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#i keep hating like. i’m getting Mad about speaking bc i have to speak a lot more at this job than i did at my last one
bussyslayer333 · 1 year
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Mad About the Boy
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fratboy!bradley bc i said so (isn’t he so meow in this)
summary: trying to tutor bradley bradshaw was infuriating for many reasons, not all of them you expected.
pairing: fratboy!bradley x tutor!reader
word count: 2.6k
warnings: smut but no actual sex, allusions to smut, swearing, frat boys 😟, pet names, one mention of daddy issues (not in reference to reader) MDNI 18+
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“Romeo is crazy for tying himself down like that so young,” Bradley complains for what seems like the hundredth time in the past hour.
You sigh, sick of his Shakespeare ‘interpretations’ which have been interrupting your tutoring session. This year you had prayed that keeping your head down and getting on with your classes would mean you could get by with ease. However, your English lit professor had other ideas. You had no idea why Bradley Bradshaw was even in this class, from what you had heard he was headed straight to flight school after graduation so analysing classic literature didn’t necessarily seem up his alley.
“We’re not talking about Romeo, we’re talking about Juliet’s relationship with her father.”
“Shit, daddy issues? Yeah I’ve dealt with that before someone tell Romeo to get out while he can.”
You fight the urge to roll your eyes once again and readjust your glasses.
“Look, I don’t think we’re getting anywhere today, we can just start again next session.”
Bradley seems upset at your suggestion and speaks up quickly, “No! Please, don’t go I’m sorry. I promise I’ll pay attention now.”
This was one of the many things you claimed to hate about Bradley Bradshaw. Not the fact that he was in a frat, or that he had a ridiculous name, it was the fact that he always managed to get you wrapped around his finger. You’d promised yourself when your professor had asked you to do this that you wouldn’t fall into his traps, his big brown eyes or his backwards caps that he somehow managed to pull off.
Bradley’s looking at you from where he’s sat across the table in the private room you’ve booked in the library. He’s wearing grey sweatpants and a tight white t shirt, he discarded his large black hoodie on a chair to his right earlier. You try not to look into his big brown eyes but you feel it would be worse to let them drift down to where his shirt is drawn tight across the expanse of his chest.
Shaking your head slightly you refocus.
“Bradley you have to promise.”
“That’s what I said sweetheart.”
That was what you hated most. That he made you feel special. That he made you feel like you weren’t just some girl picked out to tutor him. When he talks to you he always makes eye contact, he has a way of making you feel like you’re the only two people in a room even if it’s bustling with life. Even when the things he says are stupid and lack thought you want to laugh, because you want him to look at you and smile.
Fiddling with a loose piece of wool in your knitted cardigan you continue,
“Well… okay then.”
Bradley smiles, “that’s my girl.”
Your stomach flips and you feel your cheeks warm. It’s utterly embarrassing but you can’t find it in you to care. You take a deep breath and reassess, looking down to your textbook at notes you’ve highlighted to bring up and explain.
What you don’t notice is Bradley watching your every move, smirking to himself as he sees how flustered you are.
“Right, so for context we understand the importance of the patriarchy in Shakespearean society, which is why it’s shocking to audiences of the time that she disobeys her father so brazenly to elope with Romeo.”
Bradley’s watching you with his mouth slightly open. He looks adorably stupid. You look up from where you’ve been reading your annotations and he closes his mouth and leans in closer.
“Do you understand?”
Bradley winces slightly apologetically and you sigh again, wracking your brain for a way to actually help Bradley retain the information. You think back to the past few tutor sessions you’ve had with him. You had done a small assessment with him where you divised a few questions on topics and themes you’d tried to cover with him. He had excelled in one specific part but the rest was very mixed with him. You wondered what you had done in that session for him to remember so well.
“Bradley, why do you remember act 2 so well?” You ask harmlessly. Wondering what technique you tried in that session that clearly worked so well.
Bradley flushes at your question, scratching the back of his neck, suddenly avoiding your eyes. You worry you’ve upset him and start to form an apology when he finally speaks up,
“Well it was on that really hot day, and you were so animated when you were explaining everything and God please don’t think I’m a dick but your tank top was really tight and I’m an idiot and-”
You’re laughing so hard Bradley stops his embarrassed rambling and looks up, brows scrunched together. You have to take a breath to collect yourself before you can speak again.
“My boobs are what kept your attention whilst talking about act 2 of Romeo and Juliet?” You giggle.
His cheeks are rosy and hot to touch, he looks bashful and has the decency to apologise,“I’m sorry, if it’s any help you were also very enthusiastic about it which was good as well.”
You snicker again and humour him, “So if I took my shirt off and repeated the last sentence you would know what’s going on?”
He laughs, glad you’re not upset at him, “I mean probably.”
He’s joking for the most part but it forms a plan in your head. You can’t really believe this is happening. You’ve seen the girls usually surrounding Bradley and you wouldn’t be a part of that crowd ever, but you’ve never seen him act this way around a girl so you decide to voice your plan.
“Bradley read back through the notes, then I’m going to quiz your orally.”
Bradley looks slightly crestfallen at the turn in conversation and at the idea that he has to study again, before you continue your plan.
“For every question you get right I’ll let you pick a piece of my clothing I have to take off.”
He looks up at you with a dazzling smile and you chuckle at his quick change in demeanour.
“Really?”
“I promise.” You mimic his words from earlier.
Bradley immediately opens his textbook to the same page as yours and pulls your notebook with extra annotations over. He reads with intent like you’ve never seen and you feel slightly annoyed that you’d never thought of this before.
You check your phone to find a text from your roommate Maya. She knew you were tutoring Bradley tonight and had sent a message saying she hopes it isn’t too bad. Boy if she knew.
You look up to see Bradley reading the last section of your notes. You’re shocked by how fast he read, before this you were 75% certain he couldn’t read, so it was a pleasant surprise really.
“I’m done, quiz me.” Bradley interrupts your train of thought.
He’s leaned back more slightly in his chair now, observing your movement openly. You stand to twist the lock on the door, although the room is in the corner of a secluded part of the second floor you can’t imagine the horror of the 70 year old library assistant (Laurie) who you’d become well acquainted with, walking in on you stripping for a frat boy.
You sit back down in your seat and pull your knees up to your chest. Bradley has closed the books and has his phone turned face down on the table, you’re impressed by his commitment.
You decide to start off easy wanting to test the water, “Why does Romeo refuse to fight Tybalt?”
Bradley smiled like you’ve asked him the easiest question in the world even though two hours ago he did not know who Tybalt was.
“He’s just married his cousin, he doesn’t want to start fighting his own family.”
You smile at his answer, “Correct.”
“Take that hideous cardigan off.” Bradley chuckles.
You gasp at his words, “I love this cardigan! My roommate knitted it for me.”
“Is she blind?”
You stifle a laugh and pull the cardigan off. Bradley sits up a little straighter as he takes in your attire which was hidden by the baggy outer layer. You’re wearing baggy sweatpants with a tight crop top. It’s worn, so it’s comfortable but it suits you well and hugs the right areas, it also shows that you’re not wearing a bra underneath. You take in Bradley’s tensed eyebrows and eyes that are already zoned in on you.
“Are you seriously rocking a semi after all I’ve done is take off my cardigan?” You tease in mild disbelief.
Bradley takes it in his stride, “It’s more from the relief of not having that eyesore right in my view anymore.”
You roll your eyes and continue on with your questions. He gets the next one right and opts for you to take off your shoes. Claiming it will make it easier for you to remove your sweatpants when he gets the next question right. You laugh at his cockiness but surely enough he gets it right. You make a show out of taking them off, wiggling your hips and turning around whilst you bend down to take them off fully. You’re glad that morning you decided to put on a nice pair of underwear, it’s lacy but tasteful. When you turn around Bradley is readjusting himself slightly and rubs a hand down his face. He has a lazy smirk plastered on,“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about this.”
Your face heats at his admission “You should have told me sooner.” You smirk back.
“I think you need to sit closer. So I can hear you better.” Bradley claims
You move around from the seat opposite to the seat right next to him, you go to sit down but you can see a sly look on his face that reveals he has an ulterior motive. He pulls you down onto his lap, you’re in a slightly awkward position at first but readjust so that you legs sit either side of his. You look up and catch his lips quirking up and he sighs contently as he feels the weight of you settle down on him.
“Much better.” He breathes.
You squirm slightly, worried that he can feel the warmth of you through his sweatpants. There’s only a few layers separating you now and it’s obvious to both of you. Bradley places his hands on your waist, stilling you. He groans as you rolls your hips accidentally.
“You’re killing me here sweetheart.”
You flush slightly but decide to continue your questions,
“What does her nurse suggest to Juliet at the end of the act and how does it affect their relationship?”
Bradley tries not to focus on how good you feel sat on him and wracks his brain for the answer. He remembers reading your notes about it and closes his eyes in thought. You roll your hips down with more purpose now and speak,
“5…4…3…”
Bradley groans but begins, “Bigamy! It ruins the trust they once shared!” He spits out with urgency.
He looks down at you and sees a pleased look on your face,
“Well done baby.” You speak but flush at how the pet name slips out and Bradley quirks an eyebrow.
“Shirt off, baby” Bradley copies you with a smirk on his face.
You consider letting him suffer, but you honestly want to as much as he does now. You tease him, lifting the bottom of the shirt slowly. It reaches the bottom of your breasts and you feel Bradley twitch in his sweatpants beneath you. Filled with a surge of confidence you lift your shirt swiftly, pulling it over your head carefully. Your glasses slip down your nose slightly but your hair remains mostly fine. Bradley groans loudly and you shush him.
“We’re still in a library after all,” you giggle.
He rolls his eyes but begins again, “Can I touch you?”
His sincerity shocks you and makes your heart race, “I think you deserve to yeah.”
His hands are on your breasts in an instant squeezing them with a look of awe on his face. It makes you laugh but you’re quickly silenced as his hard length is bucked up into you. You whimper quietly and he finally closes the space between you which has been reducing as the events unfolded. The kiss is tentative at first, he tastes like the spearmint gum he’s always chewing. You take the initiative and deepen the kiss, tangling your fingers in his hair, you can tell he enjoys the action because he whimpers into your mouth.
Bradley finally removes his hands from your breasts and moves them to skim along your waist and finally down to your ass. He plays with the lace of your panties and you hum into the kiss. When you finally part from his lips, his chest is heaving. Your lips are swollen and rouged from the pressure and he admires them, staring down at your face. You feel him ping your panties against your hip and you finally speak up,
“We can’t fuck in the library.”
Bradley laughs and you worry that you’ve assumed too quickly before he reassures you,
“I wouldn’t dream of it sweetheart, I’m far too gentlemanly for that.” He winks. “Come to mine? I really want to give you a tour of my bedroom, maybe we can continue our tutor session there?”
You laugh at his suggestions but nod your head anyway. Bradley is nice enough to give you your shirt that is strewn across the chair next to him. You pull it over your head and Bradley pouts playfully. Leaving his lap, you’re glad to see you haven’t left a wet spot on his sweatpants but you can quite clearly see his prominent bulge. Bradley smirks as he follows your eye line. Not wanting to boost his ego even further you spin on your heel to pick up your own sweatpants and shoes. You hear him whisper a quiet ‘goddam’ as you bend over to pick up your sweatpants and once you’ve pulled them on you turn around and stick your tongue out at him. He laughs through his nose as you lace up your shoes.
Standing back up you see that Bradley has collected your books into your tote bag and is wearing it over his shoulder. The sweet action makes you smile shyly and he extends his hoodie out to you.
“I’m not being seen with you in that cardigan.”
“Shut up.”
You take the hoodie anyway and pull it over your head. It smells dizzyingly like him and you shake your head to clear your thoughts. He’s holding both your bags and tells you your cardigan is in his backpack. You pick your phone up from the table and slide it into the front pocket of Bradley’s hoodie, you spot him shooting a text to his roommate Jake telling him to be gone by the time he gets back and giggle. You make a mental note to text Maya and tell her you’ll be back later than usual.
Bradley walks you to the door with his arm guiding you on your lower back. Once you’ve unlocked it and are walking out he slips his hand into yours. The action is far too sweet for all the things he’s about to do to you, but it shows you that maybe you don’t hate Bradley Bradshaw after all.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
a/n: hehehehhee this was so self indulgent sorry,, i promise i will get to requests asap i just wanted to post this first :p i really hope everyone loves fratboy!bradbrad as much as i do
requests are still open !!!
pls reblog and comment or send me an ask and tell me what u think !!!
thanks for reading :)
- honey <333
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dogstarmoonheart · 9 months
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Im pissed here ⬇️ This is a rant made mid-rage
written after an encounter with one of those bloggers who hate everything that isn’t canon and dislikes Wolfstar and throws up from the thought of Jegulus (?).
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First of all, there are a lot of tropes I don't really like and that I don't take part of. I, for one, like my Lupin awkward and scrawny, not like a cool casanova. I struggle to see the beauty of making Regulus all soft and dovy, as his personality from the start has been based on the fact that he's cold, hurt and uptight. I have never read Y/N as I feel conflicted with the arrangement. WITH THAT SAID, I feel no bloody need to point out, complain or talk poorly about those who do enjoy these things.
