My heart just ached.

However, despite being the reason why he ultimately chooses to give in to Naru’s manipulation, Sachi is the one element about Ayumu that Naru doesn’t know about. What Naru doesn’t know is that all of these emotions that he used to taunt Ayumu lead back to Ayumu’s feelings for Sachi. Those college friends’ talk of hooking up is cheap next to his feelings for Sachi. His indecision over career is due to his internal conflict over whether he will just have his heart broken again. We know that his parents are such great people and keep encouraging him to do what he wants to do, but Ayumu actively chooses to disregard their sentiments in order to keep himself trapped as an excuse.

To be honest, I think he is choosing to be in denial since he knows that even if he does go through his promise to Sachi and becomes a police officer, it wouldn’t change the fact that she loves some other guy, but he just is too afraid to admit that to himself honestly. He wants the choice to be taken away from him so he doesn’t have to take responsibility for the outcome. Let’s be real, refusing to admit his honest feelings to himself is one of Ayumu’s defining traits lol.

This is why I truly believe that Ayumu is the one man in HLITF who loves the hardest. At the end of the day, all of Ayumu’s choices and mistakes in his Episode 0 come down to his feelings for Sachi. His indecisiveness over his career, his disdain for college talk about hooking up, his conflicting feelings about law enforcement, even his choice to ultimately join Public Safety, almost his entire identity is based around Sachi. Personally, I really appreciate that the writers didn’t underplay how important she was to him and almost his entire past just to appease readers who want to forget about her. Even when the choice to join law enforcement becomes his own choice (bc of the bombing incident), he still relies on Sachi for strength.

The reason I feel that way is because this is a demonstration of how strong Ayumu’s love is, but also because it just goes to show how much his MC changed him to make him able to forget about someone as important as Sachi and fall in love with her instead. And this is also why I believe, in Ayumu’s future Love’s Trial route, that Naru will be defeated because he will not be able to understand the level of depth and dedication that Ayumu’s love truly reaches, and how his words, actions, thoughts and entire world are shaped by his love for his girl.

Let’s revisit those three points of his character that I mentioned previously and see how they relate to his relationship with his MC – more specifically, how she has managed to overcome them.

1. Needing to project a certain image. This defence mechanism is something that HLITF MC gradually wore down over the years through her relentless pestering but is dealt with most explicitly in Our Graduation Epilogue chapter 3. She wants to be his home, i.e. the place where he can be himself entirely without any pretence of trying to be cool.

2. His feeling of obligation. This is something that isn’t as clear cut as a promise, but I would say that the closest thing to obligation here would be his role as her instructor. I think this is one of the reasons that he is so adamant about maintaining that teacher/student boundary and why he has always worked to bring out her innate strengths, because he feels obliged to her as an educator and mentor and that he has to fulfil this duty to her. That’s why he gets so worried about losing that dynamic, because he’s worried that he’ll lose his worth to her when that role no longer exists and that she won’t need him anymore. Luckily, she disproves that for him and shows that she’s actually more excited for that boundary to be dispersed.

3. Being assumptive/imposing burdens on himself. This is related to what I previously explained about his anxieties. But also, jumping to conclusions is something that we see Ayumu doing throughout the first two seasons and substories as well. These two are constantly getting into arguments because of miscommunication, particularly in substories (the ones that come to mind the most are Temptation Lingerie, 夏、ほてりが冷めるまで and Surprise Date Love Story). But luckily, we know that things always work out because he’s just so in love with her haha and because she’s so unwavering in her love for him~

Naru is formidable. I really think the second half of Ayumu’s S3 is going to be one of the most intense routes in the entire game because he is a direct nemesis who just seems like an anarchistic edgelord, not a whole terrorist group or organisation that has a goal wider than just chaos. He’s clever and crafty, and I believe his hacking skills will be at least on par with Ayumu’s (i.e. I think Ayumu will find it challenging to go against him technically). I think he will be furious that someone of Ayumu’s talent has been coopted by Public Safety, of all people, and he will do anything he can to get his ‘friend’ back with him, perhaps employing the same types of taunting and tempting techniques that he used in this Episode 0.

What will separate the two will be what Ayumu will do for, and with, his MC. The one key point that Naru was missing the first time was that Ayumu’s decisions were ultimately swayed by Sachi, because you know he would have exploited that weakness if he had known. And I believe he will miss that point again this time when he tries to take Ayumu back. He already knows that Ayumu cares for his MC but what he won’t realise that Ayumu’s love can strengthen him now; it’s not a weakness. Plus, Ayumu has already demonstrated, and is now even more explicit about, how far he is willing to go to help her. Also, if he has to battle Naru, he won’t be doing it alone. He has the love of his life, who he personally trained into a specialist, fighting alongside him.

Anyway, that’s enough speculating from me. I don’t have the energy at the moment to articulate in detail about the ways in which Ayumu and his MC love each other, but I’m sure it’s obvious to all of you who have read his routes and fallen in love with him. I just want to mention some things that I loved about this route.

The great thing about every Episode 0 route is that all of the characters are still extremely flawed even at the end, which allows us to get a good sense of how they got from point A (life before PS) to point B (joining PS), and then how that then brings them to point C (meeting and falling in love with you). I mentioned before that joining Public Safety is still not really Ayumu’s own choice. This is because he’s still madly in love with Sachi, and his choice is still at least partially because of her words, although also because of all his mistakes. Also, speaking of mistakes, man does Ayumu make a whole lot of them here.

I really enjoyed seeing him get thrown into a position where he suddenly becomes startingly aware of his relatively privileged life, which also contributes to his sense of ennui btw, and become forced to question huge questions about life, death and morality. Considering all this happens in about 5 years and he presumably spent a couple years at the Police Academy before entering Public Safety, it made me realise that Ayumu learned and matured really quickly. The Ayumu we know now is so much more experienced that it was really fun seeing him basically just be a dumb kid who think he’s so great getting caught up in something bigger than he could have ever imagined. The bombing issue is Ayumu learning what being truly powerless really means. Choosing between life in IT or life in the police becomes a non-issue when he suddenly gets given a day to figure out what to do with his stolen information.

Also, can we just talk about Kaga’s kindness? You guys know how much I love Team Kaga dynamics, and I kind of love that we get to see that their dynamics are basically like this from the start, with Ayumu basically being a brat to Hyogo-san and then Kaga kind of begrudgingly adopting him and going out of his way to recruit him. We love bratty Ayumu but thinking back now, I also love how obedient he is to Kaga and how much they trust each other despite their first ever interaction being Kaga beating Ayumu in a dark alley lmaooo. But the thing that is the most telling to me about Kaga is the fact that we now know that Shinonome was involved in the deaths of Hamaguchi and co., i.e. the very thing that made Kaga choose to transfer to Public Safety. So like Goto and Soma, Kaga and Shinonome play a role in bringing each other to Public Safety. You can tell the writers consulted either a show bible or Kaga’s Ep 0 because the dialogue at the press conference is almost exactly the same in both routes haha. Anyway, Ayumu got tricked into stealing files that Naru deleted from the NPA database regarding the bomb threat case that Kaga was working on. It was Ayumu’s tip to all the reporters and Kaga that led to Kaga sending Hamaguchi and the rest of his squad to the abandoned building where they lost their lives. I mean, obviously, as Namba says, the fault lies with the terrorists (and then with NARU!!!, and of course with the higher ups who just buried the case) but Kaga knows that the case information that Shinonome helped Naru steal was crucial to this case, and yet not only does he not blame Ayumu, he actually goes out of his way to recruit him. I love how Kaga-style it is as well to say “I’m gonna have you in the end anyway. You may as well come quietly. Say yes and then think about it after.”

(This is almost a Prince Joshua level “yes or yes” proposal)

By the way, I also want to bring attention to this one moment in particular where Kaga’s expression SOFTENS when he sees Hamaguchi… Kaga cares about the people around him so much ;~~;

Anyway, I’m gonna wrap it up now because I will literally keep on going and never stop and I’m already about about 4000 words so I’m just gonna add a few more of my notes:

No wonder Namba still treats him as a kid cause he met bratty 20 year old Ayumu

By the way, how great was Namba’s advice? “Whatever you choose, I only hope that it’s to help others and not for your own amusement”

This is another defining difference between Ayumu’s (current) and Naru’s mentalities which I didn’t want to get into cause I had a slightly different focus.

I said this before but I’ll say it again: Ayumu’s parents encouraging him to follow his path and do what he wants to do even though it means that their business will no longer be a family business…. Gives me Emotions

“The shittingest”

Why did Ayumu get the nice giant dorm room that MC gets at police academy when Kaga and Ishigami had to share one room lol

And Goto and Subaru had to share a room too even when they were working detectives in Criminal Affairs

Ayumu calls Kaga yakuza no less thanTHREE TIMES lol

I know that this has been mentioned by Sachi before but this route really hit home for me that the bullying way he treats his MC is like... what he does when he’s happy?! He was so depressed and disillusioned this whole route that we got none of that behaviour and it made me really miss it

By the way, I’m like 90% certain that Suo is going to make an appearance somehow in Ayumu’s Love’s Trial route

TSUKUNO AYUMU!!!!!!!!!!

Also, I wish they gave us a little more introspection on Ayumu’s relationship with MC at the but also what a typical scene between the two of them we get to see! (Her being a dorky, clingy girl and him grousing but actually ENJOYING IT like the tsundere he is)

Do you agree/disagree with my thoughts? Let me know what you thought of, and enjoyed about, the route and my notes on it!

#ayumu shinonome #hyogo kaga #jin namba #her love in the force #hlitf #who i once was #review #voltage inc #voltage otome #otome game #otome romance #love 365 #love 365 find your story #this ended up being more than 4000 words lmao

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charlottetomsfmp2 · 3 years

Text

Dave Mckean Comic Illustration:

Arkham Asylum - A Serious House on Serious Earth:

- What about the novel drew me in?

The novel follows batman and his interactions with his archenemies within the walls of Arkham Asylum. Keeping with the theme of insanity and mayhem, the art style of the graphic novel is quite hectic and all over the place. Some panels depict overexposed illustrations of the joker in a crazed poses and others show more detailed and gruesome scenes of the villains in action causing trouble. This effect drew me to the novel because of my fascination with gritty themes in comics and the creepy characters that go along with them. I find that this is a very clever tool in linking the illustration and story together by alluding to the madness of the location, characters and their circumstances throughout the novel to keep the reader on their toes and expecting the unexpected.

Black Orchid:

- What about the novel drew me in?

There is a lot of contrast in the novel between the background and the characters. In an attempt to draw more attention to the characters and events in the novel the artist leaves less detail in the surrounding location and uses highly detailed features and bright colours across the characters face to emphasises the importance of pivotal moments in novel of important feelings the subject may have. Something about this technique is very effective and interests me as a possible concept for my final comic book draft. Personally, I think that the most important aspect of a graphic novel is the movement of the character and the effectiveness of their emotions when portrayed on paper.

Sandman:

- What about the novel drew me in?

The panel layouts are very interesting and dynamic which is something I desperately need to work on in my own comic. However, I have an issue with the piece about, as I find it far too difficult to read which is the complete opposite point of the purpose of a graphic novel or comic book. Because they are intended for easy reading, I think that although the layout looks superb from an artistic perspective, the page as a whole is far too muddled and would be complex to read if tackled by someone with reading difficulty. After looking at the novel I have determined that although the artwork and panel layout looks lovely it is far too busy. This has helped me to understand what I look for in a graphic novel and how I may approach my own book after looking at Dave McKean’s artwork.

Cages:

- What about the novel drew me in?

Cages is an interesting contrast to other illustration pieces by Dave McKean as it is drawn in black, grey and white, whereas his other comics have been in full colour. The comic follows characters living in the same apartment building and how their lives intertwine and effect one another's in unforeseeable ways. I think that this is a fun twist for McKean as he usually looks at semi-mystical themes in his graphic novels and so a more relatable story of ‘real people’ and their lives and how they mysteriously interlock and relate to the struggles of one another.

- Dave McKean art styles overall:

I found it very interesting to discover the array of art styles McKean uses in his various novels and how that are used with intention and purpose within each book. Cages is very rough and blocky because it is supposed to portray an unfiltered view into the lives of people, whereas Sandman is very detailed and mystical looking. Using dynamic panel layouts to contribute to the idea of riches, and how time interlocks with all things and his beyond any of our understanding. (the panels branch off like a wise tree, which is why I inferred the previous comments.

- How might I use this to further my work?

