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dollfaced-erin · 6 months

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𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟'𝕤 ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕝𝕖 (Blade x F!Reader x Jing Yuan)

PART 14

PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13

A/n : -

Hi ! Sorry i've been long ! i hope yall havent been waiting until you go stale on me hehe ! I hope all of you have been well while i was gone and been good ! I just made the masterlist and im pretty happy with the way it turned out for me. I've been going through some irl issues and wasnt able to write as often. but since im warming up here more, i think i'm able to adjust to my life here and be able to write again per usual~! someone ples hit me if i forget...

Taglist : -

@rebeccawinters , @nayukiyukihira , @pix-stuff , @fluffy-koalala , @swivy123 , @starxao , @kaoyamamegami , @kimura-uzuri , @rsvye , @seikouryuu , @just-here-reading , @matsulovesyou, @sincerely-aaronette , @prettyliliy , @chibiduck , @hermosacolibri , @la-diablas-thingz , @farelady-fate , @everi-eve , @shadowfoxey , @helloyuki , @immahuman

(Y/n) walked back to the Matrix of Prescience once again, head held high as if she hadn't succumbed to the sea of Lunarescent Depths earlier. Her body felt no pain, but the lingering feeling of being impaled was a constant reminder in the back of her mind.

"Are you sure you're ready for it ? Don't you think you need more rest ?" Bailu asked worriedly as she watched the former reigning high elder stand from the resting position she was placed in earlier.

"No. I've had enough rest. I need to get back to my loyalties." She said, looking at the princess behind her. Sorrow flashed in her eyes as they landed on the shackle on Bailu's tail.

Then she bent down to the girl's height, her heart throbbing in familiarity and familial. She raised a hand and ruffled Bailu's purple locks, a soft smile on her lips.

"Hey...when I'm back, I'll make sure I'll get those damned Preceptors to release your tail from that shackle." (Y/n) said soflty.

It didn't take a genius to know that Bailu's shackle was a Vidyadhara artisan specialty. In fact...she knew that the power that almost...resonated from the relic was used to seal her powers that overflowed from the young dragon lady.

"I'm off now." (Y/n) said, getting up and turning to leave the area. But then she felt a small force tug at her draping cloth from behind. As she looked back with a raised eyebrow, Bailu's eyes were looking right up at her, with worry and with a certain...desire.

"Yes...? Is there anything you need, Miss Bailu...?" (Y/n) said softly, eyes softening at the sight of the pouting girl.

"When...when you come back, can you...can you teach me some High Elder magic...?" she asked softly and shyly.

(Y/n)'s eyes widened before a small smile formed on her lips. "I can try, since my powers are halved without him. But first, I need to fix what I'm supposed to, and repay debts of old. Then when I come back, I'll do my best."

"Promise ?"

(Y/n)'s eyes softened as she crouched in front of the young girl, holding her pinky out.

"Promise."

As much as it all ached, she had work to do. She had regained most of her olden memories that had impacted her in her past. She had come to terms that she is indeed Dan Jia. But at the same time she was (Y/n).

But most importantly she was herself.

High Elder or not, sister to a convicted and exiled criminal or not, she had undying loyalty tied to the land she was standing on. And as the sister to the exiled prince, she had to reimburse and repay the debts that had long been buried by her slumber and his exile.

As she stepped into the Divination Commission's main divining center, she heard gasps of awe and surprise.

She supposed that her current air and facade that she withhold was no longer the same as she was before the memory resurgence from the Matrix of Prescience, the awakening of the Ambrosial Arbor, the Stellaron burst and the endless sea of Lunarescent depths.

By the flight of stairs before reaching the core, (Y/n) caught sight of a petite pink haired lady, looking quite nervous from her stance. She was a little hunched over, an arm across her chest as the other was brought to her lips, biting at her nail gently.

"Lady Fu Xuan." (Y/n) greeted, and the master diviner looked at her in surprise, her golden eyes widening in shock and masked relief.

"L-lady (Y/n) ! A-are you alright ?" The lady asked, and (Y/n) simply raised a hand to wave off her concern, and the diviner silenced herself.

"I am fine. I was brought here to seek out the meaning behind my relapsing visions and wavering consciousness by Jing Yuan. I thought that the least I could do now is come over and assist as I should." (Y/n) said simply.

Even while being someone impatient and disliked the authority of someone above her, namely Jing Yuan, Fu Xuan remained silent as she gazed at the taller woman next to her in awe.

A calm, cold and calculated (e/c) gaze, lips pulled into a small frown, eyes trained onto what lies ahead, arms crossed over her chest, the silky (h/c) hair and regal oriental clothing, the intricate earring that hung from her pointed ear and the horns that perched on her head.

She was the epitome of power and grace.

"If you wish to assist..." Fu Xuan noted, looking at (Y/n). "You might consider lending a hand to the Nameless. Currently they're on the way with a help of a guide after dealing with the spies of the Elixir Seekers lurking within the crowd."

"But I'll have to confirm with the General before I allow you to join them. He should have the last say for he is the one that took it upon himself to take any responsibility for your actions or anything regarding your wellbeing." Fu Xuan said as she began to walk in front of (Y/n), climbing up the flight of stairs.

"Come, right this way, Lady (Y/n)." Fu Xuan said as she ascended the stairs, the dragon lady not far behind her.

"Let's talk to the General for a bit before they arrive."

"Princess...how are you ? I haven't heard of you in a while and quite frankly to say, I was interested in your condition." The familiar smooth voice of the general caressed all ears that were present. Namely, (Y/n) and Fu Xuan.

The general stood before them in the form of a hologram, arms crossed over his chest as a lazy cat-like grin pulled across his lips, towering before the former High Elder of the Luofu and the Master Diviner of the Divination Commission.

"Smooth way to say you were worried about me, General." (Y/n) said with a small chuckle, earning raised eyebrows from the general at the mature and reformed (Y/n) before him.

But he chuckled, and shook his head. "Well, I suppose you could put it that way, (Y/n). Therefore, let me rephrase myself. How are you ? I heard everything and was pretty worried about you."

"I'm fine, thank you. I have...per say...come to terms with my condition and fully stand responsible for whatever has, will and would take place." (Y/n) said with a gentle smile, tilting her head a little to the side with her arms crossed over her chest.

"You never cease to amaze me, my moon..." Jing Yuan said with a chuckle, and his hologram reached out to caress her beautiful silky (h/c) hair that shone beneath the moonlight.

A slight blush dusted her cheeks as she saw the hand. Upon instinct, she would've leaned into the caring and warm hand that was large enough to caress her cheek. But she stiffened a little as she remembered warm lips that once touched her own.

Was this really okay ?

She had an unsolved relationship status with Dan Jia's past lover. Does he count as her own lover as well...? But...

She did find that man that named himself Blade very attractive and alluring. With those sharp scarlet eyes, that defined and sculpted figure and face, his beautiful dark hair and deep sultry voice. And the man does not live by his past identity. Just like how (Y/n) doesn't associate to being one with Dan Jia.

Is it selfish of her to relish in the love by two different men...?

It...isn't forbidden is it...?

Ah...she'll think about that later...

For now...she just wants to lean into his hand and relish in the warmth she knew that palm exuded from the numerous times they had exchanged small intimate gestures...

"Ahem !" a sharp coughed pulled the two out of their dazes.

Pulling back, (Y/n) face turned a bright red and (e/c) eyes blown wide with surprise and embarrassment. Her eyes averted their gaze to the ground and she heard a smooth chuckle from the general and an unsatisfied sigh from Fu Xuan.

"If you're going to show off your intimacy, please do it somewhere and sometime when the situation isn't so dire and in the eyes of the innocent public !" Fu Xuan said, irritation in her voice.

"I..I apologize. I didn't mean to react that way..." (Y/n) said, her cheeks beaming red.

"No need to apologize. I do agree that I am quite the...catch. " The general said with a smirk and the two women groaned in annoyance.

"Back to the topic at large," Jing Yuan said with a hearty chuckle. "Diviner Fu, how are things progressing ?"

We're fluctuating between the heaven and thunder trigrams. A step forward bridges no distance hence..." she said, looking down thoughtfully as she recounts what she had foreseen and received word of.

"And...for those who don't speak Fu Xuan...?" Jing Yuan asked, tilting his head to the side a little at the use of such big and fancy analogies by the small pink woman before him. Even (Y/n) had taken a moment to actually register the flowery words.

"Ahem..." she coughed, before looking at the towering general before her with disappointed and troubled eyes. "It's an utter disaster. How's that for a Divination Commission fortune ?"

"After trying to recount and retell the chapters of the past, no, even before that...the Matrix of Prescience has slowed down and stopped operating and the symbols have dimmed. There are Stellaron spirits wreaking havoc inside the commission and the Cloud Knights are struggling to protect civilians." Fu Xuan said and (Y/n) looked...worried and guilty.

Was this all her fault...? As in...was peeking into her past the reason why the Matrix of Prescience has stopped working ? Has her awakening triggered the rampage of the spirits of the forbidden disease ?

"...I want to restore the Matrix of Prescience but I have no forces available..." Fu Xuan said with a shake of her head. "And on top of that General, we still have to deal with the Stellaron Hunter you handed us. If that's not an utter disaster, then I don't know what is..."

Then Jing Yuan let out a hearty laugh. "But you're Fu Xuan the seer-- the boundless omniscient !" Jing Yuan said, trying to motivate her. "Bringing luck and avoiding misfortune is your strong suit, isn't it ?"

"You don't need to flatter me, General. It's natural for fortune to fluctuate -- there's no escaping it." Fu Xuan said with a serious frown on her lips. "The Divination Commission simply does its best to uncover the good and the bad and then make the right decisions. We have no magical means to turn the tide."

"And that is precisely why we need you in charge. When it comes to handling clairvoyant Stellaron Hunters, who better than Fu Xuan the seer ?" Jing Yuan said with a proud smirk. "As for reinforcements, you didn't think I'd be unprepared, did you ?"

"Look next to you. Standing proud and tall is the former High Elder herself, a piece of what was meant to be boundless power." Jing Yuan said, gesturing to (Y/n) whose cheeks dusted red at the compliment. "I'd warrant that her power is enough to wipe out a whole platoon with a single swipe of her fan."

"And look," Jing Yuan said, gesturing for the two women to look behind them, where the team of the Nameless had arrived by the top of the stairs.

"Help has just arrived."

"Master Diviner, I brought you the guests." Said a young woman with the brightest emerald eyes (Y/n) had seen. "Though...it wasn't your order i received."

Fu Xuan let out a sigh before turning to give the general a look and a small smile. "So, General...even the guests are on the payroll these days ?" she asked and (Y/n) laughed softly.

"Well since they're already here, I may as well make use of them."

"Couldn't you phrase that a little nicer instead ?" (Y/n) said with a laugh. "You wanted to use flowery language to convey your feelings, but have no problem with revealing intentions."

"What can I say, princess ?" Jing Yuan laughed along. "Strike when the iron is hot, they say."