I'm a big jily fan. I was 13 (isch??) when I entered the fandom and back then “jegulus” wasn’t a thing. (I've grown to enjoy the "jegulus ship" though, and some of my favorite fics are jegulus-centered.)
I get people being like:
“huh jegulus? how would that even???”
and I also get people who hold onto jily like a life jacket.
BUT for the love of the gods, that doesn't mean people need to be such c*nts.
“This fandom has gotten out of hand”
“I don’t like it when people make ships that aren’t canon” (????? why are you here then?????)
and also people who are so butt-hurt bc. of adaptions and interpretations, like??? what do you think a fandom does???
“That character would never act like that” DO YOU FUCKING KNOW THEM PERSONALLY??
“that’s not realistic at all” your mom’s not realistic at all.
“rosekiller is so offensive” YOU ARE OFFENSIVE
you’re literally 40 go AWAY.
If you want it to be 100% accurate to the books, read. the. fucking. books??????
I’m not speaking for those who change a character to unrecognition, but I stumble upon people who are still mad about Wolfstar??? And it pisses me off dawg. It pisses me off.
Don’t attack people who enjoy non-canon queerness or a cool Remus Lupin or (gods forbid) a kind ratboy (you know he’s my everything)
Kindly piss off Karen (of course not if ur lovely, and happen to be named Karen, you stay right where you are <3)
Sorry, I had to get that out of mi system. Just think it’s bollocks that people can’t just sit back and shut up.
FYI: This house (blog) is safe to all and I hope ye kno’ that nasty hags are just hiding their weird ass values behind the statement “it’s not canon”. They themselves are mucky. They are a bad joke with a borin' punchline ;)
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I wanted to share this cuz even if it might not make complete sense (as I wrote it in fury at 3 am) it’s a good enough reminder that yeh should stay gay, stay loud, and keep making old angry people mad. Ship weird shit and idk..make James an emo just to piss somebody off, who gives a shit.
kisses my sweets
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gold-rhine · 10 months
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Inazuma Rewrite Act Two
Please read part one before reading this. It will make no sense otherwise.
In part one I did setup for the vision hunt conflict, changed Raiden’s motivations, added Rebellion \ Resistance interaction and Teppei setup, added setups to the arcs to Ayaka and Yoimiya. And more!
In this installment:
Let’s Make Player Give A Fuck About Rebellion and Teppei
Kokomi Is Not An Idiot
Delusions Are Not The Aging Beach
Ayaka’s Arc Pay-off
and more!
All disclaimers from part one also apply, I’m not gonna copy paste them.
Raiden Shogun First Duel 
I think we can keep the duel itself mostly unchanged. The cutscenes are pretty good and very cinematic, I don’t see reason to fix things which are not broke when there are already so many broken things
so, Traveler comes to Thoma’s rescue, gets taken to raiden’s plane of euthemia
also mb let’s cut i hate all minorities dialogue and instead like. open disobedience of the traveler to raiden shogun is i think enough to be used as a cause for the duel
The dialogue with raiden changes, we add banter with Traveler where traveler is like but you were pro-change before! and like cites some Transience things we talked about in the part 1.
Raiden gets mad in response, yells “Don’t you dare to mention her against me!” and that’s when she throws Traveler out of  euthemia and prepares the boob nuke
yeah, it’s foreshadowing of Makoto reveal
then the cutscene is the same, Thoma chucks a spear in her face and escapes with the traveler
thoma goes into hiding, traveler goes to join rebellion. bc they’re already in contact with gorou, we skip meandering around and go straight to the goal
First battle
and we arrive directly to the battlefield
there are several problems with rebellion pacing and kokomi characterization, which i elaborated on before. Like, Kokomi in canon only has one battle, which she wins because she hired mercenaries with fatui money. which like! invalidates this whole thing and makes her naive enough to be duped by the bad guys. So we need a battle win which is decidedly due to Kokomi’s genius.
so like in canon, Kujou Sara demands rebellion give her the traveler. Teppei, whos also there, is like no, fuck off! he’s embarrassed to speak out of the order but determined.
Gorou of course gives a speech about not giving up comrades, the fight starts, we have cool battle animation blah blah, and then suddenly!! Kujou Sara has reinforcements coming from behind some cliffs, oh no!! Teppei yells there’s too much of them! We will be overrun! Close up of Gorou’s snarling face, eyes darting, ready to call retreat, close up of victoriously looking Sara, Tenryou reinforcements are running to the battle... 
The water bubbles start rising up and Kokomi appears. She smiles at Gorou reassuringly and does some cool water animation. The hidden spring\waterfall bursts up with water and crushes into the reinforcements, washing them away. Rebellion rejoices, Kujou Sara curses and calls retreat.
i’ve seen people demand kokomi to have like a cool battle transforming into a dragon or smth bc of her origins and draconae constellation, but like this is missing the narrative pacing. the vishap origins only make sense after enkanomya where we learn about watatsumi history AND on the subversion of “oh its pink pastel kokomi who is smart and sweet :3”. Like we need to know her like that first, and THEN the dragon reveal will be cool and interesting.
Rebellion and Teppei overall setup
so, the Rebellion act wanted to accomplish too many things and didn’t structure them efficiently:
make you feel comradery with rebellion
make you like teppei
make you feel like a leader of your own squad, but like you EARNEd it, bc at first soldiers are distrustful and make you prove yourself
establish delusions and that delusions are bad bc teppei died, which is sad bc p.2
 in canon it’s like - have one scene with teppei, do some useless fetch errands for rebels, have another scene with teppei, be assigned swordfish captain and have two quick scenes with two dudes you will not remember
so obviously no one gives a fuck with this kind of pacing
instead, we will combine all of this and more importantly, give it narrative throughline so it doesn’t feel so disconnected and erratic
traveler is already known to Gorou through resistance meet up, he vouches for them, and Kokomi immediately names Traveler as captain of swordfish 2
Teppei is here and he excitedly volunteers to join that squad too
Gorou is like hey its a high risk squad that’s deployed on front lines, and you don’t have combat experience like, at all
Paimon and Traveler step up to be like yeah its fine, we’ll look after him, teppei is like omg thanks you guys :3
turns out he has problems fitting in with the rebels. they are all great ppl, sure, but they are warriors bonded in fights for years and most of them are from watatsumi. 
and he’s like a merchant or a clerk from narukami island. he feels like an outsider and a burden
but now the Traveler is here! they are already buddies from that resistance meet up and Traveler is an outsider too. They can stick together!
Swordfish II
So you go to meet up with your swordfish squad. You are greeted by a buff butch woman who is v no-nonsense and skeptical about your ability to be leader and another woman who is more friendly, but still kinda keeps distance and is snarky
their code names are Xena and Gabrielle for no reason other that we need buff female models like blacksmihs, hoyo. The point is that we need some memorable NPCs to represent swordfish, bc these two dudes that give you shit in canon for 3 second? I couldn’t remember them if my life depended on it
anyway, you learn that the previous captain just died and everyone loved and was very loyal to them, and now they are hostile to anyone who tries to take command.
So we do couple of battle to prove we’re strong blah blah, teppei is useless during a fight and Xena makes fun of him for this, and he’s super embarrassed
after that we walk around with teppei. Swordfishes camp is kinda shabby, they just took a bad hit. So we help the wounded, repair some tents, etc, but most important, Teppei uses expertise he’s got from his civilian job to solve problems
like he knows how to make a great painkiller potion bc he used to sell them. Or he gets an idea to use empty bags from used supplies to cover holes in tents, etc. 
Point is, he contributes.
After all this, Xena and Gabrielle are walking around, and Gabrielle is like wow captain, did you do all these improvements, and Traveler is like yeah, but it was all Teppei’s solutions, and Xena doesn’t say anything, but you can see she’s surprised and appreciative that you’re not only strong in combat, but care for the squad
she nods over the campfire at teppei like “i guess you’re not so useless after all, narukami nerd”
he protests, everyone laughs, its Bonding Time
Kokomi is not an idiot\ Fatui
We’re summoned to go see Kokomi. She’s in deep thought. Rebellion is in dire situation, supplies are running out, she’s sure they will not be able to win another open confrontation, even with her strategic tricks
But there is a new development - she’s being offered a huge anonymous donation. With that money, she could hire mercs to help. But to accept money without knowing the source is too risky, it could be a trap or setup
so she asks us to investigate these mysterious benefactors. bc also there are some vague rumors about some way to get boost to power going around and thats very sus too
bc like no, I cannot get over supposed genius Kokomi just taking fatui’s help blindly and letting them spread delusions around
so we go to the quest to investigate clues, with the swordfishes, its our first srs mission as the captain.
its couple of fights, blah blah. we find some clues and then its the Leader Decision time.
like there are two camps and we need to strike both at the same time, or the other one will destroy evidence and run, but we don’t have enough manpower. traveler is like  can take one camp by myself, and Xena at first is skeptical, but we’ve proven ourselves yesterday so she’s like okay I trust you, boss
everything goes well, both camps are taken and we find evidence that these donations are in fact, from fatui! and they are trying to spread delusions, which are bad and can kill you!
Delusions
I’m not a fan of Delusions working like the aging beach from that movie Old. Like first of all, if that’s how it worked, Childe should at this point look like this
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and Diluc. And Signora. Like I get that these are like low quality delusions, so effect is worse, but you can’t be like wow Teppei turned 90 in 2 days and Diluc stayed babyfaced after 4 years.
second, how is that no one noticed Teppei aging 20 years after each fight. Like it had to happen in front of other soldiers.
And like, why change the mechanics at all?? You use delusion, you get burst of power and take huge hit to the health, that’s it. Low quality delusions take more out of your health, so people using them die faster. They don’t need to age faster at the same time.So that’s mechanics I’m using here.
Anyway, while swordfishes discuss delusions finding (and Xena loudly condemns them), camera shows Teppei being quiet, kinda sus and looking away
Kokomi Mini-Arc\ Swordfish Bonding
we go back and report to kokomi. She’s distraught. The battle is so soon and she doesn’t know what to do!
from pure strategic, emotionless perspective to win the battle she needs to take fatui’s money and close her eyes at some soldiers using delusions. She can trade their lives for the voctory
But as a Watatsumi leader who cares about her people she cannot do that!
Traveler comforts her, but leaves without any obvious decision made and with a heavy heart. 
the night before battle, we gather at campfire with the swordfishes
everyone is kinda doom and gloom bc it’s obvious Rebellion doesn’t stand a chance
Traveler stands up and makes a motivational speech about fighting together, about how they’ve faced seemingly impossible odds before and prevailed, bc everyone worked together, like with Ossail fight
Xena suddenly stands up to support us, she’s like yeah, I didn’t believe in you before, but now I see you’re worth it, Captain!
everyone cheers, Xena punches Teppei into shoulder and he almost falls over like “Even this narukami nerd is not as bad as I thought haha!”
Final Rebellion Battle
So, cinematic cutscene. Sara on one side with obviously more soldiers. Kokomi and Gorou with rebellion on the other side. Traveler is with the Swordfishes and Teppei. Kokomi and Sara shjare some snappy banter. 
mb there’s a duel, but only if combat designers can figure out way to make it cool. Traveler whacking NPC in a row who can do nothing back with a sword 5 times in a row like in canon is fucking boring. Mb incorporate like challenge with Inazuma mechanics like the thunder zoomies or smth.
the battle begins. Rebellions fights fiercely, close ups of our swordfishes.
Teppei is fighting Surprisingly Good For Him. Xena comments on this and he beams up
but the difference in numbers is too much. Rebellions starts being overwhelmed, and then!
Suddenly Beidou and the mercs join the battle! Kazuha is here too. Traveler looks worriedly at Kokomi, does this mean that she’s accepted Fatui’s bloody money??
But Kokomi smiles back. No, she’s had another trump up her sleeve
trail of snowflakes runs through the ground and suddenly, Ayaka appears on the battlefield. 
animation cutscene plays, Ayaka is shown in the past, after Traveler leaves, feeling restless and trapped in the estate. She’s still reeling from Yoimiya’s words and the fact that she couldn’t even help Thoma herself. She feels powerless, a pretty helpless figurehead princess that she didn’t want to be
letter from Kokomi arrives, telling about Rebellion’s dire situation and asking if Ayaka can help
Ayaka is in turmoil, she wants to help so bad, but she can’t steal money from Yashiro commission, that’d be stealing from people of Inazuma! 
She glances at her dancing fan and suddenly, a solution comes to her.
Looking determined, she goes to the Kamisato estate treasury and opens the chest of her parents’ inheritance
She sells some of her family heritage jewels and silks to get the money, deciding to use the same privilege that kept her trapped to finally help people 
she also officially announces that she’ll be in religious solitude meditation ritual or smth and instead sneaks off and travels to Watatsumi
she’s wearing that carnival mask that hoyo puts on models when they want to do “disguise”. Listen, if Diluc doesn’t get recognized in this gay little mask, then it can work for Ayaka too
anyway, animation ends with Ayaka springing from the ground on the battlefield and starting her burst, which transitions to her in-game burst animation
Her burst shreds through Tenryou forces.