After looking at the outcomes of illustrator Dave McKean, I have identified elements of his artwork that I will not be including in my own comic. Dizzyingly busy panel layouts and blocky colour techniques. Looking at the illustrations made for Arkham Asylum and Black Orchid I have decided that I want for my artwork to be detailed and dynamic with small breadcrumb like clues that subtly imply elements of my characters personality and their backstory. Looking at if they are a traveler and how to hint at this without mentioning the word, are they a professional knife thrower? What elements of their costume hint at their backstory and why.

Website Links:

https://www.davemckean.com/

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secretgamergirl · 4 years

Text

How not to Write a Campaign

I have been playing RPGs for a very long time. Back in the day, I avoided any and all pre-written adventures of any sort because my limited experience with them was... just frankly terrible. Weird inconsistencies in tone, unfair encounter setups, too many assumptions about PCs’ motives and actions, etc. Then much later I discovered a group of writers who actually got it, wrote things perfectly in line with how my friends like a game to go, and we’ve been all in on those for a decade and change. But I just finished running a ROUGH one, and I want something good to come of it.

I don’t want to make this a specific review, because... I’m in the industry, I know the people who wrote this campaign, I can guess at some of the problems involved, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or reputation, so let me just refer to the offending prewritten campaign here as the Amnesia Campaign. It’s for a big fantasy RPG, it riffs of a particular author’s work, you can probably guess what it is from that, but, I’m trying.

The first problem I need to bring up with the Amnesia Campaign is that it just commits the cardinal sin of long term RPG campaign writing- The mustache-twirling villain who always manages to escape from the PCs at the last minute. I cannot convey just how important it is that you never, ever do this. The worst sort of example is when you plan around the PCs actually confronting your villain multiple times, and failing to kill them, which is a terrible idea because there really is no way to ever stack the deck and account for every contingency to make an unwinnable fight, or even one where escape is always possible, and especially if you’re publishing adventures, some number of groups will kill the villain too early, either shorting things out or forcing a handwave to keep an ineffectual villain in play and pretend they’re still a threat.

The Amnesia Campaign doesn’t quite go there. Having an actual chance to go toe to toe with the villain is reserved for the very end, but it does use another variant, where no matter what happens, the PCs arrive just after the villain they’re chasing has left. Now... there’s a way you can make that work. If you have a villain who cannot be reached in practical fashion, and can launch attacks anywhere within a huge region, you can build a whole campaign out of characters reacting to the aftermath of evil actions they could not be expected to even learn about until the villain has left the scene. Here, meanwhile, we have a villain with a big elaborate plot that requires traveling all over the world gathering things, based on research he does at the very start which the PCs can, and indeed are expected to do, quickly pick up on these research notes, and basically know everything the villain plans to do from nearly the start of a very long campaign. And... frankly, the villain has no real edge to keep him believably one step ahead. He is a mildly wealthy man hiring goons, mundane forms of transportation, and having to negotiate and fight his way through to various sub-objectives needed for his plan, and it is at least strongly implied that he doesn’t have a lot of lead time. When presented with a scenario about someone needing to be chased down and stopped, PCs can pretty reliably be counted on to constantly be rushing forward, coming up with clever ways to accomplish what they need to in less time, and cut down if not completely nullify their travel time. But, like with battles the villain somehow keeps escaping from, I am forced to continuously state to my players in running this that no, somehow even after avoiding this whole side quest by reading the mind of the person with important information, and directly teleporting to where the villain left for by riverboat, he somehow beat them there, and once again, just left. It’s frustrating, and implausible. We end up with a villain who seems overwhelmingly outmatched, but keeps succeeding because... well, he has plot armor so we’re railroading this.

Admittedly, having a good villain when writing a full campaign in advance can be tricky. The safe and tested formula is generally to start off with minions of your main villain, starting with some who don’t even know who they’re ultimately working for, gradually build up to who’s calling the shots and to what end, have a big side trip to prepare for the final confrontation not directly involving the villains, than cap it with a big showdown. If the PCs know who the main villain is from the very start and where to find them, it becomes hard to rationalize anything between. Sometimes you can pull it off if they’re leading an army or ruling a country, but even then, you want to work up a food chain to them.

A similar problem, which crops up a bit towards the end of the Amnesia Campaign, is making too many assumptions about how the PCs react, and who they befriend. In RPG writing, you need to make as few assumptions as possible about the specifics of what the PCs will do in any situation. You can count on the real broad strokes. The party will investigate the situation described in the adventure, they’ll explore the area, find the villains, fight them, win, learn something to keep the larger plot growing, but that’s it. You can’t assume they’re going to team up with this NPC, enter this room from that direction, or otherwise reenact what you’d imagine you’d do in their place, or what happened in your test play of your adventure. This is particularly important when you include a little sidequest unconnected to their primary goal, or you’re presenting an open-ended investigation.

Ideally, you just have a sensible location, have some villains in it with clear goals and personalities laid out, and you scatter around some things to enable various clever tricks if players think to try them, without mandating any of them. Mention where windows are, and chandeliers, and holes just too small for the average human to fit through, but don’t, as part of the Amnesia Campaign does, invest heavily in the assumption that the PCs will start investigating a sewer system when investigating how a cult gets around a city and go sparse on other possible clues. Also don’t waste adventure background note space on thousands of years of history at the expense of what the actual current problem in the area is and who or what is behind it.

The next problem is one that, were I the average consumer just buying this book would bother me a hell of a lot more than it does as someone who knows how the sausage gets made. Put mildly... you do not want to play a rogue in the Amnesia Campaign. Nor do you want to play a swashbuckler, a critical-hit focused character of any stripe, really any class out of the... roughly 25% of all classes who rely on knowledge of where to make a hit count the most to do the full amount of damage with their attacks, because practically everything is immune.

Now, again. I partly understand how this happens. We have several different authors writing different chapters of the campaign, simultaneously, in pretty unforgiving crunchy conditions, with just a rough outline to go off. Nobody really has a chance to confirm notes and say “hey, did your chapter totally invalidate one of the foundational character archetypes, because I was thinking of doing that and having two of those back to back would be a bit much.” And while the publisher of the Amnesia Campaign does throw out little booklets of tips for players on what sort of character concepts will/won’t work, they’re not written last, so this sort of tip is missing there too. On the other hand, it’s a huge problem within nearly any given chapter just on its own. If you’re making the call on what all monsters to include in a multi-level stretch of a campaign, you should generally avoid choosing nothing but monsters immune to one of the most common bread and butter class features. And honestly, given how the subject matter naturally lends to the deployment of a particular monster type, erring on the side of assuming everyone else is heavily deploying them wouldn’t be a bad assumption for any author to make.

This though, unlike the rest of my gripes, is ultimately a high level problem that needs a high level solution. When you’re publishing a whole campaign, and you’re doing it in a game where several foundational character concepts kinda live or die based on things like whether things are properly harmed by particular flavors of damage, or whether a decent percentage of enemies fall under a certain classification, that really shouldn’t be a double-blind. Coordinating to get all authors to use a decent spread, or include outline notes like “it’d make sense for about half the enemies in this chapter to be fire elemental themed in various ways, but keep a good variety otherwise,” and/or trying to get a rough handle on emergent themes to adjust for/warn about in player-facing pitch material. Even the best-written campaigns are prone to rude awakenings or hilarious reductions in challenge as turns out, say, going all in on cold damage does indeed pay off for the one with Fire in the title.

Meanwhile, on the other side of that coin, more or less, huge swaths of the Amnesia Campaign really just completely break down by failing to account for some basic standard issue capabilities of a typical party. Particularly the fact that past a certain point, you need to account for the fact that the PCs are almost certainly capable of flight. It’s a thing that happens. If you are really keen on writing adventures where local warlords are chilling out on the open-air rooftop patios of their otherwise heavily fortified fortresses, or melee-oriented monsters plan an ambush in a canyon in a vast wasteland, or a dangerous leapfrog between a series of elevated platforms over something dangerous, you want to make those low-level adventures, or else a typical party, possibly even accidentally, will just completely circumvent the whole thing. There is a whole lot of that in the back of the Amnesia Campaign. My group... literally skipped giant swaths. Heck, there was a whole side quest in the last book where the PCs are rewarded with the location of a giant obelisk which I had to cut because... it was in the middle of a big open outdoor space, and they flew over the city on the way in. They definitely had a view over those hedges.

This sort of dovetails into the next issue, consistently escalating threats. The whole fantasy RPG gimmick is that at level 1, you’re a helpless peasant barely capable of doing anything remarkable, and by level 20 you’re literally punching gods in the face and have more money in your pocket than everyone else in your home country combined (with the obvious exception of the other people in your party). Now, mechanically, balancing around that is a very easy math problem. Characters of level X are meant to deal with threats of level Y, either pull a Y level monster out of the book, or slap levels on something lower to bring it to that point, or spread that out over more enemies, then they drop Z amount of fancy loot. Easiest thing in the world. But you also need things to fit together thematically. You can absolutely throw fighter levels onto the local chicken-stealing goblins to make them mechanically as threatening as a demigod bursting through from another plane of reality, but when a group of characters is at a level where they can be expected to handle the former, it’s just plain weird for them to end up dealing with the latter. Like, yes, these particular goblins have 200 HP instead of the usual 4, so the local town guard can’t handle them, but that should never be true of chicken-stealing goblins. You don’t get that tough stealing chickens, and once you’ve gotten that tough, you should have your sights set a good deal higher than that. At least be stealing rocs or something.

The 4th chapter of the Amnesia Campaign is a particularly blatant example of not getting this, featuring a large number of “please be aware the party can fly at this level” moments mentioned above, and also just demanding the PCs deal with problems that really are beneath them at that point. Seeking out local guides, impressing petty local warlords, getting challenged by giants they must impress to rest safely when crossing a huge desert. These are... not appropriate speed bumps at a point in the narrative where the party is traveling to a location where they are going to literally fight a god, weakened or otherwise. The whole setup would be wonderful as the first chapter of a campaign, but that far in, it just doesn’t work. Particularly when the actual opening of the Amnesia Campaign sets the tension very high right off the bat, with extradimensional threats, shapeshifters, an evil cult, things that typically come later as things start to escalate.

This isn’t to say you can’t mix things up a little. Dealing with threats well below a party’s capabilities can be really nice as a chance to just sort of flex, and get some perspective on how much more capable they’ve grown over time, but you have to do it in a low-tension point of the narrative, and a little self-awareness about it doesn’t hurt.

Finally, while I really kinda hate modern wealth-by-level assumptions, they are baked into the design of the game, so if you’re running with it, you really need to make sure you’re really giving the players something they can use. The Amnesia Campaign really leans heavy on treasure being weird oddities that may be of value to a collector... while also being set, generally, in places so totally removed from civilization that shopping trips aren’t really practical. Much less those needing the party to really find the right sort of buyer.

Really, you want to give out entirely practical loot (really hard to do without knowing the party makeup, but variety can work), big piles of cash/sellables along with sufficiently large cities along the way for viable shopping, or raw materials suitable for crafting plus ample time to really do something with them.

Anyway, hopefully this has come across more as practical constructive advice for anyone writing a campaign, either as a printed product or just for your home game, not just me tearing into the Amnesia Campaign at length.

#rpg #game design #gm advice

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casually-inlove · 4 years

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Hello. In one of your responses, you wrote: "I also have things that I don't necessarily agree with." Can you tell us about it? I am very interested in your representation of this manhua. What do you think is written well in the story, and what is not? What would you add or remove? What is missing and what is too much in history? I would very much like to know your TianShan headcanon. I have too many "wants". I'm sorry if I was rude.

Dear anon, this was not rude at all. Indeed, you have many questions, so much as I try to be concise in my posts, this one is going to be very lengthy. Let me start with a little disclaimer. Everything below is entirely subjective. It is in no way meant to undermine anyone's enjoyment of the series, nor is it supposed to be an attack against the author. I value the comic's episodic nature and light-heartedness myself, otherwise, I would not have stuck around. It is also true that for the past half a year my interest in it waxes and wanes. Besides, I am well aware that certain groups of fans grow dissatisfied with the manhua direction. That said, I must state once again, OX has every right to write the story as they please, while the fans, no matter how displeased they may be, do not have the room to make demands of the author. So then, without further ado, some of my quibblings follow below. Beware of the wall-of-text.