"Ah, Lady (Y/n) ! Are you alright ? Qingzu told us she had sent you here before us." March said, looking at (Y/n) worriedly, noticing that there was something a little different to (Y/n).

A much more...confident and royal air to the dethroned princess.

"I am fine. Thank you for worrying, March. Don't worry, there is nothing to fret over. I merely had...some enlightenment and answers to questions that have been gnawing away at me for some time now." (Y/n) said, a kind look in her experienced (e/c) eyes.

And she saw something in March click for a moment as she said that, but dared not voice her opinion. Especially not in front of the Master Diviner. Then the Nameless were beckoned to the side by Fu Xuan, and (Y/n) was left to talk to Jing Yuan, who she hadn't seen for a while.

"General..." she started before the hologram raised its finger close to her lips.

"Shh...none of that now, princess. Call me Yuan. No need for the formalities either, for we are closer that mere acquaintances, are we not ?" The lion general asked, and (Y/n) nodded, a soft blush on her cheeks as she was left with him alone to discuss.

"Y-yes..." she said softly, bowing her head a little in embarrassment. Locks of (h/c) hair fell forward, revealing the small trinket that dangled from her pointed ear.

And Jing Yuan noticed.

"(Y/n)..." he started softly before looking around to assess that it was only them that were listening in to their conversation and other pair of ears.

"Did you meet with Blade ?"

(Y/n) froze in her position, blood running cold and palms felt sweaty. Her (e/c) eyes wide with fear and horror. She cursed in her mind, forgetting that the windchime that hung from her ear.

She immediately got up, a hand to her ear as she looked at Jing Yuan with a small smile, trying to hide and lie her way out of the mess she had created. "N-no. Of course not--"

But she was cut off by his chuckle, finding the situation adorable and amusing. "No need to lie, princess. Not alot of craftsmen in the universe are able to create something as detailed and intricated but the man on the run."

"And I understand your past relation to him--" "That's not it, Yuan !"

"Oh ?" The General asked, looking at her with a little surprise in his golden eyes at the flustered woman before him. Then he smiled warmly and teasingly, as he took in the sight of the beautiful horned woman before him.

"Don't worry, princess, I don't mind sharing. But I don't intend to go down without a fight either." He said with a dark chuckle as he leaned in to (Y/n)'s ear.

"After all...lion's are quite possessive of what they are passionate about, right ?" He whispered into her ear.

As he pulled back, he relinquished in the sight of (Y/n)'s red face. Although he was merely a hologram, his sweet whispers felt almost real, as if his warm breath had really just brushed the shell of her horned ear, as if his fluffy white hair had tickled her bright horns perched proudly on her head like a crown of sorts.

Before (Y/n) could stutter out a reply, they were interrupted by a call of (Y/n)'s name by Fu Xuan. (Y/n) was about to leave, when she looked at Jing Yuan for one last time.

"Go, my moon. And remember. Whoever he was in the past, isn't the same as he is now. For both of them." Jing Yuan said, with an affirmative nod. "Trust your heart, and all will fall in place."

As (Y/n) gave him one last nod, she left, turning around to head towards Fu Xuan and the Nameless. The general kept watch of her as her figure grew more and more distant of him, his heart pounding in his chest.

He wanted to reach out to her, to hold her close and never let her go. He knew he was sending her into the face of trouble, but he couldn't let such a pretty bird keep her wings folded forever...

So he clenched his hand by his side, watching her walk away with a loving gaze in those usually cold and calculating honey-glazed eyes of his, his lips opening to whisper a small wish he heard her heart would reach if her ears didn't...

"I trust your judgement as much as I trust you with my heart, my love."

#dragon's cradle #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x you #hsr x reader #hsr jing yuan x reader #hsr jing yuan x you #hsr blade x reader #hsr blade x you #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #blade x you #blade x reader #hsr #hsr jing yuan #hsr blade

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dylanmunson · 2 years

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Eddie Munson / First time

18+

masterlist | wattpad | requests are open | eddie fic

i cant remember the last time i wrote smut? but i hope this is alright lol, and i picked eddie, cause although i dont mind writing fiction for joe this felt more right as an eddie fic.

word count :2.5k

/////////////

Eddie and I had just returned after our little date night, i say date night but it was really just a trip to the movies with steve and his 6 nuggets. Not that i minded, it was cute. I enjoyed our time together. Eddie opens the door to the trailer letting me walk in first, i sigh and sit on the sofa kicking my sofas off as eddie walks into the kitchen area.

"whats up doll?" he says "huh?" "youve had this look on your face" he chuckles coming around the corner with a glass of water in his hand. "whatcha mean eds" i mumble. He smiles softly sitting next to me, hand on thigh moving my body to face his. "this look sweetness" he grins running his thumb along my jaw. "like concentrating but not" he says raising a brow "whats on your mind my love?" he mumbles kissing the back of my hand.

I sigh and shrug "eds" i mumble he hums looking up at me "we've been together now for what like 3-4months?" i ask, he nods and kisses my hand again, pulling me into his lap. "the best 4 months of my life sweetness" he chuckles against my shoulder. "then why havent we had sex" i sigh covering my face. My cheeks going red, i pull away but eddie pulls me closer chuckling. "oh love" he grins kissing my forehead, then my hands which still cover my face. "sweetheart look at me" he grins, i peek through my fingers and the curly haired boy in front of me.

Him pulling my body closer, so im now straddling his lap. "we, we havent had sex yet because" he smiles moving my hands away from my face, and intertwining our hands "cause i know its your very, very first time and i want you to be ready" he mumbles softly, kissing my nose. "i mean im not like a complete virgin" i mumble looking at where our clothed bodies meet. "i didnt wanna rush into anything sweetheart" he smiles, i sigh looking at the doe eyed boy.

"and trust me, i wouldve bedded you long ago" he chuckles, i groan rolling my eyes "edward!" he chuckles "just wanted you to be ready" "well i am ready" i mumble, he smirks "yeah?" he mumbles moving his face closer to mine, i nod my head as our foreheads touch. "i need you to use your words love" he says "please eddie, want you so bad" i sigh, he grins putting his hand on the back of my neck and pulling me into for a kiss.

Its hot and heavy, but still got some sweetness to it. He grins biting my bottom lip as i whimper, "sweetheart" he chuckles "please" i mumble, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him back in for a kiss. Running my hands through his curls, letting out a little moan, grinding down on him slightly. He grunts into the kiss moving his hands to my sides, then my bum giving it a little squeeze. When theres a banging at the door. "ignore it" i mumble, moving to kiss his neck lightly. But it carries on.

Sighing i get up and let eddie go get the door "what the hell you doing here henderson?" he sighs.

Safe to say we did not get any further that night.

///////

It was now the following friday, and the whole gang had made plans to go to dustins to play dnd. Eddie had said he could be dm for the next campaign and little henderson was over the moon. I groan rolling out of bed, and walking over to the phone, debating on cancelling the evening, not wanting to be sitting in anyones basement but rather curled up in bed with my boyfriend watching shitty films. and possibly more.

I sigh and ring eddies home phone, twirling the phone cord inbetween my fingers as it rings. But theres no answer, i try a few more times and nothing. So i ring dustins home phone, knowing my nerdy other half is probably over there helping the young dm make sure everything is perfect for their game in a few hours.

"hey whats up?" he says, grinning, i cant see him but i know hes grinning. "oh uh hey dusty" i sigh "hey you ok?" he says, his voice turning softer. "uh is eddie there?" "oh shit yeah of course. EDDIE!" he shouts. Theres fumbling of the phone and shouting before eddie picks up "hello eddie the banished speaking how can i help?" he chuckles. "eds" i mumble "baby whats wrong?" he stops, his tone dropping "i just.. i miss you" i shrug, he chuckles "baby your seeing me in like an hour" "i dont wanna" i mumble, sighing "not feeling good" i sigh closing my eyes. Squeezing my thighs together, i felt fine, i was just really fucking needy for my boyfriend. "oh my baby, whats wrong?" he sighs, i hear movement on the other line and i rub a hand over my forehead. "just achy" i shrug. "o-ok, two minutes alright?" he says, before hanging up, i groan and put the phone down. "fuck you then munson" I sigh and lay down on the bed again.

Images of Eddie laying above me, kissing my neck and softly massaging my boobs run through my mind, i bite my lip and move my hand down to my clothed heat, rubbing myself a tiny bit. "fuck" i huff out "y/n are you ok hun?" my mum says knocking at the door. "umm yeah im fine" i say back, making myself decent as she walks in. "right well we're off out for the evening, see you later" she smiles, i nod waving good bye before i hear the door close and car drive away.

"hey princess" i hear as i enter the hallway, snacks in hand. "eddie!" i grin running and jumping up into his arms, he chuckles wrapping his arms below my bum, "thought you werent feeling well huh?" he chuckles, i groan hiding in the crook of his neck "shhh" he chuckles kissing my head "missed yooouu" i say moving my face to his and kiss him. "missed you too baby" he mumbles, moving us to the living area laying me on the sofa.

"is this what you wanted huh?" he grins, i nod pulling him down to kiss me again. Its hot and heavy and so god damn needy. "eddie, i- i need you" i say as he kisses my neck, "you sure?" i nod "please" i sigh, he nods "ok" he grins grabbing my hand and leading us upstairs.

I jump on the bed pulling eddie close as i do, his jacket now long gone. He begins placing kisses on my cheeks and neck as i tug at the hem of his shirt. "off.. please" i sigh, he chuckles pulling it off in one swift movement, i grin biting my lip running my hands down his chest. Sure i'd seen him topless countless times but hes so god damn gorgeous.

He comes back down to kiss me again, running a hand through his hair, trying to be as close as possible. Moaning into the kiss i buck my hips against his, making him grind against me "fuck" "so good sweetheart" he mumbles, moving to kiss at my neck again, biting a little but not enough to leave marks.

I tugging at his belt, and he just chuckles "sweet" he grins unbuckling it and sliding them down his legs "now this isnt fair is it" he chuckles, i smile softly, now sitting on my knees facing the boy "i want you eddie munson" i sigh putting my arms around his neck "take me. have me. im yours" i sigh, he nods pulling me into for another kiss, his hands roaming down my body finding just above my underwear to rest.

He pulls away and looks at me, i nod and grin "i trust you munson" i mumble kissing him again, he wastes no time in pulling them down and throwing them with the rest of the clothes, he moans against the kiss as he runs a finger between my folds, i moan quietly into the kiss as he does, making him chuckle.

"You alright sweet pea" he grins pulling away and looking down at what he's doing, nodding my head i throw my head back as he adds another finger, collecting my juices before slowly rubbing at my clit. "use your words love" he says moving down the bed so his head is rested on my thigh, i moan running a hand through his hair as he does, his lips ghosting over my right thigh as he adds more pressure while rubbing my clit. "eddie please" i moan pulling on his hair softly, he chuckles "please what baby" he mumbles kissing my thigh, moving his fingers lower, pushing one into me "oh fuck" i sigh closing my eyes.