Ayaka freeze with Kokomi and Kazuha is one of the best meta teams. Sara realizes it’s fucking JOVER for this battle and calls retreat.
Teppei death \ Delusion factory
Rebellion overjoices, Traveler and the swordfishes hug or whatever our animation department can handle in celebration, when suddenly!
Teppei falls down! Everyone gathers around and see delusion roll over from his hand!
oh no! He says he secretly picked up delusion from the fatui camp we cleared during investigation. This is why he’s fought so well today.
We tell him that he shouldn’t have done it, the fool!
He says he wanted to be useful. He just wanted to finally be one of the rebels!
Xena sits down next to him and says “You were already one of us.”
He dies holding her hand, with all comrades all around, instead of alone behind a shed like a sick housecat
Gorou and Kokomi walk up.Kokomi says that this is exactly why she refused Fatui’s help, but this happening even to one of the soldiers is a tragedy
Traveler and Swordfishes of course demand revenge. But we don’t know where the delusions are coming from! we already cleared fatui camps we knew of, we just don’t have any new leads!
Kujou Sara who watched this scene from afar suddenly speaks up
She has intel about possible location of Fatui factory, that she didn’t have time to explore. It’s on Tenryuo territory, but she’s willing to let Traveler pass. Fatui betraying and harming Inazuma people like this is unacceptable to her, even if they are enemies for now.
We’re like but can we trust her?? What if she just captures us?
Kokomi has long eye contact with Sara. It’s very Yuri. 
She finally says “No, we can trust Kujou Sara’s honor”
Sara only lets Traveler pass, so we have a scene of swordfishes wishing us luck and then we leave
Delusion factory quest goes the same. It’s okay, again, not fixing what’s not broke.
We confront Scara, he rants about mortals being bubbles, blah blah
The only dialogue change is when he bullshits about like oh, these mortals are weak and useless, of course they have to pay for power, Traveler argues that Teppei was already useful, he helped with the camp in a way others couldn’t, and he didn’t have to die to prove anything or “pay” for power
Otherwise it goes the same, Traveler passes out, Yae shows up to trade the gnosis
we’re moving to the Act 3!
PART 3
294 notes · View notes
foursaints · 3 months
Note
barty has a certified Evan Kink but what else specifically 👀👀👀
grim made a post here that i agree with & im going to reiterate some of it! but generally my barty is pretty disgusting so i’m putting this under a cut lmao…. Beware..... i know i just said i want my asks to be less horny but im not helping. this is so explicit seriously if you are one of my cool mutuals look away (fern do NOT read this i will be so mad)
prefacing this by saying 😭😭 these are NOT my personal preferences i’m simply huffing the fumes like the oracle at Delphi and divining into his mind. also with evan he gets way more switchy but these are just how i see his usual preferences in general 
24/7 power play (as grim said) and free use. barty gets off on blurring the lines between kink and reality and having complete control over his partner sexually but he does it in a sort of irreverent, half-joking-but-not-really-joking way. he’ll casually make his partner lick his boot and he’ll laugh and pat them on the head and get up to go make dinner. bend them over while they’re doing dishes because He Can Have Them Any Time & not let them finish because it’s his decision. that sort of thing
(but u have to put it in context like outside the bedroom that man is SO whipped. he’s calling evan his brainless fuckdoll but he’s also walking 4 miles in the snow to get him the specific type of croissant he wants)
to me there’s a major incongruity between barty’s fantasies and his actual preferences. he jerks off to the idea of keeping his partner collared & silent & pretty & obedient and dolled up and sat quietly on a pillow all day waiting to please him. but he would hate that irl and in reality he LOVES evan’s bitching and bossing him around. its so much more fun
FAKE KIDNAPPING (as grim said). SO REAL! HE IS THE KIDNAPPER! IN A SKI MASK! 
in general my barty is concerningly into cnc but only if its super negotiated and desired. hes checking in beforehand and throughout 800x but like? with evan? they are going the whole nine yards. he wants to pin him down and Take Him while he screams and struggles and cries and fails to fight him off 
while barty is cooing and salivating over him and petting his hair and licking his tears and mockingly telling him how sweet & weak he is and how perfectly evan takes him. btw
overstimulation. both giving and receiving. 
he’ll make his partner get off like eight times daily because he finds overstim entertaining. like he’s not even getting anything out of it at this point. just whenever he’s bored he’ll sit his partner on his knee for the third time that day and play with them until they cry while he scrolls his phone 
this next one shows up mostly in his dirty talk and his habit of manhandling but like? objectification? but in the weird possessive sense of “wow you are so perfect and pretty it’s like you’re a cute little toy that exists Just For Me” <- that type of vibe. he chooses to believe you were Invented to Be Fucked By Him
and his dirty talk is so meeeaaaan like he could be doing the most depraved thing ever and speaking in a casual tone of voice like he's making small talk. he's very condescending and asks a lot of demeaning questions and will laugh. he likes to see evan get angry and embarrassed and make him repeat filthy stuff
not really a kink bc i don’t think it’s something he seeks out or even thinks about much. but when he discovers evan rosier is a virgin he 100% gets SOOO weird and insane about it. bro is FROTHING 
but aside from all of that. he loves giving himself up to evan completely and service top barty is Real. that’s an entirely different rodeo with its own set of… fucking… rodeo clowns? lassos? 20-page long notarized consent forms? this is an untenable metaphor. but anyway i also like to believe that rosekiller has very loving vanilla dynamic-less sex too because im a romantic like that. and also because they are soulmates
he’s SO awful but. you know. i love him anyway
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sasageyolevi · 1 year
Text
stained bedsheets and pancakes
•••
content : levi x fem!reader (or afab bc of talk of periods) , mentions of periods , period blood , etc.
a/n : hi everyone !!! i just wanted to write this little piece of levi fluff to start the week off , hopefully everyone is having a great start to their week !!!
also , i have gotten a lot of requests recently and i promise i am getting to them but it may take a little while , so i hope you can understand :)
please let me know if you enjoy this little fluff post and if you would like more !!!
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•••
tears streamed down your face as you glanced down at the crime scene on the bed, cursing yourself out for not being prepared this month.
to your right was levi, your little insomniac, finally sound asleep in the white linen sheets for the first time this week.
just your luck, you had to stain the sheets of the one person who hates messes the most.
the amount of guilt you felt right now was consuming you whole, along with the cramps that seemed to be obliterating your abdomen. you desperately didn’t want levi to know, especially because he was known for keeping everything clean and tidy, and a mess would upset him. however, you knew that you couldn’t wash the sheets with his body laying on the bed, so you decided it was time to rip the band-aid off.
“levi,” your voice sounded desperate as you slightly shook him awake. “levi, please wake up.”
he moaned softly, slightly gaining consciousness before groggily looking over at your tear-stained face. “angel? what’s going on, are you okay?”
his sleep-deprived voice made you sniffle a bit more as you realized just how much of a deep sleep he was in. you felt horrible waking him up, especially when he never slept this well on a normal night.
“levi, i’m so sorry. please don’t be mad at me, i didn’t mean to do it..” your voice broke and trembled as you sobbed into your palms.
levi’s brows furrowed as he sat up and cupped your face, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears pooling under your eyes.
“y/n, baby, what happened? i need you to calm down and speak to me.” his tone was harsh, yet not in a demanding way. he just wanted you to be safe and the fact that you were currently crying beside him didn’t make it any better.
levi handed you a tissue and you blew into it before wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. you shakily pulled away the comforter to reveal a large red mark stained on the sheets.
“oh.” he breathed out before wrapping you into his chest. you sniffled and cried into his shoulder, staining yet another one of his items, yet this time it was with your tears.
“i’m sorry, you’re probably furious right now because i know you hate messes and it’s bloody and not clean and-“
“hey.” his stern voice caught your attention as your lip quivered, feeling guilt surge throughout your body. “i’m not mad at you. i could never be mad at you for something like this.”
you curled up and clutched your stomach as a vicious cramp took over your lower region, balling your fists in the process.
levi brushed your hair and sighed, feeling terrible that you were in pain. “hold on baby, i’ll go get you some painkillers.” he started to get up before you grasped his wrist to pull him back down.
“what about the sheets? i can pay for new ones, or wash these ones, or-”
“no, no honey. i’ll wash them, don’t worry.” he rubbed your kneecap, attempting to soothe your cries. “do you want to take a shower? i know those can sometimes make you feel better during this time of the month.”
you nodded as he helped you stand up to the bathroom, even though you weren’t in need of assistance. you covered your face with your palms. “i’m so embarrassed.”
“baby, don’t be embarrassed, i’ve heard it’s normal. don’t stress over it.” he kissed the top of your head, flashing a rare smile as he smelled traces of the floral shampoo he loved so much.
you looked down to examine the crime scene, eyeing the blood that had stained your sleep shorts and inner thighs. “but it’s so gross and messy! it’s all over!”
“sweetheart, you should know me at this point. there’s almost nothing in this world that can’t be cleaned, if i’m being honest.” he guided you to the bathroom before grabbing the bottle of pills and a few feminine products out of the cabinet. “now, i’ll leave you in here while i go start the laundry, just call if you need anything.” he kissed your head again before closing the door, instructing you to leave your stained clothes outside.
•••
after taking a nice, hot shower and putting on the comfy clothes levi had gotten for you on the toilet lid, you made your way out of the bathroom only to be greeted by a delicious smell coming from the kitchen downstairs. your stomach growled at the fact that you hadn’t eaten anything in hours.
levi was dressed in a simple cotton tank and sweats as he used a spatula to flip over a beautiful golden-brown pancake. slightly startling him, you wrapped your arms around his torso and sighed out loud.
“how was the shower, angel?” he asked as you moved around his body before attempting to sit up on the counter.
he hoisted you up, holding onto your thigh with one hand and grasping the pan handle with the other.
“it was good.” you said with a smile. “i feel much better.”
“i’m glad.” he sighed. “now, i’m no chef, but i tried making your favorite pancakes. can’t promise that they aren’t poisoned but hopefully they’ll be alright.” he shrugged playfully, doubting his cooking skills.
you squealed in happiness before taking a big whiff of the lovely scent surrounding the kitchen. “levi, how did i ever find someone like you?”
“pshhh, i should be asking myself that question.”
“seriously, thank you for everything.” you motioned him over as he leaned into the counter, allowing you to wrap your arms around his waist. “i just felt terrible because it wasn’t supposed to start today and i wasn’t prepared and i’ve never bled onto the sheets before-”
“hey, hey. that’s okay, i don’t care.” he stroked your thigh up and down. “‘might sound crazy coming from me, i know, but i just want you to be comfortable, is all. and hopefully,” he paused while putting a few pancakes on a plate for you, “these will make you feel a little bit better.”
“thank you, love.” you accepted the plate graciously before levi picked you up off of the counter and began to walk over to the breakfast nook, you following suit.
“i love you, darling.” levi kissed your soft lips and rubbed your back in comfort.
“i love you too, levi.”
•••
370 notes · View notes
melancholysway · 1 year
Text
ROTTMNT Rise!Leo x Reader: Camera Shy
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He’s such a cutie omg
anonymous said: If it’s not asking much, but could you please do some Headcanons or a scenario with… honestly whichever version, I’m addicted to rottmnt lately but please do with whichever you think suits better, and whichever turtle you think it might suit this scenario better or idk me lols *tucks hair* -with a reader (x reader scenario, i Hope I’m making sense lmao- could be already in a relationship or crush stage) and reader seems rather off during movie night or game night, no one seems to notice I guess (besides crushing turtle) and that seems to make them even more reclusive. Gets bad to the point when someone tries to take a pic of them or someone asks for a picture off all of them together, they jump out and say they will take it, when crushing turtle asks them to be in the picture, reader says it’s alright or it doesn’t matter and take it anyway? From Not being in the picture (doesn’t like to take pics bc of how they look, they like the whole making memories concept but hate how they look in very picture, and today it’s been hard to deal with it) do you mind doing something more on a comforting scenario?
This is for one of my good online friends, i hope you like it! &lt;3 ily queen omg
We all know rise!Leo is a camera whore
Like the man will really snatch the camera away & put it on himself he gives no type of fucks
Y’all can clown rise leo all you want, but he’s observant. He notices EVERYTHING. everyone around him, he knows
So he knows when there’s even a slight shift with you
He’s not an over analyzer, he just knows how to read the room well and feel the vibe
And if he doesn’t like said vibe prepare to hear his mf mouth
You have a crush on Leonardo. It happens fairly quick after meeting him and his brothers. The way you met them was…peculiar. Your friend April had lost Mayhem in her bathroom mirror, and as you came over unannounced to surprise her with takeout, you were greeted with four turtles coming through her mirror along with her…er…mystic cat. 
You think you’re living in a fantasy world at first
She doesn’t exist or these 4 life sized turtles
But when the one in blue with red scars speaks to you and says how he’s so good-looking that he left you speechless and caused you to faint, you come to the conclusion that it’s all real.
So it’s settled, you share the takeout with April and the turtles, and you get to meet Mayhem. It’s a win-win…-win. 3 wins!