1) The plot and characters get stagnant at times — these two go hand in hand. I suppose it is a prevalent gripe with 19 Days, and I am sure everyone has experienced it at least once. Some of it stems from the very way the story is told: the manhua timeline moves slowly in comparison with the readers' timeline. It works for depicting slow-burn relationships and subtle changes in the characters' outlooks. The problem is, more often than not, the latest chapters are inconsequential to either plot or character growth. They do not have the substance or the conflict to them. When OX had introduced the characters, while undoubtedly charming and loveable, they were practically walking tropes. Jian Yi, the bubbly airhead. ZZX, the stoic childhood friend. HT, Mr Popular. As time passed, OX did the clever (and the right) thing — they have subverted these stereotypes, by showing us that the characters are not who they appear to be. Thus, we learned that Jian Yi is a lonesome, affection deprived kid who on occasion dreads going back home because it's empty; his bright grin is there to hide his sadness. We also learned that HT had a dysfunctional family and had been exposed to violence since a tender age; we also learned that he used to lead an empty life devoid of close interpersonal connections and passions, etc. I am not going to write about Mo because it is obvious and self-explanatory.

That sudden change in the perspective is what made those characters fascinating. A few of these developments co-occur with the addition of the “darker” mafia/gangster subplot. Indeed, the introduction of the criminal legacy theme (which is true for Jian Yi, He Tian, and Mo to an extent) allowed to show the wounds and troubles these characters had to face. It also dangled the prospect of an intriguing plot direction — a mafia-related story that is disguised as a school-themed slice-of-life. It was the underlying gangster plot-line that hooked me up; I kept asking myself: Are they connected (the Jian family, the He family)? Were they responsible for what happened with the Mo family restaurant? Will their backgrounds converge at some point? How does Jia Yi's kidnapping fit into all this? That sort of stuff. Alas, right now that subplot seems to be put on a backburner, which is a shame because this is the plot-line that leads to future events, such as Jian Yi's disappearance. The kidnapping is still going to happen and the threat looming over Jian Yi is still real, yet OX does very little to explain anything about it. Naturally, revealing everything at once is out of the question, but if it were me, I would have opted for unveiling bits and pieces now and then. To start with, it would have propelled the plot forward. Apart from that, it would have given the readers some food for thought and kept the intrigue fresh — they would have been cracking their heads to piece the puzzle. Finally, the characters' darker backgrounds provide the opportunity to give them development. For instance, how would Mo's view of He Tian change, if he learned that the latter had to face his warped father to save Mo (ch. 245 and further on)? Or how would Mo react, if he learned that He Tian lost his mother (presumably) due to his family shady dealings? Would it make him understand the other boy, relate to him on some level? Etc.

The comedy and fun, light moments are precious, but I miss those moments when the manhua challenged my impression of the characters. Right now, the plot stagnates in the sense that we know that someone is threatening Jian Yi, but we aren't being given any clues or updates on the matter, as if the whole thing wasn't important. So, in response to your question “what would I have removed”, I would say that I would probably drop quite a few school-centric chapters in favour of “criminal” subplot. Just a bit: maybe show Mr Jian's messages, or Jian Yi's mother discussing the situation with him, or He Cheng receiving some reports on the situation.

The character recent portrayal also disappoints me on occasion. They started as stereotypical manga characters, then they were given some depth, and now they are close to becoming yet another set of stereotypes. Yeah, I get that Mo is a tsundere and enamoured He Tian is an idiot in love — OX has been depicting them as such for the past year. It would be cool to take a look at other facets of their personalities now and then too. While it’s understandable that only a few weeks have passed since the beginning of the story, OX should remember that years have passed for the readers; keeping the audience engaged should be among their priorities.

I suppose I do have a bias here because as an adult I have little interest in all things school-related, and in general, I am not too fond of slice-of-life (I typically avoid reading it).19 Days attracted me because it had some universal themes, like dealing with past and legacy, finding your path, healing from the old scars, learning to handle difficult relationships within a family, and of course its low-key “mafia” subplot. It could be that OX truly doesn't have a meticulously chapter-to-chapter thought-out plot, hence why the manhua meanders at times, or it could have something to do with Mosspaca's internal agenda. Perhaps, it is the latter and the company somehow insists its artists stick with simplistic plots for the sake of keeping their target audience. Even so, there's a catch here, which was brought to the attention by @agapaic: the original reader audience has aged up already so to keep them hooked it would be wise of OX to “mature up” the comic as well. Not in the sense of 18+ content, but in the sense of introducing more mature subjects alongside the comedy and slice of life. Perhaps, they are not looking to keep the fans but to attract the new, younger ones. Who knows.

2) Drama and comedy imbalance. It is a pet peeve of mine which I consider to be one of the prominent manhua flaws: there is lots of slapstick comedy which ends up being out of place on occasion. I do realize the comic is humorous, however, there is no denying that OX introduced themes and topics that are no laughing matters. Jian Yi's and He Tian's loneliness, bullying and ostracizing, extortion racket, absentee parents, youth gangs and violence — just to name a few. There is a lot more, but you get the picture.

It is also obvious that three out of four main characters carry the remnants of childhood trauma with them, which directly affects their present selves. All the same, these topics practically fizzle out as soon as they get introduced, or get swept under the rug with comedy. Considering the humorous nature of the comic, it is given that dispersing some grimmer topics with playfulness will be used now and then. To my mind, however, OX relies on that abrupt drama-to-comedy switch too heavily, which makes the transition steep and often out of place. At times, it creates an impression that the author does not take these issues seriously. There have been numerous episodes when emotional moments were subverted and then dropped, without gaining climax and closure. For instance, the moment that sticks out to me the most is when He Tian attempted to tell Mo why he liked him. The visuals made it clear that it wasn't easy for He Tian to say out loud, yet OX never gave the intense moment the needed closure.

Mo brushed He Tian off and the latter just rolled with it, as if it never took him any courage to say those words, and then everything was swiftly engulfed by slapstick humour (the ball-slapping scene). A panel showing a glimpse of He Tian's face sinking to indicate he was somewhat let down by Mo's nonchalant response would have been appropriate — in fact, it would be natural for someone to get hurt when their confession is taken lightly. Likewise, I half-expected OX to show a bit more of He Tian's reaction towards Mo's story about his meeting with She Li. We got to see his expression darkening when he learned that She Li gave Mo the ear piercings, yet this time — mind you, when Mo suggested that She Li might have murdered someone — we never see He Tian react much. For the record, it was He Tian who asked She Li a rhetorical question about being able to take responsibility for taking a life.

Furthermore, I believe that someone romantically invested in another human being would have naturally shown more inquisitiveness upon hearing a story like that. Sure enough, some would say that Mo would not have liked talking about a traumatizing event, and that is fine as well — just show it. A single panel of He Tian being concerned and trying to inquire further and Mo refusing to talk would have been a very neat detail that could have potentially smoothed the transition into humour, while keeping our heroes in character.

3) Sometimes there is too much focus on the couples. The manhua has introduced several reoccurring supporting characters which are directly linked to our main quartet. For example, Mo had bonds before meeting our boys: his henchmen, the Buzzcut. Likewise, He Cheng was the one to raise He Tian; he shaped the boy's outlook on life. These characters all played important roles in making our boys the people they are today, and yet we know so little of their bonds. Maybe the Buzzcut is unimportant in the larger scheme of things, He Cheng, however, is not only linked to He Tian, but he also plays a part in the underlying mafia/gangster subplot. It would have made sense if he was the one to shed some light on the situation with Jian Yi and He Tian's traumatic past. I would have loved to see our boys interact with other people as well — it would have served to show the variety of relationships out there: friendships, familial bonds, mutual respect between the leader and underlings, etc.

Anyway, I am going to stop now. I could name a few more, but this text is already more than 2000 words long. I have made some posts with my nitpicking before, so if you wish you can read them here.

link & link

Once again, this is all entirely subjective and it is not meant to be perceived as me saying that the manhua is poorly written and no one should enjoy it. Writing and creating compelling plots is a tough job, especially when it comes to long pieces. It also goes without saying that the author should keep their target audience and marketing goals in mind. 19 Days appeals to a great number of people of all ages and that means that OX succeeded in creating something compelling. Their writing is indeed flawed at times, but there is no way around it. It is impossible to excel both at being a great artist and a good writer. While there may be things that each of us would want to change (when comes to characters or the plot), it is still important to remember that it is not our creation. We can only decide whether to keep reading and enjoy what we get or move along. There is no point in attacking the author or generating constant pessimism.

#19 days #long post #that...was a tiresome writing #Anonymous #q&a time

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silvysartfulness · 4 years

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Writer meta asks: 3, 19, 20

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

I already answered this one in another post - there’s no special such scene; if I want to write just a standalone scene I’ll do it as a one-shot and imply context and set-up in-writing. But there are scenes I look forward to writing; for the Roadtrip, a lot will go down and shift perspectives all around in the arc I mentally call the Mountains of Mist arc. That’s definitely a bit I have high hopes for!

... Technically the scene I’m supposed to be writing right now has also long been one of the “oh yeah, I’m really looking forward to this one!” bits, except now that I’m actually about to write it, I’m finding myself a bit frozen. Hopefully I’ll be able to push through this block and make it as good as I previously envisioned it...

Oh, no wait! To be honest - there are a few scenes I haven’t managed to find a good place for in the Roadtrip timeline yet, but have been very entertained by in headcanons, and that’s a fair number of WWX and XY interaction scenes!

I don’t know if I’ll manage to work things out enough in the story to make any of that fit, but I have a vivid image of WWX and XY literally bumping into each other at the market street of a random town while departing a liquor stall and candy stall respectively. XY is delighted by the chance meeting and toothily compliments WWX’s reflexes in catching the falling bottles, WWX is mostly “wtf how are you still not dead??” about things. If I can get the timeline to allow for it, it’s a scene I’d still love to write, but we’ll see.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

Ahaha. I suspect if you do a word count in my writing, you’ll see the word “pain” repeated at somewhat alarming frequency?

I like to describe body language, especially what people are doing with their hands. And eyes, I pay a lot of attention to eyes.

As for tropes, just stamp me with the “redemption arc” stamp and move on. I love, more than anything, characters who have to face their mistakes and go through a painstaking journey of sorting messes out, setting things right. Sometimes willfully, out of a genuine desire to make things better. Sometimes reluctantly or even trying not to, only sullenly agreeing in the end for one well-founded reason or another.

I love to write messy characters, greyscales, heart wrenching situations where both sides are equally wrong and right. Am also absolute sucker for “hard, cold-hearted character, absolutely coming apart at gestures of care and kindness”. That gets me every single time.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Uh-oh. You've done it now. I'll place the rest under a cut, because I can and will talk about this at length.

I already wrote in a previous post about the layers of meaning in my chapter titles, so I'll leave that aside for now.

I love using symbolism and allegories in my writing. There are some obvious ones at first glance – I often refer to Xiao Xingchen as the moon himself, especially from Xue Yang’s point of view (the moon has been one of the few proxies for Xiao Xingchen he’s had for a long time) His inner light, something with beauty and integrity but also phases of both light and dark and the ability to shift inbetweeen, unreadable. The same way I will often use ice and frost to describe Song Lan - ”he realized with frostbite clarity” is a sentence I remember that I liked writing for him.

Xue Yang isn't as clear cut; his themes shifts depending on the pov character – Song Lan thinks of him as serpent-like, and there's a wolf-theme coming up as well. But my main subtle motif for Xue Yang in this story is the tiger. Drawn partly from the obvious angle of him being able to create a Yin Tiger Amulet of his own, as well as wearing clothing with a leopard-spot like pattern in Yi City, and finally Wei Wuxian's comment of ”releasing the tiger back to the mountain” when learning Xue Yang escaped punishment for the Chang massacre. In Chinese animal symbolism, the tiger is the king of beasts, something very powerful and clever, but also unreliable, prone to lash out.

In one of the first chapters, Xue Yang is described as being ”bound with enough ropes and knots to subdue a tiger” and there are many references to the Yin Tiger Amulet throughout. I drew him and Song Lan as shishi statues in the illustration for chapter 7, feline guardians of the dead that can be interpreted as lions but also tigers. So that's a semi-secret theme. :)

Another layer of symbolism is the Daoist philosophy sprinkled throughout. Sometimes directly, through outright quotes, but often more subtly in how Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan relate to the world and other people.

”Take action by letting things take their course, he reminded himself. The more he hurried, the longer it would take to get where he was going. He could be patient. Would be.”

”He smiled again, grateful for the understanding, for the simplicity, patience, compassion.”

“An empty patch on the ground,” he signed. “We'll make the future a spot where nothing is yet growing.” “An empty spot, where the Universe may plant a seed,” he finished. Song Lan nodded, made the softest hum of agreement.