He chuckles thrusting it slowly, "you like that?" he mumbles moving up and kissing below my ear, before adding another finger and kissing on my pubic bone, before licking from my entrance to my clit "fucking hell! yes eddie fuck" he chuckles against my clit, sucking on it while thrusting two fingers in and out slowly. The vibration from his laugh sending me over the edge "eds imma" i moan hums against my clit, his other hand moving to my thigh to give it a squeeze. "cum for honey" he says before going back to eating me out. "oh fuck" i sob, grabbing his hand and interlocking our fingers as i reach my high.

Head thrown back, thighs squeezing the poor boys head, loud moaning escaping my mouth, he grins looking up at me, dribble down his chin, he quickly wipes it away with his arm, "so so good sweetheart" he grins "so proud of you" he mumbles, coming up to place soft kisses over my face. "ready for more?" he sighs taking my ear lobe inbetween his teeth. "please" i sigh, reaching down taking his cock in my hand and pumping it, he sighs leaning his head against my shoulder "oh baby" he grunts before moving my hand away. He chuckles shaking his head "all about you right now ok" he smiles, kissing my nose. "buuuut" he leans back on his feet and points a finger at me grinning.

"now now" he chuckles, pumping his leaky cock a few times "you let me know if its to much alright?" he says i nod "words sweetheart, use your words" "yeah, please eddie, need you" i moan softly making grabby hands at the boy in front of me, he smirks before lining himself up at my entrance. "might hurt a little" he mumbles, pushing in slowly "ah" he nods placing his forehead on my shoulder, kissing the skin there, moving ever so slowly. "fuck" i moan as he begins filling me up, "wh-do-do you want me to stop?" he says looking at me with a hint of worry in his eyes.

I shake my head "no, no just move" i smile putting my hand on the side of his face, "please, need you so bad" i grin, he nods pushing the last little bit of his thick cock into me, holding on to my right thigh and kissing me roughly. I buck my hips up to try get him to move, but he stops me placing his hands on my hips "whoa sweet pea" he chuckles.

"ed, move" i grin at the boy "i dont wanna hurt you" he mumbles kissing my neck again "edddie please" i moan, grinding against his cock, biting his shoulder. "eddie please, fuck me" i sigh leaving a mark on his shoulder while grinding on him, the pleasure taking over "oh" i moan.

He looks down at me, before kissing the middle of my neck, picking up my right right and lifting it slightly before slowly thrusting. "fuck eddie shit" i moan, putting my hands on his chest, he nods biting his lip looking down at where our bodys join concentrating. He moves my thighs so the back of them are touching his chest, before leaning down and kissing me roughly again, "sh-fuc-ah" i gasp, the tip of his cock reaching further than a second ago. "shiii" he grunts into the kiss.

It full of heat, teeth and tongue.

He places a hand on the headboard and the other on my hip, letting my thighs drop to wrap around his waist. "gonna cum for me sweetheart" he moans, dropping his forehead to mine, i nod "use yours words sweetheart" he groans, moving his hand that was on my hip to my clit to rub circles. "fucking shit ed" i moan, he chuckles "harder" i mumble, he nods thrusting harder a tad bit faster. "fuck fuc" i moan, head thrown back eyes closed as i hit my high, legs tightening around the boy as he fucks me into next week. Eddie following soon after, him falling ontop of me soon after, our bodies still connected, but not bothered.

His limp cock still in me, stopping all the thick cum from dripping from my fucked cunt.

He places his head on my chest, running his fingers up and down my arm, i grin kissing his head "shit eds" i giggle, he chuckles looking up at me "what?" he grins "that was fucking hot, can i ride you next time" I feel his cock move in side of him, "oh" i grin down at him, he grins his cheeks turning red. "i love you eddie munson" i mumble kissing his forehead, he nods slowly moving out of me "ah" i sigh at the lose of body contact, as he gets up grabbing a towel and cleaning us up, "and i love you" he mumbles kissing my hips as he finishes cleaning up the mess we made. "mhmm" i sigh as he blows cool air on my abused cunt. "sensitive sweetheart" he smirks before laying beside me, pulling me into his side. "i love you y/n /yl/n" he nods. "should pretend to be sick more often" he chuckles "oh shit, you had" he grins kissing me.

"so fucking worth it" he chuckles "would miss dnd with those losers any night for this" he chuckles, "im so in love with you eddie munson" i sigh "and i you" he grins kissing my nose.

#eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson stranger things #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things #eddie munson headcanons #dylanmunson #mine

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yearningandpatheticaboutit · 9 months

Text

CHAPTER 14: I CANT STAND THIS ANYMORE

wc: 6054

tags: violence, attempted s/a, smut, angst, drugs

a/n: this chapter might be triggering for some people, read at your own risk.

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yaera

i havent been to one of these events since i was fifteen. that doesnt sound like a long time, but considering my sister was still alive then, it certainly felt like forever had passed.

the dress i was given is pretty at least. its black, has long sleeves and looks like it was designed for a sexy vampire. one good thing came out of this shitfest.

but the best part is, i can hide san's drugs within my outfit. im not stashing them in matching black purse because it'll get searched, but the tiny ziplock bags fit perfectly in my sleeves and boob area. this will truly be the riskiest thing ive ever done.

irina and the others even messaged me not to forget the stuff. im so focused on just getting that money the fear i had buried inside me hasnt completely resurfaced yet.

im staring at myself in the mirror, looking at my smokey eye make up. the black hair dye really gave me a morbid yet sexy aesthetic that im not bad about. if i could describe myself in two words, it would be exactly that, morbid and sexy.

the sexy part is what bothers me. i know there are people who would agree all too willingly with that. and its not my target audience.

my room door swings open and my mother walks in. theres a strange look on her face as she takes me in. we say nothing to each other for a few moments till she breaks the silence.

"bellisima," she says, almost under her breath. "we can really never go wrong with santo. he made you look like a princess, even if you look like you are going to a funeral."

my insides squirm at the mention of his name. i tried to ignore it, but the fear i felt in that bathroom is coming back full swing. im seeing him tonight. he'll be waiting for me.

"please don't do this again this year," i stiffly begged. "you need to find someone your own age Santo. I'm...I'm not the one."

santo cocks his head to the side and smirks. "and who told you that? who said you're not perfect for me?"

"i don't fucking want you," I hissed. his eyes widen slightly, more out of sick arousal instead of offense.

he advanced on me and i blinked, finding myself pressed against a stall. i whimpered and tried to wriggle out of his grip, but my arms were pinned to the side. oh my God, I'm going to be sick.

"but I want you, and you know that. so why don't you stop playing games," he whispered dangerously close to my ear. i shivered and my nausea kept tugging at my stomach.

"i'm your only chance at a respectable man. your parents already love me. so why don't you accept the love I have for you? you'll never find anyone like me, tesoro."

"i fucking hope so," i whispered, pinching my eyes closed. he moved his face infront of mine, hovering his lips over mine. I whined and wriggle, but he isn't fazed by my struggling.

"you're a big girl now, right?" he said lowly. "i think it's time you feel like a woman."

i snap out of that awful memory when my mother clicks her fingers infront of my face. "come on, hurry up! we are only waiting on you!"

i cant leave san's side tonight. no matter what.

when i get downstairs, my nearly feel the breath getting knocked out of me. he's standing there, looking more handsome than i've ever seen him. black hair slicked back, eyebrows done. the suit is sitting perfectly. its like he's the model here and not me. god i think im going to be sick.

he gives me a small smile but says nothing.

"doesn't she look perfect, amore mio?" my mother says to my father, who only gives an awkward smile of acknowledgement.

"the two of you can sit at the back of the limo. your mother and i will take the two front seats," my father says, then turns to san with a pointed finger. "dont get any ideas, boy. i know your headmaster personally."

san awkwardly laughs. "i would never, sir."

i try not to wonder how true that is. we pile into the limo and my parents keep looking at us through the rearview, making sure there's a significant gap between us. i look over to him and all the anger i felt before is just gone. i think im fucking whipped.

hes the most beautiful man ive ever seen.

"san..."

"you look really pretty," he tells me before i can say anything. saying that with the most expressionless face makes my face drop.

"oh-"

"i just wanted to say that. you really do."

i dont know what to say. the limo is dim so i dont know if he can see how flushed i feel. he leans forward and i think hes about to kiss me. i hope for it. i dont even care if my parents are nearby.

"where are you hiding the stuff?" he whispers. oh right, his drugs.

i show him my sleeves, how the pills are pressed finely between the folds. then i point to my bust. "others are in here," i say.

he chuckles lowly. "creative. you can give me some if you need more space."

if san gets caught with this my parents would end him. everything he worked to achieve would be gone in less than 2 days.

"i think i should keep it. just in case anything happens. you know, rich girl immunity."

san nods and leans back away from me, making me feel empty. "of course."

no words are exchanged between us for a few moments. so we're really going to pretend like the party didnt happen? did that mean it was never going to happen ever again. i dont want to sound desperate but my head is screeching for answers.

but i focus on what matters tonight. putting on a show. getting irina and the others their drugs and collecting payment. and most of all, escaping santo.

"san, can you do me a favour?" i ask.

he hesitates but nods anyway.

"dont leave my side tonight. please."

he rubs the back of his head nervously. "well, i am your date. and i dont know anyone else here."

god. he doesnt realize how bad i need him.thats the thing, i need him more than he needs me. i can never delete what i have on him. i never know when this will go sideways.

the party is at some hotel. when we get there, i can tell the reception is intimidating to san. the cameras, the flashing lights. the security. i grab his hand and he doesnt protest as we go inside. both of us get patted down by security guards, of course the drugs go undetected.

we go inside and the dinner set up is fancy as fuck. i look at san and i cant tell if hes forcing the coolness to not have a panic attack, but his face is blank. i spot irina and the others at a table and wave, my mother dragging us to a separate table with our name on it.

theres a stage with a massive projection screen, where a slideshow of the lingerie collection plays. i know at some point the pictures from the shoot will play out as well. im hoping to sneak off before then because i cant handle the embarrassment.

"so this is your life huh," san mutters next to me. i frown, his tone sounds disappointed.

"whats wrong?" i ask.

"nothing. just...i cant believe it sometimes."

hes been acting so weird. is he insecure? fuck i.dont even know where to start placing questions. my stomach sinks a little at his tone. i guess he'll never get it. he doesnt understand what im really running from. i doubt he ever will. that class disconnect will keep beating our ass.

to him, anything is better than being in a gang. i guess hes right. but that doesnt mean there arent things out there that would make you want to kill yourself. i would know.

santo walks out on the stage and everyone starts clapping like this is the oscars. "good evening everyone, buenos noches, buonasera, and everything else! welcome to the launch of the new Cosa Pericolosa brand. a brand distinct for its dangerous yet delicate beauty, made of the finest Italian lace and silk. i want to thank everyone for coming to celebrate and enjoy this milestone. there will be dancing and there will be a party, saluto!"

as soon as he gets off that stage, i see his face find my parents table. hes coming straight for us. i instantly grab san's hand under the table. he turns to me utterly confused, but i cant deal with that right now.

"mi famiglia!" santo loudly says and kisses my parents on the cheek. he gets to me and does the same, his kiss lingering on me longer than i wanted. i suppress a shiver. "tesoro, you look beautiful in the dress i picked! im so glad to see everyone here!"