As time goes on, you become comfortable around them, you gravitate toward Leonardo. He has an encapsulating personality that honestly, anybody could fall for. If you brush past the cocky comments and large ego, Leo’s perfect.
Crushing on Leo is no easy feat. He’s hyper yet lazy, unpredictable yet calculated, and his ego is the size of a fucking Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float
If you date Leo, he’ll always attempt to get you out of your comfort zone. It doesn’t matter how, he’ll do it.
Despite being close to Leonardo, you don’t tell him about your own personal insecurities. You avoid cameras and taking photos with friends, all of that. 
You’re able to keep that in for a long time. A while, actually. Leo has no idea, his brothers have no idea, nobody knows. 
Unbeknownst to you, Leonardo likes you, too. He however, decides to not say anything for the time being. 
He flirts with you, but subtly. Small compliments here and there, occasional touch, loves to be around you? Yeah, that kind of subtle. His flirting is so painfully obvious to April yet somehow brushes past you. He’s just being friendly, right? Maybe? Or (hopefully) you beat him to the punch and confess your potential feelings for him? That's the thing, he’s not sure if you feel the same way. Sure, his occasional flirtatious manner gets you blushing like mad, but that’s normal when someone compliments you.
Back to your personal conflict.
You keep so much in including emotions that Leo just can’t read you at times. He reads actions, not minds. He can’t tell that you feel insecure about yourself in photos until the sleepover. He sees it. He finds out. Thanks to being invited to a sleepover down in the Lair. He realizes it.
And oh, does he have a mouthful to tell you when he does.
“Okay, the annual Sewer Sleepover is ending in T-minus 30 minutes people!” Donnie says, checking his watch absentmindedly. Once the sleeping portion was done, it always ended with a big friends/bros breakfast in the morning. 
“Are we taking flics?”
Raph cocks a brow and Mikey snickers, “Flics?” Donnie asks, watching as Leo gets up from his spot on the couch and stretches. 
“I’m just…wow that felt good,” cracking his back for everyone to see causes April to cringe from the noise,   “I’m trying to be hip.”
“It’s not working.” April comments, putting her eye mask back on and flopping back on her spot on the floor. 
You were participating in the 4th annual Sewer Sleepover with April and the turtles. Leo had mentioned it one day, to which Mikey suggested you join the next one as it was coming up soon. It’s today! Err, yesterday, actually. It was an amazing time, you got to hang out with your good friends, gorge on food, play video games together, and the best part: draw a penis on the sorry sucker who fell asleep first. 
It was Donnie, by the way. So it’s pretty hard right now to keep a straight face without snickering everytime you look at him, so everyone just avoided eye contact. Nobody has the heart to tell him; poor Donnie. He just looks so excited to take this photo and told April to put it at an angle to get his “good side.”
How did you get to this point? You’re sandwiched in between Raph and Leo while he puts an arm around you. As much as you’re crushing on Leo right now, you feel uncomfortable as you wait for April’s phone to finish counting down and snap a picture. The longer you wait and the more anxious you get to hear the camera snap, you begin to feel sick. 
3…
2…
1…
“Crap.” What a relief. The phone fell from the contraption April made to keep the phone standing up. Maybe she should just invest in a phone stand or something.
Before she can readjust the phone back, you swiftly leave Leo’s grip, grabbing the phone and standing behind it. 
“Here,” you start, “I can take it instead.” 
“What? No way, Y/n! You have to be in the 4th Annual Sewer Sleepover Extravaganza photo!” Leo exclaims, earning a nod from Raph and Donnie.
“Yeah,  Y/n, we can just find another spot to put it, no biggie.” April adds, yet you don’t agree. You’d really, really rather not be in the group photo. Plus, what’s so bad about being behind the camera, anyway? 
You can feel your anxiety rising as now all eyes are on you, Leo’s making it especially worse. After a few moments, you just huff in slight annoyance. 
“Guys,” You breathe, “I can take it. It’s not that serious.”
“It is! We want you in the photo too!” Raph tries to change your mind, yet you can’t be persuaded. 
“Maybe Y/n’s just camera shy. Is that it?” Donnie blurts out. Sometimes, Donnie doesn’t really think about what comes out of his mouth. Most of the time it’s just his inner thoughts, but this time, his inner thoughts are correct. 
Camera shy was just the tip of the iceberg for you. There were other factors. None of which you would be outright telling everyone, either.
“Yeah, Don,” You sigh and fiddle with your fingers, “That’s exactly it.” There’s a slew of silence that only seems to be awkward to you, and it results in the others complying and getting back in their spots for the photo. You glance at Leo as you lift up the camera and begin to count down, and he realizes he isn’t going to be able to stand next to you during the photo anymore. His eyes quickly meet yours, and when they do, you immediately hide your blush behind the phone, only for him to give a look of concern. Something just wasn’t right with you. 
~
You’re feeling better for the time being. After placing what’s just transpired in the back of your mind, you try to distract yourself by helping Mikey flip pancakes while the rest of the brothers and April (attempt) to help. Except Leo, he’s banned from the kitchen. Because of this, he’s never really sure what to do during the group breakfast cooking portion of the sleepover. That is, until, you accidentally get pancake batter on your shirt thanks to being clumsy, and you’re on your way to to wash it off in the bathroom upstairs. 
“Gah, stupid Bisquik mix,” You curse to yourself, using all the strength you have to scrub the stain out under cold running water. As you’re hunched over the sink, you fail to notice Leonardo walk past the open bathroom door, only to realize it when he clears his throat. 
“You shouldn’t be camera shy.”
As you stop scrubbing for a moment, you don’t look back at him. “It’s deeper than that, Leon.” Continuing to scrub, Leo walks into the room, his eyes focused entirely on you. 
He liked it when you used his nickname. Leon beats Leo for some odd reason, and it made him feel good. 
You didn’t want to admit the fact that there’s something more going on, but it’s Leo, he wouldn’t scream to the whole world your personal problems (unless you approved of course,) he had respect for others (to a degree.)
“I know, I- okay, you’re never gonna get out the stain if you’re scrubbing it like that.” 
So, you sit there in silence for a bit, watching as Leo scrubs at your shirt- the right way. Not any different from the way you were doing it, but to each their own. 
“Are you insecure?” Leo takes on Donnie’s persona at times, he says what he thinks. Like right now, where he’s not trying to intrude, but he wants to know. Is that how you feel about yourself? 
So, you tell Leo everything. It comes out like word vomit, and you’re going 100 miles per hour trying to make sense of your emotions. 
You’re insecure, you lack self-confidence, you don’t think you look good in photos, you think that you’re better off behind the camera rather in front of it. It’s something that’s been bothering you for quite awhile. That you don’t belong in group photos with your friends, as bad as it sounds. You think it’s true. You don’t belong.
“For what it’s worth,” Leo stops, just the water being the only sound in the bathroom, “I think you do.” You belong. To Leonardo, you belong. He’s midway into almost finishing getting the stain out of your shirt and says that. As your breath hitches, Leo looks up at you, his eyes once again looking at yours- thinking he said something wrong. But, he didn’t. You needed to hear that, and it coming from Leonardo made it much more meaningful. The guy you have feelings for thinks of you in such a way that makes you appreciate him. 
As the heat rises in your cheeks, you turn the other way, trying to find something in the bathroom to distract you. Those monarch butterfly shower curtains look nice, wouldn’t you say?
“Th-thanks, Leon, I…um…” You stop yourself, just because Leo lifted your spirits, doesn’t mean he likes you, does he? But he just looks so good right now, his hands on your shirt still trying to get that god forsaken Bisquick pancake mix stain out- who knew batter could be such a bitch to get out of clothing? And oh, the way his arm brushes against your skin while he’s doing it? Come on. You’re practically inhaling his scent- he always smells like this Axe spray he found while digging through Raph’s old things one day, and he abuses it so much. He thinks it’ll attract mates. Well, he’s half-correct. Though it wasn’t the reason it attracted you, it still had you in a chokehold. 
“I know what it’s like to not like the body you’re in. I mean, look at me, Y/n, A life-size mutant turtle. The average person is most likely scared of my dashing good looks.” This is Leonardo’s way of being supportive, guys. 
“Well,” You swallow, mustering up the courage to say what you’ve been thinking this whole time since knowing Leonardo, “I like the way you look.” You say it with your chest, and your assertiveness makes Leo’s eyes light up. You like Leo’s presence. It doesn’t repulse you. 
“Me too. I mean! I like YOU, wait- I like the way you look, too.” Now, Leo is a confident guy, but right now, you just had him stumble over his words. He likes you? 
“What I mean is, I think you should’ve been in the photo with us. You look great.”
He thinks you look great. 
And God, his (very hot) voice complimenting you like that? He knows what he’s doing. He’s the flirty type, everyone knows that. But, he’s flirting with you!
“It’s out.” Leo lets go of your shirt, and looking down, you just see a damp spot in the middle of it, though the stain is gone. “You actually got it all out, thank you.” 
“I’m simply a threat against any food-caused stain.” He says, puffing up his chest only to earn a small laugh from you. He smiles, looking at you, only for your eyes to meet with his. 
He suddenly gets this boost of confidence- more than usual, and pulls a Donnie.
“I think you’re like, really pretty.” 
Oh! Alright, Leo. His voice lowers to a whisper, and it seems as he’s drawing closer to you. Or are you drawing closer to him? It’s a little bit of both, a spur of the moment kind of thing. You both just…get closer. His lips come closer to yours, and when it’s up to that point where you’re too nervous to continue, Leonardo is the one to close the gap in between you two. 
His lips on yours? You could die right now. Despite Leo’s flirting, you couldn’t have seen it coming. Especially right now. His little compliments here and there now hold lots of meaning to you. 
The kiss doesn’t last long, as it’s your first kiss together. However, pulling away from Leo left you empty. You wanted more from him. Come to find out, he felt the exact same. So instead of continuing it in the bathroom, he grabs your hand and steps out into the hallway. There’s commotion coming from the kitchen, but nowhere else. Leo picks a wall for your back to lean on and you share the second kiss. His hand under your chin while the other around your waist. It’s a beautiful moment, and it feels so fucking good. Your hands play with the ends of Leo’s bandana, to which he hums into the kiss as a response. Eyes closed, oblivious to everything around you, and the feeling of your lips on Leo is truly enchanting.
“Hey Y/n I- oop-” You jolt back to reality, breaking the kiss and looking at April, who’s staring sheepishly at you and Leonardo, “Nnnnevermind, uh---oh! pancakes are kissin- I mean sizzling!” April huffs, inhaling slowly, “The pancakes are sizzling. I’ll um…leave-”
Once April goes back down toward the kitchen, far away from you and Leo, only for you both to laugh together. 
“Okay, that was so-”
“Awkward?”
“Aww, Y/n,” Leo cooes, “We’re already finishing each other’s sentences.”
Although you wanted to kiss Leo more, the food was smelling so good, and it seemed that he had the same thought. You were both starved. 
As Leo talks about how he was so ready to tell everyone with his hand in yours, he’s then brought down only for the others to tell him straight up that it was pretty obvious. 
“Like, serious?” Donnie deadpans, while Raph scolds Mikey for putting an insane amount of syrup on his pancakes. He um…enjoys syrup with a side of pancakes. “I knew it! I should’ve betted money or something.” 
Although it’ll take time to get comfortable taking photos with friends, you’re lucky enough to have someone like Leo, who'll pick you up and shower you with compliments. Anything to help you feel better about yourself.
//
taglist:
@bee-1n-space @ducky-died-inside @writingandcrying
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blingblong55 · 5 days
Note
Can I ask why you dont like her? (Brittany)
(Please ignore this if you dont feel comfortable)
this is my opinion, my views and if you dont like it, you can happily leave :) It's long...I know
I just sent this exact reason to a friend so I’m copying and pasting what I texted her but with more context
Alr here it goes, to me she’s become a hypocrite. Sometime ago she had said that people should talk about any cause that deserves attention. (BLM or what is happening in Palestine for example) When she was asked to speak about what is happening in Palestine, she made a comment on her close friends that left me annoyed with her. It annoyed me bc I was such a huge fan of her and the way she said that her voice as a white woman wouldn’t matter to the conversation of Gaza made me mad. Just educating someone about something as tragic as what is happening is so important, she has a huge platform and her voice could reach more people, it can help. She can't claim to be an activist when she picks what she can and can't talk about, white privilege shit. She set the standard for herself, this is not me just hating. She said she cares about what is happening but associated with people like that Ethan guy from the H3 podcast, he's a zionist! It's so sad to know that someone I supported is just putting an act, she's performing for us and her so called activism.
She always says that how dare we or anyone that has a platform for that matter, stay silent or not use our platforms to speak about what is happening, the injustice that we see or that others are going through. I'm not making it up. She cries and rants on camera about human rights, she preaches about this but doesn't say shit when we need her to speak up? be for real girl
I know you or others could be fans of her and hate me for my opinions but know this; If a man would stay silent during women's suffrage, like in America with abortion getting banned, would we not be mad at him? would we understand that he isn't qualified because he is a man? we as women would be mad, upset and disappointed that he didn't back us up, so why let her stay silent? a man doesn't know shit about women's reproductive health, and maybe she doesn't know much about what is happening to Palestinians, but why are we allowing her to just sit back and not speak up about this?
