#i know it's conditional | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

barbieb0y · 2 years

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queer muslim culture is being really attached to your family and actually wanting to stay with them but you know you can’t because they’ll never accept you for who you are and you feel real upset over that fact

#somewhat of a vent #sometimes i wish i wasnt trans #literally before i discovered i was trans i was pretty fine with staying local #but now i just. im not safe here #and knowing that only my sister has my back #it's just heartbreaking is all #especially bc my mom genuinely loves me but #i know it's conditional #sorry for the angst i just #i love my mom but #if only.....#wow mama by mcr came on lmao how fitting #queer muslim #queer #muslim #islam #transgender #trans #shut up safar

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zytes · 5 months

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this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

#misc #I encourage anyone dyslexic to try rotating him in your mind. I can’t do that; which is why I’m asking you to.#also: a bunch of tags are surprised this isn’t ‘shopped #it’s the lighting. backlit by the sun (which is diffused through the water) but also forelit artificially #the artificial light - a flash pack or something - casts a hard shadow under the creatures arm #which normally wouldn’t be possible if backlit by the SUN; you’d see a less-hard/more-fragmented shadow above water #as light sources ‘compete’ in a sense - and since there aren’t any light sources which can outshine the literal sun #it looks a bit weird when the darkest shadow is being cast from any other origin point - which is what’s essentially happening here #I don’t know the mechanics of how light travels through water; but I know the effect is substantial even with relatively short distances #also: it’s been balanced and color corrected by the author of the photo - who made deliberate choices to bring out the full potential #so it’s not like it’s a fresh and untouched export #but the kind of ‘tacked on’ appearance of the creature is a result of the lighting conditions within the image

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qiinamii · 8 months

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we'll do fine.

#fionna and cake spoilers #what hits me a little is how similar fionna and simon's stories are in the case of finding nuance in their lives #when both have gone through their separate but still valid pain no matter the extent it had been #and its that they met each other they get to see how it compares and they're no less worth of the peace and fun they dreamed of #even in the form of simplicity and just being normal #“i wouldn't have met THE fionna and cake” “we wouldn't have met THE simon petrikov”#it hits me harder that after the dandelion scene would've been their last time seeing each other physically #and how assuring simon sounded when fionna didn't know what to do with the literal world in her hands #tho im sure prismo isnt that much of a rule jerk lol i still drew out the revelation anyway with this tiniest addition #also the fact fionna's world is influenced by simon's thought processes and conditions so now things are a little better for both of them #fionna the human #fionna campbell #simon petrikov #qiiarts #the lil flashback of #betty grof #fionna and cake #adventure time

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inkskinned · 10 months

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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chloesimaginationthings · 3 days

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Man this scene in FNAF 2 movie is gonna be wild-

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astralpenguin · 1 year

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self care is writing a fic that you’re literally the sole target audience for

#nobody was asking for a spn pmmm crossover fic focusing on claire at 14 #who by this point has already been manipulated into agreeing to something without knowing all the terms and conditions first #and it was awful and the worst day of her life #so when kyubey approaches her she doesn't go for it #but the people around her do and so claire gets to watch people she loves die horribly AGAIN #like there is nothing in spn canon that contradicts any of this #but literally nobody is wanting a fic like this to exist #nobody except for me #so i guess i have to do everything myself around here #el talks

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fleshdyke · 8 months

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hi everyone the aviary has until november 2024 to raise enough money to find a new location or else all the birds will be rehomed

for those of you who don’t know the aviary has been operating out of an old house for years. the house is officially falling apart and is no longer safe to house the birds. the city has completely given up on us. the deadline to find a new place is november 2024, and if we don’t raise enough money to find somewhere else, the aviary will be forced to dissolve and all of the birds will have to find new homes.

it’s not easy to find homes for 20 large parrots, many of which aren’t sociable and have health issues. there is a pair of bonded macaws that cannot be separated and can be aggressive, loud, and destructive - there are not many places for them to go. it is not going to be easy to find somewhere else to go (especially with the current real estate market in canada) but anything and everything helps. please consider donating if you can :)

https://www.hamiltonaviary.com/donate

#rambles #birds #birdblr #birblr #parrots #parrotblr #canada #hamilton ontario #ontario #aviary reveal btw #i know billy’s beak is really long in that pic but that’s an older pic and no longer looks like that :) there aren’t any volunteers that #he’s comfortable with taking him out and he has a heart condition so beak trims are difficult to do on him #100 #1k

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lgbtqforeverything · 2 months

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everything about lydia finally being able to rest and not rage anymore (and even how the bad kids and specifically kristen approached her this season!) feels like a disability metaphor to me. the feeling of getting to rest after years of rage and how it can so easily be read as finding the right medication or accommodation. the way kristen immediately tries to get the gem out and how obvious lydia’s relief (and disbelief tbh) is at her immediate trying like how finding a doctor that actually wants to work with you is like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

#i don’t know if this makes sense #but as someone who is disabled and has a lot of disabled friends who have to deal with shitty doctors and conditions #it feels really important to me #lydia barkrock #fantasy high #a.j. posts #dimension 20 #d20 posting

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dozydawn · 2 years

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Mayerling.