"we could not have done it without you, santo!" my mother gushes. "you look so handsome!"

"ah, you are making me shy. it is really you people who are stealing the show, wait till you see how the pictures turned out!" he laughs obnoxiously, turning to smile at me.

"im so glad you are here, tesoro. it is good to finally have you back. your sister would be proud of you."

"thank you, santo." i force a smile. when really i want to scream. dont fucking bring her up, i want to scream it. but i force a stupid, docile smile. fuck if this night goes on for any longer, i might end up doing these drugs myself.

"hold on, who is this," santo finally acknowledges san. he holds out his hand to him. "i am santo falcone. but you can call me santo, you are?"

"that is yaera's date," my mother chimes in as san awkwardly takes his hand. "san choi. he is a classmate."

"oh," santo's smile tightens and he glances at me. "just a classmate?"

my father forces a laugh. "of course. do you know me? she can meet someone when it is time to get married."

santo grips san's hand for an uncomfortable amount of time till he ends up needing to rip it away. "nice to meet you, san choi. excuse me, i will return to you all. i have to greet the other guests and then have them run the music. you all enjoy the night."

he leaves, giving me a weird look before going. is he fucking jealous? does he seriously think he owns me? i dont know how my sister worked with him. hes so fucking creepy and somehow that never came up between us.

irina and the others arrive at our table next, greeting my parents with hugs and kisses. "can we steal yaera for a second? she looks so gorgeous!" claire says, gushing.

"no really, i want to rip that dress off you!" anya says. my mother rolls her eyes and laughs.

"please girls, bring her back in one piece for the show." my mother says. a smirk i know to be devious grows on irina's lips.

"oh we will, dont worry, mrs marino."

im so happy to get up from that table. san grabs my dress and looks up like a lost kid. "where are you going? dont leave me by myself here," he says under his breath.

awww hes so awkward. "ill be right back. dont miss me too much."

his eyes are desperate and his smile is so forced its hilarious. "youre really going to leave me with your parents?"

"dont worry she'll be back!" anya tells him, noticing him holding my dress. "your boyfriend is so clingy, yaera."

i can tell san is trying not to murder her with his glare. not more can be said because im whisked away. we end up in the bathrooms that look like something out of the louvre. anya and claire start taking mirror selfies while irina starts putting the money down on the sink.

"all of it is here, you can count it yourself. now where are the stuff?" she says. i start unrolling my sleeves, taking four of the bags out, getting the other five from my boobs.

anya and claire quickly come scrambling. "oh god, finally!" claire says. "we've been waiting so long."

"is it really that good?" i wonder, their relief is crazy to see. "better than what you already do?"

"alone its okay. but together with what we already do? a fucking trip to the skies," irina shakes her head with a smile. "ive never been so glad to know you, marino."

mixing drugs. that doesnt sound smart. but what do i know? im not the addict.

i smile and take the money, folding it back into my boobs. "youre welcome. and you know if you need more, where to call me."

"of course. and you better answer."

"your boyfriend is so fucking hot yaera," anya says with a sigh. "hes literally gorgeous. where did you find him?"

"careful, you cougar. you cant be talking about an 18 year old like that," i joke.

"im not even twenty three shut the fuck up!" she shoves at my shoulder.

"so he is your boyfriend?" claire smiles. the three of them coo like children when i start blushing.

"im getting there guys," i say. "hopefully soon."

"what do his parents do? he looks like a model himself." claire says.

"you know this is yaera, hes probably crazy as fuck. like the last one, what was his name?" irina chimes in with a snort. "i bet this one is the reason she has drugs in the first place."

i scowl at her. shes right but i hate that she read me so easily. "bitch, just enjoy my services. goddamn it you people are nosy."

she raises an eyebrow. "am i right though?"

i roll my eyes and start to leave, saluting on my way out. "im getting back now to my date now, goodbye ladies."

luckily when i get out, theres music playing and people are on the floor. san is sitting alone by the table, taking random sips out of a champagne glass. im so excited. i actually got money back for us. i throw my hands onto his shoulders and smile widely, unable to hold my excitement.

"so guess who collected their first payment?"

san's eyes widen. "all the money there?"

"every last note. so i think to celebrate we should dance."

san frowns and cringes. "i dont dance. im fine here."

i roll my eyes and grab his hand, pulling him up with a hard tug. "is it a sin for you to do ANYTHING fun? the music is playing and we have something to celebrate, come on."

he sighs and gives in with a lame smile. "fine."

i lead him to the dancefloor, swinging my arms around his neck. san's hands drop to my lowerback as we sway and i cant ignore the happiness bubbling in my brain. i cant stop smiling.

"you seem really happy," he notes. "you're getting a big head from your first payment huh?"

"of course. its just what i needed to prove myself to you. that i can pull my weight and that im not just some liability."

"i never said that-"

"yes you did san. many times." i remind him, and his cheeks flush from.embarrassment. "i can even quote you on it if you want?"

"please dont," he chuckles under his breath. "fine, i guess you can pull your weight."

his dimples are piercing through. i stare at him mesmerized and i cant even hide it. i bet if i was a cartoon in this very moment, i'd be having stars in my eyes.

"you're perfect, you know that?" i say without thinking.

san's eyes widen, then darken in seconds. "what?" his voice is just barely together.

"i want to kiss you again," i admit. "i think its all i'll want for a really long time."

i lightly stroke his cheeks, seeing them go rosey. this is all i have. the only thing that shows me that i do affect him.

his eyes dart down to my lips and i shrink the distance between us, till we're just barely a centimeter apart.

"i dont want you to think about it," i tell him. "just do whatever you want in the moment. thats all that matters."

"yaera..." he gulps, then takes a step back. "i-i dont know about this. lets just...this isnt good. for either of us."

"says who?" i scoff.

"says me. you and i should just stay business partners. strictly business. anything else wont end well for either of us."

hearing that makes my heart shatter and my stomach drop. fuck i can feel my eyes filling with water. i try to choke.it down but i know its obvious.

"so you're just gonna.pretend we never kissed at that party?" i lay down my arms from his neck. "youre just going to pretend that never happened?"

san stops dancing and gives me a curt nod. "i think its best we do. we both know i just represent something to you. something forbidden. thats why you want me right? because im someone you cant have."

i laugh bitterly. "i cant fucking believe you."

i feel a tear drop. san sees it and frowns. "yaera wait-"

i swat his hands away from me. "you are such a fucking dick."

i get off the dancefloor and run somewhere. i dont know where. im just walking, looking for a place to break down and sob. god this is so embarrassing. im so fucking pathetic.

i stop infront of a random room and twist the door handle. its unlocked, thank god. i go inside and fall onto the bed, my chest instantly getting wrecked. i start sobbing horrifically, unable to believe how awful i feel right now.

whats wrong with me. what is legitimately wrong with me. why was he so cold? am i not pretty enough for him or something? this cant just be about the business. i refuse to believe it. and even if it is, why do i feel so worthless?

everytime jongho has rejected me and made me feel like nothing but a stupid slut flashes infront of me. the feeling stabs me like a knife.

that must be it. thats probably what he sees me as. a stupid, desperate evil slut. all i do is throw myself at him. even at that party, i couldnt wait to be all over him. im pathetic. and desperate. i should just die.

my gloves are soaked. i cant believe how much im crying. maybe i should go back to therapy. maybe i wasnt coping as well as i thought i was.

i look up into the mirror stand, seeing my make up absolutely ruined. my entire face is red, and my hair is sticking to my soaked cheeks. i look like shit.

suddenly i remember why i stayed away from men in the first place. because im too fucking sensitive. my mood depends on them. my self worth is a reflection of how much they like me. they control whether i feel emotional highs and emotional lows.

i start laughing at myself. i cant believe i got myself into this kind of fuckery again.

the door opens suddenly, making me jolt. santo comes in and closes the door behind him, smiling tightly. i jerk up and start stumbling back, backing myself into a wall to be far away from him.

"what are you doing here?" i ask, my voice shaking.

"i saw you dancing with that...child," he slowly laughs, his tone sounding bitter. "you have no business being with someone like him, tesoro."

"santo-"

"do you know how fucking sick i felt?" he snaps, stalking like a dangerous animal. "seeing you with him? while you wear the dress i picked out for you?"

being alone was a mistake. i try to dart for the door but he grabs me and picks me up, covering my mouth with his hand. he throws me onto the bed, forcing his bodyweight on top of me. im frozen, i cant move. every karate class ive taken, all my knowledge on hurting someone just vanishes. hes on top of me and i cant move.

im sobbing again. he presses his finger to my lip, hushing me.

"i should be the only one who takes this dress off you tonight," he whispers. he starts lowering the top, leaving the top of my chest exposed. "dont cry, tesoro, you'll feel so much better after. ive been waiting for this for so long..."

"no please, santo," i beg through my tears. "please just leave me alone. please just-"

theres a few knocks on the door. "yaera, is that you? can i come in?"

that's san's voice. santo clamps his palm over my lips again and i scream.through them. its muffled. i start struggling and kicking but he wont get off me. he forces his hand harder. "fucking stop," he growls at me.

the door swings open anyway. san barges in and santo quickly jumps off me, suddenly on the other side of the room. san looks between us, frozen in his feet.

"what, did anyone say you could fucking come in?" santo screams. san stays staring between us, his face absolutely blank. santo scoffs and adjusts his suit jacket before storming out and slamming the door.

i sit up on the bed, looking at san through blurry eyes. i cant even find my voice. i cant even deal with what just happened.

"did he try..." san trails off, shaking his head at me. he rushes to sit down next to me. i cant help it, as soon as he wraps his arms around me i start bawling again.

"i cant fucking breathe. san please i just want to get away from here. please can we just leave."

he softly rubs the side of my head as he holds my face in his chest. "lets go. we'll go away from here. far away from.here. anywhere."

***

san

i dont even know where to start.

yaera and i ordered an uber from the hotel, disappearing with the permission of her father, saying she felt sick and she needed to go home. they werent happy but yaera's distraught face convinced them. they have no idea what the fuck happened tonight. they were sitting with that same guy that night.

hell, i dont even know what happened. but i could put two and two together.

yaera and i havent said a word to each other. shes passed out on my chest all the way to my apartment. i have to carry her on the way in. i have to put her down on her feet when its time to go into my apartment, and she hangs on my arm the entire time.

"you sure you fine with this?" i ask her. she nods wordlessly.

i let her inside, and she makes her way to my bed where she falls hopelessly. i go and sit down beside her, not knowing what to say. i dont know any words that can fix what happened tonight.

i know so much about her, but tonight...it made me realize i know nothing.

"this isnt the first time it happened," she says, her voice low and defeated. "the first time he did it...i was fifteen. he touched the inside of my thigh in a dressing room and kept trying it till i never went back. i never told my parents...or my sister."

i dont say anything. i let her speak.