The war doesn't affect her but it affects people who are her fans, strangers, children, mothers, fathers and the future of that country, so why stay silent?
Maybe to her or any person who doesn't go through social injustice doesn't see the importance in this. But the next time you see a father or mother carry their dead child, the one that should've seen more of life, think about those who stayed silent and didn't make this a bigger deal, that because of them, we can't do much because our voices are smaller compared to theirs.
On another note, she, to me is the kind of person to speak nicely to you but hate you to others. The Tana and Brittany thing, I get it, tana is controversial but so is that Ethan guy and that other Theo dude. She keeps appearances when it comes to sitting down and talking with other women who yes, tana is an ableist and all but look at those two other men. Ethan, a zionist, Theo a misogynist. The only reason why she posted on her TikTok about the whole Palestine thing, which I'm sure she wasn't happy about, is because someone recorded her close friends and people saw it, got mad at her and she had to backpedal like Watcher. (their shit isn't as serious as her imo)
Hate me all you want but don't you dare say I'm not a girls girl. I am but I also don't support women or men who are hypocrites.
Remember she said this when she was asked to speak about the genocide, "It's dystopian that I have to speak on this", yeah...no thank you girl
I'll end my rant with this, "If you have a platform, and you have people's ear, you have their attention, how dare you not speak about the things that matter." Brittany Broski
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watanabes-cum-dump · 10 months
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Random HCs abt command but specifically Hassen and Nikola
Note: “Command” just sort of refers to the people who hand out missions. So Celica, Asimov, Nikola and Hassen
Okay okay so Nikola very obviously Slavic coded, I think Russian bc he’s immune to the cold lol like in Luna’s interlude he’s watching Lucia train in the snow in nothing but a SUIT. That out of the way
A friend suggested that Hassen is Pakistani American and honestly? I can get behind that. I do think he’s only half tho bc this guy is a white man 💀 I’m sorry but being raised in an orphanage did not help him.
Nobody in command can cook. Absolutely nobody. Except for Celica. Bc that girl can do everything
I also think that Celica can speak like five different languages. She’s just built like that
I think it’d be funny if Celica is trying to explain something and she just blanks and forgets how to explain it in all five languages.
Nikola gains an accent when he’s really angry. It’s like a scale the angrier he gets the more Russian he gets. (idk but personally I gain a weird Filipino accent when I’m frustrated does this happen to anyone else?) If anyone hears him yelling in Russian they better hide because Nikola does not yell
Oh yeah and on that, I don’t think Nikola yells. Yes he’s very menacing and scary and you know when he’s mad, but he never yells. And it’s because he has a nice, tight lid and control over his emotions. Basically you REALLY have to screw up in order for him to yell at you.
Hassen is scary for a different reason and that is that he’s super patient. When he’s mad he’s twice as a scary because once again, you have to really fuck up. He can tolerate A LOT but the scariest thing in the world is an angry Hassen because it’s probably very justifiable
I think this is somewhat in part to him actually being rather cunning. I think he can be quite manipulative as well and that’s where he gets the patience from
Asimov canonically having an attitude is kinda funny to me. Everyone else is stepping on eggshells around the president and commander but Asimov’s unhinged ass is out here like “Uh yeah, so here’s the thing; you’re fucking wrong”
I think the little nerd is feisty and he’s a a little smug about it because he knows that he’s usually right
I genuinely think Hassen and Nikola are friends. You can pry this from my cold dead hands but they’ve known each other forever and they are both the leaders of the Kurono hate club. They trust each other so much I just know it
Nikola has siblings and they’re all high ranking Kurono members
Nikola strikes me as a rich boy that was funnelled into politics and shady business by his parents. Idk he gives that vibe
Asimov has a sweet tooth. Maybe because it helps him stay awake idk.
Hassen keeps alcohol in his office. It’s not even like a nice wine or anything it’s just cheap beer
Asimov has a dark sense of humour. I just feel like he cracks some very out of pocket jokes sometimes
I know Hassen is good with kids it is written all over him
I like to think that surprisingly, Asimov is too. Hey, kids LOVE cool science he would be a neat baby sitter and they’d make one of those little baking sofa volcanoes or smth
Celica is not. She has no idea how to deal with the little suckers but they all like her anyways bc funny lady say funny words
I’m sorry but Nikola is last place here I don’t think he can deal with kids at all 💀 I feel like it could mostly be rooted in his guilt from helping Kurono get actual children to experiment on. Yeah he just cannot with children. He doesn’t hate them though
Anyways that was it for today’s episode of Kou’s Delusions hope you enjoyed it!
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Forst of all, I adore Hotch when he told Reid that if he has to be mad at someone he should be mad at him! He literally told him that JJ and Emily are the last people to blame in that mess but Spencer was just like nah and still thought is was okay to blame JJ. Who followed orders. To protect her best friend. And also suffered from that secret.
But yeah lets just ignore the fact WHY JJ did that. I think Reid fans focus to much about JJ saying that Spencer was mad bc he couldn't control his feelings or something and never thought about how he hurts JJ when he said he almost took drugs again and blames her for it.
I think both were in the wrong for saing the things they said in that scene. But I think the fans makes JJ's words a bigger problem than they ended up being and ignore that Reid's words also hurted her and blames her for something that where out of her control.
I agree with all of this! I think fans, especially those of Reid, need to pay attention to all of this. First and foremost, if JJ told Reid or anyone else on the team, it will put the risk of their lives at the hands of Doyle, which means even Reid would be dead if he knew. And I’m pretty sure fans will still hate JJ and Emily for that too.
From what I remember of the episode, Reid in the entire ep began saying hurtful things towards JJ with snarky comments and JJ tried to ignore most of them. In fact, the first time she notices that Reid ignored her and Emily when she asked if he didn’t go to brunch, she said “he hates me” and Emily tells her to let him be and JJ does that.
When they’re partnered together, JJ was talking about the details of the case and Reid decided to say “Emily was buried underground and no one seemed to notice”. He started saying something and JJ wanted him to talk about it bc she knows he’s having a hard time expressing his feelings. He only keeps ignoring her and outright said that JJ had been faking her tears the entire Doyle situation. In that same scene and onwards, he continues making all these remarks towards her and she ends up trying to push them aside.
JJ’s first few approaches were actually a lot more appropriate than fans make it out to be. Considering the setting of where they are: at work. They have to be professional even around the local officers, and everyone at work were uncomfortable and tense. It seems that JJ was trying to talk to him in a mature manner of trying to get him to open up about his feelings the first few times and if he didn’t want to talk, she decides to give up and move on with the case. The next scene, she clocks on his behavior and tries to get on his level of pettiness, to see if he would react bc if he didn’t respond the first time, she would have to use a different approach. Nothing happens then.
The next scene, JJ confronts Reid and tells him straight (not harshly at first) that they needed to talk. Then, she finally gets fed up and says the whole “you couldn’t profile us” thing, knowing that they will get him to talk. It wasn’t that she knows he couldn’t profile her or Hotch; that was her only tactic left. She used it as a last resort, she wasn’t smug about it and what happens? Reid actually responds back.
They could’ve dealt with this issue outside of work and JJ has already been trying to get them to speak in private from the beginning. Even Hotch pulls Reid aside and tells him he could take his anger on him instead of JJ, and Reid pretty much ignores all that, and this scene happens before the whole argument, if I remember correctly. JJ didn’t even know he was considering using Dilaudid again that time bc he didn’t know how to express his feelings at the times he cried at her house, and she wanted to be in denial that he was thinking about relapsing, at least that’s how I saw it. Because if something did happen to Reid whether or not it was because of that, JJ would never forgive herself at all, even though as you mentioned, it would be out of her control.
I’m not dismissing him considering/almost relapsing or his anger. In fact, the way this whole ep was written or how the writers choose to gloss over everyone’s frustration the whole arc was questionable and disappointing. It was more of how fans reacted to this whole thing, how the situation could’ve been handled outside of work or in private because it would affect the team working the case (which was appropriately handled by Hotch and the first few times by JJ), and what could’ve happened if the whole team was in on the secret of Emily being alive the entire time.
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Hi~~ May I request a scenario where the reader has been avoiding Kohaku due to the fact that they (the reader) are kinda unsure if he returns their feelings, so Kohaku actively tries to seek them out to figure out whats wrong :) (The reader hasn't confessed or anything, but they're afraid of their own feelings getting in the way or whatevaaa) So ya! maybe a teeny weeny bit of angst :D! Personalitywise maybe a somewhat quiet and reserved, but also kind and helpful reader? Hmmm yeah i think that's about it! No pressure and take your time~
-🐏
Kohaku Oukawa x GN!reader - Confrontation
Characters: Kohaku Oukawa 
Genres: Angst (it’s like. Very little. Teeny, even.), Fluff
Smaller “tags”: Kohaku POV(? Like it’s third person but focused on Kohaku), confessions, overthinking, someone tell me how to write Kohaku please orz, GN!reader
TW: None!
Word Count: 1628
A/N: This was actually the first request I received, thank you 🐏 anon! Sorry for taking so long (ノ_<。) It’s still a lil’ hard for me to write one-off scenarios without going mad on the backstory /sobbing/ This used to be… 2-3k words? Then it was cut down bc I think the backstory might’ve been unnecessary, and then I had a looong time of going back and forth on whether I wanted to keep the backstory- and finally settled on ~1.5k words orz 
I’m not sure if I wrote Kohaku’s character properly either?? A little confused on how to go about this boy, sorry if I mischaracterized him! The title is kinda weird too… At time of posting, it’s nearly 12 am and my brain is sneepy, I can’t think of anything better for now, sorry! orz
Please, enjoy!
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KOHAKU OUKAWA 。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
It’s been weeks. Close to two months now, where he barely had the chance to speak to you or even see you. Kohaku was going to go mad. 
He had taken every chance he could think of to interact with you - eating at the cafe where you worked as a part-timer (he had picked you up from the entrance of this very cafe to go play several times), visiting your favourite shops (both of you frequented sweet shops, often together instead of alone), even near-spam texting you and sending pictures of the scenery around him (he missed going to the park with you, where you’d worry and fuss over him whenever he climbed a tree). 
Yet he was met with no results. Every time he tried to reach you, you turned away, leaving him to grasp blindly at the space you left behind in his heart. Why? Were you sick of him tagging alongside you all the time? Had he wronged you in an unforgivable way? 
Kohaku seemed cold and aloof at times, but he truly cared for the people around him, cared about what they thought of him, including you - or maybe especially you, with how much he enjoyed hanging out with you, making you laugh, hearing you ramble on in that hushed voice of yours when you both came across something interesting. He missed you. 
And what would he, Kohaku Oukawa, do when he missed someone? That’s right - seek them out to no end (A first time, but this was apparently what he did).  
And perseverance is rewarded. 
“Wait!” 
He finally, finally manages to catch you one day, quite literally too. Kohaku had reached out and grabbed your arm the moment he saw you again, your body already turning away in an attempt to escape, but his hold on your arm was firm and unyielding. 
“Why? Why are ya running away from me?” Words pour out of him, afraid that you might go before he hears an answer, a conclusion, an explanation for your actions. His grip on your arm tightens in his panic, making you wince slightly. He doesn’t notice, desperation clouding his mind. “Please, talk to me. Did I do something wrong?”
You hurriedly land your other hand over his, trying to loosen the pink-haired boy’s grasp, prying his fingers away. “Kohaku, let go!” 
Lavender eyes widened with shock and remorse, and your arm was suddenly free. His gaze left you, teeth nibbling away at the inside of his mouth. He couldn’t look at you. How could he have done that? He hurt you. You had every right to hate him, run away, lash out… 
Kohaku blinks when his hovering hand is held, fingers wrapping around his palm. Then after a moment, another hand follows, surrounding his hand and heart with warmth. He stares at your collapsed hands for a moment, before lifting his head. This time, you were the one avoiding his eyes, choosing to fix your gaze on your hands as he’d done earlier. 
“... I’m sorry.” 
He also didn't expect to hear that. 
What were you sorry for? Why were you sorry? He was the one who should apologize, not you. But his mouth refused to open, throat still constricting with guilt. 
“I’m sorry,” You repeat, voice so soft the Kohaku would have missed it if not for his yearning to simply hear you for the past weeks. “I shouldn’t have… I…” 
Were you looking for an excuse to make him feel better? Kohaku would rather have the cold, hard truth. If you were truly sick and tired of him, he would accept it. At least, that was how he hoped he would react. 
“Do ya hate me?” A straightforward question - he hated beating around the bush. 
“What-?” Your teary eyes finally meet his - you were close to crying. But why? Why, why, why? He wants to hold you, to comfort you in the only way he knew, learnt from his younger years on the internet. But the male couldn’t bring himself to tear his hand away from yours, so instead, he reaches up with his other hand while you shake your head furiously. “No, no, never - I don’t hate you. Not at all-!” 