Melissa Hamilton and Rupert Pennefather.

Lauren Cuthbertson and Thiago Soares.

Natalia Osipova and Edward Watson.

Melissa Hamilton and Rupert Pennefather.

Natalia Osipova and Edward Watson.

Sarah Lamb and Steven McRae.

#obsessed #mayerling #ballet #kiss #couple #fave pics #lifts #i’m so glad this is hitting w folks bc this sat in my drafts for months cause i thought this is a post Just For Me and it’ll flop #mostly it sat in my drafts bc i was like what the fuck do i write as a header ‘this one hot kiss lift from mayerling’#in the end i just settled for the ballet title ok everyone knows what this is #you guys are conditioning me to release more pose compilations from my hellish drafts #oh and one more thing... ice dance interpretation of this lift WHEN? i need a mayerling ice dance program stat please #1k #kenneth macmillan #pose compilation

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pangur-and-grim · 3 months

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it’s hard for me to feed myself right now (just in terms of physical ability), so my mom drove me and the animals to her place. she carried the cats in first, because I had to butt-scoot up the front stairs, and once inside, Pangur got scared and ran. she’s tucked herself away somewhere, and nobody can find her. I probably could, and I could lure her out and make her feel safe again, except that I’m largely immobile. I keep falling on the crutches and fucking my leg up further, and the likeliest hiding spots are up or down a fleet of stairs. it’s been 4 hours, and it’s killing me not to look for her. I’m so tempted to crawl down the basement stairs, broken leg be damned.

#I have bad object permanence and anxiety #so my brain is saying ‘she’s gone forever’#she’s definitely in the house but I’m getting scared bc worst case scenario is that stress has brought on a medical condition #and that she’s stuck somewhere and needs help but I can’t get to her #I know she’ll probably just come out later in the night once she feels safe. but it’s hard to lie here like a lump waiting

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thedisablednaturalist · 5 months

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I think when people think of mental illness and what helps, especially with things like anxiety and depression, the treatment involves pushing yourself. Pushing yourself to get out of bed, to exercise, to take a shower, to go out in public, to order your own food from the cashier, etc.

And because the mental health movement has grown so much, people think that's the default of ALL illnesses. That the only way someone will get better is if they push themselves. That practice makes perfect. That you'll become more comfortable or strong over time the more you do something.

But what people need to realize is, with physical disabilities and chronic illnesses, pushing yourself in most cases is DETRIMENTAL. Pushing yourself past your limits can lead to flare ups or further injury. That's why it's important to know your limits, how certain activities may affect your condition, and learn how to either adapt or get help to complete the activity in question.

Also, most of us are already pushing ourselves. Most of us don't have access to the help or equipment we need. Most of us live in places where we frequently encounter inaccessible obstacles. Most of us NEED to rest.

So please don't try to be our physical therapists or doctors. There are people specifically trained to help us navigate our own conditions and limitations. There are people trained to help us strengthen our body's resilience without causing flare-ups or injury. Do not tell us "it'll be good for you" or "you need the exercise" when we say something is too heavy or too far or when we say we need our mobility aid(s). Your friend with depression may need to be encouraged to get out of bed, but your friend with chronic illness definitely doesn't.

Respect our rest.

#wrenfea.exe #DISCLAIMER: dont take this as me saying you should be pushing your mentally ill friends #this is more about how physical conditions often differ in how they are treated #also dont like. force your friends or anyone with anxiety to do things they dont want to #thats what therapists are for #also most mental illnesses require medication alongside therapy before they can get better #but even chronic illnesses and disabilities that benefit from exercise still require knowing your limits #and not being pressured to push past them #ive noticed some professionals who help both mentally and physically ill patients tend towards the push method #like my therapist and sometimes my counselors fall back on that method #and i have to remind them i am already pushing myself #and i need to adapt rather than push forward #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #disability #chronic illness #cripple punk #cripplepunk #cpunk

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whumpster-dumpster · 5 months

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Love it when a whumpee who's known to be especially emotive just goes blank. Dead quiet, glassy eyes, no thoughts head empty, especially if the change is super abrupt and unnerving

#whump #whump prompt #writing prompt #i don't know how to tag this #umm #mind control #conditioning #brainwashing #possession #just tagging whatever applicable tropes i think of first

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buggachat · 7 months

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imagine, say, Bunnyx went back to Origins Season 1 and pulled Gabriel aside as he was considering picking up the Hawkmoth mantle and showed him, "Look, Gabriel. If you continue on this path, you WILL succeed in getting the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous. You WILL make a wish. But getting there will tear you apart. You will lose what humanity you have, you will literally rot away from the inside, spend the last months of your life in agonizing pain, Nathalie and Adrien (the only two people in your life you can even pretend to care about) will spit on your name and Nathalie will grow to despise you so much she will attempt to kill you. And your wish? It will NEVER bring Emilie back. You won't even be able to bring yourself to do it, because you'll realize that you've become everything that she hated and never wanted you to be. Emilie WILL STAY DEAD, and in the end, all you will be able to wish for is an end to your now-miserable life. All this gamble will win you is your grave."

idk I just don't think Gabriel's response to that would be "oh yay! I win!"