"he told me he would never let me go. that he was in love with me. he tried so many times. at my own house. and everytime i would end up in the hospital...my parents would blame me. they would say that i was acting out. i didnt know how to tell them. they treated santo better me and my sister. hes a saint to them."

i feel my head heating up. a rich prick predator piece of shit. he deserves to disappear. he deserves to fucking rot.

i bet miss A could make a bastard like him disappear really quickly.

i take her hand and gently rub my thumb over her knuckles. i feel terrible. the only reason he was able to follow her was because of me.

"so thats why you asked me to not leave your side," i realized. "so you wouldnt be alone with him."

"he gets jealous of every man who comes near me," yaera's tears leak onto my pillow. "i thought if he saw you...he would really leave me alone this time. but it just...it made him more aggressive. he tried to..."

i pull her up and bring her into another hug, gripping her tightly. it felt like if i let her go that i'd never hold her again. that feeling terrifies me. i hate it so much.

"i'll never let him hurt you again," i swear. "i'll fucking kill him. just say the word and i will."

"i want him off my skin, san," she tells me pleadingly. "i dont want to feel him ever again. i want to scratch my skin off and be clean. i want to feel clean again."

"you arent dirty, yaera. hes the fucking filthy one for putting his hands on you," i hold her face in my hands. shes delicate, like porcelain. her eyes, that are usually so menacing and careless are filled with sadness. "youre perfect. you dont deserve that, dont for a second blame yourself. you're perfect, do you hear me?"

"if im so perfect then why dont you want me?" she whimpers. my blood runs cold. fuck how can she hit me with such a heavy loaded question.

theres no point in lying anymore. this is the last situation where i can lie.

"im scared," i admit. "im scared of you. and this. and everything. ive never had something like this, ive never had someone this close to me. i dont know how to handle it. ive been alone for so long i dont know how to let anyone be near me. i never let myself have anything. i always let go."

"please let me be there," she whispers in a tone i cant refuse. "please dont let me go. let yourself have this. let yourself have me."

my chest hurts. this night isnt going at all how i thought it would. its too much. i dont know what to say to yaera. i find my eyes feeling heavy. she takes my face in her hands again and i know she wants to kiss me. fuck it, this is the worst time. but at this point, there isnt ever a right time.

i go in for it and kiss her first. her lips are soft and velvety, and she melts against mine instantly. we start to lose our softness, with yaera pulling me closer and closer. its like she wants to take all the oxygen out of me. her kiss is hard, like a cry for help, like im all the air she'll ever need.

she breaks the kiss and drags her lips down my neck, making me shudder. yaera makes her way onto my lap and i dont fight it, her legs wrapping around me tightly as her dress rides up her thighs.

the kisses turn hot and i feel my brain losing sense. this wont end here, i know it. i want to stop it. i drag my willpower from the floor to break our kiss and she stares at me, frowning with swollen lips.

"is this really a good time?" i ask seriously. "you're really emotionally vulnerable right now. after what happened tonight, do you really think-"

"san," she interrupts me, pressing another kiss to my lips. "my life has been one big emotional fucked up moment, i want to forget. i want to have this, im so fucking dead inside. i want to feel alive again."

she stops showering me with warm pecks and looks me dead in the eye. "will you give me that?"

i hold her face again. my chest feels warm thinking about how no one sees her like this. her pain. but she trusts me enough. she lets me see it.

"i'll give you whatever you want tonight. i promise."

those words were all she needed. yaera slides her hands over my chest, pushing the suit jacket off. her hands move fast, flicking open every button till my chest is bare.

she presses her lips to mine again, her fingers tugging at my hair. i moan at the pull, surprising myself and her. she breaks the kiss and smiles down at me.

"i could get used to that sound," she teases. something stirs in me. she's so hot.

i move my hands to the back of her dress, finding the zipper. i dont break eye contact, and her smile only grows as the dress starts falling apart on her.

i slowly drag my lips down her neck, and she lets out a shiver. i fight my smile and continue to leave hot, soft kisses down her shoulder, moving down to her barely hidden cleavage. yaera harshly pulls the dress down, having rolls of money fall out and exposing her chest.

***

yaera

san stares at me after my boobs stare at him. there's a dazed look in his eyes that disappears once he lowers his mouth onto my one boob and grabs a hand full of the other.

i throw my head back, lost in a cloud after feeling his warm mouth. he starts sucking and massaging, rolling circles over my nipple. this is heaven. or something close to it definetely.

i feel my thighs tightening, warmth seeping down from my lower stomach. i try to stifle my moans, my mouth just barely gasping. he looks up at me, pausing on his motion. "you dont have to hold back. i told you i'll give you anything you want tonight," he whispers.

i hold his face with both my hands, feeling like i could cum from just staring into his eyes. "i only want you," i admit direly. i'll take anything he gives me. "but rubbing on you would be nice too."

he leans back, making me yearn. "okay, open wider."

hearing those words just makes me hotter. i get up from his lap and completely remove my dress, both of us just ignoring all the money on the floor. san's eyes hang on my every movement. im in nothing but black lace, and i dont waste time in throwing myself on his lap again, legs parted and ready.

he brings his lips to mine again, both softly and yet completely taking them as his own. his hand slips between my thighs, slowly trailing up like hes carressing fragile ceramics. i shiver as he gets closer to me, his hand finally slipping onto the base of me. he drags his thumb down my clothed folds, wrapping his arm around my waist to pull me closer.

i try to focus on kissing him, dragging my teeth down to his neck. i lose myself when he starts rubbing me with both fingers, feeling that jolt of warmth coursing through me.

my mouth is parted as my face is buried in his neck, pathetic whimpers pumping out of me. san starts going in circles, right in the perfect spot. i do myself the favour and move the fabric to the side, his warm fingers completely melting inside me as he pumps them in and out.

i know im doomed when i hear myself squelching. his rhythm is perfect, not too slow and not too fast, just enough for me to completely feel him and fade cloudily. i feel my high coming, my thighs starting to tense and my grip on him tightening. i start to kiss him frantically, till san keeps pushing his fingers faster. i feel like a hot coil, going and going till before i know it, im dripping all over his fingers.

i collapse onto his lap and he slowly drags them out, and i hear him prop them into mouth. i look at him with an accomplished smile on my face, shaking my head.

"you sick fuck, did you just taste me?"

san shrugs with a small smile on his face. "yeah, can you blame me?"

i cant contain myself, i kiss him again. i dont even feel close to done. "let me do something for you now?" i say against his lips.

"mmm mmm," san shakes his head, gently gripping my waist. "i just want you to feel good. do you?"

i nod. "i feel better than ever. but really, you dont want anything?"

he lets out a heavy sigh. "i didnt want to tell you this, but you feeling things makes me...feel things."

oh he just became ten times hotter.

i realize it now, while sitting so close to him, i can feel his massive boner poking me through his pants. i smirk to myself, getting an idea.

"oh no, you have that look on your face again," san mutters, moving my hair back. "what are you thinking?"

"readjust your friend. so i can sit on him."

san goes quiet, but i can feel him pulsing underneath me. its sensation is sending me into fucking heat all over again.

"i dont think we should go too far," he says. "dont get me wrong, i want to. i really do. but i dont think you're feeling hundred percent...after everything."

my smirk drops. i dont want to think of him. not right now. not while i have san's hands all over me. but i guess its not a good look if i do just jump his bones after everything that happened.

he holds my face in his hands and squeezes after i say nothing. "and dont think its because you're not pretty or anything. seriously, i dont know why you would even say that."

i shrug. my black and white state of thinking has never really helped me.

san picks up a pillow up and tosses it against the wall. "come on, lets fall asleep. we can talk again in the morning."

"okay," i mutter. i dont know what else to say. i get off him and and crawl into his bed. san follows after, his hot skin completely blanketing me as he puts his arm over my body and draws me against him.

"are you gonna act like nothing happened tomorrow again?" i ask.

silence.

"no. stop worrying."

his curt words dont register in my brain, because he places a warm kiss on my shoulder. it doesnt take me long to completely drift to sleep.

***

wooyoung

wooyoung knows he fucked up. he knows its all fucked up, he just doesnt know when he's going to tell san about it.

miss A is looking at him with cold eyes, he cant even utter a word because of the fear inside him. seonghwa is sprawled out on a broken couch, horrific burns all over him. hes barely alive, but he had it in him enough to tell everyone about what went down at the warehouse.

"changbin is dead, you know this right?" miss A tells him.

"yes, ma'am," he utters pathetically.

"so you know what you and lucky have to do."

he knows he cant stay a bitch in this gang for long. he knows its going to get real. petty stuff is all wooyoung is used to. extortion, scamming people. when he watched yunho die, a fear he thought was so far away just flashed infront of his eyes. he knew he'd come to be on the other end someday.

"you find that man...and you bring me his hand. or else, i'll have yours."

***

A/N: pls this chapter was a mess im sorry and it took forever to write , the next will be better 😭😭😭😭

NEXT CHAPTER

tagslist: @yujispinkhair @brown88 @sansonlygf

#ateez angst #ateez imagines #choi san angst #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez scenarios #choi san #choi san fluff #san angst #gang au #ateez smut #choi san smut

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luvjordie · 8 months

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steve harrington x fem (implied) reader, college au, part 1 <3

summary: you’ve never really been fond of steve harrington. but your best friend is his roommate and theyre hitting it off pretty good, so you just might have to see him every day for the next four years. so maybe making him slightly more tolerable wouldnt hurt..

The books weighed heavy in my arms as i stood outside of the crappy off campus apartment my best friend now lives in. Sure, i havent been inside yet, but knowing Eddie, i was 1000% sure that it was some sort of fucked up. I had knocked a few seconds ago, and behind the door i could hear Eddie tripping over shit in his journey to let me in.

“Hellooo, M’lady.” He smiled brightly, taking the top half of my book load, and letting me into the dorm.

“Stop calling me that, asshole.” I snorted, closing the door behind me with a bump of my hip.

“Nope. Not until you finally decide to visit me for a reason other than making me study. We havent even started classes yet, you freak” He chuckled, making his way into the small kitchen area for a what i thought was a beer. Until he pulled two of like 13 juice boxes out of the small fridge.

“Its that.. Is that a juice box, Edward?” “Okay i can explain. My roommate is totally the party animal type, so all my good stuff stays in my room. Actually I think you might, oh i dont know, i think you might know him.” He shrugged, smirking and handing me my juicebox.

“Doubt it, never left Hawkins in my whole life. Now enough bull, I need to finish making my flashcards before classes start, which one is your room?” I said, looking through the doors to find the messier of the two.

“Y/N, Honey, thats not-“ Eddie tried to help, but I was determined to start the stupid flashcards. Until I found out who his goddamn roommate was.

“Your roommate is Steve Harrington?” I looked up at Eddie, who was now leaning against the doorframe, looking at me smugly.

“His roommate is Steve Harrington. Nice to see you four eyes. Someone grew over the summer, lost the glasses too, I see?” He smirked, placing the box in his arms labeled “hair shit” on his bed carefully.