You fall silent when he makes contact with the side of your head, awkwardly stroking and messing up your hair. Kohaku’s heart practically melts when you let out a small sob and nuzzle your head further into his palm, closing your eyes as you did so. He had missed you so, so much. And it didn’t look like you had avoided him because you hated him - a relief, but why had you been avoiding him, then? 
“I…” It’s only when your mouth moves again that he realises he had spoken his latter thoughts out loud. You lifted your head away from his touch, much to his disappointment, but your hands stayed firmly around his. The male feels little taps on his hand, from your fidgeting thumbs. Were you nervous? Scared? Why? 
He had so many questions, but no answers. Not yet, at least. 
Kohaku awaits your response, bringing his other hand to join your already-linked hands, eyes fixed on you and you alone. Something bubbled in his chest, an unfamiliar feeling, but he ignores it, deeming your answer of more importance at this moment. 
“I…You.” 
“Hah? I can’t hear ya. A little louder?” He wonders why your face has become a shade of light pink like his hair, colour becoming more intense with every passing second. “... Hello?” 
“I like you!” 
“Eh?” 
Did he hear you wrongly? He must’ve. There was no way- How- And him, him of all people? 
Mind still reeling from your confession, he nearly misses your following words. “I’m sorry.” You say, looking down. That only confuses the pink-haired boy even further. What were you apologizing for, now? For avoiding him? For having just confessed? For liking him? 
Something blooms in his chest. Kohaku quickly pries his hand out of your grasp, instead engulfing you in a hug. He finally releases the breath he’d been holding ever since weeks ago, tense shoulders sagging as he holds you close. 
“Don’t apologize. Ya got nothin’ to say sorry for,” His voice is nearly muffled in your shoulder, but he was close enough that you could hear him anyway. A long sigh is dragged out from him, fingers curling around the back of your clothes. “Ya seriously avoided me for so long because ya liked me? What kind of backwards logic-” 
He cuts himself off with another sigh. Kohaku was just so relieved, so happy, so satisfied right now, being able to hold you like this without you pushing him away. He never knew he needed this, but he never wants to stop hugging you now. 
“Sorry… I- Just forget what I said,” Your forehead rested on his shoulder, voice wavering, nearly pleading with your next words. “...Can we still be friends?” 
Friends? Kohaku didn’t think that was the next step after one confessed to another. Was he missing something here… Oh. He was so caught up with everything happening at once that he forgot the most important, and possibly most embarrassing part. 
“I, um, I like ya too. Like, a lot,” His voice lowers to a mumble, almost embarrassed to say the words he had only read in his comics. The male wasn’t one to express his affections so blatantly, whether with words or actions - but with you here, already in his arms, perhaps he could show some weakness. 
“...Really?” He feels slightly hurt at the disbelief in your soft voice, pulling back to grip your shoulders and look you dead in the eyes, violets staring into you. 
“When have I eva’ lied?” 
Your gaze shied away from his, blinking off to his left instead as you gave an answer. “...Never?” 
“That’s right. So do ya think I’m lying now, of all times?” Kohaku tilts his head to the left to catch your eye again, voice dropping to a shaky whisper as his brows furrow. The male’s hands leave your shoulders, finding your limp hands again to cup them and hold them up as if he were praying to you. “Ya know me better than anyone, I would think. If ya don’t know if I’m lyin’ or not right now, who would?”
You were his friend, his confidant, his respite, his… Everything, basically. This feeling in his chest was close to overwhelming him at this point - a first, he thinks. Or maybe not. Maybe he had always felt this way around you, but was too utterly distracted by your presence and how much joy it brought him that he had never realized. 
He was happy to have you around. He was happy to have you. You made him happy. 
Such simple logic, and Kohaku had never noticed until he was deprived of your company for a month or so. Sigh, how stupid he was, Kohaku now realized. He should know to cherish you more. To cherish the ones he loved more. 
“If that’s the case, then… What does make us?” 
“I think... Lovers?” He couldn’t stop himself from the sheepish grin spreading across his face, saying that word, even more so when he sees your face turning into various shades of pink again. His face right now probably matched his hair too, a whole palette of cherry-blossom pink displayed for your eyes only. 
He watched intently as several emotions flashed across your face at once - surprise, bewilderment, embarrassment, and finally, settling on joy. The smile he had wished to even catch a glimpse of in the past month was in front of him, cheekbones hiding a sliver of your eyes. 
“Lovers, then.” 
Kohaku swore he’d never felt more like a giddy, honey-drunk bee than that very moment.
“But seriously, don’t ya go avoiding me like that again! Ya scared me…” 
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arabian-bloodstream · 2 years
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You know what I’m mad at the sex scene again. I’ve seen so many takes from rhae x alicent shippers making comparisons of alicent with viserys and it’s pissing me off bc low key her face did not look satisfied. I’m sorry guys but the actor could have done better. Rhae even had a better sex scene with cole. If they wanted to portray pleasure they should’ve have made it more clear. I don’t want to make it Emma’s fault but they do hate the ship so I wouldn’t be surprised if that was their intention. I love them but seriously that look was not it.. maybe it was the director’s fault but I can’t get over it and now that it’s done there’s so many anti shippers using it for their advantage saying she’s a victim of grooming so she felt like she wanted it blah blah blah. Ugh sometimes I wish I didn’t care so much about this ship and sorry for ranting bc I really don’t care if people have other ships but most of them love to shit on daemrya so yes I’m mostly upset because even though we win we really haven’t. If this many people are thinking she looked unsatisfied maybe we’re only lying to ourselves ☹️
I disagree so completely. And this blog will NOT stand for Emma D'Arcy slander. They are an AMAZING actress. PeriodT!
ETA: As @kylo-renperor pointed out, Emma doesn’t hate the ship. They have cheered it on. They called their wedding magical. Emma said that Daemon healed Rhaenyra and gave her strength. Their very pro-Daemon. They’ve also said other pro-Daemyra things. It’s just that anything that can be taken as even remotely negative is more click-baity so all headlines grab that stuff.
Rhaenyra did not look bored. She did not have dead eyes. Her hand was curved possessively around Daemon’s neck, her fingers entangled in the strands of his hair. That look on her face was one of deep satiation, of ownership, of a roaring 'fuck you' to the gods that he was hers now, she had claimed him.
I have watched that love scene countless times now and it only grows more powerful. The people who complain and see anything less than the glorious, achingly beautiful love scene that it was from beginning to end are those who aren't paying attention to the reality and logic of the story.
Those people wanted hot, hot, fast-paced, frantic, hungry, grasping, desperate sexytiems. They wanted a Daemon smiling devilishly. They wanted tits and ass. They wanted Rhaenyra gasping, moaning, going all over-the-top O-town. They wanted Rhaenyra smiling like the cat who ate the canary in that final shot
However, if we had gotten all of that it would have just been about sex. Like the Rhaenyra/Cole scene. It would have been just about Rhaenyra’s pleasure. Just like the Rhaenyra/Cole scene.
Instead what we got was a love scene that was about two people connecting. Two people finding themselves again in each other. Two people finding home in each other. It was about two people revealing themselves to each other. It was about fragility, vulnerability, openness, need, want, trust, desire, and love. It was about two souls that were two halves finally uniting again, but it was a delicate dance because what if... what if... something happened yet again to keep things from reaching their conclusion?
And that look on Rhaenyra’s face? It was defiance against all who had held her down, held her back, kept her from her true self. Because she had found her true self once again. In his arms. And no one and nothing would take that from her ever again.
To say that the Daemyra fanbase hasn’t won is just patently wrong.
Episode 1: Daemon first scene: With Rhaenyra. They speak in Valyrian together. He tells her to “turn around” in a sensual way, gives her a gift, says “beautiful” in Valyrian. The entire scene had major flirty vibes.
All throughout the tournament, Daemon and Rhaenyra are making eyes at each other. Even when he asks/gets the favor from Alicent (which he does solely to piss off Otto), he and Rhaenyra are making eyes at each other.
At Aemma’s funeral, it’s with Daemon that she shares a moment. Again, they speak Valyrian. He comforts her. He gives her the strength to call to Syrax to light the bodies aflame.
Episode 2: Rhaenyra confronts Daemon over the stolen egg, and the framing of the scene makes it appear as if it’s just the two of them on there despite the fact that his lover and armed guard is behind him, and Otto and his small army, and Syrax is behind her. They, again, speak Valyrian, have their little private conversation. Daemon was willing to go to bloodshed with Otto, but at a few challenging words and a smirk from Rhaenyra simply throws her the egg.
Episode 3: They don’t even have scenes together and yet they are paralleled heavily.
Episode 4: Rhaenyra is fingering the necklace he gave her while meeting potential suitors. Rhaenyra sees Daemon return and looks on at him flying home on Caraxes in joyous wonder. Rhaenyra tracks Daemon’s movements in the Red Keep’s main hall. Rhaenyra is giddy while talking to Daemon with Viserys/Alicent. When Daemon/Rhaenyra talk, he listens to her, she tells him her true feelings. He takes her out, we have some fun times, some sexy times. Later, Daemon tells Viserys that he wants Rhaenyra as she is, he wants to wed her.
Episode 5: Daemon kills his wife so that he can be with Rhaenyra. Goes to her wedding reception, throughout the whole thing, the two exchange glances non-stop. Have a heated conversation (in Valyrian) where she tells him to make him her wife. Daemon comes this close to doing so.
Episode 6: Again, no scenes together, again, heavily paralleled.
Episode 7: Rhaenyra tracks Daemon’s movements. Daemon smiles, flustered, giddy meeting Rhaenyra’s gaze. Heartfelt, open conversation. Kissing on the beach, beautiful, haunting, open, revealing, love scene. Daemon got her back when attacked in the Driftmark Hall. Rhaenyra proposes to Daemon. They work out a plan together so they can get married. Awesomely Old Valyria style wedding ceremony where they both look at peace, joyously, ridiculously happy.
Bur, yeah, we’re not winning. OK, then.
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autisdicksimmons · 1 year
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I could literally talk about all of Simmons’s body issues for hours (no I’m not projecting ahaha) but yes he’s trans and struggles with disordered eating and he’s trans and he’s autistic and all combined those things give him a super hard time enjoying functioning as himself especially in body-related ways (these thoughts are gonna be disjointed deal w it sorry dude)
But like, the way that he gets after Grif when it comes to food, and drinking, and smoking, and everything else? Yet despite this, we know that he has quite the self-destructive streak (crying and punching mirrors) which makes him a huge hypocrite— so why get after Grif like that? One could say that it’s because he has his body parts, but that can’t be all true because he’s still getting mad at Grif before the surgery, so it’s just things that he finds inherently undesirable traits— traits that have anything to do with a lack of self control, which Simmons believes himself to have. Not to mention the fact that he doesn’t seem surprised at all when Sarge uses withholding rations as a punishment— so either A. Sarge does that a lot, which could be true though we never see him do it after season 1 B. He’s accustomed to this as a punishment.
I think B is most plausible, given Simmons’s general demeanor and upbringing. He gets mad at Grif for not doing anything to earn food, then “overindulging” anyway, where Simmons views food as just that: something to be earned. Likely he was sent to bed without supper as a punishment as a kid, or forced himself to study through meals or similar behaviors at the very least. In my own mind it goes further than that, but his relationship with food is definitely complicated (especially with his mentioning going vegan after having to eat a dog at a previous outpost??? Holy shit that’s a trauma). Especially being trans (bc he is) even though he speaks far more positively about his mother than his father, the way that body issues get passed down from mothers to their afab children? Even if it wasn’t an intentional thing on his mothers part, those things are too easy to pick up
More on the having to eat the dog thing too, that history of food insecurity/starvation, plus being generally food anxious, is definitely something that lends itself to rationing and portioning and keeping their stock organized… which he does. And then consistently gets mad at Grif for eating more than his planning has allowed for. What’s one of the first things we learn he’s been doing in season 11? Growing fucking cabbage. Which, for one, how, but also the fact that he’s the only one of them to do something like that says a lot about who he is. Stupid, anxious about food, and resigned to the fact that no one is coming to get them (or at least planning for that scenario).
Not to mention, trans people are WAY more likely to develop ED’s than cis people, and I don’t even need to go into all of the reasons I think he’s trans bc I feel like that’s a separate post and I’m sure someone else has already summarized it better— but anyway, picturing a young Simmons, struggling to fit in and be good enough for his parents and not hate himself entirely and have control over something? Yeahhh OOF plus, I’m also not explaining why I think he’s autistic rn, but adding autism to the mix? Having difficulty with certain foods and textures makes it hard to want to eat to begin with, and with the kinds of pressure he seems to have faced as a child to be strong and tough and athletic and generally not his nerdy self, having sensory problems probably made it just that much harder, making him hate the way his body responds to things other people, “normal people,” can handle fine, returning him to that cycle of self-hatred, and that’s just within himself ignoring all of the bullying we know that he’s faced. It’s no wonder the dude showers in his underwear still, like, bro’s self conscious and anxious and probably just generally does not like his body.