#honestly I'm a firm believer in Gabriel's win condition being ''Emilie is revived''#if Emilie was revived in any capacity i would agree that he won. no matter what. even if she hated him even if he died #if emilie lives then gabriel wins #because that was his Only Goal #but emilie didn't live. so i dont know how this could be a win for him yknow?#the only 'positive' part of his wish was saving nathalie. but nathalie would never be dying in the first place if it werent for his actions #he won the battle in a sense on a purely technical level but he absolutely lost the war and achieved none of his goals #ml s5 spoilers #ml re-creation #re-creation spoilers #ml recreation #recreation spoilers

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leisi-lilacdreams · 8 months

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some dpxdc content as a treat

original ref under cut

#my art #dp x dc #dp #dpxdc #danny phantom #danny fenton #duke thomas #i want more danny and duke being besties #red duck candle #if you know you know #jury's still out if danny is considered a meta #dying is a medical condition #redrawn art #duke's the normal one #he and danny give each other side eyes at wayne weirdness #danny has no leg to stand on but he likes to pretend he does lmao

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purplebehittindifferent · 7 days

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I have added a quirky comment here for the last year and a half, however now… I have no words.

jk I have all these words 👇

I know it is very bitter sweet, but this is the end of Reconnecting. Thank you all for coming along on this journey with me. I plan on making a behind the scenes video on my YT sometime soon. Feel free to send any asks you have I want to answer them all!

Please know I am not going to dissapear! I still plan on making content consistently, and my original comic RULE 5 is already underway, and if you’d like I’m certainly not against writing some exposition fics for Reconnecting 💜

masterpost

Prev (3::8) / This is the End 💜

#art #my art #deltarune #reconnecting #reconnecting update #here it is #you’ll never know the vessels real name hehehehhe #anwayyyyy #please send an ask I’m planning on answering them all #man I literally cried so much doing this #this story is so close to my heart and so much actually about me and my journey with my mental condition #I feel like a new chapter of my life just started with this one’s end #ANYHOO NO MORE SAPPY #thank you all for reading #I STILL TAKE COMMISSIONS #also I have really cute headcanons so like- ask for little stories I’ll write em #rule 5 is coming!!! I have a ton of concept art #and yknow I’ll still draw deltarune shenanigans #*SOBBING*

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apathyfairy · 3 months

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last year i found a wii at goodwill for 25 dollars and it came with everything except a wiimote but it was in such good condition i was like hell yeah ill take it how hard can it be to find a wiimote. the answer is it's nearly impossible to find them at thrift stores now so i've spent like 8 months looking for ones in thrift stores but there wasn't a single one and then online but i just couldn't bring myself to spend 30 dollars on one single wiimote so i waited so. patiently. and then 2 weeks ago i finally found one at goodwill for 9 dollars but it was absolutely disgusting and the battery cover was missing and the compartment was all corroded so i put it back and regretted it the whole week but then this last weekend i went to savers and there was an absolutely perfect wiimote just sitting there with no corrosion and a jacket and the wrist strap and motion plus and the nunchuck was there too and i got it all for 10 dollars so the moral of the story is that sometimes things seem right for you in the moment but you have to recognize that they aren't and leave them behind so the things that are meant for you will in fact find you when the time is right. peace and love <3

#for real though im so happy i cant even lie like i regretted selling my wii soooooo much but anyway im back baby <3 #im disinfecting everything rn bc i have a germ problem but once it it's done.....i am SO back #when i first got it i didnt have the remote right so i couldnt plug it in and make sure that it worked but i did just plug it into an outle #to make sure it ran and it did and wii sports resort popped out of the drive so thats fun bc i didnt have that one #and anyway i might cry when i hear the menu sound ngl ngl.#but the city i live in is like an overgrown retirement home and so the goodwill is full of old people things and this wii had stickers #like explaining which cord was which so i just know it was a wii that they bought for like grandmas house and only played it when they were #over there so anyway cant wait to see what's on there and if the news channel and weather channel are still on the homepage even though #i dont think they work anymore lol #also shoutout to the type a kid who kept their wiimote in such perfect condition that i wanted to cry when i saw it sitting on the shelf #ty <3

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