“Im nineteen years old, dickhead. I dont grow anymore, and yes I lost the glasses. Eddie please show me to your room, I would like to start my flashcards”

“Shes still like this? Come on Y/n/n, loosen up a little I mean you got out of Hawkins. Its time for you to learn that life isnt all about having your nose in a book.” He said, leading you and Eddie into the living room as he spoke.

“Aw ive been upgraded from four eyes. Im flattered. And Harrington, youre only here because your daddy has money, so its not like youve ever needed to have your nose in a book.” Before Steve could shoot back, Eddie started speaking.

“Okay so now might not be the best time to mention this, but we are kinda trying to plan a movie night right now. So if you arent going to help, I do recommend going to get your roommate.” He asked, eyebrows raised in amusement, as him and Steve silently agreed over tape choices.

“How the hell did you drag Robin into this already Harrington?” I asked, throwing myself onto their slightly uncomfortable couch.

“What do you mean?,” He smirked, “Buckleys my best friend. She is also on snack duty, so if you decided not to stay, be a doll and tell her to hurry up, would you?”He said, leaving the area to go back to his room for more tapes. I groaned loudly, as Eddie aggressively took a seat next to me.

“You knew, and still let me come over? I hate you so much right now, Munson.” I said, laying my head on his shoulder, his crazy hair falling over my eye’s slightly.

“I know, but Harrintons not as bad as he used to be. I promise, M’lady” I could hear the amusement in his voice as he said that. The two of us just sat there in silence for a bit, until Steve came back, and assigned me to ‘decorate the shitty couch duty’.

“I have homework you know, Steve.” I said, snatching the stack of blankets from him. I couldnt see at the time, but Eddie had literally just walked out of the door.

“And I have a movie night to finish planning.” He stated plainly. Something about him and his indifference towards college was really frustrating. But I guess it was to be expected. Hes Steve Harrington.

“You know, former four eyes,” you rolled your eyes at the new nickname, “Im not going anywhere. Youre going to have to get used to me.” He said, placing the stack of tapes planned for later on the Tv stand.

“Youd be much more tolerable if you werent such a.. A you. You party until three in the morning, and dont care if someone ralphs on your lawn. You dont study, you charm your way into passing grades. And we still ended up in the same school. Theres no getting used to that.”

“Well you know, coexisting with you isnt making my life all sunshine and rainbows either. You study, and you study and you study. You get amazing grades, without having to wink at 100 year old teachers. Your friends like you for.. you, not your parents money. So id say its gonna take a while for me to get used to you too.” We were standing in a very awkward silence now, neither caring if Eddie was standing behind either one of us, and if he was its not like we’d notice.

“I have an idea.” I said. I can’t believe youre doing this Y/n. “You dont like that im smarter than you, right? What if.. What if I helped you study?” I could tell he was skeptical, and so was I. I didnt know what hell i was getting myself into then.

“Whats in it for me?” He said, bending down in front of the couch to start moving the equally shitty coffee table.

“You get to teach me how to have a good time,” Seeing the look on his face I felt the need to elaborate. Loudly, “NOT THAT WAY. I mean you can, take me out on the town or whatever it is you do. Bowling, drinking, dancing, whatever the hell it is you deem fun.” Now he was smiling and I couldnt tell if it was a smile that should make me embarrassed and run full speed, and probably trip, out of the apartment.

“Okay. But, i get to pick where I take you and when. You can pick what we study I guess. Hey maybe that stick thats been up your ass for the last nineteen years will finally disappear.”

“Haha, very funny Steve. Im being serious though. You teach me to not be a prick, I make you less of an absolute dumbass, and hope it makes you more tolerable.” I absolutely could not believe id even offer to do something like this, but there was no way in hell id spend the next four years hating his guts. Im with Eddie 25/8 and apparently hes tight with Robin. Hating Steve would fuck everything up. Which is why i wasn’t entirely suprised when he said,

“Okay. But only because id pay good money to see you consume alcohal, Y/n/n.” He said, a somewhat serious, and very rare, look on his face.

“Cool. Cool cool cool. So you think we should like.. plan it? Or is not planning things part of the Steve Harrington Slutty Popular Rich Kid experience?” I asked, as began to turn the coffee table around to make a little snack stand. Creative.

“Oh it’s definitely part of the experience. But planning might help, hows after the movie sound?”

“I have to study after the movie, Steve. Im already moving it back because of your spontaneous attack movie night. “

“So after the movie? Perfect”

A/N: posting is literally so inconsistent but i have like a total of 45 minutes of free time every day- but once i get my schedule n stuff down ill def post more😍🤞 so p2 prob coming soon! if u have ideas for this mini series dm me im so uncreative rn💀

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #stevie #x reader #college au

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reineyday · 1 year

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I wanna know about 1 and 2 on that list of wips!

!!! the billy ones!!!

billy has the right to be mad at the party for not even trying to save him

uhh this one is (was?) a wip that im trying to reorganize. i wanted it to be a s4 au where eddie, nance, steve & rob are in the upside down like canon, and find billy there. when billy shows himself to be knowledgeable about the area, what's been going on, and on vecna, both nancy and steve start talking to him like he's automatically gonna help them and then billy's like "uh no fuck you, get out yourselves." and it's shooting himself in the foot bc theyre he didnt even know he could leave till they showed up, but also he's had months and months alone in this hell with the guy who possessed him, and plenty of time to relive the way nancy and steve came at him with their cars and their guns so fuck them. he ends up helping cuz he's bot stupid and wants out but stull yknow. he'll be mad about it. it's still harringrove tho LOL.

my first draft of this accidentally turned into this billy & eddie friendship short fic by mistake (which u commented on! thank u!). actually, answering this really helped me out w figuring out the plot better so double thanks! 🥰

knock knock bitch

IVE BEEN SO EXCITED ABT THIS IDEA RECENTLY LOL it's a crack-taken-seriously fic that starts in max's scene with vecna in "dear billy" where she's up against the wall in that house with vecna's hand up against her face, and before he gets her or she escapes, billy's voice interrupts with a loud "KNOCK KNOCK BITCH," actually knocking on what passes for a door in the upside down creel house door, and then he comes in with a hairspray flamethrower and vecna roars like "not you AGAIN" but billy's already spraying flames at vecna and grabbing max's wrist and running.

she's panicked and confused, and then gets more panicked and confused when billy starts yelling to head over to base three and she's like??? what??? but then notices he's not yelling at her and she looks up to see chrissy cunningham, fred benson and patrick mckinney--the coma kids???--running and keeping pace with her and billy, and they all have their own makeshift weapons (billy's got an axe strapped to his back, chrissy also has a hairspray flamethrower and a bat on her back, patrick's got a crowbar and a broken hockey stick fashioned into some sort of spear, and fred has?? a crossbow????), and they all seem to know where theyre running.

there's more plot about how jason ends up starting his witch hunt against eddie and the living statuses of all of them, but yeah, the premise is that billy's been running around in the upside down being a general asshole to vecna and saving the s4 gate kids and teaching them how to survive, and ive become attached to their weapons and the kinds of conversations they have at night. they work out together to keep their cardio up. billy and patrick have talked about their abusive parents. chrissy's taught them all cheer maneouvers that have helped them get out of tight spots. fred has an archery hobby cuz i think he'd be best at long range considering how he's the only one that's not a jock lol.

max is the one that finally brings in the knowledge of how they might be able to get back to their bodies--theyve been stuck in comas, some of them with a gnarly twisted limb or two, but otherwise fine--and they start questioning how billy's there, and if he has a body in a coma too that no one knows about. 👀 havent figured out what to do about the music element waking them up thing yet tho, since max & the party already know about it at that point, and that would end the coma plot point early... yeah.

thanks for asking!!! and for always replying so kindly to my comments on ao3 lol i know u fielded a whole bunch of them just recently. cheers!!

#rei replies #rei writes #stranger things #billy hargrove

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eddiiiieeee · 5 months

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life update

so this month has been shit. my grandpas anniversary came up on the 8th. and the problems i mentioned before with my mom, oh and today. i cried again since Eddie (my ex). Saul broke up with me, i had two panic attacks, one in the middle of my arabic class, and another during english. yesterday i told him how i havent been feeling well and he told me to figure what i want out and text him but till then hes tired and going to sleep (we were doing long distance because he lives in argentina and i live waaaaay far away.) today during my arabic class i texted him and he told me hes breaking up with me, said that he loves me and cares for me but yet he thinks its whats good for us both. he proceeded to continue to tell me he loves me while i begged him not to and i ended up telling him that i will not forgive him for what hes doing and that i hate him for how hes hurting me, i logged out of the account and then in the afternoon during english, i checked and he ended up saying that he couldve up and left me but he didnt because he cares about me and loves me which is why he talked to me about it. and he replied to my other texts saying "sorry bye" and he removed me on snap as well as tiktok because those are the only things he had me on. (i checked snap on my laptop rn and his accounts gone, idk if its the same on my phone). i went to the bathroom while im shaking and like trying to breathe, and i called my best friends but only one picked up because she had a study period. after me and her talked for a bit anout what happened, i suddenly couldnt breathe, just completely couldnt for i dunno how long and then i just started sobbing. then when i was able to calm down, i got to class again and afterwards had a smoke session with the best friend i was talking to's sister. i met up with my best friend who didnt pick up and we walked back to our building, cuz we had class in a diff building. we found some of our close friends in this little garden area we have n sat there because after the smoke session i was gripping the railing in the staircases, as well as my best friends arm because i felt like throwing up and passing out. and at that moment i just started sobbing again and shaking, after a while of my friends attempting to calm me down, my business teacher saw me and i told her i was fine she said obviously im not if im this distraught but if i need her i know where her office is. i had a talk with my old chem teacher because i trust him and cuz my music teacher (was mentioned before) had a lesson. everyone tried to get me to cheer up, one friend just held me (which i needed i love being held), one jumped up and kicked his feet while impersonating mickey mouse, the friend who answered my call sang arabic lulibies for me and then niki manaj, my friend who was at the garden area started singing cupcake songs, my friend who didnt pick up my call just stuck with me the entire day and made sure i drank enough water even tho i didnt eat at all even tho she tried, my other friend checked up on me every five minutes and during our lessons together, a bunch of my other friends tried to cheer me up. but nothing worked and i dont think i can just explain how exhausted and tired and drained i am rn.

#eddie munson × reader #80s aesthetic #animated gif #classic rock #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson #wayne munson #corroded coffin #robin buckley #stranger things s4 #guitar #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #stranger things imagine #stranger things fluff #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson × female reader #80s rock

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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Hi, im not sure if this is the right place to ask but I need a little help. Me and my boyfriend havent been communicating very well recently, and a part of that is because he age regresses and sometimes i dont always notice right away and i do things that overwhelm or upset him (like asking too many questions). I'm not sure how to help him when he's age regressed because he cant properly communicate his needs sometimes. When he's not age regressed, i try to ask him what i should do in advance but his answer is always just "i dont know" or "just dont ask too many questions" which is valid and i understand that, but i still find myself having trouble interacting with him when hes regressed. I know he does it because of trauma, and I even age regress too so i know sort of what its like but ive come to realize that we dont have the exact same experience while regressing and i find it hard to understand him. I cant understand why he always avoids answering questions and why it seems he ignores me and i dont know how to bring it up/handle it. Any tips? Thank you in advance

Hey nonny!