“Now, now - haven't you heard, Song-daozhang?” he giggled, unsteadily, hauled along in unceremonious jerks. “Treat those who are kind with kindness, but also treat those who are not kind with kindness, only thus is kindness obtaine-... ow.” ← Xue Yang is not above throwing their teachings in their faces for his own benefit, either.

Another thing I enjoy writing is how Xiao Xingchen will very easily fall into familiarity with both Song Lan and Xue Yang when he interacts with them, but they're two very different kinds of familiarity, and he's often not at all aware himself that he's doing it. (They are. Especially the party not currently being interacted with, glaring daggers at the other.) He often just... assumes they'll do a certain thing, and they'll automatically find themselves doing it.

They are both utterly dedicated to him, though they may not realize it themselves, and he certainly doesn't. He doesn't want to take anything for granted with Song Lan, and he doesn't dare trust Xue Yang, but in the little moments of thoughtlessness, they'll just accidentally fall into old familiar roles of attachment, and then blink awake, surprised and disturbed at the ease of it. ♥

I also find it delightful how Xue Yang absolutely despises Song Lan, but is still ready and willing to rope him into herding Xiao Xingchen when necessary - and Song Lan will grudgingly follow his lead, to a point. They may not like it, but they do have a goal in common in keeping their person safe.

There is a certain point to the fact that Xue Yang mostly only mentally refers to a-Qing as ”the girl” in his mind. Nothing quite as strong as actual remorse, but it's a slightly chafing subject he does avoid thinking about. She wasn't supposed to die - hurt, yes, be punished for her perceived part in the destruction of their happy home, but not die - and now that Xiao Xingchen is back, it is odd, at times, that she isn't there as well.

Finally - have some teasers for future written chapters! The apples of the merchant in Tanzhou will make a reappearance, as will the beggar girl by the gate. Xue Yang will write Song Lan a heartfelt poem in an upcoming chapter. Song Lan is made to promise to write a couple of old ladies letters. Xiao Xingchen performs emotional manipulation so badly it offers the other two an unexpected moment of bonding. Xue Yang slips and does an unprompted Good Deed and instantly regrets it. (it does help when Xiao Xingchen smiles at him.)

There are more themes of foreshadowing in there, but I also don't want to spoil things, so I'l leave it at this for now.

As always, if anyone has any specific questions about the Roadtrip, please feel free to ask! I may evade if it's spoilery, but 99.9% of the time, I'll happily flail for hours about this story – and it helps keeping me inspired and writing, too! ♥♥♥

#asksilvy #the happy songxuexiao roadtrip story #untamed artfulness #nagisachan1

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bangtan-et-al · 4 years

Text

somnium finis 02.

—word count: 4,557

—prologue: A plane sinks into the Pacific Ocean, leaving the world mourning the loss of the 118 passengers on board. Seven of those passengers being the members of the famous K-pop band BTS. At least, that’s how it seems.

—genres: Idol AU, Mystery, Psychological

—contains: Themes of fluff, angst, smut, depression, and anxiety. Mentions of divorce and the use of strong language such as name calling and cussing.

—chapter: 01. 02.

—note: Guys, I got so many notes on the last chapter in so little time! For someone starting off, every like, reblog, comment, and follow means so much to me. I rushed to get this next chapter out to keep the momentum going! Enjoy!

…

A long silence hung over everyone. Jeongguk was the first to speak.

“So… we’re dead? Is this like the afterlife?” He stared at his hyungs.

Jimin nervously ran his fingers through his hair. “No, this isn’t right. There’s no way we’re dead. We can still feel pain, these bodies are physical!”

You were scrolling through your phone, looking at all the articles you could find on the crash. You tried commenting or messaging, but nothing would go through. You thought it was odd, seeing as you could use Google just fine.

“Guys, this isn’t the afterlife. Don’t be stupid,” Yoongi piped up. “I think it’s all a cover up story.”

“A cover up for what, kidnapping us? What’s the point? Wouldn’t the main reason for it be to get a ransom? You can’t ransom someone who’s dead.” Hoseok reasoned.

Namjoon had his eyebrows furrowed together, deep in thought. The other boys kept going back and forth, some speaking with panic, others trying to speak reason.

You had visited your mother’s Facebook page and found she had made a post about the plans for your funeral. Friends and family were commenting underneath. There was post after post about you, and the life you lived. Pictures from your childhood and group photos with friends taken only weeks ago. Your heart was breaking. What tipped you over was Appa’s long post he made talking about all the memories from over the years. He translated it to English too, so everyone could read it.

‘Dear daughter, your time was cut too short… My greatest love… In all the years…’ It went on and on. It was all the things he said or didn’t say to you, and all the love he had for you. You mother wouldn’t even bother writing such a post.

You didn’t realize, but tears were falling down your cheeks silently.

Taehyung was the first to notice. “____-ssi?”

This was all too much to process right now. The emotions were overwhelming, and being with BTS was not helping. You stood up and ran back to the bedroom you had woken up in.

“____-ssi!” Namjoon called for you, but none of them chased after you. Why would they? You weren’t their first priority. They didn’t trust you. They had to protect each other and stick together because that’s who they were. BTS had each other and they were inseparable.

That just made you feel even lonelier.

The people who loved you thought you were dead. The seven people you’ve looked up to saw you as a potential threat. You were trapped in an unknown place, for a reason you didn’t know, or how you even got there.

You slammed the door and slowly fell against it, sinking to the floor. Your breathing quickened and your chest felt tight. You started shaking uncontrollably. You’d never had a panic attack before, so you weren’t really sure how to handle it. You just stayed right there, curled into yourself, waiting for your lungs to work again.

‘I’m completely alone.’

…

“I don’t trust her, she could’ve been put in here to observe us, or turn us against each other or something.” The usual optimistic Hoseok was the one being the most pessimistic towards you. Had this been any other situation, he would’ve been the first to stand up for you.

But now his brothers’ lives were on the line, and they came first.

Taehyung shook his head. “She’s just as scared, if not more scared than us. She’s alone, we aren’t. Who knows, what if we’re the reason she’s here? What if she got caught up in something because she was on the same plane?”

“I see where you are both coming from, but it’s unwise to push her away or trust her just yet. We need a game plan.” Namjoon was trying his best to keep everyone at peace, a task proving to be very difficult.

Seokjin was in the kitchen rummaging around to see what all was available. “It’s fully stocked. None of the packaging has been opened on the food either, it’s all sealed. I’d eat this sooner than I’d eat the hamburger.”

Jeongguk paced a small line in the floor. Yoongi and Namjoon were trying to figure out an escape plan. Hoseok sat on the couch chewing a hole in his thumb. Jimin was exploring the space, looking for possible exits or clues.

Taehyung stared back at the hallway you had ran down. The others were probably right, he shouldn’t get too close, he shouldn’t be putting himself in your shoes, he shouldn’t be replaying your crying face in his head, but he couldn’t help it.

He stood and left the others to find you.

“Tae, don’t! We need to stick together!” Jimin called out for him. When he didn’t listen, he followed behind him. He wasn’t going to let his friend make a stupid decision.

At least not without him.

Taehyung tried the door you came out of first. He knocked on it. “…____-ssi? Are you in there?” From just behind door he could hear quiet, short breaths. “I’m coming in.” He tried opening the door, but it only opened a crack before it stopped on something solid.

He realized you were sitting on the floor crying to yourself. Jimin caught up to him and grabbed his arm. “Don’t just storm off like that-”

“Shh, not now.” After Taehyung hushed him, the sounds of your sobs reached him. It pulled at his heart strings, and he felt himself soften up a little.

“We’re here for you. Do you want to talk about it?” Jimin asked. He was beginning to see things from Taehyung’s side.

You moved over a bit so they would be able to open the door. Taehyung slowly opened it and then sat down next to you. Jimin stepped into the room, and sat on the other side of you. You had regained control of your breathing before they came, but you were a crying mess, surely looking horrible in front of two of the most beautiful men you’d seen in your life. Today couldn’t get any worse.

“…how old are you?” Taehyung questioned, trying to get conversation going and maybe get your mind off of what was happening.

You sniffed. “I-in Korean years I’m 23… 1997.”

“So the same age as JK, we’re both 25. I’m not sure how much you know about us, but we’re good people. Everyone is just scared right now, I promise they aren’t as mean as they seem.” Taehyung reassured you.

Jimin was hesitant to talk, but seeing your shivering form opened him up a little. “We’ll figure this out. Whatever is happening, we’ll get through it. Joon-hyung and Yoongi-hyung are really smart. Jin-hyung is resourceful. Hobi-hyung is clever. The rest of us are younger, but we’ll still do our best.” He was comforting you as much as he was himself. He wasn’t sure of much, but if there was one thing he knew he could be sure in, it was the other members.

“Yeah! So don’t worry, we’ll get out of here.” Taehyung hesitantly put his hand on your shoulder. “You’re American right? I don’t know if you take comfort in these things, but you can call me Oppa if you want.”

Your eyes widened but then you offered him a small smile. “Are you comfortable with that? We only just met.”

“Of course it’s okay. You can call Jimin Oppa too.” He nudged Jimin to agree with him.

Jimin was a little reluctant, but gave in easily. “S-sure. Why not? Could we call you ____-ah?”

You nodded. They were going out of their way to comfort and befriend you, even in these circumstances. They really were the people you knew they were. “I’m sorry for running away, I’m just overwhelmed right now. I was looking at my family’s posts about my death, it was just too much. ” You opened up. You were still teary eyed, but not the blubbering mess from earlier.

“You don’t need to apologize. If anyone gets what you’re going through right now, it’s us. We’re in this together.” Taehyung finished and offered you a smile. His big, boxy smile that you had only seen in pictures until this point. It was even more enchanting in person.

Jimin held out his hand to you. “Come, let’s go join the others, okay? We’ll stand up for you in there.” He looked you in your eyes, and tried to show as much sincerity as he could muster.

You blushed a little when you took his hand and stood up with him. You couldn’t help but notice his hands were so tiny that they were about the same size as your’s. Taehyung stood up with the two of you as well, and they walked you back to the main room. Namjoon looked at your tear-stained face apologetically. Yoongi and Hoseok still looked at you apprehensively. Jeongguk was nervous around you, so he couldn’t even bring himself to look you in the eyes.

Seokjin called over to you from the kitchen. “____-ssi, want to help me cook something? I’m sure you’re getting hungry too.” He smiled and waved you over. You were hesitant to go over and squeezed the hand you were holding. Hand you were holding…

You were still holding Jimin’s hand.

You let go quickly. “Sorry!”

He shook his head and smiled. “It’s okay.”

You went over to Seokjin quickly to avoid anymore awkwardness with Jimin. “How can I help, Seokjin-ssi?”

“Are you handy with a kitchen knife? I need some vegetables cut.” He asked simply.

Hoseok’s head snapped over to the two of you. “We are not giving her a knife!”

“Namjoon is more dangerous with a knife than she is.” Seokjin snapped back.

“Hey! That’s true, but you don’t have to bring it up!” Namjoon crossed his arms in defense.

Hoseok scoffed. “I can’t believe you guys.”

Hoseok’s attitude was quite off putting. He was usually such a ray of sunshine. You rarely ever saw him get angry, no matter the reason. Sure, they had every reason not to trust you, but you least expected him to be the most aggressive.

You and Seokjin worked quickly. He had you prepping the vegetables for the stir fry while he cooked rice and prepared the beef. “You know what you are doing. Did your mom teach you?”

“My mom doesn’t like to cook much, but my dad taught me how to make all kinds of Korean dishes. When he would come visit, cooking was one of our favorite things to do.” You smiled at the memory.

“See guys? The kitchen is the best place to bond! But will anyone come help me cook? Nope!” Seokjin addresses the others in his whiny voice.

“We don’t want to bond with you Jin-hyung.” Jeongguk smirked a little as he teased him. As their banter went back and forth you realized Seokjin was trying to lighten the mood. Everyone was so stressed, but now even the nervously pacing Jeongguk was smiling and teasing his Hyung. You also realized that he wanted to break the ice with you, and make you feel more comfortable in a natural way. You never saw him as the oldest, but in the most subtle way, it showed.

You finished up and everyone moved to the table to eat. An awkward silence fell over everyone. It had been hours and hours, and none of you were any closer to figuring out how to get out of there. Taehyung, who was sitting next to you, nudged your arm and whispered. “Doesn’t Gukkie look like a rabbit when he eats?”

