liv hii!!
i hadn’t checked your blog in a while but i had this thought that i wanted to share with you because you’re the one who would get me the best! ao i ran here and suddenly i saw it’s your birthday! that was a sign idk!! so first of all happy birthday!!! 🥹🥹🩷🩷
now about the thought!! it’s nothing that hasn’t been said before but i was just thinking how important self shipping is. it’s really a form of self love 🥹 and it sets standards for us!! a boy broke my heart but my fictional bf would never!! i think of the way he would look at me with so much love and it reminds me that this is how i should be looked at!! we’re not lowering our standards because our f/o’s have taught us we deserve better and have shown us it is possible to be loved this much.
anyway i just wanted to share this! happy birthday again i hope it’s beautiful for you!!
hiii anon!!!!!
it was a sign, it was fate!!! whatever it was!!! i'm grateful for it because you're here!!! thank you so much for thinking of me and thank you so much for the birthday wishes!!!
you are so so so right!!! it really is a form of self love because yes! we are hearing these things and we are imagining these things from our fictional loves... but it's really coming from us. it shows us what we want and it shows us what we deserve!!! i refuse to settle for a real life boy that doesn't make me feel what my fictional boy makes me feel. and if none of them ever live up, i know i am capable of finding those feelings within myself and giving myself that love!!! that is so special!!! i love self shipping so much!!!
thank you so much for sharing with me!!! it's such a beautiful reminder of what this is all about!!! i love self shipping and i love the self shipping community, i don't know who i'd be without it!!!
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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
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i’m lime green jello rn… need some jealous shy!reader and rafe
rafe had said he invited some other friends. you thought it would be a quiet gathering, just topper and kelce like usual, playing their games and discussing whatever it was your boyfriend talked about with his friends over beers.
you didn't do so well with big crowds, something rafe knew already, but you were getting used to hanging out with the three of them together. you got along with them well, and they didn't seem to mind your quietness like you worried they would.
in the car ride over, rafe told you some other people might be coming. you had tensed up immediately. your first thought was wondering if you could handle being around new people, your second if you could make it through the night like you had originally wanted to.
you knew it was stupid, it always felt that way. and normally rafe was so understanding about your personality, so accommodating. you felt guilty even bringing it up tonight, not wanting to burden him with your issues. sucking it up, you went inside, thinking you could make it work.
you did for most of the night. after rafe left to try and sell like he always did, you talked with kelce and topper on the couch, eating pretzels while they went through beers, introducing yourself to one or two people who came to say hi to them.
you didn't do well away from rafe in situations like this. yes, it was fucked up, that you were so reliant on your boyfriend. you knew it and didn't care anymore, craning your neck to see where he'd gone off to.
"he's over there, princess," kelce comments, gesturing to the far corner of the room. the nickname made you feel clammy and embarrassed—it only felt right coming out of rafe's mouth. you turn to look, watching rafe talk with a pretty girl, leaning in close to say something, the girl smiling and laughing.
in that moment, everything went silent except the sound of your heart thumping in your ears. she was pretty, with an aura of self-assurance that you so profoundly lacked. she didn't seem painfully shy or skittish, she didn't seem like talking to a stranger made her face burn and shoulders shake. she talked to your boyfriend like she knew him, like they were close.
jealousy rakes over you, painting your features green with envy. first, that rafe was talking to this girl so closely, that he had forgotten about you on the couch with his friends. second, that this girl seemed like the epitome of everything you wanted to be—surefooted, confident, pretty enough that she knew it without someone having to remind her all the time.
"who's that?" you ask, though it comes out shaky.
"uh, i think that girl he used to date-" topper starts, but kelce kicks him in the shin. "ow, what the fuck?"
kelce shakes his head, motioning with his eyes to your figure, eyes fixated on your boyfriend and the girl.
"oh, um, the girl he used to hang with. yes, hang out with. that's right," topper corrects with a cough.
it all seems like background noise. you get up, leaving the boys on the couch and heading towards rafe without a second thought. when he sees you, he smiles, opening his arms to bring you in. you don't lean in though, like you always do.
"hey, kid. this is my friend sofia."
"hi," you say, smiling at the pretty girl. "nice to meet you." you turn to rafe, talking so quietly he has to lean in. he brings an arm around your back, bringing you a few feet away.
"hm?"
"can you take me home, please?"
"y'just got here. what's up?" you hesitate for a moment, faltering. then you glance back at rafe's friend, looking at the two of you, her gaze on rafe.
"i didn't come here to watch you talk to some other girl all night." rafe blinks, a little taken aback. in all the months he's known you, he doesn't think you've ever said something so sharp to him.
"excuse me?" he thinks you'll apologize like you always do.
"you heard me," you reply, crossing your arms. "can you take me home or should i walk?" even with your attitude, the question is asked politely, or so he thought. "if you're so busy with her, i'll walk."
rafe laughs, and your eyes get watery. it would be one thing if he understood your feelings once you said it, but he laughed. you turn away, when rafe grabs your arm and keeps you close to him, bringing you further away from the crowd of people.
"what, kid? you jealous, hm? is that what this is?" tears spill down your face before you can stop them, an angry retort bubbling up. it dies in your throat before you can get it out. "she is a friend, s'all. you got that?" rafe brings his knuckles to your temple, tapping softly.
"you didn't tell me about her, and topper said she's your ex girlfriend-"
"he's got a big fuckin' mouth. we went out once. one time. haven't seen her since."
"you invited her-"
"i invited two people, she came with them. now, you want me to leave with you?"
you feel another tear spilling down. you don't rafe to leave the fun for you. he brings his hand to your face, wiping it away.
"we can go right now. don't care. not here for her or anyone else, here for you. got that?" you nod, leaning into his touch. an apology lingers on your touch, but you refrain, still a little angry.
you grab rafe by the collar of his shirt, pulling it in towards you and into a kiss. you stay like that for minutes, not letting go while you make out, catching the attention of others around you. when you let go, his shirt is wrinkled and his lips are red.
"okay, let's go." he follows you out, laughing to himself.
"jealous. you're cute, kid."
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Found this to feed ur little Toji addiction, even though u changed ur pfp again, lol
Did he come over for fun after work? R u guy's living together? R u his plaything or gf? Is this a potential smut incoming?
I'll leave the rest to u. Ik you'll work wisely with this 💯 👌🏻 😌
ps: Normally, I'm anon, but since I recently found out that u can't send anon with pictures... well... (stupid me, ik)
I don't want another 'Melanie Martinez incident' happen, where my whole text disappears, so... uhm... yeah, it's me again... bye 🫠❤️🔥
art: @/yunonoai_
OMMMMMMMG. it’s okay, it was just a phase bc i was writing toji dick for a week straight but he’s still my man 🫂. the tojivegas pfps will always be in my camera roll & my heart, trust
play thing PLEASSSS. i’m his main girl 😞🤚🏽.
you know what maybe, he has two more chapters for his series but i do have more toji wips 🫨🫨. gotta write for other characters tho
THANK U FOR THIS BABY. hes so fine. id call him a uber any day </3
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