I recommend telling how it feels to you when he doesn't really answer or avoids your questions, so maybe he will try to give you better answers in the future if he can. He also may not know the answers to those questions himself, which is okay but will require just a little more perception from you.

I recommend maybe a certain bracelet or stuffie or pin or something that he can carry or put on him when he's in little space so that you know without having to ask or without upsetting him. I also suggest taking note of things he tends to like or want when in little space, and maybe making him a set of picture cards featuring those items. That way, if he wants or needs something, he can just show you a card for it, or you can even go through them and present them to him as a "Do you want this?" And he can just nod or shake his head.

It may also help to sort of make a little space box or something that has some stuff he tends to like when regressed and keep that somewhere accessible for the both of you for when he regresses, or make an area of the house that's more little-friendly that he can retreat to when regressed.

All in all, communicating how you're feeling, and setting up ways to know he's regressed or easy ways to communicate his wants might be helpful to you!

Best of luck, and if any followers have tips then please feel free to reblog/comment as well!

~Mod Night

#trauma talks #mod night #little space #regression

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aliensmoothie · 1 year

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ill be real i know jack shit about skyrim and i forgot. your skyrim ocs name . but canyou tell me about them

HERE THEY ARE the one on the left is Yol-Miin/Jack shes my dragonborn oc and the one of the right is Ruarc hes the ghost in Jack's head and also my eso character . i had some old discord messages that i spruced up ( some stuff has changed a little since i wrote them originally LMAO ) for you below the cut :) this is mainly like their backstory stuff as it's relevant to skyrim but there is a little more ( like the eso stuff ) . its just complicated to explain and ALSO im afraid of sounding cringe . but its ok because the skyrim stuff is like the important part LOL

so she was raised for basically her entire life in windhelm . whenever she ended up there ( as like a very young baby probably ) an old dunmer man ( Malran ) took her in ( also was the one who found him maybe ? ) and to the best of his ability taught her how to survive in windhelm . generally through the route of stealth which he was really talented in but he was very cagey about his past so jack doesnt know like . why . he was also married to a redguard woman ( Shinir ) , who was only in town every now and then , cause she worked as a caravan guard , but taught Yol-miin varying skills she learned out on the road . generally though , Yol-miin was Really talented at being able to read about something and then just . teach himself how to do it . So when he got older he ended up using that skill doing any odd job that needed doing in town ( from chopping firewood to fixing swords to whatever really . the jobs usually came from the dunmer in town and occasionally the dock workers but i know she also helped around the hall of the dead alot ) . Malran ended up getting arrested ( undecided on the reason . there might not have been one ) when she was like 18 , and he disappeared from the prison without a trace . There was like No clues or anything even for Jack , so he was assumed dead . After that he ends up staying at the argonian assemblage at the docks for about a year before realizing that there's really no purpose in staying in windhelm anymore when she feels like she doesnt really belong . So ( mainly because of Shinir's visits i think ) she decides she's going out to start adventuring . Then she goes to helgen , and the whole Skyrim Thing happens .

Ruarc is a little more um . complicated . to explain . he was , when he was alive , a necromantic experiment by a group of daedra ( maybe sheogorath or namira ? i havent decided at all . sheo would be fun though ) cultists living out in valenwood a long long time ago ( like eras before skyrim maybe . it was a while ago ) . the cultists' intent was to summon a demon into a piece of primordial ooze pulled off a dead changeling as a powerful vessel for . whatever demon they were summoning . but instead the demon and whatever like Living Potential was in the ooze fused together and made Ruarc . The cultists weren't awful to Ruarc , but they were trying Very hard to figure out how to get basically the same experiment to go correctly while using him as a catalyst . Eventually , they tried it again and it backfired WAY HARDER and set the whole surrounding area on fire , killing Ruarc and all the cultists . Then , a long time later , he ends up as a ghost living in baby Jack's head . he doesn't remember his life before at all , so he just kind of convinces himself that he's an imaginary friend , and hangs out in Yol-miin's head . He definitely also influences Jack's array of skills with the scraps of Past Life Knowledge that he has .

#¿#thank you for asking abt them delta :)#a good portion of their stories come from like . justifying my playstyle and game mechanics . which i think is just a fun little thing :)#yol-miin #ruarc #skyrim ocs

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friendofcrow · 1 year

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taro!

Taro-> "If someone called you right now to catch up, what are the things you'd tell them about?"

Oh man.. there has been So Much.. i will go back. One year. have 2 get on the computer for this... strap in!

On a personal level i have completely dove in head first into femininity. I've known for almost six years now (and knew but didnt have the word for it for almost my whole life) but ive never done anything about it (or, havent been able to) but i wore a dress for the first time which is a HUGE Girly Life Milestone. AND! i liked how it looked!! AND got a chance to bring it out in public and around some of the most kind and supportive people i could possibly ask for, TWO whole states away so it was so nice to really lean into it without fear and not gettting misgendered even if just for that time.

i also got my license and my first car!!

Ok. now Socially! i have had the most insane shakeup in the last year. my high school friend group fell apart, but i met one of the best people it has ever been my pleasure to know. i met a couple more of my now favorite people through him too, and for that im so so grateful. ive been cared about in a way i havent ever been by the new people in my life. i went to visit him and his friends at college a couple states away and that was the first trip ive ever made on my own. right now im getting to know someone in my area (finally!!!) who i can tell will be a very special friendship. ive met all kinds of cool people on here too which has been so lovely.

theres been a lot of negative and all kinds of trials ive been thru but i wouldnt trade it for anything. im at a weird place where i dont know where my life is gonna go but theres nothing i can do but look forwards and try to stay hopeful. my transsexual survival instinct will pick me up and drag me thru the next year and i hope ill be in a better place by this time next year. i will come out kicking + screaming!!!

sorry this post is Long and Insane but i thought some healthy retrospection would be good for me. im not really expecting people to read this, but thank you if you did!

#girl power

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lostacelonnie · 1 year

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Noelle is just gay as hell for lumine its a fact. You are correct both her hangouts are just them on dates. I always forget people use aether too & then see like. Hangout scenes with him or ayaka's forest scene with him in the inazuma story & go who tf is that oh yeah people pick aether & miss the gay shit. Abyss queen lumine supremacy real i know her jp voice doing abyss lumine is real good. I only know something about faruzan being in a cave for a long time. No context just that. They should give us a fish hangout i want my favorite weirdo to have one. Her & mona have been having real good interactions when they show up together. I read that comic in real time & it was a special kind of hell. I am also a dr fan but talk about it less. Ooooh nice! Ruin serpent isnt the worst honestly but it is slightly annoying. Cryo hypo was my beloathed now its rifthound boss. Had to fight it so much for yun jin & im still not done. Ahh thats entirely fair. I will look forward to your updates! Oh wait do you mean uh. Average avery on here when you mention avery? I dont think i saw a trailerbfor genshin but i did see ganyu & keqing & went alright ill play. & they keep adding hot women so here i am. Rpg style grinding is hard to focus on for me when i could simply not but i do it for my faves. Oh. Also glad to see you are a fellow rangers apprentice enjoyer

HI IM OFFICIALLY BACK FROM THE NORWAY TRIP SO UH. no more waiting 18395092895 years for a response. sorry about that. anyway rigghhhtttt??? its so funny that mhy by making the "canon" traveler male and trying to make his playthrough fanservicey to please That part of the fanbase they also made lumine playthroughs just. lesbian impact. THE AYAKA QUEST IS SUCH A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS YEAH. and SO true, gaslight gatekeep girlboss and yeah the jp va's are generally really good. yeah me too tbh??? and that she always calls herself "madam faruzan" and insists shes everyones superior??? no idea what thats about but she seems interesting. YES itd be so fun i can already tell. fish hangout when. SO TRUE i LIVE for the monafischl friendship. the way mona just. accepted that shes gonna get a Lot of weird nicknames. yeahhhh i uh. heard a lot about it. never had the motivation to venture in myself asjdkkgkjjskf. danganronpa rewrote my mind permanently tho. dark times. but i got a lot of friends from that fandom and even keep in touch with some of them. yeah ruin serpent is just kinda annoying, but i have personal beef with cryo hypostasis. the message ab the area round the ch being extremely cold is kind of a meme to me. OUUGH NOT THE RIFTHOUND...... RIP......... hate that one. tho i fortunately didnt have to grind it. and coming back to the trip, it was great! fed some reindeer. ate some reindeer. their meat is SO good btw. saw the northern lights. drove a dog sled. life is good. and yes i do mean average avery!!!!! shes my best friend 4 life. and fairrrrr tho for me it was uh. that one eula ad from a long time ago that got me into genshin? and now i main her so. lmao. i started grinding because of my everlasting love for bianka but now i have no life. rangers apprentice was my LIFE when i was younger omg. pretty sure it was one of my first ever special interests and GOD was it long. still love these books tho i havent read them in a While.

#asks #pen pals

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kiniism · 1 year

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okay heres a really long post about my onions on scarlet (and violet but ive only played scarlet so far). i will NOT be spoiling any of the story or pokemon that havent been revealed in official media, HOWEVER! i will be talking about certain mechanics in the game in more detail, most specifically how you physically move about in the world (ie the upgrades you get for your mount). while im going to try not to compare scarvi to other games in every single aspect, its not feasible to leave it in the vacuum considering What It Is (a mainline series game from one of the highest-grossing franchises in the world). developer crunch aside, this is what they gave us, so thats what im talking about. SO!! preface done. lets get into this, breaking it up by section with each getting an overall Section Score, and then a final Overall Game Score. points i like begin with ++ and points i dont begin with -- to try and make it easier. THIS IS LONG AND CONTAINS SALT (some deserved, some personal).