“You know I can hear you.” Jeongguk glared up.

Taehyung smirked a shit eating grin. “Good.”

Yoongi straightened in his chair. “Rather than play, we should be working on a plan.”

“Yoongi-yah, they’re just trying to lighten the mood. Maybe you should lighten up too.” Seokjin soothed.

“Fine, let’s all just skip around the prison and play house while the entire world mourns our deaths!” Yoongi threw his napkin on the table. “You can’t expect me to act like everything is fine and normal when it’s not.”

Taehyung’s face darkened. “…you’re right Yoongi-hyung. It’s not normal. Here we are sitting helplessly with no way of contacting to outside world, and no hope of getting out of here anytime soon. We don’t know what they are going to do to us, we could be waiting to die.” Everyone stared at him, shocked by his sudden mood shift. No one spoke as everyone started thinking about the worst outcome in all of this.

“But, I don’t want to waste my last moments in despair about our situation, and I want to hope for a tomorrow.” The sudden maturity he was speaking with was so unlike the happy go lucky Taehyung who was trying to befriend you. Then it made sense. From the beginning he chose to be positive about this. To be positive about you.

Namjoon nodded in agreement. “I couldn’t have said it better. Everyone else with Taehyung?”

“I am.” You agreed.

Jimin smiled and patted Taehyung’s back. “Always.”

Jeongguk and Seokjin nodded with smiles. Then everyone looked to Hoseok and Yoongi. Yoongi sighed and paused. Then he nodded lightly. “You’re right.”

“I can’t disagree with that.” Hoseok smiled for the first time since waking up in there. It was relieving to say the least.

“Good. Okay, so here’s the plan. Let’s find out just how much that request screen can do. How far are its limits? Then, everyone get a regular night’s sleep, and we’ll attack tomorrow when it comes.” Namjoon laid out the plan now that everyone was rallied.

Taehyung had finished eating, so he got up and went over to the screen first. “I know what I’m asking it for!” He typed in 'xbox one x’. After a moment, the voice chimed.

“Request granted.” And then a brand-new Xbox One X came out of the slot, still in it’s packaging. Jeongguk jumped to his feet and ran over.

“No way! Try requesting something really expensive, I wonder if there is a limit.”

Everyone was finishing their food as fast as possible to join them, all in awe of the mysterious screen.

You walked over, an obscure idea in your head. You reached up and typed out 'dance studio’.

Taehyung looked at you confused. “____-ah, I don’t think it works like that-” he was cut off by the sound of machines whirling. The sound was coming from the other side of the wall near the kitchen.

After a few moments, the wall opened up, revealing a new hallway. Everyone ran to see what had changed. The hallway abruptly ended, but had a door on the left side. You opened the door, and were taken aback. There before you was a real dance studio. Mirrors, and even a sound system to play music on.

“How is this possible?” Hoseok marvelled.

You had a thought. “It might have already been here. We just needed to request for it to be opened up.”

Yoongi was already back at the screen. He typed in 'exit’.

“Request denied.”

“Maybe try requesting a weapon or something for self-defense.�� Hoseok offered.

“That could be more dangerous than it’s worth. And we wouldn’t have the element of surprise either.” Yoongi pointedly looked at the leader, the oldest, and the maknae line.

“We could just have Yoongi-ssi hold onto it. He’s the best candidate.” You stated. Yoongi stared at you with a look you couldn’t quite decipher.

He nodded. “Everyone agree?” There were no objections, so Yoongi punched in 'gun’.

“Request denied.”

'Taser.’

“Request denied”

'Bat.’

“Request accepted.” A baseball bat rolled out of the slot. Yoongi picked it up and noted it was solid wood.

“Okay, no pissing off Yoongi-hyung.” Jimin half joked as Yoongi swung it a few times to test its weight. He rested it on his shoulder and stepped aside gesturing someone else to request something.

Seokjin walked over and typed in, “Emergency kit.”

“Request accepted.”

A first aid kit with special trauma gear pushing out of the slot. “Just in case. We need to be ready if something happens.”

Everyone continued requesting items. Some useful like food and emergency supplied, but mostly things to fill their rooms like clothes, desks, PCs, and toiletries. Everyone explored the place more and found each of the eight bedroom were exactly the same. They each had a bed, closet, and their own bathroom with a sink, toilet, bathtub, and shower.

Soon, night had fallen, not that you could see it, but it was reflected by the time on everyone’s phone screens. It was still in the last time zone you had been in for LA. You all noted it might be helpful for deciphering your location later, but for now, everyone went to bed.

Instead of everyone going to their own room, most of them opted for sleep with each other. Jimin and Hoseok, Taehyung and Jeongguk, Yoongi and Seokjin, the only one who chose to be alone was Namjoon. He said he had a lot to think about, and needed space. You would’ve preferred not being alone, but sleeping with hot men was a big no. You didn’t need to add sexual tension to your list of things to worry about.

The hours rolled by, but you weren’t able to get any sleep. Your mind was racing and spiraling on useless worries. When 1 am came around, you got sick of just lying in bed, so you put on your leggings, a t-shirt, and left the bedroom. You walked around the fancy living space and found yourself wandering into the practice room. It was so dark, but you didn’t want to turn on the main lights, you might ruin your chances of sleeping completely. Instead, you found the room had mood lighting, and turned it on instead. It kept the room dim, but light enough to see. You figured it was for setting the mood of a dance.

Dancing. That might tire you out enough to sleep. You thought about dancing one of the many BTS choreos you had learned, but seeing as you were trying to hide that fact you were a fan, that might not be wise. Instead you put on Dancing in the Dark by Joji. You needed to vent everything.

When you were younger, your mother had put you in so many different classes. Hoping to keep you time occupied enough as to have another excuse why you couldn’t see your dad. Piano lessons, cello lessons, singing lessons, etiquette lessons, ballroom dancing, contemporary dancing, math tutors, english tutors, the list went on and on. As weighed down as you were back then, one of the things that helped you vent your frustrations was music. Singing it, playing it, writing it, dancing to it. It filled a hallow place in your soul.

The song started to move you. You flowed with it, a mixture of controlled movements and fluid ones. As the words alined with your thoughts and feelings, your face contorted with emotion. You were wrapped up in it, you didn’t even open your eyes, knowing the likely hood of you knocking into something was low in the gigantic practice room.

You didn’t notice there was a pair of eyes on you.

Jimin watched from the door, stayed back as to hide in the shadows. He couldn’t sleep. He needed to get up and clear his head a little.

He saw he wasn’t the only one.

Jimin was entranced by you. You were obviously a trained dancer. You jumped, rolled, and spun around with practiced ease. It reminded him of his highschool days when he practiced contemporary dance. He caught a glimpse of your face. Eyebrows laced together and lips slightly parted as you breathed in sync with your dancing. How could that be faked? You were under the assumption of being alone.

He knew right then and there you were genuine. Admittedly, his kindness had been faked until this moment. To him, the safety of the others came first. His members were his brothers, his chosen family. They meant the world to him. He wouldn’t put anything before then, not even himself. Not even you.

And yet, he found himself thinking he wanted you to be a part of that too.

The song changed. Idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish started playing.

You embraced the notes with every turn and shape.

'Beautiful.’ He thought. He was torn between leaving you and joining you, but settled on the latter.

“I didn’t know you could dance.” Jimin stated as he walked over.

You stopped immediately and paused the music. How long had he been watching? The Park Jimin, professional dancer just saw you dance. You might die of embarrassment.

“Ah, Jimin-ssi! I didn’t know you were watching.” You blurted out.

He shook his head. “Not 'Jimin-ssi’. Call me Oppa. You can relax around me, you know? I don’t bite.”

With the look he was giving you, you begged to differ. He was wearing skin tight jeans, and a baggy sweater. He didn’t have any shoes on, and his almost jaw length hair was pulled into a ponytail in the back similarly to how you had seen it in the Black Swan dance practice. A playful smirk pulled at his lips, and one hand was resting on his hips. Jimin was looking like sin itself, but in the softest way possible. You expected no less of the idol.

You dodged his correction with your own statement. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I might try to tire myself out. Please don’t mistake my flailing around for dancing.”

He laughed at that. “Flailing? That was anything but. You’re obviously a trained dancer, give yourself more credit. You’re really good. I was actually wondering if I could join you.”

“I-I don’t know about that… I was just about to go to bed…”

“You look wide awake though. I can’t sleep either. Wouldn’t you keep me company?” He tilted his head and placed a pout on his lips. Surely there was some rule that stated that was cheating.

You gave in. “Alright, but I’m sure I’m no where near your level.”

“Hey, that don’t matter. I’m not the greatest dancer-”

“Lies.” You cut him off before he could finish.

He giggled, or was that angels singing? “It’s true! There’s tons better than me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still enough it. You obviously enjoy it, don’t let me stop you. I’d rather dance with someone who can feel the music like you over a trained robotic dancer any day.”

You blushed at his words and some of your self-consciousness melted away at his kind words.

“I wanna teach you one of my dances. Have you heard Promise? It’s my single.” He pulled out his phone and typed it in.

“No, I haven’t.” You lied.

“I choreographed it for fun, but I won’t ever perform it. It’s not hard, you’ll pick it up really easy.” He played the song, and you held in the urge to sing along. “It starts off with you standing sideways. One leg relaxed behind you, and all you weight on the other. Your arms are outstretched in front of you and crossed at the wrists with palms facing up. Lean back without shifting your weight and look up.” He instructed you with such precision, it was easy to follow along.

As you reached the chorus, there was a quick, fluid motion with your legs you could quite copy. “Almost but you need to lean back. Your body shouldn’t be aligned.”

You shifted. “Like this?”

He walked over and put his hands on your upper arms and pulled you back gently. “Think about leading the motion with your arms, rather than your body.” The shift had you looking up at him while he stood behind you. Everyone always teased his height, but your 5'3 standing next to his 5'8 had him nearly towering over you in this position. You moved through the rest of the motion just to break the stare.

“Perfect! Just like that.” He was impressed with how quick of a learner you were. You had a high attention to detail, just like he did, so within the hour the two of you were already doing run throughs.

By 2:30 am, you were both sitting on the floor panting a little as you took a break.

“I should be tired, but I haven’t danced like this for a little while, it just makes me want to do more.” You admitted.

He nodded. “I get that. It’s not often I dance what I want to dance. Most of the time it’s over practiced choreography that is very taxing to do. Concert after concert, it gets to where it’s not challenging, and you’re ready to move onto the next thing, you know?”

“That’s what dance class was like. Always doing the same thing. Dancing for the next competition. After 10 years of it, I just quit. Not because I didn’t love it, but because I wanted to dance what I loved, what I wanted to do. I was also 14, and starting high school, so I was ready for something new.” You found it was so easy talking to him. Your thoughts came out so easily.

He looked you in the eyes as you spoke and listened attentively to your every word. “You’re half Korean, did you ever think of becoming a trainee?”

You shook your head. “I was very Americanized. My possessive mother wouldn’t let me go visit my dad, and refused to let him teach me Korean. I only started learning it by the end of my senior year of high school. Though, if things were different, I think I would have. I had everything I needed for it. Singing lessons, dance lessons, and I had a passion for it. Still do.”

“Well, you have the training, it’s not too late. If… When we get of of here, you should pursue it. It’s too late to get into a group probably, but you could make a really good solo artist. You’re a halfie too, that’s really attractive in Korea, you’d do well.”

“You really think so?” You perked up. You didn’t really have a career in mind, since college was about reclaiming a part of yourself rather than the degree. You love music, doing it for a living sounded like a dream.

He smiled at your reaction. “Of course! You even have a foot in the door now. You’re friends with Jimin of BTS.”

A warmth spread in your chest. All the loneliness from earlier that day was gone. Jimin made you feel like you finally had a true ally. “Thank you… That really means so much to me.” You giggled. He laughed lightly at the sound. You both just sat there, stupidly laughing an giggling for no reason. You both needed it.

“Haha! What- what are we doing?” You managed to get out

“I- haha! I don’t know! You started it.” He hit you playfully. “I’ll stop if you stop!”

“I can’t!”

By the end of it you both were lying on your backs, looking up at the ceiling while shoulder to shoulder. The giggles dissolved into the dim practice room as the two of you drifted off to sleep.

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danyka-fendyr · 5 years

Text

Unknown Subject

Yes this one is named after an episode of Criminal Minds. Sue me. (Please don’t though CBS you would not have much of a case but I don’t have the money for it even if you tried). Anway, this was a request from the lovely @lettersofwrittencollective and should I be writing other things? Yes. But hey! I got inspired, okay?