Also his ass is literally a fax machine. That’s gotta do a toll on the psyche
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texturralize · 9 months
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Writer of my broken soul. What has happened to the svss fics? Are you okay? Who do I need to fight for you cause I rely on those fics more than an online shopper relies on their credit card.
it’s just..kind of a unfortunate timing kinda thing..something just really discouraged me and hit on some social trauma I have and I’ve been in a funk and need to take a break from my sv fanfic. the other night I sat down to write and someone messaged me on twt to join a sj fan server.
I got super excited bc I still hadn’t ever found a sj focused server and he is (obviously) my fave. when I got in, someone mentioned being fan of my fics. so I searched them just bc I was kinda curious. well..there were a few nitpicks things here and there which is fine. but ig one of my fics, because I forgot a tag, showed up in some people’s feed even when they set their filters, and it bothered them. there were some really hurtful things said..stuff like oh you can’t trust this author, can’t believe they did this, it was disingenuous, they wanted to toss themself down the stairs from sheer disgust, it was creepy, people wanted to block me, they felt mad anytime they saw my name…it was bordering on fic/author bashing and I was shocked the conversation just continued like normal and was allowed…so I got uncomfortable and left the server.
I don’t really blame the server itself or the people who talked about me, multiple people have sent me DMs saying they felt bad and like my work and that was really sweet. one of the people who said stuff also apologized for it so it’s not like I hold a grudge. it’s just, stuff like this is kind of hard to deal with for me. it’s not that I’ve never encountered hate comments or anything on the internet, I think I was just blindsided by the situation..no one expects to encounter stuff like that in what should be a safe space for fun and ideas you were invited to. I let myself get excited and wasn’t expecting it so it really affected me.
it’s just unfortunate that it happened in that way because though I’m sure no one specifically meant to hurt me, like I said, this kind of triggered some social trauma for me. as someone who grew up with undiagnosed autism, I’ve often felt hurt and silly when I entered spaces and didn’t realize people didn’t like me until too late. I spent a long time unable to explain why I felt certain ways when these things happened bc I didn’t even understand the way my own brain worked. I also have a very direct way of communicating and don’t say things unless I mean them, so the idea of venting and being aggressive abt something but not ‘really meaning it’ is hard for me; it’s hard to understand that someone could say such cruel stuff but not take it seriously. so my brain catastrophizes and won’t let me forget what happened and there’s dysphoria when I perceive rejection, dislike, aggression, etc. BECAUSE I take those things so seriously. and I also would never bash someone or their fic bc I know fic is made from love and is 100% free so it’s hard for me to get past it y’know?
just to reiterate..I’m not mad at anyone, I don’t think anyone is a bad person. they said they made a mistake speaking like that about someone and will keep in mind what I said when we talked. I’m sure there are plenty of people in that server who like my stuff and don’t want to see me discouraged…
god, it’s just really hard, you know? it’s been a while since something really managed to hurt my feelings. I guess I just felt stupid, and kind of humiliated. it’s that feeling of walking into a room only to realize you’re the punchline…
so..yeah it just kind of has me in a funk, as someone who’s struggled to make friends and connections in fandom too despite how ‘easy’ it’s supposed to be. I’m still kind of disappointed that something I got excited over exploded so much in my face and didn’t work out. but overall I mostly just tripped into a depression spell and it’s making me feel bad to look at my work so..I decided to take a break from it. to people who like my stuff…I’m really sorry. I don’t mean to take anything away from people who really liked it. I just want to feel better.
the last time I felt this bad was a few years ago, when someone did something really horrible to me and it upset me so much and took the joy out of the fandom I was creating content for, because it was something we did together. I’m not really upset over the specifics of what was said, just the experience and how similar it was to things I’ve went through in the past. I’m upset over the fact I don’t feel like it’s fun to write right now, and I don’t want to lose this special interest like I did my last one…so yeah, just kind of sucks overall.
I hope no one feels bad about what happened for a long time. just..unfortunately, I probably will, and maybe taking a break will help..idk
sorry :(
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yaqamole · 2 years
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HWS Spain Is White (And Why I Dont Trust When He Isnt) - Indigenous Rants #1
So you all know I’ve left the Hetalia fandom. I really only linger here to support the friends I’ve made along the way as I hold all of them dear. But I thought it was about time to make this post because I have a lot of opinions regarding the subject and the careless behavior towards it.
HWS Spain is white.
No. I am not saying this in a “if youre not white you cant cosplay him har har” way. I am saying this in a “I am Indigenous and have been lied to for most of my life about that and it disgusts me to see my people treated like a monolith which includes my colonizer” way.
The fandom has had a consistent problem with treating all Spanish speakers like a monolith and being so unable to look at nuance, that nobody bats an eye at the problem with treating all Spanish speakers like they are the same.
I don’t tend to trust people who make Spain a POC because often times, it’s done simply because he is Spanish and he gets equated with culture that isnt his.
I recall when Hetalia Vines and edits were popular, people specifically edited Spain onto all of the ones from Latino creators - most often things with clear Mexican jokes.
And even now, I see people drawing Antonio as a Mexican ranchero, in mariachi clothes, and so on. People draw him doing traditions Latinos took part in and just in general keep equating Hispanic with Latino and it drives me mad.
People make him a POC not got any real reason and nobody ever dives into stuff beyond the base level for that in the context of Hetalia, and then lazily write him doing things that the Spanish do not do.
And it’s infuriating. Because I spent a good chunk of my life believing I was Spanish due to my family’s shame about who we are. And now I just feel sick at the thought of being equated to my own colonizer. It goes beyond Hetalia at that point because nobody seems to understand that Hispanic =/= Latino and Hispanic =/= Nonwhite.
Like I’m down with people giving whatever character melanin bc POC can do whatever we want. We don't get rep. But what I dislike is that people treat Antonio like he HAS to be a POC bc he’s Spanish and don't take into account the implications of that and what it feels like to Latinos who consistently have to fight tooth and nail reminding people we are NOT our colonizers and they do not belong in our business
They make him a POC and then draw him doing Latino traditions bc people homogenize all Spanish speakers and that’s my issue. If he was just a POC who was a colonizer. No biggie idc. But I’ve never seen it done without treating all Spanish speakers like a monolith
It is a consistent problem actually within the Latino community. Having to fight with Latinos who claim Spanish blood to assimilate to whiteness because it’s seen as better and Spaniards who argue that they are Latino or POC as well and speak over us in conversations that are about our struggles and the marginalization we face.
As well as the way the Spanish still screw us over to this day such as denying us our own fucking artifacts which they stole.
How people make Spain mixed never makes any sense because if he is going to be a POC and mixed, then he would be Arabic. But I have never seen that really done. People say they believe that in their headcanons and then do everything that shows the opposite.
Like good grief.
I’m uncomfortable with Antonio being a POC not because I think only white people should enjoy him but because whenever he isn’t white, people aren’t doing research and are simply making him Mexican Lite.
And you know, I have seen it done well a couple times. It’s not to say I’ve never seen it done well. And I know I myself drew him with tan skin for a while because I wished to see myself in him as a young teen. I don’t hate children having fun or everyone that gives him tan skin.
What I hate is the lack of nuance in the conversation where people are so unwilling to admit that they view Spanish speakers as a monolith that they’re willingly equating Latinos to their own colonizer.
I love POC headcanons, but I can’t help but be wary when its a POC headcanon for Spain because a lot of the times it toes the line of xenophobia because of lack of care and often it’s done because of the mentality that if you speak Spanish you must be a POC. Another concept that is incredibly harmful to Latinos especially Latinos of Color.
Overall this fandom really needs to examine its own racial biases and how their actions end up hurting BIPOC or completely erasing us from the narrative. Because I’m tired of explaining that just because someone speaks Spanish doesnt mean they’re suddenly not white. And Im tired of explaining that what everyone treats as a small joke does actually come back and bite us in the ass.
I won’t even dig into how people told me I should stick to only cosplaying Spain because of how I look. Or the way the other half of people who make Antonio a POC do it for pure exoticism and orientalism reasons. That’s a conversation for another time. And one that is way longer and gonna be way more fiery.
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afaramir · 1 month
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hiiii denethor anon here!! wow you’re really IN IT now (denethorposting). not to add more fuel to your anger but last week i saw someone say they hated denethor. and i just realised god they don’t get him even on tumblr do they. since then i’ve been silently fuming in rage. anyway… i am very Very Intrigued by both your faramir-goes-to-rivendell-au and denethor-thorongil relationship (if you ever want to write another 800 words about this, i am here for it 👀) and this line “each of them sharpens himself upon the whetstone of the other…” fuck. fucking insane actually.
unfortunately i won’t be replying for several days (i’ve had to keep my phone in another room to keep myself from getting distracted) . my exams have started AND i’m going through some shit irl :( it’s alright tho i’ll have more Faramir and Denethor Hours soon <- chanting this constantly haha. but i am with you when denethorposting IN SPIRIT okay. oh and can we please please please have denethor december? 🙏 bye will be here soon after my exams (that will be after the 23rd march i’m afraid)
hiii denethor anon <333 i am SO sorry this is so late truly attempting to figure out how to write AND see my friends AND do things like clean my apartment and go to the grocery store while working The Job...it has eaten my life. and this week my regular coffee shop switched their hours bc i live in my old college town and they are on spring break and it has sent me directly to hell. the death of My Routine…i have coped by INCESSANTLY denethorposting on tumblr dot com. i am somehow EVEN MORE in it than i was when you sent this ask. i hope you enjoy me being truly crazyinsane whenever you get a chance to look at all those posts lol. would love 2 hear your thoughts on them. but ANYWAY as always it is so lovely to see you, i'm sorry things have been tough but truly with my whole heart i bestow upon you the strength of denethor's sixty-year psychic war (with none of the associated madness) to make it through. looking at the date i hope you are free now.
here is the mandated readmore because i have never met brevity in my whole life. u said write another 800 words and i took that as a challenge um this post is like 2000 words. well...back on my bullshit
i mean this with all the love and joy in my heart but i laughed so much. no my dear friend they do not get him on tumblr. they have not gotten him on tumblr from the beginning. if you have been spared the incessant tomato jokes i truly…[crying] I Wish I Were You So Bad. this guy doesnt even know about the tumblr denethor slander (POSITIVE) (YEARNING). its the trenches out here for real. i just live in my little bubble with me and you and like four other mutuals/Denethor Understanders and that is it.
speaking of denethor and the rivendell au. i miss the days when i was working on the faramir-in-gondor scenes. emotionally it felt like dying but i kind of knew what was going on. now i am in rivendell taking and failing this history of middle earth exam. and i am so very….the next time we see denethor for real is in return of the king. now girl…how will i survive another 80k words. i miss my boy my dear darling my tortured victim of the narrative. and according to the paragraph i just wrote faramir does too but is Refusing to admit it to himself<3
im also RIDICULOUSLY torn on how i want to resolve his arc. now just between you and me. and anyone who bothers to click that read more. I DONT WANT TO KILL HIM I WANT HIM TO LIVE. GOD I WANT HIM TO LIVE. I WILL WRITE YOU A THOUSAND HAPPY ENDINGS. except its not a happy ending its a you are not allowed to die you are forced to contend with your choices you must keep living ending. because he will always be tragic no matter what. but its ALSO a you can rest now you can be at peace son of gondor you have won your war. all you sacrificed has been worth it. you have given your all when that's what duty asked you for and it has been enough. and that makes my poor heart weep.
like on one hand the idea of resolving his storyline with faramir.......the opportunity for some kind of reconciliation, some kind of understanding between them...god. delicious. i know in my heart that faramir comes home and IS the lord that denethor once dreamed of being. not playing at it...he is high and lordly and gentle and the world bends around his will and he knows exactly what to bow to and when to stand his ground and his powers are honed to a keen edge that he uses with the utmost care and. AUGH. he walks into the citadel the IMAGE of his father. it makes me feel FERAL. and how would denethor react to that. man.
BUT ON THE OTHER HAND HOW DO I END THE STORY. like. LOL. do u know what i mean. likelihood of me being able to just have a triumphant coronation and tie it all up with a bow is soooo small. the narrative contortions i would have to go through. to have denethor accept that and still be in character. Girl....no thank u <3 so we havent worked THAT out yet. like how much of the madness and despair do i want to put into the narrative. We Shall See. IM not politically savvy enough to get real into the weeds with it all so im kind of rotating just. a beautiful set of reunions with the fellowship. eowyn and faramir get engaged. boromir and faramir see all their dreams of a gondor restored come true. we skate over the political minefield and deeply navigate the beginnings of denethor and faramir's relationship in this new world. and among it all, within it all, is hope, and a new dawn. and curtain.
i got distracted but re: we are in rivendell. it IS kind of fun to think about the themes and narratives. i am pushing my Let Faramir (And Denethor) Be Numenorean + Let Numenoreans Be Weird agendas so so sooo hard and i am having the time of my life with that specifically. birds follow him around and pick up the tunes he sings. he hears the voices of the people he loves in his head. he falls into a river and after having a breakdown about it promptly decides that The River Is Testing Him And He Has Passed. he gets to rivendell and INSTANTLY knows that there is someone Very Like Him Here (its elrond. the elrond-elros-faramir connection has me FROTHING at the mouth. faramir looks at elrond and sees his father and sees every statue of elros in minas tirith and Knows that this here is the son of earendil, gil-estel, his brightest north star. elrond looks at faramir and sees his brother, his dear dead doomed brother, and every numenorean descended from him and all their sins and all their glories and yet, kind as summer, sees beauty and knowledge and a strange quiet man who carries all the weight of his country on his shoulders and yet knows him, knows the legends; perhaps the blood of numenor is not yet spent in the south)
i just think that Every Elf that meets faramir along the way is like woah...hold up. there's something up with THIS guy! men ARENT supposed to do that! not anymore anyway! galadriel is Lowkey Threatened by him. and isnt that beautiful. woman who could be queen of the earth sees god's special chosen boy and goes hang on a minute. Fuck. i think they work out their shit by the time the company leaves lothlorien but like...just thinking about how faramir lowkey blamed her for boromir's death in rotk! idk how their dynamic is exaclty gonna manifest but there's definitely some sort of similar mindreader2mindreader tension!