THE POKEMON THEMSELVES

section score: 8/10 i like a lot of them! its just the ones i Dont like, i...Really Dont Like

++wooper’s new evo is the singular best pokemon of all time ++the names this gen are top-tier ++most of the designs are really cool! --there are some who have interesting ideas behind their base design/abilities but it really doesn’t feel like it fits with the mon itself and wouldve been better off as a separate entity/pokemon (there is a sea-based creature and a coin critter who bring this to mind most keenly) --while its nice theyre supposedly all to-scale, many are way too small to be seen on the switch screen. conversely i guess i understand why people are always tripping over bug-types in forests

YOUR LEGENDARY RIDE BUDDY

section score: 5/10 their personality is the absolute saving grace here, the novelty of riding them is fun, though a lot of the mechanics fall flat for me but are still required to explore the world

++having the box legendary with you from the tutorial is a cool idea i didnt know i wanted before! ++this lizard is so personality. god bless --the camera cannot keep up when you dash for long distances --i dont hate the fact that there is only a single pokemon you ride on since that cuts down on total animations needed, its just sad we cant use anyone else --i also dont hate that your movement abilities are locked behind one of the story lines, BUT there are hard-locked areas of the game you cannot get to without more progress, which stifles the whole “open world, do whatever you want whenever you want” feel --you unlock gliding late, and after roughly ten seconds of gliding, you begin falling rapidly to the ground. whats the point of this? also no free flight is always depressing, if understandable at a technical level --climbing walls is your last upgrade. the small hop you do at the top of the cliff to make it to the flat ground is often TOO small and you may fall. and if there is a pokemon at the edge where you’re about to be, you will bounce off it and be sent likely back down to the bottom of the cliff. not to mention if the wall is not completely vertical, you might lose your climbing grip and begin to slide down anyway --they take up so much of your screen you often cant see whats in your path and will run over or into obstacles like smaller pokemon or npcs

THE ANIMATIONS, GRAPHICS, AND VISUALS

section score: 5/10 the pokemon textures and chara designs alone save this part from being rated a 3/10

++the pokemon themselves look AMAZING, they have visible scales/fur/metallic sheen and are generally a delight to see walking about ++the npcs and characters are all really cool and i enjoyed meeting them ++pokemon have several different animations you can see with the picnic feature ++pokemon having sleeping animations in the picnic and when idle too long with lets go mode is adorable ++pokemon roaring/crying after they defeat an opponent in battle and are waiting for the next to come out is a nice touch --the environment textures look like 144p stock photos --the landscapes themselves look like a middle schooler’s first blender project, they arent natural and they arent pretty --there feels like there isnt a cohesive stylistic choice, like in legends arceus or breath of the wild, where they have a consistent vibe for the whole game --pokemon dont stand correctly on slopes, ie one of their feet will be clipped into the ground and the other will be floating --most of the move animations are pretty to look at, but we still have “slide forward and jiggle around a bit in your t-pose” and thats IF its a physical contact move. arceus’s dynamic battle movements are completely forsaken here --the idle animations in battle have a lot of dead space between them so we’re back to just two of them t-posing at each other --pokemon dont even close their eyes when theyre asleep. they have a whole animation for it outside of battle, and inside of battle there isnt any sleepy signs. they dont Freezeframe when frozen either. --koraidon specifically does a really cute animation when you’re just sitting on his back BUT. his neck wheel clips into his throat horribly and i just cant unsee it --the pokedex has a cute aesthetic but you cant SEARCH it and trying to read the sideways names is unsatisfying --the CONSTANT jumpcuts/fadeins both in the open world and in cutscenes looks Awful. give the editor a break, you dont need ten small movies to do the job of one

THE UI ELEMENTS AND CONTROLS

section score: 3/10 for every step forward there seems to be several dozen going back

++taking a selfie for your trainer card is nice ++the map has a pleasing aesthetic overall --the map does not show cave layers --while you can lock the large map from rotating, you cant lock the minimap from spinning which disorients me to no end. also the main map doesnt keep your zoom level saved when you close and open it --trainer card is removed from the x menu and instead locked behind opening the large map and then a smaller menu, which is pointless --you cant take a photo of yourself for the profile Icon. why? --the pokemon menu icons do not have special shiny variants, and also they clip horribly within the party screen. all of my pokemon are beheaded and/or have no feet --in the pc why is multiselect bound to the - key and not something way more accessible. why make Y ONLY swap and not toggle between modes like sword and shield had? --in the pc you cant pick up a pokemon and go to the ‘all boxes’ screen and drop them in a new box. you have to manually scroll through all your boxes --in the pc you cant hit Up on your first party member to end up tabbed over the Last Slot --health bars in battle. where do i start. its awful and i hate it? if you have a status effect or take damage from an ability, the bar will display for a moment while the damage animation goes off, and then DISAPPEAR WHEN THE TEXT BOX TELLING YOU THE DAMAGE WENT OFF SHOWS UP. its stressful when you/your opponent is at low hp and you dont know HOW much until the turn resolves entirely. in worst case scenarios (ie tera raids), you may only get a few frames. just display the health bars all the time, along with the pokemons level.

THE NEW FEATURES

section score: 5/10 if these features worked as im sure they were intended or had a few tweaks, they would be 10/10. but they Dont, and its super sad that the bad vastly outweighs the good

++finding rare items on the ground (nature mints, vitamins) is really nice ++being able to BUY nature mints is amazing ++picnicing is fun and handy when you dont want to make a long trek to/from a center ++terastralizing is fun to both do and plan around ++the raids are an improvement over sword and shield ++coop is kind of pointless but still really fun to Exist in the same space as your friends! so it stays as a positive ++accessing your pc boxes from anywhere is a godsend! ++nicknaming pokemon anywhere is nice! ++being able to relearn any past known move at any time is amazing! ++shiny pokemon are seen in the overworld! ++the lets go feature is a fun concept --HOWEVER the lets go feature is implemented Terribly. the mon doesnt stray far from you and immediately returns to the ball if you do get too far. you often send them forward and they dont target what you want them to, or they defeat one pokemon and then give up. 90% of pokemon are also TOO SLOW to keep up with you, which means you cant even reliably have a buddy walking with you for fun. it also makes evolving certain pokemon a hellish nightmare of forcing yourself to walk slowly so they dont get stuck --shiny pokemon DO NOT SPARKLE OR MAKE A SOUND in the overworld. they will ONLY alert you to their shininess when you enter a battle. the only way to identify a pokemon is with the lets go feature (your mons will not attack a shiny) BUT. with all the problems the lets go feature has i just listed, the only other recourse for people who dont use it is to squint at their screen. what do you do with a shiny who flees if you dont notice it in time before getting too close? you lose. good day sir. i will not be giving the game a pass on this at ALL because of the many visually impaired players being shafted on all fronts --speaking of shiny pokemon, shiny dittos and shiny zoruas can be disguised as Normal Pokemon and you wont know until you engage them and they de-transform. and again, the only way to know for sure before you manually battle is the lets go feature. so thats just dumb --we did not need crouching and sneaking in this game if there isnt any out-of-battle catches or need to hide period --the tera raids being timed really doesnt feel good when you need to watch SO many animations and none of them are shortened or skippable. the boss tera’s, sometimes you have to tera, and while the throwing-ball at the end was clearly made with love...its long, and ive seen it a lot now --the difficulty spike from 4* raids to 5* raids (i havent done a 6*) was pretty insane without building an endgame pokemon specifically to take them on. also the fact that i cant invite my friends first and then open it up to strangers means you’re likely stuck with dumb npcs padding out your team --sandwich making is kinda clunky and the fact that the buffs are separated by type feels super arbitrary and just to pad out the system of “wow look at all these ingredients!!”

THE STORY AND WORLD

section score: 9/10 its a pokemon game so some cliche is expected, but this has been my favorite one since black and white. the only thing really dragging it down is that the world is not as open as it seems

++all three paths have solid foundations and i enjoyed experiencing them! ++all of the important npcs felt like real characters who had their own motivations and quirks ++i actually learned stuff in class and got to flunk my math midterm three times because i cant fucking read just like in real life! +7 points --the world is not as open as it wants to be. areas are hard-locked behind certain mount abilities (swimming, climbing) but you can. sort of get up cliffs by jumping backwards which is fucking hilarious --the OVERworld doesnt necessarily need to scale with player progression (its normal to have low level starter areas and high level endgame areas) BUT! the BOSSES should. i was reasonably leveled for my first few fights but then took on a boss 10+ levels higher than my team, which was a fun struggle! BUT. after that. i was ENOURMOUSLY over leveled for the REST OF THE GAME, and none of the fights were interesting or fun --the terastralizing gimmick was only used in an interesting way a handful of times (one earlier-level gym leader surprised me but that was about it) and could’ve had a lot more potential if the types weren’t so predictable. a fight you have after beating the league had me cautious of something that wouldve been amazing to see but never happened --almost none of the npc pokemon had held items...? or if they did, they didnt make a valuable contribution to the fight, which made most of them feel easy to steamroll --i also found very few useful held items in the wild, which isnt the biggest deal since you can buy them, but it was always nice to pick up something and be like oh hey yea i can use this! without specifically going to the store. maybe ive explored the wrong areas tho idk --there are too many shops. have a clothing store in each city, yes, but do not put every piece of your outfit into a different store. no fucking store sells ONLY socks and NOTHING ELSE. same goes for the sandwich shops --there are too many buildings. you dont even go inside any of them, not even the fashion shops, so why have a loading screen just to pop up a menu? have an npc outside show you a ‘catalogue’ and pick from there --there isnt a way to mark npcs you want to revisit on your map, ex the friendship checker or that one guy you trade pokemon parts to so you can get amarouge or ceruledge. i have to look them up every time --the pokemon dropping materials is nice and adds immersion that each line drops a specific item, but it just adds to unnecessary bag bloat. ive made maybe seven tms in my 80 hours of playtime and havent sold any materials because i dont want to scroll through them all

and the kicker... THE PERFORMANCE

section score: 1/10 this is abysmal. it makes me physically ill.

++the coop bugs are kind of funny thats the only reason this has a Single Point and isnt a 0 --the lag. THE LAG BRO. everything lags. the game, every menu, the pokedex, starting a battle, EVERYTHING --it cant keep a steady 30fps at the best of times --the frame drops and slowdowns are frequent, distracting, and honestly nauseating at times. i can only play in handheld mode --the camera clips through EVERYTHING how did this get through playtesting --my game has crashed three times. once while i was walking away from a pokecenter, a second when trying to connect to a friends world, and the third while eating a sandwich. this is the only switch game in my recent memory to have ever crashed completely --the memory leak when the game runs for more than a few hours. --people are FALLING THROUGH THE FLOOR. --the world fucking deloads itself sometimes when i throw a pokeball. yea that video of the psyduck by the bridge is real, its happened to me several times

so now.......here we are at the end of things. first, heres stuff i would fix to make it a perfect 10/10 mainline pokemon game

add shiny sound/sparkle back

make health bars display 100% of the time in battle

move the profile/trainer card and pokedex options back to the main menu

let players lock the minimap rotation

bosses have proper level scaling

make the names in the pokedex not sideways

tweaks to the movement of your ride mon

animation upgrades, both in the overworld and for cutscenes

minor adjustments to the animation timings in tera raids, making shorter versions of them to combat the timer anxiety

complete overhaul of the lets go feature

performance upgrades. god let this game cook for another year at least

and i think thats everything. this game is clearly unfinished and the product of the ruthless development cycle, and ultimately it was way too ambitious for the time and manpower they had. its extremely sad that theres such promise under all of the glaringly unpolished features. if this game had at least some of the fixes i specified above, i would feel confident rating this as my favorite pokemon game since black and white or legends arceus

however. as of right now, with the game the way it is, this is my final score

POKEMON SCARLET AND VIOLET FINAL RATING: 6/10

#kintalk #warning this post is LONG #and it has a lot of salty sadness in it #just please remember these disappointments come from a place of love #this game couldve been absolutely everything we all wanted #but crunch and holidays and corporate interests always bare their fangs somehow #im hopeful for a patch before the dlc theyre supposedly working on #but that hope is sort of...i dunno. its not a lot of hope thats for sure #anyway thanks for coming to my tedtalk i guess #is there something i missed?? maybe!#tell me if you think of something

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