Summary: Spencer finds himself falling for the mind of an unsub as the team tries to navigate their way through a tricky series of puzzles, but...are things what they seem?

Warnings: Generally disturbing themes of violent death. The usual Criminal Minds murder stuff. Also, I’m giving the reader a brother, so if you don’t have one...just pretend you do. Y/B/N is Your Brother’s Name. Also, the reader is in their mid-twenties for plot purposes.

Wordcount: I could have counted the words in this fic but instead I got distracted staring at Spencer Reid’s beautiful hair. Like...who is his stylist? I need to know for science and also because I’m considering a haircut.

“Well this is interesting,” Rossi grumbled, examining the body lying cold on the table.

“The kill was fairly efficient, but inexperienced as you can see,” the ME said. “The victim was poisoned, but judging by the blood samples we have, it was clumsier than intended. We’re guessing this was a first kill, since no experienced poisoner would use a mix like this.”

“So the swelling on the face and the purple coloring are a result of that?” Spencer leaned in closer.

“That would be exactly right. The victim actually asphyxiated from other problems caused by these chemicals before the poison could reach his heart. It should also be noted that it doesn’t take much to get these ingredients. Most of them can be found commonly around the house. Take bleach, for example.”

“How did the unsub force the victims to take poison like that? It can’t have been administered orally,” Rossi said.

The ME shook her head. “It wasn’t. Interestingly, it seems the unsub injected it through the victim’s nose, like one might with a nasal clearing device, the kind you would normally put saltwater in. It would appear that the victim’s mouth was taped shut, and if the killer plugged their nostrils, they would have had no choice but to swallow.”

“It would have been a reflex,” Rossi said.

“Exactly. We can see this in the chemical burning in the nostrils as well as the mouth. Additionally, it appears the victims were all lured from well-populated places, then drugged and taken somewhere more remote.”

“What could convince these men to follow someone out of a party though?”

Reid was leaning in closer to the body. He spoke into the brief silence. “What is that? In the throat there?”

The ME reached for her tools, fishing in the victim’s throat until she found...a note.

“Something borrowed and something blue

Only he can save me from you

Where men fall to their knees and wind chimes don’t sing

When you are ready, give me a ring.”

Rossi recited the poem aloud.

“Well call me crazy, but it sounds like this unsub wants to get married,” Jennifer said.

“Yes, but look at this,” Reid said, pointing to the second verse. “‘Only he can save me from you’. What does that mean? It almost sounds like it was written from the perspective of the victim...But then who is he?”

“Maybe the unsub imagines all of these men to be unworthy suitors. I think, given the victimology and this message, we can safely conclude that this unsub is a woman. We know that she’s kidnapped multiple men all with roughly the same physical appearance between the ages of 20-30, and we know that the kills have been clean and efficient with no signs of sexual sadism or torture. Maybe ‘he’ is the one true love who will save her from all of these other ‘lesser’ men,” Hotch suggested.

“Maybe, but something about it doesn’t quite add up. If we know she’s holding multiple men hostage, then why the specific usage of ‘you’? Why send this message to us, the FBI, to find? In fact, if it’s meant for some white knight, why leave it with the body at all? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Yeah. What about this line with the wind chimes here? What does that mean?” Morgan pointed it out on the board where Reid had copied the message over.

“It would appear to be a clue to the unsub’s location,” Rossi said.

“This lady has got to get better at her clues,” Garcia said from where she was on speakerphone.

“Garcia, can you look up levels of low wind activity in the city and neighboring towns? This unsub has a pretty clear comfort zone, so this might narrow it down some, assuming that ‘where wind chimes don’t sing’ is a specific reference to geographical location.” Reid spoke.

The sheriff of the town poked his head in. “There’s been another body found.”

“Well, our unsub is definitely getting bolder,” Morgan observed.

This body had been left out in a park, in contrast to the carefully hidden body that had washed up on the riverbank before.

“Check for a message in the throat,” Reid suggested.

Sure enough, there was another one.

“I hope that you can understand

Know that this was not my hand

All the cards are on the table, but who signed the deed

Can you solve the riddle, Dr. Reid?”

“Oh that ain’t good,” Morgan said.

“So it’s a riddle for Reid?” Hotch questioned.

“It would certainly seem that way,” Morgan said.

“Listen to this, ‘know that this was not my hand’. That almost sounds like the unsub is saying she didn’t do it.”

“Well it seems pretty clear to me that she uh..did,” JJ pointed out. “Y’know, seeing as she’s leaving notes in corpses. Plus, look at the line about all the cards being on the table. Maybe she’s saying it wasn’t her hand of cards.”

“Even if you’re right, though, that still implies a claim of innocence. Like the unsub is deflecting blame,” Rossi said.

Reid set down his coffee cup on a map, and Blake moved it so that it wouldn’t leave a stain.

“I just got the toxicology report from the lab. It looks like the same chemicals as before were used, just a more refined combo. You guys...I think we need to look at the very real possibility that we might be dealing with a younger unsub here. Maybe even a minor. If you combine the fact that her victims are mostly in their early to mid-twenties with what we know about her poison of choice...these are all common household cleaners. Something you could snag while your Mom wasn’t looking.”

Reid shook his head. “The text doesn’t match up with that theory though. Both notes are written from an almost poetic standpoint as if whoever wrote them comes from an educated background. Someone with this kind of literary prowess would have to either be very well-read or much older than you’re suggesting, likely both. Look at the rhyming patterns and the choice of words. This kind of messaging system, this kind of crime is simply too organized for a teenaged girl to pull off.”

“Wait...you guys.” JJ stood, crossing to the board that still had the first message sprawled across it for comparison. “Remember who we couldn’t figure out who ‘you’ could be? What if we’re dealing with multiple unsubs here?”

Rossi’s eyes lit up with understanding. “And one of them wants out.”

“Likely the submissive one,” Hotch said, latching onto the theory. “If we assume that the line about this not being her hand is a claim of innocence than it’s entirely possible that the dominant one roped her into this against her will somehow. It could be that the submissive one is the one luring these men away from the clubs and bars most of them disappeared from and drugged them, but it’s the dominant one doing all the killing.”

Spencer stood from the table, crossing to the board. “But by that logic, we’re assuming the older party is the submissive one, which almost never happens.”

“The unsub could have leverage against her,” JJ suggested. “Garcia, look up all missing men that fit the age parameters and type of this unsub, and then check to see if they have sisters, mothers or even aunts that have also gone missing recently.”

“On it!”

It wasn’t long before Garcia had an answer for them, with a search that specific.

“Bingo! Your hunch was right, my clever crime-solving friends. Y/B/N and Y/N Y/L/N both went missing when they went on a road trip together two weeks ago.”

“That’s right when the kidnappings started. Garcia, is it possible that Y/B/N was the dominant unsub’s first victim?” Reid asked.

“Oh, definitely little Einstein, but not for the reason you’re thinking. It was actually the sister who filed complaints of a stalker with local police. They assumed that the stalker nabbed the two and that at this point, they were probably long dead.”

“Was a suspect ever identified for the stalker?” Morgan asked.

“You know there was, lover. And you’re never going to believe this, but the suspect was, in fact, a teenage girl. Joanna Bridges, 18 years old, still in her senior year of high school. Apparently, Y/N was something of a friend to the girl. Reportedly Joanna was a bit of a loner, and Y/N, a senior, took pity on her lower classman. That all changed though when she went off to college.

“Joanna brought a whole new meaning to separation anxiety and things got real nasty real fast. As one would suspect, fights ensued, the friendship fell apart, and then for the next four years our dear Y/N thought no more about it. Flash forward, she’s coming home, and Joanna is finishing up her senior year of high school, but she is less over it. She starts showing up at Y/N’s house making all kinds of unwanted advances, but after being rejected several times, she turned to more subtle methods, including but not limited to lurking in the background, leaving anonymous gifts, and just generally being creepy. Unfortunately, the police could never find concrete evidence, which brings us to the present. And before you ask, yes, I have addresses for both parties, and I am sending them to your cells now.”

“Thanks, baby girl,” Morgan said.

“You can thank me when you get home,” Garcia purred.

“Reid, you and JJ go to the Y/L/N house. Rossi and Morgan can go to the Bridges residence, and Blake and I will stay here and see what more we can find out about the wind chime clue.”

“Okay,” JJ said, coming back from interviewing the parents. “Apparently, like most teenage girls, Y/N pretty much lived in her room. Everything we could possibly need to know about her life before she went off to college is going to be here. If this is all really about her, then maybe we can find some clues here.”

“I mean, that much is obvious. Look at this room. It’s lived in,” Reid said, tracing a finger over a picture frame on the desk. “There’s dust here, but not much, indicating that the room was cleaned at about the normal intervals for the girl she would have been at the time.”

“Okay, Y/N, where did you hide your secrets? A diary?” JJ checked the bookshelf and then classic hiding places for a diary. “Nope. Doesn’t look like she’s kept a diary in years. Not since before middle school, even. That’s weird. Reid, if you were a teenage girl, where would you keep a diary?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t keep one. It’s like asking someone to read your thoughts. The concept always seemed incredibly invasive to me. The only journals I kept were scientific. I’d much rather have people read my work, personally.”

“Wait, Reid, that’s it. If Y/N was like most teenage girls, she would have been intensely private. But you said that her writing was advanced. Not just the work of someone who well educated, but someone who was a literary enthusiast. What if, instead of keeping a diary, she wrote poetry about her life? That way, if anyone asked, she could just dismiss it as a story.”

“Her writing does indicate experience. That was part of why I thought it couldn’t be a younger unsub. It’s too well established, too firm in its identity and style. It would make sense if Y/N is as clever as we think she is. With her poetry, she would have been hiding in plain sight, just like she was when she left us those notes.”

Sure enough, after further going through the girl’s room, they found notebooks filled with poetry. Upon first glance, they could have been mistaken for school notebooks, classic yellow and black spiral bounds, but their contents read very different.

“Look at this, Spence.” JJ ushered him closer from where he stood reading across the room reading at a much faster pace than she could. “This one talks about someone in her life who tried to hold her back. Someone who couldn’t grow up and was mad at her for trying to. That sound like anyone we know?”

“Here, let me see that.” He flipped through the notebook in a matter of seconds. “From the sounds of it, there was some serious emotional manipulation happening her. Joanna guilt-tripped her hard and made some serious attempts at gaslighting. If she had been a little older and more experienced, she might have met with more success, but her attempts were too clumsy for Y/N not to identify them as what they were eventually. She wanted to believe the best, but Joanna aggressively drove her away. ironically in an attempt to keep her close.”

“Well Joanna is older now, and probably has enough experience to be a master manipulator if she started that young.”

“We have to tell the others, see if they found anything,” Reid said, dialing Morgan’s cell and explaining what they had found.

“Yeah, that’s pretty consistent with what we’re seeing here,” Morgan said. “This girl could write the textbook on emotional manipulation, from the way her family tells it. Not that they knew what was happening. They were just as under her spell.”

“Wait, Morgan...do you think the kidnappings could be to try to manipulate Y/N into killing with her?”

“Could be,” Morgan said. “I mean, think about it. It would be the ultimate sign of dedication. I would die for you, but would you kill for me? Just do this one thing and everything will be forgiven.”

“The only problem is, Y/N doesn’t want to be forgiven. She’s smart enough to know that she’s not the one in the wrong here.”

“It’s only a matter of time though before eventually, Joanna convinces her otherwise and she breaks though.”

“Well let's hope we get there first,” Spencer said before hanging up.

While he and Morgan had been talking, JJ had been wandering the house, investigating. “Spence, come take a look at this!”

He headed out onto the back porch where JJ was, only to find dozens of wind chimes.

“Mrs. Y/L/N, where did all of these wind chimes come from?” JJ asked.

“Oh, they were gifts. Most of them were from that sick, twisted stalker who kept sending her all the anonymous messages.”

“Were any from Joanna?” Reid asked.

“As a matter of fact, one was. She used to make them, and she made one for Y/N before they grew apart.”

“Which one of these is it?” JJ asked.

“Oh, it’s not any of these. It hangs inside, in the kitchen window. The glass it’s made out of was stained by hand, and it will fade if left out in the weather. Most of these are the same, but Y/N never cared if any of these got damaged. I think the only reason the first one is still in the kitchen is because it reminds her of a better time.”

“Ma’am, you said these were made by hand?” JJ said.