AND. um the idea of faramir travelling with the fellowship discovering that maybe...well. he has never wanted to be a warrior but he has been honed into a blade anyway. by his father and by necessity. and perhaps for the first time in his life...outside of gondor he does not need to be all that. he can be mithrandir's pupil without censure he can be scholarly and witty and cunning - he is all these things, in gondor. but there he has to be them, and now he can discover that yes, this is what he wants to be. and he has never let his father and the expectations of his position STOP him but there is always a weight, there is always the knowledge that your actions are disapproved of, and being away from that for a while is i just think. really good for him. see above re: he comes home the image of his father in a gentler time. keep honking im sitting in my car crying about denethor ii twenty sixth steward of gondor.jpg (<- my greatest creation PLEASE click the link lol)
ALSO IM THRILLED YOU LIKED THAT WHETSTONE LINE LOL i kind of blacked out when i typed it on the page. i think truly the crazy thing about denethor and faramir is that they SHOULD understand each other. they know so much about each other and yet are so incompetent at actually putting it to any good use towards, you know, improving their relationship. faramir is incredibly emotionally intelligent AND can read minds AND has taken so many of what he probably views as denethor's worst traits and turned them to gentler uses. (im talking about his powers but im ALSO talking about that thing he does when he encounters frodo and sam where he plays woe is me my brother is dead and i miss him sooo much to get on their good sides. yes of course he misses boromir more than anything else in the world. no he is not above using it to his advantage. and we see the SAME THING when gandalf and pippin come to minas tirith. hey isn't it crazy that both of them use boromir as a. manipulation chip. even after he's dead. hey thats kind of fucked up actually!) and denethor is…well denethor is denethor. ok im mostly messing around and thought that sentence was funny. i think he Knows most everything that goes on in faramir's head and yet Wilfully Chooses to interpret it in the worst ways because its just soo....very I Thought I Raised You Better Than That/I Honed You To Be My Blade Stop Defying Me. and despite all that the Problem is that they understand each other right up until they don't. they know how THEY feel about each other (incredible love that they can only express in the worst ways/think they're expressing only to be spurned by the other) but cannot POSSIBLY imagine that the other feels the same way.
ive gone on for SO SO LONG ALREADY LOL but. what do i have to say about denethor and thorongil. not enough and too much all at once. they're so toxic and awful for each other they're MADE for each other they're beautiful narrative parallels they're homoerotic besties they're bitter rivals they're pawns in a proxy war they're locked at all times in a psychic psychosexual situationship. um the enemy of my enemy is kissing me with tongue. idk i have more symbolism and actual analysis especially of the denethor-ecthelion-thorongil Issue. but we are just getting into it. so i will start with the situations bc i have two angles for this. on one hand i do think it is very fun if they constantly homoerotically circle each other for years and years and never do a THING about it. like...this is a stitching up wounds wiping blood off each others faces battle couple/situationship situation that THEN turns into a ridiculously high functioning political rival partnership bent together over books long into the night catching each others eye in council meetings using their very real disdain for each other for Manipulation Purposes and getting uh. SO hot over it. like.....Do You Know What I Mean. just. truly unresolved sexual tension THROUGH THE ROOF. it DELIGHTS me. they are always putting themselves in situations. and then NOT making out about it. AND THEY CAN READ EACH OTHERS MINDS!! THE WHOLE TIME!! SO THEY KNOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH THEY WANT EACH OTHER AND STILL ARENT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!! like thats just really good. but on the other hand.......the idea of just an absolutely terrible beautiful toxic rivals with benefits codependent situationship. i hate you so much and you know what we DO need to make out about it. every time they fuck it is a power play and they are having SO much fun with it. they will both start arguments with each other (AND IN PUBLIC TOO) just so they can fight and make up. the mind reading...Oh You Know What I Mean. taylor swift voice we had this big white city all to ourselves we blocked the noise with the sound of i need you and for the first time i had something to lose! logically thorongil is not yet in his grubby ranger era but the idea of him being dirt smeared all the time and hanging out with prim proper polished denethor. in the fic (which does exist and DOES follow the second model) theres a scene where hes just chilling with his head in denethor's lap and denethor is actually rather delighted and devoting ALL of his copious braincells to pretending not to be. Man. well never say im not a slut for contrast. and now the rest of what i could say is simply straight up redacted for indecency so it is time for this post to be over. the last thing i have to say is that it absolutely ruins denethor's life forever when thorongil up and leaves. sometimes a situationship....anyway. MUCH LOVE TO YOU AS ALWAYS yes we will have denethor december i already have an url saved.
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kooktrash · 2 years
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I know this is late, love your story, 'Love Me, Leave Me.' Would it be possible for you to write an alternate ending where OC actually doesn't put the ring on, indicating that she's leaving him or at least the thought of leaving him? I just want to see Jungkook's reaction and thoughts about it.
alternate ending to: Love Me, Leave Me.
it is is late but yet here I am bc for some reason I finally started outer banks and that shows actually pretty good so now I can’t sleep :P
a/n basically I don’t think Jungkook would’ve taken it well. like it’s stated that y/n and jk get angry easily and can be set off over everything so I def think he wanted to go off. The only reason why he held off was bc of the cameras and because he was able to try and think things over he was actually able to think about what was going on. I think it would’ve taken him to calm down before realizing that breaking up was the best decision for both their mental health. Like he’s really a ‘denial first, acceptance second’ kind of guy.
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He watched you closely slipping the ring onto his finger, keeping true to his word that he wouldn’t leave you. You covered your face with your hand. You should leave him. You’re not good for each other. Still, you have yet to work anything out. You fucked the anger out but all the problems were still there.
It’s like all previous plans had completely slipped your mind. You’d had so much doubt in this little eight day trip that you tried not think about it. You didn’t expect to be stuck in this predicament when you literally don’t know what to do.
Then, though hesitant, you’d done it.
Jungkook could feel every muscle in his body tense. He was almost in a frozen state staring down at your finger feeling empty. It stood bare, ring clanking against the hardwood table instead of your finger.
He forgot how to breathe for a second and everything came rushing in at once. His brain fully processed what this meant. The audacity. The fucking audacity from you right now.
He had to scoot back, force his eyes on the window instead of at you as he scoffed. He couldn’t even look at you right now, he can’t promise he’ll be nice, especially not for the cameras.
You took your cue to speak, “I’m sorry, I just think it’s for the best.”
You’re sorry? You’re fucking sorry? No, that wasn’t you. He knew it wasn’t. You don’t apologize, you don’t play nice. You say how you mean it and you never felt bad about it. If this was really you doing this you’d be cussing him out. You’d be yelling in his face telling him that you hate him. You were too calm right now.
He looked back at the cameras feeling that anger tipping point and wanting to get away, “I’m done. Take this shit off me.”
“Jungkook…” you called out to him still sitting there. This wasn’t right. He was holding back, you knew he was. He was running away from you and everyone around. You went to follow him no cameras this time going straight to your shared bedroom for the last week.
He didn’t talk to you. He paced around the room unplugging his phone charger, double checking nothing was in the bathroom, doing anything he can to leave this place faster. He threw his suitcase down on the bed brushing past you when you called out to him.
“Whatever you have to say you can save it,” he shook his head, “Especially if it’s any more of that ‘I’m sorry’ bullshit you pulled out there.”
You let out a sigh getting defensive as you crossed your arms over your chest, “It wasn’t bullshit.”
“Yes it was,” he looked up at you nodding his head in disbelief, “You don’t apologize.”
You didn’t say anything, waiting for him to say what he really wanted to say. React the way he really wanted to react and then you can too.
“I know you Y/n I know how you are and oh fuck I am so tired of it,” Jungkook got up from the bed where he’d been rechecking his baggage
“Then why are you so mad!” You snapped, “If you’re tired of me why are you so mad that I want to break up?”
“I’m tired of this!” He waved his arm around you two, “This constant fighting! This yelling and arguing back and forth every day. But I’m not tired of you.”
“I know there’s stuff we need to work on… but I’m just so fucking confused right now,” he licked his lips nervously running his fingers through his tussled hair, “What does this mean? What does this actually mean Y/n? Are we over? Like really over? Never running back again?”
You didn’t look at him, your gaze focused on the floor trying to really think about this. You weren’t good for each other, but you loved him. That’s why this was so confusing, “I don’t know.”
He shook his head with another scoff, “No. No don’t do that. Don’t say you don’t know. You’ve just told me you want to break up but now you’re saying you’re not sure it’s actually over?”
“What do you think this is?” Jungkook walked up to you, “Do you think this is a game or something? I’m telling you I’m tired of fighting. That means that if we break up this time that’s it. I don’t want to do this again.”
“Then why’d you try and make me think you wanted us to be together?” You rolled your eyes. He groaned in frustration facing his back to you trying to gather his thoughts, he pinched between his brows, “I do want to be together. That’s why I put this stupid ass ring on! You’re the one who didn’t.”
He turned back to you, “I want to work on us but I just want to know right now if this is it? If this is your final decision or if you’ll come to me in about a week talking about how much you miss me. Because I can tell you right now I’m not doing it anymore if this is it.”
You didn’t say anything. Your eyes locked with his an intense glare between you two. For some reason this wasn’t leading you both to a strange sense of comfort it usually did. This wasn’t making you want to push his buttons until he’s kissing you hard against the wall. This was empty.
“Say something,” he begged lifting a finger pointed toward that door, “Or I’m going to walk out that door and never talk to you again.”
You opened your mouth, words threatening to spill, to tell him to relax. That it’s not that serious and that when you both calm down you can see how to be together again. It wouldn’t take long. Wouldn’t be the first time either. Still, the words did not come out.
He counted to ten in his head, each second that passed slowing down than the one before and yet you still said nothing. It made the last ounce of fight pour out of his body and onto the floor. So he did what he said. He took his bags and walked out that door.
He begged for a separate car than you. He didn’t even want to be traveling back home with you.
He was so confused right now. His heart raced with a pain he couldn’t explain from breaking up with you [for good as far as he knows] and something else. It wasn’t the same ache the break up was giving him. His heart still sped to the same pace as the other but at the same time it was across the spectrum.
It wasn’t joy. It wasn’t peace. Hell, he was riding back home alone when he’d arrived with a beautiful girlfriend so he shouldn’t be feeling peace. But it’s relief.
For some reason along with the pain he was currently feeling, alone in the back of this car, he also felt relief. Relief because… if this really was the end of you two that meant it was over.
The fighting.
The yelling.
The jealousy and possessiveness. Everything wrong between you two was going to end.
It wasn’t even one sided. In some twisted way it was mutual. He didn’t beg you to chase after him, you didn’t try. It’s like you both realized that you weren’t going to keep fighting like this and it was so refreshing.
He slumped back in the seat, a smile on his face as he shook his head in disbelief. It’s like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder. Unlike the times before he wasn’t already planning on getting back with you. No, right now he doesn’t even picture you in his near future and he can admit it brought some relief into him.
He told himself over and over again that you were the one. That all these strains on your relationship would go away but they didn’t. They just got worse, and he can admit right now that he’s glad it’s over.
Maybe a year from now you’ll run into each other again. You’ll stare in each other’s eyes freezing up awkwardly unsure of what to do. You’ve both would have matured and realized that you only dates two years and it had been on and off. That it wasn’t even that serious and you were just being two insecure people trying to force a relationship to keep going. You’d probably think about how awkward it was that you stood in front of the guy you really tried live right.
And in this scenario you might be the one to crack. You’d tell him that he cut you off leaving you alone after the show and he didn’t even care. He’d happily got over it and was fine without you. That he really did not try and get you back and how dare he.
He’d probably tell you something along the lines of, ‘You wanted this remember? You let me walk away and that was the end. That is the end.’
Right now he isn’t going to think about a year from now if he sees you again. He was going to give you one final goodbye call and wish you the best.
“We could still be friends,” you spoke through the phone.
He shook his head even if you couldn’t see him, “I don’t think we can, I think we should just really try and move on. Give each other some space and work on ourselves.”
“I know,” you sighed out laying alone in your bed, already not used to not having him next to you, “There’s a lot of things we can both work on and we weren’t going to get anywhere avoiding it with each other.”
“I agree.”
::.
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