“Why yes, I believe so. Joanna’s family had some land by the water, I think, and they used to melt down the sand into glass. Very crafty, they all were.”

JJ whipped out her cell to call Garcia.

“Your resident Bill Gates impersonator in the house, what can I do for you darling?”

“Garcia, can you tell me if Joanna and her family had any kind of craft business having to do with glass? Wind chimes, maybe?”

“One moment, please....Yes, as a matter of fact, they did. The Bridges own a little arts and crafts store famous for their beautiful wind chimes made from sand gathered from a plot of land they own near the water here and all-natural dyes. Unfortunately, these little beauties have to be kept indoors to stay at peak condition, meaning that they will never make any cheerful tinkling noises.”

“That sounds remote enough to be a holding location. Garcia, can you give me an address on that beach house?”

“Sending it your way now sugar plum. PG out!”

The team raced for the house, and Spencer couldn’t help but feel a little nervous. Something told him this girl wasn’t a bad person. Well, actually, she had told him that. Specifically him, which was odd. How had she decided that he would be the one who could save her, and how had she even heard about him?

When the team made it into the house, they found Y/N held at gunpoint by a hysterical Joanna. The missing men must have been held somewhere else, but one that resembled Y/N lay on the floor unconscious.

“Joanna Bridges, FBI! Put the gun down,” JJ said.

“No!” Joanna screamed. “She doesn’t understand. I did this all for you. I never cared about him.” She gestured with the gun towards Y/B/N. “It was only ever you. I brought all of these men here to show you. They could never love you like I do. Don’t you understand?”

Spencer locked eyes with her. She was terrified, not that much younger than him. For a second, they seemed to click, and the look in her eyes changed.

“I understand, Joanna.” She reached out even though she looked like she might puke. “I understand now. You don’t have to do this anymore. It’s over.”

Joanna shook her head frantically. “Not until you kill one of them. You have to prove...you have to prove it.”

“Prove what, Joanna?” Spencer asked. “Prove that she loves you? She’s already proved that. She kept all the wind chimes you sent her. She wrote about you, in her poems. She loves you, I know she does. Don’t you, Y/N?”

You nodded frantically. “I do. I do, so just put down the gun JoJo.”

“You love me?” Joanna softened.

“Of course. Of course I do. So you see, you didn’t have to do this after all.”

“Say it.”

“Say what?” You asked, confused.

“Say that you love me.”

You swallowed, fighting the sick feeling in your stomach. “I love you.”

The second Joanna dropped her guard, JJ was on her, and you collapsed. You fell to your knees, but it wasn’t long before Spencer had an arm wrapped around you.

“It’s alright. It’s okay. Your clues lead us here. You were so brave and so clever,” he muttered.

“I thought,” you said, your breaths coming in shuddering gasps, “I thought if they would just call in the FBI...I read about you. I knew you could save me if I just left the breadcrumbs.”

“You did great Y/N. You did great.”

“She said, she said if I didn’t do what she said she would kill my brother,” you cried.

“It’s all going to be okay.”

A couple months later, you and Spencer were meeting for coffee. In the process of studying you and your...somewhat unique case, you two had become friends. A little more than that, actually. It was safe to say that you had a crush on him, but you had no idea if the genius reciprocated. If you had to take a guess, probably not.

“Hey uh...sorry I’m late. Paperwork.” He fiddled with the straps of his bag, an undeniable smile tugging at his lips.

“You don’t seem nearly put out enough to have been doing paperwork. Are you lying to me, Dr. Reid?” You teased.

He made a face. You had taken to calling him Spencer or Spence, and only called him Dr. Reid when you were teasing him or flirting with him. Not that he noticed the latter.

“You know I would never lie to you. Besides, I’m a terrible liar.”

You laughed. “Now that I know is a lie. You forget I’ve seen you in action. Put you in the same room as a murderer and you are one smooth criminal, Spence. Pun intended.”

He shook his head, but laughed anyway, sitting down across from you.

“Took the liberty of getting you a coffee. It’s only half full though to leave room for the sugar.”

“Actually, sugar is highly soluble-”

“I know, Spence. I was joking again.”

“Oh...Right.”

He looked bashful, so you took pity on him, reaching out for one of his hands. It was your turn to be shy though when he intertwined your fingers. You blushed, finding it difficult to make eye contact.

“Sorry,” he said, pulling his hand away. “I can not do that if it makes you uncomfortable.”

You took his hand back, pointedly intertwining the fingers despite your continued shyness. “No. It’s okay. I like this.”

“Yeah? That’s good because I like you.”

He blurted it out without thinking like it was one of his facts and he just couldn’t stop himself from saying it, consequences be damned. You could tell by the surprised look on his face that he hadn’t been planning on saying that.

“That’s a relief. I was afraid you didn’t feel the same way.” Your confidence bolstered by his confession, you leaned a little closer. “I like you too, Dr. Reid.”

His brow wrinkled in confusion. “Are you sure? Because you only call me Dr. when you’re teasing me.”

“For a genius, you can be really dumb sometimes, you know that? I don’t just call you Dr. when I’m teasing you. I call you Dr. when I’m flirting with you. Like I am right now.”

You had leaned in closer so that your lips were inches apart now.

“I’m all out of witty things to say now,” you breathed. “Your turn Spence.”

Spencer opted for action instead, kissing you gently.

“Mmm, you should do paperwork more often. I like what happens afterward.”

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moviemunchies · 4 years

Photo

Ready Player One is actually kind of a fantastic movie.

Okay no, it’s not particularly deep in themes, or filled with complex characters. I’ll give you that. But as a film? As a pure visual spectacle? Just from the look of it alone, this is one of Spielberg’s greatest movies of all time.

So Ready Player One goes a bit like this: in a not-too-far dystopian future (but not the one we’re living in right now), a computer nerd named James Halliday created the Oasis, a virtual universe online in which you can do pretty much anything. And everybody always hangs out there, because the world’s a bit crap. It’s gotten to the point that in-game currency’s more valuable than real world money. And then when James Halliday dies, he put in his will that the ownership of his company, and the control of the entire game, would be given to whoever was able to finish a treasure hunt in the game. Of course, everyone lined up to try to win the prize, but they can’t get past the first challenge.

Enter a young man named Wade Watts (or his username: Parzival) who is obsessed with Halliday. He and his best friend Aech have been trying for a while, dreaming of using the prize to live the dream, but haven’t made any progress. But after meeting a fellow competitor, Art3mis, he starts to put the pieces together and get closer to the prize, while also questioning how he should use it if he does win it.

The original novel by Ernest Cline received rave reviews upon its release in 2011, with it being called something of a celebration of nerd culture. By the time the film came out, it was a bit more controversial. Nerd culture had become less of a welcoming place, what with discussions of gatekeeping, sexism, and the ever dreaded Gamergate… thing, a lot of what made the novel was a lot less celebrated. And that colored a lot of people’s perception of the upcoming film adaptation.

Personally? I think the film’s better. A lot of the things in the novel that would feel very cringe-y now were removed or altered--for instance there’s no longer a scene where Wade humiliates a noob by proving that he knows more about 80’s pop culture than a wannabe nerd. Or that bit where he has to reenact an entire movie to get one of the three keys (although that probably had to be switched for copyright reasons anyway).

More to the point though, is that this is a story that feels as if it works better as a visual one. I don’t blame Ernest Cline for trying to tell this story as a novel, because that’s what he had available. But describing a virtual world, and then using a crap ton of pop cultural imagery doesn’t quite work as well when it’s being told to you as it does when you’re being shown all of these amazing things.

And HOLY FUDGE there are a lot of great visuals in this movie. The worlds of the Oasis are all rendered with CGI, the faces don’t look quite like real human beings, but they’re not supposed to, so it fits. It looks amazing. This movie is a visual feast. If you hate the story, I demand you see this movie just to see all the amazing stuff that can be done with CGI.

It reminded me of all the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which has a massive problem with its overabundance of CGI. Yes, it’s showing us imaginative worlds, but so many of them are completely CGI that it just feels fake. A movie like this, on the other hand, shows us a world that’s supposed to look computer-generated, because it’s a virtual one. It feels fake, but it’s supposed to be fake, and that feeds into the message of the film, which is admittedly a bit hastily added in, that as amazing as this virtual world is, it’s still not real.

The book also draws very heavily from 1980’s nerd culture, what is in my opinion the most overrated period of popular culture. The explanation in the book is that this was when Halliday grew up, so he put heavy emphasis on all of the things he liked. Therefore, to get ahead on the hunt for the treasure, everyone in the Oasis has become obsessed with the 80’s as well. That’s not quite the case in the film; yeah, there are 80’s references, but there are pop culture references from all over--a lot of DC comes up, but you also see kaiju, Alien, and TMNT pop up throughout the movie. It feels like a celebration of all kinds of modern nerd culture rather than just one era, and I appreciated that quite a bit.

I do say that the movie eliminated some of the dumber parts of the novel, but that doesn’t mean it’s perfect. For instance, Wade falls head over heels in love with Art3mis incredibly quickly, despite, as Aech tells him, you don’t know anything about people over the Internet just because you get to know their digital avatars. Yes, Internet friends are a real thing, but there’s a difference between being friends with someone you’ve never met and telling someone you’re in love with her when you don’t have a clue about her personal life.

There’s also the fact that one of the heavily-touted appliances that a bunch of people buy is a suit that lets you feel what happens to your digital avatar in the Oasis. Which yeah, could mean you can touch people, but also means that if you get stabbed or shot, as happens to action gamers all the time, so it’s a really dumb idea for him to get one. And yet he does it anyway. He does learn after he gets shot once, and gets rid of it, but it was an obviously dumb idea to begin with.

Yes, I get that Spielberg wants to show off a lot of the new technology, and yes he wants to retain and streamline the love story from the book. So I didn’t mind that much, but they did feel like weak points in an otherwise very impressive film. Yes, the villain is pretty much a one-dimensional corporate douchebag, but that’s not a bad thing. And given that his plan for taking over the Oasis is to fill with ads, and the state of the Internet in real life right now, it’s not as if it’s an unrealistic figure.

It’s cheesy, it’s straightforward, and maybe it’s not as clever of a story about gaming as one made by people more familiar with gaming and the Internet would be, but it is a fun movie, and it’s certainly glorious to see the visual art of the film on screen. If you’re expecting a very clever take on gaming, or the Internet, or technology, I don’t think you’ll be wowed by the story, but it’s a worthwhile watching experience that I think moviegoers should checkout.

#Ready Player One #Steven Spielberg #movies #RPO #Movie Munchies

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funknrolll · 4 years

Text

Celebrating Prince: discovering a timeless artist and his meaningful and impactful art. Part 4. The Truth, The Vault.. Old Friends 4 Sale and Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic eras.

Hi music lovers, as I anticipated on monday, music addiction is going to celebrate Prince and his amazing and timeless work!! The article will be split into a few little articles. I hope you enjoy this new format and these articles!!

As I said yesterday, let me say that I have heard so many things about Prince’s artistry. Some comments came from uneducated people who did not even take a second of their lives to understand, and do research on his art. Hence, I think the time to shed some light on Prince’s art, has come (finally). I hope to help some of those people understand this artist better and to finally appreciate him the way he deserves. We owe Prince big time. Today’s music and musicians owe Prince everything. Without him, many of the artists we listen to today, WOULD NOT BE EXISTING. As we all know, Prince loved to experiment with music, trying out new music genres, new styles, new harmonies, melodies, rhythms and so on. This is one of the factors that led this legend to create a unique, wide and broad vault. There are so many songs of his that I love so much and that I find relevant for this article. The ones I chose, are going to prove that Prince and his music did not just revolve around sex and sexuality, (even if the artist through his music took the topic to another whole level). Through the article, we will see that Prince was more than all that I mentioned above. He was an extraordinary human being, blessed with so many enormous talents, with a beautiful mind, a uniquely pure soul. A true gift of God. With this in mind, let us start this article.

The other three part of the article are already out on this blog, so check them out if you’d like✨

In 1998 Prince released 2 albums: Crystal ball and the Truth. The most relevant is, however, the Truth which was conceived as an acoustic album even though it contains some electronic sounds such as distortions, electronic instruments, sounds effects. Despite that, Prince focused on giving the album an acoustic sound. With these new, the almost minimalistic acoustic sounds emotional lyrics addressing political issues, animal exploitation, and the loss of a loved one, the artist unravels his most private and delicate side. Some of the songs I loved the most are The Truth, The Animal Kingdom, and Comeback. The 21 century was going to be the era of fake news and as I mentioned the artist was also predicting the era of fake news. Related to this topic these lies express how fake news can create an increase in people’s fear of death. Indeed, looking at the lyrics:

What if half the things ever said

Turned out 2 be a lie

How will U know the Truth?

From the beginning of the song, he is educating the listener about the lies we are told daily and the fake news we hear daily.

What If time's only reason?

Was to give us all somethin' 2 fear?

And if so y'all, the end of the journey's so clear

These lines address the issue of how the lies create the fear of death.

If there was just one day

That everybody tell the truth

We'd all trade bank accounts & move to back to Neptune

The song closes with the artist envisioning a world without fake news and with no lies. What I find extremely relevant is the contrast between Prince’s performance and the sound of the guitar which is even more remarked while Prince chose to perform most of the song in a light head voice. What I also find remarkable is the use of electronic sounds such as the ticking of the clock right before singing the line” What if time is the only reason”

Another song that I particularly love is The Animal Kingdom. Prince addressed the issue of animal cruelty. He also gives the listener clues about him being vegan. As the lyrics are quite straightforward, there is no need for a further explanation, however, what makes the song unique is its instrumental as this album is characterized by an acoustic sound. Indeed, the artist used a wide dose of electronic sounds and he distorted his voice as well. I also noticed an exceedingly clever use of sounds effects such as animal sounds.

The third song I mentioned is the Comeback which is extremely personal, deep, and emotional. It gets straight to the heart. This song is about losing someone dear and as in 1996 Prince lost his first and only child, I would assume that this song was how the artist was dealing with this heartbreak unfortunate event he experienced. He then crafted a sophisticated but yet simple instrumental entirely played with an acoustic guitar to which he added some of the most BEAUTIFUL AND TOUCHING lyrics to ever be written. Personally, as I have just lost my grandfather and my grandmother as well, I feel this song extremely close to my heart, Prince with these words and his beautiful performance had been able to touch my heart in such a way that only true artist with an ENORMOUS sensitivity could do. Moreover, taking a look at the lyrics:

Walking up the stairs

Just the afternoon

Sweet wind blew

Not a moment 2 soon

(Hoo) I cry when I realized

That sweet wind was USpirits come and spirits go

Some stick around 4 the aftershow

Don't have 2 say I miss U (don't have 2 say I miss U)

Cause I think U already know

If U ever lose someone

Dear 2 U

Never say the words they’re gone

They'll come back, yeah

They'll come back, yeah yeah

They'll come back

Tears go here

The song lasts only 1 minute and 59 seconds, and it consists of a few lines. However, with these few yet powerful words, the artist has been able to communicate one of the worst experiences he could possibly go through. What left me so mesmerized about this gem is how Prince could tell and perform this heartbreaking story with such a beautiful and unarming gentleness that only he could do. Moreover, the Artist opted for an acoustic album to craft this masterpiece, which is in perfect harmony with the main theme of this song.

In 1999 the Artist released his last album with Warner Bros, The Vault. This work features unreleased materials. In my opinion, there are 2 relevant songs on this album which are There is Lonely and Old Friends 4 Sale.

The blues ballad There is Lonely is characterized by some straightforward used to express Prince’s pain caused by a deep sense of loneliness.

Is it me or did the room just get darker?

Is it me or did I just lay down and die?

Is this a dream or did the world just crumble at my very feet?

How in heaven will I ever be alright? here is lonely and there is lonely

And then there is how I feel right now

Perhaps only Cain when he'd slain his brother

Could ever come close to knowing how...yeahThere is lonely and there is lonely

And then there is how I feel right now

Perhaps only Cain when he'd slain his brother

Could ever come close to knowing how there is lonely and there is lonely

And then there is how I feel right now

The short yet impressive and effective lyric is a poignant rant where the Artist with some heartbreaking metaphors conveyed to the listener what he was feeling. Additionally, as we can see from the lyrics, Prince is comparing loneliness to darkness and to death which is complementary. Moreover, loneliness is also compared to the world crumbling at the artist’s feet. The artist depicted the feeling of loneliness as something so overwhelming that he was not sure he would have ever been all right again. The heartbreak led the Artist to feel like nobody could ever understand how he felt. Additionally, Prince used another relevant metaphor which involves Cain and Abel, the two biblical from the book of genesis. As I mentioned, the music genre opted is blues and suites perfectly the general topic of this masterpiece, enhancing the sorrow and the pain the artist felt. Prince’s performance is another poignant yet interesting characteristic. The artist sang these words with a beautiful soft voice he was almost whispering, perhaps he opted for this beautiful and sophisticated performance because sometimes if we want to be heard we must learn to whisper. This, indeed, makes this masterpiece even more effective because we can really feel the sorrow and the exhaustion the artist was feeling.

The second song I mentioned is Old Friends 4 Sale. This might look like a sad love-story but it is not. It is indeed a song about betrayal and being backstabbed by someone the artist trusted. Indeed, this masterpiece was written out of rage. The song is about Jimmi Jam and Terry Lewis respectively the Time’s keyboardist and bassist. According to the book, Prince and the Purple Rain Era Studio Sessions 1983 and 1984, by Duane Tudahl, recounts the fateful day of March 24, 1983. The Time was due on stage in San Antonio that evening to open for Prince. Jam and Lewis were in Atlanta, producing sessions for the SOS Band. “We get to the airport, and it starts snowing”, said Jam in an interview recalling the half-inch that shut down the airport. They missed the gig and were later fired from the band. But unlike the dozens of talented musicians that would come and go from Prince’s orbit in the years ahead, Jam and Lewis were different – they were like family. Moreover, Prince already warned the Time not to produce music with other bands, to prevent his friends from giving away the signature sound that made them so special. Despite Prince’s warning them, Jimmy and Terry did not listen. However, Prince was not the one who decided to fire Jam and Lewis. Indeed as Prince said in a 1990 follow-up Rolling Stone interview with Karlen, "I'm playing the bad guy," says Prince, "but I didn't fire Jimmy and Terry. Morris asked me what I would do in his situation. You got to remember, it was his band." Besides all of that, what I find impressive is the orchestral arrangement of this song. Prince opted for another blues song which suits extremely well the general meaning of this masterpiece. Moreover, the beautiful, sophisticated, complex arrangement of the song was crafted by Clare Fischer. The song presents an exceedingly wide variety of musical instruments and a mesmerizingly broad spectrum of harmonies.

The following album is Rave In2 the Joy Fantastic released in 1999. Among the songs that I prefer in this masterpiece, there are Eye Love You but I don’t trust you anymore, Man ‘O’ War and Whatever U go Whatever U do. With this album, the Artist is letting the listener catch a glimpse of how and why his relationship with his former wife Mayte Garcia, was ending. Moreover, Prince was in constant evolution artistically and musically and this album is the proof of it. Indeed, the sounds of this album are extremely different from the previous ones he released. Eye Love You But I Don’t Trust You Anymore is one of the most intimate, personal and heartbreaking songs the artist had ever written. The simple and neat arrangement was crafted for voice, piano, and guitar. The lyrics of this masterpiece are also quite straight-forward.

I could tell from the moment you walked in the room

That it wasn't your dress you had on, that wasn't your perfume

And what happened to the ring that I gave you?

What am I to assume? I love u, but I just don't trust u anymore You could tell f

rom the moment you looked in my eyes

That I could see right through you, you must apologize

I've always given you the best in life

Even in the wrong, it was right

I know you trust me, but you don't love me anymore, I remember meeting you here in the good old days

I would never pick the flower of my favorite protege

Maybe if I would have

Then you would not treat me this way

You tricked me but you will not anymore, no, I love u, but I don't trust u anymore

According to what these lines are inferring, the artist was cheated on by his partner which led to a widespread belief that the person he was singing about was his former wife Mayte Garcia. Indeed, Prince says he did not recognize his wife and her perfume and that she took off the ring he gave her. Moreover, in the last verses, Prince is claiming to be the one who was cheated on as he sings “ I would never pick the flower of my favorite protege/ Maybe if I would have/ Then you would not treat me this way/ You tricked me but you will not anymore”. As I said, the song seems to suggest that Prince was cheated on, and being wronged by an unfaithful spouse was fairly new territory for the artist’s lyrical repertoire. Moreover, as regards the arrangement, it is extremely simple and intimate as it is made of a piano and an acoustic guitar, courtesy of the indie rock artist Ani DiFranco. Moreover, this is one of the most nakedly emotional songs by the musical genius. This emotivity is so hearable in Prince’s voice and it is indeed super clear that he was hurt and wounded. As regards the lyrics the message Prince is delivering is extremely powerful and the pain and sense of betrayal are totally feelable. However, these lyrics were performed in such a gentle and delicate way which made the message delivered even more poignant. Moreover, Prince might have opted for spare but yet sophisticated lyrics so the beautiful vocals and the lyrics could be brought to the forefront and hence the listener could put all his attention to them. This is in my opinion on of the most beautiful and heart-wrenching songs that the artist has ever done. Furthermore, the second song I mentioned is Man ‘O’ War. Allegedly, this is another song where the Artist expressed his anger and pain for what he endured when his relationship was dissolving. Indeed, as in Eye Love You But I Don't Trust You Anymore, the lyrics are extremely clear. In fact, from this song, the listener can expect to hear the story of a man who was tired of being in an unpeaceful relationship. From the lyrics, it becomes evident how hurt Prince was to the point that he felt like he was robbed of his dignity. On the other hand, he wanted to have the peace of mind and how he wanted to be loved and wanted again. However, this could not happen with the person he was talking about because as the Artist said “ But lovin' you, lovin' you, lovin' you is a waste of time”, therefore with the” 7-page letter” the artist mentions (perhaps hinting to the divorce papers), the marriage between the couple was just meant to dissolve. As regards the arrangements, Prince chose a slow and extremely intense r&b song that suits the lyrics perfectly. Furthermore, on a more positive note, the third song I mentioned is Wherever U go, Whatever you do. Through some forthright lyrics, the artist delivers an extremely uplifting and motivating message. With these words inspiring words the artist, encouraging each of us to be positive and smile and to pursue our dreams and always try our best no matter what. Another lesson we can learn from Prince is to learn from every situation, good or bad, and that even if we fail sometimes, it is ok as long as we tried our best. This is one of the most heartwarming, most powerful, and biggest lessons that Prince has taught us and that he had lived his entire life up to. As regards the performance, the Artist uses such a beautiful, gentle, and delicate head voice and I honestly can feel all the love and the positivity he was putting into this masterpiece. I think also that the lyrics are so BEAUTIFUL that, I need to report them here.

Wherever U Go, Whatever U do

Oh please, remember that I'll always be there 4 U

U don't have 2 call, U don't have 2 say

Just think about me and I'll be on my way

I don't have 2 worry, I'm sure U'll be fine

Cuz if U stay happy, then what's yours is mine

Wherever U Go, Whatever U do

Remember that I'll always be there 4 U

(Oh Baby)

Wherever U R, think of your dreams

Oh please, remember life ain't always what it seems

4 each rainy day (rainy day)

That comes your way

The sun will come shining and U'll be okay

Keep on smiling - every girl and boy

Remember when U were children U had toys

Wherever U R, think of your dreams

Remember that dreams become the life U lead

Whatever U play, it's okay 2 lose

Ooh sometimes (sometimes...)

As long as U learn from every game U choose

If one thing is sure, U'll always endure

If U try your best at everything U do

Say what U mean and mean what U say

The price 4 a broken heart - it's 2 much 2 pay

And nothing is worth it if U don't have 2 try

The higher the stakes - the higher the sky

Wherever U Go, whatever U do

Please remember

Remember that I'll always be there 4 U

If you guys would like to purchase your copy of the albums I wrote about in this article (which I recommend, PLEASE DO NOT BOOTLEG PRINCE’S MUSIC), I’ll post the links below✨

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G4RBKVX/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=83159c110419ccae1e65f81e748becc1&creativeASIN=B07G4RBKVX

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002C7C25K/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=ef3f50f598a5d101ef449e332467257c&creativeASIN=B002C7C25K

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NHR5XWZ/ref=as_sl_pc_tf_til?tag=giuliabianchi-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=e1e74ca6b12fa9f07c1d18d6086f8377&creativeASIN=B07NHR5XWZ

This was the 4th part of a series of articles dedicated to Prince to celebrate his life and most importantly his art. Stay tuned for more. If you have missed the first part feel free to check it out✨ In the meantime stay home, stay safe and healthy. Peace and Love 4 one another. thank you so much for your attention 💜 G 💜

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